Sophie and Jamie set up BLIND dates! Bonus episode!

Summary

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NearlyParents "Sophie and Jamie Set Up BLIND Dates!" (Bonus Episode)

Host: Jamie Laing & Sophie Habboo
Date: September 10, 2025

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Episode Overview

In this lively, laughter-filled bonus episode, Sophie and Jamie embark on a new experiment: becoming matchmakers for their listeners with the help of Audible. The duo set up three "blind" phone dates between listeners, then bring the daters on the podcast to spill how it really went—complete with audio clips from each speed date. Expect playful banter, honest dating confessions, and the irresistibly awkward magic of first encounters, all seasoned with the couple's signature warmth, wit, and total lack of filter.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Launching NearlyParents Speed Dating (00:56–03:43)

• Sophie and Jamie’s Motivation:
  Jamie expresses longing for the dating scene, wanting to live "vicariously" through listeners searching for love.
  Sophie jokes about Jamie's well-known love of romance audiobooks (01:23–01:58).
• The Setup:
  Three listener pairs are matched for genuine, unscripted phone dates. The podcast features highlights from each to see if sparks fly.

“Basically, we’re like Cupid on crap.” – Jamie (03:04)

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2. Dating Advice and Old Stories (03:43–05:00)

• Sophie's Dating Advice:
  "Don’t shag them on the first date. And don't eat spaghetti Bolognese because it stains your lips and it looks weird." (03:53)
• Jamie’s Nightmare Date Tale:
  Jamie shares a story about height mismatches and the perils of edamame beans (04:19–04:47).
• Icebreaker Tips:
  The hosts provided creative icebreakers for all daters—listeners are encouraged to steal them!

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The Dates: Recaps, Clips & Reactions

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1. Charlie & Joe (05:13–13:05)

Charlie: Londoner seeking a “surfer boy” type; loves pubs, hates dating app saturation. Joe: Blackpool-born, London-based physio; into travel, fitness, and good pints.

Highlights:

• Pub Name Icebreaker ("Fiddler’s Tail")
  The duo bond over their dream pub names, leading to comical misunderstandings:

  • Jamie: “He wanted to call his pub Fiddler's...I’m not mad about it, I’ll definitely pop into the Fiddler’s Tail.” (08:21)

• Dream Date Scenario:
  Joe describes an ideal sunny-day picnic by the canal, complete with bird song—perfectly matching Charlie’s vision.

  • Charlie: “This is like the perfect answer…” (09:43–09:57)

• Animal Metaphors:
  Charlie reveals her favorite animal: lobster. Sophie catches the “Friends” reference.

  • Sophie: “You want to find your lobster. They come in pairs.” (10:45–10:51)

• Romance Style:
  Exploring if Joe is a reserved Mr. Darcy or an explosive Gatsby in romance.

  • Joe: “I think I’d be more a bit of Mr. Darcy…but maybe a bit more subtle.” (11:14–11:40)

Outcome:

• Will Charlie Text Joe?
  • Charlie, after some hesitation: “I’m gonna text him.” (12:37)
    • Jamie and Sophie cheer her on.
• Message Brainstorm:
  • Sophie vetoes “Will you be my lobster?” as too full-on.

Memorable Quote:

“He might be my lobster.” – Charlie (12:27)

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2. Tom & George (13:10–26:25)

Tom: Belfast-born actor and teacher with a colourful dating life and sparkling wit.
George: Festival marketeer, fitness-lover, shares Tom’s bookish interests and dry humor.

Highlights:

• Tom’s Dating Unfiltered:
  • Tom shares his “seven dates in seven days” marathon and getting over dating nerves post-uni. “I feel like gay boys, like, don’t date a lot...I’ve just been trying to like, throw myself [in].” (15:44–15:59)
• Ghosting in Modern Dating:
  • Tom discusses the rise of ghosting and people’s elaborate excuses:

    “Just say you don’t want to go on a date again. Like, it’s not deep...Your friend is not having an emergency today. You are fine.” (16:18–16:43)

• Blind Phone Date Banter:
  • The call is “giving 90s landline”—Tom’s nerves make him chatty, George remains calm.
  • Jamie: “I’m kind of getting a good vibe, but I don’t know what happens...” (20:49)
• Berlin Stories – The Berghain Incident:
  • Tom regales his fashion fail at the notorious club door, George reveals he got in (21:13–22:28).
• Quirky Talents:
  • Tom’s “boing noise” party trick becomes a date icebreaker.
  • George: “That was quite good, actually. I’m quite impressed.” (24:28)

Outcome:

• Would Tom See George Again?
  • Tom: “Oh, yeah, sure. Go on...Life is for living, guys!” (25:19–25:23)
  • Plans to message George: “Do you want to go to Berghain? …P.S. boing.” (25:29–26:05)

Memorable Quotes:

“It was giving PE gear. Do you know what I mean?” – Tom on his Berghain club attempt (22:04)
“P.S. boing!” – (Tom’s planned sign-off, 26:00)

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3. Dapo & Ari (26:25–31:31)

Dapo: London podcast host, “perpetually single,” believes relationships should “add to your life.” Loves humor and music. Ari: North London jetsetter seeking adventure, has high standards, likes a man who can cook.

Highlights:

• Chemistry & Teasing:

  • Padel tennis (and Dapo’s single housemate) forms flirty territory:
    • Ari: “Is he single?”
    • Dapo: “He’s not, unfortunately. This is my date.” (28:49–28:51)
  • Jamie: “That's a bit weird.” / Sophie: “Slightly red flag vibes.” / Dapo: “A little bit.” (28:58–29:02)

• Culinary Skills:

  • Dapo offers pineapple crumble as his best dish, Ari is unconvinced but open.
  • Ari tempts with her tagliatelle and boursin pasta.
  • Dapo emphasizes “wine and tunes” as his strengths: “That’s literally where I excel. Good chat, wine and tunes.” (30:21–30:32)
  • Hosts (excitedly): “Are you in love with each other? She loves you too. I can sense it.” (30:43–30:49)

Outcome:

• Will Dapo Text Ari?
  • Dapo: “I think I would.” (31:07)
  • Plans to suggest dinner or a padel match.

Memorable Quotes:

“Would you like to try my crumble?” – Jamie, coaching Dapo on what to text (31:22)
“I can hear the wedding bells.” – Sophie (31:28)

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Notable Quotes & Moments

• “You’d, like, have sex with everyone.”
  Jamie, on dating app ‘completion’ (06:00)
• “Seven for seven. Let’s go.”
  Tom, on his week of daily dates (15:06)
• “You want to find your lobster.”
  Sophie, on love and Friends references (10:48)
• “Just say you don’t want to go on a date again. Like, it’s not deep.”
  Tom, on the absurdity of ghosting (16:41)
• “That's my day.”
  Dapo, warding off Ari’s interest in his housemate (28:51)

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Timestamp Guide for Key Segments

• Intro & Concept (00:56–03:43)
• Hosts’ Dating Advice (03:43–05:00)
• Charlie & Joe Blind Date (05:13–13:05)
• Tom & George Blind Date (13:10–26:25)
• Dapo & Ari Blind Date (26:25–31:31)

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Tone & Listener Experience

True to the NearlyParents brand, the episode is stuffed with affectionate ribbing, candid confessions, and heartwarming encouragement—making listeners feel as if they’re chatting with friends over coffee. Jamie and Sophie keep the vibe playful but empathetic, celebrating every small romantic win and awkward moment alike.

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Summary Verdict

This experimental speed-dating episode is a rom-com come to life, with Sophie and Jamie’s energetic, irrepressibly nosy hosting style bringing out the best in their daters. Fans of the podcast—as well as anyone curious about the state of modern dating—will find themselves rooting for all three pairs and reveling in the honest, hilarious navigation of connection in the NearlyParents universe.

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Transcript

[A]

Hello, I'm Jamie Lang.

[B]

And I'm Sophie Lang.

[A]

And we've been married for two years.

[B]

And we're having a baby.

[A]

Yes, we are.

[B]

Are you ready?

[A]

Let's go. Well, hello, everybody. Everybody out there in the atmosphere listening. You know, it could be more people listening to us, by the way. People outside of Earth could be listening to us.

[B]

Or aliens.

[A]

You want to call them aliens? I would call them friends.

[B]

Hello, friends outside of Earth, by the way. Oh, sorry, cuts me off. As you can tell, they're all frowning, thinking, we don't do this outside of Earth.

[A]

No, they're not.

[B]

They're like, we let our wives speak.

[A]

They're saying, just. Just talk over her. Talk over her all the time. That's what they keep telling me.

[B]

They're saying, take your green hat off, candy boy.

[A]

They can't see this because this is just audible. And what's clever about that? This is a very special episode brought to you by Audible.

[B]

Woo. Woo.

[A]

Welcome to Nearly Parent Speed Dating.

[B]

Can I get a whoop whoop?

[A]

You can get a whoop whoop. Okay, we have a very exciting episode for you today, guys, because Audible, which is the go to destination for all flavors of romance, approached us with an idea to help bring a Nearly Parent speed dating concept to life. And when anyone brings us anything like that, we are down. And if it's with dating, I miss it. So we're down to be a part of it, if I can.

[B]

We're gonna live vicariously for you guys.

[A]

Oh, I'm gonna live vicariously through them. And before we get into it, by the way, a huge, huge thank you to Audible because these guys know romance. Listen to the podcast. Will also know that Sophie often teases me for pretending to be a keen reader, but with Audible subscription, I can genuinely be a real life bookworm.

[B]

Oh, 100. And their lineup of romance stories is unmatched, everyone. They have it all, okay? They've got the Sweeney rom coms, they've got the fantastical epic romances, they've got enemies to lover stories, and I mean, they've got everything in between.

[A]

Can I say this? You've been loving your audiobooks, haven't you? Because there are certain moments when I know you're listening and.

[B]

Well, yes, exactly.

[A]

You get. You get a little bit frisky.

[B]

No, listen, I've been. I'll be in the absolute pregnancy trenches and honestly, I just need to slap on an audiobook, okay? And it's like I'm transported to a whole new world.

[A]

Why would you want.

[B]

But you don't exist.

[A]

Okay. Why do you want to be transported?

[B]

It's the best, honestly. I mean, I cannot wait for the new Pride and Prejudice audiobook with Marissa, Abella, and Harris Dickinson. Harris Dickinson. I said that, right?

[A]

Can I just ask you a quick question? Are you excited about Pride and Prejudice or are you excited about Harris Dickinson?

[B]

Harris Dickinson.

[A]

Okay. Because you did watch the movie that he was in and come back one night and you. You asked me if I could dance like him in that.

[B]

No, I didn't.

[A]

You did.

[B]

I didn't. Because that would have ruined the vision for me. I just. I don't know where he is in the world, but I'd like to find out.

[A]

In your ears. It sounds like soon.

[B]

Soon to be.

[A]

Okay, so here's how it's going to work. We put the ask out to find the listeners of the podcast who are looking for love. And we asked them if they'd like to go on a quick speed date. Just a short phone call. It's very simple. With another fan of the show to see if we could spark up something. Basically, we're like Cupid on crap.

[B]

Cupid or Cupid?

[A]

Cupid.

[B]

You said Cupid.

[A]

I've never said Cupid in my life.

[B]

We're like Cupid.

[A]

Anyway, we went through tons of profiles to find the best possible matches, and we sell three phone dates. So today we're going to chat with three of the datas and break down how it went. Featuring real clips? Yes, real clips from the actual dates that were. That happened.

[B]

I actually can't wait.

[A]

Why are you excited?

[B]

Because this is like watching the inside scoop. It's like seeing everything everyone wants to know in real life. I'm gonna find out what they like about each other, what they don't know about each other, what they're nervous about, what they're excited about. It's everything a girl wants to know.

[A]

So before we bring it in, our first data and see if they found their date was more of a swoony rom com or epic romance. Sophie, what's your best dating advice?

[B]

Don't shag them on the first day.

[A]

Boring.

[B]

And don't eat spaghetti Bolognese because it stains your lips and it looks weird.

[A]

Sorry, those are your.

[B]

Those are your, like, three very superficial. I know, and I'm proud of it.

[A]

Spaghetti. Don't sleep with them on the first day.

[B]

Bolognese. Who wants that red, red lip look after? It's not good. You've had a lot dates in your lifetime, haven't you?

[A]

Had my fair share.

[B]

Have you had any nightmare dates?

[A]

Oh, yeah, I've had some nightmare days.

[B]

Well, tell us.

[A]

Basically, I met this girl and we were in a nightclub, so we were sitting down and I invited her out for dinner and when I walked into the restaurant, she was sitting down. Then she stood up and she was about 6 foot 1 and you're 5 foot 5, so just. It didn't quite. She was surprised about my height and I was surprised about her height, so it didn't quite match. That was a bit of a nightmare.

[B]

There's nothing wrong with a short king. I'll tell you what did sound like a nightmare day that you went on and you ate edamame beans and then she ate your shell. Your empty shell.

[A]

Okay, listen, one last piece of housekeeping. Me and Sophie gave all our data some icebreaker questions to get the chat going, because we're good at that. So if you hear any killer icebreakers, just know they came from us. Are you ready for this, boy?

[B]

Am I ready?

[A]

Please welcome in data number uno, Charlie. Welcome, Charlie. Welcome, Charlie. Welcome.

[B]

Thank you, guys. Charlie's from Clapham and she loves to hang out Northcote Records. Is that right?

[C]

I do love a bit of Northcote Records.

[D]

Eagles.

[B]

So if today's date doesn't go well, any boys, you want to find Charlie, that's where you find her.

[C]

Yeah, but no, I went there the other day and I was like, all the boy. I've just seen them on every single dating app and whenever me and my girl mates go, everyone has matched with, like, the same person.

[B]

Oh, my God. Is he. What's he. What's that boy saying? I'm interested.

[C]

No, it's multiple boys.

[B]

Oh, God.

[C]

Yeah. Any.

[B]

Any of them good?

[A]

No, to be fair, if I was single and on a dating app, I would complete it in some sort of way. I would, like, match with everyone.

[B]

No, but you have to be matched back on.

[A]

I would be matched back.

[B]

I don't know about that.

[C]

You had completed.

[A]

Would I be unmatched by everyone Completing.

[B]

It means that you'd, like, have sex with everyone.

[A]

I wouldn't have sex with anyone. No, I wouldn't do that. I would just say that I would try and match with everyone.

[B]

You would try your best to and you would fail miserably.

[A]

What is your type? I just want to know that.

[C]

Oh, God, I don't even know my type and my mates wouldn't even know my type. I go for completely different people, but I think my type now, after I had the incident the other day when everyone had matched in this Pub. I was walking home and I went to a petrol station, got myself a pepper army and I was just walking and I was like, you know what? I want a surfer boy who's just living on the beach, just like chilled outside of London and is.

[B]

Yeah, Curt, we're Brighton. Really?

[C]

Maybe Cornwall.

[A]

You're thinking Bristol.

[C]

Bristol.

[A]

The Bristol. That wave. The fake wave. Yeah, Go there, find a surfer boy.

[B]

What about Blackpool? Isn't that by the sea?

[C]

Blackpool is by the sea.

[B]

Blackpool is by the sea. I used to go there on school trips.

[A]

Okay, Charlie, so we set you up with Joe, a Blackpool born, London bound physio, who loves to travel, loves the gym, hiking and a pint. Let's hear how it went.

[C]

If you had a pub, what would you call it?

[E]

Oh, my God, you couldn't have asked.

[F]

A better question because me and my.

[E]

Mates talk about this all the time.

[C]

No, so do I. We literally, like, this is my. One of my favorite questions is sitting down and being like, right, if you had a pub, like, what. What's it called? Are you doing pub quizzes? What's the food? What's the, like, music situation?

[E]

Yeah, so, I mean, I do think my mates is better. His is called Night of the Realm.

[B]

Oh, I like that.

[E]

But mine was like, I didn't really get the other connotation that it could like be missed, you know, misconstrued. But like a Fiddler's Tale.

[G]

Yeah.

[E]

Well, I was thinking like, oh, you know, like somebody who plays like a fiddle. But then like, I also forgot. Oh, yeah, maybe I broke some. Maybe, you know, maybe give the wrong message across. So I kind of like. That was mine originally, but then I kind of. I've like veered away from that one now based on, I think, owner.

[D]

What.

[C]

What are you doing in the Fiddler's Tail?

[A]

What?

[E]

What doesn't happen in the Fiddler's Tail?

[C]

That is the question.

[A]

So. Okay, let's break this down quickly. So, Soph, what do you think?

[B]

He's so cute. Guys, let's just. I actually love him.

[A]

He wanted to call himself is pub the Fiddlers.

[B]

I'm not mad about it. I'll definitely pop into the Fiddler's Tail.

[A]

What would you call your pub? What was it called?

[C]

The Yawning Horse.

[B]

Did he get to ask you that afterwards?

[D]

Okay, good.

[B]

Yeah.

[C]

And then I probably banged on for hours about my pub quiz there. The dart sports.

[A]

Yeah, yeah. You're reaching for conversation. I get it, I get it. What would. Honey, what would you call your pub?

[B]

The sun and the Moon.

[A]

That's closing down within months. The sun and then boarded up. Okay, Charlie, we have another clip for you. You ready for this?

[B]

Yeah, let's go.

[D]

Here we go.

[C]

If you planned our first date, where are you taking me?

[E]

I'm guessing this is, like, ideal circumstances. Like, you've woken up, it's beautiful day, like sunshine, A nice cloud in the sky. Birds are chirping.

[C]

Birds are chirping.

[E]

I'm setting the scene.

[C]

I'm picturing it. I'm picturing it.

[E]

Yeah, yeah. Just close your eyes if you want. If you want to visualize it more, I think.

[C]

No, the fact I'm actually sat here with my eyes closed is a bit strange.

[A]

No, no, no, no.

[E]

I really. I appreciate the effort. So I think I'd probably look at doing something outdoors, but maybe like, something if it's in the city. Like going to, like, a canal or something when it's like a sunny day, maybe like, just like, park it. You're not park. Not park up, but, like, kind of find somewhere to sit. Maybe like a bit of a picnic vibe.

[C]

This is like the perfect answer because I was speaking to my mates about this and they were like, oh, what would you do? And I was like, it would have to be near water involved with picnic. Nice sunny day. Didn't mention the bird chirping, but we can throw that in there.

[E]

I mean, I mean. I mean, do you not want any birds chirping? Like, kind of a deal breaker for you?

[C]

Yeah, I know it is. Now, what are we having on our picnic? What food?

[E]

I mean, obviously I'd probably, you know, extend the question. Like, you know, any dietary requirements?

[A]

Are you.

[E]

Any preferences? Like, you're vegetarian or you just. You just eat anything and everything?

[C]

I eat pretty much everything. This is going to make me sound snobby, but it's actually not. Apart from lobster, because lobster are my favorite animals. Whenever I say that, I then sound like I'm just there eating lobster. Left rye rhubarb.

[E]

You can't get. You can't, like, move a lobster in your house. Like, it's just everywhere.

[A]

Like, honestly, I think you're a great dater.

[B]

Me too.

[A]

If I went on a date with you and I had that conversation, I'd be like, this guy's a vibe just so unboring. Yeah, that's what you want. And your favorite animal is a lobster?

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

Why a lobster?

[B]

Because you want to find your lobster.

[C]

I want to find my lobster.

[B]

They come in pairs.

[A]

What's your favorite animal?

[D]

A turtle.

[C]

She wants to find her turtle.

[A]

Well, she's found her turtle and he's right here, so. I know. No more looking for that. Okay, Charlie, we have one more clip.

[C]

Okay, I'm nervous.

[A]

And then we're going to chat through the whole vibe. Let's play the final clip.

[C]

Are you a reserved and coy romantic like Mr. Darcy or an explosive romantic like J. Gatsby?

[E]

Well, I think I'd be more a bit of Mr. Darcy. I'd probably lean to Darcy. But then again, like, I'd say Jay Gatsby was probably quite coy. He, like, threw all these amazing parties, but it was all just so. Just in case, you know, his kind of, like, love eventually turned up, wasn't it? So it's kind of like he's explosive, but he's not. Also kind of, like, not very direct. I think I'm probably more direct, but maybe a bit more subtle.

[B]

Interesting.

[D]

Oh, no.

[B]

He's so sweet. I really, really like him. I hope you like.

[A]

Okay, listen, this is the big question.

[B]

Are you keen to see your day in real life?

[C]

I don't know what Charlie get.

[B]

No, I didn't expect that.

[C]

No, I actually don't know.

[A]

Let's break this down. Let's just break this down very quickly.

[C]

There's a lot to unpack.

[A]

The beginning, it felt like it was an interview.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

And then I went from thinking Joe was, like, a bit boring to actually, no, he's got a bit of conversation. He's really nice. He's maybe wholesome.

[B]

He's a lovely, lovely gu. He's a family man.

[C]

But is he too sweet?

[A]

But that's what you want.

[B]

You've only seen one side of him. Surely you want to see the other side.

[D]

What?

[C]

I also. Yeah, I feel like I'm intrigued.

[A]

He also. I feel like he likes lobsters.

[C]

I think he might.

[B]

I think he might.

[C]

He might be my lobster.

[A]

Okay, so the big question for you right now is this. Are you going to text them or not text them?

[C]

I'm gonna text him.

[B]

Let's go.

[A]

Let's go, Charlie.

[B]

Let's go.

[A]

What are you gonna send in the message?

[C]

Oh, no.

[A]

Will you be my lobster?

[C]

Shall I?

[B]

I think maybe a bit full on.

[C]

Okay. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[A]

Okay. So you're gonna text him.

[C]

Yep.

[A]

I'm proud of you. Even though we've just met.

[B]

Big moves.

[C]

Thanks, guys.

[A]

And I think it's gonna be the most wondrous thing. Will you keep us up to date with what happens?

[C]

I absolutely will.

[A]

Charlie, we love you, man. You're the greatest. Good luck, Charlie. Thank you. So much.

[C]

Thanks, guys.

[D]

Tom, hi.

[A]

Hi, Tom. Hello.

[D]

Good to see you.

[B]

I love your accent. Where are you from?

[D]

Belfast.

[A]

The best from the back of the hut have.

[D]

Oh, sorry, what was that?

[A]

The Belfast acts at the back of the.

[D]

That's more Liverpool.

[B]

That's spice. So lovely. I listen to it all day.

[A]

Tom, you said you're a little bit gassy.

[D]

Oh, my God. Stop out your mouth rather than acid reflexes. No, I just. I can't like, stop like, I'm like, burping a bit over the.

[B]

Have you got pregnancy symptoms in Sympathy for Me? Acid reflux.

[D]

That's what's happening.

[B]

You saw me and you thought, I'll make her feel less.

[D]

Well, you guys spoke recently about, like. What's it like, the word for a phantom pregnancy or something? You have it. I kind of have it too. I feel.

[B]

I really appreciate that. I love you.

[D]

We're all kind of pregnant. It's beautiful.

[A]

We should start a family together. Yeah, we should all move in together and start a family.

[D]

It wouldn't be weird. It would be, like, really nice.

[A]

You know, I could grow a mustache like you.

[D]

Yeah. Yeah. Okay.

[B]

I could also.

[D]

You could. You could grow like, all of our pregnant tummies just, like, touching and all, like.

[B]

I know. No photos of just.

[D]

No, I. I feel like I made a weird thing, like, kind of weirder.

[A]

Our family photos would just be us through mustaches.

[D]

Yes. Yeah.

[A]

Philly, talk to me about recent dating history.

[D]

This year I feel like was. Was different from, like, all the other years. Like, why. This year was kind of bonkers. I. My Saturn's returning, guys. It's, you know.

[B]

So you're 27? 28.

[D]

27. Yes. I feel like this year I've been very, like. Even when I really didn't want to do it, I've just been doing it more to. To do it, you know?

[A]

So you're saying you kissed a lot of people?

[D]

Oh, my God.

[B]

Were there any.

[A]

Let's freaking go. 27's that year.

[D]

Crazy.

[B]

How many days a week are we talking?

[D]

It would be like a quiet month. And then like, July was like.

[A]

Guys.

[B]

Tom, give it to me.

[D]

I feel like there was like a week that was like seven. Seven for seven.

[B]

Take a bow.

[D]

Right?

[A]

Seven for seven. Let's go.

[D]

It was like, by the end, I was just.

[A]

Did you kiss everyone?

[D]

No.

[B]

You were exhausted by the end, I bet.

[D]

Yeah. Because you're getting to like, the rehearsed thing and it's like. Yeah, yeah. I'm from Belfast and I have three siblings and a dog. Called Molly. You know, like, it's like, how was.

[B]

The acid reflux on the date?

[D]

Crazy. I'm like, oh, I just need to go to the toilet here. And then I like, erupt. And I really hate this part of my narrative, the acid reflux thing. Like, we can remove. Can't be my.

[A]

You've never had acid reflux?

[D]

Never. Never completely.

[A]

You nervous when you go on dates? I imagine you'.

[D]

Okay, because this year got rid of the nerves that I was always nervous. I feel like gay boys, like, don't date a lot. Oh, my God, the violins are playing. But, like, I didn't do it through uni at all. And then, like, post uni, I feel like I've just been trying to, like, throw myself.

[A]

Oh, yeah, you've caught up for lost time.

[D]

That's exactly what it is. A gay boy has, like, a delayed youth.

[B]

I think I need to just quickly ask about this. Ghosting is the new thing. It's 2025's thing, isn't it?

[D]

I think so. It's kind of Chicago. No, it's a straight up ghost.

[B]

You go on a three date someone and then what, you just never talked?

[D]

I've had a few. Like, like, you know, sometimes it's a thing. Like, actually the. The lengths people will go to to say that they don't want to date you anymore is kind of bonkers. Like, what? Give me, like, I'm just, like, going through a lot right now and whatever, and it's like, babe, just like, say you don't want to go on a date again. Like, it's not. Do you know, like, it's not deep. Your friend is not having an emergency today. You are fine. You're actually not stressed at work. Okay, sure.

[A]

I know what you mean, though. I know.

[D]

Do you know it's like, to stop themselves from ghosting, they feel like they need an elaborate excuse.

[B]

You'd rather the ghosting.

[D]

I'd rather the ghost rather than you take me for a damn film.

[A]

But hang on, Tom.

[D]

Have you.

[B]

Do you.

[A]

Do you just play? You go, I don't want to date you again. Or do you come up with an excuse?

[D]

No, no. Like, I have ghosted myself, to be fair, because you're just like. I just, like, don't want to deal with that.

[B]

So I'm sorry, did they double text you, like, three times in a row and you're like, babe, get the message?

[D]

Some of them have. Yeah. Yeah. I mean, I'm saying that as if I'm like, Casanova, like, yeah, they're Texting me. Oh, my God, my phone's going up there. Dam. You know, like, no. Like, not many people are double texting me, to be honest. You know.

[A]

God, it's sometimes too much.

[D]

God. Yeah, yeah, yeah. No, but my. I have a very varied dating history. I've never had a boyfriend.

[A]

What?

[D]

I know. Oh, shock.

[A]

Yeah, it is a shock.

[G]

You're great.

[D]

Oh, thank you. I mean, we've known each other for seven minutes, but, like.

[A]

Yeah, I thought it was a strong bond.

[B]

We feel pregnant together.

[D]

Yeah.

[B]

Like, unites us.

[D]

Oh, I have. I've got my family, but, like, I, you know, I've never had a boyfriend. It's true.

[B]

Do you think now 27 Saturn returns. Now it's time you want to have a boyfriend?

[D]

I'm ready. Yeah, I'm ready to, like, you know, share this. Yeah, this to, like, send like, a picture of, like, the dinner I made and be like, oh, I made this. Do you know, let me just.

[A]

Let me feel like I'm part of it. What dinner are you sending me?

[D]

Like, well, like last night, it was like a sweet potato, a salmon kind of a thing. Yeah, I like to cook, to be fair. I'm in.

[A]

Sorry.

[B]

You could date me.

[D]

Yeah, come on ahead.

[A]

Yeah, I don't think you're Tom's type.

[D]

I don't know. Great hair, you know?

[A]

Okay, okay, okay. So, Tom, we set you on a date with George.

[D]

Yes, George.

[A]

George, a festival marketeer with a dry sense of humor who loves gigs, fitness, and shares your taste in books. We have a little clip from the first date. Are you ready for this?

[D]

Not at all. I have gay voice, guys. It's always a shock when I hear it back. I'm like, who is she drinking? Kidding.

[A]

Here we go. Here we go.

[D]

Well, George.

[F]

Hi, Tom.

[D]

This is kind of like 90s style or something, isn't it? Like, doing it over the phone.

[F]

Yeah. This is my first time doing something like this, so it's a bit bizarre, but I'm very much appreciating having my camera off. What do you do, Tom?

[D]

I'm an actor. I'm sorry.

[F]

Nice. Okay. Why are you sorry?

[D]

No, it's just. It's a wishy washy answer.

[F]

Why is it wishy washy?

[D]

Maybe I'm just projecting. That's what it is. Yeah, I'm an actor, but I have no work, so I teach kids to sing and dance instead.

[F]

Have you been in anything that I would know?

[D]

No.

[E]

Not yet.

[D]

Primarily, I sort of will do whatever pays the bills, but I am primarily a musical theater Actor.

[F]

Okay, cool.

[D]

Yeah. Like, I did a show last year called the Choir of Man. It's like nine straight men in flannel and skinny jeans with guitars. It's. What do you do?

[F]

I run the marketing for a few music festivals.

[D]

Oh, wow.

[F]

So, yeah, I do Field day in London, Hideout, which is in Croatia, and then a ski one called Snowbottom.

[B]

Can I just say, he sounds hot.

[D]

He has a nice voice upon reflection, doesn't he? He's got a gorge. He does. Can you not? Did you not love that? I was like, immediately spinning out in like the first one minute. I'm like, yeah, I'm an actor. I'm sorry. Yeah, it's pretty wishy washy. Like, it was like, you're trying to be charming. Which I was like speaking into silence as well. Like, I was just.

[B]

He was incredibly cool, calm and collected.

[D]

He was. I was.

[B]

Which would throw and spin me out too.

[D]

Right. Because even though it was like there was no visual, like, I'm there being like. Like I moving my hands. Do you know what I mean? Like, as if he can see.

[A]

Is it strange when you don't? Because you said it's like 90s when you can't see them. Was that a bit disconcerting?

[D]

It was giving Landline. It was giving, you know, like, hello. Like, maybe I'm like a girl from the 90s on the hotline sort of a thing.

[A]

Do you know, from the start I'm kind of getting a good vibe, but I don't know what happens, but I'm feeling like there's a bit of a connection going.

[B]

Me too. I feel like you were flustered in the sense that you fancied him personally.

[D]

Oh, wow. God, you guys are all about the Hollywood about the rom com and all.

[A]

Okay, before we listen to the clip, a little bit of context. This is where Tom reveals about his failed entry into Berghain on a recent trip to Berlin.

[D]

I didn't get into Berghain, so.

[F]

No. Did you try?

[D]

I did, yeah.

[A]

Yeah.

[D]

But it was. I get to the door and he was like, I didn't queue at all. There was no line when I went. And we went like 11pm I went. And he asked me first in German and then I don't speak German. So I was like. I just stared at him and then he was like, like, where are you going tonight? And I'm thinking, what do you mean, where am I going? I'm literally at the door, babe.

[F]

Obviously coming here.

[G]

Yeah.

[C]

And that's what I just said because.

[D]

I know that On a Friday. It's all cordoned off. Apart from the bar upstairs.

[F]

Yeah, it's just Panorama Bar.

[D]

Oh, sorry. I didn't realize I was talking to a veteran.

[F]

I've only been once, but it was on the Friday and yeah, we did get in, but Panorama Bar was the only bit that was open. Okay, go on. What were you wearing?

[E]

No.

[D]

Okay. So, like, I. I didn't know that we were going until, like, hours before. And my son was like, just black. So the only black I had with me was my, like, running shorts. Okay. And a vest. Like, it was giving. It was giving PE gear. Do you know what I mean?

[F]

When you. When you've got cross country at five and back.

[D]

Forgotten. I put on a little denim jacket over it. It was silly.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Do you know what?

[B]

Can I just say, George is so sweet.

[D]

You're in love with George.

[B]

I really am.

[D]

Yeah. No, he was nice, actually. He is.

[B]

Well, Tom, you're obviously in love with you first.

[D]

I'm being a bit like on the date and he's very chill.

[B]

Can I just say, you're giving, like, perfect duo to me.

[D]

Oh, really? Okay.

[B]

And this is not me, to be fair.

[D]

The conversation doth flow like it was. You know, it was.

[A]

But I think you flow with. Flow with everyone.

[B]

Don't. No, no. I think there was flirtation.

[D]

I don't know. He's very cool. Like, he got into Berghain and I didn't.

[A]

Because you're wearing a vest and shorts.

[D]

I looked so, so, so stupid. Like, it was really. It was. It was a joke. I was like. It was like a little, like a tank top and like, little running shorts and it just felt. Have you ever seen that meme of Patrick and spongebob? But they're in, like, edited to be in the Lady Gaga Ariana Grande Rain on Me gear. And it's. I just felt like I was in a costume. Do you know, like, and then when we didn't get in, I was like, I have never felt more stupid in my life. And he just. He was like, not tonight, guys. I was like, okay, thank you.

[A]

I speak German.

[D]

I speak German. Yeah. Go to Nabent.

[A]

Okay, Tom, we have a final clip for you.

[D]

Oh, God.

[A]

I'm excited for this because this is real. I feel like this is a real narrative arc.

[D]

Fire away, Far away. If you were doing a talent show, what would you do to impress the judges?

[F]

Oh, my God, what would I do?

[D]

I don't know.

[F]

Nothing that hugely springs to mind. I'm alright at cycling. I can do no Hands. Maybe I'd do that.

[D]

Are you like, an East London boy? That's like reading a book while cycling.

[F]

I don't know if I could quite do reading a book whilst cycling, but not. What would you do?

[D]

I can make a boing noise.

[F]

A boing noise?

[D]

Yeah. Well, no, I can't do it. No. Because I'm under pressure.

[F]

Oh, no, come on, you've got to. That was quite good, actually. I'm quite impressed.

[A]

Did you ever think you were going to go on a date and make a boing noise?

[D]

No. Like, why did I do that?

[B]

Sounds so impressive. Could you do it again?

[D]

And I'm. Hey, the technique was pretty good. You need, like, loads of jaw attention. Yeah.

[A]

All right, my turn. Serious. Let me try one more time.

[D]

That was gay.

[A]

I'm not sure if the date. I can't quite tell what happened on the date. Okay. But the big question is this, Tom.

[B]

Would you like to see your date in real life?

[D]

Oh, yeah, sure. Go on.

[B]

I think he'll be fit.

[D]

Life is for living, guys.

[B]

I love that.

[A]

So, wait, you're going to text him?

[D]

Yeah, I think so.

[A]

Okay, what are we gonna say in the text?

[D]

Hey, it's Tom from the date. Like, hey, sorry, I'm being, like, quirky. Hey, George, it's Tom from the Blind Diet. Do you want to go for a walk? I don't know. Do you want to go to Barkayne?

[G]

Yeah.

[A]

There we go. There we go. And I promise I won't bring the vest this time.

[D]

Yes.

[A]

No, just.

[B]

Do you want to go to Barkhain? Finish.

[A]

Yeah, I think that's nice. And then say PS if you can't remember, I'm the one who made the boing noise.

[D]

Right.

[B]

Okay, so just go P S. Boing.

[D]

Just like, xx. And then in, like, the square brackets, boing. You know, with loads of O's.

[A]

I think it's that. So I think you have to send a message saying, okay, hey, George, would you like to go to Berghain with me?

[D]

Yes.

[F]

Slay.

[A]

Can I just say, Tom, you.

[B]

You're a slay.

[A]

You're a slay. You're a slay. And we love you.

[D]

I've had such a good time.

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

I'm such a Fae. Anytime.

[D]

Oh, thank you, guys.

[A]

Well, everyone, welcome to the third dater. It's dapper. Let's go Dapper. You actually have a podcast as well, don't you?

[G]

I do indeed. I do indeed.

[A]

What's it called called?

[G]

Vinyl Resting Place.

[A]

Man, I love that. Podcasts and podcasters gathering the Room is like a melting pot of creation. Okay, so, Dapo, listen. Dating history. Give it to me.

[G]

Bad.

[B]

How bad?

[G]

Like, ups and downs. I've had some really, really good ones and I've had some really, really bad ones. I'm one of those people who's perpetually single, if I'm being honest. One long term relationship in my 27 years of life. The rest of them very much like situationships, shall we say?

[A]

Okay.

[D]

Yeah. Okay.

[A]

Okay. And what? What, you. It doesn't work out for you, for them, or both?

[G]

I'm often the dumper. Yeah. Not like in a bad way. I'm very respectful when it comes to it. But I think I'm one of those people who thinks that relationships should add to your life, not take away a.

[B]

Bit of a commitment phobe I'm hearing.

[G]

I mean, not the words that I would use, but.

[A]

So what would a red flag be on a date?

[G]

A red flag for me is somebody who doesn't laugh at my jokes, I think. No, I just. I just. I like funny people. I think people. Yeah, I like funny people.

[A]

Okay. And. And so a green flag is someone who laughs at your jokes.

[G]

Yeah. Or who makes me laugh. I think someone who makes me laugh.

[B]

That's double green.

[G]

Double green, yeah.

[B]

So, Dapo, you were set up on a date with Ari, a jet setter from North London with high standards, and she's looking for a man who can cook and is always up for an adventure. I want to know how it went.

[A]

Just quickly, before we play the first clip. Can you cook?

[G]

I can cook. I'm not great. This came up on the date as well. I shot myself in the foot.

[A]

Let's play the clip.

[G]

Do you play Padel a lot?

[H]

I do love Padel. I feel like you have to go, like you have to undersell yourself with these things because if I say I'm like a big Padel fan, then I'm gonna get called out. But I like it a lot. After Indonesia, I went to Portugal with, like, my home friends, and it was basically ended up being a Padel holiday. Like every day we'd go down, do these tournaments. So I'm a fan. Yeah.

[G]

Okay.

[A]

Okay.

[G]

Pretty good.

[H]

It's expensive in London.

[G]

It is so expensive. The reason I ask is because my housemate is literally just about to open his own paddle club.

[D]

Wow.

[H]

Is he single?

[G]

He's not, unfortunately. This is my day.

[B]

That's a bit weird.

[G]

A bit weird.

[B]

Slightly Red flag vibes.

[G]

A little bit.

[A]

A little flirty vibes.

[B]

All flirty, yeah.

[A]

Keeping on Your toes dapper.

[G]

She did give it back a lot. I was. I was intrigued by the. The chat that she gave.

[B]

I think there's an element of her trying to flirt. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

[D]

Okay.

[A]

Okay, so this. This feels like it's good. Okay, we know that she might be active because she plays paddle. That feels exciting. Okay, we have one more clip. Let's play this.

[H]

If I came over for dinner, what dish are you whipping up to impress me?

[G]

I would say the best thing that I make is a crumble. Like, I'm not, like, an amazing chef, but I do a lot of, like, hearty stuff, so I would probably. Do you like pineapples?

[H]

I do like pineapples.

[G]

I do an amazing pineapple crumble, which I would probably.

[H]

I like pineapples, but, like, not into.

[G]

Well, that's random then, isn't it?

[H]

I'm sure I can be convinced.

[C]

It sounds.

[G]

You don't sound convinced.

[B]

No, no, I know.

[H]

I think. I think I could be turned. But my go to is also, like, a very hearty pasta dish, like a tango telly with some, like, boursan melted in and, like, prawns and chorizo. Yeah, it slaps, but, oh, yeah.

[G]

It's pretty damn good, actually.

[H]

So I think that could go well with your pineapple situation.

[G]

Yeah, I can be the sous chef. Yeah, I provide. That's a given. I provide wine and tunes. That's literally where I excel. Good chat. Wine and tunes.

[C]

Perfect.

[H]

Half the meal, perfect.

[G]

Exactly, exactly. It's all about the company. It's not even about the food. Right, right.

[A]

Sorry.

[B]

Sorry. You guys are in love.

[A]

Are you in love with each other?

[B]

She loves you too. I can sense it. Honestly, I can hear it in her voice.

[A]

You're both in love.

[B]

Me too. I've got body tingles.

[A]

Is that what it's called? Body tingles?

[B]

I don't know, but let's call it that.

[A]

Okay. Okay. So this is. This is obviously. This is exciting.

[G]

This is good.

[A]

Okay, we have a big question to ask. What is it, Dappo?

[B]

Would you like to see your date in real life?

[G]

I think I would.

[A]

It's three for three, everyone. It's three for three.

[F]

Whoa.

[A]

Dappo. Okay, here we go. So you're gonna message her?

[G]

Yeah, I'll message her.

[A]

What are you gonna say?

[G]

Either something about going for dinner or try set up that game of paddle.

[B]

I think. The paddle.

[G]

The paddle.

[A]

Something a little bit active, I'm gonna say. Would you like to try my crumble? Oh, man. I just feel like this is like romance.

[B]

Like, I can hear the wedding bells.

[A]

Are we invited to the wedding?

[G]

Of course.

[B]

Course.

[A]

Depo. Listen, you're great. I hope it works out for you. Ari sounds amazing. I love this. Let's go, baby.

[B]

Let's go.

[A]

Can I just say, everything about that was phenomenal.

[B]

Oh. Unbelievable.

[A]

From start to finish, I have body goosebumps.

[B]

Dappo had the sweetest smile and laugh.

[A]

Sweetest smile. So. And Charlie. Charlie the flower. If I. If I got Tom's mustache, would you like that? That?

[B]

No, because yours wouldn't look quite as prominent as Tom's.

[A]

I think it would look a little bit.

[B]

I don't think it would.

[A]

Okay. I love that. I'm excited for them. That's three for three. I think we should do this again.

[B]

Me, too.

[A]

And before you go, I just want to say again, a huge, huge thank you to Audible for setting up this brilliant episode. And remember, guys, Audible is the leading home of audio Entertainment, with over 850,000 audio books and podcasts to appeal to all interests and passions. Along with all the latest and greatest of audiobooks, Audible is also home to a rich collection of Audible originals titles that you can only find on Audible. This includes immersive audio experiences that take audio content to the next level. And we love that.

[B]

That is right. And coming September 9th is their latest release, an exciting new audiobook, Pride and Prejudice, performed by the amazing Marissa Abella and Harris Dickinson.

[A]

I know you're gonna get excited, all right. You can get excited and chill out. Now users are able to take a free trial where their first book is on us. There's more to imagine when you listen with Audible. Visit audible.co.uk for terms. See you later, alligators.

[B]

Bye, crocodile.

[A]

My crocodile.