MTGM EXTRA! "Valuable travel information..."

Summary

Podcast Summary: "MTGM EXTRA! Valuable Travel Information..."

Episode Release Date: July 23, 2025
Hosts: Vogue Williams & Joanne McNally
Podcast Title: My Therapist Ghosted Me

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Introduction

In this bonus episode of My Therapist Ghosted Me, hosts Vogue Williams and Joanne McNally take listeners on a hilariously candid journey through their recent experiences, celebrity encounters, and some invaluable (and unconventional) travel tips. True to their show's description, Vogue and Joanne blend 100% honesty with their signature humor, offering unfiltered insights into their lives and the amusing mishaps they encounter.

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Mysterious Kitchen Mayhem

The episode kicks off with Vogue and Joanne discussing a perplexing incident involving a lawnmower appearing in Vogue's kitchen.

• Vogue Williams (00:14): "Joe has just spotted lawnmower out of the corner of my camera and he's identified it and I didn't even see it in real life."

The duo humorously debates whether it's a fly or a "flyo," leading to a playful exchange about suburban life and neighborly antics.

• Joanne McNally (00:38): "Does that just happen? Have you started exposing your arse crack now during the day as well?"

Their banter highlights the lighthearted nature of their relationship and sets the tone for the episode.

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Celebrity Encounters and Awkward Moments

Vogue and Joanne delve into their less-than-smooth interactions with celebrities at high-profile events like Glastonbury.

• Vogue Williams (09:01): "I had a similar... an embarrassing interaction with a celebrity at Glastonbury... I just walked by him like it was one of those, like, hi."

Joanne shares her own awkward experience, emphasizing the challenges of navigating fame and personal interactions.

• Joanne McNally (11:05): "When that happened to me with Deirdre... I really felt like I took a bit of power back once I unfollowed."

These stories are recounted with a blend of humor and relatability, making listeners empathize with their social mishaps.

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Navigating Travel: The Dubai Dilemma

Shifting gears, the hosts offer "valuable travel information" for Joanne's upcoming trip to Dubai, infused with their trademark wit.

• Joanne McNally (17:28): "You may or may not know that sex toys are illegal."

Vogue reacts with surprise, leading to a discussion about the strict laws and social norms in Dubai.

• Vogue Williams (18:05): "Bring the airline. Yeah, I don't need the 60 kgs anymore."

Joanne shares a personal anecdote about ordering a lactation massager from Amazon, only to have it inadvertently showcased in her conservative neighborhood.

• Joanne McNally (18:34): "I was super happy when I ordered my lactation massager on time... it had seven vibration modes."

The conversation humorously underscores the cultural differences and the importance of being aware of local laws when traveling.

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Comedic Chemistry and Shared Laughter

Throughout the episode, the chemistry between Vogue and Joanne is palpable, with their ability to turn awkward and potentially embarrassing situations into comedic gold.

• Vogue Williams (16:40): "She wouldn't even spank me. Do you remember? You wouldn't even spank me properly."

• Joanne McNally (16:52): "You're a soundproof sleeper. I know. You're like, you know, you're like, the rhythm's quickening."

Their playful teasing and mutual jokes keep the conversation lively and engaging, showcasing their strong rapport.

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Notable Quotes

• Vogue Williams (07:44): "I think, to me, that reeks of sexual tension, if you don't mind me saying."

• Joanne McNally (13:34): "I've never been so insulted by a dick pic in my life."

• Vogue Williams (15:00): "It wouldn't kill you to sell a Story about me now wouldn't kill you."

These quotes highlight the hosts' candid and humorous approach to discussing personal and sometimes risqué topics.

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Concluding Antics and Future Plans

As the episode wraps up, Vogue and Joanne tease future content, including potential deep dives into celebrity stories and more outrageous anecdotes.

• Joanne McNally (25:06): "We look forward to the documentary. And I can put you in touch with the embassy in Dubai if you'd like."

• Vogue Williams (25:18): "Come on. Yeah. Yeah. I'll have to know because you refuse to sell stories, so I'll have to do something big."

Their playful banter leaves listeners anticipating more entertaining episodes filled with honesty, laughter, and unfiltered advice.

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Conclusion

This bonus episode of My Therapist Ghosted Me serves as a testament to Vogue Williams and Joanne McNally's ability to transform everyday mishaps and awkward moments into engaging and humorous content. Whether they're navigating mysterious lawnmowers in kitchens or offering unconventional travel tips for Dubai, their authentic and lighthearted approach makes for an entertaining listen. For those who enjoy candid conversations sprinkled with laughter and relatable anecdotes, this episode is a delightful addition to their podcast series.

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Transcript

[Vogue Williams]

This is a Global Player original podcast.

[Joanne McNally]

Hello, and welcome to the bonus episode of My Therapist Ghosted Me with me.

[Vogue Williams]

Vogue Williams and her teammate extraordinaire, Joanne McNally. Joe has just spotted lawnmower out of the corner of my camera and he's identified it and I didn't even see it in real life. And I've been in the kitchen for 48 hours. You are such a dad, Jo. This is insane.

[John]

Tell me if it's a fly.

[Vogue Williams]

Does that just happen? Have you started. Have you started exposing your arse crack now during the day as well?

[Joanne McNally]

John, You've probably walked around that lawnmower in your kitchen and not.

[Vogue Williams]

Didn't even know what it was. I could be mowing the lawn and I wouldn't know what I was doing.

[John]

I was always a dad. I'm just only recently a father.

[Vogue Williams]

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. That's. So is it.

[John]

You got to look. You have to look at it for me, though. Is it a flyo?

[Vogue Williams]

Is it a flyo? Is it a fly? Hold on a second. Where would I find that information?

[Joanne McNally]

You know what my toxic. My toxic trait is that I'm like. I wonder how much a flyo is heavily branded.

[Vogue Williams]

It's a. It's. It's a lawn marriage out. Come on now.

[Joanne McNally]

It's a Black and Decker.

[Vogue Williams]

It's not even. I don't know why she. I don't. Do you know what's so interesting? I've just realized. I don't. She had. There isn't a bit of grass in this whole ice or garden.

[Joanne McNally]

She.

[Vogue Williams]

I have absolutely no idea why she.

[John]

Has us might be contracting.

[Vogue Williams]

That means she's cutting other people's gr. That means she's out in the culdesac. Dragging that across the front. You know, the front bit of grass out the.

[John]

That's worth money.

[Vogue Williams]

Oh, my God.

[Joanne McNally]

Being a kind neighbor.

[Vogue Williams]

Is she doing like a paper round for like. But with cutting grass? What do they call that? A lawn mower round? What do they call it?

[Joanne McNally]

Local handy bubba job. A bubba job. Did you never go around. We used to go around to neighbors in our estate, ask if they needed any bubba jobs.

[Vogue Williams]

Yeah. Used to sing when they'd open the door and then put our hand out. Put our little hand out for cash. Imagine the arrogance of that. They'd open the door and we would just g. Like. We would just start singing. We just like splatter going. It's not terrible. And then we just put our hand out.

[Joanne McNally]

They. They tell you to off. Where I was from. I Wasn't from K. From the block.

[Vogue Williams]

Yeah. You're from the block out there in. How.

[Joanne McNally]

Yeah, it's before I moved to H. Before. No, it's before I moved to H. Thank you. Come here to me. I think I have secured. I think it's not 100 sure. I might have secured Spencer and Oasis ticket. The only. The only. The only fault is that he'll be on his own.

[Vogue Williams]

Oh, my God.

[Joanne McNally]

Anyone would want to swap Rose with Spencer.

[Vogue Williams]

Do you know what? There's a lot I do on my own and I think I am quite an independent person, but I don't know if I'd go to an Oasis concert on my own.

[Joanne McNally]

I'd go. I'd go to every single Oasis concert on my own. I wouldn't care. I would. I wouldn't need anyone. I Jo. Have just found out I know somebody who is working on the Oasis tour. That's not how I got the ticket. By the way. One of my best friends has an insider on the tour. I. And she didn't tell me. I was. Excuse me.

[Vogue Williams]

Well, hold on. What's she doing now? Is it styling? Is she doing.

[Joanne McNally]

Yeah, proper like. She's proper in there. Like. There is a chance.

[Vogue Williams]

Well, apparently. Well, what do you. What. What are you suggesting? That you might get to touch them in the real world?

[Joanne McNally]

Yeah, I just want to touch them. I want to touch. I won't. I won't say anything. They don't like to be spoken to. I'm fine with that. I would just like to gently touch Liam. Liam. Obviously, I don't give a about. No, he ignored me.

[Vogue Williams]

I thought about. I forgot you're fighting. I forgot you're in a celebrity spot with. No, I called him. No, Edmonds.

[Joanne McNally]

You know. Do you know who hates.

[Vogue Williams]

Sorry, I forgot. I'm fighting with no Evans. Ever since he set up that animal show and didn't give me a gig on it. Remember he set up the animal radio show?

[Joanne McNally]

No, no one remembers that.

[John]

Dogs wouldn't it.

[Vogue Williams]

He. And remember, we did it. I think we definitely discussed it on the pop before, where he set up. Because he's as mad as a box of spanners. And he set up a business where he'll ring your animal and kind of talk them through if they're having a bit of a bad day and he's, you know, he's away with the fairies. I think he's a bit of a tinfoil hat man. I think there's a bang of Jim Carr off him.

[Joanne McNally]

If there is anyone in the world. Neil Wilson Cannot stand, like absolutely for no reason to spice Noel heads. And the worst, the worst thing about it is that I. And I don't know if Neil's noticed it, but they look very similar. The same.

[Vogue Williams]

I've studied Neil's face because me and Neil always end up sitting beside each other at events and I don't see any similarity there.

[Joanne McNally]

Anyway, Google it. I swear to God. I really. I just found it so peculiar because he doesn't like him so much that then I was like, acting.

[Vogue Williams]

He's projecting. Why the disdain from Neil towards Noel Edmonds? Is it the cancer thing?

[Joanne McNally]

There is certain notes, remember the things that are unexplained. Yeah, that's the cancer thing. Don't tell him about the cancer thing. That will send him off the edge, whatever that is.

[Vogue Williams]

Remember he went on this morning and he was basically like, you know, if you have a positive, you know that the one of the ways to catch cancer is to kind of have a negative outlook. Do you remember this? He's one of those. Yeah, he's like, chin up, you know, who needs chemo? Just, you know, take a brisk walk in nature. Eat buttercups. He's one of those. Yeah.

[Joanne McNally]

I don't even think Neil knows any of those things.

[John]

For what you say is the greatest physical comedian of all time.

[Vogue Williams]

He is. Yeah. But I don't know how much he had to do with Mr. Blobby. I don't think Mr. Blobby was his brainchild.

[John]

Oh, maybe not. Maybe they just collaborated.

[Vogue Williams]

Yeah, I. I have a feeling. I think he got lucky and I think he. I think he actually had it. I don't think he. If memory serves me correctly, I don't think he likes working with Sir Blobby, as I call him. I call him Sir Blobby because he hasn't been knighted. And I believe that's because he's a minority.

[Joanne McNally]

You're the reason I'm being held back in tv. Go some kind of suit and make it happen for me. Get some kind of suit and dress up and don't say anything. You're right.

[Vogue Williams]

You know, you're right. I need to be. I need to be more side kicky. I do. I need to be.

[Joanne McNally]

Yeah, I want her in a suit, Joe. Blue. Blue suit her.

[Vogue Williams]

Do you know what I was only thinking the other day? I was like, I don't wear enough wigs.

[Joanne McNally]

I was actually. That kept me up last night. I said to myself last night I said, jesus Christ, Joanna doesn't wear enough wigs. And then I couldn't Sleep a wink.

[Vogue Williams]

Yeah, I don't wear, I don't, I don't take advantage of the, the comedy of wigs. Enough.

[Joanne McNally]

You. Too much hair. You wouldn't, you wouldn't be able to hide your hair.

[Vogue Williams]

I'd have to, I'd have to shave it. Yeah, I'd have to shave it because when I was at our mutual friend Martin's 40th in Puglia, there was a kind of a Princess Diana wig going around and everyone had a go of it except myself. It's one of my biggest regrets. And the photos are still floating around the WhatsApp group and they. Every single one of them is hysterical. And there must be 50, 60 photos of people in that wig. And every single photo is, Is comical. And I said to myself, joanne, you need to get up. You need to up your wig game.

[Joanne McNally]

Back to no Gunner. So, yeah, I'm, I'm, I'm going to feel uncomfortable going to the Oasis gig, obviously, because me and Noah had a huge falling out when he ignored me at Glastonbury. When I said, what A little. I had plucked up the courage to say hello to him and it wasn't like there wasn't really many people around. I just walked by him like it was one of those, like, hi. And I mean, he's no Gallagher. So actually, that was a compliment that he ignored me because if he was nice, it would have been weird and probably would have ruined the vibe. But now I don't know how we're going to. When he's on stage, when he sees.

[Vogue Williams]

Me, I think, to me, that reeks of sexual tension, if you don't mind me saying. My experience is the more a man ignores you, the, the more a man ignores you, the more he wants to ride. Just stupid.

[Joanne McNally]

Are you telling me he wants to marry me?

[Vogue Williams]

Yes. Oh, no, no, no. I, I, I, I don't know if. Is he the mar. Is he not divorced? I don't. Look, I am saying he got divorced.

[Joanne McNally]

He'S single, he is divorced. Liam, who I would have had my sights on. He is not singles.

[Vogue Williams]

I'd say. No, I'd say now to give you one. And he was embarrassed. That's the way I look at life. I walk out to my door every day and say, all these lads, they're all ignoring me because they want to ride me. Stupid.

[Joanne McNally]

Oh, are you saying he was intimidated by me? Yep, I am, thank you very much.

[Vogue Williams]

He's not as hard as you think he is. You know, he's off, he's off the Gear now. So he's probably, you know, more kind of trying to work through his feelings.

[Joanne McNally]

Yeah, it was either. He's not. He was either deeply intimidated by me or he really just had a disdain for me. Yeah, we'll never know.

[Vogue Williams]

We never know. And you know what? It's none of our business.

[Joanne McNally]

It's none of my business. And I'm. I'm willing to let bygones be bygones. I'm going to his gig. Yeah, of course. Put off when he spots me.

[Vogue Williams]

He needs to support. He needs to support. God love them.

[Joanne McNally]

I didn't let them down. I couldn't.

[Vogue Williams]

God love them. Yeah.

[Joanne McNally]

It's not, it's not Liam's fault. Me and elder fighting.

[Vogue Williams]

I had, I had a similar. I had a run in with the. With not a run in but I had a, A kind of embarrassing interaction, I would say with. With a celebrity at Glastonbury who I in my half cut state on my Craig Davids because we have mutual friends. Kind of in my head assumed because often in the business you kind of just know other people in who are similar floating around at the same level do you know? You just do. It's just kind of general osmosis. And I, and she, she actually walked towards me. I was at the bar. I didn't, I didn't kind of like shouldn't actually like throw myself across the tent to her. But it. Because I was like, ahai, let's call her Margaret. I said, margaret, hi. And well, even Margaret was not up for the chats. My God. I. It was like. It was, you know, it was very much. It was like if you'd tried to touch Harry Styles, she'd no bouncer but she acted like she was her own. Like, she just kind of gave me this insane like smile of very much. You're like, you know, no. And then just kind of touched my hand and just gently pushed me away from her. It was, it was actually so, you know, it's something so embarrassing. It's immediately funny. Like it's not even. You don't even have to wait. Usually comedy is tragedy plus time, blah, blah, blah. This was instantly hilarious. It was like I was trying to score her. It was like I was trying to grab her breasts. It was like I was trying to jocker. Like, even if I was. Did you grop her A fan? Just coming up as a fan. I am a fan of her. I am a fan of Margaret. Anyway, it was quite. The computer says no moment. It was, it was quite something. And then I acted it out for Vogue a couple of times after because I had to really demonstrate the smile because it was.

[Joanne McNally]

It wasn't great.

[Vogue Williams]

It was. Yeah, I was pretty bad. I was certainly put back in my box, I can tell you.

[Joanne McNally]

I know. And then it kind of puts you off people. Like when I. When that happened to me with Deirdre at Glastonbury. Remember I told you about her and.

[Vogue Williams]

I was going using fake names. Yeah.

[Joanne McNally]

I was a big fan and I was like, I really loved your work on something. And Deirdre was not kind to me.

[Vogue Williams]

No.

[Joanne McNally]

Oh, my God, Deirdre. As soon as I turned around, I was like, I am unfollowing you, Deirdre. You don't know what hit you.

[Vogue Williams]

Yeah.

[Joanne McNally]

Is it?

[Vogue Williams]

I know.

[Joanne McNally]

And I really felt like I took a bit of power back. A bit of the embarrassment went away once I unfollowed.

[Vogue Williams]

Yeah. Because you're like, I'm not your groupie anymore, you know? Did you follow your humiliated me? You've humiliated me in front of my close friends and family. In hindsight, I mean, it was. It was like 4am in, like the Arcadia area in Glastonbury. I probably had six eyes. You know what I mean? Like, it was their long days in Glastonbury.

[Joanne McNally]

Who knows?

[Vogue Williams]

First, if only I could see through her eyes what was coming towards her. You know what I mean? I mean, they say there's three sides to every story. There's yours, there's there and then there's the truth. And, yeah, I'd say Margaret is off saying that nut job tried to rugby tackle me at Annie Mack in Arcadia.

[Joanne McNally]

When I'm saying Deirdre, it was obviously not dear to. Okay. Because she's a complete legend and we love the sounds of her.

[Vogue Williams]

We just aren't. We don't. There's no point. We don't use real names because, like, why would you.

[Joanne McNally]

If anyone asked me, I'll tell you in real life.

[Vogue Williams]

Yeah, yeah, of course. Yeah, yeah.

[Joanne McNally]

Particularly after a couple of drinks you'd want to give. I'll give you Joanne's number as well.

[Vogue Williams]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Add them to the WhatsApp group. Any girl who catches me after a show, she catches me at the back having a cigarette after a show. And I'll tell them anything, anything. Anything at all. Yeah. Two drinks. I'm anyone's. Yeah.

[Joanne McNally]

Perfect.

[Vogue Williams]

Folk. This is only the bonus. I know we don't have time, but I. On the main. We need to get to the bottom of the Conor McGregor's dick pics to Was Elia Banks, the couple that you sent me who were cheating, of course. Cheating on the jumbo monitor. Coldplay. I would also like to discuss JoJo Siwa and her pivot into tradwifery with that mental cover of Betty Davis Eyes. I've never heard anything like it. And I'm convinced now. She is just here for the rage base.

[Joanne McNally]

Clear your throat like three times a week. Joanne sends just JoJo Siwa into the group and we haven't done it yet. We have to.

[Vogue Williams]

Okay. She's a marketing. She's a marketing genius is what she is. And it needs to be discussed.

[Joanne McNally]

I've never been so insulted by a dick pic in my life, by the way. I honestly, that was. If I on he is the last dick I would like to see on earth. Of all the dicks in the whole of the earth. We'll talk about that on the main Hard hitting pod.

[Vogue Williams]

Hard hitting news. That's all we deal with. Focus. Well, you know, we're the news agents. I'm actually surprised we haven't been asked to cover them. Yeah.

[Joanne McNally]

Tell me mate list to watch your back. Joanne's coming for.

[Vogue Williams]

Yeah. Does Emily know? I don't much about JoJo Siwa. Has she talked about that? They just. Have they covered that in the. On the news agents.

[Joanne McNally]

I think John Soffel does that kind of stuff. He does more of the like the.

[Vogue Williams]

Yeah.

[Joanne McNally]

Vibes.

[Vogue Williams]

Yeah.

[Joanne McNally]

Emily would cover Connor, I'd say though.

[Vogue Williams]

Yeah.

[Joanne McNally]

And the dick pics.

[Vogue Williams]

I wouldn't mind doing a little celebrity section after they kind of, you know, dig through the Middle East. Then I could just pop in with a little a lightner about JoJo Siwa. It's all lies. I also don't think she's actually going out with that quite Christopher Watts's face either. I think it's all a setup. I think it's. It's all a PR stunt. I think it's all.

[Joanne McNally]

Do you know what, though? There is so much. I have to say, there is so much nonsense in the industry that we're in. We are just on the sides of it. Like that's probably why all the famous people are ignoring us.

[Vogue Williams]

Oh, we're scum. Yeah. Of course we know that.

[Joanne McNally]

But we're on the sides of it. But I hear of all the. And I know when certain things come out of a people in the press, there are other people that could be behind it, pushing it because they're trying to hide something of their own.

[Vogue Williams]

Yeah. So yes, Vogue. It wouldn't kill you to sell a Story about me now wouldn't kill you. Have a tour coming up and like, it wouldn't kill you. Love a bit of cash. You're well connected. It wouldn't kill you to sell a story.

[Joanne McNally]

You don't know the pictures I found from you of Glastonbury. Good.

[Vogue Williams]

Yeah. Come on. Whatever those photos are, Vogue, I'd thoroughly. I'd encourage you, in fact, I beg you to sell them and they will use the money and go to Sushi Samba.

[Joanne McNally]

Well, I'd love to go back to sushi.

[Vogue Williams]

Yeah.

[Joanne McNally]

We'll order as many cocktails as we want.

[Vogue Williams]

Yeah.

[Joanne McNally]

You know those naked. The naked pictures you send for approval? They're going out.

[Vogue Williams]

The photo of me trying to take in the vitamin D through my anus. What is the thing that the wellness celebrities do?

[Joanne McNally]

Ask glaring or something?

[Vogue Williams]

Something like that.

[Joanne McNally]

Yeah, there is. It's a real thing. They tried to make us. They tried to make me and Joanne do that on a show together. They did our up to the sun and then we both said we wouldn't do it. And then I said I'd pretend to do it because as you know, you can pay me to do anything.

[Vogue Williams]

I was like, vogue, no, you're not doing it. I said, stop offering her more money. She's not doing it. Folk. Get up.

[Joanne McNally]

17 year old, 50, done.

[Vogue Williams]

She wouldn't even spank me. Do you remember? You wouldn't even spank me properly.

[Joanne McNally]

No, I didn't like spanking. No, I just didn't.

[Vogue Williams]

They were trying to get us to ride ultimately, weren't they?

[Joanne McNally]

It started off with like, pawn away themselves in a room. We're like, no. Like, no. Who does that?

[Vogue Williams]

That's why we didn't. That's why it didn't get made. They're like, these two frigid Irish aren't going to do anything we want them to do.

[Joanne McNally]

You know, I've had loads of people, loads of friends of mine have had sex in the same room as me. When I'm there, like, I'm probably. I've only been awake for one of them. Awake with my earplugs and eye mask on, waiting for it to finish.

[Vogue Williams]

You're a soundproof sleeper. I know. You're like, you know, you're like, the rhythm's quickening. You're like, come on, lads, come on. You know what I mean?

[Joanne McNally]

Moving along. I gotta go to the toilet.

[Vogue Williams]

I'll throw in some dirty chat myself, just to keep account.

[Joanne McNally]

Hello, Joanne. Vogue and Joe. It's been a long time.

[Vogue Williams]

Oh, did you have that on yourself, Joan.

[Joanne McNally]

No, I didn't.

[Vogue Williams]

Thank you.

[Joanne McNally]

Shut up, you. You've been campaigning for Joe to have a camera.

[Vogue Williams]

I did think we should mic him because it is annoying when he's kind of muffling away. Off.

[Joanne McNally]

Off.

[Vogue Williams]

Mike.

[Joanne McNally]

You should. Mike. And if you're getting a camera, you have to get a light. Come on. I've been a long time listener of the pod and have had this story saved up for a while, but this week I booked to see Joanne in Dubai again.

[Vogue Williams]

Brilliant.

[Joanne McNally]

So I thought it's time to share some valuable travel information for her upcoming trip.

[Vogue Williams]

Okay.

[Joanne McNally]

Oh my God. Oh, God. Huge one.

[Vogue Williams]

Oh, God.

[Joanne McNally]

I'd say you've left a decent scattering of these in Dubai already. You may or may not know that sex toys are illegal.

[Vogue Williams]

I did not know that.

[John]

Probably best.

[Joanne McNally]

Yeah. Isn't it? What are you gonna do with your hands? You can't bring those hands in with you.

[Vogue Williams]

Bring the airline. Yeah, I don't need the 60 kgs anymore.

[John]

Carry on.

[Vogue Williams]

Yeah, no, yeah, carry on will be fine. Thank you.

[Joanne McNally]

And I've. I've heard one too many stories of women having to reveal their toys at the airport to Arab men in police uniforms to ever consider bringing one here myself.

[Vogue Williams]

Oh.

[Joanne McNally]

However, this story took place when I was pregnant with my third child. And like Vogue, I get an insatiable horn. Horn. When impregnated.

[Vogue Williams]

Vogue. Everyone fancies me, Williams.

[Joanne McNally]

Oh, I'm a fuego. Because my husband works away a lot, I had no choice but to take my chances and attempt to procure some electronic assistance. Luckily, the Amazon sellers here have creatively named such items here so they can be sold to the masses and delivered next day, including calling them lactation. Lactation massagers. And despite them being intimately shaped and bright pink in color, they seem to be getting away with it. There you go. So it goes on. Don't worry. I was super happy when I ordered my lactation massager on time. And when I got.

[Vogue Williams]

Very clever.

[Joanne McNally]

And when I got the delivery notification, I thought nothing of it and resolved to have an evening with myself when I got home from work.

[Vogue Williams]

Oh, okay.

[Joanne McNally]

That was until a few hours later when I checked the notification to see that the delivery driver had left the box on my doorstep. And to my horror, it was in the original box with another packaging. The one time Amazon don't over package something. Oh my God. In full view of my very conservative neighborhood is my not so discreetly disguised lactation massager, complete with seven vibration modes and varying speeds for maximum milk production, of course. Oh, no. I Couldn't get out of the office quick enough. And my heart sank when I was. It wasn't on my doorstep by the time I got there and that my cleaner had not only brought it inside for me, but. But helpfully left it on my bedside table.

[Vogue Williams]

Oh, dear God.

[Joanne McNally]

Cue me frantically trying to explain that I was planning to breastfeed and wanted to stimulate my milk at four months pregnant.

[Vogue Williams]

Oh, no.

[Joanne McNally]

Oh, no.

[Vogue Williams]

Well, the nipples are kind of like clits, so this all makes sense to me. That's it. Like, to be honest, especially she's. I'm surprised she wasn't dragged out of the place and locked up. I would know that I'd even be embarrassed having that come through the door. Even in London. Do you know what I mean? Because women's. Women are. We're taught to be ashamed of our own pleasure.

[Joanne McNally]

Well, do you know what has. Do you know what I realized? You know, the way we're trying to sell our apartment and we had viewers over and like, just people coming in and out of their house. Spenny's dressing room. I never really go in there. There's nothing I want in there, so I'm not usually in there. And I went in after. Let's say we've done like. Oh, God, seven or eight viewings on the ground. And he did Job Would with love, honey this. Job with love honey this. Like. And they were like. They gave all this stuff for me. But remember, I was meant to give you one of. It was like a selection box and then maybe about 12 other dildos all stacked on the floor in his dressing room. They must be like these.

[Vogue Williams]

Does he know what they are?

[Joanne McNally]

Weirdos. No, I gave away. Now you're taking too long to pick them up. I gave away. Don't you.

[Vogue Williams]

No, don't you dare.

[Joanne McNally]

Folks, selection box is gone. There's about six devices there for you, and you can leave them wherever you like at your pleasure.

[Vogue Williams]

Thank you. Because I'm sick and tired of using my toothbrush. But this is good. Now, I'm glad you told me that about Dubai. Although I don't know when I get the chance to even go near myself over there. It's going to be a very tightly scheduled day, but thank you for the tip. If I don't. If I don't turn up for the second show. No, I have been arrested for having a go myself in the green room.

[Joanne McNally]

It's a bit odd that that would be one of the things that they have over there, but there's so many people moving over there. I'm like, I heard that, like. Yeah, I know, but I heard that, like, other stuff is. Is on the rise in Dubai, so I'm surprised I even give it.

[Vogue Williams]

Once you get in there, it's. Everything is everywhere as the same as it is in all countries. It's just underground. You have to find us, do you know what I mean? There's probably like sex shops and all sorts. In fact, I'll Google it.

[Joanne McNally]

Find yourself a sex dungeon somewhere.

[Vogue Williams]

Perfect. It'll be my. It'll be my version of Joanne McNally undercover. Like when Phil Mitchell did it. You remember?

[Joanne McNally]

Oh, no, that's Grant Mitchell. No.

[John]

Yes. That's Ross Kemp.

[Joanne McNally]

Ross Grant.

[Vogue Williams]

Yeah, yeah. Like the way Ross Camp went into Afghanistan. I'll be in wearing very similar. Yeah. Going in blind.

[Joanne McNally]

Vibrators, you know, I had Adam K. I'll never live it down. This week is absolutely brilliant. And he used to work as a doctor and he was telling me that, like, people would obviously come in with things stuck up there. Horace. And he said once someone came in and they had all these burns up in their rectum, like all light bulb dots, they'd put Christmas tree lights up there and turn them on, I swear. And then he told me that one guy came in and he was like. And sometimes he was like. Because they always had an excuse, so sometimes he said that he would believe them. And this guy came in and said that like. Like he was naked after a shower and he sat on the remote on the couch and it went up and then when they took it out, it had a condom on it.

[Vogue Williams]

Oh, my gosh. You know what's gas? I guarantee if he's straight, I guarantee trying to get a condom on him in a, in a, in a casual one night stand situation is hell. But yet he'll wear one on a remote control, riding himself. Do you know what I mean? The amount of entire. Yeah, yeah, yeah, of course. Because it's his own safety, then it's his own sexual health. Trying to get a condom on a man. It's like trying to get a snake out of a basket, like whistling them away. Come on, come on, come on, shimmy into that there. People are obsessed with sticking stuff in. This is my, my biggest fear is that that comes from boredom of living alone. That's my biggest fear, that some night I'll have to ring in six the podcast because I'm an A E because there's a box of cereal up my arse or something because I just got bored one night.

[Joanne McNally]

I know. I think some people are just ingrained in them. He said one the most damage that was ever caused was someone came in with a toilet brush up their arse.

[Vogue Williams]

Yeah.

[Joanne McNally]

The wrong way up, like.

[Vogue Williams]

And to try and get that. Oh, God.

[Joanne McNally]

Okay. And on that note, you know what?

[Vogue Williams]

That's because the G spots up the ass. Isn't that what that is, Joe?

[Joanne McNally]

Toilet brush, like. He must have started with a 2 desperation.

[Vogue Williams]

Something happened. Yeah. Thank you for the travel tips.

[Joanne McNally]

Thank you. Yeah, that's very.

[Vogue Williams]

Yeah.

[Joanne McNally]

We look forward to the documentary. And I can put you in touch with the embassy in Dubai if you'd like. I'll be in touch to be a part of that.

[Vogue Williams]

I'll be tunneling into sex chops dressed in full combat gear with, like, a hard hot knot.

[John]

We can post your bail when you get arrested.

[Vogue Williams]

That'd be good. That'd be good crack now, wouldn't it? That'd be good content.

[Joanne McNally]

Yeah. Do something for the pod for.

[Vogue Williams]

Yeah. Come on. Yeah. Yeah. I'll have to know because you refuse to sell stories, so I'll have to do something big.