Vogue's Hit, Joanne's News & Pavarotti's Cake

Summary

My Therapist Ghosted Me – Episode Summary

Podcast: My Therapist Ghosted Me
Episode: Vogue's Hit, Joanne's News & Pavarotti's Cake
Hosts: Vogue Williams & Joanne McNally
Date: March 13, 2026

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Overview

In this characteristically honest and hilariously offbeat episode, Vogue and Joanne riff on recent misadventures—a cycling accident, big news about home ownership, and the surprising origin of a famous dessert—while meandering through Irish pop culture, Instagram etiquette, celebrity gossip, and St. Patrick’s Day paranoia. They’re joined throughout by producer Joe, whose stoic responses ground the duo's wilder tangents. As always, the vibe is irreverent, chatty, and full of quotable moments.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Vogue’s Cycle Lane Incident

[00:25–04:35]

• Accident Recap: Vogue tells the story of accidentally colliding with a cyclist while running errands in the rain.
• Honesty & Consequences: Reminisces about being too honest after a previous minor accident led to paying for car repairs. (“I’ve got to stop being so honest, because not everyone’s honest. They’re liars and takers.” – Vogue, [00:51])
• Cyclist Interaction: The cyclist, a dentist, was in pain but ultimately forgiving.
• Reflection: The hosts joke about "pretty privilege" and how appearances impact forgiveness in accidents.

Memorable Quotes:

• "It’s giving Wuthering Heights." – Joanne on Vogue’s bushy brows, [01:19]
• "You know sometimes our womanly ways are a massive benefit. I'll be totally honest, I can slip it into feminine here when I need to. I can bat those eyelashes." – Joanne, [05:07]

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2. Podcast & Tour Announcements + Live Show Banter

[06:05–09:00]

• Celebrating nearly five years of the podcast.
• Joanne “violently” plugs new Australia and U.S. live dates ([07:24]–[08:02]).
• Vogue laments missing out on early tickets to Joanne’s second Three Arena show.
• Running joke about production seats and complimentary tickets.
• Banter about Halloween costumes, stage stunts, and cameos (“I’ll pop up through the middle. God, you don’t have to pay any extra cash.” – Vogue, [10:01]).

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3. Boiling Bodies: Funerals & Wills

[10:23–12:04]

• Revisiting discussions on “boil-in-the-bag” body funerals, macabre but fascinating (“I’m deeply aroused by, and I’d like to talk about it…” – Vogue, [11:08]).
• Joanne admits she’s writing a will; both joke about keeping assets away from certain family members.

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4. Joanne’s Big News: Homeownership

[13:26–15:59]

• Headline: Joanne announces she has bought her first house in London.
• Context: She hesitates to mention it due to the housing crisis but notes: “As a single person it’s hard buying houses, especially in London when you’re like, you want how much for this? Looking out on a load of bins…” ([14:01])
• Generational Gap: Laments that her mother (a Boomer) got a house for next to nothing.
• Plans: House is a renovated Georgian, has a garden; Joanne jokes about getting rabbits and the harsh realities of pet ownership.
• Career Impact: Jokes she’ll take any brand deal now to cover the mortgage: “I want no judgment from anyone… I’ll be collabing with Shein, Boohoo, whatever.” ([18:09])

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5. Parade Anxiety & Chitchat

[20:49–23:28]

• Vogue reveals anxiety about leading the St. Patrick's Day parade. She dreams of being attacked with potatoes (“...someone threw a potato at my eyebrow and it burst my eyebrow open.” – Vogue, [21:16]).
• Joanne ups the ante: “There's a chance you could get shot like JFK. I’m saying it here.” ([21:15])

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6. Celebrity & Culture Tangents

[23:33–32:42]

• Jackie Onassis Story: Vogue’s family home in Howth hosted Jackie O once (“She slept in my bed in H…” – Vogue, [23:14]).
• TV Recommendations:
  • “Your Mum's Rats” – Vogue calls it “so sad, but a really, really good watch.” [24:40]
  • Louis Theroux’s “Manosphere” as homework for listeners. [24:22]
• Timothée Chalamet Scandal: The actor dismissed ballet and opera in an interview, irking both hosts. They defend the arts (“We’ll all have our ballet and opera era… as an ex-ballerina myself from the age of seven to nine, I found it highly offensive.” – Joanne, [27:23])
• Pavarotti’s Cake: Joking about pavlova cake being named after Pavarotti (“If that’s true, I am in effect Australia’s national dessert.” – Joanne, [27:48])

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7. Social Media, Regret, and International Women’s Day

[38:01–41:28]

• International Women’s Day Anxiety: Both fret about the “performance” of posting tributes, worrying who they forgot to tag.
• Brand Co-opting: Discussion about brands using International Women’s Day for sales.
• “I was paralyzed in fear and I posted nothing.” – Joanne, [39:15]
• Vogue’s mum accidentally reposts Joanne, confusing her with someone else. (“I think she thought you were Amber.” – Vogue, [40:34])
• Vogue shares her mum’s shopping habits and her stepdad’s new stoic way of handling them.

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8. Beauty, Makeup, and Skincare Routines

[41:33–45:04]

• Joanne talks about trying to “stretch” pro makeup over multiple days—then hears Miriam O’Callaghan does the same! Vogue expresses horror over the hygiene aspect.
• Niall Horan is rumored to have a 20-step skin care routine; both hosts are incredulous and confront the minimalist/maximalist divide.

Memorable Quotes:

• “Less is more. Don’t be putting all this in your face… bit of serum, bit of SPF, throw in your fake freckles and go.” – Joanne via advice from dermatologist Katrina Ryan, [44:43]

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9. Comedy, Petty Exes, and Drug Stories

[34:01–37:24]

• Shares a dark story about a couple fighting over a dog—one ex cremated the pet out of spite (immediately vetoed as “too heavy” for the opener).
• Comparisons of policing in Ireland and Russia, including a viral video of an officer playing VR at a raid.
• Drug stories: How do people “find” new drugs? Who first discovered heroin in poppies? Hosts encourage Vogue to wiki this for future episodes.

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Timestamps for Notable Segments

• Vogue’s Cycle Lane Accident: [00:25–04:35]
• Live Show/Tour Announcements: [06:05–09:00]
• Boiling Bodies & Wills: [10:23–12:04]
• Joanne Buys a House: [13:26–15:59]
• Brand Collab Jokes: [17:37–18:44]
• Parade Anxiety: [20:49–23:28]
• Jackie O Slept in Vogue’s House: [23:14]
• Timothée Chalamet on Opera/Ballet: [26:11–28:00]
• International Women’s Day Social Media Dilemmas: [38:01–41:28]
• Miriam O’Callaghan’s Makeup Routine: [42:16–43:19]
• Dog & Drug Stories: [34:01–37:24]

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Notable Quotes

"I’ve got to stop being so honest, because not everyone’s honest. They’re liars and takers."
– Vogue, [00:51]

"You know, sometimes our womanly ways are a massive benefit. I can bat those eyelashes."
– Joanne, [05:07]

“As a single person it’s hard buying houses, especially in London when you’re like, you want how much for this? Looking out on a load of bins with a spare bedroom that’s basically a wardrobe.”
– Joanne, [14:01]

“There’s a chance you could get shot like JFK. I’m saying it here.”
– Joanne, [21:15]

“As an ex-ballerina myself from the age of seven to nine, I found it highly offensive.”
– Joanne, [27:23]

“I want no judgment from anyone… I’ll be collabing with Shein, Boohoo, whatever.”
– Joanne, [18:09]

“Less is more. Don’t be putting all this in your face… bit of serum, bit of SPF, throw in your fake freckles and go.”
– Joanne quoting dermatologist Katrina Ryan, [44:43]

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Tone & Dynamics

The episode is chatty, irreverent, and quick-witted, featuring the hosts’ signature blend of honesty, observational humor, and personal anecdotes. They flow seamlessly from confessions and awkward admissions to cultural commentary and straight-faced lunacy, with frequent interruptions for running jokes and callbacks to earlier stories.

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For Listeners: Essential Takeaways

• Joanne has bought her first London house and expects no shame for future brand deals to pay the mortgage.
• Vogue survived an awkward but amicable cycling accident (dentist emerged unharmed).
• Both hosts are pro-ballet, opera, and happy to debunk celebrity snobbery.
• Instagram etiquette continues to be an anxiety minefield, especially around International Women’s Day.
• “Pretty privilege” and “womanly ways” are tools, not taboos (at least when it comes to cycling mishaps).
• Be skeptical of pavlova’s history, but open to getting dessert next time you’re in Australia.

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For even more chaotic wisdom, tour details, and outtakes, catch the full episode wherever you listen to podcasts.

Transcript

[A]

This is a global Player original podcast.

[B]

Are we starting?

[C]

We're starting.

[B]

Okay. We have begun. Fantastic.

[C]

So I was involved in an. In a.

[B]

In a hit and run.

[C]

No, I did not run, but there was a hit.

[B]

Just a hit and walk.

[C]

And I was unsure of whether. Do you know, I was unsure if I should post, if I should mention it on the pod because remember that time my basket hit somebody's car door of my bike? Well, this turned into a whole thing and I ended up having to pay basically for two new doors for him when I, when, when it was a wooden basket. And I was like, I. I have got to stop being so honest, because not everyone's honest. They're liars and takers.

[B]

Absolutely.

[C]

So I was, I was going to get my brows done and Kim in the Dublin. And the Dublin Makeup Academy in Dublin. I was only whizzing in.

[B]

Nice.

[C]

Have to give her a shout out. I was only whizzing in because it wasn't a full treatment. It was a tidy because my eyebrows, like, the hairs will grow up to my. The hair on my head, they're so long.

[B]

They are. It's fabulous. It's. It's giving Wuthering Heights.

[C]

I can't bear it. I wish it was my eyelashes, but it's my eyebrows and they go all rotten. And someone said to me, they were like, oh, my God. Oh, what's the story with that despicable me brow? And I was like, wow, someone on Instagram. I was. I need to get them sorted. Anyway, so I went in, I was on my way to a different job and I ran. It was raining and like, I stopped outside. You know, it's on, it's on Fitzwilliam Road or whatever it's called. And I just walked. And I did not know it was a cycle lane. Oh, yeah, there's cars and then there's parked cars and then there's a cycle lane and then there's a footpath. So obviously there's the park car. So you're just like, oh, I just walk onto the footpath now. Because that's the usual way of things. Knocked over. Fell on his bike.

[B]

Hold on, you knocked him over? He knocked you over?

[C]

Well, we kind of knocked each other over, yes.

[B]

Was he wearing a helmet? Is there a. Is there a. Is there. Is there a law case coming our way?

[C]

He was not wearing a helmet, but that is.

[B]

Well, then, you know, it can't be helped now.

[C]

I don't want to throw him under the bus because we both, we were both in the wrong. We were both in. I didn't see a light on the bike either, I must admit.

[B]

Was there a boss involved?

[C]

There was no buses involved. It was just me and a. And a gentleman who was drenched from the rain, and I was trying to, like, wrangle his bike off his foot because he'd gotten a cart in the pedal. And then he was. He was in a lot of pain and. And I was like. All I could say was like, like, excuse me. I was in pain too. I had to wear elbows because I fell and. But I'm pretty tough.

[B]

Did he know who you are? Is he a fan of fairy?

[C]

So I was like, oh, my God, are you okay? And I had a taxi waiting for me, and I was. My taxi to bring you home. Like, it's. It's like your trousers are wet, you fall in the pool. And he was just like. He was in a lot of pain. He was like, I'm fine, I'm fine, I'm fine. And I was like, are you sure? Please, can I just. I feel really bad, like, I can't just stand here and leave you here. And he was like, honestly, I'm fine. And he's like, oh, Jesus, I'm a dentist. My hand. And I was like, oh, no.

[B]

Let the litigation begin.

[C]

Now, it wasn't a high speed collision at any rate, so. So I was like. Anyway, he was really nice about it because, you know, the way some cyclists. I've had two incidents with cyclists. Another one, there was a cyclist behind me and. And I. I turned and he was like. And then by the time I turned, he'd hit the back of me and he had those clips on his feet, so fell off the bike. But he was like, sorry, my fault. And I was like, really? Fine, I cut you off, but sure, whatever.

[B]

You're never supposed to say it's your fault. Even if you drive straight into someone's sitting room and your car is in there in their oven.

[C]

Never. I don't know.

[B]

I don't know whose fault this is, but I. I'm calling my insurance company immediately. You never say it's your fault.

[C]

Oh, I've learned my lesson. Anyway, your man on the bike was so nice, and he was like, listen, I'm totally fine, blah, blah, blah, blah. So he cycled off in his merry way. And I was like, what a nice fella. And then he mailed me this way. I didn't mention it. I was like, I'll just wait to see what happens. And he mailed me the next day and he's like right as rain today. And I was like, I haven't taken a dentist off. Off the list. But yeah, I just thought, you know, what, in the pissing rain. And we both mined into each other and you were still sound about it. And I just think, shout out to that dentist if you're listening.

[B]

I wonder, if it was Joe that cycled into him, would he be as forgiving? Joe, what you reckon?

[A]

No, absolutely not. It'll probably knock me out.

[B]

I agree.

[C]

And you would have deserved it. But on the other hand, did not. Yeah, because it was. It's.

[B]

I call it pretty privilege.

[C]

Well, will I tell you what I.

[B]

No fence joke.

[A]

Now, in fairness, let's call a ugly spade a spade, shall we?

[C]

I'm sorry, I wouldn't usually agree with you, but I was wearing a sequin number.

[B]

Yeah, yeah.

[C]

Makeup done, like, I had made the effort.

[B]

You know, sometimes our womanly ways are a massive benefit. I'll be totally honest, I can slip it into feminine here when I need to. I can bite those eyelashes.

[C]

When he was on the ground, I was like, you're right. Like, hurry up, it's raining on my hair. I just gotta. You all right? You all right?

[B]

Yeah. When you drive pissed into a garden station by accident, you're just batting your eyelashes and they're like, go on. On your way there now. It's not a woman. Like, you get a record. I'm joking. Obviously. I don't drink and drive, nor do I drive into garden station.

[C]

She doesn't even drive.

[B]

I don't even drive. I barely drink.

[C]

I mean, you don't even drive.

[B]

You're like a virgin who can't drive. Two things you've made me think of by telling us the story where you got away with murder there on the cycle lane, because you're hot now. One.

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

Do you remember? And I've told the story before, but again, I'm not even apologizing for repeating stories at this stage. How long are we doing this podcast? 20 years. I. I couldn't remember actually.

[C]

How many years is it? I said that yesterday. I said five yesterday.

[A]

Approaching its fifth birthday.

[B]

God, Joe, have you had the plan for us rental?

[A]

No, I. I text you about it. I asked you, when are you flying to Australia? Because we need to have its fifth person before you do that.

[B]

I didn't see that. Oh, speaking of Australia. Thanks for the segue, Joe.

[A]

Nice. Glad to help.

[B]

I said to Vogue, I said, I'm sorry, Vogue, but there's going to be some violent plugging on this podcast.

[C]

I dressed up as you today because I knew that we were gonna plug. I'm wearing Joanne's stage outfit, courtesy of Lifestyle Sports.

[B]

I'm sure they.

[C]

I'm sure they sell it in other places, but Lifestyle Sports basically do Joanne's. And I was like, I'm gonna dress up as this bitch for Halloween. I've got.

[B]

You need to get the varsity letters, the pedophile written on the back.

[C]

And I'm also going to get a big sage plant and just walk around. I'm just going to do like two. I'm just going to be a hit, a hypocrite. So I'm going to have like. I'm going to have weights in one hand and a bottle of wine in the other hand.

[B]

Perfect. Yeah, yeah, yeah. There's actually quite a bit of weight in a bottle of wine. Just saying. Could be 1kgs.

[C]

Would you say there is? There is, sure. During lockdown, when you couldn't buy weights anymore because everyone bought them. I was using like tins of beans and stuff and bot water. They do the same job.

[B]

Of course, it was Bear Grylls over there. Just Australia. Oh, thanks for mentioning that, Joe. Just some pluggy plug plugs there. Melbourne. So we've added some extra dates, just letting you know. 7pm, 12th of April, Melbourne. What else have we got here? That's in red. Oh, Perth, 23rd of April, 645. What else, what else, what else? Oh, final Sydney days, 29th of April, 645. That's it then. I'm out. Also, America's now on sale and. And we're going all over.

[C]

Do you know what? You know what I'm raging about?

[A]

That's it then. It's all done, apart from the entire North America.

[B]

And then America also, New York is on the way, but it's part of the New York Comedy Festival that has to go through there.

[C]

I was wondering, I was like, what did New York do to her? Hell, I was very disappointed to see the second three arena.

[B]

Very disappointed. Only because that was I.

[C]

Only because I was devastated because I was so heartbroken about not being able to buy the 50 tickets for the first three. So when the second one came up, I was like, oh, they're now available.

[B]

I said, I said, I said to Vogue, I sent her the link. I said, you'll notice now, Vogue, there's no need for complimentary tickets now at this stage, the production seats are no longer yours. There you go, bit of business. Thank you.

[C]

I'm having my girl's Christmas party. I Thought there's terrible.

[B]

And you'll be paying for it.

[C]

I certainly will. I certainly won't. I'll be arriving in this track too, and I'll say it's my show. Get out of the way.

[B]

Yeah, you'll be sitting side of stage, but your friends will be fine. I was. I was saying on insta the other day, there was a ladder.

[C]

If Amber asks you for a free ticket, please, just for fun, tell her no, I'll charge her. I'll charge her double center link.

[B]

I said, if you don't mind. I'm kind of looking for more kind of a highbrow audience now. So I've kind of. Kind of moved on. It's kind of a private event now. I've invited Victoria Beckham, etc and the course. Yeah, it's more like a press event really.

[C]

You should get. Because you do have a big. The three arena. Like that's gotta. You gotta go bigger. So I would suggest a bit of Michael Flatley on stage would be brilliant. If you can get him on stage.

[B]

This. This has to stop.

[C]

No, Joe, How. How unexpected to have. I'll be your listen. Okay, fine. You've asked. That's fine.

[B]

Oh, God. No, no, no, no. I was like, she's gonna read into this. She's gonna think it's an invitation. She's wearing a costume. She's gonna want to be. She's gonna want to be lower down on strings as the finale. I know she is.

[C]

No, I'll pop up through the middle. God, you don't have to pay any extra cash.

[B]

I'll pop up through the folk f. Pat's popping up in the middle for sake Pat.

[C]

She's always trying to steal my thunder.

[B]

She doesn't know that yet, so maybe cut that out. Joe,

[C]

Have we spoken about boiling bodies?

[B]

We have.

[A]

Is that a beauty thing or is that a disposal.

[B]

Wave? We've definitely done boiling the body funerals. Telling you now we have. I'm gonna say my skills come out in strange ways and one thing I have a great memory for is topics on the podcast. And I am telling you now on my mother's life, which I'll be honest, I'm very quick.

[C]

Funeral coming her way if you want me to.

[B]

I'm very quick to bet my mother's life on things, so don't take it. Anyway, now I'm almost. I'm 87.5. Sure. We did boil in the bag body funerals before.

[C]

Okay, listeners, if we've done boiling the bag body funerals, let us know because it's something I am. I'm deeply aroused by, and I'd like to talk about it because it's, It's.

[B]

It is the way things are going because we are going to run out of, like, land and you know what?

[C]

No, they're always saying that. They're saying we're running out of space for humans now the population is in decline. Like, make your mind up. Honestly, it's always one way or the other. And I've just. I've had it up to here. I'm pointing above my head.

[B]

Either we did it on the pod or I wrote it into my will. One way or the other. I've definitely dealt with boiling the bag body because I was like, you're like a bag of rice. They just boil you to death and off you go. That's what it is, isn't it?

[C]

Have you written a will and. I haven't written a will. You've written a will.

[B]

I'm in the. I'm in the middle of writing a will.

[C]

Okay, so you actually have to write a will.

[A]

You both have assets.

[C]

Yeah. Joanne's goes to me and mine goes to my kids and bypasses Spencer.

[B]

I just don't want Otto getting any of my money. So that's why I need to be very clear that I need to write a will now to write all my God children out of it, because I have about 19 of them. Joe, two things to say to you. One, I did an interview yesterday, and the first question they asked me was she was like, I told my friend I was interviewing you, and she asked me to ask you, do you ever speak to Joe? Do you ever text Joe outside of the podcast with anything not to do with the podcast? And I had to think really hard, and I said, no.

[C]

Joe's a man, though. Men don't do that. They don't just text each other to say, hey, are you like, I'll send Joanne things. And I'm like, did you see what I sent you on Insta? We need to discuss it now. We need to. Like, boys don't do that.

[B]

It's podcast, so if it's something about a me a topic, it's always podcast related. So I'm sorry, Joe, because I think we give the impression that you are the victim of kind of an abusive relationship. So we're sorry. I'll send you some memes. Secondly, thank you. You're Grant. I'll put you on the meme list. It's my love language.

[C]

I'd be careful, Joe. At the weekends, it gets Rather busy there

[B]

around 3am cuz I. It take. I, I don't like to socialize in real life so I just send memes and then get replies and then that's my social battery charged second show. I have some news that Vogue already knows.

[A]

Okay.

[C]

Oh my God. This is like heartwarming news.

[B]

Bit of news. I bought a house. I'm finally on the ladder like the rest of you. I.

[C]

The one, the one bought the house.

[B]

Yes. Now firstly, I was, I was, I, I was unsure whether to say this on the podcast because I'm very aware with the housing crisis and everything they don't want some bragging going on about her buying. But I will say it took me, it's taken me a very long time to do it.

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

And as a single person it's hard buying houses, especially in London when you're like, you want how much for this? Looking out on a load of bins with a spare bedroom that's basically a wardrobe. I was saying to Pat, you're going to be sleep standing up beside the Dyson when you come over. But I managed to pull it off. But you know what I was thinking? I was like, it's so crazy. Like my mother when she bought a house, she's a boomer, she.

[C]

They were 20 grand back in the day.

[B]

A shilling and a bag of rice.

[C]

I know. They didn't know how lucky they bloody had it.

[B]

A satsuma and then they sent to sell to for billions of pounds. And now we're looking at houses and I genuinely was because I've never been in the market to buy a house before. I've been renting all my life and house sharing and all that jazz and kind of swinging back and forth to pass.

[C]

My God, think about this now and like you think back to the mushrooms. That just doesn't feel that long ago. I know.

[B]

And now if I have mushrooms, it's by choice.

[C]

Yes.

[B]

Do you know what I mean?

[C]

Now I don't want to take loads of credit but I mean I, John and I went for a walk at the weekend and we went, we walked by the house and I, I felt like I, I felt, I felt, you know what I feel inside? This is for you. And I feel like I brought a, a blessing to the sale.

[B]

You did. You did bring a blessing. You did bring a blessing. The owner saw you. No, I'm not, I'm not. I was like vogue, would you sign a there and send it through the letter box? Might help move things along.

[C]

I think it might take you in the wrong direction actually.

[B]

They're like that riff raff.

[C]

But it did feel like your house. Like it's. George.

[B]

Yeah, it's very pretty. It's a Georgian house and it's turnkey. And when I say. Someone was saying to me, a friend was saying, would you not look at getting like a doer upper? And I was like, are you. I. I don't even want to turn the key.

[C]

You know what I mean?

[B]

I'm not even asked turning the key. I want an automatic door that I just put my face. My ey eyes read my eyes. Just walk in.

[C]

It's.

[B]

It's beautiful. The woman who owned it before me, she renovated it. It's stunning. So I'm so, so pleased. And has a garden. So I'm gonna get a load of rabbits.

[C]

Oh, Jesus.

[B]

Yeah, I'm gonna get Rob. I'm gonna start with rabbits. And also I did a shoot yesterday and the photographer had a chihuahua, but then grow saying to me that rabbits. He was like, it's, it's. It's quite a sad because I get eaten all the time by foxes and dogs and all. I said, if you're going to be bringing in heads every second week to

[C]

boil them, I tell you what. I had to babysit a rabbit one night. I'm not joking. Just in the last apartment there. And I was like, I don't know what to do with the rabbit. So I just put the rabbit in the bathroom at night. Like, obviously it was great when we were all awake and we're all petting the rabbit and then I put him in the toilet and then I like, I put out water and stuff like that. Holy. When I went in the next day, there was shite all over the toilet. It had ripped up my basket. It ripped up all the toilet paper. I was like, I am not ever getting a rabbit. They are trouble.

[B]

Yes, yes. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Well, that's what crowd said. He said it's, it's. It's a heartbreaking life. So I, I now have a substantial mortgage. So if you see me doing a little more collabing online, I want, I want no judgment from anyone. From anyone. Yeah, whatever I'm collabing with, just let me off. I'm a single woman with a mortgage. Dignity is no longer something I'm leading with. I don't care what I'm collabing with. Remember they tried to get me. Do you remember that. That odor company where you pop the thing down after the toilet and it's,

[C]

it's hard to get you to do that.

[B]

Yeah. I'll be selling cigarettes. I'll be selling anything. Hand grenades. You name it.

[C]

Yeah, she'll be out on your street corner and a Ford Fiesta. You'll have to hop in the back to buy your goods.

[B]

I'll be the. I'll be the face of Lost Marys or Proud Mary. It's one of those vapes. What are the vapes called?

[C]

Philip's Field.

[B]

And I want no judgment. It's hard out here, you know, as a single woman.

[C]

Listen, it'll be worth it with the new house. It'll be worth it.

[B]

Abby said I'll be collabing with Sheen. What's that factory that they just.

[C]

Boohoo. Is that not boo. No. You'll just have a new line out with them.

[B]

They're not children. They're just petite.

[C]

Let's ruin the environment together.

[B]

Yeah.

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

Yeah.

[C]

Hi.

[B]

Fast fashion. Have you thought about it? I'm just flagging it now. There might be an increase in some

[C]

collapse and there might be no responsibility behind any of it.

[B]

And I will expect to be supported as it'll. I'll be. I'll be. I'll be vaping. I'll be. I'll be plugging vapes on International Women's Day because I'll be hiding behind the fact that I'm a single woman trying to buy a home. There you go.

[C]

That's actually brilliant. It's great. It's very good news. And I did. And. And it's also four minutes away from my new house.

[B]

It's four minutes away. Stones throw.

[C]

I'm absolutely thrilled.

[B]

Yeah.

[C]

I'm just going to come in. I come into my kitchen one morning, mom will just be sitting there vaping, obviously, with her new collab.

[B]

With my new collab. Someone has to mind the rabbits. It's not going to be me. I can tell you the second I get a dog.

[C]

You can get a dog. Because I do want a second dog, but I don't want to have the responsibility of the second dog. So I. I saw a dog on a rescue site last night and she's. No one wants her. I'll send you a video for. You can get her and then I'll share her and I'll take a rest when you go away. Yeah. Yeah.

[B]

I'm a rescue.

[C]

You are a rescue. Yeah. They got lucky with you.

[B]

They did. Pat really hit the jackpot. God.

[C]

Lover.

[B]

But the second I move into the house, I have to go to the States for two months. So it's not. It's not ideal. Oh my God.

[C]

But they got a move in date and everything.

[B]

No, no, no, no. But I guess it's going to rall pretty quickly. It's going to r pretty quickly.

[C]

Have you put in the call to Kevin?

[B]

I've start. I've started sending Kevin some memes just to get him on board. Cuz he. Carolinas will be heavily involved.

[C]

I'd give it. He needs a couple more months to recover from what I've just done to him. So I just pulled off. Just a couple of months. Wait till it. I'll start.

[B]

I'll start sending nudes now to Kevin from Caroline. Just. Just to get. Will love that because it's a Georgian house already. I'm like I don't know how they're gonna get the up the stairs. Anyway, look, not my problem. Not my problem. It's Kevin's problem.

[C]

Joanne just gonna. If Joanna had to move around so she just start throwing sofas out the

[B]

third floor window of that wouldn't be ar.

[C]

Are you watching on YouTube? Because if you are, then please, please do subscribe because that's very important. You do so you're the first ones to get our videos. Do you know what? I had a bad dream and I think it might. Was it you who put this in my head about people throwing stuff at me because you know, you know the way I'm. I'm doing this. Yeah, I'm doing the same Patrick's Day parade. Sorry.

[B]

No, no, I didn't say throw. I said assassinated.

[C]

Assassin.

[B]

I said you. I said you needed the Pope mobile. I said you needed to a bulletproof and, and, and, and a helmet and a gum shield and ar need to be fully protected because there's a chance you could get shot like jfk. I'm saying it here. I've actually put a bat nut and Patty Paris, I hope you don't mind.

[C]

It is. It's seeping into my dreams, Joanne. I was, I was having. I was sleeping away, having a nice time and I had this dream that I was in. In the, in the, in the mobile. I don't know what kind of car I'll be in. I'm hoping now it's a closed roof and that someone threw a potato at my eyebrow and it burst my eyebrow open. So I was literally like in the dream I just had all blood running down my face because people were throwing potatoes at me. I could only I thought potatoes because they're hard and they're Irish.

[B]

Irish people would hardly use potato. Like we'd hardly represent Our own. The racism levels.

[C]

We're not. We're not very gunny. Right. So I'm hoping that. That, like, we're not heavily armed.

[B]

We're not heavily armed. No. I say something else. I say to be bottles of piss or something. If I was to just take a

[C]

guess, it could be bottles of piss,

[B]

you know, and that's why I want to be sitting beside you in the open top car. So when you get shot, the blood spatters on my outfit and then I sell it.

[C]

You said that's my plan. Well, you have to wear it for 24 hours, obviously.

[B]

Yes. Like JFK, Jacqueline Kennedy. Jackie Jack.

[C]

Jackie Onassis.

[B]

Jackie Onassis.

[C]

You know, she's. Can I say she's. Do you know she slept in. In my bedroom in our house in Howth. Is that not the weirdest story?

[B]

What?

[C]

Yeah. So we used to live in this house in Hope. That was the big house in Howth.

[B]

Sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry. Before you start this, can I just say, 20 years, we're doing this podcast. We've already admitted. We've already admitted. We're now repeating stories and you're saying, jackie, oh, NASA slept in your house and you're only telling us this name.

[C]

It hasn't come up before. When has it ever come up?

[B]

Whatever. Whatever. Nothing naturally comes up. You just plug it in like your eyebrow woman.

[C]

It just did naturally come off.

[A]

Probably could have chucked it into episode one, I'd say.

[C]

Yeah, she slept in my bed in H. Because we used to live in this house and the Hunts used to live there, and they owned the Hunt Museum. And when they were living there, Jackie O. Came to stay, and she stayed in. In my room, actually, in the bed that my mom still owns.

[B]

That's mattress.

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

Crazy. Yeah. You should kind of dry ride the bed like Barry Keoghan did in Sovereign. I have.

[C]

My mom walked in and said, what are you doing to my bed, Vogue?

[B]

And I said, mother, I'm riding Jackie Onassa, if you must know. Thank you.

[C]

Have you watched that show?

[B]

I'm so sorry, Vogue. I haven't watched that show. I'm really, really sorry. I will watch it. I know that. It's on my homework to do list. I got a little bit into Love is Blind. These women, some of them bought their wedding. The one I'm watching, she bought her wedding dress before she even started on the show. They're dying to get married. They're crying with their mums. They've got their garter on, their granny's giving them Heirlooms. And they're like, this is the most important day of my life. They're in the wedding dress, all their family's there, and then they walk up the aisle and they go, no. And they know they're gonna say no. And they still treat it like it's their wedding. It's wild. But I will watch that show. I promise.

[C]

I will watch that show. But you know what I started watching last night, which is now available. Oh, listeners, actually, I have. I have homework for us all. We have to watch Louis Through's Manosphere. It just landed today. I saw that. Have to watch that. But I was watching. I started watching, I swear, last night, and. Oh, my God.

[B]

Oh, your mom's rats.

[C]

I was balling.

[B]

Really? Okay.

[C]

Oh, it's just so sad. The start of it. It's really, really great. And I think it's getting to it, but, like, he just seems like such a nice person on Jes. You just. You don't know how debilitating it is. And, like, back in the day when he. He got it, everyone was just like, what's wrong with you? Like, why are you saying that? Like, and he kind of just had to grow up with just all those ticks and the mad stuff he was saying.

[B]

That B thing was such a show. My God.

[C]

Do you know, I feel everyone. Everyone involved big time. I know.

[B]

Why the. Why didn't they take it out?

[C]

I don't really know. I think I just. They said it was a tight Turner. I mean, it's not that tight. That's literally the word of all the words. Like, I know what. It was awful.

[B]

I must watch. I swear, though, that. And I love that actor. He was brilliant in it.

[C]

Oh, my. He is unbelievable in it. It's a really, really good watch.

[B]

Speaking of actors.

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

Is Timothy Shalam okay?

[C]

No, he's not.

[B]

I think he's finally. I think he's finally. Oh, by the way, we're.

[C]

I. I. Do you know what? I don't think he wants the. He doesn't want the Oscar. That's what's happened.

[B]

Yeah.

[C]

He's like, I have no space. I don't want the Oscar. How can I blow myself up?

[B]

Yeah, yeah, exactly. All he. Like, it's all I. This is kind of what his whole world has been like, working towards this Oscar.

[C]

Now, he hasn't done that well at all the other awards seasons, though, so maybe he's like, well, it. I'm not gonna get it anyway, so

[B]

I'll explain what happened. Timothy Chalamet was speaking to Matthew McConaughey and he was talking about. Because he, you know, takes himself very seriously as an actor and he believes in the work and he's all very kind of, you know, high end artiste. And he went, you know, I want to be involved in something that matters. I don't want to be something like ballet or opera work like no one gives a shit basically. And then. And you know what the gas thing is, his mother and his grandmother are dancers anyway. It's like Timothy, hold on, hold on. If you're in the arts and you want us all to take you very seriously, seriously, you can't be shitting on other art forms. Also, as I sit here in my stunning hotel room in the Conrad looking out at the National Concert hall, there's people going in and out of that place constantly. Now I don't know what goes on in there, but I'm assuming it's something operatic.

[C]

There is. Listen, Joanne and Joe, as an arts lover myself, particularly in the classical space, as you know, I found this particularly insulting. I just think think we will all have our ballet and opera era. I mean Andrea Bocelli. Who doesn't love Andrea Bocelli? And when you watch the, the like the blood, sweat and tears ballet dancers put into their art and.

[B]

And you're just their toes. Yes. As an ex ballerina myself from the age of seven to nine, I found it highly offensive. I'm a huge fan of opera and my favorite was that giant man who died.

[C]

Pavarotti.

[B]

Pavarotti.

[C]

I'm sure he'd love to hear himself being described as that

[B]

the name of dessert after him.

[C]

Did they Pavarotti.

[B]

Pavalova. I am Joe.

[C]

If that's true, I am in effect Australia's national dessert. John, for when you're over Pavlova. Yeah. It's the one thing. When I'm looking at a menu, it's the one thing. If it's on the menu, I'm like it. I have to get the Pavlova.

[B]

That's gas. I'll try the Pavlova when I'm in Melbourne on the. On the 12th of April at 7pm

[C]

I think that's my ex's birthday. Why? Why is that date so.

[B]

So because I've said it 19 times on the podcast because I'm trying to push it. Would that be why it's resonated?

[C]

I think that's my ex's birthday. Let me check.

[B]

I'll try.

[A]

The pub is not named after Pavarotti. However, the chocolate Pavarotti cake is that

[C]

is my ex's birthday, so. Joanne, you could actually send him a ticket.

[B]

Well, I mean, you have so many axes and I do have a lot of tickets to sell, so that would work.

[C]

Excuse me. I don't know.

[B]

I could fill the place with your husbands. Will I send them to your ex husbands?

[C]

Just the ex husbands. Don't, don't branch out any further than that. They'll be too much.

[B]

I think it's a thousand seaters. So that would work. Actually, that would work. There might be some overspill. There could be a couple of ex husbands having to wait in the lobby.

[C]

I'm glad that you think that about me because I am really concerned and so is Spencer, that I'm going to turn around one day and be like, I haven't lived enough. I need to get out there and be more, be more worldly, as we like to say. I've told you about my, I'm worried it will be a deep regret on my me. I might, well, I might move into swinging, I don't know, because it feels like that's on the, on the rise.

[B]

As someone who's out here in the trenches, I'm telling you, the grass is always drier. I can tell you.

[C]

You just, you were, you, you just rebuff all the people I bring to you. You'd no interest in Benicio del Toro. I, I, you're, you're scoffing at Michael Flatley and I just, I, I, I can't be the go between anymore. I refuse to do it because your standards are too high.

[B]

I told you on a Sex Sexual SA plan to resuscitate myself on June 1. Until then, I am first, like chilling, chilling like a frigid villain.

[C]

God, you lucky. I just couldn't be ours at the moment myself. So I'm just like, it's not the season.

[B]

It's not the season. So obviously Oscars, it's all about the press and it's all about building traction for yourself. And they're all on these, like the huge press door. And obviously Timothy wants this Oscar, like, and fair enough, like, whatever. Of course he does. He wants the Oscar.

[C]

He's a great actor. You have to give it to him.

[B]

But like, he's a great actor and

[C]

he goes out with Kylie Jenner. So, like, I'd probably give it to him just for that.

[B]

But I think he's actually kind of shying away from that a little bit now. I think he brought his mother to the last awards. I think he's been quite strategic now Also, fair play to Kylie Jenner. Charlie XCX has a film out at the moment called the Moment, which is kind of a take the piss documentary style. You know, the way a lot of like, acts make documentaries about their tours.

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

And Taylor Swift did a. And so Charlie actually acted one, but it's a kind of a tongue in cheek kind of take the piss. And Kylie Jenner has a little cameo in it. She's very good.

[C]

Kylie Jenner is, I'm telling you this, very good. But she seems like great crack as well. She has absolutely, like, she's nailed every, she's like, he's lucky to have her.

[B]

He's lucky to have her. And I know. And people were surprised that she was a good actress when her friend. She's been front of the camera since she was a fetus. So it kind of makes sense. But this is what I was going to say. Jesse Buckley, as we know, made a heinous mistake by saying she didn't like cats.

[C]

I love Jesse Buckley. I don't give a. I wouldn't care if she doesn't like dogs. That's how much I love her.

[B]

Paul Mesc were on their press tour for Hamnet, that book that we've been threatening to read, Vogue and it'll be embarrassing. Yes, I know, but that I, I have it here as well. It doesn't mean we've read it just because it's in our hands.

[C]

Well, I have bought Kathy Burke's autobiography that you told me to just arrived today. So I'm gonna, I'm gonna ease in with Kathy Burke and then I'll ham it.

[B]

If I were you, I'd audiobook Kathy's. It's better an audiobook.

[C]

I'll regift. I'll regift.

[B]

I'd, I'd audiobook it. I'd audiobook it. It's about, it's because I had the book and the, and I started the audio. I was like, oh my God, I should have done this in the start because she's, she's a brilliant narrator. But, but Jessie Buckley came out, she was doing Hamlet promos, said she didn't like cats. And of course all the, the catwoman of the Internet obviously nicked off. She hates cats. So now she's come out and she was on Jimmy Fallon. She's issued a public apology and statement and she's like, no, no, no, no, I, I, I would like cat. I'd say I'm a quarter cat. Three quarter dogs. Because they were asked in the Hamna promo Are they cat or dog people? And then she was like, I. I auditioned to be a cat once. She's really pulling it back.

[C]

I am cat. I am cat.

[B]

I love cats. Some of my best friends are cats.

[C]

She's just gonna start posting herself, licking her hand and stuff, like she's gonna go full cat.

[B]

She. She auditioned for Cats the musical, which she obviously says she didn't get, but sure, we know that. No more than me announcing I didn't get the job in Motherland. We know you didn't get it, John, or you'd be in it, but yeah, no, she's really, really rowing back. So some of her best friends are cats. She's very cat focused. Focused. And she auditioned to once be a cat, so she's hopefully now she's back in the running.

[C]

You were such a dog person that when I met up with you on before, she even gave me a hug. She took the lead off Mercy.

[A]

Yeah, I'll drive.

[B]

Yeah, yeah, yeah, I'll drive. And then I took a fog, went in to get a coffee and. And Birdie was like, direct. He was so upset that he was left with me, and he was kind of looking at. Kept looking for Bo to come out, and I thought it was really cute. So I. I posted a video of it to Instagram. I was like, oh, look, I'm waiting for Vogue in. And then a woman messaged me and she's like, joan, I'm pretty sure you've just posted Vogue's mobile number to your Instagram account. His name. And her mobile number is on the side with little harness. I was like, oh, yeah, 10,000 views. Uhoh.

[C]

I took it down.

[B]

I took it down almost. I. The second she said it, I only left it for another half an hour and then I said, no, no, no, have to come down.

[C]

Not trying to get some kudos, but I actually am a cat Love ever. And I have had many a cat. Sorry. My first cat was called Monkey. I had him when I was eight. Her. When I was eight. Monkey.

[B]

Well, I'm delighted that you know you're now back in the running for the Oscar, because you said that.

[C]

And I also am a big fan of opera and the ballet.

[B]

I have Pavlova's albums. I listen to them relentlessly. I'm listening to it right now, actually. I can't even hear you guys.

[C]

I saw this thing about Pettius exes and I just. It's. It's. This guy and his wife were fighting over custody of his beloved German shepherd that he brought to the marriage she fought and fought in court to get the dog. They ultimately had to split custody, but she got the dog first since he was settling into his new place. When it was his turn, he went to get the dog and she handed him a box. She had put the dog to stand, sleep and cremated it. That has stayed with me for over a decade.

[B]

Vogue, you know, this attempts to be a comedy podcast.

[C]

Okay, Joe, Joe, put this one up the top, maybe. Don't start with the dog. Don't start with the dog. Russian police went to arrest this guy at his birthday party. He was having a big birthday bash in St Petersburg and they went to arrest him because he hadn't done conscription. So he basically was avoiding it.

[B]

Oh, yeah, like, I mean, yeah, it's

[C]

ridiculous, but, yeah, like, yes, I. I would actually have to agree with him there. Anyway, Mia, they were all celebrating and then a load of officers arrived and then there's just this video online. So some of the officers are starting to arrest your man, but there's a video online of one of the officers just standing in the middle of the room while all this chaos is going on around him. And he has taken the guys, the birthday boys, headset, VR headset, and he's put it on and he's basically playing a VR headset game and just standing there while the rest of the police are doing their job. And he's there just borrowing the headset.

[B]

Yeah. So he's obviously someone who also doesn't want to be part of this institution, do you know what I mean?

[C]

Like the conscription.

[B]

This is why you need people who want to be in the realm, because otherwise that's what you get.

[C]

You know what I mean? It's. It's very. You see a headset in the ground, it's. It's half used. You're. It's. It's tough not to want to put that in your face. And it reminded me of when the police came to my house in Aberdeen. Remember, they gave us a lift home. Yeah, I told the story. Definitely I told the story. I was out in the piss in Aberdeen and we were absolutely deranged. We bumped into two police guys. They gave us a lift home. They're in their uniform. And then they came up to our house and, like, they stayed for an hour or so.

[B]

Well, I knew a policeman. He was a friend of a friend who's now in prison for drug dealing.

[C]

The policeman.

[B]

Is, Is that. Is that a good contribution? Contribution to that story? Yeah, he's doing hard talk time.

[C]

Yeah. See, you know, he must have really up to get caught. I mean, how you get caught from the inside. Come on.

[B]

I, I genuinely, if memory serves me correct, which it never does, I genuinely think he was selling drugs that he had taken off other people that. That maybe I'm wrong. Maybe I'm wrong of Joanne.

[C]

I. I had to do. When I was doing. I was doing a show on drugs and I basically went to this like G. About drugs.

[B]

I think is. You need to be clear.

[C]

I was doing drugs. Drugs.

[A]

I was on drugs.

[B]

I remember every action. So I was coming up. Yeah, I was coming up on camera. Yeah. Do you remember that?

[C]

It was, you know, it was back in the days of the head shops. We were actually trying to do like real drugs, but it turned into some. It turned into something about head shop drugs. But anyway, I had to go to this, like, Guardi headquarters and he was showing me around. They'd loads of drugs just in there. So they would test them to see how much of what is any. And I was like, which is the highest grade one? Pop it in the bag there. Yeah.

[B]

It's like, do I get a doggy bag? Can I. What's the crack?

[C]

Where's my party favorite?

[B]

Yeah, your party favorite? Yeah. I'd say if people knew what's in that. Like, I mean, it's like you always see.

[C]

Supposedly it's 9% cocaine and the rest

[B]

is like tires and glass and all sorts of like.

[C]

What's that stuff from the dentist that makes your teeth go numb? Yeah, Novocaine, all that?

[B]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[C]

Paracetamol.

[B]

And just like people have been trying. Escaped their own minds since time began. I'd say they were snorting lines off Stonehenge. Do you know what I mean? It is what it is. Drugs, obviously.

[C]

Well, how do you think they f. Who found out that heroin was in poppies? Isn't that where it is? Like, who was that person? I know we could talk about things like who first of all fried the egg? Like, how do they know to crack an egg and fry it and then eat it? But really, who found heroin and popping puppies and cocaine and cocoa plants? Who the was that person?

[B]

There's. You should Google this, folk. This is a good. This is a good Google hole for you to go down and then you can teach us about it.

[C]

I wonder if they won a Nobel Prize or. Probably not.

[B]

They probably went, no, it's no Nobel crack Prize.

[C]

No. Well, off your head prize jokes. You are the winner, obviously.

[B]

Jokes. I battled it on International Women's Day. The pressure got to me. The Pressure got to me. I was like, pressure got to me. I forgot it was International Women's Day. Woke up. Thank you folk. Thank you so much. It was a lovely, it was a lovely.

[C]

I was awaiting my post, but whatever suggested we were doing a post. And then I together see yours and

[B]

then I bottled it. I spent too long scrolling and people were like, it's not about you, it's about the politics. It's about moving females forward. It's not about your friends. I was like, oh my God, do I post my friends? Do I post my mother? Do I post? Post Michelle Obama? Who do I post? So I was paralyzed in fear and I posted nothing.

[C]

Well, do you know what? Last year was it last year, the year before, I didn't post you. And oh my God, people were like, have we fallen out? And then this year I forgot to post my best friend Ashley. So I quickly popped her up on stories. There's two.

[B]

Wow.

[C]

She got her own story frame. But I was like, I it. I forgot to put her in. You're like many people, my sister in law. I didn't put her up either. Jesus. Them. I'm sorry. Too much.

[B]

And then you're kind of scrolling through and then it just feels like it's getting very performative and then suddenly it's about brands being like, oh, 50 off for international Women's Day. And you're like, oh, this has just been hijacked now. This is not, this is supposed to be about like female politics and kind of moving the movement forward. And now, and then, and then when I was, I was actually giving out to someone about the fact the brands have hijacked it and I had to really check if anxious, preoccupied, a donut, any sort of.

[C]

I'm trying to think did Bear do it? That's in the past now. That's in the past. Pass now.

[B]

I was like, thank God. Yes. Do you ever get that in your head though? And you're just like, oh, this just feels really performative now and I just don't want to be involved anyway, I'm not a woman anymore. I've, I've lost my labia as a result. It's been taken away.

[C]

As you saw, my mother reposted you to her story and said I, Joanne, I think she thought you were Amber.

[B]

I think she did too.

[C]

Yeah, I think she did too. Thought it was Amber and so she reposted.

[B]

I was delighted to get the nod on Sandra story. So she reposted the post. Vogue did. But I'm obviously the first frame. So and of course, I messaged her. I said, sandra, this is so gas. And Sandra, as Sandra goes, I should be on the stage with you. I said, you should, Sandra. You absolutely should. That'll be gas. Actually, in the arena, just have Sandra come out and do one of her outfit of the days and then just, like, walk off into the wings.

[C]

She's. She's dragged poor Neil up. There's this place called. I'll take you in. Come to Spain. It's called La Canadada and it's about 45 minutes from. From where we stay. She drags Neil up there every Thursday. She's just told me she's on the way up. Neil doesn't like her suede trousers. She has them in the bag. She's not sure if she's gonna bring the bag. So she goes up, she spends two hours there. He sits and has a coffee. Just wait.

[B]

I don't know how he does it.

[C]

I think he enjoys it. It's his new life.

[B]

I did a shoot yesterday. Gorgeous hair and makeup up. Flew into Dublin after the shoots, late. And then I'm filming something again this morning. And the makeup was. When I say perfect. And the scar. A little. I fell asleep on the plane and the hair was a little. A little ruffled.

[C]

Were they real lashes or your lashes?

[B]

Ah, Jesus. How much Minoxidil do you think I'm taking? They're obviously fake.

[C]

They were very nice lashes.

[B]

Very nice.

[C]

I thought that. That's why I mailed you. I wasn't being shady. I said, you should get. You should get, like, fake lashes that stay in forever. You know, those ones.

[B]

Ones, they. I always think they look fake, though.

[C]

Kelly Brooke had someone in the jungle and she didn't look fake. Hers looked amazing.

[B]

Really.

[C]

You have to lie there for an hour, though, and you have to have your eyes closed. Yeah. And your eyes closed.

[B]

You'd have to put me under. I couldn't do it, but. But anyway, so I was like. I was like, what? Could I. Could I keep the makeup? Could you just. Like. I mean, what society says I have to clean my face. The patriarchy. Well, I just keep the makeup on and how bad will it be if I just. Just kind of sleep sitting up? And then I was talking about it and someone said, Miriam o', Callaghan, who I'm a huge fan of.

[C]

I love Miriam.

[B]

She's got five. Five. Five daughters. A few of them have come to the shows. And they're hyper. Yeah.

[C]

Hyper intelligent. Like, just really like a boss.

[B]

Yeah.

[C]

I don't even want to Call her a batch. A boss lady woman.

[B]

Yeah, yeah. Full of integrity. She. She wrote a memoir. Didn't slag anyone off. That'll tell you what a good person she is. I don't know how she got through the word count, to be honest. Honest I couldn't. But anyway, they were saying Miriam gets her makeup done on Tuesday for prime time. Her. Her eye makeup and keeps it on all week.

[C]

Now, I don't know if we should be spreading rumors about Miriam like that because I just don't think Miriam does that because I've seen her eyes and they're not red because I've kept my makeup on one night and my eyes were like red fire.

[B]

This is from the horse's mouth.

[C]

Miriam said that.

[B]

Miriam said this. So then I did a little shout out about for any sort of hair and make makeup tea on Insta. And there is that thing we've, we've again spoken about for dressing where people do get. I remember a makeup artist telling me before he had a woman come in on Friday, she was getting her hair makeup done for an event Saturday and she was hoping to get the Sunday out of it. A lot of people do it. They spray, they sit up straight. Because sometimes these professional makeup artists, they're so good at what they do. Now I find it kind of scratches my face a little bit after a while.

[C]

While I'd miss my skincare routine. One of my favorite things to do at night is to sit there with hairband on and do my whole little facial routine. And I, I'd miss. I like having. I like my face being clean.

[B]

Oh, well, I heard the other day that Niall Horan of One Direction fame and now obviously his own. His own fame has a 20 step skin care routine.

[C]

He great skin though. Look at his skin. It speaks for itself.

[B]

Now whether this is true or not, because I also heard someone messaged me last night saying Missy Elliott apparently has her makeup artist come in at night when she's sleeping and does her hair and makeup. Which then I had to ob you going, that is not. That's the. That's fake news. But apparently not. Horn has a 20 step skincare routine. I mean, what.

[C]

I can't. There's not really 20 steps you can be doing. Honestly, what would you be doing for 20 steps? I'd say like maximum. You just need a serum and moisturizer cleanser.

[B]

Katrina Ryan, who is our like Ireland's top dermatologist, said to me, less is more. Less is more. More. Don't be putting all this in your face. Like you said, keep it simple. Bit of serum but an S, bit of spf. Throw in your fake freckles and go. Anyway, if I do bump into not at any stage, I will be asking him to explain himself. He must go to bed at 4pm

[C]

Tell him I got my first dog in wool and gore. Okay. There you go. There's a bit of, you know, like, oh, look, we know the same people, we know the same people kind of thing.

[B]

That's a great icebreaker. Thanks. I'll write that down.

[C]

Okay.

[B]

Thank you so much.

[C]

It was a Doberman so you are welcome. Welcome for that. Everyone. Thank you for listening.

[B]

Second three arenas on sale. America. Check out the website. I'm kind of going all over the place. And New York, you're on the way. Okay, bye.

[C]

This has been a global player original production.