Victoria Monet on Mom Guilt, Working Motherhood, and Her First Book

Summary

Naked Beauty Podcast Summary

Episode Title: Victoria Monet on Mom Guilt, Working Motherhood, and Her First Book
Host: Brooke DeVard Ozaydinli
Release Date: July 14, 2025

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In this heartfelt episode of Naked Beauty, host Brooke DeVard Ozaydinli welcomes multifaceted artist Victoria Monet to delve deep into the intricacies of motherhood, the pervasive sense of mom guilt, balancing a thriving career, and the inspiration behind Victoria's debut children's book. The conversation offers a blend of personal anecdotes, insightful reflections, and practical advice, making it a must-listen for working parents navigating similar journeys.

Introduction and Personal Background

The episode opens with Victoria Monet sharing her profound personal experiences that shaped her understanding of mom guilt and motherhood. As a mother of two—a six-month-old and a four-year-old—Victoria introduces her book, which has become a cherished addition to her household.

Notable Quote:

"It's definitely filling the gap."
— Victoria Monet [00:52]

Inspiration Behind the Book

Victoria recounts her first experience as a mother, marked by an emergency C-section and the subsequent separation anxiety during her baby's four-day stay in the NICU. These early challenges ignited her desire to address the often unspoken emotions of new mothers.

Notable Quote:

"I didn't really hear of a book that really addressed this specific topic. So I just wanted to fill the gap."
— Victoria Monet [00:52]

The Moon and Stars Analogy

A significant portion of the discussion revolves around the book's central analogy—the moon and the stars representing the bond between parents and children. This metaphor encapsulates the constant presence of a parent’s love, even when physically apart.

Notable Quote:

"It's like the whole universe is in the display, but you still focus on the love between the characters."
— Victoria Monet [12:49]

Balancing Career and Motherhood

Victoria shares her strategies for managing the delicate balance between her career and family life. She emphasizes the importance of communicating her dreams to her child, ensuring that Hazel understands her aspirations are also for their collective future.

Notable Quote:

"It's doing this for me because you're building a legacy."
— Victoria Monet [08:22]

Quality Time and Emotional Connection

Victoria highlights the significance of quality time with her children, incorporating practices like listening to healing frequencies and engaging in positive affirmations to foster a strong emotional connection.

Notable Quote:

"Hazel loves to pick which frequency she wants. She doesn't know what it says, but she's just scrolling through."
— Victoria Monet [04:48]

Collaborating with Artists

Discussing the book's artwork, Victoria praises collaborator Aaliyah Marley for her ability to transform everyday elements into captivating characters, enhancing the book's appeal for children.

Notable Quote:

"The colors still stand out beautifully. And it's like the whole universe is in the display."
— Victoria Monet [12:49]

Impact of Motherhood on Career Perspective

Motherhood has profoundly influenced Victoria's approach to her career. She strives to be a role model for her children, demonstrating effective problem-solving, time management, and the pursuit of personal dreams.

Notable Quote:

"Our kids are kind of like spies. They're watching everything that you do."
— Victoria Monet [13:49]

Writing Process and Future Projects

Victoria distinguishes between writing music and writing a book, emphasizing the silence and introspection required for the latter. She reveals plans for future projects, including another children's book inspired by sensitive topics like bullying and grief.

Notable Quote:

"The biggest difference was the silence. Sometimes the moon looks big, but no."
— Victoria Monet [19:39]

Audience Reception and Personal Stories

Victoria shares touching moments of how her children interact with the book, such as Hazel recognizing herself in the illustrations and Victoria’s son memorizing the book's words to read to his sibling.

Notable Quote:

"I wanted it to be something that children can take outside of the book and remember almost as a mantra."
— Victoria Monet [09:47]

Advice for New Parents

In the Q&A segment, Victoria offers invaluable advice to new parents juggling personal dreams and parenting responsibilities. She underscores the importance of community support, time management, and self-compassion.

Notable Quote:

"Follow your instincts. And sometimes it may be the wrong choice for June, but in August, if you follow that same thing again, it can lead you."
— Victoria Monet [27:10]

Navigating Future Endeavors

Victoria discusses her aspirations to collaborate with her daughter Hazel in creative projects, envisioning ventures like children's music and illustrated books, thereby intertwining her professional and personal life seamlessly.

Notable Quote:

"I could see us creating like Gracie's Corner for TV or YouTube channels."
— Victoria Monet [22:32]

Closing Thoughts

The episode concludes with Victoria reflecting on moments when she feels most beautiful—both in her external appearance and her inner strength. She cherishes the genuine affirmations from her children, reinforcing her sense of self-worth and beauty.

Notable Quote:

"I feel beautiful when Hazel says, 'I'm beautiful,' because she does not lie."
— Victoria Monet [21:29]

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Key Takeaways:

1. Addressing Mom Guilt: Victoria’s book serves as a beacon for mothers grappling with guilt, providing relatable narratives and affirmations.
2. Balancing Act: Effective communication and quality time are essential in harmonizing career aspirations with motherhood.
3. Creative Expression: Collaborations with artists enhance the storytelling experience, making it more engaging for children.
4. Future Aspirations: Victoria envisions a collaborative future with her children, blending personal and professional growth.
5. Community and Support: Emphasizing the need for communal support and openness in seeking help can alleviate the pressures of parenting.

This episode of Naked Beauty offers a profound exploration of the emotional landscapes of motherhood, the courage to pursue personal dreams, and the enduring bonds between parent and child. Victoria Monet’s candid revelations and uplifting insights provide both solace and inspiration to listeners navigating similar paths.

Transcript

[Victoria Monet]

Thank you, Meta. Thank you, Threads for making this morning possible. I'm so, so excited and delighted to bring out Victoria. Victoria Monet. Please join us. Doesn't Victoria look beautiful? Gorgeous. A ray of sunshine. Really. I love this book. I am a mom of two. I have a six month old and a four year old.

[Unknown Host]

Mike isn't on here, but here we go.

[Victoria Monet]

Okay, we're live.

[Unknown Host]

I didn't know that. Wow.

[Victoria Monet]

Yes. A six month old and a four year old and the book has gone platinum in our house. We've been reading it. We've been reading it a lot. We've been reading it a lot. So what inspired you to create this story?

[Unknown Host]

Well, my first experience as a mom when my child came into this world was an emergency C section. And she was immediately taken to NICU for four days. And so that was my first occurrence with separation anxiety myself and like mom guilt. Like, was it my body? What happened to her? Did I eat wrong? What did I do? And then as she grew, those occurrences kept happening where I'd have to go even to the bathroom. I'm like, I don't know if she's hungry. Just separating from your child can be as, you know, as a mom, it's tough. They've been with you for 10 months and then suddenly they're not attached to you. So. And then her first day of school was another one of those moments. And I didn't really hear of a book that really addressed this specific topic. So I just wanted to fill the gap.

[Victoria Monet]

Absolutely. It's definitely filling the gap. And I love the analogy of the moon and the stars as parents and children. How did that analogy come to you?

[Unknown Host]

Well, I've always been like a moon star gazer type of person. We lived in a city called Wilton. My mom will laugh. When I was in high school and there was no street lights, it was only reflectors, which was complicated while driving. But when the lights went off, you could see so many of the stars, like the clear view of the sky. Not very many people lived in this city in the area, so there wasn't enough that much pollution in the air. So it just gave me this clear view of the sky. And I always loved how it looks and been fascinated by the universe and stars and what's out there and what's beyond and how we align and all of those things. So it seemed like a very easy reference for a child to understand because we definitely can depend on nighttime happening every day.

[Victoria Monet]

Yes.

[Unknown Host]

So we can look at the sky every day and have that reference. So. And Also felt like the most predictable time that you will be with the child is when. While you both sleep. Because usually parents go home at night. They don't usually have night shifts, but they'll sleep with the child at night. And then when in the morning comes, that's when you kind of separate. They go to school, you go to work. So I felt like it was the right analogy that you and your child are usually together at nighttime. And even when you don't see me in the morning, I'm actually still there in the universe, in the world with you, thinking of you, loving you, and we will return together at night as the moon and the star.

[Victoria Monet]

Yes. It's such a beautiful analogy. There's some moms here from the school that my son goes to, and they can attest. The kids love planets, right? I mean, they're so deep in the universe. So my son, as soon as he saw the, like, moon, he loved it. He loved it immediately. So I feel like it's a really powerful analogy now. I feel like as working parents, we sacrifice so much, and it's really hard to be away from your children for an extended period of time. You know, I'm away from my kids this morning. It feels great. I'm having a very glam morning. But when it's a long time, it starts to be hard. And I know you're touring, so when you are going on tour, when you are going to be away from Hazel for an extended period of time, what do you do to prepare her?

[Unknown Host]

Well, a lot of times I hear parents say, I'm going away, but I'm doing it for you. I try to express to Hazel that I have dreams as well, so that she understands it.

[Victoria Monet]

Both of us, wow, that's really powerful.

[Unknown Host]

I mean, it's something that we. I feel like when you express to a child, even though it's with love, that it's for them, then their brains are like, well, I didn't ask. I don't need anything. I have everything I want. Just stay home. And so the reference needs to be more so that it's for both of you. It's for everybody. So that when they grow up, they have those dreams and they're like, you know what this is for me? It's also for my family. I'm gonna make my family proud. But this is also for me, just instilling that at a young age. So I'm telling her those things. But I also make sure that the time I spend with her, when I am with her, is quality. So lots of hugs, Lots of cuddles. Listening to frequencies at night.

[Victoria Monet]

Where are you getting these frequencies?

[Unknown Host]

Spotify.

[Victoria Monet]

Okay, what are we typing in to find the frequencies?

[Unknown Host]

Just frequencies.

[Victoria Monet]

Just frequencies.

[Unknown Host]

So when you type in frequencies, they will give you a list of all of the different numbers, and each of them do different things. So some of them are healing frequencies. Some of them are for your body, and some of them are for better sleep. So it just depends on what you're wanting. So these days, Hazel loves to pick which frequency that she wants. She doesn't know what it says, but she's just, like, scrolling through. She's like. I'm like, okay, well, we've been led here. So this is what we're listening to tonight. And it seems to calm her. We also pray together. She has positive affirmations, so I know that she's repeating these things outside of my presence, which is super important for me to just make sure that she has the mind of her own and doesn't need me every moment because I can't be there every moment. She can just replay certain things in her own mind that she remembers. Mommy said I love just like the.

[Victoria Monet]

Moon, the stars, the frequencies. You're very like. Do you have crystals?

[Unknown Host]

I do not.

[Victoria Monet]

Well, I feel like you're, like, one step away.

[Unknown Host]

I have had, you know, it's not fun.

[Victoria Monet]

I love it. I love it.

[Unknown Host]

I have had crystals, but I hear that you need to charge them, so I feel like mine are, like, not charged. Stagnant. Yeah.

[Victoria Monet]

You know what? I think another thing that kind of gets overlooked is there's preparing the kid for you being away. But then there's, like, how it feels for us.

[Unknown Host]

Right.

[Victoria Monet]

We have to take care of ourselves when we're away for a long period of time. Like, what do you do to not, like, live in the guilt or to just make yourself feel okay about it?

[Unknown Host]

I think that part of experiencing the guilt is letting yourself experience it and knowing that it is normal. So I think that's another thing that the book does, is mix people, aware that it's a very common thing and all of us are going through it, even though sometimes on social media it looks really easy for people. We're balancing all of these things, doing a hundred things at once. The stories are full of life, but inside, we can be struggling. And so this just allows a space for that conversation to happen between parents and between parent and child, guardian and child. And it's not even only parents. I feel like this book touches aunts and uncles because not all of us live in the same household in the same city. So you could be a aunt that gives this to your niece or nephew, and it still means something. And another meaning that I've gotten from the book is getting through grief. So noticing that if anybody has lost anybody, even as an adult and you're reading this book, you're like, okay, because I love this person. They're going to be with me through the test of time. It doesn't matter about their physical form or their physical presence. I still feel them, I still love them. And. And they'll be there because we love each other, and that's what connects us. But to answer. Did I answer your question? But, yeah. I prepare myself, I think, and keep myself going by making sure I allow myself to feel the guilt. And also making sure that I'm not wasting time when I am away. So making my time efficient so that I have to do what I would have done in 10 hours, in three hours now. So that's just time management, and that's what I prefer to do so that I make sure I can get home and make by a certain time. I still want to make sure I have a balanced schedule. But on tour, it is definitely tough. But taking advantage of technology is amazing. Like FaceTime. Can you imagine doing all the things we do without FaceTime?

[Victoria Monet]

Nope, not at all.

[Unknown Host]

So I think that's another analogy for sometimes the moon looks big, which is when I'm in front of her. And sometimes the moon looks small when I'm just on the phone, like I'm.

[Victoria Monet]

In the little square or on stage at an award show.

[Unknown Host]

Yeah, yeah. Yes. All of the things apply. So it's just all about opening the conversation and making sure you're communicating your honest truth with the child. Because they're honestly more advanced than you know.

[Victoria Monet]

Absolutely. And you know what you said that I think is really a game changer for me. Not saying I'm doing this for you, but saying I'm doing this for me because you're building a legacy. And it's so important that our kids understand that we have dreams, we have ambitions, and they should follow theirs, too. So I love that reframing. So Hazel, I feel like she's experienced more than most adults. This child has been to the Grammys. She was at Cowboy Carter. She had better seats than I did. What was Hazel's reaction the first time you read her the book?

[Unknown Host]

Well, she has heard many iterations of the book early on.

[Victoria Monet]

Did she give notes? Did she give feedback?

[Unknown Host]

She kind of. I was watching her reactions and what she would remember. And then eventually I showed her the artwork because I received the artwork back and I was, I was like, look at this, look. I was just on my phone. This is why I'm doing this. But look at the artwork. And then eventually it became the book got delivered and we were able to turn the pages and read the book. And she was very, very excited to see her picture. At the very end of the book, she was like, it's me. So I think she really, really enjoyed it. She had a great time learning the pages because she actually hasn't memorized. Now she knows what's on each page based on the pictures. She can't read yet, but that's, that's what I wanted for the book. I wanted it to be something that children can take outside of the book and remember almost as a mantra, like everywhere she is, I am, and I love her. When she's thinking of me, I'm thinking of her. And just kind of things to remember in their brain when those moments come.

[Victoria Monet]

Wow. I'm amazed that that was the intention because that's immediately what my son did. He memorized it so that he could read it to my six month old. So he was like, I want to learn all the words so I can read it to Jade, which is so sweet. I know. So it's working.

[Unknown Host]

It's working amazing. I love that.

[Victoria Monet]

I'm curious, what were some of your favorite books as a kid? Do you have memories of your parents reading to you?

[Unknown Host]

Well, my mom did tell me that I used to do the same thing as Hazel and pretend that I knew what was on each page and I would even like follow it. But I feel like maybe that's a common thing for children. I thought I was special, but I really, I was actually gifted this book after high school. This Dr. Seuss book called oh, the place is your go.

[Victoria Monet]

Yes. And an incredible book.

[Unknown Host]

It's like it still applies. Yeah, it will always apply. So I feel like I was inspired by that book and wanting to make a book that would stand the test of time and develop different meanings for people depending on the reader. So even though it's a really simple book, I feel like because of the ways that it can help you through grief, you can still apply it because we all go through that, you know? And also I feel like eventually the child will read it to you. Maybe then when they're going off to college or something, they're like, listen, now I've got to go, I'm going to read this to you or gift this to you. As I go off and do my own thing.

[Victoria Monet]

I'm so not ready for that.

[Unknown Host]

Me either. Honestly, time is moving a little too fast for me.

[Victoria Monet]

So when you got that book. Oh, the Places yous'll Go in high school, if someone could have told you then where you would be now today, would you have believed it?

[Unknown Host]

Yeah.

[Victoria Monet]

Yes. I love it.

[Unknown Host]

Yeah.

[Victoria Monet]

Because you've always worked hard. You've always been so talented.

[Unknown Host]

I feel like my determinate. I'm a Taurus.

[Victoria Monet]

Okay. Yes.

[Unknown Host]

So you do. Okay.

[Victoria Monet]

Yes. Yes. I'm like, let's bring more of the moons and stars into this conversation.

[Unknown Host]

I'm a Pisces moon. Pisces moon.

[Victoria Monet]

Okay.

[Unknown Host]

Yeah. But I feel like I. The calm in me was because I had a feeling that this was going to. To these things were going to happen. The question was when. It wasn't if, it was when. And so that's why I was so confident in, like, saying, mom, I'm not getting a 9 to 5 when I go to LA. I'm just gonna have to sing in front of in and out, and at least I'll be singing, you know? So I just was working on that goal. I just. The God was just. He was just trying to guide me and push me, and I knew it was gonna happen. I just didn't know when. You know, even in those hard, hard moments where I wanted to question it in the back of my head, the mini voice was like, girl, come on now. It's gonna happen eventually.

[Victoria Monet]

You always had the faith. I love that. The artwork in this book is so beautiful. You mentioned it briefly. Aaliyah Marley. What was it like collaborating with an artist to create the visuals?

[Unknown Host]

It was really, really special because I explained that I wanted to make regular things that we see every day into characters. And I think with the moon and a star softening them and making them personable, I feel like was a really great strength of Alia's. I love the colors that she.

[Victoria Monet]

I feel like I want to, like, open the book and show people the beautiful illustrations.

[Unknown Host]

Yes. Like, the colors, the merging of. It looks very, like, sparkly look. It's so pretty. It just looks like the pages are glowing, and I feel like it's very enticing for a child. And it's also super simple still. Even though it's, you know, representative of an entire universe, which is extremely large, the artwork is so simple and focused on the characters, but the colors still stand out beautifully. And it's like the whole universe is in the display, but you still focus on the Love between the characters. So she did an amazing job.

[Victoria Monet]

It feels immersive. You know, it's like you open this book and you're brought into this very specific world.

[Unknown Host]

Yes.

[Victoria Monet]

So in the dedication. The dedication is beautiful. You can't skip the dedication when you all read this book. But you talk about how your career has changed and become more meaningful since having Hazel. And I want to just understand how your perspective on your career changed since becoming a mom.

[Unknown Host]

Well, I think for all of the moms can relate that you really want to be a great example for your children, whether that be in success or the way that you handle problems, Problem solving, the way that you handle time management, the way that you can delegate and trust. So I think it just becomes like your kids are kind of like spies. They're watching everything that you do. So it becomes a bit more of a you're always on type of thing whenever they're around, because you want to navigate each little issue perfectly. And I know that sometimes that it's not perfect, but the effort is there. And so as a parent, I think that our biggest goal is to just return home with the happiness that we left with when we left them. So it becomes a really beautiful journey to go out in the world, pursue your dreams, and return home to them with something to share and something to teach them. And they can really sense your moods. They can really sense if your day was off. They can sense. And they want to feel, fix and be there for you the same way you want to be there for them. And so the book kind of paints that example really, really easily. And it's just all parents want to do is provide, too. So I think it gives a different vigor when you're going out into the world and you know that you have a child behind you expecting you to provide, you know, so it just very inspiring to be a parent at all.

[Victoria Monet]

It is. And you're so right. Kids are always paying attention. Sometimes you think they're not, but they're always paying attention 100%.

[Unknown Host]

I've been doing this thing with Hazel, too, since I know she's listening, is saying things about her that are positive. It's like, oh, my gosh, Hazel was such a good girl today. She just listened and she smiled and she was obedient and she was patient. And I know she's over there playing with the toys. And her dad will come in. He's like, yeah, like, she was just a great, great girl. Like, you know, because usually when people come over and. And you have a tough day, sometimes Our habit is to be like, girl, child. This child get on my nerves. But they're listening to you, so we have to be careful and have those conversations in the back room, you know, and debrief, but in front of them, it needs to be positive affirmations and things that they really can carry through their lives that make them feel good about themselves. Hey, I didn't know you were here. Sorry. Okay. I just need to talk about Ann really quick.

[Victoria Monet]

Please do.

[Unknown Host]

Can you stand up, please?

[Victoria Monet]

Okay.

[Unknown Host]

So she has been. This is my interior designer. She's been working with me to make my house feel like a home since Hazel was, like, not speaking. Well, that was probably, like, two months. But it's been a journey. So, like, when we come home and we feel good and we feel calm, it's in part because of Ann's design and making our homes feel so warm. There's trees in the house, so we're getting great air in there. It's like all earth tone, so, you know, I love it. It's like, just. No, Hazel's toys have to stay in the cupboard because they're pink. Mommy can have me. But no, she's done an amazing job, so I just wanted to give her love here.

[Victoria Monet]

Aw, that's beautiful. Well, shout out to Ann. Having a home that really feels like a sanctuary is a game changer. And you are doing so much. I mean, I don't even know how you had the time to write this book between all that you're doing. How do you take care of yourself when you're at home? Are you, like, a baths person? Are you. How do you kind of pour back into yourself?

[Unknown Host]

I love showers. Long showers. Long showers.

[Victoria Monet]

A good everything shower.

[Unknown Host]

Yeah. Like the hair and, like, the body scrubs. I'm also, like, a product junkie.

[Victoria Monet]

Yeah. What are we using? I'm like, I need. See, I need to know. I need to know what we're. What we're using.

[Unknown Host]

Everything. Like, I just. I can barely go on TikTok because I will buy it. I'm. I'm like the. The. The consumer that you want, because I'm clicking it. You tell me it works. I'm trying it. So I've gotten everything from, like, the turmeric scrubs to the. All the lasers and the. What are they called?

[Victoria Monet]

Like, the Gua Sha.

[Unknown Host]

Yes, those. I'm putting things in the freezer. I'm like, it's all. All of the things, so we probably have all the same stuff, honestly, because TikTok has really got us and Amazon too. My gosh. Amazon.

[Victoria Monet]

Yes. And when it comes next day, you're like, hello.

[Unknown Host]

And I love. I love. And I kind of want to go to the store.

[Victoria Monet]

I know, I know. Have you been hit with the African net sponge as yet?

[Unknown Host]

I have it. I have it. Yeah. Get my back. I'm like, how did I go all these years without this?

[Victoria Monet]

Yeah.

[Unknown Host]

Especially when you're, like, single. You're like, no one's there to wash your back. Hi, Ocean.

[Victoria Monet]

We love all the babies here.

[Unknown Host]

And hi, Candice.

[Victoria Monet]

I know. I'm so guilty of that too. It's like, you see the kids, and you just say hi to the kids, and then you're like, oh, hi, Mom.

[Unknown Host]

Oh. I experienced it a lot when I was pregnant, because people are like, I don't even exist. They come straight to the belly.

[Victoria Monet]

Right, right.

[Unknown Host]

I'm like, hey, you know, I'm here too. Yeah.

[Victoria Monet]

How was it different writing a book from writing music?

[Unknown Host]

I think the biggest difference was the silence.

[Victoria Monet]

I was like, I'm gonna put a beat to this. Yeah.

[Unknown Host]

Yeah. Sometimes the moon looks big, but no, I feel like this. The heart was the same. I still had the same intentions of making a difference in somebody who's reading or experiencing the product, but. And I tried to put cadence in there as well by the rhymes. I think that was inspired by Dr. Seuss as well, because I always found, like, okay, reading this feels like there's a rhythm in there somewhere. But I just also wanted to separate this from music, because I've done a lot of music, and I didn't want it to feel like it's supposed to be a lullaby. It can be if you'd like to read it that way, but my intention was just for it to be read as a book. And then also, Hazel did the audiobook with me. I don't know if you guys are aware.

[Victoria Monet]

I haven't heard that yet.

[Unknown Host]

Yeah, she did an audiobook, and it also comes in Spanish, and I don't speak Spanish, so I did record the audiobook in Spanish, but do not judge the accent. But, yeah, it was just as special of a process, and I did. It's kind of similar to music as well, because with music, I make a music video and collaborate with a director. And this I was collaborating with Aaliyah as an illustrator, so it still gets a visual component in there, But I loved it. I have another children's book in mind already that is written. I just don't have an illustrator yet.

[Victoria Monet]

But I love it. Well, you are an inspiration to so many of us. Speaking for myself, just as a working mom, trying to juggle it all and do it all, but also be there for my kids. It's just so great to see all of your success. Thank you. So we're all rooting for Victoria, right? I mean, we're just. We. We love you. And I do end all. I end all of my interviews with the same question. So I do want to ask you, when do you feel most beautiful?

[Unknown Host]

Oh, wow. I feel most beautiful. Well, there's two times after my glam team is done.

[Victoria Monet]

I know that's right.

[Unknown Host]

Sometimes I'm like, oh, that's nice. But I also feel really beautiful when I'm able to just have, like, be natural, and I feel happy and grateful, flaws and all. Then I'm like, okay. I feel settled and grounded in who I am. I also feel beautiful. There's lots of moments when I'm strong, like, when I've gotten through something and I've changed the way that I've reacted to something that would have maybe had me react differently a couple years ago. I'm like, wow, Beautiful. Beautiful job. So there's lots of moments, but I think my favorite probably would be, like, when Hazel says, I'm beautiful. Aw. Because she does not lie.

[Victoria Monet]

How did she say it? How does she tell you?

[Unknown Host]

She looks so pretty? Mama. Thank you.

[Victoria Monet]

Incredible. Well, thank you so much, Victoria. This has been such a pleasure. We're all so, so happy for you. Thank you.

[Unknown Host]

Thank you all for coming. I really appreciate you spending your Saturday morning here, here. And I. I hope you guys really enjoy the book for years to come with your families. And thank you so much. I really appreciate this, you guys hosting this, and. And the dog, too. Thank you guys so much.

[Victoria Monet]

Thank you.

[Unknown Host]

We're going to do a Q and A. Yay. So if I can get three people to raise their hands if they have a question, anything they'd like to add.

[Victoria Monet]

Don't be shy. I know you all aren't shy. Okay, I see.

[Unknown Host]

Answer your questions on threads. Okay. On the threads. On the threads. Hello. Hi, Roberto. Hi, Roberto. Love the artwork, by the way. Thank you. Question. As Hazel gets older, do you see yourself evolving in your writing? Maybe writing for an older crowd? For an older crowd? Like, as she gets older.

[Victoria Monet]

Oh.

[Unknown Host]

Oh, the book. I was like, music. Yes. Yes. I honestly feel like we'll collaborate, too. I see so much in our future as, like, mom and daughter, whether it be, like, children's music together. I could see us creating, like, a Gracie's Corner for TV or YouTube channels. Like, I also can see her illustrating a book for me because she's really good at art. She's like, really, really good. I'm like, okay, what do I have on my hands? But I definitely could see that. And there's another. The next book is another simple book, but it spans across many age groups as well. So. Awesome. Thank you.

[Victoria Monet]

Any other questions? Okay. Oh, yep, go ahead.

[Unknown Host]

I just wanted to thank you so much for this book. And I was just curious about the writing process. Yes. You know, because this is different than music. So like, are you like, oh, I have to be in a very Zen place or a little like, you know, idyllic space after, you know, playing with Hazel in order to be inspired or. I honestly, I feel like it just. What inspired me most was just the feelings that I'm getting I as a parent and the feelings that I'm seeing Hazel experience as a child. So I don't necessarily feel like I need to be, you know, in a specific head space to write. I feel like I just need to have the specific experience in life to write. And that can come whenever. I also, the book that I'm referring to for next time was inspired by a story that I saw that I didn't experience, which was about a child who committed suicide because he was being bullied. So I'll share with you what the book is called. It's called it's okay to Cry. And the sentiment was to combat the way that we console our children because a lot of times we're like, it's okay, get up, you're good, it's okay. But that needs to be like, it's. You can cry about it. Like, were you frightened or did it hurt you? More questions versus like stop crying. You know what I mean? Which can turn it to so much as an adult, like we're holding so much in our shoulders. So I feel like it just. My inspiration will come from experiences that I have and experiences that I see and I will continue if I'm inspired to just keep writing, whether it be books or children's songs or my own songs, like just, just writing. So. But thank you for the question. And what was your name? London. Nice to meet you. Hi, my name is Janab and. Hi. I have a 15 week old son. So it took me. Oh goodness. Put my face. You look amazing. I told her, I was like, got these barrel pants and I see you with the barrel pants too. This is a great color on you too. Thank you. Well, I've loved you for a long time. More recently discovered you in my Parenthood journey. I love both of you. I would love to know if you have any advice for new moms, new parents who do have dreams of their own, but are trying to. Yes. Balance it. Yes. So for me, when Hazel was about 15 weeks, it was a lot of introspection, and I was picking myself apart. It was like a kind of a. Like a funeral that I was supposed to be happy at because I felt like I was a part. The old way of myself had passed on, and I could never do that that way again. So it's really about finding yourself, but in a new way, which can be exciting, but it can also be frustrating. So I would say make sure that we do not shy away from asking for help. A lot of times as women, we feel like we gotta take all the groceries in at one trip. We gotta hold it all up. We have to be strong, and the children are watching us, so we have to just do so much. But I feel like, as a community, we need to be comfortable with delegating. And everyone around you should be able to extend that arm and be okay with it, especially in the first step, six months. That is when we need the most help. I mean, honestly, the whole time. I was gonna say, even my mom Right now, I'm 36. She needs help. She's like, your friends are. Tell her to. She's communicating through my friends and everything. So, like, it's gonna take a community. But I feel like we as moms need to be super comfortable with just extending our emotions and asking for help. And also, time management was a really big thing. So a schedule is important and sticking to it. Whether that be making sure that the nap times are exactly the same and you exactly at the same time. Because you should definitely be eating. Sometimes we skip that part. Resting at the same time daily, eating the same things, and making sure that you have a bit of creative time every day for whatever it is that you're trying to pursue. Scheduling is a really, really big one. Did you have any specific.

[Victoria Monet]

Well, I was going to ask. Have you. When you've been soul searching, how do you kind of figure out what's next?

[Unknown Host]

I really follow my instincts, and sometimes it's. I've been through the same cycle a couple times, and because of my instincts. And sometimes it's wrong. Like, I'm learning the same lesson almost in a cycle, in a loop, but I have to go through it myself, because if I don't, it's like when we're learning things in school, we didn't really experience or learn it thoroughly until we were on the field. Same thing with pregnancy. It's like people told us all the things that were going to happen, but we didn't really understand it until we went through it. And sometimes it takes a couple times to. To really master it. So I would just say follow your instincts. And sometimes it may be the wrong choice for. For June, but in August, if you follow that same thing again, it can lead you. It's like a ripple effect. It can lead you on a path that you would never expect. So at every moment, it's your gut instincts. And that's. I feel like the way that God communicates with you. But I also would say, because you're talking about the music industry, I feel like you're going to have a big opportunity to represent artists because of AI soon. We need help. So, like, if there's any that feels like anything to you, maybe look into that because we are scared about our. Our creative property as it relates to what I can do and replace for us. So maybe that's like a lane for you too.

[Victoria Monet]

Yeah. And I was just going to say you're clearly very smart and hardworking to get to where you've gotten this far. So I think I love Victoria's point about just trusting your intuition. Whatever you want to do, you can do.

[Unknown Host]

Time for a final question.

[Victoria Monet]

Oh, they both raised their hands so sweetly at the same time. Can we do like a speed round? Yeah, why don't you guys ask? Ask quick.

[Unknown Host]

And hi, my name is Millie. I am an actress and my partner. My partner is an audio engineer and music artist as well. We do not have any kids yet, but we are looking into that in our future, but are kind of nervous of being in the industry right now, bringing in a child into that world. So how do you kind of navigate that and I guess still stay grounded within that, including the whole family. I feel like I had Hazel at a pretty interesting time where it was. I feel extra scary because not only did we not know about music industry, we didn't know about the world. Like, it was the pandemic and we still. I still felt like drawn and really called to deliver her. And I think that you'll know in that moment when you guys are ready. There's never a perfect time ever, ever, ever. We're always like, what's the finance going to be like? What's the timing going to be like? But when that baby comes, you always figure it out because it's like our primal instinct to do so. I feel like the balance naturally kind of levels itself out even when the days are really, really difficult. I also think there was a sense of comfort from. For having a partner who understood my career and was willing to acquiesce when I wanted to go a little bit more this way. He's like, okay, I understand. When he wants to do this, it's about your partnership as well. So that's important. Going into planning and making sure you guys kind of assess all the scenarios and you guys are willing to kind of rubber band each other and let each other lean a little bit this way when you need to for each of your positions. And again, it's an instinct thing too. Like, maybe you don't want your child on social media. You don't want to show their face until they're 10. Maybe you don't want to announce your pregnancy to anybody until the second trimester or the gender until you give birth. It's all kind of your own path. But it comes to you as long as you're in tune with your higher source, you know, whether it be God, whatever your belief is, but just making sure you're in tune with that. And as a woman, we kind of. It comes to us too. So I feel like you'll know. Thank you so much. I'm trying not to cry.

[C]

Hi, I'm Kiran.

[Unknown Host]

Hi.

[C]

I wanted to ask about when you felt ready to have a child to you. That's why I feel like you guys just kind of answer that. But I'm very terrified and I don't know why. I just think it's because of the way the world is going. And I don't know if I'm. I don't think you need to be fully selfless, but I feel like I'm just now entering my selfish era a little bit, like, learning to like and love myself. So I feel scared. But I'm also in my 30s and I have a husband who'd be like the best dad ever. And I want to provide that for him, but I'm just like, I don't.

[Victoria Monet]

Know what to do.

[C]

I don't know if it happens. It does, but if not, then I'm starting to come with terms to the terms that it'll be okay even if I'm not a mom, but I want one. Like, I'm the best auntie ever.

[Victoria Monet]

So.

[Unknown Host]

Yeah, well, you know what? Like, yeah, honestly, like, we need to ask what you're doing. What are you ordering? Like, what's the skincare routine?

[C]

Indian food? No.

[Unknown Host]

Is it? Oh, okay.

[Victoria Monet]

Okay.

[Unknown Host]

I think, well, to be real, age does become a factor as a woman when you're thinking about having a baby. So as much as we want to say there's no time, time, clock, and it's possible it's kind of in the back of our heads like, okay, we're approaching 40, 45, we might, you know, but there's an option, you know, to, to freeze eggs, there's an option to adopt. You know, the birth doesn't have to come from you. There's lots of children and you seem like you care about the world. You're like, I don't know about the state of the world, but there is a child out there who would be loved to be in your family if it's not from you, and if that's not it, then I think you have to instinctively know when you and your partner are ready to do that. And sometimes that readiness and that answer comes from getting pregnant. You know what I mean? So I guess if you're open to it, as long as you're open to it and if it happens, then you would be able to consider more seriously if it's something you want to follow through with. But also thinking ahead of time, just preparing your spirit and your mind for it in a calm sense. Because technically I think even our parents, parents were scared. Like I don't know about the world right now. Like the 70s, the 60s when we were in slavery, we were like, I do not know about the world. And that's always been the case. But sometimes you birth the child that changes. And imagine you have a Martin Luther King. Imagine you have Barack Obama. Imagine like there's possibilities for you and your child to be the person that changes it. So I would have that in the background of your mind and obsess about the positive outcomes instead of the negative ones. Just like I'm going to birth the best, most vibrant, most helpful, most like social baby. And I'm going to be the best mom and my husband's going to be the best dad. Like that's what we want the thoughts to be all the time. You feel, how does it make you feel? How does it make you feel to be love for?

[D]

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