Wigger | NDS Chronicles w/ Matt Hepner

Summary

---

Nephilim Death Squad

Episode: "Wigger | NDS Chronicles w/ Matt Hepner"
Date: October 29, 2025
Hosts: TopLobsta & The Raven
Guest: Matt Hepner

---

Episode Overview

This episode of Nephilim Death Squad’s NDS Chronicles marks the return of the series, with TopLobsta (Dave), The Raven (David Lee Corbo), and guest Matt Hepner fielding listener-submitted tales of the paranormal, supernatural, and just plain weird. The crew reads and riffs on submissions—ranging from vivid childhood apparitions to crackhead graveyard showdowns—and frequently digresses into irreverent banter about religion, demographics, and spiritual warfare. All this occurs within the show’s signature style: biblical weirdness crossed with conspiracy, delivered with gallows humor and a lived-in sense of outsider camaraderie.

---

Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Return to NDS Chronicles and How to Submit Stories

Timestamp: 01:38-03:16

• The hosts announce the return of the Chronicles, inviting listeners to submit supernatural testimonies to be read aloud for the show. Submissions should be sent to "[e-mail]".

2. Listener Story: Sarah’s Fear Not Apparition

Timestamp: 07:18-17:18

• Summary: Sarah, a 65-year-old listener, shares her childhood experience of seeing a masculine, robed apparition that telepathically communicated “fear not”, and how this simple but profound moment has impacted her entire life, particularly during times of fear and isolation, such as the pandemic lockdowns.
• Panel Commentary: The crew injects humor and skepticism about the letter’s details (e.g., mirrored wardrobe doors, growing up in a physically/emotionally abusive household, synesthesia of church/501c3 churches as “fake”), but ultimately highlight the sincerity and poetic, if sometimes eccentric, nature of the testimony.

"This is like a woman who wanted an aspiring author just never pulled the trigger." – TopLobsta (16:41)

Notable Quotes:

• "It became masculine, no doubt. At the point of becoming defined, robed, it said, without speaking, fear not. And then faded, dissipated as quickly, yet unhurried as it arose. I was frozen in awe." – Matt reading Sarah’s submission (15:34)

• "Such a steady rise and then decline. In and out of focus. Like millions of light points converging into form and then abating." – Sarah via Matt (16:21)

• Discussion: The hosts and Matt debate the biblical concept of guardian angels, supernatural encounters, and how people frame Old vs. New Testament conceptions of God. They muse on whether visiting presences could be Christ, St. Michael, or simply a benevolent apparition.

Notable Quotes:

• “What do you think about, like, guardian angels and such?” – TopLobsta (21:55)
• “I think that’s in the scripture. Jesus talks about the children and their angels…” – Matt (21:57)

---

3. Shifting Demographics of the NDS Audience

Timestamp: 23:01-23:36

• Matt jokes about the now-older median age of listeners, which is confirmed by multiple chat users self-reporting their ages and long-term affiliations.
• “Matt’s helped us really spike the median age… It’s gone up about 20 years.” – The Raven (23:15)

---

4. Listener Story: Jake and the Graveyard Incident

Timestamp: 30:03-64:02

Part I: The Crackhead Motorcycle Incident

• Jake describes living across from a graveyard in a roach-filled Northern California apartment during the “bath salts” panic era. After his girlfriend’s car is broken into, Jake’s motorcycle is kicked over by a deranged woman, leading to a drawn-out chase and eventual police involvement.
• The hosts debate appropriate violent responses—grudges, curb-stomping, “push-kicking,” and drawing moral lines—with humor. They touch on the practicalities and moral ambiguities of neighborly intervention and self-defense.
• "Curb stomping is like what he’s thinking." – Matt (39:51)
• “What about a Leonidas… can you give her a stiff boot to the chest?” – TopLobsta (40:02)

Part II: The Graveyard Rescue

• Weeks later, Jake hears a woman’s screams coming from the graveyard at night. Clad only in basketball shorts, he and a South African exchange student rush to the scene. They confront a knife-wielding man in the foggy boneyard, then encounter the supposed damsel in distress—who unceremoniously rebuffs their help.
• The group uses this story to riff on the archetype of the “wigger” (white kids adopting Black cultural markers), the absurdities of real-life heroics, and the perils of getting involved in other people’s chaos.

Notable Quotes:

• "I shit you not. This pill popping lady sticks her thumb out and tries to hitch a ride from us." – Matt reading Jake’s story (45:42)
• “After that, I told myself I’d never risk my life for some stranger ever again. Hell yeah, Jake, very smart. That little ruined it for some truly in need. But as it turns out, I’m still not that jaded. You’re dumb.” – The Raven (69:33)
• “It’s just two dramatic trailer trash folks were having a fight in a graveyard.” – Matt, on the anticlimax (70:39)
• “[Wiggers]: California white. I’m that type of white.” – Matt (62:07)

---

5. Listener Story: Jason’s Schizo/NDS Testimony

Timestamp: 72:05-89:14

• Summary: Jason, a Standard Coffee Shop regular, shares a tale of personal spiritual transformation. Estranged from his affluent roots and mired in vice, he has an emotional breakdown at age 33, smokes weed for the first time at a July 4th party, and witnesses a glowing, feminine presence he identifies as an angel. This catalyzes a years-long trajectory of self-discipline, Nazirite vows (e.g., no haircut, no alcohol), and ultimately, the discovery of Nephilim Death Squad in his “time of JASON”—a play on July, August, September, October, November as months spelling out his name.
• The crew is impressed by the poetic tone and maturity, marveling at Jason’s conceptualization of redemption times (“the time of Jason”) and the biblical allusions he brings to bear.

Notable Quotes:

• "Not because I'm scared of hell when I die, but because of the hell I live in when I stray." – Matt, reading Jason’s testimony (86:54)
• “A Nadzarite vow was a voluntary, temporary, or lifelong separation to God involving abstaining from wine, all products of the vine, never cutting one's hair, and avoiding all contact with dead bodies.” – The Raven (87:17)
• “Glad I found you… This is the gayest sentence I’ve wrote about three dudes, but truth.” – Jason, as read by TopLobsta (103:01)

---

6. Deep Dive: Telepathy, Autism, Demonic Technology, and Biblical Conspiracies

Timestamp: 91:21–97:13

• The hosts discuss the “Telepathy Tapes” project, which claims nonverbal autistic children are communicating telepathically. They argue that this is linked to a long-running project (dating back to MK Ultra and the work of Andrija Puharich), involving the use of heavy metals to induce disassociation and create psychic hardwiring. The show posits that this is a “Tower of Babel,” New Age deception that strips children of their ability to interact with the physical world while opening them to spiritual manipulation.
• They critique the mainstream framing as “neurodivergence as evolutionary leap” and insist the original spiritual tradition warns about such occult technologies.

Notable Quotes:

• “[Telepathy Tapes] is not human development. This is like a step backward.” – TopLobsta (93:20)
• “When God, like in the Book of Genesis, the very beginning, God is speaking the Word into the world, into existence. It’s his words. And it’s like vibrating, creating.” – The Raven (95:34)
• “All spiritual experiences are not from God.” – Matt (96:48)

---

7. Community, Coffee Shop Vibes, and Bible Reading

Timestamp: 104:03–106:55

• As the show winds down, the crew invites listeners to visit the Standard coffee shop for face-to-face fellowship and Bible study. They share anecdotes about fans visiting, the unique personalities of their local diehards, and the strange but genuine community emerging around the podcast.

Notable Quotes:

• “A lot of times people are lonely, bro, because they play games on phones and screens and they don’t really have human interactions.” – Matt (105:39)
• “Some people don’t want that. They don’t want to be bothered.” – TopLobsta (105:16)

---

Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• On Age and Audience:

  • “Matt’s helped us really spike the median age… It’s gone up about 20 years.” – The Raven (23:15)

• On Apparitions and Angels:

  • "At the point of becoming defined, robed, it said, without speaking, fear not." – Sarah’s letter via Matt (15:34)
  • “Do you think that dude was an angel?” – The Raven, re: Jake’s graveyard buddy (68:54)

• On Street-Level Spiritual Warfare:

  • "You know, curb stomping is too far, but if you catch her, can you give her a stiff boot to the chest?" – TopLobsta (40:02)
  • “Don’t look at him from Livermore. You know what it is? We’ll take Matt to New York City…” – TopLobsta, on regional differences in helping strangers (98:08)

• Community Vibe:

  • “Glad I found you… This is the gayest sentence I’ve wrote about three dudes, but truth.” – Jason (103:01)

---

Timestamps for Important Segments

• [01:38] – Show returns, listener submissions explained
• [07:18] – Sarah’s “Fear Not” apparition story
• [16:21] – Detailed description of apparition
• [21:55] – Guardian angels in scripture
• [30:03] – Jake’s graveyard/motorcycle saga begins
• [39:51] – Debating curb-stomps and street justice
• [62:07] – “California white. I’m that type of white.” Wigger discourse
• [72:05] – Jason’s spiritual journey and “time of JASON” testimony
• [86:54] – “Not because I’m scared of hell when I die, but the hell I live in when I stray.”
• [91:21–97:13] – Deep dive: Telepathy Tapes, autism, esoteric technology
• [104:03] – Shoutout to the Standard coffee shop and community invites

---

Tone and Language

The episode is:

• Irreverent: The hosts mix humor (often dark and self-deprecating) with genuine curiosity about the mystical, biblical, and conspiratorial.
• Personal: The show often reflects on listeners’ lives, the hosts’ own backgrounds, and the spiritual/communal impact of the Nephilim Death Squad project.
• Camaraderie-driven: Friendly roasting, inside jokes, and regional banter foster a sense of in-group identity among the listeners.
• Biblically curious: While not conventionally pious, all stories and debates are filtered through an idiosyncratic but sincere biblical lens.

---

Recap for New Listeners

This episode gives you both the flavor and substance of the NDS Chronicles—paranormal stories, spicy commentary, spiritual skepticism, and a unique mix of conspiracy and cross-generational weirdness. If you want to witness the intersection of modern spiritual seeking, conspiracy lore, and an unfiltered search for meaning (with a healthy side of roasted old people and crackhead exegesis), this is the pod for you.

---

End of summary.

Transcript

[Narrator/Advertiser]

Do you know what happens when you replace your regular old electric water heater with a new electric heat pump water heater? You boost your savings a lot. In fact, Energy Star estimates that a family of four will save an average of $550 a year on their electric energy bills. And your new heat pump water heater can pay for itself in as little as three years. Level up with a heat pump water heater. Go to levelupmywaterheater.com to learn more and talking productions.

[Top Lobster]

I didn't like that. That's our new intro music, only for this episode. And I swear to you, it's gonna change really soon because we're getting custom intro music made.

[The Raven]

Oh, crack. Amico asked if.

[Top Lobster]

Well, it's too late because Elainey already made this awesome thing anyway. Well, I am David Lee Corbo, AKA the Raven. This is Dave.

[The Raven]

You got a lot of. You got a lot of requests.

[Top Lobster]

Top Lobster, the Father.

[The Raven]

I don't like. I don't like this intro music. I don't like this. I don't like that. And then as he sits there and.

[Top Lobster]

He paints his nails, bitching and moaning.

[The Raven]

That'S been watching Patreon.

[Top Lobster]

Patreon.com forward/nepilim Death Squad. That's where we're gonna go live around the half an hour mark. Matt's joining us, by the way. I know we could see, so I should address it. He's going to join us for this Chronicles episode. If you want to support us, if you want to continue watching the show, engaging in the live chat, early access to episodes ad free viewing and listening experiences, free first dibs on tickets from Bohemian Grove. We're looking tentatively at the first week of March as well as discount codes off of merchandise from top lobster.com. what are you wearing? Matt's wearing a Fear not shirt. Look at Matt. Make him full screen.

[The Raven]

Yeah, we'll do this.

[Top Lobster]

Yeah, let's look at Matt. Show us your shirt. Matt, how do you feel about that shirt? You get a lot of compliments on it.

[Matt]

I do, actually.

[Top Lobster]

Yeah.

[The Raven]

I don't think anybody says anything.

[Top Lobster]

No, I think people really like that shirt.

[Matt]

A lot of times people are like, yo, is that Ezekiel? I'm like, dude, he's there. He's watching the wheel within the wheel.

[Top Lobster]

All right. I feel like he's lying now. Now I feel like he started. Yeah. Damn, you had me there. You had me in the first quarter. Discount codes off of merchandise and top lobster dot com. Guys, it's been a long time since we did a Chronicles episode, so we're back into it. If you want to submit your supernatural testimony so that we can read it.

[The Raven]

Any pass works for blue letter Bible.

[Top Lobster]

Oh my God. That's a banger.

[The Raven]

Is there like a blue letter Quran?

[Top Lobster]

Probably. They don't have that blue letter Talmud. I mean, there's an opening, guys. So. So, so. Oh. If you want to submit your paranormal testimony, you can submit [e-mail]. that is chroniclesnds Gmail.com and we will read your life changing, harrowing experience.

[The Raven]

Like, against. Like, what if we did translate the Quran? Like, that's not. I. I don't know. What was it originally written in? I don't know the Quran.

[Top Lobster]

I don't know Quranis.

[Matt]

I don't know.

[The Raven]

I don't know, dog.

[Matt]

That time period, what was it like 700 A.D. was when the dude Muhammad was on the scene. Who knows, bro?

[Top Lobster]

Somebody said, wait, Vinny Paz is black? No, he just went to prison. And you know how that goes. You come out, you're Muslim. That's literally like the pipeline. It goes prison to Muslim.

[Matt]

That happened to Q Tip from Tribe Called Quest. I remember when I was a kid.

[Top Lobster]

I was like, bro, what literally happened to all of my relatives?

[The Raven]

So.

[Top Lobster]

So we're gonna get into it. It's not even a joke. It's just funny. We're gonna get into this story. Like I said, guys, chronicles, the blue letters of Moroni.

[The Raven]

I'm sorry. This is great.

[Top Lobster]

Unbelievable. Unbelievable. Shout out to John. It's been a while. It's been a while.

[The Raven]

As always, guys, Nancy will read your chats out loud.

[Matt]

Where is Nancy?

[Top Lobster]

Well, she's here in spirit.

[The Raven]

We'll see.

[Top Lobster]

Nancy is omnipresent and that's because she's astral projecting right now. And we tell her to stop. We say, Nancy.

[The Raven]

We got her phone number and I texted her, but she said, don't disturb me when I'm in the astral.

[Top Lobster]

That's what she said. She actually said that before you sent the text. Because she's watching you. She's not like in the ashes.

[The Raven]

Not like that. Did you. Did you tell her your blood type?

[Matt]

She's a dear friend of mine.

[Top Lobster]

Ginny says, I think Vinny passes from Sicily. Yeah, he is Sicilian, but he went to prison and came out like. That's not even a joke. That is a real thing. Oh, so many people go to prison.

[The Raven]

He's Italian.

[Matt]

Yeah.

[The Raven]

So that's like black.

[Top Lobster]

This is, well, Sicilian specifically. Yeah, that is like black.

[The Raven]

David, what are we reading?

[Top Lobster]

We're gonna read today. We're gonna read. Let's go to Sarah. Fear Not Apparition.

[The Raven]

Did you know that I wrote a children's book?

[Top Lobster]

You never wrote it.

[The Raven]

It's written.

[Top Lobster]

I think you conceptualized it.

[The Raven]

No, it's. It's written. We got it. It rhymes, but whatever. Okay.

[Matt]

Conspiracy theories for kids.

[Top Lobster]

No, it's literally. That's not true. Well, yeah, it's kids. It's telling the spooky things to go away in the name of Jesus, that they can sleep. It's a bedtime story.

[The Raven]

Yeah, well, it's about Cryptids, but Jesus, like. Like beating them up. Okay.

[Top Lobster]

You know? Yeah.

[The Raven]

You got to lean into the mic like that.

[Top Lobster]

One of the things that the chat really says constantly, they're like, mike etiquette. Mike etiquette. You know, Matt is great, but if he would just lean into the microphone.

[The Raven]

He's all over it.

[Top Lobster]

Yes. He's like. Like, he's got like. No, it's.

[Matt]

I get nervy because there's, like, lights and cameras and mics.

[Top Lobster]

Yeah, baby.

[Matt]

It just feels unnatural. And then show business. My way into it.

[Top Lobster]

By the way, I don't know if we can. If we can go to. I just want to shout out to Jason because we didn't know who gave us this awesome alligator. Crocodile. I'm sorry. Crocodile head. It's a gator.

[Matt]

It's an alligator. Yeah.

[Top Lobster]

Wrong dude. Well, shout out to Jason. He's the man. He got it for us because he knew that I haven't seen very many.

[The Raven]

If you see Jason, tell him we need a second because we're running our wires through its mouth.

[Top Lobster]

Yeah. It actually has become an integral part of the set. Well, now it's an easy way to.

[Matt]

Know the difference between a gator and a crocodile.

[Top Lobster]

I don't care. So let's.

[Matt]

One you'll see later and one you'll see after a while, bro.

[Top Lobster]

Damn, that was a banger. I need a banger.

[The Raven]

I need the thing. We don't have the thing here.

[Top Lobster]

That was a good job, Matt.

[The Raven]

We need a button.

[Top Lobster]

All right, don't get too.

[Matt]

I don't even understand what this show is.

[Top Lobster]

I'm going to read. I'm reading a story right now. And whose story was this? Shout out to Sarah.

[The Raven]

This is the bad show. No, the one you're on.

[Matt]

No.

[Top Lobster]

And after America is the bad show. Okay, well, hey, my wife's in the chat. She's laughing. Shout out to my wife. Okay. All right. My wife.

[The Raven]

Wait, we're reading Sarah?

[Top Lobster]

Yeah, we're Sarah.

[The Raven]

Can you send it to Matt? I'll send it to him.

[Top Lobster]

All right, fine. Do that. Okay, I'm going to start it up. I am 65 with two. Whoa. First off, that's very old. Actually, there's a lot.

[The Raven]

She's. She's doing a Bible study in the back right now.

[Top Lobster]

So I'm 65 with two glorious. Whoa. I'm just.

[The Raven]

Every time you say this, it's jarring. Like, wow.

[Top Lobster]

And six exceptional grandkids. God bless you. That's awesome. I honestly don't remember exactly what I'm writing about.

[The Raven]

Check your. You check.

[Top Lobster]

Check your thing.

[The Raven]

You can read along if you'd like. So she goes, matt loves to read.

[Top Lobster]

He does love to read. He's a big reader.

[The Raven]

Okay. I don't even see it in. Oh, Sarah. Fear not apparition.

[Top Lobster]

This is nice. I honestly don't remember exactly when this happened, but I was around 8 or 9. So in the late 60s. Okay, okay, I admit I was rather a rather quirky kid. Part of a new MGM program. What's that? And my parents were emotionally and physically abusive towards me.

[The Raven]

Oh, man.

[Top Lobster]

Fulfilling the black sheep role. Damn, dude. Okay, interesting. MGM is Mentally Gifted Minds, Orange County, California. So this is like a Gates program.

[The Raven]

What part of California are you from?

[Top Lobster]

Oh, dude.

[Matt]

Yeah, you're 65. Like, who wasn't emotionally and physically obese?

[Top Lobster]

No, but who was part of the Gates program in the 60s?

[Matt]

I don't know any of that.

[The Raven]

You know anybody from Orange County?

[Matt]

Yeah, my uncle used to live there in Anaheim.

[Top Lobster]

Shout out to people. People that live close to where Matt used to live.

[The Raven]

Shout out. He knows. I can't believe it. Like, the disrespect toad comes on and he goes. He goes, you're from Boston? You know about this school? You know about that school?

[Top Lobster]

Like, yeah.

[Matt]

Is that disrespectful? I'm just excited to know stuff.

[Top Lobster]

Well, no, you're straight Bible and then secondary. You're straight. Geography. He loves geography. I was coerced to attend a church with my mom, even though my dad. Even though my dad. Oh, boy. With my mom and even though my dad.

[The Raven]

Oh, my God.

[Top Lobster]

No, it's just. That's what it says. And shortly thereafter, my two older brothers quit participating. Okay, I understand the structure of that sentence now.

[Matt]

Don't blame those guys.

[Top Lobster]

And it all seems so fake and phony to me. It was a 501C3. Yeah. Okay. Matt is really vibing with this California 501C3. No, but that's what she's alluding to. She just said it felt Fake.

[The Raven]

And I'm gonna bleep out every time. Like, I'm gonna bleep out the word 501C3 on this show.

[Top Lobster]

So people just think we're saying.

[The Raven]

Well, because, you know, it's horrifying. It's a big part of my religion now.

[Matt]

And.

[The Raven]

Oh, yeah, what I do, bro.

[Matt]

What?

[Top Lobster]

Yeah.

[The Raven]

No, and it's just. I just find it, like, disrespectful when people talk badly about it.

[Top Lobster]

Yeah. Well, Top is actually going to be helping with the. The. He's going to be part of the band now.

[The Raven]

Making the band.

[Top Lobster]

Making the band.

[The Raven]

Yeah.

[Top Lobster]

Dylon, Dylon, Dylon, Dylon and Dylon.

[Matt]

How long that's going to go, dude? We're gonna get good content from that, though.

[Top Lobster]

We'll get good content from it. So. Okay, let's see. I like the music. Nice. To this day, I become a speechless, blubbering mess when someone. Mess Some. Sometimes when I attend at Easter or Christmas with my son and there are always cookies afterwards. How ridiculous. I focused on the cookies. Yeah, I mean, I get it. I get it.

[Matt]

If anybody add up that's like. This is like.

[Top Lobster]

No, if you just.

[Matt]

Female version of the Raven.

[Top Lobster]

Oh, yeah. I mean, she's based. I quit going too, after my pastor couldn't explain to me how I could consider being more forgiving than such a vengeful God. Oh, geez. She's all caught up in it, huh? I was not impressed. Oh, I. Yeah, I was not impressed by my feelings of Rough.

[The Raven]

Dude. Yeah.

[Matt]

What is going on?

[Top Lobster]

She's from the. Yeah, it's me stuttering through things. But she's also from the 60s and I think they just have a different way of speaking. You know, it's like Old English. I was not impressed by my feelings of superiority and thought there had to be something better, something more. The Old Testament is dark. I didn't want anything to have to do with that God and she lowercase.

[Matt]

The Old Testament.

[Top Lobster]

Now, hold on. This isn't about you, Matt. Okay?

[The Raven]

I know you're arguing. You're gonna argue with someone who's not here right now. It's not gonna go well.

[Matt]

Just saying this concept that, like, the Old Testament God is different than the New Testament God. Like, oh, that's dark.

[Top Lobster]

Maybe it's just the way that the 501C3 system presents it.

[Matt]

Go read the book of Revelation. That's.

[The Raven]

That.

[Matt]

That's like less dark than whatever you read in the Old Testament.

[Top Lobster]

How about that, guys? Also, Nancy will read your super Chats. If you send super chats. I know we're not paying attention, but we're going to start paying attention right now. Nancy should be on it, I'm sure. Oh, I could see. There's been so many donations. So many donations. Okay, we're going to read those in a little bit. Thanks a lot, guys. Where were we?

[Matt]

You want me to read it?

[Top Lobster]

No. This apparition must have been some kind of saving grace. Why me? Now she's alluding to the apparition that she hasn't.

[The Raven]

Up.

[Top Lobster]

There you go. Ice coconut water and espresso says, notice me, senpai.

[The Raven]

He noticed. Thanks a lot.

[Top Lobster]

You know what senpai is? You're such a bottom dude. This apparition that she's alluding to in the story, she hasn't talked about it yet. Must have been some kind of saving grace. Why me? It's not common, is it? I honestly never thought that much about it afterwards until my adulthood and pending divorce.

[The Raven]

65, getting divorced. Not good.

[Top Lobster]

Yikes. Well, we don't know what age this happened at.

[The Raven]

Okay?

[Top Lobster]

My mom didn't believe me when I ran to her. I thought she'd be so excited. So it fell flat and dwelled within me for later. Okay. How grateful am I that it's always there? What is it? What's always there? Especially during the lockdowns, walking around without a mask against arrows and boasting a big, contagious smile. I'm. I'm kind of picking up, like, a little bit. It feels a little bit squirrely. Doesn't it feel a little squirrely?

[The Raven]

I don't know.

[Matt]

What's your first clue? Like, there's nothing normal in any of this letter.

[Top Lobster]

Well, this is our.

[Matt]

Is this somebody who's, like, a paid subscriber, too? It's gonna be offended. I don't know, say crazy stuff.

[Top Lobster]

I mean, you're an offensive individual, and.

[Matt]

Even I just don't understand what's going on, and.

[Top Lobster]

Guys, let that be a little indication to you. Matt only cares about not offending the paid subscribers. If she pays, she pays. I'll ease up. Okay, let's see. So. So my parents allowed a glass and mirror shop. Owned. I'm sorry? Owned a glass and mirror shop.

[The Raven]

God, David, this is getting rough.

[Top Lobster]

I'll read it. I. I always. I always bite my tongue. But listening to Top Reid is one of the great tortures that God is allowed to take place within this realm.

[The Raven]

I could say words. I could read words.

[Top Lobster]

All right. My parents owned a glass and mirror shop till Vietnamese Took over.

[The Raven]

No, no, no.

[Top Lobster]

It's rough, dude. We're going to pause this. No, it's Vietnamese.

[The Raven]

Wait, he's saying that I can't read.

[Top Lobster]

No, you can read great, man.

[The Raven]

I read. Oh, all right, all right, Go ahead, keep reading. David, this is because. I'm just trying.

[Top Lobster]

She hates the Vietnamese because they took over the area and also, I guess the shop. So I had mirrored wardrobe doors in my bedroom.

[Matt]

This is gonna get sketched.

[Top Lobster]

It is sketchy. Okay, go ahead. You want to read from. We didn't have ac.

[Matt]

We didn't have ac. I kept my window wide open and slept backwards on my bed, which centered on it so my feet stayed cool. Is this weird?

[The Raven]

Yeah, this whole thing is weird.

[Matt]

Yeah. Which part is not?

[Top Lobster]

I don't know, dude.

[Matt]

I currently have a fitted sheet and comforter across the core. But don't ever try to confine my feet or I'll behave like a cornered beast.

[The Raven]

Okay, first off, we should read. Kim, do you want to reread that? The email from the African governor, Do you remember that? No, no, no. We're not going to read so much.

[Top Lobster]

That was very fun, but you can't redo it. I mean, it's never going to hit the same.

[The Raven]

And I mean, for. For him it might.

[Top Lobster]

If God wants us to laugh, he'll give us something good.

[Matt]

I just don't understand where this is going.

[Top Lobster]

Go ahead and read. You gotta read it to find out.

[The Raven]

Yeah.

[Matt]

So I'm laying there, ready to sleep, and in the corner where window and mirrored closet doors, walls meet. That's what she wrote. That's what she wrote.

[The Raven]

Window and the mirror, closet, door.

[Matt]

Where window and mirrored closet doors, walls meet. On my right, an apparition begins to take form.

[Top Lobster]

Whoa, dude, that's crazy. Why are you making fun of that? No, no, is taking.

[The Raven]

Hold on a second. Because we have a non believer here. You don't think this stuff happens? You don't think people see this? That's the thing.

[Matt]

Percent I think it does. What? Well, you don't.

[Top Lobster]

You said you don't have supernatural stuff.

[Matt]

No, I just don't share it with everybody.

[Top Lobster]

You literally just a moment ago said, no, I don't have that. When I was telling you I have all kinds of stuff happen in my life. You're like, not me, dude. That's what you said.

[Matt]

Yeah, not on that level. And like the amount that you're talking about and how many times over so many years. I'm just saying I've seen some stuff, but I'm not like coming Out. Tell everybody everything.

[The Raven]

Anything.

[Matt]

No, I think you. What are you talking about?

[Top Lobster]

Elohim David. Three words into a story, Matt. What's even happening? I just want you to know, people see what you're doing. And I know what you're doing, too. All right, Please continue.

[Matt]

No, because I just try to track with the story. Like none of the story made sense.

[Top Lobster]

No, dude. An apparition. But now we're definite.

[The Raven]

Blanket. Obviously this pertains Well, I don't like.

[Top Lobster]

When things can fight my feet when I sleep. I don't understand.

[Matt]

It happened so quickly. It became masculine, no doubt.

[Top Lobster]

Oh, I wonder why there was no doubt.

[Matt]

At the point of becoming defined, robed, it said, without speaking, fear not. And then faded, dissipated as quickly, yet unhurried as it arose. I was frozen in awe.

[Narrator/Advertiser]

Do you know what happens when you replace your regular old electric water heater with a new electric heat pump water heater? You boost your savings a lot. In fact, Energy Star estimates that a family of four will save an average of $550 a year on their electric energy bills. And your new heat pump water heater can pay for itself in as little as three years. Level up with a heat pump water heater. Go to levelupmywaterheater.com to learn more.

[Matt]

An eyes wide little girl. I wasn't petrified or spooked, just amazed. Wow. What the heck. So elusive, so simple. Such a steady rise. Such a steady rise and then decline. In and out of focus. Like millions of light points converging into form and then abating.

[Top Lobster]

I mean, that's a cool way of describing it. I think she's. She's got a grasp of the English language that, like, I'm laughing at her, but I think I'm just retarded.

[The Raven]

I like how she's writing it. Like a. Like a wave. Like a swell question mark.

[Matt]

Yeah.

[Top Lobster]

This is like a woman who wanted an aspiring author just never pulled the trigger.

[Matt]

So she's now like one of those chicks in school that was trying to be like so deep and write poetry. But the poetry was kind of like not great poetry.

[The Raven]

I like how she's talking to us. Then she goes like this. That's it. Too simple. Almost anticlimactic. Smiley face. That's the. I just want to make a point here. Matt. Do you see the. The emoji, the usage of emoji right there?

[Top Lobster]

Yeah.

[Matt]

I mean, I wouldn't use that one. I would have used a sunglasses guy.

[Top Lobster]

Sunglasses guy. If you're ever in doubt, sunglasses guy is the emoji to use.

[The Raven]

Yeah, well, she's 65. I just want to let you.

[Matt]

You don't ever use emojis, you're saying.

[The Raven]

I mean, I do, but in the proper way anyway. Then she goes, fine.

[Top Lobster]

Fine.

[The Raven]

I like it. All right, keep going, man.

[Matt]

You want me to keep reading?

[Top Lobster]

No, yeah, keep reading.

[The Raven]

Dude.

[Matt]

I felt less like some freak after reading Mark Twain's Personal Recollections of Joan of Arc. I didn't lead armies, but I did acquire a third degree black belt and owned a dojang in Arizona for 12 years.

[The Raven]

Hold on.

[Top Lobster]

This is like, what are we owning? What? A black belt? And what. Because I see sometimes, and I'm not besmirching the down syndrome people, but I see very often that they will have black belts in whatever. Oh, you know what I'm saying? You've seen it, bro.

[Matt]

Whatever.

[Top Lobster]

Yeah, with a black belt.

[Matt]

No, this whole letter.

[The Raven]

You think she's down syndrome is what you're saying.

[Top Lobster]

I guess it was a bad take. Fine.

[Matt]

I'm not saying it, but I'm not not saying.

[Top Lobster]

Realize that everybody was so against me. That's fine.

[The Raven]

Oh, that's rough, dude.

[Top Lobster]

Okay.

[Matt]

If being part of a fighter community has anything to do with this. Yeah, don't know. Was it Jesus? I thought so at the time. Kind of more inclined to think it was St. Michael.

[Top Lobster]

It's interesting because St. Michael is the Archangel Michael. No.

[Matt]

Yeah, but he guards over Israel and she's in Anaheim. I'm not saying he couldn't show up. I just.

[The Raven]

I mean, he'd have to fight the Prince of Persia and whoever else.

[Matt]

Well, yeah, California. Well, the Prince of America, then. California, then.

[The Raven]

You think they're, like, not allowed to travel?

[Matt]

I think they have territories that they're. That's their territory. Yeah, they can travel when on the earth they take over more territory. Haven't we talked about that before? That those entities that worship, they have to take over more territory when they.

[Top Lobster]

Max out the worship.

[The Raven]

But they can't just visit. Oh, yeah.

[Top Lobster]

Like, what if they just wanted to stop?

[Matt]

They want to talk if they want to.

[Top Lobster]

Just to tell somebody, like, yo, if.

[Matt]

You'Re not make deals in the spirit realm. I don't know.

[The Raven]

All right.

[Matt]

I don't know.

[Top Lobster]

But I'm not just pick up milk and cigarettes.

[The Raven]

Well, that's what she says. She says, don't know.

[Matt]

We have some. Something in common.

[The Raven]

Was it Jesus Know either. I thought so at the time. Kind of more inclined to think it was St. Michael. I'm not getting on my knees or eating biscuits, but I die for the truth and well being of my progeny.

[Top Lobster]

What the is she doing?

[Matt]

A little weird, man.

[The Raven]

I have no clue. I mean, sometimes you'll get like this. This is a. This is a bizarre email. I kind of like it, but it makes me feel weird. My chapel is in the woods.

[Top Lobster]

Whoa.

[The Raven]

What's that mean?

[Matt]

No, I could get down with that. She's saying, like, at my spiritual place, like, where I'm close to God is in the woods.

[Top Lobster]

I got my weapons in the spirit land.

[Matt]

Yeah, if you're in a deer, that's a Kanye West.

[Top Lobster]

Kanye west song.

[Matt]

You're reading some Bible stuff in the woods and you're just chilling. I can get down with that.

[The Raven]

Thank you for your attention to this matter versus light. Still missing all the buds I found during COVID rituals because I was banned too much.

[Top Lobster]

Oh, so she made friends and then middle finger emoji.

[The Raven]

Your response made my day.

[Top Lobster]

Well. Well, I think she might mean this. And she was preemptively thanking us. And I think after she watches this, she's gonna be like, that was actually rude.

[The Raven]

Those guys were quite disrespectful. Especially that Matt fellow, scowling and such.

[Top Lobster]

Yeah, it's really the faces that you make where it's like, I know you're not disgusted, but you look disgusted.

[Matt]

No, I'm just trying to. Still missing all the buds I found.

[Top Lobster]

During COVID Yeah, like, she was in chats, making friends during COVID but then got kicked out because of the lockdown, like, kind of.

[Matt]

She was talking about, like, reefer. Like.

[Top Lobster]

But no, get your head.

[Matt]

No, I'm just.

[Top Lobster]

Dude, why are you thinking about this whole thing?

[Matt]

This whole thread is like 65 year old. Either reefer is what?

[Top Lobster]

You know, you think she's smoking.

[Matt]

I mean, something bizarre is happening. I don't know.

[Top Lobster]

Maybe.

[The Raven]

Yeah, I think. I mean, shot. Yeah, I think she's smoking. Old people smoke the most.

[Matt]

Sure.

[Top Lobster]

You think that's true?

[The Raven]

Yeah, 100%. Look at. Look at how many dispensaries are in the villages. Is all these guys are doing.

[Matt]

Tons.

[The Raven]

Smoking, blabbing, doing, you know, doing what they do.

[Top Lobster]

Well, thank you, Sarah. That was.

[Matt]

Wait, so nothing really happened with the apparition, though? It just showed up.

[Top Lobster]

It just showed up and was like, fear not.

[Matt]

And then that was it.

[The Raven]

Sometimes you get like. Like, that was that, you know, and that's how you know it's real. Yeah, real stuff.

[Top Lobster]

Like, she didn't embellish either. She wasn't like. And then it backflipped and then it blew A hole through my wall.

[Matt]

But she did say, how grateful am I that it's always there? Like, she's almost alluding to that. This presence kind of follows her around.

[Top Lobster]

What do you think about, like, guardian angels and such?

[Matt]

I think that's in the scripture. Jesus talks about the children and their angels. And then, you know, like in the Book of Acts where Peter gets out of prison and he runs to the house where they're having the prayer meeting for him, and he knocks on the door and, help me, Rhonda from the. Rhoda. Rhoda is her name. Rhoda answers the door and says, hey, Peter's at the door. And everybody inside the prayer meeting says, no, no, it's his angel.

[Top Lobster]

Huh.

[Matt]

That's an intriguing statement.

[The Raven]

Huh.

[Top Lobster]

Interesting.

[The Raven]

What do you think about a spirit person? Like, what is that?

[Matt]

It seems something like. I don't know. There's something interesting tied up in that.

[Top Lobster]

What about K2 Spice?

[The Raven]

Oh, we've never asked him about Spice.

[Matt]

I don't Even know what K2.

[Top Lobster]

I feel like you probably would have smoked it before.

[The Raven]

K2 is the stuff you get at the gas station.

[Top Lobster]

You remember that? It was like, legalized marijuana.

[Matt]

I was out of it by then.

[The Raven]

Dude.

[Top Lobster]

Dude, this was like 2006.

[Matt]

I was out by then.

[Top Lobster]

Were you really?

[Matt]

I mean, I was on oxycontin. What are you talking about? I wasn't on my gas station weed at 2006. I was like, whatever.

[Top Lobster]

Hey, yo, topping Raven.

[The Raven]

Hey, look at this. Somebody in the chat says, whatever, I just quit pot after 40 years. What's the average age listener of this show? I don't even know any goes.

[Top Lobster]

She's 72. That's so cool, dude. I love that.

[The Raven]

Yeah. Matt's help. He's helped us, like, with the local crowd, but he's also helped us really spike the. The median age difference. Like, it's. It's gone up about 20 years.

[Matt]

Yeah, that's what?

[Top Lobster]

Well, because of the local.

[The Raven]

I think so. Yeah. I don't know. I don't know what it is, but there's been a lot more olds, a lot of old.

[Matt]

Really?

[Top Lobster]

Which is good.

[The Raven]

Yeah.

[Matt]

I mean, the 55 and over is a little weird, bro.

[Top Lobster]

Yeah, but they're cool. I mean, that's literally like all of your clientele. But all right. Oh, Chuck's old as hell, right?

[Matt]

I think. Yeah, I think. 60s.

[Top Lobster]

60S. Shout out to Chuck, by the way.

[Matt]

No, he was a long time listener.

[Top Lobster]

That's awesome.

[Matt]

He was a long time.

[Top Lobster]

I love Chuck. Was.

[Matt]

He knew all this stuff. About. No. Saying it was a long. He's been.

[Top Lobster]

I know. You told me. Matt's been telling me a lot about you. And I love you, dude.

[Matt]

He told me a lot of stories about the Raven that I'm not sure how I feel about.

[Top Lobster]

Guys, mat learned about the Loops.

[The Raven]

He doesn't even know about how we met or how you got, like, how we got on the show together. Should we tell that story? Or is that. That might be too much.

[Top Lobster]

I think the amount of faces. I'm not ready for the amount of faces he would make it. I think we should tell him how you guys met.

[The Raven]

Maybe not on crime, not how we met.

[Top Lobster]

Jen is also old, and I love Gin. Gin is one of the early, early adopters of NDs. Huge supporter. She's. She's the best.

[The Raven]

We'll leave it up to the chat.

[Top Lobster]

Z man does.

[The Raven]

It's October. It is October. So it's been two years.

[Matt]

You guys met two years ago?

[The Raven]

No, I mean, like, he, like, convinced me to do a show. Two years.

[Top Lobster]

That was actually not. Look, let's read. Hey, Topping Raven.

[The Raven]

Hey, wait a second. But before we start, Jake. No, no, no, no.

[Top Lobster]

That's. That's Jason.

[The Raven]

Jason.

[Top Lobster]

Jason with the. And he said that he sent a story. We gotta.

[The Raven]

We're gonna get it.

[Top Lobster]

We gotta read it.

[The Raven]

But no, you don't want to tell him. I mean, Matt's just gonna sit here. Oh, I got a story. Jason. Yeah, I'm not gonna read his last.

[Top Lobster]

Maybe we should. Maybe we should read his next.

[The Raven]

Well, read his very long.

[Top Lobster]

Check it. Check it real quick. Do a little scroll.

[The Raven]

It's good enough. It's good.

[Top Lobster]

It's good enough. We got to read Jake's because we're here.

[The Raven]

All right, well, I guess we'll leave it up to Matt. And Matt doesn't want to know, but the chat seems to want you to explain it.

[Matt]

Explain what?

[The Raven]

You know, what he did. His things, his actions.

[Top Lobster]

I didn't do it alone. It didn't happen in a vacuum. What you drew.

[The Raven]

I was. Because I'm a man of my word.

[Top Lobster]

Yeah.

[The Raven]

Okay.

[Matt]

Okay.

[Top Lobster]

So you ever hear of a show called Tower Gang?

[Matt]

Oh, yeah. Familiar with it now?

[Top Lobster]

So Tower Gang had a competition that I may have inspired with my words from the chat. I was. I was a listener, a watcher of Tower Gang. It was a lot of fun to hang out on Wednesday nights at 9 11.

[Matt]

Wait, I already know some of this story. You would fill in and you'd kill it, bro.

[Top Lobster]

No, no. Yeah. Long before I filled in.

[Matt]

So you were Just a fan.

[Top Lobster]

Like, I was a fan. Well, because I knew top and I was already doing content with him and I knew he did this thing, and I was like, let me go check it out. And to be honest, it was a hang with the homies. It was a lot of fun to watch. I think we. We grew a little bit. You know, we've moved on. So at the time, this is a long, long, long, long, long, long time.

[The Raven]

I'm saying long, like in conjunction with this story. It's not that long.

[Top Lobster]

Okay, so it was fine.

[The Raven]

It was an average. It was an average time ago.

[Top Lobster]

Okay. All right. So they had a. I suggested from.

[Narrator/Advertiser]

The chat, do you know what happens when you replace your regular old electric water heater with a new electric heat pump water heater? You boost your savings a lot. In fact, energy star estimates that a family of four will save an average of $550 a year on their electric energy bills. And your new heat pump water heater can pay for itself in as little as three years. Level up with a heat pump water heater. Go to levelupmywaterheater.com to learn more because.

[Top Lobster]

Because this is the thing with tower gang. You'd want to be in the chat and you'd want to say something that the guys would see and pull up. They go, this is funny. Whatever, whatever. You know, so you're always trying to find a creative thing to say. And I said, you guys should do a contest where you have your listeners send in pictures of their dongs. Yeah.

[Matt]

Wait, what?

[Top Lobster]

Yeah, I told you.

[Matt]

The face guys are just like, no.

[The Raven]

No, it wasn't me.

[Top Lobster]

And I said that they should be sent to Toad specifically and that Toad would then have to judge them.

[Matt]

I don't want to know why you want to send a picture of that to Toad, bro.

[Top Lobster]

Well, you just don't get it.

[Matt]

No, I don't.

[Top Lobster]

Yeah. And that's your problem. So I don't want to get it. So. So. So, yeah. Yeah. The idea was that Toad was going to judge him, and then the name of the competition would be called, you know, it would be called cocktober because it's October.

[The Raven]

I mean, obviously it's a great catch.

[Top Lobster]

A good.

[The Raven]

That's a great name.

[Top Lobster]

I'm good at names. And death squad.

[The Raven]

The Raven.

[Matt]

That's a great name.

[The Raven]

What do we say? The gator.

[Top Lobster]

The gator. The gator is the Gator. Match the Gator.

[Matt]

Just a man.

[Top Lobster]

Just a man. Anyway. Anyway. Come on, can we gotta plow through this. It's gonna take forever.

[The Raven]

So well, hurry up.

[Top Lobster]

Okay? And then we're gonna get right back to this.

[The Raven]

Hurry up. It's not that long of a story.

[Top Lobster]

So what ends up happening is I decide to submit, and then I win the competition.

[Matt]

I don't want to know this story. I don't want to know that this story ever happened. I don't want to.

[Top Lobster]

And then. And then he had to draw it, and he. And he. No, no, no, no, no. Don't show him the picture. Don't not. That's not. It's a picture of. It's a picture of a drawing of a bird. Okay? And that's it.

[The Raven]

That's it.

[Matt]

That's how you guys. That's how you first got.

[Top Lobster]

No, that's not how you refer. I. Like I said, I already knew him, and I was already doing a show.

[Matt]

No, no, no. I ever heard was that when you would fill in, it was fire, bro. But then I was watching, and I was like, I don't know. Just the regulars, just straight.

[The Raven]

You sure you don't want to see this?

[Top Lobster]

No, no, no.

[Matt]

This is a good show.

[Top Lobster]

I have to do. I have to have hand control?

[The Raven]

She's right.

[Top Lobster]

We have to figure out something for.

[The Raven]

The shots, because your hands are in the hands of the shot.

[Matt]

Oh, that's cool, man.

[Top Lobster]

Okay. All right, let's go back to the story now. Let's go. Let's go back to the story. Can we go back?

[The Raven]

Are you.

[Top Lobster]

Are you embarrassed you made me tell it. I didn't want to tell it. I wanted to leave those days behind. And. And, And. And here we are.

[The Raven]

Well, I mean, he should know.

[Top Lobster]

I don't think he had it.

[Matt]

I'd rather not know, but you need to know. Okay. What's the next story?

[Top Lobster]

Can we read it? I would love to if he would just. There we go. Hey.

[The Raven]

Oh.

[Top Lobster]

Top and Raven. And now. And now Matt is where we go. Hello to Jake. And we can't read it now because now it's.

[The Raven]

Yeah, no, that's okay. We're going to do it. We're going to do it real nice. Go ahead, go ahead.

[Top Lobster]

Nicey nice. All right, now, he says you guys wanted more horror, so here it goes. I don't know if we ever recommend.

[The Raven]

I didn't ask.

[Top Lobster]

Requested horror. But wait, let's.

[The Raven]

Let's van for one more second.

[Top Lobster]

Good golly. We're going to keep vamping.

[The Raven]

Keep vamping. All right, Matt, you didn't like that story. I didn't like it either.

[Top Lobster]

I could tell how much he didn't like this story. This guy's like, I used to do oxycontins in a dumpster. And he's like, but you showed your homie your dong.

[The Raven]

Hey, yo, Top and Raven. You guys said you wanted more.

[Top Lobster]

That's literally the thing that we just read.

[The Raven]

So here we go.

[Top Lobster]

Part one. Damn. There's two parts? Yeah. Oh, good. I once lived in a shitty roach filled apartment in Northern California city, bro.

[Matt]

Why are people not listing the T.

[Top Lobster]

Terrible directly across the street from a graveyard?

[Matt]

Same as my uncle. Okay? My same uncle that lived in Anaheim lived on a graveyard in Livermore. Right across the street from. From a graveyard. Yeah.

[Top Lobster]

That's wild.

[Matt]

Okay, this could be Livermore, bro.

[Top Lobster]

So. And just so people understand, it doesn't matter how clean your apartment is, if your neighbor has roaches, you have roaches.

[Matt]

That's what everybody says.

[Top Lobster]

That is true. That is what you would say.

[The Raven]

If your neighbor has fleas, you have fleas.

[Top Lobster]

So one night my girlfriend's car got broken into.

[The Raven]

I had the nerve to come to.

[Top Lobster]

My house and blame because your dog has fleas?

[The Raven]

No, he does not go outside.

[Top Lobster]

How does my cats get fleas?

[The Raven]

You know. You know who else accused. Who is the accuser? I mean, like in history.

[Top Lobster]

Who else was the accuser?

[Matt]

Don't call him that.

[The Raven]

I'm not calling him that. I'm just saying.

[Top Lobster]

Okay, can we get through this?

[The Raven]

Look, the shoe fits.

[Top Lobster]

So one night my girlfriend's car gets broken into and we call the cops. The cops shrugged their shoulders. End of part one. Oh, wow. That was okay.

[The Raven]

Oh, this is great. This is great.

[Top Lobster]

We just guys crushing. We're not chugging anything. The next week I am on high alert. And every time there's a noise outside, I look out the window in hopes of catching someone playing stupid games. My motorcycle was parked right next to my girlfriend's car. I don't ever cover my bike because I ride it every day, rain or shine. That's dangerous.

[The Raven]

Hell yeah.

[Top Lobster]

In the rain.

[The Raven]

I like that.

[Matt]

Northern California rain is different, bro. It's like, you know, when it's coming, it's just different, you know when it's happening. It's not like Florida where just all of a sudden you're in a monst. Soon.

[The Raven]

Is it like less wet or something?

[Matt]

It's hard to explain.

[Top Lobster]

Chris Champagne says three family Indians on second floor equals. Everybody gets roaches and bedbugs. Damn, that sucks. Because he's been an exterminator for. For 10 years. It was formerly. Okay, so go up. Is this we're. No, no. What are we doing.

[The Raven]

We're way down.

[Top Lobster]

No, it's not even that long. So rain or shine, I, I, I ride the bike. I don't own a car at this time. My bike is, it's a black Harley style cruise motorcycle, but it's a Suzuki. Just for context. Is all happening in or around the time of bath salts.

[The Raven]

Okay.

[Top Lobster]

2012 to 2013. Matt, are you, you have any experience of bath salts?

[The Raven]

With bath salts?

[Matt]

No, I just remember people were eating people's face. I just remember like that was in Florida, right? I don't know. Just.

[Top Lobster]

I thought that was in California.

[The Raven]

No, no, that, that was a black dude in Florida and they, they lit him up and it didn't matter.

[Top Lobster]

Oh, he just kept going. Shout out to the K2 king. He's in the chat. He says, I'm here, baby.

[The Raven]

Yeah, K2, we. So the story with K2 has nothing to do with.

[Top Lobster]

No, but it's always good to know that he's with us and he's always with us.

[Matt]

Yeah, he's not on basalts.

[Top Lobster]

No, he's on K2.

[The Raven]

That's different. Okay, but the K2 thing, it's like gas station weed. A lot of like, big correlation between gas station weed and demonic encounters. Like falling out of your body.

[Matt]

I'm shocked to hear that.

[Top Lobster]

It's potpourri. You know, like potpourri you would put on the table. They started putting that in bags and selling it as an alternative to marijuana.

[Matt]

People were getting ripped on the potpourri.

[Top Lobster]

Yeah, I smoked it. It was weird.

[The Raven]

Well, the guy that was named after it was like jhw19 or something like that.

[Top Lobster]

Like, don't smoke this.

[The Raven]

Yeah, he was a scientist. He was like, they were trying to figure out how to manipulate the. What is it? Not the thc, but like the, like the cannabinoid receptors in your body in order to like accept whatever that.

[Top Lobster]

Yeah, it was like, we can't get your body to accept this. We've got to manipulate it by a couple of molecules.

[The Raven]

He said, like, like making this substance was the biggest mistake in my life because it destroyed so many people's lives.

[Matt]

And the gas station. We just wrecked people.

[The Raven]

Wrecked people.

[Top Lobster]

Demonic possession.

[Matt]

Crazy called K2. I think I remember that.

[The Raven]

The overlap of.

[Top Lobster]

Jim Bowman says K2 made me puke in my pants.

[The Raven]

Yeah, dude. The overlap of NDS listeners and K2 enjoyers is like one to one.

[Matt]

Yeah, that's a generational thing, dude. Like, people from my generation just smoke weed. It wasn't like.

[Top Lobster]

Well, no, there was, there was a reason and it was because, like, it came out as this way too, which is why.

[The Raven]

Legal weed.

[Top Lobster]

Yeah, it was to get off of.

[The Raven]

We needed a bigger TV. But Matt said 43 is good. And now I'm like, so then people.

[Matt]

Were just having crazy spirit realm Encounters off the K2.

[Top Lobster]

Yeah. To Kenny the Fed. He says, I took K2 in high school. Had a vision that I was in my own coffin at an open casket memorial. By the way, shout out to Kenny.

[Matt]

The fat smoke that stuff anymore.

[The Raven]

Oh, but they keep doing it, Kenny. Can't them Spice Boys at one point, but like one dude girl. My favorite story. What was a guy doing? He was like, standing at a counter or something. And then like, he said, like, my body dropped through my feet.

[Top Lobster]

His spirit fell out of the soles of his feet and into, like, he.

[The Raven]

Dropped his spirit and it just gone.

[Top Lobster]

He's like, whoops, drop my spirit. And he's like, trying to pick it up.

[Matt]

Getting in the spirit realm illegally just turns into the craziest, most out of control stories.

[Top Lobster]

Oh, Jim says, who remembers salvia? Yeah, I did salvia a number of times, and that was always a wonky experience.

[The Raven]

Oh, it's 33 minutes. Are we. Are we given.

[Top Lobster]

Oh, the pores. The pores are listening. That's what that disgusting feeling was.

[The Raven]

Matt, are we doing. No, it's the olds. The olds.

[Top Lobster]

And don't say that about the old.

[The Raven]

We got to be real, though.

[Top Lobster]

Yeah. No, we can't. We have to kick them out. We have to kick him out. Guys, if you want to Continue watching this patreon.com/now/ephilim Death Squad. Otherwise, wait about a week and a half. That seems to be about the running half. I didn't like that.

[Matt]

Like, three weeks to a month, dude.

[Top Lobster]

We're busy building a studio.

[The Raven]

We're all.

[Matt]

First time I said that, I was like, yeah, it'll be out in three weeks. Tom's like, it's not three weeks, Matt.

[Top Lobster]

And then he bought a laser. He bought a laser? Yeah.

[Matt]

And it was four weeks, Matt.

[Top Lobster]

With three T's. Okay. Goodbye, guys.

[The Raven]

Oh, by the way, that it's coming out. It's coming out.

[Matt]

Wait, so do we ask the people to become Patreon members now?

[Top Lobster]

That's what I. No, we don't ask them. We say, it's there if you want it. And you discussed me.

[The Raven]

Otherwise, you can do it. It's free.

[Matt]

Can't nudge them a little bit and just say, yo. Just be a Patreon member. It helps out to B.

[Top Lobster]

There's Nobody. You're talking to nobody anymore. We already kicked him out.

[The Raven]

We need another camera.

[Top Lobster]

What? Yeah, we have three cameras in here. Two cameras at your house.

[Matt]

Down, like out of a hydraulic lift, like out of the ceiling.

[The Raven]

We need one more speaker cam from like the corner, and it shows all three of us somehow.

[Top Lobster]

I don't look at your phone while you're doing a show.

[The Raven]

No, it's fine.

[Top Lobster]

Don't.

[The Raven]

Don't watch.

[Top Lobster]

Try to read this dude.

[The Raven]

That's his style. Disrespectful.

[Top Lobster]

I know, it's very disrespectful. Okay, so where were we on your.

[Matt]

Phones all the time?

[Top Lobster]

Not when I'm doing a show. Never. Okay, so let's see.

[Matt]

Okay, can I just say something about no window in hopes of catching someone playing stupid games? Are we sure he's not messing around with meth dude? Because that's very.

[Top Lobster]

No, dude. Somebody broke into his girlfriend.

[Matt]

But even still, you're like looking out the blinds. It's just. Yeah.

[The Raven]

Was he digging holes?

[Matt]

I don't know.

[Top Lobster]

Okay, he already gave us context. He said, this is happening around the time of bath salts. This is a huge deal, right? 2012, 2013. While people are getting their faces eaten off by bums or vagrants or transients.

[The Raven]

Hide your kids, hide your wife, if you will.

[Top Lobster]

So one night, my girlfriend and I are home and we hear a woman yell outside at the same time, a bang. I rush to the window to. Can you do it? I don't think the bang was sufficient. But we rush to the window. I look outside, I see a.

[Narrator/Advertiser]

Do you know what happens when you replace your regular old electric water heater with a new electric heat pump water heater? You boost your savings a lot. In fact, Energy Star estimates that a family of four will save an average of $550 a year on their electric energy bills. And your new heat pump water heater can pay for itself in as little as 3. Level up with a heat pump water heater. Go to levelupmywaterheater.com to learn more.

[Top Lobster]

Hey, man, what was that? What the hell was that, dude?

[The Raven]

I hope everybody saw that. I think he was on camera.

[Top Lobster]

Are you K2 on the show? What was that, dude?

[Matt]

There was just something floating.

[The Raven]

I like how Chuck was like. He's like, I'm so glad you're in these guys lives because you're gonna like really help them. And he's just like, there was something flowing.

[Top Lobster]

Remember the video of Hillary Clinton?

[The Raven]

Look at that.

[Top Lobster]

Hillary Clinton. She's like, yeah, I'm sorry if you don't read. No, dude, I'm just. I was interrupted.

[The Raven]

This is the show. He asked what the show was. This is the show.

[Top Lobster]

This is the show.

[Matt]

I love this show.

[Top Lobster]

Okay, so I see a woman to everything.

[Matt]

Oh, damn.

[Top Lobster]

I see a woman kick one of my neighbor's car doors. So she's just a crackhead. Remember the guy that's just like.

[Matt]

Oh, no.

[Top Lobster]

What was the. What was the thing? Here we go. Remember the guy? He's walking down the. His legs are black and he's like tripping out. He's walking down the street and.

[The Raven]

Remember the guy that put the gasoline in his butt? You remember that guy?

[Top Lobster]

Oh, that was an awesome time to be on the Internet. No, hold on. This is. I have to deviate for a second because I just remember.

[The Raven]

We gotta keep reading, Matt. Go ahead, keep reading.

[Top Lobster]

I remembered a meme.

[Matt]

I like where this is going. I rush to the window and look outside. I see a woman kick one of my neighbor's car doors. The next thing I realize, she's making a beeline towards my bike.

[Top Lobster]

My bike, not my bike.

[Matt]

Like Leonidas kicking some pooper down a well. She kicks over my motorcycle. I know the reference. That's a great reference.

[Top Lobster]

It is a great reference.

[The Raven]

Oh, she did it like the 300.

[Matt]

Yeah.

[The Raven]

Damn, dog. That's so. That's crazy.

[Matt]

It's getting good. This is way better than the last one. I open the door of our second floor apartment in a rage. But all I can think to yell in a deep, guttural voice is, hey. She looks up, sees me and starts booking it. I give chase.

[The Raven]

Oh, yeah.

[Top Lobster]

You remember this guy? Nobody else remembers this. Maybe I can show this to the camera. She plays the pit. Pittsburgh Steelers and remembers that. Dude's like a transient walking down the sidewalk having a conversation with himself. I'm sorry. Please continue.

[Matt]

I realized after getting down the stairs and halfway down the block. What am I gonna do if I catch her? Curb stomp this lady.

[Top Lobster]

Whoa, whoa, dude, calm down. Do you think that's an over?

[Matt]

That's an. Oh, yeah. It's just a bike. It's just a bike.

[Top Lobster]

Well, she did. I mean, she.

[Matt]

Leonidas did, but it's still just.

[Top Lobster]

You know how expensive the damage is, probably.

[The Raven]

I'm not a big fan of disrespect.

[Top Lobster]

Okay?

[Matt]

No, you're not. But you hold a grudge for.

[Top Lobster]

You hold a grudge forever. Curb stomping a person.

[Matt]

Curb stomping is like what he's thinking.

[Top Lobster]

That's what he's thinking. Yes, but what about. What about A Leonidas kiss from Blue Letter Bible. You kick her in the chest. Boom. What about this?

[The Raven]

Who wrote this?

[Matt]

Why would you say that?

[Top Lobster]

Because it's Jake. What do you guys. As a serious question, obviously curb stomping is too far, but if you catch her, can you give her a stiff boot to the chest? It's not gonna lose. She's not gonna lose all her teeth.

[Matt]

A female.

[The Raven]

Yeah, yeah.

[Matt]

No.

[Top Lobster]

What if she comes at you?

[Matt]

No, it's a female jab.

[Top Lobster]

Can we boot her in the chest? Chat. Is this real? Okay, please continue this reback.

[The Raven]

Hands exist for a reason. Yes. Thank you. Real, right? I mean, you know, that's true. There's got to be some kind of.

[Top Lobster]

No, it's like pushing, but with the sole of your foot. That's all.

[Matt]

Hold on. That was just a. That was just one of those words that, like, sets top off.

[Top Lobster]

Which one was it?

[Matt]

I just said inappropriate.

[Top Lobster]

Inappropriate.

[Matt]

See, when I was Bobby Johnson in the chat and said inappropriate, he lost it. He went sour.

[Top Lobster]

Well, Top doesn't like when you say what he's doing is inappropriate or he's crossing lines.

[Matt]

I know, but I thought he was gonna know it was me in the chat.

[Top Lobster]

If you say that, he. What he does is unprofessional. He doesn't like that.

[The Raven]

I just got so much trauma from before. Everybody telling me what I was doing was unprofessional. It was, but I didn't like it.

[Matt]

Thought it was inappropriate. I look back and yell at my girlfriend to grab her keys and her phone and start to run back towards my girlfriend's car. I hop in the passenger side and tell her to start to follow the woman.

[Top Lobster]

Follow that woman.

[The Raven]

They're just driving five miles an hour next to the lady.

[Top Lobster]

I don't think she's going, yeah, that fast. Right?

[The Raven]

I mean. All right.

[Matt]

I called 911 and tell them what happened and that we are following this person. This chick stops running after she gets to the next block and thinks no one is following her. Meanwhile, the cops say it might be 10 minutes until they get to us. So just keep an eye on it.

[Top Lobster]

So you really. Your only. Your only recourse is to boot her in the chest.

[The Raven]

You're just rolling next.

[Top Lobster]

Okay, here, let me ask you.

[Matt]

Nothing.

[Top Lobster]

If you see her continuing down the street and she's just damaging people's stuff and you're the only person that stands in between.

[The Raven]

Keep going. You roll up next to me and.

[Top Lobster]

You go, hey, but you grab her, right? You go, no, don't destroy any people's Any. And then she stabs you and you go, should have booted her in the chest, because I would have never got stabbed it alone. And let everybody's stuff, which is just. This person gets to go down the street and destroy everybody's stuff unchallenged.

[The Raven]

Can you throw something at her?

[Matt]

God's gonna deal with people, bro. You can't be okay. But everybody.

[The Raven]

Yeah, but my Suzuki, bro.

[Top Lobster]

What about his Suzuki?

[Matt]

I don't know. His Harley Davidson style thing is just like, ah. I just want to see where this goes, though, because I feel like, according to what you're saying about this show is like, all of a sudden she grows wings and flies off. No, no, no.

[The Raven]

Can I just.

[Top Lobster]

Probably not.

[The Raven]

Can I just say how crazy it is that, like, he's like, trolling me as Bobby Johnson? And then we're in the shop right over there and some guy comes up, big shot lawyer, and he goes, hey, Top, this is Bobby Johnson.

[Matt]

No, Bob. Bob Johnson.

[Top Lobster]

Bobby dude.

[The Raven]

Yeah, I know.

[Matt]

I. I made up the name Bobby Johnson like, so long ago. It's just my fake name. If I didn't want to give my real name for something.

[Top Lobster]

Hick says, stop it, Matt. God uses people to do his works. Genghis Khan said that he was a. I forget exactly how it was worded, but more or less, he told people that, like, I am God's punishment for the. For your sins.

[Matt]

It's convenient.

[Top Lobster]

So if I say that before I kick her in the chest, is that cool? He killed a couple million people that sinned. Look, the way I see, you know, people get really wound up about, like, physical violence. Like, you ever just get push. Kicked in the chest. It doesn't hurt.

[The Raven]

You just like it.

[Top Lobster]

You just get. It's like a big shove.

[The Raven]

Yeah.

[Top Lobster]

And you're like, whoa. And it's like, really effective.

[The Raven]

I don't think it would have stopped her. She would have got up and still.

[Top Lobster]

Okay.

[Matt]

There is a passage, though, where Jesus tells all the disciples, don't carry a sword. Don't carry extra money, don't carry an extra collection bag, because we got these hands. You don't need anything. But then that's at the beginning of his ministry when they're just going to Israel. And then at the very end, it's in Luke's account, he says, hey, remember I told you all that, don't carry that stuff. Yeah, but now I'm telling you, do carry that stuff. And if you don't have a sword, sell your coat and buy one.

[Narrator/Advertiser]

Do you know what happens when you Replace your regular old electric water heater with a new electric heat pump water heater. Boost your savings a lot. In fact, Energy Star estimates that a family of four will save an average of $550 a year on their electric energy bills. And your new heat pump water heater can pay for itself in as little as three years. Level up with a heat pump water heater. Go to levelupmywaterheater.com to learn more.

[Matt]

He tells the disciples, start carrying swords.

[Top Lobster]

That was weird, though.

[The Raven]

Time for war.

[Matt]

No, no, I think.

[The Raven]

I don't know.

[Top Lobster]

You saying kill the crackhead?

[The Raven]

I don't know. I was just watching House of David and these guys were killing everybody.

[Top Lobster]

They were killing everybody.

[Matt]

Different. That's different.

[Top Lobster]

It only counts if you're at.

[Matt]

Because they were at war.

[Top Lobster]

You got to kill people.

[Matt]

War is not.

[The Raven]

Yeah, with crackheads.

[Top Lobster]

Well, I mean, the way I see it, how do we know? What you need is people who are merciful, who are good at violence. So, like, if you're a crackhead and you're screwing up everybody's car, you want me to intervene? Because as soon as I push kick you, I'm gonna go, what are you doing, silly? I'm never gonna stomp you and beat you up and all that. I'm gonna go, what are you doing, you silly? Go. Somebody else is going to come out of the house.

[The Raven]

Let's find out what he did. Let's see what he did, okay? And then we'll. We'll judge if we respect him later.

[Top Lobster]

That's fine.

[Matt]

Meanwhile, the cops say it might be 10 minutes until they get to us.

[Top Lobster]

Too long.

[Matt]

So just keep an eye on her. We keep following. I can tell this chick is a pill head by the way she's acting. A pill head, by the way, is someone who takes various painkillers or anxiety medications.

[Top Lobster]

Thank you. Thank you, Jake.

[Matt]

So we pull around the block and position ourselves so she is walking towards us. Oh, no. This is like when you're hunting, dude, and you get out your spot stocking and you get out in front of a deer that's coming towards you. You're not downwind. She starts to get close to the car.

[The Raven]

Yeah, but we waited till she was broadside.

[Matt]

She starts to get close to the car and my girlfriend starts to pull away from the curb. I shit you not. This pill popping lady, he says it.

[Top Lobster]

With the H. I've never heard that word. It's fine to say.

[The Raven]

I like that.

[Matt]

Sticks her thumb out and tries to hitch a ride from us.

[Top Lobster]

Okay.

[The Raven]

Oh, did he do it?

[Matt]

Dude. Yeah, that's how out of it she was. And I know what you guys are thinking. We should have picked her up, drove her out to the country.

[Top Lobster]

Oh, no.

[Matt]

Played special games with her and thrown her in a ditch. Well, hindsight is 22. I like that.

[Top Lobster]

Dude, Jake is the best, man. Jake's being a silly goose.

[Matt]

Should have got her in the car and like ministered the gospel to her.

[Top Lobster]

No, he should have got out of the car and then gave her a good old push kick. It would have folded her in half because she's a crackhead. And then when she hit the ground, he'd been like, what are you doing?

[The Raven]

Super sketch to let anybody, anybody in your car hitchhiking. Matt's type of dude to be like, dude, come on in.

[Matt]

You know how many times I've walked for so long and was like, and just destroy one of these people after Suzuki, like, it's gonna ruin this person's day. I've got five hours of walking right now. One of these people can't pick me.

[Top Lobster]

Up and take five minutes. Dude, I would never pick you up.

[The Raven]

Never.

[Top Lobster]

Are you kidding me? You look so mad.

[The Raven]

Not with those shoes that you wear.

[Top Lobster]

You're wearing Skechers. That's sketchy.

[Matt]

These are vans, bro.

[The Raven]

We asked Matt, we said, yo, bro, when it. Cuz like we come across like, they are vans. If we come across a good set of sneakers, like, we'll pick something up. You, what size do you wear? He goes, I wear a size like 9 to 15. Yeah, whatever. Like what?

[Matt]

No, I don't want any expensive shoes like you guys wear.

[Top Lobster]

Any donations on this show which you have so far done? None. Oh, wait, no. This is the Patreon members. We're gonna buy Matt some sneakers. We're gonna buy him dunks, and we're gonna buy the most colorful ones we can.

[The Raven]

Yeah, yeah, the.

[Narrator/Advertiser]

Oh.

[Matt]

I'm not wearing any shoes.

[Top Lobster]

If we got you something, you wouldn't wear it. Oh, that would break our heart, dude.

[Matt]

We could put the money towards a camera, bro.

[The Raven]

Probably farm with it.

[Top Lobster]

That's fine. I don't care what he does with him. He could destroy him. I walk in like the dirt and the mud and everything with my stuff, but, like, if we got you stuff, you wouldn't wear it.

[The Raven]

You live in an apartment.

[Top Lobster]

Well, his. His chicken shit filled backyard.

[The Raven]

Wow.

[Matt]

The cops show up and throw this insincere sobbing mess into their car.

[The Raven]

Look at those.

[Top Lobster]

Oh, there you go. That's it.

[The Raven]

They're only $2,500.

[Top Lobster]

That's it. I don't care where you wear them.

[The Raven]

Look at those. They got the cow.

[Matt]

Garbage, pail kids. Like, I don't know any humans.

[The Raven]

The burping. Okay, let's. Let's keep reading. Let's keep reading.

[Top Lobster]

Can you continue?

[The Raven]

So they killed this lady.

[Matt]

You really don't mind if I read?

[Top Lobster]

Yeah, go ahead.

[The Raven]

We like it.

[Top Lobster]

This is your first time on Chronicles. You're having a good time.

[Matt]

I love the Chronicles. The cops show up and throw this insincere, sobbing mess of a woman into their car and follow me back to my bike. A couple blocks away, the pill head is still sobbing while I talk to the officer and inform him that I would like to press charges. Oh yeah, this dude holds a grudge. Like, top, look how you don't like it. I love that you don't like it when the guy holds a grudge, but.

[Top Lobster]

You hold a grudge.

[The Raven]

I've never pressed charges on anything.

[Matt]

It doesn't. You would though. In your heart, man. You're like, yes, you do press charges.

[Top Lobster]

It press charges in the spirit realm. 100.

[Matt]

Yeah. After he's done getting all my info, I ask if he will help me pick up my bike. He simply says, sorry, sir, I can't do that.

[The Raven]

What?

[Top Lobster]

Really? The cop can't help you pick up your bike?

[Matt]

So begrudgingly, I set it back up on my own, acting like it's really not that heavy. Off they go to the police station. Part three.

[Top Lobster]

Top, you want to pick it up from here? I don't want to hear Matt talk anymore.

[The Raven]

About two weeks after my bike gets kicked over, I'm sitting in my apartment alone playing GTA 5. Nice. My ex girlfriend is a waitress and she's still at work till about 10pm as I'm playing this video game, I slightly hear a woman scream outside, help. So my ears perk up.

[Matt]

Oh, move.

[Top Lobster]

Yeah, but is it her again?

[The Raven]

I don't know. I don't know.

[Matt]

I'm gonna get a new house, dude.

[The Raven]

I sit, not moving, just listening. And I hear it again. Now I get up from the couch and walk toward the front door and crack it open. No, but dude. Dude. Now you get your gun.

[Top Lobster]

Yeah. And you shoot a crackhead.

[Matt]

No, read the rest of the.

[The Raven]

So I crack open the front door to hear more better.

[Top Lobster]

More better as you hear more better.

[The Raven]

He didn't even put R E. It's just mo apostle. As to hear more better. Now I'm saying, man. What? We like to guess the ethnicity sometimes.

[Top Lobster]

Oh, Jake, Jake.

[The Raven]

I don't think country boy.

[Top Lobster]

Good Old country boy because he drives a Suzuki motorcycle.

[Matt]

He's just a white dude.

[Top Lobster]

Yeah, he's just a white dude. Not a lot of black people on motorcycles.

[The Raven]

You think he's white trash?

[Matt]

Well, that's a very relative term, depending on where.

[Top Lobster]

Is that a nice area?

[The Raven]

No, it's crackheads.

[Top Lobster]

Oh, yeah, true.

[The Raven]

Oh, Livermore is not nice.

[Matt]

No. I mean, now it's incredibly expensive, but there's still the hood there, as far as I know.

[Top Lobster]

So Jake is a recovering addict is what you're saying?

[Matt]

Yeah.

[Top Lobster]

Okay.

[The Raven]

Okay. So now I hear clear as the day is long, these words.

[Top Lobster]

She.

[The Raven]

No, she. Please, God, somebody help me, is what they say. The screams are coming from the graveyard across the street you live next to. Yeah, this is. Yeah, I throw down the PS4 controller and I run down the stairs across the street to the chain link fence of the graveyard.

[Top Lobster]

What are you doing? Here's a clue, here's a clue, here's a clue. What I'm wearing only a pair of basketball. Oh, yeah, I know exactly what kind of bet.

[The Raven]

You think he's wearing underwear. Nah, we know a guy that would just wear. That's right, no underwear.

[Matt]

I already know what you're talking.

[Top Lobster]

Just dick print, like around all kinds of people.

[The Raven]

Disrespectful.

[Top Lobster]

You just be out with people. Just dick.

[The Raven]

Yeah, all right, but that's enough.

[Matt]

It's really inappropriate.

[Top Lobster]

No, I thought so too.

[The Raven]

From the guy that sent in October.

[Top Lobster]

Okay, well, that's an old me.

[The Raven]

That's it. No shoes, no shirt, just shorts. Playing Grand Theft Auto. Okay, see, this is. It's. These are good clues to who this person is in his house playing grand theft auto 5, probably drinking a soda and just shorts on.

[Matt]

Gross. Like, I feel like time is just slipping by, though, if you're just like, like playing games.

[Top Lobster]

Well, you play games. You like.

[The Raven]

Do you think this guy's even reading.

[Top Lobster]

The Bible all this time? He could be reading the Bible.

[Matt]

He might be, though.

[Top Lobster]

I don't think you should. All right, let me ask you this though, real quick. Should you be reading the Bible in basketball shorts?

[Matt]

Yeah, you should be reading the Bible, reading the Bible, anytime, anywhere.

[The Raven]

What if you have. What if you have, like, a really crazy, like, esoteric type introduction to your podcast? Should you be reading the Bible then?

[Top Lobster]

Should you be wearing basketball shorts if you don't play basketball?

[The Raven]

Oh, great. Questions.

[Matt]

This is question.

[Top Lobster]

This is literally. I draw the line here and I go, absolutely not. If you've got a little dude on your shorts that's literally got a basketball in his Head.

[The Raven]

I'll tell you what.

[Top Lobster]

Go ahead.

[The Raven]

I went. I went to a very fancy event in Orlando, and I wore golf pants. They were like, golf slacks, Very comfortable.

[Top Lobster]

What is it? Golf?

[Matt]

What for?

[The Raven]

For, like, instead of, like.

[Top Lobster]

Like, khakis?

[The Raven]

Nah, they look like dress pants, but.

[Matt]

They'Re like a wanker. Were they, like, plaid?

[Top Lobster]

That's not a word that anybody in America uses.

[Matt]

Was it like an Adam Sandler movie?

[The Raven]

Not dog. They're, like, gray, but they're, like, stretchy, and they're for golf.

[Top Lobster]

Did you buy them, like, knowing they were for golf?

[The Raven]

Really? But then I noticed that they were Nike, so I was like, oh, damn. This is so like. Yeah, you could mix sports and leisure.

[Top Lobster]

If you like, but not the shorts.

[The Raven]

I'm wearing basketball shorts right now, baby boy. What are you talking about?

[Top Lobster]

And I've never seen you ball, not once.

[Matt]

He's got a good point. Dude, you can't hoop. You didn't even hesitate that you're like, dude, I'm not.

[The Raven]

I'm not that tall.

[Top Lobster]

I'm not a basketball player.

[The Raven]

I mean, I could. I bet you I'm better than David probably could.

[Matt]

Hoop.

[The Raven]

We know that David looks like he dribbles with two hands.

[Matt]

We know that.

[The Raven]

My dad.

[Matt]

Yeah, we know.

[The Raven]

How do we know that we know?

[Matt]

We saw the artwork in the house, bro. Him and his cousin falling out of control. They used to ball out.

[Top Lobster]

They weren't any good, though.

[The Raven]

Yeah. My dad's got a lot of roosters around, so, you know, he's Puerto Rican. The weather is wet, and there's a sinister, foggy mist in the air. Is that. Is that typical for California?

[Top Lobster]

Probably it's typical for graveyards. Yeah.

[Matt]

I mean, even in the summertime, San Francisco is, like, foggy, misty.

[The Raven]

Okay. So only the type of mist that could come through a graveyard in this exact situation.

[Matt]

That's not so common, then.

[The Raven]

Waste high mist just rolling across.

[Matt]

That appears to be a good.

[The Raven]

Let me tell you something. I'm really excited. We're halfway through this story. This is a good story. But I'm really excited to get to. To Jason's story, which I put up here.

[Top Lobster]

I'm excited, too.

[The Raven]

I'm just. I just want. I bet you if we. I don't know, if we read it, will he come back?

[Top Lobster]

But that's. By the way, Jason is a guy that shows up.

[Matt]

Look at this guy. Real rye. He's at Raven wearing singlets.

[Top Lobster]

Dude, real rye or die is the man. He's the.

[The Raven]

He.

[Top Lobster]

He gave me my first goal back.

[Matt]

That's Hilarious.

[Top Lobster]

Real Rye or Die is awesome. Yeah. Real Ry or die is the man. Long time, homie. Hope he shows up to the next Real Rise.

[The Raven]

I'll just be real with you right now. Real rye.

[Top Lobster]

Yeah.

[The Raven]

A little weird. He's like. He just came up. Came up to me at the last Bohemian Grove. He goes, yo, bro, like, all of us should go to your house.

[Top Lobster]

And I was like, hell, yeah, dude.

[The Raven]

And he goes like, yeah. Like, right now I'm just hanging. I was like, nope.

[Top Lobster]

That's what he said to me. He gave me the gold back. And he was like, let me in your home.

[The Raven]

That's what he said.

[Top Lobster]

Yeah. And I was like, I'll take the gold back.

[The Raven]

These fans are weird.

[Matt]

Yeah. What amount was a goal back? Like a one or R3.

[Top Lobster]

Says it's like wearing Muay Thai shorts and you don't train it. I have Muay Thai shorts.

[Matt]

That would be embarrassing.

[Top Lobster]

And I look so stupid in them.

[The Raven]

It is like wearing UFC gloves to make coffee. Okay, you know why?

[Top Lobster]

Because there's, like, this big crinkly section at the top, and it's.

[The Raven]

It's.

[Top Lobster]

I don't know. It's weird.

[The Raven]

Well, that's. It's a. Elongate your midsection.

[Top Lobster]

It doesn't look right on me. It only looks right on tall, skinny people. Doesn't look right on.

[The Raven]

The weather's wet and there's a sinister fog in the air. The only. Only the type that can come through a graveyard in this exact situation. As I stand by the fence listening, I see a guy from the apartment building next to mine run over to me.

[Narrator/Advertiser]

Do you know what happens when you replace your regular old electric water heater with a new electric heat pump water heater? You boost your savings a lot. In fact, Energy Star estimates that a family of four will save an average of $550 a year on their electric energy bills. And your new heat pump water can pay for itself in as little as three years. Level up with a heat pump water heater. Go to levelupmywaterheater.com to learn more.

[The Raven]

He's an exchange student, I guess from South Africa because he has a thick accent and he's white.

[Top Lobster]

Ah, gross.

[The Raven]

Yeah, that's a weird one. You run into a guy from South Africa. You're like, ah, dude, what are you doing here? Get back to go back. I know there's genocide going on there, but.

[Top Lobster]

Oh, yeah, shout out to the gen. Like. Not like, shout out to this.

[The Raven]

He doesn't know about this.

[Matt]

Yeah, I do, bro. The farmers. It has to do with farmers. I know about it.

[Top Lobster]

Wait, are we saying. I know anything that has to do with firm. Is it. Is it. Is it South Africa? Or is it South Africa? Ethiopia?

[Matt]

The farmers, bro.

[Top Lobster]

No, no, not the farmers. There's a Christian genocide happening.

[Matt]

Oh, I don't know.

[Top Lobster]

Is it Guyana, I think. And you want to. You want to sell to it.

[The Raven]

I think that's Israel.

[Top Lobster]

No, no. All right, all right.

[The Raven]

So. Okay, okay, okay. Known exchange students that come over here from far away because of Bethel Christian School.

[Matt]

Oh, he's in the mountains, bro. Bethel's up by, like, reading. That's like.

[Top Lobster]

That's, like, Nigeria. It's in Nigeria.

[The Raven]

The great 501c3 with the good music.

[Top Lobster]

It is the great. Yeah, yeah. A lot of Jehovah Witnesses go there.

[Matt]

What?

[The Raven]

Yeah, I like their music. You like their music?

[Top Lobster]

Oh, I'm sure Bethel's got it's whatever bus in music.

[Matt]

All right, listen, he asked me what's going on.

[The Raven]

Hey, what's going on, mate?

[Top Lobster]

A South African accent. Nancy, what are you doing? You're not in the chat, but you're in the chat. You're not.

[The Raven]

Nancy, get in it, please, because.

[Top Lobster]

Nancy, get to work.

[The Raven]

He said, what's going on, mate? At this. At this moment, we hear her again. An agonizing cry.

[Top Lobster]

Please, God, somebody help me. That's really, really risky because you ever hear, like, people hearing mimics in the woods?

[The Raven]

Yeah, yeah.

[Top Lobster]

Don't.

[The Raven]

Just don't go to. This is. This is my thing. Matt. Matt's like, oh, dude, you don't talk to people. You don't do this. You're like. You hold grudges. Just. I mind my business, dog.

[Top Lobster]

My business.

[The Raven]

Nah, dude, I'm from New York, so, like. Like, New York, baby. I'm gonna pick up. I'm gonna pick up a hitchhiker. It's like, I've seen people get stabbed on the subway.

[Matt]

Yeah.

[The Raven]

Just for making eye contact. And I'm like, dog, I don't even make eye contact. Like, you just keep moving. We keep it gangster. I have stepped over a dead person once. I know, I know. I just.

[Matt]

I just see humans. I'm like, hey, what's up? We have something in common, dude.

[The Raven]

I seen a guy.

[Top Lobster]

You don't give me the old smell test for first.

[The Raven]

I seen a guy with a foot molded off and, like, his sock was moving. And under it were, oh, maggots. Maggots.

[Matt]

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Top Lobster]

I know that.

[The Raven]

Off. And I was just like. I looked at him. I was like, you're a problem, dog. I Got things to do. Because if I get caught up there, care about others.

[Top Lobster]

Well, what are you supposed to do about the maggot foot?

[Matt]

Pray for him.

[Top Lobster]

Okay, that's different.

[The Raven]

Is that in the name of Jesus? And I walked away because, listen, all you're gonna do is you're gonna get wrapped up in their stuff, and then I'm gonna get in a lot of.

[Matt]

No, no, no, I'm not.

[Top Lobster]

I.

[Matt]

Listen, I don't f. With people for a long time. I'm. But I'm just like, hey, da, da, da. Help. Praying, Maybe some word of wisdom, whatever. But, yes, I'm with you. As soon as it turns into, like, let's do this thing and be a victim and go on and on, I'm like, hey, no. Like, you get, like, 60 seconds, dude. One time, the whole long thing.

[The Raven]

I'm standing on the train. I have my work gear on.

[Top Lobster]

I'm.

[The Raven]

We're headed to a stop. Holding on to the pole guy.

[Matt]

He's yawning again. He's yawning again, dude.

[Top Lobster]

Now I'm yawning. It's the first time I'm yawning.

[The Raven]

Guy at the end of the train is looking at me, and he's doing all the things so that I could.

[Top Lobster]

Look at him, and I see him.

[The Raven]

And I'm, like, not gonna look at him. And it got to the point where he got so frustrated because if I look it initiates, then I have to fight.

[Top Lobster]

It's consent.

[The Raven]

He pissed on himself, I swear to you.

[Top Lobster]

Yeah.

[The Raven]

Pissed on the most amount of piss I've ever seen in my life. And the piss ran towards me.

[Top Lobster]

That's cool.

[The Raven]

On my work.

[Matt]

No, it's not. Story, dude.

[The Raven]

It's not demonic.

[Top Lobster]

This is just New York City when I was, like, 13 years old. I had a girlfriend at the time, and I. And I got a smooch on a park bench, right? I'm sitting there on a park bench. I gave her a smooch. All of a sudden, a homeless guy comes over. Now. Now, I think this is actually the homeless guy doing the most hilarious thing he ever could have done.

[The Raven]

We're never gonna get through this story.

[Top Lobster]

No, it's almost done. This one's done. He walks over. He sees two young kids smooching on a bench, right? And what does he decide to do? He comes over, sits on the bench directly next to us, and just goes hot and just starts pissing. Oh, just pissing through his pants. And it's just slashing on the ground.

[The Raven]

To be honest. It's a power Move.

[Top Lobster]

Dude, this is funny thing.

[Matt]

He's marking his territory. This is like an ad for people to move to Florida. Like, is what's happening.

[Top Lobster]

Yeah, 100%. Okay.

[The Raven]

Just can't be next to these. Be their animals.

[Top Lobster]

We stop smooching.

[The Raven]

So they went to a Bethel Christian school. He asked me what's going on at this moment. We hear it again. Agonizing cry.

[Top Lobster]

Please, God, somebody help me.

[The Raven]

This lady's dying. And they're just having small talk. Immediately nod to the stranger, and he agrees. Let's do this.

[Top Lobster]

Hell, yeah.

[Matt]

So we sort of feel like it's a Cypress Hill song. I ain't going out like that. Like, they both heard it at the same time. They're like, yo, let's go.

[The Raven]

They did, like, the black white handshake.

[Matt]

Yeah.

[The Raven]

No, they didn't run. They jog.

[Top Lobster]

Okay.

[The Raven]

Because, I mean, let's.

[Matt]

Basketball shorts.

[Top Lobster]

Well, you can't see it.

[The Raven]

He doesn't have shoes on.

[Top Lobster]

Oh, yeah, yeah.

[The Raven]

So the guy's just like, why don't you have pants? So you ball. You balling right now. It's like, first we played a quick pickup game. All right, all right. So we jog up the block to the entrance of the graveyard and jump over the chain barrier. It's dark.

[Top Lobster]

He did it better than me because he's from South Africa.

[The Raven]

Yeah, this. This grave. Graveyard with few light posts and the mist making it hard to see. And we have nothing. No flashlights, no weapons, nothing. All right, Right. We start walking toward where the screams are coming from. And after about 20 yards or so, we come across a young guy, probably. Oh, things like this.

[Top Lobster]

Probably praly. Okay, maybe he's black. He's that kind of white.

[The Raven]

He's that kind of. Yeah, yeah.

[Top Lobster]

We've already established that. Grand theft auto 5, basketball shorts. K2. Did he do K2? Whatever, you know. Yeah, yeah.

[The Raven]

There's a lot of red flags, but definitely an NDS Listen. He walks up and pulls a knife out. Okay? We put our hands up, not in a way of surrender, but a defensive posture and say, hey, man, what's going on?

[Top Lobster]

I can't let you get close to me. Chaos, son.

[The Raven]

And, yeah, he tells us F off as we are slowly circling each other. Oh, so it's like a Mexican stand up here.

[Top Lobster]

I'm stabbing this bitch.

[Matt]

Yeah, all right.

[Top Lobster]

That's the language, lady.

[The Raven]

This is a Christian after hours.

[Top Lobster]

Nobody's here.

[The Raven]

It doesn't matter. You're still in the. Look at this. Look at the wallpaper.

[Top Lobster]

That's true.

[The Raven]

Have some respect.

[Matt]

Yeah, I Didn't care.

[The Raven]

He doesn't care.

[Top Lobster]

I do care. Why would you say I don't care?

[The Raven]

Okay, so they're circling each other. It's like a movie. But I know I can take this little dude out even if he's got a knife, let alone both of us. Dude, you're gonna get stabbed.

[Top Lobster]

This might get stabbed once, but he's not gonna kill you. By the way, Z Man says Jake is a wigger. And that's correct.

[The Raven]

Oh, yes.

[Top Lobster]

Why? Why did that word escape us?

[The Raven]

I don't know. That's what it is, though. You know that's what it is.

[Top Lobster]

You know, a wigger.

[Matt]

No, like, the dude said, California white. I'm that type of white.

[Top Lobster]

That's called a wigger.

[Matt]

There's just like a different. No, if you're from Cali, you're kind of like maybe a stoner or a skater, like a PS5 player, whatever he's talking about. You're just, like, doing your thing, but you're just kind of been around a lot of different ethnicities, and so you're a little bit of, you know, you kind of vibe with everybody.

[Top Lobster]

Wager.

[The Raven]

I like. Oh, he's the kind of guy that's like, you're playing the Game Boy, you're.

[Top Lobster]

Playing the Game Boy. You know, sometimes the Game Boy, these.

[The Raven]

Kids in their Tetris.

[Top Lobster]

All right, Waker, probably.

[The Raven]

So it's like a movie. He thinks he could take this guy. You're gonna get cut, dude. We can tell he wants out soon enough. We exchange places, and he is on the side, exiting the graveyard, and he starts to walk backwards, backing away, and then runs off into the darkness.

[Top Lobster]

Word up.

[The Raven]

We look at each other and continue to move deeper into the boneyard. Oh, I like how he's changing the boneyard vernacular. Yeah, they see, well, this show, it's like, forever, but as they. As they watch and they listen, they try better. Because, like, the first couple of emails, 30 emails, there was not even. There weren't.

[Top Lobster]

I sleep at night, wake up, big feelings, scary dark corner paragraphs.

[Matt]

This is what they call bots, bro.

[The Raven]

There's that.

[Matt]

There's no way to real people. This is a robot.

[Top Lobster]

No, we talk to the people. This is a show.

[Matt]

Just like, making stories up like, yeah, guys will believe this.

[The Raven]

This is clearly a wigger.

[Top Lobster]

In California, this is 100% a wigger.

[The Raven]

All right, all right, all right, all right.

[Top Lobster]

So, Jake, please confirm in some way, shape or form if you're a wigger.

[The Raven]

After about another 30 yards, we see a young woman walking Toward us. She's also in her late teens or early 20s. And we walk towards her because she is surely the one in distress and begin to ask if she's okay and what's going on and can we help? I can I say this. I shit you not, guys.

[Top Lobster]

Nice in the.

[The Raven]

Oh, man, there's so much language.

[Matt]

Nastiest, most disdainful tone. This girl says to us, and I quote, quote, leave me alone and walk away.

[The Raven]

Oh, I wish he would have read the one. It's a lot. It's a lot more fun to have him, like, watch these horrific. So the girl that went to jail.

[Top Lobster]

Oh, that was Heather. Shout out Heather. I hope she's still out there crushing. Yeah, she went to prison for.

[The Raven]

Yeah, she was in the chat reading her horrific story. But you would love it.

[Top Lobster]

Well, he liked the Olive Garden one. He thought that was good.

[The Raven]

Yeah, yeah, yeah, that was a good one.

[Matt]

Well, no, your commentary on that was, like, hilarious.

[Top Lobster]

Well, I mean, it's a. Literally a demon in an Olive Garden bathroom. Like that writes itself.

[Matt]

Yeah, Chess was erupting in laughter.

[Top Lobster]

Good use of the word erupt. He's like, heather was a chick from Alaska. No, dude, that's Kate. Kate is in there. Kate, are you good?

[The Raven]

Are you okay?

[Top Lobster]

Is that the right Kate? Is that. Is that Kate, the homie from Alaska? Are you good, dude? Just checking in on. Kate's got demons.

[The Raven]

Almost.

[Top Lobster]

God, dude.

[Matt]

Oh, she's good.

[Top Lobster]

Well, no, do I hope she's good.

[The Raven]

We need another alligator head.

[Matt]

I'm the chick from Alaska.

[Top Lobster]

Yeah, dude, Kate is awesome.

[The Raven]

But, but, but there's not the symmetrical. Maybe a bigger.

[Top Lobster]

Oh, another algalator head to like, like a big.

[The Raven]

Real big one. So we can put all the wires. Yeah, all right. Matt likes that.

[Top Lobster]

So you like that?

[The Raven]

Okay.

[Top Lobster]

Hear that?

[The Raven]

Jason, the South African dude and I just looked up at each other in shock and disbelief as she simply walked away. I'll never forget the ungratefulness in her voice. What'd you say? Holy shit, I'm alive. Yes. I am an effed up person. For real.

[Matt]

For real.

[The Raven]

I know.

[Matt]

Good Kate, you're doing.

[Top Lobster]

No, Kate is awesome, though. Kate is awesome. Yeah.

[The Raven]

But the thing is, you got to confront this stuff.

[Matt]

She's doing good. She's just getting up and doing her thing every day.

[Top Lobster]

Yeah. Getting up in the middle of the night, unbeknownst to herself. Doing good, I guess.

[The Raven]

Now, what do you think about holy water?

[Matt]

Yeah, I don't even. I'm not familiar with that. What are you talking. What chapter and verse are you talking about when you say this word. Holy water.

[Top Lobster]

Water. He just does.

[Matt]

I'm just saying, like, I'm on Ezekiel's temple where the water's coming out of the temple.

[Top Lobster]

How do you feel about, like, Nike dunks or.

[Matt]

Jesus said, like, wells of water will spring up from within you when you're. When you have the Holy Spirit. Like, that water. Are you talking about when you go in some building and there's, like, some bowl of water? Is that what you're talking about?

[The Raven]

Like, what if somebody prayed over a thing?

[Top Lobster]

Shout out to Nancy for the rat lagoon.

[Matt]

No, I don't care if people pray over. You would, like, pray over water, and then water does stuff.

[Top Lobster]

What do you think about rat?

[Matt]

No.

[The Raven]

Like, what if you prayed over cold coffee before you sent it out?

[Top Lobster]

Holy coffee.

[Matt]

Well, you should pray over stuff that's entering your body. Like, that's what the scripture's talking about, is nothing's unclean.

[Top Lobster]

Right.

[The Raven]

What if you did it?

[Matt]

What do you mean?

[The Raven]

You prayed over coffee and we sent it to Alaska.

[Top Lobster]

Could help.

[The Raven]

Would it help, Kate?

[Matt]

I mean, there is this thing where Paul. It said that they took handkerchiefs and aprons off of him and put them on people with demons and with sickness, and the demons left him, and the sickness left him. That's a thing. I'm not saying anything remotely close to that. Exactly. Exactly what happened today. But I'm just saying that concept is not biblically inaccurate.

[Top Lobster]

Okay, so let's pray over some stuff and send it to Kate.

[Narrator/Advertiser]

Do you know what happens when you replace your regular old electric water heater with a new electric heat pump water heater? You boost your savings a lot. In fact, Energy Star estimates that a family of four will save an average of $550 a year on their electric energy bills. And your new heat pump water water heater can pay for itself in as little as three years. Level up with a heat pump water heater. Go to levelupmywaterheater.com to learn more.

[Matt]

When you say us, though, it's. Or we.

[The Raven]

Well, you and we watch you.

[Top Lobster]

I said let's. Which is. It's a plural words that you just said.

[The Raven]

Yeah. Nosotros is like us.

[Top Lobster]

I never liked it. That's like nosotros.

[Matt]

He won't read a Bible. Give him a Bible.

[Top Lobster]

I read it, Matt. He wants me to read it every day.

[The Raven]

Have you seen him just reading this now? It's been.

[Matt]

It only takes, like, even if you just read a paragraph a day, like, whatever, just start.

[The Raven]

This other guy and myself risked everything and ran headlong Into a nightmare with no thought of ourselves. And this little idiot, this strumpet, this.

[Matt]

Wow, I don't know that last word appropriate.

[Top Lobster]

Jake is mad, but he's mad. Dude, he just furious. And he's allowed stabbed by a crackhead.

[Matt]

Wait, is this still the same guy that the chick kicked over his bike?

[The Raven]

Same guy, different story. Yeah, maybe.

[Top Lobster]

Pertains.

[The Raven]

Anyway, we both slowly walked out of there, not saying a word, just processing what happened. And then said bye at the gate. And I never saw any of them again. Still cracks me up how dumb, yet how heroic we are. We were. Yeah, you hear about setups like that all the time. And we even play scenarios like that in Red Dead right, Raven.

[Top Lobster]

That's true.

[The Raven]

Yeah, he might have lucked out running into some random dude that's gonna follow him.

[Top Lobster]

Yeah, you might get stabbed.

[Matt]

Well, that's why it says in Hebrews, be careful about strangers. Because some have entertained angels unaware. Yeah, I mean, who knows?

[The Raven]

Oh, you think that dude was an angel?

[Matt]

Oh, it could have been an angel, bro. At least if there's two of us, then you're not gonna get stabbed.

[Top Lobster]

No, the South African angelic angel.

[Matt]

Could have been.

[The Raven]

All right, I like that. That name of the episode. South Africa.

[Top Lobster]

That's. Yeah, that's the name of the episode.

[The Raven]

People.

[Matt]

Wait, and how did he know he was South African? He just.

[The Raven]

Stupid accent. Yeah, he sound like Drake is duplessis. Very good. That's a UFC reference.

[Matt]

Sounds inappropriate.

[The Raven]

No, no, he's a champion after that tonight.

[Top Lobster]

But no, no, this Saturday, pay per view. This guy that everybody wants.

[Matt]

Night in the library mat.

[Top Lobster]

Apparently not, because everybody got all tighted back.

[Matt]

No, I said go ahead. Out in the main lobby. Go for it.

[Top Lobster]

No, it's fine.

[The Raven]

We're not gonna get a horrible idea. All right. After that, I told myself I'd never risk my life like that for some stranger ever again. Hell yeah. Jake very smart. That little ruined it for some. Some truly in need. But as it turns out, I'm still not that jaded. You're dumb. Post script.

[Top Lobster]

Post script. Just say P.S. you fancy.

[The Raven]

You know, if you guys was like characters out of the classic movie Overboard with Kurt Russell.

[Top Lobster]

Never seen it. What does that mean?

[Matt]

Top would be Goldie Hall. You guys don't know that movie.

[The Raven]

We don't know. We're not.

[Matt]

That guys are like little.

[Top Lobster]

We're very young.

[Matt]

Top would be Goldie Hawk because of his shoe fetish.

[The Raven]

And this is like the scene.

[Matt]

And Raven would be bad. Billy Pratt.

[Top Lobster]

I don't even get it.

[The Raven]

Hope you guys Are. Well, I hope that was for you.

[Matt]

Well, it just. They just made the point that top would be a female, which is awkward.

[The Raven]

Oh, a female. Goldie Horns. A female.

[Top Lobster]

You know.

[The Raven]

You know what? He's making the point that you're old, Jake. That you're old. That you fit into the average demographic listener of Nephilim Death Squad.

[Top Lobster]

You would make a horrific looking woman.

[The Raven]

We got to figure out a way to get, like, in the will of some of our listeners, because clearly they're out. They're at the door.

[Matt]

Wait, so what are we saying happened in the story? It's just two dramatic trailer trash folks were having a fight in a graveyard.

[Top Lobster]

Yeah, I have to admit, Jake, that wasn't particularly supernatural.

[Matt]

Yeah, I thought this was a supernatural show.

[Top Lobster]

We don't vet these stories. We like to read them.

[The Raven]

Well, Nancy does.

[Top Lobster]

Well, Nancy's supposed to vet the stories. But she. She's.

[Matt]

But that's. But that's all it was, right? It's just two people got in a fight in a graveyard, and one was like, help, help. And.

[Top Lobster]

But it was just. All right, but this one is from Jason. Last name. We're not gonna read. Don't say we're not gonna dox. And he.

[The Raven]

Dreadlock Jason.

[Top Lobster]

Dreadlock Jason's story. This is our Jason the homie. No, Alkalator head.

[The Raven]

Jason sat at the table for six hours. I'm pretty sure that that's illegal.

[Top Lobster]

Just reading straight Bible.

[Matt]

Yeah, no, no, regularly. You're saying, like, it's one day. He regularly is in here. He's reading straight through Matthew right now. We talk a little bit about it. I mean, he's been in Ephesians.

[The Raven]

You ever tell him to, like, leave? Like, you can't beat that long.

[Top Lobster]

Why would you do that?

[Matt]

The more and more I know him.

[Top Lobster]

He looks like he carries a knife.

[Matt]

Legit, bro. Yeah, legit. Dude, he's been here.

[The Raven]

He was here so long one time I saw his dreadlocks grow.

[Top Lobster]

They did grow.

[The Raven]

Yeah.

[Top Lobster]

Like when we walked in versus when we left.

[The Raven]

When I left, I was like, damn, this guy's been here forever.

[Top Lobster]

He looks like he carries a knife.

[Matt]

Solid.

[The Raven]

Oh, 100% carries a knife. And he probably killed that gator. We need a second one or a larger one, please.

[Top Lobster]

Come on, Jason. All right, new member. We know who you are. Loving the show. Here's my schizo tale of discovering NDS and the standard.

[The Raven]

Oh, shout out to the.

[Top Lobster]

My journey began as a misguided youth who carried a knife. No. Who carried the shame of a material last Name.

[Matt]

What does that mean?

[Top Lobster]

I'm not sure what that means. All of that didn't really matter, or so I thought, as I was able to gain motivation, learn from those around me, and become a man of commitment and make a better life for mine.

[The Raven]

He doesn't look like. I mean, he's not. I don't know if he's the type of guy that's going to like what we're going to do with this.

[Top Lobster]

Oh, well, by now he's probably realized what a mistake it was, but he's.

[Matt]

Saying he comes from a wealthy family. Family.

[Top Lobster]

That's kind of what it seems like.

[Matt]

Okay.

[Top Lobster]

But he figured out his own way of. Of, you know. You know, I guess. How would you say? The gain motivation. Because, you know, you have, like, nepotism, right? Like these Nepo babies that just ride. That last name sounds like he figured out a way to. To make himself his own man.

[Matt]

Yo, that's a big deal.

[Top Lobster]

That is a big deal. I was everything I wanted to be. I was having a blast. But I hadn't learned all the lessons I should have while driving. Determination developed me into a man of means.

[The Raven]

This guy's smart.

[Top Lobster]

I like. Yeah. Yeah.

[The Raven]

I feel bad talking to him now because I'm like, he' smarter and we're so dumb. Yeah.

[Matt]

To do with anything.

[The Raven]

No, because when I see him, I could tell, like, oh, because you try to flex on.

[Matt]

Because he's like, oh, no, I shouldn't be flexible.

[Top Lobster]

Yeah. I want to be taken seriously. I'm very smart.

[The Raven]

I don't want to flex on him. I just want to say hi. But now I know that, like, I'm like, he's amazing.

[Top Lobster]

Now he's like, I should have been saying hello.

[The Raven]

I would never. I would never say these words here. Man of me.

[Top Lobster]

And not. It's not like a man of me.

[The Raven]

Man of means. I could. I can do whatever I want.

[Matt]

Means he's well spoken, bro.

[The Raven]

Yeah, dude, I don't know words like that. And I'm a podcaster. It's kind of disrespectful.

[Top Lobster]

I don't have a lot of words.

[The Raven]

He sits there in this lobby. Okay.

[Top Lobster]

Yeah. And he's judging us.

[The Raven]

Judging us.

[Matt]

Judging. But he might be kind of under his breath going.

[Top Lobster]

This podcast. These assholes don't even know words. The generational emotional baggage turned me into a creature of vice. He really does. I won't recount all the faults that led to this, but I found myself a single dad of two at 30 years old with no clue what to do. Next. That's a heavy place, dude. So I kept doing what I was successful at and buried myself in work and whiskey. Damn, this is like poetry.

[The Raven]

No, this is.

[Top Lobster]

It's. It's. It's a sad but beautiful kind of a story already.

[The Raven]

I'm gonna run this through AI to make sure he didn't.

[Top Lobster]

I was just gonna ask this. Yeah, I think. Yeah. This Jake. You or Jason? You thought we wouldn't know, but we know.

[The Raven]

He's like, AI, make me sound smart.

[Top Lobster]

I'm fortunate enough to live in Florida's friendliest hometown. And it takes a village.

[Matt]

Let's go shout out villages.

[Top Lobster]

So raising. Don't dox him, dude.

[Matt]

He just said it. He lives in Florida.

[Top Lobster]

No, it was a euphemism.

[The Raven]

It was an innuendo.

[Matt]

Everybody knows Florida's friendliest hometown is called the Villages.

[Top Lobster]

So raising the children turned out the best dog. I like the play on words.

[The Raven]

Flowery language, pun.

[Top Lobster]

So raising the children turned out to be easier than expected. Even as a drunk man, the villages were. Even a drunk can raise a family.

[The Raven]

So here's the thing. Like, we're like, he's driving the. The. He's driving it. And then. And then he's just taking us at the end of the sentence. We're like, just jerking the wheel.

[Top Lobster]

Well, he's making it fun. It is a nice experience.

[The Raven]

Have you ever seen Owen Benjamin do his Baby Boomerville?

[Top Lobster]

Dude, you gotta show Matt Baby Boomerville Benjamin.

[Matt]

I know he's got a food for us.

[Top Lobster]

He's got. He does have a food for us. But unlike you, he. Oh, no, actually, just like you, he shows up with dirty hands and it's to, like, flex on us or something weird.

[The Raven]

Wash your hands.

[Top Lobster]

Are you typing? You're typing here, dog. You're just typing x dot com. Okay, so. So I was able to maintain for the next three years, or what I thought was maintaining. Then at the age of 33, a family member took me aside at a July 4th party and made me aware of the reality of my consumption and situation. Oh, this dude had tuberculosis. Damn, boy. That's crazy.

[The Raven]

That's a rare disease.

[Top Lobster]

No, I. That was. That's a Red Dead joke.

[Matt]

For. For.

[Top Lobster]

For.

[The Raven]

You died of consumption.

[Top Lobster]

Consumption.

[The Raven]

Yeah, That's a tuberculosis. Keep reading, keep reading. I'm gonna find.

[Top Lobster]

Was it tuberculosis? Joke just went right over your head. Chat, please. Anybody? Okay, so. Made me aware of the reality of my consumption and situation. I was embarrassed and saddened with myself. I had become something I never wanted to be. A loser. I was about A hundred pounds, overweight, divorce, and addicted to all manner of vices.

[The Raven]

Oh, man.

[Top Lobster]

F.J. fool says bad joke. Hmm. I thought I was better at hiding this with my jovial demeanor and drive to succeed. But as my cousin pointed out, I wasn't. X.comX.comX.

[The Raven]

That'S my bad. I was trying to find something. I found it.

[Top Lobster]

Rat season says, good reference. Thank you. In a moment of denial, I wanted to tell him where to go. You can go. Arthur deserved to die. F.J. fool. That's heavy, dude. And take it back.

[The Raven]

Back.

[Top Lobster]

Actually, yeah, he kind of did. He was a bad dude. But his next words settled me. Have you smoked weed yet? He's like, hey, all these things that you're doing, real bad. Have you tried weed? Taken off guard. I don't know why, but a calm came over me, and I replayed, well.

[The Raven]

Oh, we.

[Top Lobster]

Oh, you're gonna offer me weed?

[The Raven]

My bad.

[Top Lobster]

I was about to get defensive. I don't know why, but a comm came over me. I replied, no. While I was an avid partaker of spirits, all other drugs were unknown to me. Damn, this guy writes cool. He writes so cool, man. So I hit a bowl for the first time. Twenty minutes later, we were lying in the grass, looking at the stars, listening to music, when I saw her. A fiery woman, not with aggressive flames, but a warm, soft glow. This is interesting. This. This dude just got hit with the.

[Matt]

Supernatural part of the show after three stories. Stories, Dean.

[The Raven]

This is how it goes.

[Top Lobster]

This is typically how it goes. Her embers floated from her and became a part of the starry backdrop. I felt an overwhelming sense of love, and that time was now to make changes in myself. Oh, the time was now to me.

[The Raven]

All right, all right.

[Top Lobster]

Then I watched as the angel. All right, so he's identified it as an angel, joined by a dance partner, performed a routine to Peter Gabriel's in your eyes. This is really a man of culture. This is a. I don't know.

[The Raven]

I don't know any of those.

[Top Lobster]

I don't know what it means. I don't know. The song in your eyes by Peter Gabriel. Never heard of him, but I'm glad. It's beautiful.

[The Raven]

I'm glad he didn't tell us this in person, because I'd be looking. I'm like, I don't really understand.

[Top Lobster]

This is above my pay grade. You're old. Do you know this? Golden grills in your eyes.

[The Raven]

I didn't know that. All right. It's like rich people stuff.

[Top Lobster]

We can't play it because we'll get copyright and. And. And stricken from. From Spotify. Okay, so. Which was playing in the background. With tears in my eyes, I thanked my cousin for speaking with me and vowed that change would happen from this moment forward. I would only smoke weed habitually. No, that's not what he says. He goes second. To my children being born, this moment was the most beautiful thing I had ever experienced. I concede this could have just been a false chemical response of drugs and emotions, but I really experienced a lasting change.

[Narrator/Advertiser]

Do you know what happens when you replace your regular old electric water heater with a new electric heat pump water heater? You boost your savings a lot. In fact, Energy Star estimates that a family of four will save an average of $550 a year on their electric energy bills. And your new heat pump water heater can pay for itself in as little as three years. Level up with a heat pump water heater. Go to levelup my water heater.com to learn more.

[Top Lobster]

I want to stop there for a second because we'd never recommend on this show that anybody does anything because we were talking about this off air before the show started and you said, what is what you always say, I don't know where you're at in your life. So. Meaning, like, we never recommend doing, you know, psychedelics or. Or anything like that because we just don't know who you are as an individual, where you are in your life and what could end up happening where.

[The Raven]

You'Re at geographically, either.

[Top Lobster]

Powers and principalities, Powers and principles. We're not talking about that, Matt. We're talking about.

[Matt]

But smoking people. You would say smoke some weed.

[Top Lobster]

No, that's. Are you listening?

[The Raven]

No, I wouldn't suggest anybody.

[Top Lobster]

We use the word never.

[Matt]

I know, but you're seeing it like people in certain geographic. Or we don't know where.

[Top Lobster]

No, no, no. We're talking about powers and principalities. I don't know what creatures, what spiritual entities reside, where you are. Colin.

[The Raven]

Colin just hit me up again. Again. Has more experiences.

[Top Lobster]

Did you say anything to him?

[Matt]

So we're not just chalking this up, which I think he's gonna get at, but we're not just chalking this up to like, he smoked a ton of weed and it was ended up being a hallucinogen.

[Top Lobster]

I'm not chalking it up.

[The Raven]

I think so. Yeah, I think. But here's the thing, though. Like, sometimes you'll like. So he had an encounter with something wherever he was. But we. We know another dude that did a ton of mushrooms and had an Encounter and then got basically consigned to work for an entity that he doesn't know. And to this day, he still has supernatural, like, weird, like, experimentations. His. His girlfriend, wife, now is having, like.

[Top Lobster]

Visitations to which we would say, never do mushrooms.

[The Raven]

To which I say, I'm not gonna suggest this to anybody because I don't know where you're at in your life or geographically. Like, this dude might have been in the right spot geographically, where something floating by and it helped him out.

[Matt]

I see what you're saying.

[The Raven]

You know, I mean, yeah, like, you're.

[Top Lobster]

Gonna open up the door.

[Matt]

I got boys that did mushrooms and never came back.

[The Raven]

Back. Yeah, dude, It's.

[Top Lobster]

That's why I always say, like, I did mushrooms. I had a very positive experience, and still I don't recommend them for anybody. And I've never done them again since that experience. But, you know, I could see it's making. It's making Matt very.

[Matt]

When you say positive experience, you just mean, like, you walked into somebody's, like, barbecue party and they had, like, 15 hot dogs on the grill, and you just, like, mowed them down. You're like, experience what?

[Top Lobster]

Went to somebody's barbecue and had a reasonable amount of hot dogs. Any adult male would eat in a. In a sitting.

[The Raven]

Unreasonable. How about the last guy?

[Top Lobster]

What is that, two to three hot dogs?

[The Raven]

Here's what I suggest. So I don't know where Jason was at when he did this, but that guy. That was the previous guy, Jake, that lives across from a graveyard.

[Top Lobster]

I don't do, like, anything.

[Matt]

Yeah, anything.

[The Raven]

Don't do psychedelics because something's there.

[Top Lobster]

But don't do low amounts of psychedelics either.

[The Raven]

This is what I believe. I believe, like, you could peel back the veil and. And, like, geographically where you're at. So that's why people go to certain.

[Matt]

Places, do it through.

[The Raven]

Nobody's.

[Top Lobster]

Nobody's advocating for that.

[The Raven]

Okay.

[Matt]

Walk in the spirit.

[The Raven]

Yeah, Yeah.

[Top Lobster]

I don't know. He has this tone where he said.

[Matt]

Advocating, trying to pretend like you're not, but you guys kind of are.

[Top Lobster]

You know, don't do it.

[Matt]

Psychology thing you guys do with this.

[Top Lobster]

And also.

[The Raven]

Well, how do you think we built a studio?

[Top Lobster]

Let me ask. Come on, man. I came to your house, right? If I came to your house and you invited me over for dinner and I brought my own hot dogs, would you be offended?

[The Raven]

He actually did.

[Matt]

Specifically when you come to the house.

[Top Lobster]

I know, but I'm just saying, if there's gonna be a problem with how many hot dogs for you to Say.

[Matt]

It was a good time means you ate a ton of hot dogs.

[Top Lobster]

No, I didn't. That's not what happened.

[Matt]

What was the pleasurable thing on mushrooms then?

[Top Lobster]

It was just that I was having this thought process over and over again. Like I became hyper fixated on why people behave the way that they do. And I started to become the. Become like understanding of the root cause of an individual's behavior and it really alleviated. So it's like you start to see that you start thinking about, like people's negative behavior. Then it's like, well, that comes from this, this and that. Why do people act this way? Well, that I don't know what was giving me that information.

[Matt]

Yeah, I see what you're saying, but.

[Top Lobster]

That'S all that happened.

[The Raven]

All right.

[Top Lobster]

Okay. So the next morning, I felt emotionally lighter. Years of shame, sorrow and regret were gone.

[The Raven]

Wow.

[Top Lobster]

Only love remained, However, I now felt what those mental parasites had done to my body and relationships and the lack of. Of love it caused for me, I guess. Meaning like years of alcohol consumption. What it had done to him. Like many plagued with emotional distress, I turned to the expanse of human knowledge. YouTube. Long story short, I discovered the Nazarite vow. And with that covenant with God, I transformed my relationship with consciousness altering substances. And faith was instilled in me. That was 12 years ago. Interesting. All right, right. Alcohol was the first vice to go. It was instant. By the end of that year, I was completely dry. However, food, caffeine, nicotine, and sex continued to plague me. Dude, food plagues me very much.

[Matt]

So shocked to hear that.

[Top Lobster]

Wait, no.

[The Raven]

Was that too serious?

[Matt]

I didn't mean to do that.

[Top Lobster]

Well, not hot dogs, because I don't think that that's an issue. But like, sweets are a big issue with me. Sugary things. Which is why like before the show, you're like, hey, I'm going to take my phone out and I'm going to look at it during the show and, and know it's very unprofessional. And that's fine. But you offered me like a brownie.

[Matt]

And it was a four ingredient brownie, bro. It was like the healthy.

[Top Lobster]

Yeah, I know, but you can't offer me like a brownie.

[Matt]

No, I'm sorry for taking that shot at you over the food. That was kind of rude.

[Top Lobster]

No, it's, you know, it's fine.

[Matt]

No, you were being like serious and you were like opening up and you felt like we were in the tree of trust. And then I just like cut your.

[Top Lobster]

Never heard that expression, the tree of trust. The tree of trust.

[Matt]

I shouldn't have done that. I'm sorry about that.

[Top Lobster]

All right, I'll let it go. Go this one time. So alcohol was the first. Okay. Sex continued to plague me. I implemented an exercise routine that helped me with my weight at first. But I would overeat and the weight stayed as far as other vices. I wasn't strong enough to let them go yet. As I looked at the calendar, tracking my lack of progress, I finally saw why the angel said now was my time. There it was. Was Jason. But Jason as an acronym, right? J, A, S O, N. Before that, I had never realized these five months of the year for an acronym of my name. What? Five months of the year.

[The Raven]

January, September, October, November.

[Top Lobster]

Oh, that's interesting. But February comes after January. Okay.

[The Raven]

Oh, no.

[Top Lobster]

July. We are totally retarded. That is interesting.

[Matt]

Paying attention right there.

[Top Lobster]

July, August, September, October, November.

[The Raven]

Jason, you were writing to the wrong people. I know that. It looks like we know what we're doing.

[Top Lobster]

Oh, that's fascinating. So he's talking about your time is now.

[The Raven]

He's like. He's like.

[Top Lobster]

He's like, what? Time realize, bro.

[Matt]

This is like what was in the reer? Is he. So the guy said, have you ever had weed? He said, no. So he has no clue if he actually consumed weed. He might have been smoking, he might have been in. Angel was like, oh, cool. You don't know what weed is this? And tell you it's weed? I don't think so.

[Top Lobster]

All right.

[The Raven]

I know you like to get wet.

[Matt]

Charlie Murphy. This is like, on another level.

[Top Lobster]

This doesn't sound like I've actually never heard this. This is fascinating. So January, April, September, Oregon, Nevada. Thank you. Rat season. I also understood completely any fundamental change I made in myself would come to fruition if it was made during the time of Jason with a covenant with God. That's a fascinating and cool concept. Armed with that knowledge, I've been able to overcome many obstacles in my life and stay on the narrow path. Not because I'm scared of hell when I die, because of the hell I live in when I stray.

[Matt]

But did you guys catch that? The Nazari Vow. That's why he's not cutting his hair.

[Top Lobster]

I don't know what that is. I'm very dumb.

[Matt]

It doesn't. There's a lot that goes along with it. One of it. No. Not drinking wine. Not cutting your hair.

[Top Lobster]

Oh, that explains the dreadlock. The dreadlock.

[Matt]

That's what I'm trying to say is so cool. Yeah, that's what that's about.

[The Raven]

A Nazarite vow was a voluntary, temporary, or lifelong separation to God involving abstaining from wine, all products of the vine, never cutting one's hair, and avoiding all contact with dead bodies.

[Top Lobster]

Oh, that's fascinating.

[The Raven]

Dead body.

[Top Lobster]

I was just reading something about.

[The Raven]

You keep any dead bodies in here?

[Matt]

This just got weird.

[Top Lobster]

There's a lot of old people. Actually, you never know because you might just walk in the back and be like, I guess there's one.

[The Raven]

Just drag it out. Whoopsie.

[Top Lobster]

Okay, so.

[The Raven]

David, stop.

[Top Lobster]

I didn't say. So now how I found your show.

[The Raven]

Why can't you touch the dead bodies? It's just unclean.

[Top Lobster]

I don't know. Yeah, well, wasn't there who pulled Jesus's body down from the cross? And he was basically removing. Because he's like.

[The Raven]

Your ceremony prepared him, right?

[Top Lobster]

Yeah, but it was like your ceremonial unclean.

[Matt]

And Joseph of Aramathia. Yeah.

[Top Lobster]

And so he. He was, like, sacrificing quite a bit by going over there and pulling Christ off the cross in regards to his own, like, ability to engage in. In, I don't know, adherence to the Sabbath or whatever. Yeah, yeah, there was.

[Matt]

I don't get down with any of that now, though. I mean, that's not. It's whatever. I mean, Jesus laid hands on. Did he lay hands when he called Nicodemus or, I'm sorry, Lazarus out of the grave? No, he just called him out.

[The Raven]

Did he lay hands on the girl? That was.

[Top Lobster]

Was.

[Matt]

I mean, Paul. Paul definitely went. And the guy who fell out of the. The guy who fell out of the window while Paul was preaching and he fell down dead. You guys know that story in the Book of Acts? And then Paul went and laid hands on and brought him back to life. And Elijah and Elisha prayed for dead people. I don't know. The dead thing is not like.

[Top Lobster]

It's.

[Matt]

Whatever. I wouldn't sweat it.

[Top Lobster]

You have a, like, a tremendous amount of hair coming out of his ear.

[Matt]

That's literally an earplug, bro.

[Top Lobster]

No, no, no, no. Like a roundy.

[The Raven]

That's just when you get older, like, all the.

[Top Lobster]

All the different directions is, like, so much. All right, so now how I found your show. I've been social media and Internet in general celibate since the time of Jason, 2016. I like that. Dude.

[The Raven]

Are we in the time of Jason? We are. We're toward the end of Jason.

[Top Lobster]

We're at the end of the time of Jason, and we're reading a story. Oh, sick.

[The Raven]

Perfect.

[Matt]

This is a Rad story.

[Top Lobster]

I love this, dude. It's been marvelous. This year's time of Jason, I decided to jump back in. Dude, I love that, man.

[The Raven]

Man.

[Top Lobster]

As I miss the community engagement of the.

[The Raven]

That's a new thing. Like, so we got, like, Bla and Guam. Like, it's Jason time.

[Top Lobster]

Oh, we're in the season of Jason in the season. This is interesting. He goes. I miss the community engagement of the niche topic of pre Disney Star Wars Expanded Universe, dude. I was not a Star wars guy, but I was, you know, Like, I looked enough to be like, this is what people like. Like, this is gay. But it was because of what Disney did to it.

[The Raven]

Yeah.

[Top Lobster]

So I was, you know, I didn't really focus on it.

[The Raven]

I mean, that's a good archetypal story. I just.

[Top Lobster]

I like the. The. The Mandalorian was cool, but then that guy turned out to be gay. A friend recommended I listen to the telepathy tapes first thing interesting, because Jedi mind tricks are real now.

[Matt]

Ah, yeah, we know. We deal with that.

[Top Lobster]

I see what you're going here. I couldn't believe what I was hearing. If this is real, why would. Why was no one talking about it? Turns out I was just a year late. Just a year learned. Wait, wait. I was just a year late learning about this. Thank you.

[The Raven]

That.

[Top Lobster]

But it should still be on the news every day.

[The Raven]

You want this guy to read the Bible?

[Top Lobster]

This is interesting.

[The Raven]

These are regular words here.

[Top Lobster]

So. So one time Matt said, you guys don't know anything. Why would you ever go on somebody else's show? And I said, fair.

[Matt]

I did not say it like that. I said, you guys are, like, stupid. You guys are interviewing people about the stuff that they know. You guys aren't like the guys with, like, the thing. You're just like, kind of a little bit. You're dabbling in so many insulting, but fair.

[The Raven]

Well, it's. It's also because David goes, well, I look retired, look bad.

[Top Lobster]

He doesn't like that. He doesn't like.

[The Raven]

No, we're very serious because we know.

[Top Lobster]

And we don't know anything. What do we think we. We think we know.

[The Raven]

What we do know is, like, when we listen to the people that say, these guys are not serious, they don't know anything. We listen. They have holes all in their game. Like, I listen to the shows and I go, what the hell are these guys talking about? They're missing every.

[Matt]

I know. But if you went on the show, you would be so serious and so analytical. You.

[The Raven]

Oh, no, we crush. You'd be like we crush.

[Top Lobster]

Well check this out. In researching. I'm sorry, in researching, I found the NDS commentary, the best, best explanation what was going on and wanted to hear more.

[Matt]

Wait, I'm out of the loop of what's being talked about right now, rightfully so.

[The Raven]

The telepathy tapes.

[Top Lobster]

Oh, we're not going to do this. We can't do this.

[Matt]

There can't be like a 32nd thing.

[Top Lobster]

And then they're inducing autism and having.

[The Raven]

Let me explain.

[Top Lobster]

Nanoparticles of heavy metal cross the blood brain barrier to act as a receiver of frequency. When you cause a state of disassociation, you, you force individuals to recede into this like psychiatric psychic hardwiring that we all have access to into a state.

[The Raven]

Of disassociation where they can't like physically interact with their body and their brain. The kids in the telepathy tapes that it's a show about them telepathically communicating with their mother or someone close to them and.

[Top Lobster]

Or a lesbian.

[The Raven]

Yeah. And I mean there is physical, there's science.

[Matt]

How are they doing it to them?

[Top Lobster]

So there's caused a permanent stain of disassociation.

[The Raven]

This is, this is like burying the lead. But like in the show they have, they have techniques of getting them to read or spell. It's called spelling, which is actually kind of interesting. They'll first like touch the, the kids so that way they could like find where their body is because like I guess in when they have autism in this way their, their spirit or their soul is like detached from their body, floating around it never in tuned. But when they, when the parents or somebody touches them, they're able to have some semblance of like, like where they are. You understand? Yeah, yeah. So the, the telepathy tapes is like just outlining this and like, wow, isn't it fantastic that these kids have telepathy and they kind of like skirt around the idea of whatever the, whatever happened with the vaccine schedule. And I mean like it's intense. 72 now they want for kids. And so we started looking at it through that way and then that leads you down the rabbit hole of MK Ultra and Andreja Puharich. And it's like it's a straight direct line of what they've been trying to do from, from dental tooth implants with heavy metal in them in order to send waves to someone's brain. This is a patent that was developed by this guy in the 1950s all the way to now heavy metals injected into the bloodstream. And now you have these Kids, they've been trying to do this forever. They figured it out and they've done it nationwide. And then they put out a fluff piece with the telepathy tapes and they're like, look at how great this is. It's a blessing. But we're looking at. And we're like, no, no, this is the Tower of Babel. These guys were communicating through telepathy, most likely. And God put a nix on that. This is not human development. This is like a step backward.

[Top Lobster]

It's crazy. You know, there's a guy on the show, his name is Pastor Joe and Frank.

[The Raven]

This is another big like, like red flag for these people.

[Top Lobster]

He said that in the telepathy tapes, which is, you know, this huge podcast, they cut out a ton of stuff. The stuff that they cut out was all these kids, these non verbal autistic kids, figuring out a way to express that they were communicating with Jesus and they removed all of that. Now, whether or not that's actually what's happening is a different question. But why the hell would they remove that component? They only want you to see it through, like this new age thing. This idea that like autism is the next stage of development.

[The Raven]

These kids are in what we would describe. See, this is like so many people talk about this, like shout out blurry creatures. They follow me. But whatever. You missed it. They had that guy on. Yeah, they completely missed it, but. So they had this guy on and. And he's describing this. And I was like, hey, these kids are operating in the astral because they have no choice. They can't really operate in the physical. They can't communic, but they're talking with each other in the astral. And this is like a well documented phenomenon that's across the nation across, like probably across the world. These kids are talking to each other. It's.

[Top Lobster]

But we have the best explanation on.

[The Raven]

We do have the best explanation on it because we actually looked at it.

[Top Lobster]

Who is learned, who's learned and. And speaks very well means. And.

[Matt]

And you just laid out.

[The Raven]

It is hard to talk about. Yeah.

[Top Lobster]

It takes literally we.

[Matt]

Telepathy. The telepathy thing is a weird one, dude.

[Top Lobster]

It's a super weird one. It's how these entities, whenever you have like some demonic encounter, it's always telepathically.

[The Raven]

Well, how is Daniel? How is. How was Gabriel communicating with Daniel? Like, do you think he was talking physically or, like, probably directly?

[Matt]

I don't know. We talked about it before, like in a dream or something. When you're looking at someone and then boom. It's just known.

[Top Lobster]

Yeah, yeah.

[Matt]

We didn't say words, but it's just known.

[Top Lobster]

Exactly. It's like that. That's how things communicate in the spiritual.

[The Raven]

But.

[Top Lobster]

But spoken word is an important thing. I mean, it's like, yeah, you speak it.

[The Raven]

Yeah. Yes.

[Top Lobster]

And it happens in the spiritual and manifest in reality.

[Matt]

Told Daniel, I came for your words.

[Top Lobster]

Yeah.

[Matt]

I think that they engaged with words.

[Top Lobster]

So that's why when they're telling you, like, this is the next stage in human development, like, no, it's not.

[The Raven]

Well, there's also something about, like, I don't know if these. The spiritual entities can really speak in words. So it gets even deeper when you're talking about vibration and frequency. That's what created the world. When God, like in the. The Book of Genesis, the very beginning, God is speaking the Word into the world, into existence. It's his. It's his words. And it's like vibrating. Creating.

[Top Lobster]

God is the Word.

[The Raven]

When we speak, like, it sounds new Agey, but like, we speak, our words are. This is all vibration and frequency. That's how you're perceiving it. That's how our vocal cords are doing whatever. And that is having some sort of an effect on everything around us. These spiritual entities seem to have lost that. That gift. And they, they, they communicate. I don't know, but they communicate with you in your mind. And then you kind of have to be a medium for them to then say this, because there's something powerful about speaking and prophesying, like speaking it out loud. You're saying this thing, but if you.

[Top Lobster]

Could strip the world, gay people would.

[The Raven]

Call it manifesting, but I think that there's something to it.

[Top Lobster]

But if you can strip our understanding of the spiritual realm, every time something speaks to you telepathically, you go, oh, wow.

[The Raven]

How cool is that?

[Top Lobster]

Profound. This must be some ascended master, something I should learn from. It's like, no, no, that's a.

[The Raven]

It's a. It's a trick. It's a. It's like a party trick.

[Matt]

The devil took Jesus up to the top of the. The pinnacle of the temple, and he also took him up to a high mountain and showed him all the kingdoms in the world in a moment of time. So, like, yeah, all spiritual, like, experiences are not from God.

[Top Lobster]

That's right. And that's what. Well, that's the problem, though is, like, once you convince. You get into this materialistic paradigm and you convince us that that stuff doesn' happen, then when it does happen, you. You have nothing to Anchor on.

[Matt]

To which I don't think anything. What I just said was profound to anybody here. They're probably like, yeah, no kidding, Matt.

[Top Lobster]

That was good, though.

[Matt]

You'd be surprised in church circles. No, I'm just saying, in church circles, you hear the craziest stories.

[Top Lobster]

Oh, he's doing the time travel.

[Matt]

No, no, you're like, yo, that's not a good. Like the. The vision that you're saying you had. Whether you had it or not, that's another discussion for another time. But let's say you did have it. That's not a good vision. Like, that's not a good thing that you explain. No, they say people are like, oh, spiritual experience. Must be from God, must be good.

[The Raven]

Well, diversity in the spiritual realm is like. It's. This is what we're also trying to lay out. It's like, you don't know what you're dealing with there. You could even just be talking to an autistic kid.

[Matt]

That's why I like humans. And you're always like, you know, you gotta flex on people.

[Top Lobster]

Don't want to be friends with them people.

[Matt]

I'm well aware there's so much stuff in the spirit realm. And I see a human, I'm like, dude, we're buddies. Like, we have something in common. We're both human flesh. Why I have something in common with everybody I talk. Talk to. You're like, no, don't look at where you from, dog. Don't look at him from Livermore.

[Top Lobster]

You know what it is? We'll take Matt to New York City and we'll say, hey, Matt, let's try to get something done today.

[The Raven]

Hey, Matt, let's talk to the vagrants.

[Top Lobster]

Nope, gotta stop at this vagrant. Gotta stop at this vagrant. We're like, but, Matt, we're supposed to be at the wax museum. Matt.

[The Raven]

I've been stabbed 17 times. Matt. Can we please get Matt.

[Top Lobster]

Madam Tussauds, what are we doing? They're like, no, we've got a gang of hobos.

[The Raven]

Hamilton, dog.

[Top Lobster]

Anyway, but this is why people don't invite us on our show, because we have nothing of value. You quite empty in researching. I found NDS commentary to be the best explanation what's going on and wanted to hear more. So I listened to a more recent episode with Matt to find out this was happening in my backyard after being on the Internet for less than a month.

[The Raven]

Imagine my shock.

[Top Lobster]

That's pretty powerful, actually. Less than a month after how many years of a hiatus from the Internet and less than a Month he finds out that this show is happening in his backyard. Was God nudging me. He didn't have to send an angel of virtue as he did to Fazio. Did I pronounce that right? For motivation.

[Matt]

I think it's pronounced Fazzy bear.

[Top Lobster]

Fozzie Bear. For motivation at the start of his journey.

[The Raven]

I don't know what these words mean.

[Top Lobster]

I ain't going to try to read that. He's trying to make me sound stupid because he knows I'm gonna mess that word up.

[The Raven]

As he did the Fazio. For motivation at the start of his journey. Li ditamondo. I don't see he's so smart.

[Top Lobster]

He's speaking.

[Matt]

Only people that watch Hamilton would understand.

[The Raven]

I don't. I don't get it. And I. I know every word of.

[Top Lobster]

Hamilton as he sent to me high as giraffe. But whoa. Lying on my cousin's lawn. After listening to Matt's second podcast, I knew I wanted to read and understand the Bible. He was the coolest dude.

[Matt]

I don't know about that part, but if some. If I say some words and then it makes you say, I want to understand the Bible. That's like the highest honors.

[Top Lobster]

You could get a nice thing when people say it. So accept a compliment.

[The Raven]

What's wrong with David then? You said a lot of words to David and he still doesn't have that inclination.

[Top Lobster]

What was the inclination?

[Matt]

I don't know. That's why. And he goes, oh, I can'.

[Top Lobster]

Read.

[Matt]

And yet he's just reading paragraph after paragraph right here.

[Top Lobster]

I was visibly. Because. Because honestly, I'm going to be real with you. This is the only way I could read.

[Matt]

Okay, then get the Bible on a thing.

[The Raven]

Like he did it last time. He did it last time and he almost passed out. He tried to read the Bible by himself.

[Top Lobster]

I was like, you have two years ago.

[Matt]

You have to. I'll read with you. I'll sit down and do a one on one Bible study with you.

[Top Lobster]

Stop.

[The Raven]

Do with toad. Do with toad.

[Matt]

Both of you guys need 100 do.

[Top Lobster]

I was visibly nervous. Adrenaline pumping.

[The Raven]

I shut up, David. I produce it.

[Matt]

I'm down, bro.

[The Raven]

Okay.

[Matt]

I don't think it'd be that exciting, but I would do it.

[The Raven]

It would be.

[Top Lobster]

My hand's shaking. So the card reader didn't work at first when I put my card down. Now he was nervous like that. When he was in the standard coffee shop that has excellent.

[The Raven]

That's what you see the face he's.

[Top Lobster]

Doing right now look like that.

[Matt]

I would have never Thought anything.

[Top Lobster]

He was like, I came here second.

[Matt]

I met this dude. I was like, bro, what's up?

[Top Lobster]

Oh, my God. Get Matt to watch Dustin Nemos.

[The Raven]

I wonder if you like Dustin Nemo.

[Top Lobster]

Dustin hit me up recently, and then he added me to a. A Jew Watchers chat, which I promptly left because he wants to fulfill Obadiah 18 or something like that. So, okay. His card reader didn't work because he was nervous. I had maybe said the name of Jesus five times in my life and always in vain, yet I was about to engage with a total stranger on the topic. Matt was super chill and looked really mad, but he also noticed how jacked I was. Hell, yeah. And he didn't draw attention. Oh.

[Matt]

Oh, how?

[Top Lobster]

I thought you meant, like, he was muscular. Because he will say. Say that. I've heard, like, one time, Matt was like, dude, you look jacked.

[Matt]

He's like, dude, say that to people if they're taking.

[Top Lobster]

But then I realized you said it to, like, everybody. No, like, everybody. You're like, dude, you look muscular.

[Matt]

People that are in good shape. I say that to my.

[Top Lobster]

But I think it just means, like, nervous. You. You noticed how nervous he was. You didn't draw attention.

[Matt]

He was cool right away.

[Top Lobster]

He's super cool. He told me to take a Bible with me, so Matt gave me my first Bible. He even introduced me to Stephen from Biblical Hitman when I was there. You're a nice guy like that. You do bring people together. You got a unique thing about you.

[Matt]

But that's always brought Steven from Biblical Hitman here. That was the day he came here first and then went to the other.

[Top Lobster]

Yeah, but we kind of bring Stephen and we go, like, here, Steven, like, when he introduces people, he's like, you come closer.

[Matt]

You are totally like that now.

[Top Lobster]

He's totally like, no, I know.

[Matt]

You haven't seen him lately, dude. He's like. He's running. Remember he used to run from people? He's running to people.

[The Raven]

You know who he ran from?

[Top Lobster]

Who?

[The Raven]

Jason.

[Top Lobster]

In the beginning, Jason said he saw.

[Matt]

You had to drag him back in.

[Top Lobster]

No, this is what Jason said. Jason said now he saw you, but you were with your families and you were headed the other direction. So I let you guys go. And then we came back and hung with Jason. It was dope.

[The Raven]

Oh, dude. The amount of. What is it? Coercion?

[Top Lobster]

It wasn't any coercion to get him.

[Matt]

To come say when you. In the beginning it was miserable. Now somebody's there, and they're like, hey, I saw you on the Podcast. And then I look over and the raven's over here. And he's just like this.

[The Raven]

No, do his head thing. He starts like.

[Matt]

He starts like he's getting ready to get.

[Top Lobster]

The coercion is like. He's like, let's go and see him right now. I'm like, we're here ordering breakfast. He's like, let's go and see him right now. I'm like, we're here. And he goes, let's go and see him afterwards. I go, okay, we had just stepped.

[The Raven]

Foot out the door, but please continue.

[Top Lobster]

I've been playing in God's game my entire life. Guess I'd better read the instruction manual Based. Better late than never. I figured out a lot on my own, but I'm really looking forward to learning and absorbing the knowledge of and fellowship held in that shop. Glad I found you. Glad I found you. This is the gayest sentence I've wrote about three dudes, but truth. That's awesome. Very gay, Jason. But I love it. I appreciate it. He says, thanks, guys. Keep up the great work. Nancy, who is not here right now. That's a nice shout out for Nancy.

[The Raven]

Thank you.

[Top Lobster]

That was a banger of a story.

[The Raven]

That was a great story.

[Top Lobster]

That was a great story.

[The Raven]

I really enjoyed that. I think we should wrap it up because I don't know where my wife is.

[Top Lobster]

An hour and 40 minutes. My wife have hour and 40 minutes.

[The Raven]

But before we wrap it, let's play. I want. I want Matt to listen to this.

[Matt]

Oh, boy. No, no. I think I've seen some of this before.

[The Raven]

You've seen this?

[Matt]

I think we just show.

[Top Lobster]

We've shown this on the show so many times. We'll show them off the air.

[The Raven]

We'll show you off air. All right.

[Matt]

We're gonna watch anything. It's got to be the Toad with the Blink 182 song.

[Top Lobster]

That's it.

[Matt]

J.

[Top Lobster]

No, we're not gonna watch.

[The Raven]

Sound like Owen. You just played Owen. Oh, my God.

[Top Lobster]

No, no. That's not what's happening here. All right, well, guys, come and see us at the Standard coffee shop. We are here. And the reason I say that is because. What was his name? We just had a really super cool homie show up.

[The Raven]

I didn't mean him.

[Top Lobster]

Chad was not.

[The Raven]

I met him for a second.

[Matt]

Dylan.

[Top Lobster]

Dylan. Good memory, man. Shout out to Dylan. Who is showing up here.

[Matt]

Yeah, because they're just numbers to you, man.

[Top Lobster]

That's not true.

[Matt]

Digits to me, they're human beings.

[Top Lobster]

I'm trying to do it. I'm Trying to do.

[Matt]

What's up, man?

[The Raven]

I'm trying to be a reasonable Patreon member around.

[Top Lobster]

No, Dylan said that you inspired him with your read the Bible for an hour a day thing, and he literally decided to show up here and do that. So when we walked in, Dylan is sat there reading a Bible. Eventually shows up over to us and goes, yo, fans of what you guys are doing, you know what? Because of it.

[The Raven]

When I walked in to the shop.

[Top Lobster]

Oh, yeah, Top walked and he went.

[The Raven]

I, no, no, no. I saw him there and I, I looked at him and I said, what's up, man?

[Top Lobster]

Because he looks like an NDS fan.

[The Raven]

You look a little. Yeah, yeah.

[Top Lobster]

No, you look like an NBS fan. You look like you do spice.

[The Raven]

Are you okay? I just said, hey, what's up? And he said, what's up? And I was like, I don't want to be the guy to be like, you know me.

[Top Lobster]

No, no.

[The Raven]

But like that.

[Matt]

Just talk to people, bro. What's up? What are you doing?

[Top Lobster]

You don't understand. Some people don't want that. They don't want to be bothered.

[Matt]

Yeah, most people do, though.

[Top Lobster]

That's the case. I don't think that most people want to be bothered.

[The Raven]

How do you talk to people? How do you. You open up the conversation. Where are you from? Livermore.

[Matt]

No, I don't say Livermore, but are you from California? Because nobody here is from here. So that's always a nice starting point. And then you just start talking. See how much they want to talk. If they don't want to talk, then, yeah, you back off. You're right.

[The Raven]

They just pour them. Coughing.

[Matt]

But a lot of times people are lonely, bro, because they play games on phones and screens and they don't really have human interactions. Basically, like the race.

[Top Lobster]

This is not how I'm trying to end this. I'm trying to end this by saying to people that it's really cool the community that is developing in this place. What do you say? The standard is only a nine hour drive. I'm gonna hitchhike over there. To what? I thought that was a though not with.

[The Raven]

Oh, do you have any two dollar coffee? I think you do you have like the small hot coffee.

[Top Lobster]

No, dude, it's 2025 super chat right now. Yeah. What? No, we're on Patreon. That's Z Man. Z Man deserves free coffee. Z Man actually runs our telegram.

[Matt]

I do have a two dollar coffee.

[Top Lobster]

Z Man's not allowed to listen to us anymore because they told the entire entire building that headphones anymore inflation. So if he is listening to us, he's listening to us on a.

[The Raven]

Well, we know a guy that could put a chip in your tooth or.

[Top Lobster]

A chip in your head, just go straight to your head. Or we could just vaccine up. Anyway, guys, we weren't gonna have to edit it.

[The Raven]

Now, the whole bit of. Do you see the whole bit about the Telepathy tapes, it's very serious, but it just. That simply cannot go on, you know?

[Top Lobster]

And we simply can't explain it in. In a.

[The Raven]

Because we're pointing at. We're pointing at the Pfizer rep. Yeah, that guy. And saying, we know what you're doing.

[Top Lobster]

He doesn't know what he's doing. He has no idea.

[The Raven]

I know. He doesn't know. He's too tall.

[Top Lobster]

Guys, come to the standard coffee shop, come hang. Come be a part of this really cool thing that's happening.

[The Raven]

That's right.

[Top Lobster]

Take a picture in the thing.

[The Raven]

Now watch our lackluster outro. Sam.