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- [00:03]
A
This is a Global Player original podcast. Welcome to my therapist, ghost of me. As usual, it is myself, Joanne McNally and herself, Vogue Williams and our support care animal, Joe Attiwell. Where do we even begin?
- [00:35]
B
Where do we begin? What are you drinking? Let me guess, Saltos.
- [00:39]
A
Yep. And milk thistle.
- [00:41]
B
Milk thistle? Why? Are you sick?
- [00:42]
A
Are you sick? Yeah, sure. That's why, obviously. I've had a nine night run of the Olympia. It was as you know, vogue. Very hard to stay in the straight and narrow, pre show, post show, any time of the day really for myself. So I'm, I was there with some drinks taken and I'm on the milk thistle. Do you know? Do you know? Okay, so straight into it I was, I don't say, I don't, I don't watch the Brit Awards. I was reading around the Brit Awards and I was reading Harry Styles had a great performance. I thought it was kind of weird and I liked it. It made me feel strange and I enjoyed it. But I was reading then about Harry Styles and the day of the performance. Basically my point is when I do shows, I'm like, oh, I couldn't possibly do anything today. I have a show tonight. No one contact me. I'm oh, oh, oh, oh, oh. I have a show, I couldn't possibly train, walk, exercise, I couldn't possibly do anything. I have a show tonight. Reading about Harry Styles, like, oh, yeah, he was in the gym 6am the morning of the show and I was like, I am a lazy piglet. I need to cop the on. I need to stop giving myself an out for everything. I need to start moving my body, focusing on mobility, strength training, protein intake, healing, thistle juice, whatever the fuck that is.
- [02:02]
B
Heel. Why have you took healing?
- [02:05]
A
Okay, scrap, scrap, heel, scrap, heel. I don't know what, I don't know what heel is. I just mean I need to start taking some supplements, I need to start giving myself a pass and that. Like I don't need to physically move on the day of shows because it is an excuse. I'm aware it's an excuse. It's not good enough.
- [02:24]
B
I don't think that you need to be that hard on yourself because it is tiring doing shows. Your timing changes around those days. Do you have time to train, Joanne? You do, you do.
- [02:36]
A
Yeah. And I appreciate the honesty and the, you know, no bullshit approach. If, if Harry's no more than, if Taylor Swift can get engaged, if Harry Styles can, can work out the days opening the British Awards, I'm pretty sure
- [02:51]
B
Harry Styles is running. Yeah, but he's running Sub three marathons. Like, Harry Styles is going to bed after the show. You are whining and dining your friends who are coming to the show. It's not your fault. And tell them to stop. Like, off. Except not me.
- [03:05]
A
I'm like, obviously you're going to Free Pass. But like, sometimes I'll be like, okay. Mary, the tour manager should be like, okay, I'll have the. I'll have the Fiat Punto. The engine on outside the stage door. We're just gonna go or go, go, go. And I'll run off stage in the tracks. We jump into the Fiat Punto and we take to the cobblestone streets of Dublin like the Italian mafia. But then inevitably someone says, I'm here. Can I come back and say hi after? And I'm like, of course, I'd love to see you, because I do want to see them. And then of course we start drinking and blah, blah, blah.
- [03:33]
B
Poor Mary. I say, Mary's like, grace, an early night tonight. And. And you're just like, Mary.
- [03:40]
A
She goes. Then she goes, yeah, I don't make anyone wait around anymore, you know?
- [03:44]
B
And we just decided we owned it. And we stayed till like three in the morning. And one time you stayed even later than that.
- [03:50]
A
Well, yeah, but I do remember hearing that Post Malone, like, had a lock in there for three days or something. Mental. So shut up. Because I do think, and I will and I. I. Sexism is in the room. Sexism the room. I do find, and I'm not going to name names, but I do think I as a female performer. And Vogue, you were on board with this. In the Ghost of Tour, you are treated differently by venues. Some venues, not all. Some venues. And you're like, if I was a male performer, they would never speak to me like that. Or they would never make those demands on me or they would never kind of cut me off at a certain hour. Whereas fe male performers who maybe aren't even doing the numbers, but they have more sway in venues. I have noticed that massively. So I push back.
- [04:31]
B
I kind of feel like that about men in general. I think it's a lot of the stuff is very different. I just had an interesting chat there because I'm going over to an event next week in Dublin and she said to me, she's like, I don't really want to ask you how you like, juggle family life, because I wouldn't ask a man that. But like, maybe, yeah. And she was. I know, but. And she was like, so I don't really Want to ask that question? I don't mind you asking about my family, but, like, that's quite nice that you're thinking along those lines. Finally, people are. It's like when. It's like when, like, Serena Williams is asked who she's wearing. It's like, Serena Williams is like the greatest tennis player ever. Are you not just going to ask her about her goddamn tennis? It's like that woman in the Winter Olympics who I'm a big, massive fan of, Eileen Goo. And she basically is like, one journalist was like to her, do you think before you speak? Because what you come out with is just so intellectually perfect. Like, she just had the most everyone.
- [05:29]
A
Yeah, yeah.
- [05:30]
B
I am forever getting out there. Like, can you dumb that down for us there?
- [05:33]
A
I know. And I'm like, they're like, between the two of them, yeah, they have the IQ of an astrophysicist.
- [05:39]
B
But, yeah, I love, I love listening to her answer people back. And she did, she did that thing about when someone said, how do you feel about going two silvers? Or something like that? And she's like, I have. I'm the most decorated Olympian, blah, blah, blah, in this sport. And I just. I love that she just. She's clever and, like, her answers are so fascinating. It's so fascinating to watch somebody talk like that. Like, what books are you reading that you. This is your general way of speech?
- [06:05]
A
Well, I'd say it's not the first time she's been nagged by a male journalist. I'd say she's got answers ready to go. And, like, the, the, the frustrating thing is, as well, she's been asked these questions by a lad who probably can't even tie his own shoelaces. Do you know what I mean?
- [06:17]
B
Yeah.
- [06:17]
A
It's very easy to be critical of people who are doing something that you cannot do yourself on. We go to Reviewer Culture. Lily Allen's West End Girl tour has started. Yeah, it looks like a visual masterpiece. It's absolutely beautiful. I wasn't actually expecting that much production. I don't know what this is. Only me reading on the Internet. I haven't been yet. She started in Glasgow and some people. It's like getting. It's like. Some people are like, it's the best thing I've ever seen. Some people, like, it's a bit short. It's only 45 minutes, blah, blah.
- [06:46]
B
Her whole show is 45 minutes.
- [06:48]
A
Well, no, because I think she does. I think she's doing some instrumentals at the start of old songs. Like, not old Songs like songs from previous album as is her. Right. But I was saying, I was reading around it and I was like it's. I would say as someone who also does shows my peanut butter when I started peanut but is definitely longer now than when I started the tour last year. And I think it's definitely better now than when I started the tour last year. And so the problem is when people buy tickets to the first shows, they're so buzzing to go and they're probably the most enthusiastic people involved on the whole tour. But with that comes a little. You have to just understand that it's the start of a tour and no matter how much rehearsals or whatever you do at the start, there's always going to be those little things to iron out. There's always. They're always going to be a little shorter. I remember when we started our ghosted tour a couple of years ago and we started. We'd opened it in the gaiety.
- [07:41]
B
Do you remember? Yeah.
- [07:42]
A
And a woman messaged me and she was like, oh. Felt it was a little short. And I was like first, it's our opening night of something we've worked incredibly hard on. We've put a lot of production into. I think she actually called it a cash grab. And I was like, a cash grab. You have no idea how much money we put into making the show. It's not a cash grab, but people do. I just think it's important to remember that everything at the start, it's like it's got little bits to iron out.
- [08:05]
B
Yeah.
- [08:05]
A
It's just the way it is with shows. It's just the way it is.
- [08:10]
B
I was a like music lover and I adore going to gigs and I really, really enjoy going to see an artist. If I went to see an artist and it was 25 minutes long, I
- [08:21]
A
don't think really five minutes. But how long is the album? Because she, she was very clear. She was like, I'm singing the. This is it. I'm. I'm going out here and performing the album live. That's what this show is. I was never going to be like a greatest hit store or anything like that.
- [08:35]
B
No, I know, I know that. But like if you look at. I'm not listen. Taylor Swift is her own beast. But like Taylor Swift is doing a three hour tour. That for me would be too much.
- [08:42]
A
Well, just in case I'm. In case I have a completely wrong. Can you just Google Joe and just make sure. Because when I was reading it I was like that to me opening night, I Said what will happen is she'll kind of get more comfortable with it and she'll start chatting to the crowd more and it'll kind of flesh out that way. Or her director, whoever's directing will be like, actually, yeah, we could add something here or kind of flesh a little bit out. I just felt. I just was like, I think it's worth saying that at the start of a tour, for me, anyway, it's always been the way the show is. I mean, the show gets better as the tour goes on.
- [09:15]
B
I agree with you there, But I think 45 minutes is. I wouldn't really be happy paying for a ticket. That's something. That's 45 minutes.
- [09:21]
A
Well, I'm a big Lily fan, so I'm like, she could get up there, sneeze for seven minutes, and I give her a standing ovation. She.
- [09:26]
C
It does say in the review that she. It says she only comes on after 45 minutes of a string ensemble and delivers the album in full.
- [09:37]
A
Oh, yeah.
- [09:37]
C
Well, that's 45 minutes of string ensemble, and then the album itself is 45 minutes.
- [09:43]
B
Yeah, you're getting your 90. And I actually kind of, as a fan of orchestral music, as you guys know. God, I know that about you. I cannot get enough of this. Of the violin.
- [09:57]
A
If she starts going on about orchestral music one more time. But okay, so I stand. Correct. We're happy.
- [10:03]
B
Yes, we're happy.
- [10:04]
A
It was 45 instrumental, which is her. Her gorgeous, delicious warm up. And then she does 45 of. Basically sings the album. And the place looks absolutely stunning. The production's unreal. The set's beautiful.
- [10:15]
B
Yeah.
- [10:15]
A
Fair play, Lily. I can't wait to see it.
- [10:18]
B
I will, I will.
- [10:19]
A
Sweet tones.
- [10:20]
B
Yeah, she's.
- [10:21]
A
She might.
- [10:21]
B
Incredible.
- [10:22]
A
She might. She might. She might ban us now after this, but I'm trying.
- [10:26]
B
Well, she might ban you because you're have to pull on the wicked on her.
- [10:31]
A
Solid 10 minutes out of Lily. Adam loved it.
- [10:35]
B
Don't judge. Joanne loves Lily Allen so much that she's like, 45 minutes perfect. Complaining. It's enough.
- [10:41]
A
I could. She could stand up there, derma blading around face for seven minutes and leave and I'd be like, I loved it. Five stars.
- [10:49]
B
You know, she didn't turn up to the Brits. Well, she.
- [10:55]
A
She's saving her voice.
- [10:56]
B
I know, but she wasn't singing at. She wasn't singing at the Brits. I kind of love her. She couldn't give a. A. What a nice way to be. There was a great joke as well. Jack Whitehall Made about David Harbour in that.
- [11:09]
A
Oh, yeah.
- [11:09]
B
I read that Jack Whitehall's a great. He's a. Like Joanne, I think we have to go to the Brits next year. It was a lot of fun, like, compared to other awards ceremonies. It was like. Jack Whitehall was so funny. I saw Harry Styles for the first time.
- [11:25]
A
What did you think of his performance? Now, I'm not a muso, but I have opinions, like I said.
- [11:30]
B
Okay, well, I have opinions. When I'm scared, I get in trouble for them. I think Harry Styles is a great performer. His song is brilliant. I don't love when he does choreography.
- [11:44]
A
I liked the dancing. I. I thought it was weird, but I thought it was intentionally weird. I couldn't look away. I liked the head moves, the weird gesture, the weird faces.
- [11:52]
B
Yeah, I liked the head stuff. I didn't. I didn't like the, like, dancing with the dancers behind him because it's like me, I only dance with half my body. No, he's a better dancer obviously than me, but I just think he is so cool that he should just be like. The head thing was really cool and sync.
- [12:10]
A
I loved it.
- [12:10]
B
I think him dancing on his. In front of all the dancers outside of that was not my favorite because he's Harry Styles. Like, he should just be going around owning the stage as he always does, and just doing and doing his own personal dancing. You know what I mean?
- [12:23]
A
You gotta try something different, you know, you gotta grow. You gotta evolve as an artist. I loved it. I did think it was. It was unexpected. I loved it. The way he moved and he moved, but his face was like, I don't give a. That I'm moving. I just thought it was. I. I liked it. I really enjoyed it.
- [12:37]
B
So I will say is 10 out of 10 song. 10 out of 10. 10 ride.
- [12:41]
A
Yeah, he's a very handsome man. And look, he's working out in show days, so fair play to him. PC The Rosalia. Am I pronounced Pronounce.
- [12:49]
B
Oh, Rosalia.
- [12:50]
A
Rosalia. Apologies. Joe, did you see this?
- [12:56]
B
No, I've not seen this.
- [12:57]
A
No. She won it. Best international. She's a Spanish singer.
- [13:00]
B
She.
- [13:00]
A
She has a song called Berkine, but it's. What? Her performance at the. Joe, you have to watch it.
- [13:04]
B
Performance? It was. It was the performance of the night. I haven't stopped. She's in all my liked Spotify's now. She is so epic. But the performance on the night was so amazing. And then I was like, I'm standing there with Amber and I was like watching it because, like, you're quite close to the stage. It's really cool. Like, I've never been to the Brits. And it was like. It was way better than I expected it to be. Because at the end of the day, it's an award show and they're quite long. I just thought it was.
- [13:29]
A
See, I told you. I told you it was right to go in with the catering team Vogue, didn't I? Because then you'd be moving in and out of the tables and you'd be up the front and that's what you did. And fair play to you, drinks, that's the best place to be.
- [13:42]
B
I absolutely would have done that. But she was. She was brilliant and she was singing. And then I was like, gosh, you know what? She sounds very Bjorky. And then all of a sudden I was like, is that Bjork? And it was actual Bjork on stage.
- [13:56]
A
Real life Bjork. She's back, baby.
- [13:59]
B
Yeah.
- [14:00]
A
And then she broke into a techno remix version of her song Berghain. And the lighting. And I was like, oh, my God, this is sensational. Yeah, it's one of the best things I've ever seen up there with River Dance for me.
- [14:17]
B
But all the performances on stage were so good like that. Like, hers was amazing. Mark Ronson was an amazing. He had, like, Dua Lipa popping up and he had all these famous people popping up. James Blunt was on stage, but it was just like a mishmash of all these amazing. Before Olivia Dean and, oh, my God, Ray was on stage. Imagine going to a concert and all those people are there. It was so cool. Are you watching on YouTube?
- [14:48]
A
No.
- [14:49]
B
Well, are you should be. You should be watching on YouTube, actually, Jon. And if you are watching on YouTube, please, please subscribe and also subscribe to the Folk.
- [15:03]
A
It's one of the. When I watch things like the Brits. And again, I'm sorry, I. I. Full transparency. I don't watch. I just scroll, get the highlights. You know yourself. I'm like, I'd love to be able to sing.
- [15:17]
B
Oh, do you know what, John? That's all I was thinking. I was like, how can I win an actual British award and be.
- [15:22]
A
Because I'm that arrogant that I assume if I could sing a note, I'd be on the Brits. Opening or closing or middle.
- [15:30]
B
I think that is an important way to think about yourself. Like, if you're gonna do something, you're gonna do it properly. Do you know who I thought was really funny? You know, cmat. So CMAT was up for an award and she didn't win, but she does.
- [15:42]
A
Irish Treasure. Treasure. Treasure. What's it called? National Treasure. Yeah.
- [15:46]
B
And National Trust. She's brilliant. But she does this thing and in like, when. When she doesn't win something, she'll pretend to cry, but it's like this thing between her and her fans that she just takes a piss out of the whole thing by just like, like. But she does it when she's sitting there. So I think loads of people in the audience are like, oh, my God, that is actually. It's so brilliant.
- [16:08]
A
I think that's a great idea. Take the piss. But, like, I've always wondered about when you're not going to. If you're. If you're not going to win. Like, that's why I wonder, did Lily Allen know she wasn't going to win and that's why she didn't go? Because. Do they know?
- [16:18]
B
No, I don't think that they know before, but I think they might try and entice people to go. But I just genuinely think Lily Allen is like, you know what? I'm actually doing something that night. So, yeah, I. I cannot go.
- [16:29]
A
Also, the Brits, I'm not being bad unless I was nominated. And, I mean, I can't see how I'm going to pivot into the music industry. But look, I pivoted from pure into comedy. You don't know, but I will be back.
- [16:39]
B
Are you mad? Joanne, don't say that out loud. I'll get lumped at you and I won't get invited back next year.
- [16:45]
A
Do you remember that, Sherry? Do you remember the British Podcast Awards? And I. I was nominated. Avril Lavigne, the who killed Avril Lavigne, was nominated for the British Podcast Awards. And I was. I was invited, obviously. I went. I was hosting. I was like, oh, they asked me to present some awards. And I was like, that's so they. That's. To make sure I go. I think they even asked if I want what. How I would like my name engraved on the trophy.
- [17:07]
B
Oh, my God, I love that. That's great.
- [17:10]
A
Y. And I was like, this is in the back. Spent ten grand on hair and makeup, obviously. Now, I did get a nice gatty image out of the day, but, yeah, I mean, I was. I was lured in under false pretenses. So Less.
- [17:26]
B
John, we need to. As you know, we need to update your online images, so I think that you need to come to the. Like, Amber came to Brits with me this year and we went with Joanne. How do you say this car company. Audi.
- [17:41]
A
Audi. You say Audi. What do you say?
- [17:45]
B
I say Audi. I thought Irish people said Audi.
- [17:48]
A
Am I right or wrong? I don't know. Which is it?
- [17:50]
B
I don't know. I. No, Audi is right, but I thought Irish. Yeah. So we. So we went with them. My God. You want to see the amazing campaign? So I got a car open back with Alistair who was driving me. Alistair struck gold because he was like, no, I'm your driver for the night. So, like three, four in the morning, if you want to come home. I was like, alistair, you are a lucky ducker that you took this ride. Because, my friend, I will be going home. Yeah, we will be going to bed.
- [18:19]
A
The dream. He just did a lap of the block and collected you and you headed off home again. He'd be thrilled with himself.
- [18:25]
B
Well, what happened was after. After the Brits, I was like, I'm so hungry that I had to go home, order a past is the hotel. And then we got changed to go to the after party and we went to the after party and Groover model were playing at the Warner after party. But honestly, I. I don't know if it's. It's not a social anxiety thing because I do like being ace. I don't like being somewhere that is so busy that you can't, like, turn without touching someone. And it was. I just. I don't know if it's like, if I was always like that. I think I used to like, it's age. Yeah, I think it's age.
- [18:57]
A
It is age.
- [18:59]
B
I just decided I. I went home after like half an hour. Amber was absolutely sure. Amber doesn't even remember. I sent her down to get my pasta while I was changing, and she doesn't remember going down to get the pasta.
- [19:09]
A
I was like, amber, post show. This is.
- [19:13]
B
This is post Brits. But I was like, I don't know if we can go to the after party unless you smarten the up.
- [19:19]
A
Yeah, yeah, yeah. Some smelling salts for Amber, please. Some smelling salts. Yeah.
- [19:24]
B
But now there was. They had just bought. They had maybe nine bottles of champagne on the table. And I was like, we're never going to get through that. We did.
- [19:32]
A
I love that we can send. I love that we can send you into these events and you can bring us back. Kind of the glam gossip at all there.
- [19:39]
B
Do you know what it is?
- [19:40]
A
We're in our pajamas. It's. It's. It's. It's the. It's the perfect setup.
- [19:44]
B
Well, can I just say, you're gonna have to Take a few of them on yourself now. I'm not. I'm not doing all the work anymore. Like, that's a lot of work.
- [19:52]
A
Fine, I'll go to the Oscars.
- [19:55]
B
Fine. Only if they give you. Only if they give you a goodie back.
- [19:58]
A
Jesse Buckley was asking, like, outer plus one. I said, jess, honestly, I wish you the best of luck, but I'm just not arsed. But I'll ring her now. And I go, come on, I'll go with you. Come on up.
- [20:05]
B
Thank you. I'd appreciate that. You know. You know Shabazz, who was on Instagram? I love him. I follow him. So he does this thing where he basically talks through people's outfits. Like, he did it after the baftas and he did it after the, the Brits. And when he came up to me, because I was talking to him on the red carpet, he goes, oh, look at you, you're giving disease.
- [20:29]
A
Was this the yellow or the black? The.
- [20:32]
B
Hello. The yellow. He was like, oh, the color is disease. He kind of gets a spot on. He was saying about Harry Styles, he
- [20:39]
A
was like, harry disease now?
- [20:42]
B
No, it's a lovely dress. He only takes the pitch.
- [20:44]
A
You know, you have to take liver failure, maybe. I would have said a bit of liver failure. Fluoro yellow.
- [20:49]
B
Yeah, John, to see. But he said about Harry Styles, he looked like a car, a car salesman. And it would be a car that you'd break down in the motorway like, five minutes later. And you know, Rosalie Edge, you know what he said about her? She had this big, fluffy outfit, and he was like, she looks like dirty chickens from a battery farm. And she just went in and was like, I'll take them.
- [21:10]
A
This man is going after the Joan Rivers crown. Do you remember Joan Rivers to the fashion police? And she was the meanest woman alive. I, I have to say, I think Joan Rivers died in perfect time just before, because her, her style of comedy was, like, so on the nose and so funny, but, like, super bitchy.
- [21:25]
B
And I, I, I think we need that, though. I think that we are, like, I love it. I. People were complimenting me yesterday. I was, I was talking to people yesterday, and this person, like, complimented me three times in a row. And I swear to God, I felt so awkward. Like, I just was like, I know. I'd rather somebody call me disease.
- [21:46]
A
I know.
- [21:46]
B
I just think that I'm like, I can't bear it.
- [21:50]
A
I know. I'm the same. Although I have to say, I'm very good now at saying thanks. Because, like, ultimately, when someone compliments Your top. I just thought, thanks. I go, yeah, it's cool, isn't it? Because I obviously think it's cool because I bought it. I didn't make it. You know, I'm not saying thanks. I didn't. I didn't, like, invent the top. I'm just like, oh, yeah, thanks. I made a good choice in this top. I agree. I made some good decisions. The professional compliments would have me now bowed over in pain and trying to scrub my insides with the Brillo pad. But clothes and hair and stuff, I'm happy to take. Speaking of, is this a segue?
- [22:26]
C
Go on.
- [22:27]
B
What is this?
- [22:28]
A
How will I say something?
- [22:29]
B
I'm excited.
- [22:30]
C
Twist it up.
- [22:31]
A
Compliments. Someone who wasn't getting compliments this week was Jim Carrey.
- [22:38]
C
Bang, she's done it.
- [22:40]
B
That was very good.
- [22:42]
A
Thank you. Yeah, well, he was getting some strange compliments. And if you. And some accusations.
- [22:48]
B
Do you know that this story has gone so far that I'm talking about it on Lorraine tomorrow for the entertainment.
- [22:54]
A
Oh, for God's sake.
- [22:56]
B
So thanks for doing the research with me today, Joanne. I'll use some problem. Some of the jokes you say, I'm going to say them tomorrow because they'll come out on Wednesday. Yours won't come out till Friday.
- [23:06]
A
This is my intellectual property vote. I will.
- [23:08]
B
No, let me get my notepad. Go on, tell us.
- [23:11]
A
Jim Carrey.
- [23:15]
B
I'm going to try and say what on air.
- [23:17]
A
He won an award. He was being nominated.
- [23:20]
B
Sorry.
- [23:20]
A
He was being celebrated. Getting some awards at the Caesar Awards in France. Nothing to do with the salad. You can have that one. And he.
- [23:30]
B
Sorry, sorry. Nothing to do with the salad.
- [23:32]
A
Salad, yeah, nothing to do with the salad.
- [23:34]
B
I'm gonna try and get that in.
- [23:35]
A
Yeah, yeah.
- [23:36]
B
I'm gonna screen record it and just end it.
- [23:39]
A
So you say you and I'd be nominated for the Cobb Awards. If you wanted to do a gag there, you can have that.
- [23:43]
B
Okay.
- [23:44]
A
Capri. Say Caprazy. Caprazy. Yeah. But anyway. Now, bearing in mind Jim Carrey's been kind of out of the limelight for quite a while. He kind of semi retired a couple years ago.
- [23:59]
B
A few strange things, so.
- [24:01]
A
Well, he's gone spiritual is what Jim has done. He's gone spiritual and he kind of disappeared. And he was like, look, I'm not into the celeb life anymore. I've had enough. And I want to go off and just paint to be spiritual. And unless some script is, like, written in 24 karat gold and I feel like the story needs to be told to the world, maybe then I'll come back a couple years later. He was the voice of sonic the Hedgehog 3, which of course he got a little bit of jiving for. But he said, hey, I need the money. Which I appreciate. We like honesty because that's, that's basically why most people do most things. So we haven't seen him in a while. So, you know, let's bear in mind, you know, people age and their faces change. Anyway, he turned up at the Caesar Awards, did a speech and was interviewed after on the red carpet. And there has been accusations, as there always is with the Internet because there's not a sense of critical thinking in on the Internet. But he, because he looked a little different, a little, A little fuller in the face, a little. The nose was a little broader. The natural journey is he's been replaced by somebody. It is a conspiracy theory. And there is.
- [25:00]
B
It's a clone, it's a clown.
- [25:02]
A
Someone is impersonating Jim because he obviously couldn't be ar going himself. I mean, Jim have a lot going on. I say he'd go.
- [25:09]
B
It's the only explanation. And if Putin is doing it, which I heard he does do, allegedly, not that Putin's going to come and sue me. He's in a bit of hot water himself.
- [25:19]
C
Allegedly.
- [25:20]
B
Okay, I take the allegedly back. Putin has people that he sends off to, like, look alikes and stuff like that. Aren't they all on it that the dictators are at it? So why shouldn't Jim Carrey do it?
- [25:28]
A
Just put. Well, apparently Jim made a comment years ago. I think he used to decoy years ago. He said he was leaving a restaurant. He sent someone out to kind of get the paparazzi off. So obviously people have dug this up and said, but I think the man has the pino puff. Like, if anyone know if anyone recognizes pinot puff, it's me. I was like, he has the pinot puff. He sleeps chasing down, like myself. All he needs is an antihistamine and some nice and a bit of jade rolling and he'll look like himself again.
- [25:56]
B
I have to be honest, I don't agree with you there. I don't think he has the peanut puff. I think what's happened here is he's after having some kind of a facelift. He hasn't allowed for the downtime. Like, what's his name? Bradley Cooper. Remember, Bradley Cooper came out and then he started looking like that other fella hadn't had the down time. And so he hasn't let the face settle. The problem with men is women seem to like you. Look at Kris Jenner. Women seem to take surgery, but just women. It's men age. Probably they get away with it more than women, but when they try to reverse it, it doesn't work as well as women. Like Benicio Del Toro. I said he was a ride at the baftas, but like he had really dyed hair. And I just find men dyeing their hair. It's really hard to strike that balance because you can just. It's so noticeable or something. It just doesn't look right.
- [26:44]
A
I knew a lady used to use shoe polish on his hair. God love him. But anyway, Jim Carrey. So the accusations of the clone and everything, they range from genuine suspicion to meme theater, which are just like hilarious or whatever. But like I say, Jim Carrey does not strike me as the kind of person who would get a facelift. He just seems too. He's. He's kind of.
- [27:04]
B
He's.
- [27:04]
A
He's holistic. I feel no one holistic gets facelifts.
- [27:08]
B
It feels facelifty to me. I mean, well, I personally don't think he looks that different, to be honest with you. If no one else had picked up on it, I probably wouldn't have.
- [27:15]
A
He looks like maybe he's had.
- [27:16]
B
He makes.
- [27:17]
A
It looks like he enjoys a late night whiskey. He's a man who isn't going to do anything to his face. He's a little. A little puffier in the face. And remember, the nose never stops growing. It's sports. Greatest soap opera. And we've got your VIP pass to all the drama. This is up to speed. Your new Formula one podcast with me will be Buxton, David Coulthard, Naomi Schiff and Jolie Sharp. Expect unfiltered race reactions, behind the scenes insight and blockbuster interviews. Plus answers to the questions you've always wanted to ask. Like, do F1 drivers pass their driving test first time? Spoiler. They don't. When the race weekend's over, we're here to keep you up to speed. Listen and watch today. Search up to speed on Global Player. Up to speed. There was a video going around and I'm sorry about Bunny, but the. The outfit choice was confusing over the
- [28:21]
B
knee shorts and thong flip flops. But he's gotten his money's worth out of those thong flip flops. I just can't. Have you heard about this thing called looks maxing? No. So there's men on the Internet who are basically doing things to maximize the looks that they already have. One thing I'VE heard that they're doing. It's called bone smashing. So they literally are taking like little hammers to their face and they're, they're reshaping the bones on their face to like give them a bit of, a, bit of a bit of a cheek down. Like imagine you look at your nose.
- [29:00]
A
I, I hate to bring, I hate to fact check you, I really do because I don't like to be checked either, but are you suggesting that men are taking hammers to their own face and just beating the out of themselves in the hope that they turn out hotter? Joe, their panel beating their face.
- [29:13]
B
Just go and look it up. Joe. They're panel beating the face. I'm telling you. They look in the face and they said, you know what, just give me a little, like if I could whack up the old cheekbones, you know what I mean? They're just doing little. And also there's another thing that they're doing which is called. Well, it's called drug use. I've written it down.
- [29:31]
A
Oh, yeah.
- [29:32]
B
So they're microdosing crystal meth. So now I'm not saying this is all men, but it's a thing that's happening on the Internet.
- [29:41]
A
Hashtag, not all men. Go on. Can't wait. Crystal met.
- [29:45]
B
So they're microdosing crystal meth because it's giving them the hollow cheekbone look. Are you looking up the bounce?
- [29:53]
A
I'm sorry.
- [29:54]
C
Now, fact checking to be done. I'm trying to do it in order. I know Joanne says she doesn't like being fact checked. It's fairly widely reported that Jim Carrey has said many times he doesn't drink alcohol. So that we need to probably consider.
- [30:05]
B
Yeah.
- [30:05]
A
Oh, well then it's a clown. Sorry, that was, that was the own. That was the only excuse for her face that puffy. I've noticed. I can't, I can't.
- [30:13]
B
Pino face. Whiskey, for God's sake.
- [30:17]
A
That's what I'm gonna Pinot puff girl. That's what I am.
- [30:21]
C
And bone smashing. Yeah, that, that exists. That's the thing that.
- [30:24]
A
Wow. Wow. They're just kicking the. Out of their own face. I mean, just. Would you not just save up the cash and get a facelift? Can I talk about my Australian New Zealand tour, please, for a sec?
- [30:40]
B
Only if I can ask you something first. And yeah, I, I'm not going to allow you to promote those tours on here anymore unless you promise to bring me back this outfit from a shop called Dish in Australia. I know you're Going to be there for a couple weeks with loads of time to go over. And I would appreciate that. Thank you.
- [30:55]
A
Go on. Okay. Yeah, yeah, yeah, Dish. I'll do that.
- [30:58]
B
I'll send you. I'll send you a picture. Yeah, yeah.
- [31:00]
A
Well, I mean, obviously now we're begging, we're openly begging for them to send it to you so I won't have to, which is perfect.
- [31:06]
B
No, I followed them and everything. I, I went in when I went to the jungle and I got loads of stuff, but now I'm like, oh my God, I want that, but I don't want to pay the import fees. And I was like, my friend Jaman is on tour in Australia.
- [31:17]
A
Get in touch. I'm. I'm gonna come in. I'll be like. I'll be like one of those people who'll demand the shop is shut down for my visit. And they'll be like, who are you, you absolute loser?
- [31:25]
B
I'll be like, it'll get you out of the house. Joanne, you said you wanted to start doing stuff when you're on Twitter.
- [31:31]
A
I do, I do. So obviously I made in Australia, New Zealand for April, basically, and we've just added three last shows and then that. That's it. So the shows are selling well, thank God. So thanks to everybody bought tickets. So places that I have, there's some tickets left for Wellington on the 16th of April and we've also added a Melbourne on the 12th of April and I've added a Perth at 6.45pm show on the 23rd of April and at 6.45pm extra, Sydney on the 29th of April.
- [32:04]
B
That's my. I think that's my. I think that's an ideal time.
- [32:08]
A
Six ideal time. Yeah. Yes. We've squeezed in some earlys because I can't stay either. I can't stay. I can't go earlier or stay later in the month. So we're squeezing in some earlier shows on the days of their shows because I love you and, and, and I'm willing to do that. I'm willing to double drop.
- [32:23]
B
Well, you can't go out in the days that you're double dropping, so just make sure there's a little bit of time to go shopping for moi.
- [32:28]
A
Of course. Of course. This will. I'll be like two shows. I can't possibly do anything. Can't possibly do anything. Don't even open the curtains.
- [32:37]
B
Do you want to hear about my favorite thing I've seen on the Internet this week?
- [32:40]
A
Is it Benny Blanca's feet?
- [32:41]
B
Oh, hell, that was another thing. Jesus Christ. Let's talk about his feet first. Honestly, the rudeness of that.
- [32:48]
A
He's blaming the venue. Selena Gomez's husband, who is a bit eccentric, I would say, has started a podcast and they're obviously filming it and it's a new studio. I need his feet up on the couch, shoeless. And his feet look like he has basically wandered out of a forest or that he's been raised by wolves for the last 10 to 15 years. They were fairly dirty. Now, listen, I'm not a hygiene freak, but if I thought my feet were going to be on camera and I know what it's like to be foot shamed. Remember those photos of me and Greece that ended up on my photopedia or whatever it's called, because I hadn't managed to get a pedicure in time. Sorry, sorry, sorry. And it brought down my rating completely. So I understand what it's like to be foot changed. But come on now.
- [33:30]
B
Benny, Benny Blanco's feet. And they were not just trotters that have been walking around a dirty floor for five minutes. They were like. Well, no, no, they were well worn feet. And also he was sitting there on that podcast, by the way, farting. Imagine I sat here and just started farting in front of you two. He is just. I think he's a bit.
- [33:49]
A
That's. Yeah, he's a bit. Yeah, it's a bit. It's a bit. It's all a bit. It's all a bit frat boy, isn't it? It's all about teenage.
- [33:56]
B
As a clean freak. If his feet are that dirty and your feet are washed in the shower, there's something I'd say, I just think he's smelly now, now I'll always think there's that smelly man.
- [34:09]
A
Listen, she's mad about him and you know, she, she, she obviously see something we don't see. It was very much. Cher did the interview with Doc Shepard and Kirsten Bell. Kristen Bell, Kirsten Bell, which is a joke. Kristen Bell and Cher looked Doc shepherd up and down like he was a bin bag and said, she obviously sees something in you I don't see. And it was quite uncomfortable because she meant it. It was very clear she meant it. So listen, Benny Blanco. But I would recommend, I mean, if you're a videographer on a shoes, like if I walked up to a shoot, like, someone would be like, where would you style is? Someone's like, would you rub a cloth over that foot there?
- [34:44]
B
Yeah, you can't just like someone Was someone was looking at those feet. And I wouldn't want those feet on my couch either. Sorry, they're filthy.
- [34:51]
A
Filthy.
- [34:52]
B
Anyway, that's not who I was talking about. My favorite person on the Internet this week was some someone called at sometimes Nike. So she is an influencer and she was on that page, you know, influencer, influencers in the wild. I dread the day I show up on throwback. So she basically has set up an Instagram page, and it's called Naturally Baby Timmy. Mommy, is that me? She's put up a picture of herself pregnant, looking in the mirror, and she's pretending to be the unborn child, and the child is saying, mommy, is that me? And then the mother is writing back saying, of course it's you, my princess. What?
- [35:35]
A
I'm at my what?
- [35:37]
B
So the mom has set up this Instagram page. She's pregnant. She takes a picture of herself in the mirror, pregnant, and then she set it up in the baby's name as if it's the baby's Instagram page. Then the baby asks the question. The baby in the womb, God's sake. Says, says, mommy, is that me? And then the mom writes back and says, of course it's you, my princess.
- [35:56]
A
I understand people being excited about having kids, but can we just rein it in? I don't want to listen to the. I don't want to listen to your fetus chatting to me through an Instagram account.
- [36:06]
B
Mommy, it's me. Is that me?
- [36:09]
A
There's a term called sharing. Have you heard this term, sharing?
- [36:13]
B
Where people are.
- [36:15]
A
Yeah, parents.
- [36:16]
B
Sharing. Hang on, we've got trouble here. Hello, darling.
- [36:21]
C
Right on cue.
- [36:22]
A
No.
- [36:23]
B
Mind your handies. You want to see what he was saying to me yesterday?
- [36:30]
A
Is that in a really English accent? I love it. He told me to.
- [36:34]
B
He told me to off yesterday. In the right context. In the right context.
- [36:38]
A
And so you just got context, as in, like you did something deserving of free. Tell it to off.
- [36:42]
B
Smart baby.
- [36:46]
A
Yeah, he called me out. My.
- [36:49]
B
I think. I think I asked him to brush his teeth and he goes off.
- [36:56]
A
Well, this is very encouraging because you know what they say. The more you swear, the smarter you are. You're building a Rain man over there. I love it. Yes.
- [37:05]
B
You're not meant to do anything, but I had to record that video. But you're meant to ignore it. But, like, when he's downstairs saying sake and stuff, I'm literally like, just. I can't even look at him because
- [37:15]
A
where do they get us?
- [37:16]
B
Well, where do you think he got sake? Who Says sake all the time. You. Yes, yes.
- [37:22]
A
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
- [37:24]
B
Theodore. Gigi know bad words though. And they'd never say it like TT was ratting someone out yesterday. He was like this boy in reception, he said off and. And I was like, truffle. No, it was after school and he went. And as he walked out, he sold. He told three different families about this boy.
- [37:39]
A
Did you ever see that video that went around? It was one of the funniest things I've ever seen. I think it was a nativity play. And there was a little girl and she took the microphone and she was like, everyone in my class is really sweet. Do you remember this video?
- [37:52]
B
No.
- [37:52]
A
Except for one little boy.
- [37:55]
B
And then everyone just grabs the mic
- [37:57]
A
off her and she just walks off waving and she was about to just go Chernobyl on lad in her class. Everyone got. Except for one little boy. And she's her little finger up. She's gonna put this four year old on blast in front of the whole school fair play. I was like, this is how I flirted as a kid. So they'll probably end up getting married. I'm still just kind of enjoying thinking about Wuthering Heights, to be honest.
- [38:29]
B
Stop. I haven't watched it. I still haven't seen it. Oh my God. Sorry. Can we just do a little culture Pocket or corner, whatever we call it.
- [38:46]
A
Yeah.
- [38:46]
B
Who has watched on Disney plus the. It's called Love Story. It's about Carolyn. Carolyn and John F. Kennedy Jr. And it is. Have you seen it?
- [39:01]
A
Stunning.
- [39:02]
B
You've seen it?
- [39:03]
A
I haven't seen it yet. I haven't seen it yet.
- [39:05]
B
You're so lucky. There's five episodes. They come out on Fridays. It is like I started watching it on the way to Manchester and I finished it by the time I was getting back and it was just.
- [39:15]
A
Oh, great.
- [39:16]
B
It's the kind of. I was trying to take my phone out when I was getting my makeup done. I was like, that's a bit rude. Just stop watching it. But it's so addictive to watch. That's mine for the week.
- [39:26]
A
I love a love story. I love a love story. Well, I. So my culture corner, I haven't been yet, but when I go, I will tell you. I booked a single ticket, single woman, day eight to go sit to go and see Cynthia Erivo in Dracula in the West End. I did. I booked a little map now for myself. She plays all the roles and 20000 lines she has. She was recommended by Louise O'. Neill. She was saying the first Opening, like there was a bit of. They were saying that she was kind of struggling with some of the lines. I'm like, yeah, because she's 20, 000 of them. Apparently now she's nailed it. So I can't wait.
- [39:59]
B
That's a nice little date for yourself, isn't it? Yeah.
- [40:03]
A
GT and me. Just me and Cynthia. Just me and Cynthia.
- [40:06]
B
I kind of, I don't know. And this is mean of me because I think it's just off that Wicked press tour. I'm a bit like, oh, I don't know.
- [40:12]
A
No, she's phenomenal.
- [40:14]
B
Can I just say, I did meet her at the baftas, like three years ago and she was very nice. Yeah, it was before her. It was before her Wicked story.
- [40:22]
A
She's an artiste.
- [40:23]
B
Do you know what popped up on my Instagram today?
- [40:26]
A
Me.
- [40:27]
B
You, of course you pop up. But not Joe. Don't see Joe very often. Adele, basically. You know Adele, the singer. Big like Adele.
- [40:34]
A
She's no. Who.
- [40:38]
B
I mean, I don't, I don't even know. She doesn't have a second name. She just did.
- [40:41]
A
Just Adele. Do you remember when I was due to go and see her in the Sphere in LA and she called in sick?
- [40:46]
B
Yeah. Do you remember? But sure. You were having a ball at you two at your pal Dave Grill.
- [40:51]
A
We went to you too then. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I went to YouTube then. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
- [40:55]
B
So Adele, I, I, I do love it. I love a divorce story. Like when you, when someone's trying to do you out of something and then, and then they don't win. So Adele, when she was getting divorced from her husband, Simon Konecki, they were married for seven years, they have a child together. So he asked for half of her 380 million dollar fortune of money.
- [41:18]
A
In the words of our great philosopher, Otto. Off.
- [41:21]
B
Yeah, off. So her team were preparing to pay. I love this story. Her team were preparing to pay him $190 million. Then she had a forensic accountant and he found, he found a receipt. Yeah, a receipt that changed everything. So it was from. It was. When I start whispering. Does that make it better? It was from 2017. His credit card, he used it at a hotel restaurant in Paris. But do you know what? Adele wasn't in Paris. She was in London recording that week. And so what the investigators then did was pull the hotel CCTV and found him checking in with a woman staying for three nights, using their joint account to pay for the getaway. He cheated and used her money to fund the affair. Now, California Law, TV from that long ago. Joe, don't ruin me.
- [42:21]
A
It's Adele.
- [42:22]
B
Yeah, Joe.
- [42:23]
A
She can turn back time.
- [42:25]
B
She. You know, that's Cher, but Adele. Oh,
- [42:32]
A
They both can. Collaboratively.
- [42:34]
B
Well, come here to me. The reason that they could do this is because in California, they have an infidelity breach. And so if one person commits adultery and uses community funds, they forfeit their right to equal asset division. So basically, they had the. The receipts for it. And he said, you know What? He spent $47,000 on his affairs. And so he didn't get 50. 50. Now he's still. He's still got 50 million, but he was due 190 million. So he lost 140 million because he's a dirty dog. And I hope she taxes.
- [43:09]
A
If I was having an affair with the Dallas husband, I expect more than 47 grand spent on me, considering how much money he has access to. That's my take from it. Cheap bastard. This is all very. Is it Whitney Houston? What's that song where she goes through the receipts?
- [43:22]
B
It's not right, but. No.
- [43:24]
A
Yes. Friday night you and your boys went out to eat. Then they hung out. Yes, you did. If six of y' all went out
- [43:42]
B
cheap. Yeah.
- [43:47]
A
Found your credit card receipt. Yeah. You always got to keep an eye on the lads, don't you?
- [43:51]
B
Huh? No. What a loser I am. I remember when that song came out. It was before I owned a car, and my dream was to have, like, at a convertible car so I could listen to that. That song on full volume with my friends driving around.
- [44:09]
A
Who wronged you?
- [44:09]
B
I look so cute.
- [44:11]
A
Yeah, you would. And you would have.
- [44:13]
B
Who wronged me? My dad. He got me a Skoda Fab saloon and burnt orange love.
- [44:20]
A
Where is it? Iconic.
- [44:22]
B
But when.
- [44:23]
A
When that witness, you're like, this is so. These lyrics are so specific. You know, when you're like. This is like. She's like. She's reading from her diary. Like, she's even pretending to kind of dress it up. So vogue. I got quite the fright today, okay. I was spinning through the papers, ticking through the headlines, and I saw Katie Taylor named grand marshal of St. Patrick's Day Parade. And I went, oh, my God, V has been sacked already. Scandalicious. Genuine news got a fright. And then it went in the US And I was like, oh, thank God her well is safe.
- [45:02]
B
Are you telling me there's a spot for me in the U. S. Next year?
- [45:05]
A
I didn't know. Katie Taylor is in Cape Cod with her husband, who's a widower, and with five his Five children. Jesus, Katie. Fair play. I did not. I didn't know that. And so we.
- [45:17]
B
Boxer. The boxer.
- [45:18]
A
Yeah, yeah, yeah. She's married to a man whose wife obviously passed away. And so she's the stepmother to five children.
- [45:27]
B
I'm gonna.
- [45:27]
A
I'm gonna love them very much. That's quite the undertaking.
- [45:30]
B
That's what I say to Neil. I'm like, jesus Christ. She must have really loved my mother. It's a loss. I like her even more now that she. I know something like that.
- [45:41]
A
I know, I know, I know. They're obviously very special kids. We wish her well as a fellow grand marshal with you. And we view in Dublin and we've Emma Dabbery in London. Do you know Emma Dabbi? She wrote book don't touch my hair.
- [45:53]
B
Yeah.
- [45:53]
A
So all the women are shining for the Dublin. Dublin Marshall parades. No, man. No, man.
- [45:58]
B
Oh, my God. I'm so excited. It's a bit like I. I still don't know what I'm fully wearing yet. I think I'm gonna wear like a really nice Paul Costello jacket. I have to wear Irish.
- [46:07]
A
You gotta wear Irish. Imagine you wrapped up an Alexander Wang. It's like.
- [46:10]
B
No, no, no.
- [46:11]
A
Read the room, read the room.
- [46:12]
B
Yeah, just. Just an Alexander Alexandra McQueen. Just like a British flag dress.
- [46:21]
A
The union dress flag that Jerry Hollywell wore in this Boys girls. Perfect.
- [46:25]
B
That's what I'm wearing.
- [46:27]
A
Get it, girl.
- [46:31]
B
Thank you everyone for listening. That was. I thought I've had a great time, guys and I hope you have all had a great time listening and do subscribe to our YouTube.
- [46:39]
A
I want to listen to Razali again. I mean it like just what, what a tune it like to say. It'll make you want to hit the town It'll make you want to hit the town. This has been a global player original production.