Oasis II, Rapture & A Fridge

Summary

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My Therapist Ghosted Me | "Oasis II, Rapture & A Fridge"

Episode date: October 3, 2025
Hosts: Vogue Williams & Joanne McNally
Podcast: Global | My Therapist Ghosted Me

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Episode Overview

In this lively and candid episode, Vogue and Joanne catch up on their recent gig adventures, revisit fan obsessions (notably, fake tan and Oasis), unpack the online frenzy around “the Rapture,” and share thoughts on AI in entertainment. The episode balances lighthearted banter with touching moments, especially as Vogue mourns the passing of her beloved dog, Winnie. The signature mix of unfiltered honesty and humour is front and centre.

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1. Tour Tales, Fake Tan, and Bingo Halls

[00:15–05:29]

• Fish, Flights & Fan Encounters:

  • Joanne lands from Birmingham and immediately starts recording.
  • Anecdote about a fan encounter at Birmingham Airport who raved about Vogue’s tan, with a side story about how fans used to “mule” the tan into the UK (“throwing it into a condom and putting it up the road to get us to the UK before you sold it in the UK” — Joanne, 01:13).

• Tan Devotion:

  • “People are so loyal to tan. I think they’re more loyal to tan than some are to their husband.” — Vogue, [02:04]

• Tour Stops & Venue Confusion:

  • Joanne discusses performing at Birmingham’s Hippodrome and friendly disagreement with Garode about which venues she’s played before.
  • Banter about bingo halls and bridge — and aspirational plans for oversized life games at parties.

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2. Nostalgia, Oasis Fandom & Celebrity Crushes

[05:29–14:06]

• Oasis Gig Report:

  • Vogue recounts her boozy night seeing Oasis again (“What happens at Oasis? A lot of drinks happen.” — Vogue, [05:48]).
  • Discussion on the symbolism of Liam and Noel Gallagher holding hands on stage, and what it means to fans.

• Who Gets Liam?:

  • Possessive, mock-jealous banter about who’s allowed to fancy or date Liam Gallagher.
  • “If you ever get the chance and you do that to me... I’ll never forgive you.” — Vogue, [07:25]

• Teen Crushes:

  • Vogue confesses to kissing posters of Liam and Eric Cantona as a kid.
  • Joanne sheepishly admits her crush was Dudley Moore, asking her mum to remove his poster after feeling watched. (“My crush was Dudley Moore.” — Joanne, [10:07])

• Celebrity Sightings:

  • Story about a bikini made out of Roy Keane’s face and why even “moaning holes” (as Vogue puts it) like him get so much attention.

• Concert Mishaps:

  • Reminiscence of Slane concerts: sneaking in at 16 and a friend “falling into a bush of nettles…her whole face was just lumps” — Vogue, [12:45]

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3. The Rapture: TikTok Panic & Religious Banter

[15:18–21:36]

• Rapture Internet Frenzy:

  • Joanne dives down the “Rapture” TikTok rabbit hole — evangelical Christians selling their possessions because they’re convinced the end is coming (“Where’s the line between religion and psychosis?” — Joanne, [18:34]).
  • Logical critique: “What is the point of selling anything? Come on!” — Vogue, [17:13]

• Belief vs. Delusion:

  • “I envy the dogged belief, but they look terrified.” — Joanne, [19:11]
  • Vogue admits: “I really need to start, like, just... please believe in heaven.” — Vogue, [19:00]
  • “Where does this leave them, their beliefs?” — Joanne, on the despair after Rapture fails to materialize, [20:26]

• Rapture Fashion:

  • Banter about getting ready for the rapture, “Are we going up in clothes? I’d be going up in clothes,” — Vogue, [19:29]

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4. Morbid Fascinations: Internet Facts & Tragic Stories

[21:51–26:41]

• Scary Facts Feed:

  • Vogue shares a disturbing Instagram fact: an estimated 40 million corpses in the sea — Joanne dismisses it as, “a figure pulled out of someone’s arse” [22:17].
  • Discussion of bodies on Everest as a comparison.

• Tragic Viral Videos:

  • Joanne, with gallows humour, recounts internet videos of accidental deaths:
    • Someone falling off a cliff in China for a selfie.
    • A man in a zorbing accident in Russia.
    • Reflection on why people watch such grim videos: “It’s just like this morbid fascination, I guess, with death.” — Joanne, [23:28]

• Personal Clear Outs:

  • Vogue frets about who will clear out her belongings (“You would not be able to take on Amber when it comes to the clothes” — Vogue, [26:53]), while Joanne jokes about inheriting Vogue’s designer wardrobe if she dies first.

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5. Movie Star Moment: Becoming a Fridge

[27:09–32:18]

• Vogue’s Voiceover Debut:

  • Vogue voices a fridge in the “Gabby’s Dollhouse” movie, rubbing virtual shoulders with Kristen Wiig (“Vogue is now a fridge in a Disney film. I have never been more jealous in my life.”— Joanne, [27:20]).
  • Details of the voiceover process, nerves about performing in front of a group, and benefits of being an appliance rather than on-screen talent.

• AI & Entertainment:

  • Discussion about the rise of AI-generated voices, with both hosts expressing discomfort and a preference for real voices for companionship.
  • “When it’s AI I don’t enjoy it at all.” — Joanne, [30:47]
  • Discussion about the AI influencer Tilly Norwood and why Joanne fears the rise of AI, “I’m really scared of AI. I don’t really get it.” — Vogue, [31:50]

• Self-Checkouts & Automation:

  • Vogue prefers human interaction over automated grocery checkouts (“Not just out of laziness, because there is that too!” — Vogue, [31:50]).
  • Joanne jokes about being polite to ChatGPT in case it enslaves her in future.

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6. Love and Loss: Pet Grief & Farewells

[32:47–39:31]

• Unorthodox ‘Romantic’ Stories:

  • Joanne retells the infamous “dancing with a mummified wife” story (“…dug up his wife and used to dance around with her and, like, dressed her in wax bandages…,” [32:47]), and Vogue counters with a romantic legend: a Russian prince building a palace with 365 rooms to cure his wife’s tuberculosis.

• Saying Goodbye to Winnie:

  • Vogue shares heartfelt news of her dog, Winnie, passing at age 14 (“He just was lying in the hall and he just died. But at least I was beside him. And he’s gone to a better place.” — Vogue, [35:33]).
  • Both reflect on the special bond with pets, their pain at loss, and comfort in knowing Winnie died at home.

• The Tax of Love:

  • “It’s the tax of love.” — Joanne, [37:08]
  • They discuss how devastating pet loss can be, often more than people expect.

• Plans for Winnie’s Ashes:

  • Vogue considers taking Winnie’s ashes to his favourite places, but settles on “where I know he loves and where I love, and where… his favourite places.” [39:05]
  • Joanne jokes: “What a bougie dog, being sprinkled across St. Barth’s.” [39:19]

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7. Notable Quotes & Moments

• On faith and delusion:

  • “Faith is like…blind belief with no proof…where’s the line between faith and complete delusion?” – Joanne, [21:13]

• On dying at home with a beloved pet:

  • “I was really stressed about that…then this morning he just, like, lay down by the front door and then he just, he died. And he actually wasn’t in any pain.” — Vogue, [36:04]

• On loyalty (to tan!):

  • “People are so loyal to tan…more loyal to tan than…their own husbands.” — Vogue, [02:04]

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8. Competition Details

[13:18–15:17]

• Joanne and Vogue announce a charity competition for tickets to Joanne’s show, a hotel stay, and a ghosted merch bundle, supporting Global’s Make Some Noise. Limited to UK residents.

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Timestamps for Key Segments

• Fan Tan Devotion at Birmingham: [00:34–02:32]
• Joanne’s Venue Mix-Ups & Bingo Hall Banter: [02:32–05:25]
• Oasis Fandom & Possessive Crushes: [06:58–08:10]
• Teen Posters (Liam, Dudley Moore): [09:29–10:07]
• Rapture TikTok Deep Dive: [15:18–19:11]
• AI Voices vs. Real Voices: [30:11–31:50]
• Pet Loss & Grieving Winnie: [34:53–39:26]

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Tone

The tone throughout is a mix of irreverence, affection, unfiltered honesty, and self-deprecating wit. The episode swings from silly (battling over Liam Gallagher), to darkly comedic (Rapture conspiracy), to sincerely touching (Vogue on losing Winnie).

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For New Listeners

This episode is a perfect sample of “My Therapist Ghosted Me”: hilarious conversational tangents, supportive but unsparing friend-therapy, and compassionate moments nestling among the belly laughs. If you enjoy anecdotes about fandom, social trends, and modern life’s oddities (with a generous dose of oversharing and humour), you’ll find this episode deeply engaging.

Transcript

[A]

This is a Global Player original podcast.

[B]

Hello and welcome to. My therapist ghosted me with me, Vogue Williams and Joanne McNally.

[A]

I'm ready. I put my fish away. I'm ready to chat.

[C]

Put your goddamn fish away.

[B]

I kind of really want fish now.

[A]

John. Starving. I've just landed from Birmingham. Okay. I'm a Jets.

[B]

Someone just mailed me, actually. I've lost the mail. And they said they saw you at Birmingham Airport and they were talking to you about my tan. Did that happen? Yes, I just saw that. I've lost it now.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

So hello to that person. I'm sorry. Yeah, she said to me.

[A]

So I was. I was queuing, as you do to get on planes, because that's how you get on plan. And she was like, cabin crew. She was kind of checking us in, and she came up to me. She was kind of looking at me, and then she came up to me and she goes, you're the podcast woman. And I said, yep, that is who I am. Yeah. I'm the only podcast woman there is.

[B]

Absolutely.

[A]

And then she said, I love Vogue's tan. And I was like, ah, yeah. I said, I. I do. I do personally believe it is the best hand on the market. And I do believe that I've said that to you privately and publicly. And she was very aware of your name. I was a little more mysterious to her, but she knew I was involved with you in some capacity. And then she said that she loves your town so much that she used to get it, like, flown in from. I don't know, someone was like, muling it like a drug mule. I don't know where they. Throwing it into a condom and putting it up the road to get us to the UK before you sold it in the uk. And she said they used to sell it on Air Lingus flights. Anyway. She was, yes.

[B]

Mad people, you know, and people are so loyal to tan there. I think they're more loyal to tan than some people are to their own husbands. Tan is very important.

[A]

And you know what she said, folk? She said, she's an ultra. An ultra dark. And I said, I am too. Although I said, vogue doesn't like that. Folks says, I'm a medium gal. But I. I said, I. I too, am committed to the ultra dark. Yes. We had a great chat. Almost missed the flight. I was like, oh. Then I realized that everyone was on the plane, so I had to lag him. Lovely chat.

[B]

Why Birmingham? What happened there? Why were you in Birmingham?

[A]

I was in the Hippodrome the night before doing a Show.

[B]

Oh, I. Oh my God. So you did two Apollo Drone.

[A]

I just love to get to Birmingham once a week. You know me folk.

[B]

I do love a bit of Birmingham now, I have to say. And they have a marks and in that airport for. For snacks.

[A]

Hi Abap. And can I say the audience. So the tour is up and running at the moment and I've never done the Hippodrome before. G tells me I have. I. I was like, I grow. I haven't done it before. That's. This is our regular argument.

[B]

This is terrible that I would veer on the side of Garode. But okay, okay.

[A]

I was like, I haven't pra. Wouldn't have sold the Hippodram. It wouldn't have.

[C]

You're just not a brilliant source when it comes to where you were.

[A]

My own stories. I know, yeah. But anyway, can I say it was a Sunday evening. It was one of the nicest gigs we've ever done.

[B]

Why do they call it the Hippodrome? Because there's hippodromes everywhere. And for some reason I'm like, I thought it was a bingo hall, but it's not a bingo hall. I know I did.

[A]

It was a bingo hall. It was a bingo hall.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Spinning baskets. Legs. 11 legs.

[B]

I was about to say what you share at the end when you win, but you shout bingo. You shout bingo.

[A]

It's all ahead of us, folk. It's all ahead of us. That's what we will be doing. I can't wait to hit my bingo stage.

[B]

They're playing that game, what's it called? Not bridge. There's another one that my auntie loves as well. There's another game that. It lasts for hours.

[A]

Bridge is very kind of female centric. I think one of my. One of my friends learned how to play bridge and she's in her. Well she's in her 40s now, but she learned in her 30s. And we were like, wow, this is like. This is nursing home vibes. She's like, no, no, no, I love it. But you need the part. The problem with bridge is you need a partner. You have to have someone to play with and obviously hours long. You don't do that though, cuz you, you own share.

[B]

I want to win. I want to win. No, there's another game that I've played called M or something like that. I don't know, it's. It's obviously it's not called that, but it's a really difficult game to play and that's what they're on to now. So bridge has taken a little bit of a back seat and they're on to that other game. I don't know if any. If somebody will know the name of it. And I'm not saying it right now. It's like mangi or something. I don't remember what it's called. I'd have to ring now.

[A]

Never. This sounds like. Is this one of your posh things? Is this one of your same boards? No game.

[B]

That's backgammon. That's backgammon. Is it?

[A]

Not posh. For my 50th birthday, I'd like to set up a giant, kind of experiential sized kerplunk.

[B]

I like kerplung. Do you know what's not great? The buckaroo. I got. I got bookaroo for the kids. And I was like, I remember this being much better. And operation. Do you know how small they've made the. No, no, no. They've made it so small that I can't even do it. Yeah.

[A]

What?

[B]

Yeah, don't bother. Don't waste your money.

[A]

Just a teeny tiny pancreas you're taking out with the tweezers. Great crack, though. And also I think an important educational tool for future doctors.

[B]

Absolutely.

[A]

We've spoken before about them leaving sponges and stuff inside people. It does happen. So maybe if they were doing more operation in their spare time as a game, they wouldn't make mistakes like that.

[B]

Possibly. And so come here to me. Guess what I did on Saturday night. Well, you know, I went to Oasis last time. I don't know what happens at Oasis. A lot of drinks happen, and I kind of started giving myself the fear yesterday. But. But my friends. What?

[A]

Can I ask a question?

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Did they come out holding hands or not holding hands?

[B]

They hugged their friends. I'm telling you, they're friends.

[A]

Well, someone told me there was one gig that they. They didn't come out holding hands. And I was like, oh, spicy.

[B]

Well, we don't know. We never held hands, you and I. Well, towers at the end.

[A]

We. I think we. We like, we. We publicly get on. Yeah. I mean, privately it's carnage.

[B]

Privately, can't bear each other.

[A]

Privately, there's been stabbings and glasses galore. Publicly, the official line is we like each other.

[B]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's the best way to have it.

[A]

But they're infamously like at each other's throats. Yeah, but I think the holding hands thing was to prove to make us feel comfortable that they are in a togetherness situation. Like that they're in. Like they're back in love. So when they don't hold hands coming out, it makes people unsat. It unsettles people. It's jarring. We're like, oh, my God. Talking. What's going on?

[B]

They didn't just hold hands, they actually hugged and they had scored. They did. I did. I saw them. I saw them.

[A]

Who's the top?

[B]

Who's the bottom? Just a little. John. There was only a little hand job. That's all right. Just a quickie. I did a real quick one.

[A]

Liam's the top.

[B]

Oh, God. And you know what? My love for Liam, it grows stronger and stronger every single day.

[A]

Listen, I. I don't. Whatever.

[B]

You're not having him. If you ever get the chance and you do that to me. I don't give a. If I'm married, I'll never forgive you.

[A]

He's going out with someone.

[B]

I know, but, like, just in case something.

[A]

And we have established that the. That the more that men get to know me, the less they fancy me.

[B]

Ah. No, I'd say he'd be into you now, so that's why it'd be a bit of a concern for me. I'd be more upset. I'd be more upset if you went with Liam than if he went with Spino. That's how upset I'd be.

[A]

Max. You trying to block me off? Liam Gallagher? You Are you?

[B]

I just did. Oh, friendship would be.

[A]

Wow.

[B]

He. I. That has been a love of mine since I was 12. Okay, back off, Joanne McNally. Take no. Right. Take no. He doesn't want me anyway.

[A]

I should have had Spencer instead. And you're like, oh, whatever.

[B]

As long as it's not. Listen, yeah, don't worry about it. As long as it's not Liam. That is totally fine.

[A]

Are you texting Liam now? Riding your husband? Oh, Grant.

[B]

We share. We share things.

[A]

Fine. You're like, if anything, take a shift off me. Delighted. I'll do the mornings.

[B]

But.

[A]

So my algorithm was popping off or whatever the way. Way it does, and a video came up of Oasis when they were, like, kind of at the start of their career. So I guess they were in their 20s. They were probably even younger.

[B]

Joe.

[A]

I say. I. I asked. I bring Joe's name into it when I need to be.

[B]

Well, it's 20 years since they broke up, isn't it? So it's 20 years since they broke up, and I don't think they were going together that long before they absolutely despised each other.

[C]

Noel's 58. And they were bang. Like. Started banging around in the middle of the 90s, didn't they? So he would have been in his late 20s. He would have been 28 and 95.

[A]

Well, when I say he was, I think I was a little. I'm a little younger than the lads, so I remember liking them, but I don't remember ever fancying them, if you know what I mean.

[B]

Anyway. Oh God.

[A]

This video turned up with the two of them chatting. And Liam. What? In fairness to him, he was a knockout.

[B]

I think he's better looking now. Honestly I do. I used to have him and Eric Canton on my wall and that's who I used to kiss good night. I remember it was when I had a single bed, sleeping beside Amber. I must have been. Honestly, I must have been about 11. I don't even think I'd. I hadn't gone to secondary school yet. And I was kissing his. Like. I've always liked a bad boy, as you know yourself.

[A]

What was wrong with me? Do you know who I had? My poster was Neil Buchanan. No. Douglas something. He was in a film called Crazy People.

[C]

Dudley Moore.

[B]

Dudley Moore.

[A]

Dudley Moss.

[B]

That's humiliating even for me.

[A]

Dudley Moore was the poster on my bedroom wall. Dudley Moore. Yeah. Yeah. And then I got really paranoid as a child. I remember asking my mom to remove the post. I think I loved the film Crazy People. I mean, why I had access to that, I have no idea. Bad parenting. Pat should be arrested. I thought his eyes were following me around the room then. And mom had to come in and take the poster down and I. It's the same with the China doll. Quite a paranoid child, I would say. But yeah, my crush was Dudley Moore.

[B]

Oh my God, no.

[A]

What's that about? It's weird.

[B]

I actually. When you think of it, I actually had quite good taste. Cuz Eric Cana also arrived. Like he's still good looking even. Even now. He's good looking.

[A]

Did you see your one wearing the bikini made out of Roy Keane's face?

[B]

No. I love Roy Keane too.

[A]

Well, I'll tell you this much, for such a cantankerous bastard, he gets a lot of attention.

[B]

He's very funny though, like. Because he's a moaning hole. But in a good way. Do you know what I mean?

[A]

Absolute mountain. But he prides himself on it. And everyone finds it attractive as do it.

[B]

Hello and welcome. Welcome to my.

[A]

Sorry, hello. I forgot, I don't. Oh.

[B]

I was on Oasis and Joe, you said the same thing. I don't know what it is. It's my second time going. I'd go again if I could. I. But like, you do tend to get pretty pissed at Oasis, don't you? And then the next day, when in.

[C]

Rome thing, isn't it?

[B]

It's just sort of. I know, but still, you know what I'm like, the next day. So I was like, oh God. I was like to Claude and actually, were we okay? And they were like, no, we were actually totally fine. And because we went to that friends and family bar.

[A]

Any sign of Richard Ashcroft?

[B]

No, but God, isn't he good? I went and watched it. So the girls flew in from Dublin and I was like, I was thinking to myself, I was like, nah, I'm not waiting for them. Like, I'm not missing Richard Ashcroft. Cuz I only saw his last song the last time I went. So off I went, stood on my own and this woman came over and she's like, are you all right? And I was like, yeah, no, I'm gone.

[A]

My.

[B]

My. My friends are coming. No, I have my friends. They are coming. So basically Liam said, we'll see you next year. So that means that they're going to do Nebworth. And I don't know where they would. Like, where would they go in Ireland? Cuz they've already done the biggest venue in Ireland. But surely they'll do another. Like maybe they'll do Crow park again. I'm going. Or maybe Slain. Slain. They'll do Slain with the same.

[A]

With the same. Like the same tour.

[B]

I guess I. I'd go 10 more times. I'd go 10 more times. I remember I went to Slain. Who are we going to see? We were going to see you two when we were really young and like, I think we were like 16. We'd snuck down and we got absolutely deranged and one of my friends fell into a bush of nettles and her, you know, the way it goes all lumpy and her whole face was just lumps and she was bawling, crying because she just had all these nettled, scratchy lumps all over her face. I'll forget that. So I won't be back. Slain. Yeah.

[A]

God love her.

[B]

Okay, we spoke about this the other day, but we're going to tell you again because it really is such an amazing cause and we've never done a competition on the podcast, but here it is. The Prize is Chewan McNally.

[A]

Two tickets to Pena Foil. And you can come backstage after and have a drink at Myself and Vogue.

[B]

You're going to get a night in a hotel near the Eventum Apollo and we're going to throw in 150 quid cash towards your travel costs.

[A]

And as well as that, we have a ghosted merch bundle for you and also a copy of Big Mouth.

[B]

The competition is to help raise money for Globals Make Some Noise, which funds vital life changing projects across the uk, delivered by small local charities with the aim of making sure nobody is left facing life's toughest challenges alone. Projects tackle a wide range of issues including bereavement, food, poverty, domestic abuse, homelessness and loneliness. Some amazing causes and brilliant work.

[A]

So let's give you some details. But before we do, this is only open to residents of the UK aged 18 and over who are based in the UK.

[C]

I'm going to chip in at this point and say I know that there's lots of people outside of the UK who are upset about this and we are looking into doing another competition like this, another time and opening it to more than just the uk.

[B]

So for your chance to win, for you and a friend to grab a drink with us, then, two tickets to see Joanne's Pedophile show on Saturday 18th October 2025 at the Eventum Apollo in London. 20 text Ghost G H O S T to 82200.

[A]

By entering you'll have the chance to make a voluntary five pound donation which will be added to your phone bill. And 100 goes to Global's Make Some Noise.

[B]

You've got until 10am on Monday 13th October. To enter, keep your phone handy, we may be calling you.

[A]

Standard network rates apply. You must be 18 or over to enter. For full T's and C's including prize date restrictions, visit makesomenoise.com forward/win. So text Ghost G H O S T 282200.

[B]

Good luck.

[A]

I'd like to talk about the Rapture, please. Oh yeah, I'd like to talk about the most recent, the most recent Rapture.

[B]

Also great song is not the rupture. I don't know. Yeah, it is. Okay, go on.

[A]

The Rapture is when basically it's the end of time, it's the end of mankind. Humankind, womankind, they kind. And Jesus comes back, splits the sky open, sucks all the sound people up, allegedly. Which just coincidentally happened to be Christians. Yeah, and the. The rest of us are left to just deal with the fallout of the Apocalypse. Right. So there the, the word went around on the Internet that the, the Rapture was. I mean there's been, it's been It's. It's one of these things, you know, the way they're always predicting, blah, blah, blah. There's always this doom clock and it's never been closer to the end of the world. It's all. It's all wamp, to be honest. But anyway. But I. I fell down the Rapture talk hole, but I didn't fall down. Sorry. I actively sorted out and went willingly.

[B]

It's right up your street. In fairness. Any conspiracy. Joanne's like, there you go. I'll lose her for an evening to a conspiracy theory.

[A]

I love it. But I was like, where? Where? So basically, rapture talk. Fascinating. And it's all the evangelical Christians who are like the mentalist of the mentals, right? So they genuinely believe this is happening to the point where they're selling their cars, they're selling homes.

[B]

But why are they selling them?

[A]

Well, this is the thing with the money. Is it to go and put it all on red the night before you go? Is it to bring. Is it a cash system up in heaven? Is it a Corona system? Are we paying? You're not bringing what's happening up there.

[B]

You're not bringing anything with you. What is the point of selling anything? Come on.

[A]

If. If heaven is a capitalist economy, I'm coming back down. I'm coming, but I'm going. I'm gonna unrapture myself and I'm gonna send me back down. I'll handle the apocalypse. I'd rather handle the apocalypse than be.

[B]

You're coming back down. You won't be brought up in the rapture. Forget about that.

[A]

Excuse me. Yes, I will.

[B]

I'm going up.

[A]

I'm gonna hold on to Joe's ankles.

[B]

Yeah, he is going in first.

[A]

Joe's going. You're not going, though.

[C]

I wasn't christened, so I wouldn't. I wouldn't bet on it.

[A]

Oh, you're not christened?

[C]

No, I'm heathenist.

[A]

Well, Chervo christened one of her kids Catholic. One of the Protestants. She doesn't. She's definitely not.

[B]

Guys, two of them are Protestant, one is Catholic. If I have another one, I'll do another Catholic. And then you know what? Maybe I won't. Maybe I'll go completely all out and do a completely different religion.

[A]

Vogue is religiously dyslexic. She has a clue what's going on. So she's not going up. She's not going to get raptured. So, Joe, you're a Baptist, fine, you'll be happy, like, oh, this is Lynette. She's Muslim. Yeah, we're diverse. Ready?

[B]

Yeah, absolutely. I'm trying to just bring us all together.

[A]

I've had a Buddhist baby. Oh, that's lovely. Vogue.

[B]

Good for you. Opening it out like Madonna. We'd all have the red little bands.

[A]

It's so. I, I, I, I suppose when I was, when I was reading all about the Rapture stuff, I was like, where is the line between religion and psychosis? Like, where like these people are crying on tik tok ball and crying because they're, they genuinely believe they're about to get raptured and they're crying because they're, they're saying goodbye to their kids. Why are your kids not getting raptured?

[B]

Do you know what I do think though, as well? I'm like, sometimes I'm a bit jealous of those people. No matter how bizarre and everything it is, at least they really think they're going somewhere. Like, I don't want to think. I'm not going anywhere. And I really need to start, like, just, I'm like, oh, please believe in heaven.

[A]

Oh God, I believe. I agree, I envy, I do envy the dogged belief. But like, they look terrified. And then there's other parts of rapture talk where people are kind of doing a kind of get ready with me for the rapture thing where they're picking outfits and all. I'm like, are you not getting beamed up? Are we going up in clothes?

[B]

Oh, I'd be going up in clothes. If you knew, if you knew the end of the world was coming, you probably, you probably would do your tan. You might get a nice blow dry. It's like those people who sometimes go in to give birth and if they're getting a C section, they get their nails done, they get their hair done, they get like makeup done sometimes. Like, I, I think that's pretty amazing as well.

[A]

Yeah. If you're into Jesus and you think he's, and you think he's about to invite you to an after party. Yeah, you're gon put the work in and get ready. I was flying the day of the Rapture and I was, I was, when I say excited to see the bodies floating up beside the plane, I was like, if this is kicking off, I'm glad I have a great view on a Ryan Air flight.

[C]

Ready, you may as well go. You're, you're on the way.

[A]

Yeah. And then of course, the rapture didn't happen. Shock, horror. Like how many times you have to get ghosted by Jesus to. He's Just, he's just not into, you know, he's not, not coming back. And then they're all crying and all trying to get their heads and their cars back. And I'm like, where does this leave them? Their beliefs?

[B]

But I suppose they just kind of wait for the next one. That'd be a real nightmare about the house and the car. I remember when I removed to Australia, moved, she sold her car and everything and then she went home three weeks later and it was a fucking nightmare. Strike a new car.

[A]

Yeah, of course. Yeah. I felt very sorry for the rapture. The people who didn't get raptured and thought they were going to get raptured. Like, imagine you thought you were going to get raptured. Imagine the amount of banta I'd have on my face.

[B]

Oh, my God.

[A]

I imagine the rupturing is very bad for the skin getting sucked up into heaven like that. But anyway, now they're all crying by and saying that they don't believe in God anymore. It's all, It's. It's. Where is the line between like, faith is like kind of blind belief with no proof. That's what faith is. But like, where's the line between faith and complete delusion? I don't know. I don't know where the line is. I have no answers.

[B]

It depends on people and how like much faith that they have and they're. And like, obviously they would have been completely depressed, but there's always another one. What's that thing where there's a prediction? There's predictions at the start of the year all the time. And they always predict the end of the earth at some point. But as well, don't forget November. The aliens are meant to be coming for us.

[A]

Remember, that's been a gone. That was.

[B]

That was no, this, this November coming. They're meant to come.

[A]

I'd say there's more, to be honest. There's more chance the aliens coming than Jesus coming. And that's the gods on the street.

[B]

I basically followed this new Instagram account that I'm actually going to unfollow because it's. I think it's called Scary Facts. And I've been. And for some reason it always pops up and it's these mad kind of facts. So one of them was, there are an estimated 40 million corpses in the ocean from all the shipwrecks, plane crashes, suicides and people who were murdered. That's more 40 mil. They're scary facts.

[A]

No, there's no way. That is absolutely a figure pulled out of someone's arse. That is not true.

[B]

Over all the year. But I suppose some of them obviously decompose and stuff like that, but still their bones are still there. So that. I don't think that sounds that unusual.

[A]

Joe, put on your wellies and go out and count the bodies, please. As our producer, it's your job.

[B]

But think about it, even on Everest, right, which not that many people have climbed, there are ever. There's like 270 bodies just on Everest. And if the whole ocean and that's where people throw loads of bodies. If you're gonna kill someone, what are you gonna do with it?

[A]

Did you see her one who fell off the cliff in China?

[B]

Oh, no.

[A]

Oh, God lover. She. She like detached herself from the group, you know, on the rope to take a photo. Toppled off the side.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

And his footage over. One of the worst. One of the. One of the worst things I've ever seen. And now it's actually not one of the worst things I've ever seen. One of the weirdest things I've ever seen. Because I have seen some pretty bad. Because you know the way sometimes it's that whole don't click this and then you click.

[B]

I never click it. You always click it. It's like that. Remember that poor man who was eaten by a shark in Egypt? And everyone was watching it. I was like, not for me.

[A]

It's so grim. It's just like this morbid fascination, I guess, with debts. But yeah, you know, like I've seen, you know, beheadings and you know.

[B]

Oh my God. I. I like. I honestly can tell you I would not be able to ever forget something like that.

[A]

Well, I haven't and I would not recommend if. If I can give any advice to the listeners if you are offered an opportunity to watch a beheading don't take was around the time Ward. It was around the time of the Iraq war and there was a lot of stuff going around and I was.

[B]

They were going around all the time.

[A]

Finger happy on the phone and anyway ended up seeing the. But one of the weirdest things I've seen or this or the most. One most unsettling things I've seen was this man in a zorb, you know.

[B]

Oh my God, yes.

[A]

And I think because it looks so childish and then the end result was so awful. He. He was. It was in Russia, I think maybe. And there's kind of like a zorb track where they put them in these huge big. You know, it's all very stag. Party coded. Put them in these huge big zor balls and they're supposed to kind of like bounce along like ping pong balls along the route. And then you get out at the end of gas, crack. And whatever happened, the zor bounced the wrong way. And I think because it looks kind of cartoonish that this, the ending is so like so opposed to how it looks because it's like a toy.

[C]

Are we not. We're not saying at what ends. Cuz I've not seen that.

[A]

Well, he.

[B]

I actually haven't seen that one.

[A]

He goes off the side of the cliff and. Yeah, yeah.

[B]

Jesus.

[A]

I know. Yeah.

[B]

Did you ever see that one of. There was this like this. It's not a zorb. It's made out of metal and basically you spin somebody around and the thing broke off and again fell off the side of a cliff. I saw that recently and I was like, oh my God. And I suppose you could see it because you don't actually see them dying, but like. Yeah, I just, I don't like any of those things. Or you know that thing where like people lie on a net and they're like put out off the side of a really high building to just look over and just act like they're flying. And I'm like, I just would not want to do something like that. I do all I've started because I, I'm morbid in just in general.

[A]

So like everyone is, everyone's obsessed with that. Everyone is.

[B]

You know what? I feel so sorry for everybody who's gonna have to get rid of my stuff when I go. I keep saying that, but I do. I have a lot of stuff. There's a lot of stuff to get rid of.

[A]

What you should do is start doing it now.

[B]

You would have too much stuff. I do. I'm doing it as much as I can.

[A]

If you're getting rid of any of your acne or Frankie shop stuff, I'll have it.

[B]

Oh yeah, yeah. I'm going to die soon.

[A]

Let's start the clear out.

[C]

You're 40 now.

[A]

You're 40.

[B]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's time. It's time to go.

[A]

Time to start packing your stuff away. V. Don't leave it to the kids even looking here. They're going to be busy grieving.

[C]

People say, getting your affairs in order, that's what you got to do.

[A]

You got to get your affairs in order.

[B]

Tough. Why would I bother my hole? Cuz you know, I. I'm not going to have to do it anyway. I just. All I Said was, I feel sorry for the person. It doesn't mean that I'm going to actually do anything to help that. I just feel bad for them.

[A]

I can just see. I can see me and Amber dueling at dawn over your clothes. If you go before the two of us. Yeah, the two pistols coming out, you.

[B]

Wouldn'T be able to take on Amber when it comes to the clothes. But every time I see Amber, I'm like, did I. Did I give you that? Or is that. And she's like, stop doing that. Because every time I see something nice, I'm like, I don't remember giving you that to the. Or have you stolen.

[A]

Folk, can we please talk about the fact that you are now a movie star?

[B]

Yeah, I worked alongside Kristen Wiig. We are colleagues.

[A]

Vogue is now a fridge in a Disney film. I have never been more jealous in my life. I want to be a kitchen appliance in a Disney film.

[B]

Joanne text me about. And I was like, you are unusually thrilled and excited about this.

[A]

Oh, come on. That's. That's. That's a big deal now. That's cool.

[B]

It was, to be honest with you. So I'm in the new Gabby's Dollhouse movie, and she loves Gabby's Dollhouse, and. And I don't, by the way, I don't actually know Kristen Wiig. I haven't met her or anything like that. So just in case, she's like, who's that weirdo saying, we're colleagues. But basically, I'm the voiceover for the fridge in Gabby's Dollhouse, the movie, which is out very soon. I'm going to the premiere on Sunday.

[A]

This is. So the dream is to get a V. I remember Ali Wong spoke about in one of her specials. She was like, I just want to be the voice of tofu in a Disney film. So you don't have to get dressed, you don't put makeup on. You get paid massive amounts of money. Obviously, it's none of our business what you're getting paid, vote, but I will expect you to tell me off camera.

[B]

Well, I only had a few lines now, to be fair.

[A]

Go on.

[B]

I only had a few. But what about today? Well, I wouldn't say I was getting paid what Ali Wong or Kristen Wiig got paid, but it was more affordable because Gigi loves it so much. I was like, what a cool thing to do. But when I went, it was in Universal and I went there and I met all these people and, like, there was loads of people. And then we went into this Kind of theater room where I was doing the voiceover, but there was about 10 of them sitting there just watching me. And you know the way I never sweat. Well, I was sweating. I had to keep apologizing for being so sweaty. I was like, oh, my God. I don't usually. So I, I honestly, I don't usually sweat. I was just so nervous because they were all just sitting there because I walked in and started doing it straight away and I was like, I'm not. I don't. Honestly, I don't usually sweat. Ask my friend Joanne. She's the sweaty one. She's the sweaty.

[A]

We've said it. You're Prince Andrew through and through. Not a drop.

[B]

Jesus, what a desperate thing to be told. I'm Prince Andrew, am I?

[A]

Well, sorry. Not through and through.

[B]

Not. Not all the traits. Yes, yes, yes.

[A]

But anyway, I am so I'm buzzing like an L. Fridge that you are playing the role of a fridge.

[B]

It was very fun. And you'. The next time I go, I'll wear less clothes. I'm not gonna bother my arse doing my makeup and I'm just gonna show up.

[A]

I'd love. I would love that. I'm just so. I'm just putting it out there into the universe. If anyone wants me to play the role of a hair dryer or a Dyson Air wrap or a Hoover, anything like that, where I don't have to get dressed or put makeup on, I would be thrilled.

[B]

Yeah. And listen, both of us are fully available, open for bookings, and we're in.

[A]

You're a movie star now?

[B]

Well, I am changing my, my bio. I'm just gonna put in. Worked alongside Kristen Wiig because. Well, I kind of did. She's there. No, it worked alongside a list actress.

[A]

Sorry, Fine.

[B]

Kristen Wiig.

[A]

I said this before, but I'll say it again. I, I obviously I listen to a lot of stuff because I'm on my own a lot of the time and I listen to it for Company, etc. And when they started using. So there's an app that I use where it turns newspaper articles into audio versions so you can listen to the newspaper article as you rock around. And they've started using AI Voices and I can't stand it. And then I realized, oh, I'm actually listening to these for Company. It's not, it's not necessarily just the information that's in the article. I'm actually listening to it for a bit of, like, human interaction at the same time.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

When it's AI, I don't I don't enjoy it at all. Like, I really don't. So I'm so pleased that those big films are still doing, like using real people. Of course they are. Because they're selling on your name then as well. Like, it's. Well, you know. Did you know, Followers, folks. That's a lot for a fridge.

[B]

That's a lot for a fridge. But did you not see that thing? Like, speaking of AI, there was that actress and she was on. She was. She had the. The. What was she? She was basically cast in a comedy short on YouTube and cracking jokes and stuff on camera. Her name is Tilly Norwood. She looks absolutely beautiful, but she's completely AI and supposedly she's being. Yeah, she's been. You're being used for way more things. I just. I just don't. I. I get. Some people can be quite lonely and maybe that's why they would become friends with. With the AI robots. But like I have said from the very start, I'm really scared of AI. I don't really get it. Even like, I prefer going to. When I'm in the shop, I just would prefer to go to the person instead of doing my own. Not just out of laziness, because there is that too. And also because it never goes through properly when you're in the shop. I prefer to go to the shop assistant.

[A]

I used to do it in stand up, but no one laughed. I couldn't make it funny. But I was all my. My point was that creating, like. And it was mostly men involved in creating AI, and they've created our successor. Like I said, it's the equivalent of hiring a hot nanny. Women wouldn't be stupid enough to do it. You're not going to bring in your successor into your own home, which is what they've done with AI. These lads have built something that's going to take over their own jobs. It's nuts. But anyway, it's here now, you know, it's here.

[B]

There's nothing we can do to stop it.

[A]

We can do to stop pushing. I'm very nice to my chachi bt because I do feel there will come a day where it will become sentient and I don't want it to put me in a hamster wheel.

[B]

Do you know, remember that time you told that really awful, awful story that you thought it was a really lovely love story about that man who basically dug up his wife and used to dance around with her and, like, dressed her in wax bandages and stuff and just kept her body for years and years and years.

[A]

Yeah. And tied her together with piano strings.

[B]

Oh, God. Well, do you want to hear a.

[A]

Romantic story that families came past and they knew that he was so obsessed or they suspected that he'd actually stolen her from the grave? Yeah, I do.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

My goal.

[B]

Do you want to. Do you want to hear an actual romantic story? I saw there is this big. There's a palace. Right.

[A]

I was on the plane today.

[B]

Your story is not romantic. It is.

[A]

It is, folks.

[B]

I don't want to be dug up and dragged around like I want that dragged around.

[A]

Okay. Okay. Well, let's just see if you die first and Spano isn't. You'll be devastated if he. I'll be like, you get down there with the spade. Spencer, the piano strings.

[B]

The two of you can share me.

[A]

Drag. Rinse the dress. Move. Yeah.

[B]

Listen to this one. The palace of Prince Smetsky of Russia. Built to save his wife from tuberculosis. It had 365 rooms, one for every day of the year. So basically, he put all his money into building this palace so the wife could recover if she slept in a. In a different room each night. A germ free room. She got so much better from tuberculosis. She actually outlived him and lived until she was 90. And that is what I would like my husband to. That's what I'd like my husband to do for me. Not drag around my dead corpse.

[A]

Well, interestingly, the guy who did drag around the dead corpse, he. The. The woman who died. Died of tuberculosis also. And he was her doctor.

[B]

Oh, God. No.

[A]

Tuberculosis was huge back in the day. It's like protein now. Was very popular, like creatine.

[B]

Are you still on the creatine buzz? I'm gonna get on that buzz.

[A]

No idea what it does, but of course I'm honest. You know, I love a trend, I love a fad. We've some sad news this week.

[B]

We do. And I'm going to try.

[A]

Oh, I know.

[B]

Poor little Winnie died. Yeah, little Winnie. He was for nearly 14 and yeah, he died.

[A]

I know. So I. So sad. Like, I don't know why. When you told me this morning, I was like, inch. It seemed like it was. Why did I. I was like, why am I acting like this is sudden?

[B]

It felt very sudden.

[A]

Even though we knew he was sick, it felt very sudden.

[B]

I honestly thought that I was gonna have to take him to the vet and like, do that for him because he was. He was sick, obviously, on and off.

[A]

But he.

[B]

Yeah, he just died. He just was lying in the hall and he just died. But at least I was beside him. And he's gone to a better place.

[A]

Gone to a better place. Do you know what I find interesting? Winston is one of the few animals I've ever heard of to die naturally in the arms of their owner. Most packs, from my experience are they get really sick, they have to be put down. I think there's something really sweet about the fact that you were with him. As in like he died of natural causes.

[B]

Yeah. To be honest with you, I actually did feel really lucky because I was really stressed about that or it happening like during the night when he was on his own and then this morning he just like lay down by the front door and then he just, he died. And he actually wasn't in any pain. He didn't like squeal or anything.

[A]

But yeah, poor little Winnie.

[B]

I know he was water.

[A]

He was so cute. And I said to Vogue this morning because she was like, I'm heartbroken. I was like, well, yeah, because you know Winnie, longer than you know your husband or your children.

[B]

I know. Like he literally has come everywhere with me. Yeah. I got him in Australia. He came over and I just, I, but it was, it was strange because yesterday he, I took him on a big long walk like we had a lovely day essay and he's been play fighting with Bertie and stuff. And then there's just this morning. I suppose there's no better way for it to happen than to happen like that. But God, it's, I'm never, I swear to God I am never doing it again. I just. After Bertie, I'm not getting any more pets. It's too sad that. So like I've just been crying non stop all day today and it's just, it's a horrible feeling.

[A]

But the tax of love. The tax of love, like Garod's cash died recently.

[B]

Did it?

[A]

Yeah. And when I say he and I, he won't mind me saying this. He is devastated. Like devastated. And I think people can sometimes be dismissive of pet deaths. Like people don't take it that seriously. But there's that unconditional love, that connection. Like my. We've had dog, we always had dogs and the last dog that died on us shouldn't die on us. I guess we had to have her put down for various reasons. But like I still, I miss her. I think about her, you know, I like I, you know, full time. She was with my mom really. But I rather he was. She was a mad as well. But I, I, she was, yeah, she was insane. She'd be like, shag and everything and all was mental. But anyway.

[B]

No, but you just. I suppose it's because they're just part of your family for so long. And he was nearly with us 14 years. But, like, I knew I'd be really sad. I just didn't know I'd be this sad. Yeah.

[A]

It's unconditional love. Pets give unconditional love. What? There's no. There's no one else that gives unconditional love except your parents, if you're lucky enough to have. Have good parents. Not even some parents don't give unconditional love. And I. So I remember even sometimes when I'd be minding Roxy, Mum be away and I'd be out and I think of Roxy in the house on her own. I'd feel over.

[B]

I know.

[A]

Guilt. I was like, oh, my God. I'm out here enjoying myself in a wine bar, and the dog is on its own at home. We need to go home to the dog. Yeah. I don't know.

[B]

Well, poor Birdie is just wanting around, and he just keeps. Like, he's on my feet the whole day. But, yeah, you're right. It is the tax of love. And we got him for almost 14 years, and he couldn't have gone in a better way. Like, he hated the vet, so we would have hated to have to go there. And I didn't want his last moments to be there. So. Yeah.

[A]

Are you gonna have him cremated? You are gonna have.

[B]

I'm gonna. I'm gonna have him cremated, and I might take him to. How.

[A]

But you'll keep a bit of them.

[B]

I don't know. I think he'd like. Because I thought about doing that. I was like, maybe I'll bring him here and here and here. And then I'm like, well, I just put him where I know he loves and where I love and where. Yeah, I was like, where are his favorite places? I'll bring him to Scotland. I'll bring some of them to Howth. And then I was like, no.

[A]

What a bougie dog mog being sprinkled across Saint Bar.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

What a lovely, lovely life.

[B]

He's never been to Saint Bar. Wanted to go. Oh, yeah.

[A]

But anyway, Rip Winnie, rest in peace, little winter. Okay, see you next week.

[B]

Thanks, everyone, for listening. Sam.