Transcript

A (0:02)

This is a Global Player original podcast. Hello, welcome to. My therapist ghosted me with myself, Joanne McNally and Vogue Williams and Joe Ashywell.

B (0:26)

Hello, Hello, Here we. Here we are, listeners. You are lucky you don't have to deal with what we have to deal with. As goes a ladder outside. You want. This is the fantastic.

A (0:41)

There was a, There was a little, there was a little double booking around the time the podcast used to be recorded from my personal private home. There was an electrician booked to drill lights into all the walls. But look. Thanks, Ali. He's just left. The house is lit. Lit to the title.

B (0:58)

No. Well, it's actually not lit because Joanna didn't know she had to buy light bulbs. So that was the second part.

A (1:02)

Well, no, no one tells me how many times it's. There's a potential. There's a potential. There's a potential to be lit when it gets dark, Vogue. And as it happens, it's still daytime, so.

B (1:17)

Haha. Okay, off you go to Tesco to get your balls and you won't know which ones to get because I know you.

A (1:25)

Well, actually, Vogue, I'm, I'm, I'm going down a hipster road, so I'm just going to work by candlelight from now on.

B (1:31)

Oh, sustainable. Joanne's back.

A (1:33)

Yes. Yeah, I get the cow into the flat, gonna milk it for my oat milk. I'm doing it all myself from now on.

B (1:39)

Yeah, well, cows don't produce oat milk, but I.

A (1:41)

Okay, what would you know, Vogue? You've never even met a cow.

B (1:45)

I. Excuse me, I have eaten a lot of K's, I'd say. That's not me. An entire cow.

A (1:52)

That's not meat in my mouth. That's not meeting them, that's eating them.

B (1:58)

I didn't meet him.

A (1:58)

I eat them, I don't meet them. And Vogue, you're not, you're not in great form yourself. Were I to bat it back while we were going through the horror of my electrics, folks said she, and I quote, can't cope with this shit and left the laptop to go on photos. Am I? Is that right? And Joe, while I'm. While I'm at it, Joe, you're not looking too rightly yourself. And we're a little bit moody, a little short with me about the Camry.

Summary

My Therapist Ghosted Me

Episode: Oasis Afterparty, 5am Jolt & Good Journalism

Hosts: Joanne McNally & Vogue Williams
Date: August 22, 2025

Episode Overview

This week's episode sees Joanne and Vogue at their irreverent, relatable best, chatting candidly about chaotic travel schedules, hotel mishaps (including an accidental Dyson theft), adventures at an Oasis afterparty, the art of surviving parties, and the highs and lows of being written about in the press. Expect trademark laughs, stories of poor sleep, “hard” party secrets, musings on celebrity weddings, and honest recommendations—plus an iconic take on the state of British journalism.

Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Domestic Chaos & Candlelit Revolution (00:26–02:00)

Lightbulb Woes & Hipster Living:
Joanne recounts her ongoing battle with electricians and light fixtures, joking about working by candlelight because she forgot to buy bulbs. Vogue quips about Joanne's new sustainable lifestyle and how she's milking cows for oat milk, to which Joanne retorts:

“What would you know, Vogue? You’ve never even met a cow.” (01:41, Joanne)
Running Jokes:
The spirit of the segment is lighthearted ribbing about adulting and misguided sustainability.

2. The Anxiety of Travel & a 5am Wake-Up Call (02:37–04:34)

Vogue’s Insane Itinerary:
Vogue describes her whirlwind trip—Dublin, London, Nottingham, Edinburgh, "all in about 32 hours"—and the resulting exhaustion.
The 5am Jolt:
After finally getting into bed, Vogue is mistakenly woken at 5am by a frantic taxi driver, causing panic and a lost day of sleep.

“I felt like crying all day long.” (04:34, Vogue)

3. Accidental Dyson Theft at the Leicester (04:34–08:47)

Filming at a Glam Hotel:
The pair describe filming content at Dublin's Leicester Hotel, getting lost in the glam and fixating on the décor (“the best martini I’ve ever had”).
The Theft:
Joanne accidentally packs up a Dyson hair tool belonging to the hotel, not realizing it until much later.

“Basically, I lifted the Dyson out of the Leinster ... I did return the Dyson and all’s well that ends well.” (08:34, Joanne)
On Temptation & Hotel Luxury:
Light-hearted speculation about what else they could have “borrowed” from the hotel—automatic toilets, wallpaper, lightbulbs—ensues.

4. Oasis Afterparty & Getting Kicked Out at Dawn (10:03–16:36)

The After-Afterparty:
Joanne recounts attending the Oasis afterparty at O'Donoghue's. While there’s social media buzz about her “inside info,” the actual experience was more subdued:

“I’d love to tell you I was in doing poppers with Richard Ashcroft ... but I wasn’t.” (11:34, Joanne)
Making Up Tabloid Magic:
The hosts riff on how they could spin wild stories ("I dry-humped Noel Gallagher so much there’s a hole in my tights").
Staying ’Til Sunrise:
Joanne is the last to leave the afterparty, finding herself with a mystery family of four and getting gently shooed by the bartender:

“His eyes were like, bleeding. He went, ‘Yes, please [leave].’” (14:12, Joanne)
Celebrity Encounters:
Joanne name-drops Roisin Conaty and Laura Whitmore, emphasizing she was “hobnobbing” rather than wallflowering.

5. Festival Survival and the Art of the Queue (16:54–18:13)

Gig Protocols:
Vogue details her hard-won festival wisdom: always bring your own toilet paper and, if possible, vodka stashed to avoid long bar queues.
- Both share stories about aggressive fans in queues (one transition from threatening to friendly photo-requester in minutes).

6. Party Prep & Gift-Giving Anxiety (18:13–22:21)

Birthday Nerves:
Vogue is preparing for her big party, feeling overwhelmed but determined to keep the event tame and neighbor-friendly.
The Art of Getting Presents:
Joanne admits to planning an especially thoughtful gift, deriding her own history of last-minute presents.

7. On Iconic Weddings: Saoirse Monica Jackson’s Nuptials (22:29–25:56)

Ultimate Wedding Inspiration:
Vogue and Joanne rave over actress Saoirse Monica Jackson’s wedding, waxing lyrical about its “iconic,” “90s punk” styling—and noting their own legendary resemblance.

“She has rebranded marriage to me as something deadly.” (24:06, Joanne)
Big vs. Small Weddings:
Both express admiration for personalized, cool, and authentic wedding celebrations.

8. Soho Farmhouse & the Price of Bougie Living (25:56–28:13)

Luxury Retrospective:
The hosts reflect on Soho Farmhouse’s exclusivity—its price, party atmosphere, and strict photo rules. Joanne’s brief consideration of a “writer’s retreat” is nixed by the cost.
Notable Quote:

“I didn’t realize I was trying to buy the Cotswolds.” (26:43, Joanne)

9. Tabloid Tales & Good Journalism (29:40–34:34)

Molly Mae 'Cat Fight' Story:
Vogue gleefully explains a hilarious, totally manufactured Daily Mail story pitting her against Molly Mae and Dani Dyer in a “bitchy cat fight” over laundry detergent endorsements.

“You can only imagine what Vogue thinks about Molly Mae parking her tanks on Vogue’s lawn—said one associate.” (31:06, quoted by Vogue)
Meeting the Journalist:
Vogue encounters the article’s author, Grant Tucker, and thanks him for the comedic relief:

“It was one of the best pieces of journalism I’ve ever seen. So well done.” (32:42, Vogue)
The Art of Lightness:
Both commend “fun journalism” over nasty tabloid tactics and joke about orchestrating future headlines.
- Joanne:
  
  “We all know that you and Molly Mae are not going to go jousting over fairy capsules ... that’s fun journalism.” (32:57)

10. Book News & True Crime Recommendations (35:08–39:08)

Kevin Federline Memoir:
Joanne introduces the news of Britney Spears’ ex-husband releasing a tell-all book, wrestling (briefly) with the ethics before vowing to listen to the audiobook for the podcast’s sake—with caveats about “not giving him the money.”
True Crime Book Recs:
Joanne strongly recommends Jacqui Connolly’s heartbreaking audiobook (narrated by Cherelle Kelleher) about the murder of her sister and nephews:

“When I say harrowing, gripping, excellent. So, worth a read—or a listen.” (38:11, Joanne)

Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

“I eat them, I don’t meet them!” (01:58, Vogue)
“There’s a potential to be lit when it gets dark, Vogue. And as it happens, it’s still daytime…” (01:02, Joanne)
“I did K out of the arse crack of Richard Ashcroft ... and I dry road Noel Gallagher for so long there’s a hole in the crotch of my tights!” (11:45, Joanne—making up wild stories for the tabloids)
“She has rebranded marriage to me as something deadly.” (24:06, Joanne, about Saoirse Monica Jackson’s wedding)
“You can only imagine what Vogue thinks about Molly Mae parking her tanks on Vogue’s lawn.” (31:06, Vogue quoting the Daily Mail)
“We all know that ... you and Molly Mae are not going to go jousting over fairy capsules ... that’s fun journalism.” (32:57, Joanne)
“I didn’t realize I was trying to buy the Cotswolds.” (26:43, Joanne, on Soho Farmhouse prices)

Highlighted Timestamps

| Segment | Timestamp | |--------------------------------------------|--------------------| | Lightbulb & Candlelight Antics | 00:26 - 02:00 | | Vogue’s 5am Wakeup/Travel Chaos | 02:37 - 04:34 | | Accidental Dyson Theft | 04:34 - 08:47 | | Oasis Afterparty & Getting the Boot | 10:03 - 16:36 | | Surviving Gig Queues/Festival Wisdom | 16:54 - 18:13 | | Birthday Party Anxiety & Husband’s Cake | 18:13 - 22:21 | | Saoirse Monica Jackson’s Epic Wedding | 22:29 - 25:56 | | Soho Farmhouse—Not for the Faint of Purse | 25:56 - 28:13 | | Tabloid Tales & Grant Tucker Shout-Out | 29:40 - 34:34 | | Kevin Federline, True Crime Book Recs | 35:08 - 39:08 |

Final Thoughts

This episode perfectly merges comic misadventure and genuine friend-to-friend therapy. Listeners are offered a peek behind the scenes of celebrity travel, afterparties, and the wild stories media run with—always with Joanne and Vogue’s quick wit and chemistry. Highlights include Joanne’s extended night at the Oasis afterparty, their take on the British tabloid machine, and honest (if harrowing) book recommendations. If you missed the recording, this summary gives you every laugh, confession, and side-eye-worthy bit of wisdom.