
In this episode of NDS Chronicles, David L. Corbo and Matt Hepner read and react to real paranormal testimonies submitted by listeners—covering shadow figures, sleep paralysis, haunted houses, children seeing entities, occult objects, and what happens...
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Top Lobster
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Matt Hepner
You know, I'm hitting the restaurants everyone's talking about.
Top Lobster
Plus, with the digital entertainment credit, I'm even more excited to catch my favorite shows.
Matt Hepner
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Matt Hepner
Top Lobster Productions. Today.
David Lee Corbo
When the last trumpet sound sounds and the heavens crack. Welcome back, ladies and gentlemen, to another episode of NDS Chronicles, the show where we read your paranormal testimony. I am David Lee Corbo, aka the Raven, that is Top Lobster, the father of Mr. B and Mr. He's Mr. Nasty. And that's Matt Hepner.
Top Lobster
Not Nasty, the merchant of brown water.
Matt Hepner
You need to learn how to be a little nastier.
Top Lobster
Well, we got a first day. We have enough close lesson five minutes.
David Lee Corbo
We got enough nasty for the both of us.
Matt Hepner
You see what I mean? I mean, I wish you guys would have seen that, but I feel like I gotta defend. I gotta defend people. I gotta defend my honor. I gotta defend the show, dude.
Top Lobster
Defend cuss words.
Matt Hepner
I gotta defend nastiness.
David Lee Corbo
Not cuss words, not curses. We're not speaking curses.
Top Lobster
Not curse.
Matt Hepner
We bless Israel.
David Lee Corbo
God bless Israel. Guys, if you want to submit your paranormal testimonies that we may mock you on the show. Chronicles. NDS gmail.com Chronicles.
Matt Hepner
Yeah.
David Lee Corbo
What the hell's the email?
Matt Hepner
I don't know.
David Lee Corbo
Hold on.
Matt Hepner
He hates the plugs. Like, he loves the plugs.
David Lee Corbo
There it is. Chronicles.
Top Lobster
I'm just trying to find what you said.
David Lee Corbo
I saw it a second ago and then it vanished. Chronicles. Nephilim Death Squad dot com. There you go. There's the email. If you want to submit it, we're going to make fun of you. It's going to feel bad, but it'll feel great for us. Also a great way to Support the show. Patreon.com/now/nephilim death School.
Matt Hepner
The Patreon is popping off.
David Lee Corbo
Patreon is popping off.
Matt Hepner
Yeah. We've been doing, like, everything right on a handstand. See, this is what my dad was saying.
David Lee Corbo
That's not a curse word.
Matt Hepner
Yes, it is. You can't say those things.
David Lee Corbo
I just did.
Matt Hepner
I know, but this is also a Christian show, so we. We need to be careful.
David Lee Corbo
You can go and get some discount codes off of merchandise and toplops.com on that website. Patreon.com forward/nephilim death Squad. You also gain early access to episodes and in unedited versions of them.
Matt Hepner
Oh, you guys have been getting your shirts too, from.
David Lee Corbo
Yeah, yeah.
Matt Hepner
I've seen a couple of standard shirts out there. I've seen a couple of straight Bible shirts. Yep. They're getting the word out.
David Lee Corbo
People have been posting it. And you know what they say?
Matt Hepner
Very comfy.
David Lee Corbo
That's what they. They actually do say that they. Hoodies and shirts that come from top lobster.com are high quality. But I got to warn you, very comfy.
Matt Hepner
You don't want to be comfy. That doesn't want. You don't want that to be your life basis. That's a problem.
David Lee Corbo
Fine line between comfy and cozy. Yeah, we're being honest. You want to be comfy.
Matt Hepner
Good boy.
David Lee Corbo
You don't want to be cozy.
Matt Hepner
Let's talk about it.
David Lee Corbo
Let's talk about it.
Matt Hepner
Okay.
David Lee Corbo
What are we talking about?
Matt Hepner
Comfy versus cozy.
David Lee Corbo
Comfy is a thing you wear. Cozy is a way of life.
Matt Hepner
Like wearing squeaky shoes with no laces and sweatpants to work.
David Lee Corbo
Embarrassing.
Matt Hepner
But you. Working. But you. You're standing.
David Lee Corbo
That's a great.
Matt Hepner
Demanding.
David Lee Corbo
Yes. A brown water shop cozy.
Matt Hepner
I can't be bothered to wear underwear.
David Lee Corbo
Yeah. Or. Or do labor or. Or, and, and, and, and.
Matt Hepner
Or nothing.
David Lee Corbo
That's a good point. Yeah, I like that. Guys, be comfy, but don't be cozy.
Matt Hepner
Don't be Cozy.
David Lee Corbo
That's disgusting.
Matt Hepner
You can be comfy with top lobster dot com.
David Lee Corbo
That's right.
Matt Hepner
We David his own buttons.
David Lee Corbo
I got the buttons.
Top Lobster
Dude, I'm not doing this.
David Lee Corbo
I'm really excited.
Matt Hepner
I love it.
David Lee Corbo
This little stream deck is awesome. I want to sort of show this to the camera. Hey, camera, look at me.
Top Lobster
Not loud enough. How do we get a louder one?
David Lee Corbo
Well, I don't know. Why won't it look at me. Nancy, switch to camera too. I want to look at. Look at how tiny it is. It's a little baby stream deck. It's so cute, man. I love it.
Matt Hepner
Yeah, I'll lift them. This is a mistake.
Top Lobster
Yeah, we shouldn't have gave him one.
David Lee Corbo
That's a great button. So we're gonna start with some stories today, and I hope you guys really do. If you have any strange experiences and. And you'd like to submit them chroniclesephilandesquad.com I highly recommend getting torn down by us. Actually, we were talking to Nicholas.
Matt Hepner
Nope, that's not his name.
David Lee Corbo
Nicholas Daigle.
Matt Hepner
Oh, yeah.
David Lee Corbo
I was like, dude, what? The other day. And he has that, that book. Genesis 6 and the Ozarks.
Matt Hepner
Yeah, very good.
David Lee Corbo
He actually said that, you know, he. He was already part of the show once and it was on Chronicles. And we mocked him relentlessly. Yeah, that's what he said.
Matt Hepner
That was.
Top Lobster
Oh, that was Zach, the pastor. We knew it was going to be Zach. He was talking about.
Matt Hepner
Oh, really? My God.
David Lee Corbo
Oh, the 501C3 system. Zach.
Top Lobster
Yes.
Matt Hepner
Oh, my goodness. The level of.
Top Lobster
Really don't remember that.
David Lee Corbo
I don't remember much of anything these days.
Matt Hepner
This guy, he's busy napping. He's busy maybe showing up for work, maybe.
Top Lobster
Bro, when we were like, where are you?
Matt Hepner
And he was like, I'm being cold. It was fine.
David Lee Corbo
I was awake.
Top Lobster
Like a bear coming out of hibernation.
David Lee Corbo
Sprung a show on me. No, yesterday. No, we never said anything yesterday. We just. He said, I got jiu jitsu with the kids. And then that was where we left it.
Top Lobster
That was way early yesterday afternoon.
David Lee Corbo
That was as I was walking out of the door and you know, I was actually thinking maybe. Because when do you do the jiu jitsu with the kids? It's. It's.
Matt Hepner
I can't tell the people that.
Top Lobster
If we can just deal with the 700 pound gorilla in the room. Top's dad came in and reprimanded him for saying cuss words. And when I walked in, you could cut the tension with a knife.
Matt Hepner
I don't curse on this show.
Top Lobster
I was like, whoa, whoa, what just happened? There was like this major tension. Like there was something tangibly in the room. And then it was just like this wild west showdown between Top and his dad. Dude, over the cuss words. Should we like talk about that or. I mean, we've got to get past that before we start the show.
David Lee Corbo
No, I mean, I think it all went fine.
Matt Hepner
Bring it up.
David Lee Corbo
Yeah. What are your thoughts on it then?
Top Lobster
I mean, I caught the tail end of it. I was just like, the dad's the nicest guy in the world. Like, what do you mean we're beefing with him now?
David Lee Corbo
I would think it was just. It was a father son struggle that I. I had to bear witness to.
Matt Hepner
Okay, I'll say this. We're gonna go solo on me, Nancy.
David Lee Corbo
Okay.
Matt Hepner
This is Matt. Thank you. David's problem. They suffer with issues of confrontation.
David Lee Corbo
I'm not doing this.
Matt Hepner
Yes. So no.
Top Lobster
Some of us like peace.
Matt Hepner
I like peace too.
Top Lobster
We, and we just look at the earth and we go, okay. There's not really a need for tension and hostility in every relationship.
Matt Hepner
I was at peace. Well, I mean, until I wasn't.
David Lee Corbo
I thought it was reasonable.
Top Lobster
Oh, until you weren't. Then what happened?
Matt Hepner
Well, he said that we cursed too much on the show. Yeah.
David Lee Corbo
Which I don't know if that's true or not, but.
Top Lobster
I missed it all. But what was his whole statement?
Matt Hepner
He said, you know, you're in Matt's coffee shop, casino in Christian library. But what he did say was that there is a Christian library right behind you.
David Lee Corbo
And, and there's something right now.
Top Lobster
And he said, hey, have a little respect.
Matt Hepner
Have some respect for the old. Even though they don't, like, they don't respect us.
David Lee Corbo
They literally don't. What were they playing?
Top Lobster
Frank.
David Lee Corbo
Frank Sinatra the other day?
Top Lobster
They're nasty to me, so I'm gonna be nasty to them.
Matt Hepner
I wasn't nasty. I helped him.
David Lee Corbo
Yeah.
Matt Hepner
Six million. Never forget I helped him.
Top Lobster
Okay. What was your mom doing the whole time then? She.
David Lee Corbo
Was that what she was doing? Because I didn't go.
Matt Hepner
And you tell him, you tell him.
David Lee Corbo
Tell him to stop swearing. Tell this 36 year old man to stop swearing.
Matt Hepner
So I told my dad, my dad that.
David Lee Corbo
No, no, I don't think I will.
Top Lobster
Yeah.
David Lee Corbo
Yeah.
Matt Hepner
And it's not, it's not even. Because, like, we're like, we're not even overly cursing. I feel like, I feel like we have cleaned up the show. We've.
Top Lobster
Somebody has to break the nasty chat.
David Lee Corbo
Have we cleaned up the show chat. Is this real?
Matt Hepner
Chat. Is this real?
David Lee Corbo
Because I feel like we have cleaned up the show quite a bit.
Matt Hepner
Chad. Press, press. F U C K In the chat, if we've cleaned up the show, I feel like we have cleaned it up. I. I feel like I haven't been as bad, and people know how bad I have been. Yeah. As a matter of fact, from paying customers, from paying patrons, the complaints that I've gotten was the show's too clean now.
Top Lobster
Yeah, yeah. They're like black the way it's going.
Matt Hepner
Yeah, yeah. And I'm not gonna. I'm not gonna say slurs for you.
David Lee Corbo
And I'm not slur monkey.
Matt Hepner
I'm not gonna not say slurs for you, dad. So now I'm caught in between.
David Lee Corbo
Do I just learn? Yeah, that is. That's a hard place to be.
Matt Hepner
No, you curse when you curse when it's necessary.
Top Lobster
Right?
David Lee Corbo
As.
Matt Hepner
As a word expression, as a sentence enhancer. That's what we do here. Right.
David Lee Corbo
I would say that's fair.
Matt Hepner
Now, if I'm cursing like Toad. Toad is a person who is based. But I have had to tell him multiple times, toad, you're cursing. Occur. Not just cursing, but like you're using racial slurs just to use them. If you use them and they. And. And somebody goes, oh, dang. Like, I use the N word with.
David Lee Corbo
Matt the one time. What?
Top Lobster
I don't like not saying it.
Matt Hepner
He didn't like it.
David Lee Corbo
I'm sorry.
Top Lobster
I'm a grown up.
Matt Hepner
Of course I don't, like, used it for a reason. We were talking about. We were talking about things that you can and can't say. Restrictions and. And like what people will allow in polite society.
David Lee Corbo
Yeah.
Matt Hepner
So I. I dropped that in there to make a. Spice it up. Yeah. It's not just spicing it up, though, but it's to make a point. Like. No, these are just words like, I've taken the power away from this.
Top Lobster
No, there's a lot of hatred in this nation behind that word. There's a lot of hostility and hatred.
David Lee Corbo
We're not going down this. Right. Just say, I see where you're coming from.
Matt Hepner
No, we can go down this road.
David Lee Corbo
No, it's. We gotta. We gotta read a story about this note that flees, by the way, someone's husband and homosexual men.
Matt Hepner
All right, let everybody wait. Let the record show. Matt, if you could. If you could just show the money.
David Lee Corbo
Oh, that we did, in fact, pay Matt.
Matt Hepner
We paid him.
David Lee Corbo
Please, Matt, can you say. Can you confirm. Put it on wax, baby.
Matt Hepner
I should have Gave it to him on the show, right?
Top Lobster
No, I went over with the accountant, and they're like, hey, look, the electric bill has gone up and skyrocketed for five months.
David Lee Corbo
Okay, Let it be known now we've.
Top Lobster
Been paid for one month.
David Lee Corbo
Yes, that's right.
Top Lobster
Of additional electric. So I'm only out of pocket. Four months electric.
Matt Hepner
How much do you think he charges those Olds for the sewing machine?
David Lee Corbo
$0.
Matt Hepner
I can hear them now. If you. If you listen closely, it's going. There's like 17 sewing machines out there.
David Lee Corbo
And they're saying all kinds of slurs.
Matt Hepner
This is a Christian library.
David Lee Corbo
They're just back there slurring it up.
Matt Hepner
An old lady sewing the N word on it.
Top Lobster
That is not funny. That is not funny.
Matt Hepner
That's very funn.
Top Lobster
Like this. Are we real? Which one are we reading first?
David Lee Corbo
We're gonna read not filthy Poor Holly. As opposed to Holly's father with many rooms in his mansion.
Matt Hepner
I don't like this.
David Lee Corbo
We're gonna go with ghost fleas from. That's a picture of a goat. What are you doing, dude? Ghost fleas from husband and gay men.
Top Lobster
That's what we're gonna read.
David Lee Corbo
Geez, man. Can you figure this out? You. You had all that time, and you're like, I'm ready. And we're like, matt, do you want to read?
Matt Hepner
Let's read Holly, because I can't confirm that Holly.
Top Lobster
So we are on Hollywood.
Matt Hepner
Which one did you listen to the Holly episode? She wanted you to read that story.
David Lee Corbo
You listen to it.
Matt Hepner
Holly was.
David Lee Corbo
Thought it was really important that you. You. You read her story and that.
Top Lobster
When was that?
David Lee Corbo
When you weren't here.
Matt Hepner
We did chronicles. Yeah.
David Lee Corbo
Busy pouring brown.
Top Lobster
How come I wasn't.
Matt Hepner
You were porn brown.
Top Lobster
No, you guys just have those times. You're like, yeah, F, man.
David Lee Corbo
All right, we'll do filthy poor Holly. Then the chat.
Matt Hepner
The chat kept saying. Too much Matt. Not enough cursing. All right, now, so let's recap.
Top Lobster
Read the same one.
Matt Hepner
No. I'll tell you about Holly's last story.
David Lee Corbo
I don't remember it. I like at the broom closet that's adjacent.
Matt Hepner
Her dad. Her dad lived in a mansion. And I think at some point we were supposed to understand that this place was haunted.
David Lee Corbo
That was like, the smallest part.
Matt Hepner
But realistically, what we got was a house tour. Yeah. And this house is tremendous. Many floors. Her father had many rooms.
David Lee Corbo
17 rooms, conservatively.
Matt Hepner
Hidden rooms within rooms. Realistically, I just know the layout of the house. I don't remember what happened in it.
Top Lobster
Yeah.
Matt Hepner
But I know that there was a basement with a closet that led to another closet. And they can. You can go to someone else's room through the closet.
Top Lobster
She wanted me to know all that. That there was like secret pathways.
David Lee Corbo
JJ says Holly with the HGTV house. Yeah, but the H stands for Holly. I mean, it was like a crazy house.
Top Lobster
I do like the sound of a house with like, you pull one of like the books off the shelf and then a secret door pass.
David Lee Corbo
It was kind of like that.
Top Lobster
I do like that.
David Lee Corbo
Yeah.
Matt Hepner
It was mysterious.
David Lee Corbo
I don't remember whether. See what. The problem with Holly's storytelling, and God bless her, was that it went nowhere. I came away remembering that it had many rooms, but I did not remember any of the spookies, so. But now we're gonna deal with filthy poor.
Matt Hepner
They were minor spookies.
Top Lobster
Same chick.
David Lee Corbo
No, this is a different one.
Matt Hepner
She goes, same chick.
David Lee Corbo
Do you want to read this one.
Top Lobster
Or do you want to read the same chick?
David Lee Corbo
No, it's not the same chick. She. She elaborates that immediately in the first sentence.
Top Lobster
I'll do whatever you want.
David Lee Corbo
Yeah, because filthy poor Holly is the opposite of filthy rich Holly with many, many rooms in her man.
Matt Hepner
Filthy poor Holly DM me. Because she ordered a Fear Not T shirt and my manufacturer printed it slightly a jar. And she was like, I don't really want slightly open.
David Lee Corbo
Is.
Matt Hepner
Am I.
David Lee Corbo
That's what a jar means.
Matt Hepner
No, like, like sometimes it happens. You'll get a misprint where it's like, like tilt.
David Lee Corbo
That's a collector's edition. Yeah, that's like. Yeah.
Matt Hepner
So she goes, am I out of my money? I'm. I'm pretty poor. Thanks for reading the submission. I said, no, no, we'll send. So we're sending her like a correct T shirt.
Top Lobster
Wonder how long that's going to take?
Matt Hepner
Probably months. As long as it takes to pay you next.
David Lee Corbo
Well, look, I'll read the first sentence.
Matt Hepner
Five to six months.
David Lee Corbo
She goes, now I feel like I can't even send this email.
Matt Hepner
Where are we reading this, David?
David Lee Corbo
It's in the.
Top Lobster
If she drives 50 bucks for the shirt, they'll send her ten dollar shirt and that'll be six months.
Matt Hepner
Are you doing that to me? She says, filthy poor Holly.
David Lee Corbo
Filthy poor Holly is very. Now I feel like I can't even send this email because of rich Hollywood. Last Chronicles episode.
Top Lobster
You're doing great. Keep going.
David Lee Corbo
And she goes, I should clarify right out of the gate that I am filthy poor Holly.
Matt Hepner
Right, but rich Holly is now poor.
David Lee Corbo
So. But. But there is A difference here. She's not the same. This is fph. FPH is different than Holly with the many mansions in her father's house.
Matt Hepner
Well, okay.
David Lee Corbo
Same.
Matt Hepner
Same monetary status.
David Lee Corbo
Well, yeah. I mean.
Matt Hepner
Yeah. And realistically, when I look at poor people, all the same to me.
David Lee Corbo
Yeah, they look the same. Typically the same shade.
Matt Hepner
Yeah.
David Lee Corbo
She goes. Let me start by explaining.
Matt Hepner
Beneath me. Typically.
David Lee Corbo
This is actually great. She goes, let me start by explaining the layout of my dad's house I know. That I was living in at the time of this story.
Matt Hepner
There's no way.
David Lee Corbo
Just kidding. Top was about to punch me. Filthy poor Holly's. Very funny. Very funny. Filthy poor Holly. She goes, I am not a Spice Girl. Sorry to disappoint. That's not. Everybody can be perfect, right? Okay, you know, we'll let it slide. I got married and had kids relatively young. I grew up in the church, but had fallen away from God and was on what I would call a hippie path while the kids were a little gross. Disgusting. That's. That means no shoes. Didn't shave her armpits, baggy pants, tank top.
Top Lobster
A chick in the shop lifted her arm the other day and just looked like she had buckwheat in the headlock. It was, like, awful.
Matt Hepner
Did you throw her out?
David Lee Corbo
She was like, no, get out of my. Get out of my brown.
Matt Hepner
Oh, by the way, I saw Jason the other day. He's still nice.
David Lee Corbo
Jason is the closest thing to being a hippie that I'll allow.
Matt Hepner
Yeah, I was just thinking of dirty dreadlocks.
David Lee Corbo
He's like, the cleanest dude with dreadlocks, though. He is. He is. So she was on this hippie path. Meditation, Buddha statues, interest in past lives, astrology, crystal sage, and all the related stuff. Sounds super gay and stinky.
Matt Hepner
Yeah, crystals.
Top Lobster
It's like that weird female BO that's like peaches, but, like, rotten peaches. Gross. Yeah, that's gross.
David Lee Corbo
At the time, I was. I was out, and there was, like, some. I kept getting, like, really offensive. BO and then I realized it was coming from, like, some little girl who's wearing a blanket out in public. And it was like, she was young enough that this was clearly neglect, but it was also infuriating because the smell was so messed up that every time it entered my. My head cavity, I would. I would be filled with rage.
Matt Hepner
You know what I used to think as a child?
David Lee Corbo
What's that?
Matt Hepner
And this is racist.
David Lee Corbo
Go ahead, let's get racist.
Matt Hepner
I know. I mean, I used to think that black people smell like mildew because they Would wash their clothes and then they let it dry on the. On the heater.
David Lee Corbo
Oh, yeah, yeah.
Matt Hepner
You know that. That move. But it wouldn't dry completely, so then it would. It would smell like wet clothes. Yeah, but it's. It's fine. Because black people think white people smell like dogs.
David Lee Corbo
Did you know Somalians have an average IQ of 68?
Matt Hepner
And I don't think they're wrong. I just think maybe, like, we smell other races differently or. And I. I don't think that although.
Top Lobster
You are racist, this is actually. Yeah, that's an interesting.
David Lee Corbo
Quite. Quite an interesting insight there.
Top Lobster
Something to that.
David Lee Corbo
So she goes, typical young, ideological, immature and naive girl. I truly thought I was spiritual. All right, well, I'm really glad to see this bounce back.
Top Lobster
Yeah, the husband was probably just, like, working and just like, paying a little bit of an Ahab and just. Well, no, he's just doing his thing. Like, whatever, my chick's a hippie.
Matt Hepner
Whatever.
David Lee Corbo
She's got that dir.
Matt Hepner
Dirty P. Give me that vineyard.
David Lee Corbo
Fetch me that.
Top Lobster
I love that you remember the story.
David Lee Corbo
At least I now, in hindsight, can realize why some of the events that occurred transpired, however, at the time. They scared the life out of me.
Top Lobster
Wait, what events? Let's go.
David Lee Corbo
FPH is telling a story. Let her pace it. My oldest was an interesting toddler. He was the kid who was always saying and doing very strange things. One night, when changing his pull up in the middle of the night, he expressed concern that they would see his backside. The Jews.
Matt Hepner
Oh, stop.
Top Lobster
Oh, he's got imaginary friends.
David Lee Corbo
Dude.
Top Lobster
I did too, man.
Matt Hepner
Friends. You still do. Don't. Wait, Matt, are you gonna tell the story?
Top Lobster
What story?
Matt Hepner
The story you told me.
Top Lobster
No. About imaginary friends.
Matt Hepner
No.
David Lee Corbo
What happened?
Top Lobster
No, you should. No, stop.
David Lee Corbo
He does dreams. He had dreams?
Top Lobster
No, I made it up just so me and you would have something to talk about. That's gonna be nasty.
Matt Hepner
That is a lie.
David Lee Corbo
All right, we're gonna get to this after this Chronicles. Then I look forward to hearing whatever this is. He's worried that they will see his backside. And it was just at the time. It was just us at the time. So I asked who. He, without missing a beat, informed me that he was talking about the children. The ones in the walls.
Matt Hepner
Yeah.
David Lee Corbo
I strike him.
Top Lobster
Waiter, check, please.
David Lee Corbo
I punch him straight in the forehead.
Top Lobster
Getting out of there. Yeah.
David Lee Corbo
And she goes, just. No. Thank the Lord. We only rented that house. He also had an imaginary friend at the time that he was.
Top Lobster
Let's go.
David Lee Corbo
Sid lived in his closet. Not good. As a toddler. My son would sleep under his bed, not on it.
Top Lobster
Aiden used to sleep under his bed sometimes too. But he would start like on the.
David Lee Corbo
Bed and then he would get drunk.
Top Lobster
He would end up in the closet. He'd end up under the bed. He'd end up like in under dressers. Like he'd end up in the craziest places.
David Lee Corbo
That's bizarre.
Top Lobster
Yeah. One time in Tahoe, we just heard him screaming in the middle of the night and we ran in there and we couldn't find him. He was trapped way under the bed. Like he was in like a big bed, fell off the bed and got so far up into the middle of it.
David Lee Corbo
That's crazy.
Top Lobster
Aiden was a heavy kid. Like somehow he made his way all the way to the center of the bed, got stuck and then was stuck in there and couldn't get out. So we ran in the room. He's screaming like, where is he? It's like two in the morning or whatever. We're like digging around trying to find him. We finally found him way under the bed and had to drag him to mattress and drag him out.
David Lee Corbo
I don't think that's weird.
Top Lobster
Yeah, he was a wild ass sleeper, bro. He would, we would just find him in crazy places.
David Lee Corbo
That's your, that was your thinking. He's just a. Wow. All right, whatever, man.
Matt Hepner
My kid, my kid woke up in the middle of. Came to our room, went to sleep at the bottom of the bed and just had a terrible nightmare. Started screaming. We didn't even know he was in the bed. Almost myself, I was like, why not?
David Lee Corbo
I remember one time when I was living in this house back in New Jersey, it was a two floor. So you'd be in the top floor and you'd go down, there was a landing and then you go out another set of steps and it was the, the basement. And one day he walked down the first set of steps, stands on the landing, looks towards the basement, it's finished. Like the TV down there, all kinds of stuff. Just another living room. And he just starts screaming while staring into the dark. And. And I went down there, I picked him up. He was real little, like two or three and picked him up, scooped him up and just walked back up the stairs and consoled him and never, never, you know, thought I asked him about it. Nope, I don't want to know because, you know, in baby language he's gonna do big dark. What's that? Don't do the face, dude. Your kid literally is under the bed. So she says he used to tell Me that he saw shadows and spirits. I knew that these things were likely real, but I didn't understand the gravity of them. I had sleep paralysis while pregnant and my youngest in that same house, often had dreams about abduction.
Top Lobster
Damn.
David Lee Corbo
This is not good. This is a bad but classic mashup of events. I am thankful that I have always been a conspiracy minded person, even though they don't seem related. When you consume enough conspiracy over time and come to understand that it isn't conspiracy, you'll eventually find your way back to God. And if you seek the truth long enough, you will find Jesus. Amen. Yes. 100. I would agree with that. I realized that I was likely causing these situations in my home, or at minimum, allowing them access. I got rid of the crystals decorations that were not first things.
Top Lobster
We talked about this today.
David Lee Corbo
Oh, that's interesting. I like when that aligns, you know?
Matt Hepner
Yeah. The story of Jericho. Jericho.
Top Lobster
Akan grabs a cursed thing. Like, it's not like we wouldn't consider it a cursed thing today, but it was cursed because it was disobedient to God. He grabbed a Babylonish garment.
Matt Hepner
Yeah. A Babylonian T shirt.
Top Lobster
Yeah, we can untie. Exactly.
Matt Hepner
Very comfy.
Top Lobster
But that mantle with that exact clothing was. And then gold and silver shekels, shackles. And it was cursed, man. He brought it back and it him not his entire household, but it cursed all of Israel.
David Lee Corbo
That's wild.
Top Lobster
We're talking about getting rid of the cursed thing in your home.
David Lee Corbo
You hear that a lot. And people will have like an experience and they have a real big change of heart. They orient towards Christ and one of the things they do is eliminate all Brian.
Top Lobster
Amen.
Matt Hepner
Brian of Demon Eraser started burning his amiibos.
David Lee Corbo
Yeah, amiibos.
Matt Hepner
Mario, get out.
David Lee Corbo
Yeah, get out of me. Mario, get out of me. I think he's gonna be on, quite frankly, tonight.
Matt Hepner
Okay. Okay.
David Lee Corbo
Yeah, I think they're gonna be talking about aliens in the little season.
Matt Hepner
Okay, wait, actually, can we take a quick departure from that? Sure, sure. From this.
David Lee Corbo
Whatever. I gotta highlight it however you want, man. Where do you highlight it?
Matt Hepner
Because we got an email from Matt thinks that it's a good Chronicle submission.
Top Lobster
I thought that was the point of it.
Matt Hepner
No, I think it was just a. Should we read it or should we wait?
David Lee Corbo
Well, this is almost done already. We're. There's only two pages and we're almost done with page one.
Matt Hepner
Okay.
David Lee Corbo
So let's just power through this. I mean, not power through it. Let's, you know, give it its due. So she. She gets rid of the crystals, decorations that were not conducive to a relationship with God, I repented and rebuked. These things I didn't understand were so dangerous at the time. Everything stopped. It has been several years now, and my son never had an issue with anything of the sort ever again.
Top Lobster
If I could just say crystals, like the people are saying, like, oh, I appreciate God's creation. And there are crystals that just come out of the earth that's different than, like, crystals that this chick probably bought at some hippie fest thing that some witch has. Put curses.
Matt Hepner
What's.
David Lee Corbo
Also, what's your intent?
Top Lobster
People have prayed and put curses on these things that you're taking home. That's different than finding something beautiful out of the earth and loving it the way God made it. That's like.
David Lee Corbo
Or using it in witchcraft and, like, witchcraft and ceremony. But if you. If you dig it up and you go like, damn, this is a pretty crystal baby.
Matt Hepner
Yeah, this is a crystal hell, yeah. This is what we were talking about with the whole. The worship thing that I've been working on. He's like, where's the Bible? Where's the. Where's the scripture? And I was like, there's some scripture in the introduction. And I. I said, well, it quickly gets into what is vibration? And I'm like, I have to explain this. And I'm. I'm explaining all the theory behind. He's like, there's no scripture. And I was like, yeah, because we're talking about physics, we're talking about how. How things work. The Bible goes into that, but it doesn't go into that in. Into detail.
David Lee Corbo
Yeah.
Matt Hepner
So you kind of have to look.
David Lee Corbo
At science or like, if everything in the world is made up of frequency and vibration and God spoke the universe into existence, like, that's your part with the frequency and the vibration. God spoke. He used the word to create all these things. But then, like, if you want to expand on, like, well, how does that. How does that work? What does that mean? Well, everything is vibration and frequency colors are just different. You know, speeds of vibration depending on how solid a thing is, depends on what speed that it's vibrating at. You know, it's all. So. So. But it totally backs up the Bible because you're like, oh, and then the idea that Jesus is the word made flesh makes you go like, dang, did. Did the word that was used to speak the universe in existence just change frequency to the point where it became solid? Like, that's why.
Matt Hepner
Because it makes so much sense.
David Lee Corbo
Yeah. Yeah. He doesn't like that. I don't hate it. Anything but crystals.
Matt Hepner
Crystal's the same thing. Crystals do something.
David Lee Corbo
Yeah, but every girl that's just, that's named Crystal that I've ever known. Not good.
Matt Hepner
Not a good person.
David Lee Corbo
Not good. Always like, you know, really sketchy. You stay away from her. I don't think I've ever known a good crystal that wasn't on something and doing some. So anyway, she got rid of all the crystals. Everything stopped. It's been several years. Her son hasn't had any issues. She goes, I started listening to your show back when I was, let's say, a little more wild. Well, that's what we were doing the show when we were a little bit more wild. David, that's the fourth Gnosticism today. Sorry. Atma. It's true though. But I wanted to say thank you for walking the journey back to God with me and all of your listeners. Whenever, wherever they are in their journey. The quality of guests Ed is always my favorite and how your content morphed over time has been truly refreshed. I was an infant. I was infant baptized, but ended up getting believer baptized this year. Nice crushing. Hold on. There we go. That's for the believer baptized. My kids did too. As Raven says, strengthen your relationship with the Lord, be watchful and practice discernment. And above all else, protect the kids. Amen. Don't bite my head off. But I will admit I didn't care for Matt with seven T's at first.
Top Lobster
I don't blame you.
David Lee Corbo
He grew on me and I thoroughly enjoy straight Bible. Keep up the good work.
Matt Hepner
Thanks.
Top Lobster
Filthy poor Holly.
David Lee Corbo
Filthy poor Holly with a banger.
Matt Hepner
I'm pretty sure that's the same person.
David Lee Corbo
No, it's filthy poor Holly.
Top Lobster
Different.
David Lee Corbo
Different. She elaborates. Let me revisit that first sentence. Now I feel like I can't even send this email because Holly Last Chronicles.
Top Lobster
Episode Top is always like, no, there's levels to the conspiracy. You're on level one, I'm on level two.
David Lee Corbo
I would agree with that. Yeah.
Top Lobster
So you do think it is the same Holly. No, he does. Because I'm like the next layer down on the conspiracy.
David Lee Corbo
I think sometimes it just moves so fast that he doesn't read like the first sentence where she says I'm not.
Matt Hepner
Holly messaged me.
David Lee Corbo
Holly.
Top Lobster
Oh, it is the same.
Matt Hepner
I feel like I have no right to complain after torturing you with the description of my childhood home.
David Lee Corbo
Yeah.
Matt Hepner
And I'm a broke ass teacher, so it's worth a shot to see if I Could try to exchange it. She's broke. She's broke, too.
David Lee Corbo
Yeah, this is. This is. Oh, okay. Well, they both just happens to be broke, but one of them has a father with many mansions.
Matt Hepner
We all have a father.
Top Lobster
This one may or may not.
Matt Hepner
Oh, we did.
Top Lobster
You're so proud of yourself.
David Lee Corbo
No, I hit that. That was for him. That was good.
Matt Hepner
Oh, no, it was. It was a comb of Riz and air horn, which is very cool.
Top Lobster
There you go. The Riz.
David Lee Corbo
The Riz horn.
Matt Hepner
I like that. I like it.
David Lee Corbo
All right, the next one we're gonna read. Well, you said there was something that you wanted to read, right? We do have another one where it's the ghost gets chased away by the husband and the gays. But if you. You said that you had something else that you wanted to. And I just want to.
Matt Hepner
Matt Hepner.
David Lee Corbo
Yeah.
Matt Hepner
Pilgrim Stranger.
David Lee Corbo
Yeah.
Matt Hepner
Sent us something from. I don't know if this guy's. Does he say his name in here?
David Lee Corbo
Z Man wants to know if I played Matt's song yet.
Top Lobster
He's from Canada.
David Lee Corbo
Look, Z Man, we gave him money today. We gave him cash. Cold, hard cash. I don't know if I'm ready to give him two. Two gifts in one day.
Matt Hepner
He's from Canada.
David Lee Corbo
He's a Canadian.
Top Lobster
Did you not read the email? He sent it to all of us. He sent it to, like, Timeline Cleanse.
David Lee Corbo
What?
Top Lobster
He sent it to Nephilim Death Squad.
Matt Hepner
No such thing as a timeline.
Top Lobster
Well, he had it. He. It was said to Timeline Cleanse Squad and me.
Matt Hepner
His name is Canadian, but I just.
Top Lobster
Forwarded to Top Lobster.
Matt Hepner
Okay, what's shaking? Big shooters. Big shooters reaching out from northern Ontario, Canada.
Top Lobster
See what I'm saying?
Matt Hepner
Potentially 51st state. Ugh. Been listening in a while.
David Lee Corbo
If I have anything to do with.
Matt Hepner
It, alongside with you both since late summer 2024. I don't even remember what we've been doing. And I've grown to love you both. I love you. Oh, it's kind of gay. More recently, the apt introduction of Matt with, oh, way too many.
David Lee Corbo
Maybe 15 T's.
Matt Hepner
Yeah. I can't say how perfect, in addition, he is. I can't see how we curve that.
Top Lobster
He's a lot.
David Lee Corbo
I would. I would pull that back just a tad.
Matt Hepner
He's fine. I mean, realistically.
David Lee Corbo
Realistically, he's just fine.
Matt Hepner
Yeah. No, I mean, the area that he lets us do it.
David Lee Corbo
Oh, it's all about this.
Matt Hepner
Great. Yeah. Yeah.
David Lee Corbo
Honestly, if it was a little bit bigger, but it. Whatever.
Matt Hepner
And up until today, it was Free, but you know.
David Lee Corbo
Yeah, no big deal.
Matt Hepner
But great addition.
David Lee Corbo
Yeah, I would say so.
Matt Hepner
A little about myself.
Top Lobster
You guys covered the extra electric one month out of five months, and now you're like, oh, it's not free.
Matt Hepner
Yeah. The word you're looking for is you're welcome.
David Lee Corbo
Not once, right? Not once.
Matt Hepner
So rude.
David Lee Corbo
Not once.
Matt Hepner
Crazy.
David Lee Corbo
Thanks for doing it one time.
Matt Hepner
Thanks for the money.
David Lee Corbo
All right, let's go.
Matt Hepner
Go buy some seeds or something.
David Lee Corbo
Whatever you do.
Matt Hepner
My awakening started in December 2002. I moved. I just moved to Vancouver. I think it's British Columbia. These means nothing. This means nothing to me.
Top Lobster
These means nothing.
Matt Hepner
These words means nothing when you're talking about. Oh, you have family in British Columbia. I don't know what that means.
David Lee Corbo
I like the next line.
Matt Hepner
When my cousin's father who liked meth.
David Lee Corbo
Okay, go on.
Top Lobster
You mean your uncle.
David Lee Corbo
Cousin's father. Yeah. That is your uncle.
Matt Hepner
Yeah. No, no, Brother's father.
David Lee Corbo
No, brother's father's your father, dude.
Top Lobster
Yeah, this is like. This is in Canada. Not Puerto Ric Rico, bro.
David Lee Corbo
Okay, all right.
Matt Hepner
Enough with the dude.
David Lee Corbo
I like the bun.
Top Lobster
The bottom line is, is his cousin's father's brother's sister's nephew's uncle liked math and he spent time in prison in the 70s.
David Lee Corbo
Bible. Okay, stop it.
Top Lobster
I know, but you see how long it takes when he reads.
David Lee Corbo
I like when he reads. Please continue.
Matt Hepner
Spend time in prison in the 70s.
David Lee Corbo
Nice.
Matt Hepner
Had said while we were partaking in some electric lettuce. What does that mean? Dude, that's weed.
David Lee Corbo
That's a cool word for it.
Matt Hepner
The world is owned by 12 families in Canada. Was given away to the US by Britain during the Second World War.
Top Lobster
Hell, yeah.
Matt Hepner
Maybe I don't. Again, I don't care about Canada.
David Lee Corbo
So the 12 families things. I was probably 13 of them. Really? One of them.
Matt Hepner
Yeah. As. As foreign as this sounded to me at 22, I knew the core.
David Lee Corbo
I want to look at that. I'm doing this. I'm doing a job. I'm doing a. Don't show me that.
Matt Hepner
I spent the next. What's he showing you?
David Lee Corbo
I don't know.
Matt Hepner
Showing me some pilgrim stream.
David Lee Corbo
Why is he doing that? We're doing a show right now.
Top Lobster
Joe Brown wants a new shirt. Man.
David Lee Corbo
I. I love that.
Matt Hepner
A pilgrim stranger is a good shirt. It is.
David Lee Corbo
But don't. Don't show me that ever again.
Top Lobster
Okay, I'm sorry.
Matt Hepner
It's a good idea.
David Lee Corbo
I'm doing a show here.
Top Lobster
Okay.
Matt Hepner
The next two months. I spent the next few months intensely digging the early Internet. The first epiphany was at most. Was as. Was as most seem to have understood similar situation.
Top Lobster
See what I'm saying now?
David Lee Corbo
It's a weird sentence.
Matt Hepner
Yeah. I have problems reading the King James version because it's written by King James, right? No, this is written in Canadian.
David Lee Corbo
Yeah.
Matt Hepner
Which is worse.
David Lee Corbo
Which is worse.
Matt Hepner
Yeah. Maybe that's a problem with you, Matt. You read the King James so fluently. And then he was trying to flex on me yesterday when he was reading.
Top Lobster
Like, put me down. Yeah, you read the King James so fluent.
David Lee Corbo
No, because.
Top Lobster
Gotcha.
Matt Hepner
He reads his ad reading. He goes, put it on the fastest speed put on the fence.
David Lee Corbo
Let me ask you something, Matt. And I watched your ad read. Why did you look like you were in pain doing the ad where you look like you didn't want to be there? You looked afraid.
Top Lobster
It was just going so slow.
David Lee Corbo
I know, but you'd like. We have to use that. And. And it's like, you look like you're threatening people to come listen to straight Bible. If we use the video from that, that's gonna be, like, intimidating.
Top Lobster
I like that. I like the sound.
David Lee Corbo
So angry.
Matt Hepner
If my dad came in, he was like, like, you guys are talking about the gospel.
Top Lobster
Yeah.
Matt Hepner
Maybe put a smile on. I'd be like, you know what? That's good advice.
David Lee Corbo
That's good advice. Yeah.
Matt Hepner
Yeah. Look like.
David Lee Corbo
Because the gospel is the good news.
Matt Hepner
Maybe look like you want to be there.
David Lee Corbo
Maybe look like you're ready to spread the good news, not the upsetting news or the scary news.
Top Lobster
Was it really, like, intense and mean and nasty vibes when I was reading?
Matt Hepner
Yeah.
David Lee Corbo
I mean, yeah.
Top Lobster
I was like, well, top that gives me no feedback. Touch was like, you did great.
Matt Hepner
Not more than usual.
David Lee Corbo
Well, it was weird because we were like, we're trying to take pictures for thumbnails, and we're like, can you make, like, a surprise face? And he's like. And then we're like, okay, make like a. Make like a curious face. And he does the same face again. And you're like, okay, make like a. Like a happy face. And he's like. And as soon as I said. I said, make a happy face. And I watched his. I'm gonna make up a word here. I watched his brow furrow.
Matt Hepner
Yeah.
David Lee Corbo
And I said, why did you do that?
Matt Hepner
It's. It's very strange because I'm happy.
David Lee Corbo
He's like, I'm very happy right now.
Matt Hepner
Can't you tell?
David Lee Corbo
Like, okay, dude, geez, whatever.
Matt Hepner
By my demeanor.
David Lee Corbo
So when you guys see the thumbnails And Matt has the same exact face in every thumbnail.
Matt Hepner
Know that. We tried, but, you know, there is much darkness. There must be an opposition to this much darkness, or everything would be dark. This is my first real personal acknowledgment of God, although it was within me. Very gay. Just unacknowledged or unexpressed at this time. My cousin used to go to the local video store for porn. Oh, okay. See, this is the kind of stuff I don't like to. That's a curse word to me.
David Lee Corbo
Porn.
Matt Hepner
So you don't say it. Oh, don't you think that that's a curse word?
David Lee Corbo
It's a weird word when you think about, like, the etymology of a word. Like, what is the root of that word?
Matt Hepner
When I say. When I say, like, funny curse words.
Top Lobster
Yeah.
Matt Hepner
Does it make. Does it trigger something in your head? Like, I'm. I just don't want to trigger something in somebody's head that then.
David Lee Corbo
Oh, yeah. They trigger the horny.
Top Lobster
Yeah.
Matt Hepner
Like, if I'm making jokes and stuff, I don't. I feel like that's not really triggering these things. Does that make sense? Using word enhancers?
Top Lobster
You're mocking people that don't like the N word, but you're like, I don't like the P word.
Matt Hepner
I don't.
David Lee Corbo
I think so. Then you want to be worse.
Top Lobster
People don't like the N word.
Matt Hepner
What? That you say the N word makes you want to listen to rap. That's fine. You say the P word, you. You're gonna go start, you know, peeing off.
Top Lobster
That was racist.
David Lee Corbo
You're gonna go pee off a little bit.
Matt Hepner
What? That wasn't racist. It's. Maybe it's true. What is. What does that correlate to you?
David Lee Corbo
Does that make people hear the N word and they go and pee off?
Top Lobster
Wow, this is really a good thing. I hope your dad does not see this episode.
Matt Hepner
Dude, he doesn't watch any of this. I don't know where he even got it from.
Top Lobster
He's gonna smack you right in your mouth if he hears this episode.
Matt Hepner
He went to the local word not a swear video store for p. Red hot video for a joke one day. A joke. He said they were hiring. We ended up giving. Going by one day. I wanted to get him the biggest container of lube possible.
Top Lobster
What? Inappropriate?
Matt Hepner
You said this to me?
David Lee Corbo
You're the one that read this and was like this.
Top Lobster
I didn't say we should, like, talk about it.
Matt Hepner
He's the one who said we should read this.
Top Lobster
I thought this is what it was for was like when people send in these stories for this show.
David Lee Corbo
Yeah, that's what it's. No.
Matt Hepner
They send you a story.
Top Lobster
No. They sent it to you.
Matt Hepner
Nope.
Top Lobster
This email is to Nephilim Death Squad gmail dot com.
David Lee Corbo
How'd you get it?
Top Lobster
Timeline Cleanse contact at gmail dot com.
Matt Hepner
There's no such thing.
Top Lobster
Okay? That's who it's.
Matt Hepner
There's no such thing as Nephilim Death Squad at Gmail. That's not our email.
Top Lobster
Well, tell MJ Marzulli I'm not doing this.
Matt Hepner
It's simply the wrong email. So I gotta go up.
David Lee Corbo
So we were trying to get a big thing of lube and he was hoping for a 5.
Matt Hepner
Nobody at Timeline Cleanse Contact.
David Lee Corbo
I don't know what that is. Contact it. I think I might have done something like that. Timeline.
Top Lobster
I did end up putting in my resume for fun.
David Lee Corbo
Stop it.
Matt Hepner
Stop it. Stop.
Top Lobster
Okay, you go ahead.
David Lee Corbo
Anymore.
Matt Hepner
No, no, no. You gotta stop.
David Lee Corbo
I'm not doing this.
Matt Hepner
Okay. I was hoping for a five gallon bucket with a giant push dispenser.
David Lee Corbo
Hell yeah.
Matt Hepner
No luck. But I did get a 2 liter jug.
David Lee Corbo
Is that big liter of cola?
Matt Hepner
A liter? Liter's big.
David Lee Corbo
Yeah, like a liter thing.
Matt Hepner
But you buy. You probably buy coffee in liters or you measure it in centimeters or something like that.
David Lee Corbo
That's not a liquid. What? Yeah, I don't know.
Top Lobster
It just went from volume to.
Matt Hepner
What do you like? You heated up in Kelvin.
David Lee Corbo
You heated up in Kelvin. Asthma.
Matt Hepner
Yeah.
David Lee Corbo
Two liters of. Two liters of lube is quite a bit of lube, Matt.
Matt Hepner
Probably. He probably heats up coffee in Celsius.
David Lee Corbo
You do, don't you?
Matt Hepner
Do you see what I mean? It's disgusting.
David Lee Corbo
He's not even locked in anymore.
Matt Hepner
He found the 2 liter jug. I. I suppose that's big. Perhaps. Perhaps I did end up putting in my resume for fun and got a call where I was informed that I'm very overqualified for the position. But it's available if I want it. I originally studied mechanical engineering in college. It was the best job I ever had. The end of. The end of video was happening and the beginning of the Internet at the same time. Let me just tell a quick story.
David Lee Corbo
Wait. This guy did take the job as a.
Matt Hepner
As a mechanical engineer? Yeah, he's a Canadian.
Top Lobster
Pop really loves this story.
David Lee Corbo
As a. As a professional goon facilitator.
Matt Hepner
I was telling. I was telling my wife. We were saying if you could dream and do whatever you wanted in the dream with me, like if we could astral project is basically what I was saying. Yeah, we could, but we won't.
David Lee Corbo
I mean, yeah, it's easy. You just get a little Binaural Beats app and have at it.
Matt Hepner
Binaural beat down. I said, what would you do? And she goes, I'd probably go, deuce. Like. Like, something that we did in the past. Like. Like revisit the past. No sexual stuff. Get your mind out the gutter. See, I said the P word one time, and you're like Mr. Nasty over there.
Top Lobster
You're talking about the good old days there for a minute.
Matt Hepner
Yeah. And you know what? You know what the good old days were?
Top Lobster
What?
Matt Hepner
Walking down the block to Blockbuster.
David Lee Corbo
Hell yeah.
Matt Hepner
Right?
David Lee Corbo
I used to love going to Blockbuster.
Matt Hepner
Blockbuster, man.
David Lee Corbo
Blockbuster.
Top Lobster
You guys never went to Blockbuster?
Matt Hepner
Oh, yeah, dude.
Top Lobster
What is that?
David Lee Corbo
Look at. He's trying to lock in and he's.
Top Lobster
You guys were together so long that it was back when. Blockbuster.
Matt Hepner
Blockbuster.
Top Lobster
Blockbuster.
Matt Hepner
That's a new one. Blockbuster. Blockbuster T shirts.
David Lee Corbo
Yeah, that sounds a little bit p. Wordy. You know, like Blockbusters.
Matt Hepner
Blockbuster was great.
David Lee Corbo
I think if I. If I could do anything in the Ash realm, it would just be, like, fighting stuff. I would do, like, a lot of fighting stuff.
Matt Hepner
Like with your wife.
David Lee Corbo
Oh, I guess if she was gonna come there, I'd be like, yeah, we could do fight stuff together.
Matt Hepner
I don't think she wanted to. His wife would probably do it, though, because she'd be like, whatever you want to do.
David Lee Corbo
Let's go find out.
Matt Hepner
All right.
David Lee Corbo
Sword stuff.
Matt Hepner
So. All right. Videos ending. Very sad time in video.
David Lee Corbo
Yeah. When it ends, that was the change. That was like the shift, and then everything went to hell.
Matt Hepner
It killed Blockbuster.
David Lee Corbo
Well, before that Video killed the radio star.
Matt Hepner
Yeah, deservedly so. Then it was killed by Netflix, and now everything's gay. Netflix sucks, so people really rarely came in. I got myself to stop it. I got myself a library card for the first time in my life. And along along with the Internet, I just started reading everything I could. If I remember right, the first book was Body of Secrets about the nsa. I was very interested in God and was curious about God's people. Two Jewish dudes showed up one day at the shop. We became good friends. I got them to watch me. Me. What's that?
David Lee Corbo
No, watch Mel.
Matt Hepner
Oh, to watch Mel. I got them to watch Mel Gibson's Passion of the Christ.
David Lee Corbo
I got them to watch me.
Top Lobster
See what I'm talking about?
David Lee Corbo
Watch me.
Matt Hepner
Why were they selling. They were selling Passion of the Christ in this P store.
Top Lobster
No, no, he was Promoting it though. You know, he was like trying to help people and get them on the right track.
Matt Hepner
That's like having this podcast in a Christian library.
David Lee Corbo
Yeah. Two Jewish dudes show up to my PE shop and then I, I go here, let's watch Passion of the Christ together, basically. Right. I mean, that's what I'm gathering.
Matt Hepner
Listen. I don't know what goes on in Canada, so I, I shouldn't judge.
David Lee Corbo
It is a whole different.
Matt Hepner
Yeah.
David Lee Corbo
Part of the.
Matt Hepner
I'm learning that they got Jews in Canada.
David Lee Corbo
I didn't even know. Yeah. And I recorded the little hats and everything probably. Or are they flannel colored.
Matt Hepner
Maple leaf hats? Okay. And I recall whenever I would ask about Christ, they would put their head down and say, it's not for the Jews, it's for everyone else. I didn't really understand at the time and I don't think they did either. They ended up moving back to Israel and I started building houses. Vancouver was going through a boom at the time for the coming Olympics and the money was great. I evolved to drafting and drafting and project coordination and later estimating and project management of high slash low rise concrete construction. Are you a Patreon member? Because it sounds like you're making sounds like you got. Sounds like you're guaming and it sounds like you just wrote to us for free. You came in the back door, you wrote to the weakest member of this dude.
David Lee Corbo
You wrote a Matt shop and then he comes in the back door. That's crazy.
Matt Hepner
He wrote to Matt that in order to appease, to get on. On the show.
David Lee Corbo
Matt, you're right. I feel like you're real low energy over there.
Top Lobster
How do we know if this is even a real person? Dude, this is just like somebody a. That could be a bot for one and then for two, they could have just had AI. Right. This whole thing.
Matt Hepner
It's a good question. How do we know Canada exists at all?
David Lee Corbo
That's true. I've never been that far north. I got up to the border once.
Top Lobster
I've been to Montreal. Great coffee shops. You know what's underground world there too?
David Lee Corbo
Yeah.
Matt Hepner
Tunnels.
David Lee Corbo
Right. With the Jews. When. When you look at the chat, the chat knows. You're looking at. It's very funny. They're like, they're like, is he staring? And you do that. I just want to break, you know, character right now and say, say you have a real character, bro. With staring at the chat.
Matt Hepner
And not only.
Top Lobster
I don't know what to do when I'm just sitting here listening.
Matt Hepner
Look at his face.
David Lee Corbo
You can look at us, look at the camera, look at just the screen.
Matt Hepner
You can look at the chat. But when you look at it, don't look at it as if you have to squint. He's. He doesn't need to squint. He's got good eyes. He's looking at you in. In condemnation here.
David Lee Corbo
That's what it looks like. This is me looking at the screen.
Top Lobster
This.
David Lee Corbo
Wait, wait, wait. Can you go back to my camera? This is. I want you guys to know this. This is him every time.
Matt Hepner
Time.
David Lee Corbo
This is looking at the screen and seeing us in the room. This is looking at the chat. And you can tell when I'm looking at you, I'm reading everything that you're saying. And he does it. Look, Sam Squanch says, no, if I.
Top Lobster
Go on with you two guys on your show.
Matt Hepner
Yeah.
Top Lobster
I just try to not show. Yeah. And I try to interrupt and be, like, in the middle of it. My. My own.
David Lee Corbo
No, but what we need.
Top Lobster
Okay, I'm locked in.
David Lee Corbo
I am locked in. But I just.
Top Lobster
Because what will happen is if I start talking.
David Lee Corbo
Yeah.
Top Lobster
Sometimes I'll just take over talking, like, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. And people don't want that. The chat, doesn't want that. They come to watch. Guys, I'm like this third guy over on the side. I chime in like, once in a while, but I don't like.
Matt Hepner
Okay. I didn't want to say anything, but my dad did say he's, like, cursing. And Matt.
David Lee Corbo
Matt does talk too much.
Matt Hepner
And I was like, I will absolutely not stop cursing, but I agree with you, Matt. Yeah.
David Lee Corbo
All right, let's get back to it.
Matt Hepner
Just shut up when I'm talking to you.
David Lee Corbo
Right.
Top Lobster
Go ahead.
David Lee Corbo
People rarely came in. Oh, no. I got myself.
Top Lobster
Let's go, Joe.
Matt Hepner
Yeah. Okay. So he says. But I kind of started.
Top Lobster
Wait, if I could just say something else while I was gone. Somebody told me on the end of the year thing, you guys said, like, the nicest stuff about me. On the end of the year thing, I was like, what?
Matt Hepner
There's no way.
David Lee Corbo
They said.
Top Lobster
Yeah, dude. They were, like, glazing you. Saying the nicest.
David Lee Corbo
You didn't even know what that word meant.
Top Lobster
Oh, yeah.
Matt Hepner
They were like.
Top Lobster
They talked about how good you were at business, how good you are in the shop, how good you are with people, how blessed they are.
David Lee Corbo
That's when you came into their life.
Top Lobster
People sent me, like, all this stuff, how nice you guys said to me. I was like, they never do that in real Life. Just so you know.
David Lee Corbo
Chat. Is this real?
Top Lobster
You guys said the nicest stuff about me.
Matt Hepner
We didn't say, I don't know, five.
David Lee Corbo
Figures to blue letter Bible.
Matt Hepner
I think. I think what he's confusing is, like, we said so much nasty stuff about Clint, and then in comparison, it sounded nice, whatever we said about you. Yeah.
David Lee Corbo
In contrast, they were saying you guys.
Top Lobster
Said, like, the nicest things about me. They were like. It had to be because you were, like, out of the country. There's no way they would have said that there was any chance that you were, like, you were out of the country. In the country. Where'd you go in the room in the same building. They would have never done that. But since you were gone, they felt comfortable.
David Lee Corbo
You went to Germany.
Top Lobster
You muted me. Let's play that game. What are you doing? You're low energy. You're not saying anything. All right, all right.
David Lee Corbo
Don't do that. That wasn't really upset. Upsets him. I could tell. That upsets him a lot.
Matt Hepner
That was nasty. And we don't.
Top Lobster
Very hurtful.
David Lee Corbo
We don't need nasty, Matt. That's not good. All right.
Matt Hepner
That was nasty what I did, and I apologize for that.
David Lee Corbo
Look at. That's progress.
Matt Hepner
Yeah.
David Lee Corbo
How do you feel about that, man?
Matt Hepner
I'm sorry about that.
Top Lobster
All right. You want me to read the rest of it?
David Lee Corbo
God, no. Please.
Top Lobster
We can't stand somebody reading, like, in a timely manner and getting all the words right.
Matt Hepner
Kind of started. Ouch. I kind of started to fall away from God. I kept researching everything, and I could ponder God and. And pondering God. But to many girls, to many beers, to many parties. To the ocean.
Top Lobster
Too many girls, too many beers, too many parties.
David Lee Corbo
Oh, well, he doesn't know that. It's an extra O.
Matt Hepner
No, I am reading it the way it's spelled.
Top Lobster
That's how they spell it in Canada. Dude, there's only one O. They don't do the two O's in Canada.
Matt Hepner
Hey, buddy.
David Lee Corbo
Got tall.
Matt Hepner
Many guys, too many girls.
David Lee Corbo
What is this all about?
Matt Hepner
What's it all about? All right, listen.
Top Lobster
Too many parties on the ocean or deep in the mountain forest.
Matt Hepner
This.
David Lee Corbo
Don't let him read for you.
Matt Hepner
I later met some Native Americans. I'm half.
Top Lobster
They made that word up.
Matt Hepner
Yeah. And Canadian sovereign citizens got close to Robert Menard. There's a link here I'm not clicking on because probably the P word. Oh, and Irene Gravenhorse.
David Lee Corbo
Oh, these are names he's made up.
Matt Hepner
Matt's acting like he knows he's stopping now. My cousin went to school with them.
David Lee Corbo
Even lived with. He lived with Irene.
Matt Hepner
Now I'm calling it.
David Lee Corbo
Wait a second.
Top Lobster
No, no, it's not. Dude. Chief Red Jacket and her husband, Chief Killapong.
David Lee Corbo
No, that's not. That's kia pilano, tila tequila.
Matt Hepner
So he lived with all these people before the Olympics started.
David Lee Corbo
Chief Red Jacket. You really think that motherfucker had a red jacket?
Matt Hepner
I learned many a thing from them. Who I am now I'm not.
David Lee Corbo
This guy's just lying to us on our own show. Did you type this up, Matt?
Top Lobster
No, I got this at like 2.
Matt Hepner
It gets better. It gets a little bit better.
David Lee Corbo
Okay.
Matt Hepner
But I started to realize in some delusion. There is some delusion in these groups. They had great knowledge but stupid wisdom. Oh, so take the knowledge and move on. This is what we were talking about. Kind of like tops realization of libertarianism. We talked about this on Right. Straight Bible. It's like kind of take what you can get from these people, but don't deify them. Yeah, yeah.
David Lee Corbo
I'm a big fan of the persecution. And what did you make that face for?
Matt Hepner
That's the right. I used the right word. Don't deify them. And then he goes, Matt goes.
David Lee Corbo
You're making up words.
Top Lobster
Yeah. Who said don't deify him? You didn't say that.
Matt Hepner
I just said.
David Lee Corbo
I don't know if he said that.
Top Lobster
The raven said. Yeah, get. You said, get what you need from. And the raven said. And then kill him.
Matt Hepner
Oh. He said, oh. So yeah. No, I said don't deify them. Oh.
David Lee Corbo
He was making recoiling at the killing of the native. Yeah. Because I think it was probably a good move.
Matt Hepner
He probably thought deifyment probably meant die. He'd probably die.
David Lee Corbo
No, I think you should you to.
Matt Hepner
We should, but we're mad for like a guy. For a guy that pours coffee, he thinks he knows.
David Lee Corbo
He doesn't know, which is crazy. We know words.
Top Lobster
I know how to read. That's really my only claim to fame.
David Lee Corbo
Fame.
Top Lobster
I then moved back home.
David Lee Corbo
No, you're not allowed to read.
Top Lobster
This is top story company top.
David Lee Corbo
Don't let another man read for you.
Matt Hepner
I won't.
David Lee Corbo
Getting soft.
Matt Hepner
I then moved back home to work with my.
David Lee Corbo
That's fair.
Matt Hepner
That was nice. That's fair.
David Lee Corbo
Dude, I got picture A pissed really hard. Can you guys enjoy this without me?
Matt Hepner
Oh, can we. Can we take a break?
David Lee Corbo
Oh, you want to take a pee pee break?
Matt Hepner
We can take a pee pee break.
David Lee Corbo
But there's only two bathrooms. What are we gonna what are we gonna play?
Matt Hepner
I don't have to use the bathroom. I just want to take a break.
Top Lobster
Hurry up, Hurry up.
Matt Hepner
What do you guys want to see? All right. See you later. I guess we'll play some toad.
David Lee Corbo
Oh, yeah, play some toad.
Matt Hepner
Although I don't know how to find them now.
David Lee Corbo
Oh, sorry.
Top Lobster
You sit on a a. I'm gonna punch you guys.
Matt Hepner
We'll be back. We have to go. David has to do people.
Top Lobster
No, I'll keep them busy. Let me talk to the chat while everybody goes.
Matt Hepner
You gonna talk to them?
Top Lobster
Yeah, I mean, did you already turn it off?
Matt Hepner
No, go ahead, talk to him.
Top Lobster
What do you guys want to talk about? That's nothing to talk about. That's nothing to talk about. Does Matt charge the old people for electricity too? Yes, yes. They pay. They pay for the room. Yay, Matt. Next Tuesday, Squint. Okay, you guys aren't giving me much to work with. So this is gonna be kind of sucky till the boys get back based. Matt, I think that means something good. Yeah, this is like, very low energy.
David Lee Corbo
Yes. App, Mom.
Top Lobster
Good. Yeah. The Albarino interview is going to be hot, man. It's gonna be good. The boys are gonna let me sit in on it, I think, but I'm not totally sure. Okay. I don't know if I like this raven actually bumped into me while I was drinking on his way out, which was kind of irritating. Outreach to the homeless community. Yeah, we should. I mean, the thing is, is there's not a ton of homeless. And you gotta watch the homeless because a lot of them are very manipulative. Okay, Mr. Eugenics, this uncomfortable. Okay. Subs. Mass. You should read a Bible. And my bros just like, you got me on the right path. That's a good brother. Ronnie Edwards. It's your favorite type of hunting. I really love. I really love turkey hunting. But gator hunting's fun. And deer hunting is probably what I do the most. Was duck hunting super fun.
Matt Hepner
David, get back in Germany.
Top Lobster
I hung out with my whole family, man. We all went on this giant trip, man. My cousin has six kids and they have, like, boyfriends and girlfriends and.
Matt Hepner
Oh, you went to Germany.
David Lee Corbo
Wait, you went to Germany.
Top Lobster
It's just, like, really cool. I'm not doing this. Maybe Johnny Rock. Depends.
David Lee Corbo
Stop talking.
Top Lobster
Okay, okay.
David Lee Corbo
You're done talking.
Top Lobster
You recommend? Yeah. Weld, let's go. Lucia. Pronounced Lucia. You definitely want to be drinking Weld. And you can buy them through the website.
David Lee Corbo
Okay, please, can we get back to this?
Top Lobster
This is. This is brutal.
Matt Hepner
We're back.
Top Lobster
Well, No, I wouldn't say. Okay, so the beef with the veneration of saints and icons. Well, yeah, we're just going straight Bible, right? That we go straight. We go boldly before the throne of grace face. And so it's like, disrespectful when you can go directly to God.
Matt Hepner
For the audio listeners, you should read the question. Okay, I can't read it, so could you.
Top Lobster
Question is, Matt, can you explain your beef with the veneration of saints icons, like the tick tocks?
David Lee Corbo
This is great.
Top Lobster
I learned so much from you, but I don't understand your beef. Yeah, I just. Everything is about Christ. So, like, that. That's the main thing, right? Is that you. You boldly go before the throne of grace. God himself came down to the earth as a man, let people, like, whip his back and spit in his face and rip his beard out, and died this bloody, torturous death to buy us back from the dead so that we could have this open line of communication with. Directly with him. There's nothing greater than that. So why would I go through any other source or why would I venerate any other source other than God himself directly? Especially when the scripture teaches that, like, we don't have icons, we don't have idols, we don't have anything else, and we especially don't communicate with the dead. We just go directly to God. So it's basically just a being obedient to God thing.
David Lee Corbo
What's up?
Top Lobster
You coming in?
David Lee Corbo
We're live, but this is how we do our show. It just doesn't matter.
Matt Hepner
We don't care. All right, Tiffany's here.
David Lee Corbo
Can we get back to reading the thing? It's behind the scenes. It's behind the scenes. Tiffany, where's the button? Don't run away. Tiffany, come back here.
Top Lobster
Back.
Matt Hepner
Say hello.
Top Lobster
There she is. She's famous. Let's go.
David Lee Corbo
That's who helps us with our social media. We're big time now, guys. We have help.
Matt Hepner
We have handlers.
David Lee Corbo
We have handlers. That's our handler. She's straight from Israel. All right, let's. Let's get back to this story.
Matt Hepner
Can you.
Top Lobster
Jesus is never too busy. Subs Mess Sometimes I feel my sin is kind of specific, or my request is specific. Jesus was busy here something. So I ask a saint, so. No, no, never do that.
David Lee Corbo
Come on.
Matt Hepner
I mean, God is omnipotent, right?
Top Lobster
Yeah, you go straight to God, man. He's the one who's been tested in all points us. So of all people on the planet, of all entities on the planet you go directly to God.
Matt Hepner
Yeah.
David Lee Corbo
General Flynn is trans. Yes.
Matt Hepner
Okay, we're gonna finish reading.
David Lee Corbo
Dude, gross. Stop.
Matt Hepner
I then moved back home. My father in his logging company. But within two months, one of our new machines burnt. Weird. Then six months later, the mill we were in the prime cut for the prime. Prime contractor foreclosed. During this time, my mom ended up getting ovarian cancer and breast cancer.
Top Lobster
Damn.
David Lee Corbo
Sorry about your mom's tits and her ovaries.
Matt Hepner
It never crossed my mind it was time for her to go.
Top Lobster
Oh, damn.
Matt Hepner
She survived and is still doing well today. Give him a little air horn.
David Lee Corbo
Wow.
Matt Hepner
That didn't go as bad as I thought.
David Lee Corbo
I would feel bad because I apologize about her tits.
Matt Hepner
She and her husband are. Oh, divorce. Have a cattle farm with 150 cow, 15 turkey.
David Lee Corbo
Nice.
Matt Hepner
Chickens, pigs, etc. I used to have a lot of chickens, but they're all dead. I ended up killing them. It's not. It's not.
David Lee Corbo
You keep putting your sins in them and then swinging them over your head until they're dead.
Top Lobster
Well, I think it was your cuss words is what your dad trying to get across was like. You're using all those cuss words and it's causing us to lose the chickens.
Matt Hepner
Yeah, they're.
David Lee Corbo
They're.
Matt Hepner
They're leaving the flock.
David Lee Corbo
What are you doing?
Matt Hepner
I ended up returning to college in 2013 and studied civil engineering. Worked for Ducks Unlimited designing and inspecting dams and wetlands.
David Lee Corbo
Damn.
Matt Hepner
What the hell does that mean? I worked for Ducks.
Top Lobster
Ducks Unlimited as a company. But I don't. But I didn't realize that they do inspect dams and wetlands.
David Lee Corbo
Well, now you know, I didn't even.
Matt Hepner
Never even heard of this company. Later worked with and with an environmental water company designing the water treatment ponds, channels, etc and now I work mostly from home doing estimating and cost estimates for municipalities consulting company.
David Lee Corbo
Okay, but where's the spooky?
Matt Hepner
Thanks for doxing yourself. There is no spooky.
David Lee Corbo
There's no spooky. We're just going on. We're just talking about spooky, man.
Matt Hepner
Doesn't get spooky at all.
David Lee Corbo
And see, now we're never gonna let you recommend another one of these.
Top Lobster
I didn't recommend it. I literally just forwarded it.
David Lee Corbo
We had a meeting before we did this and you were like, I want to read this one.
Matt Hepner
Go ahead, read it. Finish. Read. Because I want to eat these M M's.
David Lee Corbo
Go ahead, read it.
Top Lobster
Matt. You want me to read?
David Lee Corbo
Yeah, dude. Do it.
Top Lobster
Matt.
David Lee Corbo
It's a lot of teas, guys. Might like this, It's a lot of tea.
Top Lobster
We live on a three aces of land is what he wrote. No, that's what he wrote. He wrote three aces. I think he made three acres of land. And my wife and I also have a food forest. My wife, Hugo beds apple, pear, cranberry, raspberry, strawberry, blueberry, hazelnuts, scarrets.
Matt Hepner
He's gonna start talking about garlic.
David Lee Corbo
This is crazy.
Top Lobster
Greenhouse dome, all kinds of things. My wife's vision.
David Lee Corbo
It's not what this show is about.
Top Lobster
I dig holes. Dude, that's awesome, man. He's growing a little farm.
David Lee Corbo
Very cool level.
Top Lobster
We also took archery lesson last year from a Hungarian horse riding. Archery.
Matt Hepner
Do you do archery, Matt? You look like a guy that no, Aiden does.
David Lee Corbo
You look like an archery type of mo.
Top Lobster
I don't get in the woods enough to be out there during archery season.
David Lee Corbo
Oh, okay.
Top Lobster
Yeah.
Matt Hepner
Well, maybe when you become a full time podcaster, you could just screw off and do nothing like we do.
Top Lobster
Who can be a full time podcaster? Dude, it's literally like 0.5%. Congratulations, you guys, on the 0.5. Yeah, that was big.
David Lee Corbo
Because the Patreon members would appreciate that. Yeah, we just. The show just became big enough that we officially entered the.05 percentile of all audio platforms.
Matt Hepner
I wish I knew if that's good or not.
Top Lobster
Yeah, that's very good.
David Lee Corbo
It's pretty good.
Matt Hepner
When do we get paid, Matt? When do you pay us?
Top Lobster
I'm not doing this. No subs Mess. The Holy Spirit does that. I didn't mean to say that in a hostile way.
David Lee Corbo
Out of context. Address the chat, Matt.
Top Lobster
God and Jesus are in the heavenly realm, but the Holy Spirit's here on the earth. So Jesus is at the right hand of the Father, interceding for us in heaven. The Holy Spirit is here interceding for us on earth. So the fight's fixed. We don't need any dead saints. We don't need Mary, who's just a human just like everybody else. We don't need anybody else doing anything.
David Lee Corbo
No, dude, she's co Redeemer.
Top Lobster
It's us and God.
David Lee Corbo
Smash my head against the thing.
Top Lobster
Yeah, Z man, I did.
David Lee Corbo
That was a bad throw.
Top Lobster
We do pour over. We do stop reading the 24 grams in. 360 grams out for a true 15 minutes, no more.
David Lee Corbo
That's it. Now we have to hide the chat.
Top Lobster
Because you guys were moving around like throwing tic tacs.
David Lee Corbo
No, you were supposed to be reading about this guy in his many mansions or whatever the hell he's Talking about his fruits.
Top Lobster
Okay. We also took archery lessons last year from a Hungarian horse riding archery professional. That sounds like a lot. So I don't think he was just taking archery lessons. I think he was taking archery lessons. Like riding on.
David Lee Corbo
I think he's rich.
Top Lobster
Hungarian horseback.
David Lee Corbo
Hungarian horseback, horse riding, archery lessons. Is. That's rich. He white. I hate this guy.
Top Lobster
So we are going to set up a range behind the house to work on breaking my sin of the target.
Matt Hepner
Thank you.
Top Lobster
Oh, one interesting thing about me, my family on my mother's side, six interesting things recently got recognition of our native heritage. Strange thing is my great, great, great, great, great, great, great great grandfather's name is Wasa. His son is Abram. Asa. His son is Abraham Assad. Is that beep weird or what? Either the Jesuits got to us or maybe we're one of the lost tribes.
David Lee Corbo
This guy's like, I don't have enough cool going on. Maybe I'm part of a lost tribe.
Top Lobster
Googling Asa as a family name. You get Japan or Israel.
David Lee Corbo
Damn. All right, we get it, dude. You're the.
Top Lobster
I have to say thank you in part to top David Ahmet.
David Lee Corbo
It's a lot of tea.
Top Lobster
I am closer to God than ever.
David Lee Corbo
If you were, you'd capitalize that.
Matt Hepner
Oh, by the way of people. People who are the came by. The couple that came.
David Lee Corbo
I didn't get to meet them.
Matt Hepner
Tori. Yeah. And I don't remember his wife's name. Ah, they're here. They're adopting a kid.
David Lee Corbo
His wife.
Matt Hepner
His wife. They're adopting a kid.
David Lee Corbo
That's awesome.
Matt Hepner
Kids in the icu. So give him some prayers. But really cool. Ran into this guy. Not in the middle of nowhere, but. But I shouldn't have even been there. Like I.
Top Lobster
You shouldn't.
David Lee Corbo
Yeah. I don't really like when you go out.
Matt Hepner
I went and I went in like to scoot with my kids. We were scooting in.
David Lee Corbo
In. In Spanish Springs.
Top Lobster
Oh, he was doing some illegal stuff, dude. Like, he said he shouldn't have been there.
David Lee Corbo
Stealing from Walmart.
Matt Hepner
I was selling drugs and scooting with my kids. That's a good cover. They don't stop you when you're with kids.
David Lee Corbo
Do you see how nervous he is that he can't see the chat? His fingers are going. And he's staring at the side of the screen where they used to be. Who knows what they're saying, Matt, you'll never know what the chat's saying now. He's still looking for them. Like they're gonna pop up, shout out to Tory.
Matt Hepner
I actually gave him my number. Might be a mistake.
Top Lobster
If you sit in this seat, where.
David Lee Corbo
Are you supposed to stare us?
Matt Hepner
I mean, the people here in the room.
Top Lobster
There's a look back at you guys. I'm gonna look at you while you read. I don't think so.
David Lee Corbo
Well, that's our conversation first. Dude, you can have a conversation.
Top Lobster
You want me to stare at you?
Matt Hepner
I'm gonna look at you.
David Lee Corbo
No, you have to.
Matt Hepner
Okay.
David Lee Corbo
He's made a mockery of this.
Matt Hepner
Say thank you in part to top David and Matt. The 15 Ts.
David Lee Corbo
No, you read this already. I'm closer to God, but he can't capitalize it. We get.
Top Lobster
Dude, we're so far beyond this, but.
Matt Hepner
Admittingly, not close enough.
David Lee Corbo
Hey, Ravens.
Matt Hepner
Now he's talking to just you guys. Raven slash Matt. Can I suggest without solicitation, when you feel Mr. Nasty about to present himself, especially in relationship to Israel, in relation to Israel, play him this song.
David Lee Corbo
We won't, because it'll get his copyright stricken. We're not clicking that.
Matt Hepner
Not clicking that link goes to too.
David Lee Corbo
Nancy's bringing up the chat on the screen. Chuck from Guava.
Matt Hepner
She's tempting you, dude. Although sometimes I can't see the chat anymore.
Top Lobster
I'm gonna look at Top while he talks.
Matt Hepner
Maybe even many times. Mr. Nasty is required. So you decide.
Top Lobster
Required for what?
David Lee Corbo
I don't know.
Matt Hepner
Let me look at what's gonna be.
Top Lobster
Mean to your dad for no reason.
David Lee Corbo
If. If you want somebody to be mean. Mr. Nasty is.
Top Lobster
I love that.
David Lee Corbo
What is this?
Matt Hepner
It's Modest Yahoo Jerusalem.
David Lee Corbo
Get out of here with Modest Yahoo.
Top Lobster
Dude, stop. Yahoo.
David Lee Corbo
He did have one song, but I try with all my.
Top Lobster
I love that your dad was in here just reprimanding you, and your mom was, like, in the background, like, going like this and going like.
David Lee Corbo
Like.
Matt Hepner
I wonder what the conversation was like. They were like, today's the day we're going to tell.
David Lee Corbo
Do you remember that song?
Matt Hepner
He's going to stop saying the N word and we're going to tell him in front of his friends. So it's going to work.
David Lee Corbo
When you think about that as a mission.
Matt Hepner
But you put me in such a bad situation. I love my dad. And now you made me have to tell you. No.
David Lee Corbo
Yeah.
Matt Hepner
In front of my friends.
David Lee Corbo
In front of my friends.
Matt Hepner
I can't let you punk me.
Top Lobster
No. At any point in. It was like, danny, if you don't listen to me, you're not playing dominoes.
David Lee Corbo
Next.
Top Lobster
Did he say that?
David Lee Corbo
No, I don't think he called you by your prison name or neither.
Matt Hepner
Dominoes. You play dominoes?
Top Lobster
You guys never invite me.
Matt Hepner
Well, there's a reason for that. All right. All this to say.
Top Lobster
Make me read while I'm there.
Matt Hepner
All of this to say. Here's the big part.
David Lee Corbo
Part.
Matt Hepner
I think you can all be abridged for the little season.
Top Lobster
What is going on in this story? That's supposed to be spooky.
Matt Hepner
This is spooky. But he. Sometimes others can be a little insulting in how he describes the little seasoned people. And I get it.
David Lee Corbo
We're very insulting to pretty much everybody.
Matt Hepner
So this guy's a little.
Top Lobster
True.
David Lee Corbo
He's a little seasoner, a little seasonist.
Matt Hepner
He's riding shirtless on horseback. Back doing archery.
Top Lobster
He never said shirtless. You made that part up.
David Lee Corbo
Of course he's shirtless. If you're gonna do Hungarian horseback archery and you're gonna put a shirt on.
Matt Hepner
The shirts, the shirt is implied that it's not there.
David Lee Corbo
I would have no respect for any man who does Hungarian horseback archery.
Matt Hepner
He left his Babylonian shirt at home.
Top Lobster
It does kind of remind you of that picture where Putin is out there and he's like, riding horseback with no shirt on your right.
Matt Hepner
This is what he's doing to be fair.
David Lee Corbo
Hey, you know what's great, man? On my laptop, I could see the chat.
Matt Hepner
Chat.
David Lee Corbo
Don't look at this.
Matt Hepner
It's kind of crazy.
Top Lobster
I don't even read the chat.
David Lee Corbo
All you do is read the chat.
Matt Hepner
All right, we'll pull it back up.
David Lee Corbo
So is that it? Is that we're done with this guy?
Matt Hepner
No. He wants us to do this.
David Lee Corbo
No.
Matt Hepner
What do we.
David Lee Corbo
We can't make us do anything he says.
Matt Hepner
You know, it's coming from all sides. But having. Having this with the confessionals happen at the very end of the year, almost setting a stage for the 2026 debate among Christians with some of the language used to debate.
Top Lobster
I don't know.
Matt Hepner
The little season Debate. Debate.
Top Lobster
Who's having that debate?
David Lee Corbo
There was a big 2026 little season debate coming. I wasn't aware.
Matt Hepner
Yeah, it already happened. It's almost. It's almost exactly like how flat earth and round earth divided people.
David Lee Corbo
I mean, I'm not divided. I love my little seasoners.
Matt Hepner
I think he has a point. Yeah.
David Lee Corbo
That I don't know what it is.
Matt Hepner
There is a large section of Christians that are in with a little season, and then there's a rest of the. Of Christians that are conventional.
Top Lobster
Yeah. But that's like a billion topics in Christians.
David Lee Corbo
But we united.
Top Lobster
There's Like a huge group of people that think tongues is okay. And there's a giant group of Christians that think tongues is not okay. There's a giant group of Christians that thinks everything's predetermined and man doesn't have any say so in his life. And there's another group that thinks everything is not predetermined. It's just predestined.
Matt Hepner
Do we need another denomination?
David Lee Corbo
I guess a little denomination church at the Little Season.
Top Lobster
I mean, it kind of is its own thing, right?
David Lee Corbo
Of course there's going to be a church of the Little Season soon.
Matt Hepner
We should start it. We should get ahead of it. Oh, and start it.
David Lee Corbo
Is there money in there?
Matt Hepner
Tax free.
David Lee Corbo
Okay.
Matt Hepner
Whatever money there is.
David Lee Corbo
501C3, baby.
Top Lobster
I mean, the curious thing about that one is there's a lot of people like that. I've even noticed that you guys have on that are little seasoned believers that are not even Christians, so.
David Lee Corbo
Well, we did that one time.
Matt Hepner
Yeah.
David Lee Corbo
Can you move over? You.
Top Lobster
You want me to look at you?
David Lee Corbo
Say it.
Matt Hepner
That's fine.
Top Lobster
I'm. I'm only there because I was looking that way.
David Lee Corbo
Well, no, you just had to move your chair over a little bit so you could be in the center of the screen. Anyway, we had one guy that is not a Christian but was a little seasoner, and we didn't even know that.
Matt Hepner
Somebody got mad at me because I posted that clip and they go, why are you platforming? Why are you playing? And I just said, so you can see it? Yeah. And they go, oh, that's actually kind of fair. I was like, yeah, yeah. I just wanted you to see it.
David Lee Corbo
By the way, if you guys saw that clip, it was posted on our YouTube and our Instagram, and it was this guy that's talking about, you know, Christ not actually dying, but like ascending at 33, yada, yada, yada. And he believes in the Little Season. If you saw that and you're like, what is this? Are you promoting it? We're just kind of showing you that it's a wild thing that maybe are some of the fruits of the Little Season belief. Yeah, dude.
Matt Hepner
That's what I'm saying.
David Lee Corbo
You gotta take the chat off the screen because he just locks into what people are saying. It's so crazy.
Matt Hepner
All right, let's finish this.
Top Lobster
Like, smacking them on the hand.
David Lee Corbo
We gotta finish it so we can get back because there's another email that actually, I think has some spooky in it and isn't. Isn't.
Top Lobster
All right, you mean to finish this up.
Matt Hepner
So. Yeah, yeah, I would love. Go ahead. You keep reading. My problem is that it's going to.
Top Lobster
Take the next three days for you to finish reading.
Matt Hepner
We got it.
David Lee Corbo
Really?
Matt Hepner
You're Mr.
Top Lobster
Nasty 2016 Christians with some of the language used. It's almost exactly like how flat earth and round earth divided people. I think it's best the community of those who follow Christ are not divided. My problem I admit is I don't know the Bible well enough to stand firmly. But for me, as in the flat earth round earth discussion, it looks like there is evidence for both.
Matt Hepner
Well, the problem with the little season little seasoners is that they don't know the Bible well enough either.
Top Lobster
Well, no, some of them probably do. No, there's no way.
David Lee Corbo
Probably some guys that are better than others on it. Yeah, because Dobbs probably knows this pretty well.
Matt Hepner
I don't know how you could misconstrue it that way.
Top Lobster
No, because there's a lot of things that people have exact opposing views throughout Garbage man. Just keep reading like so many things like that.
David Lee Corbo
Don't let him. Don't let them blast.
Top Lobster
So you can't just get caught up in that and hating the other side. You just gotta like be like hey, it's cool man.
Matt Hepner
You Matt consider yourself blapped.
Top Lobster
Concession to my admission I bought 150 year old Bible big and thick.
Matt Hepner
Thick.
Top Lobster
Make sure you say thick to yourself.
Matt Hepner
Thick.
Top Lobster
Early last year and getting more familiar with the formal word of God. If I can suggest have yourself Matt, Dave, Ed, TJ and maybe the British guy. I'm not sure why but I find him but some Paul's great. How do a friends thing first together without the audience. Not sure how you could do this but have all who will discuss spend time together, hang out, laugh. This may be a good job for Dave. He can just insult even the pores and they look of it. Or how you broke Matt the face by just pointing it out so they are friends first the ice is broken. Then when discussion starts the rules are we are discussing toward conclusion, not speaking from conclusion.
David Lee Corbo
I didn't understand the vast majority of what you just said.
Top Lobster
I didn't either but I kind of do. I kind of it. None of the words made sense but I get like what he was getting at.
David Lee Corbo
Yeah, none of the sentence structure or the words or the.
Matt Hepner
He wants us to have these people. What. What it feels like is in person.
Top Lobster
To have a discussion on the little season or if it's not a little.
Matt Hepner
Season.
David Lee Corbo
We'Re gonna want to talk about it anymore.
Top Lobster
Oh yeah.
Matt Hepner
This British guy from Britain land.
Top Lobster
Yeah. And like we'll know one day who was right. It's all good.
Matt Hepner
And Matt. What the hell is Matt going to tell them about this?
Top Lobster
I'm not going to do anything in that.
David Lee Corbo
He'll just pour the water.
Matt Hepner
Water.
Top Lobster
Top, this may sound light. Maybe it's a black blessing.
Matt Hepner
Maybe it may sound heavy.
Top Lobster
I was wondering if you were reading or not. Let's go.
David Lee Corbo
Just read it.
Top Lobster
Top. This may sound heavy. Maybe it's a blessing. Maybe it's not to be received or maybe not. But I think you could literally be the bridge.
David Lee Corbo
You are a bit of a bridge.
Top Lobster
There's so many division ends happening at the moment.
Matt Hepner
Divisioning.
David Lee Corbo
There's no division ends.
Top Lobster
I hope this message finds you well. I love you all. Bless you all.
David Lee Corbo
Don't dox him. Don't dox him. Just say he already said where he works. Thank you.
Matt Hepner
Okay. Yeah. I don't think I can be the bridge. Bridge Mac.
David Lee Corbo
The bridge Mac.
Matt Hepner
I'm not that guy. I just burned a bridge with my own parents. Did you see? We covered it for 30 minutes. It was bad.
David Lee Corbo
Well, thank you. I struggle to remember what that was about. Even moments after reading it.
Matt Hepner
He wants us to. To get them together.
Top Lobster
That's the whole point of what that was. Was to do A.
Matt Hepner
Would be great to put them all at that table.
David Lee Corbo
But that would be great. But it's exhausting. It's not a topic that I would love to talk about.
Top Lobster
I know. Can you imagine like a guy, it sounds like your buddy JT loves JC and then obviously BR Demon erasers. These guys are very intelligent, well spoken, well thought guys. And then imagine them having a competent conversation like with Ed. It just. Yeah. Is that going to go anywhere? That's not going to go anywhere.
David Lee Corbo
Debate never goes anywhere.
Top Lobster
Yeah. Could you imagine either one of those sides going, oh man, that's a great point. I hadn't considered that before. Maybe you're right. Maybe we're not in a little season.
Matt Hepner
I think it would just come to.
Top Lobster
Yeah, maybe you're right. Maybe we are in the little. It's like it's not going to go.
Matt Hepner
I'll be honest. I don't mean to be insulting. It's just going to come down to coherence of script scripture, of understanding it, of understanding the translations, of understanding the context in which it's. In which it's written and read.
Top Lobster
But even at that it's clearly mysterious. There's clearly some people who think we're in the little Season.
Matt Hepner
I know, but I think again, I think that if you read the scripture, it's clear that we're not. I think that Ed has done a great job.
Top Lobster
Oh, I know. I hear what you're saying, but like, how many times can you go line by line through scripture, like we're not under the wall law. And then you still see the debate that we're under the law.
Matt Hepner
Yeah. So why doesn't matter.
David Lee Corbo
So what's the point?
Top Lobster
That's my point. Like to you, you're like, oh, no, it's so plain in the scripture. To your point, you're saying we're, of course we're not in the little season. It doesn't work like that. Like, like people who want to believe what they want to believe, they do believe it and they find it in scripture. I'm not knocking them or putting them down. They find their own set of scriptures to back up what they want.
Matt Hepner
Not within context is what I'm saying. So the discussion will be, be, here's. Here is, I don't know, Revelation 20 or whatever he's reading from. And then he'll go, here's the con. Ed will say, here's the context. It's actually in my book. Here are the context. And if we want to talk about the psalms that you're trying to back it up with, whether it be 82 or whatever it is, here's the context for that. Here's the context for all this stuff in the Old Testament as well. And they're going to go, yeah, but look at this verse. It says here in the etymology. And then we're just going to get into circles.
Top Lobster
Exactly, exactly.
David Lee Corbo
Guys to. Because those guys are. That would be a dope ass.
Matt Hepner
I like these guys too.
Top Lobster
But let's talk about something else.
David Lee Corbo
Yeah, something else would be good.
Matt Hepner
And it's also like, I'm, I'm coming to a point where I'm like, okay, that stuff is fun. It's real, it's really fun. It's conspiracy. It's fun. But the Bible says this and it says something. It says it very clearly. In my opinion, once you, once you've.
Top Lobster
Read like three or four, the same thing happens with like the Rapture, bro. You got pre trib, post trip and mid trip Rapture. And you can watch a guy who, beyond the shadow of a doubt, goes line upon line, scripture upon scripture, scripture, and he proves beyond the shadow of a doubt, a pre trib rapture. The next guy gets up, doesn't just prove beyond the shadow of a doubt, a Mid trip rapture, he makes the other guy look silly. The next guy, the third guy gets up and he goes, scripture by scripture improves beyond the shadow of a doubt. A post trip rapture. And that the other two are idiots for believing what they think. It's just, this is just how it goes with the scripture, man. It's like you can kind of make.
Matt Hepner
It say whatever season though, that you're.
Top Lobster
A bad guy for that. I just think it's human nature the way you pull from scripture. Scripture you can. There is room and freedom for like seeing different things in the scripture, but.
Matt Hepner
That'S not the, that's never the arguments with the little season. Little season from everything that I've seen is we're pulling scripture, but it's like one verse at a time. And then they go, look at this unexplained thing in history. Look at that unexplained thing. Look at this. There's hundreds of years missing. Look at that. And it's like, certainly all that's true.
Top Lobster
Okay, so you're saying they're, they're pulling more from like history, conspiracy theory, and then like a little bit of scripture.
Matt Hepner
Supplementing with the Bible. Here's a verse, here's a verse on top of that. This is what I seen and, and.
Top Lobster
I don't know enough about it. But if you're saying that, then as.
Matt Hepner
A podcaster who's been doing this and seeing both sides, I'm. This is what I've been seeing. And then the other guy that wrote the book, I'm just seeing him go, here's the scripture. Here are the supplemental scriptures. Here are the explanations. Here's what people and in the time period when this scripture was written and read were thinking of it. And I go, that's a lot. So now my choices are there's a lot of hidden history. There's of a lot of going around. Sorry, dad.
Top Lobster
Oh, he's gonna be pissed.
Matt Hepner
He's gonna be pissed.
David Lee Corbo
Dude.
Matt Hepner
There's a lot of that stuff going around, but it just doesn't, it doesn't explain or, or doesn't justify what the Bible is saying over and over again. So like, or either we're going to be straight Bible or we're going to mix it up and I'm going to choose a side. And it's not even, it's not like, oh, you're choosing Ed side because he comes on your show. I'm choosing the side of the scripture that's not cherry picked and, and mixed around. Around. I'm just Reading it how it is now. That's fair.
David Lee Corbo
Yeah. And I'm.
Matt Hepner
And not just reading it how it is, but when you reference back into the Bible on itself, this is what it's saying.
Top Lobster
I think that's a healthy way for you to.
Matt Hepner
Right. So I, I don't. I'm not really interested in the discussion anymore. And I feel like it's gone a little. It's gone too far that people have to defend it and people. I guess people have to defend it because they've been doing it for a while.
David Lee Corbo
But I don't care like a lot of far it's gotten. I just don't feel like engaging with it anymore. Same like people could go and, and, and, and go as crazy as they want and maybe there is, you know, some fascinating stuff there. I've seen some fascinating stuff.
Matt Hepner
We've done a good job do for me.
Top Lobster
We've done a great job.
Matt Hepner
We've done a good job at not, not like getting ourselves into it and picking a side. We've let. As a matter of fact on this show we've let more little seasoners talk then anti little. The only anti little season we've had on his head.
David Lee Corbo
Yeah.
Matt Hepner
And we did one episode.
David Lee Corbo
We've done like three episodes, maybe even four. The fourth one being accidental on Steel man. Last selling Steel. Manning the little season.
Matt Hepner
Yeah. Maybe three or five episodes tended to.
David Lee Corbo
And then one of them. We, we didn't know it was going to go there, but that's where it ended up going. But yeah, I mean we've. We've talked endlessly about it and I, I can see. I've seen enough stuff where I go as fast.
Matt Hepner
We've done.
Top Lobster
At least you guys have done a great job.
David Lee Corbo
Stop it. Who was the fifth one?
Top Lobster
Our boy Cabbage Patch Kid.
David Lee Corbo
No, that was like number four accidental.
Matt Hepner
For getting his name.
David Lee Corbo
Now JT Topher and Paul stops. Oh, that's right. Topher. Yeah. So we've done Y5 episodes. But in.
Matt Hepner
Topher brought up a great point. Like there's this black sediment that is like layers under the earth. It's not everywhere, but in certain parts of the earth. I think that definitely in South America and it's like this rich soil indicating that there was like a crazy burn. Yeah, like, like a, a mass burn.
Top Lobster
Oh, that's that type of food foresting that you do when you make a biochar. Like they like they did that in all of South America. That's not because of a little season or a long season or a big season. That's just like a farming mess method.
David Lee Corbo
Well, whatever the case may be, that.
Matt Hepner
It'S existing naturally there because there was some sort of like crazy burn off, a high temperature burn off that that's how this could exist. And he's the guy that he's developing biochar. He's the guy that's doing the science behind it. So he said that. That's interesting. And he said he leans toward the. Towards the little season because of that. And there's also other things. And it's like there's a lot of things.
David Lee Corbo
By the way, I think Topher crushes. Yeah, he loved that.
Matt Hepner
He rules. I just. But again, it's like that's not. That's in South America, but that's not the whole, whole Earth. It's. It's just not. It might be localized. Maybe it is more places than just South America, but it's like it's still not enough evidence to. For me to go.
David Lee Corbo
There are probably people, though, that would look at me and say, like, I care about the. Stop looking at the chat.
Matt Hepner
I'll pull it up over here.
David Lee Corbo
No, don't, don't. Don't let him. Because he's going. He's freaking out that I care about the whole UFO disclosure thing too much. So whatever somebody else's little season is.
Matt Hepner
Topher will probably be here soon.
David Lee Corbo
Soon.
Top Lobster
Terra preta. That's what they call it. JJ 1.10.
David Lee Corbo
I would love to have. Yeah, that's right. Tover is going to be here soon. That'll be cool.
Top Lobster
We'll have them out to the house to make some biochar.
David Lee Corbo
But that's like, you know, the way that people obsess over the little season. Like right now I'm locked into this alien disclosure thing because I feel like it's.
Top Lobster
Yeah, you're really obsessing over it, man.
David Lee Corbo
Well, yeah, because it feels like it's time. It feels like they're pushing for a big gay reveal of some sort with the Bledsows and with, you know, the disclosure documentary. And then they're talking about Trump doing it. And now there's. There's so many people on this kind of. In this space who are all.
Matt Hepner
All.
David Lee Corbo
There's like a vibration happening. It's all starting to bubble up. And I'm like, oh, are they about to do it? I think they might do it. By the way, guys, we're gonna have this debate with Timothy Albarino this coming Tuesday. And then after that, what we are. Stop it. And then after that, on Wednesday, we're Gonna have fringe to talk about the divine feminine aspect of this whole deception which you know, the Bledsoes are talking about the lady and this is a big thing that everything is pointing towards Isis, Ishtar, Hathor, Mother Mary. One entity, many different names. The Bledsoes are saying that this thing is Mother Mary. It's, it's a whole mess and we're going to talk about that.
Matt Hepner
So the reason this, this is going to go like in contradiction to what Albarino is saying because if aliens are not demons, the defense will be because of Pleiadians or Toll Nords.
Top Lobster
Yeah.
Matt Hepner
And this is the kind of stuff that she's been experiencing which is demonic because they're putting her through hell.
David Lee Corbo
Yes, yes. So we have first hand testimony and experience or fringe is going to be back to talk about this.
Matt Hepner
But I guess the argument then will be which testimony is legitimate and which is not. And these here are your receipts, here's your proof. So it's going to eventually go nowhere, but hopefully we have fun with.
David Lee Corbo
Well yeah, I would hope so.
Top Lobster
Jack the Raven just won't have me on his show. Dude. I've requested to come on multiple times and so I'd love to surprise him.
Matt Hepner
But he'd be pissed because he's reading the chat. I will say one more thing about the little season. Your thing, your big hole up is about the Great Commission and where that falls during the little season.
David Lee Corbo
That's an interesting thing. Some people just say like, yeah, keep doing it. Yeah, you keep doing it.
Matt Hepner
Yeah. My thing is where is the. Where, where, where does the Holy Spirit.
David Lee Corbo
That's another one. Yeah, that's another big runner.
Matt Hepner
That's a big one. If, if Jesus has to be taken off the earth for the Holy Spirit to come, when Jesus returns, the Holy Spirit comes back. Like, is there only one honor Earth?
David Lee Corbo
Well that's the thing. If you believe that the restrainer that has to be removed for the man of predition to come to power is the Holy Spirit, then what's happening? Does it say it comes back when the second coming of Christ happens?
Top Lobster
Well, where does it say that Jesus leaves after, After Satan's loosed for a little season?
Matt Hepner
Doesn't. It's, it's only one verse.
David Lee Corbo
It doesn't say that he's. He leaves. It just says Satan is loosed. And then, you know, I guess so.
Top Lobster
Jesus comes back for a thousand years unloosed on loose is Satan, Satan. And then so, so where is Jesus now? He just. I don't know, it just seems like a weird I just had never heard any doctrine like that before. Which doesn't mean I'm right there. Wrong. I'm just saying I've never heard nothing like that.
Matt Hepner
There's a lot, there's a lot of.
Top Lobster
When you read it, you don't assume that Jesus like leaves while Satan's out. I don't know. It's weird.
David Lee Corbo
Yeah, I don't know.
Top Lobster
I don't know, but whatever. Can I. Can I read the.
David Lee Corbo
No, I didn't read this one. You read before.
Top Lobster
No, I didn't.
David Lee Corbo
Dude, you read the first. Go ahead.
Top Lobster
Then he read the second one. I only filled in because.
David Lee Corbo
Do it well, please.
Top Lobster
Okay.
Matt Hepner
It's not nice.
Top Lobster
Dude, you're nasty to everybody. You need a little bit of it back.
David Lee Corbo
This is ghost.
Top Lobster
Please.
David Lee Corbo
From husband and gay men.
Top Lobster
It doesn't have 17 rooms in basement.
Matt Hepner
Ha's taking a beating.
David Lee Corbo
Yeah, she is.
Top Lobster
This very funny is my ghost story. We bought a house in the country.
Matt Hepner
Okay. No, we're not gonna do it like that.
David Lee Corbo
Does it like that.
Top Lobster
We were going to live off the land. Lol. The people we bought it from were the kids of an old couple. Couple who had died. No one told us in the house. But yes, they died in the house. What does that mean? No one told us in the house. Like there was like entities in the house that should have told them somebody.
David Lee Corbo
No, I think when they bought the house, nobody told them that somebody died in the house. But they later on found out that somebody died in the house.
Matt Hepner
No one in the house told them because there was no one in the.
David Lee Corbo
House outside of the house. They were dead.
Top Lobster
It all started small, like little things. A door open. You thought you had clothes. Things moved, moved, but nothing major. But it soon got out of control. You know where you are telling everyone my house is haunted. Please help.
Matt Hepner
Why are you reading in such a condition? Show some respect.
Top Lobster
No, I'm trying to read it. Like the way they're saying it, it.
Matt Hepner
Probably took them a month to write that sentence.
Top Lobster
I know, I'm trying to read it where it's like got some oomph behind it.
David Lee Corbo
G by Jonathan says, Bet you if this was in the King's English, you'd be able to read it.
Matt Hepner
Oh God.
Top Lobster
Perfectly fine. He's talking to you.
David Lee Corbo
You read.
Top Lobster
People laugh and don't take you seriously. Seriously. They just want to know when the party is so they can come see the ghosts. Well, we did.
Matt Hepner
Wait, what?
David Lee Corbo
Yeah, I get it, I get it. They.
Top Lobster
Yeah.
Matt Hepner
Oh, so she had like ghost house, ghost parties.
Top Lobster
Like oh, haha. Yeah, have us over. Let's watch the ghost party.
David Lee Corbo
And she's like, no, dude, I'm terrified. My life is bad now.
Top Lobster
Well, we did hosted that party last year for Halloween, but before that happened, about a month before things got worse.
Matt Hepner
Matt should have read that story with Hollywood Holly because he just went off today about. He's like, you know, I don't. I no longer want the things of the world. I used to go to other people's houses and say, I want that. But when I went to Matt's house, oh yeah, I saw a three story fireplace.
David Lee Corbo
Yeah.
Matt Hepner
Never in my life.
David Lee Corbo
Don't even know why there's a projector on it. It's like he's trying to get into the heavenly realms.
Matt Hepner
You want to talk about rooms?
David Lee Corbo
Many rooms in his mansion.
Matt Hepner
You want to talk about a maze?
David Lee Corbo
Yeah.
Matt Hepner
I don't even know.
Top Lobster
Are you saying.
David Lee Corbo
I'm saying.
Top Lobster
I'm talking about your house. Farmhouse, dude. It's like an old farmhouse. Farmhouse.
David Lee Corbo
No, I don't think so. It has booth seating.
Top Lobster
It literally has a booth in it.
David Lee Corbo
Yeah, 1980. He said that like it was bad.
Matt Hepner
Yeah.
David Lee Corbo
You're so rich, you have a booth and it's not enough. Right. Because you just keep pouring the brown water.
Matt Hepner
Booth, he's got a table, he's got.
David Lee Corbo
An island, he's got a food forest.
Matt Hepner
He's got. He's got two living rooms. He's got a couch. That makes my couch.
Top Lobster
I wish you guys would have saw the place when we got there.
David Lee Corbo
Dude.
Top Lobster
It's been a ton of work.
David Lee Corbo
The fireplace of Babel. You're trying to get into the heavenly realms. Yeah, that is exactly.
Matt Hepner
This place is nice. It's crazy.
Top Lobster
No, it's not, dude. It's not.
David Lee Corbo
Read the Bible better than letters. Yes, but the thing is they both have letters and he can for some reason read one. I'm convinced now that it's not Matt, it's the Holy Spirit that's reading scripture on straight Bible. Because this is not good.
Matt Hepner
Yeah, he like, locks in.
David Lee Corbo
What is wrong with the way I'm reading? It's so bad.
Matt Hepner
And then, you know when they're telling you everyone at my house is haunted?
Top Lobster
No. No. Okay, I'll read normal.
David Lee Corbo
Okay. Thank God.
Matt Hepner
Thank you.
David Lee Corbo
So that's.
Matt Hepner
I. I didn't have to do this whole sp spiel.
Top Lobster
The fridge left in the house was freaky instead of like someone was moving bottles around inside. Okay, stop laughing. The fridge left in the house was freaky. It sounded like someone was moving bottles around inside it or it would growl.
Matt Hepner
The fridge left in the house, comma space was freaky. You see, I'm reading that, you know.
David Lee Corbo
You do a comma space.
Top Lobster
Yeah, the fridge left in the house. That fridge. This is a description of that fridge. It was freak. Freaky. It sounded like someone was moving bottles around inside it.
David Lee Corbo
That's not a place for a comma.
Top Lobster
Or it would growl.
David Lee Corbo
It's fine.
Top Lobster
Yeah. I'm just trying to make it work, man. I'm trying to read better so that it, like, helps everybody understand.
Matt Hepner
I think it was Tapo Chico bottles. Like, the real expensive ones, the big ones, dude.
David Lee Corbo
I'll tell you what, though. Now that I have a Soda Stream, every drink is a Taco Chico.
Top Lobster
You could open it and nothing would be knocked over or broken, but it sounded like it. Ghostbusters. Zool definitely lived in there. So we bought a new fridge. The dishwasher would occasionally come on and pour water on the floor. Replaced it, of course, the cat.
David Lee Corbo
How much of this is just like.
Top Lobster
Some.
David Lee Corbo
Real quick, by the way, get like new when you write into us. If you could spare us the layout of your house, if you could not.
Matt Hepner
Tell us, we're gonna do more of that.
David Lee Corbo
Like, guys, this is a place for. When I start the show, I go, go. Welcome to another episode of NDS Chronicles, the show where we read your paranormal.
Matt Hepner
You know what they. You know what they're doing to us.
David Lee Corbo
Not your house layout.
Matt Hepner
I know what they're doing, David.
David Lee Corbo
What?
Matt Hepner
I know what they're doing, and I don't like it.
David Lee Corbo
This is exactly. Yeah, I know. I know.
Matt Hepner
What they're doing is banter.
David Lee Corbo
They're doing.
Top Lobster
Yeah.
Matt Hepner
Yeah.
David Lee Corbo
Oh, is this payback for our banter?
Matt Hepner
We do banter, but it's entertaining. Yeah, this banter is okay.
Top Lobster
This is getting rowdy, though. The cabinets in the kitchen. Because everything before that, it's like, in the kitchen. All right, you bought some. You bought. Bought a refrigerator. You bought a dishwasher.
David Lee Corbo
We were there for that.
Top Lobster
We're not working, but now it's getting weird. There's really no description or explanation for this. The cabinets in the kitchen would open for no reason as you would be sitting in the breakfast nook or when.
Matt Hepner
No one would be in the room.
Top Lobster
Walk in and find every cabinet open has a way of freaking you out. Water would just come on in the shower or faucets. Our daughter thought Alexa turned on the shower. Power lights would sometimes stop working for no reason. I don't know. I live in an old house, and some of that stuff is happening Well.
David Lee Corbo
I mean, does all your water turn on and all your cabinets open too? Stop nagging her.
Matt Hepner
Maybe your house is haunted.
Top Lobster
Lights wouldn't. Blaming lights would sometimes stop working for no reason. Just wouldn't work.
David Lee Corbo
Oh yeah. What were you wearing?
Top Lobster
The oven when turned on and would not turn off. We thought it was just another broken appliance. Appliance repairman said it couldn't happen happen. But I tell you it did. I tell you it did sell us another appliance. I think he thought I was crazy.
David Lee Corbo
Crazy face.
Top Lobster
You would hear voices at times.
Matt Hepner
Is this a girl?
David Lee Corbo
Of course it's a girl.
Top Lobster
Yeah. And our bird would talk in a different voice that we never heard before. Oh, they're bird people. They got a bird that talks.
Matt Hepner
I thought about getting a bird.
David Lee Corbo
That's kind of scary.
Matt Hepner
It's a. It's a big. It's a big commitment.
David Lee Corbo
They bond to one person and then to everybody else. Are typically very mean at this.
Matt Hepner
Like me.
Top Lobster
You would hear voices at times. And our bird would talk in a different voice that we never heard before. The other bird would yell all day. See that? See that? We actually had to re home him because he got so upset by this house, sadly. But he just couldn't take it. This went on for years.
Matt Hepner
What a. He was soft. He's probably so.
David Lee Corbo
He's trying to tell people like, do you see this?
Matt Hepner
That.
David Lee Corbo
Because it can speed this parent season to the spiritual realms. And they're like, we gotta get rid of this.
Matt Hepner
Kept trying to apologize to a walrus. We had to rehearse.
David Lee Corbo
I don't like that.
Top Lobster
It was mostly in three rooms. We put crosses up. We blessed the house.
David Lee Corbo
Yeah, there you go.
Top Lobster
We staged the house.
David Lee Corbo
That's dumb as. What is that? Crosses up. And we blessed the house. And then we say.
Matt Hepner
Then we put the demons back.
David Lee Corbo
What the. We offered them a burnt off.
Top Lobster
We said prayers. We tried everything.
Matt Hepner
Soul circles.
Top Lobster
Nothing stopped these ghosts.
David Lee Corbo
We tried summoning bigger demons to take out the little demons. It just got worse.
Matt Hepner
Go figure.
Top Lobster
You would get tripped, pushed, or lights turned off on you. Knocking was often heard in the main floor bathroom. Like someone at the door. Things would go missing and then reappear days later. What we thought, it's the wind, it's the dogs, it's the oil wells. It was an earthquake. Everything before we decided it was ghosts. And our neighbor happened to visit and tell us about finding the couple dead in the house. Now this is how it finally ended.
Matt Hepner
Okay. I like. I kind of like.
David Lee Corbo
Yeah, we're getting better. I feel like, can you do something about buying a house and then later on finding out, like, you didn't disclose the murder?
Matt Hepner
Yeah, it's illegal. You have to disclose the murder.
David Lee Corbo
Is it in every state? I wonder. Maybe some states don't have that. We don't know where this is. But I feel like you should be able to do something after the fact because, yeah, I should be able to know if somebody got murdered, you know, in the house that I bought, especially in this market.
Matt Hepner
Would you want to be like, would you want to haunt your own house? No. He's like, I'm going to go to heaven. I'm going to live for 150 years and I'm going right to heaven.
David Lee Corbo
Have.
Matt Hepner
But if you had a chance to haunt your own house after somebody bought it, would you do it?
Top Lobster
No.
David Lee Corbo
Like, if there was nothing else going on.
Top Lobster
Yeah, I mean, nothing else going on.
David Lee Corbo
This is. It's called a hypothetical. Have you. What if you didn't have breakfast?
Top Lobster
Going to the eternal realm. As soon as I'm done here, I'm going there.
David Lee Corbo
Let me.
Matt Hepner
All done. My good and faithful servant. Yes. You got a choice?
Top Lobster
No. I want to hang with you, Jesus. I want to do whatever you're doing.
David Lee Corbo
How would you feel if you didn't.
Matt Hepner
Have the fun this morning? It's a lot of fun, boss.
Top Lobster
Don't matter. I'm with the Lord, man.
Matt Hepner
How would you feel if you didn't have breakfast this morning? It's a great question.
David Lee Corbo
How would you feel?
Top Lobster
He's asking you no matter what. How would you feel if you didn't have breakfast?
Matt Hepner
But I did have breakfast.
Top Lobster
No, you didn't. What'd you have?
Matt Hepner
But I did.
Top Lobster
What'd you have?
David Lee Corbo
Exactly?
Top Lobster
Exactly. One night, the ghost knocked three times on our bedroom door and opened it and closed it suddenly.
David Lee Corbo
Dang.
Top Lobster
The dogs didn't bark. All three just sat staring at the door, not daring to even leave their beds. Two Germans and a basset hound just looked, not moving at the door, completely quiet. This freaked me out more and it pissed my husband off. He was mad as hell.
Matt Hepner
He was mad as hell.
Top Lobster
He had half at it. Normal people would have checked to see if someone was in the house.
Matt Hepner
He had. Oh, he had. And then there should be a comma.
David Lee Corbo
He had had.
Matt Hepner
He had had it.
David Lee Corbo
He had had it.
Matt Hepner
Is this. I wonder if these are the same people that taught you the Bible initially. Do you guys have a.
Top Lobster
Are you just picking that up?
Matt Hepner
You have a freezer full of scrimps.
Top Lobster
Wait, you're just figuring this out?
Matt Hepner
Now you tell David it's a funny story. No. Okay.
David Lee Corbo
I don't want to know it anyway.
Top Lobster
What is the story?
Matt Hepner
The people who taught you the Bible at first.
Top Lobster
What about them?
Matt Hepner
Player?
David Lee Corbo
Black people taught you the Bible?
Top Lobster
Dude, black folks were, like, major instrumental in the beginning of my life.
Matt Hepner
He's reading the Botanic Bible.
David Lee Corbo
I can tell.
Top Lobster
I don't care.
David Lee Corbo
You are?
Matt Hepner
Yeah.
Top Lobster
That's why I don't like when you guys are racist, man.
David Lee Corbo
Black people were instrumental in my life, too.
Top Lobster
Amen, brother.
Matt Hepner
Beating me up, stealing my stuff.
David Lee Corbo
Took my bike, you know they did. And teach me how to dance.
Top Lobster
Normal people would have checked to see if someone was in the house. Nope. It was a ghost. They had invaded my husband's space. The upstairs. That was it. My husband lost his.
David Lee Corbo
That was his fat room.
Matt Hepner
The basement, the first floor. That's fine. But the.
Top Lobster
Bobby was okay with that.
Matt Hepner
I got. I got Standards Coffee Shop and Casino.
Top Lobster
He spent over an hour on the landing standing in his underwear, yelling profanity. This is like, top on a Tuesday night, Though we're being honest. It's just like a Tuesday night. Something that happened on the show.
David Lee Corbo
Yeah.
Matt Hepner
Sometimes I'll go out. I'll go out on my. On my porch, and I'll just shoot my gun.
David Lee Corbo
Blah, blah, blah. I like that. Yeah.
Matt Hepner
What are you gonna do about it?
David Lee Corbo
Keeping the property taxes. From New Jersey. We're in South Jersey.
Top Lobster
You were always like, stop reading the chat.
David Lee Corbo
That's right.
Matt Hepner
Stop reading the chat. These people don't deserve it.
David Lee Corbo
I'm from Freehold.
Matt Hepner
We know.
Top Lobster
They invaded my husband's space. The upstairs. That was it.
Matt Hepner
Watch this. Watch this, because it's gonna throw a mat for a loop. Go ahead, keep reading.
Top Lobster
I see this coming. He spent over an hour on the landing in his underwear, yelling profanity. Think white man yelling like Samuel L. Jackson at Snakes on a Plane.
Matt Hepner
All right, so we have. We have some situation here.
David Lee Corbo
Do black scent. When you read this.
Matt Hepner
Next we know we got a white man.
David Lee Corbo
Yeah.
Matt Hepner
Yelling like Samuel Jackson. Listen here, ghost. You better get out of here.
David Lee Corbo
I went through a phase where if I got, like, really angry when I was younger, I would do, like, really intense, like, black scent.
Matt Hepner
My mom does sassy because I was raised.
David Lee Corbo
So every time there was, like, violence and I got into a fight, it would be like in the hood. So I went through this fate. It took a while to get it out of my system. There's a video online of it.
Matt Hepner
Did you loop? Did you loop?
Top Lobster
I suppose.
David Lee Corbo
My.
Top Lobster
My question.
David Lee Corbo
There's a video online Of a dude coming at me with a baseball bat.
Top Lobster
What?
David Lee Corbo
And he's.
Top Lobster
What year was this?
David Lee Corbo
It was. I don't know.
Matt Hepner
Where? Online.
Top Lobster
Ah. How do we find this dude? This is like a fight. This is like the fight he sent us a couple months ago.
Matt Hepner
Dude.
David Lee Corbo
But what happened? He's got a baseball bat and he's like coming at me. And him and his wife are both drunk and she. So I'm like, you know, everything's cool. I'm keeping it cool. At least. Least. And he's not threatening with the bat yet, but it's implied. His wife is talking, she's drunk, she trips and falls. I point and make fun of her very loudly. And he picks the bat up. And as soon as the bat picks up, I code switch. And it becomes really.
Top Lobster
You start talking like a black voice.
David Lee Corbo
Oh, talking. Threatening his life. Threatening to kill him. Call him.
Matt Hepner
I know he did.
David Lee Corbo
Edward, I wish you would. Oh, my God. Bro. Bro, it was crazy.
Matt Hepner
Did you fight? Did you guys fight?
David Lee Corbo
He. Somebody convinced him to put the bat down. And then I picked the bat up. Now I got the bat. And then the whole thing turns into. And then as soon as I pick the bat up, the cops come around the corner. I put the bat down. He picks it up just in time for them to see him wielding the bat. And then they grab him and they throw him on the ground and.
Top Lobster
Wait, this is like a recent dream or this is something you dreamed, like, a long time ago.
David Lee Corbo
I can't.
Top Lobster
I got dreams.
Matt Hepner
This never happened. Matt accurately called it. This never happened.
David Lee Corbo
No, it wasn't real. Can you guys keep.
Matt Hepner
None of this is real, Chad. This is a fever real. This.
Top Lobster
This whole white man yelling Samuel L. Jackson at Snakes on a plane. Nothing moved. He went on for over an hour telling the ghost to stay there. Mother effing as downstairs.
Matt Hepner
My dad won't like that.
Top Lobster
The ghost activity did die down over the next few days.
David Lee Corbo
It did die.
Matt Hepner
Is this an interracial marriage?
David Lee Corbo
Yeah. Oh, yeah.
Matt Hepner
It's gotta be.
Top Lobster
Yeah.
David Lee Corbo
No waste mixing that.
Top Lobster
Next week we got our gay friends.
David Lee Corbo
Now we just got everybody. This is a. Like a D.E.I. household.
Matt Hepner
Oh, this is great.
Top Lobster
Keep reading that. Next week we got our gay friends. One was going to be a priest, but gave it up to marry the love of his life. Damn.
Matt Hepner
I'll remember. I don't think about it. Matt was warning. Unless he's like, listen, just don't say anything.
David Lee Corbo
Yeah.
Matt Hepner
Remember that. Which one? I don't know if we could say that.
David Lee Corbo
I don't know. I don't remember how when he says, don't say anything, I just like, I. I go and I can't hear anything that he's saying.
Top Lobster
The next week, we got our gay friends. One was going to be a priest, but gave it up to marry the love of his life. Long story. But anyway, they came to our Halloween party because everyone wants to party at the haunted house. Lol.
David Lee Corbo
What?
Top Lobster
They came as a nun in a prison priest. And he had it all in the head butt six. He came in carrying a case, looking like he was going to perform an exorcism. After the party, he blessed, exercised every part of our house. No more goats.
David Lee Corbo
I'm confused. Is this. I thought he was dressed as a. It was a costume.
Top Lobster
Yeah.
Matt Hepner
Yeah.
David Lee Corbo
But he still blessed and exercised the house. And then no more ghosts.
Matt Hepner
Seemed like he was about it and.
David Lee Corbo
They were like, oh, no, this gay fake priest cast me out.
Top Lobster
Yeah, seems unlikely.
David Lee Corbo
This like, where you do a thing like you sage your house and then you're like. It was good for like a few weeks and then it came back even worse.
Matt Hepner
What am I reading right now?
Top Lobster
So either old white ghosts don't like my husband yelling every profanity known to man, or they decided to cross over when two gay men came to bless their house. Both could be true. We live in the Bible Belt.
David Lee Corbo
Could be not. All right, yeah, go ahead. Whatever.
Top Lobster
Think dry county where everyone asks if you have found Jesus in a home church. Dairy Queen gives out free Bibles.
David Lee Corbo
Well, see, I almost found Jesus, but then I decided to BF this man in a legal contract and get the government involved. Involved nothing.
Top Lobster
Pizza Bible in a blizzard. I don't know. But thankfully it worked.
David Lee Corbo
What does that mean?
Matt Hepner
No more.
David Lee Corbo
Hold on a second. Nothing beats a Bible in a blizzard. What is that?
Top Lobster
Dairy Queen. They hand out free Bibles.
Matt Hepner
This story is crazy. And it ends even crazier. Please keep reading.
David Lee Corbo
I kind of love it.
Top Lobster
I don't know. But thankfully it worked. No more old white ghosts. Love you all. All getting a job at Home Depot so I can become a pay pig. Please keep Matt. I love that he is trying to keep you all in line. Lol. Laughing emoji.
Matt Hepner
You need to send a picture of yourself if you're gonna send an email.
David Lee Corbo
This is the greatest. I feel like it's like a big black lady that was really.
Top Lobster
That loves a white man. I think that's awesome.
David Lee Corbo
No, that's beautiful.
Matt Hepner
She likes you, Matt.
David Lee Corbo
What time is it? 1:37. Do we have time for another one? I might be able to find 137.
Top Lobster
Are you on?
David Lee Corbo
I mean, I'm sorry. Doing that. The show is an hour and 37 minutes long.
Matt Hepner
I don't know. It's up to you guys. This was a great story.
David Lee Corbo
It was a great story.
Matt Hepner
They're getting a job at Home Depot. Maybe you could talk to Holly's dad. He, like, owns Home Depot. And then you can get an hourly wage just to listen to the pot. It's kind of counterintuitive, right, to get.
Top Lobster
A job just to pay to watch the show?
Matt Hepner
Yeah.
Top Lobster
I mean, no. Makes it better.
David Lee Corbo
Oh, I'm like, I don't think we got any free time.
Top Lobster
Isn't that fun if it's always free time? Like, free time is only fun when you don't always have free time. So it's special when you. You got it.
Matt Hepner
Yeah. It'll be good to get out the house, get away from the gay ghost and your white husband.
David Lee Corbo
Jeez, man.
Matt Hepner
What?
David Lee Corbo
That was intense. That was, like, really intense, man. I'm trying to see if we have any other ones.
Matt Hepner
Oh, do you think it's real? Do you think that that really happened, or do you think.
Top Lobster
Oh, you never believe these stories, man. That's the weird thing. It's like, you're always very skeptical.
Matt Hepner
Well, she just told us that a gay priest. Gay man, dresses, a priest, exercised.
David Lee Corbo
I don't know how to make of that part.
Top Lobster
Yeah, well, I mean, how long ago was that? Hallo. So it's been a couple months. What if the ghosts come back now, man?
Matt Hepner
Well, there's no time frame.
David Lee Corbo
Oh, man.
Matt Hepner
Right. Or did she say, like, a recent Halloween party?
Top Lobster
Yeah, why wouldn't they just, like, move, bro?
David Lee Corbo
All right, well, I. I got one here.
Matt Hepner
They pull.
David Lee Corbo
And this one. I haven't put it in anything yet.
Top Lobster
Let's dox them.
David Lee Corbo
I'm just gonna read it from the.
Matt Hepner
Okay, so I'll listen.
David Lee Corbo
So this is Colin, whose last name. Yeah, you could read the chat. You just focus on that. Guys. It's called Shadow Person. No doxing. I just called him Colin. Yeah, he go. Was. What is it? Ed May. Don't say that, dude. Top Raven and Nancy. No Matt. No mention of Matt, which is very good, and I appreciate it. This is a Shadow Person story. But first, in background on me and my daughter, we are frequently shadow people.
Top Lobster
That's like, an old thing for. From.
David Lee Corbo
What.
Top Lobster
What. What was that show with George Nori?
David Lee Corbo
George Knapp.
Top Lobster
Oh, George Nori. You got in a fight with him. You called in the show one time, and he didn't like you because you're like, sticking up.
Matt Hepner
That was Art Bell, wasn't it?
David Lee Corbo
What happened, Nance?
Top Lobster
Nothing. Say the name, Nancy. What. What was this show? What was that show when you had called?
David Lee Corbo
Didn't George Nori take over after.
Top Lobster
After Art?
David Lee Corbo
That's why.
Matt Hepner
That's why.
David Lee Corbo
Yeah, yeah. It's coast to coast. We'll just ignore it. And can you continue doing the show? So.
Matt Hepner
All right, all right.
David Lee Corbo
This is a shadow person story, but first, some background. Me and my daughter were frequently of the same mental wavelength. Sometimes we'll say the exact same words in the exact same moment. I know. We do that all the time. Dude. We're linked up on the show.
Matt Hepner
Yeah, we link.
David Lee Corbo
It's because we did that avatar thing where we docked.
Matt Hepner
Yeah. Wouldn't recommend creepy.
David Lee Corbo
No. Well, I mean, it's cool if you want to, like, finish each other's.
Matt Hepner
That's it.
David Lee Corbo
All right, so. So what happens with people close to you, but with us, it's different. It's pretty frequent. The crazy, craziest example is when I was driving with my kids, my daughter and one or both of my sons, and we passed this obnoxious yellow car parked in a driveway. My daughter and I both say something like, whoa, get a load of that. Yellow car. Car. Unremarkable. I'm not sure of the exact words, but the point is, that was the entire sentence at the exact same time, word for word, with that exact inflection.
Matt Hepner
Okay, all right, I'll give it to you. You're talking about telepathy.
David Lee Corbo
Telepathy.
Matt Hepner
Telepathy.
David Lee Corbo
Telepath. It was for sure out of the ordinary. This kind of thing happens constantly with me and her. I'll walk into a room, say literally anything, and she'll rip around and say, I was just about to say that. It happens too often to ignore. All right, so he's laid the foundation that him and his daughter have a psychic. Okay, Link, that's what's going on.
Top Lobster
I appreciate you kind of clarifying and putting the story, but this is good.
David Lee Corbo
Because I could already see this is not that big. And we're getting into the shadow person incident. So this is good pacing. We've set the prerequisite for understanding, focusing.
Top Lobster
And paying attention closely.
David Lee Corbo
You and your daughter got a thing going on where you finish other sentences very quickly. Okay, so, shadow person incident. One day I was with myself, Mic.
Matt Hepner
Because I like the way it sounds.
David Lee Corbo
Oh, yeah. When you do this, it's really good.
Matt Hepner
Yeah.
David Lee Corbo
When you do the. Get the. You touch it. Go ahead. No, touch it some more.
Matt Hepner
Yeah, it's great for the list.
David Lee Corbo
It's very good. I. I like it.
Matt Hepner
It's fine.
David Lee Corbo
Keep reading.
Top Lobster
I'm not doing this.
David Lee Corbo
So. All right. One day I was with my daughter, who was 11 at the time, and my two sons, who were 13. Yeah. No. Stop reading the chat, you psycho.
Top Lobster
I'm not even looking at the chat.
David Lee Corbo
If you go back to that exact moment and you rewind it, his eyes. You could just see so much white of his eyes because he's. He's doing. He's like.
Matt Hepner
It's like I've cut him off from the Matrix. I, like, unplugged his brain.
David Lee Corbo
Yeah, he's doing this. Maybe if I don't turn my neck, they won't see that I'm doing Back.
Matt Hepner
In the Real, where he's covered in goose.
David Lee Corbo
Welcome back to reality. Focus on us, dude. We're doing a show together. Okay? So one day I was with my daughter, who was 11, and my two sons, who were 13 and 14, in the hot tub in my backyard, watching a movie on my lap. Laptop. That's dangerous. You got your laptop in the hot tub? Dude, you're an animal.
Matt Hepner
I thought about doing live streams from the hot tub. Risky, but worth it, probably.
Top Lobster
That would not be cool.
David Lee Corbo
I. You know what? I didn't even realize that was a joke. And I just went, this dude doesn't have a hot tub. I'm, like, thinking about the layout of your house in all the rooms.
Matt Hepner
No, no. Follow me. Matt, are you thinking about the lady?
David Lee Corbo
It would be great to have a hot tub.
Matt Hepner
No, There's a lot of space back there.
David Lee Corbo
Bohemian Grove would be weird.
Matt Hepner
Yeah, it's just big hot tub, right? I mean, he's got three tables. We don't need three. We can remove the middle one. And just a hot tub in perpetuity. Bubbling.
David Lee Corbo
Can we get a T shirt with us in a hot tub? And it just says retard soup. That's actually pretty good. All right, so we're watching the movie on his laptop from the hot tub. From inside the hot tub, you can look straight through the window into my kitchen. It's the window over the sink. Everybody has one of those. Oh, my God.
Matt Hepner
This game with the layouts.
David Lee Corbo
Well, look, these people want to paint.
Top Lobster
Well, no, yeah, I like that. I appreciate that. They're kind of like, showing the layout. Now you can visualize yourself being in the story.
Matt Hepner
I'm just scarred from it. You don't understand what we went through. It's 10 pages of layout and then no story, just layout.
David Lee Corbo
I don't remember what the point of that story was, but I remember the layout thing. As we're watching the movie, I keep seeing out of the corner of my eye this full black human shaped figure moving around the inside of my kitchen. So he's got a black guy in his house. Not good. Call the police. Release maybe. I saw it about three or four times. Nobody else was home and nobody should have been in the house. Every time I tried to look directly at. Asked, what are you looking at, player? No, it didn't say that. It vanished every time he looked at it.
Top Lobster
So he'd see it out of the corner of his eye. But then when you go to look at it, it would go away.
David Lee Corbo
I know, but I try to make a joke about when you look at black people, when they get aggressive.
Top Lobster
It's not funny.
Matt Hepner
Matt doesn't like that.
Top Lobster
I don't.
David Lee Corbo
All right. I thought we were.
Matt Hepner
He doesn't like that in here. No, stop that chat.
David Lee Corbo
Was that aggressive. Did you. Did you think it was funny? The final time I saw it, it walked across my kitchen, straight to the sink. I. It then leaned forward and a little to its right, like it was hunching over the counter to look directly out the window at us in the hot tub.
Top Lobster
That's not creepy.
David Lee Corbo
It's a little bit creepy. This seemed like a perfectly natural thing to do if it were trying to get a better view of us. Despite all of this, I didn't say anything to my kids because I felt like I was observing something that was ongoing going and was just letting it play out.
Top Lobster
Okay, is there any chance that, like, the thing that's looking out the window at him is like, what time's dinner gonna be ready? Do they ever talk like that, or is it just, like. No words?
David Lee Corbo
No, I don't think it. Shadow people don't talk.
Matt Hepner
They just watch.
David Lee Corbo
Just a few minutes later, my daughter said, I just saw a shadow person in the kitchen. That is enough cause for alarm that I would. I would not be thinking shadow person. I'd be like, intruder. If I saw it and my daughter saw it, we saw the silhouette black shadow in my. In my kitchen. I'd be like, kids, call the police. I gotta go in the. I'd be like, nobody go in the house. Call the police. Yeah, if your daughter saw it too.
Matt Hepner
Give me a towel.
David Lee Corbo
Give me a towel. I imagine he's got pants on in the hot tub.
Matt Hepner
Also interesting to say for Matt, big overlap with shadow people and the alien phenomenon.
Top Lobster
Ah.
David Lee Corbo
Oh, yeah.
Matt Hepner
During abduction. Abduction, it's like it's the same experience sometimes deduction, sometimes like sleep paralysis, but.
David Lee Corbo
Same thing over and over again, same same patterns. Brandon W. Said, NDS Chronicles now on hgtv. I mean, that's basically what this show is coming or becoming. She and one of my sons had already told me in the past that they've seen shadow people in an upstairs hallway of our house that was across from the second bathroom on the second floor floor. And in that bathroom, there was a closet. And that closet had a small cubby. And if you went into that cubby, it led to the lower floor. Bathroom, bathroom.
Top Lobster
Secret passageways.
Matt Hepner
Are you serious?
David Lee Corbo
No, I didn't.
Top Lobster
I made all that. Are you dirty?
David Lee Corbo
Okay, so they saw shadow people in the upstairs hallway of her house. So they already know about them. So now I tell them what I'd been seeing before she said anything. And we're all just sitting there like, okay, cool. That was crazy. And then basically ended it for the night. Fast forward about a week at approximately the same time of day. I was home, and I was thinking deeply about that shadow person incident. I was remembering how the one at the end leaned forward to look out the window at us, and I wondered how well we could even have been seen. And because that window was old and shitty and the double pane glass is really cloudy. And here. Anyways, I walked through the kitchen and towards the sink, and I leaned forward at the waist to have a look through that window. I then realized I had to bend a little to my right to look through one clear patch in the window in order to have a line of sight to the hot tub. Damn. So in other words, he had to do the exact same movement he saw that shadow person do to get to the one.
Top Lobster
So it, like, made sense. Yeah, the shadow person, because the whole.
David Lee Corbo
Thing was cloudy, and there was only one spot that you could really see through that you had a direct line of sight because it's a cloudy, shitty double pane window.
Top Lobster
So the movement that he did heavy.
David Lee Corbo
Is exactly what this thing would have.
Top Lobster
Had to have done. Story, like, makes sense.
David Lee Corbo
That's. I mean, yeah, it's a subtle but creepy element we're gonna have to hear.
Matt Hepner
For, like, the next couple of days. Like, my spirit's just been hit.
David Lee Corbo
I know, dude. I'm looking forward to him weeping on the phone calls and.
Matt Hepner
Yeah, you made me read the story about the Canadian guy.
David Lee Corbo
See, that's the thing is, like, what we didn't anticipate is having Matt be a part of the team would also come with occasional counseling sessions. Yeah, where we'd have to unburden his heavy stuff spirit and. And stop the weeping.
Matt Hepner
No, it's getting serious. I think he's going to tell you after the show.
David Lee Corbo
I think so. Yeah, but it's fine. There's not a lot left.
Top Lobster
No, at the end of the day, it's clear here. I'm not the one getting soft. Yeah, let's go. Let's play that game. Boy. That.
David Lee Corbo
I don't like that you a. I.
Top Lobster
Think we know who's soft in here.
David Lee Corbo
All right. Anyways, so that's what he did. He had to bend over to do the same thing that the shadow person did. Then I was like, holy shit. When I realized it, without meaning to, I exactly mimic the shadow person's movements with the same posture, same lean, same everything. Or fucking did I? That's what he says. What meaning is that? What anyone, including a shadow person, would have to do in order to look at us in the hot tub. Or was the shadow person that my daughter and I saw that. He's gonna like this. This one future me.
Top Lobster
Oh, he's a time traveler. It's him in his house looking in at another time period. That shadow person's actually just him.
David Lee Corbo
That's crazy.
Top Lobster
In the future.
David Lee Corbo
He says, did I?
Top Lobster
You can't see yourself in the future clearly. You only see your shadow in the future.
Matt Hepner
Oh, that's like stone tape.
David Lee Corbo
I like that. I like that a lot.
Top Lobster
I like this guy.
David Lee Corbo
He says, did I did. Focusing so hard. Hot tub moment. Sync me up with past us and project my sweet, sweet shadow essence backwards in time. Yes, I like that.
Matt Hepner
Oh, running water.
David Lee Corbo
Oh, over the sink. And they're in the hot tub. So there's water on both ends of the time flux wormhole. Einstein, Rosenberg Bridge.
Matt Hepner
Very cool.
Top Lobster
Obviously. What happened? Dude, this is a time travel story. This is not a shit shadow, people.
David Lee Corbo
He says, I have tried to intentionally astral project in my life with zero results.
Top Lobster
Can't do it on purpose.
David Lee Corbo
Wouldn't recommend. Well, you could definitely do it on purpose, but wouldn't recommend. But now you two have made me think twice in case my body gets hijacked while I'm away. That's right.
Matt Hepner
We do good stuff on this.
David Lee Corbo
Thanks for ruining it, butt heads. I'm sorry we saved your life. Astro butthole sound weird. Anyways. What the. Thanks for reading, Colin. That was a good story, Colin. That's an interesting thought.
Top Lobster
I mean, I thought he literally said, don't dox him.
David Lee Corbo
No, it's already. I already said it at the top of the. I didn't say his full name, so he's not docs. Technically. You don't really know what docs Johnson, but I like that.
Top Lobster
Oh, my God.
David Lee Corbo
No, no, no, no, no, no. That's not his last name. That's not his last name. But I like that he has boiled it down to two, because I would have just stuck with. With the.
Matt Hepner
Whoa.
David Lee Corbo
Whatever was looking at us must have actually been there because it had to do this thing in order to see through that little foggy spot on the double pane window that's all crusty.
Top Lobster
Yeah, it had to because it was him.
David Lee Corbo
Well, I like that he went there. I wouldn't have necessarily gone there, been like. But was that future me who was so locked into the moment that I.
Top Lobster
It's wild that he even went to the window and did it and then realized like, yeah, it made sense. Whatever this thing was, it made sense. Now why it did that?
David Lee Corbo
It remind the confirmation of it. It seems like a really real story because the confirmation is the same, the same energy as Faceless's story where his boy is confirming everything and they're bouncing back and forth like ping pong because they didn't have a time, they didn't have a chance. So really quick. The brief, you know, overview of that is just face.
Matt Hepner
Don't tell the story again.
David Lee Corbo
I know, very spirit heavy. We'll be really brief with it. But Faceless, a buddy of hours, gets chased out of a tunnel by a thing with him and his friend.
Top Lobster
It's called a rake.
David Lee Corbo
And when they see it, they immediately take off running and of course don't have time to confirm with each other until they're safe. Once they're finally safe and they start unpacking the story, they start finishing each other's sentences. And it confirms in some real way that they saw exactly what they thought they saw because they didn't have time to talk about it. And then once they did, it was like detail for detail, like. Like a game of ping pong. Verbal ping pong. This feels very similar. Like that moment of confirmation, it almost makes your hair stand up on edge. You know what I mean? I imagine that's what happened to Colin Johnson here when he leaned over his. His thing and realized, like, this is the exact position. Probably full body pilo erection. Now that means your hair stands on.
Top Lobster
Oh, you just made it weird, bro. You just made it like he.
David Lee Corbo
Yeah, I did.
Matt Hepner
There's something to do with like a quantum entanglement with his daughter and the.
David Lee Corbo
Water that's running yeah, it's interesting that there was water on both ends of that phenomenon. Water that they're sitting in, in the hot tub and then water that he's leaning over at the sink. Very interesting.
Matt Hepner
Very interesting.
David Lee Corbo
I don't know, man.
Top Lobster
And the daughter, like, finishing off his sentences. That was just the beginning of the story. But he was just making the point that they're super tight and close so.
David Lee Corbo
That it's not totally strange that she saw. Saw it and he saw it at the same time. Because this kind of phenomenon that you might, I don't know, categorize as psychic happens quite a bit with them.
Matt Hepner
So very, very strange because this puts the supernatural in a spot where it's not just like, you know, there were gay ghosts in our house and we had a gay guy expel them. This is like the supernatural, like the accidental supernatural that you probably can do if you have the building blocks or understand the building blocks of the world. Like at a certain time. Time at a certain place with certain temperature, water at a certain speed. Running.
David Lee Corbo
Running.
Matt Hepner
Yeah, you can replicate something.
David Lee Corbo
I. You know what I love about it, though, is that he. He didn't tell us the entire layout of his house. He just told us what the window and the sink were like. Yeah, just the window in the sink in the hot tub. And you didn't. He didn't say where the hot tub was positioned. He just said you could only see it from this little spot in the window.
Top Lobster
He gave us just enough. Just enough information could track with the story. That was like an impressive way to do it.
David Lee Corbo
Colin. John, big, big, big points for you.
Matt Hepner
Thank you for the story.
David Lee Corbo
And your last name's not. Not Johnson, so I didn't dox him, but I like. I like to think that it is and that we did. That was good.
Matt Hepner
That was good. That was a good way. I think it's a good way to leave it.
David Lee Corbo
I think it's a good way to leave it was a good story.
Matt Hepner
What do you think, boss? It's good. We can end it. I mean, I'm not gonna. We can. We can end the show.
Top Lobster
Oh, you're gonna.
Matt Hepner
Is it.
David Lee Corbo
Are we allowed to. Actually, it's your call. Whatever you want to do.
Matt Hepner
Well, we could say bye to the people at least.
Top Lobster
What would we say? Like, as far as buy, like any kind of, like, nice salutation or let's say, make it meaningful. Just blah, blah, blah.
David Lee Corbo
Just blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah.
Date: January 16, 2026
Hosts: TopLobsta (Top Lobster), Raven (David Lee Corbo), Matt Hepner
This episode of Nephilim Death Squad chronicles the hosts' trademark blend of irreverent banter, conspiracy analysis, and the reading of listener-submitted paranormal testimonies, all viewed through a (often tongue-in-cheek) biblical lens. The main focus is on haunted house stories, shadow people, and the spiritual consequences of dabbling in New Age or occult objects, as well as lively debates about cursing, house layouts, race, and Christian denominational squabbles—punctuated by frequent asides, jokes, and audience interaction.
Hosts introduce themselves (01:54) with playful trash-talk and Christian in-jokes.
They reflect on the show's tone: balancing authentic Christian content with humor and edge, sometimes getting feedback (from both listeners and family) about swearing.
Memorable Quote:
They promote submitting paranormal testimonies with the caveat: "We're going to make fun of you. It'll feel bad, but it'll feel great for us." (03:26)
Holly writes about her spiritual journey: being a self-described "hippie," into crystals, astrology, and meditation, and having a series of unsettling haunted house events.
Lady Holly describes her son talking to “children in the walls,” sleeping under the bed, and having imaginary friends ("Sid lived in his closet").
Shadow and spirit sightings, sleep paralysis, and abduction dreams add to the sense of unease. Holly links these experiences to her own spiritual practices and later “cleans house,” removes occult items, and returns to Christian faith.
Notable exchange:
Holly’s story sparks a discussion on the biblical precedent of cursed objects (the “Babylonian garment”) and the real danger of inviting demonic activity through new-age paraphernalia.
The hosts riff on “being comfy but not cozy,” and the difference between living in comfort versus complacency (04:31).
A listener describes increasingly severe paranormal activity after moving into a home where the previous (deceased) owners had not been disclosed. Ghostly phenomena escalate: cabinets open on their own, appliances malfunction, voices are heard, and the family bird begins speaking in unfamiliar voices.
Efforts to cleanse the house include crosses, blessings, and even sage, but only after a dramatic confrontation—where her husband, enraged, yells profanities in his underwear on the landing for an hour—do things quiet down.
A Halloween party with gay friends (one an ex-priest candidate) culminates with a priestly blessing and exorcism, after which "no more ghosts."
Memorable moment:
“Either old white ghosts don’t like my husband yelling every profanity known to man, or they decided to cross over when two gay men came to bless their house. Both could be true." (97:19)
“Love you all. Getting a job at Home Depot so I can become a pay pig. Please keep Matt—I love that he is trying to keep you all in line.” (98:08)
The segment showcases the show’s willingness to embrace outlandish, even contradictory material, providing space for comedy alongside semi-serious spiritual commentary.
Listener Colin submits a “shadow person” account: from his hot tub, he and his daughter witness a shadow figure moving around their kitchen, eventually bending over in such a way as to peer directly at them.
Days later, he finds himself unconsciously mimicking this exact movement, realizing the only way to see out the window is to bend in that particular way.
He offers a twist: was the shadow person he saw actually himself from the future, looking back?
Notable Quote:
The hosts latch onto the “accidental time loop,” and muse about psychic links, water as a conduit, and the thin line between telepathy and supernatural experience (114:32).
On show culture and Christian comedy:
On paranormal banter:
On denominational debate fatigue:
| Time | Topic / Highlight | |----------|--------------------------------------------------------------------------| | 01:54 | Host Introductions, playful tone set | | 03:40 | Submitting stories & Patreon plugs | | 04:31 | “Comfy vs. cozy” comedic philosophy | | 16:11 | Holly’s haunted house, occult influences | | 23:13 | Discussion of biblical “cursed things” (Book of Joshua/Jericho) | | 84:39 | Ghosts, malfunctioning appliances, escalation of haunting | | 93:24 | Husband banishes ghost via “Sam Jackson” yelling | | 96:06 | Gay ex-priest friend blesses house, haunting ends | | 100:08 | Shadow person story: father/daughter telepathy, time loop hypothesis | | 110:41 | "Did I project my shadow essence backwards in time?" – Time-loop moment | | 114:32 | Psychic links, water, real/unreal, show reflection | | 66:09–75 | Tiredness with Christian denominational squabbles ("Little Season" talk) |
The episode is a quintessential blend of paranormal storytelling, biblical-themed irreverence, and self-aware meta-comedy—a space where haunted house tales segue into arguments about spiritual hygiene, Christian denominations, and hot tub time loops. The hosts maintain a chaotic, close-knit rapport, regularly referencing inside jokes, patreon supporters, and fans in the chat (“stop reading the chat!”), creating an atmosphere that’s as much group therapy as podcast.
Those looking for straight-laced analysis or earnest testimony will find it tangled in boisterous, often R-rated banter—but for fans of mix-it-all-up podcasting, NDS continues to deliver haunting tales and humor, peppered with the occasional spiritual insight and just enough self-deprecation to keep it relatable.
End of Summary