In this deeply honest episode of Never Perfect Faith, Dr. Beth sits down with Doug Lynam, a former Marine, former monk, financial advisor, and spiritual thinker—to talk about doubt, deconstruction, spiritual trauma, and rebuilding faith from the ground up.

Doug shares his journey from evangelical Christianity to agnosticism, from the Marines to 20 years in a Catholic monastery—and the painful unraveling that followed. Together, Dr. Beth and Doug explore unhealthy or toxic Christianity, spiritual ego, tribalism, and why faith must mature beyond rigid rule-following if it’s going to survive real life.

They also talk about the dark night of the soul, projection, judgment, grace, and how spiritual growth often follows the pattern: order → disorder → reorder.

This conversation is thoughtful, vulnerable, and refreshingly nuanced.

In this episode, you’ll learn

How spiritual trauma and abuse can distort our image of God
What “sin” originally meant—and why that’s actually hopeful
How we project our parental wounds onto God
The difference between tribal religion and mature spirituality
Why deconstruction doesn’t have to mean abandoning faith
How prayer, nature, contemplation, and gratitude can reconnect us
What it means to move from believing in God “out there” to experiencing God “within”

If you’ve ever felt disillusioned by Christians… hurt by the church… or confused by your own doubts, this episode is a reminder that faith isn’t about perfection, performance, or pretending certainty.

It’s a journey.And sometimes falling apart is the most faithful step forward.

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When Faith Falls Apart: Dark Nights, Doubt & Finding God Again with Doug Lynam