Best Of | Random Moments | Happy 4th

Summary

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New Rory & Mal — "Best Of | Random Moments | Happy 4th"

Podcast: New Rory & Mal
Hosts: Rory & Maul (with Damaris)
Date: July 3, 2026
Episode Theme:
A “best of” collection, this episode is a wild, hilarious ride through new stories, random debates, and spontaneous hot takes. The trio reminisces on old internet gems, navigates awkward relationships, and indulges in battles of wit, poetry, and rap — all with their signature blend of chaos and camaraderie.

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1. Paternity Paranoia, “Blessings”, and Baby Drama

Timestamps: 02:39–06:22

• Debate: What happens if you’ve been raising a baby for months, only to learn it’s not yours?
• Maul: “That’s the blessing. Give me my money. … I need all that back. Yeah. I need all of that back.” (03:17)
• Rory questions compassion vs. technicality in such discoveries: “You was at the hospital, Carl.” (03:39)
• Discussion spirals humorously into the absurdity of referring to a child as “another man’s nut.”
  • Rory: “That is the sickest thing I’ve ever heard a child be referred to in my life.” (04:44)
• Consensus: Few months in, most would dip; older child, harder to detach.

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2. Magic City Merch & Money Mishaps

Timestamps: 06:22–10:16

• The crew jokes about buying Magic City strip club merch — a rite of passage in hip hop culture.
  • Maul: “That’s culture D. … A lot of records came out of Magic City.” (07:36)
• Expense Reports: Rory exposes his own questionable credit card charge at a sex shop. Accountant’s dedication is real:
  • Rory: “Bro, I don’t judge you on anything. Trust. I’ve seen just about everything.” (09:45)
  • The team guesses what possibly cost Rory $374 at a sex store (hints: lube, handcuffs, maybe a sex swing?).

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3. Damaris’ Legendary Facebook Rap Battle

Timestamps: 12:01–24:18

• Discovery of an old Damaris rap video roasting “Derek”.
  • Rory: “There is a video from 13 years ago of Damaris rapping about a gentleman, barring Derek the fuck up.” (13:49)
• Play-by-play breakdown and ridicule of the fit, background, and Damaris’ hard bars.
  • Rory: “You was 100 Crip. I could tell by everything you had on in that video… you was definitely running around in red leather.” (12:01)
• Damaris details the intense Facebook typing battles and the moment things got too personal.
  • Damaris: “He might have called, like, my rap stiff or something, and I just... I took it…” (17:29)
• Hilarious analysis of the video: stiff hair, Harry Potter posters, and the eventual cessation of the beef (Derek never responded).
• Maul, summing up the era: “You gave him one eye. You ain’t even giving both of the bang.” (18:18)
• Group jokes about forming a trio: “Triple Ds — Damaris, Darnell and Derek.” (19:32)

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4. Private Pics and Nudes (the Double Standard)

Timestamps: 22:22–24:34

• The group discusses the ethics of leaking nudes—specifically, women sneak-snapping pics of men’s butts after sex.
  • Damaris: “Because we know that it's a vulnerable spot for you. Wow, you're vulnerable.” (22:57)
• The gendered nature of "revenge" images and what counts as a nude for men.

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5. Sexual Quirks, Socks, and the “Lust Demon”

Timestamps: 24:38–39:52

• Socks vs. Sex:
  • Does wearing socks affect orgasms? (A “study” says yes; everyone jokes about it.)
  • Rory: “I’ve nutted in Timbs.” (25:20)
• Controlling Lust: Money-saving benefits of fighting off temptation when going out.
  • Maul: “Say no to that lust demon three days out the week and watch how much money you save.” (38:59)
  • Rory: "The only thing stopping y’all from getting a down payment on a house is whore." (39:13)
• Full comedic deep-dive into how a single night out can drain a bank account when hormones are in charge.

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6. Dating, Speed Dating, and Rizz Offs

Timestamps: 44:02–52:15

• Damaris and Maul roleplay speed dating scenarios, with Maul taking a “direct” approach (favorite position, spit or swallow).
  • Damaris: “I think you're a serial killer and I think I'm okay. But I did enjoy this time with you. You were funny.” (46:54)
• Rory and Damaris exchange mock flirtations, highlighting awkward speed date competitiveness.
• Rory: “I was using that ‘I feel like we’ve known each other’ line before it was mainstream.” (51:47)

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7. Friends, Relationships, and “Old Hands”

Timestamps: 52:52–90:09

• Jokes about bringing partners around friends; discussions about boundaries and “friends with bad reputations”.
• Long riff about women aging, wrinkly hands, foreheads, and the “tells” of cosmetic surgery.
  • Damaris: “Chunkier faces look younger.” (88:58)

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8. Egg Freezing & “Pod Baby” Schemes

Timestamps: 90:43–97:00

• Damaris considers freezing her eggs and tries (jokingly) to solicit Rory’s or Maul’s sperm for longer shelf life.
  • Damaris: “Will one of y’all fertilize, like, half of them?” (91:35)
• Hilarious negotiation: who gets parental custody depending on the baby’s sex.
  • If it’s a girl, Damaris raises her; if a boy, Maul’s up for it—until both consider becoming absentee parents.

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9. Long-lost Siblings, Deadbeat Dads & Family Ties

Timestamps: 107:34–117:27

• What if you suddenly find out at 25 you have a long-lost kid?
  • Maul: “25 years old and you... I'm not your dad. ...I mean, me and your moms may have hooked up, but I ain't your dad, though.” (109:30)
• Damaris and Rory prod Maul about potential “secret” kids, and the difficulty of navigating reconnecting adulthood.
• Maul struggles with the concept of meeting his “thot daughter” at 25 and jokes about OnlyFans.
  • Maul: “I see the OnlyFans symbol, I don't know if I'm speaking to her anymore.” (116:14)

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10. Beanie Sigel Nicknames: “Space Cakes”

Timestamps: 118:03–123:11

• Rory asks why Beanie Sigel calls Maul “Space Cakes.”
  • Maul tells an epic story about accidentally eating two weed brownies at Thanksgiving, being high for four days, and the nickname sticking.
  • Maul: “I have not eaten a single brownie since that day.” (123:35)

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11. Studio Days, Kanye West, and Durango Boots

Timestamps: 125:32–129:49

• Reminiscing odd moments in early hip hop: Kanye’s bold fashion risks.
  • Maul: “The first time I saw Kanye, he had on a leather motorcycle jacket and some Durango boots.” (125:49)
  • Jokes about the courage it took to wear those among “reformed drug dealers”.

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12. Dating Older, DMs from “Unk-nim”, and Internet Aunties

Timestamps: 130:13–141:59

• Damaris gets comically detailed about the age spectrum of available bachelors and the onslaught of auntie/uncle energy in her DMs.
  • Damaris: "There are parties that exist...I’m not going somewhere I can’t sit down." (83:57, also 141:42)
  • She muses about possibly marrying an older, more stable “unk” — construction/hvac worker and all.

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13. Spoken Word Love & The “Unfortunately, I’m Taken” Saga

Timestamps: 131:08–134:46

• Listener Jarvis leaves a deeply poetic voicemail for Damaris.
  • Damaris: “Unfortunately for you, I am in a relationship. Fortunately for me, I’m very happy.” (133:30)
• Maul: “Don’t be writing no poem back. He don’t need a poem back, sir. Jarvis, thank you. … Don’t want no poems from no man.” (134:09)

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14. Classic Podcast Closer: Gray Hairs, Hospital Pudding, and Sex Smells

Timestamps: 141:42–144:44

• Damaris finds her first gray hair; Maul describes his early job working in a hospital dietary wing — “serving pudding and walking in on co-workers.”
• Hilarious recounting of the first time smelling someone else’s post-sex bedroom air.
  • Damaris: “The first time I smell somebody else’s sex… I was changed. Forever changed.” (143:48)

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Notable Quotes

• On baby paternity disputes:
  • Maul: “That’s the blessing. Give me my money.” (03:17)
• On awkward childhood videos:
  • Rory: “You was 100 Crip. I could tell by everything you had on in that video.” (12:01)
  • Damaris: “If embarrassing had a definition. This, this.” (18:48)
• On lust and money:
  • Maul: “The only thing stopping y’all from getting a down payment on a house is whore.” (39:13)
• On old hands:
  • Rory: “Big foreheads, wrinkly hands.” (90:20)
• On age and partners:
  • Damaris: “It’s two sets of [men] that are 30 or three—one is gay, one is already married, … I might need to be with [someone] that’s 47.” (138:14)
• On relationships and speed-dating:
  • Maul: “No one’s honest at a speed date. We got 60 seconds to lie.” (46:39)

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Summary & Takeaway

This “Best Of” episode is a window into the effortlessly chaotic chemistry of Rory, Maul, and Damaris. From discussions on modern dating woes and financial self-sabotage to dissecting their own embarrassing internet histories, the trio keeps the energy high and the laughs constant. There are playful rap and poetry battles, musings on responsible parenting (and how not to do it), and an endless parade of one-liners and roasting.

If you’ve never listened, expect:

• Raw honesty on sex, dating, and adulthood.
• Playful, self-deprecating nostalgia (including Damaris’s legendary rap takedown).
• Relatable debates around money, lust, responsibilities, and growing up.
• Unpredictable pivots between thoughtful advice and wild tangents.

The vibe: A group chat on full blast in podcast form, with all the humor, heart, and mayhem that fans love.

Transcript

[Damaris]

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[Maul]

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[Rory]

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[Colin Coward]

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[Maul]

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[Rory]

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[Colin Coward]

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[Rory]

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[Colin Coward]

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[Damaris]

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[Maul]

Bonjour, monjour.

[Damaris]

I'm traveling with my Wells Fargo Autograph Journey card, so I earn rewards wherever I book. Travel five times points with hotels, four times with airlines, three times on restaurants and other travel, and one point on other purchases. Phew. That was a lot. I need to lie down. Is the room Ready?

[Rory]

Visit wells Fargo.com autographjourney Terms apply.

[Daniel Cormier]

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[Damaris]

No wit the Wii like that.

[Maul]

We wasn't Telling me some shit like that. Yeah, we was blessed with. No, you can't high note the Wii. Why you telling me that? This might not be my baby.

[Rory]

Oh, no, here's. This is where we get to it.

[Damaris]

The baby's daddy, anyway. Technically, you the baby.

[Maul]

No, I'm not.

[Rory]

Technically, DNA would say otherwise.

[Maul]

Technically, that ain't my baby. If we talking technicalities here. Like, that ain't my kid.

[Rory]

Get your blessings off.

[Maul]

Yeah, yeah.

[Rory]

Like, share your blessings.

[Maul]

Yeah. That's your blessing. Your baby. It's a blessing. That is not my blessing.

[Rory]

And I want back taxes on everything.

[Maul]

I need all that back. Yeah. I need all of that back.

[Rory]

And give me.

[Maul]

That's the blessing. Give me my money.

[Rory]

Give me that formula. I'm gonna go get another girl pregnant.

[Maul]

Do you leave a girl if you've been kind of in the baby's life and find out, like, three, four months into it? It's not yours, though. You out of there, Carl.

[Rory]

Three, four months.

[Damaris]

Three, four months.

[Rory]

Here's the thing.

[Damaris]

Six months. Y' all ain't leaving. Y' all ain't going nowhere.

[Maul]

So what's the. What does the extra three months do it? Is that like the. There's no turning back after those Six. Three extra months. Six.

[Rory]

But you got to add in the. Not like, the nine months, too. I've never had a kid, but I'd imagine you get attached to the kid while she's pregnant, too, as thinking it's yours. So you adding nine months plus the three or four you're invested. You was at the hospital, Carl.

[Damaris]

Yo, you did not just.

[Maul]

How did he go there?

[Damaris]

Yo, how did you get on that list?

[Rory]

That's what you call children.

[Maul]

I gotta look at another man's nut. What?

[Rory]

Yo, did the mice pick that up?

[Maul]

Yeah. What is happening right now? I gotta look at another man's nut. No, you don't.

[Rory]

No, it's a developed child. It's no longer a nut. He didn't come on your bed. No, it's a child.

[Maul]

Yo, that is the sickest. Y' all gotta look at another man's nut. And then you saw he put his hand out. I gotta look at another man's. Like, the nut was right. I looked over there like, wait, what were they doing before we got here? Like, who nutted him?

[Rory]

Imagine life going to Aaron. Like, look at this nut.

[Damaris]

Yeah.

[Maul]

Oh, my God. Called. It's not. As a child, as a baby. You can't call it a nut. Another man's nut.

[Rory]

That's the sickest thing I've Ever heard a child be referred to in my life?

[Damaris]

And he was dead ass.

[Maul]

He wasn't joking when he crazy as I can't.

[Rory]

But yeah, wait, I do want to hear more from Carl. He answered that so quickly and was like, no, I'm out of here. I'm not letting other dudes nut.

[Maul]

What?

[Rory]

Why would you view it that way?

[Maul]

Because.

[Rory]

Come get close to him.

[Damaris]

Thank you. Come here.

[Rory]

It's fine. We have edit buttons.

[Maul]

Just edit that. That angle out.

[Damaris]

No, no, no. Let him catch his ass like they call mine.

[Rory]

That was nasty. Keep all this. Eden, I ain't like that. You put Damaris's ass right on YouTube.

[Daniel Cormier]

Well, I.

[Rory]

There's a microphone right there, so. Nah, I'm saying so.

[Colin Coward]

Nah.

[Maul]

So nah. Yeah, because it's not my kid. And you lied to me practically for a year.

[Rory]

What if she didn't know?

[Maul]

Yeah, that's even worse. Now you got multiple.

[Daniel Cormier]

You don't.

[Maul]

It's me.

[Rory]

No, I think it's worse if you know and you ain't telling me if you ain't know. DNA test. She ain't know.

[Maul]

But now I gotta put up with it. Well, if he's a badass kid. Not it's other niggas. It's not my responsibility. Six months old. How bad could the kid be? He can't even do that. He can't even.

[Rory]

Carl, run around the house. Carl, run around. Look at this other genetics, yo.

[Maul]

Look at this nut walking around. All that nut does is shit and eat. So y' all taking care of it after? After it's not mine.

[Rory]

No, no.

[Damaris]

After it's not mine.

[Maul]

If I find out it's not mine, no, I'm not taking care of that kid.

[Rory]

I'm out of it.

[Maul]

It depends. Now, I know some people that were in situations where the child was like 4 and 5 when they found out. Obviously, at that point, it's hard to detach yourself from somebody's life that you've been a part of. But we talking about months. Six, nine months now.

[Damaris]

Mall, I got a question. What you had to do for that Magic City hat?

[Maul]

So we went to mall.

[Rory]

Going to the merch table at Magic City is crazy.

[Maul]

No. So. So what happened?

[Rory]

Souvenir store.

[Maul]

I was in Atlanta. I was in Atlanta with. With Daniel and JD we all went out one night.

[Rory]

Drop them all.

[Maul]

You know, that's the home. Whenever we go to Atlanta, we got a link with our homies, Beyonce. So I turned around, I look J.D. like I said, he's in the DJ booth still. Like any artists he's working with new artists, music. He walks to the DJ booth, has the DJ play the record. So I turn around, they're like on the other side. And I turn around, and justice had this hat on. JD had this hat on. I was like, oh, shit, I ain't. No Magic City had merch.

[Rory]

So y' all was trying to, like, coordinate.

[Maul]

Like, what bmf?

[Rory]

Like, oh, coordinate.

[Damaris]

And Magic City merch is next?

[Maul]

No, like, literally, you can get it right there by the bar. And I was like, oh, I'm definitely in a Magic city hat.

[Rory]

So you was trying to match with the homies at the strip club?

[Maul]

No, I didn't put it on, but I definitely walked out of there with a Magic city hat. My hands.

[Rory]

Did you crown a chick with it?

[Damaris]

Crown?

[Maul]

I don't. I don't think that's how it goes. Like, she rather just crown with some cash. No, she just wants. Throw them singles in your pocket.

[Rory]

Like, I choose you tonight.

[Maul]

You're. You're the lucky winner.

[Rory]

Yeah. This is your chaining day.

[Maul]

So y' all got a Magic City hat, man. I think that's kind. You know, that's culture D. That's a big. That's a big part of the hip hop culture, the hip hop community. A lot of records came out of Magic City.

[Rory]

I just think it's funny just going to the souvenir store at the strip club.

[Maul]

Yeah, like, who.

[Daniel Cormier]

Who you pay?

[Maul]

It's not a store. It's a young lady that's walking around with.

[Rory]

I bet she was merch.

[Maul]

She has the hat on.

[Rory]

Did she sign it for you?

[Maul]

She should have, actually. I should have got her to sign the brim. No, she didn't. But yeah. Shout out to Magic City, man. Damaris, we got to take you there when we go back to Atlanta. I still can't believe you never been to Magic City.

[Damaris]

Lon was trying. I told Lyon I wanted y' all to take me from. To Miami for my birthday. Lyon was like, nah, Houston.

[Maul]

I said, look at what the accountant. Look at the conversation.

[Rory]

Look at our team.

[Maul]

Sick as n. Have them take you to Houston.

[Rory]

Look at our squad.

[Damaris]

He said, no. He said, let's go to Houston. I said, let.

[Maul]

Oh, so he's a part of the accountant is coming to Houston. Rory, see, listen, man, we need to watch the accountant. Listen, man, we gotta watch lawyer. Yeah, go watch your ass, too.

[Rory]

So here's the thing about having, like, a business manager and accountant. Sometimes certain charges will come up and, you know you're paying him to not have the headache of having to deal with certain.

[Maul]

Yeah.

[Rory]

So, you know, sometimes I'll go in QuickBooks and want to organize certain stuff

[Maul]

for expenses and just start popping up

[Rory]

charges in your private life. May just pop up.

[Maul]

Yeah.

[Rory]

On business cards.

[Maul]

Yeah. What you was doing. You got one.

[Rory]

Hold on, Rory. Hold on. I gotta. No, I'm just gonna. I'm just gonna expose my life.

[Damaris]

You getting the cards mixed up?

[Rory]

No, I did it intentionally with. With. It was my personal business card.

[Damaris]

Oh, okay.

[Maul]

All right.

[Damaris]

I'm scared.

[Rory]

This is at 7:15pm on Friday. Gotham Video and Distribution on credit card for 374 on December 12th. Do you know what this is for, Rory?

[Maul]

Gotham. What is that?

[Damaris]

374 is. Is what's bothering me.

[Rory]

I said, I gotta get a whole separate account for certain purchases that you can't see. Loyan said, bro, I don't judge you on anything. Trust. I've seen just about everything. I said, okay, that's a sex store in the city. I am who I am. And he said, I'll file it under props for a sketch.

[Maul]

That's why. Yeah, that's good.

[Rory]

That's the guy right there.

[Maul]

He's good.

[Damaris]

You don't miss.

[Maul]

You know, he's good. He knows. He knows where to file it.

[Rory]

Listen, man.

[Damaris]

374. What the. Did you buy Rory a doll? You bought a doll?

[Rory]

Listen, I'm into some nasty. I would never. A doll.

[Maul]

Yeah.

[Damaris]

Okay, so what, the three stuff. Okay. Sorry.

[Maul]

No, you know, Rory had to get. He had to get lube. He had to get handcuffs. You know, the Irish people get, you know, shot glasses.

[Rory]

Straps that literally clip under your mattress.

[Maul]

Yeah.

[Damaris]

Oh, you bought a sex swing. 374. He bought a sex swing.

[Maul]

That's why the couch don't fit in my room.

[Rory]

I like, like, but, like, you know,

[Maul]

I'm on to you, all right?

[Rory]

You never went to the playground and went on the swings?

[Maul]

Absolutely.

[Rory]

You never did. Did the whole. She did the back flip out of the swing.

[Maul]

Absolutely.

[Rory]

Now do that into some.

[Damaris]

Never thought about that car over here. I hate working with all of y'. All.

[Maul]

Do some back flipping to the pussy.

[Rory]

Let me. Let me tell y' all this. I was fine with everything. Even the Loyolan thing didn't really bother me. What bothered me was recycling day.

[Maul]

Why?

[Rory]

Those boxes aren't discreet.

[Damaris]

Yeah, he had to put the box out.

[Rory]

I had to put all the boxes out in the street.

[Maul]

Wait, but what kind of boxes did that shit come in?

[Rory]

It was multiple boxes.

[Maul]

Oh, you went crazy.

[Rory]

I went $374.

[Maul]

Oh, you went crazy on 8th Avenue.

[Rory]

8th Avenue Sex Store.

[Maul]

Yeah, you went crazy.

[Rory]

You go in there when you're drunk to laugh, you don't really buy shit. There's.

[Maul]

He went crazy.

[Damaris]

He went crazy.

[Maul]

You went crazy.

[Rory]

You trying 374 on 25 cent peep shows.

[Maul]

Listen, man, as long as they see it would be worse if it came from me.

[Rory]

Oh, well, this is on my personal. I didn't put this on our.

[Maul]

Don't worry. Oh, I'm not tripping. We see it. I'm like, listen, he's paying for it. I'm not in.

[Rory]

Don't worry.

[Maul]

That's Rory's charge, not mine. Derek didn't stand a chance, by the way.

[Damaris]

What?

[Maul]

Let me just let you do that. Derek didn't stand a chance, but we

[Rory]

gotta make that a segment. I don't even know.

[Maul]

We saw the video.

[Rory]

We should just leave it.

[Maul]

I was just with. I'd act like I didn't know what you were talking about. Me and Rory saw the video yesterday. You got some bars in there, though, D. I ain't go hard. Your new name is baby D. And 1000%. You was 100 Crip. I could tell by everything you had on in that video. You was definitely running around a red leather. How the am I. Nah, that's how you throw them off. So they hit you with the. The su woo. And you like, nah, that ain't even what I'm jacking on this side.

[Rory]

She was throwing the boys over.

[Damaris]

I really thought they was trying to

[Rory]

build a recall against Demerit. Had to throw them off.

[Damaris]

Who sent it to y'? All? I would like to know.

[Maul]

Rory sent it to me.

[Rory]

All right, I do want to lead with. As much as Maul and I were joking on you all day yesterday, I

[Damaris]

did also behind my back, though. Y', all, of course. Sure.

[Maul]

We know we fake it phony.

[Rory]

I did say. Nah. Demaris kind of barred Derek up.

[Maul]

Yeah, no, I said. I said Derek didn't stand a chance, and we need to find Derek. Where's Derek at?

[Rory]

For those that don't know, there's a.

[Maul]

There's an amazing, amazing video of Damaris on YouTube from 13 years ago, maybe.

[Damaris]

Thank you so much for telling everybody where to find it.

[Rory]

Oh, that's gonna get a million. Is that your page? You better monetize that shit.

[Maul]

Put some copyright claims on all that shit. You gave Derek some balls. So can we get the history between you and Derek? Like, what happened? How did. How did we get to the battle, like. Cause you said, first of all, that was light. You was like, yo, I'm not even going hard. This is a light low. This ain't even a battle. This is me, like, letting. This is a warning. You gave him a warning. You gave him four minutes of war.

[Rory]

You know when. You know when Pac said, I'm gonna let my little homies finish you off?

[Maul]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's what D did.

[Rory]

That's Was talking. She's like, this ain't even worth. All right, for context purposes.

[Maul]

She's like, you get. No,

[Rory]

she did ether.

[Maul]

I said, you're looking dam.

[Rory]

All right, to add context for people that think we just going off the rails here, There is a video from 13 years ago of Damaris rapping about

[Maul]

a gentleman bar and Derek the up.

[Rory]

And the title, which I think is the thing that everyone just brushed over. She just said a quick little diss to Derek as the title.

[Maul]

No, I got to find it. I got to find. I got to find it. I just want to read.

[Rory]

I want to read about it. But we. We're here now.

[Maul]

I want to read the title verb.

[Rory]

Oh, no, we don't play it now.

[Maul]

Yo, Damaris, I have so many questions. Like, I feel like we. I feel like our bond is, like, a lot. Now that I saw that video. I feel like we're a lot closer. Damaris, you're not going to copyright me, right?

[Rory]

This is.

[Maul]

Damaris is quick just to Derek. Oh, it's called boy, please.

[Damaris]

There's

[Maul]

y. Yo. Oh, no, I got a. Oh, you got it.

[Colin Coward]

Okay.

[Damaris]

Yeah, I just.

[Rory]

And she did it to the. You know, Damaris is a rapper for real when she picked the Going in beat, cuz she heard Wayne on that and was like, oh, yeah, I'm going in.

[Maul]

Yeah, I'm going in.

[Damaris]

I got to hop on this. It's hilarious. This isn't even right. Like, what are you doing? This ain't even like.

[Rory]

Carl, can we put the actual video in the lower

[Colin Coward]

be.

[Maul]

Yeah. Video right here. Carl,

[Colin Coward]

hold on.

[Maul]

Like, no, don't. Don't skip a intro.

[Rory]

I kind of want to break the fit down before. I want to take my time with this one.

[Maul]

No, they. They. They seeing it. They going to see the fit.

[Rory]

That's what I'm saying.

[Maul]

I know that red leather. That Red leather was infamous in the hood. That's the joint that. That was hanging right in the store as soon as you walked in. Remember, they used to hang the leathers on.

[Damaris]

On the wall

[Rory]

that was up there with the Charlotte hornets jacket.

[Maul]

Absolutely. 1,000%.

[Damaris]

That's why I let y' all know fans send me about all the time.

[Rory]

That's fine, Tamaris.

[Maul]

I don't have YouTube. I'm not getting. I'm not getting my balls off on YouTube.

[Rory]

We've been potting for seven years. You know how many times I've woken up to my mentions about my past?

[Maul]

Yes.

[Rory]

With mad video evidence.

[Maul]

That's regular.

[Rory]

I feel bad.

[Maul]

Feel bad for you. I don't even want to do this to you. This hurts me more than it hurts

[Damaris]

you that I'm not playing with you do the type to run when the wave starts spraying. That is you mad. Cause the baddest ain't laying with you. You ain't even real, boy. I been.

[Maul]

Could.

[Damaris]

It came at you, Derek, you can't.

[Rory]

Nah. When she. Wait.

[Maul]

When she, like, can't hear it, when

[Rory]

she let the beat breathe for a second, like, derek, that beef was real.

[Maul]

Yeah. How many bodies drop behind that beat?

[Rory]

What was the hood like at that time?

[Maul]

Yo, y' all shook the block. How many bodies drop? How many in the cemetery?

[Rory]

How much pain they put in?

[Damaris]

Oh, you know what?

[Rory]

Okay.

[Damaris]

Y getting this off.

[Rory]

First of all, Derek definitely beat.

[Maul]

Yo, Derek definitely clapped.

[Damaris]

Derek didn't beat.

[Maul]

I'm not letting y' all get that off.

[Damaris]

I'm not letting y' all get that off. Derek did not beat y. Yo, I

[Maul]

gotta get Derek on the line. Where is Derek? Yo, Derek, please, man. We need you on the. Did not beat.

[Damaris]

He did not. I. I. Everything. He.

[Maul]

All right, so what started the beef? Give us the backstory on the beef,

[Rory]

Derek, and then we'll continue the freestyle.

[Damaris]

So this is back when. This was back when Facebook used to be popping up. I was in high school.

[Maul]

I was in, like, freshman years ago.

[Rory]

We can't sell soft.

[Maul]

He was about 16 in this video. We know.

[Damaris]

We see it. So Derek just. We used to have rap battles on Facebook, but we used to type, like, type the rap battles out.

[Maul]

Okay.

[Damaris]

But he just went a little bit too hard one day in the comments, like when we was going back and forth, and I was like, nah, I'm a record.

[Rory]

He said he sent a personal. Little personal shot.

[Damaris]

Yeah. I felt like, oh, no.

[Rory]

You know, like, we're not playing anymore.

[Damaris]

Yeah, I like that shit.

[Maul]

Gloves was off.

[Damaris]

Okay. But Derek. Actually, Derek is Shout. Shout out to Derek and his family.

[Rory]

Do you remember the bar? That was too personal.

[Daniel Cormier]

That.

[Rory]

That made you.

[Maul]

Oh, God.

[Damaris]

I would have to. I wouldn't even remember.

[Maul]

Yeah, because you had this venom, D. I'm not gonna lie. It feel like you've been waiting.

[Damaris]

He might have called, like, my rap stiff or something, and I just. I took it.

[Maul]

Really? Oh, he threw a shot at your ball. So you got to show him that your balls ain't stiff, right?

[Damaris]

Yeah. No, like my rat. No, like my hair.

[Maul]

Oh, he said your hair was stiff. Like it wasn't flowing. Had that bounce, that body, that condition you needed. Okay, okay.

[Damaris]

Stiff. And I got upset.

[Maul]

Oh, yeah, I love you.

[Rory]

But judging by this video, Derek may have had a point.

[Maul]

Yeah, yeah. The bob wasn't bobbing. Yeah, Definitely didn't bother because you swung your. And the head didn't move. I was like.

[Rory]

When you tried to lean into the camera and say, derek nothing.

[Maul]

Yo, D. I don't know if that was the style back then, but that ain't moving.

[Daniel Cormier]

It was.

[Damaris]

It was a lot of olive oil spray. You know what I'm saying? It was a lot of olive oil spray.

[Rory]

But I like. You gave him the green lights. Like, you tried to set the. The mood. You gave him visuals, literally.

[Damaris]

My child. I was looking. I was like, there's. This is my childhood bedroom and my

[Maul]

back a Harry Potter poster. And I ain't going to lie.

[Rory]

I like the someone up with Harry Potter in the background.

[Maul]

Yeah, it just says. And I ain't going to lie. You gave him one eye. You ain't even giving both of the bang. Yeah, yeah, I see the swoop over the. Over the left.

[Damaris]

When I find out who on Reddit discovered this, I promise you.

[Maul]

Yo, this was the highlight of my night. Did you guys see the description? Damaris?

[Rory]

Embarrassing is lame real quick. Which she. Which she definitely typed well, you know the matter in third person.

[Maul]

Yeah, this is great, Dimash. This is all a part of your story and your legend, so.

[Damaris]

Yep.

[Maul]

Do not be ashamed.

[Rory]

This isn't embarrassing, in my opinion. This is not embarrassing.

[Maul]

This is. This is literally embarrassing.

[Damaris]

If embarrassing had a definition. This, this.

[Maul]

No, it's not embarrassing because you actually rapping really good for four minutes. Like, yeah, like, you got your off. Like, it's just funny because we know you and we love you now. So to see you 12 years ago was like, holy.

[Rory]

And I can. I trusted you already, but now I can officially trust you because you try. Like, you try to rap. I don't trust anyone that didn't try to rap as a child. Yeah, like, you're un.

[Maul]

But I knew I was trash early, so my career was over, like, quick.

[Rory]

You was better than

[Damaris]

the baddest name.

[Rory]

You was the baddest

[Damaris]

you can't grind. I'm at the time,

[Rory]

like, was Darnell like the.

[Maul]

You held. You held the other Darnell down. So. Y. Y' all should have made a group called the Triple Ds. Damaris, Darnell and Derek. See, y' all missed y' all whole locks opportunity. Like, y' all could have had money, power, and respect.

[Rory]

Yo, I hate you. I feel like I really.

[Damaris]

Yo, like.

[Maul]

All right, I'm sorry. All right. My bad.

[Rory]

Did you watch the.

[Damaris]

That's your podcast.

[Rory]

Did you watch the Wu Tang Hulu Doc? Like, Ghost and Ray was going at each other when they was. They was kids. Then they formed. They formed a squad.

[Damaris]

Yeah.

[Rory]

It's not too late for this.

[Maul]

Not too late for y'. All. I ain't gonna lie.

[Rory]

Imagine. Imagine if Derek ended up being stove God.

[Maul]

Yo, how crazy would that be? You know how crazy that, like, what

[Rory]

if Darren, who she's rapping for? Because Darren, you know, he was hot. He was. Darnell Rather.

[Colin Coward]

Yeah.

[Rory]

He was already the hottest. He ain't time for this.

[Maul]

Yeah, yeah. It was like, he's working on the album. He couldn't really.

[Rory]

He was working on Drought at that time. Yo, he didn't have time for. For Derek.

[Maul]

Yo, this was great. I just want you to know this

[Damaris]

computer. You have no likes. Then you get my. You have no, like, no foodies, no bra. You get no buns. Follow my rules. So I call your little ass, son.

[Maul]

She going crazy on D, right?

[Rory]

Look at your face.

[Maul]

Imagine telling.

[Rory]

Yo, look at your face.

[Maul]

Yeah, that's a dis. That's a real dis. Yo, look at your face. Yo, that's a real diss.

[Rory]

And telling someone that's 16 year old you. You don't even have a wife.

[Maul]

Yeah, that's what I was about to say. Like, is he supposed to. He's 16. Look at the pressure you was putting

[Rory]

on how hard it was to get buns at 16. It wasn't easy.

[Damaris]

He was older. I think If I was 16, he was probably WR. 21, 20.

[Maul]

Oh, you was? Okay.

[Rory]

He's a creep.

[Damaris]

He was like. No, he might have been like 19, 20. He was old. He's definitely out of high school. I was still in high school. He was out of high school.

[Rory]

I am gonna. We are gonna finish this. But did he respond? Was this round one?

[Damaris]

He didn't respond after that. No.

[Rory]

Oh, he took.

[Maul]

Yeah.

[Rory]

I wouldn't have either rap a lot stepped in.

[Maul]

He didn't respond.

[Damaris]

No, he didn't respond.

[Maul]

Yeah.

[Rory]

J. Prince said, yo, we gotta dead this one, yo.

[Daniel Cormier]

Yeah.

[Rory]

Yo, Derek, don't even reply, man.

[Colin Coward]

Don't. What?

[Rory]

J. Prince said don't. Don't play in the. The mud with the pigs or whatever.

[Maul]

Yeah, yeah, whatever.

[Damaris]

You know.

[Maul]

You know, he gave us some knowledge. Like, yo, listen, if you play in the pig with the mud, you can only expect to get dirty.

[Rory]

Yeah. So he's like, I was just.

[Maul]

I see what you say.

[Rory]

I'm glad. I'm glad J. Prince did it this, though, because this could have got crazy.

[Maul]

Yeah. I ain't gonna lie. I'm just. I'm just glad no bodies dropped. We don't know that, though.

[Damaris]

Were you so fake. You said you could have said that to me and be like, yo, mall

[Rory]

replied right back to me. Does Damaris know you've seen this? Yo, I said. I said no. That's why I just sent it to you.

[Maul]

He's like, yo, nah, D gonna kill video. She's gonna kill us.

[Damaris]

I was at so funny enough, I check our Reddit regularly because that's where everything hits first. So if Rory's nudes drop anything, if

[Rory]

my news drop it, I. I leaked them.

[Maul]

But what's a nude, though?

[Rory]

My dick.

[Maul]

All right, because I'm gonna say if

[Rory]

you men can only have one nude.

[Maul]

That's what I say.

[Damaris]

If any.

[Maul]

Any that's like full frontal in the mirror, butt, ass, you deserve to have them leaked.

[Damaris]

No, but girls, like I said, we had a conversation. Pictures of your ass, you know, when they got up out of bed.

[Maul]

Girl, y' all sneak take pictures of asses.

[Damaris]

Yeah, I used to when I was younger.

[Rory]

They do. It's. I've. I felt very violated.

[Maul]

Why would I do that?

[Rory]

I had the same reaction. Like, why would you. Why would you do that?

[Damaris]

Because we know that it's a. It's a vulnerable spot for you. Wow, you vulnerable. So you can't pop all that. Yeah, I beat. But it's like. Yeah, but look at you.

[Maul]

I still beat, though.

[Damaris]

That don't proof.

[Rory]

It's actually proof that I.

[Maul]

That I'm fresh out the beat. Like that don't erase the beat. Listen, it's got my nasty looking ass on the Internet. Like, it's like, all right, whatever. I still beat, though.

[Rory]

And on top of that, what's it say if I didn't even take my pants off to you? Like, what's that say about you?

[Maul]

Yeah, that's crazy.

[Damaris]

No, your pants up. Yeah, I get what you're saying.

[Maul]

Yo, D, is it disrespectful? I had to talk with my Home girl. Is it disrespectful for a man to have sex? I didn't even ask.

[Damaris]

Because everything you asked me you already know the answer to. So let's just skip.

[Rory]

He does do that a lot.

[Maul]

It's just funny. I like the cuz.

[Rory]

He know that. Like.

[Damaris]

Yeah, he know the answer.

[Maul]

Like, I know it's disrespectful. Yo, but serious question. Is it disrespectful for a guy to like you through, like, the whole box?

[Damaris]

See, you see? Why.

[Maul]

Why do you ask me like this?

[Damaris]

Why do you ask me stupid like that?

[Rory]

What if it's on the sneak? Like, what if that's first of all spontaneous.

[Damaris]

Nobody would box. Why are you anybody in boxes?

[Maul]

No, the boxer briefs.

[Damaris]

Not.

[Maul]

Not actual boxers. Like the. I don't even. Do they still sell? Yeah, they still. I would never wear boxers. Boxer briefs, I'm talking about.

[Rory]

But the briefs I have is hard to like. Yeah, it's hard to get to take your dick out of that Weird. Like boxers. You could take a dick out pretty easily through that. Slit briefs is tough to. That it's easier to take your briefs off than try to stick your dick through the hole.

[Damaris]

Exactly.

[Rory]

You're sick if you do that.

[Maul]

You know how you. But you know how sometimes just do dumb. But my homegirl was saying it's crazy disrespectful for a to do that.

[Damaris]

That's extremely disrespectful. It also doesn't make sense, but it's also extremely disrespectful.

[Rory]

Well, if you're purposely trying to be disrespectful. Yeah, it makes sense.

[Maul]

I read a study that said. I think you didn't read a study. Yeah, I read a study. I'm trying to find it. 80% of people have orgasms when they don't have any socks on.

[Rory]

How do they pull these things?

[Maul]

I don't know.

[Rory]

Did the CDC do this?

[Maul]

I'm trying to find.

[Rory]

Is this Fauci's research?

[Maul]

No, no, no. This was a real. This was a real thing that they researched. They said, like, 80% of couples, they only can receive orgasms when they don't have their socks on. Like, they gotta be barefooted in order to receive orgasm. Sock.

[Rory]

If she has socks on or off, she's probably not gonna come. So I feel bad, but I'm a nut.

[Maul]

If she has socks on, that means she. She like, she ain't get that petty, that fresh petty. And she don't want.

[Damaris]

I can have uggs on. I'm A nut.

[Maul]

I don't know about her.

[Rory]

I've nutted in Tim's. Yeah.

[Maul]

Yeah. Socks ain't stopping me from watching this nut. I'm sorry. Socks.

[Rory]

I do think it is weird to with socks on. But I could nut with socks on.

[Maul]

Is it?

[Rory]

And I don't think it's the socks that's not making a woman come. It's probably the person. She's.

[Maul]

Yeah.

[Rory]

It's him and her.

[Damaris]

She's.

[Rory]

I've done that research.

[Damaris]

Yeah.

[Maul]

Like body that well.

[Rory]

That's women that know their body well. From what I've understood what women have told me. I'm not speaking for women.

[Maul]

Right. Of course. We would never do that on this platform.

[Rory]

Women that know their body a little bit better can come easier.

[Maul]

D. Can you pass me that?

[Damaris]

But I wouldn't know past eating nothing. I quit. Did I tell you?

[Rory]

Wait. You said you was the best Derek ever had.

[Damaris]

Leave me alone. Stop playing.

[Rory]

That's the best part.

[Damaris]

Call me a fake Nicki Minaj. Stop trying to come at me.

[Maul]

Stop trying to say, Wait, wait, wait, wait. I didn't hear that last night. Stop calling me the fake Nicki Minaj.

[Rory]

N. But J ended that freestyle like she knew she bought up. Said, Yo. Leave me alone. You see what I just did?

[Colin Coward]

Yeah.

[Rory]

Like I don't.

[Damaris]

Leave me alone. Stop playing with me. Stop trying to call me a fake Nicki Minaj. Stop trying to come at me. Stop trying to stay on Pump fake. All right. Stop. You don't want to riddle me. You look like you're coming off a bug's life. You don't want to rip.

[Maul]

Damn. She at Derek. Right?

[Rory]

This all. Cause he said your hair wouldn't move.

[Maul]

All of that.

[Rory]

I don't believe that. You gotta tell me what Derek really did.

[Maul]

Way too much emotion behind that.

[Daniel Cormier]

Damn.

[Damaris]

Only animators can create some. That.

[Maul]

All right. So. J. This is like killing Derek right now.

[Damaris]

You've been here five minutes. I don't want to shout out none of these people.

[Rory]

Okay. Fair enough. Thank you. I did love that you did shout out the entire crew at the end though.

[Maul]

So. So. So where do you and Derek stand today?

[Damaris]

I haven't spoken to Derek in years.

[Maul]

Poor Derek. Damn. That was it. You bodied him and walked away from the crime.

[Damaris]

Derek's family grew up next to next door to my godmother's house. So we. We grew up together.

[Rory]

Is he still.

[Damaris]

But he used to always. He used to send shots and he's like, stop sending shots.

[Rory]

Is he still in Syracuse?

[Damaris]

I have no idea. I. I have. I don't.

[Rory]

Okay. Because Maul and I were talking about going. You know, we talked about going up there to do something with stove guy.

[Damaris]

Stove guy.

[Maul]

Can we.

[Rory]

Can we. Can we double. Can we double up and get the Derek interview? Can we do it in this bedroom that you shot this in with the same green lights with the Harry Potter poster?

[Damaris]

I lost my Harry Potter poster, unfortunately.

[Rory]

But I'm telling you, that last. Like, when you stopped rapping and just started talking, I used to listen to the Ray J Breakfast Club rant sometimes, like, get my day going. Like, to really make me feel motivated and, like, you know, confident. I think I'm gonna switch my morning motivation to. To that last shit. You know what? I'm. Wake up in the morning when I'm brushing my teeth. Like, don't play with me. You see what I do?

[Maul]

All right, I deserve.

[Damaris]

You know what? I deserve all of this. I. I do not. With the Internet. There are other videos that eventually will pop up of me that will also.

[Rory]

Oh, I went to the YouTube page. You mean like Lay and Damaris dancing? But here's the thing. Damaris, I envy you. If this was the embarrassing thing from my childhood, I would feel so good about myself. I. The amount of things that have come on the Internet of my childhood, everything are way more embarrassing than this.

[Maul]

It wasn't that bad. This wasn't bad. It was just funny seeing you like that, rapping like that. But it's, you know, it's good to see that you was always about your business, was ready to step to the mic, was ready to go at. If they got out of line. It's good to see that that energy was always still there because I still see it today. So I'm saying you kept it on brand, so good for you.

[Damaris]

Thank you so much. Do we have a contact at YouTube that I can get that page sticker down?

[Maul]

Nah, that's up there forever, baby. Where are you at? I'm in the studio. Where are you at? I'm in the studio. I'm coming to you right now. I'm doing podcast, right?

[Rory]

Get a fourth mic and they can hear you.

[Maul]

What podcast? Who you doing now? I'm up.

[Daniel Cormier]

What's up?

[Maul]

Pull up and talk my.

[Rory]

Get the fourth mic.

[Maul]

I want to pull up. I want to talk my. Who the podcast with? I was having a bad day. My baby mother called me this morning with some. Oh, never mind.

[Rory]

I'll take it back, man.

[Damaris]

That.

[Rory]

I'm going up.

[Maul]

Daddy.

[Daniel Cormier]

This me.

[Maul]

I'm going up tonight. Lambo Trucks out tonight. They don't pull it up. That's what happens to the baby.

[Rory]

Yes, yes.

[Daniel Cormier]

Okay.

[Maul]

I'm doing. I'm on the way.

[Damaris]

All right.

[Maul]

All right.

[Rory]

Bye.

[Maul]

Bye. You just said you was on the way. If you coming.

[Daniel Cormier]

Come on.

[Maul]

Don't worry about.

[Damaris]

Come on.

[Maul]

You can see what you give.

[Daniel Cormier]

Come on.

[Maul]

You're gonna be. You're. You're going to be on the. You're gonna be on the podcast. They hear you. Well, I want to know who's it with?

[Rory]

You be that.

[Maul]

Who you with?

[Daniel Cormier]

You with.

[Rory]

Be that.

[Maul]

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Daniel Cormier]

Okay.

[Rory]

No, I don't like the tone of that. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I don't like that tone.

[Maul]

Hey, listen, it's only going viral if I enjoy doing the interview. And I'm on eight right now. Am J, you in. You in the group chat.

[Damaris]

You know what the.

[Maul]

I've been dealing with.

[Daniel Cormier]

Stop.

[Maul]

I'm doing this. I'm bringing a million dollars cash.

[Rory]

Can this be the trailer?

[Maul]

Hey, yo, yo, yo, I'm. I'mma call you. Yo, yo, if you coming. Come on, man, I got to finish. Mel, tell me he.

[Daniel Cormier]

You.

[Maul]

You cap.

[Rory]

You cap.

[Maul]

That's what you doing? You capping? You capping? Well, you better hurry up, man.

[Rory]

I got.

[Maul]

Look, look, listen, look, look, man, it's a whole crew of people here. They got it. Are you coming to do this? He's more than welcome to come. That got thrashed his jersey on.

[Daniel Cormier]

Where he been?

[Maul]

Oh, my God. I'm in the house. I'm overlooking the whole ass city. They trying to take me out. All right, bye.

[Rory]

Bye, man. Bye, man. Come on. Bye. All right, man.

[Daniel Cormier]

Hold on.

[Maul]

Oh, my God. They call from a different number.

[Rory]

Oh, yeah. We going to break the Internet with this. I'm ready.

[Maul]

I don't want to be sent out. They feel me right now. Yeah, yeah, we rolling.

[Rory]

We have not stopped rolling. Don't censor.

[Maul]

Don't stop rolling. Now the interview started. Now that I'm here making know what

[Rory]

time it is, I'm going take my shoes off when I'm here.

[Maul]

Yeah, me too.

[Rory]

I got my shoes off your zone, though. I'm gonna keep it real with the Adidas. Sucks.

[Maul]

But listen, it's gonna be nothing but a bunch of laughing emojis, a bunch of real. A bunch of real talk. Yeah, all that now. All that, that corporate JD Been kicking all that.

[Rory]

We ain't on that type of time.

[Maul]

I'm fresh off tour. The only who you know.

[Damaris]

Check the facts.

[Maul]

Who ain't Got to drop no single to put 20,000 asses in no seats.

[Rory]

The meat talk. That talk.

[Maul]

Ain't nobody do that.

[Rory]

I like meat.

[Maul]

Kiss the bread.

[Daniel Cormier]

Hot chili.

[Maul]

Who else?

[Daniel Cormier]

Who else?

[Maul]

Rock groups. And I don't do rock music.

[Daniel Cormier]

Know that.

[Rory]

Oh, you meant kiss the. I was thinking Jada.

[Daniel Cormier]

No.

[Maul]

And that's the big homie I just supposed to kiss.

[Colin Coward]

Kiss. You know I love you.

[Maul]

We was talking Rolex talk, all that.

[Colin Coward]

You know what I'm saying?

[Maul]

That's the homie I'm talking about. Kissing that paint their face and blow up. Very aware.

[Rory]

You know what I mean?

[Maul]

Very of aware everywhere. Yeah. And we're gonna ask Eddie why. He know I want to work with, too.

[Colin Coward]

He.

[Maul]

He's scared to do it. He might not be legendary enough to pull it off. JD Might not be legendary enough. Yeah.

[Rory]

Need a bigger icon.

[Maul]

Am I bigger than Jermaine?

[Daniel Cormier]

You?

[Maul]

Absolutely I am. Are you bigger than Jermaine? Absolutely.

[Rory]

In what capacity?

[Maul]

All capacity as an artist. Tell Jermaine to walk in the mall with me together.

[Rory]

Oh, no, no. Popularity show.

[Maul]

Your popularity for sure, but music, I'm not gonna touch.

[Daniel Cormier]

That.

[Maul]

I ain't gonna touch that on the music team. But, you know, Snoop found me, though, you know? I mean, I was ready already.

[Damaris]

You know what I mean?

[Maul]

Like, JD kind of got it easy. He got it easy.

[Daniel Cormier]

Absolutely.

[Damaris]

That's like a.

[Maul]

Bringing me a casserole and his maid already. And I say, here you go.

[Damaris]

Eat.

[Maul]

Like, I came to him already. He'll tell you I came ready.

[Damaris]

I've realized that lust. Having a lust issue. I was just telling people.

[Maul]

You finally realized you got a lust issue.

[Damaris]

Having a lust issue will cost you, so. We'll cost you so much money and energy. Like, I. If there's a. Like, if there's a beautiful girl around, I will spend so much more money and so much more energy.

[Maul]

Oh, you a trick.

[Damaris]

Like, go home, baby.

[Maul]

D, I never knew you was a trick.

[Damaris]

Relax, baby. Need a trick.

[Maul]

What you mean you'll spend so much? That's. That's true. That's trick lingo.

[Damaris]

So now I'm not even. I'm not even just talking about that. Yes, I spend money on women, right? But it's not even just that. It's more like. Like, okay, so if me, you, and Rory go out and we're just going out as the fellas, right? Because I'm the fellas to y', all, and we go to a bar, we have one or two drinks, whatever. If there is a bad there, you know what hey, let's order another round. We're having a ball. Let's order another round. Oh, let's go here. Because you don't want to go home. Because it's a beautiful girl right there.

[Maul]

Like you're trying to get a drunk and take advantage of her.

[Damaris]

That'.

[Maul]

That's what it sounds like, right?

[Damaris]

That is not true.

[Maul]

Get her drunk and unsuspecting and she doesn't know that I want to lick that cat and. Yeah, that's what it sounds like.

[Damaris]

I'm not.

[Maul]

Another round, another round, another round. Keep them coming. No, it's just like more shots.

[Damaris]

You know how when you're having so funny how time flies when you're having fun? When you're having fun and it's like the cute girls around you don't even notice how much you're drinking. You don't notice how much you're spending.

[Maul]

Like, okay, Baby D a trip.

[Rory]

I also just want to like do piece. Do like a quick 30 second reverse. Would you say alcohol is a drug? I would.

[Maul]

Drug, yes.

[Rory]

Tylenol is a drug.

[Maul]

Okay.

[Rory]

Alcohol.

[Maul]

Okay.

[Rory]

She just said she doesn't understand how people could want to take drugs, see a beautiful woman and want to them.

[Maul]

Well, alcohol is not a drug. It's a controlled substance.

[Damaris]

Thank you.

[Maul]

Alcohol is a central nervous system.

[Rory]

The government named it that because it's. What it's a legal drug.

[Maul]

This means. Oh, hold on. Alcohol is a central nervous system depressant. This means that it is a drug that slows down brain activity. It can change your mood, behavior and self control. It can cause problems with memory and thinking clearly. So this means if baby D is buying more rounds for the women, then she is hoping that it changes their mood, their behavior and that they lose self control so she can go home and do what she pleases with these.

[Damaris]

You are literally painting me as it's

[Maul]

right there in the AI. It was right there.

[Damaris]

Like, what the.

[Maul]

It's right. Oh, my bad, Ryan. I was reading something else, but no, for real.

[Damaris]

Like real talk real. Like, didn't y' all notice? Like when y' all got y' all lust under control like that you saved like money, like the amount of money you were spending.

[Rory]

Read your Bible, read your Quran, read every history book. The fall of every single man in empire is lust. All of it. The first lesson in the Bible. Lust. It'll ruin everything. Every powerful man is not killed because of armies anymore. Just armies of horse. Yeah,

[Maul]

we can't really kill that lust demon. You all right? You figured out 70% of life once you can control that lust demon. Like when you know you're getting lusty and you like, nah, I ain't going out. I ain't going to hang out with this chick. Nah, I ain't doing it. And then, like, you actually go through it, not going out. The next day you wake up, you feel like you just glowing. You like, nigga, I can do anything. I said no to the. I couldn't do anything. Yeah, like you could conquer the world.

[Rory]

I can do anything.

[Maul]

I can do anything. Hell, no. Hell, no. I can do anything. All you gotta do is say no to the lust demon. One time, you look that lust demon right here in the face, and you decide you're gonna stay home and not go out. You wake up the next day, and life is just different. You just feel like, yeah, like you can't control me. You can't get me to just come outside and spend my money on you and just be a trick. I ain't no trick. Fight that lust demon. A lot of you niggas is down bad for that lust demon.

[Rory]

You start adding up the money that you did save from last night.

[Maul]

Oh, my God.

[Rory]

I got an extra 500 in my pocket now for a night I probably wouldn't have enjoyed, fam.

[Maul]

Listen, in New York, you know how easy it is to spend 500 on a girl that really don't like you

[Rory]

like that it costs 50 an hour to breathe out here without meeting the girl.

[Maul]

Stay no to that lust demon three days out the week. And watch how much money you save. Dave, you up 1500. You up 1500. You say no to the lust demon three times.

[Rory]

The only thing stopping y' all from getting a down payment on a house is horror.

[Maul]

Is the lust demon 100%. The lust demon got y' all down bad, so I know what you mean, baby. D. Like, you see a beautiful woman you like. Damn, I don't want this night. Then you know how much it cost to keep the night open? Shit, the night is expensive. Keep the night open. Yo, we gonna keep going, all right? Wait till you lay down and see that bank statement in the morning you just swiping. All right, go ahead. You bad. You down 25.

[Rory]

Take one night off and say less. And you got an llc.

[Maul]

Yeah.

[Rory]

Your dreams will start tomorrow.

[Maul]

That's a lot of dudes don't know that you. You down bad because the lust demon is up. Lust demon winning 82. 0 every season.

[Rory]

Yeah.

[Maul]

Cannot say no to that lust demon, fellas.

[Damaris]

Trust me, no worry.

[Maul]

Rory, I know you're not here, but I can hear you right now. Mom, why don't you just stop paying? We're paying for your price, for your being you Boost. Mom, don't you just get a phone and you can stop being the same price. You can keep the same number, keep the same phone. Boost Mobile is prov. You don't have to overpay for great wireless. Unlock the savers with the $25 a month Forever Unlimited plan. It's a permanent price with no contracts and no price hikes. Yes, Rory, I know I can keep my own phone and my number, but I save up to $600 a year compared to the major carriers. Stop overpaying and switch to a fair [e-mail] today based on average annual single line payment of AT&T Verizon and T Mobile customers compared to 12 months on the Boost Mobile Unlimited plan as of January 2026. For full offer details, visit boostmobile.com

[Damaris]

hey,

[Rory]

it's Ryan Reynolds here from Mint Mobile. Now I was looking for fun ways to tell you that Mint's offer of unlimited Premium Wireless for $15 a month is back. So I thought it would be fun if we made $15 bills, but it turns out that's very illegal, so there goes my big idea for the commercial. Give it a [e-mail] switch upfront payment

[Damaris]

of $45 for three months, 90 for six months, or $180 for a 12 month plan required $15 per month equivalent taxes and fees Extra initial plan term only greater than 50 gigabytes. Me slow when network is busy.

[Rory]

See Terms.

[Colin Coward]

Hi, it's Colin Coward from the Colin Coward podcast. All right, you know what deserves more attention? The assists. Everybody talks about the goal. A big moment that gets replayed on the highlight reels. But too often we overlook all the contributions and collabs that happen along the way. That's true in soccer and honestly, true in life. Halion is shining a light on the assists. An official partner of U.S. soccer, they got a whole lineup of brands ready to deliver for you. So here they are. Sensodyne Dentist Recommended Defense of your sensitive teeth Centrum Fueling your day with science backed nutrients. Advil, of course. Powerful inflammation fighting pain relief. Voltaren Arthritis Gel helps penetrate deep, keeps the joints moving and Tums ready to counterattack with fast heartburn relief. These are brands that are ready to deliver your essential wellness assists because every goal starts with an assist. Learn how Halion can assist your game day goals at.

[Daniel Cormier]

This is Daniel Cormier from the Daniel Cormier Show. This podcast is sponsored by Total Wireless, the official wireless partner of ufc. All UFC fighters know power doesn't wait in the octagon or outside of it. You either make the move or you miss the moment. That's why you need a network that's as powerful as you are. With Total Wireless, you get unlimited 5G data keeping you in on all the action, from the walkouts to the knockouts. You'll never miss a moment. That's coverage that you can count on for every single round. So when the moment happens, you're not catching up. You're already there. Now that that's a total power move. In the ufc, power isn't given, it's taken. So make your total power move today. Visit totalwireless.com or stop by your neighborhood. Total Wireless Store 5G access requires a 5G capable device in a 5G service area. Monthly rates on the Total Base 5G Unlimited plan for new subscribers applies only to the monthly rate for your plan. Additional terms apply. See website for details.

[Rory]

Awkward time to ask this, but. Hey, did you download the trail map? Yeah, no, I don't need to.

[Maul]

I. I don't understand.

[Rory]

You're trusting your signal out here?

[Damaris]

I'm trusting T Mobile. They have the best network. And if we end up in bumtots nowhere, well, we've got T Satellite for backup.

[Colin Coward]

Whoa.

[Rory]

I don't trust my carrier that much. We'll just use your phone as a flashlight.

[Maul]

With America's best network and T Satellite,

[Rory]

we're keeping you connected in places you never thought possible.

[Damaris]

And if you switch today, you get

[Rory]

free phones for zero down and only

[Maul]

25 bucks a month per line for four lines.

[Colin Coward]

Find out more@t mobile.com or visit your local store.

[Rory]

Best Mobile Network Based on analysis by Ooklab speed test intelligence data 2H 2025 with 24 monthly bill credits and 4 eligible port in on essentials for well qualified customers with autopay plus taxes, fees and $35 connection charge per line. Credits and imbalance due if you pay off earlier. Cancel Contact Us Finance Agreement example $299.99 Moto Edge 5G required T Satellite available with compatible device in most outdoor areas in the US where you can see the sky. Included with experience beyond $10 a month. However, News Monthly cancel anytime visit t

[Maul]

mobile.com

[Damaris]

I hate it here. I can't live like this. Come stop being a hoe and just let me love you.

[Maul]

Stop being a hoe. It's hilarious.

[Damaris]

Crying yo. I was like, I cannot get back out here. But it. I'm back out here now. Up.

[Colin Coward]

See?

[Maul]

Back outside. What?

[Damaris]

I'm fine. I'm trying to find. I've been cuffed up too long. Let me remind. Yeah. Cardi.

[Maul]

That spoke to your soul, huh? It's gonna speak to your soul.

[Damaris]

Me and go speed dating and find some hoes. Me and you.

[Maul]

I'm down.

[Damaris]

You don't. For real. Would you go speed dating?

[Daniel Cormier]

Yeah.

[Damaris]

Okay. I'mma find the ones with bad.

[Maul]

I'm not looking for nobody at the speed date.

[Rory]

I'm just gonna speed D day that

[Damaris]

has the bad speed dat be have bad.

[Rory]

I don't know, I've never done but bad.

[Damaris]

Regular women though. Like the. Like the J. Cole fans. Fans.

[Maul]

All right, hold on. What? What?

[Rory]

That speed dating is like cuck dating to me. How are you just watching the girl you like talk to 50 men in one second?

[Damaris]

It's not 50. It be like 12 and it's for like 60 seconds.

[Rory]

And like imagine if you cuz it. The girls move or the guys move.

[Damaris]

The girls move. No, the guys move. The guys move.

[Rory]

Okay, but you still in the same rotation, right? Like, what if I don't even know more but he's ahead of me and we like the whole time I'm trying to date, all I can hear is him making every girl laugh after I didn't make her laugh. You know how weird that must feel? That's why speed dating would be rough. Yeah, you can't.

[Maul]

You gotta speed date.

[Rory]

It's just so much going on.

[Maul]

Yeah, it's a lot. That's a lot. I mean, I'm down to go just to have fun with you, but that'll be fun.

[Rory]

And then the girl that doesn't like the girl doesn't move. She can hear the other guy use the same lines, one table over. Like there's no winning in that entire thing.

[Maul]

Yeah, see I'm. I'm. But I'm. I would be a bad speed data. Because if I'm hitting up with my funnies and she ain't laughing like, look, she laughed. I think she's the one like, yeah, she laughed. She thought I was. She thought I was great.

[Damaris]

Number three thought I was hilarious.

[Maul]

She thought I was great. Like, I don't know why you not laughing, but whatever.

[Rory]

And so do you exchange numbers? How does it work?

[Damaris]

I think if you like them at the end, you like exchange.

[Maul]

So you get 60 seconds to get your off.

[Damaris]

60 seconds to get your off.

[Rory]

That's how people get.

[Maul]

I'm coming in hot.

[Damaris]

Coming. What you saying? Come on, do it right now. 60 seconds. We start in now.

[Maul]

Favorite position. Have you on the first date before? How long did it last? Did you like it? Spit a swallow.

[Damaris]

Oh my.

[Maul]

Yeah, you got to 60 seconds that

[Rory]

we're only 10 seconds in. Yeah, I'm looking at the clock.

[Maul]

I'm. You got to go to it.

[Damaris]

I'm not comfortable answering any of those questions, sir.

[Maul]

Why are you here?

[Damaris]

Because I'm trying to get in a relationship. I'm not just trying to.

[Maul]

Okay, so you're trying in a relationship. What are you looking for?

[Damaris]

I'm looking for a guy that's like nice, sweet, honest.

[Maul]

At a speed date.

[Damaris]

Yeah.

[Maul]

Nobody's honest at a speed day. We got 60 seconds to lie.

[Damaris]

Nobody's at a speed date.

[Maul]

I at a speed date. I'm here every month. You gotta get your up, you gotta get your over.

[Rory]

You guys have 10 more seconds.

[Maul]

You gotta get your off.

[Damaris]

I think. I think you're a serial killer and I think I'm okay. But I did enjoy this time with you. You were funny.

[Rory]

Switch.

[Maul]

All right, bye.

[Rory]

All right, here's the thing. Let's say there's 20 girls there. Maul is definitely for just by sheer numbers, he's three girls from there. Based off that approach, for sure. God, I didn't say all, but there's definitely three girls that are definitely into that exact.

[Maul]

Knocking three. Three shots down that you come with that energy. I go 3 for 12. But I'm not leaving here with anything in my book bag.

[Rory]

Three is. Is crazy.

[Maul]

Yeah, three for 12. I went three for 12 tonight. I cuz coach put me in.

[Rory]

All right, but did that. That probably left more of an impression. Even if it was a creepy one or hypersexual one to.

[Maul]

Everybody will be talking about me.

[Rory]

Let's. Let's start the clock now. What's your name?

[Damaris]

Damaris.

[Rory]

Oh, like, what are you into? Like, what type of stuff do you like to do?

[Damaris]

I like to read. I like to dance. I like to cook. I like to entertain my friends. I'm a family oriented person. How. How about you?

[Rory]

Okay. I like outdoor sports and you know, like I'm really into reading as well. Like last index, he's gay.

[Daniel Cormier]

Like what.

[Rory]

What is leaving a lasting impression what my bullshit or what he did? Yeah, because he's. You're gonna wonder about him after speed dating is over.

[Damaris]

There's a middle ground though. There's a middle ground.

[Rory]

Like, yeah, that dude, you're gonna look him up online to like really find that guy to figure out what Was wrong.

[Maul]

You're gonna be mad you didn't take my number.

[Damaris]

No. I'm coming in hot. What time is it? We starting at 36. Hold on. Time. So why are you here? Cuz you way too fine to be single.

[Rory]

Talking to me or the guy next to me? There's. There's too many people going. Sir, can we start the clock again? I don't know who he's talking to.

[Maul]

You talking to me or him?

[Damaris]

I'm talking to you. See you got. You see how he got nervous?

[Rory]

He got nervous.

[Colin Coward]

All right.

[Rory]

So on me.

[Damaris]

All right. Okay.

[Rory]

Three, two, one, go.

[Damaris]

Okay, so you way too fine to be single. What you doing here?

[Rory]

You. You probably said that to the last three guys.

[Damaris]

Does it matter?

[Rory]

Yo, she. She said the same thing to you.

[Damaris]

Does it matter if I'm saying it to you right now? What's up?

[Rory]

But you said it one minute ago to somebody else.

[Damaris]

It doesn't matter. Why do you keep worrying about him when I'm right here?

[Rory]

How are cuz we sitting thigh to thigh?

[Damaris]

What's your name?

[Rory]

My name is Rory.

[Damaris]

Do you have any kids?

[Maul]

Yes.

[Damaris]

Can you show me a picture of her?

[Rory]

No.

[Damaris]

Do you want any more?

[Rory]

Not with somebody that says the same thing the last three guys.

[Damaris]

Why did you come to speed dating if you so worried about what the other men do? And I meet somebody here for him.

[Rory]

No, I'm not. We're just happen to be sitting next to each other and saying the same thing.

[Damaris]

He's too nervous. He's shaking. I got him shaking. He blushing and shit. Like, come on now.

[Rory]

Come on. Yes, I would like kids eventually.

[Damaris]

You would? Okay. So are you interested in like casual dating? Are you looking for something serious? Like what prompted you to go.

[Rory]

I'm looking for casual into serious.

[Maul]

Okay.

[Rory]

Rent to buy.

[Damaris]

917392.

[Maul]

Yeah. Wait, that. Got the number. Yo, man, see you didn't think my

[Rory]

rent to buy line was fine.

[Maul]

He's a serial killer.

[Rory]

You can't get.

[Maul]

Nah, see. Nah, see, that's why I can't go speed then, because I'll yell at. But yo, he got your number. Nah, come on.

[Rory]

Yo, what's funny is I. I would. I'd probably call her.

[Maul]

No, you wouldn't. That's not the girl you want.

[Damaris]

Want. Why is. Hey, what the. Why is that not the girl you want?

[Maul]

No, you don't want that girl.

[Damaris]

Why? What's wrong with me? Mall?

[Maul]

No, nothing. Is not you. Nothing is wrong with you. I'm just saying you don't want the girl that A conversation like that, you don't want her number.

[Rory]

Oh, I do, cuz that's hilarious.

[Maul]

See, he's weird.

[Damaris]

I forget why you don't like smooth women more.

[Rory]

That was funny. Yeah, that wasn't smooth.

[Damaris]

That was just cuz you made it awkward. I know. I was risen you up and you kept being weird. I was smooth.

[Rory]

Saying you too fine to be here is not rizzing it up.

[Maul]

You too fine to be here. I ain't never seen you around here before.

[Damaris]

Yeah, where you come from?

[Rory]

Because I really would have met that if we were being serious. I would have met that with. Well, why are you here? You don't think highly of yourself.

[Maul]

No, that's what you got to say. Because I knew you was here. But see, I knew you was here.

[Damaris]

See me, I don't even have Riz.

[Maul]

I don't even. I don't. I don't even really do it.

[Rory]

I have reality.

[Maul]

I have reality. I like that.

[Rory]

That rich is cute at the party and don't. I can do that for fun. For funsies at the party.

[Damaris]

I've never seen you give Riz. When you be talking to bitches, you be like, you just like you. They love you because you're like awkward, funny.

[Rory]

Peach, you've seen me in action.

[Maul]

Remarkable Peach. Remarkable. Ah, remarkable Peach.

[Damaris]

Don't piss me off.

[Maul]

Peach be in the back like.

[Rory]

He's so good, man.

[Maul]

He's just so good.

[Damaris]

How does he do it?

[Maul]

Look at him, man. Look at him go, man.

[Rory]

I was using that I feel like we've known each other line before. It was mainstream.

[Maul]

Yeah.

[Rory]

Feel like we've known each other forever.

[Maul]

You was indie with that.

[Rory]

It's like it's definitely grassroots. I was fat beats at the. I was the raucous of that line. Yeah, like not knowing only known each other tonight. I just feels like we've known each other forever. I'm so comfortable around you.

[Damaris]

I'm not going to lie. I always thought that was weird. The moment you say I can't like, oh, I don't bring my around my friends. Why? Like, I mean, it depends on the type of.

[Rory]

I'm on your side. Why you threaten me?

[Maul]

All of my friends.

[Rory]

Any girl I have, I bring around my friends.

[Damaris]

Yeah, you can bring it depends on a cuz there's certain that's too serious. You don't need to be around nigga friend. Nigga don't got no friends. And they got a he worked on. They got certain you don't need to be around it. But it depends what type of you deal with because you don't need to

[Maul]

know all of my friends. I do you talking about these is killers and for real.

[Damaris]

She don't play like that like any

[Maul]

don't matter who the BR is. You don't need to know all of these. You need to know all of my friends.

[Damaris]

My name is going to be. I I know that with the jet had 50 years.

[Maul]

He gave it back after 20. Yeah, you what you need to know him for?

[Damaris]

I don't need to know him. But what the you around him for and if you hanging around. So this supposed to if you and I get married and that's your man. I know he did that. That he went to jail for.

[Maul]

He gave it back by mistake.

[Damaris]

You wouldn't invite him to your wedding. Yeah, that's different. So why wouldn't I be able to meet him?

[Maul]

I ain't say you couldn't meet him.

[Damaris]

That's what I'm talking about. You think I want to be friends with your friends? No. Yeah, that's kind of how. No, that's not what I'm saying. I don't want to be friends with your friends. But if you tell me

[Rory]

that's major.

[Maul]

We out.

[Damaris]

Okay. Cool

[Maul]

introduction. Huh?

[Damaris]

Your man, your boyfriend, all his man. So you guys take your pretty ass home. Yeah, I know. I know your like his man's. I know. I know you gotta stay your ass. That's whack do that.

[Maul]

That's corny though.

[Damaris]

I ain't gonna lie.

[Maul]

Like it's too many to your man

[Damaris]

bro is not making that's crazy. Like if you feel I'm saying like after the get done.

[Maul]

Like if it's his main joint even when he finished with it you can't. I don't really want to. Because you assist. Yeah like it was a time you assist. So I don't want to you you understand?

[Damaris]

I mean that's that I mean it's cool to try saying political. It sounds like but if say what if she throwing it at you? He funny. What if she throwing it at you gotta catch that.

[Maul]

That's not a lie.

[Rory]

No no no.

[Damaris]

Be pretending they don't like and they do. And then when the girl. I don't care about that. What if he told me your farts

[Maul]

really stink bad like yo said this far.

[Damaris]

Oh, that got a stitch but that

[Maul]

yeah her stink told me that like your word of mama.

[Damaris]

If I don't eat her.

[Maul]

So it tastes a little. It's a little too zingy. It's like I Don't mind. Zingy. Zingy. It's a little too zingy. What if you already told me that you thought it at me. I already know that's a little too zingy. I'm gonna test it out. I'm test it out for myself. See if my man was bugging.

[Colin Coward]

Yeah,

[Maul]

That's a fact.

[Damaris]

No, I gotta know. I gotta so sit around and they say like that about they make is after.

[Maul]

He ain't with her no more.

[Damaris]

Yeah. Oh, he hurt. Yeah, he bitter. I do it too.

[Maul]

Yeah, that's what you think, that he bit him.

[Damaris]

Cuz what you mean? I do it too. We don't with a no more. We don't tell our friends. Saying I talk my about my while I'm with him. Like it don't take me to leave the to talk. I talk about my. You can sit a cup on that. I'm not arguing a who ass fatter than mine. Not doing that. Not doing that. Got me.

[Maul]

Nah.

[Damaris]

With a thick is crazy.

[Maul]

Oh my God, man.

[Damaris]

You look like you could go in there and really cook some.

[Maul]

Really make some. Is in the gym doing squats right now trying to get their shits. Now.

[Damaris]

I like fato ass. I'm not gonna lie.

[Maul]

I love

[Damaris]

she do she be like. I be like that got the yams. That just. That's too mature for me.

[Maul]

Listen, listen, listen. It's a reason why is doing all them squats and like that trying to get they together.

[Damaris]

It's broads that like that. No, your flabby asses is not. I don't care what anybody say. That is not sexy. When I watch you walk away and your ass is shaking from flab. Not even from like, you know, it's just flab at bottom just moving.

[Rory]

I'm trying to grab the rag for you.

[Damaris]

You don't need to lay down.

[Maul]

Lay down.

[Damaris]

Now I have clarity. Watch his whole ass crack was out

[Rory]

when he got out the car.

[Damaris]

Some bent down to get paper. I see regular ass cracks out, not skinny. But I'm saying I. I probably didn't

[Maul]

like got caught slipping like that before.

[Rory]

Mad ashy ass crack.

[Damaris]

Ashy ass back.

[Maul]

Mad ashy.

[Damaris]

Go ahead. See y' all the same math though. Like once I see your ass ashy is you kind of like up? I don't know. I feel like is just crazy.

[Daniel Cormier]

I don't.

[Maul]

So if you sitting in the passenger

[Damaris]

seat and you hop out and I.

[Maul]

No matter what a driving don't matter. You seen. You seen a little ass you ever

[Rory]

ate Ass not from a woman.

[Damaris]

You said we could. We could edit out. Nah, don't say we ain't edit.

[Rory]

Yeah, no, no, cuz I. I don't even like how the energy.

[Damaris]

You had an episode at a free. I mean, you ate some ass before.

[Rory]

You cannot look at my ass and say, no, I ain't with you after you ate my ass.

[Damaris]

That's what I'm saying.

[Maul]

I don't play that.

[Colin Coward]

But if you get.

[Maul]

No, you cannot do that to me.

[Rory]

Everything can't change. Yes, yes, yes.

[Maul]

I go Lamborghini. Once you do that.

[Damaris]

If you let them all turn into a yoga instructor.

[Maul]

You heard I'm Optimus proud. Yeah. What? She going down on the. Oh, now you be trying to encourage it. I be letting you know I don't like that I screwed up. Like, oh, all right. Like, stay there. Like, yeah, right there. Like, the head, the head, the head. Like, that's what I. The head, the head, the head,

[Rory]

the head.

[Maul]

No balls. You don't got to worry about no balls.

[Damaris]

Touch the balls.

[Rory]

That's for y'.

[Damaris]

All. That's. That's. Bro, if you.

[Rory]

If you.

[Damaris]

I ain't going to lie. You let a lick the gooch, then you.

[Daniel Cormier]

You.

[Damaris]

You play.

[Maul]

Gooch is definitely too close.

[Damaris]

You trying to be. That's. That's emergency purposes only.

[Maul]

No, it ain't. That's a regular too gooch trying to do some.

[Damaris]

I feel like.

[Rory]

No, I don't.

[Damaris]

That's emergency purpose. You tell girls from the beginning that you like your ass a. Or you just let them discover that.

[Maul]

No, I never tell them nothing. They probably know it. They probably heard we spoke about this. I said, yo, I don't know what it is.

[Damaris]

My home girl yesterday, about her eating asses. I'm like, stop.

[Colin Coward]

All my home.

[Damaris]

A lot of my home girls eat ass.

[Maul]

That's what I'm saying. I don't. Yo, I've never.

[Damaris]

Let's clarify some Run.

[Maul]

I've never requested it. I've never requested it. I've never requested it.

[Damaris]

Okay.

[Colin Coward]

I'mma be.

[Damaris]

I'mma be honest. Like, all right. Have I done it? Yes, but I have to have a. Like, you got to be clean.

[Maul]

You got to know the hygiene.

[Damaris]

I got to know the man. It got to be. Got to be clean. You got to be. Obviously something he's into. Something that you got to have a. A relationship has had to build for

[Maul]

us to have understand you. Or you did it.

[Damaris]

You tried. You just went, no, no. If you ask me automatic, I'mma think you gay. And then I'm not going to want to do it. You get what I'm saying? Like you tried on a.

[Rory]

You try a.

[Maul]

You try the. You get your head smacked.

[Damaris]

No, no, I won't, I won't. Not me. Maybe a woman, she just doing. I have a way of doing what I'm saying.

[Maul]

This what I'm saying. Saying, right. I'm never gonna like try to violate

[Damaris]

and I'm saying your ass.

[Maul]

So like, I'm not trying to notice what I'm saying. Try to like throw in the ass and all that. You throw elbow at a and all that. That's understandable. Like the is you doing. Like, that's what I'm saying. Like you try looking at pow. Is you doing.

[Damaris]

Hold up.

[Maul]

Surely you bugging like.

[Damaris]

But I would never just do it like, that's so annoying watching 48 first.

[Maul]

48 like this. You found a pretty licking on you. Like, man, go ahead, shorty. I'm not stopping nothing but traffic mall.

[Damaris]

I fuck with it more though. I ate a fine ass, nigga. But no, for real, for real.

[Rory]

On some real shit mall doesn't stop at a red light.

[Damaris]

It's not every man.

[Rory]

Like, that was funny. Fuck, yo.

[Damaris]

There's certain men that like, if I deal with him, his whole bop, his whole aura, everything about him, like, if he would let me do something like that to him, I would be turned off. I mean, idiot, get what I'm saying?

[Maul]

Let you lick his ass?

[Damaris]

Yeah, like, because that's not his. That's not the over he gave me, okay? That's not his bop. That's not his.

[Rory]

That's nothing like a street.

[Maul]

Like a street ain't supposed to get his ass.

[Damaris]

It don't match.

[Rory]

I just don't. I don't know how to explain it.

[Damaris]

There's not super dominant men. Like men who are just dominant in every aspect of their life. You even let me get their ass. It's not that they're not supposed to exactly sure.

[Maul]

Like, bitches got long hair. I got no hair.

[Damaris]

Bitches got nice neck nails.

[Maul]

My shits is ugly. Skin is smooth.

[Damaris]

My is ashy rough. Their hands is.

[Maul]

I'm the opposite of a. The exact.

[Damaris]

I don't want. I like like they assayed. I watch them squirm. I like like, I like seeing a squirm.

[Maul]

Trying to get away from that. I might have did that before.

[Rory]

You know what I'm saying?

[Damaris]

I might have did that before. You're supposed to want to eat a ass.

[Maul]

I'm saying I might have did that.

[Damaris]

Before that's day two. Want to eat? No ass if you let me ride your face. You're eating my ass if I get on top.

[Maul]

Yeah.

[Damaris]

I don't be playing that like like

[Maul]

like like bend over.

[Damaris]

I bust.

[Maul]

I'm. I'll bust you down and all that.

[Damaris]

How long was you locked? Sex is boring.

[Maul]

A long time. Sex is boring.

[Damaris]

Yours. You said you just you don't get into all that. I can't ride your face to my ass. Don't touch your nose.

[Maul]

Oh, what are you doing Legs way up here.

[Damaris]

Oh, what are you doing? Come back.

[Maul]

All you need to do is smell like perfume. You the that's on honey packs delug.

[Damaris]

I d don't I don't with athletes ecstasy. My be athletic if you smell wake up at 6:30 in the morning.

[Maul]

I'm just saying if a smell like perfume I am ready to go. Yeah.

[Damaris]

You going over?

[Maul]

I did over going.

[Damaris]

Yeah.

[Maul]

My shit be leaking. We got egg whites all over the horny.

[Damaris]

That's too.

[Maul]

You talking about. I don't want that. I'm not that horny. You talking about.

[Rory]

Yeah.

[Damaris]

I leak. I want you to do like no hiney action. I'm doing that no hiney action. That's my new shop. He like that's my new. Somebody got caught with some drugs underneath

[Rory]

their toupee in Colombia. There was a drug dealer went right. What's the version of TSA for Columbia?

[Damaris]

Tsa, tsa.

[Maul]

It's everywhere. It's tsa.

[Damaris]

TSA everywhere. But yeah.

[Maul]

What you mean for the airport?

[Rory]

No, it's not. No way.

[Damaris]

Well security.

[Rory]

TSA has to have America at the end.

[Damaris]

Cta, cta, cca. Cca.

[Rory]

All right, so he went through Columbia Aviation Authority. And they how I even saw this clip. I thought initially they were cutting somebody's like top of their head off. When I saw Columbia drug shit. And I I scrolled past, I was like, I want to see anyone get their brains fucked up, taken out. Kept scrolling. Saw a different angle of it and they were cutting his to pay off. Where he had a bunch of coke under his wig and got caught.

[Maul]

Somebody snitched it's a rat. That's one of the greatest hiding places ever.

[Damaris]

No, they check my wig when I'm going through tsa. So did ask. Yeah, I've definitely had my wig. Check my weave check for sure.

[Rory]

Wait, how do they do that?

[Damaris]

They go in there with like a little stick and they poke around or they'll pat your head down. Yeah. All right.

[Rory]

Now I'm adding up in My head.

[Colin Coward]

Why?

[Rory]

I keep asking Ma why he wears a hat with the best hairline of all time. This has been a toupee the entire time.

[Maul]

Me.

[Rory]

You're bald with some drugs.

[Maul]

I'm walking around with a.

[Rory]

You've been a mule from here to your crib the entire time.

[Maul]

I didn't move this brick yet. That's what you trying to. I didn't move this work yet. I'm still.

[Rory]

This entire time, I was like, yo, Maul has the greatest hair I've ever seen, and he hides it constantly.

[Maul]

Oh, that's hilarious. Somebody ratted on Homie, man, that they just pat his head down.

[Rory]

It must be scary times that you have to go the toupee route.

[Maul]

No, no, you gotta get.

[Rory]

You gotta get in Colombia.

[Maul]

You gotta get creative.

[Rory]

Go like, I don't know, a boat.

[Maul]

I mean, I ain't gonna lie. China Transport. Coke in Colombia at this point is pointless. I mean, they know all. They've seen it all. They know all the tricks, all the hiding spots at this point. Send that in the mail and hope it lands. Like, I.

[Rory]

That's why I'm curious how even drugs are moved now.

[Maul]

Yeah. Yeah. And the toupee is cr.

[Rory]

How does. How does the Lower east side continue to get coke if there's not poppy fields in New York?

[Maul]

It's not poppy.

[Rory]

That's the bagels.

[Damaris]

My bad.

[Maul]

It's more heroin. You talking about heroin?

[Rory]

I don't know drugs.

[Damaris]

Coca plant.

[Maul]

The cocoa. The cocoa leaf.

[Rory]

Yes. Well, heroin too. It's the same thing now. At this point, they just merge the drugs.

[Maul]

It's all fentanyl.

[Rory]

I really thought they were cutting somebody's head off. Then I started to see the toupee compared to the skin of him, and now I see why. He was easily.

[Maul]

Yeah.

[Rory]

He was like, listen, that toupe didn't match anything.

[Maul]

Yeah. That texture, that color, that. That hair looked like a rug. He was like, come on, man. You look suspicious. You look suspicious.

[Rory]

And then he started crying. What do you do at that point when they start cutting off your. Your wig?

[Maul]

Oh, you know what he started doing?

[Rory]

Snitching.

[Maul]

Absolutely. I'm not moving it for.

[Rory]

This is.

[Maul]

What's the name's work. Yeah. You know what's great?

[Rory]

Allegedly. You know what cocaine is? Is that worth that? Trying to go through TSA with that amount of coke?

[Maul]

I mean, if he's going every weekend.

[Rory]

Okay.

[Maul]

If he's. Probably how they caught him taking a quick trip somewhere, like, you know, sir,

[Rory]

this is too many weddings.

[Maul]

Yeah. Too many Family reunions. How you guys?

[Rory]

That's rough. Well, we had an idea right before we recorded that we were gonna write Pusha T bars before he could about this entire topic.

[Maul]

You think they stopped? That's why the Clips album didn't come out. Cause this happened. And it was like, wait, we have

[Rory]

to redo the whole.

[Maul]

We gotta do the whole album over now.

[Rory]

Cause even like back in the Twitter days when shit would happen, there would be the. What would be the fab bar to this current event, and I wanted to try that. You didn't wanna write nothing cause you scared.

[Damaris]

It's cool.

[Maul]

I don't rap. You know that.

[Rory]

I mean, according to you, you won the wrist challenge. Was that not rap?

[Maul]

That was more poetry.

[Rory]

What is poetry is push not like coke poetry.

[Maul]

It's coke poetry for sure.

[Damaris]

Okay.

[Rory]

All right, I'll give you five minutes.

[Maul]

No, I'm cool.

[Damaris]

Well, me and Rory took 15, but how many balls? Well, you go. You go first.

[Rory]

No, I didn't say mine out loud.

[Damaris]

Copy, paste. I'm crying. Copy and paste yours and send and put it on the dock so Josh can have it. So we can pull it up on the screen while you're reading or while you're rapping and then pull up the Drug Dealers Anonymous.

[Rory]

Wait, hold on. I wrote mine to. To push a T cadence when he was on Flex doing acapella. I didn't write to a Pusha T beat.

[Maul]

That's so fine to beat.

[Damaris]

I didn't write to anything, but I just know how to rap like Pusha T. Cuz I listen to Pusha T. So I know if you pull up a a Pusha T beat, I will

[Daniel Cormier]

be able to rap.

[Maul]

It's all the same pocket.

[Damaris]

No, it's not all the same.

[Maul]

Although that's what you saying. My bad.

[Rory]

Nah, but every Pusha T beat is the same, right? That's what she's saying.

[Damaris]

Nah, that's not why you ain't pick him in our.

[Rory]

Our beat contest.

[Maul]

Then she did.

[Colin Coward]

She had.

[Maul]

What's the name of the you got to push clips beat?

[Rory]

Right?

[Damaris]

I was gonna do grinding, but I didn't.

[Maul]

Oh, you had a bunch of Neptunes. That's why I thought it was a clip.

[Damaris]

Speak. Yeah, copy and paste yours. Put it on the doc so that Josh.

[Rory]

Oh, I sent it to Josh. Nah, but see, mine got entendres and shit.

[Damaris]

Now scroll down so you don't see mine. Scroll down, Josh. Thank you. I don't want him seeing my shit.

[Rory]

I'm gonna bite her shit off the Gate.

[Maul]

Yeah, yeah, that's what she said.

[Rory]

I got mine right here.

[Maul]

Nah, she trying to say you take. You steal bars.

[Rory]

No, you got to go first, since.

[Damaris]

Nah, you go first. I went first last time for the Riz Challenge.

[Maul]

Talk your shit, baby D. Can I pee at least? Yeah, he got to go pee. He going to write more bars. He going to the bathroom.

[Rory]

I will leave my phone right there. I will leave my phone.

[Maul]

He got a pee pee. I will leave my phone.

[Damaris]

He got a pee pee before he brought.

[Rory]

I've had to piss since I played. Since I played the Janet record, yo.

[Maul]

He got a pee pee before he wrapped. Yo, that's crazy.

[Rory]

I've really been holding in a piss.

[Damaris]

All right, go ahead.

[Rory]

I'll leave my phone right there. I won't. I sent him the first order.

[Damaris]

Okay, now don't. He'll change it. Leave your phone. Go. Go to the bathroom mall. Let's keep potting him.

[Rory]

Hold up. Go ahead.

[Maul]

He gotta go pee pee and got a pp. So you got your bars ready?

[Damaris]

Yeah, I got my bars ready.

[Maul]

How many bars you wrote?

[Damaris]

I gotta count. I think it's, like, like, eight. The.

[Rory]

I looked over here, she had a whole chorus in a bridge. I thought we were doing, like, four, you know, like four bars, Something light.

[Maul]

She got a.

[Rory]

She has been writing for weeks.

[Damaris]

I got, like, a 12. You just. You just came up to me like, yo, you want to do this? I'm like, all right. It. I did it. What Rory doesn't like is that, like, even though he's, like, the artist friend, like, if you give me a challenge to write, I'm gonna bust it out in 2.5 seconds.

[Maul]

Well, we've actually heard you rap before, so.

[Daniel Cormier]

Exactly.

[Maul]

We know that this is what you do. This is your. This is what you've been waiting on your whole life, this moment right here to get your off. Listen, waiting your whole life for this moment.

[Damaris]

Not my whole life, but I really do. Like, I really used to rap.

[Maul]

For real, baby. Do you got to play a. A song? Actual song? You did, though?

[Damaris]

I was on a. So I used to be in a.

[Maul]

You recorded a song before?

[Damaris]

I used to be in a Christian rap group. Yeah.

[Maul]

A Christian rap group?

[Damaris]

Yeah.

[Maul]

Why are we just hearing about this?

[Damaris]

It's called Hard As Nails, and I know that one day.

[Maul]

Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, Wait a minute. Wait a minute. Slow down. We going too fast. You was in a Christian rap group, and the name y' all landed on for the group was Hard as nails.

[Damaris]

Well, that's because that was the name of the ministry. It was Hard As Nails Ministry. Yeah, Hard As Nails Ministry. We were the Coolidge Kids. And. Yeah, I can't find the video, though.

[Maul]

Why would y' all choose that name? Why would they choose that name?

[Damaris]

I was. It was being led by adult people, and I was like. I want to say, like, 11. 11. I was young.

[Maul]

Yeah, they should have. You can't say hard as nails. And we're a Christian rap group. It's like, what, he died for our sins.

[Damaris]

Yeah, that's what. It's me. Hard as Nails. Yeah.

[Maul]

No, we don't know. That's not what we do.

[Damaris]

I can't find that video.

[Maul]

Nobody is anywhere paying homage to Martin Luther King by calling themselves the Speeding Bullets. Like, what are we talking about? Like, you don't do that. Hard as Nest.

[Damaris]

Yeah. I'm trying to see if I could find.

[Maul]

Man, y' all are crazy.

[Damaris]

I wonder if I could find it on YouTube. But, yeah, I was in a Christian rap group. I might be able to find the song. Yeah, with a Z. Yeah, but that's. He's different. That's not us. I can't find it. It's. There was a. It was like a music video. It was everything. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Maul]

Maris was in a Christian rap group. And the name of the verse was.

[Damaris]

I think the verse was just updating you on. I think it was by rep Christ. Cuz I'm hard as nails. I'm not doing this just for the record sales. This is Maris on the mic. Y' all know how I spit. And if you ain't repping Christ, then you need to sit. Better yet, stand.

[Maul]

You need to suck a dick. I about say no. Y' all was really pushing the Christian rap thing. I'm sorry, go ahead.

[Damaris]

I lost my place. I don't even remember.

[Maul]

This is Maris. If you wanna. You need.

[Damaris]

I think I said it was. This is Maris on the mic. Y' all know how I spit. And if you ain't repping Christ, then you need to sit. Better yet, stand up. Cause you need this message. It's better than doing drugs, talking about sex and something. It was something.

[Rory]

Mm. I lost a friend over that.

[Maul]

Sexton.

[Damaris]

No Christian rap.

[Rory]

Christian rap.

[Maul]

You and Lecrae not cool no more.

[Rory]

No, no, no. That's when I was growing up.

[Maul]

Oh.

[Rory]

Oh, no, it's cool. One of our friends.

[Maul]

I thought he's actually one of our friends.

[Rory]

We didn't know was like that religious. We didn't. We was. We didn't hang out with him, like, on the weekends. And he showed us a video in high school of his Christian rap group, and his name was Disciple Jeff. And.

[Maul]

All right, man.

[Rory]

And then we started clowning him and called him Disciple Jeff, like, in the hallways and everything. And they stopped away from the studio. Like, we. We stop. He stopped being friends with us.

[Maul]

That was his rap name.

[Rory]

Disciple. His name was Jeff, but he was Disciple Jeff on the mic.

[Maul]

And y' all started calling him Disciple Jeff. And he didn't like.

[Colin Coward]

Like that?

[Rory]

Yeah, I mean, we're. We were making fun of him. I'm not proud of it, but yeah, he showed. He showed us, like, his video, like, yo, yo, check me out. And he showed us a video of him at church with his rap group, of him on the mic and.

[Maul]

Oh, but he didn't. He didn't tell you he didn't have a rap?

[Rory]

No, he.

[Colin Coward]

He's.

[Rory]

No, he said his name in the rap. I'm Disciple Jeff. I don't remember the rest of the bars. And then we just kept calling.

[Maul]

So how he get mad if he said he was Disciple Jeff and then y' all call him Disciple?

[Rory]

We weren't saying it. Making fun of.

[Damaris]

Of him.

[Rory]

It was a condescending way.

[Maul]

Yeah, but I can understand if he played that video for them and he

[Rory]

didn't have a rap name in confidence to his friends, thinking we were going to say something nice because he thought we were his friends and we clowned him instead. I. I totally understand why he stopped being friends with us.

[Maul]

So y' all was kids? Like, yeah, we were children, dude. Like, he got mad cuz y' all was being kids.

[Daniel Cormier]

Yeah.

[Maul]

Oh, my God. Disciple Jeff, wherever you are, hopefully you're doing well in life.

[Damaris]

Yo, Rory, please be.

[Rory]

Nobody can say they Disciple Jeff in front of me when I'm 15 and not think it's gonna.

[Maul]

They can't say it to me now. And I'm not gonna be like, I introduce. I'll introduce you to my friends at Disciple Jeff. Y' all met Disciple Jeff? Like, yeah, that's my. That's the homie.

[Rory]

And granted, I was going to church at that time, too, a different church, but I was like, you not a disciple either. Yo, you can't just say you a disciple.

[Maul]

You don't know why you say you're a dj. You know how to be a dj. It. Why not? I'm a disciple.

[Rory]

Fair.

[Maul]

Yeah.

[Rory]

What's up? You scared?

[Damaris]

No. You going.

[Rory]

I ain't had to go pee m. Oh, I don't need the. I don't need the screen.

[Maul]

This.

[Damaris]

The listeners have to see it. So put it back up there.

[Rory]

Oh, that's cool. They could even see my entendre in there.

[Damaris]

Down.

[Rory]

I didn't even rehearse this, though. That's why I asked you to put the. I mean, I guess we could keep this. Remember what I said to find the.

[Damaris]

This sounds like Pusha T. Go ahead.

[Rory]

No, I smoked this. I just don't think I'm gonna deliver it. Well. Okay, but, Pete, you have to cut the clip up. Well to give context of what we talking about. You sure you don't want to beat. Nah, nah. Because I was thinking the Flex Freestyle, okay. When he was sitting there in the suit with Kanye.

[Damaris]

Go ahead.

[Rory]

Virgin Air couldn't spot my disguise. Nested and weaving birds over friendly. I don't know.

[Maul]

I don't know if I like you. I don't know if you. I don't know if I like you trying to rap black. But I don't know.

[Rory]

I was. That was.

[Colin Coward]

I was trying to do.

[Maul]

Yeah, but I don't know if I like this. This probably was a bad idea. This is almost like blackface right now. Like, this is black voice. I don't like black voice.

[Rory]

They're gonna find this on my Facebook from 2006.

[Maul]

Yeah, this is black voice. I don't know if I like this.

[Damaris]

Yo. No, cuz. He tried to sound like Push. That's was so funny.

[Maul]

Oh, my God.

[Damaris]

All right, go ahead.

[Rory]

All right. But first of all, you ain't catch the first part. Virgin Air.

[Damaris]

Okay.

[Rory]

Only Damaris would catch that.

[Damaris]

I got it here.

[Maul]

I caught Virgin here.

[Rory]

Virgin Air couldn't catch my. Oh, see, I don't even know my bars. Should have rehearsed.

[Maul]

Yeah, you should have.

[Rory]

Even Push walks around the studio and tries to get it before he get in the booth. But you know, it's me, though. Push could never stop laughing.

[Maul]

I'm just waiting for you to rap.

[Damaris]

Just rat, bro.

[Rory]

Virgin Air couldn't spot my disguise. Nested weaving birds over friendly skies. Keep your mind clear is what I advise. Cause weighted thoughts is where your problems lie.

[Damaris]

Weighted thoughts.

[Rory]

I see you always pre check on those cosmetic that sound like Tupac.

[Maul]

That's so sad. Black Voice is crazy. Like you going crazy with black voice. Now you try to sound like all of us.

[Rory]

No, but Push sometimes has a pot cadence if you take the beat away.

[Maul]

Yeah, no, for sure, sure.

[Rory]

Yo, Peach, cut me back in on the. Keep all this, though, for Patreon. Always pre check those cosmetic and make sure only one thing is synthetic. That's where they drop the if you know, you know beat.

[Damaris]

Okay.

[Rory]

Yeah. It will go out, like, right after that.

[Maul]

Oh, yeah, yeah. Got you. Okay.

[Rory]

No, but let me break down the whole beat, like.

[Maul]

All right.

[Rory]

Virgin air you. You're aware of, but virgin hair, too is with weave. Like. Like, come on. Disguise. He had a toupee on. Nested like you. Birds do a nest. They weave it in. Weaving birds. Do you know what a weaving bird is?

[Maul]

What a weaving bird is?

[Rory]

Yeah, it's not weaving. It's a weave bird. They actually make nests and birds you're familiar with cocaine Friendly skies Always keep your mind clear.

[Damaris]

Clear like they're okay.

[Rory]

Clearly what I advise because weighted thoughts. He has the coke on his mind is where the problem lied. And then. Yeah, and then pre check cosmetics because someone is installing a toupee on you and it's actually synthetic hair. But now the drugs are synthetic. This might be be in 15 minutes. The greatest thing I've ever written. I actually walked to the bathroom proud of myself.

[Damaris]

Yeah, I'm proud of you too. You did a good job.

[Maul]

Proud of you.

[Rory]

I'm. I'mma Texas to push.

[Maul]

See what he thinks.

[Rory]

He can keep the publishing.

[Damaris]

Text him mine so we can. So he can say, well, which one

[Rory]

Sound more like, I wish I had a better delivery and I took some time to, like, rehearse it because I could have smoked this.

[Maul]

I got it. I feel what you. I feel you could have took it, though. Let's see what. What you did. I got.

[Rory]

Cut it up so I look ill. No.

[Maul]

All right, baby.

[Rory]

You want me to spin it again?

[Maul]

No, no, no. We got it. We got it. We got it. We got it. We good.

[Damaris]

All right. Only thing we have in common we bleed these.

[Rory]

She doing black voice, too? That's.

[Maul]

She's a black woman, though. She's a black.

[Damaris]

Oh, my God.

[Rory]

Yo, I got to tell you something. After this. Go ahead.

[Damaris]

Only thing we have in common we bleed these birds Basket weave like a pelican's thing Hidden mess since the feds want to check it Killed your best despite his efforts I climb out from the wreckers still moving keys like a janitor Arrogant tay I'm retainer can't trust an amateur she's eager she just had to learn that status she just had to earn Hiding bricks under wigs like we did a bad perm Virgin air

[Rory]

couldn't spot my disguise Nested weaving birds over friendly skies Keep your mind clear is what I advise cause weighted thoughts Is where your problems lie. Always pre check that cosmetic and make sure it's not the only thing that's synthetic.

[Maul]

Yo, Baby D smoked you, dog.

[Rory]

What?

[Maul]

She smoked? How are we gonna.

[Damaris]

We could go through my lines, too.

[Rory]

Wait, how did she smoke better than. This is the one time I actually believe I smoked her.

[Maul]

Cause she threw arrogant tay in there. That's known for the weave installation.

[Rory]

She stole a bar from Push. Still moving keys like janitor.

[Maul]

He said that.

[Damaris]

I didn't know he said that. I didn't know he said that.

[Rory]

Now every coke dealer on earth has said that. My homie around the block lock. That's 70 and said that she smoked you.

[Damaris]

How these birds Basket weave like a pelican's thing. Come on, now. Come on, now. Basket weave is a type of hair weave these birds. It's a pelican's thing. Like the basket weave. The. The weaving in the. Like in the basketball court. But it's a New Orleans pelicans triple.

[Rory]

I'm telling you. Guys, guys, come on. No, no, no, no, no. I'm with you. I'm with you.

[Damaris]

I'm not.

[Rory]

I'm not even gonna hate, but let's get some order in here. The topic was homie in Colombia that moved coke through his head.

[Colin Coward]

She just.

[Damaris]

She gave basket weave under your weave like a pelicans thing. Like New York. The fucking New Orleans pelicans birds which basket weave when they playing ball.

[Rory]

New Orleans. New Orleans has nothing to do with this topic whatsoever. You giving great pumpkins. I said virgin air hair the same entendre. Virgin air, which is the best weave. Virgin air, which is also something that goes international anytime we go international. What we fly. Virgin air. Couldn't spot my disguise. Nested weaving birds over friendly skies is 10 times better than everything that's on there.

[Colin Coward]

Not.

[Damaris]

It's not to the topic.

[Maul]

Yo, she smokes you, dog. It's okay.

[Damaris]

Oh, yo, yeah. Y' all can go back up to that. Yeah.

[Rory]

All right. Cannabis may say that I did a push.

[Damaris]

I did a push thing. Hidden message hieroglyphics. Since the feds want to check Push

[Rory]

would unclip his mic. If he said, oh, I just wrote down hieroglyphics, he would kill himself. Paraglipt anyway. Only Drew Ski's new skit says that,

[Damaris]

obviously because I'm acting as Push. Every single Push song. He gotta somehow diss somebody, so I had to dis kill your best. Despite his efforts, I climb out from the wreckage. That's a diss to whoever he's dissing this because he ought to dismay every song still moving keys like a janitor Arrogant tay on retainer can't trust an amateur she's eager she just had to learn that status she had to earn so the bitch that I still sent to the airport the wigs underneath the thing it don't matter the still hits

[Rory]

the point of the the exercise was if push was that person I ain't

[Maul]

going to lie still moving keys like a janitor Arrogant tay on retainer can't trust an amateur Josh, can you google

[Rory]

every rapper on earth that said moving keys like a janitor?

[Maul]

She smoked you.

[Rory]

You might as well rhyme

[Maul]

rapper that used to. She's the latest rapper to use that.

[Damaris]

I'm cuz I'm at the age where I'm not going somewhere I can't sit down. So there are parties that exist.

[Maul]

Damaris, you are 30.

[Damaris]

I'm 31, but I'm not going somewhere I can't sit down.

[Rory]

I kind of felt that way at like 25.

[Maul]

Yo, I'm. I can't. I'm not going away if I can't sit down.

[Rory]

Yeah, you just standing and roaming like. Nah.

[Damaris]

Unless it's.

[Rory]

We need. We need an. I'm not saying a section or thing. We just need. This is where our is.

[Damaris]

Yeah.

[Rory]

Like, everyone can roam for a second, but we know where home is. It's in this corner of the party.

[Damaris]

Unless it's out. Unless it's somewhere outside. Like, if it's outside, like the outside parties, like, how do you say palooza used to be and shit like that. When it's outside, then I have no problem with that. But when we crowded in and there's people bumping past me and I don't have nowhere to sit and I got high ass heels on and my fudgeing feet hurt. I've gotten past that age. I can't do that shit. I need sunny somewhere. So now. Or I won't be there.

[Maul]

No, it's next after that baby. When you get to that point. What kids.

[Rory]

It's true.

[Maul]

I'm just saying that's just the natural order like that.

[Damaris]

Oh, is that the natural order? I mean, you've been there for 20 years. You ain't got no kids.

[Maul]

Yeah, but it's different for me. He.

[Rory]

He can pull out. You can't.

[Maul]

Yeah.

[Rory]

See the signs?

[Damaris]

I could pull up the plan.

[Maul]

I could pull up. Baby D said I could pull up

[Rory]

a plan B. I can Uber to the Blue Factory for sure there.

[Maul]

Hey, Baby D. They Uber eats in the plan B.

[Damaris]

Tell me. I know y. They're.

[Colin Coward]

They're not.

[Maul]

No, no, no. Hold on, hold on, hold on, hold on, hold on.

[Rory]

We not going to let baby.

[Daniel Cormier]

Don't you need an id?

[Maul]

We not going to let Baby D finish.

[Damaris]

Uber eats outside. Answer the door.

[Maul]

Yo, Baby D ordering the Plan B while he's still hitting it. It's crazy.

[Rory]

Bugging the out Dinner.

[Damaris]

We had dinner. To play and be on his way to the crib, yo.

[Rory]

Got to get the whole 24 out, yo.

[Maul]

That's crazy craziness, yo.

[Rory]

You know, sometimes Uber eats drivers, like, go through your fries. And what if you found your Plan B open?

[Damaris]

Open?

[Maul]

Yeah. Nah, family. What you doing? Give me money.

[Rory]

But he, like, sealed it, so you

[Damaris]

didn't realize till way later I'll be pissed.

[Maul]

Yo, that is, man. Ordering the Plan B while y' all at dinner is crazy work.

[Rory]

Or it's just innovation. I didn't think, because. Don't you need an id? No, you can just go to Walgreens and get the Plan B. Yeah, they

[Maul]

got that next to deodorant.

[Colin Coward]

What you talking.

[Rory]

But that's locked up now, too. Everything's locked up. They take 30 minutes.

[Maul]

They. But you don't need ID.

[Daniel Cormier]

You just wait.

[Maul]

You got somebody. Just got to come open a little.

[Rory]

I always thought you needed to, like, show some form.

[Maul]

A man. That's old.

[Damaris]

That's only if you're getting it through your insurance.

[Maul]

Yeah, but if you paying. If you paying cash, if you waiting

[Rory]

on your insurance, that baby's coming.

[Maul]

Yeah, that's a fact. We ain't waiting on insurance. We going to get this baby out of here tonight. That baby is out of here tonight. That's a fact.

[Rory]

That insurance does Plan B really with your stomach. You don't know because you never take one.

[Damaris]

But it's never no. Oh, crap. No, not that.

[Rory]

I said. Got my nerve system cracked.

[Maul]

Yeah, I'm in. Nervous. Yeah. Like, it was working.

[Damaris]

Yo, I think the biggest disrespect is, like, when a man. Like, when you a man asks you, like, oh, you bought that Plan B? I had a ask me, like, yo, yeah, you got that Plan B right? And I was just like, yo, I'm not going to hold you. I would never want to have your seed. I don't know why on God's green earth you thought you got to call me to make sure I got that Plan B baby. I promise you, if I do nothing

[Rory]

else, that could be an attentive father following up, making sure everything's going okay.

[Maul]

Making sure you Good. Making sure, you know, you stick it to.

[Rory]

Sounds like a family man to me.

[Daniel Cormier]

Yeah.

[Damaris]

I think his head was just a little big, like you would be trapping me, not the other way around.

[Maul]

I promise you. That's crazy.

[Damaris]

Easy.

[Rory]

I had a girl take a video of her taking it to prove to me that she did it. I didn't ask her for that, which I thought. I think she thought that was a good gesture. But then it had me thinking, like, what had happened in her past that

[Maul]

she thought she had to show you the video.

[Rory]

Nobody asked her that.

[Maul]

Yeah.

[Rory]

Took a full video selfie video of taking it. I'm like, I didn't. I trusted you was gonna take it. I didn't think you weren't sending the

[Damaris]

video because now I feel like you're taking a fake one. Because why the show? Why the production?

[Rory]

Yeah. It had my mind racing, which I think she thought that was comfort, but it did.

[Maul]

The ring light on she did was

[Rory]

content for she probably on someone else's couch.

[Damaris]

A ring light is funny as ring

[Maul]

light on to take take.

[Rory]

Everyone's been asking me about my plan B routine.

[Maul]

Part of my morning routine.

[Rory]

Subscribe to my plan B routine.

[Maul]

Oh, man.

[Damaris]

But, yeah, well, I don't know. I think I. I think people are just really outside is expensive recession indicator. I think everybody. Also, your timeline is probably people older. You don't. You shouldn't be following no 21, 22, 23, 3 year olds. Yeah.

[Maul]

I don't know how old. Some of these people I follow until they post those balloons in the back and I'm like, whoa, Unfollow. Thought you were 30. Didn't realize this was 24 for you.

[Rory]

And it goes both ways because sometimes they'll be 24 and I'll be like, oh, you're way younger than I thought. Then sometimes they'll be 40, and I'll be like, I thought she was 25.

[Maul]

Yeah, you look great. You know, you can't tell no more. This makeup is crazy. The makeup. The makeup now is insane. Like, you never know how old a girl is until, like, you see the

[Damaris]

balloons in the background and some makeup be looking these. Making these people look older than what they. They are.

[Maul]

Oh, yeah, for sure.

[Rory]

The surgery does too. You just think that face surgery is making them look better. No, you just look older and weirder

[Damaris]

when you take all that fat out. When they're taking, like, the fat out their face and pulling their face back, that's making them look older. Chunky, chunkier faces look younger.

[Maul]

Yeah.

[Rory]

How come the Plastic surgeons haven't figured out hands yet. Like, even the, the professional plastic surgery chicks, like the ones that are millionaires and get that done bi monthly. I can still see your old ass hands.

[Damaris]

Yeah, I can't wait to get my damn.

[Maul]

How old is a. Your hands?

[Damaris]

Yeah, what's wrong with your hands? I got old lady hands.

[Maul]

Let me see your hands.

[Damaris]

Not on this camera. I'll show you off camera.

[Rory]

But I got old.

[Damaris]

What's wrong with your head?

[Rory]

I got like, for the rest of the year.

[Maul]

Baby, do you not have old woman hands?

[Damaris]

I really do. I have.

[Maul]

No, you do not. You turn 31 to start acting crazy.

[Damaris]

You never met a chick with wrinkly hands. I had wrinkly when I was young.

[Maul]

Not a fun.

[Rory]

I've met a. No pun intended, a handful of chicks that were young, but they had old hands.

[Damaris]

Yeah, I, I.

[Maul]

What do they do for work?

[Damaris]

It's not about looking. It's not about having rough hands. It's just like, you have like, more skin on your hands, so it.

[Rory]

Your hands look more wrinkled, more defined in certain areas.

[Maul]

Well, y' all got to do your spare fingers more often every morning. You got to do these.

[Damaris]

It's usually women who have like, small hands. Cuz I have like baby hands. Like people who have small hands. When your fingers are longer, it stretches the skin more. I have really, really short fingers, baby.

[Maul]

D. Oh, are you venom? What is she talking about right now? What the is she talking about?

[Damaris]

I'll show you.

[Maul]

Baby, you do not have. Oh, you don't even have to show me your hands. You do not. If I feel like if you had old hands, I would have saw your old hands and made it a. Made it a topic already. We would have been discussed. Your old hand. You don't have hands.

[Rory]

Big foreheads, wrinkly hands.

[Colin Coward]

Who said that?

[Rory]

You know what they say.

[Maul]

No, I don't know what they say. I've never heard nobody. You know what they say, Rory? I've never heard nobody say.

[Rory]

Everyone says it.

[Maul]

How old are you turning this year?

[Rory]

35.

[Damaris]

Damn. Sorry, my bad.

[Maul]

I didn't say that.

[Daniel Cormier]

I.

[Maul]

You don't want to know how old I'm turning this year.

[Rory]

You're supposed to age.

[Maul]

That's, that's a fact. It's a beautiful thing.

[Colin Coward]

It's a blessing.

[Maul]

Yeah, it's a blessing.

[Rory]

You'll be there soon. Don't worry though.

[Maul]

She did already. She don't want to go out. She don't want to stand up for more than 12 minutes.

[Damaris]

And I'm about to freeze my eggs.

[Maul]

You about to do what?

[Damaris]

Freeze my eggs, baby.

[Colin Coward]

Baby.

[Damaris]

What? You. I have to. I'm a woman that wants to have kids eventually.

[Maul]

That's 31, two weeks until 31 years old.

[Damaris]

But that's still. Your eggs start dying at 25. Yeah, that's something.

[Maul]

Don't your eggs die every period?

[Damaris]

Yes, you lose them, and I'm not getting any more. So yeah, I have to start thinking about that. Freezing my eggs. Anything can happen.

[Rory]

Do they tell me how? Like, how many you have every.

[Damaris]

No, you have to. I would have to go get that checked out. And I'm really not really for them to go up in there yet, but yeah, I'm probably get them frozen.

[Maul]

Do you think you know the person you're going to have kids with? Like, you have met already?

[Damaris]

I used to think so, but no, not at all anymore.

[Maul]

Okay, what about you?

[Rory]

You going to freeze your sperm?

[Damaris]

Well, one of y' all fertilize my eggs. Sorry. So that they could last longer when you.

[Maul]

What?

[Damaris]

Fertil. So when I go to freeze my eggs, fertilized eggs tend to last longer and do better. So, like, will one of y' all fertilize, like, half of them?

[Rory]

But when you, like, put it back in, would we be the father?

[Damaris]

Yes.

[Maul]

You think that I would give you. Wait, baby. Do you think that I would let you take my sperm and fertilize you your egg?

[Damaris]

First of all, you got like five more years left before, like, you start giving your kids at risk for autism and stuff.

[Rory]

Like, you have to freeze that sack, brother.

[Damaris]

Yeah, like you. The older men are, the less healthy the kids are likely to be. I'm just saying. So come on, we can have a kid.

[Rory]

Low pod baby.

[Maul]

That just sounds like a terrible idea.

[Rory]

It's a black mirror episode.

[Maul]

That is a terrible.

[Damaris]

That is definitely a black mirror episode.

[Maul]

Oh, my God. Imagine. Imagine that. You imagine the headlines. If I donate my sperm to Baby D's egg. Like, can you imagine that?

[Rory]

First of all, Reddit would go crazy.

[Maul]

First of all, there'd be a whole

[Rory]

different Reddit just for that.

[Maul]

Yo, Peach Bleak. First of all, I'm all kind of like, I didn't. We didn't even have sex. That you just gave her sperm. That's like the. The President. Like, what type of is that? Do you have a kid? Like, nah. Yeah, that is cool.

[Rory]

We have a little pie baby. I know some people that have, like, past packs with their friends, like platonic friends. Yeah, I know.

[Maul]

I had. I had one before that. She Wouldn't have a baby.

[Damaris]

Damn.

[Maul]

You broke the pack.

[Rory]

Wait, what was the. The age for the pack? Like if we're both this age.

[Maul]

If. If. Cuz she's I think like four years younger than me. So at the time she was like when she was 35. Which. Or 30. And I was. I would have been turning 34. 35. She's like, would. Would you have a Kim? I was like, yeah. And then like two years later, she had a kid. Broke the pack.

[Damaris]

Yeah, she thought about that a little long.

[Rory]

How long are you gonna give her too? Till she turned 35.

[Maul]

That's what she was saying.

[Rory]

Okay, gotcha.

[Maul]

She had introduced the idea of it and I was like, yo, we like super cool. Like, I was like, yeah, why not? What?

[Rory]

Oh, this is where I wish we had another mic. Maybe Peach or Josh could just yell. What traits do you think the baby would take from each of the these. Do you think this would be a well meshed baby as far as how they act?

[Maul]

If I was to donate sperm to baby D's egg.

[Damaris]

Yeah.

[Maul]

Oh, no. That baby would be lit.

[Rory]

I think you guys would balance each other out well for the child.

[Daniel Cormier]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Maul]

That baby. No, Baby D's right. I'm not. I'm going to be like absent father. She's ra.

[Rory]

No.

[Colin Coward]

For sure.

[Damaris]

No, no. I'm an absent mother. No, no, no, no, no.

[Maul]

We both can't be absent Baby D. Somebody has to be present.

[Damaris]

But you got a big family. That's what I thought about.

[Maul]

You do too.

[Damaris]

Like, Rory, you got a big family.

[Maul]

You do too. You on your phone with one of your sisters every day. I don't know which one.

[Damaris]

You got 400 of them though.

[Rory]

That's true.

[Damaris]

And your nephew is so well raised. He's amazing. Like, but what that got to do

[Maul]

with you taking this kid?

[Damaris]

Nah, I ain't doing that. What? Nah, I'm not the primary parent. You're the primary parent. How?

[Maul]

You the one that's carrying the baby.

[Damaris]

Yeah. For nine months. And then for 18 years. Assign you.

[Maul]

Hell no. That just.

[Rory]

That's how that works.

[Damaris]

See, that's crazy.

[Rory]

The American tradition is the father.

[Maul]

You're going to carry the same seed for nine months and then be like, yo, I'm cool.

[Rory]

But what's so funny about the scenario is you guys are planning to abandon your child. Not that.

[Colin Coward]

Not that.

[Rory]

I understand that people. People abandon their kids. But when happens, you'll be like, all right, he didn't want that baby. The happened, so he jetted. You guys are Going to science to create a child to then abandon.

[Maul]

Yeah, but look how it starts. I am donating. I am the donor.

[Rory]

That's a personal donation, though.

[Maul]

Yeah, it's. Yeah. So it's a diamond depositing into baby D's account.

[Rory]

Yes.

[Maul]

Of her egg. Yeah. Right. She. She.

[Rory]

Then Apple Wallet.

[Maul]

Yeah, she carries the egg. She can't just leave the egg once it hatches.

[Damaris]

You make more money than me. Like, if in a child, I would lose because you make more money than me.

[Maul]

No, no, we don't got to go there.

[Rory]

Imagine if a woman went to a sperm bank with the intention to abandon her child.

[Maul]

I just want to have it. But I want it. I just want to have it, but I don't want it. They're gonna be like.

[Damaris]

No, it's just.

[Maul]

Yeah.

[Rory]

Like how you. A surrogate for a surrogate for a surrogate.

[Damaris]

There's a difference between being. You don't abandon, but not the primary parent. Like, when it comes to. Like when the kid wants something, it needs to go to daddy first.

[Maul]

All right, so here. Here's. Here's what we do. If it's a girl, you have to keep it, because I can't. I can't raise a woman.

[Damaris]

I would not want my daughter raised by you. So agree.

[Maul]

Wait, wait, hold on. What that mean?

[Damaris]

You just said you can't raise a girl.

[Maul]

Because I would have to kill one of these little Y N's out here. I don't want to. To do that. That's the only reason.

[Rory]

So you want to raise one a Y N?

[Maul]

Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Definitely raising a Y, for sure. But if it's a boy, I'll take it. I'll raise him.

[Rory]

What's funny is I think he'd get all his violence from Damaris. I'd be more scared of his mother's side in a situation, like, to make an irrational impulse decision to murder me. I'm definitely going with Damaris's side.

[Maul]

Yeah. So you have to raise it if it's a girl.

[Damaris]

Cool.

[Maul]

I think that should be a thing anyway.

[Colin Coward]

That's.

[Damaris]

No, girls need their fathers.

[Maul]

Girls, absolutely. But I'm saying, like, if y'.

[Colin Coward]

All.

[Maul]

If the parents break up, split, like, you know, we get separate households. We don't live together. I think that if it's a daughter, she should live still have a bond and a life with the father, but primary residence. Who raises her, I think should be the mother. And if it's a boy, I think he should live under his dad's roof.

[Damaris]

Girls, the age 12 through 17 need to be with their fathers.

[Maul]

12, like every day.

[Damaris]

Yes, they need to be with their fathers.

[Rory]

Damn. Like parenting.

[Damaris]

Yeah.

[Maul]

Why, though?

[Damaris]

What do you mean, why? That's when they need y' all the most. That's when they need you the most. That's when they need to be reassured the most. That male attention they need the most.

[Maul]

No, but you still. I'm not saying, like, the father is completely. I'm saying as far as live in the house.

[Damaris]

You ever seen a 13 year old girl argue with her mother? That should have shake the. Shake the neighborhood.

[Maul]

You've got to have a twin sister. You think I've never seen a 13? Exactly, exactly.

[Rory]

That was the diplomat of the house argue.

[Maul]

Yeah. I had to grow up fast.

[Damaris]

If your daddy would have been off that stuff, your sister would have left and went with him immediately. I'm telling you, she would have asked her. She would have been gone.

[Rory]

Yeah.

[Maul]

It is a point where mothers and daughters clash.

[Damaris]

Yeah. Them teenage years is tough. You need.

[Maul]

As soon as y' all first period. Soon as that first period happened, that's it. It's over. Now it's like two women fighting for like, I've seen it.

[Damaris]

I'm just telling you what I pissing on trees. Who got the. Who got the smarter mouth? Who got the bigger attitude?

[Maul]

Who going had a last. That last, last, last word, yo, you don't want to know how many times my house shook up and down for the last. I'm like, why don't y' all both just shut the up? Just both of y' all shut the fuck.

[Rory]

And now they're both mad at you.

[Maul]

On I'm 14. Like, both of y' all shut the up.

[Rory]

Like, just let.

[Maul]

Let it go. Like. Yeah, it's crazy. That's. That's a real thing.

[Damaris]

I don't know what it is about teenage. It's like we just become monsters. My mother's thing used to be the mirror. I. Okay, okay. She's like, damaris, I swear to God, say, okay one more mother time.

[Maul]

It's the last. Y' all want that last last. You know how many battles I've seen over the last? I'm like, yo, we talking about a box of cereal. This started at a box of cereal, and now we all the way here. Like, what are we talking?

[Rory]

But then raising a teenage boy, you have to think, factor in all the towels that you can crack in half. By the end of the week, it's gonna be semen everywhere. You want a quiet house with dirty towels or A loud one with you know, a tampon or two.

[Maul]

Now me and my mom used to always like our thing was always like just me like coming in the house late. After a while like that was moment like I was just started hanging out in the streets. Like you've been a. No, but it wasn't even that. It was like literally just being outside like with the, with, with the homies. Like we going to Brooklyn, we going to Queens and we taking the train. It's two in the morning. My mom's like what are you. How you think you just coming here three, four in the morning? Like what's. And it's like yo, we.

[Damaris]

What the.

[Maul]

I'm not seeing nothing wrong with it, but looking back, I understand why my mother was so. Yeah, it's crazy. You know what it is to be on the train at 3 in the morning as a 16 year old black kid.

[Damaris]

Like. Yeah. And she can't sleep. Like as a parent you can't sleep.

[Maul]

Yeah, that's what. That was my thing. That was my. And then the girls, you know, come bringing the girls to the house. That was a thing. But my mom's thing was better than bringing the boys to the house. So. You know what I'm saying? I was just like. It was just that part.

[Rory]

So we, we've decided what we're going to do depending on if it's a boy or a girl. With that agreement, let's say we get to 15 and a transition wants to.

[Damaris]

To happen.

[Rory]

Does the household transition?

[Damaris]

You can't help yourself, can you?

[Maul]

You can't help like transitions from boy to girl.

[Rory]

I knew we were going to take that out anyways. P. Keep it on me. Okay. Do we got back over? I got you.

[Damaris]

It's just. Why Cuz, why Cuz it was sitting right there.

[Rory]

Okay, do we have names that we can agree on? We already know where the boy or the girl is staying. Do you have boy names?

[Maul]

Yeah, I got boy names.

[Damaris]

What's your boy names?

[Maul]

I, I think I want a junior

[Damaris]

not naming my kid Jamal. But it's spelled J. I'm not doing that.

[Colin Coward]

Why?

[Maul]

He's Muslim.

[Rory]

You take a shot a Jesus piece off.

[Maul]

Yeah. Take a Shahada. Yeah. Raise a Muslim baby. Yeah, I can see, I can see you turn a Muslim.

[Rory]

She needs one month with Kevin Gates. Him, right?

[Maul]

Kevin got. Kevin got Britney draped.

[Damaris]

I might be the only person. I might be the only person ever stressed Kevin Gates out. Kevin wouldn't stress me out. I would stress Kevin.

[Rory]

He seems like your type. I don't mean that in a bad way. I'm serious.

[Damaris]

He's a challenge. I love a challenge. Yeah.

[Rory]

Y' all would argue all day.

[Maul]

Yeah. Kevin Gates and Damaris.

[Damaris]

Yeah.

[Maul]

That's an argument waiting.

[Rory]

Do you have girl names?

[Maul]

She gave us girl names before didn't.

[Damaris]

Maybe Alexandra or Anastasia. Asia.

[Maul]

J

[Rory]

from left field. I like J.

[Maul]

No, you don't. No, you do not. You don't like J.

[Rory]

You can still be a junior J.R. and it's like.

[Maul]

What is like. Is it just a unisex name?

[Rory]

We saw the Smiths do it. Look how that turned out.

[Damaris]

Great.

[Rory]

Two creative kids.

[Maul]

Two creative kids. Absolutely.

[Rory]

Yeah.

[Damaris]

We gonna have a kid that talks too much. Two podcasters can't have a kid. Kid won't shut the up.

[Rory]

No, that kid's gonna.

[Maul]

It's funny because I only. It's funny because, I mean, Rory knows I only talk here.

[Rory]

Yeah, same.

[Damaris]

No, I only talk here.

[Maul]

I don't talk to nobody outside of this. I talk to the same four people every day, probably outside of these walls

[Rory]

because I have a word count, like a Twitter word count. And it usually ends here.

[Maul]

Yeah.

[Rory]

Go home and be quiet.

[Maul]

Today's show is brought to you by our presented sponsor, Hard Rock Bet. It's that time of year. Viva la Copa. If you haven't tried Hard Rock Bet yet, there's no better time to get into the game than it is right now with the big game, the biggest game happening right now. Viva la culpa. I don't care if you betting for your country. Wherever you from, you can get in on the bet. Whether you're back in your country or you're just betting on your favorite superstar, or you're building the same game parlay. For the biggest matches of the tournament, Hard Rock Bet is your way to get in on the action. Sign up with Hard Rock Bet today and place a $5 bet. If it wins, you also score $150 in bonus bets. A win and bet, plus an extra $150 to bet with. Now that's how you get this summer's party started. Pg. That's my punchline. And if you're ever late to kick off, don't worry. Hard Rock Bet let you live. Bet all match long from the first minute to the final whistle. Download the Hard Rock Bet app today. Roll with us. Go with us. Hard Rock Bet. Pairborn bonus bets. Not a cash offer. Offered by the Seminole Tribe of Florida in Florida. Offered by Seminole hard Rock Digital LLC in all other states. Must be 21 plus and physically present in Arizona Colorado, Florida, Illinois, Indiana, Michigan, New Jersey, o Tennessee or Virginia to play. Terms and conditions apply. Concerned about gambling? In Florida, you call 1-833-play- wise in Indiana, if you or someone you know has a gambling problem wants help, call 1-800-9 with it gambling problem, call 1-800- gambler Arizona, Colorado, Illinois, Michigan, New Jersey, Ohio, Tennessee and Virginia.

[Colin Coward]

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[Rory]

Awkward time to ask this, but hey, did you download the trail map?

[Damaris]

Yeah, no, I don't need to.

[Maul]

I. I don't understand you.

[Rory]

You're trusting your signal out here.

[Damaris]

I'm trusting T Mobile.

[Rory]

They have the best network and if

[Damaris]

we end up in bumtots nowhere, well, we've got T satellite for backup.

[Colin Coward]

Whoa.

[Rory]

I don't trust my carrier that much. We'll just use your phone as a flashlight.

[Maul]

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[Rory]

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[Damaris]

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[Rory]

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[Maul]

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[Colin Coward]

Find out more@t mobile.com or visit your local store.

[Rory]

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[Damaris]

you can see the sky.

[Rory]

Included with experience beyond or $10 a month news monthly cancel anytime.

[Daniel Cormier]

Visit t mobile.com this is Daniel Cormier from the Daniel Cormier Show. This podcast is sponsored by Total Wireless, the official wireless partner of ufc. All UFC fighters know power doesn't wait in the octagon or outside of it. You either make the move or you miss the moment. That's why you need a network that's as powerful as you are. With Total Wireless, you get unlimited 5G data keeping you in on all the action, from the walkouts to the knockouts. You'll never miss a moment. That's coverage that you can count on for every single round. So when the moment happens, you're not catching up. You're already there. Now that that's a total power move. In the ufc, power isn't given, it's taken. So make your total power move today. Visit totalwireless.com or stop by your neighborhood Total Wireless store. 5G access requires a 5G capable device in a 5G service area. Monthly rates on the Total Base 5G Unlimited plan for new subscribers applies only to the monthly rate for your your plan. Additional terms apply. See website for details.

[Rory]

This show is sponsored by better help. Better Help's 2026 State of Stigma report surveyed 2,000Americans and revealed that 85% of Americans believe getting support is wise, yet 74% say society discourages people from doing so. We're halfway through the year. I think it's time to evaluate where you're at and get the mental help that you deserve. Client review views at better help over 30,000 therapists better help is the world's largest online therapy platform, Having served over 6 million people globally, and it works with an average rating of 4.9 out of 5 stars for a live session based off over 1.7 million client reviews. Please take the time halfway through the year. Don't end this year going, damn, I wish I would have got some help. Don't let stigma stand in the of way support Start therapy with Better Help. Sign up and get 10% [e-mail] Rory Mall that's better. HP.com Rory Mall.

[Maul]

Find out about a sibling that my dad didn't know about.

[Rory]

Yeah. Or you just didn't know about.

[Maul]

Nah, nah. We all all all of the sibling. We all know each other. I mean if it's somebody else out there, they haven't come forward yet.

[Colin Coward]

Good.

[Maul]

Stay over there.

[Rory]

Ain't nah no way. A sibling saw the big pimping video and was like, I'll keep it. I'm gonna keep that to myself. I'm not gonna approach that family.

[Maul]

Yeah. Nah, hopefully. I mean, Pops was, you know, he was out, he was outside, man. But I think. I think we all, all the siblings, we all have a relationship. We all know who we are.

[Rory]

Damaris.

[Damaris]

My father has said that he thinks he saw a. He saw a little girl one time and she really, like, intrigued, like, she looked like him. And like, he really thought that there was a chance that might be his child. Child. She was with a nanny, but other than that, no, I'm not looking for anybody else. I already got to split the will four ways.

[Maul]

He should have took some of her hair and got a DNA test.

[Damaris]

You just want my dad to walk up to a little girl and pull

[Maul]

on her hair, like, hey, how you doing? Act like he's he and just kind of get a strain out of her head and then take it and get a little DNA test.

[Daniel Cormier]

Yeah, yeah.

[Rory]

No, that feels like a really good strategy. Yeah.

[Damaris]

Yeah. Check it out.

[Rory]

I had one of my older frat brothers, it was like within the last three or four, four years. Married, two kids. The oldest is 15. He found out he had a 25 year old daughter in Jamaica, like, recently.

[Maul]

25 years old.

[Rory]

It was before he met his wife. Like, it's not like he stepped out on his marriage or anything.

[Maul]

How old is he, Travis?

[Rory]

Late 40s.

[Maul]

Okay.

[Rory]

Yeah, late 40s, maybe. Yeah. And, like, had to deal with that, too. I mean, his wife wasn't like, yo, what the fuck? Because it was before they even met, but now, like, they have a whole extra part of their family. Like, that has to be a strange situation.

[Maul]

That's tough.

[Rory]

25 years old, like, hey, dad. Like, whoa.

[Maul]

Nah, man. 25. Don't come up to me talking about, hey, dad, I'm not your dad. I'm not your dad.

[Damaris]

Stop.

[Maul]

25 years old and I'm just me and you. I'm not your dad. I mean, me and your moms may have hooked up, but I ain't your dad, though. Like.

[Damaris]

But you're my. You're my. You might not be my father, but. But you. You my daddy.

[Maul]

Daddy. Like, no, no, I'm not.

[Rory]

That's up there with the doctor thing he wants to do.

[Maul]

No, that's actually worse. 25 year old girl calling me daddy.

[Damaris]

No, she wouldn't call you daddy. But you're.

[Maul]

That's what you just said. You're my daddy.

[Damaris]

You're. You are her daddy. Like, you're not her father. You didn't raise her, but you her daddy. You her mother. Baby daddy. And you're her daddy.

[Maul]

Yeah. Luckily for me, I don't have anything to worry about when it comes to that. You don't know know that I ain't got no kids out here.

[Damaris]

You don't know that.

[Rory]

That's still your responsibility, though.

[Maul]

Like, what do you mean

[Damaris]

child support,

[Maul]

man, for 25 year old walk up to you, to my. Yo, you my daddy. I'm like, listen, man, check this out. I will fight you. You 25. We can square up. Like that's legal. I'll fight a 25 year old. A 25 year old dude walk up to me. So I'm like, yo, I think you my daddy. Hey, yo, fam, check this out. I'm not even in the mood for all this right now. Like, we, we could get it shaken out here.

[Rory]

Like, this is the plot to elf.

[Maul]

Yeah, like, like, what are we talking to daddy? 25, get your grown ass, go to work. You talking about you're a daddy.

[Rory]

Okay, but why, why aren't you a dad?

[Maul]

Like, dude, go take your ass to work.

[Damaris]

Okay, so if he was to sit there and say, you're my dad, I feel like you don't think that you

[Maul]

owe like, at 25, all right, what he doing in life? Where he at?

[Damaris]

See, you can't do that because he would have been there if you would have. He would have been better if you would have been there for him.

[Maul]

I don't know.

[Rory]

That's the push.

[Daniel Cormier]

How?

[Maul]

I'm a deadbeat. I don't know about him. His mother.

[Damaris]

How do you know that?

[Maul]

His mother is whack for not telling me that. That ain't me. I don't know that. Yeah, I'm a deadbeat. I don't even know. It's a beat out there. I'm gonna be a deadbeat. I didn't know I had a beat walking around, you know what I'm saying? Like, what the. Yeah, I didn't know that. That ain't on me.

[Rory]

Maybe she didn't know that.

[Maul]

Yeah, that's a real thing. That's a real thing. Maybe she didn't know.

[Rory]

23andMe helped a lot of women. Like, ah, it was him.

[Damaris]

I thought it was.

[Rory]

I was. I was on a hot streak that week.

[Maul]

But girls ask me that a lot. Like, you sure you don't got no kids? I'm like, what does that even mean? How are you sure if you don't have. Yes.

[Rory]

And if you're not in touch with every single woman that you've slept with,

[Maul]

that's a chance I mean, yes, it's a chance, but I think that if any woman I've ever slept with and she actually had a kid and thought it was mine, she would have told me that. Yeah, she wouldn't go 25 years to be like, hey, so remember back in 2011, you know what I'm saying? It would be like, wait, and you

[Rory]

got money and shit. Yeah, she wouldn't keep that.

[Damaris]

Oh, I was about to say, let me see the I think might be my baby daddy on a clip going viral. You bugged the out.

[Maul]

What type of clip is it though? Just because it's going viral, you're gonna be like, yo, you might be my baby.

[Rory]

She saw the Drake clips and the Trump clips and said, nah, never mind. He don't need a father.

[Damaris]

Yep.

[Rory]

Yeah, I'm not gonna reach out to him.

[Maul]

Good, stay there.

[Damaris]

That original vulture interview, that's $7 million. I'm like, word, you know? Yeah, call your pops.

[Maul]

I ain't got the phone. My phone number changed. Changed my number on all your hoes.

[Rory]

I don't have service ever.

[Maul]

Yeah, I'm grandfathered in.

[Damaris]

Crazy. But I feel like, would you. Okay, so if that did happen to you, all right, suddenly you have a 25 year old, you find out, you take the DNA test like it's real. How do you move forward from that? Do you try to build a relationship?

[Maul]

And, and it's a, it's a son. Like I have a son.

[Damaris]

It doesn't matter.

[Maul]

Wait, it does matter because how do I.

[Rory]

If it was a daughter, it's kind

[Maul]

of like, what am I going to do with a 25 year old daughter at right now? Like, how do I, how do I love it? Like, how do I. 25, it's like, isn't she. She probably engaged.

[Rory]

The story of all out of context. Paige is going to have a field day with this fucking episode.

[Maul]

I'm just saying, like, what do I do with a 25 year old woman that comes up to me, say, hey, you know my, you know, my mom hooked up years ago. I'm your daughter.

[Damaris]

Once it's confirmed, I mean, she's a human, you can get to know her.

[Maul]

I mean, what do I do? You take her to get something to eat. I don't know, 25.

[Rory]

It's like, I'm only going to take her to the zoo.

[Maul]

That's what I'm saying. What do you do with a grown ass. She's a grown ass woman. She's not a kid. She's not a child.

[Damaris]

Okay, but you could still get to know her. Like, get to know.

[Maul]

I mean, yeah, but she 25. She probably want me to meet her at brunch with her home girls. I'm not doing that.

[Rory]

What type of freaky. This is that daughter swap I was talking about?

[Maul]

No, cuz, you know, she might be like, yo, meet us at brunch, dad. Like, we going.

[Damaris]

She's not going to say, meet us at brunch, dad. She's. I don't. I don't think.

[Maul]

Okay, so where did 25 year old girls go to hang out?

[Damaris]

To meet. Not to hang out. You're meeting her. Have. Sit down, have dinner, have her come over. Y' all can watch like TV together.

[Maul]

Like, watch tv.

[Rory]

Introduce her to your whole family with their dad.

[Damaris]

Small.

[Maul]

I'm not her dad. She's 25 years old.

[Rory]

So when you were 25, what did you do with your dad and mom? Like you were still their kid.

[Damaris]

When you were getting to know your father more, after he got. After he got out of jail and he got off drugs, what did you do with your dad to get know him more?

[Maul]

I stared at that. Ice grilled that for like three hours.

[Rory]

Like, I was.

[Maul]

Stared at him like punk.

[Rory]

Like, you know, the Bronx is. He's like five minutes away.

[Maul]

No, I'm. But it's. I think it's different. That's why I said, if it's a son, I think it's different. Like a daughter. Your daughter being 25, that's the first time you meet her. That, that. I think that's way more awkward than a father meeting his 25y old son for the first time.

[Damaris]

Are you afraid you're going to play catch or something?

[Maul]

Like, no, no, no, it's not that. That. It's just. It's like, yo, she's a grown woman. It's kind of like she, you know. You know, women are different. Like y' all have y'. All. Once y' all reach a certain age, it's like y' all are who y' all are. With a son, it's like you can kind of, you know, talk to him differently, give him different advice. With a woman, it's like, why give

[Rory]

a woman advice, right?

[Maul]

No, but her mom, look, you look great. Look, got a good job. Mom did a great job. Like, I don't. What do you. I mean, we could try to develop a relationship, but it's going to be awkward.

[Rory]

Your offspring, like, that's your. That's part of you.

[Damaris]

I don't. Yes, obviously it's going to be awkward, but eventually awkwardness goes away once you get to know her. Like, y' all might have things in common. Y' all might like, yeah, but like,

[Maul]

what if I find her Instagram page and she a thought you should have

[Rory]

been a fucking father.

[Maul]

I didn't know about this girl. Like, it's her mother.

[Rory]

This is. You don't remember the. This is the result.

[Maul]

Her mother kept her a secret. I did not know. That's not on me.

[Damaris]

Okay, it's not on you. But if she's a thot, then you can understand why. Why? And you can still.

[Maul]

That's crazy. Yeah, how can I?

[Rory]

She's been trying to replace you and

[Maul]

all men, so still it falls on me.

[Damaris]

No, it's not that it falls on you, but you can just under you. Like, what if she a thought? Okay, well, you can understand why she is, but also why does that matter? She's still a human being who's your child.

[Maul]

Yeah, but I don't know if I. If I meet my 25 year old daughter for the first time and. And I'm we developing relationships. Like, yeah, no, I seen your page, your podcast, like, follow me. I'm like, okay, follow her on Instagram or whatever. And she got like a only fans on her link tree.

[Damaris]

Okay, well you shouldn't be following her then.

[Maul]

I'm just saying I just followed her ig. I see the link tree.

[Rory]

So you have to go to the onlyfans.

[Maul]

I'm like, my daughter might. She might be putting the album out. Let me click the link tree.

[Rory]

You were looking for her Amazon list.

[Maul]

No, I'm saying if it's a link tree in the bio. Okay, let me see what my daughter got going on. If I see the onlyfans symbol, I don't know if I'm speaking to her anymore. Let me just be honest, okay?

[Rory]

What if your son is flooding the neighborhood with fentanyl? That's cool.

[Maul]

Who's a supplier?

[Rory]

We could play catch.

[Maul]

I might know somebody with they. With their numbers.

[Rory]

You could take her to get morning tea because you missed all her tea parties. Like that could be a cool.

[Damaris]

Yeah, I think that'd be dope.

[Maul]

Like go get tea every morning. She gotta go to work. I would hope she's cool. Yes, I. I hope so. I'm saying in the event that she's not and she's a thy and she's out here reckless and it's like, then how do I navigate through that relationship?

[Damaris]

Well, you try to build a relationship with her and show her her worth.

[Maul]

She probably watches baddies like, yeah, y'

[Damaris]

all can watch Baddies together.

[Maul]

We could definitely watch Baddies together. We could definitely watch. We could do that together. What if she's auditioning for Baddies?

[Rory]

You could be her manager.

[Maul]

No, thank you. You know what I'm saying? Like, you gotta.

[Rory]

You don't want 15.

[Maul]

We talking about a 25 year old woman.

[Damaris]

I think if you had a.

[Maul]

Talking about a 16 year old.

[Rory]

What if she's.

[Damaris]

That'd be cool. And I think you should get to know anymore. That's all.

[Maul]

Hopefully. But, you know, let's not put that on me. I don't have no kids out here in the world. Don't put none of these kids on me. I don't want no girls from my past popping up.

[Rory]

What if she's a POD fan?

[Maul]

If she's a fan of the pot.

[Rory]

Yeah. Before she, like, found out that you were her father.

[Maul]

Oh, then I would have a. Join us for a patreon. It's content. Gotta use her. Get to work.

[Damaris]

You would not do that.

[Maul]

There is a. Yeah, you would introduce my. Introduce my daughter to the world.

[Damaris]

Well, Rory did it with a population.

[Maul]

Yeah. But then he knew he. That was like, he was there when she was born. It was different though. I'm just meeting this 25 year old woman like with the rest of the world, like, hey, my daughter.

[Rory]

Why does Beanie Siegel call you space cakes?

[Maul]

That's funny. So years ago. So years ago I ate a. This is a funny story. That's crazy. Bean stoked you.

[Daniel Cormier]

That.

[Maul]

That's hilarious. So we was in. So Biggs had. Had. I don't know if Biggs had him, but we was in. I was at Biggs house. I think I want to say it was New Year's 2001 or 2002, maybe. So he had some. I don't know who it was, but somebody brought some. Somebody brought some wee brownies.

[Rory]

Okay.

[Maul]

And you know, it's. It's. No, actually it was Thanksgiving. It wasn't New Year's. It was Thanksgiving.

[Rory]

Someone brought that to Thanksgiving.

[Maul]

Exactly. So we

[Rory]

also love that you had Thanksgiving with Beanie Siegel.

[Maul]

No, Beans wasn't there. No, no, no.

[Daniel Cormier]

Beans.

[Maul]

Beans wasn't there. Beans wasn't there. So we, we had. We had dinner at the crib at Big's house and somebody bought some weed brownies. Now, I didn't know they were wee brownies. I just thought somebody bought brownie soda.

[Rory]

Delicious treat.

[Maul]

And it's on the. It's on the counter. It's on the island, like in the Kitchen with everything else. It's a part of the spread.

[Rory]

It's not labeled.

[Maul]

No, it's part of. Of the spread. Understand what I'm telling you? Cause this is a very important part of the story. It's part of.

[Rory]

Is there elders there, too?

[Maul]

My dad.

[Rory]

Okay.

[Maul]

But my.

[Rory]

I'm just. I'm thinking about, like, that one older grandma that loves a sweet treat.

[Maul]

No, no, no, no, no. Some kids was around, but, you know, I think that they were probably too little to even get on the island at the time, but. So I see the brownies. So now we downstairs in the arcade. Cause we used to be downstairs playing NBA Jam, like, for hours. That would be our thing. It would be our. Got wrecked just down there playing that for hours. So I go upstairs, I'm like, damn. I want. I don't. I didn't want no cake. But then I saw the brownies. So I'm like, oh, it's brownies. Like, all right, bet. So I get a brownie, go downstairs. I'm eating a brownie. I'm like, damn, that was kind of fire. I go upstairs and get another one. Come back downstairs. So now that I'm on the second one, Biggs is on the gang. And he turned, he look at me. He like, what you eating? I was like, yo, these brownies is fire. He was like, what brownies? I said, the brownies upstairs. He was like.

[Rory]

Everything started echoing.

[Maul]

He said, yo, you. He said, listen to what I. Follow me. He said, you got those brownies from upstairs? God bless. My brother Bob was there. So he started looking. He was like, brownies. Like, they all started laughing. They was like, yo, those the brownies that was in the foil? So I was like, yeah. He was like, yo, those are wee brownies.

[Rory]

I didn't know you like to get wet.

[Maul]

I promise you, as soon as Big said, those are weed brownies, I heard, brownies, brownies, brownies. It was like somebody just put the reverb on. I was like. Cause now, mind you, at this time, I wasn't smoking like that. Like, I only. I wasn't smoking really at all. Like, that wasn't never really a big drinker. So I was like, virgin to any type of drug, anything. Like. So as soon as he said, wee brownies, my cheeks got warm, the top of my ears got hot. And I'm standing there. So now I'm nervous. Cause everybody start laughing. And I was like, yo, all right. So what's gonna happen, though? Like, I'm trying to understand what feeling should I expect in the Next few minutes, so they all laughing. They like, oh, so Big's looking like, damn. Like, he. Because he know. He said, how many? You asked it. That was my second one. He was like, oh, my God. Like, you about to be, man. Damn.

[Rory]

I see you at Christmas.

[Maul]

So, like, 20 minutes pass, so everybody start looking. So I think like, yo, just drink some water. Start drinking a bunch of water. I'm drinking a bunch of water. Drinking a bunch of water. I start getting hot. I'm like, oh, my God. I feel it working. Like it's going through my bloodstream. Yo, I went upstairs, so y' all gotta go in the room and lay down. Cause I couldn't. I was getting like this, like, I guess anxiety was starting to kick in, everybody laughing at me. So I'm like, yo, I'm gonna just go in the room and lay down. I could hear these niggas through the vents laughing. So I hear them like, yo, he gonna be high and shit. So now imagine I'm in.

[Rory]

Or did you really hear them from the vents?

[Maul]

Yeah. No. 100%. So I'm laying down in the bed. It's pitch black in the room.

[Colin Coward]

And.

[Maul]

And I'm just. I'm like, damn. Like, the room just starts spinning. I'm like, oh, my God, here we go. It's like you on a roller coaster. And it's that part where you start going up. I just don't know what to expect. I'm laying there. I can hear them through the vent downstairs saying, yo, go check on them. Go check on them. Go check on them. Say, hey. They keep coming to the room, like, every 10 minutes, like, yo, you good? And I'm like, yeah, I'm good. I'm good. Now the whole time I'm laying down, it feel like it's a nigga in the mattress pulling me into the mattress. Like, I'm just getting. My body is so heavy. And I'm like, oh, my God. Got. So I started the room start spinning. I got up. I started throwing up. Yo, I was so. For two, like, two, three days, I was still high. Like, it was still in my body. Like, I could feel it. I woke up the next day, my bearing still wasn't right. Everything was still kind of, like, moving. We go to the studio. So they telling that everybody's hearing the story. This ma ate two wheat brownies. All of this been up even half a. So Beans and them had a session kitchen there, and they was telling them what happened. And so then they start calling me space cakes. They like, yo, this ate Two space cakes. You know what I'm saying? So from that, it just stuck. Like, everybody start calling me space cakes from that. That's crazy. Like, you just said that. I'm like, who the fuck called me space cakes?

[Rory]

That's what I was asking. I said, I do a podcast with Maul. I don't do one with space cakes.

[Maul]

That is hilarious, man. Yeah. So beans. That. That was what they call weed brownies. They called them space cakes because you. I guess you eat them shit, you get spaced out. So that's how I got the name space cakes. And I. And I will have you know, Rory, I have never ate a brownie since that day.

[Rory]

Listen, a regular brownie.

[Maul]

I have not ate. I have not eaten a single brownie since that.

[Rory]

You haven't listened to the truth since

[Maul]

I have not eaten a brownie. I don't give. You could be like, nah, nah, that's good. I don't want it like that. I was high for probably four days. Like, I felt my body, like, trying to get rid of that shit for about four days.

[Rory]

Was this pre eating on Thanksgiving or post?

[Maul]

This was after we ate.

[Rory]

Okay. Because that would just be funny, picturing everyone at the dinner table for Thanksgiving. Like, where's mall at?

[Damaris]

Yo, that is perfect.

[Maul]

Yo, I'm talking about that feeling of being that high. I will never do that to myself. That's why I really don't do edibles now, because I still have that fear in my mind of being that high. I was high for four days.

[Rory]

No. Edibles are the absolute.

[Maul]

Yeah. No, Never again. Never. And imagine you eat two of them and you don't even know. So you just on your dessert thing, like, I'm just eating brownies. N. It's weed in those.

[Damaris]

Why they ain't label them Damaris?

[Maul]

If now you asking the do you know questions.

[Rory]

Who brought them? Who, Chef?

[Maul]

Yeah, I know who brought them. I bought my brother. My brother homeboy brought them over. He made them. So that's why he was like, no, it ain't. No, you. You good. You gonna be high, but you good.

[Rory]

This is a family gathering. Why would you bring.

[Maul]

I still don't know. And it was in the middle. It was turkey here. This bake Mac. Yeah, it was. It's in the middle of everything that you supposed to.

[Daniel Cormier]

Supposed to eat.

[Maul]

So I'm like, okay, brownies. Somebody brought brownies. Two of them gone. 4 days high as a damn. But shout out to beans. Yeah, nobody calls me that. No more beans. But that's how I got the nah

[Rory]

Just finding out, like in the streets you call Space Cakes. I had to ask.

[Maul]

Yeah, no, that's.

[Rory]

That's a wild name to just have in the streets.

[Maul]

That's funny as damn. I ain't heard space. I ain't heard that name in years.

[Rory]

You got to change your Twitter handle.

[Maul]

That's crazy. That space cases. I haven't heard that in probably 15, 16 years. Is, bro. Space Cakes. Wow.

[Rory]

I'm. I'm just upset that you kept that story from us for some.

[Damaris]

Right. Like you.

[Rory]

I didn't know I was hanging with these space cakes the entire time.

[Maul]

Yeah, man, I told you. I got. I lived a lot of lives, man. I'm like a vampire.

[Damaris]

Yeah, talk about it on your platform.

[Maul]

I lived a lot of lives, man.

[Rory]

What's. What's some other funnier studio stories?

[Maul]

Funny studio stories. When we laughed at Kanye for when he had some. Remember Durango boots? Of course, the first time I saw Kanye, he had on a leather motorcycle jacket and some Durango boots.

[Rory]

That checks out.

[Maul]

And we laughed, and then he started playing music. I was like, who is this? I said, yo, who is this? I think he had just moved to. To Jersey, I think something like that. And. And he was working on Bean's first album.

[Rory]

Okay.

[Maul]

Yeah, he was working on Bean's first album. And. And did the State Property soundtrack, too. That was the first time. And then, of course, he did some joints on Is it Hard Knock Life?

[Rory]

No, he did Dynasty.

[Maul]

No, I think b. I think. No, Kanye worked on something before Dynasty. I think.

[Rory]

I mean, he was on Harlem World with Mace, but as far as Rockefeller, it was Beans first and then the Dynasty.

[Maul]

No, I think n. Didn't he do Girls?

[Damaris]

Girls?

[Maul]

Or was that just.

[Rory]

Blueprint was after the Dynasty.

[Maul]

No, it wasn't. No, it was Volume three.

[Rory]

Dynasty. Blueprint.

[Maul]

Blueprint one was not after the Dynasty, bro. What are you talking about? Am I tripping?

[Rory]

Yeah, you're out of your lane with this Rockefeller, bro.

[Maul]

Yo, yo. I'm just letting you know Blueprint one didn't come out.

[Rory]

Dynasty came before Blueprint.

[Maul]

It came out after Blueprint. What are you talking about? When did dynasty come out? 2,000. 2,000?

[Colin Coward]

Yeah.

[Rory]

You're not.

[Maul]

And when did Blueprint come out?

[Rory]

You're not about to tell me anything.

[Maul]

So it was like. It was a couple months apart. Okay? That's what it was. It was a couple months apart.

[Rory]

Well, I mean, I'm glad that he got the space cake stamp so he was able to keep working after he showed up in the Durango booth. She Was like, nah, he good.

[Maul]

Nah. I definitely remember I told Kanye that, like, I saw him, like, a few years ago. He was in la, and I told him that story. He started dying. Like, he knew. Exactly. I was like, yo, the first time you came and been, you had on some Durango boots and a motorcycle. Like a waist. The waist joint, not the waist. Like a real motorcycle lymph jacket.

[Rory]

Like, he was in the Village People, yo.

[Maul]

And everybody was like, like, yo, who?

[Daniel Cormier]

Who?

[Maul]

Cause we was in the B room listening to joints, and everybody's like, yo, who is this? He's like, yo, that's homie in the front in the lounge. Cause Kanye, I think, was in the lounge just chilling, watching tv. And he was like, yo, that's him. Like, he producing all that shit. I was like, yo, this nigga is crazy. Kanye West.

[Rory]

Little did you know it would go from that jacket to a Nazi T shirt. Look.

[Maul]

Look at us, man. What are we doing?

[Daniel Cormier]

Life, huh?

[Maul]

Full circle.

[Damaris]

Life, huh?

[Maul]

Full circle.

[Rory]

For some reason, that all checks out, though. Like, that guy would go to the Nazi shirt. That would be the period at the

[Maul]

end of the center, 100.

[Rory]

Like, he wore everything.

[Maul]

It's either y' all wore Durango boots up upstate.

[Damaris]

You have to pull up a picture of them. Because I wouldn't. I would have to see them to be able to notice.

[Maul]

You know, the Durango, they had them in black and then tan. Then they had, like, the little.

[Rory]

Little tassels on them. Some sometimes those.

[Maul]

Nah, y' all didn't do those upstate.

[Damaris]

Nah. Maybe to, like, the fashion, like, gay. But I don't think, like, the. The regular wasn't jacking up Damaris.

[Maul]

It was regular dudes in New York wearing that.

[Damaris]

Okay, I'm just saying, in New York,

[Maul]

look how we say regular. It was heterosexual.

[Rory]

I was about to say. So gays aren't regular. What are you trying to say?

[Maul]

They were heterosexual wearing those.

[Damaris]

We gonna bleep that out. But, yeah, I. I never seen nobody with them. Me, personally, but I'm a lot younger than you, though.

[Rory]

But those also, like, those are for the cons. Concrete. I don't know. Because it's snow. It's snowing Syracuse, like, nine months out the year. Those would be very tough in the snow.

[Maul]

It was just so odd, because if you was around Rockefeller back then, you knew how crazy it was to walk around any of us wearing those. Like, I'm yo was wearing Air Force

[Rory]

ones only it's still been a yay. But to have the balls to show up around a bunch of reformed drug dealers that have only like gotten out of the game for the last three years. To walk in with those on confidently is crazy.

[Maul]

That was to see somebody. I was like, oh, he's brave, cuz. Like if you wore something like that, you had to know you're going to get cut up all day. Like you're. You're the butt of the joke for the entire night. But once he start playing, once he put that foul in and started playing on them joints, I was like, yo. But I think Dane was like, yeah, nah, he. He legit.

[Rory]

He. He can wear whatever he wants. He can wear whatever going around cam and people like that. Nah, Damon cam was with those boots on.

[Maul]

No, no, no, no. Would not not happen. Absolutely would not happen. You ever got curved before?

[Damaris]

I went up to this one dude and I was like, hey, what's up? He's like, I have a girlfriend. I was like, oh my God. Yo, me, he think I'm ugly.

[Maul]

That don't count.

[Damaris]

I was like, see that? He think I'm ugly.

[Maul]

Wait, wait, wait. No, no, no, no. See that's up. That's not a curve. That's not a curve. He has a girlfriend now if he's single. And he said that, that's a curve.

[Damaris]

Let me hold your hand when I say this. If a really want you, that girlfriend don't have.

[Maul]

Nah, don't do that. Don't do that.

[Damaris]

That girlfriend. You not saying that girlfriend on. You told me you had a girlfriend cuz you wanted me to leave you

[Maul]

the alone or he don't want to cheat on his girl.

[Damaris]

Everybody want to cheat on their girl, bro.

[Maul]

See, but when I say it, baby, we be saying the same. But when I say it, it's a problem. You say it. It's supposed to be like. Yeah, that's what it is.

[Damaris]

You see you not a girl. So you understand. You know the worst kind of. Who going to look you in your face and say like, I like, oh, what's up? Like you, you with somebody? Be like, unfortunately, I have a girlfriend. Have said to me, unfortunately, I have a girlfriend, unfortunately.

[Maul]

Why are you in that relationship then? Unfortunately? It's crazy.

[Damaris]

Unfortunately. Just let me know, just leave.

[Maul]

Just. Why are people. Why are people scared to be single? One hour later.

[Damaris]

Josh, play another voicemail.

[Maul]

Yo, this is Jarvis all the way from Georgia. Jarvis, I got some red flags for you, but go ahead, let you know off the rip. I don't know nothing about no bodegas, no subways, metros, bacon egg on a bagel. See, I'm from the South Georgia specific. We know about Peaches and black Baptist churches where your granddad is the deacon. I only bring these things up just for me to mention that it's differences between us, let alone miles of distance. But I don't stop my heart nor death nor good intentions. See you smiling so hard your cheekbones carving indention J. Cole's said he want to fold clothes with his Mrs. I'm trying to cook, load the washer, let him dry and stack the dishes Trying to write you letters to the envelope with a honey kisses trying to bring you to the south get a feel for your characteristics Let you hear from horse's mouth I want to hear about all your interest. This is not a poem. This is my feelings for you to find it's not a story but a prophecy waiting on proper time. Oh, he. He stepped in his business with you, Baby D. This ain't a story story. This is me just dropping a line to let you know that the time will align in the divine rhymes. And oh, he was. He was getting his off now. He inspired me right there. He inspired me to write that respond.

[Damaris]

What a. First of all, that was a beautiful spoken word poem.

[Maul]

Rap, whatever.

[Damaris]

It was a RAP 16. Whatever it was, it was very beautiful. I appreciate you taking the time out to write something like that to me. I know that that took time and that took energy and creativity. I appreciate it. I am unfortunately taken.

[Maul]

Unfortunately.

[Damaris]

I mean, yo, yo.

[Maul]

Oh, oh, you see how fast. Yo, P.E. that wasn't 30 minutes, yo. That's crazy. Unfortunately, you take it.

[Rory]

Hold on, hold on.

[Maul]

Nah, sh. Nah, fam. Getting red wine reduction in the.

[Damaris]

All that.

[Maul]

And it's. Where you going now. Sit down.

[Rory]

Ain't no.

[Colin Coward]

Hold on.

[Maul]

Unfortunately, Baby D is in the relationship, fam. Jarvis. Jarvis. Is your name Jarvis? Unfortunately. Unfortunately, baby relationship. When yo y' all ain't. Yo, that just jumps. Y' all just jumped out. You ain't even realize what you were saying, that she just jumped. Jumped out. Unfortunately, I'm in a relationship.

[Damaris]

Let me finish my sentence. Unfortunately for you, I am in a relationship. Fortunately for me, I'm very happy. But unfortunately for you, I am in a relationship with someone else who lives in. In Georgia and is licensed.

[Maul]

It might be his, man. He might have sent his homie to send that voicemail. Like, go send his voicemail. See how she responds. Unfortunately, I'm in a relationship now.

[Damaris]

That was beautiful. I'm gonna write a poem back to him. Yeah, I'm going write a poem back to him about our unrequited love.

[Maul]

Do homie know you be writing poems? What's homie your man name?

[Damaris]

He.

[Maul]

He know.

[Damaris]

Yo, are you who you work for?

[Maul]

My. You just said you got a man. Do he know you writing poems to?

[Damaris]

I haven't written it yet, so why

[Maul]

would I tell him that hasn't happened yet, unfortunately. But I'mma write him a poem back.

[Damaris]

Write him a poem back.

[Maul]

Don't be writing no poem. Don't do that. He don't need a poem back, sir. Jarvis it.

[Daniel Cormier]

Sir.

[Maul]

Thank you. The marriage is taken. She's in a happy relationship right up

[Damaris]

to mall is accepting all poems not from.

[Maul]

No, I ain't.

[Damaris]

Why not?

[Maul]

Cuz that's gay. I'm not gay. I don't like men. Shouldn't write me poems. Oh my God, don't write me no poems. I don't want no poems from no man.

[Damaris]

Bro, my. My comments in my DMs flooded with 40 and older Dr. Umar and Fat fittings talking about some. Yeah, I've been looking for a sister. Yeah, donations I mentioned and it's my fault, cuz. I mentioned Tina Marie, the comment Commodores and Ron Isaac.

[Maul]

Oh, he thought you was from. He thought you was in his home room. He thought y' all was in high school together. He thought y' all was in high school. He like with baby D. I knew that was you, girl.

[Damaris]

Yo, and I should s even saying sister is old. That's old.

[Maul]

Yeah, he thought you was an auntie. Like. What you mean? You can't be mad at him, man. You threw out the false flag.

[Rory]

They put you on your motorola family.

[Damaris]

Around 400 followers in the past last 24 hours on tick Tock. And I want to say at least 360 of them are men between the ages of 40 and 65.

[Maul]

That's right. They at your door.

[Damaris]

Look at this DM I got.

[Maul]

He said good morning Damaris.

[Rory]

I wish he would have said good morning, sister Damaris.

[Maul]

Yeah, I'm sliding in your dm cause I do want a sister. Now holler back at this brother, young beautiful sister and fix my hog malls. Finna fix me some kidney beans. Look at his pick. You niggas be going crazy on social media.

[Rory]

How do you type that and then hit send?

[Maul]

Yeah, good morning Damaris. Sliding in your dm cause I do want a sister also.

[Rory]

That's such a old guy thing. Shooting Your shot at 8:56am is nasty work.

[Maul]

I'm right at it. I'm right at you.

[Rory]

Shoots shots. 56 in the DM.

[Maul]

I'm right at you.

[Rory]

Brush your teeth and plan your day out.

[Maul]

N. I'm. I'm already up the gym, at the gym. I already got my sets in.

[Rory]

It's lunchtime.

[Damaris]

He went on the porch with a cup of coffee and watched the sun.

[Rory]

You want to smell the grass?

[Maul]

That's a fact. Oh, you check the stocks and then check the dm. That's what he did all that morning.

[Rory]

Do.

[Damaris]

My home girl who only date like this. She my age, but she only date like this. Like, unknim. She like, nah, you. That's a good husband. He do construction. That's a good.

[Maul]

That's a good husband.

[Rory]

He'll put ceiling fans in your crib tonight.

[Damaris]

But see, that's the thing.

[Rory]

Un.

[Damaris]

Them gonna call you and be like, you, hey, it's. It's getting cold. You need them snow tires on your car. Like they. That's what they gonna do. That's unk these. These YNs ain't doing that.

[Rory]

We brought up recently that.

[Maul]

That Y ends. They ain't putting. They taking the tires off your car. They stealing them. They putting them on and they taking

[Rory]

them off and selling them to. To un Tires.

[Maul]

Exactly.

[Rory]

That's why you can replace him.

[Maul]

So many UNST workers. That's a fact.

[Rory]

We brought up that. That clip, that Good Morning Julia clip a while ago. Right?

[Damaris]

Yeah.

[Rory]

If you remember that Good morning. Because that was the white version of what you're going through right now. That's the older white guy leaving the gym, I believe is where he ran into that girl. Has a daughter that's her age, goes to high school with it. That is some creepy white shit. He had two ceiling fans in one kitchen. That was the sickest part of that. He said he built this whole house like he was a handyman. Like the marriage saying they all. Yeah, he had like, think of a small, like, long island house kitchen.

[Maul]

Like just who ceiling fan.

[Rory]

He had two in there. That's how handy he was.

[Damaris]

He be in there burning.

[Maul]

Damn. Two ceiling fans in the kitchen.

[Rory]

That's what Damaris is getting.

[Damaris]

If.

[Rory]

If she goes this route.

[Maul]

Like, but, but, but this why I don't fuck with Baby D. They'll always be a draft. Show us the DMs you responded to, though.

[Damaris]

I didn't respond. I don't respond to TikTok DMs. I'm cool.

[Maul]

Okay.

[Damaris]

I. I barely respond to Instagram. What? TikTok? No, though.

[Maul]

Okay.

[Damaris]

But I mean, I might start cuz, like, listen, I'm about to be 31 in two months. I can't.

[Daniel Cormier]

The.

[Damaris]

The. The. That are 30. It's two sets of that are 30 or three. One is gay.

[Maul]

Okay.

[Damaris]

That's. That's first set. The other set is already married, already taken. They've been taken.

[Maul]

Okay.

[Rory]

Yeah. But they definitely still trying to never

[Damaris]

want to be taken. So it's like, if I want to get married, I might have to get a. That's on his second marriage.

[Daniel Cormier]

Yeah.

[Maul]

Couple kids, second marriage. That's unknown.

[Damaris]

Unknown. I might have to do it good clean H Vac worker. He take care of his. His kids older. They graduated already. Empty nest. I might. I might.

[Maul]

President of the HOA Association.

[Rory]

The only thing that could end up being weird with that, because if it doesn't work out, which. Fine. That's how dating goes. And then you try it again, you're gonna end up with so many bonus kids, you'll have a deluxe album. At this point, how many bonus kids

[Damaris]

you not my bonus kid. If you 25, like Ball said.

[Maul]

See, try to tell y', all that's

[Damaris]

your actual kid, bro.

[Maul]

That ain't my kid, baby. That's a grown ass woman standing right there.

[Rory]

If the Marisa got into a relationship with an older man, it was working out great. And got along with the daughter and came in here and said, I have another bonus kid. She's at her 31st birthday party with

[Maul]

her, like, that's crazy. I'll be like, damaris, what you doing? No, we ain't living.

[Damaris]

I'm not gonna do that. I'm not gonna do that.

[Rory]

You would tell her that. You don't want to be her mom. You just want to have a chance to be her friend.

[Damaris]

We could be friends. We could go out when that other old. Buying our drinks, though. Don't tell your daddy, right? I don't know.

[Rory]

He's the old one buying the drinks with young girls. That's her dad.

[Damaris]

I might need to be with a. With a. That's 47. I feel like that'll be good for me, though. Cause he gonna treat me like a princess. And I know how to cook. That's all they care about.

[Maul]

That's it.

[Damaris]

I know how to cook. And. And you. You'll be knocked down. Unless. Six minutes. You ain't got that much energy and strength in your legs anyway. So we good. I feel like that'll be good for me.

[Daniel Cormier]

I'm mad at it.

[Damaris]

If I bring Unknim to the. To the single release party, y' all can, like, get it on.

[Maul]

I'm for sure he gonna Ask all

[Rory]

those old questions that I can't stand it. Thanks. So podcasting, it's like, is it like AM radio?

[Daniel Cormier]

What is it?

[Rory]

What do you do to marriage? That little thing on the set, like, oh, that's a job. I thought you all did that Just with the fellow jealous.

[Maul]

Just with the fact I don't think my star me a but a little pop. Popcast.

[Rory]

Popcast.

[Maul]

Podcast. The is a podcast. Thinking about. Go ahead and start me a little pop cast.

[Rory]

I got some opinions. Sir, the paragraphs you left on Facebook should not be recorded.

[Maul]

Got me a little Facebook group going. We gonna do us a little podcast, yo.

[Damaris]

And, like, look at the. That they're sending me. They're sending me to Facebook rolls with the. Hey, gorgeous.

[Rory]

You don't even have that on Tik Tok. Where?

[Damaris]

How did you find that on. You can't see on the screen. It's glittering. It's like it. It moves.

[Maul]

That's what you send the sisters.

[Rory]

Wait, that says, hey, gorgeous.

[Maul]

Yeah.

[Rory]

That Ro is like, what your religious aunt sends you on Facebook for.

[Damaris]

That is.

[Maul]

Or your mom's. Or your mom's coworker that watched you grow up. She find you on Facebook. I pray for you every night.

[Damaris]

Oh, my God.

[Maul]

Thank you, Ms. Carol.

[Damaris]

Hey, Ms. Carol. Nah, I'm not gonna lie, though, honestly.

[Rory]

And, like, she don't miss a holiday.

[Maul]

No. At all. But they don't miss your birthday holiday. None of that. They got it all in their phone.

[Damaris]

Oh, the happy birthday graphics they send.

[Rory]

Oh, my.

[Maul]

Oh, my God. One of my aunts texts me every holiday. Hey, this is auntie. I know, Auntie. I got you saved in my phone. Happy Kwanzaa. Thanks, Auntie. Like, thank you.

[Damaris]

Y' all celebrate that on me.

[Maul]

Love you too. Like, all right, what you want me to do with that?

[Damaris]

I'm popping all this shit. But, y', all, I found a gray hair the other day, so. So I probably should humble found a gray hair. I found my first gray hair. That shit was a humbling experience, and I caught it on camera. The TikTok is on my TikTok, but I, I.

[Maul]

You pulled it out?

[Damaris]

Yeah, I pulled that shit out.

[Maul]

That shit felt like a cat whisker, right?

[Rory]

It's been in there for years.

[Damaris]

No, listen to me.

[Maul]

That shit felt like a fishbone when

[Damaris]

I pulled it out. The top part. The top part was black. The bottom part was black. It was like a 2 inch. Inch, like, gray part, only the middle was gray. So I'm like, yo, who stressed me out for, like, six months That I got two inches of gray hair in my head and then it went back black.

[Maul]

Yeah. You might have had a stroke and didn't know it. Say your name backwards.

[Damaris]

Mal. Shut the. Yo, I.

[Rory]

Hey. He worked at a hospital. He knows what he's talking about.

[Damaris]

I hate.

[Rory]

That's a medical expert right there.

[Damaris]

That was serving the pudding, man.

[Colin Coward]

Hey, hey.

[Maul]

It was a very honorable job, Baby D. All right? The patients needed their sugar. All right? They needed their sugar. Sugar levels was low.

[Rory]

Job before podcasting was serving pudding to people.

[Damaris]

Yo, please.

[Rory]

Sometimes on holidays, you mix it up. Little snack pack.

[Maul]

Yeah, A little applesauce.

[Damaris]

And I know how they doing the dietary department. You was your co workers, weren't you?

[Maul]

It was one that wanted me to her, but I didn't. I caught my. One of my other co workers one day, like in. Yeah, like, where we had to get our uniforms from, like the. The cleaning room, the laundry room. Yeah, they was near. I went to go get my uniform one day, and he. She didn't see me. He saw me. He was like. I was like, all right, it's all good. I closed the door just. And just walked out.

[Damaris]

You to up the vibe that she was cute, too.

[Rory]

You just got a picture of mall with a tray of pudding walking in

[Maul]

on two co workers in the basement, and they slam. It was in there wrestling. I said, oh, it's stinking here. You say that. Close the door when you walk out. Oh, it's stinking here.

[Rory]

Yo, is this a gyno wing?

[Damaris]

The first time I smell somebody else's sex. Oh, my. I was changed. Forever changed.

[Maul]

Yeah.

[Damaris]

Walking in the room after somebody like,

[Maul]

oh, y' all ain't cracking. Y ain't crack a window, nothing.

[Rory]

It's like your family house smell. You're used to smell someone else's sometimes.

[Damaris]

Yeah.

[Maul]

It's like, which hole was that smelling like that. Was that the front door?

[Rory]

I was getting freaky.

[Colin Coward]

Freaky

[Damaris]

bacteria.

[Maul]

Stinking asses.

[Colin Coward]

Hi, it's Colin Coward from the Colin Coward podcast. All right. You know what deserves more attention? The assists. Everybody talks about the goal. A big moment that gets replayed on the highlight reels. But too often, we overlook all the contributions and collabs that happen along the way. That's true in soccer and honestly true in life. Halion is shining a light on the assists, an official partner of U.S. soccer. They got a whole lineup of brands ready to deliver for you. So here they are. Sensodyne, dentist recommended. Defense of your sensitive teeth. Centrum. Fueling your day with science backed nutrients. Advil, of course. Powerful Inflammation Fighting Pain Relief Voltaren Arthritis Gel helps penetrate deep, keeps the joints moving and tums ready to counterattack with fast heartburn relief. These are brands that are ready to deliver your essential wellness assists because every goal starts with an assist, learn how Halion can assist your game day [e-mail]

[Daniel Cormier]

Con this is Daniel Cormier from the Daniel Cormier Show. This podcast is sponsored by Total Wireless, the official wireless partner of ufc. Power doesn't wait in the octagon or outside. Outside of it, you either make the move or you miss the moment. That's why you need a network that's just as powerful as you are. With Total Wireless, you get unlimited 5G data keeping you in the action from the walkouts to the knockouts. Now that's a total power move. Make your total Power move today. Visit totalwireless.com or stop by your neighborhood Total Wireless Store. Additional terms apply. See totalwireless.com for details.

[Rory]

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[Damaris]

on women's health and longevity is brought to you by Seneca and our partner, LifeMD. LifeMD believes every woman should have access to affordable prescription medication and personalized care that understands the whole woman. Through virtual care and insurance supported options, LifeMD is making expert women's healthcare more accessible. Accessible and affordable. This is an iHeart podcast. Guaranteed Human.