The Barge, Doja Cat & Clones

Summary

Podcast Summary: "The Barge, Doja Cat & Clones"

Episode Release Date: June 20, 2025
Host: Vogue Williams & Joanne McNally
Podcast: My Therapist Ghosted Me

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1. Living the Barge Life in Amsterdam

[00:10 - 03:04]

Vogue Williams kicks off the episode by sharing her recent relocation to Amsterdam, where she's embracing the unique lifestyle of living on a canal barge. Broadcasting live from her barge canal house, Vogue humorously navigates the challenges and charms of her new home environment.

• Vogue Williams: “I’m coming to you live from my barge canal boat house on the canals of Amsterdam.” [00:10]

She details her morning routine, which includes waving to her "boat landlord," German, highlighting the close-knit community of barge dwellers.

• Vogue Williams: “I am very engaged. I got to go up in the morning and have my coffee and wave to my neighbor.” [01:09]

Joanne McNally teases Vogue about her enthusiastic waving to tourists, likening it to an extended salute, which Vogue humorously describes as a "four-hour magpie shift." This segment sets a lighthearted tone, showcasing their camaraderie and adaptability to new living situations.

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2. Reflections on Prostitution and Sex Work

[04:08 - 06:13]

The conversation shifts to Vogue's visit to the Museum of Prostitution in Amsterdam, prompted by an Instagram recommendation. Vogue shares her eye-opening experience, challenging the often glamorized perception of sex work.

• Vogue Williams: “I was like, yeah, of course. Prostitution, you know, it's a tough, dangerous, grim job.” [05:03]

Joanne concurs, emphasizing the duality of sex work—acknowledging its empowering aspects for some while recognizing its darker, more perilous side.

• Vogue Williams: “It's old school prostitution in Amsterdam, you know, not the... That now. It was grim. It was sad.” [05:52]

This discussion provides insightful commentary on societal perceptions of sex work, encouraging listeners to rethink preconceived notions.

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3. Tribute to Kim Woodburn

[12:53 - 15:33]

Vogue and Joanne pay homage to the late Kim Woodburn, a notable TV personality known for her fiery temperament on shows like "Loose Women." They reminisce about her memorable outbursts and candid nature.

• Vogue Williams: “She was so brilliant. She couldn't even do a daytime show without freaking out somebody.” [14:02]

They reflect on Kim's unapologetic demeanor, contrasting it with their own personas and discussing the impact of such a strong character in live television settings.

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4. Doja Cat and Fan Interaction

[15:33 - 19:35]

A significant portion of the episode delves into a viral interaction between Doja Cat and a devoted fan. Joanne narrates a video where Doja Cat appears exceptionally friendly, only to later refute the fan's perception of their interaction on Twitter.

• Joanne McNally: “If you haven’t seen the video, go and watch the video.” [16:49]

Vogue adds her take, empathizing with the fan's experience and critiquing the inconsistency in Doja Cat's public persona.

• Vogue Williams: “She humiliated him. Like, she, like... completely shitting all over you.” [17:38]

They discuss the broader implications of celebrity-fan relationships, highlighting the challenges celebrities face in maintaining personal boundaries while appearing approachable.

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5. The Cloning Craze and Barry Diller’s Memoir

[34:07 - 38:30]

The hosts explore the concept of cloning, sparked by Barry Diller’s memoir recounting his experiences cloning his dog, Shannon. They humorously debate the merits and ethical considerations of cloning pets and even themselves.

• Vogue Williams: “I would clone you, Joe. Imagine how many shows I could do.” [37:11]

Joanne contemplates the practicality of cloning in addressing declining birth rates, adding a satirical twist to the conversation.

• Joanne McNally: “It's really freaks me out. We might start have to clone people.” [38:03]

This segment blends humor with speculative discussion, engaging listeners in a light-hearted debate about future possibilities in biotechnology.

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6. Nostalgia: Confirmation and School Memories

[26:15 - 33:53]

Vogue and Joanne reminisce about their school days, specifically focusing on the rituals of confirmation and communion in Ireland. They share personal anecdotes, highlighting the mix of sincerity and superficiality associated with these ceremonies.

• Joanne McNally: “I promise I won’t drink till I’m 18. And then I was drinking as soon as I got into secondary school.” [27:25]

The conversation touches on evolving practices, such as the addition of pledges against vaping, reflecting societal changes and the ongoing struggle to influence youth behavior.

• Vogue Williams: “If you take a pledge at 12 to not drink, what has any 15-year-old... turned down a can in a field because they're like, oh, I can't.” [30:02]

Their nostalgic reflections offer a blend of humor and critique, providing relatable content for listeners who have experienced similar rites of passage.

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7. Closing Banter and Final Thoughts

[39:35 - End]

As the episode winds down, Vogue and Joanne engage in playful banter about their current living situations and future plans. They joke about cloning, managing their barge life, and the absurdities of their adventures.

• Vogue Williams: “I’m moored for now. Vogue. Okay. But you don't know where I could end up tomorrow.” [40:58]

The hosts wrap up with humorous remarks, leaving listeners with a sense of their dynamic personalities and the casual, conversational style that defines the podcast.

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Notable Quotes:

• Vogue Williams: “I am very much a Dutch resident now. I am a woman of the dam.” [02:21]

• Joanne McNally: “Don’t. Yeah, but like, I mean, some of it's glamorous and some people actually really enjoy it...” [05:42]

• Vogue Williams: “This is my version of going off, but because I'm on a boat, but I go off grid.” [09:12]

• Joanne McNally: “If you take a pledge at 12 to not drink, what has any 15-year-old... turned down a can in a field because they're like, oh, I can't.” [30:02]

• Vogue Williams: “I've been doing like I like I was...” [02:21]

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Conclusion

In this episode of My Therapist Ghosted Me, Vogue Williams and Joanne McNally navigate a diverse range of topics, from the quirks of barge life in Amsterdam to deep reflections on societal issues like sex work and cloning. Their candid conversations, peppered with humor and personal anecdotes, offer listeners a blend of entertainment and thoughtful insight. Notable discussions, such as their take on Doja Cat's fan interactions and the ethical quandaries of cloning, provide both levity and substance, making this episode a compelling listen for fans and newcomers alike.

Transcript

[Vogue Williams]

Foreign.

[Joanne McNally]

Welcome to my therapist ghost with me. With me, Vogue Williams and Joanne McNally, new resident of Amsterdam.

[Vogue Williams]

I'm coming to you live from my barge canal boat house on the canals of Amsterdam.

[Joanne McNally]

I loved your video. Slagging off the tourists, ruining your new home environment because you are a resident there for the next five days.

[Vogue Williams]

I am very much a Dutch resident now. I am a woman of the dam. So in the mornings I like to go up because this is. I'm very much involved in the barge community now. I've been here for almost 24 hours. So as you can see, suspect. I'm very engaged. I got to go up in the morning and have my coffee and wave to my neighbor. Bergen. No, German Vergen. What? You just met him, Joe. What's his name? He's my. He's my. He's my boat lord.

[Joanne McNally]

Oh, he's your both landlord.

[Vogue Williams]

He's my boat landlord. So I go up, I have a coffee, I wave to German and then I sit down and I started waving as the boats go by. And I realized then that's a slippery slope. So then I had to come back down because there was too much waving going on. I was. It was like salute. And it was like salute magpies. It was like a four hour magpie shift. I was like, okay, I need to go back down now.

[Joanne McNally]

You've got to hold back the kindness. But also, aren't you lucky that Jurgenbergen Gergen wasn't your landlord in South Africa?

[Vogue Williams]

And he's Dutch. He couldn't give a flying fandango like he just came down there. I was going to ask him to turn the aircon off just for sound. That's why I'm in my bikini top. But he came down and I'm sitting here in my bikini top on a video call to Joe. I'd say he thinks I'm doing only fans. And as Joe said, I doubt he gives a shit. He actually went, you look lovely. I was like, thanks, thanks.

[Joanne McNally]

Is it hot enough?

[Vogue Williams]

There is a bikini weather roasting, swimming.

[Joanne McNally]

The canal or no full of rats.

[Vogue Williams]

Wouldn't they going to be advised? I mean I haven't asked Urban where my toilet goes. Nor am I going to. It's none of my business. But it wouldn't entice me to jump into the canal. No, I don't think you can't. But I've been doing like I like I was I. Okay. As you know, Vogue, I regretted my decision to live on a barge.

[Joanne McNally]

You have already.

[Vogue Williams]

No, no, no, no, no. I had done oh, okay. Before I moved into the barge, I was very concerned. I was like, what have I done? This is the problem with having alarm. She's too efficient. Whatever fucking whimsical, ridiculous idea I have now, she executes us, you know, and now I have to live with the consequences of my own actions, which means I'm now living on the water.

[Joanne McNally]

One of your best ideas, though, considering some of the ideas you do have.

[Vogue Williams]

I agree.

[Joanne McNally]

Yeah.

[Vogue Williams]

And can I just say, it's the barge life for me. I may never live on the land again. And now that I know that German's on the boat with me, it's not like I can get locked and drive it to Antwerp. We're. We're. We're. We're in one place. We're safe. I've got a. I was saying, go towards me on the barge. This one.

[Joanne McNally]

So German lives with you in the barge where you have. You have your own barge and he has his own barge.

[Vogue Williams]

I believe I am in some sort of commune now. Yes.

[Joanne McNally]

Oh, oh, you're sharing a barge.

[Vogue Williams]

Well, it's. It's what? It's one long barge and he's split it up into little apartments.

[Joanne McNally]

Oh, okay, okay, okay.

[Vogue Williams]

So I have my own little deck and I have my, like, sitting room. My little sitting room, my TV couch.

[Joanne McNally]

I'm waiting for the barge tour.

[Vogue Williams]

Oh, don't worry. There will be a barge tour.

[Joanne McNally]

Are you just on your holidays on the barge?

[Vogue Williams]

The tour finishes tonight. So I've one last show in Amsterdam tonight and then Europe. The Vanguard tour is done, adjusted for now. And then I'm going to stay a couple of days and just chill. Right? Relax. Gets down, fucking try and date a Dutchman, live my life.

[Joanne McNally]

Go to some of the museums. You have to do it. It's so good over there.

[Vogue Williams]

Totally. The last time I was here with, we did a show previously in this run and we went to the Museum of Prostitution, with which someone in Instagram recommended that I go to. Was I telling you about.

[Joanne McNally]

You were going to go?

[Vogue Williams]

Yeah, so I went. So I went, yeah. Wouldn't be like me and I to follow through. But I did go. And, you know, it was very interesting that I think we're kind of brainwashed into thinking that prostitution is some empowering feminist act with all the kind of only fans and. And, you know, were kind of the sex workers online with their Prada handbags and all. And I don't know what I was expecting. I was expecting something completely different. It was grim. It was sad. It was. Yeah, it was like, it was a bit of a reality check, actually. I was like, yeah, of course. Prostitution, you know, it's. It's a. It's a tough, dangerous, grim job. And it was a lot about crime and kind of the worst parts of being a prostitute and everything. I thought it was actually an important eye opener as I think I have been a little brainwashed into thinking sex work is kind of a glam feminist flex. And this certainly changed my mind on that.

[Joanne McNally]

Well, that's why, that's why I kind of always think, like with the only fans stuff and everything, I'm just a bit like, oh, like these people are going to do it. And by the time they're 23, it's like, what have we done now? We've chosen this path that we don't want to be on.

[Vogue Williams]

Yeah. And we've said before, it's progressive. It starts innocent enough and innocently enough.

[Joanne McNally]

Starts with the toes and then it.

[Vogue Williams]

Starts with the toes. Suddenly it's the tits and you don't know where it's going to end. But like I say, this is.

[Joanne McNally]

Well, we do, but. Yes, we do.

[Vogue Williams]

Toes, tits, flaps. I think that's it. That sounds like heads, toes, tits and flaps. Tits and flops. Like that's a song to teach young sex workers.

[Joanne McNally]

Don't. Yeah, but like, I mean, some of it's glamorous and some people actually really enjoy it and there is a. An empowering part to it for some women, but there is a really dark bad side to it.

[Vogue Williams]

Yeah. Where this was like old school prostitution in Amsterdam, you know, not the. That now. I think there's a lot of safety in the onlyfans because they get to do it online. They don't have to leave the house, they don't just stand on street corners. This was like old school prostitution stuff and it was, it was, it was, it was grim. I would highly recommend it. That was really interesting, but it was grim.

[Joanne McNally]

Yeah. I think I would like to go and do. When you said you were staying on a barge, I was like, God, the kids would love to that. I'd love to do something like that. But if you. I know a girl who lives on a barge. She works in Harcho and she's lived on a barge for years and years and years. Loves it. She says it's a really like inclusive life, like all your neighbors or all your legal friends. But it's really hard because, like, she has to, like she empties all her toilets. She has to move at certain points. She can't just Stay in the same pain place for. For years and years. She always has to be moving the barge and that like will take a whole day to get the barge somewhere else to more somewhere else.

[Vogue Williams]

Every two weeks. I read I was doing my research because as I am consistent in the fact that everywhere I go I tried to move there. So now I'm considering chipping in and buying my own little canal house. But. So I was reading about you to move it every two weeks. Now that's in the uk. But you know what's so funny? Like, so mine is mine, my temporary waterhouse. It's like it's a barge. But walking around the canals around Amsterdam, which is. Oh my God, it's such. I forgot how cool, what a cool city it is. There's full blown gaffs on the water. I mean like with extensions and driveways. Okay, maybe not driveways, but like, you know, trampolines and like, they're like family homes. They look amazing. They just happen to be all on the water.

[Joanne McNally]

Have you seen the ones in. In Chelsea by the Albert Bridge? There's these like. And they are enormous. Like hu. They're like mansions on the water.

[Vogue Williams]

Yeah. Do you know what I was embarrassed about? For something like myself, I was embarrassed because now obviously the canal life, it's canal for life. I was chatting to a lad on Hinge a couple of years ago and we were getting on quite well and he was quite hot and we had a nice rapport, a bit of a vibe. And then he said that he lived on a canal boat on the Thames and I wrote him off completely. I went, I know you're Grant. I'm not dating a lot. Like, you know what, I'm not down. I'm not dating a pirate. That was kind of my take on it, you know. And now look at me now. I'd be honored.

[Joanne McNally]

You're on the most community. You're on the most glamorous porridge I've ever seen. They're not all like that. Imagine Joanne got herself a porridge in the UK and she had to clean in her toilet and stuff.

[Vogue Williams]

Came to visit the bars this morning and I was, I was talking up the top of the deck and I was like, I think I'm just kind of in a hippie phase now. I think I'm more earthy than I thought. And he just burst out laughing in my face. He's like, joanne, there's a sauna downstairs. I was like, okay, G, okay. Yeah, it's a well, sauna in the barge sauna.

[Unknown]

It's worth saying that you're living on a barge now and a week from now you're going to be in the fields at Glastonbury. So you really are in the. It's the hippie time.

[Vogue Williams]

I'm. I'm very earth mother at the moment. Look, you know what I mean?

[Joanne McNally]

Maybe she'll survive. Glass though. She might survive it.

[Vogue Williams]

I can't wait. Can't wait. I might sail this boat myself. If I can't more, I can't go.

[Joanne McNally]

The only thing is, I don't know if we're gonna. We're not gonna be recording when Joanne is in Glastonbury and you, you go dark on social media when you're at things like that, you just. I do post at all.

[Vogue Williams]

I go off grid. Yeah, you'll need to send. They'll need to be a wellness check at some point. Like, this is my. But this is kind of my version of going off, but. Because I'm on a boat, but I go off grid. But then you have to tell everyone you're going off grid, which is via your Instagram account. But no, you're right, I do go dark at music festivals.

[Joanne McNally]

You're going through a phase, right? You went through a hermit phase for a while where you just wanted to be in your apartment and now you're going through this mad phase. It's like a reinvention 100.

[Vogue Williams]

Like I was trying to book a trip to Dubrovnik there the other day as well. Like, I'm just, I'm out and about. I'm out and about.

[Joanne McNally]

I'm out and about.

[Vogue Williams]

I'm out of out. Yeah. I might even start a travel vlog.

[Joanne McNally]

Do you know what I'm doing this weekend? I was like, I just want to sit by a pool. This weekend I started Googling all these places in the UK to stay. And you know where I ended up? I'm staying in a hotel in Battersea, about a 20 minute walk from my house. Are you? Because it's got a swimming pool. And I'm like, it's meant to be, boy. This weekend my house is like a sauna when it's hot. So I'm just like going. That's going to be like my staycation to go there for one night with the kids.

[Vogue Williams]

But.

[Joanne McNally]

But there's this thing. Joe, I don't know if you, if you know about this, Joanne, this will be right up your street now. Okay? So I'm filming today for that show Renovation Rescue that I'm doing. And we went to this It's a, it's a restored castle. But the National Trust over here basically buys like incredible buildings that are falling down. They do them up and then they rent them out that you can go and say. So I went to this amazing castle today. It's on my Instagram, some of it. And you can actually stay the night in the castle. And they've all. There's a whole, a whole website. The place is like mad places that you can go and stay. Like places like castles and all these kind of places.

[Vogue Williams]

I'm surprised cuz you're quite spooky. You're easily spooked. I didn't think you'd be a castle girl, you know, I was there during.

[Joanne McNally]

The day when it was sunny and bright. I don't think I could stay there at night because it did look like there's been a lot of deaths there.

[Vogue Williams]

I remember you once had to move cuz you were in a. A wing of a hotel that wasn't very busy. Do you remember? Yeah. So I don't know how you get on now in a castle.

[Joanne McNally]

That hotel, remember?

[Vogue Williams]

Where was that? You're not as adventurous as me. Okay.

[Joanne McNally]

No, I would be. I have to say I'd be a bit nervous.

[Vogue Williams]

You never survive on the canals like I do.

[Joanne McNally]

I'd survive on the canals if someone was with me. I could be there with you now, but I couldn't do it on my own. And what I do is. So I will. When I say in a hotel, if Spenny's there, I'll get him to sleep on the side closest to the door. So if somebody comes in to try and beat us up, which is what I think will happen, they'll get him first and I'll run away.

[Vogue Williams]

Yeah.

[Joanne McNally]

So you just be by the door.

[Vogue Williams]

I do remember there's. I've dated several types of men and some more caring than others and some more, what would we say, protective than others. And one used to walk on the outside when we were on narrow footpaths. You'd walk on the outside so that if a car came it'd knock him over. And the other one made me walk on the outside. Yeah, you know what? And I didn't, I didn't realize what he was doing, but I realized it was only when I went out with the other guy that I realized. But the previous, the first guy was the guy who made me walk on the outside. So it was basically like what a.

[Joanne McNally]

Dick that you'll get him first.

[Vogue Williams]

Yeah.

[Joanne McNally]

I asked. It's Benny and I have been Obviously together for quite some time. He used to walk on the outside. He's not always on the outside anymore. But I asked him the other day, we were. We were sitting down at dinner, and I was like, oh, can I have the salt? And. And he picked up the salt and started doing all his own food first. And then passed me the salt. I was like, dude, dude, like, give. I asked for. I will do it for. And then you can have. He's like, what? It just makes sense. I'm like, no, it doesn't, you rude bastard.

[Vogue Williams]

Yeah.

[Joanne McNally]

And I told his mom on him.

[Vogue Williams]

Good. The problem with living on the boat is I couldn't find it this morning. Morning when I went for breakfast. It's now a dress. It's just like the boat. Do you know what I mean? I'm sure it has an address, but no one's told me. So I was just. I was like, oh, the house is gone. Yeah. Yeah. Kim Woodburn has passed away. I know Kim Woodburn of How clean is your house?

[Joanne McNally]

She was brilliant. A big TV personality. She did Big Brother, I think, as well. And she did I'm a celebrity. And she just didn't give a.

[Vogue Williams]

Do you remember she kicked off, like, she. I thought. I thought it'd be nicer for eulogy if she. The other way. People, like, pass gently or whatever. But, you know, she stormed off a lot of things. If I was her, I'd want to be like, she stormed off planet earth into heaven. Because do you remember the big hullabaloo she had? She nearly went to fisticuffs with Colleen Nolan on Loose Women. Do you remember that? Huge. It was.

[Joanne McNally]

She couldn't even do a daytime show without freaking out somebody. She was so brilliant.

[Vogue Williams]

She calling Colleen Nolan trash and everything. And then she stormed off. And it was so funny because she was still kind of shouting. And then Colleen was like. And next up after the break, we're gonna go to the local gardening center. And then Kim's, like, kicking off. It was. I just. Who has the. I. I admire it and it confuses me at the same time. I was reading up on the. I was refreshing my memory about the Loose Women thing. I was like, yeah, we're so well behaved on live television. If someone slapped me in the face, I think I would just take it. I would never. I. First of all, I don't like doing live television, but I'd never have to. The balls or the labia. If you wouldn't want to say. To kick off on Loose Women like that and then just go about my day. What, is she just going to go into a shop in Ms. And just.

[Joanne McNally]

You know, I mean, it's not like she's not really concerned about being rebooked for things, I guess. So we're in a different situation where it's like, I might actually want to work there again. I prefer doing live TV because it's quick and you don't have to repeat. So it's just one thing. You're in and out and you're done. And if you mess up, tough luck, it's done.

[Vogue Williams]

Yeah, I don't. As a comic, I find it because comedy is like, you're, you know, it's, you know, you're kind of pushing. Pushing things a little bit. But so, like, say, for example, Jonathan Rochelle had to pre record. So, you know, there's nothing like, you know what I mean? You're not gonna get yourself in trouble. Whereas live television, you do I. You kind of compute it 17 times before it comes out your head. And it feels very stilted. And I never really feel like myself on it, to be honest. But anyway, there you go. I was impressed at Kim. I really was.

[Joanne McNally]

Other news this week. Did you see the DOA Cat stuff? You sent it to me.

[Vogue Williams]

I did see it.

[Joanne McNally]

Okay, I am dying to get your take on it because. So the story is DOA cast. There was a video of her. She's stunning, isn't she? I didn't know. She's a.

[Vogue Williams]

She's a knockout. Yeah, she's.

[Joanne McNally]

Oh, my God, she's beautiful. She met a Tick Tocker fan, and they were being really, really nice and getting on really well. And she was saying she loved him. He was saying he loved her. He didn't know her real name. He only knew her name, Doja Cat. But then he gave her his T shirt and stuff like that, and it was a. I thought it looked like a really nice interaction. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Vogue Williams]

Like, I fell for it hook, line, and sinker.

[Joanne McNally]

They even were hugging and everything like that. But then Joja Cat went on to Twitter. So they're hugging. Like, they honestly look like they were best friends. I was like, she's so nice to her fans. I. Two things I took from the video. She's so nice to her fans, and she's such a ride. Because I didn't know she was that much of a ride. Bottom line is, I'll smile at you, but it doesn't mean I with you and don't touch me and manhandle me when you don't even know me. If you Know, I honestly think I need to stand up for myself in the moment sometimes. And he didn't even know my name to be touching me and kissing me on my face like that. It's crazy. This was. If you haven't seen the video, go and watch the video.

[Vogue Williams]

And then that poor guy, he did like a response video and he's so upset. And his defense, in fairness, which I kind of agree with, he's like, firstly, she started us like, she said, my shirt. And then I said, I take him off my shirt. Oh, because shouldn't she tweet then. Then saying, and I threw that dusty ass shirt in the B.

[Joanne McNally]

But supposedly before the video was taken, she said, oh, it'd be really cool in the video if you take off the shirt and give it to me. So she's just been such like, I understand celebs want to have their, like, personal space or whatever like that. And some people can lose their around them, but she was absolutely mad for him. But now your man has made a fortune because he started selling those T shirts.

[Vogue Williams]

He deserves it. She humiliated him. Like, she, like. Imagine having a really lovely interaction with the celebrity and then publicly kind of completely shitting all over you.

[Joanne McNally]

You know, Scarlett, it was really mean and I just thought there was absolutely, like, I know what she was trying to say, but that's not what you were acting like. You can't say that somebody was all over you and getting up in your space. If you're getting up on his face and actually enjoying it in the video and then just having a completely different reason reaction.

[Vogue Williams]

Remember we spoke about Robbie Williams recently and he did that. He wrote that kind of very. I thought it was kind of level headed. Interesting insight into kind of his level of celebrity flying and people wanting photos and how much of yourself do you owe? And all that jazz. That's one way of dealing with it. This is like Pinot Grigio, white wine. Like, this is, you know, this is kind of thing. You tweet in the middle of the night and you wake up, you're like, oh. But she kept it up there. But I, of course, because I forgot because I have the memory of a sieve. She's notorious for this. So she. Do you remember before, it was a couple years ago, she has all these fan Twitter accounts dedicated to her and she told them all to get a life.

[Joanne McNally]

Oh, I remember that. So she's just a bit mean to her fans.

[Vogue Williams]

They were trying to think of a name for themselves. I think they call themselves Kittens. They were trying to Come up with like the other way. People have names like Lady Gaga.

[Joanne McNally]

The Little Monsters.

[Vogue Williams]

Yeah, yeah, exactly. They were all collecting and they were trying to get her involved and she touched. She basically snapped at them on Twitter was like, get a life, get a job, I don't care. And then someone's like, do you not love us? And she goes, love you? I don't even know you. And then these Twitter accounts, they were like, we've decided to take a break from this dedicated doja cat Twitter account. Yeah. So she has a bit of reputation. And apparently she was wearing some alt right wing. There's a YouTuber, guy called Sam Hyde is his name. And she was wearing a Sam Hyde T shirt. And she's. She's kind of hanging around incel chat groups and all. She's. She's got. It's, you know, she's this. Once I remembered all that or once I refreshed my memory on it, I was like, this actually isn't that surprising. She's tricky by the sounds of it. I think it's a nice way of.

[Joanne McNally]

Saying, I know, but I always think people like that don't last a very long time. If you're a complete dick, they just don't. Have you ever had. Who's the most famous person you've met? Did we do that in the end?

[Vogue Williams]

I met Elizabeth Day recently. You know Elizabeth Day, who does the hydro.

[Joanne McNally]

Yeah, I know. Yeah.

[Vogue Williams]

And the two of us were so confused because we realized we've never actually met in real life. We just know each other from the Internet. It was very confusing. She's a parasocial relationship. Isn't that what they call it where you feel like you know someone through their Instagram or their kind of online activities?

[Joanne McNally]

Well, you know things about people's lives because you're watching them all the time and then you're like, God, I shouldn't know that. But then it's there, so it doesn't matter. And did you ever hear about that fan who dropped their baby off at Dolly Parton's house because they wanted it to be brought up by Dolly Parton?

[Vogue Williams]

Yes. And. And I think dead right. What happened did knowing Dolly should probably raise us.

[Joanne McNally]

I think you should get me a wicker basket and drop me off as the Beckham was Cotswold home. I would like to be.

[Vogue Williams]

To be raised by them. I've always said it. Oh, Beckham. If I could go back in time. I'm not sure I believe in reincarnation, although I do. I've said it before. I do think that if there is reincarnation, I definitely am some sort of medieval surface. Anyway, if I had to come back again, I'd come back as Harper Beckham, which is hard because she's still alive, but you know, whatever. I'm not great at maths, but I'd come back as a Beckham kid.

[Joanne McNally]

I'd accept the nepotism thing. I wouldn't really care. Call me another baby.

[Vogue Williams]

Ah, the life of a Nepo baby. Give it to me now. Gizza.

[Joanne McNally]

Look at Brooklyn Beckham. Not only did he was. Are his parents the Beckhams, then he's married. Nicola Peltz, who hit her dad, is like a multi billionaire. Like this is so unfair. He doesn't need anymore. There was a fan who gave Jared Leto an ear, a human ear. And he kept it and wore it as. Wore it as necklace.

[Vogue Williams]

Yeah, he sent it to him anonymously with a letter saying. Are you listening?

[Joanne McNally]

Sent him his ear.

[Vogue Williams]

Still kill. I'd love to get an ear. Like no one sends us anything. I do get bottles of wine. I would love. I would love a limb though, or something interesting, like a nose. Anything like that would be fun. And I would wear it as I would. I would turn into jewelry. A toe would be fun.

[Joanne McNally]

Who sent you wine before? Remember you said Gary Varlo and you decided you were best friends with him. Well, wait till you hear this. Guess who sent me tequila.

[Vogue Williams]

Kendall Jenner.

[Joanne McNally]

No. Oh. Oh, that. Oh, well, you've just ruined. Well, the Rock sent me tequila. The Rock are really close friends now. Cuz you said you're friends with Gary Barlow, so you can have Gary Barlo and I'll just have the Rock tequila, which is delicious whether it came in this big casket.

[Vogue Williams]

I call them gaz now, but that's how Polly we are.

[Joanne McNally]

Do you know what I'm.

[Vogue Williams]

Do you know, I'm finally genuinely. And you'll appreciate this vote because you're a business. I'm. I'm in talks maybe potentially about bringing out my own range.

[Joanne McNally]

Yeah, thank God. That would make the most sense in the world.

[Vogue Williams]

It was that the problem is that I'd drink it all, but hopefully they make enough that there'll be some to sell as well.

[Joanne McNally]

There'd be a bit left for everyone else. There'd be a bit left. You could do a few. You could do a few small balls for other people.

[Vogue Williams]

Sorry, Joe. It's okay. He's got. He's got it. He's got a newborn baby. Scene Titch. Sorry, I was just kind of scratching my Boob hair. And then the thing.

[Joanne McNally]

It's gonna happen.

[Unknown]

Just, just. It's on.

[Vogue Williams]

It's gonna happen.

[Unknown]

It was, it was not something that I initiated.

[Vogue Williams]

You didn't consent.

[Unknown]

I'm not gonna take it any further if you're not.

[Joanne McNally]

I just. The full disc. Nice.

[Vogue Williams]

But your tits probably aren't even sexual to Joe at this point because of all.

[Joanne McNally]

To the right. To the right.

[Vogue Williams]

You'll have me up in hr. I'll have the police canal boat now coming to take me away. You got me, dudes. Sorry about that, Joe. I'm so sorry.

[Joanne McNally]

Five years ago you would have been going down for that yourself. Lucky we're in 2025. Yeah.

[Vogue Williams]

You know, apparently the casting cage is back, but that's a whole other conversation.

[Joanne McNally]

Nando. Yeah, Nando. A double chicken. Sorry guys, cuz we're in the middle of. Double chicken wrap with halumi, medium spice, please.

[Vogue Williams]

Nice. See, is he setting up the camera?

[Joanne McNally]

Does he come into your house?

[Vogue Williams]

Well, I don't want to pay the rent, so we came to a different arrangement. Told you. The castle coach is back.

[Joanne McNally]

Okay, how much is it to stay in a barge?

[Vogue Williams]

Okay, so I'll tell you. Amsterdam is incredibly expensive. I feel bad because Garoda's still up in that awful hotel we stayed in the last time. Even though it's literally about 300 quid a night. Because I didn't, I couldn't put. I'm staying on the barge. It's like a holiday.

[Joanne McNally]

Anyway, Joanne, you like your own space, let's be honest.

[Vogue Williams]

Oh well, I mean the problem is it's a one bedroomed barge. But the, the we stayed in. This was so funny. So because this, the European tour is smaller than the Irish or UK tour and I forget that obviously that means budgets are smaller and it means the hotels aren't as nice. Blah, blah, blah. You know, it's all a commercial venture. There has to be made. At the end of the day, you can't be blown. Rolling hotels. But I obviously forgot myself completely. And we, when we were in Stockholm. Now again, Stockholm's very expensive and I was saying to Gerald, I was like, I can't wait to get Paltani. I'm gonna get some nice room service, nice glass of wine, club sandwich. You know, I was picturing like, you know those Clash silver things that they reveal the food and all. Gosh. The hotel we were rolling around laughing was basically a hostel. It's like a single bed in a box room. And here I was preparing to get my room service delivered. There was like Oranges in a bowl in the hall. There wasn't even a like someone on the desk or anything. I always said about myself and I always say it about you as well though. We've no. No problem slumming us now. Slumming it is obviously within context. You know what I mean?

[Joanne McNally]

Like we're not outside the tents.

[Vogue Williams]

Yeah, exactly. We're not in a Wendy house on the canal. Well, actually I am, but you know.

[Joanne McNally]

I want to do that. I need to do. I want to go. I told you. I want to do things like bell camping and. And fun things like that. But now I found this castle website. It feels more me. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Vogue Williams]

Let's be realistic at the same time. You know what I mean?

[Joanne McNally]

G. Are you really all to the earth?

[Vogue Williams]

Yeah. In an airot. Air conditioned. And also I was slacking the barge. Full WI fi. Better WI fi here than I've had in any other hotel that I've tried to do this podcast out of while on this tour.

[Joanne McNally]

While I was actually, I was. I'm actually. You know where I'm sitting? I'm sitting in someone's office at a glass. Not a glass factory. A factory where they make these gorgeous things because we're doing it.

[Vogue Williams]

Tiles.

[Joanne McNally]

No, like tabletops and everything like that. Like it's gonna be.

[Vogue Williams]

Oh yeah, marble. Yeah.

[Joanne McNally]

But I've just. But I've just walked in and they're all just sitting in front of me. There's just a big glass window and I'm just sitting here like an absolute weirdo.

[Vogue Williams]

You're doing important work. You're entertaining, you know, you're communicating.

[Joanne McNally]

So when you make your confirmation in Ireland, so you do you. You get baptized, what's it called? Christened. You get communioned and you get communionized and you get confirmed. And that's if you are Catholic and you're brought up Catholic. But you have to take a pledge when you're getting confirmed. So your pledge could be anything. I promise I won't smoke till I'm 18. Mine was I promise I won't drink till I'm 18. And then I was drinking as soon as I got into secondary school. But the idea is that you stick to the pledge and some, some goody two shoes do. But they've. They have a new pledge for everybody. Where.

[Vogue Williams]

Remind me, what age were. What age were we when we pledged?

[Joanne McNally]

About 11, I'd say. Yeah, we went to secondary school by 12. So you do it in sixth class. Just.

[Vogue Williams]

I remember school. Yeah, I'd had two blue wickets on the Day I'd had two blue wickets. I said, I cannot confirm or deny. I. I'm not. I'm not in a position to. To commit to any sort of verbal contract here. Please.

[Joanne McNally]

What did you. What did you wear? I'll never forget my deep purple Miss Selfridge office suit with a pair of beige kickers heels.

[Vogue Williams]

Oh, nice. Kickers, yeah. What did you wear for my confirmation? Oh, yeah, same vibe. It was the kind of. The floor. It was. It was very 90s, wasn't it? It was like the floor length, long and the kind of.

[Joanne McNally]

As well.

[Vogue Williams]

That kind of thing. And like the tank tops and I had those white palladium heels. Remember the white palladium heels?

[Joanne McNally]

Oh, God.

[Vogue Williams]

Do you remember the palladium heels?

[Joanne McNally]

Oh, I loved that. They're back.

[Vogue Williams]

They are back, actually. Yeah, I noticed that. But everything was always. It was very brown. It was very tight, except. And then kind of baggy bottoms. Yeah, it wasn't. It wasn't great. Now, the. That time, there's. There's a film that really sums it up that I can't think of now, that fashion.

[Joanne McNally]

What did you pledge?

[Vogue Williams]

I pledged to be no crack and not drink. It's an. Oh, crackpot.

[Joanne McNally]

It is a no. I think it's also. It's also the ugliest time in your life, I think, you know, when you're just so. Well, it was certainly the ugliest time in my life, honestly. I look back at the pictures, I'm like, why did no one help me? Why did my mom allow that? I feel like I would, like, give my hair a brush. Mom put it in a pony or something. But there's a new pledge that everyone's doing now and it's. They're pledging that they won't vape. So the Catholic Church in Ireland are encouraging children to make their confirmation to take an additional. An additional pledge not to vape.

[Vogue Williams]

Yeah, that kind of makes sense because it's all the kids that are buying the water. It's all.

[Joanne McNally]

They're all.

[Vogue Williams]

They're all marketed towards these young children who are all ruining themselves. I mean, I'm in no position to speak. It's like I did it all myself as well. Obviously we didn't smoke computers, but, like, we were smoking facts, which is way worse. But, yeah, I can understand kids want, like, them trying to get kids to not vape.

[Joanne McNally]

To say, though I wish I. I wish I'd never, never smoked. Like, I just. But I think. I think because my dad used say to smoke in the car all the time. I was like, oh, well, we used to just go around picking up cigarette butts. It was just always on my cards. I had to, you're hot.

[Vogue Williams]

Boxing. Anyway, you might as well just get involved. My friends now their kids are getting confirmed and denied and communionized and baptized on. They're not religious, they're just doing it because it's part of the system in Ireland to get them into skills and all that jazz. But like taking a pleasure you don't have to do.

[Joanne McNally]

You don't have to do the communion anymore, you just have to do the baptized.

[Vogue Williams]

Christened.

[Joanne McNally]

Yes, christen. You do the christening and then they don't have to. So some kids, like my friends, took their kids to Legoland when their communion was going on so they didn't feel left out and that's what they did instead of the communion. Yes.

[Vogue Williams]

And I've heard of someone having a non formation where their child didn't want to get involved in the religious side, but they wanted all the money so they just had a day and he was non, non informed, non conformed. But if you take a pledge at 12 to not drink, what has any 15 year old, 14 year old turned down a can in a field because they're like, oh, I can't. Because the Holy Ghost or Jesus or the Spirit or whatever, like it's nonsense. No nonsense.

[Joanne McNally]

No one does. I have to say I made a lot more money on my communion than I did on my confirmation because when I was younger I had to choose because my parents despised each other, so I had to choose which one I was doing for what. And my dad kind of roped me into doing my communion with him. And I made a fortune with Freddie. He bought me around everywhere to all the, to all the richest aunts and uncles. And I cleaned up with the confirmation. My mom didn't bother. I went around to nobody and I made nada, nothing.

[Vogue Williams]

It's a lot of pressure. Like I'm seeing it now as the adult. You're like, your hand is constantly in your pocket, as they'd say, constantly in your pocket. And like now you're giving kids like €50 notes and all because, you know, in my day it was five punt.

[Joanne McNally]

Ah, yeah, come on. We used it. We used to get a 20. You'd get a 20.

[Vogue Williams]

I didn't get a 20.

[Joanne McNally]

Oh, I used to get a 20. Not off my parents, off my uncles and stuff. And sometimes the odd time you'd get a 50. Closer to Christmas you get a 50 and you'd nearly pass away.

[Vogue Williams]

Yeah, yeah, the 50s were like.

[Joanne McNally]

Yeah, yeah. So I did a call out to see if anyone. What they did for their pledge, if there was anything interesting. I was kind of hoping for a promise ring. Yeah, I was kind of hoping for a promise ring kind of vibe. Like you remember the Jonas Brothers and Britney Spears and Justin Bieber had one on for a minute, remember?

[Vogue Williams]

Yeah, I mean, I mean that's a very American pop star Christian virgin thing, you know. It's also incredibly hypocritical. Remember I think Britney had a virgin ring on her while she was on the COVID of Rolling Stone that really do you know that really sexed up cover a Rolling Stone where she was wearing a tiny little hot pants. She had a teddy bear and all it's all about. It's all like kind of sexualizing kids in my opinion.

[Joanne McNally]

I mean I was kind of my own promise ring. I didn't even need to wear one.

[Vogue Williams]

Exactly. Our personality was quite, quite the condom.

[Joanne McNally]

It was just my awkward phase of life. No thanks. Yeah, I was saying that to the girls when we were on holidays. I was like remember no one fancies me. They were like, like yeah. I was like the last on the list. I'd have to wait until the girls would have gone out with them and then they would have broken up with them and then I'd go out with them.

[Vogue Williams]

Probably because you were so tall. They were as we like to accuse all men at all times the day or night, intimidated.

[Joanne McNally]

That's exactly it. That's what everyone used to say to me. There was just a lot of with the pledges that got sent it was all alcohol so and, and drugs and someone said sorry Jesus, what, what 11.

[Vogue Williams]

Year old is pledging to not do Class A's? Like they weren't even on my radar at that point and nor they know what stupid idiots.

[Joanne McNally]

I certainly didn't pledge that should.

[Vogue Williams]

We used to call the community the disco biscuits.

[Joanne McNally]

Do you know what? I had to go to mass for something. Did I tell you that about the. That they have gluten free of those communions. Yeah, there's a great gluten free line.

[Vogue Williams]

Come on now that's celiac's taking the piss. Just don't go how. You know what I mean? How religious are you that you're like no, no, that's still insisting on representation when it's really not required.

[Joanne McNally]

You know everybody, every, everyone wants one.

[Vogue Williams]

Unless you're a nun and you're eating those disco biscuits day in, day out and you're going to get some serious ibs I think you can sit that one out. You know what I mean?

[Joanne McNally]

Spany came up in the queue and I was like, spinny, get out of the queue. You're not allowed have one. You're not Catholic. And he's like, I don't care. I'm not sitting down. And up he goes. I was like, okay, if you do it, stick your tongue out. You know, strange rules. Some people go up and stick their tongue.

[Vogue Williams]

Yeah. And the priests have to put it on that. Yeah. I wonder what happens when AI takes the priest jobs. How will they give out the. How the robots give the communions. Very, very interested to see about that. Finally, priest we can trust.

[Joanne McNally]

Yeah, they'll all do a turn. They'll all do a turn. They'll have the little robots, like they do, you know, they ever go into a restaurant, they have those robots that bring around the food. They'll just have the little robots going over with the communion. Just bring your toilet out once and then tell me if you still want to live on a barge. And you'd have to do your toilet.

[Vogue Williams]

All the time, but it's attached to a plumbing thing like this is this. It's not like it's a little, like, bucket in the bathroom. It's like a real human toilet. One of my favorite stories of the week. Barry Diller. Barry Daler. I think I'm pronouncing that correctly. An American. He was. He's big in 20th Century Fox. He was like one of the most feared men and kind of entertainment and everything. He's released a memoir. He's like, in his 80s now. He was actually married to Diane von Furstenberg. Do you remember the designer?

[Joanne McNally]

Is he still married to her or is she married?

[Vogue Williams]

He's gay.

[Joanne McNally]

Yes.

[Vogue Williams]

Yeah. So she's a lavender.

[Joanne McNally]

They're still really good friends.

[Vogue Williams]

Yeah. He says she's the only woman he's ever loved. That's the dream. Yeah. But anyway, the big. The most interesting piece about the whole memoir, apparently now, I don't know who he is, so he wouldn't interest me, but I do love a memoir. Is that years ago in 1999, he was in Ireland. He says he doesn't know where he was. He said it's about 30 minutes in a helicopter from Shannon. So that's how rich he is. We're like, oh, yeah, 30 minutes in the chopper. I know exactly where that is.

[Joanne McNally]

Let's say Kerry. Kerry.

[Vogue Williams]

And he. There was a little dog running around. A real. And it's a real Irish head on the dog. He's like one of those little terrier dogs you see running around the place. And he turned out the dog was homeless, I guess, and Barry decided to take it back to the States. So the dog was flown back by, like, it's all very Orphan Annie and Daddy war books. The dog was rescued from this town in Ireland and adopted by a multi billionaire. And he's been living his life in the Hollywood Hills. But then Barry, because he's got more money than sense, decided to clone the dog. The dog's called Shannon, I think five times.

[Joanne McNally]

What? So they had one dog, that dog died. Then he had another dog, that dog died. Or just five new Shannons.

[Vogue Williams]

Five new Shannons. So six Shannons all together, five times. And then Shannon was eaten in Puerto Rico by an alligator on a hike when he says, oh, sorry, Costa Rica. And he says he'll never go back there again.

[Unknown]

Which.

[Joanne McNally]

Shannon, I believe.

[Vogue Williams]

I believe it was Shannon one, the og.

[Joanne McNally]

Oh, well, Shannon one had a long life now compared to the other Shannon. But I suppose if you were a billionaire, what would be the most ridiculous thing you'd spend money on? Like, that just seems appropriate.

[Vogue Williams]

I would be straight onto Amazon to buy my cloning kit and I would clone myself. I clone you, Joe. I clone you. Vogue. Imagine how much work. Imagine how many shows I could do. I clone everyone. I clone my mother. I clone everyone.

[Joanne McNally]

Oh, I'd love to clone my parents.

[Vogue Williams]

Yeah.

[Joanne McNally]

So we could keep them forever. Yeah.

[Vogue Williams]

Pat would not be happy about it. She'd be like, I'd like to move on.

[Joanne McNally]

I'm like, tough, but I'm quite tired from your Joanne. I'm actually finished with this life. I want to go to the next.

[Vogue Williams]

Pat wakes up in a lab again. She's like, Joanne, 19 times you've clowned me.

[Joanne McNally]

Let me sleep. I want eternal rest.

[Vogue Williams]

Reunited with your father. Like, that's not happening. Good luck. Back to the lab you go.

[Joanne McNally]

I would clone Winston. I would clown Winston. I love Bertie, but I don't know if he's clown. I wouldn't. I don't need to clone Bertie, but I need to clone Winston.

[Vogue Williams]

Joe, could we get into a cloning factory or they're all. Are they all just in bell jars? I want to know how it works.

[Unknown]

I can. I can do a bit of research. Send a couple of emails, will you?

[Vogue Williams]

Yeah, couple emails, Joe. See if they'll let us into a tour.

[Unknown]

Absolutely, yeah.

[Joanne McNally]

It kind of freaks me out. We might start have to cloning people because there's really. There's really. Which actually. And Birth rates are really falling. Have you read that in the papers?

[Vogue Williams]

Yes.

[Joanne McNally]

Because it's so expensive to bring up children, everything that people can't really afford to have more than one child. And birth rates are falling because a lot of people don't want to have children.

[Vogue Williams]

It's a real problem. That's why. That's why Elon Musk keeps getting everyone knocked up. Genuinely. He's like.

[Joanne McNally]

There's a name for him. Last night. What the. That just reminded me.

[Vogue Williams]

Populist or something. There's a name for it that he just. But he just wants to have loads and loads of kids because the human race is on the way out, basically. They're saying by 2053 that 40 of women will be single and child free.

[Joanne McNally]

Well, I think though that because they are also, when you think about it, they're making that drug that makes people live forever. So we can't all live forever on the planet and keep populating it. So yeah, I think it might work out well for us.

[Vogue Williams]

Something's got to give, you know what I mean? I think it's great. I'm gonna buy a huge barge for all my single, single female friends. We're gonna live like the Golden Girls. The water golden Girls.

[Joanne McNally]

Can he get like a three bedroom barge?

[Vogue Williams]

Ah, yeah, I'd say definitely. Although don't talk a road. But yeah.

[Joanne McNally]

There was no space road. He's only got one bed space road. Okay, go eat your powdered eggs and shut up. I don't know why I'm laughing.

[Vogue Williams]

He was slagging the out of me because he was like, it's going to be a hell or not. He thought I was. I think he thought I was just going to be living on a dinghy or a pedo or something. And he came in and he was. I think he's very upset with me now. He's like wow, wow, wow.

[Joanne McNally]

Queen.

[Vogue Williams]

Johan, your hotel. I never told you how much it is. This is cheaper than the hotel that me and Garud were in the last time. And like I say the last it was like it was prison vibes. The price a night in this barge is half the price of the hotel that me and garage were in and that he is in tonight. It's half the price and it's so much nicer. So much more bang for your book.

[Joanne McNally]

Makes me feel worse for garage barge life.

[Vogue Williams]

I know.

[Joanne McNally]

Yeah, B.

[Vogue Williams]

That's it for this week. I'm off to explore.

[Joanne McNally]

To sit at the top of her barge. I'm off wave of people.

[Vogue Williams]

What's that I'm really embarrassing. On the top of the world. What's it called?

[Joanne McNally]

I'm just thinking of the tourists going back and forth, being like that weirdo still saying. Waving at everyone.

[Vogue Williams]

Still white waving. Yeah, that's Katana's elbow. She's been waving for years up there. What's that scene in the Titanic with Kate and Leo?

[Unknown]

I'm on top of the world.

[Vogue Williams]

I think I'm on top of the world. Yeah. I'm off to do that with urban. So I gotta go. Gotta wrap it up. Canal life. Gotta go, gotta go, gotta go. Wherever the. Wherever the waves are taking me.

[Joanne McNally]

She's not gone anywhere. She's moored. She's moored.

[Vogue Williams]

I'm moored for now. Vogue. Okay. But you don't know where I could end up tomorrow.

[Joanne McNally]

I'm gonna assume it will be the same spot, but it probably is nice for you, Sam.