Jamie delivers a BABY!? 👶

Summary

NearlyParents with Jamie Laing & Sophie Habboo

Episode: Jamie delivers a BABY!? 👶
Date: October 12, 2025
JamPot Productions

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Episode Overview

Jamie and Sophie, fresh from a trip to Paris, dive into another unfiltered, hilarious, and frank exploration of their journey to first-time parenthood. This episode stands out for its combination of lighthearted marital banter, wild anecdotes, sincere insights into relationship changes during pregnancy, and a special hands-on segment with midwife Pip, who guides Jamie through a simulated birth on the podcast.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Warm-Up Banter & Relationship Chaos

(03:01 – 07:57)

• Jamie attempts to spell "Nearly Parents" out loud, with Sophie poking fun at his dyslexia and inability to spell.
• Sophie confesses she can't whistle or click her fingers, leading to playful teasing about what traits their baby may or may not inherit.
• Lighthearted digressions about family intelligence, game nights, and the pressure to keep up with clever relatives—"I feel like I want the ground to swallow me up. There's nowhere to hide." – Sophie (07:20)

Notable Quote:

"I'm really a bit worried about our kid at the moment because you can't click, you can't whistle..."
Jamie (06:41)

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2. Pregnancy Woes, Symptom Swaps, and Household Mishaps

(08:33 – 15:46)

• Jamie and Sophie describe the physical and emotional trials of late pregnancy: Sophie's loss of dexterity, Jamie's “tottacolli” neck pain, and nightly struggles to move in bed.
• Sophie shares a vivid story about dropping her breakfast, and Jamie recounts his good-husband scavenger mission for fruit.
• They discuss mutual (and competitive!) complaining about pregnancy pains and household roles, exposing both deep empathy and lighthearted pettiness.

Notable Moments:

• Sophie describes her hip flexor’s failure and the creative acrobatics needed to get out of bed:

  "It’s quite something. It’s like my lever. It’s like my little toy... my hip flexor doesn’t work. It’s gone." (14:12)

• Jamie, about Sympathetic Pregnancy Struggles:

  "My neck hurts. I can't sleep at night on it." (13:27)

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3. Spooky Season Antics & Awkward Encounters

(15:46 – 18:29)

• The couple retell a creepy experience with an elderly neighbour during Halloween season, blurring the line between helping and horror-movie setups.
• Their storytelling is filled with playful dramatization and authentic nervous laughter.

Notable Quote:

"I was freaking out inside. I was terrified. And they said to me, 'Are you scared of me?' And inside I was like, fucking damn right."
Jamie (17:18)

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4. "Mr & Mrs" Game: How Well Do They Know Each Other?

(18:30 – 24:06)

• Each partner quizzes the other on past escapades, embarrassing dating stories, and pregnancy experiences.
• Standout revelations: Jamie lost his virginity in his brother's bed; Sophie broke up with a boyfriend simply because "there were more boys out there."
• Some answers (and the questions themselves) are delightfully TMI—contributors’ realness defines the podcast.

Notable Exchanges:

• On pregnancy discomforts:

  "You don’t like not being able to move—being uncomfortable."
  Jamie (20:54)

• Jamie’s future-dad daydreams:

  "I cannot wait for that moment when I walk into the room and my baby is there with their hands on the cot, excited to see me." (23:13)

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5. Listeners’ Messages: Hilarious Overshares & Heartwarming Stories

(26:40 – 31:09)

• Anonymous listener relays an epic smear-test misunderstanding:

  "[The consultant’s] head basically in my undercarriage, I naturally assumed he was asking whether my baby physically exited via this route..." (27:03)

• Aiden’s chocolate-on-the-chest seduction gone wrong:

  "Instead of pouncing on me... she burst out crying. Turns out she was upset that I had wasted her chocolate!” (28:12)

• Chloe shares an IVF and pregnancy victory after family loss—a moving testament to hope and resilience.

Notable Quote:

"These messages make me howl, they make me laugh, they make everyone laugh. We love all the messages in our inbox."
Jamie (30:54)

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6. Pip the Midwife: Birth Preparation & Simulation

(32:00 – 43:30)

Introduction & Role Explanation

• Pip introduces herself and outlines a midwife’s support role throughout pregnancy and birth. She highlights the loss of continuity in modern midwifery but reassures:

  “I like to think we still have the skill of bonding with women very quickly..." (32:10)

Birth Plans & Communication Advice

• Pip counsels against a rigid birth “plan”; instead, she advocates for exploring different scenarios, especially those that scare you.

  "If there’s something that you’re like, 'we really don’t want X, Y, Z,' actually, they’re the things that we need to talk about... and make plans for." (34:29)

Debunking the ‘Hospital Panic’ Myth

• Pip stresses: “The vast majority of time, you have got time. Babies don't tend to just, like, fall out.” (35:47)
• Keep calm and avoid panicked hospital dashes—panic raises adrenaline and can slow labor.

Birth Support: The Partner’s Role

• Jamie is surprised to learn he can get into the birthing pool if Sophie wants, but Pip warns of “poop scoops” and the reality of water births (33:38).
• Good partner support: read cues, don’t default to clichés. Counting contractions to help focus through pain is a practical tip (38:25).

Hands-On Birth Simulation

• Pip walks Jamie (and Sophie) through a staged delivery using a torso and vaginal model—hilarity and genuine awe ensue.
• Jamie guides a plastic baby out (with much assistance), as Sophie and producer Magda “push”.
• Reaction:

  "That is the most wild experience I've ever seen in my life."
  Jamie (42:44)
  "It’s quite like jarring in a way to see that up close."
  Sophie (42:48)

Postpartum Intimacy & Recovery

• Pip demystifies postpartum sex:

  “Typically, you want to stop bleeding, which can take up to around six weeks... But the vast majority of women are like, do not come near me. It’s often much longer.” (39:32)

Top Pregnancy Tip from Pip:

“Anything you’re fearful of... get support and unpick so that you can have a birth that really is positive and empowering. It does change you forever.” (43:08)

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7. Weird Pregnancy Tip of the Week

(43:52 – 44:13)

• Listener suggests keeping a bar of soap under your sheet to ease pregnancy cramps—nonmedical, but earnestly shared.
• Sophie adds her own experiment: “I lift my stomach up when I pee now and it really helps.” (44:09)

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Memorable Quotes

On Relationship Quirks and Expectations

• "You levered your body off me on my tummy... That really upset me."
  Sophie (10:47)
• "If a whale had legs... I'm so slow, like the limbs aren't working; it's very odd."
  Sophie (15:22)

On Parent Preparedness

• "Do I think you're really ready to be a dad?... Yeah, 100%."
  Sophie (23:59)

On Birth Simulation

• "Just breathe honey. Imagine you’re blowing out birthday candles..."
  Pip (41:24)
• "Beautiful. Baby's coming now, Sophie!"
  Pip (42:28)

On The Power of Community

• "We love these messages. They make me howl, they make everyone laugh. Please keep sending them in!"
  Jamie (30:54)

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Timestamps for Key Segments

• Opening Banter & Whistling: 03:01 – 07:57
• Pregnancy Complaints & Symptom Sharing: 08:33 – 15:46
• Halloween Story & Spooky Neighbour: 15:46 – 18:29
• Mr & Mrs Game: 18:30 – 24:06
• Listener Messages: 26:40 – 31:09
• Midwife Pip Interview & Birth Simulation: 32:00 – 43:30
• Weird Pregnancy Tip: 43:52 – 44:13

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Final Thoughts

“Jamie delivers a BABY!?” is quintessential NearlyParents: revealing, hysterical, uninhibited, but grounded in genuine curiosity about pregnancy and parenting. The episode’s highlight—Jamie’s “birth”—is both comic and informative, while Pip’s expert advice offers comfort and clarity to expectant parents.

Listeners come away feeling not only entertained, but more prepared and less alone for all the strange, exciting, and sometimes downright awkward challenges ahead.

Transcript

[Jamie Lang]

Ladies and gentlemen, welcome back to Nearly Paris podcast with me, Jamie, and my wonderful wife, Sophie. That's her speaking over there on the beautiful menu today.

[Sophie Lang]

We just got back from Paris.

[Jamie Lang]

I am whimpering in the night and getting no sympathy for it.

[Sophie Lang]

We have a midwife on who gives birth on the podcast.

[Jamie Lang]

Yeah, literally. And a witch is our neighbor. Ooh, spooky season. Get ready for that. Remember to subscribe to the show and enjoy this episode of of Nearly Parents. Did I talk too much?

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[Sophie Lang]

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[Pip (Midwife)]

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[Sophie Lang]

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[Sophie Lang]

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[Ad Voice 1]

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[Pip (Midwife)]

False.

[Sophie Lang]

True.

[Ad Voice 1]

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[Sophie Lang]

False.

[Ad Voice 3]

That's gotta be true again.

[Ad Voice 1]

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[Sophie Lang]

Sounds too good to be true. So true.

[Ad Voice 1]

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[Jamie Lang]

Hello, I'm Jamie Lang.

[Pip (Midwife)]

And I'm Sophie Lang.

[Jamie Lang]

And we've been married for two years.

[Sophie Lang]

And we're having a baby.

[Jamie Lang]

Yes, we are.

[Pip (Midwife)]

Are you ready?

[Jamie Lang]

Let's go. Well, welcome back to Nearly Parents. That's N E A R L Y P A R E N T S.

[Sophie Lang]

I'm so surprised that you got even near Right.

[Jamie Lang]

Why are you surprised how I just spelt nearly parents?

[Sophie Lang]

Because you. You can't spell my love.

[Jamie Lang]

Okay, okay. There's a few things, by the way. I can't wait to get into it, guys. Turns out Sophie can't whistle. Bitches.

[Sophie Lang]

Hang on a sec.

[Jamie Lang]

Mental.

[Sophie Lang]

No, hang on a second. You can't ask everyone in the room. Can you all whistle? I actually can't whistle. Mada. I knew I wouldn't try.

[Jamie Lang]

And Magda, you can't whistle either.

[Sophie Lang]

No, Loads of people can't. It's a common thing.

[Jamie Lang]

Okay, try and whistle.

[Sophie Lang]

Go on. People can spell. Lamp.

[Jamie Lang]

Okay, okay.

[Sophie Lang]

Okay.

[Pip (Midwife)]

Ready?

[Sophie Lang]

You said I breathe in. I suck in.

[Jamie Lang]

No, do this. So make a little. Like it's a tiny little butthole. And then.

[Sophie Lang]

I've never been able to. And I'll tell you one more time. I'll tell you another thing. I couldn't. I couldn't I light a lighter until last year.

[Jamie Lang]

What's wrong with you?

[Sophie Lang]

I was so scared I was gonna buy my hands. The same with those sprinklers. You know, everyone's wedding. Like we went to my best friend's wedding.

[Jamie Lang]

What did you just call it?

[Sophie Lang]

Sparklers. Sprinklers.

[Jamie Lang]

You just called it a sprinkler.

[Sophie Lang]

Those sparklers are the most terrifying things that have ever graced his back. Why? Why do we want to hold a stick that is burning down to our hands and it's spitting far at all of us.

[Pip (Midwife)]

Can we actually.

[Jamie Lang]

Quite scary.

[Sophie Lang]

I know. I actually do need to just caveat.

[Jamie Lang]

And then the hottest thing in the world.

[Sophie Lang]

I need to just caveat and tell the story about Chrissy's wedding. So we're at my best friend's wedding last year and it's in Rome and it's amazing. She cutting the cake and everyone gets these sparklers that I hate. So I'm standing back because they are a safety hazard. And I'm watching from afar and I see my sister's husband go, Tom Barry. He's been on the podcast you all know and love him. And he's like, oh. Oh, George. George. Is my hair all right? Is my hair on fire? He has burned. Someone has dropped a sparkler. And there is a clump, a ball patch this big on his hair.

[Jamie Lang]

It was the funniest thing. There was a guest at the wedding. There was a guest at the wedding. It was actually the funniest thing. She was good vibe. But you know when someone gets a little bit too overexcited.

[Sophie Lang]

She fell over, bless her. And not and broke her chin.

[Jamie Lang]

No, she fell over and she got back up and she went, ah, is everything. She was American. She went, is everything all right? And I looked and her tooth was missing. And her tooth.

[Sophie Lang]

And so then. And because we were in Rome and, you know, the floor's like lovely white pebbles, right? It's tiny white pebbles. So you suddenly see her, bless her with her camera, like, looking on the floor for her tooth, trying to find the tooth in the pebbles.

[Jamie Lang]

And it wasn't a side one.

[Sophie Lang]

I know, but I think she found it.

[Jamie Lang]

What the fuck is that gonna do? Shove it back in.

[Sophie Lang]

Yeah.

[Jamie Lang]

No, honey, it's gone. Your tooth comes out. It's, like, gone.

[Sophie Lang]

I'll tell you another story about tooth. My dad's friend. Oh, my neck swallowed her veneer whilst eating something. Swallowed her veneer. She waited three days, pooped it out, was in on holiday, she came to dinner, she had it stuck in her tooth. She told the story, I said, but what's the one stuck in your teeth? She went. She washed it, pooped out, stuck it back in with glue.

[Jamie Lang]

She shat out her veneer.

[Sophie Lang]

Yeah.

[Jamie Lang]

And then put it back in her mouth.

[Sophie Lang]

Yeah. Scarred into my memory. We took a little tangent back on the road.

[Jamie Lang]

You can't whistle, which is.

[Sophie Lang]

I also used to not be able to whistle. My God, our kid. I'm so sorry. So sorry. You chose to have babies, but you also can't. Can't click. I used to not be able to click.

[Jamie Lang]

Our kid. I'm. I'm really. I'm really a bit worried about our kid at the moment because you can't click. You can't whistle. You can't.

[Sophie Lang]

I'm amazing acting.

[Jamie Lang]

Okay, you can act. I can't spell.

[Sophie Lang]

I'm really good speller. Awful at maths.

[Jamie Lang]

I think you're smarter than me.

[Sophie Lang]

I'll tell you something else about the Langs, right? They're all very smart. Like, I don't know where you fell from, but, like, Penny is incredibly smart.

[Jamie Lang]

My mum is very smart. She went to mentor. She was part of Mentor.

[Sophie Lang]

She's so clever. And they all like to do the crossword, and they all like to play Zippy or whatever stinking games is Linky. And honestly, when those games or those crosswords get pulled out, I feel like I want the ground to swallow me up. There's nowhere to hide. And you, you always go, oh, Sophie, she'll know the answer to that one.

[Jamie Lang]

Trying to get you involved, honey.

[Sophie Lang]

Well, obviously I won't. I remember what happened in 1920s to some weird historian.

[Jamie Lang]

What are you talking about?

[Sophie Lang]

That's what you always ask me.

[Jamie Lang]

Okay, let's just do. Let's just test your knowledge very quickly. We're gonna do a quick math test, okay? Because I. I'm just. I want to make sure that our baby is going to be good at maths. Don't get your calculator.

[Sophie Lang]

I'm getting my calculator.

[Jamie Lang]

Put your phone down. Question number one. What is two times two?

[Sophie Lang]

Four.

[Jamie Lang]

14 plus six divided by five.

[Sophie Lang]

Five.

[Jamie Lang]

No.

[Sophie Lang]

Yes. Oh, no, it's not five.

[Pip (Midwife)]

20 divided by five.

[Sophie Lang]

What's that? Okay, cut this out. I'm so bored. I really don't. You're, like, brain shaming me. It's so embarrassing.

[Jamie Lang]

Last one, last one.

[Sophie Lang]

All right, last one.

[Jamie Lang]

Seven sevens.

[Sophie Lang]

Jamie, I don't want to do it. I don't. It's been so long. So long since I've had to do any maths. That's what accountants are for. Just leave me alone.

[Jamie Lang]

We were in Paris on the weekend, which was a lovely time. We had a wonderful time. And Sophie found out, because I'm heavily dyslexic, that I actually spell words in my head, not the way everyone else spells it. So if you were to spell Sophie, you would spell it. S, O, P, H, I, E. And.

[Sophie Lang]

How do you spell it in my.

[Jamie Lang]

Head when I'm spelling things I or P? Huh? I.

[Sophie Lang]

Is everyone just gasping, or is it just me? Because I think it is the. Can I just say. I don't actually. It was so long ago, Penny.

[Jamie Lang]

Puh.

[Ad Voice 2]

Eh.

[Jamie Lang]

Nuh. Nuh. Yeah.

[Sophie Lang]

It's a challenge in itself that you know the Alphabet in that lingo.

[Jamie Lang]

Give me a word and I'll spell it.

[Sophie Lang]

But you can't be serious. I genuinely don't think I believe it. Sarah.

[Jamie Lang]

Sarah. Aha.

[Sophie Lang]

It's so impressive. Like, I have to be like, sir. Because it's so. Like, it's ingrained in me to say S. Like, I can't think what that lingo was like. Did we even. Were we three when we knew that those terms, like, at what age? For some reason, it's easier for me.

[Jamie Lang]

Abacurda. Effigy.

[Sophie Lang]

No, I don't think. Like, my school never taught us that. I think that was, like, preschool. Your parents would, like, teach it to you at, like, Bella's age. And then what? By the time you got to school, you were, like, learning A, B, C, D, E, F, G. Oh, God.

[Jamie Lang]

It's just too good. By the way, ladies and gentlemen, I have a very sore neck at the moment, and my wife is giving Me. No sympathy whatsoever. Actually, don't roll your eyes. I'm really.

[Sophie Lang]

I'm really sorry. But I will just say that I just find the level of complaining and the level of window.

[Jamie Lang]

Oh, my God.

[Sophie Lang]

And the thing is, right, if I complain from you, right, Jamie, you made fun of me because I can't bend over. So when I bend over, everything falls over and I smash things and it's a fucking disaster. But I don't want to ask for help the whole time because I'm a strong, independent woman. And you go, oh, Sophie, oh, what are you doing?

[Jamie Lang]

I do not do that.

[Sophie Lang]

Do. You're like, what are you doing? Just ask me if you can't bend over. I'm like, well, sorry that I'm carrying your baby inside me and I can't bend over.

[Jamie Lang]

That is not true. And that is not fair, my darling.

[Sophie Lang]

And then the second thing that Jamie did is he lent on my stomach.

[Jamie Lang]

Baby, no, no. This is so unfair.

[Sophie Lang]

And I thought, that's not a ledge and it's not a pillow. It's a baby in there. And you are leaning on my stomach to bend over.

[Jamie Lang]

I rested my hand on your tummy to give you a kiss. That's what I did.

[Sophie Lang]

You levered your body off me on my tummy.

[Jamie Lang]

Someone's really stored that in their mind. That wasn't brushed under the carpet and forgotten.

[Sophie Lang]

That really upset me.

[Jamie Lang]

That really upset you, didn't it?

[Sophie Lang]

Absolutely.

[Jamie Lang]

Well, okay, we'll park my neck for a second. But this is what I have to deal with this morning. I'm upstairs doing my morning routine. I'm brushing my teeth. I'm having a lovely time. I hear smash. I'm like, what the. I run downstairs. Sophie's dropped her whole bowl of fruit and yogurt on the ground and is just staring it and going, uh, oh, I'm devastated.

[Sophie Lang]

Cause it was the last bit of fruit in our fridge and I was ragingly hungry.

[Jamie Lang]

And instead of just going, oh, God, I've made. You know, sorry, everyone. She gets angry at the fact that she's dropped the bowl. So then she's angry at me because she's dropped her bowl with yogurt on it. So what do I do as a good husband? I leave the house. I walk round the corner.

[Sophie Lang]

I go and find you another two minutes away.

[Jamie Lang]

I go and get you another kiwi. Cause you love your kiwis. I go and get you a lovely melon. That's what I do. I bring it back, I chop it up for you.

[Sophie Lang]

I put it in.

[Jamie Lang]

I Didn't that.

[Sophie Lang]

You didn't chop it up?

[Jamie Lang]

I did not chop it up, but I bring it back and I give it to you as a loving husband would do.

[Sophie Lang]

I asked you to do it. Yes, that is true. Because I would have been really hungry right now in this podcast had I not eaten that.

[Jamie Lang]

So when I have something called totta coli, I have this thing, guys, called tottecoli in my neck.

[Sophie Lang]

And it's Italian.

[Jamie Lang]

No, it's not an Italian pasta. It's not. It's called tottacolli. And basically you have two muscles going either side of your neck from your ear down to your shoulder. And. And for whatever reason, stress, sleeping on it.

[Sophie Lang]

Wrong.

[Jamie Lang]

Whatever happened, the whole thing seized and it became really painful, and it starts to spasm. And it was spasming so much that I actually was, like, in a real bad place. Sophie didn't help me one bit.

[Sophie Lang]

Guys, when I tell you this guy is screaming in pain like that, and I say, we need to probably go to a medical place of some sort. No, no. What does this boy want to do? He wants to game all day with that pain, and you game in silence. But when I come down, the screaming starts again. So, yes, I am finding it irritating. I said, just get your ass in a car and go to a hospital.

[Jamie Lang]

And I went to the hospital.

[Sophie Lang]

Yeah.

[Jamie Lang]

And they injected me and gave me some sort of other thing to take, and it felt better, but it was very, very painful.

[Sophie Lang]

Is it still painful?

[Jamie Lang]

Honey, it's so painful. I can't sleep at night on it.

[Sophie Lang]

You're snoring, and you're also whimpering the whole way through the night. And I'm like, are you okay? Oh, last night, what happened, guys? I'm real big, and when I have to get out of bed, it's a whole thing. I have to. I have to lift this leg up because my hip flexor's gone. That's how I have to move at this point because the pressure from. I have to lift my leg up like a lever because the hip flexor won't move. It's completely broken.

[Jamie Lang]

Sophia has to do this in bed. She went, watch this, Jamie. This is how I get out of bed. She lifts her leg up in the air and uses it as a pendulum to then throw it over the bed. And the weight of her leg propels her upwards.

[Sophie Lang]

It's really. It's quite something. It's like my lever. It's like my little toy. But also, I can't. Like, right now, my brain is saying, uncross your Leg, but it doesn't work anymore. The hip flexor doesn't work. I went to the Austrian Health yesterday. It fully. It's gone. It doesn't. It's not connected. So I.

[Jamie Lang]

You're a lie. You can.

[Sophie Lang]

I can't.

[Jamie Lang]

Try and lift your leg up.

[Sophie Lang]

I swear to you, it just doesn't work. It's dead leg. Right. I don't know how the hip flex is going to come out. So what I do is I have to do that. And so Jamie is doing, saying. Stands up, staring into the space like a freak in the night. And I said, what are you doing? He said, I can't pick up my pillow. Why? Because your waist works, your hips work. Why can't you bend to pick up your pillow? So what do I have to leave on my pillow?

[Jamie Lang]

This is 3am in the morning.

[Sophie Lang]

Walk all the way around the side of the bed, get his stinking pillow, put it on the bed. That's a good wife.

[Jamie Lang]

Sophie said when we were walking down the street and I was holding her arm in arm, she said, it's like you're herding a cow. The things you're coming up with at the moment are really making me. You're in your funny era. Even though you're always funny, you are making me die with laughter at the moment.

[Sophie Lang]

It's quite funny, the body in this stage, because you're like really like a walking whale. If a whale had legs in the sense, like, it's not like necessarily like the size that. Yes, there's a big bump, but like, this is the slowness my body moves. It's like. It's almost comical. Like I'm. It's like a snail. Like, I'm so slow. Like the limbs aren't working. It's very odd.

[Jamie Lang]

So if he's been. We've been listening to this horror tape, which I don't understand why we're listening to it, because it's actually the most terrifying thing I've ever listened to, ever.

[Sophie Lang]

Guys, honestly, if you want a frightening read, teacher, really fucking scary. And then if you want a really scary one, War D. Frieda McFarlane. Wow.

[Jamie Lang]

But we also, guys, had another really scary thing happen to us. And because it's Halloween month, maybe this is why it's happening. We were walking down the street together in London, and there was this old person standing outside her house. And as we walked past. I know where this is what happened. We walked past and this person said, hello. And I went, oh, God. I went, hi. And they went, can you help me with My food. And I went, of course I can help you. I'm a good citizen. Of course I'm gonna help someone. So I brought it up to the top of the stairs to the front door and said, there you go. No worry. My pregnant wife Sophie is slowly inching further and further backwards down the street. And I go, okay, have a nice day. And they say, no, can you take it into the house and up the first flight of stairs for me?

[Sophie Lang]

The house that's boarded up, pitch black.

[Jamie Lang]

And it looks like a house out of a horror movie.

[Sophie Lang]

Yeah, it really.

[Jamie Lang]

It does. It looks like a very scary house. So I'm thinking, okay, I don't know if this is going to be safe, but I'm thinking, this person seems harmless. It's going to be okay. So I say, okay, cool. Well, why don't you lead in and I will then take the food up the stairs for you.

[Sophie Lang]

You kept saying, okay, my darling, well, why don't you go? And I was like, I've never heard you say that word. It was really throwing me because I.

[Jamie Lang]

Was freaking out inside.

[Sophie Lang]

My darling, why don't you go up first and I'll follow suit?

[Jamie Lang]

I was freaking out inside. I was terrified. And they said to me, they went, are you scared of me? And inside I was like, fucking damn right. I'm absolutely terrified right now. But on the outside, I was like, no, I'm not scared at all. They went, we'll take it up to the front, the first stair. So I then started having a mini argument with this person. I said, well, listen, why don't you go first and then I'll take the food up after you? And they went, no. And I went, the only way this is gonna work is if you go into your house first. You go up the stairs. And then I put. Because I had this whole vision that I was gonna go and then the door was gonna be shut behind me, and I was never gonna come out of the house. I was gonna be stuck there forever. And all I kept hearing from outside was Sophie going, are you okay in there, Jamie?

[Sophie Lang]

I did go up the stairs.

[Jamie Lang]

You did not go up the stairs.

[Sophie Lang]

Yes. And I thought, bad vibes, bad vibes, bad vibes. Retract, retract, retract. And I ran as. As far far. I think I was on the other side of the road.

[Jamie Lang]

You did nothing.

[Sophie Lang]

I went up the stairs and I thought, no way am I entering that door.

[Jamie Lang]

Anyway, they finally. I left their food in there and walked out. But it was a scary, scary experience. Right before we get into our packed out podcast, which we have today, we're going to play a little game of Mr.

[Sophie Lang]

Okay, Torty, curly boy.

[Jamie Lang]

Mr. And Mrs. Are you ready? Are you ready for it?

[Sophie Lang]

I'm ready as I'll ever be.

[Jamie Lang]

So we're going to find out how well we really know each other. Now, we've both written down a few questions about ourselves.

[Sophie Lang]

Yes.

[Jamie Lang]

Okay. And the other person has to guess the right answer. So are you ready?

[Sophie Lang]

Okay. I can't wait.

[Jamie Lang]

Okay. Where did I lose my virginity?

[Sophie Lang]

Okay, so it was to a girl called Sarah. And I don't know where you lost it. You never told me, but I'm gonna go with field.

[Jamie Lang]

You think I lost my virginity in a field?

[Sophie Lang]

Yes, in your dorm room. At her house. Where then?

[Jamie Lang]

I'm not gonna tell you.

[Sophie Lang]

On the beach. Oh, my God. Portugal on the beach? No, that's where you first got blowjob.

[Jamie Lang]

Okay, I lost it in my brother's bedroom.

[Sophie Lang]

Poor Zangen. You didn't tell him, so he would have slept in that bed.

[Jamie Lang]

Ah, well, he knows now, right?

[Sophie Lang]

What's the pettiest reason I ever get gave someone for dumping someone?

[Jamie Lang]

Well, you found someone boring. That's why you dumped them. Do you know what is the pettiest reason? Is this? The best reason is that you suddenly realized there were more boys out there. That's literally what you said to me. You suddenly realized there was more boys. It wasn't just Warwickshire which had boys, and you went, well, now I'm gonna dump him. That was your reason.

[Sophie Lang]

I don't think that's petty. You get to uni, and your eyes are suddenly like, whoa, there's loads of fit guys here. Okay, right.

[Jamie Lang]

Who did I first get a handjob from?

[Sophie Lang]

I'm trying to think who I gave my first to.

[Jamie Lang]

O.

[Sophie Lang]

And you're really good, but you were really good at fingering someone. You knew exactly what to do. Hand job's pretty hard to get wrong. Trust me, fingering is very easy to get wrong.

[Jamie Lang]

Hand jobs. Exactly so.

[Sophie Lang]

As in, like, I couldn't have got it wrong.

[Jamie Lang]

Sophie thinks she's starting a fire. This will warm up.

[Sophie Lang]

Jamie thinks he's trying to dig a hole. Okay, what's my least favorite pregnancy symptom?

[Jamie Lang]

The nausea. The nausea. You can't stand the nausea. Tardness.

[Sophie Lang]

You.

[Jamie Lang]

You find really annoying. But it's when you feel sick. That's what you hate more than anything. Yeah, you also quite. You also find being. You feel very heavy, and that's quite. You can't. You're. You don't like not being able to move.

[Sophie Lang]

Being uncomfortable.

[Jamie Lang]

Yeah, being uncomfortable. See, I know all of these. Who's the most famous person I've snogged?

[Sophie Lang]

Vicky Patterson.

[Jamie Lang]

I didn't snog Vicky Patterson.

[Sophie Lang]

Okay, right. This is so fun.

[Jamie Lang]

I think. And I had a snog once.

[Sophie Lang]

Oh, that's who I got.

[Jamie Lang]

Oh, my God. No, we can't get that in.

[Sophie Lang]

So you snogged someone off towie?

[Jamie Lang]

I think I did, yeah.

[Sophie Lang]

I think there's. If you Google you, there's sometimes, like, pap shots of you.

[Jamie Lang]

She won't mind me saying it.

[Sophie Lang]

Yeah.

[Jamie Lang]

Crosby, she's a. By the way, Charlotte, she's so great and so funny and so wonderful, and she's fricking awesome.

[Sophie Lang]

Right.

[Jamie Lang]

And Charlotte Crosby was on Geordie Shaw. We did want something called a personal appearance together in Ireland together. And this was back in the days when everything was a bit like, rogue, and it was sort of like Made in Chelsea versus other, like, reality shows. That's what it was like. And it was Charlotte Crosby, one of her friends, me and Ollie Proudlock. Anyway, we had to do a battle against each other on stage in front of the crowd, and it was going back and forth, and Ollie and I got on stage and the crowd went wild, and they were going crazy. They went, you're the. You're the winners. Well done. You're the winners. And Charlotte took it into house, was like, no. She grabbed the mic, went, no, no.

[Sophie Lang]

She.

[Jamie Lang]

They're not the winners. They're not the winners. And they were going, no, they are not the winners. Said, everyone be quiet. And she squat. She squatted with the handheld microphone, phone. And Fanny fled into it, and the whole crowd went silent and then booed.

[Sophie Lang]

Was it, like, who could do the most disgusting things? Okay, Right.

[Jamie Lang]

Charlotte, do you remember I. Fanny.

[Sophie Lang]

That's actually really impressive. I'll say. Like, I don't think I could just Fanny fart on cue. So, like, she's got some real strength in her vagina. Like, good for her.

[Jamie Lang]

Charlotte, I salute you. Okay. What part of being a dad am I most excited for?

[Sophie Lang]

You can't wait to play sports with our baby.

[Jamie Lang]

Yeah, that. But also another thing. I cannot wait for that moment when I walk into the room and my baby is there with their hands on the cot, excited to see me in the morning. And I can pick them up and they just hold my neck. Cause they just wanted to. They just miss me. I cannot wait. I can't wait for that moment. And I said it to you last night.

[Sophie Lang]

Oh, I know. Then he can't wait for the door to like, knock, knock, knock. And they creep over and the bed and the toddler's like, can I sleep with you guys?

[Jamie Lang]

Can I come into bed with you daddy or mommy tonight? And I'll be like 100%.

[Sophie Lang]

Yeah, me dearly.

[Jamie Lang]

I just.

[Sophie Lang]

That I'll be like, come and never sleep in your room.

[Jamie Lang]

And we're in bed together and we're just, we're a team. That it's like us versus the world that I can't wait for.

[Sophie Lang]

Do I think you're really ready to be a dad?

[Jamie Lang]

Yeah, 100%. You do?

[Sophie Lang]

Yeah, I do.

[Jamie Lang]

You have no worries whatsoever.

[Sophie Lang]

I have no worries whatsoever. That's the end of Mr. And Mrs.

[Jamie Lang]

Ladies and gentlemen, you know what time it is.

[Sophie Lang]

It's time for listeners messages.

[Jamie Lang]

Mint is still $15 a month for premium wireless. And if you haven't made the switch yet, here are 15 reasons why you should. One, it's $15 a month. Two, seriously, it's $15 a month. Three, no big contracts. Four, I use it. Five, my mom uses it. Are you. Are you playing me off? That's what's happening, right? Okay, give it a [e-mail] Switch upfront.

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[Jamie Lang]

Did I talk too much?

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[Jamie Lang]

Thank you so much.

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[Sophie Lang]

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[Sophie Lang]

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[Sophie Lang]

Warning.

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[Jamie Lang]

You and your business, thinks ahead and takes action.

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[Jamie Lang]

Start a free trial today on Monday.com we have a listener's message.

[Sophie Lang]

I'm going in first from Anonymous.

[Jamie Lang]

Okay for it, honey?

[Sophie Lang]

Firstly, I just want to say how much I adore listening to you both. Your pod is my guilty pleasure on those days when when my 1 and 2 year old have finally broken me and the only solution is a car nap. I chuck them in the back, grab my pot myself a posh coffee, whack you guys on, and enjoy an hour of silence while having a giggle at antics.

[Jamie Lang]

Love you. Love you. Let's go.

[Sophie Lang]

After my first little one, I went for a routine smear which shows some abnormal spells. So I so I was sent to the hospital for further checks. A very nice male consultant explained he'd be the one doing the procedure. And while he was having a good rummage around, he tried to make small talk. We chatted about cricket, the lovely weather, all very normal and out of nowhere, mid rumage, he said, so did you have your baby here? Now, given the situation, his head basically in my undercarriage, I naturally assumed he was asking whether my baby physically exited via this route. So I replied cheerfully, oh no. I had an emergency C section. He froze, looked up from between my legs and with the most confused face said, I meant, did you have your baby in this hospital? I could have died. I wanted the stairs. Just, that is just so I would. I've been there so many times. I could have died. I wanted the stairs to swallow me whole. To be fair, if a man's head is down there and he asked, did you have your baby hit? What on earth are you supposed to think?

[Jamie Lang]

Very true.

[Sophie Lang]

Anyway, keep doing what you're doing. You honestly keep me saying, good luck with the rest of the pregnancy, I hope labor's smooth and that you enjoy every second with your little one. Thank you.

[Jamie Lang]

I have a wild story. Another one from Aiden. Aiden, my partner, Jane. Jane, spelled J, Y, N E, fell pregnant with our first child back in 2020. And much like you guys, we weren't getting it on in the bedroom. Jane has also had A craving for chocolate. So in the last ditch effort to try and seduce her, I decided to place some of her chocolate on my chest to try and make things a little frisky between us. Maybe I should do that with pickles. Pickles and garlic. I'm gonna put pickles and garlic on my chest. And some chopped up kiwi you wouldn't be able to get off me, you absolute frisky devil. I called her through to the bedroom, and instead. And instead of pouncing on me like I'd imagined in my head, she burst out crying. Turns out she was upset that I had wasted her chocolate. She laughs about it now and blames it on her hormones. All the best for when the little one arrives. Being a parent is honestly the best but most challenging thing in the world. And you two are going to smash it. Tell me this. If I was going to put things on my body that would really make you crave and that would make you seduce and you would jump on me, what would it be?

[Sophie Lang]

Crisps. Right in this very moment.

[Jamie Lang]

So I get crisps. I scramble them up.

[Sophie Lang]

Jamon Iberico flavored crisps.

[Jamie Lang]

Hamon Iberico flavored.

[Sophie Lang]

I wouldn't want you to scrunch them up. I don't like crummy crisps. I like a whole. If they're rolled over, that's elite for me.

[Jamie Lang]

So I'm naked.

[Sophie Lang]

Torres, ham on Iberica crisps. What my mouth is sling for right now.

[Jamie Lang]

Torres, Hamila Barrick, if you're listening, send me a truckload and I'm going to. Honestly, just pour it all on me.

[Sophie Lang]

Okay. This is from Chloe. I just wanted to share a special story about my sister, also named Sophie. Sophie and her husband have been together for 12 years and got married three years ago. They started trying for a baby soon after, but unfortunately, they struggled to conceive and eventually had to turn to ivf. It's been a tough journey. Sophie even had to have one of her fallopian tubes removed. But luckily, during the IVF process, they were able to retrieve a good number of eggs. Fast forward to 2025. The family experienced some heartbreaking losses, including the passing of her husband's grandmother and then his dad. It was incredibly emotional time for everybody. But just when we needed some light, we received the best news. Sophie is now 12 weeks pregnant, and her baby is due in April 2026.

[Jamie Lang]

On let's Go.

[Sophie Lang]

Yes, our whole family is over the moon. My mom and dad are going to be grandparents for the first time. My sister and I cannot Wait to become the best aunties ever. We absolutely love the podcast. It's been so helpful and educational, especially for me as I learn how to support my sister and prepare to be the best auntie I can be. She listens every week, so I hope you read this one. It would mean the world to her. So we're so happy for you and April's such a beautiful time to have a baby. Spring baby.

[Jamie Lang]

Let's go, guys. Let's congrats. I'm so pleased for you guys, as always. We love these messages. They make me howl, they make me laugh, they make everyone laugh. We love all the messages in our inbox. We see them all. The happy ones, the sad ones, the lovely ones, everything. So please, please keep sending them in. You can send them in to our DMs at NearlyParents podcast or you can send us an email. It's very simple. Nearlyparentsampodproductions.co.uk. everything is in the show description below. That's the end of listeners, messages, listeners, listeners, messages. Guys, I'm very excited to bring someone onto the podcast. Her name is Pip. She's an experienced midwife. She's gonna be teaching us a lot of things about that, but also she's gonna be talking through how one would give birth. I'm excited for it. Sophie, I know you're excited for it. Listener, viewer, everyone around the world, I know you're excited for it. Please welcome to the podcast. It's Pip. Pip, welcome to the podcast.

[Pip (Midwife)]

Thanks for having me. I'm excited.

[Jamie Lang]

Oh, my God. Thank you so much. We're rookies over here. We know nothing. Can you explain what a midwife is?

[Pip (Midwife)]

So a midwife essentially is the person that supports you throughout your pregnancy and then through birth and that, like, very initial postnatal period as well. I guess the challenge is, at the moment, you don't often see the same midwife at every appointment. So it used to be this, like, really beautiful, nurturing relationship that you got with your midwife. And in, like, today's system, we've kind of lost that a little bit, which is sad. But I like to think we still have the skill of bonding with women very quickly when they kind of come into our care. So, yeah, our job is to support you in that, like, holistic space. And if there's any complications, twists or turns that need more support, then we'll signpost you to, like, the appropriate medical professional, obstetrician, doctor. But we'd like the first port of call.

[Jamie Lang]

Where does the husband turn?

[Sophie Lang]

To us two.

[Pip (Midwife)]

We're here for you both.

[Jamie Lang]

Okay, great. See, that's what I wanted to know. Cause it's nerve wracking, right? It's like the whole thing, it feels like incredibly natural and everything, but it's also quite scary, the whole process, isn't it?

[Pip (Midwife)]

It's a big deal, isn't it? Like it's a really big thing. But what you said, so crucial, Jamie, because I think sometimes dads can feel a bit like lost or a bit of a passenger. And we don't want you to be like the lemon in the room during birth. Like you've got a really big role. This is baby's half yours, right? Like it's a big deal. So you should be able to talk to your midwife, like ask all the questions equally as much as Sophie, and feel like involved.

[Jamie Lang]

We don't know what our birth plan is gonna be yet, do we? So we don't quite know yet. Some people do a water birth as a husband. I can't get in the water as well.

[Pip (Midwife)]

You can if you want to.

[Jamie Lang]

There we go. So if we do that, you can.

[Sophie Lang]

If the woman wants you to and.

[Pip (Midwife)]

If she wants you to. But like the pool, when you first see it, looks all nice and clean, right? Like a little while in, it's a bit murky. There's a bit, a bit of this and that floating around. You might not want to.

[Sophie Lang]

Well, how quickly does it get murky?

[Pip (Midwife)]

Depends how long you're in it. Depends how long you're in it. If you're a fake tan wearer, very quickly.

[Sophie Lang]

I'm not a fake tan wearer.

[Jamie Lang]

Apparently. Apparently there's a little net.

[Pip (Midwife)]

A scoop. A poop scoop.

[Jamie Lang]

There is a spoop scoop.

[Pip (Midwife)]

Quite literally a poop scoop.

[Jamie Lang]

Oh my. So how many years have you been a midwife?

[Pip (Midwife)]

Oh my goodness. I started midwifery in 20 2012.

[Jamie Lang]

Amazing.

[Pip (Midwife)]

So I'm getting old.

[Sophie Lang]

Absolutely incredible.

[Jamie Lang]

So what advice would you give to. So couples going into the. What is like the advice that you would give to them leading up to the birth? What is it?

[Pip (Midwife)]

Communicate together. But have like we talked Lita said there about like making your birth plan. Don't have a plan that is like, I want X, Y, Z. Because that's all not that helpful. Everyone wants the same thing. Typically either plan caesarean or really straightforward unmedicalized water birth. People tend to go like, like down one one of those paths, but there's this enormous gray area in between. So having like your plan A preferences is great, but also explore those deviations And I always say to families, if there's something that you're like, we really don't want X, Y, Z. Actually, they're the things that we need to, like, talk about a little bit more and unpick a little bit more and make plans for. So often families might say, like, I really don't want an induction of labor, or I really don't want something like forceps, or I'm really concerned about tearing. Then they're the things we need to, like, explore in more depth and make a bit more of a plan for or give you a bit more information about, because they might crop up. And, you know, in life, if you don't plan for that one thing, like, that's the thing coming for you. It's just the way life works, right?

[Jamie Lang]

So talk me through. So let's say baby starts to come.

[Darina (Quo Co-founder)]

Yeah.

[Jamie Lang]

You have your bag packed?

[Pip (Midwife)]

Yeah.

[Jamie Lang]

You have your exit plan. I feel like I need to be Jason Bourne. Like, what is the best plan to have?

[Pip (Midwife)]

So, couple of things. When contractions start, right, we don't want you to, first of all, go, oh, my goodness, I'm going into labour. Let's all leg it. Like, we've got this emergency run to the hospital. Because the vast majority of time, you have got time. Babies don't tend to just, like, fall out. I mean, if only it was that easy. Hey, savings. There tends to be time. So you don't need to panic. You don't need to rush. And actually panicking or rushing gives you this. This big surge in, like, adrenaline or cortisol, which is the worst thing. So just, like, we're having a baby. Do a little dance. Do something that makes you laugh. Super, super chilled. No rushing. My husband, when I went into labour with my first, started, like. I mean, he hasn't cleaned the house in a long old time because then he started cleaning the house and, like, getting everything ready. And I was like, hello. Like, we need to just keep everything really chill, everything really natural. So, yeah, don't panic and don't rush. Cause all you do is send your adrenaline sky high. And that just stops labor.

[Sophie Lang]

Yeah.

[Jamie Lang]

Are you serious? So there's no. You just go, all right, this is happening. Here we go.

[Pip (Midwife)]

What we panicking about? We're having a baby. That's exciting.

[Jamie Lang]

Do you think I'm gonna be calm in that situation?

[Sophie Lang]

I think so. You should be. After all that we've learned.

[Jamie Lang]

You think I'm gonna be calm in that scenario?

[Sophie Lang]

Yeah, I think so. I think you. Well, you've been told to be in.

[Jamie Lang]

The hospital, very calm. But I would normally go into, like. Right, here we go. Let's get in the car. Let's get ready. But no, it's all just calm and peaceful.

[Pip (Midwife)]

We don't need to be like. Yeah, don't need to be stressed about it. That's great. It's exciting. Right?

[Jamie Lang]

Okay. And then normally when people get to the hospital, because I imagine it's like the movies where you break in, you go, like, we're having a baby. That's not what happens.

[Sophie Lang]

Isn't it?

[Pip (Midwife)]

I mean, you can do that if you want.

[Jamie Lang]

I would like to do that.

[Pip (Midwife)]

Okay. Have that moment. Have that moment.

[Jamie Lang]

But that's not normal.

[Pip (Midwife)]

But then be calm.

[Jamie Lang]

Okay? Okay. And talk me through the actual. The birth and everything that happens. Because I've been told the most important thing is to rub Sophie's back to make sure that it's all okay. To talk about things calmly, to keep the mood going or. That's the way to be a good partner during this process, isn't it?

[Pip (Midwife)]

Yeah. I mean, do you like having your back rubbed, Sophie?

[Sophie Lang]

I do now, but I don't know how I will. I've been told, like, I might not when I. Yeah, you might be like gas. Yeah.

[Pip (Midwife)]

Now. Yeah. Like, everyone is so different.

[Jamie Lang]

What were you like?

[Pip (Midwife)]

I wanted my husband, like, near. And when I wanted to hold his hand, I wanted it like now. And if he wasn't quick enough, he was in trouble.

[Sophie Lang]

Right.

[Pip (Midwife)]

But I generally wanted him to know he was there and present, but I didn't want him touching me. One thing that I got him to do in my second labor was count my contractions. Didn't plan on it, but I found it so helpful because contractions, they're like a wave. Right. So they're about 60 seconds.

[Jamie Lang]

Yeah.

[Pip (Midwife)]

20 seconds building. 20 seconds, super intense. 20 seconds, getting easier.

[Jamie Lang]

So you have to count the contractions.

[Pip (Midwife)]

Yeah. So let's say, like, Sophie starts contracting. You just count to 60. And in Sophie's head, like, if this works for you, that's weird.

[Sophie Lang]

And your head's going to really work.

[Pip (Midwife)]

For me, it's all, like, mind games.

[Jamie Lang]

I need to lock this in again. So hold on. So you start contracting, And I go, one, two, three, calmly, four, five. Yeah, yeah, you got it. Six. And I count to 60.

[Pip (Midwife)]

Yeah. So in Sophie's head, she knows the first 20 is, like, gradually building. Then she's got 20 of, like, it's intense, but just 20 seconds. Just 20 seconds at a time, and then it fades away.

[Sophie Lang]

That's really Useful tif.

[Jamie Lang]

Okay. Can I ask a more intimate question?

[Pip (Midwife)]

Always.

[Jamie Lang]

Baby comes. How long is rest period until?

[Pip (Midwife)]

Go and say it.

[Jamie Lang]

Hanky panky can begin.

[Pip (Midwife)]

What do you want me to say?

[Sophie Lang]

Say, three months, Years? Years. Ten years.

[Pip (Midwife)]

So there isn't a right or wrong. What we'd say, typically, is you want to stop bleeding, which can take, like, up to around six weeks if you have. Yeah, six weeks. I just.

[Sophie Lang]

I've never been told that child's longest.

[Pip (Midwife)]

Period after having not had one for nine months. You get that gift.

[Sophie Lang]

Wow, that's intense.

[Pip (Midwife)]

It does get less so, like, first few days, like, really heavy and then gradually tails off. But stop bleeding. If you've had any stitches or you've got any wounds, you want that to feel healed and comfortable. And then, like, when you're emotionally ready. And that's really variable. So I always say a minimum of six weeks. But the vast majority of women are like, do not come near me. It's like, often it is much longer.

[Sophie Lang]

Really.

[Jamie Lang]

That's what happens.

[Pip (Midwife)]

Really variable.

[Jamie Lang]

Listen, you have a little bag of goodies here.

[Pip (Midwife)]

I've literally got a torso and a vagina in a suitcase that I've brought across London. I thought I was going to get stopped and blocked.

[Jamie Lang]

So explain to me you're going to show me what happens during birth.

[Pip (Midwife)]

Yes. So I thought it'd be nice for you to have a little trial run.

[Sophie Lang]

I can't wait to see it.

[Jamie Lang]

Yeah. I'm so excited to see what it's like.

[Sophie Lang]

Me too.

[Pip (Midwife)]

Cause it's a bit nuts the first time you see, like, a head coming through a vagina. It's a lot to take in, so quite nice to see it on my plastic model before it's Seyphee's turn.

[Jamie Lang]

I used to do a lot of lambing when I was a kid.

[Sophie Lang]

Okay.

[Jamie Lang]

So I think I'm well equipped.

[Sophie Lang]

Right.

[Pip (Midwife)]

How do you feel about that, Sophie's?

[Jamie Lang]

Yeah. I lived on a farm.

[Sophie Lang]

Well, I watched my Doberman give birth.

[Jamie Lang]

All right, let's. We have a birthing simulator in front of us. Let's give this a go. This is half a torso, and there's a vagina at the bottom end of the torso. And I'm gonna give birth to this baby. Here we go.

[Pip (Midwife)]

So we're at the stage now, Sophie, where we can see the top of your baby's head. Their head is just crowning. So this is where you might feel a bit of stretching or stinging.

[Sophie Lang]

Okay.

[Pip (Midwife)]

And at this stage, we want you just to breathe.

[Jamie Lang]

This is actually. Just breathe, honey. Just Breathe.

[Pip (Midwife)]

Imagine you're blowing out birthday candles. As you blow and the contractions come. Baby's gonna keep coming. That's it.

[Jamie Lang]

Oh, my God. Nicely, no ways.

[Pip (Midwife)]

So we want baby to come nice and slowly, Sophie, remember, it's twisting and turning.

[Jamie Lang]

That's it.

[Pip (Midwife)]

That's perfect.

[Sophie Lang]

Oh, my God. I can't push this, guys.

[Jamie Lang]

Yeah, you can.

[Sophie Lang]

I'm deadly serious. I might have to get Magda behind. I've got a little rest.

[Jamie Lang]

Magda, once you get behind, here we go. We're gonna get Magda behind.

[Pip (Midwife)]

Okay, now, Jamie, if you pop your left hand just on the top of baby's head. That's it. And as baby comes, you're just gonna support them with a bit of downward traction.

[Jamie Lang]

Oh, my God. I don't think I'll go magna push.

[Sophie Lang]

This is Mendel. So we're all happy with this.

[Pip (Midwife)]

It's a team effort then.

[Jamie Lang]

He's doing it over the nose.

[Sophie Lang]

That's it. That must be a relief. When the head comes out, you're like vagina. It's like.

[Pip (Midwife)]

Okay, now slowly with the shoulders. So, Jamie, pop your hands on baby's head.

[Sophie Lang]

I've got baby's head.

[Jamie Lang]

I've got baby's head.

[Pip (Midwife)]

One on top for me.

[Jamie Lang]

One on top.

[Pip (Midwife)]

Pass it nice and gentle. And you're going to pull very gently downwards, just downward traction to release your baby's shoulders. That's it.

[Jamie Lang]

Release the shoulders, honey. Here we go.

[Pip (Midwife)]

Beautiful. Baby's coming now, Sophie.

[Jamie Lang]

Oh, my God.

[Pip (Midwife)]

If you look down.

[Jamie Lang]

Oh, my God.

[Pip (Midwife)]

Any minute, baby's gonna come up onto your tummy.

[Jamie Lang]

Oh, it's out. Congratulations. Yay. Baby's out, everyone.

[Pip (Midwife)]

You did it.

[Sophie Lang]

The baby's out.

[Pip (Midwife)]

And it only took minutes.

[Jamie Lang]

That is the most wild experience. That is the most wild experience I've ever seen in my life.

[Sophie Lang]

Like that is quite like jarring in a way to see that up close.

[Jamie Lang]

Yeah, that was. But can I just say thank you for that experience. Thank you for just being such an awesome person and helping so many people in this world and also bringing people into this world.

[Pip (Midwife)]

Oh, thank you.

[Jamie Lang]

Yeah. That's amazing. Top tip you can give to any nearly parents out there.

[Pip (Midwife)]

Top tip would be explore all your options. So have your preferences. But anything that you're fearful of, please, please get support and unpick so that you can have a birth that really is positive and empowering. Cause it's more than one day. Like it does change you forever. And it's so important that we start nailing positive births for families.

[Sophie Lang]

I love that.

[Jamie Lang]

I love that Pip, thank you so much for coming on. You're amazing.

[Pip (Midwife)]

Oh, pleasure. Thanks for having me. I'm excited for you guys.

[Jamie Lang]

You're amazing. That was amazing. Oh, my God. Well, that was a wild ride. I'm pretty exhausted after all that. My neck hurts. I've just seen a baby being given birth. I held the baby. There's a lot going on.

[Sophie Lang]

And on that note, it's the end of the podcast.

[Jamie Lang]

Before we go, we have a weird pregnancy tip of the week. Just a reminder, these weird and wonderful tips are from you lot and aren't based on any medical facts. So this is from Anonymous. Putting a bar of soap under your bed sheet can ease pregnancy cramps in the night. Have you tried any of these?

[Sophie Lang]

Oh, yeah, I do. I lift my stomach up when I pee now and it really helps.

[Jamie Lang]

Any more tips? Anything like that, we want to hear from you guys. Well, if you want to know more about Pip, she's also written a book, Midwife Pip's Guide to a Positive Birth. Pip Davies. So you can go and get that. We'll leave a link in the description. Well, on that note, ladies and gentlemen, we want to say a big thank you. Remember, if you want to get in touch, you can via our Instagram @NearlyParents podcast or you can send us an email. Nearlyparentsamprodproductions.co.uk if you're getting married, good luck.

[Sophie Lang]

If you're getting engaged, good luck. If you're pregnant and giving birth, don't.

[Jamie Lang]

Watch any birthing videos.

[Sophie Lang]

And if you're getting divorced, divorced, go.

[Jamie Lang]

And having a wild ride.

[Sophie Lang]

And if you're single and ready to.

[Jamie Lang]

Mingle, go and have fun because life is long and beautiful.

[Sophie Lang]

We love you guys so much. We'll see you next week. Bye.

[Jamie Lang]

Goodbye.

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