Podcast Summary

Podcast: New Books Network
Host: Dr. Miranda Melcher
Guest: Dr. Julia H. Meszaros
Episode: Julia H. Meszaros, "Economies of Gender: Masculinity, 'Mail Order Brides,' and Women’s Labor" (Rutgers UP, 2025)
Date: January 12, 2026

Episode Overview

This episode features Dr. Julia H. Meszaros discussing her book, "Economies of Gender: Masculinity, 'Mail Order Brides,' and Women’s Labor." The conversation explores the international dating industry, specifically the "mail order bride" phenomenon. Dr. Meszaros analyzes this industry’s intersections with global economics, gender roles, migration, and the commodification of intimacy, using extensive ethnographic research across the Philippines, Ukraine, and Colombia. The episode provides both theoretical insights and real-world examples, shedding light on how masculinity, femininity, labor, and economic value are constructed and negotiated within the industry.

Key Themes and Discussion Points

1. Origins and Research Scope [(02:09)-(05:27)]

• Dr. Meszaros became interested in the mail order bride industry during graduate school, inspired by media portrayals and a seminar by the company A Foreign Affair.
• Her research spans 15 years, with fieldwork as a participant-observer on romance tours in Colombia, Ukraine, and the Philippines.
• She examined both the American-based agencies and their partnerships with local matchmakers in various countries, investigating how culture, economics, and gender interplay in these relationships.

Quote:
"A lot of the other books...had focused either on Asian women or Latina women. And so I thought it might be interesting to see kind of what draws people to different regions of the world and why."
— Dr. Julia Meszaros [03:07]

2. Research Methods [(05:43)-(10:19)]

• Participation in romance tours: group trips where western men are introduced to women for potential marriage.
• Long-term observation: following tour participants’ relationships over years via social media.
• Engagement with industry professionals: attending matchmaker conferences to see variations in practice outside A Foreign Affair.

Quote:
"Romance tour...is where they get a group of guys together, typically from Western countries, mostly American, and they go to a place like Ukraine or the Philippines. And it's an organized set of introduction[s]…"
— Dr. Julia Meszaros [05:46]

3. Key Theoretical Concepts: Heteromasculinity and Femininity Capital [(10:19)-(12:32)]

• Heteromasculinity: Focuses on men whose masculinity is intertwined with access to women’s labor, distinct from queer masculinities.
• Femininity Capital: Femininity as a form of economic and social capital, requiring substantial labor (appearance, child-rearing, domestic work).
• Gender performance is viewed as a form of labor — emphasizing the invisible work behind "femininity."

Quote:
"I really wanted to show that I think gender is not just an outcome of performances, but these performances are based in a type of work and labor."
— Dr. Julia Meszaros [11:32]

4. Gendered Labor and Economic Trade-offs [(12:32)-(19:03)]

• Western men's dissatisfaction with local (US/Western) women centers around expectations: reluctance around domestic labor, less "traditional" femininity, prioritizing careers.
• Men express explicit motivations for seeking abroad women: desires for "feminine" labor, trophy-wife status, and feeling more masculine.
• The international dating industry is conceptualized in economic terms — men view relationships as market transactions where money and status can be exchanged for youth, beauty, and traditional labor.

Quote:
"A lot of them took a very market-based approach to romance...they can engage in what I call this kind of global arbitrage."
— Dr. Julia Meszaros [17:44]

5. Country-Specific Dynamics

a. The Philippines [(19:03)-(23:13)]

• The Philippines is popular due to English proficiency (a legacy of US colonization), prior military ties, extreme poverty, and cultural openness to migration.
• High success rate of marriages; few reported divorces among follow-up cases — possibly related to conservative cultural values and the illegal status of divorce.

Quote:
"From what I've seen, I've still not really seen any divorces...even the ones with large age gaps are still together."
— Dr. Julia Meszaros [22:25]

b. Ukraine [(23:13)-(25:13)]

• Popularity linked to post-Soviet region becoming accessible, preference for white women, and less visible "foreignness."
• Stereotypes of Slavic beauty play a central role in desirability.
• The ongoing conflict (war) is reshaping how the industry operates, restricting large group tours but not ending online interactions.

c. Colombia [(25:13)-(27:32)]

• Seen as exciting due to cultural stereotypes ("passionate Latina"), dangerous allure, and increased tourism.
• Geographic proximity to the US is a practical advantage.
• Gentrification and tourism have impacted local dynamics; men often consider retiring in Colombia.

6. Marriage Outcomes and Relationship Trajectories [(27:32)-(32:14)]

• In the Philippines: fast-moving engagements and stable marriages.
• In Ukraine and Colombia: more gradual courtship, multiple trips required, and higher rates of subsequent divorce.
• Some anecdotes: a Ukrainian woman divorcing an abusive husband (with tragic aftermath), men relocating permanently to Colombia after failed marriages.

Quote:
"By the end of the [Philippines] tour, 12 men were formally engaged. That is unusual...most of the other countries, I saw maybe one engagement on a tour."
— Dr. Julia Meszaros [27:52]

7. Overlap with Sex Tourism and Expatriation [(32:14)-(34:39)]

• Many men on romance tours also participated in sex tourism or considered retirement in the countries visited.
• Motivations are not neatly separated — finding a partner, seeking sex, and looking for a place to retire often intertwine.
• The industry caters disproportionately to older men seeking economic advantage.

Quote:
"A lot of times these guys...overlap between sex tourism, trying to find a legitimate partner, maybe even trying to retire in the country...where their money would go further."
— Dr. Julia Meszaros [33:36]

8. Contemporary Changes: War in Ukraine and Industry Adaptation [(34:57)-(38:06)]

• The war in Ukraine has stopped group romance tours but not all matchmaking (individual tours via Poland, increase in online-only communication).
• Local Ukrainian matchmakers have become refugees themselves, raising new questions about how the industry continues.
• Approximately 90% of the industry is already digital; wartime conditions are accelerating trends toward online matchmaking.

Quote:
"They are still doing individual tours...The industry would point out itself that 90% of these guys actually never go in person. So 90% of this industry is actually online."
— Dr. Julia Meszaros [37:06]

Notable Quotes & Timestamps

• On the commodification of intimacy:
  "How does this industry commodify different types of intimacy, and what does that mean in a larger global economic setting?" — Dr. Julia Meszaros [04:16]

• On gendered expectations and global ‘arbitrage’:
  "They thought if they had more money that they would be able to access the kind of women that they were attracted to...they can engage in what I call this kind of like global arbitrage."
  — Dr. Julia Meszaros [17:44]

• On the persistent overlap with sex tourism:
  "You can't really necessarily separate these different groups of tourists, whether they're sex tourists or international dating tourists. A lot of times those things overlap."
  — Dr. Julia Meszaros [32:23]

Memorable Moments

• Learning of improbable marriage outcomes: a Ukrainian woman’s tragic divorce saga and a man’s permanent relocation to Colombia following marital failure [30:10–32:14].
• The striking statistic that in the Philippines, nearly two-thirds of romance tour participants became engaged within days — a pattern not observed elsewhere [27:52].
• The adaptation of Ukraine-based matchmaking during wartime, with local matchmakers themselves becoming refugees and the industry's shift toward remote interactions [34:57–38:06].

Suggested Next Steps

While Dr. Meszaros continues to follow industry changes amid the war in Ukraine, listeners interested in a comprehensive, globally comparative analysis of the mail order bride phenomenon — blending economic, gender, and migration studies — should consult her book, "Economies of Gender."

Guest’s Final Words:
"I hope the audience will be interested in learning more and pick up the book, which is available at any bookseller."
— Dr. Julia Meszaros [38:32]