
Hosted by Joanne Secky · EN

Dr. Kerry McAvoy and Joanne close the week by dissecting why emotionally immature or narcissistic people can appear magnetic at first. They explore the difference between confidence and arrogance — and why confidence does not automatically equal competence.They talk about “future faking,” control disguised as transparency, and early boundary tests that often get dismissed as harmless immaturity. Kerry also references Jennie Young and her book, Burn the Haystack: Decode Dating and dating app red flags that too many people overlook.The episode includes moments that are absurd - like a wig-demand power play — but the underlying message is serious: dangerous patterns are more common than we want to admit. The goal isn’t revenge. It’s indifference, clarity, and freedom from doing unpaid emotional labor for someone else’s identity.

Dr. Kerry McAvoy returns for a grounded, practical conversation about disordered relationship dynamics and the confusion paradox. Kerry shares how she’s evolved her work — from therapy to coaching, to podcasting, weekly livestreams, a tiered membership model, and now an upcoming AI coach app called Reclaim You.Together, they unpack why survivors of disordered relationships assume everything is their fault, why some partners actively prefer chaos, and how shame (especially shame tied to perceived status loss) fuels denial, projection, and entitlement.They draw a clear line between therapy and coaching, explaining the licensing constraints that complicate online therapy. But they land on something refreshingly simple: two markers that cut through the fog — respect and reciprocity. If you’re doing all the apologizing and all the emotional labor, it’s not a “communication” issue. It’s imbalance.

Joanne sets the stage for her upcoming conversation with Dr. Kerry McAvoy about what she calls the “confusion paradox” — that disorienting experience of being drawn to emotionally immature or disordered partners and then blaming yourself when everything falls apart.She quickly recaps recent topics — deep brain reorienting, coercive control laws, dissociation, trauma bonding, antisocial vs narcissism distinctions, women’s rage — and introduces Tim’s background in psychology and sports psychology. Tim shares parts of his own story, including childhood trauma and caregiving for his grandmother, and reflects on how younger generations are pushing harder for accountability.The episode blends insight with humor, especially when Joanne riffs on parenting, comedy as emotional release, and a few red flags she can’t believe she once ignored.

This episode is deeply personal and research-heavy at the same time. Joanne explores how long-term psychological abuse can create effects that resemble brain injuries — and why, for people with PTSD, joy may not be able to be sustained.Drawing from research by Kelly Baez, PhD, she explains why joy can trigger anxiety: familiar suffering feels predictable, vulnerability feels dangerous, survivor’s guilt lingers, and unresolved trauma keeps the nervous system on alert. Joanne walks through practical strategies — moments of joy, self-compassion, gradual exposure, reframing beliefs, and support groups — while also reading AI-generated notes on PTSD, anhedonia, and brain reward systems.The conversation expands into frustration with outdated psychological models and newer research suggesting PTSD affects deeper brain regions beyond just the amygdala and hippocampus. Tim jumps in with thoughtful questions about DSM updates and even raises a difficult ethical question: can PTSD alone justify involuntary hospitalization? The episode ends not with certainty, but with honest confusion — and that’s part of the point.

Joanne opens this episode a lil fired up — with a little public service announcement, so to speak. She comments on home equity investment (HEI) companies that may offer homeowners about 25% of their equity upfront with no payments for 10 years… but (likely) require, in addition to payback, another 25% — which can effectively mean taking half of a home’s appreciated value and sometimes forcing a sale. In some states, this model has already been labeled predatory, and Joanne just wanted it disclosed. The conversation pivots to NYAYAM, a very intelligent, AI-powered legal platform Joanne found for a near a statute-of-limitations deadline. She’s impressed by its research, document review, and step-by-step guidance, while also warning AI can be wrong and should be verified. Regardless, it seeks to democratize law. Tim and Joanne discuss AI’s upside and downside (it can reduce thinking skills unless you know how to prompt it), its use in teaching and publishing, and wrap with Joanne previewing a break from podcasting to write more and a quick riff on conscious capitalism in the age of AI.

In this episode, Joanne has a conversation filled with humor and insights about the significant role of beliefs in personal transformations, the weaponization of words across generations, and the humorous synchronicities that life tends to throw our way. Pamela and Joanne discuss topics like the importance of examining situations over people, the power of finding hidden blessings, and the evolving understandings and misunderstandings of terms like empathy and intention between Gen X and Gen Z. They also touch on the challenges men face in estranged relationships and the recent legislative progress in recognizing coercive control as a form of domestic violence/abuse.

In this discussion, Pamela Dussault-Runtagh is still with Joanne, digging into the complex subject of family estrangement. They explore the varying desires and levels of commitment between parents and children from different generations, highlighting the challenges of balancing obligation with the quest for meaningful relationships. Pamela shares insights from her experience with Generation X parents and the unique dynamics they face. Joanne adds her personal experiences, discussing the impact of psychological abuse and the journey towards self-awareness and self healing. Tune in for a heartfelt conversation that emphasizes the need for understanding, patience, and the quest for authenticity in said relationships.

Join Pamela and Joanne for an uproariously candid discussion on rage, estrangement, and what’s in between. Dive into emotions you never thought would, could, and sometimes should, make you laugh. This episode lays a foundation for the hopeful impact of Joanne’s upcoming events titled “Laugh, So I Don’t Die” and the book by the same name. Pamela shares her insights from her Facebook group on coping mechanisms and the intricacies of women's rage. Laugh out loud with Joanne's witty reflections on societal expectations, brain release through humor, and the comedic potential of the so-called 'the-rapists.' This episode promises a roller-coaster ride of catharsis, hilarity, and empowerment.

Pamela and Joanne continue to delve into the complexities of Stockholm Syndrome. They discuss everything from the emotional entanglement between captors and captives in Stockholm to the eerie psychological dance depicted in the movie 'Misery'. The conversation takes a deep dive into the gritty reality of trauma bonding, touching on personal anecdotes, societal expectations, and the harsh power dynamics at play. With Red Head’s typical mix of humor and raw honesty, this episode explores how kindness can become intertwined with abuse, revealing just how profoundly our brains and bodies respond to survival.

In this episode, Joanne welcomes back Pamela Dussault-Runtagh to discuss some hot topics including Pamela’s work with estranged parents and burned out caregivers. The conversation deliberately veers into the topic of the Stockholm Syndrome, particularly focusing on the documentary 'Bad Hostage' which parallels the Patty Hearst case with an incident in Sebastopol, California. They discuss survival instincts, misunderstood terms, and cultural nuances of perceived captor-captive relationships. Listen in for an enlightening discussion that’s as heavy as it is eye-opening.