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You are listening to the Navigating Adult ADHD podcast with your ADHD coach and expert, Xena. Hey, adhd, welcome back to the podcast. So picture this. I had just smashed a workout. Like I killed it, gave it my all. I then had lunch and I was eating my lunch actually on the bed. So I was sitting on the bed eating my lunch and all of a sudden I could barely move. Like I just felt exhausted. I took a long hot shower and I slept for two hours. And that was when I realized that I had hit the wall. This was burnout. So rewind a couple of weeks and I had started this year off with some pretty big projects, some very exciting things. I wanted to complete the emotional regulation course by the end of January. And of course I've got time block blindness, so that didn't quite happen. Going to plan. It was like more like mid, mid February when that actually got completed. But in February I was launching the membership, the Navigating Adult ADHD membership. And I didn't really know quite what was involved in that. And I did start working on that, you know, early, like weeks early. But of course, like these two deadlines like overlapped each other. And I ended up working some six day weeks and some kind of, you know, into the evenings, like working late. Now I love what I do so it doesn't feel like, you know, hard work. Like I work when I'm like excited to work and I want to work and like I would happily sometimes, like I could happily work like a seven day week because I fucking love this shit, right? However, that came back and bit me in the ass. All right, and that's what we're going to talk about today. We are going to talk about burnout. How I hit that again and I didn't see it coming. It was a lot like a slap in the face that I just did not see coming. And I'm going to share with you so much of what I've learned through this experience and what I wished I had known sooner. So we're going to talk about that today. And I also wanted to just let you know if you're enjoying this podcast, if you're loving it, please subscribe. Like subscribe, hit the button so that you get all the episodes every week. But also if you can take a second to leave us a rating and a review, I would be so grateful. It helps other people to find us other ADHD is to join our community and understand, hey, I'm part of that team too, right? So A Friday is one Friday a few weeks ago, I'd gotten up at 6am that day. Like as usual, that's my normal time. I'd been for my walk, right? Like I'm religious about walking 10,000 steps a day because it's, it has so many benefits for me. I started work at 8am I normally work 8 to 4. Like those are my hours. I loved working those hours. And that morning, like I'd run a call inside my membership. I had coached a client, a private client. And then 11am I went into the gym, hit the gym. And as I said, like I kicked ass in the gym. I'd like, felt pretty good. I went pretty hard in that session. And then like all of a sudden I'm just exhausted, right? And I'm, I kind of felt sick. Like I was like, I need to sleep. Like I don't feel like I feel ruined. Like I'm exhausted and I feel kind of ill. Like I just have to sleep. So I took, like I said, I took a long hot shower, slept for a good couple of days. I could have slept days. I slept for a good couple of hours. And it was that weekend that I realized like over that weekend and I just took the whole weekend off and I did like sweet fa, to be honest. I realized, you know what? I think I'm experiencing burnout because this feeling, this exhaustion is just not going away. So how did I get there? Right? Like I said, it felt like it came out of nowhere. But I spent some time this weekend just gone. And I sat down and I journaled on it because I really wanted to learn from it. And there were actually a lot of signs that I had not been paying attention to. And we're going to talk about why that is because one of my favorite topics is interoception, right? It's. It's the sense that helps us know what our body needs when it needs it, right? And that came into play with burnout big time. Right? So we're going to go back to that. But in terms of the signs, like, let me share some of the signs with you. One of the signs that I was heading towards burnout was that I did not want to take a break. Like I said, I was working six day weeks and I would have happily worked like seven day weeks. And there was one week when I did that I actually worked some of the Sunday just to get a few things done. Like I did not want to take a break. Like I was living, eating, breathing my work and because I love what I do and it gives me like I can get into hyper focus so easily. And like, I really enjoy it and I get a lot of dopamine from it, right. It's very easy for me to kind of not notice that I might be working too much. But one of the signs was that I didn't want to take a break. Like, I just wanted to keep going, keep going, keep going, keep going. That was one of the signs. On reflection and of course, working six day weeks, like, that's another sign I'm probably not getting enough rest, enough break. And I was telling one of my friends because she was saying to me that she had hip burnout again. And I was like, yeah, I kind of feel like I'm riding on the verge, right? Like I was saying to her, I feel like I'm riding the edge of burnout. I'm right on the verge, but I'm not dipping in, right. Some of the other signs that I experienced with this burnout were like, everything started to feel harder, but this happened very gradually. So for example, like replying to an email that somebody had sent me just felt like, oh, so hard right now. That's something that's challenging for my brain anyway because it requires all of my executive functions to like, come together and like, you know, work together and what have you. But like, it just felt like such a hard draining task, right? Replying to an email or a text message and another one is washing my hair, right? Like I've said it before on the podcast, I do not like washing my hair. Like, I hate it. Like, that's a sucky job, right? So I'll do it like once a week, sometimes, like every two weeks. I'm pretty sure I had stretched it out to three weeks, right? And it was just like I was thinking about, I was doing it on a Sunday evening and I remember, like, I was just thinking about it all day, just dreading it, right? So when everything feels so much harder than usual, like, that was a sign that, that I might not be getting enough rest. I could be heading towards burnout, right? Another thing for me is I stopped straightening my hair and was very reluctant to put on makeup. Now I love having straight hair. Cause like, I hate having thick, frizzy hair that just annoys me. So I love having it straight and I don't mind straightening it. Cause, like, I'll just watch some Grey's Anatomy while I straighten it. But I had stopped doing that, right? And also, like, with makeup, like, I like to have it on for some of my calls, not all of them, but like, I had really become like, really reluctant to do that, right? And again, these things happen quite gradually, so unless you're looking for them, you may not notice them, right? And it might, like, I'm not saying for you, it's going to be that you stop straightening your hair and you stop putting on makeup, but, like, what are some of the things that make you feel good about you that you might, like, stop doing when you get, you know, too tired, Right? So another one, another sign for me was like getting an email and having the reaction, wait for this. I got this one email, right? And it was such an innocent email. Like, just alerting to me, like, to a mistake I'd made. Totally innocent, right? But the reaction I had is everything. I want to go stock shelves at a supermarket. I'm out, right? Like, that reaction that, like, really extreme reaction, like, like, how good would it be just to stock shelves in a supermarket and not have to worry about anything? Like, I just want that, right? Like, that was a sign, right? Like, another one. And I didn't have that, this specific one, But I have had this in the past, right? Is wanting to get sick. Like, being okay with getting sick, being like, you know what? If I got sick right now, I'd be okay with it because I could quite happily lie in bed and just watch TV all day, right? Like, that's what I've had in the past. Like, wanting to get sick so that you could have a break, right? Another very subtle one is, like, with my safe people. So my partner, M. He's like one of my safe people, right? And we talked about safe people, safe places recently on an episode. But, like, I became more irritable with him Now I'm often irritable. Like, part of my ADHD is to be more irritable than, like, a neurotypical person, right? But, like, more irritable than usual. Like, more than usual, right? Uh, another thing was letting my 10,000 steps a day slide. Like, I would still be going for my walks, but, like, instead of being like, religious about hitting my 10,000, I was like, Ah, eight's enough, right? Nine. Yeah. Nine, three. That's fine, whatever, right? Like, that was something that I have been really diligent on because I know how much it helps me physically, mentally and emotionally to. To walk, right? Like, there's a ton of science behind it and, like, I've just experienced the benefits, but just letting that just like, slow kind of become less and less. The Sunday before I actually hit that burnout, I had visited my mum and had gone around to her place and she was commenting on, like, oh, you seem really, really tired. And I was like, yeah, I am really tired. Like, I feel like I could take a nap today. Like, it's weird, right? And I'm not a person who typically naps. So to hear myself say that out loud, like, that was a warning sign. Like, when I'm talking about wanting to have a nap because I generally don't like them, I don't like how I feel when I wake up. But for me to be like, yeah, I could have a nap today, hello, this is a warning sign. Like, this is an alarm bell. Also, my partner's mum, the Tuesday before I hit the wall, had said to him, not to me, but she commented on how tired I looked. And if I'm looking tired to other people, like, visibly, there's probably a reason for that, right? One other key sign that I am in burnout or heading towards it is when I am not looking forward to the thing that I am most looking forward to this year. Okay, So I have a trip to Hawaii planned later this year, booked. All the things, right? Like, I'm off to Hawaii. Hawaii is one of my most favorite places on the planet. Like, I. I'm so, like, glad to be going. Like, I can't wait. Like, I'm starting to get my excitement back, right? But during, like, the lead up to my burnout, I had stopped thinking about it, stopped caring about it, was very, like, yeah, whatever, kind of towards it. And then when I hit the wall and I. I knew, you know, like, what to look for, I started thinking, well, how do I feel about that trip? And I was like, yeah, yeah, you know, I know I'll enjoy it and what have you. And I was like, oh, my gosh, yes. This is such a repeat of the last time I had burnout. Like, I just wasn't excited about the things I'm usually excited about. And when I first booked this trip and for, like, weeks afterwards, I was so excited, like, making lists and, like, looking at all the things I'm going to do and, like, where I'm staying and all of this, right? And I had just lost that joy in that spark. Like, it just kind of felt like hard work, if anything, another one. And I experienced this again literally just this morning, is feeling instantly and extremely overwhelmed at a comment somebody makes. So a few weeks ago, it's so funny, it was actually in the same place. It was at my Toastmasters meeting, and I was there this morning, right? So a couple of weeks ago, we had this woman come in to Talk about this weekend. And it's called Startup Weekend. And they get people from the community to come together and pitch ideas for, like, startups that would help the community in some way. And she came in and I had already said, hey, I might be interested in helping. And somebody said out loud, like, in front of everyone, yes, Xena, as one of the people who is going to be helping. And in that moment, I was like, oh, my God, what? Like, in that moment. So before I knew, I was like, get a hit burnout. I think I hit it the next day. I just felt instantly and extremely overwhelmed. And I was like, I have to get out of doing that. Like, I just can't. I don't have the energy for that, right? And then this morning, the same person asked me, he's like, are you still doing that thing, right? That startup thing? Are you still helping out with that weekend and, like, providing feedback and judging and whatever, right? And I was like. Like, my body had this extreme react, right? Like, I felt instantly, like, anxious and a tightness in my chest and like, like the rapid breathing. I had this, like, very intense reaction. So overwhelming. And I'd already said no, like, I wasn't doing it, but just the idea of it, right? That really instant, extreme overwhelm reaction. Another sign that I was heading towards burnout. This was an interesting one for me. I hadn't noticed this in the past is I stopped listening so much to podcasts and audiobooks. And I love to learn, right? Like, I'm very curious. Like, so many ADHDers, we enjoy learning, right? But I stopped listening to them because it felt like too much, like too much to have to take in, too much to have to do, to have to, like, think about or absorb or action what I was learning, right? So that was a very fascinating one for me. I really did, like, pull back on those things, which isn't a bad thing, but I just thought was very interesting. One other one that really stood out when I was, like, looking back at the signs is I had this opportunity. Well, actually not really an opportunity. I don't know if that's the right word, but one of my partner's relatives who I had not met before, his auntie, she had come over from Australia, and I'd meet her on FaceTime before, but this was the first time I got to meet her in person. And so she had come round and she was sitting on the couch when she first arrived, so she's a little bit older, so she's sitting on the couch. And I just said, hello. And just chatted a little bit. And then I'd grabbed my work laptop and just had to do some work while we were all sitting there kind of chatting. And then she went away, took the boys, took the kids out and came back. And when she came back, I was sitting on the sofa at this time. And I was sitting on the sofa because I was eating my dinner. And I put my dinner aside, and she came in to say, hey, it was really nice to meet you. Like, and, you know, I'm off now, and all of this when she did that. And I feel, like, a little bit embarrassed to say this, I did not get off the couch to give her a hug or shake her hand or anything. Like, I didn't get off the couch to say goodbye. I just sat there and upon reflection, like, that's not like me. Like, I'm. I'm a very huggy person. Like, I'd hug somebody goodbye, say, hey, it was so lovely to meet you. All of that. Like, I said the right things, but I didn't really do the things that I would like to have done. And that was a really interesting one. Like, I just didn't get off the couch. Like, I just. It's like I couldn't be bothered. I just didn't have the energy. Like, I just didn't care enough in that moment to do that, right? And another sign, which to me, in hindsight now is so obvious, another sign that I was heading towards burnout is so many people commenting to me on just how busy I am, right? Like, I'd be at my Toastmasters meeting, and people are like, wow, like, you've been so busy lately. I've seen all this stuff on social media. You must be so busy. And I was always like, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, I am. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Like, kind of wearing it like a badge of honor, which actually is not a badge of honor that I want to wear, right? My partner said to me, oh, you've had a really busy day today. He said this two days ago. And I was like, no, I had a good day today. It wasn't too busy, right? Like, that's something I'm very mindful of. And I'm going to start reframing because I don't want to be owning that title because I think that that just kind of fuels me heading towards burnout. So, my friends, let me tell you what I have learned. I've learned a shit ton, right? But what? One thing that I found really, really interesting is how interoception plays such a big role in burnout, right? So interoception is that. And I've got a whole podcast on this, right? It's number 76. And it's. It's so worth listening to because it makes sense of so much of our ADHD experience, okay? But interoception effectively is like our internal body sense that helps us know what we need when we need it. We've got the senses, like our hearing. We hear things, we see things, we taste and touch things. We've got those external senses, then we've got some internal body ones, and one of those is called interoception. People with ADHD typically have difficulty reading and interpreting the sense. This is the sense that tells you, hey, your bladder is getting full. You should probably go to the toilet soon. Or it's the sense that tells you, hey, I'm starting to feel really dry in my mouth. I should probably drink some water, right? So we make a lot of jokes about how people with ADHD forget to eat and forget to drink and, you know, don't go toilet until they're absolutely busting, right? But there's a reason for that. And that same sense, that internal body sense, right, Tells us, hey, I'm starting to get physically tired. I could use some sleep. Or, hey, I'm starting to get stressed, right? Like, I'm feeling this tenseness in my shoulders, my neck. I'm starting to breathe a bit quicker. I'm starting to stress a little bit. We could probably, like, go for a walk. We could probably do something now to help, like, you know, pull that back and rein that back in so doesn't hit the fan, right? So this signal in this sense and this ability to kind of be aware of what my body's experiencing, what it needs when it needs it, right? Like, that played such a big role because so many of these subtle little signs, I wasn't reading, I wasn't interpreting, I wasn't really aware of them until, boom, slap in the face, you're burned out. Right? Fascinating to consider. And now, like, since I've kind of sat with this and looked back on, you know, what were the signs, I'm much more aware of, like, what my body's saying. And I'm. I've leaned so much more in towards my capacity, which is something I'm going to talk about in what is helping, okay? So interoception is something I have learned plays a big role in burnout. What else have I learned? I have learned that. And this is a theory, right? I don't. I haven't Looked into the research of this and I haven't seen any research on it, but I, I have a theory that medication may mask or minimize burnout. And when, especially when you're on a, a long acting one, so one that's in your system for the majority of the day. For example, I take my pill like my vivance at about half past six in the morning and it lasts for me right through till sort of, I don't know, like 6, 7, 8, 6 7, 8 ish o', clock, right? Like it lasts a decent portion of the day. So what happens then is like when it wears out of my system is naturally a time where like I would be tired, like I would start, be starting to wind down, etc. Whereas I think if, and like I'm just, you know, this is just a theoretical, an idea, right, that I'm putting out there. I think if I was still taking the short acting, right, and I was taking something that maybe I took it around, you know, eight or nine in the morning and it was out of my system by sort of 12 or 1, then maybe I would experience a different afternoon. Maybe I would experience that tiredness, that onset sooner again. So I'm questioning, right? Like, does my medication possibly minimize or mask the tiredness, the exhaustion or the burnout that is coming? Something just to consider. Another thing that I have learned, and I've learned this one the hard way, my friend, is that we need to rest in proportion to our efforts, okay? So I have been drawing this out on the whiteboard for some of my clients recently, right? So if, for example, like if you picture a really big watermelon, okay, I want you to picture a huge, big watermelon. It's big, right? Very, very big watermelon. And then you've got that in one hand, like if you could hold that, right, You've got this giant big watermelon, right? And then in your other hand I want you to picture like a really tiny little baby apple, one of those cute little baby apples, right? Those two things are very different in size. The watermelon is huge, the apple is tiny, right? What we typically do is we work, we sprint. I call it the sprint. Like we sprint at the watermelon level, but then we only rest at the size of the apple, right? So our rest is so out of proportion to our efforts, to our sprinting, right? And this is why we often get sick when we go on a vacation, right? If you have ever experienced this, I had a terrible time when I came back from Thailand, like, oh my God, it was horrific. The guy was sick and off work for like, I think a week after I got back, I was in bed vomiting, all the things. Horrific, right? But that was the story. I had a lot when I was, you know, working super hard. It's like I would work really long hard hours, constantly thinking about work, work, six day weeks, take work home, all of these things, right? And then I'd go on vacation and my body would actually get to rest and I'd get sick, right? And it's no wonder, given that the amount of rest I had in proportion to the amount of work and effort I was putting in was so out of balance, right? And people often come to me and they say, hey, I want more balance in my life. Like, I really just, I want to have balance, right? And if you imagine like a seesaw, right, and you try and put the watermelon on one end of your seesaw and your tiny little baby apple on the other end, that shit's very out of balance, right? So when it comes to rest and I've learned, I've learned and, and I'm still learning this, right? Like, I think this is a practice. Like, I've learned this one the hard way and I'm still learning it, right? Like, we must rest in proportion to the amount of effort. Like, those two circles have got to be the same, right? It can't be a watermelon and a baby apple. We got to have two watermelons, right? I'm making sense with my fruit examples here. Okay? So again, that has been a huge takeaway. So I want to talk about what is helping, but before I do, I actually had a private client this week who was sharing how she had an experience on the weekend. And I'm not going to use her name, but she had an experience where it was her Saturday, her day off, you know, first day off for the week. And she just had this really intense week. She's had a few, like, really intense, crazy weeks. And Saturday she was out with a friend, and all of a sudden, like, she's out having coffee, she's like, oh, my God, I feel terrible. I have to go home, I don't feel well. Went home, her body was aching. Like, she just was exhausted. She said, I've got to go to sleep. Went to sleep, slept for hours. Like, hours. Woke up late Saturday afternoon and just thought, am I getting sick? Like, what is going on? Like, I could just keep sleeping. And she said to me, like, I could barely open my eyes, right? And I wasn't getting sick. Right. And she had just hit the wall. Like, that was what, burnout, you know, she just hit burnout. That's what it looked like for her. And she shared how, like, normally I'll just go, go, go, then get sick. Right? Maybe you can relate to that. Like that used to be me. Like, go, go, go, go, go, and then get sick and kind of be somewhat relieved. I was sick because I was like, oh, I finally get to rest, but then feel terrible because I was like, oh my God, I should be at work. Right? So it wasn't restful rest. And of course you're sick, so it's nowhere near as restful. So let me share with you what is helping. So I have been in burnout recovery now, I would say three ish weeks. And one thing I have been so mindful of is my capacity and listening to it, right? So for example, like, I walk all of the time. That's one of the things that's definitely helping is walking, right? But I'm walking and if I'm feeling really exhausted, I'll be like, I'm not going to push it on this walk. I'm just going to go slow, right? Like, listening to, like, where is my energy at? Do I feel like I can push this walk and go a little bit quicker or do I really feel like I'm just dawdling and enjoying nature today? Right. Like, listening to my capacity. Do I feel like I can have five client calls today? Do I feel I can have back to back? Or do I need to get in touch with people and say, hey, look, do you have the ability to move this out? Or look, unfortunately I'm not that well at the moment. I'm going to need to reschedule our call. Like, I have moved my calendar around, put way more space in there, right? Like, just been very mindful of what energy I have mentally, emotionally and physically. Right. And I think that those are three different things. The amount of physical energy we have. Like, the other day I had a lot of physical energy, but I had nothing left. Mentally, I was like, this is fascinating. I feel like I could go for a run, but like my brain can't do right now, right? So paying attention physically, mentally, emotionally, do I have the capacity for this? Do I have space in my tank to be able to do that thing? And what else is helping? Naps. I'm not like, I'd say it earlier, I'm not like a fan of naps. I'm not a big napper, but I am all for a nap right now. Because like napping has been helping. Like taking the naps, having a sleep when my body needs a sleep. Giving my body what it's needing and what it's asking for. Going to bed earlier, like, I love to go to bed early, but like even earlier, just doing it. Because like my body needs that. And just listening again to what my body wants and needs. Slow walks, right? Lots of slow walks. Getting out in nature, being in nature. Like I heard somebody talk about forest bathing the other day, like nature bathing. And I was like, I get that, right? Just like sometimes you don't even have to move. You can just like literally I just like to sit on the grass and just like look up at the trees or just lie on the grass, just sit there, play with the grass and just be in nature. Like that, right? Not doing anything, right? Just that at the weekend, actually my partner and I, fortunately, we actually had this pre booked, which was fantastic. Like we went away to like a cabin in the woods. It's one of those cabins, like that's beautiful, got a view of nature, had an outdoor bathtub, right? Lots of like beautiful walks around us. And one of the things that a local had said is like, hey, if you go down to this water tower, walk down here, turn left, there's a little creek there, that's where the locals go swimming, right? And we were like, oh, cool, okay, we love walking. So we went for a walk, had a look and we're like, okay, we'll go for a swim. Didn't realize just how fucking freezing it was gonna be. It's still summer, but let's just say a lake has a different temperature. So it was like a freezing cold river dip. Got out, sort of sat in the sun and that was kind of magic. And then jumped back in and then sat in the sun again and that was kind of magic. So that just felt really, really good, right? And there are so many studies on the benefits of cold water therapy, right? I don't know if it needs to be that cold, but still it was just really soothing, really wholesome, really good. What else is helping? Self compassion. Like, I am not talking to myself like an asshole. I'm just like, girl, you hit the wall. Okay, I got you. Like, let's just, let's just dial it back. What do you need, right? You need a nap. Cool. You need some more space in your calendar? All right, let's make it happen. You've got deadlines. We're going to push those out. Yeah, I do got deadlines, right? Like I have. That was Meant to be happening in March. That is now not happening in March. And I'm looking at April going, April, you're going to be moving into May. May's moving into June. It's just gonna have to work that way. And that's okay, right? Like, I'm just being so kind and compassionate and understanding with myself. Like, I'm treating myself the way that I would like somebody else like, to have taught, taught and treated me when I experienced burnout like, the last time, right? Like, just, hey, it's okay. Like, you have not got a ton of energy right now. Like, let's just do what we can. And like, you know, we're just gonna have to move some things, gonna have to write some apology emails. We're just gonna have to change some stuff around. It's all good. Like, I got you. I'm also spending a lot less time on my phone, on emails and social media, like, deliberately. I have not posted on Instagram since I can't even tell you when. And people are still following me and interacting with shit and DMing me. And it's great. Like, I reply to everybody who messages me, right? Like, if you message me, I love that. I personally always reply. Sometimes you hide in my spam folder. So, like, give me a few days because I'm not great at remembering to look there. But, like, I'm just spending less time on there. Like, it just is not. It's something that can be quite draining, that's all. So I'm very mindful of that. And again, that comes back to listening to capacity. Is it fueling me? Is it training me? Feet in the grass, Literally, like taking my shoes off and just going outside. Like, I'll do this in between calls. Like, I might just take my. Take my slippers off or whatever and just go put my feet in the grass, find a cat to pet, sit in the sun just for a few minutes, right? Like, just so wholesome again. We had that whole outdoor bathtub at the weekend, so that was fantastic. But long hot showers is something that I thoroughly enjoy. That just feels really wholesome, right? Like, again, I see. I keep saying that word wholesome for a reason, right? Because it's like, it's fueling me, it's pouring back into me, getting the sun on my skin, right? The benefits of vitamin D, again, a huge for the production of dopamine, serotonin, all the things, right? But it just feels so good. Things like that. What else is helping to recover from this burnout? Saying no, saying no to a lot of Things. I've been asked to do a lot of things, and I have said no to a lot of things, you know, or I've said, hey, I would love to do that, but I don't have the capacity right now. Like, is that something that we could look at doing later in the year? So, for example, like, I've been asked on a couple of podcasts and just, you know, had some cool opportunities come up, and it's been like, I would love to. I just know right now, with my current capacity, that's not an option for me. Do we have the flexibility to look at that later? Right. Taking a lunch break. You know what helps? Taking a lunch break. Not proud to admit I have worked through every single lunch break kind of ever since I started working for myself. That's not completely true, actually. I, I. The last time I hit burnout, actually, one of the things I got quite good at doing, if I can find my words, is going to the beach and taking a journal and, like, a cup of coffee and just spending some time over there in, like, a break or a lunch kind of time. So that is something I have brought back. Taking a lunch break, okay. Slowing down, letting myself take a break, not working through it. And sometimes I'm still sitting at my computer, but I'm, like, looking at Kmart, and I'm, like, you know, like, looking at other exciting things instead of, you know, what should I be doing for work? What's this? That. Keep working, you know, doing all the things. It's like, no, no, no, no. Taking a lunch break. And especially those breaks where I, like, get away from my desk. That is so wholesome, right? Another thing that was hugely beneficial to burnout recovery and, like, I gained a lot by doing this is getting away from my house, right? So I talked about. We had this cabin in the woods. We had three nights there. You know what that did? It meant I couldn't do, like, I couldn't clean the house. I couldn't, you know, tidy up. I couldn't, you know, wipe down this or do that or move, do whatever the hell needed doing. Like, just being in a different environment was a break, a change of scenery. It was relaxing, right? Like, it. It felt forced me to, like, slow down, read, do less, and that was very good. So that was huge, right? Like, having that ability to be able to just get away. Nature, huge, right? Another thing that definitely helps is leaving behind the shoulds where possible, because I know this one's not necessarily as easy, right? But, like, what I mean is, like, when you're in burnout. It uses so much energy to do something you feel like you should do. Oh, I should do a load of Washington. Like, it's just so draining mentally, emotionally, and physically because of the way we're thinking about it, right? But if we can leave those things, right? Or ask somebody else to help where possible, right? I have lit. Like, I'm gonna be honest with you. I have let my house just get pretty messy and dirty, right? Like, my bathroom right now. I would not show you the state of it. This shower needs a clean, and it's kind of gross. And at the same time, I'm like, that's okay, right? Like, I don't have to show anyone. Like, it'd be different if someone was coming round and, like, you know, they were staying over and using that shower. But this is my en suite bathroom. Like, no one's going in there, right? My partner doesn't care either. And I'm just like, that's okay, because I feel like I should clean the shower, but that's not gonna help me re. Energize and rest and give me what I need right now, right? So little things like that that I can just let go and be okay with, right? That stuff, right? Leaving the shoulds as much as possible, okay. And resting instead. And just one thing that's hugely transformational for me and this, like, this is a difficult one to sometimes get to, but letting myself rest, letting myself do less and not beating myself up for it, not feeling bad for it, and so much of that. Actually, I had a call with somebody yesterday, a new client, and he was asking me, like, how do I rest? And one of the things I said is, like, I've had to change the way I think about rest. He's like, oh, what do you mean? And I was like, well, I used to think, you know, you know, rest is a waste of time. And, like, you know, rest is unproductive. And, like, rest is boring, right? Like, I used to have all of these thoughts. Now I'm like, no, rest is fucking badass, right? Rest is where it's at. Like, me resting allows me to, like, go hard, right? Like, I've changed the way I think about rest. And so I'm not beating myself up, right? Like, I'm really, like, intentional in the way in which I talk to myself about resting and how important it is now and how it doesn't have to look like how everybody else rests. Like, it's just really about listening and learning from myself and my body and what I need, right? So that's huge. Again, that is like letting myself rest, letting myself do less, right? Even like my calendar, my weeks, my work week right now, way less than I have been doing that I typically would do. And that's totally okay. Like, actually, it's fucking awesome, right? Like, it's really good, right? I know that that's a tricky one to get to. This is where I do so much of the mindset work with my clients. Because the way we think, think about resting, the way that we talk to oursel about it, like, that in itself, like, if we're like, you know, I shouldn't be resting, I should be doing this, and I need to clean the house and I should really reply to that text. Oh, like, I haven't done that. That is very draining. Like, that's not restful. Okay. So couple of other things that I just wanted to touch on real quick. Being busy, right? Like, I talked about being busy and how other people were like, referencing me, I must be so busy, et cetera. Being busy is a very familiar feeling, especially for those of us with adhd. We've got busy brains, but he busy bodies, right? Like, we are often quite busy. Being busy is a familiar feeling, right? And familiar equals safe. So what happens when we rest and we slow down? That feels unfamiliar. And what feels unfamiliar to our brain is often perceived as being unsafe. Okay. So it can be a bit of a process to help our nervous system, our brain and our body understand that, hey, this is okay. Yeah, it does feels weird and it's not normal, but it's not dangerous. It's actually quite safe. And you're okay to do it, right? So it's a bit of a process that also, I was getting my dopamine. This is another thing I just want to touch on. I was getting my dopamine from being busy, from being in hyper focus. And then of course, I crashed big time, right? So interesting to see that, like, all of the different places that we can get our dopamine from. So I just want to, like, bring it back for a moment to, you know, the signs, right? The subtle signs that we could be in burnout, right? Like, I'm. For me, you know, I didn't notice until I was in bed, literally, like sleeping for a good couple of hours on a Friday and going, what the heck? Why do I feel so exhausted, right? Do we. Are we taking every weekend off, right? Are you working through the weekends and like, hey, it might be. Not that you're working your. Your 9 to 5 job at the weekends. It Might be that you're no, go, go, go with like all of the school activities, the after school stuff for the kids and running them around to sports and then cleaning the house and like all of the things that have to be done for the family and you're just never stopping, right? Like, are you getting time off at those weekends? Are you able to stop thinking about your work and all the things that have to get done, you know, at some time in the day, right after five, after six, after seven o', clock, like, are you able to stop thinking about that stuff? Right? Again, all of that's going to feel quite unfamiliar and there therefore unsafe. But those are like little, like holes in our bucket, let's say. They are little things that drain our energy, right? When we're constantly go, go, go and constantly thinking about all of the shit that has to get done, should be getting done, all of that, right? Like that's just an energy drain. It's like having a hole in your bucket. So, my friends, I hope this has been helpful. This has been my experience of the recent burnout and my kind of comeback that I'm in at the moment. And I really hope that you're able to reflect. Like, what are some of the signs that you may be ignoring that could be saying, hey, you're heading towards burnout if something doesn't change, right? Do you feel rested? When was the last time that you felt truly rested? And are you pushing yourself past your capacity? Is that something you're doing right? Again, we've got a whole episode on capacity. Highly recommend that you check it out. What number is it? I don't know, 50 something, 60 something, somewhere around there. All right. All right, my friend, huge, huge love to you. Please make sure you are resting and taking care of yourself. All right? I'll speak to you soon. Hey, friend, if you want some more help navigating and thriving with ADHD and some help applying everything that you're learning here on the podcast, then head over to our website, navigating adultadhd.com.