B (2:06)

Davina McCall has made it trendy. I mean, have you seen her? Like, I saw her at the Brits. Like, she's a 10 out of 10 ride. I want to, I don't. I told everyone I don't want to go to Ibiza anymore. I'm done with Ibiza. I'm not done with Ibiza because they go, her and her husband and they just seem like such great crack.

A (2:26)

Yeah.

B (2:26)

And I want to go to Ibiza with them. They don't know yet, but I'm just going to. I'm going to tag on. I'm going to tag on.

A (2:31)

And while it's great that the menopause is having a moment and hopefully one that stays, it also is. The result is women of my age and younger are all kind of freaking out now about us and freaking out about fertility and all, which I also do think that you should be aware of fertility and knowledge is power, etc. But like, one of my mates is pregnant at the moment, naturally 43. And she said when she was in with her gynecologist, he said the last woman in had just gotten pregnant naturally at 48. So like, like there's also, you know, you don't just like fall off the cliff of Baron when you turn 40

B (3:04)

in the womb 100 and also have kids. Like, I can understand why people want to have kids a bit later. It's like, it's so full on. It is. I'm glad. And this is no shade to anyone who has kids when they're younger if they want to.

A (3:18)

But I, you know what?

B (3:20)

I wouldn't. Yes, you're Peter. You're a slack. Yeah, I, I wasn't mature enough in my 20s. Do you know, I wasn't even allowed to skip transition year. My school said I wasn't mature enough to skip transition years, so I was. What?

A (3:39)

How have you only told me this now?

B (3:44)

I thought it would have been obvious to you.

A (3:46)

I still don't think I'd let you skip transition. You're now when you're 40. That is hilarious.

B (3:52)

I know.

A (3:53)

Never heard of anyone being blocked.

B (3:55)

Skipping transition.

C (3:57)

For those of us not familiar with the Irish education system, it's fourth year,

B (4:03)

so you're around 16. And like, it's kind of. It's not a, it's a dosh year, but, like, you have loads of fun, you go on loads of trips. You can do it as selective, but it's not. If you're me selective, you do your jade. It's mandatory.

A (4:18)

You do first, second, third year, you do your junior in Ireland, which is the. What is it the HSC, the IMF? What do you call, what do you call them? GCSE. We do our GCSEs which is our junior and then we have a selective year where you kind of do a lot of arts and crafts charity work. I've started as Ralph, the title going boy in the Sound of Music. You know, big things like that or you can straight in and start studying for your leaving search. But most people do transition here like most people. Like I.

B (4:46)

Well a lot of people were escaping so I thought I wanted to put. It did make sense because you also do work experience. You do work experience and transition year. And when I found out about the work experience I made a plan with my friend Amy whose mom worked in makeup and we just. I said to my parents, I'm going to work with her in this TV studio doing makeup. And I used to just go to Amy's house and we just sit and watch. Yeah, you nailed it for two weeks. I did get some time off.

A (5:13)

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Whereas I actually made the most of transition year and I did my work experience. I worked.

B (5:19)

Did you do.

A (5:20)

I worked on Fair City in RTE tit.

B (5:23)

How'd you get in there?

A (5:25)

Listen, game knows game actually can't remember. I actually can't remember how I got in but this is.

B (5:31)

I wanted to. If I was working on Ferris City I would have gone to, to school.

A (5:36)

I was, yeah, I was in. I wanted to be an actor, an actress and I worked in all those, the charity secondhand shops and all. You do your bits and you do your bobs. It's a gotcha great fun. It's fun, it's good fun.

B (5:48)

I mean Amber, Amber always used to herself, she just never. She was so short sighted and lazy. So instead of actually going around and looking for a job she'd be interested in, she decided to work in Neil's office. Unlike she had to work.

A (6:02)

Yeah.

B (6:02)

To five. It was even like at home. When we were like given jobs at home, Amber, instead of going to work in the Summit shop like I did, decided to work in our garden with the gardener. And the gardener was like it was another full on 9 to 5 job.

A (6:16)

Listen, she's work smarter, not harder. Do you know what I mean? That's, that's Amber's mantra. I joined field. Now I'm going to do a proper deep dive on this and I'm going to do some proper research on this because women are asking me saying like I've got all the stories about field but I'll tell you this it was. I had an.

B (6:39)

Do you want me to come and piss on you for practice?

A (6:45)

This is why you had to do transition your Vogue. You have an immature take on things. I will be pissing on you. If you were mature enough, you would know that.

B (6:57)

Yes, I should have.

A (6:59)

I am the top, absolutely not the bottom. But I was shown. So I was chatting to my friend Michelle, Michelle Swarth, who, you know, who contributed to this podcast during the Jungle, and she was like, show us your field profile. So we showed it to her and she goes, oh, are you matching women now? Have you opened it up to women? And I said, no, no. Why do you think that? She goes, who's that woman there? And I said, that's me. And then she. She was like, what? I look so unlike my profile photo that Michelle thought I had signed up to women. And then she held the phone up against my face and the two of us just corrupted. Laughing was ridiculous. It was so insulting, but yet so true and sobering. So I have to renegotiate my. My all. I'm just not ours getting hot again yet. It's not my time yet.

B (7:47)

It's not summer. It's. Yeah, exactly. Ah, listen, pull up. Listen. Come on. That's too late. Start in April.

A (7:53)

The. The dial up will begin. I'll. I, I'll end May at a soft six, I'll start June at a tight eight, and I might finish August at a 12th. You wouldn't know with me.

B (8:04)

And then by Spain, if you. Spain in the summer. If you're coming to Spain in the summer, just. Can you not just do the glow up in July?

A (8:11)

No, I will. I won't let you down.

B (8:13)

When you've left. When you've left.

A (8:14)

I won't let you down.

B (8:15)

Yeah, I don't want you to glow up before. Thank you.

A (8:18)

No, of course not. No, no. I'll go into season four and get my ass electrocuted. Like, I'll do it all. Like, I'll put the work in.

B (8:24)

Have you done the ass electrocution?

A (8:25)

Yeah, yeah.

B (8:26)

Does it work?

C (8:27)

What's it supposed to do?

A (8:29)

The ass electrocution is a she. It's. It's advertised as a bbl.

B (8:36)

Like, it lifts your ass. It does like thousands of squats in like a couple of minutes.

A (8:41)

Exactly. Now when I said I was. I said I was like getting a bbl. Rick, my agent rang in quite the panic because he thought I was going like full cardi b vibes. I was like, no, no, no, it's not. It's like, it's just a phrase they use, you know, like, they call it juice cleanse, Botox for the face. But I do, I do see a lift. She says, lying in her bed.

B (9:01)

Well, I'll tell you what. I spent a lot of time trying to sort out this RS back here and sometimes record myself doing my workouts. I think, what's the point? What is the point? One side electrocuted.

A (9:13)

Honestly, I might even bring her to the house. I'm so lazy at the moment. I even got season to come to the house, swing me around to the bed so I don't get bed sores. Electrocute my arse. But like, I say like. And I said this to Michelle as well, when she scoffed at my photo. I said, michelle, you're looking. I'm still in winter mode. You wait. When I get a fire in my

B (9:34)

Pilates bed, won't know what hit it.

A (9:37)

Well, no, that will.

B (9:38)

That.

A (9:38)

Nothing's going to hit that. But what I will. Other things I will hit. And I like to stretch on the Pilates bed. I stretch. It's good for the house.

B (9:44)

You'd almost convinced me to buy one of those beds. I was like, jeez, if Joanne's that into it. And what you were. There was a couple of weeks that you were very into it. I'm shocked you haven't got yourself skates. I thought that they would have been next for you.

A (9:56)

I'm too busy trying to sign up for an oil painting class, so I've moved on from skates and learn Irish on Duolingo.

B (10:04)

I do want to do that, but

A (10:05)

I will say so. I have. I've. There's a woman I know who teaches Pilates and she was like, do you want me to come over and teach you Pilates on that stunning bed that you have from Flexira, by the way, Irish company. Thank you so much. One of the best presents I've ever gotten in my life. And I was like, yeah, I'd love that. So I am going to start the Pilates experience. And like I say, are you vaping or laughing?

B (10:31)

I just don't know if you're serious. You're literally on camera.

C (10:35)

You kill, knobhead. Look at everything you're doing, But also the camera's following you. So when you.

A (10:45)

When you turn away and laugh and scoff and scoff at my journey, like, in full view of me and Joe Asiwell.

B (10:54)

Who needs friends? Who needs enemies of who got friends like me and Michelle?

A (11:01)

I know you have a ring light on you. Like, we can fully see what you're doing. Listen, I'm just not ready yet. It's not. Hot girl summary out of a couple of weeks.

B (11:14)

I used to go. Well, when I say I used to go. I went to two Pilates classes and one of them, he kind of made a joke at me in the class because, like, it's not the kind of training I do. So I was finding part of it quite difficult. And he's like, that's the only ones you have plugged on. And I thought you. I'm not coming back.

A (11:31)

No, you shouldn't laugh at. That's so unfair. I find I don't like that at all.

B (11:35)

Now, speaking of the whole class.

A (11:38)

No, that's really mean. It's not your fault. You have a wide gate and has nothing to do with focus. Are you sure? You sure? Oh, she's like, we're gonna have to put two Pilates beds together, like twin beds for each. When an unmarried couple back in the 50s ago on holidays, they'd have to put their two twin beds in a hotel room there. So you can see together. That's what we'll do with your Pilates, but you'll still be hanging off the side of it. I like, I've just never seen a gate this wide. No one's seen a guy. Speaking of Pilates, can I slag someone off?

B (12:19)

Yeah. Is it us?

A (12:21)

I know. That was a rhetorical question. I know. Did you. Are you watching? Is anyone watching? I'm sure some of our listeners are watching Love is Blind, the new American one.

B (12:31)

No.

A (12:31)

And there's two people on us called. Let me get this because it's.

B (12:35)

Did you start watching the. The show with Carl and the Goss? Another episode just dropped today.

A (12:42)

Oh, God, it's so good.

B (12:53)

I went to collect tea today from school and his, like, he hasn't been feeling well, but he wanted to go to school today and he had a temperature and he was off at this thing where they go to the woods and go on adventure and. And his teacher walked in and his teacher was like, giving him a hug and stuff. And I was like, jesus Christ. Back in our day, there is not a hope in hell. Any teacher would have been hugging us, telling us it was going to be okay. And also that your mom would be coming home to get you. My mom would be like, would you stop? She's fine.

A (13:20)

I was raised by nuns. They were like, you're fine and your mom has died in a car crash. You're staying in school.

B (13:26)

Yeah, exactly.

A (13:27)

There'd be no solace. Yeah, like, also, you're fast. Now get back to class. Okay, so love is blind as we know.

B (13:37)

Love is blind. They don't know each other.

A (13:40)

They don't know each other. They fall in love in the pods. Love is blind. They get engaged. Blah, blah, blah. Right? There was a couple on this season. It's still ongoing. Chris and Jessica. Chris is actually. What is Chris's job? He's kind of. They're calling him a victim with the manosphere. But Jessica is a doctor, right? So she's like a new or doctor or some sort of doctor. Who knows? All doctors are impressive except doctors of Greek and Roman civilization studies. Sorry. Anyway, they match. They get engaged. Jessica is stunning. Gorgeous, beautiful. He's grand. Jessica's mad about him. You can see Chris kind of considering other options in the pods that he maybe should have matched with. Didn't match with. Anyway, he then she's like, a couple of weeks pass, she says, I feel like you're kind of pulling away. He then says to her on the couch, he's like, look, I'm gonna be honest. And the show were kind of setting it up a little bit because they kept showing him working out and her, like, not working out and this, you know. Anyway, he's like, look, I'm gonna be honest. It's. I'm just used to dating women who do Pilates every day. Now, bearing in mind this lad is by no means ripped or jacked or any of the above. Like, he'.

B (14:52)

Br.

A (14:52)

You know, like, he's br. Like, fine. Like, average body. Like, not, you know, you know, he's not Arnold Schwarzenegger vibes. And she is like a beautiful, like.

B (15:02)

What's it called again? Love is blind. Love is.

A (15:04)

Love is.

B (15:05)

Okay.

A (15:06)

Love is cruel.

B (15:08)

Love is blind.

A (15:09)

Love is blind. And love is barbaric. And anyway, she has, like. I'm not even going to comment on her body because obviously I do feel I can comment on his, but not hers, because that's how I will. I'm a hypocritical feminist, but I would

B (15:22)

say they're kind of even. Stevens on the looks wise. Is that them? Yes.

A (15:26)

Oh, no, no, no, no.

B (15:27)

Now, side by side. Yes, yes, I agree. Side by side. She's hotter, but she's. If she's a 10, he's a 7.

A (15:34)

Like, so she is. And obviously the Internet erupted and because they're like the. The absolute neck go. The audacity of this incredibly average person. And her with her, like, medical doctor life, which is always impressive. I mean, always impressive. And he's like, I just Date when you go to Pilates every day, I eat, your body's not good enough for my needs and wants. And she went, I'm sorry, I can't do Pilates every day. I work in a hospital. And he's like, yeah. And I've been honest. I'm just being honest about what I need. I'm just being honest.

B (16:10)

Listen, even if he was a ride, a 10 out of 10 ride, even if he was a 10 out of 10 ride, there's still no reason for him to be getting involved in how she works out or how she does not work well.

A (16:20)

He's going, this is what I want. This is what I need. And of course, women all over the Internet are exploding because they're. It's so disappointing, I guess, for a woman who is highly intelligent, great work ethic, very accomplished, and that it come and looks fantastic and still comes down to some lag going, yeah, but you don't. Your body's not what I'd like it to be. You don't do Pilates every day. So now, of course, there's all these memes of women who do Pilates every day hiding under Pilates beds and trees in case he finds them. It's all very funny. It's all very funny. But she was absolutely heartbreaking and she was. And I never know with these shows,

B (16:59)

she was heartbroken so that they break up because of Pilates.

A (17:01)

Oh, well, I'm only up to the episode. It's just happened. And she's like, I'm out. Like, where do you go from there? You're basically saying, you don't find me attractive physically and you've humiliated me on TV as well.

B (17:12)

Get lost.

A (17:13)

But people are like, will Chris ever date again?

B (17:17)

His mother seen, have you seen those, have you seen those things on Instagram where like, the girl pretends that like, she's like, she'll be sitting there with the mother in law or something and she'll say to the, to the mother's son, do you mind if I eat this? Can I eat this sandwich? Like there's mayonnaise in it. And the mother's like, what? Like, she's so. She's just pretending that the son won't let her eat stuff. And the mom's like, Mom's like, oh my God, imagine what that mom's gonna be. Seen him say that.

A (17:44)

Yeah, yeah, yeah, I know. You'd be so disappointed, wouldn't you, in this in the same breath, like people are attracted to what they're attracted to. Like, I do understand that there's no getting away from that. Like I have a certain aesthetic that I like and all, but as. As in the same breath you're going on a TV show called Love is blind and suddenly your standard is a woman who does pilates every day and how that eclipses intelligence. Not that you can't be intelligent to Platters. You know the point I'm trying to make, it's just very, very disappointing. But also not a surprise. Notoriously superficial. Sorry. It's true. I would say I am personality focused Vogue. And I think you're personality focused as well. We are. We are personality.

B (18:29)

Have you seen this state of Spencer?

C (18:32)

I literally just walked across the back of your shot in his pants and he is. He is not.

A (18:38)

He is a minger. He's a minger.

B (18:40)

He's absolutely disgusting.

A (18:42)

Look at him asleep.

B (18:44)

Look at that six.

A (18:45)

Hideous, disgusting, lazy bastard. Why not a 12 pack, huh?

B (18:50)

What's he doing with this time? Not a lot. That's what I'll tell you. Okay, here's an email. Hey girlies and Joe, I'm writing this a couple of apparels deep after a night out and we're kind of going over do you remember what you did last night? Type of book.

A (19:07)

I don't like it. I don't enjoy it, I don't support.

B (19:10)

I don't think that's a good friend or it's a good partner. If anybody will ever say to you, do you remember what you did last night? Because if somebody doesn't remember, leave that.

A (19:18)

It's when they say it with the non blinking eyes. Last night as in like it comes. They're trying to pretend it's supportive, but you know they're about to annihilate your character.

B (19:28)

They've got that kind of downturned mouth as well. Do you ever do? No. I'm back in Dublin and headed to mother with a couple of hefty priests. Deep for those unfamiliar. It's a gay queer night with many layers. Dirty techno downstairs, pop, girlies upstairs. Choose your own adventure vibes.

A (19:45)

It's a great night, actually. It is.

B (19:47)

I'm a few points in. Yeah, me too. Yeah, I'm a few points in living my best life on the dance floor when suddenly a straight couple insert themselves into the middle of the floor and start aggressively shifting. That's kissing. Within minutes they relocate to one of the couches. Now let me paint the couch scene for you. It looked like they were attempting to start a small campfire using only friction. The dry humping was athletic.

A (20:19)

That's a great description.

B (20:21)

That dry humping is still a thing. Oh yeah. I haven't done that in years. I'd say.

A (20:29)

Yeah, let's get back into. I must add that to my needs on field.

B (20:35)

Let's start a fire together.

A (20:37)

No wet humping. I just. It'll only be dry for me. Thanks.

B (20:45)

With my bevy hat firmly on, I jokingly started hyping them up.

A (20:49)

Woo.

B (20:50)

Let's go straight people. And something along the lines of, come on, let's make a gay baby. They did not appreciate my commentary.

A (20:57)

Shocking.

B (20:58)

And I would laugh at that. And we ended up in a little exchange where you're in a gay bar.

A (21:03)

Like, what are you. Like what are you two straights doing it again? Like as in, like together. Anyway, sorry about. Continue.

B (21:09)

And we ended up in a little exchange where the woman said, this is a space for everyone. To which I swiftly replied, not for that. You can do that literally any pub. They looked uncomfortable. They left shortly after.

A (21:23)

Maybe I'm wrong. Maybe they should. Maybe they. Anyways, if I'll continue.

B (21:28)

At the time, I felt like a tiny gay Batman protecting the sacred streets of Dublin. But in the sober light of day, was I actually just being a bit of a dick? Did I judge too fast and ruin their fun? Should I have just let them vibe? Am I a prick or are queer spaces allowed to be for the queers and the girlies? Do the straights truly need one more dance floor too? Thanks. Love the butt. Now the problem is gay clubs are so much more fun. But the girl, everyone.

A (21:54)

But to be fair, the girlies in there are also straight. So I don't know what my response to this is. I would really need to think about this. I need to think about this.

B (22:02)

I think it's like, I would hate to be barred from gay bars. I love going to gay bars and I love like the George and everything like that. I'm not like, you just don't get that kind of buzz in a straight bar. I would prefer to go to a gay bar than a straight bar.

A (22:16)

Straight club. Straight club, yeah.

B (22:18)

Straight club or a straight bar?

A (22:19)

I. I don't, I don't know. Because I'm like a guy. Like a straight couple in a gay club. I. I don't know. I mean, look, I do agree with the woman getting dry ridden on the couch. It is. We should be allowed go in wherever we want if everyone's just having a good time and being positive in the same breath. I think gay clubs were set up because they didn't feel welcome in straight Clubs. So then it's like, what are the ethics? I don't know what the ethics are. You're also asking two straight women what the ethics are. It's.

B (22:46)

But I also. But I also think that I don't love watching people dry riding anyway. I like. I don't.

A (22:52)

I do.

B (22:53)

Do you? I don't want to watch that. I just.

A (22:56)

I see a lot of going on in clubs and even gigs of mine and stuff. And I'm like, I don't know. I think there's a bit of respect to dry riding. Get us all in the mood for free by watching someone else dry riding a club.

B (23:08)

Okay. Put that in your profile.

A (23:10)

Do you know what I mean? Yeah. It's like, you know, we can all watch. It's kind of horny and then. But everyone's locked. I'm your head to Domino's.

B (23:21)

I'd rather dry ride at home, to be honest. I'm gonna take it up. It's going to be my new hobby at home. Dry riding. I'm gonna text many now. Let's dry ride later and see what he says. Do you know I had a whole chapter in my book called dry riding.

A (23:33)

Did you? Yeah.

B (23:37)

Very good reading.

A (23:38)

I know.

B (23:39)

What was it about dry riding?

A (23:44)

It's a lost art form, I would say. And me and Vogue are old enough to remember before condoms were invented. So our only option was the dry ride.

B (23:52)

It was kind of my only thing to do because if I wasn't dry riding, they were going to try and feel my boobs and there were no boobs. So I had to just really concentrate on getting good at the dry riding, you know?

A (24:02)

Yes. Take a nipple in the inner calf. Distract them. I don't know if we've answered that question, but I will say if it makes this the listener emailer in feel any better. I know myself. After a couple of drinks, you could be a little bit sassy and then the next day you're like, was that sass or was I being a bit of a dick?

B (24:23)

And sometimes it's not your fault when you sometimes a little bit mean. You know what? Lease yourself reflecting so you're not a dick.

A (24:29)

Yeah. Alcohol melt. Melts down a bit of soundness and sometimes dials up the melt. That's. That'd be a great segment. Was it being sassy or a bit of a dick? That'd be a good segment, Joe, wouldn't it kind of like our attempt at wellness and support, supporting each other.

B (24:47)

Well, I don't support you because, you know what you on you're meant to go out tonight and you were saying it was raining, it stopped raining. And I looked at the weather earlier and it's not going to rain anymore.

A (24:56)

What's this attack?

B (24:57)

Enjoy your night. Okay. What's this attack one? Because I need to know what happens. I don't want to go that I'm invited. I'm not invited, but like go do something so I know about it.

A (25:08)

No, I've canceled.

B (25:10)

Oh God.

A (25:10)

It's the bad for me. And it's 4:44pm just so people know on a Friday evening.

B (25:16)

I'm gonna be in bed by 6:30. Don't care.

A (25:19)

Come next week it is go, go, go till June. So I'm.

B (25:23)

Where are you going? Are you going away?

A (25:25)

Going everywhere. I have America, Australia at the States. Then I have Australia. I have the last Olympia shows in Ireland.

B (25:32)

Favorite thing to do. You love it? I do love it. I do love it.

A (25:35)

Yeah. That's it for the bonus. We will see you on Friday for the main. As always, like and subscribe. We are on YouTube allegedly, aren't we?

B (25:50)

I have. I've seen very much.

A (25:51)

Yes, we're very much on that. And what else, folk?

B (25:55)

The vlog is also on YouTube. Come to the Brits at me at the vlog.

A (26:00)

Go to the Brits on the flow. I can't wait.

B (26:04)

Are you very excited? That's why you canceled the party? You want a preview?

A (26:20)

This has been a global player original production.