Roses Are Red, Violets Are Blue...

Summary

Podcast Summary: "Roses Are Red, Violets Are Blue..."

Episode Release Date: February 14, 2025
Hosts: Vogue Williams & Joanne McNally
Podcast: My Therapist Ghosted Me

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Introduction and Valentine's Day Banter (00:02 - 02:00)

The episode kicks off with Vogue and Joanne exchanging playful banter to celebrate Valentine's Day. They joke about lost hats and tease each other about their "dick energy," setting a light-hearted and humorous tone for the show.

Notable Quote:

• Vogue Williams (00:15): "Happy Valentine's Day, darling."
• Joanne McNally (01:27): "No, you have a little. No, you don't. No point."

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Reflecting on Comedy Shows and Personal Experiences (02:00 - 10:00)

The conversation shifts to their experiences attending comedy shows. Joanne shares her humorous ordeal at a matinee performance, highlighting the challenges of managing alcohol consumption and the awkwardness of measured champagne pours.

Notable Quotes:

• Joanne McNally (04:48): "I went in and I love that venue, but I was like, I'm not gonna drink."
• Vogue Williams (05:17): "Even I, with the palette of a bin bag, know that champagne and wine out of plastic. Not the same."

They also discuss Vogue's attire at a recent comedy show, featuring American Vintage’s sorbet lemon jacket, and Emmanuel, a performer known for his skinny jeans, sparking a humorous debate about fashion choices.

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Transition to Personal Anecdotes and Social Media Critique (10:00 - 19:00)

Joanne delves into her journey toward becoming a "tradwife," sharing her attempts at cooking and the mixed reactions from her partner. They critique the unrealistic portrayals of lifestyles on social media, particularly focusing on influencers like Belle Gibson who fabricated health stories for attention.

Notable Quotes:

• Joanne McNally (11:37): "I made a chicken pie."
• Vogue Williams (15:16): "She basically said she cured it through blueberries and cabbage."

The hosts express skepticism towards the authenticity of online personas, discussing the prevalence of women faking terminal illnesses and the societal expectations placed on women.

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Discussion on Relationships and Self-Reflection (19:00 - 35:00)

Vogue and Joanne explore their personal relationships, touching on themes of codependency and the pitfalls of trying to be overly self-reliant in romantic settings. They share anecdotes about breaking up, self-realization of personal faults in relationships, and the challenges of maintaining genuine connections amidst societal pressures.

Notable Quotes:

• Vogue Williams (32:54): "Tell me the moment you realized you might have been the problem."
• Joanne McNally (40:37): "I realized I was the problem when I couldn't go a day without him."

The conversation emphasizes the importance of self-awareness and accountability in relationships, encouraging listeners to reflect on their own behaviors and patterns.

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Valentine's Day Memories and Reflections (35:00 - 43:00)

The hosts reminisce about their childhood experiences with Valentine's Day, sharing stories about family dynamics and personal embarrassments. They discuss the commercialization of the holiday and its impact on their perceptions of romance.

Notable Quotes:

• Joanne McNally (31:12): "I made a chicken pie. I am romantic in those kinds of ways."
• Vogue Williams (36:10): "I'll be bringing in an air fryer book. She won't even use that."

They also touch upon societal expectations to engage in romantic gestures, debating the authenticity and personal significance of traditional Valentine's Day activities.

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Closing Thoughts and Final Banter (43:00 - End)

In the final segment, Vogue and Joanne engage in playful taunts and humorous exchanges, reflecting on past relationships and personal growth. They conclude the episode with a custom Valentine's poem, blending their signature humor with affectionate nods to their listeners.

Notable Quotes:

• Vogue Williams (21:48): "Roses are red, violets are blue. My partner in ghosting, who takes a beautiful roaster."
• Joanne McNally (44:31): "Pressured him into talking about his childhood trauma when I wasn't a therapist. And I absolutely broke him."

Their light-hearted conclusion reinforces the podcast's theme of honest and unfiltered conversations about personal struggles and societal norms, all delivered with a generous dose of laughter.

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Key Takeaways

• Humor as Therapy: Vogue and Joanne use humor to navigate and discuss personal and societal issues, embodying the podcast's mission of providing "100% unqualified, unsubstantiated but upfront and honest advice."

• Authenticity in Relationships: The hosts emphasize the importance of self-awareness and accountability in maintaining healthy relationships, advocating for genuine connections over superficial interactions.

• Critique of Social Media: They offer a critical perspective on the unrealistic portrayals and influences of social media, urging listeners to seek authenticity and truth beyond curated online personas.

• Valentine's Day Reflections: Through personal anecdotes, they explore the complexities and societal pressures of Valentine's Day, highlighting the varied ways individuals perceive and celebrate the holiday.

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Final Note:
"Roses Are Red, Violets Are Blue..." delivers a blend of humor, honesty, and relatable anecdotes, making it a compelling listen for those seeking authentic conversations about life, relationships, and societal expectations. The engaging dialogue between Vogue Williams and Joanne McNally offers both laughter and introspection, staying true to the podcast's promise of 100% honesty.

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Transcript

[Vogue Williams]

This is a global player original podcast.

[Joanne McNally]

Hello, and welcome to. My therapist ghosted me the Valentine's Day special.

[Vogue Williams]

Happy Valentine's Day, darling.

[Joanne McNally]

Happy Valentine's Day, honey. Happy Valentine's Day, puppets. Thank you. Change your ass.

[Vogue Williams]

I didn't lose this hat. I'm wearing my baseball le hat. No, I didn't lose this hat.

[Joanne McNally]

You lost the. For a while.

[Vogue Williams]

Did I?

[Joanne McNally]

You did. Yeah. You were very upset about the.

[Vogue Williams]

Yeah, wasn't.

[Joanne McNally]

Are you sure you lost the.

[Vogue Williams]

What? Did I.

[Joanne McNally]

For sure.

[Vogue Williams]

Was it not to come to a breakup with an actual man. Are you sure it was the baseball.

[Joanne McNally]

C. It was the hat. It was definitely the hat. We don't call a.

[Vogue Williams]

We don't call a. We never call a.

[Joanne McNally]

Only when I'm trying to be a dirty bitch.

[Vogue Williams]

Yeah. Never to me. Only in the privacy of your own eyes.

[Joanne McNally]

No, I wouldn't ever speak to you like that. Rude.

[Vogue Williams]

Penis.

[Joanne McNally]

Penis.

[Vogue Williams]

No. Yeah. No. Whenever you address your cock to me, it's always penis.

[Joanne McNally]

I don't come in swinging my dick. I come in swinging my penis.

[Vogue Williams]

No big dick energy with no dicks. That's the way you want. That's the perfect. That's the female status. What about you, Joe? Would you call it. Would you say you got big dick energy? No. In this podcast, I have no dick energy, and that's specifically what I'm.

[Joanne McNally]

Oh, that's mean. That's mean of us. No, you have a little. No, you don't. No point.

[Vogue Williams]

No, Absolutely none.

[Joanne McNally]

Not going to.

[Vogue Williams]

You're a little unic over there. That's how we like it.

[Joanne McNally]

That's fine. Happy, Happy Valentine. Happy Valentine's Day.

[Vogue Williams]

Happy Valentine's Day to all who celebrate.

[Joanne McNally]

How sweet.

[Vogue Williams]

Happy Galentine's and Palentine's Day.

[Joanne McNally]

V. Why is it Galentine's g. What's Galentine's?

[Vogue Williams]

Galentine's is the girls, and Palentine's is pals. Even though I really.

[Joanne McNally]

Same. No.

[Vogue Williams]

I tell you, the pals annoys me now as well. I don't know what's going on with me. I think. Think I'm near death.

[Joanne McNally]

Amber. Amber keeps saying Sammy. And I. I can't bear it. She's like, oh, I just made myself a toasted Sammy. I'm like. And she's always saying it.

[Vogue Williams]

I did the sheer looks podcast recently, and they asked me what. What annoys me the most, and I said, abbreviations. And I'm sorry. Vogue. I threw you under the. I threw you under the bus.

[Joanne McNally]

I don't care. I'm gonna. I'm actually Gonna text them right now and get myself on that pod.

[Vogue Williams]

He said, I said when. She said, I said when. V says like, sorry, Joanne.

[Joanne McNally]

Do you remember? Joanne forgets things when she decides she wants to abbreviate. What was that thing she kept doing? Hundy pee.

[Vogue Williams]

I've told you, I am a raving hypocrite. I've held my. I've held my hypocritical hands up and said, two hands to the hypocrite. It's like when I was smoking, when I smoked, it was cool, chic and Parisian. When anyone else deals, it was trash.

[Joanne McNally]

Oh, my God. I went out. I went out on Saturday, speaking of smoking. And I was only having a couple. Well, I was meant to have no drinks, first of all, and to say I took smoke and tunnel. I was like, beckon. I'm eight. I went to see Jason Manfred. Oh, yeah, in the Playdoh.

[Vogue Williams]

Good old Jason Mann.

[Joanne McNally]

I am petitioning Jason Mann. Yeah, I take. Gets called that a lot.

[Vogue Williams]

Yeah. Jay.

[Joanne McNally]

Jason, man, I'm petitioning for you to do a matinee. I think you should. I think that you should consider it. You've lots of nights on the tour. I think one matinee. I know for us in London. One matinee in London, one matinee in Dublin.

[Vogue Williams]

I do feel you. There's times where I'm like, I would love to do a matinee.

[Joanne McNally]

I don't think you're taking it on board, though.

[Vogue Williams]

But I will tell you this, I've done matinees before and as much as it would suit your timings, because I know you like to be in bed by 5, by 6, home by 6, in the cop by 6, 30. But the energy is not the same at a matinee. It's really not. They're kind of just waking up and for stand up, you kind of want them a little oiled, a little loosey, a little.

[Joanne McNally]

Even considers you, to be honest.

[Vogue Williams]

Yeah, yeah, of course.

[Joanne McNally]

I don't care if. I don't care if you die in your arse to a matinee, God forbid.

[Vogue Williams]

The entire experience of the show, folk. But it's kind of embarrassing when you have to admit that you're better. You're. You're perceived to be better at your job and people are pissed.

[Joanne McNally]

Everything in life is better when you're two glasses in.

[Vogue Williams]

Yeah, two, two. Two glasses. Yeah, you're right. Two and a half, two, three. Then it starts kind of things then start to go the other way.

[Joanne McNally]

Yeah, two for me and I go.

[Vogue Williams]

Matinees in the Edinburgh fringe were like. Some of them, you're. You're. It's like pulling teeth. It's not the same vibe. But then it hits a certain. Then in Edinburgh, there was a show called Leighton Live, which started at midnight, and that was carnage, like absolute carnage. So there is a middle ground. There is a Goldilocks comedy time, which.

[Joanne McNally]

I think is 8pm I'm just saying that I think that you could consider for the Apollo and for the Olympia in Dublin that you should do matinee.

[Vogue Williams]

Was Jay, did Jason Manfred do a matinee?

[Joanne McNally]

Yes, he did do a matinee. Why'd you think I was there? Oh, what, at 3:00pm Matinee? He did two shows in a day?

[Vogue Williams]

Ah, there you go.

[Joanne McNally]

Yeah, yeah, yeah, fine, 3:00pm Matinee. But anyway, I went in and I love that venue, but I was like, I'm not gonna drink. I'm not gonna drink. And then my friend was like, ah, you will have a drink. And I took wheels and I said, okay, I'll have one drink. And I was like, I'm not hitting the. I'm not hitting the hard stuff. I'm not going for the vodka. I'm going to have a glass of champagne.

[Vogue Williams]

Gorge.

[Joanne McNally]

Great. And she's like, oh, we're going to have to put that in a plastic cup. And I said, not great, but I'll. I'll accept.

[Vogue Williams]

It's not the same. Even I. And even I, with the. With the palette of a bin bag, know that champagne and wine out of plastic. Not the same.

[Joanne McNally]

No, it's just not the same. Anyway, so I was like, you know what? I'll treat myself. Have a glass of champagne. And if you're usually at a show, you'd be like, I'll get the bottle. But my friend wasn't drinking champagne on the wine. So I was like, I'll get a glass of champagne. To my horror, they started pouring it into a measure. A measure?

[Vogue Williams]

The champagne.

[Joanne McNally]

The champagne into. They measured my champagne. And I was watching the bubbles empty from the measure, and then. And then she poured it into the plastic cup where more bubbles left the champagne.

[Vogue Williams]

Hold on. So she was pouring in. So she poured froth into a beaker for you.

[Joanne McNally]

She poured it into a measure like you do vodka. And then from the measure into the plastic cup. And I was like, well, what's the point? Why don't you just piss in my glass?

[Vogue Williams]

Yeah, that's a disgrace.

[Joanne McNally]

I couldn't believe it. But I was like, sorry, I know we're big drinkers in Ireland. But like, there should be rules. Like, you don't need to measure wine and you don't need to measure champagne.

[Vogue Williams]

I've never heard of anyone measuring champagne.

[Joanne McNally]

I nearly fell down the stairs and died the second.

[Vogue Williams]

The second I see anyone. The measurements, the wine, the drink measurements. And I know, look, I know it's my own problem immediately. Am I. I'm just angry.

[Joanne McNally]

I was. It was. Honestly, I'm not a child. Two sips. Like how bad are you at measurements that you can't just measure out a glass of champagne? Like, don't worry, don't give me the whole bottle or anything.

[Vogue Williams]

But like, calm down.

[Joanne McNally]

I know. Like when I used to work in a pub. Yeah, fine, I might have given extra measures to people, but that was my own prerogative if I wanted to steal for them. That was down to me. But like, I just think, don't be so scabby with your champagne.

[Vogue Williams]

I know.

[Joanne McNally]

Lesson learned.

[Vogue Williams]

I hear you. Yeah. Don't leave the house again. Look, you learned your.

[Joanne McNally]

I did.

[Vogue Williams]

Maybe it was cuz it was the matinee. They were like, this girl's going to get up and she's got kids. I recognize her. I'll tell you what, maybe she was doing you solids. I'll tell you what, maybe she was like, if I hear vogue and on about anxiety from alcohol one more time, I can't listen to it. I'm going to measure out someone's champagne.

[Joanne McNally]

There was not one, one iota of anxiety the next day. And I wasn't even drunk. And I usually get drunk on a glass. Not one bit drunk.

[Vogue Williams]

The anger, obviously.

[Joanne McNally]

Oh God. I couldn't. And then I sat down and there was these two women sitting beside us. And I was like, your glasses are so full. They're like, oh, we bought the bottle. And I was like, that makes sense.

[Vogue Williams]

I do know. I hear you. There's nothing. It's discombobulating when the measurement comes out. It's.

[Joanne McNally]

Anyway, great show. Great show.

[Vogue Williams]

Nothing so far about Jason Manford, but.

[Joanne McNally]

He did have a man on before him. That was very funny. His warm up. Yeah, but he was wearing skinny jeans. But not the kind of skinny jeans that like have a little like painted on skinny jeans. And I just thought it's such a heavy fashion statement. Like the neon you're wearing today wouldn't be for everybody.

[Vogue Williams]

Sorry. When I came in. Excuse me. Let's just have a little description of what it is for the people at home, which is everyone else.

[Joanne McNally]

Hi, Viz.

[Vogue Williams]

I'm wearing an American vintage sorbet Lemon. Okay, fine. Hi, Viz High Vis. Gillette.

[Joanne McNally]

Sorbet.

[Vogue Williams]

Gillette. Joe came in, he goes, wow, that's yellow. And I said, I think what you mean to say is, wow, that's gorgeous. Gorgeous. Yes. Sorry, I meant to say.

[Joanne McNally]

Wait, it's gorgeous. It is. I. I didn't say it wasn't gorgeous. It is gorgeous. But it would be for only certain people. Like those skinny jeans. Like, I couldn't take my eyes off his calves. I was like. I just. I couldn't stop looking.

[Vogue Williams]

Who was it? Name and shame. Name and shame.

[Joanne McNally]

Emmanuel.

[Vogue Williams]

Oh, yeah, I know Emmanuel.

[Joanne McNally]

Was he wearing skinny jeans when you saw him?

[Vogue Williams]

Yeah, he always wears them. They're like, his look, I just thought, huge lad. He used to be a bouncer, you know.

[Joanne McNally]

I know, I know. Like, I mean, his body is fantastic.

[Vogue Williams]

The first time I gigged with him, he kept opening the door for me to go and eight. And I thought he was the bouncer. And only when he went on stage I was like, oh, hell, he was very good.

[Joanne McNally]

But I couldn't take my eyes off the skinny jeans. And I just thought, it's such a. It's such a big fashion statement. Like, remember that picture of the four boys who were wearing the skinny jeans? And everyone, like, was laughing at it for ages and ages. Like, he could pull them off. But I just thought. I don't even. I don't know if this will sound bad, but the guy that I was with, I was like, if you were wearing skinny jeans when I first met you, I don't know if we would have liked. Click. Just quickly.

[Vogue Williams]

It's because. It's because Emmanuel's so jacked. He's absolutely huge. He's like 6 foot 12.

[Joanne McNally]

Maybe they were flares and he's just. Yeah, so they turned.

[Vogue Williams]

Maybe they were coloss. And he just is so huge that they're. He can't get baggy jeans. He definitely shops in the Big and tall shop. But even still, he's like, these are like pedal pushers. No, sorry. Like, they're baggy trousers to him are pedal pushes. Now, I know Emmanuel. And I would say. And Emmanuel, correct me if I'm wrong, I would say, because skinny jeans are back in fashion. But if I know manual, the way.

[Joanne McNally]

I think I see anyone wearing them. By the way, you only saw them in Stylist.

[Vogue Williams]

Well, do you know. No, no, no, that's not true. Guess who's wearing them all the time?

[Joanne McNally]

Who?

[Vogue Williams]

And this is why I have to take them seriously. Claudia Winkelman is Wearing them all the time on Traitors.

[Joanne McNally]

She's covering them up with boots.

[Vogue Williams]

It doesn't matter. They're still a skinny gin.

[Joanne McNally]

Oh, my God.

[Vogue Williams]

I know. And they're back. And I read an article the other day. I was like, tips on how to wear them in 2025. And I was like, don't. That's the tip.

[Joanne McNally]

Yeah, the tip. I'm sorry. I was really happy when they disappeared because, honestly, I don't really have the legs for skinny jeans.

[Vogue Williams]

No. And that's the problem when you don't have the. When you don't have the body or the physique to fit the fashion, but you do it anyway because you're. You're just on the hamster wheel.

[Joanne McNally]

You just want to be involved.

[Vogue Williams]

You just want to be involved. And then you're. It was the skinny jeans for me was the constant ass crack. That was the humiliating part of it. I have an ass now. It's not a great ass. I wish it was bigger and rounder. But do have an ass.

[Joanne McNally]

An ass peeking out.

[Vogue Williams]

You know, I have curves and stuff. Well, I probably used to have more, but I. The ass was. I was very. And you. You have to. You'd have to. You'd have to bend down from the front if you get, like, from the back. Do you get me? You could never bend over. You drop a cigarette in the ground and you'd be like. You'd be. You'd be kind of trying to lie down backwards to kind of. I just don't want to not show your arse.

[Joanne McNally]

I feel like my vagina side. When I threw all them out, it was literally like, oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Vogue Williams]

They're too tight. And apparently on men, they affect fertility.

[Joanne McNally]

Some people do have two vaginas, by.

[Vogue Williams]

The way, so they're never the same size. I have a friend with two vaginas. Sorry, no. Two wombs.

[Joanne McNally]

Did I tell you I've become a trad. Wife?

[Vogue Williams]

Tell us.

[Joanne McNally]

So. I really have. And people keep saying to me, oh, my God, you're so domesticated. I said, I know, I know. No one's. I made a chicken pie. Whoa.

[Vogue Williams]

Wow.

[Joanne McNally]

Oh, I don't like pie, to be honest with you. I actually don't like pie. And I forgot that I don't like pie. Everyone else loved it, but they won't be seeing that again for another six to eight months because I don't really like pie. It's too. It's too. It reminds me of when my mom used to make us eat stew. And that's Why? I think. I don't like mashed potato either. I don't want to eat stuff like that. But everyone else loved it, so I made a chicken pie. I made a curry last night. I'm making something else tonight. I'm on fire. I'm a tradwife.

[Vogue Williams]

Fire. What. What happened that you decided to make a chicken pie?

[Joanne McNally]

I saw it on James Kavanaugh's boyfriend William's Instagram, and I thought, that looks absolutely delicious.

[Vogue Williams]

That's how social media works. Yeah.

[Joanne McNally]

And I just feel like I'm copying loads of people's recipes. It started with fairy cakes. Remember we used to make fairy cakes, but none of this bullshit like healthy fairy cakes. I want the ones where you used to get the yogurt. You'd pour the yogurt in, then you'd fill the yogurt with sugar. You'd pour the sugar in. And it was kind of done like that. And I made those fairy cakes, and they were so good.

[Vogue Williams]

Amazing.

[Joanne McNally]

And then I started. And then I. I tried healthy banana muffins. Not good.

[Vogue Williams]

Okay.

[Joanne McNally]

And so I'm just going through the list when he was like, why don't we get a cookbook and follow it like Julie and Juliet?

[Vogue Williams]

I thought, why don't you bring out a cookbook?

[Joanne McNally]

I don't have enough going on. I'm not bringing out a cook. But I'll bring out a microwave book.

[Vogue Williams]

Yeah, yeah.

[Joanne McNally]

Put the chicken pie in the microwave.

[Vogue Williams]

I'll be bringing in an air fryer book. She won't even use that. I. I have two drawers sitting on a ninja air fryer. And I've never. I tried to cook eggs.

[Joanne McNally]

Them. I've never touched it since I'm a tradwife. Also made a Brussels spread salad. There. I'm done.

[Vogue Williams]

Good for you.

[Joanne McNally]

Thank you.

[Vogue Williams]

What do tradwise do? Did you do it really slowly and then speak really suggestively and really fucking annoyingly on the other side?

[Joanne McNally]

Well, I was thinking I might do that today.

[Vogue Williams]

My child wanted chewing gum, so I started with the base.

[Joanne McNally]

Sorry. Did you see her one making paper?

[Vogue Williams]

I shot a pigeon in the garden. What? She meant paper. That's. She's taking the piss.

[Joanne McNally]

Paper. Did we speak about this? She made paint. My kids wanted to color, so I decided to make them paper and crayons. Go to the shop and buy paper. Like, I don't want to do. It's like. And you want to see how long she spent making this paper that looked.

[Vogue Williams]

Is this your one who's married to that lucky?

[Joanne McNally]

It was a different one.

[Vogue Williams]

Some of them are taking the place. No, it's rage. It was, it was rage.

[Joanne McNally]

It was another woman who's like this. She just smiles with her mouth closed and just has this little smirk going up the side of her mouth and that's it.

[Vogue Williams]

I think she's right. I think she's fake. No white woman has an apron. Obviously. Yeah, that's.

[Joanne McNally]

Yeah. I'm gonna try and be like, you're one. The other one who's married to Lucky. I'm gonna start doing videos like that.

[Vogue Williams]

Okay.

[Joanne McNally]

About, like, when I do my. When my cupcakes and stuff. And I'm gonna wear sequins.

[Vogue Williams]

Nice.

[Joanne McNally]

And I'm gonna talk about, like, this 400 gallons of sugar in there.

[Vogue Williams]

I can't bear an affected voice like that. It drives me insane. It makes me want to punch the screen.

[Joanne McNally]

I do. Look at her Instagram and I'm like, I don't, like, I'm all for. I, I really, I, I. Textually, when I went into a deep dive about her, I couldn't get out of the hole. I was watching her for over an hour. And I don't mind that, but I don't want people like. Like, there's no way anyone's life is that perfect. I'm sorry, you don't have time to do all that.

[Vogue Williams]

Chances are he's cheating and she's probably got a yeast infection. Like, nothing is ever the way it seems.

[Joanne McNally]

No.

[Vogue Williams]

And we all know that. I think we just accept now that social media is fake news. Really? She's running a cooking show. Sorry, can we, can we, can we speak about. Speaking of fake news and people cooking, the thing that's got me through the entire weekend.

[Joanne McNally]

What?

[Vogue Williams]

I was gigging my tits off, but I spent most of the weekend watching Apple Cider vinegar and hacks.

[Joanne McNally]

I'm gonna start watching hacks for hacks.

[Vogue Williams]

Apple Cider Vinegar is a Netflix show about. It's a series about Belle Gibson, who is an Australian influencer who we've spoken about before.

[Joanne McNally]

Yeah.

[Vogue Williams]

Who basically faked cancer to set up kind of cookery. Healthy, healthy eating. And she said that she cured her brain tumors through kind of healthy eating and good lifestyle and juicing. Basically, like through cabbage. She basically said she cured it through blueberries and cabbage. And she was raising money for kids that never got it. And she was keeping all herself.

[Joanne McNally]

It was bad.

[Vogue Williams]

It was so bad. Anyway, so there was a series, there's a six part, seven part series about it on Netflix. And it was brilliant because sometimes they don't do good Jobs like Sweet Bobby. The podcast was much better than the show. The TV show was, I think, in comparison.

[Joanne McNally]

Yeah.

[Vogue Williams]

It didn't get into Nitty Gritty, whereas this was really, really good. I'd highly recommend it. She is so sorry.

[Joanne McNally]

This new one is a six part series.

[Vogue Williams]

Yes.

[Joanne McNally]

Because they already had something about it which I thought was a really good watch as well. But I haven't started watching this one.

[Vogue Williams]

This one is fake. It's like a. It's fictionalized. It's not. It's not. It's not a documentary. It's like a fictionalized series. But it's so good. And do you know what I felt for her, which I really didn't expect to feel for. I felt sorry for her. She seems very troubled. Very troubled.

[Joanne McNally]

I mean, if you go do some stuff like that, it's. It's really quite bizarre to be like.

[Vogue Williams]

And then the interviews where they're like, belle, your brother. She's like, well, yeah, things were hard because my brother's autistic. They're like, belle, we just interviewed him. He's very sure he's not autistic. And she's like, well, yeah, he has to say that, like, because, you know, that's what autistic would say. And then it comes to her brother being like, I'm not autistic. I'm not autistic.

[Joanne McNally]

It's also like stealing from charities and stuff.

[Vogue Williams]

And it's also like leading very ill people down a fake path where they're turning. People were turning down treatment and stuff because they're like, well, look at Bell Gibson. She's glowing and she's cured all her brain tumors and everything. Anyway, it. I. There. There seems to be a lot of stories about women faking cancer for attention, sympathy, money, kudos. Status kind of fascinates me.

[Joanne McNally]

I know, but also. And you know what? It's. It's. I don't want to generalize it just being women, but the stories that we hear are of. Did you see that?

[Vogue Williams]

It's very much a woman's crime. It's like poison. It's very much a female way to. Murder is poison. Women's crime seems to be to fake terminal illnesses. But there was definitely something going on. She has that. She has the munchy house.

[Joanne McNally]

The munchie house.

[Vogue Williams]

She has the munchy house.

[Joanne McNally]

I don't even know. I don't think it's the. Maybe it is the one.

[Vogue Williams]

She has something munchy housing going on there.

[Joanne McNally]

Did you see that girl who was basically online and she was making her child sick to try and get people. So she was munch housing.

[Vogue Williams]

Munching. Munching.

[Joanne McNally]

Munching her child. Yeah. And she got caught out doing it.

[Vogue Williams]

I don't know. And like, I'm no. I'm no expert on the Munchausen. I'm sure there's men who suffer from Munchausen as well. And Munchausen by proxy. I never know the difference. But it seems to be all the ones that I read online are all women.

[Joanne McNally]

Let me see. Do you men suffer from Munchausen? There are. There are two separate groups of people affected by Munchausen syndrome. There are women who are 20 to 40 years of age, often with a background in healthcare, and unmarried white men who are 30 to 50 years of age. Yeah. So watch Ace.

[Vogue Williams]

Yes.

[Joanne McNally]

I'm nearly out of that anyway because I've only got a year left. Not even.

[Vogue Williams]

And then you're out of the. You're out of the potential munchies bracket now. Munching for you.

[Joanne McNally]

The munching will be over in about eight months.

[Vogue Williams]

I can start believing you again when you say you're ill. It's been very ropey these last couple years that she's right in the demographic. I can't believe a word that comes out of her mouth.

[Joanne McNally]

She's munching herself again. Yeah, you've got the flu. Vogue. Sure you do.

[Vogue Williams]

Munching away down there, chomping on the attention. Look at her down there. Don't believe her word. She says she's right in the bracket for the most.

[Joanne McNally]

No. Everyone's a shower of bastards. When I'm sick, I'm convinced of it. No one gives me any attention.

[Vogue Williams]

The most famous story of munching.

[Joanne McNally]

Munching housing was Eminem or the Sixth Sense.

[Vogue Williams]

That was Paranormal Activity. Vogue.

[Joanne McNally]

The Sixth Sense, when the girl comes to him and is puking in a pot and she's like, yes.

[Vogue Williams]

Sorry. I was like, no, no, no, no.

[Joanne McNally]

And Eminem rapped about his mom being munching as well.

[Vogue Williams]

Did he? Yeah.

[Joanne McNally]

That's how I found out about it. I found out all my news from em.

[Vogue Williams]

From Eminem. I totally forgot about your one who was. Yeah, she was getting munched up in her room.

[Joanne McNally]

Yeah.

[Vogue Williams]

Six cents. What a great film. What a great twist.

[Joanne McNally]

A terrifying movie.

[Vogue Williams]

I see dead people and then.

[Joanne McNally]

Stop it. Gives me some soda.

[Vogue Williams]

We don't want to ruin the end.

[Joanne McNally]

But I'm sorry if you haven't seen a tough look. Spoiler alert.

[Vogue Williams]

Yeah, fine. Well, it's. It's Bruce's dad.

[Joanne McNally]

Anyway, sorry, that was a bit far.

[Vogue Williams]

Actually, Bruce's dad in the end, turns out Bruce thinks the kid's dead. Turns out the kids alive. Bruce's dad. Like, folks out. If you haven't watched at this stage.

[Joanne McNally]

Tough look, tough look. Now Titanic, what happens?

[Vogue Williams]

Well, I can't remember what else should go down at the end. It's so long since I see it.

[Joanne McNally]

I don't know, I might be mixing it with somebody else, but I think that the ship goes down.

[Vogue Williams]

I think they saved the boat. Did they remember? Yeah.

[Joanne McNally]

How long was the movie for you? 35 minutes.

[Vogue Williams]

My summary of films to be questioned. But I think they saved everyone in Titanic in the end. I wrote poems for you both for Valentine's.

[Joanne McNally]

Oh, go on. Joe's first.

[Vogue Williams]

Joe, I wrote this for you. Thanks, mate. You haven't heard it yet. Joe. Roses are red, violets are blue.

[Joanne McNally]

That sounds so familiar.

[Vogue Williams]

Actually, I made that one. Up. Up. I coined that. Yeah. What are you saying? Okay, I coined that.

[Joanne McNally]

No one's saying anything.

[Vogue Williams]

Roses are red, violets are blue. I may not know your children's names, but I also don't know you. Nice joke that I don't know you're. I wrote another gang. Rosa. Red violets are blue. Joe, who the are you? Nice. Yeah, I thought. No. Let's bring the children in. It's Valentine's Day. It's Fun Vogue. I always. I obviously wrote one for you.

[Joanne McNally]

Okay.

[Vogue Williams]

Her name was Voga. She was a showgirl with yellow ribbons in her hair and a dress cut down there. She did merengue and do the cha cha. And while she tried to be a star. Tony always tend to bar. But then it turns out someone else read something similar. So I've written. So I've written.

[Joanne McNally]

I. I love it.

[Vogue Williams]

You know that song?

[Joanne McNally]

Her name was. Yeah, Lola.

[Vogue Williams]

Okay, so here we go. Rosa, Rachel. Violets are blue. Hold on. No, that was scrapped. I realized that one wasn't. Here we go, here we go. Rose are red, violets are blue. Vogue is my one and only. Apart from obviously Negroni. You like that?

[Joanne McNally]

I did like that.

[Vogue Williams]

It's good, isn't it? Yeah.

[Joanne McNally]

I look forward to my favorite.

[Vogue Williams]

Here we go, here we go again. Here we go. Vogue. Roses are red, violets are blue. My partner in ghosting, who takes a beautiful roaster.

[Joanne McNally]

That's very. Now we know what she does with herself.

[Vogue Williams]

Yeah.

[Joanne McNally]

My partner. Fingas. What are you doing for Valentine's Day?

[Vogue Williams]

Drinking in the bath like I do every year. I have to. I don't.

[Joanne McNally]

It's Lovely. Do you know what I want?

[Vogue Williams]

I don't celebrate Valentine's Day.

[Joanne McNally]

I want a hot tub for the balcony. Imagine we could hot tub.

[Vogue Williams]

You already have a cold tub and a sauna.

[Joanne McNally]

I don't do the cold tub.

[Vogue Williams]

You have a leisure center going on.

[Joanne McNally]

I said, I don't like that. Do you know what I said to myself? I said to myself at the start of the year, I said, I don't like the cold and I don't like getting in that ice bath. I don't see any results from it, and I'm not doing it anymore. And have I done it once? No, and I don't want to do it.

[Vogue Williams]

Apparently, it doesn't do anything for you.

[Joanne McNally]

I did put my face in it one day when I was very hungover. But that did help, I must admit.

[Vogue Williams]

Very 2023. Yeah.

[Joanne McNally]

Had to do it.

[Vogue Williams]

Kate Moss does that. Apparently when she was getting ready for shows, she would dip her face in a bowl of ice.

[Joanne McNally]

Did you see that thing online where Korean people put elastic bands on their ears for 10 minutes and it reduces all the bloating. And somebody put it on one ear and, like, you can see all the bloating go from this side of the face. I thought the person actually looks better with a bit of bloat.

[Vogue Williams]

It triggers lymphatic drainage.

[Joanne McNally]

So let's hold our ears for the rest of the pod.

[Vogue Williams]

It triggers lymphatic drainage, which is something I get regularly, which is because of wine, but I tell myself it's Hormel. So if you're. What if I come to your house and you're wondering where all your hair bobbins are gone? They're on my ears.

[Joanne McNally]

But the hair bobbin work.

[Vogue Williams]

It's anything to trigger the lymphatic drainage.

[Joanne McNally]

Anyway, she knows a lot about stuff like that. Sorry, John, if you don't mind, I'm trying to lymphatic drain my face. Oh, my God. Oh. Do you know, I've given up the scooter as well. Something bad happened. Something real bad. I came into Global yesterday on my scooter because it was raining, and I thought, I'll treat myself and get the tube. So I scooted to the tube because I'm not near a tube. And I came into Global looking a bit frazzled, dragging my scooter up the stairs, and I walked in, and who do I bump into sitting on the couch on my scooter? Keith Lemon. Emma Bunton from the Spice Girls.

[Vogue Williams]

I know Emma Bunton is.

[Joanne McNally]

And Jade her husband.

[Vogue Williams]

So what's wrong with scootering?

[Joanne McNally]

Oh, come on. In front of those three and I bump into them in a scooter. On a scooter. I was. And they all laughed at me.

[Vogue Williams]

They did not.

[Joanne McNally]

Emma didn't laugh. The other two had a giggle. I allowed them to laugh. I was like, don't worry, you can laugh.

[Vogue Williams]

I think there's great street cred in having a scooter.

[Joanne McNally]

I don't know about that name. It's at home. I don't know if it's gonna make its way back out of that home.

[Vogue Williams]

If someone likes me that much, I just feel like they're ill informed. Do you know what I mean?

[Joanne McNally]

Self confidence.

[Vogue Williams]

I'm like, oh, God no. Like, come.

[Joanne McNally]

On.

[Vogue Williams]

I've also been up to bits and bobs.

[Joanne McNally]

What were you doing this weekend?

[Vogue Williams]

This weekend I was gigging, but I also. I'm in this weird scrap. So there's a. There's a couple of coffee shops in my local area. There's not a huge amount of them, but I kind of spread myself around. Maybe three of them, right? And one of them, the manager, doesn't like me. Now I'm in there, I use it as a workspace, but I eat and drink all day. So just for clarity, I'm not just sitting in there, like over in Americano, I'm talking breakfast. Then an hour later, I'm on my lunch menu. I have coffee, I'll have a glass of wine. Like, it's not like I'm sitting there. I spend money in that place. Yeah, I spend money in that place. I've been working. I worked in there until I started seeing a guy who lived above us. And he started bringing. I was dating him and he was also dating other people. And he started bringing his dates into the coffee shop. And then the waitress told me and so I had to abandon the coffee shop. But he's now moved away. So I'm back in the coffee shop. I've taken it back in the divorce.

[Joanne McNally]

He wasn't what you'd be looking for.

[Vogue Williams]

Yeah, he wasn't. We weren't looking for the same thing anyway. He was looking for a woman with 16 vaginas. So. Anyway, the manager hates me now. I've suspected he's hated me for a while. I don't know what I've done to deserve it.

[Joanne McNally]

How does he show that he hates you? He.

[Vogue Williams]

Very much. He's very mean to me. He's. He's dismissive.

[Joanne McNally]

I bet he's not mean at all. What has he done to me?

[Vogue Williams]

I Was like, the WI fi shit in there. And I was like, can I get the WI fi code? Like, I'm in here every day. It's basically my office. And they're like, manager said he won't give a. And I was like, come on. I've spent thousands and thousands.

[Joanne McNally]

One of those people who thinks that, like, you're going to, like, I don't know, get something off their website or some bollocks.

[Vogue Williams]

Oh, I mean, like, on your computer. Yeah, yeah. I should probably show my phone.

[Joanne McNally]

I don't even have words.

[Vogue Williams]

I don't even have the world Wide Web. I write a book in calligraphy. But anyway, so I was in. I went in on Saturday, and Saturday is really busy, obviously. And I went in as a type for one, please. And he was like. Like, are you willing? Like, straight away, he didn't want to. He was annoyed I was in. And he's like, are you willing to wait over 45 minutes for food and over 30 minutes for drinks?

[Joanne McNally]

He said that to you before you sat down?

[Vogue Williams]

And I went, well, no. And he goes, well, that's what it is, love.

[Joanne McNally]

You didn't. Love. He's love.

[Vogue Williams]

No, but he's Italian or something, so it's like. It's what? It's still. He goes, well, that's what it is, love. We're in our. This is our busiest time.

[Joanne McNally]

Sorry, 35 minutes for a drink, over.

[Vogue Williams]

45 minutes for food and over 30 minutes for drinks. And I was like, well, no. He goes, well, that's what it is, love. This is our busiest time. And I went, okay. And he goes, well, okay. And I left. And then I remembered one time. One time I said, I'm waiting on a coffee. One time I said, I'm waiting on a coffee. And he was so pissed off about it. So now I'm, like, scrapping with them. If I saw him, I think I would say, what's going on with us?

[Joanne McNally]

I. I feel like there's a weird.

[Vogue Williams]

Vibe and I'd love to just. I'd love to just chat it out.

[Joanne McNally]

I would, to be honest with you. I would actually just say to him, I'd be like, yeah, but I just literally be like, I. Like, I love coming in here. Like, I really enjoy coming here. I love the food.

[Vogue Williams]

I don't actually. The WI Fi shit. And it's overpriced. But, yeah, go on.

[Joanne McNally]

Go to the. What's it called? The Pear Tree in Battersea Park. Very accommodating.

[Vogue Williams]

The next time I see him, I'm gonna say, I'm gonna have a glass of wine because I can't. I know. I'm very bad.

[Joanne McNally]

Do you want me to come down there for you? I'll say, what's my friend? What has she done? Tell Mama. What has she done? Valentine's.

[Vogue Williams]

It's today. It's literally we're going. We're airing on the National Day of Love.

[Joanne McNally]

No one does anything on Valentine's Day. No, I mean, I'll be on an airplane on Valentine's Day.

[Vogue Williams]

Where are you going?

[Joanne McNally]

Joanne, I haven't been away in three weeks.

[Vogue Williams]

Oh, God. I know. Do you even know where you're going or are you just getting on the plane? Is it just time to get on a plane?

[Joanne McNally]

It's half term with the kids. We're going skiing. Sheep. Sheep.

[Vogue Williams]

Oh, my God.

[Joanne McNally]

I'm only back. Joanne, I will not have you speak to me like that.

[Vogue Williams]

Is there any snow left, though?

[Joanne McNally]

I'll tell you what.

[Vogue Williams]

Have you not shoop. Shooped it all away?

[Joanne McNally]

Haven't shooped it away yet. And you know what else? I've also booked a holiday for after the holiday because at least I now know that there's another holiday coming. So. I'm sorry.

[Vogue Williams]

I remember my day in my midterm. We were sent out the front of the house with a stick.

[Joanne McNally]

So were we. I'm making up for that.

[Vogue Williams]

Yeah. We were never. We were never as entertained as these children.

[Joanne McNally]

Joanne, I come from a broken home. I want my children to have a better life.

[Vogue Williams]

I don't think rich homes can be broken. I just don't think they can.

[Joanne McNally]

It wasn't rich at the start.

[Vogue Williams]

It wasn't rich at the start. We were lucky if we went to Trbogan.

[Joanne McNally]

Oh, my God. I don't think I ever got to go to Trbogan. I did. I do remember. I. We went to the Rainbow Rapids. That was close to the house.

[Vogue Williams]

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Where they. It was so. It was so hardcore. The Rainbow Rapids, they were like little tubes that they'd push you down. Water slides, I guess is what you call them.

[Joanne McNally]

Yeah, yeah.

[Vogue Williams]

And they'd be all like kids, toes stuck to the last property board and everything.

[Joanne McNally]

It was kind of imagine something like center parks when you were younger. Like, we never had anything. We were putting cold water along lot.

[Vogue Williams]

Well, my. I wish my mother had been a podcaster, forward slash writer, forward slash presenter, forward slash collaborator, because she would have had more free time. Sadly, she had a 9 to 5. So we were just pushed into a babysitters for the week.

[Joanne McNally]

We used to have.

[Vogue Williams]

Pat wasn't collabing with Disneyland.

[Joanne McNally]

You got a babysitter. We were just shoved out onto the street. I'm gonna be cycling around in knickers.

[Vogue Williams]

Covered in round feces.

[Joanne McNally]

No, we were always clean. Naked foot clean.

[Vogue Williams]

We had. We were sent a child minders. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, of course. And fish fingers and weak Ribena. And it was all that jazz, you know, really weak delete. Really weak dilutant. Like, it was just water with, like a. Like a teeny tiny bit of flavor in it.

[Joanne McNally]

We used to have that. And then obviously, when we met Neil, our lives kind of turned around a bit because Neil had a bit of cash and Alexander used to try. Used to drink straight. My wadi would know.

[Vogue Williams]

Jesus, that man was living. That's living.

[Joanne McNally]

There was no constraint on Alexander.

[Vogue Williams]

I love, love that. That's like the high. That's like the highest level of luxury. That's like me using ice cream. Me using. I cream my old face. That's what I aim for. That's what I want to work towards.

[Joanne McNally]

Come on. Also, don't bother with the water. Don't bother.

[Vogue Williams]

That's so funny. He's like, I've made it now, girls, look at this.

[Joanne McNally]

We were still Russians, though. We were still Russians. Yeah, we were used to that.

[Vogue Williams]

Anyway. Valentine's Day. Are you romantic yourself?

[Joanne McNally]

Oh, would you say, am I romantic myself? I think that I am romantic. Going back to the chicken pie, I thought that that was romantic of me to, like. I think cooking meals, I am romantic in those kind of ways. Or like, if somebody tells me, like, something that they really like, I'll remember it and, like, I'll get it for their. For their birthday or for Christmas or something. Like. So I'm not just romantic with partners.

[Vogue Williams]

Your love languages. Acts of Search service, I believe.

[Joanne McNally]

Yeah, that's actually not so bad. Are you romantic?

[Vogue Williams]

No.

[Joanne McNally]

You're not at all.

[Vogue Williams]

I can't stand it. Not even when I was with. Not even when I had partners. Not even back when I was in the rat race, the romantic rat race. Was I ever actually romantic. I like to pine. I like to be the admirer. I don't enjoy being admired to, like, per se. And I knew it was a con. I remember very well. I was in bed with a boyfriend of mine at the time. And I actually wrote a piece about romance for the Irish Times. They took this out for legal reasons, but I'll say it on the pod. I was in bed with this guy and we were going out. We were living together and he turned to me and was like, I'm really sorry. There's a band I want to see and they're only here for. For Valentine's Day. Would you mind if I wasn't here on Valentine's Day? And I was like, I've never expressed an interest in Valentine's Day. I don't know why you think I'd care. And he was cheating on me at the time. And I was like, I'd much rather you weren't riding your trainer, but sure, okay, yeah, I didn't get a shit. Go see your band. I was like, why would I? I don't care about Valentine's Day. That's what I knew. I was like, this is an absolute con.

[Joanne McNally]

It is. Do you know, I used to try and make something out of it. And I remember, like, when I was younger when, like, if you had a boyfriend, you had to be going out in Valentine's Day.

[Vogue Williams]

And I remember pressure was big.

[Joanne McNally]

So I had a boyfriend at the time, and he was painting, doing a job, painting somewhere. And I was gone at my dad and. And I went out with my dad. I know. And I went out my dad. A man of very few words.

[Vogue Williams]

Oh, God, no.

[Joanne McNally]

I went out my dad because I thought it was cute. And then I was like, this is actually a bit weird now that I think about it, now that we're here amongst all these couples in love. Anyway, we went. I got arranged and then, like, went home and my. My boyfriend at the time came to meet me, and, like, we ended up having a massive fight and he left and he wasn't even drunk.

[Vogue Williams]

Yeah. Valentine's Day, it's. It's a. I'd say people thought you were Freddy's date from what I hear about Freddie.

[Joanne McNally]

I think I get it. You fancy my dad, for God's sake.

[Vogue Williams]

I believe that we would have had a vibe. I've said that repeatedly.

[Joanne McNally]

I. I just think Valentine's Day. I'm not. But when you were younger, I feel like you were really worried about not having something to do with it. And that's why, like, I like the idea of Galentine's and palantines, but, like, who actually cares?

[Vogue Williams]

Valentine's Day, I'm just gonna call it. It's embarrassing. Even my mother.

[Joanne McNally]

It's.

[Vogue Williams]

My mother was saying she. My dad one time sent her in because she. She's retired now. I sent her in, like, a big thing of roses into the hospital, and she was so embarrassed that she covered it with a bin bag to get it out because she didn't Want. She was like, that's not how I present in work. Like, I'm hardcore. Like, I'm Sister McNally. Like, I don't. I'm not romantic. You know, I laugh in the face of death. Exactly. Yeah. I'm not gonna, like, gush over a rose. That's not how we. That's not how I roll. I told me they're gonna bin bag.

[Joanne McNally]

I know. I do like a flower. Remember I said years ago, I didn't like a flower. I do like a flower. I bought three bouquets of flowers, if that's what you call them, in the shop around the corner, for people in my life. And I thought that that was a nice thing, Valentine's Day roses. But then I said to Spen last night, because you'd asked me this question if I was romantic or not. I said, are you romantic? And he goes, yeah, I am. And I was like, how? And he was like, well, sometimes I buy you flowers. I was like, yeah, but that's not. That's not that romantic. And I was like, tell me other things. And he was like, well, I don't know. And I was like, oh. Oh, my God. You're not romantic. But we have been fooled into thinking that he is romantic.

[Vogue Williams]

But actually, you don't think he is?

[Joanne McNally]

I don't think so.

[Vogue Williams]

Flair is on occasion. As someone who has. Who isn't like, has. As someone who I don't buy into romance at all because it embarrasses me, which is my own problem. I'm going to see a specialist about it. Actually. Someone reached out recently. Do you want me to help you through this dark time? Yeah, this very dark time. Him. I was like, yeah, it. Go on. Because it's all, like they say, it's. It's just embarrassment. It's being Irish. I think a lot of it's being Irish. But I think flowers are romantic.

[Joanne McNally]

Like, flowers are romantic. But, like. I mean, I don't think that, like, I. Like. He said, like, I'll tell you something, somebody did that was romantic for me. I remember I was going out with this guy, and I, like. I think it might. It might have been either Valentine's or an anniversary. And he got me this big, huge box. And inside the box he'd made this box, there were loads of different compartments. And in the compartments, like, one compartment was balsamic vinegar, because I love balsamic vinegar. Another compartment was this hair dryer I really wanted. And another compartment was like a flump or something. So, like, all these things.

[Vogue Williams]

So nice.

[Joanne McNally]

That's really romantic because there's taut in that.

[Vogue Williams]

They're like, oh, I know that you like these little things and it's not a big expense.

[Joanne McNally]

Well, the hair dryer, it was a paradox that was. That was expensive first.

[Vogue Williams]

I mean, if someone gave me a flump now I'd be like, cheers. Thanks.

[Joanne McNally]

I love Plumps.

[Vogue Williams]

I mean, if some. If someone gave to me as a Valentine's Day present, I'd be like, you're a tight bastard.

[Joanne McNally]

It was the, it was the whole mix of it, but like today's money and iron t school and they were like, they. Some of the kids had made Valentine's cards that they were selling really nice ones. And I was like, here, we'll get those two. So we basically bought our Valentine's Day cards together. Now we have to fill them out.

[Vogue Williams]

But like, that's nice.

[Joanne McNally]

That's about it. Like, I suppose you have to just kind like.

[Vogue Williams]

I know. I just find it all a bit embarrassing. And even I get secondhand. Like, if, if, if. If Spencer sent flowers in here now.

[Joanne McNally]

As some kind of embarrassed for me.

[Vogue Williams]

I'd be embarrassed best for everyone. I just get embarrassed. I don't know why. It just embarrasses me. Even seeing women on the train with flowers. I'm embarrassed. I don't know why.

[Joanne McNally]

Women on the train, flowers.

[Vogue Williams]

It's like a thread. I just embarrassed.

[Joanne McNally]

I. I look at it, I'm like, ah, yeah.

[Vogue Williams]

I don't know why. And like I say it was. Even when I was in relationships, I found it embarrassing. Do you know what I've started doing? And I don't know why, And I spoke to a lot about it recently and he told me to stop doing that. When I go on dates with guys, I've started paying for the dinner. So I keep paying for the dinner. So like the first date, I'll like, make sure. I'll go up and pay and I'll.

[Joanne McNally]

Why?

[Vogue Williams]

I don't know. I think I tried to unpack it and I was like this. It's obviously some sort of financial flex that I'm saying, I don't need you, I don't need your money. I'm gonna do this thing. But then it kind of upsets the whole dynamic of it all and. And then I don't really respect them anymore. Isn't that terrible?

[Joanne McNally]

You don't respect them because you haven't given them a chance to pay for the dinner.

[Vogue Williams]

Some of them I have given a chance and I'm like, no, I'll get it. They're like, are you sure? And I'm like, yeah, I'll get it. And I'm like, I, I will get it.

[Joanne McNally]

Yeah, but sometimes when you do.

[Vogue Williams]

But I would judge you for letting me get it.

[Joanne McNally]

Yeah, but sometimes when I've been out with you, you're like, no, no, no, no. And you're quite insistent that you'll get it.

[Vogue Williams]

Yeah, but that's different, cuz it's you.

[Joanne McNally]

I know, but I wonder if you're doing that with fellas.

[Vogue Williams]

I, I am. I don't respect them after. And that's not so terrible. Like I'm the one forcing myself to do it. But there is a point where they could, they could stop me, they could slap my hand away.

[Joanne McNally]

Yeah, like, I mean, I like Spencer, for instance, he used to say to me, he was like, oh, I, I'm. I always pay for everything. And I was like, no, me you don't. And like I really was against that. I was like, no, I'm paying my way. And my God, do I regret it now.

[Vogue Williams]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. I'm just gonna say, hey, Jim, can I speak to you for a second? Because I always think that's a really good way to start a conversation because, you know, something serious. Can I talk to you outside for a second?

[Joanne McNally]

Oh God, I feel like I'm getting dumped.

[Vogue Williams]

I did a call out for the moment when actually because we're all about growth and accountability. As much as we love to call all our exes narcissistic gaslighting bastard, sometimes we do have a role to play. Sometimes not always. Sometimes.

[Joanne McNally]

I used to have a friend that used to call all of her exes, oh well, he's gay. And I was like, how are they all gay?

[Vogue Williams]

Yeah, they're not all guys. You know what I mean? It's like we all say, we all tell ourselves what we need to hear to make it all okay.

[Joanne McNally]

Yeah, yeah, he's not.

[Vogue Williams]

Well, yeah, maybe he's a narcissistic gay man. And then there's nothing I couldn't. If there was nothing I could have done there, you know, a lot of them. So we. I did a shout out to saying, tell me the moment you realized you might have been the problem or relationships where you realized you were the problem. A lot of people writing back going, how dare you? I've never been the problem.

[Joanne McNally]

Fair.

[Vogue Williams]

Getting banned from KFC for throwing chicken in his face. Neither was. There was quite a lot of altercations.

[Joanne McNally]

Okay. Okay.

[Vogue Williams]

Yeah, a lot of like people throwing things at their car and you know.

[Joanne McNally]

Violence is not the answer.

[Vogue Williams]

It's never the answer. But chicken in the face in KFC is surely fine. That's just passion.

[Joanne McNally]

I don't think I've ever even thrown a drink in someone's face.

[Vogue Williams]

Oh, you should once. One. One drink in the face. I've never done it either, but I'd hope that it's the option on the horizon.

[Joanne McNally]

No, we respect each other far too much to that.

[Vogue Williams]

Yeah. You wouldn't waste the drink.

[Joanne McNally]

No, I'd be licking it off her face. Like, don't waste it. Wrap.

[Vogue Williams]

Trying to funnel it back into the bottle.

[Joanne McNally]

Ringing her hair out.

[Vogue Williams]

I realized I was the problem. When I couldn't go a day without him, I realized I was the problem.

[Joanne McNally]

That's a really good one. When I couldn't go there. If you get too obsessed.

[Vogue Williams]

Yeah. It's like, codependent, isn't it?

[Joanne McNally]

Or.

[Vogue Williams]

Sorry, it's not codependent. You're just. You're the only one.

[Joanne McNally]

You're like a little barnacle clinging on for dear life.

[Vogue Williams]

Yeah. Yeah. But then I always wonder. People talk about codependency. I'm like, is that not just what being in love is? Is.

[Joanne McNally]

I know. But you know what? Because I'm so obsessed with death, I'm like, I don't want to. Like, Like, I think about things. I'm like, okay, if Spencer wasn't around, like, would I have enough people to hang around with? Like, I do consider that.

[Vogue Williams]

Yeah.

[Joanne McNally]

And I do. So we're fine.

[Vogue Williams]

Yeah. You do? Yeah. Just do a racky every now and again. Like, oh, yeah, if he died, it'd actually be fine today.

[Joanne McNally]

Yeah, Actually, yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Still fine.

[Vogue Williams]

I'm building a circle of friends for when Spencer dies. Would you like to join?

[Joanne McNally]

Get my ducks in her.

[Vogue Williams]

Pressured him into talking about his childhood trauma when I wasn't a therapist. And I absolutely broke him.

[Joanne McNally]

Oh.

[Vogue Williams]

Got. Got drunk, fell over backwards in the bedroom. Never saw him again. The vis. The visual of a woman falling backwards, like, that's quite the fall. Like, usually gravity would take you forwards. Falling backwards is. It's a statement. It's a statement.

[Joanne McNally]

Do you remember you stood on that glass with your foot? Oh, yeah. That's like a story that I'll always remember.

[Vogue Williams]

Yeah. And me and my ex tried to wrap it up, and then he was like, you're really bleeding out there.

[Joanne McNally]

It was really bad.

[Vogue Williams]

Yeah, it was really bad. Still really scarred. Hard. Quite cool. I think, when I threw his. I'm sorry. Cake out the window. I mean, that's. I think that's actually fine. Loved picking fights with my ex. Secretly wanting him to dump me so I get pity for my friends when I threw a chair at him for not making me dinner.

[Joanne McNally]

This is very progressive that people are thinking of the things that they did wrong. Possibly.

[Vogue Williams]

And then the micro penis guy always mails me about his micro penis. Obviously just come in going, do you want to see my micro penis?

[Joanne McNally]

I Can you say yes, I would like to see the micropenis. Tell them to.

[Vogue Williams]

I should actually I should just respond.

[Joanne McNally]

Will you send them my. Send them my details.

[Vogue Williams]

Private details. You know the way I have that person who sends me meow all the time.

[Joanne McNally]

Yeah.

[Vogue Williams]

I've. Someone started out sending me woof.

[Joanne McNally]

Oh very nice.

[Vogue Williams]

I insisted on staying in his bed while his girlfriend from London was downstairs. He left me there. Lol. I mean replying good morning like I just woken up and I was still actually on an all night bench.

[Joanne McNally]

Oh, is that your man who mailed in for the bonus last week? Morning. We've all done that. That's not being the problem. That's being smart.

[Vogue Williams]

That's just being smart.

[Joanne McNally]

Come on.

[Vogue Williams]

Come on. They don't own all your time.

[Joanne McNally]

The only thing is like if you're like if you do spelling mistakes and stuff like that and you get caught out with that.

[Vogue Williams]

Someone wrote this after four dates. I bumped into him at a bar on another date and I joined them for a drink.

[Joanne McNally]

Oh no, I don't. I, I actually think, I don't think there's anything wrong with that.

[Vogue Williams]

Really.

[Joanne McNally]

That's really embarrassing. But it is like something you would do when you're younger.

[Vogue Williams]

Dave, what are you doing here? He's like oh my God. Like and you're trying to make it okay. So you go, you go too hardcore and you're like I'll join you.

[Joanne McNally]

And then ah, lurking around. Come on. We all do really embarrassing stuff like that.

[Vogue Williams]

Like and then Dave is praying that it kicks off and he brings them back to the room that they really get. Dave is like oh my God. My fantasies have all come at once.

[Joanne McNally]

Spencer once got. Wrote me a song. That's right. And he filled a bath with rose petals. It's written down here. I just forgot.

[Vogue Williams]

Jesus.

[Joanne McNally]

That's quite good. I mean he wrote, he wrote me a song. He paid someone else to write the song.

[Vogue Williams]

He outsourced because he's a businessman.

[Joanne McNally]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Vogue Williams]

Trust me, I, I outsourced that in a groaning thing.

[Joanne McNally]

Did you? No you didn't. I'll be asking for my money back.

[Vogue Williams]

Imagine if that was Chachi BT's best effort at a. I would add a son of provoke. That's it for this week. We hope we've filled you with bitterness and romance.

[Joanne McNally]

Yeah. Yeah. Our favorite things.

[Vogue Williams]

A bitter romance. A bitter sense of romance.

[Joanne McNally]

Thank you for my poem.

[Vogue Williams]

You're so welcome. Thank you, Jo. Anything you want to say? Thank you for my poem. Joe, I don't hear.

[Joanne McNally]

Stop trying to make it happen, Sam.