Spain, Wimbledon & Glastonbury

Summary

Episode Summary: Spain, Wimbledon & Glastonbury

Release Date: July 18, 2025
Hosts: Joanne McNally & Vogue Williams
Guest: Joe Ottowell

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1. Welcoming Back and Holiday Updates (00:02 – 08:19)

The episode kicks off with Joanne McNally and Vogue Williams reuniting after a brief hiatus. Joanne humorously expresses relief at being back, saying, “Thank God I don't see those two pricks,” highlighting their playful dynamic. Vogue shares updates about their transition to full video episodes available on YouTube, mentioning, “I love how we were like, right, we... are getting full hair and makeup because we're not having full videos up without hair and makeup” (00:46).

Joanne dives into skincare banter, discussing the resurgence of toner and her skepticism towards it. Vogue chimes in, reminiscing about her "clear silver days" and the purpose of toning to "close your pores" after cleansing (03:05). Their light-hearted conversation sets a relaxed tone for the episode.

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2. Holiday in Spain: Experiences and Wardrobe Woes (06:19 – 14:30)

Vogue shares her experience of relocating to Spain for the summer, managing work remotely while enjoying the serene environment. She mentions, “It's easier to get work done here because nothing's too distracting,” contrasting it with more exotic destinations (07:09). Joanne humorously criticizes Vogue's wardrobe situation, leading to a discussion about clothing choices for events like Wimbledon.

Joanne recounts attending Wimbledon with Vogue and receiving unsolicited outfit critiques from the audience. “I thought your dress was lovely. I thought you looked lovely,” she reflects, despite negative comments online (11:00). This segues into a conversation about maternal advice on fashion, with Joanne sharing a detailed text from her mother advising her on appropriate attire for Wimbledon (13:55).

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3. Navigating Dating and Personal Boundaries (18:05 – 28:05)

The hosts shift focus to their personal dating lives. Joanne narrates her struggles with dating, including tedious dates where men attempt to "score" her without genuine connection. She humorously laments, “I'm dead inside. I said, there's no point having genitals anymore” (19:52). Vogue and Joanne discuss the challenges of modern dating, emphasizing the importance of mutual respect and genuine interest.

Joanne shares a specific incident where a date tried to force intimacy, leading her to firmly reject his advances: “I'm not doing tepid tongue anymore. I'm out” (27:40). This candid conversation highlights their assertive approach to setting boundaries and rejecting unfulfilling romantic encounters.

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4. Glastonbury Ticket Scam: A Cautionary Tale (29:03 – 38:36)

A significant portion of the episode delves into a scam involving Glastonbury tickets. Joanne reveals she fell victim to a private concierge service scam, losing £2,000 while the scammer pocketed £100,000 from numerous victims. She describes the scammer's elaborate deceit, including using his parents' address for business and blaming Albanian drug lords for his fraudulent activities (29:16).

Vogue adds that the scammer mimicked successful personalities, drawing parallels to fictional characters like Frank Abagnale from "Catch Me If You Can." The hosts express empathy for the scammer's parents, who were unsuspectingly drawn into the fraud, highlighting the emotional toll on all parties involved (30:50). They discuss the broader implications of such scams and share anecdotes about others who have faced similar disappointments.

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5. Festival Experiences and Social Perceptions (34:07 – 37:05)

Joanne and Vogue reminisce about their Glastonbury experiences, touching upon the stigma of drug use at festivals. Joanne shares a story about a friend, Nell, who was mistakenly accused of being on drugs due to her disoriented behavior from substances like mushrooms. She humorously clarifies, “He's walking through... I'm so glad you took it,” referencing misconceptions about her own behavior during the festival (36:20).

Vogue contrasts this by expressing her enthusiasm for future festivals, despite the challenges: “I was like, what would Joanne do? Cop onto yourself and get out there, have a double tequila and go on lines where everyone can accuse you of doing drugs” (35:30). Their banter underscores the complex social dynamics and personal responsibilities at large gatherings.

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6. Fashion and Personal Style (17:02 – 27:32)

Fashion remains a recurring theme as Joanne and Vogue critique each other's outfits and share their personal style preferences. They debate the merits of materials like linen and polyester, with Joanne dismissing linen as “awful” while Vogue defends her love for linen attire in warmer climates (18:29). Their playful exchanges about fashion choices and societal expectations highlight their distinct personalities and mutual respect.

Joanne recounts a particularly embarrassing fashion moment at a birthday party, where her gesture of generosity backfired, leading to unintended disappointment for a child recipient. “When I handed it over to her, I realized with her little face... this child doesn't want this bag” (21:04). This story emphasizes the complexities of gift-giving and societal perceptions of appropriateness.

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7. Closing Remarks and Future Plans (39:13 – 40:15)

As the episode wraps up, Joanne and Vogue reflect on their time apart and express excitement about returning to regular podcasting. They reaffirm their commitment to providing honest and unfiltered conversations, teasing future discussions and adventures. The hosts conclude with a heartfelt exchange, celebrating their enduring friendship and collaborative spirit: “I feel like I'VE had a break... it's not the same without you” (40:10).

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Notable Quotes:

• Joanne McNally: “Thank God I don't see those two pricks.” (00:46)
• Vogue Williams: “I love how we... are getting full hair and makeup because we're not having full videos up without hair and makeup.” (00:46)
• Joanne McNally: “I'm dead inside. I said, there's no point having genitals anymore.” (19:52)
• Vogue Williams: “I was like, what would Joanne do? Cop onto yourself and get out there, have a double tequila and go on lines where everyone can accuse you of doing drugs.” (35:30)
• Joanne McNally: “When I handed it over to her, I realized with her little face... this child doesn't want this bag.” (21:04)

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Key Takeaways:

• Authentic Conversations: Joanne and Vogue maintain a candid and humorous dialogue, making personal anecdotes relatable and engaging.
• Navigating Scams: The Glastonbury ticket scam serves as a cautionary tale about the prevalence of fraud in high-demand events.
• Personal Boundaries: The hosts emphasize the importance of setting boundaries in personal relationships and standing firm against unwanted advances.
• Fashion Dynamics: Their playful debates on fashion reflect broader societal expectations and personal identity expressions.
• Festival Culture: The discussion on festival experiences sheds light on the social perceptions and realities of large gatherings.

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For more engaging and honest discussions, subscribe to "My Therapist Ghosted Me" on your preferred podcast platform or visit mytherapistghostedme.com.

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Transcript

[Joanne McNally]

This is a Global Player original podcast. Hello, welcome back to my therapist ghosted me with me, Joanne McNally and my co host and trad life Vogue, William Williams.

[Vogue Williams]

We're back.

[Joanne McNally]

Hello back. We're back. Vogue. I'm sorry, I can, I'm, I can only apologize behalf of myself and Joe. But you were. You're back. Looking at us. She couldn't get. She couldn't wait to get away from us. How'd you feel? You've been away from us for two weeks. Do you feel good?

[Vogue Williams]

I'm. I'm trying to be on holidays, please. I think that the break. Well, I mean we've spoken to each other and we have been out with each other so just to be quite honest with you Joanne, there wasn't a real break. Well, I've loved us.

[Joanne McNally]

I've woken up every day and said, thank God I don't see those two pricks. But we're back. We're back. Joe, did you do anything nice?

[Joe Ottowell]

I just made preparations for our episodes to be in full video, which they now are. You can watch them on YouTube and global player on Monday.

[Joanne McNally]

We're in full video. You're just, you're just feeding us into YouTube right now, is that right, Joe? We're going live. Yeah.

[Vogue Williams]

I love how we were like, right, we. If we're doing YouTube, sorry, but we're getting full hair and makeup because we're not having full videos up without hair and makeup. I saw Joanne and you do look very well, so I didn't even have mascara on to begin with, so the effort from my side has already been minimal.

[Joanne McNally]

Well, you're on holidays, you know what I mean?

[Vogue Williams]

This is true.

[Joanne McNally]

And I've been up icing my puff face for the last 45 minutes, holding the ice cubes in my bare hands. In my bare hands because I lost my. I refused to buy those plastic bits of off temu. So I've been ice rolling, I've used under eye patches. I even slept so I could keep in my space buns that I got done for a shoot yesterday. Now this is, this is episode one. Trust me, by the bonus, in two days time I'll be back in my pajamas.

[Vogue Williams]

I have to say I was quite disappointed to see the way you turned yourself out today because I thought we were on the same page.

[Joanne McNally]

But. And well, you, you, you, you have a natural way about you. I just put in a 12 hour shift.

[Vogue Williams]

Excuse me, I had eye patches under my eyes this morning, thank you very much. Sometimes I actually put eye patches under my eyes. Before I even leave my bedroom because my eyes are so black that, like, some mornings are blacker than others. Like, I have such bad circles that I'm like, I'll just put on an eye patch so I don't have to frighten anyone.

[Joanne McNally]

You need. You need to learn to use that weird green concealer that comes in every little concealer box. And no one ever knows how to use it. It's something to do with coloring. Speaking of heavy hitting news, did you hear toners back? Did you hear her tone? Did you?

[Vogue Williams]

No. Come on, did you ever tone?

[Joanne McNally]

No. No, I don't know what it is. No, I never tone back. When toner first came on the scene, I was still using nail polish to clean my face, but so now toner's back.

[Vogue Williams]

Who told you toner? Amber's still using face wipes.

[Joanne McNally]

Dr. Katrina Ryan, our in house dermatologist, told me the toner's back. So I've been checking for any uninitiated.

[Joe Ottowell]

Listeners that don't know what that is. What is toner?

[Joanne McNally]

No idea. Joe.

[Joe Ottowell]

All right, okay.

[Vogue Williams]

It's you. Do you do cleanse and tone? It was meant to be. It. It goes in a. Yeah, it goes in a row. It's just this water. But I like. You're meant to cleanse and it opens your pores and then tone and it closes your pores. That's all. I remember it from my clear silver days.

[Joanne McNally]

I'm happy to tone my arse. I've no interest in tone in my face, but I am willing to give it a go because I do everything Katrina tells me to. But anyway, Vogue, tell us, how's your holiday?

[Vogue Williams]

I have to show you. You're talking about tone in yours. I have to show you this picture from yesterday. It was like, what the. I have worked so hard on my ars. Wait until you see. It's like. It's like it goes back legs. There's no, like, wait, let's see this picture. Oh, look. No, I got myself. Look at that. Rs.

[Joanne McNally]

Is it because it's quite flat? Is that.

[Vogue Williams]

I think it's because I was tensing forward. You know what I mean? I was tensing my arse. I'm pushing forward.

[Joanne McNally]

Oh, okay. So you're saying that the arse isn't the size that you think it is in real life.

[Vogue Williams]

I know. And I. I've been going for hill runs and stuff. Hill runs? Not even walks. And I'm like, my arse is going to be massive. And then I saw that picture yesterday and I Was like, brady, if you're going to post that picture, cut out the arse.

[Joanne McNally]

It's hard. It's hard being a white woman. We have our own challenges, okay? We're. We don't get enough. We don't get enough sympathy for them. And building the arse is one of the obstacles in the way. I could squat all day and all night and I still have a pathetically flat earth. Doesn't matter what you do. We need to go for bbls.

[Vogue Williams]

I'm sorry, but I see some white men with fantastic arses. One I saw walking around the hills. That's why I started running around the hills. I said, I'm walking around the hills here. And I was like, look at that horse. Where did he get that from? And he was ripped everywhere else. And just this gorgeous iris.

[Joanne McNally]

Yeah, he's gay. He's putting in the work. That would be my take on that. When I'm in the gym and I see the lads focusing only on the iris area, I'm like, hi, yeah, see you down the George.

[Vogue Williams]

Yeah.

[Joanne McNally]

Do you know what I mean? Yeah. You need to take on that. You need to take on the fitness regime of a gay man. They're all about the buttocks. Glutes galore. Speaking of naked fit gays, you'd want to see, like, obviously, I live in Clapham Common and it's. The sun's out, the bones are out. There is more towards so than a slaughterhouse at the moment. There isn't a top to be seen. And what. When I say these lads, I know, I. Everyone's like, oh, the clap and gays. I never see them. Do you know, I don't see them because they're in the gym. I have there as biceps and triceps and tits and nips. Even their nipples are ripped. They're not for me. They couldn't give a. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. But it's impressive. It is impressive.

[Vogue Williams]

I'm in Spain, I'm having a great time. I love it. It's kind of like. I don't really like to say full holiday because I am working here. I just kind of relocate for the summer because my mom goes away. She actually. She tried to drop the bomb yesterday. She was like, we might not leave as early next year. I thought, sorry, yes, you will. You'll get out of here when we are. The swap is happening. She even kindly made the tiniest bit of wardrobe space in her wardrobe. And when I say the tiniest bit, she has. This place has got four bedrooms that she owns. And every single wardrobe is filled to the brim. She's a room outside that's a storage room full of hats. She must have 250 hats. And she's asked me a bit more packages that are. Yeah, she. I didn't lick it off the ground. She has a serious shopping problem. I'm actually. I'm worried about her. That's how bad it is.

[Joanne McNally]

Check her in somewhere, get her sectioned.

[Vogue Williams]

It is just too much. But anyway, yeah, so we're having a great time down here. What's been going on? Nothing really. Amber's here with us. I've been going for runs with many. I had a couple of drinks. Just, you know.

[Joanne McNally]

Yourself, chilling.

[Vogue Williams]

I've only. I've only been here for a couple of days chilling. I'm already getting the messages. What does she even do really?

[Joanne McNally]

That's why I had to record time. Is it?

[Vogue Williams]

All they do is go on holidays. I'm not on holidays. It's a working trip.

[Joanne McNally]

I'm just working remotely in an exotic country. Well, it's not exotic Spain. It's not even exotic. I know.

[Vogue Williams]

I'll tell you what, I feel like I'll end up like I'm going to start spending more and more time here. It's just so relaxing. You can actually work here. Cuz you know when I've said it before when you go to certain places and they're like not saying that Spain isn't nice. Spain is gorgeous. But like it's not like when you're away in the Caribbean or something and it's like I can't possibly work here. It's too like I have to get out and like feast my eyes on the landscape at all times. Here you can actually sit and work and I just feel like in the winter.

[Joanne McNally]

Are you saying it's in bits? That's why you.

[Vogue Williams]

No, it's not.

[Joanne McNally]

That sounds like that's what you're saying Spain is. So it's not that I can get loads of work done is kind of how.

[Joe Ottowell]

That's nothing to look at.

[Joanne McNally]

Yeah, it's more to look at.

[Vogue Williams]

It's more workable. It's more. Well, maybe it's just me cuz it's.

[Joe Ottowell]

Only down the road, isn't it?

[Joanne McNally]

That's.

[Joe Ottowell]

It's more accessible I think is what you mean.

[Vogue Williams]

I just feel more work. Worky here. Do you know what I mean? I just feel like I can actually sit in and do jobs whereas I can't really. If I'm on. If I'm on An actual holiday folk.

[Joanne McNally]

Williams called Spain a kip says easy to get work done because nothing to look at. I wrote it there for you. Are you drinking? I'm on the carotene.

[Vogue Williams]

What's carrot for your hair?

[Joanne McNally]

Sorry. No, that is what that is. So I'm on the creatine.

[Vogue Williams]

Oh. It was only a matter of time before she went on the creatine. I actually read something somewhere and I bet you saw the same article and I looked at it and I said, Joanne's gonna be on that in.

[Joanne McNally]

Well, you know, one of my biggest fears is Alzheimer's. Forward slash dementia. I don't know the difference between the two. Yeah. And apparently. And as we discussed before, it comes in through your teeth and it goes up through your gums. It's all about. Apparently it's like, you know that stuff that builds on your, on your, on your, on your teeth plaque. Apparently it comes in through the plaque and it. Anyway, it goes up into your brain, you know, whatever. Yeah. According to the hospital I follow on Facebook. Joe.

[Joe Ottowell]

Okay, right, okay.

[Joanne McNally]

And apparently creatine is really good for staving off dementia. Now I know I'm starting to sound like Joe Rogan and the Toilet duck and the covers, but genuinely there is actual scientific proof to say this. It's really good for stimulating brain neuroplasty and memories. So I'm strong out on the. I'll be able to remember cast.

[Joe Ottowell]

Do consult your medical professional.

[Joanne McNally]

Well, I'm more. Consult your trainer. I don't think it's really a medical thing.

[Vogue Williams]

I thought, oh no, I'm thinking of pre workout. I do. I take supplements and stuff like that though. I like. I think it's important to take brain health stuff.

[Joanne McNally]

Of course.

[Vogue Williams]

Gotta look after the brain. But I, I did hear that about the teeth because I know somebody who got their teeth done because of Alzheimer's. But like I don't know how much. Again, we're not a medical podcast. But it is interesting because I have heard that before that it's got. It does have something.

[Joanne McNally]

Something to do with the teeth. Will I tell you my. Well, I like. Well, I just. I've old glass from me in Wimbledon and everything. We might as well just get into it. We get into it.

[Vogue Williams]

Well, Wimbledon, I mean, how many times did you go in the end, it's over now. Are you still hanging out over there or like, what's happening?

[Joanne McNally]

I went twice to Wimbledon. Once I was a guest of Vogue Williams at a very fancy Emirates party with hello magazine and she got a plus one. And she very generously took her little pep, pleasant friend Joanne and I went, apparently in the wrong outfit, according to my mother.

[Vogue Williams]

Your mom said that you looked lovely.

[Joanne McNally]

I sent you the phone. I thought I looked great. I thought we both looked great. We ended up, we got a hello magazine. I'm a hello girl now. Yeah.

[Vogue Williams]

Joanne, I saw someone comment on our post. I think it was you and me standing at Wimbledon and they were slagging your outfit. Then they were like. And look at Vogue and that cheap polyester. I was like, excuse me. They really did. It's on one of our posts. And I actually thought it was so funny that I was like, I'm not actually gonna delete that. But they were basically calling us Che.

[Joanne McNally]

I mean, you can put a load of caviar in their mouth, but ultimately, you know what I mean? I, I thought your dress was lovely. I thought you looked lovely.

[Vogue Williams]

Sorry. But obviously we're a bad.

[Joanne McNally]

Apparently not, George. So I sent my mom the photos because she, she likes to get photographic updates of everywhere I go and when I'm out and about Anna, she. There was silence. Then there was no. She didn't reply to the photos. And I of course, didn't think anything of it because I. I don't think so. I just moved on to the next project of the day. And then she knew I was going back to Wimbledon with WME or the American agency. And she said that. She was like, what are you gonna wear? And I said, I haven't thought about it. And then I got a very, very well curated text that I'd say she's written a couple of times to make sure that it didn't start an argument. I'll read it to you. Me and my mom, we're very, we're much more diplomatic with each other now. Like it's a more thought out, like we don't lose the rag with each other as much and when we do, we're quicker to come back and make peace. We went through a phase where she was like, I can't say anything to you. But I was like, everything you say is massively offensive. You know what I mean? And then she'd be like, sure, I'm only making conversation. Where'd she get so sensitive? It was all that. So we went through a phase where everything was war. Do you know what I mean? And I felt like she was that thing that you feel, your mom. I felt like she was picking on me all the time. And.

[Vogue Williams]

Yeah.

[Joanne McNally]

So then when you feel like.

[Vogue Williams]

I do think they go through phases of that, though. Moms do.

[Joanne McNally]

Yeah, they probably do. And then it's just, you know, you're just fucking rubbing each other up the wrong way. And I was living at home at the time and everything was a bit of a drama. But now. So she's much better. So. So she says, she opens the text going, don't explode. So you know what I mean? So she's like, calm down. And then she said, but in capitals. I'd just love to see you in a dressy trouser suit or a long skirt dress for Wimbledon this Thursday with a kind of a sad, blushy face. I know you don't do frilly, flowery, but you look so elegant in long lines.

[Vogue Williams]

Nice. Would you be nice?

[Joanne McNally]

Her mom's calling her a complimentary, you look nicer. You look elegant in long lines. I don't even know.

[Vogue Williams]

Hover up.

[Joe Ottowell]

Yeah, maybe. Yeah, possibly we could read that.

[Joanne McNally]

I love the mini. Of course I do. She doesn't. She just. Again, this has been very well curated. But just the other one. But the other one can be more dressy for a specific occasion. And then she wrote at the end, cool. Can be done in the heat, you know. Oh, thanks. Anna Wintour.

[Joe Ottowell]

Political office.

[Joanne McNally]

Yeah, it was very. It was a very carefully written message. But hey, basically it's like, put some trousers on your slack is ultimately what she was. Is the message there. So then I was freaking out and I was like, I don't know what to wear. And then Sophie, who came with me on the Friday, came over and I was in a supreme, you know, Supreme. I was in a basketball top. Yeah, same. And she's like, you're not wearing that. Anyway, I ended up wearing what I thought was quite feminine. It was like a pink frilly dress with like little Sophie.

[Vogue Williams]

I wouldn't, I wouldn't cross you like that. Now if you came out in a, like. Remember when Gemma. What's her name? Gemma. What's her name?

[Joanne McNally]

Collins.

[Vogue Williams]

Collins, yes. Remember when Gemma Collins came out in that, like, almost like NFL outfit? Was that for Halloween? I don't know. It wasn't for Halloween. But she came out and it kind of went everywhere. If you came out to me and that, and you're like, I'm going to Wimbledon and this with you, I be like, okay, yeah.

[Joanne McNally]

You wouldn't say anything. You wouldn't. To be fair, but you would advise. If I was looking for advice and it was very clear when Sophie came in. It was very clear, patent that you.

[Vogue Williams]

Were looking for it.

[Joanne McNally]

She'd with me psychologically she got in my head and. And I was lost, and I didn't know who I was or what I was going to wear. I was having an identity crisis in the bedroom. So she guided me gently towards the pink frill.

[Vogue Williams]

You know when, you know, someone doesn't like what you're wearing, though? Like yesterday I went to the supermarket with Amber and I was wearing what I thought was the most stunning outfit that anyone has ever worn.

[Joanne McNally]

Yeah.

[Vogue Williams]

And when I looked at her and her shorts, I thought, those shorts need to go in the bin.

[Joanne McNally]

Yeah.

[Vogue Williams]

So I had judged her mentally, but I was wearing this outfit and I was like. And I got in the lifter and I was like, oh, unusual. She didn't tell me I looked great.

[Joanne McNally]

So she always would tell you, you look great. That's sisterly love for you. Well, not cheerleader.

[Vogue Williams]

The outfit in my mind was so good that I couldn't believe she hadn't just automatically said, right. And then we were getting back to the supermarket. We were standing in the lift, and I just looked at her and said, you don't like this outfit, do you? And she just started laughing. There I was sauntering around the supermarket thinking I was brilliant.

[Joanne McNally]

Well, folk now more than myself, and I will put myself in this conversation. We both can be a little hit or miss. And, you know, that's. Joe is. Joe always hits. But Joe doesn't take risks.

[Joe Ottowell]

Oh, no, there are no.

[Vogue Williams]

Joe doesn't. Well, I mean, sometimes some of your darkness T shirts aren't my favorite.

[Joe Ottowell]

You don't. Very old. They're very, very washed. Many, many times.

[Joanne McNally]

You don't. You don't just, you know, when you. When you take. When you take risks, you're gonna hit or miss. You know what I mean? And I know my style. Your style isn't for everyone. But.

[Vogue Williams]

No, but. Excuse me, John, Our style is fantastic. When you're as fashion forward as us, they're just. People are Just look at the women. Polyester. Yeah. Polyester is going to be in next year. Okay.

[Joanne McNally]

What is pot? I don't even know what that is. I don't know.

[Vogue Williams]

I don't know. And it wasn't polyester anyway. It wasn't once.

[Joanne McNally]

No one turns up in linen. It's all. I just. I can't bear linen. I went to a date with a guy recently.

[Vogue Williams]

I have three linen shirts here with me.

[Joanne McNally]

Please, just. Just don't show me them.

[Vogue Williams]

Fashion forward.

[Joanne McNally]

You know, you can't wear. You can't wear white linens and call yourself fashion forward. Since our Break. I've been on a couple of dates just letting the world know I'm back in the game.

[Vogue Williams]

Go on, go on, tell us, tell us all.

[Joanne McNally]

Well, one, like I said, one, we're linen and like it's, it's, it's tear and I don't, but I've, I'm no longer going down the road of icks and red flags and all that stuff. I'm, you know, I'm Buddhist now, so I don't agree with any of that, but I, I can't stomach linen. Okay, so. And also I realize that men's fashion, it's, it's more like a jumping off point because as a woman I know I can, I can change that.

[Vogue Williams]

I'm gonna send you a picture of, of Brad Pitt in, in various linen suits. And you will, I'll convert you.

[Joanne McNally]

I, I can't, I can't with the linen. It's awful.

[Vogue Williams]

So what kind of linen was this fella wearing? Linen trousers on a linen shirt.

[Joanne McNally]

It was a matching two piece.

[Vogue Williams]

No, it's, it's 32 degrees in London. I think that you're being very unreasonable.

[Joanne McNally]

You have to defend these people because these are your people.

[Vogue Williams]

These are my kind.

[Joanne McNally]

Yeah, they are.

[Vogue Williams]

I like a man in linen.

[Joanne McNally]

You're, you are, you're, you're, you, you, you engage with the linen people.

[Vogue Williams]

You like Onslow. You like a man. I like an Onslow top.

[Joanne McNally]

I do. I like a mesh tank, a Popeye tattoo. Y. Ill fishing, like kind of o' Neill's tracksuits. You know, there's a certain kind of Irish hooligan that I am very attracted to. So he was an on runner and, and also he was, I, it was the ropey vibes and I, I don't know why I, I, I was fooled. I didn't realize he wasn't clear that he was rugby on his profile. And then I went and once I spotted the Lynn and then he started talking, I was like, okay, I know where I am now and it's not my world. But at the point I was like, Joanne, do you know when you're like, have you ever had a phase? Well, no, neither of you have, but have you ever had a phase? You're like, if I don't engage with the opposite sex because obviously I'm straight, at some point soon someone is going to come and take my gentles off me and be like, you're wasting these. We're going to give them to somebody who's going to use them. Has anyone, anyone ever had that anyone but you.

[Vogue Williams]

You have given up on. On the other sex for quite some time.

[Joanne McNally]

I have.

[Vogue Williams]

Back in the game.

[Joanne McNally]

I'm, I'm, I'm. I was at a loss for a little while of like, what is the point of this? But I am, I do, I Do you know I spoke to. Do you know I spoke to. And I don't know if she's going to want to put this in the pod. I spoke to Gina, your aunt.

[Vogue Williams]

What do you mean you don't know if she's going to want to put it on the pod? She's not gonna have a clue. Okay, perfect.

[Joanne McNally]

Let's give her out her eye band or blood type.

[Vogue Williams]

When.

[Joanne McNally]

When I. When.

[Vogue Williams]

What the hell did Gina say when.

[Joanne McNally]

I popped into Gigi's birthday party. She says smuggling.

[Vogue Williams]

She popped in with. Gave a bag.

[Joanne McNally]

Yeah, Gave a little handbag. Which when I, obviously Gigi was predictably bored by and started crying because one of her nails popped off.

[Vogue Williams]

I was like, why are you upset about the nails? You got her. You got her at the wrong time. That was the third time the fake nails had come off. She couldn't take it.

[Joanne McNally]

And that was a designer bag that was gifted to me, but it's too girly and tiny and I gave it to a child, which in hindsight was a terrible mistake. And I will be taking it back.

[Vogue Williams]

Sorry. It's already found a new home downstairs in my wardrobe.

[Joanne McNally]

Do you know what? I'm actually so glad because as I handed it over to her, because I do you know, when you're. I was like, oh.

[Vogue Williams]

I just.

[Joanne McNally]

I had this moment of real love for Gigi. I was drunk on a plane and. And I was like, I want to just give Gigi loads of presents. I was having one of those. Every time I fly in the sky, I drink and I cry about not having kids. Blah, blah. I do it all the time. And then I get. I feel a lot of love for the kids that are in my life. And I wanted to give Gigi this little designer handbag. As I handed it over to her, I realized with her little, little, little, little face. Her little face, which is about to crunch up over her popped up nails. I was like, this child doesn't want this bag. This is such a waste of a bag. So I'm so glad you took it.

[Vogue Williams]

It's not that it's a waste of the bag. When a child I find at parties, like, they get too many presents. Yeah. I don't know. It's too overwhelming for them. They don't Know what to do with this?

[Joanne McNally]

Yes. Yes. And when Jane Spencer's mother came over, she goes, God, I'd love that bag myself. I realized I was making a huge mistake handing it over to this little. Her little. I was gonna say chocolate covered hands. Her hands actually weren't. Her hands were perfectly manicured, obviously, because she is a tiny drag queen.

[Vogue Williams]

But anyway, I haven't touched anything because in case a fake nail had fallen off. Do you want some cake?

[Joanne McNally]

Now with me, Joanne McNally and my co host, Vogue Williams, and that predator in the corner, Joe ottiewell. Oh, thank you.

[Joe Ottowell]

That's excellent. That's really good to put that out there.

[Joanne McNally]

So me and Gina were sitting on the couch together and Gina asked me, she's like, you seeing anyone? Etc. And I was tanner and I was like, I've absolutely given up. I said, I'm dead inside. I said, there's no point having genitals anymore. The vagina's like, she's deceased. Need to be resuscitated, blah, blah. And I said, I'm not arsed. Don't need them, blah, blah, blah. And Gina said to me, she's like, I. If I were you, I'd make an effort now. Because she's like, when you get to my age, blah, blah, blah. And she's like. And I would. I didn't make the effort. I was exactly like you. And I didn't make the effort and I really regret it. And I thought, you're. Do you know what? You're dead right. So I went home, did a shift, put a shift in on the hinge and the rails and set up two dates. Linen man was number one. And then the second guy, I felt very sorry for him because do you remember recently, I was saying I had a habit of paying for men, of paying for men's dinners on dates as some sort of weird. As some sort of weird power flex on my proper going, I don't need your money. And then the second I pay for their dinner, I don't respect them anymore.

[Vogue Williams]

Yeah.

[Joanne McNally]

And I spoke to a friend of mine, Tom, and he said, stop paying for men's dinner on dates. So I went into the second date and we were going for dinner, and I went in with the very intentional decision that I was not going to put my hand in my pocket at.

[Vogue Williams]

The dinner this day too.

[Joanne McNally]

Okay? Just day two. So we had. And he was a very nice guy, but I knew it wasn't a runner. And I still, I was like, I. He was like, oh, I'll get it. I Said, thank you so much. And he went, oh, usually people like kind of pretend that they're gonna pay half. And I said, I'm absolutely not going to pay half. I'm a forward thinking feminist, I am a progressive woman. I'm an independent, I'm a lone wolf, problematically independent. Pay me away, blah, blah, blah. But there's something shifts in my neuro area where on the. The brain, I believe it's called. Yeah, that went that. When it comes to paying for something on a first date, if he doesn't pay, I don't respect him. I don't know what it is. I can only blame my cave wiring. I don't know what it is. I don't know what it is. Right. And if we go splits, I'm like, good luck. But if you want to be. It's impre. When a man pays. It's so old school, I'm embarrassed to even admit it. But I do kind of need them to pay for dinner on the first date. I do. It's a story as old as time. But I knew I committed the crime. I did what? I don't know why I did. I knew I was never gonna see him again. I knew I wasn't going to ride him. He'd already tried to score me and I've recoiled.

[Vogue Williams]

Oh no, I just score you on the first date. How does that work then?

[Joanne McNally]

Because I can't remember anything.

[Vogue Williams]

Like I'd, I'll never have that.

[Joanne McNally]

Well, we don't, we don't know.

[Vogue Williams]

We actually can't say that.

[Joanne McNally]

He tried to score me in the first. And I, I, I've been in that situation before where men will go in because they're just like. And this is the bit where we score. This is the part where we score.

[Vogue Williams]

So are you sitting at a dinner or are you having drinks? And then he goes in to try and just score you like that.

[Joanne McNally]

We'd had dinner and then he went to score me after.

[Vogue Williams]

Where'd you go for dinner? That's a very, that's a very full on date vibe business.

[Joanne McNally]

Well, it was pretty busy in town. Dinner's the only way you can actually chat to someone, to be honest. It's Saturday night in town. It's, it's wall to wall. You know what I mean? I'm 42, I want to sit down east. Yeah, I get, I have to get my protein in or I'll get muscle atrophy. I have to eat all the time now.

[Vogue Williams]

And I do love sitting. Like I really, I can't be going somewhere where there's no seats. I just can't do it. I can't. I can't stand up for that long. Not anymore.

[Joanne McNally]

Exactly. He went to score me, and it was one of those things where you could tell there was no real. There was no real sexual chemistry between us at all. But he was going in for the wear anyway because he was just doing that thing that some men do. They're like, this is the bit that I wear. This is the part where we were. Where we wear, which is Irish for score. And I went, no, no, no, because I'm. I'm done with scoring lads who I know don't want to score me. I'm over it. I had that with that. Your man, the. The one of the fog nose I'm talking about.

[Vogue Williams]

He was really the big lad.

[Joanne McNally]

It was like, you score me like, I'm your mother. You don't fancy me. Leave me alone. Go away. And this was. I sensed that this was exactly what it was going to be. The same again. I was like, no. And he was like, oh, I didn't re. I didn't realize. It's almost like they're like. I didn't realize you had to fancy each other. It's like, yes, you're not fucking putting your tepid tongue in my grown ass woman's mouth. Take your dusty tongue elsewhere. You don't fancy me.

[Vogue Williams]

You don't fancy me and I don't fancy you, Doja Cat.

[Joanne McNally]

Well, no, in fairness, I made it clear in the moment. Doja Cat pretended she was all about it and then when she slapped him off online.

[Vogue Williams]

But I have to say, I've said this before, and I know how bad it's going to sound, but, like, I. I've been married for, like, seven years, so maybe it was my immaturity back then or whatever, but, like, if someone went to score me, I'd be like, oh, this is awkward. Okay, fine, I'll do it.

[Joanne McNally]

I know. Yeah, I know. Sure. I've had sex with people I'd have. So I didn't because I didn't want to embarrass them by saying no. It's insane. That's true. I'd say most women have done that. I really think most women have just ridden someone because they're like, ugh, he's kind of, you know, he wants it and I don't want. I don't know. I don't want to make it awkward. It's my job to kind of give him what he needs. And. Yeah.

[Vogue Williams]

So no more.

[Joanne McNally]

And this is the attitude I'm taking into the dating world, which is why it's not going to work.

[Vogue Williams]

But no. Get your dusty ass pig tongue out of my mouth.

[Joanne McNally]

Yeah, I'm not. I'm not receiving tepid tongue anymore. I'm only receiving tongue if it's hot, sexy, lusty tongue. I'm not doing tepid tongue anymore. I'm out. Anyway, I committed a carnal crime. I let the lab pay. And I knew full well I was never going to see him again. And you know what? I've thought about it. I feel so bad about it. I feel so bad about it.

[Vogue Williams]

Why don't you rev them? Rev.

[Joanne McNally]

That's actually not a bad idea.

[Vogue Williams]

Rev them for half and be like, dude, I actually feel really bad that I didn't pay half. And, like, I know in fairness, I think that'll be nice some, too, because I remember I'm not going to mention whose name it is. And he was going on a lot of dates and he was like, it's costing me a fortune, and I actually don't have the money to be going out for all these dinners. So he did switch it around where he started taking girls for coffees and water because he was like, it's actually becoming too expensive. So I think that man would be very, very happy if you sent, if you revved him, half the money for the date so he could go and take someone else out.

[Joanne McNally]

You're so right. Now, I don't think he's short of cash. I got the impression he had a bit of money. I took out the what, What I'd done on previous dates. I brought in. I brought in energy from previous dates and dumped it on this poor bastard. And I. And Jack, if you're listening, I can only apologize. And I, I, I probably won't rev him, but. Yeah, but look, the thought was there. I have to give an update on Glastonbury. I have to.

[Vogue Williams]

Daylight robbery.

[Joanne McNally]

As we knew, last time we spoke, I was. We were debating whether or not I was being scammed. Wasn't that correct?

[Vogue Williams]

Yeah, it was.

[Joanne McNally]

And I was being scammed.

[Vogue Williams]

Pretty. I have to say, it was a pretty good scam. It wasn't it? What? He made a lot of money from that scam. He did.

[Joanne McNally]

You know, and this was, you know, I've been scammed a couple of times, but this is definitely the biggest one. You know, this is kind of. This is like 6,000 smag cattles.

[Vogue Williams]

That was an expensive scam. I've been scammed before with something like that. Like with a pretend trip to New York and like hotels and flights included and then it wasn't the trip to New York. Yeah, it's too good to be true. It's too good to be true.

[Joanne McNally]

They're like, you know, you're going to York and you're like, oh, I wasn't.

[Vogue Williams]

Even going to York. I went nowhere. I got you a fridge magnet from New York. Okay, thank you.

[Joanne McNally]

This guy ran a private concierge company. Now listen, I don't know private. I don't. I don't know what that means, but it means classroom. We give a certain amount of tickets out to these kind of companies every year and then they sell them privately. Right. So it's a bougie way of doing it. And this was my punishment. This was the punishment for it. Gave him two grand. And then so turns out he got two grand or 50 of us, which is 100 grand. And not only that, but he put his parents house address down as his business address. So the night before Glastonbury when the people, and some people, some people did get their tickets off and this was a really confusing thing, some people got functioning working tickets but Glastonbury didn't honor any of the tickets then. So even if he got your ticket off him, you weren't getting in. I know, you'd be raging, wouldn't you? So anyway, a couple people go out. Ross, my friend, who, because he organized the ticket, I think he felt guilty. Went out to the house, his parents house. It was his mother's birthday. She's crying in the hall.

[Vogue Williams]

Oh, no.

[Joanne McNally]

The mother takes her handbag, goes down to the police station to report her own son for fraud. The father sitting in the hallway while people are queuing up and he's taking notes on how much money his son owes. Isn't that so sad? Something. Something about the mother taking her handbag out in the car to tell the police really made me really sad for.

[Vogue Williams]

I mean, how could you do that to your parents? Like. Like to do it to people that you don't know. Like, people are bad people, they're frauds, they do stuff like that. But to do something like that to your parents and have people I know arriving at their house and they were probably older is just shocking.

[Joanne McNally]

He says he owes the money to Albanian drug lords. Now he's throwing the Albanians under the bus. Everyone's throwing someone under the bus here. Yeah, he's like Frank Abagnale from Catch Me if you can. He's full of shit.

[Vogue Williams]

Well, I think he's as intelligent as Frank Abagnale.

[Joanne McNally]

That's actually, that's, that's true, yeah. Yeah. Frank Abagnell certainly wouldn't have put his parents address down as his business address. That's not something Frank would have done.

[Vogue Williams]

Absolute pic.

[Joanne McNally]

Also then Ross and him start, Ross, who's my friend, start up this kind of conversation. They're in communication and then Ross, he, Ross rings him, he answers. Ross is like, where's the money? Where's the money? Ross records the phone conversation, puts it up on TikTok and then this guy whose name is Message Ross and said, I've seen you recording my phone conversation. Do you know that's illegal? This guy is, is teaching Ross the law and the morals of the whole thing. He's like, you could get in real trouble for that. You're not allowed to record phone covers. You're not allowed to rob a hundred grand.

[Vogue Williams]

But you know what? I think there's loads of opportunities when it comes to, to Glassbury because I was trying to get you a ticket, a ticket off my cousin Killian. But not. Killian wasn't scammed but a load of his friends had been scammed by this other girl, same kind of deal. And they had tickets and then he had given his tickets to, to them.

[Joanne McNally]

I'd be a terrible drug dealer because, well, firstly we should go into drug dealing though because it's a very male dominated industry and it probably needs more women in it.

[Vogue Williams]

We need to be more feminist about that.

[Joanne McNally]

We do, we need. It needs more women in it. But also I would never, I would never kneecap anyone for cash. I'd be like, look, we'll work out a payment plan, don't worry about it. If someone was like, my husband left me, I would take the bag for free.

[Vogue Williams]

I wouldn't be able to keep tab of all of all of the outgoings.

[Joanne McNally]

You would, you'd be all over us.

[Vogue Williams]

I'd have to get meal involved. Neil would have to get involved. I said, hill, I don't know how much cocaine I'm supposed to put in this bag. Yeah.

[Joanne McNally]

And I'd be like, Vogue. Are you. Please use the new anxious, preoccupied little baggy bags that I've brought out with the, with the little sandwich bag. The tiny anxious, preoccupied place which for our drug dealing now, it's all going to be heavily branded. Yeah, heavily branded little metallic sandwich bags place.

[Vogue Williams]

And if you buy 10 bags you get 1,1 free fake tan.

[Joanne McNally]

Swipe up.

[Vogue Williams]

Yeah.

[Joanne McNally]

Swipe up for 20 off girls, 20% off your shrimps.

[Vogue Williams]

I told you what I did with Spencer. I insisted on half. Half? Half with everything. And do I deeply regret it?

[Joanne McNally]

You do.

[Vogue Williams]

I do.

[Joanne McNally]

He's held you to it. Yeah.

[Vogue Williams]

I take it back.

[Joanne McNally]

That is desperately sad. I posted a video of me on the last day of Glastonbury.

[Vogue Williams]

Yeah.

[Joanne McNally]

With the saying, kind of like, this is how I've survived Glastonbury. And I was. I had a couple of Craig Davids at that stage, which is double tequilas and pineapple juice. So I was a little. Yeah, Squiffy, as Bridget Jones would say, even though I hate that term. And I posted the video and the amount of people riding underneath accusing me of being on drugs, it is like, it's, you know, it's all. It's all. Yeah, they're like, look at your eyes. Your eyes. I'm just pissed. I'd hardly. I'd hardly do a lot of drugs then put up a tick tock about it. Do you know what I mean?

[Vogue Williams]

Like, I saw that video of you and honestly, I was like, first of all, she looks like a supermodel on day four of Glass and Free. I hate her. Because I was like, I can't tell you how many people I showed that video. I was like, look at this, look at her. This is day four. I was like, it doesn't make sense.

[Joanne McNally]

I pulled it off. But you want to see me after Wimbledon. I was more hungover after our day in Wimbledon than I was after four days at Glastonbury.

[Vogue Williams]

I am. I said to Joanne, I was like, that's it. The next time I go to Glastonbury, because obviously I had horrific fomo and I'm definitely going the next time. I was like, if I even wake up and whinge once, I'm just going to say, what would Joanne do? Cop onto yourself and get out there, have a double tequila and go on lines where everyone can accuse you of doing drugs.

[Joanne McNally]

Yes. You're going to get up, you're going to mainline three Craig Davids. You're going to get out there and make a tit of yourself. That's what you're gonna do, folk.

[Vogue Williams]

And I'm gonna love every second of it. I can't wait.

[Joanne McNally]

But people love everyone who's at a festival. They just. Everyone loves accusing them of being on drugs. Right. But then I. You mentioned a way.

[Vogue Williams]

Because that's the biggest insult. It's like, God, what's wrong? Are you on drugs? It's really.

[Joanne McNally]

Yeah, because it's really like you've let yourself. You've lost control of yourself. Do you know what I mean? It is. It's. It's quite the. It's quite the heckle. But no, was saying that. No, my friend Nell got her. By the way, there's an amazing podcast on BBC Sounds about the rise and fall of Oasis. It's brilliant. Highly recommend. 5 stars. Anyway, when I was listening to that day to Glastonbury and Nell did so much drugs, he forgot that he was on. And he was walking around the festival and someone's like, you're on in an hour. And he was so high, he went, no, no, I did it yesterday. And they were like, no, you didn't.

[Vogue Williams]

You haven't done it.

[Joanne McNally]

But he was on mushrooms, he said. But he was saying that when he was walking through, they just gotten really famous and they were big and they were like real, like rock and roll. Like, drink, drugs, alcohol, all that stuff. And someone's like, look, look, he's even got cocaine in his hair. And Noah was like, how dare you? That's psoriasis.

[Vogue Williams]

I know.

[Joanne McNally]

I was like, we just love accusing people of doing drugs. And I was like, well, and then I didn't post anyway.

[Vogue Williams]

Psoriasis.

[Joanne McNally]

Psoriasis goes. So dare you. That's actually psoriasis. I was just watching the whole thing roll out and I was very exciting and very thrilling, but the whole ticket system was very stressful and I was like, I'm not getting involved. But now that the clips have started and I'm listening to the podcast and I'm seeing the tour start now, I'm like, I've.

[Vogue Williams]

I've.

[Joanne McNally]

I've big found. I've big. Not even phono because I am going to miss out. I'm just mo.

[Vogue Williams]

I've got to try and get a ticket. But then you, like, there is the chance. Well, to be honest with you, I tried to get spanning another ticket because I'm still. I've got. I managed to get. I did get four tickets. I know I'm very lucky to have gotten four tickets, but I had to give them to my siblings. And I know that Spenny is going to be absolutely raging on the night in Dublin when we're like, bye, put them down at seven.

[Joanne McNally]

Oh, yeah, that's.

[Vogue Williams]

Oh, but I can't. It's really difficult to try and get anywhere tickets. I need to go.

[Joanne McNally]

Like, I. They're my. They're my ideal. Firstly, obviously, I want to see Oasis, but also, I am. I have an. I have an. I have. I am weak for Aladdin. A Ben Sherman shirt. There is nowhere where there's going to be more Ben Sherman shirts shirting around than an Oasis gig.

[Vogue Williams]

You'll really miss out.

[Joanne McNally]

Yeah, you're right. I need to get on. Do you know what I'll do? I'll ask the concierge guy if he has any. Has any tickets going. He's in prison now. He's really changed his ways.

[Vogue Williams]

Did you see little brought out a parka like an Oasis Parker and it's easy have called them Alda Alder. A L, D E H. They've re. They've renamed themselves Alder because that's how.

[Joe Ottowell]

Liam and Noel say it. Alder.

[Joanne McNally]

Okay. Right. Yeah.

[Vogue Williams]

Yeah. I can't imagine we're going to ever find them in an Aldi themselves, but.

[Joanne McNally]

Still they're riding the wave.

[Vogue Williams]

Everybody's catching on to them.

[Joanne McNally]

This is the wastes are what brought summer was. Except bigger. I think this is like. It's their summer.

[Vogue Williams]

Oh, my God. This is way bigger. They are like. But when are they. When are they playing till Joe? Like October or something like that.

[Joe Ottowell]

Yeah, they're still into November. They're playing in Brazil in November. They're still going.

[Vogue Williams]

Oh, my God. Remember Madonna did that concert in Brazil and like, she had a free concert and over a million people showed up.

[Joanne McNally]

Yeah. Lady Gaga did it as well. She did her sound check or something. I think it was something to do with pride.

[Vogue Williams]

Well, I think Lady Gaga actually had the most amount of people, even more than Madonna. And she's playing, by the way, Lady Gaga. And it's on my birthday. I'm just saying. Okay, on my birthday.

[Joanne McNally]

Do you want to go? Do you want to take it? I didn't go.

[Vogue Williams]

I don't know. I want us all to go to Lady Gaga. I'll get a stick. No, because I. Because I finally got. I've got a. I. I got my present off Joanne and it's a really good present. I got the. I got the North Face jacket she got me, and I got a really nice print that she got me. So I'd rather you didn't get me the tickets because I know you'll get me something. Don't get me the tickets I got you.

[Joanne McNally]

That was your Christmas present that I delivered in July because that's how I roll.

[Vogue Williams]

It was amazing.

[Joanne McNally]

It was a great present. Yeah.

[Vogue Williams]

Yeah. Well, that's it for today. We're back. We are back. I'm thrilled to be back. I feel, like, invigorated. Do you know what I mean? I feel like. I feel like I'VE had a break, even though I've been doing other podcasts. It's not the same without you.

[Joanne McNally]

No, thank you.

[Vogue Williams]

Same. You knew I was excited to come back.

[Joanne McNally]

You did? Yeah. She likes our little cherub faces.

[Vogue Williams]

I do. I like spending time with you guys.

[Joanne McNally]

Yeah, she does. She does. We have her in the bag, Joe. She'll never leave.

[Vogue Williams]

Oh, I'll never leave Sam.