Podcast Summary: Navigating Adult ADHD — Episode #109: "ADHD & the Pain of Boredom"

Host: Xena Jones
Date: April 14, 2025
Theme: Exploring the unique and often painful relationship adults with ADHD have with boredom—and how embracing boredom can lead to creativity, self-discovery, and even joy.

Episode Overview

In this insightful episode, Xena dives deep into the experience of boredom as an adult with ADHD. She unpacks why boredom is not just uncomfortable but can be physically and emotionally painful for those with ADHD. Using personal anecdotes, scientific research, and practical experiments, Xena challenges the narrative that we should always avoid boredom, instead proposing that sitting with it can unlock creativity, resilience, and self-understanding.

Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. The ADHD Brain and Boredom

• High Stimulation Threshold: People with ADHD need more stimulation than neurotypical individuals. Stimulation equals dopamine, which their brains require to stay engaged.
• Boredom as a Symptom: Boredom is not a moral failing, but a literal brain wiring difference.
  • “ADHD brains literally require higher levels of stimulation in order to feel engaged. So it’s not like a moral failing, right? It’s just a literal brain wiring difference.” — Xena (03:30)
• Physical Pain: Research suggests boredom can be physically painful for ADHDers, activating the pain center in the brain.
  • “Research shows that boredom can be physically painful for us ADHDers… it can literally light up the pain center in our brain.” — Xena (04:45)

2. What Boredom Feels Like for Adults with ADHD

• Xena shares quotes from attitude.com:
  • “Boredom is almost painful, like wearing an itchy coat but you can’t scratch.”
  • “I experience boredom as a profound inner restlessness… it’s like that restlessness is crawling under my skin.”
  • (07:10)
• Boredom often manifests as anxiety, restlessness, overwhelm—or even fear.

3. Consequences of the Fear of Boredom

• Negative Behaviors: To escape boredom, ADHDers might:
  • Engage in disruptive behaviors (in class or work).
  • Entertain risky behaviors or even infidelity for stimulation.
  • Increase screen time, leading to isolation or even addiction.
  • Use substances to numb the restlessness.
• Addiction Links: A 2018 study highlights a significant link between ADHD teens and internet addiction, due to the easy stimulation screens provide.
• Memorable Quote:
  “The relentless pursuit of pleasure and avoidance of pain always leads to pain.”
  — Anna Lembke, Dopamine Nation, quoted by Xena (15:40)

4. Personal Anecdotes: The Escape from Boredom

• Xena describes once filling every moment to avoid boredom—always having Netflix on, scrolling during breaks, and avoiding silence.
  • “Because God forbid I had to listen to my own brain, or, you know, I could get bored. I was terrified of having to listen to myself think…” (19:00)
• The avoidance was a way to avoid self-critical thoughts and life’s bigger questions.

5. Reframing Boredom: A Doorway, Not an Enemy

• Boredom as Opportunity: Instead of avoiding boredom, Xena recommends embracing it.
  • Boredom allows for creativity, discovery (especially self-discovery), invention, and resilience.
  • “Sometimes boredom is a good thing… being bored allows us to get creative.” (23:50)
• Project Sunday:
  • Xena’s experiment: No devices (phone/laptop) every Sunday from 9 to 5.
  • Initial response: Filling the day with busy-ness to dodge discomfort.
  • Ongoing journey: Letting herself get bored, leading to journaling, creative projects, reflection, and even simple joy.
• Unexpected Results:
  • At the end of device-free Sundays, she often doesn’t want to return to her phone, having found satisfaction in other experiences.

6. Tangible Benefits of Letting Yourself Get Bored

• Rediscovered old hobbies like painting and drawing.
• Found joy in nature and simple observations.
• Reflected on life, values, and personal growth.
• Built resilience to discomfort and opened space for spontaneous creativity.
  • “Boredom can feel scary as shit, right? But it’s also the doorway to creativity, to reflection, and to this different kind of rest.” (33:25)

7. Practical Advice & Final Invitation

• Think of Boredom as 'Aunt Betty':
  • An unwelcome visitor who eventually leaves—and might bring something interesting.
• Try letting yourself be bored for a few minutes in everyday situations, like waiting rooms or lines.
  • “Remember, just like Aunt Betty, boredom will eventually leave. You don’t have to love it, but it will bring into your life good stories and interesting experiences.” (37:50)
• Xena invites listeners to share their boredom experiences with her on Instagram.

Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• On the Pain of Boredom:
  “Boredom is almost painful, like wearing an itchy coat but you can’t scratch.” (07:10, cited quote)
• On Fighting Boredom:
  “For years, I would actually watch Netflix until I fell asleep.” (02:00)
• On Creative Possibility:
  “Being bored allows us to get creative… an opportunity for discovery, right?” (23:55)
• On Embracing Discomfort:
  “Every single Sunday, I know I’m going to get bored, and I experience resistance and discomfort. But I always get to this place of ease, and find so much joy in the simple things.” (31:30)
• On Realizing Simplicity's Joy:
  “I start looking at a flower and I’m like, man, that’s a beautiful flower.” (32:45)
• On Boredom and Rest:
  “Boredom is temporary, okay? But what comes from allowing ourselves to get bored can be incredibly rewarding.” (33:15)

Timestamps for Key Segments

• [00:03]–[03:30]: Why boredom is especially hard for adults with ADHD—seeking stimulation.
• [04:45]: Boredom can be physically painful; research and firsthand descriptions.
• [07:10]: Quotes describing lived experience of ADHD boredom.
• [09:45]: Consequences of extreme boredom avoidance—risky behaviors, addiction.
• [15:40]: Power of the “relentless pursuit of pleasure” quote; impact on ADHD.
• [19:00]: Personal story: Xena’s frantic efforts to avoid boredom in daily life.
• [23:50]: The reframe: Boredom as opportunity for creativity and resilience.
• [26:10]: Project Sunday experiment—going device-free, dealing with discomfort.
• [31:30]: Surprising enjoyment and peace found in device-free, ‘bored’ time.
• [33:25]: The deeper rest boredom can give; Xena’s challenge to listeners.
• [37:50]: “Aunt Betty” metaphor and invitation to embrace some boredom.

Conclusion: Takeaway for Listeners

Xena challenges the narrative that boredom should be avoided at all costs, especially for adults with ADHD. Instead, she suggests boredom—as uncomfortable as it is—can open the door to creativity, reflection, and genuine rest. Listeners are encouraged to let themselves be a little bored, and to notice the surprising and rewarding experiences that may follow.

“Boredom is a tool that we have access to… you don’t have to love it, but it will bring into your life good stories and interesting experiences.” — Xena (37:50)

Share your own boredom breakthroughs: Connect with Xena on Instagram or visit navigatingadultADHD.com for more coaching resources.