We need a break from each other...

Summary

Podcast Summary: "We Need a Break from Each Other..."

My Therapist Ghosted Me
Hosts: Joanne McNally & Vogue Williams
Release Date: June 27, 2025

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1. Navigating Personal Frustrations and Friendships

The episode kicks off with a candid discussion between Joanne and Vogue about their personal frustrations and the challenges of maintaining friendships. Joanne shares her exasperation with a friend who combines daily weed use with woodworking, leading her to question, "What's wrong with you?" (00:59). This segues into broader conversations about managing friendships that may be impacting their mental well-being.

2. Embracing DIY and Personal Empowerment

Vogue enthusiastically recounts her foray into DIY projects, highlighting the empowerment that comes from fixing things herself. She mentions, "I bought myself a sander... I'm a DIY expert now" (02:46), emphasizing the financial and personal benefits of taking control of household repairs.

3. Concert Experiences and Self-Perception

The hosts delve into their experiences attending concerts, particularly focusing on Vogue's recent trip to see Dua Lipa. Vogue reflects on her self-image during the concert, stating, "I felt so ugly looking at her" (07:30), and discusses the complexities of enjoying live performances while grappling with self-esteem.

4. Royal Ruminations and Morning Routines

A humorous yet insightful segment explores Princess Margaret's meticulously structured morning routine. Joanne muses, "That sounds glorious" (32:38), contrasting it with their own more relaxed and spontaneous daily habits. This discussion serves as a commentary on societal expectations versus personal lifestyles.

5. Living Abroad: Challenges in the Netherlands

Joanne shares her frustrations with the Dutch service culture, particularly the absence of tipping, leading to misunderstandings and impatience. She recounts an encounter in Lisbon where she struggled to get the bill, highlighting, "I have a touch of... impatience" (19:08). Vogue echoes these sentiments, comparing it to her experiences in Zanzibar, where slow service was a recurring theme.

6. Impatience and Mental Health Insights

The conversation naturally transitions into a discussion about impatience and its ties to mental health. Joanne admits, "I have to say I'm arriving back this evening, folks" (26:32), hinting at the toll that constant impatience can take on one's well-being, possibly hinting at ADHD tendencies.

7. The Impact of Sudden Wealth on Relationships

A thought-provoking segment examines the psychological effects of winning the lottery. Joanne shares insights from a lottery winner who felt his life was better before winning, noting, "Everyone you know thinks you've all won the lotto" (39:01). This sparks a dialogue about how sudden wealth can strain relationships and lead to unanticipated challenges.

8. Preparing for a Temporary Break

In line with the podcast's title, the hosts discuss taking a short hiatus. Joanne humorously threatens to investigate listener secrets, while Vogue reassures the audience of their return, saying, "We need a break from each other. It's only two weeks" (05:27). This light-hearted banter underscores the importance of taking breaks for personal and professional rejuvenation.

9. Closing Remarks and Future Plans

As the episode winds down, Joanne and Vogue touch on upcoming projects and tours. Joanne mentions her imminent departure after recording, and Vogue teases future content, including a deep dive into royal families. They wrap up with playful exchanges about their personal lives and hint at more detailed discussions in future episodes.

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Notable Quotes:

• Joanne McNally (00:59): "What's wrong with you?"
• Vogue Williams (02:46): "I bought myself a sander... I'm a DIY expert now."
• Vogue Williams (07:30): "I felt so ugly looking at her."
• Joanne McNally (32:38): "That sounds glorious."
• Joanne McNally (19:08): "I have a touch of... impatience."
• Joanne McNally (26:32): "I have to say I'm arriving back this evening, folks."
• Joanne McNally (39:01): "Everyone you know thinks you've all won the lotto."
• Vogue Williams (05:27): "We need a break from each other. It's only two weeks."

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Conclusion

"We Need a Break from Each Other..." offers listeners an unfiltered glimpse into the hosts' lives, blending humor with heartfelt discussions on friendship, personal growth, and the quirks of everyday experiences. Through relatable anecdotes and honest reflections, Joanne and Vogue create a space where listeners can find both laughter and solace, staying true to their promise of 100% honesty.

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For more insights and upcoming episodes, visit mytherapistghostedme.com. To get in touch, email [e-mail].

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Note: Timestamps reference moments in the transcript for easy navigation.

Transcript

[Joanne McNally]

This is a Global Player original podcast. Hello, welcome to. My therapist ghosted me. It's us again. Sorry. Me, Joanne McNally and my co host and conspirator, Bougie. This is a terrible start.

[Vogue Williams]

Terrible attack problems.

[Joanne McNally]

Can I just say, for. In my defense, there, there. You've. You've just watched what I have. That makes no sense. Sometimes the Internet just doesn't work. And I couldn't just w. Connect. I just had to double my ProAc drop for the day because I'm so worked up now. I'm now on 120mg of Proac and I'm still upset.

[Vogue Williams]

That's why I. Did you not notice? I just was looking down the whole time. I couldn't look you in the eye. I had to mute, like, leave her do it.

[Joanne McNally]

I had to mute you both as you're making small talk. And I was. I was going to punch myself in the face. I've never. What's wrong with me?

[Vogue Williams]

I Like, that's aggravating. That's why I couldn't look. Like when my headphones. When someone rings me and they go to my phone instead of my laptop when I'm recording, I want to shoot that person. Yeah, I'll bring. It's usually Amber. I'll bring her back. What's wrong with you? Why would you ring me?

[Joanne McNally]

So annoying. It's like when I ring my mother and she has me in her hearing aids and there's like. Like an echo and a delay and it's like you're zooming Abu Dhabi. Although, actually, I don't know why I said that, because I've seemed Abu Dhabi dab before and the connection was actually fantastic. Timbuktu. Isn't that kind of the general place we talk about when we say it's miles and miles away?

[Vogue Williams]

Anyway, yeah, we're here.

[Joanne McNally]

We're here.

[Vogue Williams]

And if we sound weird, it's because A, Joanne's headphones didn't connect. And B, people are working on the cladding of our building at the moment, so. But there's a bit of buzzing.

[Joe]

This tech setup is an absolute dream.

[Joanne McNally]

Joe. Joe. Okay, okay, Joe. Okay. We're all frustrated. And just to add to Vogue alphabetical listing of shitemares for today's podcast, my one of my boat buddies smokes weed every day and then saws wood. I don't know where the wood's going. I don't know what the wood is for. I don't know if he's just doing it because he's stone I don't know if he remembers doing it but he smokes a spliff on the roof of the barge and then starts using an electric saw. So that's. I can hear him getting his tools together. Also.

[Vogue Williams]

He.

[Joanne McNally]

I can smell the weed. And the song is about to commence. Just.

[Vogue Williams]

I have. I just bought myself. I've started buying myself tools. If you need anything fixed in your house. I'm about to fix the toilet seat downstairs. I bought myself a sander. I'm sanding my outdoor table. I did. I did not know how many pieces of sand paper stuff you needed to put back on. So I've only done one section of it. But I'm going to finish her today and she looks great and I've saved myself a fortune cuz I priced up getting a new top and it was very expensive. So I got myself a sander. So I'm a DIY expert now.

[Joanne McNally]

I love this for you. I. I've been really. I've been really meaning. We've spoken about it before on the podcast. Oh, here he goes. So I can just hear him going, Ask him what.

[Vogue Williams]

Ask him what kind of saw he has. Tell him to send me a link.

[Joanne McNally]

I'd say he'll be sending you his fingers at some stage because I don't know how the he's managed to keep them all on.

[Vogue Williams]

Like I don't know. I don't know how anyone smokes. So flips pre 8am I don't smoke them anyway. But like in London when I drop the kids to school, I'm like. And it's just like this massive cloud of weed. I'm like, that's not. You're not going to have a productive day now. You've ruined it. And it's not even 8 in the morning.

[Joanne McNally]

And I love. And I love anything that takes me out of my own skin for any amount of time. But even I. I draw the line on my 120mg of Prozac. Wouldn't engage in spliff in the morning. I'll tell you what, I actually I. I knew this about myself but I tend to kind of. I'm like a fly that keeps kind of banging into the electric thing that my mom kills them with. What's the other electric thing that our mothers have?

[Vogue Williams]

Your mom has one of them. We don't have one of them.

[Joanne McNally]

Yeah, like an electric fence that the. It's not a fence. It's just like a wall.

[Vogue Williams]

I know.

[Joanne McNally]

And they. And you can hear them frying themselves all day. In the summer.

[Vogue Williams]

Yeah.

[Joanne McNally]

This day sounds exactly like when I had my laser eye surgery and they blew off my ir.

[Vogue Williams]

I don't know if I'd be able to get that done.

[Joanne McNally]

Do you remember I told you. And I mean, I know we're allowed to repeat stories from time to time. Come on, we're four years in at this point. We don't live that much. Our lives aren't that interesting. Is that the cladding or is that my stoned carpenter?

[Vogue Williams]

That one's me. It's the clouds. Listeners, we're sorry. We're sorry.

[Joe]

This is practically you said about reminding people when it's the last one be.

[Vogue Williams]

Oh, let's throw in some more bad news.

[Joe]

It's the last one. Only a couple of weeks and they'll be back and it might not sound like this anymore.

[Joanne McNally]

Do you know what's so funny? It's like the body. They say the body. The body keeps the score. It's like the part I always find when we get to the end of a season, things do start to. Things do start to slowly fall apart for us. Do you agree?

[Joe]

I'm sorry, my bin men have just arrived. So that's what that sounds like.

[Vogue Williams]

Oh, the bin men are there too. Well, I told you this and you were disgusted when I said it. But I'm sorry. We all need a break from each other. The listeners need a break from us. We need a break from each other. It's only two weeks and we're all that. We'll come back sprightly folk.

[Joanne McNally]

Joe, do you find it in any way offensive that she keeps on with this narrative? How much she needs a break or is that just me?

[Joe]

Does hit it quite hard.

[Joanne McNally]

I want know I've hired a private detective to unearth my tackle TRS and I'm expecting to see your email. Okay.

[Vogue Williams]

Uhoh. Uhoh.

[Joanne McNally]

Joe, I wouldn't be totally surprised if your name pops up. Also, I've only got a couple of profiles. Helen McGonagall. What's your name? What's your. What's a tr rly name?

[Vogue Williams]

McGonagall. That's so random. Was that someone you went to school with?

[Joanne McNally]

No, I think. Isn't that not what your man Sebastian's name is? Isn't it Wasn't.

[Vogue Williams]

Oh, oh, that's who he was pretending to be. Of course. A woman. The bastard.

[Joanne McNally]

Yeah, of course. Remember we said we were like it's a man. I'm pretty sure his name was Helen McGonagall. I posted. I posted an accidental thirst trap. The Other day, I didn't see it.

[Vogue Williams]

Where?

[Joanne McNally]

On Insta. I didn't post it to this. I was. I was doing a little boat tour and I was wearing.

[Vogue Williams]

I missed the boat tour.

[Joanne McNally]

Oh, no, no, no. I'm. Don't worry, don't worry. I'm obviously grading my boat life.

[Vogue Williams]

Oh, my God. Okay. I was. I was literally waiting. How did I miss your stories? Yours always pop up for me. I must have been sick. It must have been at night time.

[Joanne McNally]

I'm a water wanker. I know. It's because you want to break from me. You've told me repeatedly for the last three weeks. I'm.

[Vogue Williams]

Oh, yeah, I've muted her now. She knows.

[Joanne McNally]

I wouldn't be at all surprised.

[Vogue Williams]

I, like, sometimes your stories pop up and I go into Instagram so much. I'm like, she might notice how quickly I look at her stories.

[Joanne McNally]

Well, I think the more you engage, don't they pop up more?

[Vogue Williams]

I decided to take tea to his first concert on Friday night.

[Joanne McNally]

Atdc. Where'd you like them?

[Vogue Williams]

Apology.

[Joanne McNally]

Yeah.

[Vogue Williams]

I can't even get Spencer a ticket for that. He's not going. I still hold. I'd hope that I might get another ticket for spam, but I don't think it's gonna happen. No, we went to Dua Lipa.

[Joanne McNally]

Oh, yes. Dua Lipa, who's never been heartbroken. We'll get to that.

[Vogue Williams]

Well, I can see why I sat there, right? And I. I wouldn't say, like, I'm not a massive Jul fan is what I would say, but my God, banger after banger. I knew all of her, all the words. She is unbelievable. But she came on and, you know, I was like, oh, God. You know when someone just is so gorgeous. I literally was sat there and I was like. I actually was about to stand up and dance and I was like. I was so. I felt so ugly looking at her. I was like, oh, my. And she's so sexy. And, you know the way, like, I'm just not sexy. And I was like, how did she learn that? I don't think she was like that at the start of her career. So I started going through all these things in my mind and then she's so pretty. I was like, I'll do it before and after on Julipa. What was Ju like? Du Lipa like before? And then I looked and I was like, God damn it. It was the same face. Same face. She hasn't done a thing now. The night I saw her, Jira Koai came on stage and Joanne. A light bulb went off on my head.

[Joanne McNally]

That was an interesting collab. I saw that floating around the Internet and I thought, remember him, Joanne and jk? That's something that we can't even joke about because he. It like, I would have a go now if I met him. But you see, these are the people that I. I can't say, because if he knows I've spoken about him, then that undermines my position as his future.

[Vogue Williams]

You haven't spoken about him. I have just suggested, as a matchmaker, that as soon as he came on stage, I thought to myself, joanne and jk, J and J. And I was thinking, wedding invitations, J and J. And I was thinking, I even got to this, to the seating plan at your wedding. Jay and Jake. It would just. It would just work.

[Joanne McNally]

Yeah.

[Vogue Williams]

Mainly because of the names and the dancing. He could do the dancing. You wouldn't do that. He's so cool as well.

[Joanne McNally]

He's very cool. Loves a hat. As do I. Do you remember him? And Denise Von out and did a very serious line.

[Vogue Williams]

Oh, my God.

[Joanne McNally]

Yeah, the Denise Van Iten.

[Vogue Williams]

Wasn't Denise fighting or was it Emma Bonton? Why do I think it was Emma Bonton?

[Joanne McNally]

No, definitely wasn't ever Bunton. She's gone out with that lad she's with since she's 12. Yeah.

[Vogue Williams]

God, I know so much about people. I don't know. It's just bizarre.

[Joanne McNally]

What's the fact? Check it there. Did he cheat in her? Did he cheat in her job?

[Vogue Williams]

He's loads of supercars, lows, a huge collection.

[Joanne McNally]

Is he still dying? And out like a Jamari Kwai. I mean, fantastic.

[Vogue Williams]

Unbelievable. No, his music's still savage. I'd go to a full Jamir choir concert.

[Joanne McNally]

I'm surprised he's. I would have thought he'd run out of money at this point.

[Joe]

They were together from 1998 to 2001.

[Joanne McNally]

What happened, Joe? Did he cheat in her?

[Joe]

The Mirror described it as a bitter split.

[Joanne McNally]

Oh, I've had one of them. Bitter split, yeah, yeah, yeah. I sensed it. I don't know why. You know, we need more celebrity friends. If we were in any way good at our job or in any way good at networking, we could just ring Denise now, live, and ask her. Or Jamaica.

[Vogue Williams]

I actually know Denise. I don't know her well, but probably not well enough to just text her and be like, hey, Denise, why did you do your quiet breakup?

[Joanne McNally]

You don't think she'd just go live on the pod and just tell us the Nitty Gritto, greeter The nitty Gritto. What? The nitty Gritto. What am I trying to say? Jeez, I've only had one.

[Vogue Williams]

And as well.

[Joanne McNally]

And the details, grishy detail, gritty details.

[Vogue Williams]

And also, Joanne, if you're planning on moving in on her ex, then that would just make it worse. And she. Now, now, even if she did like me to begin with, she won't like me now because she'll know what's gonna happen.

[Joanne McNally]

Glastonbury, I would say she wouldn't give a flying fandango. She's had enough.

[Vogue Williams]

Yeah.

[Joanne McNally]

Trouble with lads since then, she's not going to care about her ex. Going that far back, you stop caring. You do stop caring eventually about everyone, really, don't you?

[Vogue Williams]

Not only do you stop caring, you think, God, thank God it's not me. I remember looking at one of my ex's exes. So the ex before me and thinking, that lucky bitch, she literally escaped unscathed. But dua lipa. Two nights, Wembley Stadium. Have you noticed, guys? What amuso I am now? Am I a muso Joe? Is that what I am? Do I call myself that now? I wonder what gig I'll go to next.

[Joe]

Probably need to visit a few more jazz clubs.

[Vogue Williams]

No, Joe, I only. I only. I only go to arenas now. I only go see people in stadiums and arenas. I got home on Friday night, Saturday morning, I was up and I was doing squat racks. I was like, she didn't. You don't see Julie Pa. Lying around in bed. She's up there in the squat rack with that horse. Sorry, I didn't even speak about tea. I know T was there, but I had such a great time. But t. T. So I took him and he was, like, knackered because it's his bedtime. He goes to sleep at, like, 8 o' clock. He's asleep by. And so we went. And, like, I knew I was gonna have to le. So I did have to leave before the end. But I do that anyway. But this reason, this time, I actually had an excuse. But he came and, like, I was trying to get him up to dance, and he's just sitting there, like, mesmerized by her. And I was like, do you want to go home? And he's like, no, no. I think he loves Julie as much as I loved Julia.

[Joanne McNally]

Yeah, maybe that's. Maybe that he'll remember this. I remember my mother taking me to shows when I was a kid, and it's always stuck with me, you know?

[Vogue Williams]

What age did you remember?

[Joanne McNally]

Well, I remember she took Me to the Phantom of the Opera when I was like, way too young to be surprised. They let me in, I guess, because it's, it's Phantom of the Opera. But I remember, But I remember actually being so impressed by it. Shouldn't take me to music gigs now. It was more theater stuff. Phantom, the Opera. I remember I went to Le Miserable when it came to the 3Arena in Dublin.

[Vogue Williams]

Wow.

[Joanne McNally]

Yeah, it was huge. Remember, Imagine doing Miserable in an arena like crazy. God, where. What else? We went to Panto every year we went to.

[Vogue Williams]

I still go to the panto every year. I love it.

[Joanne McNally]

Love the Pontoise Panto. I love the Panto.

[Vogue Williams]

I'd go on my own. I wouldn't. I don't even need kids to go.

[Joanne McNally]

No, you don't. You know, one of the best musicals she took me to as well was all in the gay, I think. Blood Brothers. Do you remember this?

[Vogue Williams]

I saw Blood Brothers.

[Joanne McNally]

Brilliant, great, brilliant.

[Vogue Williams]

Do you remember they ran off the middle of the gy. Do you remember that? I remember that bit when they, they got off the stage and ran up the middle and I was like, oh, my God, what's going on?

[Joanne McNally]

You're like, oh, my God, this is so disruptive. What's happening?

[Vogue Williams]

Yeah, I loved that. No, I was going to take them to Wicked, but then somebody told me, Wicked's quite scary. It might be too much for Gigi. I want to know is, is, is, is a barge life still for you or you were you just a little holiday now you're finished with the barge?

[Joanne McNally]

Well, because I'm leaving today, actually, after we finish this record. So you know when you're just, you know when you know you're going. So you're just like, okay, I just want to go now.

[Vogue Williams]

You're barged out of it.

[Joanne McNally]

Yeah, I'm Bar David. I'm a bit, I'm a bit holiday dated, but I, I what? I do enjoy my own company. You'd want to, considering how much time I spend on my own. It would be nice. Like there was a. It was so Amsterdam turned 750 years old yesterday.

[Vogue Williams]

Yeah, I saw that.

[Joanne McNally]

So as part of that, there were all these like raves going on and everything. And I was like, God, I've had a Dutch friend here now, or even a, a foreign friend like me, I could go to that. But there's stuff you can't do on your own and go into a rave. I mean, it's a boundary. I just don't think I could rave on my own.

[Vogue Williams]

And I actually, strangely enough If I had a few drinks, I'd probably be able to. I get. I turn into a different person when I have a few drinks. I'm very brave. Not obviously, but I'd be hiding in the house before that.

[Joanne McNally]

There's certain things I'm very good at doing on my own, but going to a street party like that, I would feel a little self conscious.

[Vogue Williams]

I think the Dutch are inclusive. I actually watched a TV show, is his name Tim Rosenthal on Netflix something Rosenthal. And he goes around tasting food from loads of places and in Amsterdam. And I nearly told you to do it. And then I was like, no, I wouldn't do it. Just, she's not going to do it. And basically their delicacy is this. It's the whole fish. It's done in brine and they take off just the scales, but there's still skin on it. The whole fish and the tails left on and you just eat it like a seal. And then they put it in bread and put some onion and gherkin with it. I know.

[Joanne McNally]

No, I don't. I don't. With fish and bread together, I will engage in both of them.

[Vogue Williams]

Separate finger sandwich.

[Joanne McNally]

But I've never, ever. I can't. I won't put them. I'll put them together in my stomach. As in like post swallow. I will not put fish on bread. Very, very strongly about it.

[Vogue Williams]

A fish finger sandwich, though. Have you never had one of them?

[Joanne McNally]

Oh, my God, no, no, no, I have, I have. I tried it and be a toasted P. I wouldn't put it on fish and bread. It's a no for me. No, it's a no. Although I will engage in a P prawn with some toasted baguette.

[Vogue Williams]

Yeah, that's not the same. You won't have a fish. I love a fish finger sandwich with loads of mayo and ketchup.

[Joanne McNally]

Oh, not on the bread. One thing, I'll tell you one thing about the Dutch now. I. And bearing in mind I am one of them now, okay? Like, I am very much living, you know, part of the canal community, as we all know, blah, blah, blah. And this is what I realized. I. I spoke to a friend about this, the service, and I can only speak. I can. I'm not gonna wildly stereotype all Dutch hospitality people because a lot of the people working hospitality here are probably. They're not like, it's all. It's very English speaking. A lot of them probably aren't touched at all.

[Vogue Williams]

But yeah, the service.

[Joanne McNally]

And I am, I am Holland in my heart. Look I'm wearing an orange T shirt. I am Netherlands for life, etc. Service. And where it is, it's because there's no tipping, sis. There's no tipping culture. And that's what I realized. Because obviously, because I live in London and tipping is just. It's. And. And obviously, having spent time in the States where they basically will run you out of the country with a pitchfork if you don't 20 just in me now. I just. I tip and I. I think I'm a pretty good tipper. But it's only after you tip them, they're like, bye. You're like, oh, so you do look me in the eye, like, yeah. So bad. And I spoke about it with a friend of mine who lived in Amsterdam for a couple years, and she explained with the tipping thing, like, you go in to say you're an inconvenience down in the only place. It's the only one I've been. And then if you try and gesture them over or get their attention anyway. Oh, my God. Oh, my God.

[Vogue Williams]

Oh, no.

[Joanne McNally]

Ask their mother. Like, that's one way of getting them nowhere near you. It's wild. I couldn't live here because of that. I'm too impatient. It drives me mental.

[Vogue Williams]

Where's worse now? Because you've been here as well. Because I found Zanzibar. It was like. It was. Honestly, if you were gonna go for food, go for lunch, send somebody an hour and a half before to order the lunch, and then head up that way, and then you'll get your lunch in about half an hour after that. Zanzibar was the absolute snails pace, really. Yeah. Yeah.

[Joanne McNally]

I don't. You know what? It's. And it's not about the speed of stuff coming out. It's the. It's the. It's the disdain of the sir. It's just weird. I think service in the UK and Ireland is so that you get a bit spoiled. But. Yeah, like, really, like I told you with the guy in Lisbon and I asked him for the bill. Did I tell you about this? No, I was in Lisbon. And again, very slow service, blah, blah, blah. And I. I, you know, do have a touch of whatever we say. Whatever. I don't know. I find it very hard to wait for things or queue or anything that. Yeah, impatience, exactly.

[Vogue Williams]

Yeah.

[Joanne McNally]

Patience, which we now diagnose with adhd. But you're right. I'm just. But I have. But I'm like, I'm mentally ill. I'm not. I'm just really impat. I. Your mom Was really slow and it was all very. I was getting really frustrated and so I was still eating, but he passed the table and I just said to him, can I get the bill? Like, because I knew it was going to be, you know, he's going to roll off for about an hour. And he looked at me studying, he goes, you'll get the bill when you're finished eating. Yeah. What? And he actually put his hands up like that to me, but the listeners can't see. But I'm putting my hand up to vogue. And Joe's face said, you'll get the bill when you're finished eating. Yeah. And of course I then was like, no, no, I'll get the bill now in this ladder, like squaring up to each other in the restaurant, it was. It's just a different. It's just a different type of service. But when you're used to a different. When you're used to something else, it gets frustrating. But like, no one else around me was getting frustrated because they're just used to whatever way it works, wherever they live and wherever they eat regularly. If I was here for another two months, I probably wouldn't even notice the disdain.

[Vogue Williams]

I think, yeah, I think that you are right that we're very lucky in Ireland. But like, when I was away just in Ireland, I loved it. It was one of my favorite jobs I've ever had. Because you just had. Was happy buzzing around the restaurant. And I think that, like, you just get nice people then that come in because you're being helpful, you're being nice, you're having the chat. Yeah. You're being quick. Quick. Always quick.

[Joanne McNally]

Always quick. But I will also say I'm like, obviously now because I am a Dutch local, how they deal with the tourists, I do not know. Oh, my God. Is wrecked. I'm like, here they home again. Racking the town on a Saturday night. Coming in here now, ruining the place.

[Vogue Williams]

You've had a taste of what it's like to live in health at the weekend. Imagine how I feel every weekend. The traffic is unbearable. I can't leave the house.

[Joanne McNally]

I don't know how you do it, honestly, I don't know how you did. Like, I was walking around the red light district this morning, just finishing my shift. No.

[Vogue Williams]

Are they still open in the morning? Is anyone there in the morning?

[Joanne McNally]

No, no, no. But where I'm. Where my. Where my barge is, I kind of. Where I go for my eggs in my ameg, I go for my ams. And I have to walk through the Red light and the place was wrecked and I was like tourists coming in here on the weekend and wrecking the place. They've no respect for us. I think my time on the barge is coming to an end. I've. I've. I've lost a couple of things in the canal.

[Vogue Williams]

What? I'm surprised you still have your phone.

[Joanne McNally]

Well, I tell you, skin of my teeth. There aren't enough shower caps and sandwich bags in the world to keep my eyes. When I say by the skin of my teeth, like I dropped a bag of. In the canal. It was just like bottles of wine and crisps and stuff. Like.

[Vogue Williams]

You dropped your shopping in the canal?

[Joanne McNally]

Yes. Okay, fine. With my shopping. Yeah.

[Vogue Williams]

Did she get it out?

[Joanne McNally]

No, you can't. No, you can't get it. No, it's in there. Box of marble, light, bag of Cheetos, Ballopino dinner. My picky bits.

[Vogue Williams]

I didn't have you down as a Cheeto girl. What?

[Joanne McNally]

I love a Cheeto.

[Vogue Williams]

I love it. I'm a. What's it, Cheeto girl. You're really that girl. I'm surprised.

[Joanne McNally]

I love a Cheeto. And I. I'm. I'm. I'm a crisp lover. And I'm open to all types of crisps. Crisps. You know, I'm modern, I'm woke, I'm. I'm diverse. I'll eat anything.

[Vogue Williams]

I don't like a fancy, fancy crisp. Like, you know, those one Twirls. Diablo or Sensation. That's just me now.

[Joanne McNally]

That's. That's the Ferrero Rocher.

[Vogue Williams]

I love a sensation that's only a. Treat yourself for. Sensations are for the weekend.

[Joanne McNally]

If I finally get invited to Michael D. Higgins summer party, which I've been snubbed from over and over and over again. Michael D. Higgins is the president of. Our auntie has a summer party where he invites.

[Vogue Williams]

Sorry, I know he's. Summer party. What?

[Joanne McNally]

We're snob because we're trash. I like.

[Vogue Williams]

I liked not knowing. Yeah.

[Joanne McNally]

No, no, no. I've been keeping a close eye.

[Vogue Williams]

Pathetic losers.

[Joanne McNally]

And Angela, Scotland goes. And Laura Whitmore goes. I think Jennifer McGuire goes. They all go. We do not go. Folk.

[Vogue Williams]

I was gonna say it's because we're turncoats and we live in the uk. But those girls, I'm rotting them out. Two of them live in the uk. I'm ratting them out. I'm getting on to ours on Utron today. I was about to.

[Joanne McNally]

You try and get an English panel show when you're living in Ireland, but I Don' Why? I said that because I've never been on any show.

[Vogue Williams]

Mine's all dj.

[Joanne McNally]

I moved here and was still rejected again and again by English panel shows. Pricks.

[Vogue Williams]

We'll do a 20 minute set and I'll DJ.

[Joanne McNally]

We couldn't think about them. Worse than doing St. Michael J. Higgins's summer party.

[Vogue Williams]

We wouldn't get invited back again.

[Joanne McNally]

But when I said when I say when I. When I will go to that party and I will go by hook or by crook. I expect there to be some Sensation Crisps. That's the level of high end Chris that I believe Sensation crisps to be.

[Vogue Williams]

I would say. No, he's more of a. These are the ones I was talking about. The. The really fancy ones that are. That they're like truffle flavored. Have you seen them? I think they're called tauros or something like that. I haven't even. In fairness, I haven't even tasted them. But I refuse to taste them because they're just a bit too like. Or like. You know those ones that are so high end and they cost loads of money, but they're just ready salted. Ready salted is not a crisp. It's not a flavor. Salted is not a flavor.

[Joanne McNally]

You've lost me and Joe, you move in very different circles.

[Vogue Williams]

Well, in fairness now, Spenny's mom did bring a couple of bags over here, I have to be honest. But I still haven't tasted though, actually.

[Joanne McNally]

What am I saying? I'm going to be banned from Ireland. Michael Deacons will clearly have Tato Crisps, not Sensation Crisps. He's. You're not gonna have an English crisp on an Irish lawn. I apologize.

[Vogue Williams]

That would be extremely. They'll be full of Buffalo Hunky Dories in there. I'll bring the Buffalo Hunky Dories. I'll bring them.

[Joanne McNally]

And they say we're turncoats. Michael D. Hagan serving Sensations on the. On the lawn for a summer party.

[Vogue Williams]

It would actually be really. You'd be taking her back.

[Joanne McNally]

Turn in his grave. An index at the end of the book.

[Vogue Williams]

I used to always say Eamon de Valera would be turned in his grave if he knew about me because I'm after marrying an English person.

[Joanne McNally]

Eamon's turned by you long ago.

[Vogue Williams]

He rolled over quite often. Yeah.

[Joanne McNally]

He's flipping around there like a pig in a spit. Hello, Otto.

[Vogue Williams]

Who's that one?

[Joanne McNally]

Yes. I feel like I'm the Adam Sandler and he's the Drew Barrymore in 50 First Dates. I have to keep introducing myself to him every time I see him. Every time. I have to go through the whole rigor again.

[Vogue Williams]

When you left Clapham, I took the kids out for the best day of their little adult. No, not adult. I took the kids out for the best day of their childhood lives.

[Joanne McNally]

Were you just waiting for me to go? Were you in the window of your house?

[Vogue Williams]

Quick, let's go.

[Joanne McNally]

Quick, quick. Into the car.

[Vogue Williams]

Quick. Kids, let's keep moving. I don't know if she's going to come back.

[Joanne McNally]

Just clear.

[Vogue Williams]

She's left the barge. Quick, let's go.

[Joanne McNally]

Well, I just want you to know that I'm arriving back this evening, folks, so I expect this level of clap them hanging out when I'm back.

[Vogue Williams]

Sorry, I've just. It's so funny you say that, but I got something on in Battersea this weekend. It's really important weekend in Battersea. They've got a. They've got a fair grind up actually here. So.

[Joanne McNally]

After spending a week on my own in the barge, I'm upping all my friendship levels. So both of you be warned. I might even start doing.

[Vogue Williams]

Oh my God, just do. Do a surprise visit on me. I'd love that. Have you lost your keys? Now, you have to be honest, they're gone, aren't they? Are they gone?

[Joanne McNally]

Well, I mean, Jesus, walkies. We talk like there's a hold on yours. Do I have yours?

[Vogue Williams]

But you know, did you have an upstairs key or a downstairs key? Because we have to change. We had to change the lock downstairs.

[Joanne McNally]

Yeah, you changed the lock on me. Of course you changed the lock on me. So I do have these, but they don't access anything, which I think was the plan all along.

[Vogue Williams]

Anyway, there I went to Clapham, right. For any parents who live in London. Have you seen the splash park there? It's basically like it's talking. Well, because it's just really a visit visually obvious. So I just thought you might have actually gone to club running around the splash market.

[Joanne McNally]

You know, I had locations to all my Insta stories. Have you ever seen me tag myself in the Splash party?

[Vogue Williams]

It's about four minutes from your apartment.

[Joanne McNally]

What the. It's a splash park.

[Vogue Williams]

I took them there, right, Because I'm telling you, there's all these places in class. You have got the nicest pasta restaurant in Clapham, by the way. So we went there and then I took some skate park and then when I thought I was going to pass away because I was so tired from doing all this stuff, I took them home and they just. They broke me by the end of the day. I had to get into the bath at half three and ask Spencer to take them out for an hour. They just take, take, take.

[Joanne McNally]

Like I say, I'm. I'm. I'm touching on loneliness. I'm not gonna say I'm fully there, but another week in the barge I was touching on. If it was. If we were doing this pod this time next week, I'd probably offer to take the children to the splash park just for a bit of company. So thank God you tell me this story this week when I'm about to go back into human contact. So I'm not going to make any wild offers.

[Vogue Williams]

You're going tell them. I'm not.

[Joanne McNally]

Bring them back. Bring that little one back here. I want to speak to him directly and tell him Juan, who he doesn't remember ever, is not taking them to the splash park.

[Vogue Williams]

Princess Margaret of the UK royal family.

[Joanne McNally]

Yeah.

[Vogue Williams]

Who is not no longer with us.

[Joanne McNally]

Only one of the royal families. There are many. They're not ours. Carry on.

[Vogue Williams]

There are. There's one that I'm gonna do. I'm gonna do this next time. But there's one royal family that would be lovely to be a part of and this. The prince married this.

[Joanne McNally]

I know you're talking about Norway. I was there.

[Vogue Williams]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Joanne McNally]

Obviously my phone knew I was in Oslo and I'm a citizen of the world and feed me all this Oslo news. And the Norwegian prince married a reality TV star. Yes. And he is a knockout. Oh, she. And he said. And I was ball and crying. Of course I was. I was about to premenstrual over the tick tocks of him saying it's her or nobody. And then they played all that bad Warren. What's his face Music over the way they do anticipate.

[Vogue Williams]

Oh my God.

[Joanne McNally]

Emotional. And I was in tears. Anyway. Sorry.

[Vogue Williams]

That's what, that's what I was gonna do a deep dive on because I was like, what a lovely. What a lovely royal family. But it's so funny that you saw that as well because I was like, they're so sound and nice. Well, imagine that happened in Monaco.

[Joanne McNally]

Like, I don't think royals can be sent. I don't think there's. I don't think they can be sent. They're too. They're too out of the loop.

[Vogue Williams]

So. Princess. Okay, fine. Here you go. Here's probably who you would have been friends with this Royal Princess Margaret of Britain.

[Joanne McNally]

Yeah.

[Vogue Williams]

Here's her morning schedule. In 1955, she has breakfast in bed followed by two hours in bed listening to the radio, reading the newspapers which she invariably left scattered over the floor and chain smoking.

[Joanne McNally]

Oh my God, this is like my diary.

[Vogue Williams]

11:00Am she gets into a bath run for her by her ladies maid. Noon, an hour in the bath is followed by hair and makeup at her dressing table. Then she puts on clean clothes as one would imagine of a princess. She never wore any of her clothes more than once without having them cleaned.

[Joanne McNally]

Oh, that's where we differ.

[Vogue Williams]

Oh no, I, I do wash my clothes every day.

[Joanne McNally]

Every single outfit, every single day.

[Vogue Williams]

As I say that I wore this outfit to the gym yesterday and I'm wearing it to the gym again today. I will wear a gym gear twice unless I've been running. 12:30 she appears downstairs for a vodka pick me up.

[Joanne McNally]

Perfect. Yes.

[Vogue Williams]

One o' clock. She joins the Queen Mother. Joins the Queen Mother for a four course lunch served in an informal manner from silver dishes with half a bottle of wine per person plus fruit and a dozen different varieties of native and continental cheeses.

[Joe]

Yeah, this is living.

[Joanne McNally]

Okay, I take it back. I didn't think a royal could be sound. It sounds like me and this woman would be peas in a royal pod.

[Vogue Williams]

Did you never watch the Crown and then she was like the wild one.

[Joanne McNally]

I didn't watch the Crown. Sorry, I'm just changing Lauren's name on my phone to ladies mate so she knows to run me a bath soon as I.

[Vogue Williams]

At 8. At 8:30, please. There must be no stress in that woman's life. Well, she's obviously sorry. What?

[Joanne McNally]

Like it's tough to tell you if I was, if I was a British person paying tax. Hold on. I am paying tax. I'm fuming. I've just re. I've just done. My brain is just clocked. What's happening? I do pay tax in the uk. I'm raging.

[Vogue Williams]

She's long gone now so she would. She probably died before he started paying tax here, so it's okay.

[Joanne McNally]

Well I'm sure there's someone still in there nibbling those continental cheeses. We're folk I'm paying for.

[Vogue Williams]

But you know the way I used to do my morning routine and I'd be like up at 6, going to the gym after reading hers. You want to hear my ideal morning routine? And this is a real one. I would get up at 8, I'd stay in bed scrolling for an hour and have someone bring me coffee. The kids can come to say hi, then they have to go away. Then I want four, four Items off the Granger and Co breakfast menu. Have you been there?

[Joanne McNally]

No.

[Vogue Williams]

You need to have. So I want four items off the Granger and Co breakfast menu to pick at and someone has to eat my leftover so I don't feel bad. I am erasing hacks from my memory and I'm going to watch the whole thing throughout the day. That's my. That's my day. Is not the best day ever.

[Joanne McNally]

That sounds glorious.

[Vogue Williams]

I know. Have you never been to the grave?

[Joanne McNally]

I know Vogue. I know you in and out, upside down. I. I've seen into every orifice of your body and I know that this is. This. You wouldn't. You'd be secretly squatting under the sheets.

[Vogue Williams]

Well, here's. Here. I've. Listen. I've thought about that. So the day before this morning in bed, I'll have done a 10k which I never do. So I'll be so tired that I won't be able to exercise.

[Joanne McNally]

There you go.

[Vogue Williams]

So there you go. So then. Then it will work. Don't worry. I had considered that.

[Joanne McNally]

Yeah. Yeah. 60k steps the day before. I thought. I can't believe that. What was it? Was it. Who was the princess that you read? What was her name?

[Vogue Williams]

Margaret Prince. Princess Margaret. She was. You. You should see her in the crown. She was wild. She used to go to. Where's that place? Mustique. They all go to Mustique.

[Joanne McNally]

Maybe that's my problem. Maybe I was a royal in a past life and that's why I do the things I do. Maybe I'm Anastasia Romanoff. Do you remember from the. Remember, they never found Anastasia Romanoff. Do you remember the Romanovs? They were killed in the Russian Revolution. You do. You do. There was films about her. They killed all the Romanovs.

[Vogue Williams]

They did. The whole family. They killed.

[Joanne McNally]

They killed all the Romanovs. I think it was the Romanovs. And then they never found Anastasia's body. I think they actually have. Anyway, for years and years. Were always talking about where she was and had she gone off and escaped. But she hadn't. Of course she's dead. But I. That's the kind of lifestyle I liked. I'm trying to live at 12 nice dinners. Jesus. Now I'd be. I'd have a cheaper pallet. I'd be big into Baby Bell, Easy Singles and those I Brie.

[Vogue Williams]

Oh, John, you can't eat those lunchbox things. Honestly.

[Joanne McNally]

I'm like, bring me my morning cheesy string.

[Vogue Williams]

Do you remember the Philadelphia. You get the breadstick chickens in Philadelphia on one side and you'd just be dunking it. Remember that you still do them.

[Joanne McNally]

I remember going out. I went out with a man who was. A couple of my exes have been quite fitness focused and I remember him. I used to eat well. You know I'm a big fan of dairy dunkable.

[Vogue Williams]

Oh no.

[Joanne McNally]

And we. There was. I remember we had a big fight in the car once because he. We were on his way to his sisters to have dinner and I was eating a dairy dunk and he was kicking off but I was gonna r my appetite with that shite. I was like I just, I just love a bit of melted plastic. What can I say? I love a microplastic.

[Vogue Williams]

Oh God.

[Joanne McNally]

If I can dip it in a cracker.

[Vogue Williams]

No, not for me. I'll stick with the spany cheeses. We should do. We should do our hereditary. Is it. What's that thing called your DNA.

[Joanne McNally]

The problem is and I don't. I know you're going to think I'm insane although I think we probably passed that. We both think we're both. We're all insane. But I would be worried about putting my DNA into the world wide web because I read until my late night websites that I read that they're going to clone us and they're going to use your d. That you don't want the people to have your DNA. They could clone you. And even though I, I joke about wanting to be cloned I don't think it's safe for to give them your DNA.

[Vogue Williams]

I think that sounds a bit like a conspiracy theory. I think I would still like to do it just because I want to know where I feel like there is. I know like there's Spanish in me. I don't feel like I know.

[Joanne McNally]

I know what you're saying. You're like I'll let them clown me if I can find it. I have 3% Neanderthal in me just for the crack I got it. Can I just say Ireland is a lot of Irish people are of Viking descent. But having spent time in my new home. Well obviously not the Netherlands. In my previous new home which is the Scandi. Oslo. Oslo money. I'm struggling to understand who we came from. The same Vikings. I feel we were sent a lower caliber of Viking in some way. Maybe they.

[Vogue Williams]

We were sent the ones that were ousted.

[Joanne McNally]

Yeah kind of leper Vikings. There certainly doesn't seem to be a.

[Vogue Williams]

Lot of crossover like the leprosy island Vikings. The ones that just.

[Joanne McNally]

I was looking at these lads and women. I was like no, no, no, no no, we're not. We're not. We're not the same descent. Like what you'd want to see these people. It's insane.

[Vogue Williams]

I told you.

[Joanne McNally]

I'm sorry. It's not fair. Go on. To be very careful now because in the drilling and the head. No headphones. We can't speak over each other and. Oh, you're being very quiet. Oh, my God.

[Vogue Williams]

Who me?

[Joanne McNally]

I got this whole podcast myself because you have to abide by the rules. If I just have to wait, there's nothing you can do about it. Wait until I stop and I don't think I will. I think I'll keep going. Right out of breath. You're lucky. Go on. You're in the euro. Millions has been won in Ireland again.

[Vogue Williams]

Highest number.

[Joanne McNally]

No, it's not actually how much it. Oh, sorry. Dolores won 115 million.

[Vogue Williams]

This was something like 250 this time around.

[Joanne McNally]

Something mad in Cork, which is basically about like you just finding your purse. But for me this is huge cash.

[Vogue Williams]

Okay, we've seen your end of year statements. You can't say that anymore.

[Joanne McNally]

Well, well, well. How dare you suggest I recreate my entire comedic narrative. No, no, no, you're the rich one.

[Vogue Williams]

Okay, I'll take, I'll take.

[Joanne McNally]

I'd say he just scrolled past the story and went, oh, someone found their pocket change. Oh, someone hoovered their couch.

[Vogue Williams]

Oh, that's the money I dropped last.

[Joanne McNally]

Week is what I thought someone dyson the money down the back of their case. Good for them. Good, good for them. But for me, Vogue, this is huge cash. So I've been very invested. Now, I'd probably blow it all on AirPods, but I am fascinated to see. And I went down a little lotto hole, right? I couldn't have that amount of money. I would do something stupid. I'd end up giving it away to one of those Nigerian princes or something in a drunken rage.

[Vogue Williams]

Away to that pretend fradf. Yeah, it's gone. Yeah, it's gone.

[Joanne McNally]

Yeah, totally. I'd be like. So I'm. I seem to be doing a serious line with. He's actually a bit stuck for cash at the moment because he's in some legal battle with Suri and Katie Holmes. So I've lent him 200 million, but I feel. I think it's fine. He said he'd jump on a cage for me.

[Vogue Williams]

Be grand. Be grand.

[Joanne McNally]

But. So your one Dolores, you won 115 million. Do you know that on post. Had to put on extra staff because of the amount of letters she was Getting begging her for loans and stuff.

[Vogue Williams]

Stop.

[Joanne McNally]

Isn't that wild? And then I ended up going down another lotto hoe. And there was a man who won. I can't remember how much he won. Millions and millions. And he said, my life was better before. He said, if you win the lotto, everyone you know thinks you've all won the lotto. And he said, the amount of money that was given away. And he said, as soon as you pay someone's credit card bills. He was saying, I was paying friends bills, 50 grand credit card bills. And he said, and then. And you think that that's done and dusted and you've done your good deed, and then they come back again with the next bill. And he's like, it's a show. There's a lot. If you go down a lot. Oh, hell, there's a lot. A lot of stories that have. Not that they don't seem to.

[Vogue Williams]

Don't. Well, tell anybody. I wouldn't tell. I wouldn't even tell Spencer. No. All of a sudden you'd be like, how does V have an apartment in New York? I don't understand. I'd be like, no, I'm just writing, just renting it. I wouldn't tell a song.

[Joanne McNally]

Your two private jets flying side by side.

[Vogue Williams]

One with the luggage, one for.

[Joanne McNally]

Winston, just waving on it from the window of your own private chat. As he waves back from the window of his.

[Vogue Williams]

Absolutely do not. That's where they all went wrong.

[Joanne McNally]

She started paying for St. Bart's we're all really confused.

[Vogue Williams]

Don't worry. Spent. I'll get this. What? Sorry, I. I always get the food when we go out.

[Joanne McNally]

I don't even know she had a card. I've never seen her put a bang wild. And your name as your lotto would be like Cosmopolitan Williams. Like you wouldn't even Metro Williams.

[Vogue Williams]

I'd be living a happy life. Pay no one's credit card bills except my own.

[Joanne McNally]

Well, I'm dying to see who's won, but I think they're smart to keep it to themselves if they are planning on doing that, that they have to.

[Vogue Williams]

Honestly keep it to yourself. Denon Cork. Keep it to yourself.

[Joanne McNally]

And if you want to sponsor the podcast, get in touch. [e-mail] we would love.

[Vogue Williams]

And we're very quiet. We don't discuss anyone's secrets. Yes, for private people. Can you imagine?

[Joanne McNally]

I now I'm problematically private. I would say.

[Vogue Williams]

Yeah, I know it's back. It does get confusing at school even. I won't Give them my name. I'm like, sorry, guys, I am private. Yeah, please. Thank you. Thank you.

[Joanne McNally]

What's the opposite of Vogue? Stellar, Williams. Any other magazine. What is the magazine today? Woman's Way Williams. That's right.

[Vogue Williams]

Take a break, Williams. Thank you very much. Take a break, Williams. Horse and Hound Williams.

[Joanne McNally]

Horse and Hound, Williams. That's it. I can't wait to unearth her on Tattle. I am falling. I just start replying to Horse and Handwriting. I know it's you. Just contact me directly, please. We can have this out with hr. There's no need. There's no need for this.

[Vogue Williams]

No. Joanne, I'd like to go down my own private roots, thank you very much. Like, how dare you.

[Joanne McNally]

I'm gonna walk your door. And the profile photo is you and Winston. I'm like, I can clearly see you. Well, that's it from us from. That's it from me, Dr. McNally and Horse and Hound. William, to all our listeners, I'll see you on Tattle in half an hour to do a debrief of this episode. What does she even do?

[Vogue Williams]

What does she do? All. Everyone, thank you for listening. We are in a two week break and we will be back. We will be more sprightly than ever and we will have our sound fixed. Watch out, you're about to say something.

[Joe]

18Th of July, Friday the 18th of July. You'll be back for the bonus.

[Vogue Williams]

Sorry? You'll be back for the bonus. Oh, yeah. Oh, sorry. Yeah. We'll be back with the bonus on Wednesday.

[Joanne McNally]

Also, I'm on tour. Sure. Like, always important to remember that.

[Vogue Williams]

Always important.

[Joanne McNally]

There's weird new rules now about advertising. So I can't say where to get the tickets, but you know where they.

[Vogue Williams]

Are and you know you want to go.

[Joanne McNally]

You know you want to go. If you really thought about it and there's an extra Dubai on sale.

[Vogue Williams]

And also if you were just popping into a bookshop or going across my Instagram, that I have a book that's out, just saying, big mate, big math.

[Joanne McNally]

And it is just for if you needed that verified. It's huge.

[Vogue Williams]

It is big.