NearlyParents: Jamie’s Fingers Slip Somewhere SHOCKING
Podcast: NearlyParents by JamPot Productions
Hosts: Jamie Laing & Sophie Habboo
Guest: Poppy Child, Doula
Date: September 21, 2025
Episode Overview
This vibrant, no-filter episode of NearlyParents captures Jamie and Sophie’s hilarious, honest journey through pregnancy. They kick off with playful banter over Jamie’s questionable fashion choices and dive deep into the physical and emotional rollercoaster of impending parenthood—everything from pregnancy mishaps, oversharing on bodily functions, birth fears, and sex, to practical prep (including how to give a perineal massage!). The couple is joined by doula Poppy Child, who provides hands-on advice about birth, pain management, and being a supportive partner, all delivered with gentle humor and candor.
Key Discussion Points and Insights
1. Jamie’s Fashion Sense & Couple Dynamics
Timestamp: 03:09–06:20
- Sophie cheekily roasts Jamie’s outfit: white jeans, black suit socks, and Croc and Jones shoes (“It’s probably what your dad wore”).
“You have an addiction to bomber jackets. You don’t wear any of them. And they’re all girls.” – Sophie (03:48)
- Jamie confesses he relies on Sophie for outfit approval and feels insecure without her affirmation.
- Their banter is affectionate and loaded with inside jokes about style, sleep habits, and pet peeves.
2. Pregnancy Realness: Coccyx Disasters, Birth Pain, and Overshares
Timestamp: 07:03–12:00
- Sophie reveals her coccyx has popped out due to pregnancy strain, sharing details about the pain and the unglamorous potential fix:
“I might have to have a glove...like, the only way I can picture me on all fours... and a blue glove going onto the doctor’s hand and then him shoving his hand in my... Like, that’s a cow. Oh, it’s really glamorous.” – Sophie (08:24)
- Jamie jokingly suggests making a Halloween costume out of her predicament, riffing on cow imagery.
- The pair riff on constipation, piles, misunderstood medical terms (e.g., “coccyxic vein”), and what birth might actually feel like, referencing Sophie’s mom’s harrowing description:
"It feels like 18 bones in your body have just broken all at once." – Sophie, quoting her mom (10:27)
3. Sex, Birth, and Induction – Awkward Anticipations
Timestamp: 12:05–16:21
- The topic of sex to induce labor sparks genuinely funny and frank exchanges about body image, awkwardness, and suggested positions as Sophie’s pregnancy advances:
- “I’d have to be like strapped and like held up in order to do it from the ceiling.” – Sophie, on 69ing while pregnant (13:40)
- “It might be awkward. It’s been that long.” – Sophie (12:33)
- The discussion exposes both the vulnerability and humor in navigating intimacy during late pregnancy.
4. Pregnancy Terms & Dictionary Corner
Timestamp: 17:07–18:25
- Sophie tests Jamie on pregnancy vocabulary, with “edema” (swelling) as the word of the day.
- Jamie jokes about Sophie’s swollen “bucket hands” while she laments not fitting her rings.
- “I swear, when I—I’m losing the breath and the will to live day by day being my—” – Sophie (18:19)
5. Listener Messages – Wild Stories from the Community
Timestamp: 22:38–28:52
- The couple shares outrageous and sometimes graphic listener anecdotes:
- Murphy the Cat: Cat jumps into post-coital mess and licks itself clean.
“He pounced onto the bed—paws landing straight into the cum on my chest with a huge splat.” – Sophie reading listener’s email (23:36)
- Constipation Woes: Pregnant listener tries the “tiger mum trick” of bum-licking (with a wipe) to finally pass a “chocolate raisin” after days of not pooping.
- Heartfelt Love Story: Listener Emma shares a moving account of an international relationship during Covid, pregnancy apart, and family finally reunited for their baby's birth.
6. Enter Doula Poppy Child: Birth Preparation & Partner Guidance
Timestamp: 29:54–47:14
Doula vs. Midwife
- Poppy explains: doulas are not medically trained but provide continuous, holistic support, becoming part of the family.
“Doulas... get to know you, become part of the family, cook you food, and then they support you during your birth. It’s like continuity of care.” – Poppy (30:16)
Key Birth Partner Tips
- Main role is to “protect the bubble”—keep the mood calm and undisturbed so labor can progress with minimal outside interference.
“You want to be in the zone, switching off the thinking brain.” – Poppy (31:01)
- Jamie and Poppy riff on how a birth partner’s actions (or franticness) can either help or hinder.
Techniques for Birth & Pain Management
- Sonic Breaths & “Floppy Face”: Making a loose face and vocalizing during contractions helps keep the pelvic floor relaxed.
“In the birth world, we say floppy face, floppy fanny.” – Poppy (34:15)
- Honesty About Pain: Acknowledges pain is “intense, not harmful”—reframe as functional and productive.
“No matter how intense this is, these contractions can’t harm me... They’re not causing you harm.” – Poppy (36:41)
Role Play & Setting Boundaries
- Poppy guides Jamie not to bombard Sophie with anxious questions during labor.
“I really don’t want him to say, ‘are you okay?’” – Sophie (38:36)
- Jamie admits stress is his “kryptonite” but claims he’s working on it.
Perineal Massage Demo
- Practical, step-by-step demo using a squash! The conversation is both graphic and laugh-out-loud.
- Lubricated thumbs, U-shape motion, no touching the anus.
“Are they cut?” – Poppy (re: Jamie’s fingernails, 42:14)
“Do not go in there.” – Poppy on the anus (42:30)
- Benefits: Regular perineal massage can reduce likelihood of severe tearing in first-time births.
Sex During Pregnancy
- Poppy is candid: “No, I closed shop.” The group agrees abstinence is common and normal.
“Oxytocin Bubble”
- Poppy plugs her audio track designed to foster calm and deepen connection with baby during labor (47:05).
7. Memorable Quotes & Banter
- “Your hair looks gorgeous...Just think it’s unique.” – Sophie softens the roast (05:53)
- “I’d like you to be on top. Oh my God. That’s a lot of women. It’s a lot of women on top of me.” – Jamie, on sexual anticipation (13:08)
- “You gobbler.” – Jamie, when Sophie wants two Rennies for heartburn (05:40)
- “All your little nuggets of joy out there, your little poopsicles that you poop on towels...” – Jamie (28:38)
- “This couldn’t be it. But suddenly I realized my pain was gone at last. I stared at this raisin and tipped it into the bowl…” – Anonymous listener (25:09)
Noteworthy Segments & Timestamps
- Jamie’s Style Offense – 03:09–06:20
- Sophie’s Coccyx Drama – 07:03–09:06
- Sex and Induction Position Game – 12:05–14:24
- Listener Story: Cat Chaos – 22:45–24:49
- Doula Poppy Joins – 29:54
- Perineal Massage Demo – 42:03–45:54
- “Oxytocin Bubble” Resource – 46:44
Tone & Overall Vibe
- Unfiltered, playful, and irreverent – Jamie and Sophie riff off each other in a way that’s both hilarious and disarmingly candid.
- Supportive and honest – They balance laughs with genuine vulnerability, especially regarding pain, fear, and relationship challenges.
- Educational but lighthearted – Poppy’s presence grounds the episode in practical advice, all while keeping things non-intimidating.
Conclusion
This episode delivers the ultimate combination of “TMI,” honest support, and practical tips for parents-to-be—or anyone interested in the wild truths of pregnancy and partnership. Whether discussing Jamie’s bold fashion, Sophie’s coccyx escapades, labor pain, or perineal massage techniques with a squash, it’s a wild, warm-hearted ride. Poppy Child’s advice is a standout, demystifying birth fears and offering real, actionable guidance for birth partners and mothers alike.
For more insights, relatable laughs, or to join the postpartum TMI club, subscribe and follow @NearlyParentsPodcast!
