National Park After Dark: "Acadia National Park, Just Skip It!"
ft. Beach Too Sandy, Water Too Wet
Released: April 13, 2026
Episode Overview
In this playful and hilarious crossover, Danielle and Cassie of National Park After Dark are joined by Xandy and Christine from the comedy review podcast Beach Too Sandy, Water Too Wet. The four hosts revisit a beloved episode format: reading and riffing on the worst online reviews of a national park—in this case, Acadia National Park in Maine.
While they all share affection for public lands, this episode’s purpose is pure comedic catharsis, poking fun at outrageous, overblown complaints travelers have left about one of the country’s most picturesque parks. The episode moves through Acadia’s main attractions—historic hotels, sunrise views, restaurants, iconic hikes, and wildlife cruises—sharing actual reviews and interspersing them with stories from the hosts’ own travel mishaps and adventures. If you’re a fan of national parks, irreverent humor, or seeing entitled traveler expectations hilariously punctured, this one’s for you.
Key Discussion Points & Insights
1. Welcoming the Guests & Setting the Scene
[01:38–04:19]
- Danielle and Cassie introduce Xandy and Christine as inspirations for the review-driven format.
- Banter about previous episodes, mutual fandom, and the joys of lampooning “bad” park reviews.
- Acadia National Park is dear to the hosts but is placed in the comedic firing line for the episode.
2. What & Where Is Acadia National Park?
[06:24–07:16]
- Quick primer: Maine's only national park; famed for dramatic coastline, pines, and Cadillac Mountain—the first sunrise on the east coast.
- Hosts recall driving for hours, foggy sunrise attempts, and the park’s unique blend of mountains and ocean.
Memorable Moment
“We got up at 3am. … It was so foggy, we didn’t get a view…we just stood there. …We should write a bad review.” —Cassie, [07:18]
3. The Ghost Tour Debacle
[09:55–16:14]
- The first “must-do” is a Bar Harbor ghost tour, but the review is a two-star trashing.
- Complaints include endless history lectures, boring storytelling, “fake-looking” ghost photos, and a general lack of atmosphere—aside from the “wonderfully spooky” weather.
- Discussion of expectations: Do people want history or just scares? The hosts recount their own weirdest ghost tour, led by a man appearing from the bushes, sharing only his "feelings"; “Who the is Mary?”
Notable Quote
“My tip? Don’t show these photos to groups—most giggled at these photos because they are so obviously not ghosts. The most egregious picture is just a blurry photo of a man in modern-day clothing with a crew cut.” —Christine, Reading “Sean’s” Review, [13:08]
4. Hotel Horrors: The Inn at Bay Ledge
[20:37–30:13]
- Hosts read a (very) detailed, one-star review from an intrepid, well-traveled elderly couple. Their complaints: a musty cabin, an intermittently running toilet, lack of help from the owner (who eventually yells “You broke it!”), and being handed a filthy bucket for flushing the toilet.
- The review paints a picture of a surreal, escalating guest/host showdown.
- Banter about the “traveler’s flex” (Middle East! Japan! Camping!), horror commiseration about national park bathrooms, and notes that the inn is now under new (sadly, less exciting) management.
Notable Quote
“He screamed at the top of his lungs over and over, ‘You broke it! I had it fixed and you broke it!’” —Danielle, Reading Review, [24:10]
5. Jordan Pond & the Popover Scandal
[33:54–44:20]
- Introduction to the Jordan Pond House: a gorgeous, historic restaurant overlooking the water, famous for popovers and “fancy” tea service.
- Hilarious confusion about what a popover really is (“Is it just a flavorless Dutch baby pancake molded into a hollow muffin?”), and the importance of “proper” jam.
- One review calls the popovers “the biggest food scam in America…if not the universe,” accuses satisfied customers of being “lulled by the view,” and laments the “$14 for 50 cents worth of food.”
- The group disputes claims that only “Smuckers” jam is served, share their own visits, and rib people for being mad about bees on the lawn: “My favorite thing is people complaining about nature in nature.”
Quote
“Do yourself, your family, and your wallet a favor and skip this experience entirely. …Popovers and Tea at Jordan Pond House may be the biggest food scam in America, if not the universe.” —D, Reading “CardioMD22’s” Review, [40:00]
6. Cadillac Mountain: A Foggy Disappointment
[45:35–50:15]
- Cadillac Mountain is one of the park’s highlights, known for its epic sunrise views—but reviews are largely colored by weather luck and hype.
- A complaint: “It was some views, but I didn’t see anything that breathtaking or unbelievable. Just kind of meh.”
- Host insight: crowds and parking challenges affect perception, and some reviewers seem determined to be underwhelmed.
Quote
“I won’t say don’t go, because if you don’t you’ll just be wondering what you missed—but don’t expect much.” —Cassie, Reading Review, [48:44]
7. Thunder Hole: Where Is the Thunder?
[51:00–54:14]
- Thunder Hole, famed for dramatic tide surges and booming sounds, gets two reviews:
- “Instead, I got a polite burp from the sea and a light misting.”
- “There is no thunder and definitely no hole. LOL.”
- Banter about expectations—Poseidon’s “fury” vs. the whims of nature—and reminders that timing is everything.
Quote
“Visited Thunderhole with high hopes of being dramatically drenched by ocean fury and deafened by nature's subwoofer...Instead, I got a polite burp from the sea and a light misting. Like Poseidon sneezed politely and said, 'Pardon me.'” —E, Reading Review, [52:03]
8. Carriage Roads: E-Bike Envy, Angry Cyclists, and Rampaging Horses
[54:14–62:14]
- Acadia’s Rockefeller-built carriage roads offer idyllic, car-free biking, horse rides, and walks.
- Reviewer complaints: “Boring—just trees,” “long uphills and long downhills,” and (the clincher) “my wife almost got stampeded by a horse,” leading to conclusions about the “entitled equestrian crowd.”
- Hosts discuss the shock of people expecting ocean views everywhere, laugh about equestrian subcultures, and point out, “They’re just mad to be outside.”
Quote
“The reckless equestrian was a guide on horseback who was in front of a horse-drawn wagon...In sum, I would say the equestrian crowd at Acadia seems rather entitled.” —C, Reading “Cynthia321’s” Review, [59:21]
9. Beehive Trail: Acrophobia & Iron Rungs
[62:22–72:36]
- The Beehive Trail: short, steep, technical, and lined with iron ladders. Famous for traffic jams and triggering acrophobia.
- Review details: climbers panicking, unable to turn back, imagining the “physics of bouncing off the rocks,” and contemplating helicopter rescue—even referencing the viral video of a spinning rescue basket.
- Discussion dwells on the appropriateness of comparing the trail to a via ferrata: “A mini via ferrata? I disagree...”
- Hosts stress warnings are posted, but also: “Kids have no fear; they’re built different.”
Quote
“…If you’re uncomfortable with the idea that just one small slip could mean serious injury or death, then exercise caution. Your 10-year-old might slip and die.” —D, Reading “Ryan K”’s Review, [71:37]
10. Whale Watches & Puffin Cruises: Seasickness Misery
[73:06–80:58]
- Reviews skew dramatic. “Bar harbor whale watch tour: Do not go on this tour!” “The boat goes at insane speed—over 50% of the passengers were vomiting on the floor, into bags, and off the side.”
- Hosts debate the accuracy of such numbers (“If there were 100 people, that’s wild!”), relate personal seasickness stories—plus a harrowing group trip to a South African seal colony where they were nearly beached in a storm.
- Another review blasts an employee for (appropriately) yelling at someone for standing on a seat and leaning overboard.
- Closing consensus: sometimes the danger is real, sometimes people are being entitled (and reviews can be salty regardless).
Quote
“All of this horror for 20 minutes of apparent whale watching…not one person on the boat appeared to be having a good time, except the guy driving it.” —B, Reading Review, [77:36]
11. Wrapping Up: Why People’s Complaints Are (Usually) Ridiculous
[91:27–97:12]
- The Beach Too Sandy, Water Too Wet hosts share favorite topics (dude ranches, wedding photos amidst swarms of bugs, outdoor review lunacy).
- Hosts talk about their ongoing quest to spot moose in New England (“Moose aren’t real!”) and reflect on what really defines travel “horror stories.”
- “Any outdoor [reviews] really do always present some challenges for humanity.”
Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments
On Ghost Tours:
“If I could offer some advice on how to run this tour…the ghost story should be snappy and fast-paced and full of scares. Don’t show us obviously fake ghost photos—a blurry photo of a man with a crew cut!” —Christine, [13:08]
Hotel Suffering:
“I am a widely traveled 79-year-old woman…We have never had an experience quite like the horrible one we had at the Inn at Bay Ledge.” —C, Reading, [21:04]
Restaurant Scams:
“Popovers and Tea at Jordan Pond House may be the biggest food scam in America, if not the universe.” —D, [40:00]
On Nature in Nature:
“My favorite thing is people complaining about nature in nature.” —C, [45:08]
On the Carriage Roads:
“Avoid the bike ride unless you want a vacation exercise workout where you occasionally see an inland lake and never get a glimpse of the ocean.” —C, Reading, [61:17]
On the Beehive Trail:
“After what was one of the most terrifying experiences of my life, I made it to the top. The views are beautiful, but I was a shaky, sweaty mess.” —D, [70:53]
Timestamps for Important Segments
- [01:38] Welcome & Setup
- [06:24] Acadia Overview
- [09:55] Ghost Tours & Haunted History
- [20:37] Hotel Horror Story
- [33:54] Jordan Pond & Popovers
- [45:35] Cadillac Mountain Fog
- [51:00] Thunder Hole Disappointment
- [54:14] Carriage Roads & Cyclists vs. Horses
- [62:22] Beehive Trail Panic
- [73:06] Whale Watches & Puffin Cruises
- [91:27] Moose Sightings & Outdoors Reviews
- [92:36] Beach Too Sandy, Water Too Wet: Where to Find Them
Episode Tone & Language
- Playful, irreverent, and rich with anecdotes—Hosts often slip into laughter, share their own travel disasters, and channel the over-the-top dramatics of unhappy reviewers.
- Relatable, with regional and travel insider knowledge—Fun for national park nerds and fans of ironic, tongue-in-cheek commentary on “first-world problems” in the great outdoors.
- Authentic and unsparing in poking fun at themselves and others—No one is safe from a little gentle mockery, including the hosts.
Summary Takeaway
If you need a dose of laughter at the expense of irate, entitled, or just unlucky national park visitors—and experts who truly know and love these places—the “Acadia National Park, Just Skip It!” episode is a treat. It’s a celebration of how travel never goes as planned—and an invitation to embrace the unexpected (including faulty toilets, popover letdowns, crabby horses, and the ever-elusive moose).
Final verdict: You may end up even more determined to visit Acadia—just maybe with lower expectations for Smuckers, sunrises, and bucket-based plumbing.
