We NEED to talk about Nigeria's goalkeeper...

Summary

My Therapist Ghosted Me — Episode Summary

Podcast: My Therapist Ghosted Me
Episode: We NEED to talk about Nigeria's goalkeeper...
Hosts: Vogue Williams & Joanne McNally
Date: June 26, 2026

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Episode Overview

In this lively and irreverent episode, Vogue and Joanne dive into everything from body hair taboos and beauty gadgets to summer heat, viral footballers, and parenting in the era of screens. True to their style, the episode crackles with candid confessions, stream-of-consciousness banter, and plenty of self-deprecating humor, anchored around their signature "100% honesty guaranteed." The main event is Joanne’s obsession with the Nigerian football team’s goalkeeper—which launches a spirited discussion into crushes, viral athletes, and what’s “fair” in the genetic lottery.

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Key Discussions & Insights

Beauty Standards and Body Hair (00:04–06:36)

• The trio commiserate about the UK’s heatwave and the tyranny of summer sweat, especially in all the worst places.
• Vogue shares her new "dermaplaning" (face shaving) routine, revealing the satisfaction of removing facial fuzz and her discovery of whiskers courtesy of a lighted magnifying mirror.
• Joanne recounts being told to "shave your face, will you?" by a frank makeup artist—sparking a discussion about the generational shame and shifting attitudes about women’s body hair.
• They touch on the resurgence of “the bush” and whether standards are relaxing, but lament how much women are still brainwashed.
• Notable Quote:
  • Jo: “You have to accept you are an animal. We are animals.” (01:54)

Wellness Gadgets & Anti-Aging Anxieties (04:02–06:30)

• Vogue experiments with an electric hair-growth helmet and muses on wellness fads like vibration plates, while Joanne shares her fascination with Alzheimer’s research, including psychedelics and puzzle games to stave off dementia.
• Notable Quote:
  • Jo: “Playing this game for an hour a day reduces your chance of getting dementia by 25%.” (06:30)

Domestic Joys in Middle Age: The Pleasure of Laundry (07:24–10:15)

• Joanne enthusiastically details her newfound obsession: drying laundry outside, extolling the satisfaction and scent of sun-dried sheets and reflecting on how such mundane pleasures signal a new stage in life.
• Notable Quote:
  • Jo: “The sheets were dry in seven to 10 minutes. I was flying. This is living.” (08:50)

Greek Travels, Cat Culture, and Family Pet Drama (10:59–13:11)

• Vogue raves about visiting Greece and her affection for the Greek people and their love of cats—leading to social media controversy when she expresses desire for a pet cat.
• She reads her mother’s alarmist reaction about cats and rabies and the generational divide in pet attitudes.

Women, Football, and The Case of Nigeria’s Goalkeeper (13:30–20:25)

• Joanne boldly asserts: “Women don’t really care about football. Across the board.” (13:44)
  • Emily, their video producer, is called for her take; Vogue jokes about only caring because she fancied Eric Cantona.
  • The hosts declare their collective indifference to the World Cup before Joanne launches her “hot take” of the week: her online obsession with Nigeria’s (now-viral) goalkeeper, Maduka Okoye.
• There’s much live googling and breathless admiration:
  • Jo: “His face is so symmetrical you could use it as a spirit level to build a house.” (16:03)
  • Vogue: “He looks like he’d ruin your life.” (13:04, repeated at 19:25)
• The group speculates about his romantic entanglements, social media popularity, and appeal, veering into jokes about being happy to share ("polyamory, canapés included"), and riff on the injustice of some people getting all the looks.
• Notable/Memorable Moments:
  • Jo: “He’s like he’s made of marble. We’re made of marshmallow.” (16:33)
  • “Sometimes you feel like you were rushed, like God wanted to go for a smoke break, and then there was this guy, God had just had a great night’s sleep.” (16:52)
• The episode’s title is a reference to this animated discussion.

Celebrity Crushes & Relationship Dynamics (20:46–24:33)

• Shift to celebrity crushes: Vogue admits a sustained obsession with Bad Bunny—so much so that even her husband, Spencer, jokes about it.
• Vogue contrasts her comfort with admiring other people openly versus Spencer’s apparent lack of celebrity crushes (“He doesn't get into people like I get into them.”).
• The pair agree on the merit of noticing attractive people even while in relationships, sharing stories of people on holiday obsessively taking selfies and missing out on real life.

Parenting, Screen Time, and Social Media Bans (24:33–29:42)

• Both hosts discuss the perils of screen time for kids:
  • Joanne confesses to being hooked on her phone and mulls over social media age bans and potential impacts.
  • Vogue shares her household policy of only allowing iPad access during travel, describing improved behavior and more play when screen time is limited.
  • They express concern over online safety for children, particularly via games like Roblox and YouTube, and laud schools banning smartphones.
  • Notable Quote:
    • Joanna: “But like we found at home like their behavior was getting so bad. Theodore stopped playing with toys.” (25:52)

Technology, Tracking, and Parental Paranoia (29:42–30:54)

• Amusing digression into parenting technologies: from Apple watches for kids to GPS-tracking via AirTags.
• Joanne, tongue-in-cheek, recommends microchipping children ("I'd stitch one into them"), joking about modern child safety anxieties.

Pop Culture & De-influencing: TV and Movie Reviews (31:00–33:21)

• Vogue and Joanne swap notes on recent TV and film let-downs:
  • Disappointed by "I Will Find You" and the latest Jennifer Lopez film, theorizing about celebrity career choices and tour cancellations amidst economic downturns.

Upcoming Events: Concerts, Tennis, and Dress Codes (33:45–37:37)

• Excitement for upcoming entertainment (Harry Styles concert, Wimbledon) and the logistical and sartorial planning involved.
• Joanne details her plan to "dress like a slag" (wear a short skirt), defying her mother’s conservative advice.
• Notable:
  • Jo: “We’ll go as sporty slags, that’s the dress code.” (37:34)

Tabloid Gossip and Assets in Relationships (37:42–39:32)

• Discuss Olivia Wilde’s “Call Her Daddy” interview about Harry Styles and the drama of partner envy.
• Vogue owns up to “corrections corner” after realizing she would in fact object ("be absolutely institutionalized") if Spencer started dating someone like Margot Robbie.
• The segment highlights the humor and self-awareness that underpins their confessions.

World Cup, Fandom, and Drinking Towns Dry (39:36–41:10)

• Celebratory shout-out to Scottish football fans for “drinking Boston dry” during the World Cup festivities, and a riff on towns they’d love to visit and try to “drink dry” themselves.
• Joanne reads a tongue-in-cheek threat/list of candidate towns ("Swansea, the Vatican...").

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Memorable Quotes & Moments

On Beauty Pressures:

• Jo: “People don’t like women with hair, Jo. It’s very, very controversial.” (03:05)

On The Nigerian Goalkeeper:

• Jo: “His face is so symmetrical you could use it as a spirit level to build a house.” (16:03)
• Vogue: “He looks like he’d ruin your life.” (13:04, 19:25)
• Jo: “We’d be cute enough to have our life ruined by him, but I don’t care.” (19:29)

On Social Media & Screen Time:

• Joanna: “We took their iPads away about, I’m gonna say, two years ago now. So they’re only allowed to have them when they travel. And when we travel, there is like pure silence. You don’t hear a single word from them...” (25:35)

On Relationships & Crushes:

• Jo: “If I could crack into my boyfriend’s wank bank and empty it all and turn him into a vegetable, I would.” (22:05)
• Joanna: “If I see a hot girl on the beach or something, I’m like, do you think she’s such a ride?” (22:24)

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Timestamps for Key Segments

• 00:04—06:36 : Summer heat, sweat, and face shaving
• 06:36—07:53 : Gadgets, Alzheimer’s, cognitive games
• 07:53—10:15 : Laundry joy, aging, and outdoor living
• 10:59—13:11 : Greece, cats, and generational pet drama
• 13:30—20:25 : Women & football, Nigerian goalkeeper crush
• 20:46—24:33 : Celebrity crushes, relationships, holiday observations
• 24:33—29:42 : Parenting, iPads, social media bans
• 29:42—30:54 : GPS tracking kids & parental paranoia
• 31:00—33:21 : Pop culture de-influencing (TV, JLo)
• 33:45—37:37 : Concerts, tennis plans, "sporty slags" dress code
• 37:42—39:36 : Olivia Wilde/Styles gossip, jealousy, corrections corner
• 39:36—41:10 : Scottish fans, “drinking towns dry” wish list

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Tone & Style

The episode retains the hosts’ inimitable blend of dry wit, affectionate ribbing, and unfiltered takes, marked by honest confessions and gleeful over-sharing. The banter constantly pivots from cultural commentary to personal anecdotes, always circling back to celebrate the everyday absurdities and insecurities of modern womanhood.

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Summary by [Your Assistant] — For those who missed it: expect laughs, confessions, and plenty of hot takes—most notably, the joy (and peril) of falling for a viral footballer named Madu.

Transcript

[Joanna]

This is a global production.

[Jo]

He looks like he'd ruined your life.

[Joanna]

I'd be happy from Drew.

[Jo]

That's the thing. But that's the problem with us. But it might be a slow burn.

[Joanna]

No, well, it's not a slow burn cuz I watched the whole thing.

[Jo]

Fine. Just doesn't burn. How many Greek people did you meet?

[Joanna]

Loads. I was in Greece. Hello and welcome. Look, you're on three cameras.

[Jo]

Two cameras, one fan.

[Emily]

Sorry.

[Jo]

Now, I know, I know this is not ideal, but anyone living in, in and around the London area will know that it is violently hot.

[Joanna]

And it's sweat under the tit.

[Emily]

Hot.

[Jo]

It's. Even though sweating. And Vogue hasn't done that before?

[Joanna]

No, it's the first time for me. But there is sweat under the tit. Is. That's where, that's where I sweat. And above the tash.

[Jo]

Mine. It's just constant. It's just a const. I don't like mustache sweat. Mustache. I don't. Whatever. I don't care anymore. Who cares? I have to live my life.

[Joanna]

I did my dermaplaning as well last night. I did my shaving last night.

[Jo]

Call it what it is.

[Joanna]

You might have noticed with all the cuts.

[Jo]

Actually, didn't I wish you'd come in with all the tissue paper like our dads did. Remember? They go to work with like bits of bloody tissue paper stuck all over their faces. It was the 80s. No one cared.

[Joanna]

I bought this. I bought this magnifying mirror with a light on it. So. So I was like, I. When I say now, unless Fanny didn't see them, but I just don't imagine it's true. I had actual whiskers.

[Jo]

Did you?

[Joanna]

On my tash?

[Jo]

Yeah. How'd you have whiskers on her tash?

[Joanna]

Well, it was just like.

[Jo]

Is this because you're pregnant?

[Joanna]

No, but it was also the mole. So like hair is like come out of. Yeah, yeah. And I, I, I, I turned on the magnifying mirror and I was like. And then I was like, how do I suspend that? He didn't mention it.

[Jo]

You have. You have to accept you are an animal. You. We were animals. We're animals.

[Joanna]

I had a real good go at myself last night.

[Jo]

Yeah, good for you.

[Joanna]

And I was like going around. I was like, I wonder if the difference.

[Jo]

We're creatures. I remember Sue Brophy once basically saying to me, like. She was like. I don't know how to say this diplomatically. Shave your face, will you? She's like, you've got this fuzz. And because she's doing makeup, she's like very hard. Drives her mad because she's putting, she's patting on this makeup. It's about 6 inches out from your actual face.

[Joanna]

I know there's a couple of people. I know you're not one of them. Don't worry.

[Jo]

Thank you.

[Joanna]

And I, I didn't notice the whiskers. Noticed one of these people and he was like, why, why has she got hair all over her face? I was like, I don't know, I'd

[Jo]

never have that because she's an animal. There was a video going around tick tock recently and I don't know, she was a beauty influencer or something and she was doing some look but she clearly, whatever the way the light was, it almost looked like she was kind of rage baiting because she did have a significant. Just like it's fuzz. Really like fuzz.

[Joanna]

It's like a fuzz and it's so nice when it comes off, but like very satisfying. It's caused a deep sweat on my face and I. That's why if anyone see and notices cuts all over my face, it's. I've done that to myself.

[Jo]

People don't like women with hair, Joe. It's very, very controversial.

[Emily]

They're a toxic generation in that regard.

[Jo]

Well, I think it's getting better now because the bush is back, apparently. But if our generation was the worst.

[Joanna]

I don't.

[Jo]

A single body hair in a woman. It was. You're just. Yeah, because you've been brainwashed.

[Joanna]

I know, but I like the feeling of not having like. I'd hate to be a man and have to shake. Well, shave my face. It's different with peach fuzz.

[Jo]

Yeah.

[Joanna]

Imagine having the thick hair like Joe has to have. Like I'd hate.

[Jo]

Yeah, I know my face. I know. So all over your back, Joe. Do you have it on your back?

[Emily]

I do not. And I resist.

[Jo]

Did you get it?

[Emily]

Even mentioning that it would be possible.

[Jo]

Have you had your back waxed?

[Emily]

I have not. No, I, I am.

[Joanna]

He's not that hairy. Just on his head.

[Jo]

Well, you've got a load of hair in your head.

[Emily]

Yeah, well, that's where all of it is.

[Joanna]

I got one of those current body. Have you seen them that everyone wears?

[Jo]

No. The electric helmet thing.

[Joanna]

The helmet. I got the helmet.

[Jo]

But what do they do?

[Joanna]

It promotes hair growth.

[Jo]

No wonder you're shaving your face.

[Joanna]

No, it goes on your head, on your crown. I want to have more hair. Like I always have stenos and stuff.

[Jo]

Does it Work, though. Does it work?

[Joanna]

It will. It will. I. I think red light therapy works. Like, even the little bits in the mask, like that shark mask.

[Jo]

Yeah.

[Joanna]

I still use that all the time. And I think that although it's not as strong as what you get in a, like, beauty place, it's. I. I do think that they still work. They have their place in my home. But I'm about to do the helmet and then when I'm not pregnant, I'm going to buy one of the vibration plates because I feel like I've missed out on this wellness.

[Jo]

So the vibration plates. Now, obviously, as someone who's. I'm on the talk for the sake of the podcast because I know neither of you are arsed with the talk.

[Joanna]

What did I ask you to deep dive you didn't do at the crash or you would have forgotten.

[Jo]

Forgot. Yeah.

[Joanna]

Yeah. Okay. You can do that for next week.

[Jo]

Do you know that there's a woman who they get. She's Alzheimer's. Now, I'm. I'm, as you know, very interested in Alzheimer's because I'm.

[Joanna]

Did you work in an Alzheimer's home?

[Jo]

I worked in an Alzheimer's house. I did.

[Joanna]

Was that after Pure?

[Jo]

That was before Pure. Yeah. Before I was a publicist. And anyway. And I'm almost also convinced I'm gonna get it. And like, it's a. It's, you know, it's.

[Joanna]

Pull all your teeth out.

[Jo]

It's all. It's the.

[Joanna]

It looks like just the touch wood.

[Jo]

Anyway. There was a woman that they've given. She has. Alar. She hasn't spoken in years. They gave her psychedelics. She's now forming sentences and, like, looking into people's eyes. Yeah.

[Joanna]

So what you're saying is we should all do drugs?

[Jo]

Kind of.

[Emily]

Definitely not saying.

[Jo]

Not saying that. But I'm saying I always keep an eye on what they're doing to help cure Alzheimer's or stop it even happening, because I'm. I'm convinced I'm going to get.

[Joanna]

There are a couple of. Yeah, but I think that because it's like, it's one of the worst things that on the ALS or the.

[Jo]

I know those.

[Joanna]

So that it makes you focus on thinking that you're going to get those things. But lots of people think it's something to do with your teeth as well. So people get their teeth changed, but actually they're making such advances in that they are. I think that when we get old, I mean, I think that the same. Are very faceless and, like, they'll Just give us one and we won't have to go into the knife. But it's the same with Alzheimer's.

[Jo]

I'm like, they won't be there. I agree. I think they're. And there's another thing. They're saying there's some game they've invented and they have to play it for an hour a day. But it Would you go? No, it's not to do go. I have to find out what the game is. I mean, I'm hoping it's just Go Fish. I'm hoping it's something really low level.

[Joanna]

What about Tetris? Tetris. The games like that are really good.

[Jo]

Yeah.

[Joanna]

To use your like mind properly.

[Jo]

But they were saying that playing this game for an hour a day reduces your chance of getting dementia by 25%

[Joanna]

an hour a day.

[Jo]

It's intense and apparently the game is intense.

[Joanna]

But like, so you've got that. But then like, if you want to reduce your risk of heart disease and all that kind of stuff, then you have to be in the sauna now. I do love saunas. I miss saunas. I, I.

[Jo]

Did anyone hear that?

[Joanna]

Give me a fight. Did anyone hear the thunder and lightning last night? I honestly nearly had to wake up Spenny. I was so frightened.

[Jo]

No, I didn't hear it at all.

[Joanna]

Oh, it wasn't it mad.

[Emily]

It was like a disco.

[Joanna]

It was crazy. Yeah, I was really scared. I was like, will I wake up Span? I was like, that's pathetic. And then I was like, I better go down and get Bertie, he'll be scared.

[Jo]

Oh, I did take one of those blue American things.

[Joanna]

What are they called? I miss them Unisoms. Oh, poor Span couldn't sleep the other

[Emily]

day and I'm so a medical professional.

[Jo]

No, they're, they're, they're over the counter in America.

[Emily]

Still consult a medical professional.

[Jo]

Sorry. Speaking of, you've reminded me so I am obviously middle aged now, whatevs. Leaning in, blah, blah, blah. I've, I've got a new garden, I'm buzzing, etc.

[Joanna]

Oh, if you're going to talk about my favorite content you've ever done, please go right ahead.

[Jo]

Yeah, I need. Appreciate this.

[Joanna]

We are like, she's reached that era.

[Jo]

I've hit my. There's great drawing in the weather era. I went out, so I did, I did a casual.

[Emily]

What?

[Jo]

I did a casual sheet wash and I hung it in the garden.

[Joanna]

Was it a quick wash?

[Jo]

No, no, I did it. I did a 2 hour 30. But I mean I wasn't I wasn't expecting anything from. I wasn't the experience. Yeah, I was just putting on a wash because I need to put on a wash. Was Monday morning. I said, Jesus, very organized now, putting on a wash. Put the bed sheets out. It was absolutely boiling day. The sheets were dry in seven to 10 minutes. I went, I go again, get the towels. Goddamn. I got the tails. At one point I was going to go to the neighbors. I did four washes. I. I was like, this is the only reason I joined the neighborhood. WhatsApp group is like, does anyone have anything I can wash? I was flying. It was such a thrill. I was like, usually on a Monday morning I would have been climbing out of some lads cat flap with my eyelashes on my chin, doing the walk of shame. Now here I am driving washes, goofing off on, hanging out the bed sheets. I was like, I'm not going to. I was like, I want to run an Airbnb. I want to just want sheets all the time and dry them and fold them and put them away and it's so satisfying.

[Joanna]

It's a conversation I have with my mother every year in Spain. But even when I was in Mykonos at Spain, I was like, look at them. I bet you they just. Their washing is probably dried in about 10 minutes. And I was like, oh my God, I should not be talking about people's washing and Mykonos. It's a party island, for God's sake. And then I saw your. Your content and I was like, yeah, she's in on it.

[Jo]

I'm in on it now.

[Joanna]

She doesn't have to use the dryer for the sheets.

[Jo]

It was so satisf. I was like, this is living and, and, and the sense of achievement. The smell is different and I think. I don't know what happens. You hit 40 and going outside, it's. There's some sort of photosynthesis happening when you're taking in your washing. I was like, it's just lovely to be. It was, it was great.

[Joanna]

Have you been picnicking out there? It was picnic.

[Jo]

Stunning.

[Joanna]

You should have your dinners out there. We'll do picky bit dinners just sitting out there.

[Jo]

Oh, no, I'm out there all but I'm kind of pacing. I don't really know what I do out there. I do laps of it a lot. But then of course I left really cocky. And I was going to a event last night. Louise o' Neill's new memoir is coming out called A Bigger Life. So she was having like a little dinner.

[Joanna]

Yeah.

[Jo]

And so I said, I'll leave the washing. I got cocky. I got cocky. I left the washing out. Came out of the event, it had been lashing rain. I squealed in a way. People were looking at me. I looked like I'd left my baby on the roof of a car. I was like, I was like, no, of course. It came in so soaking. I was like, you know what you want doesn't matter cuz it means you get to dry it again.

[Joanna]

This. Another day, another day for you. Did you put it back in the wash though? I'd put it back in the wash. You have to put it back in the wash. I, I kind of would put it back in the wash. Especially being in London, like if you're in H, like with nice sea air, it's different to like this. Your sheets are probably black now from the pollution in the air here.

[Jo]

I think I have a mouse in the house. I, I, I think there's so. And I was like, you know what, I don't care enough to do anything about it, but that sounds like there's a person in the walls.

[Joanna]

That doesn't sound like a mace. That sounds like bigger.

[Jo]

It does, doesn't it? Is there someone in the walls?

[Joanna]

Oh my God. You can get a cat. Get a cat.

[Jo]

You know, I have no interest in them.

[Joanna]

You wouldn't get a cash.

[Jo]

No, no.

[Joanna]

I since been in Mykonos and there's cats. Greek people love cats. I love Greek people, by the way.

[Jo]

Okay, sounds, yeah.

[Joanna]

And I, my doctor's Greek and I always liked her. She's delivered all the kids and I'm like, I like her because there's no, like, she's not patting me or being like, oh, yeah, all right. She's just like, just get on with it.

[Jo]

Just asking me the end.

[Joanna]

Yeah. And that's what I like. And then it turns out all Greek people are like that. I just really liked them.

[Jo]

Okay. How many Greek people did you meet?

[Joanna]

Loads. I was in Greece. But all of them.

[Jo]

Yeah, all of them.

[Joanna]

I was like, I love these Greek.

[Jo]

You're doing your party's day parade, just driving around in the roof cars, waving of people at times.

[Joanna]

Hello, hello, Greece. There was only one fella that I wasn't mad about because he just couldn't understand where we're going. And like he said he knew where we were going and he didn't. But it turns out he wasn't Greek.

[Jo]

Oh, Grant.

[Joanna]

So fine. But yeah, Greek people are mad for cats. So they have all these like, are

[Jo]

they mad for cats or they just have loads and loads of cats.

[Joanna]

They have, like, little cat huts and, like, little cat bunk beds, and they have, like. They leave food.

[Jo]

Yeah, Cat bunk beds. Now that's fun.

[Joanna]

Well, I, I, I posted my most controversial story yet in Greece, and it was just a. Of a cat.

[Emily]

What?

[Joanna]

Well, I'm still getting pictures. What was it?

[Jo]

What was the caption?

[Joanna]

Nothing. I just said, I really want to get a cat, and I do want to get a cat. I've had cats before in my life.

[Jo]

Of all the things we've said, I didn't. I wouldn't have thought that that would be.

[Joanna]

Well, people are. We're up. So half the people adored cats. The other half hate cats. Look at my mom text me about the cash. I was like, jesus Christ, Sandra. We had cats. My mom said, v, if that cat bites you or scrapes you, get a rabies injection pronto. And I said, mom, you don't like cats. E. And then I said, God, how many did we go through when we were little? But we did live beside a main road.

[Jo]

But she's. Oh, yeah, of course.

[Joanna]

Then she. Then she goes, no, they sit on worktops and lick their privates and leave Yuck there. And it gets into the food. Yuck. I won't be eating in your house anymore if you get one.

[Jo]

Wow, Sandra, that's what.

[Joanna]

So many people were like that about the cats. I was like, oh, my God, relax. You don't have to have. I'm not asking you to get a cat. I want a cat.

[Jo]

Yeah, I mean, I know you said

[Joanna]

you were having the fan, like, more

[Jo]

based on you, but I'm really struggling here.

[Joanna]

She's got. Basically got the fan just on her.

[Jo]

I know you are like, I'm really struggling. This heat.

[Joanna]

I know.

[Jo]

Enough talk about us sweating in the heat. Look, isn't it an honor to be alive? Now, I have something I'd like to talk about.

[Joanna]

Okay.

[Jo]

Okay. I'm gonna say something which I know, I know not everyone will agree with me, but I'm just gonna say it.

[Joanna]

Go on.

[Jo]

I. I think predominantly now, of course, there are exceptions to the real. And I'm sorry if this makes me sound sexist or I'm selling feminism back. Women don't really give a. About football across the board. I mean, it's. It's a big. I know. It's a big statement. It's a cliche. It's a stereotype.

[Emily]

Video editor Emily, literally watching us there. Emily, are you.

[Jo]

Emily, are you watching football? Emily, are you. Yeah.

[Joanna]

Excuse me. I used to fancy Eric. Hans. Now, he was one of my first crushes.

[Jo]

Yeah, but that's different because you fancied our Kantana. You weren't there for the love.

[Joanna]

I don't hate. No, it's. It's a bit busy for me, to be honest.

[Jo]

And listen, like, even. Even with the world. Even with the foot. What's it called? The world tour. What's it called? Even with the big occasion that they're having at the moment.

[Joanna]

I don't think anyone likes football as much. Dislikes football as much as you. Well, not that you dislike it, you just have no involvement in it.

[Jo]

No involvement at all.

[Joanna]

Have you ever kicked a football?

[Jo]

Not that I'm aware of. I realize I have toxic takes on things. Some people have hot takes. My drinks could be a little toxic or tepid. They're rarely hot. But I'm just saying, of all the female friends I have, and I have a lot of them, none of them are arsed with the World cup, so I can only speak anecdotally. So I'm saying that's how boring the World cup is. You have these beautiful specimens of men and we still don't give a. Enter Madhu.

[Joanna]

Who?

[Jo]

Madu. That's his friends call him. That's what I'm calling him.

[Joanna]

Who does he play for?

[Jo]

He is the Nigerian goalkeeper. I need you to both Google him right now. I need your live reactions. Just Madhu. That's what I've been using regularly.

[Joanna]

Nigeria, okay?

[Jo]

In my late night scrolls. It's just Madu. Nigeria. Maduka. Fine, yeah. Now Madhu. Yeah. His friends call him Madu.

[Joanna]

Yeah, but that's not what the Internet calls them. Goalkeeper were Maduk. Oh, oh, okay.

[Jo]

I mean, wowie. It's.

[Joanna]

Oh my God. Oh my God.

[Jo]

Take my phone off airplane mode there to get my do up. Joe, have a look at my dude.

[Joanna]

Oh my God. He looks.

[Jo]

Yeah, very well. Look how tall he can go my keep, huh? Look how tall he's six foot six.

[Joanna]

Okay.

[Jo]

Speaks eight, I think seven languages. He is. His face is so symmetrical. You could use it as a spirit level to build a house.

[Joanna]

Is he married?

[Jo]

No, he's not. No, he's not.

[Joanna]

What age is he?

[Jo]

Men like him don't marry now. 26.

[Joanna]

Jesus Christ.

[Jo]

He is obviously blown up all over the Internet. I was looking at his face the other day and I was like, wow. Do you know the way sometimes I feel like if there is a God and. And there's like a conveyor belt up there and he's putting people together Physically,

[Joanna]

some of us got a bit unfair now that he got all that.

[Jo]

It's completely unfair.

[Joanna]

It's a lot. He doesn't deserve to be like, it's completely very fam. Footballer. And that hot and six foot.

[Jo]

He's like, he's made a marble. We're made up. We're made of ma. Like, I feel like some of us have been kind of rushed. Do you know what I mean? God was like, if I get this, I did.

[Joanna]

Well, when I look at Amber, where's my tits?

[Jo]

Yeah, no, she. She definitely. She got the great tits.

[Joanna]

Yeah.

[Jo]

Sometimes you feel like you were rushed, like you were kind of like, God's like, if I get this ear on her, I can go for a smoke break.

[Joanna]

Whereas, yeah, him, God had just woken up and he'd had a great night's sleep. He'd been like, oh, I woke up. And he said, I've had nine hours sleep, I'm in great form today. And then he create at that fella.

[Jo]

There's a strategy there. There was a plan, like, there was time put in.

[Joanna]

Oh, God.

[Jo]

He wasn't splodged together. He is perfection. I've never seen anything like it. Now.

[Joanna]

So you're on him.

[Jo]

Well, I'm just keeping an eye. I did see one video he had. He was side of the pitch and he had three phones.

[Joanna]

Oh.

[Jo]

And I said, of course he does the dog.

[Joanna]

Well, now, what I will say is, Joanne, he's in. Oh, we know if he's Nigerian and he's in America, the roaming charges are crazy. So I'm gonna give him the benefit of the doubt.

[Jo]

Yeah, Well, I would say it's the. Do you know the way we're always talking about people getting deep faked by celebrities, men asking them for stuff. Well, not that he'll get me, but I'd say he's going through so many dms that he has to use chat, GBT and AI to talk to the amount of women he's probably talking to. Do you know what I mean? So I'd say he's actually using AI just for the. For the. For the volume of it, because he has to.

[Joanna]

This is where I would get more romantic than you like. Whereas I'd be like, oh, maybe he's not like that. Maybe he just wants. Maybe he has a childhood sweetheart. I know he's stupidly good looking, but,

[Jo]

like, sometimes how good looking he is,

[Joanna]

it is actually, it's a bit stupid stupid.

[Jo]

Now. I think there was some issue with his ex and I think there was a There was. I think he. There. He has. And listen, I don't know why was

[Joanna]

the issue with his ex.

[Jo]

They have a kid and she did it. She did a tweet ages ago or. Or she did something ages ago where she was basically saying that he was, you know, he locked her and the kid out of the house. And she was going public with it because she was like, no one's helping us and all this stuff. Like he. There's. There was a bit of scandal there before, but he's gone viral again. And so look, he's probably.

[Emily]

I don't.

[Joanna]

He's 26 and he has a kid. Hell.

[Jo]

Well, sorry, look again. Google him again. He is now. I would go in now with full entrapment there. Yeah. It's not often I'd admit that. And the Tatsuna. It's insane. Look at his lips, look at his nose, look at his eyes.

[Joanna]

I can't. I haven't. I don't have time. I don't have time for another person

[Emily]

because to imagine his hands are quite big as well as a goal, as a goalkeeper.

[Joanna]

I mean, you look at poor David Seaman and then you look at this

[Jo]

fella and you know what, right? I went down this hole because I was like, jesus Christ, that man's just what a specimen. I've just never seen anything like it. And then I googled or no, sorry, I didn't Google.

[Joanna]

He dresses well. He dresses well. Outside of that, he's a nice watch.

[Jo]

He looks like he'd ruined your life.

[Joanna]

I'd be happy from Drew.

[Jo]

That's the thing. That's the problem with us. We'd be cute enough to have our life ruined by him, but I don't care.

[Joanna]

Cheat on me.

[Jo]

Yeah. You're like, just stay in my life once I'm one of them. Yeah, yeah. I'll provide snacks for the other women.

[Joanna]

I'm into polyamory.

[Emily]

Yeah.

[Jo]

I've got canapes. Bring them over. Just include me, please. I think he was in. Maybe I'm wrong with you. I might maybe just get my.

[Joanna]

Was he in a long term relationship? I feel like you haven't done enough deep diving. You've just been looking. You need to go deeper on this. This isn't enough for me. I need to know more about him. Like, what's the crack? Where does he live? Who does he play for?

[Jo]

Women are in his dm. He's kind of pretending he hasn't noticed it.

[Joanna]

And I'm like, dude, I don't think this is a new. I don't think this is a new thing for him. I think that you've just found him and he was.

[Jo]

There was. There was an accusation of fraud.

[Joanna]

Perfect. You love a guy who likes fraud.

[Jo]

I do. I've known. I've been known to dabble in that world. Yeah. I've been known to dabble in that world before. But yeah, so all the girls on Tick Tock are all obviously going like, they're, you know, he's the top of the town. Anyway, Instagram knew that I was obviously creeping on footballers, so it served me up. This story is like 15 hottest footballers.

[Joanna]

Do you know I've become obsessed with. To the point where like 20's like, okay, like, stop now. Bad Bunny again. I can't. I don't even mind the flip flops. I don't mind that. Yeah, I don't mind the flip flops.

[Jo]

Have you seen his glow up?

[Joanna]

Yes, I have. And I don't mind the old person either.

[Jo]

Oh, well, that's love. Because I wouldn't touch him in his old days.

[Joanna]

It's seeing him on stage and it's like, I'm being served him up. Like, I'll show you my Instagram. It's just all Bad Bunny now. That's all I'm getting served up. And I was on the plane, like, having another look at Bad Bunny. And Sonny was like, are you joking? I was like, it's just being served up. And he was like, it's getting weird now. And I was like, oh, my God, it's actually gotten so bad because the whole time of making us. And I was like, look at him now. And look at him doing this and spending's. Like, stop looking at Bad Bunny.

[Jo]

Does he have a hob? Who's. Who's Spencer's whole pass?

[Joanna]

He doesn't get into people like, I get into them.

[Jo]

He doesn't have. You're like, he doesn't get to have one.

[Emily]

I was like, fair.

[Joanna]

No, it's funny. He doesn't. It's weird. He doesn't fancy anybody else or think anyone else is attractive.

[Jo]

God, that's great.

[Joanna]

So weird. Yeah. There's no one catching anyone else.

[Jo]

That's brilliant.

[Joanna]

Yeah. I bring up like, hot women. He's like, gross.

[Jo]

I've always thought, like, as you know, people like open relationships and are doing the rounds. I was like, I don't have the mental headspace. If I could crack into my boyfriend's wank bank and empty it all and turn him into a vegetable, I would. If I could sc. If I could scrape his brain.

[Joanna]

I think it's important to fancy people.

[Jo]

Yeah. Me. Big photo of me in his. In his. In his. In his wank bank. And I. I scrape everyone else out. And if it meant damage to the rest of the parts of his brain, I. I'd take that risk. And then I just walk around. I just walk. It'll be like he had a lobotomy. He'd just be like, I love Joanna Spenny.

[Joanna]

I. I know. Like, if, like, if I see a hot girl on the beach or something, I'm like, do you think she's such a ride? And sometimes he'll join in with me. Like, I'm. I don't mind that. You know, the way I, like, I take pictures of myself and stuff like that. Like, put up my octopus. I have never seen the like as I have in Mykonos. Now, in fairness, they were all rights. I get why they were taking pictures. But, like, we walked into this restaurant, right, And Sveni went to the toilet. He said that there was this girl taking pictures of herself as he walked up to go to the toilet. And he was like, like, fully posing in, like, this mirror and, like, not caring that anyone was walking by her. And then he said he went to the toilet and then he came back and she was still doing it. And then we all sat down and, like, you had to walk by the tables to get to the toilet. So she came back about eight minutes later and sat down. She'd finished taking her pictures. And I was like, holy. So he was. She was sitting behind him so I could see her phone. And, like, she sat down and she was a table full of people, did not converse with them once. Gave her fellow the odd kiss, then opened the phone and was going through the pictures. Hundreds of the same picture. And then she was just like, voice like. You know those messages you can do of people just like, videos and just sending them to friends. And I was looking at it and I was like, she hasn't spoken once to anyone in her group. She has just been so swallowed in her phone, looking at pictures of herself and then going to take pictures.

[Emily]

And I just thought, it's the end of days.

[Jo]

It's grim.

[Joanna]

But that's like we were saying. We were like, is this life?

[Jo]

But you can't even blame her because she's just a product of what? It's not her, but she's a product of the generation. I know.

[Joanna]

But what I would have said is, like, she was. She was in her 30s, but, like, her fella sitting beside her, like, Would he not be like, do you want to just. Like, I know we all talk to people that we're with now instead of just you being on it. Because I. And I was then engulfed in watching her on her phone the whole time. And I was like, it's just so insane. She hasn't spoken to anyone once. And we saw that a couple of times in M. And that's what we thought. We were like, is this life now? Is this what I was like, is that what Gigi's gonna do when she's.

[Jo]

Well, speaking of which, the social media ban, Like, I swear to God, I, like, bring it in for me. Like, I am hooked to my phone.

[Joanna]

It's terrible. It's like I have to push timers on my phone to be like, right, get off your phone. Because as soon as you're sucked in and the algorithm changes to what you like watching. Bad. Funny. Like, please God, no more.

[Jo]

There was an Irish brand sent me one of these.

[Joanna]

It's the.

[Jo]

It's. I think it's called Kip and I. I actually never took it out of the box. I must get. I must try and get it.

[Joanna]

I have a phone with no Internet.

[Jo]

It's like a. It's like you. It's something that blocks the. It's not a burner phone. It blocks the Internet from you. But I was like, the social media ban, firstly, the kids can just lie about their age. Doesn't matter. Like, you can just put in your. I think only 1 think cuz Australia did it. The UK are going to do it. But I was like, if I have a kid, I will deeply resent the fact that by the time I have it, I can't hand my baby an iPad to. I want to raise my kid with an iPad like everyone else.

[Joanna]

You won't.

[Jo]

It's not fair.

[Joanna]

You won't.

[Jo]

I do.

[Joanna]

I'm telling you, you won't.

[Jo]

Second, I'm the dog. I saw a dog on an ipod the other day watching an iPad on the balcony.

[Joanna]

I said, I think it is one of the best things that has ever come in. Like, my kids with their iPad. We took their iPads away about, I'm gonna say, two years ago now. So they're only allowed to have them when they travel. And when we travel, there is like pure silence. You don't hear a single word from them because they're. They never get their iPads until we travel.

[Emily]

Yeah.

[Joanna]

So they're both immersed. They're all. All three of them are immersed in this, like, world in their iPad and like literally you're blocked out from them and it's fine when you're on the plane. But like we found at home like their behavior was getting so bad. Theodore stopped playing with toys. So like he wasn't playing with any of his toys. And I was like, this is really strange.

[Jo]

And then we're 18 or something like this.

[Emily]

Seven.

[Jo]

He's seven. Is he only seven? God, he's really taking his time, isn't he?

[Joanna]

I know, but like he just stopped going out and like kicking the ball around, stuff like that. And then we noticed their behavior was really bad and then we took them off them as like as, as what's what you call that?

[Emily]

Punishment.

[Joanna]

Yeah, sorry. We took them off them as punishment. And the difference in their behavior now I'm not saying they don't get screens. They get to watch TV every night but they all have to share the TV and they all get like, like 20 minutes each and then they lose interest in the TV because it's not as. It doesn't suck them in as much as. And the. That's on YouTube for kids. My God, like spending an eye like Tea, you cannot watch this. Like it's. It's grown men playing video games and Theodore's watching them play the video game.

[Jo]

It's weird.

[Joanna]

So it's like 50 year old American man playing Minecraft and Tea is watching him play Minecraft talking about unlike T. This is actual brain rush.

[Jo]

They were saying the other day that they're trying to make so that there's probably an innocent interaction there somewhere. But they're saying they're trying to stop adults being able to talk to children via these games.

[Joanna]

Well that's what Roblox so team used to play. Roblox. I had to take Roblox off because adults are intercepting it and going in and being able to talk to kids.

[Jo]

But like the worst adults are the words.

[Joanna]

It's just the pit. But I think it's an amazing thing and I think that, that it, it makes a parent's job easier because like some kids who are given iPhones and stuff like that, like a T school, you're not allowed to have iPhones. It's, it's a, it's a smartphone free school. So nobody can have a smartphone. So it's not like oh well he has it. Why can't I have it? Because nobody has it.

[Jo]

Yeah.

[Joanna]

And I think that would be the same with social media. Well, no one else is allowed on it. So you're not allowed on it.

[Emily]

Yeah.

[Joanna]

Just makes it easier for parents.

[Jo]

I think you see her one who went viral from the BBC news clip, the young girl, because the BBC news went in, they're asking school kids like, what you think about the ban? And she goes, what are you gonna do now that you don't have a phone for. For the weekend or something? I can't remember. What would you do now if you don't have a phone for the weekend? She's like, stare at the wall. Your one's like, okay, yeah, stare at the wall.

[Joanna]

Well, think about what we used to do when we were younger. Like, we had our phones, but they were just not.

[Jo]

We were playing with bricks and we were shoeless.

[Joanna]

We were drinking.

[Jo]

Yeah, we're drinking a few skills, but

[Joanna]

like, it does, it does feel like it's a good step. But I do think that, like, the thing behind that is you have to create other things for kids to do. Like, totally. I saw Matt Haig, you know that author.

[Jo]

Yeah.

[Joanna]

Writing that, like they should be reinvesting in youth clubs and different things like that and like trying to get your kids into doing other things. Yeah, that, that will be nice. But I don't think it's going to really happen for this generation. I think it will happen for T's generation and your kids as generation also.

[Jo]

There's no name, there's no age verification. So they're just saying if. So any kid can go up and put in the wrong age on Snapchat and they'll still get on.

[Joanna]

Yeah.

[Jo]

Do you know what I mean?

[Joanna]

I think it's down to parents to. To be. To be.

[Jo]

That's the ones that gave leasing it.

[Joanna]

Yeah. I just won't be giving my kids a phone. But he is obsessed with getting this watch that you wear. And like, I can see where he is. Like, it makes sense. And he can ring like four or five people on the watch. I haven't gotten it from. But like, it just means that, like, let's say he's in school or something and he has an after school club or he's at a playdate and like, he can send me Sven or like is. I think you put four numbers in and he can send a message. So some kids have that.

[Jo]

Let's not ship him. I would ship my kid. If I had a kid, I would ship her 100. Yeah.

[Joanna]

I've got their Apple watches.

[Jo]

Yes.

[Joanna]

So I got an air tag and you can buy a watch.

[Jo]

Yeah. It's brilliant.

[Joanna]

The airtag in the watch.

[Jo]

Yeah.

[Joanna]

So many's like, you're such a psychopath. I'm like, no, not at all.

[Jo]

Do you ever see those videos on Tick Tock? You're getting ready for the hurricane and they're like, they're sticking all sorts of like chip chips on their kids and all this jazz.

[Emily]

Like it's.

[Jo]

Yeah, yeah, now that's her. That's obviously when it comes to hurricane season, but like whatever. Battersea park, same thing, you know, But I. You should hide a chip in them as well because if they do get abducted, they. They'll take the Apple watches off. I'd stitch one into them.

[Joanna]

I know, yeah. I mean that's. That does feel a bit psychotic. But you, but you lose kids. I got lost when I was younger. I remember we found like this 18 month old kid in the park. And yeah, it just walked away from the parents. And then like, like about like 200 meters away, there was some party going on and we're like, is this anyone's child? And they were like, yeah, your kids. Just wandering on its own.

[Jo]

I remember I found. Well, I thought I found a dog outside my mom's house. Here goes a go. And I did a whole lap of the road and I brought it to the vet and everything. Turns out I'd taken it from the owner's garden. It was exactly, it was exactly where it was supposed to be.

[Joanna]

We did that with a job called Jason. When we were younger, we were convinced we'd find this stray dog and it was just a dog that lived on the road. I had, I had my. Oh my. I have my. Don't bothers. You know the way we have our recommendations of the week because I.

[Jo]

We like to keep things negative around here.

[Joanna]

Well, the only thing is, because I spent a long time watching one in Mykonos and me and Spam were raging.

[Jo]

Sorry to interrupt you. I just, I don't want to go funny. Pull Benny Blanco on this. Remember Benny Blanco did an interview and his feet were dirty on the couch and everyone was going, absolutely not because he walks. Are my feet okay?

[Joanna]

Show me they're not Benny Blanco dirty.

[Jo]

My tiles in the kitchen are a bit dark and I'm walking around barefoot also.

[Emily]

Are you just trying to put wiki feet content out there? Is that what you're doing?

[Joanna]

Shut up. Did you see the size and what the picture was Ben took of my feet? He keeps 0.5 in me. It's his new thing. And like you don't 0.5 giants. Like I look like.

[Jo]

What do you mean? He drag the pull.

[Joanna]

It just. It makes you look longer. So when My foot is like four times the size it usually is, and it's already massive. I'm like, do you mind not doing that, please? My hands look like these, like, long alien hands.

[Jo]

Sorry, go on.

[Joanna]

Anyway, my Don'ts of the week's only because I want to save the viewers time because, remember we were watching. We were doing Goggle box and we were watching that show. I will find you. Yeah. And I was like, oh, my God, that looks like the best TV show ever. It's hard and Coban. Is that who it is? And so I started watching with Sven. Three apps in. We knew it was. Well, we knew it was one epic. We had to watch it. And I've done it all. I've done all the episodes. I mean, it was. I just don't think it's worth your time.

[Jo]

Wow. Okay.

[Joanna]

I'm de.

[Jo]

Influenced.

[Joanna]

Yes.

[Jo]

Okay.

[Joanna]

And also.

[Jo]

Well, you know what? I actually did start it and then I. And you knew before, I kind of wasn't that I started and I was like, I usually, if I'm not like, you know, it didn't grip me. But it might be a slow burn.

[Joanna]

No, well, it's not a slow burn because I watched the whole thing.

[Jo]

Fine. It just doesn't burn. Yeah.

[Joanna]

And spent. Will we go home and finish that?

[Jo]

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Joanna]

Like, we were just raging. And also the JLO film. I wanted. I wanted to like it. Yeah, I did. I wanted to like it.

[Jo]

But now where she. Where is the. Like, I liked her Hustler era and why she come back to the made Manhattan stuff so good. That's the JLO we all want now. Maybe it's a money. Maybe it's a cash grab. She's with Brett Goldstein's done it with

[Joanna]

her because she did. That's that the TV show she did. It's like, like, it just. It got to. So she's met this man that she works with, and he's British. And then, like, he comes to her house and she has a whole British room where, like, she collects, like, British things. And she's really embarrassed. And I was like, oh, no. This is just so.

[Jo]

I'd say she needs the money.

[Joanna]

JLO needs some money.

[Jo]

I'd say she needs some money. When you are.

[Joanna]

Spends a lot of money.

[Jo]

That's the thing. When you're operating at that level, you, you, you, you, you, you move into your wallet, as they say. I'd say she needs the cash because she canceled her tour. Do you remember?

[Joanna]

A lot of people are canceling their tour, though, because I Don't think a lot of people have money to be going to concerts while we're here.

[Jo]

Howard's with Apollo. December 16th. Is it December 16th show?

[Joanna]

It is.

[Jo]

Are you sure?

[Joanna]

Yeah.

[Jo]

December 16th. Ticket's still available.

[Joanna]

Would you not have just done Wembley? This is. You did this last time with. With. With.

[Jo]

Speaking of Wembley, guess where I'm going.

[Joanna]

Tyree Soils. Wembley diary. Soils.

[Jo]

Yeah. This week.

[Joanna]

Oh, my God. I wanted to go. I was invited and I couldn't because he's not on till 8. Do you know that?

[Jo]

I didn't.

[Joanna]

He's not on till around 8.

[Jo]

I'm okay with that.

[Joanna]

I just thought, I can't.

[Jo]

I'll get a good lie in the morning, get my sheets done, get all my washing out. Get it in.

[Joanna]

Yeah, I got invited to it. I actually got invited to a box with a friend. And I was like, I'm not gonna ruin that for you.

[Jo]

Are you not coming to Wimbledon?

[Joanna]

That's a day event.

[Jo]

Yeah, but are you not coming?

[Joanna]

Yes, I am going.

[Jo]

When?

[Joanna]

The same day as you, I think. Yeah.

[Jo]

Okay, that makes sense.

[Joanna]

Who have you invited?

[Jo]

I think I'm bringing Grace Campbell. If she ever replies to me, that'll

[Joanna]

be a good day, I think. You see, that's a day event.

[Jo]

That's a day event. And then I'm going straight. Like, this is.

[Joanna]

This is going from Wimbledon to Harry Styles.

[Jo]

Day of dreams. In my defense, I've been working my tits off. I deserve a day like this. I deserve it. She says,

[Joanna]

I got invited to Harry Styles. And I just said to my friend, I said, no, it's gonna be. It's just eight o'. Clock. Well, I'm just gonna waste your ticket, and I don't want to waste the ticket. And I don't want to feel like I have to try and be fun when I'm not fun past seven.

[Jo]

Well, I didn't get invited now. I invited myself. But, like, that's. I'm. I. I also still feel that's acceptable. Apparently, the show is.

[Joanna]

Oh, it's. It's amazing.

[Jo]

Banging and, like, I'm not. I'm not, like. I'm not gonna say. How do I say this? I hate when people are like. And I'm not really. I am into him. I think he's an amazing performer. I think he's really talented. Yeah, I think he's. This is him now really stepping into, like, oh, this is a proper legacy.

[Joanna]

How many is he doing? Like, 14 wembleys. Like, it's incredible.

[Jo]

Yeah, it's. The record is that I mean, who else sells? Taylor Swift, Harry Styles.

[Joanna]

I would be the same. I don't know loads of his songs, but remember last time I said that he wasn't the best dancer at the British to take it back. I think. Yeah, he's got moves. He's just dualeeping himself and he's just gotten really good at dancing.

[Jo]

Yeah.

[Joanna]

Also, he puts on a good show. I love his crowd engagement. He's been doing gender reveals on stage and he helped a girl find her sister at one point. He did. Yes. And he's just been doing fun things like that. He loves his fans and I just think. And he ran to Wembley from his house. He did a 10K.

[Jo]

I saw that.

[Joanna]

God is such a.

[Jo]

He doesn't drink. See, I'd run to the Apollo, but I'd never make it home.

[Emily]

Home.

[Joanna]

Do you know what I mean? Would you run to the Apollo now? Come on.

[Jo]

I've genuine. I've often thought about cycling to the Apollo. I've never done it, but I've given it thought.

[Joanna]

Same thing.

[Jo]

Yeah, it's the same thing. It is.

[Joanna]

Harry did his 10k and you thought about cycling.

[Jo]

So it is.

[Joanna]

I get it. You're. You're the same person.

[Jo]

Yeah. And my. My body appreciated the thought.

[Joanna]

I can't believe you're doing two things in one day. I'll get back to that. I will get back to this.

[Jo]

I know. I. Yeah. Do you know what? It just. The two of them just fell on the day and I wanted to do

[Joanna]

tell me when you go to sleep and everything because that's the things I like to know.

[Jo]

Of course. Yeah. Of course. You can come here and wait for me in the hallway.

[Joanna]

I don't care. I don't care about how then. I don't care about any other gossip. I just want to know what time everybody went to bed.

[Jo]

I'll tell you what time everyone tapped out. But I'm actually really looking forward to it. And I don't like crowds. I just have to keep around. I have to keep a check of myself in Wimbledon.

[Joanna]

Did you see?

[Jo]

So I don't get over excited and drink too much bubbly stuff.

[Joanna]

You probably will, though.

[Jo]

And I'm going to tell you this. My skirt's even shorter this year.

[Joanna]

Is it?

[Jo]

Yeah. Remember Pat was going mad last year? She was like. You remember she sent me that message, don't hate me. What you're wearing, what you're wearing is not appropriate for Wimbledon. You need a longer a line skirt.

[Joanna]

Well, I dress like a slag this year.

[Jo]

Yeah, let's go slaggy.

[Joanna]

Okay, we'll go slaggy.

[Jo]

Sporty, Sporty slags, boys. That's the, that's the dress code.

[Joanna]

5. Did you see it, what Olivia Wild said about Harry style? Do you remember?

[Jo]

She did call her daddy, didn't she?

[Joanna]

She did call her daddy and she was talking certain things about Harry Styles, about. People went absolutely crazy because she was like 10 years older than him and blah, blah, blah, blah. But she also said that like when she'd have, when she'd have a fight with Jason Sudeikis, her husband, she'd say, well, I'm going, I'm going to Harry's. And like he would lose his mind so much. That's why one time he lay in front of the wheels of her car.

[Jo]

He actually did that.

[Joanna]

Yeah, but I imagine your partners being like, I'm going to see Harry. Anyone but Harry. He's not Harry in those shorts. It's the, the. It's with those tattoos.

[Jo]

And he lay down in front of the car. That's true.

[Joanna]

I would lie down in front of the car.

[Jo]

Jesus.

[Joanna]

I'd hang on to the.

[Jo]

I don't know what he's done, I don't know what they've done. But like there's nothing worse than your. When you're, when your relationship is breaking up. Like, what an awful thing. What an awful situation where they're like, well, I'm going to go and get ridden senseless by someone hotter, younger, more successful and richer than you. And they need to think about them riding. This is why I give them me.

[Joanna]

I was listening back to our bonus, by the way, and I would like to do a corrections corner. There's no way I'd be okay if sp started going out with, with Marco.

[Jo]

Robbie.

[Emily]

It was a big time.

[Joanna]

I was like, oh my God, it was real high horsey that day. Like, oh, I wouldn't mind. Yeah, right. I'd be absolutely institutional.

[Jo]

I have something to say for sure.

[Joanna]

Yeah, I was listening back and I was like, I was like. Because we were talking about Ariana Grande and I was like, oh my God, I'd hate, hate that. What am I talking about?

[Jo]

Yeah, know, I figured you'd have something to say about that.

[Joanna]

Yeah, well, I take it back. I'm sorry. I was just trying to be.

[Jo]

Margaret, if you're listening, if you're listening to this, back off.

[Joanna]

Yeah, cuz I will be really upset.

[Jo]

Yeah, back. Cuz we know you want them. Yeah, back off.

[Joanna]

Get lost, Margo. And one time I got jealous.

[Jo]

She in his dms. Is she like.

[Joanna]

Is she.

[Jo]

I don't know. She's. Once she heard the pod, she was like a radical dragon pie. Bushy.

[Joanna]

I think she saw that he had done a sub 3 hour marathon and thought, I want to get in on that.

[Jo]

Of course. Can I. Can I issue a congratulations?

[Joanna]

Yeah.

[Jo]

So back to the World Cup. I wanted to congratulate the Scottish World cup fans. They drank Boston dry and they have made a.

[Joanna]

A legion of new fans themselves. The Americans are obsessed with the Scots.

[Jo]

Yeah.

[Joanna]

I did see the English going over and slagging on off the Scots because I think there was a bit of jealousy there because the Americans loved the Scots winning them over. But they have enough room in their hearts for everybody. So I think that the English suggests they can be the. If the Scots are the Tartan army, the English will be the Red and White Army. Is that right? Is that what they're called?

[Jo]

Sure, sure. I think if I was to join, I've decided to become an honorary Scottish.

[Joanna]

You're not Scottish. I'm Scottish.

[Jo]

I will not rest until I bring a show to a town and they drink the place dry. It is such an achievement.

[Joanna]

Why don't you start getting into the. Into the rugby? You'd love that.

[Jo]

Would I?

[Joanna]

I think she'd like that. But just the six nations because there's too much. There's too much of this.

[Jo]

I like the vegetable ears on those lads.

[Joanna]

They're not great. I'd always wear the hat. I wouldn't want to have those ears. And you can only get them pumped out every so often.

[Jo]

I did a list of towns I think I could bring a show to and we would drink dry.

[Joanna]

Okay. Knock.

[Jo]

Swansea, the Vatican. Tramore, Winnipeg, Stratford Upon Avon.

[Joanna]

Edinburgh, Glasgow, Aberdeen, potentially.

[Jo]

So if anyone's listening from those towns, that is a threat.

[Joanna]

And we will see you shortly.

[Jo]

I will be there. Yeah. And I think we can drink a

[Joanna]

dry on that note. Thank you, everybody.

[Jo]

Are we finished?

[Joanna]

Goodbye. Jesus, my knickers are wet now because I'm so sweaty.

[Emily]

I think we'll end there then, won't we?

[Joanna]

This has been a global production.