Podcast Summary: Nadie Sabe Nada | "Marlon Brando también está seco"

Date: April 29, 2023
Hosts: Andreu Buenafuente & Berto Romero
Podcast: SER Podcast

Overview

In this signature improvisational episode, Andreu Buenafuente and Berto Romero meander through humorous, unscripted discussions, blending absurdity with reflections on daily life. The themes range from the taxonomy of pistachos, everyday language quirks, and personal audio memos, to mafia fantasies and wild stories about Marlon Brando. As always, audience interaction and playful banter form the heart of the show.

Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Teatro Updates, Improvisation, and a Running Start

[00:34–01:54]

• Andreu and Berto riff on theater schedules and the routine of promoting sold-out shows.
• Humor on confusion about travel dates:
  • "Dije que en junio, pero es en octubre… hay un tío en la Gran Vía en junio mirando como Travolta en el meme…" (A, [01:18])
• Berto jokes about being labeled a monologue "referente" just for enduring long enough in comedy ([03:04]).

2. Las secciones no mueren – The Nature of Old Segments

[03:12–04:37]

• Playfully discuss how podcast segments, like ex-presidents, never really die but linger comically.
• Repeated playful interruptions—Berto echoing Andreu—demonstrate their improvisational chemistry.

3. Bertos Secos – Are Pistachios Real Nuts?

[04:37–11:24]

• Topic: A Huffington Post piece claims pistachios are not technically nuts.
• Berto, as mock expert in "frutos secos":
  • “Para mí lo importante es que sea seco, no tanto que sea fruto o semilla. Tú si me lo das seco, yo lo entro en el grupo seco.” (B, [09:50])
  • Extended riff on categorizing anything dry as a “fruto seco”—including dried tomatoes and melon seeds.
• Jokes about the “fruto secólogo” title being revoked due to Berto’s wavering expertise ([11:21]).

4. Personal Audios – Me acuerdo un poco

[12:10–18:53]

• Inspired by a listener query about phone recordings, Berto shares odd voice memos:
  • Avispa en botella de zumo: recording a trapped wasp ([14:28])
  • Saxo a la una y veintitrés: a distant saxophonist in the night ([15:11])
• Andreu contributes:
  • Safari guides speaking Swahili in the Serengeti ([16:19])
  • Azafato susurrador: recording a flight attendant’s whispery announcement in German—sparks joking sexual undertones ([17:37])
  • “Gente diciendo hazme tuya…” (A, [18:00])
• The section’s blurry structure lampooned: "No sé, no me acuerdo cómo se llamaba" ([18:44])

5. Phone Privacy & Naming Your iPhone

[19:13–22:22]

• Discussion on resisting the urge to glance at strangers’ phones, and Andreu’s anti-peek privacy screen.
• Berto recounts anonymizing his iPhone as "de María José" to avoid being too easily identified on public networks—briefly riffing on names like "Maricarmen" ([21:24])
• Light paranoia about train hackers is mocked.

6. Mafia Fantasies & Marlon Brando Tangent

[23:12–35:20]

• Listener question: “¿Habéis pensado alguna vez en delinquir o algo ilegal? Si quisierais ser mafiosos, ¿cómo lo haríais?” ([22:37])
• They riff on mafia stereotypes, then spiral into a segment dubbed "Mafilia"—a comedic portmanteau of mafia and cinephilia ([27:33]).
• Marlon Brando Stories:
  • Discuss Brando’s legendary oddities (cotton balls in cheeks for "The Godfather," refusing to learn lines).
  • “Para hacerse la mandíbula más prominente… luego yo lo probé en un GAC y es la cosa más asquerosa del mundo… parecía un imbécil.” (A, [26:00])
  • Tales from "The Island of Dr. Moreau" and "Apocalypse Now": Brando demanding a bucket of ice for scenes, befriending a "mini-me"–like actor, and always creating chaos on set.
  • “Cada vez que viene Marlon Brando es aliarla.” (B, [31:34])
• Absurd misattribution about Carmen Sevilla frying eggs for Brando, then correcting that it was Sara Montiel ([35:14]).

7. Language and Social Rituals — “Hola” vs. “Adiós” Dilemma

[35:21–41:14]

• Listener laments confusion when greetings and farewells don’t match.
• Berto philosophizes: “Buenas” only fits in familiar settings, and the plural form’s odd social endurance ([36:01–36:31]).
• Both reflect on difficulties of being heard at home; interruptions, “titulares” (headline-speak), and feeling rushed by family.
  • “Hablo en titulares porque ya mi hija... me mira como si fuera un turra…” (A, [37:12])
  • “En mi casa cualquier pausa se interpreta como que ya no sé qué decir…” (B, [38:12])

8. Audience Interaction – Cultural Differences, Domestic Quirks

[42:13–47:27]

• Mexican-Italian audience member offers "Nessuno sa niente" T-shirts ([43:07])
• Story: Andreu’s wife accidentally stabbing him with a picnic knife—“como si tu abuela fuera James Bond” (B, [45:00])
• Anecdote: Berto's slow-motion fall while hiking in Menorca after joking about collecting sweat, prompting everyone’s concern ([46:29])

9. Family, Noise, and Listening

[47:38–49:44]

• Listener Lucas describes being unable to hear anything at home due to his talkative family, using subtitles for TV.
• His wife: “Si no me siento escuchada tengo más necesidad de hablar.”
• Berto reflects: after years shushing his kids, now they demand quiet from him: “Ahora ellos se ponen la tele y yo no puedo abrir la boca. Ojo con eso.” (B, [49:44])

10. Final Listener Q&A:

[50:10–51:12]

• “¿No se cansan de trabajar juntos?”
  • Andreu: “Te quiero decirte algo, estoy contigo porque me escuchas y porque me miras como si lo entendieras y para mí ya eso ya es mucho.” ([51:06])
  • Berto responds with canine loyalty joke: “Como un perro, ¿no?” ([51:11])

Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• “Las secciones no mueren, son como los presidentes del gobierno, que siguen ahí… bueno, menos los que han muerto.” (A, [03:33])
• “Me he comprado un coche color pistacho y no puedo abrirlo.” (B, [06:32]) — chiste de “cinta de casete”.
• “Para mí lo importante es que sea seco... si a mí me lo das seco, yo lo entro en el grupo seco.” (B, [09:50])
• “Cada vez que veáis Friends, pensad que están riendo... muertos.” (A, [07:45]) — sobre las risas enlatadas.
• “Gente diciendo hazme tuya, hazme tuya…” (A, [18:00]) — sobre el azafato alemán.
• “Para ser mafioso hay que tener unos huevos muy gordos. Marlon Brando... mejor actor de la historia. Uno de ellos.” (A, [27:10])
• “Cada vez que viene Marlon Brando es aliarla.” (B, [31:34])
• “Hablo en titulares porque... en mi casa no puedo hablar más de 10 segundos porque ya canso.” (A, [37:12])
• “El problema que tengo yo en casa es que creo que hablo muy lento para lo que ellos necesitan.” (B, [38:12])
• “Como si tu abuela fuera James Bond. Arma de madre, James Bond.” (B, [45:00])
• “Ahora ellos se ponen la tele y yo no puedo abrir la boca. Ojo con eso.” (B, [49:44])
• “Te quiero decirte algo, estoy contigo porque me escuchas y porque me miras como si lo entendieras y para mí ya eso ya es mucho.” (A, [51:06])

Highlighted Timestamps

• [01:18] – Berto and Andreu’s confusion about show dates
• [03:33] – Secciones no mueren riff
• [09:50] – Berto’s dry definition of "fruto seco"
• [14:28–18:53] – Offbeat personal voice memos: wasps, sax, flight attendants
• [23:12–35:20] – Mafia segment, Brando stories, cinephilia
• [37:12–41:14] – Family conversation dynamics, talking in "headlines"
• [43:07] – Italian/Mexican listener gifts shirts
• [45:00] – "Arma de madre, James Bond" anecdote
• [51:06] – Finale: why Andreu and Berto don’t tire of working together

Conclusion

This episode encapsulates the uniquely unpredictable charm of "Nadie Sabe Nada": spontaneous, meandering, and driven by the chemistry between its hosts. From debates on whether pistachios are truly nuts to homespun mafia aspirations, and from Brando’s legendary eccentricities to the daily art of being (or not being) heard at home, Andreu and Berto reinforce that, indeed, nadie sabe nada—but it’s always fun to listen.