MTGM EXTRA! "She kept washing... And washing..."

Summary

My Therapist Ghosted Me – MTGM EXTRA! "She kept washing... And washing..."

Date: December 10, 2025
Hosts: Joanne McNally, Vogue Williams, Joe
Podcast: My Therapist Ghosted Me (Global)

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Overview

In this bonus episode, Vogue Williams and Joanne McNally, joined by Joe, reunite following Vogue's return from Australia and a stint in the jungle (likely referring to a reality show such as I'm a Celebrity...). The trio catch up about travel, discuss the realities of midlife schedules, swap book and podcast recommendations, and dive into a riotously funny listener story about an unexpected massage experience in Glasgow. As always, the conversation is candid, irreverent, and filled with laughter, with the hosts riffing on everything from celebrity memoirs and live shows to awkward (and steamy) massage mishaps.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Catching Up After the Jungle [00:10–02:12]

• Adjustment to Normal Life: Vogue reflects on her return from Australia, missing local coffee (“drank all the coffee I could possibly fit into my body”), the perils of quitting sugar and caffeine, and struggling with time zones.
• Technology Detox: She mentions not missing her phone at all while away: “Once it’s gone, it’s gone… I did consider… what’s going on in the world of celebrity?” [01:45].

2. Fitness, Food, and Australian Lifestyle [02:12–03:57]

• Contrast in Habits: Joanne discusses cycles of physical fitness followed by “sloth phases” – eating petrol station sandwiches and wine while on tour.
  • Joanne: “It’s a room-service, sloth buffet vibe.” [02:31]
• Australian Schedules: Vogue admires Australia’s early-rising culture (“Cafes open at 6am… It’s the right time for me”), while Joanne appreciates the permission colder climates grant for indulgence and lazy winters.

3. Book & Podcast Recommendations [03:57–07:46]

• Books:
  • Vogue: recommends The Wedding People—not wanting to spoil, but says “very early on she comes out with this thing and it’s just like, whoa.” [04:21]
  • Joanne: in the middle of Kathy Burke’s memoir A Mind of My Own, praising Burke’s honest portrayal of her tough childhood:
    Joanne: “But Kathy writes about her childhood in a way that’s so engaging... My god, that woman had a life.” [05:24]
• Podcasts:
  • Joanne: recommends In the Dark (The New Yorker): “Five family members were shot dead… almost nothing about the story is as it seems. It’s really, really good.” [07:00]
  • Vogue gently mocks Joanne’s affinity for true crime: “If you’d like anything around murder and death, Joanne is your woman.” [07:27]

4. Live Show Announcements and Matinee Banter [08:15–12:41]

• Joanne Announces Ninth Apollo Show: Matinee!
  • In a playful, over-the-top tone for Vogue’s benefit, Joanne reveals a daytime show, “It’s a matinee, baby! Yes, matinee.” [08:50]
  • They riff about how this is perfect for those who want early nights and parental responsibilities.
    Vogue: “We start drinking at 12… Three o’clock we sit down, we watch Joanne… bed by…” [09:38]
• Logistics and Worries:
  • Joanne frames the matinee as a “massive experiment,” content even if only 200 show up: “It would actually be even maybe more craic than the scent filling us.” [11:43]

5. Listener Story: “She kept washing… And washing…” [13:06–17:56]

(Title Inspiration)

• Listener’s Thai Massage Experience in Glasgow:
  • Walks in for a massage at a handwritten “Thai massage 45 pounds” sign. The place turns out to be a private residence, and the language barrier with two confused women adds to the surreal atmosphere.
  • She is led to a bedroom, stripped to her underwear, and expects a massage, but instead gets washed with a sponge and soapy water for 20 minutes while being called “sexy.”
  • Realization dawns that a “happy ending” is being offered. Politely declines, pays £45 (and loses the change), and gets escorted to the ATM by a 10-year-old to ensure payment.
    Listener’s summary: “Paid £50, the boy didn’t give me any change, left with damp knickers and learned the handwritten signs in Glasgow are not to be trusted.” [16:56]
• Hosts’ Reactions:
  • Pure delight and disbelief, with both Vogue and Joanne riffing on the awkwardness, professionalism (“nothing but respect for this woman… pre work into the work” [16:22]), and the perennial uncertainty of what to expect in these ‘massage parlours’.
  • Joanne: "I'm not going to soap a lad down, I'm just gonna go straight in with the dry hand..." [16:36]
  • Vogue: “Once you’re in there, you’re going to take the end.” [17:26]
  • Discussion about “happy ending” codes, signs, and the reality of sex work in such environments.

6. Discussion: Happy Endings, Sex Work, and Personal Anecdotes [17:56–20:11]

• Grey Areas of Thai Massage: Joanne and Vogue talk candidly about experiences and perceptions of Thai massage, revealing the tension between genuine treatment and places that offer sexual services.
  • Joanne: “Thai massages are the best in the business… [but] I see signs: please keep pants on. What are these women putting up with?” [18:05]
• *Joanne mentions meeting a "happy ending man" for a TV show (who specializes in pleasuring women, skipping the massage):
  • Vogue (laughing): "Can you say fingering on the pod?" [19:03]
• Empowerment vs. Sadness:
  • Joanne: “I’m turning into a middle-aged man where I’m like, oh do I have to pay for it now? How sad.”
  • Vogue: “Don’t look at it… How empowering.”

7. Gullibility and Jungle Pranks [20:11–21:37]

• Jungle Prank: Vogue shares how she completely believed a contestant’s story about crocodiles wearing gum shields during a challenge, only to realize it was a joke later:
  • Vogue: “I can’t believe that. Believed it the whole time until the end. He was like, folk Vogue. They didn’t have gum shields.” [20:48]
  • Joanne: “I would have absolutely believed that hook, line and sinker… they’ve got armbands and gum shields…” [21:06]

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• "It’s a room-service, sloth buffet vibe." – Joanne, on her lazy travel periods. [02:31]
• “If you’d like anything around murder and death, Joanne is your woman.” – Vogue, about Joanne’s podcast taste. [07:27]
• “It’s a matinee, baby! Yes, matinee.” – Joanne, announcing the daytime show to Vogue’s delight. [08:50]
• "Paid £50, the boy didn’t give me any change, left with damp knickers and learned the handwritten signs in Glasgow are not to be trusted.” – Listener, on the infamous massage. [16:56]
• "I'm not going to soap a lad down, I'm just gonna go straight in with the dry hand." – Joanne, on efficiency in questionable massage scenarios. [16:36]
• "Once you’re in there, you’re going to take the end." – Vogue, on going through with awkward situations. [17:26]
• "I’m turning into a middle-aged man where I’m like, oh do I have to pay for it now? How sad.” – Joanne, on the realities of adulthood and sex work. [19:30]
• “I can’t believe that. Believed it the whole time until the end. He was like, folk Vogue. They didn’t have gum shields.” – Vogue, on falling for a jungle prank. [20:48]

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Timestamps for Key Segments

• Return from Australia & Jungle tales: 00:10–02:12
• Lifestyle differences/fitness slumps: 02:12–03:57
• Book and podcast recommendations: 03:57–07:46
• Live show/matinee announcements: 08:15–12:41
• Listener's “Washing” massage story: 13:06–17:56
• Thai Massage & Happy Endings Chat: 17:56–20:11
• Crocodile gum shields story (believability): 20:11–21:37

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Tone and Style

The episode is true to the series’ blend of honesty and hilarity—fast-paced, unfiltered, brash, and full of affectionate jibes and genuine warmth between the hosts.

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For more details and updates on live shows, merch, and listener contributions, visit mytherapistghostedme.com or contact [e-mail].

Transcript

[A]

This is a Global Player original podcast.

Hello.

[B]

Welcome to the bonus of. My therapist ghosted me. It's me, Jamal McNally. It's her. Vogue Williams. It's him. Joe Ashywell.

[C]

It's.

[B]

It's the usual crowd.

Can I say how secure I feel knowing that you're at the end of the road?

[A]

I know. It's nice, isn't it, that I'm around? I just feel like Australia's, like, not just a different time zone. It's a different.

[C]

Ah.

[B]

It's different world. You're in the upside down. It's all very Stranger things coated.

[A]

Yeah, I do love Australia. And I drank all the coffee that I could possibly fit into my body in the time that I had to fit it in. And because obviously I had no coffee in the jungle. And when I say cutting caffeine and sugar, I had the worst headaches. They were like, expect really bad headaches on day two. And I was like, not gonna happen to me. Oh, my God. I nearly cut the head off. I nearly had to cut it off.

[B]

Can I just say, we're so lucky to have you back. And have you publicly said that you were hypnotized against insects?

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Oh, Grant. But, like, I don't know if that's public knowledge or am I, like, satting a story on her for free?

[A]

It's not against the rules. And I think that I was. I think I was hypnotized against, like, the odd insect. I don't think I was hypnotized against hundreds of them being poured on my head. But still I coped. I'm happy to be home. I am happy to be home. But I do love Australia, and I had a really nice time there, but it is difficult to keep in touch with people because of the time difference now.

[B]

I found that harder to be honest. I mean, I think we're gonna have. You know how difference.

[A]

I forgot about the phone. I didn't even think about the phone when I was in the jungle, because once it's gone, it's gone. You're just like. I did. I did consider in my mind when I'd be sitting there with my resting face, and I was like, I wonder what's going on in the. In the world of the celebrity. As I told.

[B]

Did you find your thumb just kind of scrolling the air? That's what I would do. I'd just be, like, scrolling.

[A]

Concerned about the Beckhams. To be honest with you, I didn't know what was happening. Had they made up when I was out? Just. No they hadn't.

[B]

The drama rolls on.

[A]

It does roll on. But I would like to take one thing to Australia. I don't know if anyone's into it, but they all get up and maybe it's the Gold Coast. I don't know if it's the whole of Australia, but obviously I was jet lagged when I went over. So I'd be up at like 4 in the morning, open the window, everyone's jogging on the beach. They're all the Cafes open at 6am over there. It's the right time for me.

[B]

I, at the moment I'm feeling great on myself. Okay. I had. I go through periods where I'm very physical, like as in working out, training, running around, doing my bits and bobs. And then I go through my sloth phase where I'm on the road and I'm kind of eating petrol station sandwiches and drinking wine and very much. It's a room service sloth, Buffett's vibe.

[A]

I'll never understand the sandwiches though. I just. For me, I just. I like what sandwiches are very.

[B]

It's none of your business.

[A]

It's damp and moist. Okay.

[B]

I like the chicken that has never touched a real chicken in its life. I like the stuff that's being manufactured by man under a Bunsen burner.

[A]

No, no, I just can't.

[B]

And a bin bag, they're like cutting up plastic and they're burning and I'm like, delish. Put a bit of mayo on it.

[A]

Looking solid. Leaves that get thrown in there.

[B]

But anyway, so I was like, I'm not really feeling myself at the moment. On. A woman said to me, oh, it's just winter, Joanne. And I was like, oh my God, you're so right. I'm just. It's winter. Me and Australia, because their winters are not like our winters. So of course they're super hot because they're, they're always on display in a way that this side of the world we're not. Like, we can all, we can all get a bit like lazy and sassy and sit on the couch and like eat with our hands and like throw a lot of carbs down and just enjoy that season. Whereas if you're in Australia and your body is always on display because it's roasting, it's a different energy over there.

[A]

But I do. It's not just that. It's the way their timings sit. I just really like them. And since I got home, I don't like jet lag on the way over there because I find it torturous to be sitting up on your own. And I know. Fine. Phone. Keep in mind. So, like, I was. Obviously, I had my natur. So it's okay, but obvious. Oh, a book recommendation. The Wedding People. Very good.

[B]

Oh, what's it about?

[A]

I just feel like I'll give away a spoiler. It's. It's very good because it. Very early on, she comes out with this thing and it's just like, whoa. I just wasn't expecting that. But it's a really, really good book to read. So I was reading that over there.

[B]

Brilliant. And I will read your wrecks. And can I give a rack. Have I spoken about Kathy Burke yet? Now, I did her podcast about death. She had that amazing death podcast that she.

[A]

There's a will, there's. Oh, she stops.

[B]

She's left. There's a will, she's left. But apparently Kathy wrote whole thing on her phone and stop. Yeah, she wrote it on her phone. And like, I. So what's it about?

[A]

First of all, is it a.

[B]

It's a memoir. It's a memoir.

[C]

A Mind of my own.

[B]

A mind of my own. Now, I'm only halfway through. Like, she hasn't hit the Kevin and Perry stage or like, she's not in. She's starting to act as such, but, my God, that woman had a life. And, and as you know, I've been very vocal about the fact that I. And I love a celebrity memoir. I love, like, getting into the nitty gritty of people's lives. But Kathy writes about her childhood in a way that's so engaging. It's. It's. It's.

[A]

I'm.

[B]

I'm thoroughly enjoying it. And she doesn't fluff things. She's quite, like, measured in how she speaks. But apparently she wrote the whole thing on her phone. But anyway, it's thoroughly enjoyable. But she. My God, her mother died when she was. I don't know if she was even a year old. And then she was raised by her father, who was a raving alcoholic, and her two older brothers. And she was kind of raised like a little boy for a very long time. And then she talks about, like, her punk era, and so I'm just finishing her punk era. And it's. It's. It's. It's really, really good. She's such an interesting person. But also, I have a podcast recommendation.

[A]

Would you mind if I. Can I put on my face mask? Because this isn't recorded. It's not going to block anything.

[C]

Is it Smash on me?

[A]

Can you hear me? Still or no?

[B]

Yeah.

[C]

When you said a face mask, I.

[B]

Yeah, I thought you meant like a.

[C]

Yeah, you sound like the man in the iron mask.

[A]

Listen, guys, I liked it. I liked it.

[C]

What the. What the.

[B]

What are you up to, Vogue? What are you doing? Have you invested in that? What's happened?

[A]

I was. I just wanna. I wanted to put on my LED mask. For God's. Like she.

[B]

I asked.

[C]

And then I thought you meant a cream.

[A]

Do you know what this feels like? This.

[B]

I thought.

[A]

Hair again. This feels like the hair all over again. Okay.

[C]

I can't believe we don't make.

[B]

I thought you meant your little Frankenstein mask that you like wearing in your private time. I didn't know you meant your skin.

[A]

You have the same mask. I don't know what you're. You're talking about, you stupid.

[B]

Let's go. Let's revert back to business. So, okay, it's called. Sorry, it's called in the Dark. So it's from the New Yorker. So I'm just going to read you the description, then you can make up your. I don't want to spoil it. On August 7, 1985, five family members were shot dead in their English country manor, White House Farm. It looked like an open and showcase, but the New Yorker staff writer Heidi Blake finds that almost nothing about the story is as it seems. It's really, really good. I. I don't want to spoil.

[A]

I watched. I've watched a show on that. But Joanne, you're always here for the really uplifting pod recommendations. If you'd like anything around murder and death. Joanne is your woman and.

[B]

Sorry, Peppa Pig. I mean, what you want? Come on. I'm a woman in my.

[A]

I want. I want Care Bears and Peppa Pig. I can't be listening to that kind of stuff and just bringing out a pilot soon.

[B]

So you'll be delighted.

[A]

Five murders. Five, not just one, just five murders. Casually out of.

[B]

The more the merrier.

[A]

Great. I'll just pop it on before bed.

[B]

Like the New Yorker. They're like, it's so well made, it's so well produced. And I will. I don't think I'm giving away a spoiler by saying it's a suggestive miscarriage of justice. And it is. It's full on. It's really me. And highly recommend. That's all I'll say.

[A]

Thanks. That's a great thought for me to have. Now it's getting nice to my bedtime. It's 20 past 6. My aura is about to tell me to start Preparing for bed.

[B]

Well, let's go, folks. That's all I'm going to say because coming for us all.

I have some exciting news. And evoke, you will appreciate this. She's leaning in. I'm adding a ninth Apollo.

[A]

Me.

[B]

Oh, my God, a ninth Apollo. But guess, Vogue this. And this is for you. This is me. This is me stripping.

[A]

Do the O2. You could have done the O2 over here.

[B]

It's not the same vibe, but you can never predict how it's going to go. But this one's for you, Vogue. This is me literally doing a titty dance for you. Because the ninth Apollo is.

It's a matinee, baby. Yes, matinee.

[A]

Oh my God, matinee.

[B]

I said if I'm gonna get both Williams out of the house between three and six, I'm gonna rent out the Hammersmith Apollo and tap dance for her. So I'm in. So there's only one Apollo left with six with tickets available. And it's the 15th of February, and I've been wanting to do this matinee thing for ages because I have had questions about it. Now, it could be one of those things where do you know when someone's like, oh, please come to Atlanta, we all want to see you. And then you go, and there's three tickets out. I do not know how it's going to go. But the beauty of it is I've, I've, I've had Apollo that night anyway, so I'm like, it, I'll go in early.

[A]

Gross. I'm not going that night. Get lost. I am at the mat, Joe. 3, 3pm I just can't show.

[B]

Okay, Joe, it's the HRT show.

[A]

We start drinking at 12. We start, yeah, we start drinking at 12. We go for lunch. We don't get too messy because we might start shouting at her. Three o', clock, we sit down, we watch Joanne bed by.

[B]

Well, look, this is a massive experiment on my part and I'm willing to do the work and I'm willing to trial it because, you know, you are obviously, you know that, like I rent that venue. So obviously I have to, you know, you don't want to lose money on the venue. But because I'm in the venue that, that night, the costs are already there. So I'm like, okay, let's see, let's see if this is actually gonna work. I'll do a 3pm and then we'll do an 8pm and they're on sale.

[C]

For a coffee morning that morning as well. Whilst you're there.

[A]

What's his name? What's his name? Daniel o'. Donnell. She's the new Daniel o'. Donnell.

We can have a coffee.

[B]

Wild insulting as well you know. Oh, she's a Daniel. Daniel o' Donnell of standard comedy the Dream.

[A]

I think all comics should follow suit. I'm sorry. But listen, we have, we, we. Everyone likes a scheduled bedtime. No one wants to be up too late. And I'll tell you what, the last time I got Cheers show, I by accident didn't go to bed till half four and I wasn't happy with myself. And that's in the morning, by the way. Half four in the morning. Yeah, it happened by accident. At least now I know if there's an accident, I'll still be in bed by 11.

[B]

Oh, you'll be caught. You'll be in your eye masks and earplugs by 10 at the very latest. And while I'm here, I also. I'd be killed if I don't mention these other shows. We've, we've added an extra. Leeds, Brighton, Manchester and Liverpool, 3rd of June 18th, 26th and 27th. And also Australia and New Zealand are also on sale. You know the deal, you know where to go, you know, you know the crack. But the main events and the 3Arena, obviously you have to put that in there.

[A]

But 20, 26 to 3.

[B]

But, but yeah, matinee for you, V, just for you, baby.

[A]

What if I'm the only one there?

[B]

You will be.

[A]

Don't play you don't blame this on me. I will not take the hill first and girls listening, don't let me down. I'm, I'm gonna listen. If that show is half sold, I'm gonna go out, I'm gonna start flyering again. I'm gonna get this sold. But you know, I actually.

[B]

Do you know what? I actually do not mind. I'm not just saying that because obviously we all want to do well and sell and cover our costs and all that jazz, but I'm. This is such a. It's genuine experiment. If there is 200 of us there in the Hammersmith Apollo, it would actually be even maybe more crack than the scent filling us.

[A]

I'm so annoyed. I went there last month.

[B]

It's a day out.

[A]

I, I'm gonna have to, I will have to do a couple of evenings as well because everyone's asking me will I go to the show with them? And I'm like, I'll go, I'll go to the show. So I'm gonna, I Have I have at least. Well, I've got two more and then I'll go to the 2026 Arena. Obviously, I'm not gonna miss your arena.

[B]

No, no, no, no. God, no. But yeah, you're. Well, I'd like you at the matinee with the kids, of course. And Joe, you're welcome to bring your children as well. It's a. It's a family diet. Yeah, I'm gonna give them little headphones as they come in.

[A]

I might bring tea. Tea would absolutely love.

[B]

Now I've seen the footage. He's growing.

[A]

He doesn't understand what you say anyway.

[B]

So it's exactly the accent.

[A]

Hello, Joanne. Voc. And Joe, just listening to the bonus episode, Booker Road, howling with laughter at his experience of massage. The bonus episode reminded me. Sorry to. Joe did grow to the bonus.

[B]

Yeah, he did a bonus. Yeah.

[C]

Sounds like you've got some catching up to do, mate.

[A]

Okay. Sorry, Joe, I literally just landed. Sorry. I'm sorry. I haven't been able to catch up.

[B]

Fully lazy.

[A]

My Christ. The amount of I got off people yesterday and I'm like, I have been flying for 26 hours. Can you just give me a little break? Okay. The bonus reminded me of my one and only Thai massage. A story about my complete, complete naivety and innocence to the world of illegal massage parties in Glasgow. I was walking through Glasgow city center after a very tough morning. Then I saw a handwritten sign advertising Thai massage 45 pounds. And I thought, bargain. This is the sign I needed. This will pull me out of my slump. I walked into the parlor.

[B]

Sorry, like wanker out of her slump or polarized. Come on, carry on. Do you know what I mean? Come on. Which was literally, it's. It's right in itself.

[A]

Which was literally just someone's house. Two women looked at me like I just walked into their living room uninvited, because I basically had. When I asked for the massage, they spoke to each other in Mandarin, looking absolutely baffled. But I was committed to this bargain. This sounds like me. So I enthusiastically went back outside, took a picture of the sign, pointed to my phone and asked the 45 pound offer was still available. One woman reluctantly shrugged and led me to a bedroom. I was delighted. Stripped down to my pants, lay face down, sheet over me, ready for someone to walk on my back and sort out all my grief tension.

[B]

Oh.

[C]

Oh.

[A]

She came back with a sponge and warm soapy water and started washing me.

[B]

Delicious. Yeah, love it. I don't see any problems here.

[A]

I'd love to be washed when Was the last time someone washed you?

[B]

I cannot remember the last time I was soaped down.

[A]

I was reading a book and someone was getting their hair washed by someone and I thought that would be like, imagine like, I want you to wash my hair the next time I see you. John.

[B]

You'Ve a lot of color in your hair. Vogue.

[A]

Okay, Juan, you're washing my hair.

Every part of me. I'm lying there thinking this is unusual, but sure, maybe this is how Thai massage starts. The deep tissue bit is coming. She kept washing, unwashing. Then she told me how sexy I was.

[B]

Okay. Oh yeah, okay. This is going to a fruity place. We're going fruity, we're going spice bug.

[A]

Oh, thanks. I said brightly, thinking she was just being friendly, still fully expecting the massage part to begin. 20 minutes of cold soapy water later, it finally clicked. And listen, I've always been slow to catch on to things, but everything suddenly came into sharp focus. This woman was absolutely working towards a happy ending. I panicked. I need to get back to work, I said, asking for a towel. She looked genuinely disappointed, but was very quick to demand the £45. Yeah, of course, obviously they didn't take cards, so I got escorted by a 10 year old boy to the cash machine to make sure I didn't do a runner.

[B]

Sorry. Now I like nothing but respect for this woman who's actually putting a pre work into the work. I'm not going to soap a lot down, I'm just gonna go straight in with the dry hand. So I think frankly it's worth the 45 quid.

[A]

What a dry hand. Come on, you can't video.

[B]

Oh yeah, I'm in a bad place.

[A]

A little bit of sandpaper on a sandpaper glove.

[B]

I'm like, you will not enjoy this for a second. I will do it, but this is my electric sander.

[A]

So there it is. I paid £50, the boy didn't give me any change. For the world's most awkward, spongebob left with damp knickers and learned the handwritten signs in Glasgow are not to be trusted. On the plus side, it definitely took my mind off the funeral. Love the podcast. And Joanne can't wait to see you in Glasgow in February. Joanne, get the address for yourself.

[B]

Look, listen. And I, you know, like I, I'm not the.

[A]

I don't have to take the happy ending.

[B]

Aren't you on? Well, I take the bathing and they'd be like, just cut out the end. I'm tired.

[A]

Once you're in there, you're going to take the end.

[B]

If I thought a woman would like.

[A]

The back of my hand.

[B]

Yeah. And we could chat and have a glass of wine. I'd be like, go for it.

[A]

I'd love that.

[B]

You just don't want to finish me, you know, it's fine. I, I think that's, I actually think that's community led and I think there's no problem with that.

[A]

I nearly went for a Thai massage in. And this shouldn't be what you think of when you think of it, but like, there was a place in Brisbane and, sorry, the Gold Coast. And I was like, maybe I'll go for a Thai massage. Because I'd had a massage in the hotel and the girl kept going, yeah.

Yeah. And it was like, I was like, oh my God, this is. I, I it that felt sexual to me. So maybe I wouldn't mind the Thai massage.

[B]

I feel sorry. So I, I Because like, let's face it, Thai massages are like, they're the best in the business. That's why we all go. That's why they have such a good reputation. But I've gone into Thai massage parlors because I like to get my back cracked and I like to get the kicked out of my back every now and again. But I see signs on the door going, please keep pants on. And I'm like, what are these women putting up with? Like, this is awful. Like, but then I guess it's kind of, it's like, no one's sure. And men go in under the premise of like, is this.

[A]

How do you find out, though? Is it just through word of mouth that you find out which one is which?

[B]

Because I think so.

[A]

There's, yeah, there's an I think so.

[B]

Yeah. And I think suddenly I think at the end they'll be like, look, do you want the happy ending? Blah, blah, blah. Or like you go into somewhere and when there's signs going, please keep your clothes on. Your pervert. You're like, okay, this isn't the vibe.

[A]

Well, I told you about the happy ending man who I met for a TV show I was doing. And he basically goes around and just happy ends women. I don't even know if he bothers with the massage. He just goes and does this.

[B]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[A]

Fingering. Can you say fingering?

[B]

Can I say, I mean, listen, I understand it. I'm a busy woman. Would I like to give my hand a night off every now and again? Sure, why not? Business is business. Money's money. Throw it away. Get, get what you want. Okay.

[A]

If you're paying the 45 pence in Glasgow, which you certainly will. Joanne, I think these, you know what, you owe us this. We wanted for a bit of content. Tell us how you go. Enjoy the bath and enjoy the happy ending.

[B]

I'm turning into a middle aged man where I'm like, oh, do I have to pay for it now? How sad.

[A]

Don't look at it. Just look at it as how empowering. How empowering.

[B]

Sorry, Bonnie Blue has been arrested speaking of sex work.

[A]

Oh, God. I was gonna, I, I actually, I, I thought we'd get away with it, but maybe 15 years in jail. At least we won't hear from her anymore.

[B]

I, no more than me not getting my head around AI and I'm sharing photos of like fish with binoculars on their eyes. I, I'm, I'm concerned. I'm like, is this real or is it a pure stunt? So I'm gonna, I'm gonna hang up on this call now and I'm gonna go and I'm gonna find out. I think she's genuinely been arrested. But you wouldn't know where her. It's all press and all, I think, I don't know.

[A]

That came out from the authorities in Bali. Will I tell you how? Will I tell you how much I believe everything everyone says about me? So in the jungle, Ginge told me that, like, you come back, you tell each other about your trial. So he came back and he was like, yeah. And, and then I went into this other thing and there was two crocodiles, but it was fine because they had gum shields on. I was like. And I went into the BT and I was like, how did she get gum shields for the crocodiles? I said, that is amazing. I was like, I can't believe that. Believed it the whole time until the end. He was like, folk Vogue. They didn't have gum shields.

[B]

Sorry, Vogue. I think this is why we work well together. Because I would have absolutely believed that hook, line and sinker. Because I'm like, alligators, they're like, they're involved in a professional job. They don't want them to be hurt. They've got armbands and gum shields. I'm like, yeah, fair. I would never question it.

[A]

If he had never told me. I would never, ever have thought any differently. I would have just been like, where do they get them? And is it like when you start hockey where you have to put it in the warm water? So how big was the joke for the, for the alligator one?

[B]

I, I wouldn't question it. Like, I'd be like. I trust you. What you're telling me. I trust that we're all in this together. And, yeah, fair play. Have they got braces and veneers? Grant.

[A]

I know.

Thanks, everybody, for listening. And I hope you, too, have a gum shield for your crocodile. Goodbye.

This has been a global player original production.