Episode 241 | Care Package

Summary

Podcast Summary: New Rory & MAL – Episode 241 | Care Package

Introduction

In Episode 241 of New Rory & MAL, titled "Care Package," hosts from iHeartPodcasts and The Volume delve into a myriad of topics ranging from celebrity mishaps and sexual dynamics to college life and societal issues. The conversation, rich with humor and candidness, offers listeners an unfiltered glimpse into the hosts' perspectives on trending events and personal anecdotes.

---

1. Drake's Leaked Video Controversy

The episode kicks off with a heated discussion about the recent leak of Drake's personal video, sparking debates on celebrity privacy and intentional leaks.

• Speculation on Intentional Leak:
  Rory (00:27): “Yeah. All you self promoters are janky. We established like the Yankees this whole game thankless.”

• Comparisons to Past Celebrity Leaks:
  Damaris (14:03): “Janet's nipple. One Super Bowl got to be bigger than that.”

• Potential Motivations:
  Rory (02:30): “Why do you even need to play those games? You're Drake. Why do you send stuff like that?”

The hosts ponder whether Drake orchestrated the leak for publicity, comparing it to other high-profile incidents like Janet Jackson's Super Bowl wardrobe malfunction and Kanye West's leaks.

---

2. The Dick Pic Debate and Sexual Dynamics

A significant portion of the episode is dedicated to exploring the norms and double standards surrounding the sharing of explicit images.

• Double Standards in Sharing Dick Pics:
  Damaris (04:29): “Why do they feel the need to use that word? There's a million other eight things that they could call you.”

• Experiences and Hypotheticals:
  Maul (03:04): “I mean, why not if that's your girl you with? Like, yeah, it doesn't matter how famous you are.”

The discussion highlights the societal expectations and personal boundaries regarding explicit content, emphasizing the discomfort and potential repercussions of sharing such images.

---

3. Circumcision: Health, Culture, and Personal Views

Transitioning from sexual topics, the hosts engage in a deep dive into the subject of circumcision, intertwining personal experiences with broader cultural and religious implications.

• Personal Experiences:
  Damaris (41:53): “They taught us about smegma. It's a cheesy substance that grows foreskin of uncircumcised dick.”

• Cultural and Religious Perspectives:
  Rory (42:02): “I know that there's... there's a religious practice.”

• Debate on Benefits and Downsides:
  Maul (44:11): “There are dick implants, but no.”

The conversation covers the medical reasons behind circumcision, its prevalence in different cultures, and a critical look at modern trends questioning the necessity of the practice.

---

4. College Life: Fraternities, Hazing, and Social Dynamics

The episode vividly recounts the chaotic and often perilous experiences associated with college fraternities and sororities.

• Personal Anecdotes on Hazing:
  Rory (74:02): “Hazing is very illegal.”

• Fraternities vs. Gangs:
  Maul (61:50): “Fraternities are nothing but a bunch of kids with mental illnesses just trying to trauma bond.”

• Tragic Incidents:
  Rory (72:24): “He choked on his vomit.”

The hosts share stories of extreme hazing rituals, the blurred lines between fraternities and gangs, and the severe consequences that can arise from such toxic environments.

---

5. Netflix Shows: "Griselda" and "Love on the Spectrum"

Shifting gears, the discussion moves to their views on popular Netflix series, analyzing their accuracy and impact.

• "Griselda":
  Maul (79:36): “I felt like that was just a thing. Her real life story was way more vicious and brutal than that.”

• "Love on the Spectrum":
  Damaris (87:00): “It's extremely informative... shows how autistic people can live a normal life.”

The hosts critique the dramatization and factual inaccuracies in "Griselda" while praising the sensitivity and educational value of "Love on the Spectrum."

---

6. Cancel Culture and Shane Gillis on SNL

A passionate debate ensues over the concept of cancel culture, using Shane Gillis’s return to Saturday Night Live as a focal point.

• Opposing Views on Cancel Culture:
  Maul (97:38): “Canceling somebody over a joke is stupid.”

• Defense of Intent in Comedy:
  Damaris (103:35): “You can make a racist joke without using a slur.”

• Impact on Comedians:
  Julian (101:00): “Every comedian's intent was to be funny, not hateful.”

The conversation explores the balance between holding individuals accountable and preserving the freedom of comedic expression, ultimately criticizing the rigidity and often unfair nature of cancel culture.

---

7. Racial Slurs: Usage and Cultural Context

The hosts engage in a nuanced discussion about the use of racial slurs, particularly the N-word, and its cultural ramifications.

• Cultural Ownership of Slurs:
  Damaris (108:19): “Only black people should be able to say that.”

• Personal Boundaries and Respect:
  Maul (111:35): “We grew up together... but we’re not going to tell me a white person that loves their favorite hip hop artists if they're in their crib alone listening to rap... they don’t say the word.”

• Desire to Eliminate Offensive Language:
  Damaris (109:35): “I would prefer no one use the word.”

The discussion emphasizes the importance of context, cultural sensitivity, and personal respect in the usage of offensive language, advocating for its elimination regardless of intent.

---

8. Closing Thoughts: Music, Meditation, and Personal Growth

In the latter part of the episode, the hosts touch upon topics like Usher’s upcoming album, meditation practices, and personal development.

• Excitement for New Music:
  Rory (38:23): “Care package has some good songs on it too.”

• Meditation and Tantric Practices:
  Julian (124:12): “It's supposed to heal sexual trauma as well.”

The episode wraps up with light-hearted banter about upcoming music releases and the benefits of meditation and tantric practices for personal well-being.

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Conclusion

Episode 241 of New Rory & MAL offers a compelling mix of humor, personal stories, and critical discussions on contemporary issues. From celebrity leaks and sexual norms to cultural practices and societal debates, the hosts provide an engaging narrative that is both entertaining and thought-provoking for listeners.

Notable Quotes:

• Rory on Double Standards:
  “Why do you even need to play those games? You're Drake. Why do you send stuff like that?” (02:30)

• Damaris on Slurs:
  “Only black people should be able to say that word.” (108:19)

• Maul on Cancel Culture:
  “Canceling somebody over a joke is stupid.” (97:38)

---

For more insightful discussions and unfiltered conversations, subscribe to New Rory & MAL on your favorite podcast platform.

Transcript

[Maul]

Well, Drake, don't do that again, man. Cause I'm gonna delete all your music out my. Cause he has a. Nah, but he. Drake ain't supposed to be doing it.

[Rory]

If you saw it, you'd be. You'd be so much more judgmental.

[Damaris]

He ain't flopping around. Y'all know the inflatables outside of the.

[Maul]

See, I'm about to follow dogs.

[Damaris]

I'm about to delete this inflatables outside of the car.

[Maul]

Seeing that I'm about to delete no warrior now.

[Rory]

Yeah. All you self promoters are janky. We established like the Yankees this whole game thankless.

[Damaris]

We moving militant.

[Rory]

But somehow you the one tanking.

[Maul]

No limit to why I could take it.

[Rory]

And you know me as a crisp bottle sender.

[Maul]

Check pick up. I thought we looked out for one another.

[Rory]

Saw us all as brothers in a struggle.

[Maul]

Too blessed to be humble. I guess it's different in the city I come from.

[Rory]

All of a sudden I got a meaning.

[Maul]

No, you can talk about that on your Instagram Live.

[Rory]

I've never gone live on Instagram. Don't put that on.

[Maul]

This could be your first time.

[Rory]

I only go live on Instagram when it's with the Maris.

[Julian]

Well, I was really interested how we were going to come in to today's episode and avoid that topic for mall because he's the one that would be uncomfortable to discuss it. Right.

[Maul]

Who would be. Who would. Who's comfortable talking about that?

[Julian]

I mean, I didn't see it, but. But it was trending.

[Rory]

Couldn't miss it.

[Maul]

I. That's what y'all want to talk about?

[Julian]

Was it revenge porn?

[Rory]

That's my curiosity thing with someone that is so meticulous. I don't think that was an accident.

[Julian]

You think Drake leaked his own dick?

[Rory]

Yeah, I don't even. I'm not here to really talk about the dick itself. I'm here to talk about the. The antics behind the. The video. He wanted that to get out.

[Julian]

I probably think he didn't care either way.

[Rory]

I mean, I wouldn't care either way.

[Julian]

He has a long history of his music getting leaked and not intentionally so. I don't think, you know, his icloud is that difficult to hack. I did see everyone thinking that he leaked it, but I don't particularly care. I didn't see it, but I heard great things.

[Rory]

Yeah, it's tight. My. My question because I have more questions that are less about the dick itself, which is not what you would think expect from why if you're someone of that Level. Why do you send stuff like that? What's the point? You're you. Why do you even need to play those games?

[Julian]

Just getting, getting the off.

[Damaris]

You think success makes you less horny?

[Rory]

No, it's not about horny for me. It's just. Why would you feel the need? You're Drake.

[Julian]

Maybe it was self love. Maybe you didn't send it. Maybe he took the video for him.

[Rory]

That's crazy.

[Julian]

And it was in his icloud mall.

[Rory]

Can you please say something? It's not about the. The video. It's just like in. Think about it from that angle. Like, why, if you're the of that level, do you feel the need to send that to someone? Or would you even have that? I don't get that.

[Maul]

I mean, why not if that's your girl you with? Like, yeah, it doesn't matter how famous you are. Like, you think famous women don't take new pictures. We've seen it all the time. Like, it's not something that's not like, success and fame doesn't make you not want to like, have phone sex with someone.

[Julian]

Like, and on top of that, like still human. You just have to understand that women are evil creatures. And anytime you said to dick pic, it's ended up in a group chat. Like, all of our dicks are in the algorithms privately somewhere looking at me.

[Damaris]

For to confirm I don't have your dick in my group chat.

[Rory]

I've never sent a dick pic.

[Julian]

You're a loser.

[Maul]

How have you never sent the dick pic? And you on like seven dating apps.

[Julian]

Yeah, I thought that's like in the profile image.

[Damaris]

No, no.

[Rory]

Also Damaris can speak to this. There's nothing more gross on a dating app than just opening your phone to women's looking at a dick that they unsolicited dick pic.

[Maul]

No, not unsolicited. I'm just saying, like, if you're on a dating. If you're on dating apps the way you are, like, I would think that a, a dick pic is part of your.

[Rory]

Like, I don't have a folder ready to go.

[Maul]

It's like part of your. Like, you know, I mean, like, hey, I'm a Libra and I have a penis. Yeah, like, that's part of it.

[Rory]

No, the girls do that to Maris. Have you gotten random, like, in your group chat?

[Damaris]

I've seen, I've seen other men's dicks that were not involved with me directly. Yes, I have. Women, definitely.

[Maul]

Yeah, women do that all the time. I don't mind it cross marketing.

[Rory]

It's actually.

[Julian]

Yeah, I've said it on the pod. I had a woman tell me that Mall's missile ended up in. In one of her group chats. And I was like, why are you telling me that?

[Maul]

Fire.

[Damaris]

Please don't ever refer to Jamal's dick as Mall's missile effort.

[Maul]

Wait, she used my full name?

[Julian]

Please.

[Maul]

She's gonna use my last name, too.

[Rory]

Like, well, Damaris. You saw the video.

[Damaris]

What video?

[Rory]

Oh, so, okay.

[Damaris]

I mean, it's a dick. I don't.

[Rory]

But that's the thing. Like, what's the goal with that? What do you. What do you want someone to say? Like, what's the. That's why I never send it. Because it's like, okay, now what?

[Damaris]

Some girls like it. Well, I. I have a friend shout out to her who requests dick pics before she'll even continue to date you.

[Maul]

Oh, I like her already.

[Damaris]

She won't. Yeah, she won't waste her time if she doesn't like what she sees.

[Julian]

Wait, so, like, you're right. Hold on. So, like, if she meets someone just on Instagram or, like, out.

[Maul]

She's like, what's your favorite food?

[Damaris]

She's talking. If she's talking.

[Maul]

Okay, now show me your penis.

[Damaris]

Say, like, after, like, the first date. If she decides on the first day, oh, I would sleep with this person. She asked for a dick pic before she. Even before she allows herself to start. Like.

[Maul]

But why? Like, she's trying to gauge it. Like, to see if it's like, what.

[Rory]

Are the qualities that she's looking for.

[Damaris]

She absolutely will not sleep with small penis. She will not do it.

[Julian]

Does she, like, request it next to a remote? How does she gauge.

[Damaris]

I felt you. I think your hand has to be on it. I would have to ask. Pretty sure. Her. Her hand. Your hand has to be on it so she can see the measurement. But some men have bigger hands than others.

[Rory]

I was gonna say shaky.

[Julian]

I don't know how it feel. Like, out the gate, just saying, hey, I do want to sleep with you, but I. Please send me your dick first. I'd feel a little. A little weird about that. And I'm kind of. I'm pretty liberal with.

[Rory]

Could go the Louis CK route and just pull it out.

[Maul]

Yeah, no, you shouldn't.

[Rory]

No, if she wants that, like, you.

[Maul]

Have to, like, on demand. The on demand backout is crazy.

[Damaris]

The on demand backout is crazy because what if she's disappointed?

[Julian]

That'd be heartbreaking.

[Rory]

That's a tough question.

[Julian]

She wasn't upset. Cause it was like, Unsolicited or some creepy shit. She's like, ugh, just let out all the air.

[Maul]

I told y'all the story about this dude that we was all in the crib one night. It was like our little house party. And he was like, yeah, I made like, 70 something girls squirt before. So, you know, once he said that, I start killing him. I'm like, you a fucking unicorn. Like, who are you? I said. And then I think he's like, a comedian. I'm like, you in the wrong business if you made 70 something girls squirt before. You're in the wrong business if you're a comedian.

[Julian]

It's a lot of bodies in general, let alone making them all squirt.

[Maul]

So then naturally, every girl in the room was like, I man a poncho. I want to see it. Like, let me see it. So then all the dudes, like, walked out of, like, the room and like, I guess, like, he pulled the shit out. And then, like, we walked back and it was just like, you could tell, like, the girls weren't like, stand up.

[Julian]

They were laughing.

[Maul]

So I was like, so now when we walk back in the room, it's like everybody's just sitting there like, eh, okay. So I'm looking at him the rest of the night like, there's no way you're comfortable in this, like, party that.

[Julian]

But what is the topic of conversation once all the guys walk back in? Is it just quiet and people are looking at each other?

[Maul]

Yeah, it was kind of like.

[Julian]

Cause as a man, you can't be like, so how was it?

[Maul]

Yeah, like, it was just, like, quiet. None of the girls were, like. They didn't seem like they were overly impressed and shit. And I was just like, you feel so stupid now. I know you do. Like, you have to feel stupid after doing that.

[Rory]

When you told that story, this is the response that came into my mind when everyone leaves the room.

[Maul]

We been in there.

[Rory]

There ain't nothing going on.

[Julian]

Ain't nothing going on after storming the capital is crazy.

[Rory]

We've been in there.

[Julian]

I just thought that we the people died.

[Maul]

Every girl in there was like. It's like, you know, it was all right, whatever. I guess, like, you know, I mean.

[Julian]

I have no issues with a woman requesting a dick pic. I just think under the circumstances of, hey, we just had a first date and I want to sleep with you, but I gotta see it first. At least just lie to me and be like, yo, just send me a dick pic.

[Maul]

So then I'm. I'm well, you talking about just over the phone? Yeah, because then. All right, well, then she gotta get. She gotta get naked.

[Julian]

Like, she does have to reciprocate that energy.

[Maul]

I gotta see if we're doing that. Yeah, Yeah. I gotta see what it's looking like.

[Damaris]

That's not fair.

[Maul]

Why? It's not fair.

[Damaris]

The reason why I said that that's not fair. Well, I don't do that. But the reason why I said that I wouldn't think that that would be fair is because the way that my body looks doesn't affect. You're. You can't tell what my pussy is gonna feel like from the way that you. From looking at my body?

[Maul]

Yeah, but it's kind of like.

[Damaris]

It's kind of like game plan, direct correlation.

[Maul]

Like, if you got thick thighs, nice butt, you know, kind of know which angle we gonna go in first. Like, we gonna run the triangle offense or we're gonna go ISO top.

[Rory]

That's true.

[Maul]

High pick and rolls.

[Damaris]

But you can see if I got thicker off. You could see that.

[Rory]

Yeah.

[Damaris]

You know? Yeah.

[Maul]

And I gotta study the floor.

[Julian]

It's harder to do the catfish when you're butt ass naked. Right.

[Rory]

That's a fact.

[Julian]

That's why a man could maybe want to know as well before.

[Maul]

Yeah, well, that's.

[Julian]

If we just meet on ig.

[Damaris]

I don't really know if we went on a date. We're talking about after a date or two. If we went on a date, you.

[Julian]

Could, but I don't know, like, catfish. So sometimes how women dress, like, take that file. I don't know what you're hiding under there. In a good way. You know, maybe she likes the baggy clothes look.

[Maul]

So. All right, your girl, your girlfriend, like, she, she. She wants a dick pic before she even agrees to go on a date. Right?

[Damaris]

So not before she agrees to go on a date. After a couple of dates.

[Maul]

So I. So is it okay for the guy to ask to smell it on a date?

[Rory]

That's different.

[Maul]

How? How is it different?

[Rory]

Well, I mean, because I don't know.

[Julian]

If there's much difference there.

[Maul]

It's not much of a difference.

[Rory]

She was white.

[Damaris]

That's crazy.

[Rory]

The guy's dick, you're saying to see.

[Maul]

If he got it.

[Rory]

Let me see my nose in your pussy.

[Maul]

No, I'm just saying, like, she can rub it in. Like, let me smell her finger.

[Rory]

It's like a wafting.

[Maul]

Yeah, like, let me smell it.

[Rory]

Okay.

[Julian]

I'm very wine tasting.

[Rory]

I'm picturing.

[Maul]

I'm not saying me get down and, like, smell. No, I'm saying, like, yo, I.

[Julian]

You want to see if Saddle Ranch.

[Maul]

Yeah, like, you want to see if my equipment is. Is. Is. Is. Is, you know, is well endowed enough for you to want to sleep with me.

[Rory]

True.

[Maul]

I want to see if your PH balance is leveled enough for me to want to lay that. Lay down with you.

[Rory]

You should take one of those pH strips and kind of, like, insert it.

[Maul]

And then it's not a chloro.

[Rory]

You want base. That's acidic. Is red. You don't want that.

[Maul]

Yeah, but I don't know if that works.

[Julian]

Coming out red.

[Maul]

You talk about, like, pool coming out red.

[Julian]

That's a tampon.

[Maul]

Yeah, I don. That's cool.

[Julian]

We.

[Damaris]

I blame myself for this conversation.

[Julian]

We've heard of plenty of times of men talking their way out of the box. They would have got some just. They just would have shut up.

[Maul]

Yeah.

[Julian]

Damaris Oriomi. Has a guy's dick pic ever gotten them out of the opportunity to, like, you would have. And then they sent a dick pic, and it was like, nah, I'm cool if it.

[Maul]

No, not unsolicited. I'm saying.

[Julian]

Yeah, no, not unsolicited.

[Maul]

It was kind of like y'all was sexting, and they got there, and then you seen it and was like, that's kind of. I don't know.

[Damaris]

Yomi said it was more somebody backed out on you.

[Maul]

I can't even see a dude backing.

[Rory]

Out in person is sick.

[Damaris]

Backing out. And I duck on Yomi, though.

[Maul]

A dude backing out on yomi is crazy.

[Julian]

Backing out, backing out and not needing that much space.

[Maul]

So, like, the streets of New York.

[Julian]

Like, you could have. You could have just stood there.

[Damaris]

So.

[Rory]

Oh, Memphis.

[Maul]

He was like, oh, can't do it. After he backed out.

[Julian]

Ooh, can't do it is hilarious.

[Maul]

And that sounds like a song.

[Damaris]

Wait, how did you get out of the back out? Yomi?

[Julian]

She walked forward.

[Maul]

She called her Uber. She called the Uber?

[Damaris]

Yeah.

[Maul]

So wait, y'all were like.

[Damaris]

Y'all were like.

[Maul]

Were y'all, like, talking? Y'all were, like, talking and.

[Damaris]

Damn.

[Rory]

Damn.

[Maul]

And he backed out, and you was like, I'm cool. Rough, yo, that's gotta be dead.

[Rory]

He kills himself.

[Maul]

Yeah, he. He might have killed a body after that. He might have killed somebody after that.

[Julian]

Do you think he tried to convince himself it was something else?

[Maul]

What can you. What can you convince, like, because if.

[Rory]

Everything'S going cool.

[Maul]

After he backed out.

[Julian]

Say, yo, I just want to be friends after we was ready to. Does it make it much worse.

[Maul]

Yo, I back out.

[Julian]

She like, yo, you have friendly dick.

[Maul]

Like, what?

[Rory]

You gave him dap, yo.

[Maul]

What? How do you go back to that?

[Rory]

You like good. Good looks, bro.

[Maul]

You know how crazy that is? Like, yo, that has to.

[Julian]

That's more like my sis.

[Maul]

That has to crush a man. He was crushed. Y'all still speak. No, I know that part. I'm just saying, like, y'all still like.

[Rory]

Damn, that's crazy.

[Damaris]

He's trying to the friend zone.

[Julian]

Like, he doesn't want that.

[Damaris]

That crawl back in. Crawling out the friend zone just to be banished back is crazy.

[Maul]

No, but a girl did that to me before. She. She definitely, like, took me out the friend zone. We had sex, but then she, like, she threw me back.

[Rory]

Oh, you told us that. Yeah, that was a great.

[Maul]

That was the worst. What is it?

[Rory]

And you said it was fire.

[Maul]

Incredible that.

[Damaris]

That he's still bothered by it. You saw he brought it up again.

[Maul]

No, because it's like.

[Julian]

Saw that Drake video.

[Maul]

It's like, what?

[Julian]

Huh? What are you hitting Julian for?

[Damaris]

Because that was gay as Rory.

[Julian]

Yeah, Like, I didn't see the video.

[Rory]

Roy's pretending like he didn't see.

[Julian]

I really didn't see it.

[Rory]

I want to keep talking.

[Julian]

I am comfortable enough with my sexuality. If I would have saw the video, I would have said, I saw the video.

[Rory]

I didn't go out of my way to see it. I just opened Twitter and it was there.

[Damaris]

I don't believe you.

[Rory]

And then I went to trending, and it was like, Drake leak straight. I was like. I was like, oh. My initial thought was like, oh, it would have been music. But I saw the leak that they were referring to.

[Julian]

I'm probably gonna make mall uncomfortable with this question, but is this the biggest celebrity nude leak of all time?

[Damaris]

Yes.

[Maul]

No, the biggest celebrity. Oh. Not really new, but Janet's nipple. One super bowl got to be bigger than that.

[Rory]

That's a bigger stage.

[Julian]

Yeah. That was wild.

[Maul]

Yeah.

[Rory]

I think Drake's bigger pause like, yo, what's up? As a person. Damn. There's no way to say this.

[Maul]

I think, like, Janet was at the Super Bowl.

[Julian]

Justin. Justin Timberlake exposed her titty at halftime.

[Rory]

Setting's important, but I think Drake means to more people, if that makes sense.

[Julian]

Like in Janet Jackson's titty being exposed by Justin Timberlake.

[Rory]

But you're see. Take the setting out of it.

[Julian]

Okay. Justin Timberlake taking out Janet Jackson City.

[Maul]

You just talking about the artist.

[Rory]

I'm just saying the artist.

[Maul]

That's a Jackson, though.

[Julian]

I Think had Rihanna stayed naked for 20 years. Those first Rihanna leaks were crazy.

[Rory]

Drake was lying on his bed, butt ass like that. That was also just a titty.

[Damaris]

Like, he was butt ass. I didn't even notice that. You really. You really surveyed that video, didn't you?

[Rory]

It was a. It was D time.

[Maul]

Butt ass on the hammer pick is crazy.

[Rory]

So if you guys want to. He was laying down.

[Julian]

I feel like no pants and a shirt on.

[Maul]

I don't want. I don't. I don't want to hear about what Drake was doing.

[Rory]

He was facing a mirror, and he was filming the mirror.

[Damaris]

You really watch out this video.

[Rory]

Watch. It's like, eight seconds. You see it?

[Maul]

What's up with your man over here, though?

[Julian]

I mean, he.

[Rory]

I don't know. I think it's a bigger. To your question. I think it's a bigger video than anyone.

[Damaris]

I don't think it'll be bigger. I don't. I get what they were saying. But as far as a actual leak, yes, it's probably the biggest leak leak.

[Julian]

Kanye's leak happened, but it just didn't. Like, the Internet wasn't as big.

[Rory]

He's a leak.

[Damaris]

Kanye has a leak. You're definitely about to go.

[Julian]

I was at. I was at Death Jam when it happened. It was huge News on the 27th floor.

[Maul]

I don't remember that.

[Julian]

Yeah, it was a year. It was right around, like, my beautiful, dark, twisted fantasy. It was post Taylor.

[Rory]

He leaked in Hawaii.

[Maul]

Leaked in Hawaii.

[Julian]

I think someone got to his email or something. He definitely didn't leak it, but it didn't catch Legs, like, other news.

[Damaris]

Oh, the joke is right.

[Maul]

The interesting part about that whole Drake video thing was watching all the girls on the timeline that allegedly, like, been with Drake, like, confirming, like, yeah, nah, that's real. Like, you had to see the girls. I was just like, yo, like, how do you fake.

[Julian]

How do you fake a dick video.

[Maul]

From what I was.

[Julian]

From.

[Maul]

What I was, like, seeing was people saying, like, it could be AI Generated. Like, it's that on, like, a real video. Like, people were just saying a bunch of things. And then, like, women were confirming, like, on the timeline. Like, I guess letting everybody know, like, I slept with him. I know, yo, the person said, AI.

[Julian]

A dick on Drake needs to be arrested.

[Rory]

In porn when they do the fake dick. Like, in porn when they use, like, a fake dick sometimes. And like, those, like, ridiculous, like, where they come. A quarter semen. It's like, all right, that's obviously a fake dick. I'm not trying to put this on Drake, but I could see him have it, like, doing that, like, having one of those.

[Julian]

What made you, like, get to that conclusion that you thought that Drake would be, like, the fake dick guy, not the fit.

[Rory]

I'm just saying, if you're going to leak Miller, like, just. I'm still on the side. Put it out.

[Maul]

Okay, so you think Drake put that out himself?

[Rory]

Kinda.

[Julian]

No, it would just be weird.

[Maul]

Why are you.

[Damaris]

Okay, I'm saying that he did, but my. Why are you so sure that he didn't?

[Maul]

Why would he. What would be the point of Drake? Like, what is that gonna. Like, he's already the one of the biggest recording stars ever. I think he has every beautiful girl on Instagram already that he's probably slept with. Like, what would he gain out of putting out a dick video? What would he gain? They don't. They don't already. Like, what would he gain out of that?

[Julian]

Boredom. He's on tour.

[Maul]

Nah, you ain't that bored, bro.

[Julian]

Yeah, it's pretty bored.

[Maul]

Nobody not.

[Julian]

Not.

[Maul]

Come on. This is one of the biggest recording artists in the world. He's not bored. What do you think?

[Julian]

Like, the green room at the Cole and Drake show is like, that next day.

[Maul]

That's the.

[Julian]

That's got to be a weird.

[Maul]

That's the better question. Like, if you like. Rory, if you.

[Rory]

They all saw it.

[Maul]

Rory, if your dick pic leaked tomorrow, you gotta know that I'm coming in here and I'm sure I'm laughing at, like, what's up with you?

[Julian]

If it leaks, we can put it on.

[Rory]

It would be on the screen.

[Julian]

Yeah.

[Maul]

No, I don't want to see that, man. Like, it's like the homies. That's the homie. I don't want to see that.

[Julian]

Well, that's why I was very confused when that woman told me that your dick was in their group chat. I was like, what do you. What would you like me to do with that information? Would you like me to reply?

[Rory]

Airdrop it.

[Maul]

Airdrop it.

[Julian]

Yo, add me to the chat.

[Rory]

Is he an 8yo?

[Maul]

Let me ask you a serious.

[Julian]

But then on top of that.

[Maul]

Now, hold on, hold on. ISO. Let me ask you a serious question. Because, you know, because he do this whole topic, and then we had to talk about if you got life in jail. You was like, yo, you would a guy. You basically said you would a guy. Like, are you like, what's up with you?

[Rory]

I said.

[Maul]

You basically said that.

[Rory]

I never said that.

[Maul]

You basically said you like, you something.

[Damaris]

I'm something.

[Julian]

You did not say it.

[Rory]

Yeah, but like, there's CEOs that are women.

[Maul]

That's okay. So. So why did you allude to me that I would a man.

[Julian]

It's like four episodes ago. Still lingering.

[Maul]

No, no, he. That tied into this. Like, his energy is just a little like, yo, what's up with you? So, you all right?

[Rory]

I'm good. I. I think this is funny. I like, this topic is so funny because it's. It's just. Why not, like, why not laugh at this? I think it's funny.

[Maul]

No, we can laugh at it. But like, you're saying where it's like.

[Rory]

Well, yeah, I'm going to make shitty sus jokes. That's my. I'm here to do that.

[Julian]

Okay.

[Rory]

That's my thing.

[Julian]

Should I have defended Mall in that situation? Now I'm starting to feel like maybe.

[Maul]

Like a bad friend defended me. Why?

[Julian]

Because I don't. I highly doubt that you gave that girl permission to put your dick in that group chat.

[Rory]

You're a victim.

[Maul]

Yeah, but when you do that, when you talking to a girl and you. And you do that, you. You kind of know.

[Julian]

You. You know, but that's. And someone that believes in double standards, that's just something a woman could do.

[Maul]

Oh, yeah.

[Julian]

If I was talking to a girl and put her nudes in our group chat, that would be the corniest thing.

[Maul]

Yeah, we can't do that.

[Julian]

No, but now it's like, now it's like, kind of hurt.

[Rory]

Guys don't do that to women.

[Damaris]

Yes, the.

[Maul]

No guys do.

[Julian]

I can assess that.

[Maul]

They never have any groups. I would never do that. But. But guys have done that. I've been. I'm in group chats with dudes and they put like, girls that they talking to nudes. And I'm like, that's weird. Yeah.

[Rory]

You know, the funny thing is because I've had guys, like, show me, like, look at this girl. I'm looking. And then like a month or two later, they're like, in a real relationship with them. Like, damn, I've seen your girl's.

[Maul]

Right? Yeah.

[Rory]

Now you're getting engaged.

[Julian]

I. I have.

[Rory]

That's happened.

[Julian]

I had a friend that did that a lot that would just show videos on. Like, no one would ask. Like, no one would call. Like, yo, what happened with Jordy last night? He would just come and show a video of him. It. I'm like, what do you. I don't care to see that, sir.

[Maul]

It's a deeper thing behind that, though. Like, to me, that's like, dudes, trying to validate that they have sex with girls because they secretly have sex with men.

[Julian]

I mean, I never took it that.

[Maul]

Far, but that's a fact. Like, you trying to validate. Like, yo, see, I get pussy. I don't care what you doing, sir. Like, I don't care who you laying down with, like, as long as it's consensual. Adults. I don't care. You don't have to prove to me that you have sex with women. That's not.

[Damaris]

That's weird because they look up to you. I told y'all these niggas be homoerotic, and they look up to y'all. They want validation from men.

[Maul]

Like, well, I don't any man want validation from me of him having sex with a girl is absolutely insane and weird.

[Julian]

And then, like, play out that scenario.

[Maul]

What.

[Julian]

What is the best ending? I'm gonna be like, yo, you tore that up, bro. Like, what am I gonna say?

[Maul]

That's gonna be.

[Rory]

Yeah.

[Julian]

Like, yo, what a stroke. Like, I don't. What am I gonna say?

[Maul]

Like, yo, you went crazy. Right here, son. Right here. Oh, that leg move you 15 minutes, 15 seconds. Right here. You going crazy.

[Rory]

Airdrop that to me at 22 seconds. You went in.

[Damaris]

That's game tape. I'm gonna watch that before my next rendezvous.

[Julian]

To steal that one from you. Don't worry. I'll give you credit to what Julian had said. Has that ever happened in any y'all group chats where a girl is putting a dick pic of the guy that she's talking to and now that's her boyfriend, and now you're. You're at birthday dinners.

[Rory]

Yes.

[Damaris]

And I know that he got a yes.

[Julian]

This is why you can't trust women, and women don't have friends.

[Damaris]

Yeah, but you can't. You can't send me no big ass bait, third leg, and then now he's paying for catch, and you want me to just forget that this dick is hanging outside his drawers? I can't do that. I'm not. I would never come at him, actually. I'm kind of grossed out. I don't want to look him in his eyes now. But, yeah, you can't forget that. You don't forget that somebody has that on them.

[Rory]

I imagine that's the equivalent when a girl wears a really low cut, revealing shirt, and she has huge, just massive tits, and you can just see them at all times, but you can't. You can't say anything about them. You know they're there. Even though she kind of Wants you to see them. But you can't cross that boundary. It's a whole dance we play every day. But it's like in Damaris, it's like, you know it's there. You can't say anything about it.

[Maul]

Right.

[Rory]

We all know it's there. So now that's my thoughts on Drake.

[Maul]

You know, it's 2024. Like people really don't care if you're gay or not. Like that's like it actually do better.

[Julian]

For this pod if you just come out.

[Damaris]

Men who were on the. There were so many more men, commented Andrew.

[Rory]

Yeah, it was crazy.

[Damaris]

Than women. I was so disgusted, I had to get off Twitter.

[Julian]

I mean, what does that say about this generation? Is that a progressive thing? Yeah. Or are we terrified for our youth?

[Rory]

It's progressive. I think it's fun that people think it's fun to like in the past. It's like people would play that. I didn't see it. But you did cough.

[Julian]

I mean, look, if I would have seen Drake's dick, I would have said I saw Drake's dick. I don't particularly care.

[Damaris]

Aiden Ross was like, like, woo. That boy got a missile on him. That's why he act like that. I swear to God.

[Rory]

You hear the voice note you sent to Drake?

[Maul]

That's what.

[Damaris]

And Drake said I was like, yeah.

[Maul]

See, that's why I was just, you know, I'm so glad I was born when I was born that it's just certain things that just. I just can't do. And I can't say, I mean, is.

[Julian]

There much difference though? Because I call you an 8 pretty often. Ever since you were rated on that site.

[Maul]

But you only call me an eight because somebody on Dick. Yo, some girl said I was an.

[Julian]

8 rated you an 8.

[Maul]

Yeah, but you don't. You don't know like Aiden Ross. I didn't video. Yeah, like, Aiden Ross watched a video like, and he's like hitting Drake, talking about his like, what is that?

[Rory]

He left him a voice note and Drake responded and said he read the text, he sent a bunch of laughing emojis and he said, I might use this as an intro on a song.

[Julian]

Jesus Christ.

[Damaris]

Because Aiden Ross was just based like, yo, bro, you got like a missile on you that.

[Julian]

Please, like, I don't want to hear that song.

[Damaris]

What the is the way he skips.

[Julian]

Forrest Gump is I would skip the Aiden Ross Drake dick song.

[Maul]

Yeah, I'm not.

[Julian]

I don't care how good it was. I wouldn't get to the rest of.

[Rory]

The record, Adam22 probably had the strangest response.

[Damaris]

He was really. He was surprised.

[Rory]

He was mad at Aiden because he said he stole that moment from him. That was his story to share about drake.

[Maul]

Well, Adam.

[Julian]

Adam, 22, he's on a sexual spectrum. That's a.

[Maul]

No, he's a. I don't think. I don't know if. I don't know what the sexual spectrum is. But, but. But Adam, 22 will definitely sleep with a guy. 100%.

[Rory]

Oh, I think. Yeah. But would that just.

[Julian]

I don't think it's, like, breaking news.

[Maul]

I'm just saying if you let another man lay down with your girl or your wife and have sex with her and, like, you're having sex with your wife, you might as well, like, you. You know what you want to do, bro.

[Damaris]

Wait, how. How does that correlate?

[Maul]

What?

[Rory]

Here we go.

[Damaris]

That's like being in an open relationship. How does that correlate?

[Maul]

No, no, no, no, no. Yeah, open. You sexually open, too. You open to receiving sex from a man and a woman?

[Julian]

I think being into.

[Maul]

How you think if a dude lets a man lay down with his wife while he's there, like, they're having sex with his wife together.

[Julian]

They're training his wife.

[Maul]

You don't think that he would have sex with that dude?

[Julian]

You can stop, like, pointing at me when you're doing this explanation, because that's not. But you just keep. It's, like, right in my face that.

[Maul]

You think he won't have sex with that dude. I'm just saying, like, you know, Adam.

[Julian]

Is on the screen. He's right there.

[Maul]

Point, Adam. You think that dude won't have sex with a guy?

[Damaris]

I'm not saying. I don't think. I don't. I don't. I'm. I don't know his.

[Maul]

All right, put it like this. Put it like this. Would it surprise you. Would it surprise you if a video of Adam 22 came out tomorrow and he was sucking a guy off?

[Damaris]

No, but it wouldn't surprise you about most people. But I'm just saying, as far as.

[Maul]

As far as now, that's a stretch.

[Rory]

Cking is a thing, though, and isn't.

[Damaris]

Gay is a kink. And that's not gay. A lot of.

[Julian]

Wait, wait.

[Damaris]

Cooking is liking seeing your. Your partner fudge somebody else.

[Julian]

Okay, cool. But when you, like when you're into training your wife with another man and you guys are, like, dapping and holding hands while you're fucking throwing. I think. I think the next.

[Rory]

The napping and holding Hands is different.

[Julian]

The next step would be to sleep with a man.

[Damaris]

Oh, I didn't know.

[Julian]

I'm not. I'm not judging anyone, but that would be the next step.

[Maul]

It's okay to say it. Y'all promise.

[Julian]

He's Adam22, and I'm sure his only fans will go crazy if he. He's by well.

[Maul]

He.

[Damaris]

Okay, he's by well until he comes out and say. Says that. I'm not gonna put that.

[Maul]

He don't have to, ever. And I'm saying it.

[Rory]

So he said, do you think he would Drake? Yes. That's a crazy conversation we're having right now. But I think.

[Maul]

I'm just saying, if you think that about a guy, it's the reason you think that is all I'm saying.

[Rory]

I think he'd work, I think because of this. Well, he. He's known about Drake's doings because he has a lot of women on his pod that have slept with Drake, and they share nudes. Drake sends them out. Like, it's not. It's not. You know, it's a thing. So he shared. They've shared with him his photos, and he's like, oh, he's been saying for years, Drake has a missile. He's been saying this, but no one believes because it's like, okay, so when this came out, he felt slighted that he wasn't the person that had this moment.

[Maul]

You know what else he felt slighted about? Stop.

[Damaris]

Don't do it.

[Julian]

I don't think he felt slighted. I think he enjoyed it.

[Maul]

Oh, he definitely enjoyed it. It's okay to say it, bro. We know. Like, why do we got to tiptoe this thing? Like, it's guys. People are bisexual. Like, yeah, men like men. It's okay. It's all right. But we're not going to sit there, act like, nah, come on. You can't say that. I've seen this dude lay down with men having sex with his woman. Like, are you crazy? That's insanity.

[Damaris]

So more. Let's say your video drops, right? Your video drops. Hits the Internet.

[Rory]

Platinum.

[Damaris]

All right, what's your next step?

[Julian]

Paywall.

[Rory]

Wet platinum.

[Maul]

Paywall.

[Julian]

Gotta. Gotta keep it going.

[Maul]

If you.

[Julian]

Patreon's here.

[Maul]

If my.

[Julian]

If you take most of the earnings.

[Maul]

If one of my. One of my picks leaked.

[Rory]

Just one. And it's a good one, one of your favorites.

[Maul]

Yo, what's up with son over here? What you mean it's a good one?

[Rory]

Because, like, you can take bad. We all take bad photos.

[Julian]

It's one you had in the archives Proud.

[Damaris]

Yeah. Like you said that to multiple people.

[Julian]

That the lighting was perfect that day. It was the golden.

[Rory]

That's your game seven.

[Damaris]

I mean, dick was cast in a shadow.

[Maul]

I don't think it even matters whole mass. Does it even matter anymore?

[Julian]

Like that you had. You had the old cable remote next to it. Not the new small ones.

[Damaris]

When you're dick next to a remote, it's crazy.

[Julian]

But putting it next to the old Apple TV remote, I mean, what is there to.

[Maul]

What is there to do after that? I mean, I'll just be like, damn, like one of them put me out there like that I was fucked up.

[Damaris]

So you don't attempt to capitalize off it. You don't make a little joke. I'm saying like immediate, like capitalize. Not even capitalize. Like immediate reaction. Like, do you post something? Do you post. I wasn't hiding from the world.

[Maul]

No.

[Julian]

He's got to put money bags under his own leak. Has to.

[Maul]

Well, that may be. Yeah, maybe that.

[Rory]

You know, and sometimes icloud hackers.

[Maul]

I will probably deny it though.

[Rory]

But I mean, no, because you know when icloud hackers get into celebrities nudes files and they'll say like, hey, so I'm gonna use her name because it happened her Jennifer Lawrence. Like, I have your nudes pay me that. I'm gonna leak them. And some celebrities go it. I'll post them myself. Yeah, would you do that? Or would you like. Would you want the leaker to do it or would you be like it? I'll do it myself.

[Maul]

Well, Justin Credibles, he's not that type of guy. Shout out to LA leakers. He wouldn't do that, but I would.

[Julian]

No, wait, you think Justin Credible with.

[Maul]

No, he said. He said the leakers. So I'm like, you know, just incredible was Elliot.

[Julian]

You think, you think just incredible would extort you for your dick pic?

[Maul]

Yo come right now or.

[Julian]

Or the whole world will see.

[Damaris]

Yo come rap now give me a Jay Z verse.

[Julian]

What if. What if you can't deny it because you got your watch on.

[Maul]

That's sick.

[Rory]

And we know your nails got like a money bag painted on it.

[Julian]

What if it has vitilago My.

[Maul]

My penis? No, my bad.

[Julian]

Too far.

[Maul]

See? Yeah.

[Damaris]

See what? You and him butt buddies.

[Julian]

What?

[Maul]

I wouldn't care.

[Rory]

You guys would have distinguishable because Roy would just be red. Yeah.

[Maul]

And oh son is going crazy.

[Julian]

I mean, he made the vitiloco Joe I'm ignoring. I don't have a red penis. Same Complexion as my hands.

[Damaris]

So red.

[Julian]

My hands are not red.

[Damaris]

I'm looking at.

[Rory]

There's. There's ink from. Yeah, but they're red.

[Julian]

If I was going to town for like a day straight, beating my meat, it might be right.

[Maul]

Yo, Red rocket. Straight is crazy.

[Julian]

I was going through puberty, yo.

[Maul]

Get out the house. Go be productive.

[Julian]

Get fresh air.

[Maul]

Yeah.

[Julian]

Like, I don't care if it's raining.

[Maul]

What is wrong with you?

[Julian]

I feel like I'm. I put, like, my face and tattoos and all my. It'd be hard to deny.

[Rory]

You can't.

[Maul]

I wouldn't. What can I do? At that point, it's just like, whatever. What can you do? You can't hide it. You can't run from it. You can. All right. Yeah. So we all got one, hopefully, right? Old men have one.

[Julian]

But you say that because you came out on top with the dick Yelp website.

[Rory]

Some women have them.

[Julian]

I. I didn't make it out squeaky clean of that website. I was rated 1 out of 10 and said I used the N word excessively and wanted to do slave roleplay. That's her mindset.

[Rory]

That's correct, yeah.

[Damaris]

Slave role play. Correct.

[Julian]

And then I kept calling her the N word. Hard er.

[Rory]

Yeah. And that's only during February.

[Julian]

And then, by the way, did you. After all that, it's still a one out of ten.

[Maul]

Yeah.

[Julian]

Did you, like. Come on.

[Damaris]

That's not.

[Julian]

I mean, if I'm doing all that, that's on fire.

[Maul]

But, but, but. But the. The dick Yelp that came out on.

[Julian]

Me, I committed, like, to this day.

[Maul]

I feel like that was. That wasn't somebody that I actually been with.

[Damaris]

I believe yours. I don't believe her, but that's a good one. I believe the first one. That was yours. I read yours. I believe yours. Not that. That sounded crazy. That sound crazy.

[Maul]

Why?

[Julian]

Yo, this corner today is a little.

[Maul]

What's up with y'all?

[Julian]

Drake got y'all in a frenzy.

[Maul]

Yeah. Like what y'all was listening to?

[Julian]

No, I think they took that site down.

[Rory]

I don't know how to find laughing emojis.

[Damaris]

Y'all are crazy.

[Julian]

Boy, I hope they took that site down, cuz. That was.

[Maul]

That was.

[Julian]

As much as we actually promoted it and laughed about it, that was a little up. I thought it was just because some of it was. It was like, mine was funny because it's obviously fake, but some people were really going up there and, like, discussing people's sex life.

[Damaris]

It's like, yeah, that's not.

[Maul]

Yeah, yeah. I Think mine was. I don't think that that was a real girl.

[Damaris]

Just because you couldn't figure out who it was doesn't mean she was.

[Maul]

No, I just don't. I just. No, I mean, I don't think that any woman that I've ever been with would. Would do that. Yeah, I just don't. I don't think so. It would be hard to, like, get. It's hard to gauge which one I think would do that.

[Damaris]

I never believed it was a woman you actually slept with. I believed it was probably one of her messy ass friends.

[Maul]

Okay.

[Julian]

And you all know you may have ran into just a joint, adele State in 2005. The joint that, like, just got wi. Fi. You don't know everything.

[Maul]

A girl from 2005 going to do a Dick Yelp review in 2019 shows.

[Julian]

How great you are.

[Maul]

That's crazy.

[Damaris]

Dick don't regenerate it.

[Rory]

Yeah.

[Maul]

Like, it cannot even.

[Rory]

It's like a snake.

[Maul]

I got different moves now.

[Rory]

Shed skin.

[Julian]

Yeah, like, I need a new scale for you.

[Maul]

Yeah, I got different moves like that. Even those. My old moves right there. I don't even do that no more.

[Rory]

This is a question for Damaris. Preference preferentially circumcised or uncircumcised?

[Damaris]

Why?

[Rory]

I'm just curious.

[Maul]

What's your preference?

[Rory]

I'm just curious. Well, I'm certain.

[Julian]

Show her how to do it.

[Rory]

Where I would prefer. I don't want this.

[Maul]

Show her how to do it.

[Rory]

You guys.

[Maul]

Yo. A dude showing a woman how to do it. Yo, yo. Show her how to do it, fam. Help out. Yo, that is insane, man. Well, Drake, don't do that shit again, man. Cause I'm gonna delete all your music out my.

[Julian]

Cause he has a dick.

[Maul]

Nah, but he. Drake ain't supposed to be doing it.

[Rory]

If you saw it, you'd be. You'd be so much more judgmental.

[Damaris]

He ain't flopping around. Y'all know the inflatables outside of the.

[Maul]

Fall of dogs?

[Damaris]

I'm about to delete inflatables outside of the car.

[Maul]

See, I'm not now. I'm about to delete all this shit for all the dogs gone.

[Damaris]

I have a headache.

[Maul]

Like, come on, son. He was doing what, fam?

[Rory]

When I tell you it was her loss, yo.

[Maul]

You know it's crazy. You know what's great? You know, it's the first one of the first albums that popped up when I typed Drake. My phone care package. Definitely about to delete the care package. Come on, Drake. What the you doing, bro?

[Julian]

And clearly he wasn't handling with care.

[Damaris]

No, he was not very.

[Rory]

Oh, man. Oh, that was incredible, yo. No, I, I, you know, you know what? Next topic.

[Julian]

You know what scared me? And we can definitely close. But what scared me the most about this is this new generation of rap and how these rappers act because they act like women. I was predicting that for the rest of the day, rappers were going to be leaking their own dick pics just to follow a trend.

[Rory]

It's gonna happen.

[Julian]

Nah, I still give it one more week. Nah, I think it could happen.

[Maul]

Nah.

[Damaris]

Yo.

[Julian]

Oh, yo, yo. They leaked my shit too.

[Damaris]

Only the ones with the hammers.

[Rory]

Nobody would know because they're threatened now.

[Maul]

I'm telling you right now, if. If rappers just start dropping they, they, they, they penis pics on online, bro, I'm gonna start listening to country. I'm. I'm listening to Jelly Roll for the rest of the year. I can't, like, I can't do this. I'm out of here. I'm done with hip hop.

[Julian]

What was. What would be worse? Rappers doing that or the fans doing what they did do yesterday and saying, yo, me and Drake got a lot in common. I saw that all the time.

[Rory]

It was gross.

[Maul]

What?

[Damaris]

They were like, oh, yeah, that's why he act like that. Why he act like what you nasty?

[Julian]

There was a guy. Me and Drake got a lot in common. And what was the funniest thing about his tweet is that it had no replies because, you know, he was waiting for women to, like, give him my eye emojis.

[Damaris]

Yeah.

[Julian]

He got no response.

[Maul]

Yeah, it's no engagement. It's. I don't know, man. People are weird.

[Rory]

It took a lot of me to not tweet from the POD account.

[Maul]

You wouldn't have had a job if you did that.

[Damaris]

I was gonna say, I don't know.

[Rory]

I didn't think. I didn't think. I would have made a joke. Obviously. I don't know what I would have said. I don't know.

[Maul]

Moving forward, just know that I wouldn't do it. Yeah, yeah. Please don't just like, no dick.

[Rory]

I haven't done anything at all.

[Julian]

Please.

[Rory]

Weird on the account.

[Damaris]

Yeah.

[Julian]

I'd have to go back to the timeline.

[Damaris]

Yeah.

[Julian]

But, well. Yummy Maris. I'm glad you guys were pleased you were in the group chat.

[Damaris]

I was not pleased. I didn't. I was. I'd never want to see Drake stick. I did not want to see that at all.

[Julian]

Then who. And who was that in the group chat.

[Damaris]

That was us. But we just wanted to tease you. Me and we want to make you guys life hell.

[Julian]

That's why I say if it wasn't Damaris or Yomi who the was complimenting, definitely wasn't me. Only leaves the fellas.

[Damaris]

Julian did.

[Rory]

Don't put this on me. I didn't say in the group chat.

[Damaris]

Yes, you did.

[Maul]

I only knew. I only knew about it because you tweeted, you posted, you hit the group chat about.

[Rory]

No, no, they did. I was at the gym when it leaked. I was busy.

[Julian]

You sure you was nervous?

[Maul]

I think. I think you were the first one in the group.

[Damaris]

You said Canada has entered the nuclear war chat.

[Rory]

I did say that.

[Julian]

I missed.

[Maul]

Said that.

[Rory]

I did.

[Julian]

That must be in one of the chats. I'm not.

[Damaris]

No, no. That's in the recording team chat.

[Maul]

Oh, my God. Listen, man.

[Damaris]

Drake got the BBL meat. He also said that.

[Rory]

I did say that.

[Maul]

Yeah. That's funny.

[Damaris]

Yomi said gay.

[Rory]

That's not gay. That's funny. We just talked about him getting a BBL last episode.

[Maul]

No.

[Damaris]

Which is why some people think that a callback.

[Maul]

No, it's not a callback.

[Rory]

These are also personal text messages that we shouldn't share with everyone. I'm just gonna put that out there.

[Julian]

People could think that Drake got a bbo, but people are thinking Drake got a dick bbo.

[Damaris]

They said a ddl. A Dominican dick lift.

[Rory]

Oh, people actually said that?

[Maul]

I just said, what is happening online? What is happening online? What is going on right now?

[Rory]

That's.

[Damaris]

I say it. I just read it on Twitter.

[Maul]

I don't think that I'm about to get off Twitter, though. I'm about to delete all that. I can't do it no more.

[Rory]

Damn care package has some good songs on it too.

[Julian]

Yo, Going through the process of getting a ddl, like, going to all the consultation meetings or whatever the you have to do, like, would be the wildest thing.

[Rory]

Can you do that?

[Damaris]

No.

[Julian]

Like sitting with a doctor to ask for a dick implant.

[Rory]

I think there is.

[Damaris]

Well, there are dick implants, but no.

[Rory]

Well, there are. I mean, a lot of women out there are giving them, so it is true. So they have to be available the.

[Julian]

Same way the girls go in now to surgery. Like, give me the Kim K. Do you think the transgender people transition are going to ask for the Drake?

[Maul]

The Drake?

[Rory]

Honestly? Yeah, probably.

[Julian]

I mean, they treat Kim K like the barbershop.

[Maul]

I'm just so glad I'll take that time in hip hop when it was just about the music and the art.

[Julian]

It was never albums and.

[Maul]

And y'all was messy production and things.

[Julian]

Like that was butt ass in a. In a bathtub.

[Maul]

Yeah, he had jewelry on.

[Rory]

You just didn't have cell phones.

[Julian]

That might have been gayer than just.

[Rory]

Being naked because a man took that. Some dude was in there with him.

[Julian]

Over this top like this Jonathan Manion was straddling him.

[Maul]

That was David lachapelle.

[Julian]

My bad, Jonathan. I mean.

[Damaris]

Yeah, you put that.

[Julian]

He's a good guy too. I didn't mean to do that. That was a good photo. Anyways, I didn't think we were even going to talk about that topic at all. I'm glad we did though. Demerit's never even answered Julian's question either.

[Damaris]

But what was the question? I'm not answering that. I don't want. I'm good on Franklin Dix. I'm fine.

[Rory]

No head, no turtleneck. That's what she said.

[Maul]

What's Franklin Dicks?

[Rory]

Franklin the turtle. A cartoon. You were too old.

[Maul]

Franklin Turtle is his name.

[Rory]

No, I mean that respectfully. Like you weren't watching cartoons when Franklin was out.

[Maul]

Oh, is that what they call uncircumcised penises? Franklin? Oh, okay.

[Damaris]

They call them turtles, but I just name drop Franklin. I'm sorry. Franklin don't deserve that.

[Maul]

Yeah, Franklin. He ain't asked for that. He didn't put that on.

[Damaris]

But no, I'm good. I remember. It's so crazy because I was just talking to my homegirl about this last night. I remember the. One of the most Vivid Memories of Health 2 class. If you know you're in New York state, you had to take health too. It was a sexual health class and they taught us about smegma. And smegma is a cheesy substance that grows foreskin of uncircumcised dick. I remember this. My 14 year old brain retained that information. Algebra, trigonometry. No, I remember that. And it was the nastiest I've ever. Every time I think about uncircumcised dick.

[Julian]

So they taught you the body shame.

[Rory]

Pussy be having smackma too though.

[Julian]

Big facts. And like after a summer's day with the right titties, like if you lift.

[Rory]

That titty up and it's not cheesy under titty smeg.

[Damaris]

It's. That's. No, that's just sweat. It's not cheesy.

[Julian]

I'm not sure if I want Julian to google this, but I am sort of curious in the history of Circumcision. Like, why? And who was the first person who was the trailblazer to just cut their dick?

[Damaris]

They say that uncircumcised dick sex is actually more pleasurable for them because they have an extra layer of.

[Rory]

There's no way that's like a skin condom. It can't be more fun.

[Maul]

A skin condom.

[Julian]

Like, and, like, a lot of nerves.

[Rory]

Top of your dick. Like, you don't feel anything.

[Maul]

Yo, what the.

[Julian]

Putting a condom on a circumstance. Never mind.

[Damaris]

Yeah, that's the one. He's crazy.

[Rory]

Just close it.

[Damaris]

Ancient Egyptians.

[Maul]

I'm the only one.

[Julian]

Just put your hoodie up.

[Maul]

You gotta be gay.

[Rory]

Egyptians started snipping in 23rd century because.

[Damaris]

There were probably a lot of.

[Rory]

I think it was a religious practice. Yeah, the Jews were God.

[Julian]

That had to have been the craziest, like, idea. The first person to be like, let's snip that baby's dick.

[Rory]

Pass the scissors.

[Damaris]

The whole tip off.

[Maul]

That's.

[Rory]

Can you imagine being like the.

[Maul]

The first one?

[Rory]

Yeah, like the trial and error baby. Nah, it's the first trans.

[Maul]

Oh, man.

[Damaris]

I don't think they were doing it. The babies, though. They were probably doing it to, like. I don't think they were babies. Babies. When they first started, did they start with babies?

[Rory]

I don't know. There is. I know that there's. Adult circumcision is still a thing. People stop to get it when they're adults.

[Julian]

And there was a long time where, like, for some reason they had medical professionals. But the priest would do it, like, the only medical thing. Oh, yeah, he's involved with. He wants to be around the dick.

[Maul]

Yeah. Trust Father O'Malley. He. He'll help you out.

[Rory]

Let me do. Let me do.

[Julian]

Sir, you're a priest. You're not a medical professional. This one I understand.

[Damaris]

We're not circumcision shaping.

[Maul]

Yes, we are.

[Rory]

I am. That's just crazy.

[Damaris]

That's if you still have your. Your turtleneck on, baby. It's okay.

[Maul]

Yo, you still got.

[Julian]

Is it common to run into to that?

[Damaris]

I think I ran into it twice.

[Julian]

Okay. Did it like, shock clover.

[Damaris]

The first time? I didn't. I. I didn't notice at first. I wasn't really looking.

[Maul]

You never noticed? My homie Becky had the micro penis. She ain't noticed. When he was not circumcised. What do you be looking at?

[Damaris]

What you focus on dark.

[Maul]

I didn't really turn some lights on.

[Damaris]

I'm not even gonna talk about it. But I did. I didn't notice And I noticed at the wrong time when I noticed it was too late.

[Maul]

But yes.

[Julian]

Had already entered the mouth.

[Maul]

I was already.

[Damaris]

Sorry.

[Julian]

It was the point of no return.

[Rory]

Putting that in your mouth.

[Julian]

No turning crazy. We had stormed the beaches.

[Maul]

The marriage definitely gave head to a turtleneck before.

[Julian]

But is it that uncommon? Isn't it like a 50, 50 split?

[Damaris]

No, I don't think 50.

[Maul]

50.

[Julian]

I have never done research on this 50.

[Rory]

No, no.

[Damaris]

I was like two uncircumcised penises.

[Julian]

I was pretty old when I found out that there was, like, there was another form of Dick in 2014.

[Maul]

Oh, I didn't.

[Julian]

I'm telling you, I was almost maybe a teenager when I found out that there was circumcision and non.

[Rory]

I'm trying to think when I was you met you.

[Julian]

I wasn't looking at dicks like that.

[Damaris]

You ran into a circumstance.

[Julian]

No, it was a converse, like around health class time.

[Damaris]

Oh.

[Julian]

I was like, that's a thing. I was only familiar with my dick.

[Rory]

In 2014, an estimated 80 and a half percent of Americans are circumcised. Yeah, I'm sure that's gone up since. I think it's also. It's a religious thing, but also it's a health thing, too. It's also just cleaner. There's no dick cheese.

[Damaris]

I think it might actually be going down now. I think people have been like.

[Julian]

Because of vaccines?

[Damaris]

No, just. Just because I think people are like, why are you putting your kid through that? Through that turmoil? Yada, yada. They also say that you're more likely to catch STDs if you're uncircumcised than if you are circumcised. There's a battle between that and with different studies. But. Yeah.

[Rory]

Yeah. I mean, it looks like millennials have been kind of pushing back on it.

[Damaris]

Yeah. Because cutting a. Cutting a child's. A baby's penis. The thing about babies is they experience the same pain that we do. They just can't complain and they might forget it.

[Julian]

Yeah.

[Rory]

They don't remember.

[Damaris]

It doesn't.

[Julian]

I don't hurt less circumstance.

[Maul]

What's on. How old were you when you were circumcised?

[Julian]

I hope when I was born under.

[Damaris]

Yeah. You get circumcised around like, what, five days old or four days old.

[Maul]

Yeah.

[Julian]

If it happened when I was 10, I definitely blocked that memory out.

[Maul]

Imagine being 10 years old, your mom saying, come on, we gotta go to the doctor. Listen, about to get.

[Julian]

I was scared of the priest.

[Rory]

Still wants to do it.

[Maul]

Imagine first Sunday, first communion. I thought wine crackers and cut your hoodie off.

[Julian]

Thought all I had to do was cough when you cuffed my nuts. Do we ever research why we have.

[Maul]

To do that coughing?

[Julian]

Oh, God, I hope that happened to everyone else.

[Maul]

No, that was. That was. That was you and Father O'Neill. That was y'all little secret.

[Julian]

Your pediatrician didn't cuff your nuts and say cough. Yeah, okay.

[Damaris]

I never. Yeah, I don't. I don't. I guess, feel for bulges probably or something.

[Julian]

A lot more trauma I had to.

[Rory]

I think so deal with if that.

[Damaris]

Wasn'T the case, because I know, like, females, we have to cough when we're getting, like, our back, like, our lungs examined. I don't know why. Why y'all were getting your balls examined. You had to cough.

[Rory]

That's kind of weird. Feel around for hernias.

[Maul]

Okay.

[Rory]

A person's cough pushes the bowels downward.

[Maul]

Yeah. When they checking you in in rers, they make you, like, squat and cough.

[Damaris]

Well, that's to make sure you're not.

[Julian]

That's for boo.

[Damaris]

Hiding crack in your ass.

[Maul]

Yeah. Not.

[Julian]

Not just cracking in crack.

[Rory]

Like, crack is crazy. You ever lose anything?

[Maul]

Yo, see? See what I'm saying? Like, why the marriage, woman?

[Julian]

It comes with the occupation.

[Maul]

You think that I put something in my ass before?

[Rory]

You got a Ziploc up there still never.

[Maul]

The cop found it. He just found it. Put something on my books, though. I'm not putting nothing in my ass. Just put something on my books.

[Rory]

Like, you know guys that have. You had to.

[Maul]

Nah. That put something in their ass.

[Rory]

Yeah. For the drug trade. For the love of the game.

[Maul]

Now you cover, like, you. You put it underneath, like, your. Your balls and kind of like just. You know what I'm saying? Like, sit down and keep your legs closed, like, together, but, like, in your ass, like, actually up in your rectum.

[Julian]

I mean, Joel Santana said he had a girl that boofed a bottle to get into the club.

[Damaris]

That's.

[Rory]

It's.

[Damaris]

That's insane.

[Maul]

Yeah, but I don't think he met. Actually inserted the bottle into. I think he met.

[Julian]

Oh, I think she put the entire Ciroc bottle when there was alcohol available in the club.

[Maul]

Yeah, she didn't.

[Julian]

It's a recyclable $40. She didn't need to do that.

[Maul]

Put the whole Grey Goose bottle, the velvety bottle, up in a vaginal.

[Rory]

I convinced a girl in college to boof two of them, actually.

[Damaris]

What?

[Rory]

They had, like, a little bit of vodka left. I was like, if you drink, it's not gonna do anything. You might as well shove it in your ass. And they were like, what? And then I explained it.

[Julian]

Wait, you poured alcohol in a girl's ass?

[Rory]

I didn't. They poured in each other's. It was actually quite. It was very thing.

[Damaris]

When I was in college, girls used to soak tampons and vodka and wear and put them inside them.

[Rory]

That was the thing.

[Julian]

The same girls just take a shot.

[Rory]

The same girls I convinced the booth also did that.

[Damaris]

It hit you faster. It's the same reason why just in your vagina.

[Julian]

Take a shot at Everclear. You'll be fine.

[Rory]

Yeah, but it doesn't hit you.

[Damaris]

Yeah, it doesn't hit you immediately. That's the same reason why people put you.

[Julian]

Were you guys in a rush?

[Maul]

Wait, no.

[Julian]

No.

[Rory]

Well, if you don't have a lot of alcohol, so you only have a shot left. You take a shot, you're not going to feel anything. But if you take that same shot.

[Julian]

So can put on a toxic tampon and insert it in your body.

[Rory]

Yeah. It hits harder.

[Maul]

Alcohol in your. That doesn't burn.

[Rory]

That's a. I don't know.

[Damaris]

I. I never did this, but they used to do it. Yeah.

[Maul]

Alcohol in your. In your. Alcohol that.

[Damaris]

Like, they might have put it in their ass. I don't think it was in their vagina even that.

[Maul]

That burns too. Like, this is alcohols. Like, that's just. See, this is why the world is just.

[Julian]

And I feel like it has to. If it goes through your ass has to pass through so many places before it gets to your liver and brain.

[Rory]

No, it goes more directly in your bloodstream.

[Damaris]

Your bloodstream? Yeah, yeah.

[Rory]

Alcohol doesn't go to your brain. It goes in your bloodstream.

[Julian]

Well, that doesn't. The blood bring it to your brain.

[Damaris]

He got a. He got you there.

[Rory]

I guess at some point he got you there.

[Julian]

Like, you know, when you're drunk, you're different. Like, no, I feel your blood dictated your brain.

[Rory]

I feel it in my blood. Blood and blood out.

[Maul]

Y'all are sick.

[Damaris]

Yeah, it was some wild going on in college, but yeah, I'm glad I never.

[Julian]

Technically, I was partying at Rutgers and never saw anyone insert a single thing.

[Damaris]

Yeah, well, that was more white. That's more white.

[Rory]

I'm saying Rutgers was own venereal disease probably. They called it sluckers.

[Damaris]

You're lying.

[Maul]

Really?

[Rory]

And yeah. You guys never heard that term?

[Julian]

No.

[Rory]

Oh, I was show you.

[Julian]

I was at Ruckers Newark. Ruckers, New Brunswick. Ruckers Camden.

[Maul]

They had their own venereal disease on a Rutgers University campus.

[Rory]

Pretty sure. Yeah. They call it. Yeah, there's. You can Google it.

[Damaris]

Girls.

[Rory]

Yeah, Ruckers.

[Maul]

I could see Sluggers being like the girls that go to Ruckers called Sluggers.

[Julian]

I can attest to that for sure. They were horse. Not all of them.

[Rory]

Yeah, there were like, all these. You can look it up. Reddit threads, rumors. They said there was like a. The. A whole thing.

[Julian]

Wait, what year was this?

[Maul]

But they didn't create their own.

[Rory]

When I was like, 2016, I was.

[Damaris]

Like, there's no HPV. They just called it Sluggers.

[Maul]

Yeah, they wasn't like a new.

[Rory]

But it was like. It was so common there. There was like, the street legend was they have their own. I didn't go to Rutgers legend.

[Julian]

The concept of college is actually insane. It's the most irresponsible thing America could do.

[Maul]

The concept of college and the concept of clubs is insane.

[Julian]

Clubs actually make more sense to me than college. And I know that sounds nuts.

[Maul]

Like people just being in one room that most. Most of the time don't even know each other. And we're all just like, drinking and smok. Like, listening to. It's just like. That is the MO who came up with that.

[Julian]

You take somebody that was living in their parents household, send them to go live in a room with a stranger with all access to every drug, alcohol, and they're forced to make a decision to do that or go to class while ensuing all this debt at the exact same time to. To then. To then major in communications.

[Maul]

But let me ask you something. In college, in college, when y'all were staying in dorms, did y'all have the option to have a room alone?

[Rory]

No.

[Damaris]

No, Those are very expensive.

[Rory]

Only. Yeah, I was gonna say only rich kids. And if you were like, the kids that really pulled the best finesse, where the kids that were allergic to everything or like you needed the specific AC or the specific. Those kids got preferential because it's like, well, this kid can die if he's at the mercy of someone else's mess or snacks or whatever. Like, the allergy nerds had their own rooms.

[Damaris]

The basketball team at LIU had the best storms.

[Julian]

My last.

[Damaris]

I went to liu.

[Maul]

Oh, I didn't know that.

[Julian]

Yeah, I thought you were getting, like, further into. How did you know the basketball dorms?

[Damaris]

Yeah, I thought he was.

[Maul]

Oh, because she said that, like, matter of factly. Like, she got. She did research. So I'm just like.

[Damaris]

I know they used to have all parties and everything. They had the best. They had. Well, they were technically the grad dorms like so the grad graduate students. But the basketball players have them as well.

[Julian]

My last semester of college, I thought I lucked up where like, you know, some people will drop out like right before the semester and not show up. Whole week passes. I have no roommate, so I'm like, all right, I'll give it two more days. Then I'm pushing these fucking beds together. When you push those beds together, you have a California king. I went to Target and bought king size sheets so I could put it over both mattresses.

[Rory]

Swag.

[Julian]

I set that dorm up like you would not believe. Had a girl in there the first night, slept over that dude came into the room. I'm not joking. Maybe 2:00 in the morning. Hey, I'm your roommate. And then me and this girl naked fam had to put clothes on and then take his bed and push it to the side after he clearly saw what was just happening in that room.

[Rory]

Oh no, there's no way you nutted on his bed 100%.

[Maul]

There's no way they would have had. I'd have went right back downstairs like, I need a new door, I need a new room.

[Julian]

I was hoping he was gonna do that shit. He just unpack the.

[Maul]

Let me guess. He was a white boy. Yes. Knew it.

[Rory]

That's something. Yeah.

[Julian]

And a gamer at that. That was the worst.

[Damaris]

That's really probably why I dropped out for sure.

[Julian]

Like he was there. Anytime I walked in, he was in there just gaming, you know, it's like go do say go do something.

[Rory]

I lived alone. I lived alone briefly. Lost that privilege. I was an ra.

[Julian]

Oh, of course.

[Rory]

Of course you were. Doesn't shock if you're not familiar. It's a resident advisor. It's a bearing a lot of responsibility.

[Damaris]

You get your own room if you're.

[Rory]

RA and I lasted about I would think I lasted three, four months before they kicked me out.

[Julian]

If you think about it, it is really a snitch because they are giving you less time AKA less money to pay for college if you snitch on people.

[Rory]

I didn't snitch on.

[Damaris]

But all every RA I knew never snitched. Like if we were wild and wild and she'd be like, yo, chill the out.

[Rory]

I taught the first put a towel on the floor if you're playing beer pong. Suppress the noise.

[Damaris]

Yep. Like little we used to put soaked.

[Julian]

Wet when you get annoyed. I'm sure you were an I Did.

[Rory]

No, I was ra Was cool because like, I was a freshman. Like, we all did dumb. It's like my thing was like, hey, yo. Like I only got annoyed if I was like, look, I don't give a. But on this third go around, the supervisor's coming with me. So if he sees this, knowing I've done two rounds of this, he's gonna say something. So like, don't my up. I'm not gonna your up, but just don't my up. So if you come around and he's. Then I'm with the guy and he's like, now he's mad at me, then I'll get mad. But like, if it's just me on the rounds, I didn't give a. Do whatever. I lost. I got kicked out.

[Maul]

Putting the towel under the door. I just never understood the concept of that. Like, if you smoking, that is.

[Julian]

It works. You turn the shower on all the way kind of work going. And it's not a comfortable smoke.

[Maul]

But that does not work.

[Damaris]

Yes, it does.

[Maul]

There's literally three cracks around the rest of the door on both sides and the top of the door. Like, what, the thing I'm blocking?

[Rory]

Yeah, that's just not sealed.

[Maul]

Makes no. When I see people, I'm like, you think that's stopping something?

[Julian]

We're in college. We're smart.

[Rory]

I used to smoke cigarettes in my bedroom, like in my parents crib and I would have a fan in the window and like blow the smoke in through the fan. And outside.

[Maul]

Why not just go outside?

[Rory]

I don't know.

[Damaris]

It was cold.

[Rory]

I just want to be in bed.

[Damaris]

I remember we used to have to take the. The. So for some reason teenage kids who aren't supposed to be drinking love saving liquor bottles. So we would save them all and they'd be all around the room. And then when they would come to do a check on the room and you have to hide 40 gray goose and Bacardi bottles, like under the bed in your suitcase. College is. Yeah, you're right. College didn't make any sense. We did a lot of dumb.

[Julian]

I'm curious what part of mental illness that is, because that was a regular thing.

[Rory]

Why did we.

[Julian]

In a college dorm or like the college like apartment, every kitchen you go into, it would just have empty bottles all above. Like, for what?

[Rory]

Of like trash bottles too. Like ever clear.

[Damaris]

Just to show that we. Oh, look, guys. Hey. We get drunk. Like, oh my God, it's so.

[Maul]

College is weird. I'm glad I never went.

[Rory]

You ever do a keg stand Mall?

[Maul]

No.

[Damaris]

Oh, we gotta have them all. Do a keg stand.

[Maul]

I would never do it.

[Julian]

Why? It'd be fun.

[Maul]

I don't drink.

[Rory]

Oh, yeah, but, like, we can fill it with.

[Julian]

Yeah, like when you're doing one of those monthly juice cleanses.

[Maul]

I'm not doing that. Stupid again. Y'all want me to do dumb? Y'all was dumb for doing that. Now y'all want me to do the dumb that y'all did years ago.

[Damaris]

We should do a cake stand. Bro, can you record us doing a cake stand? Rory, you still got it in you.

[Julian]

I have not done one.

[Rory]

You get out there.

[Julian]

But, yeah, I mean, you guys would be supporting me. It's not really my doing.

[Damaris]

Yeah, I know.

[Maul]

A keg stand.

[Rory]

What else did we do? Oh, 40 hands. That was fun.

[Damaris]

What the.

[Rory]

That is.

[Maul]

What the is.

[Rory]

42 forties to your hands.

[Julian]

Dumbest thing ever. There's a fire. You're.

[Rory]

If anything happens, you're. I mean, you just can't. You can't text. You can't do anything. Like, it's just. Your hands are construction only.

[Julian]

Fight.

[Rory]

Yeah, you duck.

[Maul]

Just duct tape.

[Rory]

Yeah, and you have to finish the 40s before you can take them off your hands. 80 ounces of malt liquor. Mall.

[Damaris]

That's stupid. That's really stupid.

[Maul]

Why?

[Rory]

You want to hear another dumb thing we used to do? We used to drink 40 down to the neck and then fill that up with four loco.

[Damaris]

Oh, God.

[Rory]

Yeah. Call that a sidewalk slammer. So one of those, you're cooked. Two of those, you're retarded.

[Damaris]

Four local before they took the crack out of four locals. Four local.

[Julian]

Like a curb stomping American History X.

[Damaris]

Oh, yeah, the F. Yeah.

[Rory]

Never like funnels.

[Damaris]

Yeah.

[Julian]

And, well, this isn't really, like, all white boy.

[Damaris]

This is just college.

[Julian]

It's just. Yeah, it's college.

[Maul]

I don't know no black dudes that did that shit y'all talking about.

[Julian]

Let me introduce you to the fraternity of Kappa Alpha Psi. It's 150,000 members.

[Maul]

Fraternities are nothing but a bunch of kids with mental illnesses just trying to trauma bond.

[Rory]

Wow.

[Damaris]

I'm not. I'm not against.

[Maul]

And then y'all do little dances to kind of say, hey, look what they taught us. And look at our canes.

[Julian]

Look at our canes. It's a good shimmy. Not a bad shimmy.

[Maul]

I'm not retarded anymore. No, you still are.

[Julian]

I'm not sure. I'm not sure if I should be offended right now.

[Damaris]

His OG and those are direct shots.

[Maul]

And then take that hot ass hanger and put it on my arm.

[Julian]

Did you get branded? I have a brand right here.

[Maul]

It's crazy.

[Damaris]

It's not your chest that is.

[Rory]

Is it good?

[Julian]

It was. It's not anymore. It's great for a few years now it. Now it just looks like.

[Maul]

Yo, that is insanity.

[Julian]

Can we see? I mean, how.

[Rory]

Yeah, it's.

[Julian]

It's tough to.

[Rory]

Oh, it's like under a tattoo.

[Maul]

Yeah.

[Julian]

Yeah. I put a tattoo over it because it starts to look a little weird.

[Maul]

Why? Why would y'all do that?

[Julian]

I was 19. I don't. I don't say I regret getting branded, but I would change it if I had the option. I don't know if that's a definition of regret.

[Rory]

Kind of sounds like regret.

[Maul]

Do you have to get branded?

[Julian]

No.

[Maul]

Okay.

[Damaris]

You know, it hurt.

[Julian]

It did not hurt when it happened. You actually don't feel anything because it's a legitimate third degree burn.

[Rory]

You were drunk.

[Julian]

I actually was not. And it was on Super Bowl Sunday, so the anniversary is coming up of my brand. I was actually not drunk. The healing process is the most painful thing on earth. The day it happens, you're. You're fine. The next day, probably a month and a half, you're pain. You can't even sleep.

[Maul]

Yo.

[Julian]

Every movement hurts.

[Maul]

Sitting there watching somebody coming at me with a piece of iron that's like.

[Rory]

Well, you're probably in boxes and blindfold.

[Julian]

I know. I crossed. I was. Oh, you were Cap already?

[Rory]

Yeah.

[Damaris]

Yeah. He chose to do that. They didn't make him. That wasn't torture.

[Rory]

My experience is a little different.

[Maul]

You branded?

[Rory]

I never had to get branded. Only certain families in my family.

[Maul]

What fraternity are you with?

[Rory]

It's Kappa Delta Row, just like the white fraternities.

[Maul]

Kappa Delta Row?

[Rory]

Yeah. What does it show you?

[Damaris]

He's not Divine Eye.

[Rory]

No.

[Maul]

What is Divine Eye?

[Damaris]

The black.

[Julian]

The black. The black fraternity, I think.

[Maul]

I thought Julian was in a black fraternity.

[Rory]

I could pass.

[Maul]

No, you cannot.

[Damaris]

Yo, Roy. Being Julian, cutting his.

[Julian]

Let me.

[Maul]

Lambda Lambda Lambda. You ever see Revenge of the Nerds? Lambda Lambda Lambda. Julian is definitely dealt with.

[Julian]

Lambda Lambda Lambda, without question.

[Rory]

Nice.

[Julian]

Yomi. Are you asking if he was Divine Nine or just. Yeah. Okay. Because he's. He's teak in my eyes, but that's not.

[Rory]

What does teak mean?

[Julian]

It's like the biggest white fret on. I think it's the biggest fraternity on earth.

[Maul]

What?

[Julian]

Julian is big Iota vibes.

[Rory]

Is that good thing.

[Damaris]

Oh, not the iota doesn't sound good.

[Maul]

What is Iota? Iota. Five figures.

[Rory]

It must be the coolest ones. If you're saying me.

[Julian]

I. I like iotas. I'm not one of the Greeks that, like, shits on other frats. I have friends in all the other frats. I think they're all great organizations, but just judging, like, you know, it's us, and then, you know, iOS are over here. They're over.

[Maul]

You know, they're over here.

[Julian]

It was the 60s. They were late to the party.

[Rory]

Oh, I see. Yeah, these were all founded much sooner.

[Damaris]

Those are also sorority.

[Julian]

No. Should I be offended about what Mall said?

[Rory]

Yes.

[Maul]

About what you.

[Julian]

Should I give some pushback here?

[Rory]

Yeah, dude.

[Julian]

Because I laugh. I'm here for the fun.

[Rory]

You do your little shoulder shimmy to me.

[Maul]

I really believe that. I really believe that. If you really look at every goddess in a fraternity, I think that a lot of them are either single kids, like, sing this. That, like, single. They don't have any siblings, most of them.

[Julian]

Completely false, but go ahead.

[Maul]

I'm just saying, if you look at all fraternities, I just feel like it's just a thing of wanting to be accepted into a group. I just feel like if you come from a big family, you never felt like you needed to be accepted by anybody.

[Julian]

I don't think I ever felt like I needed Kappa to give me fulfillment. It was something that I thought would be a great addition to my life, but I never sat and was like, this is what's gonna define me as a human being. This is. What's the void that's missing in my life?

[Maul]

I don't know, because even, like, I.

[Julian]

Was one of the Kappas, that I had my crew in college, that none of them were Greek, and I hung with them more than I hung with some of my line brothers. Like, I had my friends.

[Maul]

But that's what I'm saying. That's the part I don't understand about the whole Greek thing. If I have, like, brothers and sisters and I come and a bunch of. I come from, like, I do. I come from a big family, and then I have a bunch of homeboys. Why would I pledge a fraternity and, like, pay money to pledge that fraternity? Yeah. It just doesn't make sense to me. I never understood that.

[Rory]

It's a shared experience of things, too. Going through something like that with people, it's. It's like a. It is. It's like a trauma bond. I mean, pledging sucks. It's awful. But you do it with someone, you have that shared experience. I don't know.

[Maul]

My real brothers, like my real sisters, my real cousins. That's true.

[Damaris]

A lot of people tell you to join fraternity sororities because of the connections that it provides you. We've had this conversation before. If Rory goes into and tries to get a job and there's anybody that's divine9 in there, he's more likely to get the job, even if he's underqualified. Because they look out for Rory goes.

[Rory]

In there like this.

[Damaris]

So there's that. It's a huge network. It's a huge network. So I don't blame people for joining. I, I get it.

[Julian]

Answer your question. More like if you read the Divine Nine book about every single one of these organizations, they all stand for something. They all have guidelines, they all have principles, they all have things that.

[Maul]

So do the Mac Ballers, yo.

[Julian]

Exactly. And I'm not going to comment on the Mac.

[Maul]

So do the Six, because I think.

[Julian]

They'Re a great organization.

[Rory]

Yeah, there are a lot of.

[Julian]

Yeah, we share colors, hand signals.

[Damaris]

So I'm saying no, they are. No, they're definitely a gang. Gang for sure.

[Rory]

Big frats are gangs.

[Julian]

Sure. I'm not mad at that. But.

[Rory]

But they're sanctioned.

[Julian]

You can't understand that if I have friends from home or siblings or family, that when I get to college I may not also want to be around a group of like minded individuals that believe in the same type of things I believe in and want the same type of future that I want. Because I got friends that didn't go to college. Not saying they weren't ambitious or whatever, but then I also had a bunch of friends that were bums and like, like, yeah, I got homeboys, but I may have a different mind state than them. And then you run into an organization that is based on not only achievement when you're here, but for the rest of your life. And it's a community for the rest of your life. That's what I mean to me. Really separates the Divine Eye from anything else. You're in this for life. Like this is a everyday thing. This isn't like, you know, we meet up in 10 years and joke about beer pong long like this is a thing.

[Maul]

What sorority has the prettiest girls?

[Julian]

Subjective.

[Damaris]

Oh, I, I'm not answering that. Them just fight.

[Julian]

Very, very subjective.

[Damaris]

Not about to jump.

[Julian]

It depends. It's chapter, chapter areas of area.

[Rory]

In my college it was Kappa Kappa Gamma.

[Julian]

The stereotypes of the sororities I think are more of a down south thing up here, like in Jersey in my opinion, and sorry to all the other sororities, Zetas were the prettiest in Jersey. Which is crazy because in the south they get the stereotype of being ugly. Which is not true at all, by the way. Just going off with stereotypes. Rory said all Zetas are in New York. I always found at least my era the Deltas were the cutest. Like it.

[Maul]

Okay.

[Julian]

Indiana. S.G. rosa. It really just depends where you are. And it changes every four years. Like true loyal.

[Maul]

Are you in the fraternity? You from the Bronx? Mac ballers. You know what I'm saying? That's all it.

[Julian]

Me loyal gives me Big Sigma vibes.

[Damaris]

El Loyan is here. Ah, I wouldn't be surprised if he was an Alpha.

[Julian]

He is smart.

[Rory]

Wait, Alpha's the smart one?

[Julian]

By stereotypes.

[Damaris]

Yeah, yeah, we're going completely off stereotypes.

[Julian]

The stereotypes are not true.

[Damaris]

What's the IOTA stereotype?

[Maul]

Who's Iota?

[Julian]

I'm.

[Rory]

Roy said I'm Iota.

[Julian]

Okay. Do you want me to tell you this? I don't believe this because I have.

[Rory]

Iota'S that I know you say stand on your word.

[Julian]

Iota's stereotype wise. I'm not saying this stereotype wise are losers.

[Maul]

Yes.

[Rory]

That's fucked up.

[Julian]

I stereotype wise. Iota's in Jersey. Are my guys. They're fucking great. I love the Iota's in Jersey.

[Maul]

Yeah, but.

[Julian]

And the rest of the country. The stereotype is that they are losers.

[Rory]

How am I a loser? You crashed my date last night. That's some loser shit.

[Julian]

Oh, to help you out, you crash, get you that finish line.

[Rory]

Get a finish line.

[Damaris]

You got. You got him some hit a little.

[Julian]

Stroll and was like, that's my man's.

[Rory]

Yo. No, no.

[Julian]

You want to come to the punch out.

[Maul]

That's my man.

[Rory]

No, after Rory left the like a bar back or someone came over to us. The timing couldn't have been better. Rory left. The guy came over to us, gave us two more glasses of wine that we didn't order. He was like, big fan of the pod. I didn't want to say hi. I saw Rory earlier. He was like, just want to say what's up? And they just walked away. She thought it was the coolest thing in the world. And I was like, you know, just some regular just. It never happens.

[Maul]

You're definitely.

[Rory]

That never happened.

[Maul]

Definitely an Iota. Iota Phi Theta.

[Julian]

This may like, put some perspective into it more. This is. I mean, it was a very unfortunate event that was about to happen. But if you look of everyone that was with Martin Luther King on that tragic day. All of the Divine Nine on the frat side is represented.

[Maul]

Dr. King was in a fraternity.

[Julian]

He was Alpha. Yeah.

[Maul]

Oh, I didn't know, man.

[Rory]

I would have been an Alpha.

[Damaris]

And now you just care about black people's freedom.

[Maul]

You would have been an Alpha?

[Damaris]

How? Everybody in the room said, hell, no.

[Rory]

You say, hell, no. None of you did it.

[Maul]

I told you who you're down with. Lambda Lambda.

[Rory]

What do they throw up the eg? A town.

[Maul]

A town.

[Julian]

I can see Damaris doing alumni in a few years.

[Rory]

I'm smart.

[Maul]

I'm Alpha doing alumni.

[Damaris]

No, you couldn't.

[Julian]

Yeah, you can. After you graduate, there's alumni chapters that you can.

[Rory]

Those aren't real, bro. They don't count.

[Maul]

They are, yo. Pledging a sorority in your 40s graduated. It's like, yo, come on.

[Damaris]

I'm not saying nothing because I want to get a job one day.

[Julian]

Listen, I always respected the alumni of Cap Alpha size and non hazing organization. I want to make that very clear. So everything I'm saying now is for entertainment purposes on this podcast. When I was pledging undergrad, there are some alumni chapters that actually pledge.

[Rory]

And that legal line was crazy.

[Julian]

I used to look at those. I have alumni line brothers. And I'm like, yo, you're 30 with a job and a wife and kids, and you're doing this. That used. I had more respect for them. That blew my mind.

[Maul]

Not a mental illness to you.

[Rory]

That's crazy.

[Julian]

Well, a lot of people, just because of certain rules and chapters getting snatched and like, illegal. A lot of times people will pledge undergrad but never get their letters they can't cross. Some legal shit happens, and it's something that they really wanted, so when they graduate, they. They do it.

[Maul]

That's.

[Julian]

If you set your mind to something, you can't respect somebody doing that.

[Maul]

I know. I don't. I listen. I. With people in sororities and fraternities and things like that, like, I get it, but me personally, I just can't do like that. I can't. Yeah, just something I just. That's. I'm like, well, I'm not doing that.

[Julian]

I've never, never been that Greek that when we refer to you guys as.

[Maul]

GDIs, you prefer to like us. That's not for fraternities.

[Rory]

Yeah.

[Maul]

What does that mean?

[Julian]

Goddamn.

[Rory]

Goddamn independent individual.

[Julian]

I don't think it's a guy individual.

[Maul]

It's not a slight. Hilarious.

[Julian]

It's not so.

[Rory]

Yeah.

[Julian]

It's not supposed to be a gdi it's not supposed to be a slight.

[Maul]

Cool.

[Julian]

I've never been the one to like, push back when people are like, I don't understand that fraction. I'm like, cool. Yeah, I understand.

[Maul]

Yeah.

[Julian]

How someone couldn't. Which is fine by me.

[Maul]

I'm not.

[Julian]

I'm not Jehovah Witness. I'm not going door to door saying, join Kappa.

[Maul]

You got some. Some. The parties be lit. Yeah, I go to the party, but I ain't. I ain't getting up at 4am meeting y'all outside and walking outside in the cold, no shirt on and all that other. I'm not doing that.

[Rory]

Lineups suck.

[Damaris]

Sucked.

[Maul]

No, I'm not doing that. I'm sleep man.

[Julian]

Would they make you chug beer in the winter?

[Rory]

No. Hot sauce sucked.

[Damaris]

Are you serious?

[Rory]

Yeah. Coming out your. That blue.

[Julian]

They made you boof the hot sauce.

[Rory]

No, when you.

[Damaris]

He had to chug it.

[Rory]

We had to go, you know, like the giant Frank. Red hot. And this is all speculative. None of this actually happened. Red hot isn't even the, like the two gallon bottle.

[Julian]

Wait, do white frats get popped for pledging?

[Damaris]

Yeah, they. They people die.

[Rory]

I. It's a really sad story. I almost got expelled because someone died. And they blame.

[Damaris]

Yeah, people die with the white frats. Yeah.

[Rory]

I lost my RA thing. Independent.

[Damaris]

That's g Rose.

[Julian]

When I was pledging, went to prison.

[Rory]

A couple people did time.

[Julian]

Prison.

[Rory]

I know a few people that in.

[Julian]

The state of New Jersey.

[Rory]

So we would get these bad boys and you'd have to pretty much by the end of a lineup, that would have to be gone.

[Maul]

But let me ask you something. How did. How does. How did the dude die?

[Rory]

This is. Talk about trauma. This was a. All College Day. Spring, you know, last day of classes. Everyone's like, oh my God. It's all party. It's. It's a all day day drinking event. Everyone knew. It's like Spring fest. All College Day. Ours is called All College Day. You wake up at the ass crack of dawn. Me being an ra, I had the key card that could access every building. So I woke up, you know, the kids that I wanted to join our fraternity, I passed my card to other people in our frat. They're scanning, getting in the buildings, waking up kids. It's like a whole event. You give them like a Mad Dog 2020 to try. Like, oh my God, we're all happy. We're all here for you. So we go to this like field courtyard. We're drinking. I'm there with who was going to be my little, like my. My guy. And you see him for like an hour or two and then they go off, they're rushing, so they're going to other fraternities, other homes, other sanctioned things. All illegal, obviously. And you know, you hit a wall around noon because you've been drinking since like 3am and go down for a nap. He took a nap. Just like all of us threw up.

[Julian]

Jesus.

[Rory]

I woke up from my nap. Next thing I know there's police body bags being zipped up. And then I got called into the office by like FBI agents and it was a very dark time in my life. Yeah, it was awful.

[Maul]

He choked on his vomit.

[Rory]

Yeah. Yes. 17.

[Julian]

Listen, anytime. And I mean, Kappa's been in heat with that stuff. Of every fraternity and sorority, Divine 9 has had some incident. That is so corny when that happens. Like when people do that to. As he says, littles. We don't really say that, but people online, like, that's up. You. You are responsible for those kids. I understand you want to pledge them, but to have someone go to college to die is the craziest. It's like, I. I understand where pledging gets the rap that it does because you have people that take the way too far and do to that to them that they didn't even have done to them. Now you're dealing with psychopaths and people that are. Are getting off on harming people.

[Damaris]

Yep.

[Julian]

And yeah, that's. It's just the saddest thing of just having some. Your kid go to college and then.

[Rory]

And you send them somewhere. I mean, this my school, you know, not to like, brag or whatever, but it's like one of the top private liberal arts institutions in the country. So you're thinking this is a safe space for my kid to learn, to like, become a whatever. And then if you really Google it. I just googled it. My college, Lafayette. A kid dies like every year on some. And they suppress internal investigation, make sure the family doesn't sue. They bury the story as best they can. That college. I hate that school.

[Maul]

Well, if you are listening and you are planning on pledging to a sorority or fraternity, please pledge responsibly.

[Julian]

Well, it's illegal, so you know they're not going to pledge. It's illegal.

[Maul]

It's illegal to pledge.

[Julian]

Yeah, it's actually illegal.

[Rory]

Hazing is very illegal.

[Damaris]

Hazing is. I don't think pledging is for me.

[Julian]

To become a member. I went and I took a test and I paid my dues and I.

[Rory]

Became a Kappa Wink, wink.

[Julian]

You took a test and you become a member. They teach you a cool handshake and everything. It's great.

[Maul]

Just like the Mac Ballers.

[Damaris]

Is that the gang that you were down with? You keep bringing them up.

[Maul]

I was never down with no gang. Are you kidding me?

[Julian]

I would take. I would take a jumping before I would ever take pledging a fraternity.

[Maul]

Really?

[Julian]

It's not. Not even close.

[Rory]

Really?

[Julian]

Jump me for. For what, a few minutes?

[Rory]

I mean, I did the plan. We did it.

[Julian]

Rather that than jumping me for months.

[Maul]

Months of jumping is vers.

[Julian]

A few minutes. Please make me a MacBook.

[Maul]

Yo, that is hilarious.

[Julian]

Jumping in what? That'd be the easiest. I don't even know how.

[Damaris]

I was younger, but I couldn't get over the jumping thing. I was in a game, ready to be jumped. I used to want to be in a game.

[Rory]

Is that the only way to get.

[Damaris]

When I was young. Young. But I was like, I'm not getting jumped to be in a game.

[Maul]

Why did you want to be in a game?

[Damaris]

I don't know. I thought I was.

[Maul]

You come from a family of love, and I thought both your parents.

[Damaris]

I wanted to be in a gang.

[Maul]

See, that's what's wrong. See, that's what's wrong with these gangs now. It's kids that don't have no issues at home that just want to be in the streets.

[Damaris]

All right. I wouldn't say I don't have. I didn't have any. And I was also raised. I wasn't going to know. People who are weird are people who live out in the suburbs and they go and seek out the gang. The gang was hanging on the corner of my street.

[Julian]

Like, we like gangs in Long island are pretty scary. Now I'm suburban Kansas. Terrifying.

[Rory]

Those are called the Proud Boys.

[Julian]

No, it's called MS.13.

[Maul]

And when we. We're giving them all prepaid debit cards next month.

[Julian]

But no June. Remember I told you the story. There's other ways to get in a gang. Remember that? My friend of mine that wasn't a Crip said he could bless me with the Crips. And I was like, I think I'm cool.

[Rory]

Yeah.

[Maul]

But like, he wasn't a Crip.

[Julian]

He claimed he was, but he was just. He went to me and said, I can bless you in. You sound like a legitimate crypt to you.

[Rory]

You are in a blue sweater.

[Damaris]

Hey, that's kind of Crip.

[Julian]

Does someone coming to me, yeah, I'll bless you into the crypt. Sound like a legitimate group.

[Maul]

No, thank you.

[Rory]

Outside of getting jumped in, though. What are the other alternatives?

[Damaris]

Can you buy your way in?

[Rory]

A friend of mine locked up for a long time.

[Maul]

Oh yeah.

[Rory]

You could definitely kill someone.

[Maul]

A lot of these athletes have bought their way in the game into gang singers, huh?

[Julian]

He was in greenhouse in one of them.

[Maul]

A few of them. A few of them have been around.

[Rory]

A kid I went to high school, I grew up with. Play bass with all that. He. For his gang initiation, he had to kill someone in a rival gang or whatever.

[Julian]

That's really excessive in my opinion.

[Rory]

It's right.

[Damaris]

I feel like that's a. That's a. A common way.

[Julian]

Murder.

[Rory]

You have to do murder. I'm good. I'm out. Yeah. Give me the hot sauce.

[Maul]

Yeah, yeah. To kill somebody.

[Rory]

I'm 16.

[Julian]

Yeah.

[Maul]

I'm done.

[Rory]

So of course he got scared.

[Julian]

What if I do a bake sale?

[Maul]

Yeah.

[Rory]

Like I've done.

[Maul]

What if I could sell all these cookies in two hours?

[Rory]

Yeah.

[Julian]

What if I sell candy on the train for our basketball team?

[Rory]

Yeah.

[Julian]

Can I join the.

[Rory]

Do the hat trick? Yeah.

[Maul]

Kill somebody.

[Julian]

You know, I can. I have a magic trick with matches.

[Rory]

Want me to do what? Murder.

[Maul]

Go kill your professor. What?

[Rory]

So of course it was terrible. His dad was also a teacher in our high school. So this was like a big story. He took a bunch of drugs, got got spooked, ended up, you know, people saw the gun. He botched the murder, was running from the cops, shooting at the cops, Hit a cop. The cop didn't die, but he hit a cop. That's in itself you're. And they arrested him. He's locked up for like 20 some odd years.

[Damaris]

He's a idiot.

[Julian]

Did he go into prison, like as the gang member, though? I would hope so.

[Rory]

Well, that's it.

[Julian]

Yeah. Imagine doing that. And they're like, he's still done it. You know, we looked into our. Our membership program, but he failed.

[Maul]

He failed.

[Damaris]

Yeah.

[Julian]

He shot a copy.

[Rory]

He didn't shoot out the target. He shot the wrong person.

[Maul]

Shooting a cop gotta get me.

[Julian]

Yeah. Like what gang doesn't that not get me?

[Maul]

Yeah, like, I shoot a cop, I.

[Rory]

Go with them all.

[Maul]

I'm.

[Julian]

Griselda would take me.

[Maul]

Yeah. Like, I gotta be like top dog. I shoot a cop, I'm the toughest nigga in the neighborhood. Shooting a cop is. And I'm. I'm not in. That's crazy. Wait, that's insane.

[Damaris]

You mentioned Griselda. Did you guys finally watch it? Finish it?

[Maul]

I watched Griselda. Finished it.

[Rory]

I liked it.

[Maul]

I felt like, it should have been a little longer. Her story is so. You know, it spans over so many years. I feel like it should be more seasons, but I'm guessing they probably felt like they wouldn't get the budget for a second season, so they kind of had to just, you know, tell us what happened to her at the end of it, so.

[Damaris]

At what point did your jaw drop? I want to know what? Cause my jaw dropped a couple times throughout that series, and I watch tv, so I'm not easily, like, caught off guard. At what moment did your jaw drop? I would like to hear from y'all. I know. Cause I think I know my jaw.

[Rory]

Dropped when they shot homeboy in that meeting. Remember? They sat her down. Her. Her second her.

[Maul]

Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Rory]

That was. Yes, you, us, over. Boom. I used him. And the episode ended. I was like, yeah, but that wasn't.

[Maul]

Too surprising to me because I felt like, I mean, that would have to happen. Like, she had done too much. I don't think it was any jaw dropping moments for me in that shit, though. Like. Cause I, you know, the story. You know, what happened. I think obviously her real life story was way more vicious and brutal than that. But it wasn't too. It wasn't no jaw dropping moments for me, though.

[Julian]

Like, I mean, I've. I've had arguments with partners before. Never have. I walked back out to the party and demanded people start each other.

[Damaris]

Thank you.

[Rory]

That moment was crazy.

[Damaris]

Thank you.

[Maul]

Why? Why was it. Why was that, bro?

[Julian]

Kind of an ill moment she got.

[Damaris]

She sat up there.

[Julian]

What a way to blow off some steam. She.

[Damaris]

In one day, she bought her husband a gold gun.

[Rory]

That gun was fired.

[Damaris]

Okay. Bought him a gold gun, accused him of being a rat. Went upstairs. Some girl that was at the party.

[Julian]

That was her homegirl.

[Damaris]

No, she didn't know that girl that they went up there and her had.

[Julian]

A threesome with, like.

[Damaris]

Yeah, yeah, with the random. Went up there. A random on your husband's birthday, came back down, pulled out a gun, and then made the girl that you just start your other guests at gunpoint.

[Julian]

I was like, okay, sounds like an Adam 22.

[Maul]

Yeah. She was on crack.

[Damaris]

The crack is crazy.

[Rory]

Yeah. When did she start smoking crack?

[Julian]

Wow. It wasn't crack at one point. Kind of like a recreational drug before.

[Damaris]

People realized, yeah, yeah, free basin.

[Maul]

Yeah.

[Rory]

Being like the queen pen of coke and still doing crack is like, that.

[Damaris]

Was with my brain cells.

[Rory]

Like, yo, just live off your product. It's great.

[Maul]

Yeah. But I mean, back then, it was like, it was In a party atmosphere. They had access to whatever they want. They could do whatever they want. It was like rock star. It was like we could do whatever the we want to do. Who's gonna stop us?

[Julian]

And do we talk about this on mic, or is this off mic? I do a rabbit hole deep dive every time I watch some Netflix series. Of course. I need to see where Michael Blanco ended up saying, oh, you talked about this?

[Rory]

Yeah, on Discord.

[Julian]

On Discord, yeah. He's been on, like, a version of love and hip hop for the last decade. Where the have I been really, I feel called Cartel Crew.

[Rory]

The others.

[Julian]

He's been the star.

[Maul]

Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Julian]

I didn't. They shoot it just, like, loving. It's just. It's loving hip hop with drug dealers, kids. He's been around, like, I had no idea.

[Maul]

Yeah.

[Julian]

And that's wild.

[Maul]

And they actually made Sophia look, like, uglier than Griselda ever was in that.

[Rory]

I don't know, bro.

[Maul]

Griselda was. No, she. That nose and that. That. They made Sophia look crazy. Griselda didn't look like that.

[Rory]

She didn't look good.

[Maul]

No, she didn't look like that, though. Like, she was not. Like, she wasn't an ugly woman.

[Rory]

Like, I don't want it.

[Julian]

When she was. When she was younger, she was. She didn't age well because of drugs and being in prison and like that.

[Maul]

Yeah, yeah.

[Julian]

Now, out of all, like, the kingpins, we had that conversation, she kind of has the best story. Almost like it was sort of worth it. How much time does she do in prison?

[Maul]

No, the best.

[Julian]

Not much. I mean, I know all her kids.

[Damaris]

She did. Like, yeah, she did.

[Julian]

I know all her children died. Besides mine.

[Damaris]

She. She died at a old. She died at an old age, but she ended up alone. She lost all her kids.

[Julian]

Okay, but I'm saying out of all the kingpins, so she probably did the least amount of time. Ended up getting gunned down at 70 something.

[Rory]

69.

[Damaris]

Yeah.

[Rory]

Nice.

[Julian]

That's a life.

[Maul]

But she best kingpin by far is Meech. By far.

[Rory]

I wish they showed her getting shot.

[Julian]

But this, you know, holding on to resentment. By the way, I also did not know, like, Griselda died when Westside Gun was, like, rapping. How did I not know she died in, like, 2012.

[Damaris]

Yes.

[Maul]

Yeah.

[Rory]

She just got killed September 3rd.

[Julian]

I had no idea. I mean, I knew she was dead, but I didn't know it was so recent. It's like when I found out Picasso, like, was painting in the 90s when I thought it was the 1800s. Like, the things you learn. It's like, wait, he was around the.

[Rory]

Whole time and you dropped out?

[Julian]

Griselda was in 2012.

[Maul]

Meech. Meech. To me, Meech is the. If you want to say, most successful as far as, like, he still can come home and have a life.

[Damaris]

Yeah.

[Julian]

I'll be out, what, like 10 years or something?

[Damaris]

Yeah, like, so it's like he doesn't have any enemies?

[Maul]

I don't think so. I mean, I'm sure some people in the streets probably got issues with him, but.

[Damaris]

Because people thought that Griselda was safe to come home, too. But who thought that the chickens come home?

[Julian]

She was chilling in Medellin for 30 years.

[Damaris]

Yeah.

[Maul]

Yeah. But nobody thought Griselda was safe.

[Julian]

After 30 years, I'm gonna be comfortable going to the deli with my pregnant daughter.

[Rory]

I'm surprised the youngest son is alive. I thought they had wiped a bunch of bloodline.

[Julian]

I watched the whole interview, and they had a bunch of attempts.

[Rory]

I'm sure. I'm sure he has a lot of getting tried.

[Julian]

Yeah, I feel for him.

[Maul]

He's.

[Rory]

Because they. They did a lot of damage.

[Julian]

Talk about some shitty parenting.

[Maul]

I was watching top drug dealer.

[Julian]

Probably the worst mother. We give the mother from blow a lot of flack. Griselda might have been the worst mother of all.

[Damaris]

Yeah, she was off.

[Rory]

Yeah. She manipulated the. Out of her sons.

[Julian]

Like, that was nuts.

[Maul]

But you almost have to, at the level she was doing it. She manipulated everybody, I guess.

[Rory]

Or you could just, like, she was.

[Julian]

On crack, get out with the hundreds of millions you have and, like, relocate your family.

[Damaris]

She could have did that so many times. But also to make it clear, the Griselda show on Netflix is not very accurate at all. Michael is actually suing them because of how inaccurate it is. That's why they say it's loosely based on Griselda's life.

[Rory]

Yeah, loosely. The damn show is called Griselda.

[Damaris]

Yeah, but. Yeah, I know.

[Julian]

Did they say what specifically was different out of the whole thing? I mean, I don't know.

[Damaris]

I. I don't know what Michael said, but he said that they. They didn't consult him about anything. I think a lot of it is based off of they have a movie about her life, and I think they based a lot of that off of the movie in her life. Like, for example, even in the movie. In the movie, she had, like, a female lover. Nobody knows if that's true.

[Julian]

She's fucking mad at that.

[Rory]

It's a hilarious thing for Michael to complain about. I just did a quick Google search. They said there's a inaccuracy where in 1978 where it says she was struggling to sell a kilo of cocaine. He said it was quite embarrassing. Meaning he's like, there's no way she was slinging the shit out of that stuff.

[Damaris]

Yeah, the way that they did that, like when they said she ran.

[Maul]

Yeah. I got my mom's up. She never had problems getting a brick off.

[Julian]

At least tell the story correctly.

[Maul]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Even though it wasn't 10, it was 10,000 bricks.

[Damaris]

Them saying that she ran away from her second husband after she killed him because he made her sleep with her brother. She. He made her sleep with his brother. That never happened.

[Rory]

Oh, that's a weird thing to put on there.

[Damaris]

That's what I'm saying.

[Julian]

Hollywood esque, like at the motel, spared her life and then that was the new husband.

[Damaris]

That felt like very. That's how weird. Don't put up. If I'm dead, don't be out here putting bodies on my jacket. Especially my husband's brother. That's up.

[Julian]

Yeah, but why they left her. Her. Her twin flame out of the whole. When she was in prison.

[Damaris]

Oh, the black dude.

[Julian]

Yeah, that was her guy.

[Maul]

But that happened after she came home from that stint, I think.

[Damaris]

Yeah, I think she don't.

[Maul]

She did seven years for that. I think she came home after that and that's when she met the guy in California.

[Damaris]

It was the parts that I would have thought were lies were actually true. Like the. Oh, we are spoiling it. We gotta put a spoiler before this. But the, the. When her homie.

[Julian]

Listen to Benny.

[Damaris]

When her homie did the sex scandal with the operator with the secretary at the DA's office or whatever. That's real like that.

[Julian]

Actually, I checked that one up.

[Maul]

Yeah, he knew what he was doing.

[Julian]

You gotta have a lot of confidence in your phone sex game to do that play of like I'm gonna look like a rat and then get her off based off my confidence in phone sex.

[Maul]

But not boo.

[Julian]

And by the way, you know what they lied about?

[Damaris]

What?

[Julian]

It was two women, not just one.

[Damaris]

It was two. Yep.

[Julian]

He was having orgy d a calls.

[Maul]

Yeah, but did you know that once you have an improper relationship that it the whole case up. That's all he had to do was have an improper relationship with somebody on that side of the case. And he knew that it would.

[Damaris]

That was genius.

[Maul]

It would the case up.

[Julian]

That's why when they sent that hussy To Nas in the. The night of his lawyer sent that little hussy to him and he was trying to beat in a cell and they had to, like, throw the lawyer out. And that's how he ended up with, like, the court appointed lawyer.

[Maul]

I'm watching. I watched Love on the Spectrum on Netflix. Did y'all see that?

[Julian]

I have not. But I cannot wait to hear your review.

[Maul]

All right, so I'm not gonna. We ain't got to go into.

[Julian]

You don't need to spoil anything.

[Maul]

I want y'all to see it. I want y'all to watch it.

[Julian]

But I'm aware of the concept.

[Maul]

I have a question. Like, do. Do autistic people have kids?

[Julian]

Yeah.

[Rory]

Yeah, they fuck a lot.

[Maul]

Really?

[Julian]

Yeah.

[Maul]

I don't know any autistic people that have kids.

[Damaris]

Do you know any autistic people?

[Maul]

Of course.

[Rory]

Rory.

[Damaris]

Yeah, so you said it's Rory and me. Honestly, No.

[Maul]

I mean, like, come on.

[Rory]

I'm an alpha. I'm not autistic.

[Damaris]

Farther down the line.

[Maul]

Yeah.

[Damaris]

Farther down the spectrum.

[Maul]

Yeah. Like, if y'all watch Love on the Spectrum on that, it was great. I enjoyed it. Of course. Just me being silly. I laughed at a lot of shit.

[Rory]

But you're supposed to.

[Maul]

Yeah, I just. I laughed at a lot of.

[Julian]

The same way I thought it'd be crazy for someone to go in and pitch the Circumcision. Can you imagine trying to pitch that show before you shoot?

[Maul]

Insane.

[Julian]

Like, going in with the deck to present to Netflix. Like, all right, listen, I actually, you know autistic people, right?

[Maul]

I actually felt like I shouldn't have been watching some of that shit. Like, you ever watch somebody like this? Doesn't feel right. Like I should.

[Julian]

I haven't clicked it because I'm nervous about how I feel weird about it, and then I feel like I may enjoy it.

[Maul]

It's one girl on it that's super horny. Like she wants to fuck bad. Like, she's trying to get a boyfriend and she's like, asking, like, the autistic boyfriend, how do you feel about premarital sex? Like, he has his first kiss with her. I should not be watching autistic people have their first kiss on Netflix in 4K.

[Damaris]

A lot of them don't. Autistic people are not. I don't want to say because we don't use that word. But the word equivalent, you said, like a half hour ago, they're not autistic people. Aren't that. So it's. I know you feel like you're looking. You're making fun of slow people, but autistic people are not slow. Are you getting what I'm saying?

[Maul]

I get what you're saying.

[Julian]

Extremely intelligent.

[Maul]

Yeah, I get what you're saying. But it's just like. It just was. It just was an awkward feeling I got watching that. I'm just like, this is. They shouldn't have filmed.

[Julian]

It's. I mean, it's. If you've watched Shane Gillispecial, which we will get into as far as SNL shortly, he was suggesting, like, you're putting people on camera. The one thing they can't handle is social situation. They are some of the smartest human beings.

[Maul]

Oh, 100.

[Julian]

But the one thing that they have trouble with, for the most part, across the board, is social situations.

[Maul]

Yes.

[Julian]

Now we're going to create the most chaotic social situation that anyone on earth would have to deal with. A Netflix show.

[Maul]

Yeah, it's a good show. It's a good series.

[Julian]

Crazy.

[Maul]

Yeah, it's a good series. Y'all should definitely check it out. If you haven't seen it yet, It. We could talk about it.

[Julian]

I know we've been on Michael Rappaport for a few months now. He was on a show about. He was the father of an autistic kid, so really, really good.

[Rory]

Oh, that's a great show.

[Julian]

Love that show.

[Rory]

Damn. What's that called? I. I still watch it.

[Julian]

Sam. I can't remember.

[Rory]

Atypical.

[Julian]

Atypical.

[Rory]

Great show.

[Julian]

And by. By the second season, you know, Sam's grabbing handies at the school dance in the igloo.

[Rory]

Yeah. He loves penguins.

[Julian]

He's gone. But then I won't spoil it. But how. Julian, you've seen it. How do you feel that Sam has, like, a girlfriend? Because then I wasn't sure if I was being judgmental and weird that this girl was because he's. He's very, very much on the spectrum.

[Maul]

What show is this?

[Julian]

Really good show.

[Rory]

I think it's on.

[Julian]

Michael Rapport's actually great in it. Everyone. It's.

[Maul]

It's just a great Michael Rapport.

[Julian]

They also say it's an extremely free pre Gaza situation.

[Rory]

Yeah. They say it's extremely accurate, too, for how autistic people like. It's. It's kind of informative. Like, I learned a lot from watching the show. I think it's fine that he had a girlfriend.

[Julian]

Is that up that. I think that way, though? Because I know most people won't admit this because they want to seem like they're awesome, but if I had a child that was at that level of autism. And a girl wanted to date him like freshman year of high school. I would have some reserves on why. And I know that sounds up, but I would just be terrified for his well being. Like, what? This girl, she's not autistic at all. Like, she's just.

[Rory]

She's weird as. But like her character makes sense.

[Julian]

And that sounds up because it's like, well, he's just like everyone else. He's just a little bit different. Why can't he enjoy having a relationship as well? And why are we putting this on this girl who may just generally like this kid? Because he is brilliant in his own right. But no one admit it because I know you guys are awesome, but I feel fucking weird. I'd have. I'd have some questions. I would have some questions.

[Damaris]

Okay, it's okay to have questions. You should have questions about anybody your child dates. But this is the same conversation we had about little teeny homegirl and her boyfriend.

[Julian]

That's like, still think it's weird.

[Damaris]

Okay, I understand that. But as far as like people, not everybody is evil. And I think sometimes we've experienced so many evil people and we have evil traits ourselves that we, we automatically expect the worst out of people. And just because we're not able to handle a situation or we wouldn't be able to be attracted to this person, we think that every something's funny when other people do.

[Julian]

Like, I could understand if she. And of course this is from a show and it's hypothetical, if she came from like a family, that she's maybe dealt with autistic people before, then I could see it being more genuine. But yes, I would have that evil thought in my head that this girl may be here not knowing about autism and thinking maybe she can manipulate my son or like this is an experiment to her. Like, I would go in with those thoughts, which I think is up. But.

[Damaris]

But what does a teenage girl get out of dating the autistic boy?

[Julian]

I don't know. That's why I haven't made it. I didn't make it to season three.

[Damaris]

She doesn't get anything out of that other than teased by the rest of her fucking classmates.

[Maul]

I just don't understand how autistic, like an autistic woman could have a child.

[Rory]

Why not?

[Damaris]

You scaring me.

[Rory]

There's nothing wrong functionally with that.

[Maul]

No, because it's like you said that like an autistic woman raising. They're socially. Like, they don't know. They're so like, you know, Just you're.

[Rory]

Talking from the nurturing side of things.

[Maul]

Yeah. Like, I just don't understand how they would be able to. Like, because if you watch this show Love on the Spectrum, the parents of these autistic people, their fear is one day that obviously the parents are gonna die. And then like this, like him being alone, it's like, how is he gonna manage? Like, how's he gonna. So now that person having a child.

[Damaris]

I get where you're. Nobody wants to say it out loud, but I get what you're.

[Maul]

It's like, yo, that's. To me, that just seems dangerous. That's just like, yo, this child may be in danger and not purposely put in danger, but it's like the parent is autistic.

[Damaris]

Well, well, hold on. There's different levels of autism. If there are verb. If they are verbally autistic and they're able to take care of themselves, then that's fine. As far as them being awkward or like not comfortable in social situations, it might make for a weird childhood, but the child is not in danger. If you're not a violent or like, if you don't have a violent type of autism where you're non verbal, you don't know how to communicate with anything other than violence, then that can be dangerous. But if you're just awkward, like, that's not. Yeah.

[Julian]

You might get one of those situations where, you know, Sean Penn and I am Sam is screaming for pancakes in the diner with his daughter. Like, you might get some moments, but atypical, I guess speaks to the best scenario, which not all people have a very supportive family that no matter what, like, make sure that he can live a normal life because that. But they have to. It takes a toll on them to be able to do all of that.

[Maul]

Yeah.

[Julian]

So I think I understand the fear of like, if the parents pass away, then what? That's where the rest of the family. That's where siblings are important. That's where. Yeah, you're gonna.

[Maul]

That's what I'm saying. That that person in particular, that type of autistic person having a child and they can't even really take care of themselves. Like they have to have somebody take care of them. That doesn't seem dangerous.

[Julian]

I guess it depends their level of autism. And I haven't seen this.

[Maul]

Well, that's what I'm saying. Like, it's. I'm not saying oh. Cause you know, some people that have it, it's like, oh, but you wouldn't even really know that this person's Autistic. Like, you know what I'm saying? Like, it's like, you wouldn't really. Some people think Kanye's autistic.

[Damaris]

Kanye is very 100%.

[Rory]

He is.

[Maul]

I mean, he has kids. He's very loving. He's very, you know, nurturing, takes care of his family. So I'm not saying it's impossible, but it's certain levels of autism where I'm just like, it might be dangerous for this person to have a kid. Like, I can't see this person being able to take care of people without autism. Can't really take care of children. So imagine somebody that has.

[Damaris]

No, I get it completely.

[Maul]

You know what I mean? It's just like.

[Julian]

Well, I think. I mean, if you let Kim tell it rightfully so I think when Kanye's had a few episodes, it has looked not like he. I don't ever think Kanye would harm his children, but some of his outbursts, whether it be on Twitter when he was running around LA and, like, yelling at people and shit, could. Could scare a mother. And that was, I think, his Asperger's and autism really kicking in. I don't know if he's bipolar. I'm not a doctor, but, yeah, we've seen Kanye have episodes that could have affected his kids in a very negative way. And I think Kim has spoken honestly, the most respectful, I think any mother could have in a lot of those situations. Like, I give it to Kim when he's had those. So it's doable. But, I mean, who am I to. I haven't been in that situation. I'm just happy to have the conversation when I know people won't, because it's a scary one to have. Because no matter what, you look insane.

[Maul]

Yeah.

[Julian]

If you ask those types of questions right, you look like a. But I don't know. Shane Gillis is gonna be on snl. It'll be great.

[Rory]

I'm hype, man. What a comeback.

[Maul]

You hype about that?

[Julian]

Did that kill Cancel Culture Forever Canceled him.

[Rory]

They tried. He back. He back.

[Julian]

For those that don't know, Shane Gillis was hired onto snl and then they dug up his tweets. And from years and years and years ago, he made a few Asian jokes. I actually don't know exactly what they. They are, so I know it. They were super offensive. I'm not here to debate.

[Rory]

That wasn't even a tweet. It was on his podcast.

[Julian]

On his podcast.

[Rory]

Okay, he's talking about Chinatown.

[Maul]

What do you say?

[Rory]

A lot of chinks running around Chinatown. Some like that in passing in character of like a thing that he does on his podcast. If you know Shane, you. You would get it. So they dug that up in the middle of Stop Asian Hate as soon as he got announced. Oh, threw him to the wolves. Got him out of here.

[Julian]

Of course, timing was not on his side there. So years past. Shane Gillis, obviously now is one of the biggest stand up comedians, period, and is now hosting snl, the company that fired him and canceled him. Does this officially cancel?

[Maul]

Cancel Culture is not real. We'd say it all the time. We say it all the time. It's not real.

[Rory]

And I don't either and I hate repeating it.

[Julian]

But this. But this time, can we officially say that it's like not.

[Maul]

Well, the only person against that ever been successfully canceled is Chrisette Michelle Fair. Yo. They canceled her.

[Julian]

I still.

[Maul]

She sang for President Trump and nobody fucked with her after that.

[Rory]

Yeah, that was crazy.

[Maul]

Insane.

[Damaris]

Dababy too, though.

[Maul]

Now he back. No.

[Julian]

Is he? I just like this PSA freestyle from. Yes.

[Maul]

Yeah, he back. The baby's back.

[Rory]

Shane also got a partnership with Bud Light, which is funny because this is Bud Light's major rebrand pivot since the Dylan Mulvaney scare. So it's funny. They go, it's a perfect move. He's the perfect candidate.

[Julian]

If you're Shane Gillis, do you walk out to do the monologue and start with the Asian joke that got you fired?

[Rory]

Yeah, I would.

[Julian]

I feel like you have to.

[Rory]

He'll be on. I think he's going to be like on his Norm MacDonald shit when Norm MacDonald did the monologue and pretty much gave the whole building a fuck you. I hope Shane.

[Julian]

I hope he pulls the move that Chappelle pulled with the last one, which is the only monologue SNL has ever taken down. You know, because he was talking about them. He did a completely different monologue during dress rehearsals and then went out for the real live taping. And did you know, whoever they are. Yeah, did that one. I would love if Shane did that. Give him something different on the dress rehearsal and then come out with the same. Same Asian joke.

[Maul]

I like that.

[Rory]

And I hope he's not only. I hope they let him. I don't know how involved he wants to be with this, but I hope he gets the opportunity to write some sketches. I've. I'm so as a fan of him. It would be his. If you're not familiar, Gillian Keeves is this. Is this sketch show that he created with his great friend and writing Partner that blew up on YouTube. All their videos have over millions of views. It's so funny. I really want him to write sketches for this one. It would be so. It would be awesome. Awesome.

[Julian]

Can I play the other side of. Of someone that agrees sometimes cancel culture should exist. Not in this situation. But what does that say about SNL now? Now that Asian. Stop Asian hate is not trendy. It's okay to have him on.

[Damaris]

Yeah.

[Julian]

Because how does that make you look?

[Maul]

As.

[Julian]

As. I'm glad they had him on. He deserves to be on. I don't. I mean, especially at that time. I know Asians are being attacked. I'm not going to tell anyone how to feel about a joke. But to fire him, you're not going to stand on your square. Now that he has the biggest Netflix standup right now amongst the youth, he is the biggest standup comedian now. You have him on after you fired him for making jokes on a joke platform. But yeah, to close, I'm happy Shane Gillis and 21 Savage be on SNL. I hope Shane Gillis does some Trump impressions because he's one of the best Trump impersonators. And since the other one shot somebody, we haven't had a good Trump impression in quite some time. But to close the cancel culture thing, I'm not mad at people being offended by a certain joke or a statement and saying, yo, I can't with that person. I can respect that to some degree. But just stand on your square. Don't all of a sudden now not be offended and bring Shane Gillis back. Canceling somebody, you're going to be offended. I can respect you if you stay offended forever.

[Maul]

Cancel somebody.

[Julian]

So Lauren Michaels is stupid. Stand on your square or don't.

[Maul]

No. Canceling somebody over a joke is stupid.

[Julian]

Agreed. But if someone wants to go all that way and stay that way, that's how they feel. I can't say much. Don't now when times have passed.

[Maul]

Yeah, but that's why it's stand.

[Julian]

Stand on your square. That's all.

[Maul]

If it's a joke. And jokes are. Are usually made out of some of the darkest situations, you try to find some light, some. Some humor. That's just what comedy is. It's been that way forever.

[Julian]

You saying that. Be consistent with your outrage all the way through.

[Damaris]

So you're saying that comedians love Asians.

[Julian]

All the way through.

[Damaris]

Comedians should have free reign to be racist just because they're comedians.

[Maul]

Not racist. No, I'm not saying you have free range to be racist, but if you want to Make a racist joke. If a comedian wants to make a joke at some racist shit that's happening and have fun with it, it's a joke laugh.

[Damaris]

But you can be. You can make a racist. Like, I'm not even against racist jokes. You can make a racist joke without using a slur. Right? So you can. There's plenty of people. For example, everybody knows the N word is off limits. Comedians have been doing funny bits about stereotypic black people. Shit. It may be distasteful, whatever, but they don't get canceled because they don't use the N word. So you can. I mean, some of them do, but plenty of them don't. So you can make an. A joke about Asian people without using an Asian slurp. I don't under.

[Maul]

Yeah, but I mean.

[Damaris]

And it wasn't even funny. It wasn't even a good setup. You just said a slur, and you had to be a comedian.

[Maul]

You can make an Asian joke without using the slur. You can. But if you do use a slur, like, you're canceled. Like, come on.

[Damaris]

So there's no line for comedians. There should be no line.

[Maul]

It's a different thing when you talking about comedy and making a joke and laughing like. Like, it's just a. Certain things are allowed under the guise of, yo, this is comedy. Like, if you go to a comedy show and you're offended, guess what? You probably shouldn't be at a comedy show.

[Damaris]

Yeah, but it wasn't a comedy show. He was just talking to somebody on a podcast. So just because he happens to be a comedian.

[Maul]

Comedian. This is what he's. He's gonna push the line. He's gonna say some things that are offensive, but you understand, like, yo, he's not. He's not a politician. He's not a pa. He's not a doctor. He's not somebody. He's a fucking comedian. Like, laugh like you get. Okay, I get it. He's a comedian. Maybe insensitive, maybe wasn't funny, but it's like, he's canceled now. Cancel some of these niggas that's accused of rape that's still out here performing and doing parties and shit.

[Damaris]

No, agree, but I think that. Listen, like I said, I don't. I'm not really big on cancel culture, but I don't think that there's anything wrong with being held. I think that there should be a line. For example, we say plenty of shit. This is. This could be considered a comedy podcast. We say plenty of shit out here. But you know what? We do we bleep out when we know we've gone too far?

[Rory]

I never want to bleep. I'm just gonna put that out there.

[Damaris]

No one's surprised because. But we BLEEP out when we know that we've gone too far. That's all it takes, a two second bleep.

[Rory]

Comedy style.

[Damaris]

Just out of respect for the demographic. Like, out of respect for the people who are listening to you. It wasn't like it was an incredibly set up joke. That's the thing when it comes to like, oh, I'm a comedian. It wasn't a setup joke. There was no punchline. You just said some ignorant shit. It wasn't meant to be a joke. But because you're a comedian, it's funny. Oh, shit.

[Julian]

But also, I'm not defending the ignorant shit. But also, if he would have said some, like, real malice hateful shit towards Asian people.

[Damaris]

Agreed.

[Julian]

I'm not saying that. That, that is a slur for Chinese people. I'm not defending that. But just saying that in passing is a mistake. If he said some real hateful shit with it, I, I could see it. It's. And also, Patrice O'Neill was the best one when it came to defending all comedians. Even if you don't find it funny and even if the joke stinks. Every comedian's intent was to be funny, not hateful. It came from a place of an attempt to be funny. You could say that it missed the mark and we could all say it's a shitty joke. His attempt.

[Maul]

But to cancel.

[Rory]

Only the only time it wasn't an attempt was when Kramer went on that rant. That wasn't him trying to be funny. That was him just being a racist.

[Maul]

Exactly.

[Rory]

And for that, you know, you know the difference.

[Maul]

You know the difference. Yeah.

[Damaris]

You know, honestly, most people in the world. Most people in the world are bigots and sure. And have their own form of racist. Like, let's all just be honest here about what the is said at dinner tables. I'm not talking about you liberal white people who are just like, oh, my God, this is a Kimberly. And we all know that some people say shit around their families that they would never say in person or to other people or on a mic. The difference is if you have a platform, there are just certain things that you should and shouldn't say.

[Maul]

Yeah, keep.

[Damaris]

Whatever. If you want to call people slurs behind their back, that's fine, whatever. Like, I'm not saying that anybody's innocent of that. What I'm saying is when you Have a platform. You need to be responsible with your platform. You can still be funny and racist without saying slurs.

[Maul]

Everybody. Everybody has said the N word before.

[Rory]

Everybody disagree, especially Rory.

[Maul]

Everybody.

[Damaris]

I really don't think Rory's ever said it, man.

[Rory]

I'm not buying. Not what. Because I don't want to make this personal. Every white person said.

[Maul]

Yeah, every white person has said the N word before. Like, even not. I'm not saying, like, said it like. Like, those fucking niggers. Like, not like that, but, like, you're not going to tell me a white person that loves their favorite hip hop artists if they're in their crib alone listening to rap and he has nigger in the bar, they don't say the word.

[Rory]

You're at the crib talking about Simon in it.

[Maul]

Yeah, that's not happening.

[Rory]

Censoring yourself.

[Maul]

Yeah, like, cut it out.

[Julian]

I am insecure. So me rapping by myself in my room always made me. Always made me feel weird. I would only rap out loud amongst my friends. And like, we had the conversation with little brother. That'll be on our patreon.com. i was around black people. That would have hit me. I was scared straight. But we're not from the beginning, people.

[Rory]

Dolo at the crib.

[Julian]

And I'm saying I'm an insecure person. You think I'd feel comfortable rapping in my room alone?

[Rory]

Yes.

[Julian]

I would feel so weird.

[Rory]

You tried it. Everyone's tried it.

[Julian]

Yeah. And I've failed halfway through.

[Maul]

I'm just that.

[Julian]

But see, halfway through, illmatic.

[Maul]

Because the way I grew up, that wouldn't bother me. I grew up with white white kids. I grew up with. With Asian kids. I grew up with.

[Julian]

I grew up with mad white kids that use the word.

[Maul]

That's what I'm saying. Like, that does not. That does not bother me. Me. Like, it's. Are you kidding me? Like, I grew up with some of my best friends growing up was white kids. Like, I grew up in the Bronx. Like, I was around all types of cultures, all types of people. Everybody used the word.

[Damaris]

He was one of them.

[Julian]

That mine never came because I.

[Maul]

It wasn't like they was like, yo, maul you. You come downstairs. It wasn't like that, but it was like, yo, what's up, my? Like, yo, what's up, fam? Like, I'm gonna be like, yo, what you just said?

[Damaris]

You should probably check them get the out.

[Maul]

You probably should have checked out.

[Julian]

Like, mine never came because.

[Rory]

Yeah, I'm not gonna lie. I don't let White people say to me. They say it. I know they say everyone says it, but I don't let them say it.

[Damaris]

Me personally, I feel like even if you say it in a passing way, I feel like, you know, like society teaches you that you're not supposed to do that. So if you get it off of me, you think I'm.

[Maul]

But it's a difference, though. It's a difference.

[Rory]

I'm on her side.

[Maul]

It's a difference. What's up my. And, hey, you. It's. It's different.

[Julian]

Of course you don't have the stripes.

[Damaris]

To be able to. To be able to say that, bro. You don't have the stripes.

[Rory]

Yeah.

[Julian]

My fear came out of thinking Twitter would happen one day or I'd know. D. Ray, I'm saying I was scared to say the fucking word.

[Maul]

You think that.

[Damaris]

Believe you.

[Maul]

You think that only. You think that only black people.

[Julian]

Because I don't think he realizes there's a difference there. You could be scared.

[Maul]

I understand what you're saying, but you think that only black people could say.

[Damaris]

Nigger and let's just go by society standards. Yes, Only black people should be able to say that.

[Maul]

So you think that no. Dominican, Puerto Rican, first of all, Albanian, Dominican and black.

[Damaris]

First of all, Dominican people can be black. Puerto Rican people can be black. Cuban people can be black. Black is.

[Maul]

No, I'm asking. I'm asking you. I'm asking you. Do you think they. Are they allowed to use it? Because some people don't feel like they are.

[Damaris]

That's some people. Me, personally, I don't feel like if I don't. I don't want to bring black into it. African American. I feel like that's an African American.

[Maul]

Okay. Do you feel like Dominicans and Puerto Ricans are able to use that? No, that's what we. That's crazy.

[Damaris]

No.

[Maul]

You told somebody that grew up around a bunch of Dominicans, okay, you can.

[Damaris]

Grow up around them. What does that change? What does it change? Because you grew up around.

[Maul]

Because the word was not. Not offensive.

[Damaris]

It's not about.

[Maul]

In our community. It wasn't. It just wasn't offensive.

[Damaris]

It's not about being offensive. It's not about. What are we talking about black people using? I would prefer if they didn't, but. Because everything has a root. Everything has a root. You words just don't appear out of thin air. Everything has a root.

[Maul]

Yeah, but tonight you're saying black people shouldn't use the word.

[Damaris]

No, I don't think anybody should use it. I still listen so black people should.

[Maul]

I'm like, yo, that's my. What's up my. I shouldn't say that.

[Damaris]

I think because of the root of the word, that we should get rid of the word. I've always thought that. Do I use it?

[Maul]

Yes. Then if that's the case, there's a bunch of words we need to get.

[Damaris]

Of course. And we can work on that. But you're asking my opinion. I would prefer no one use the word.

[Rory]

I don't really use it.

[Julian]

Can I ask a question? Not to make a point. Really ask a question. The white people that said it all around me, that said it around black people within that group. No. And I'm saying they said it, but when they went outside of that circle, they never said it.

[Maul]

Of course.

[Julian]

So I'm asking in the community, does that change things a bit? But I'm saying when the white people that were in the Bronx, when y'all went elsewhere, whether it'd be to another.

[Maul]

Neighborhood, another borough, no, they didn't use it. But amongst us and on our block, in our community, in our park, because.

[Damaris]

They knew it was wrong. That's why they didn't use it anywhere else, because they knew what was wrong.

[Maul]

But I don't. But I don't. I don't use the word around certain people.

[Julian]

Like, Fred, you use it a lot today.

[Maul]

No, because I know y'all. That's different. I'm talking about. But y'all. Have y'all seen me in the airport? Be like, yo, this blocking up the. You've never seen.

[Julian]

Yes. When I was trying to get through precheck. That's exactly what you said to me.

[Maul]

I did not.

[Rory]

You did. It's on camera.

[Maul]

Never said that.

[Rory]

I got the audio.

[Maul]

Never said that. You never said that. I don't use that word. I'm just saying. But in the confines of my friends.

[Rory]

And my friends is when.

[Maul]

Yeah, it's like, are you kidding me? Like, if I. If I didn't. My friends are like, yo, what's up with him? He acting like you in a. Why are you acting like a hop right now? That's just how it is amongst my friends and people I grew up with. That's how we talk. That's how we greet each other. That's how we. We. We took that word and put a different meaning and a different tone to it. That's what we did in our culture. This is what it is. I understand the root and where it came from, but we was like, okay, that's what they used to call Us now we using it as a term of endearment and showing love. Like, that's just is. It is what it is. Like, I'm not offended if a Dominican uses that word that I know and I grew up with. I'm not offended by that shit. We grew up together, slept in each other's house, left in this on the same couch. Like, are you kidding?

[Damaris]

Yeah. So there's a million and eighteen words in the dictionary to define friend, to define brother, to define homie. Why do you feel the need to use.

[Rory]

They also have names.

[Damaris]

Why do they need to feel the need to use that? There's a million other eight things that they could call you. Why do they feel the need to use that word?

[Julian]

I was so.

[Damaris]

When they know the root of that word.

[Maul]

But that's just a word we use in our culture. It was here before me. It's gonna be here after I'm gone.

[Julian]

I was a habitual sun user.

[Damaris]

Duke. Rory loves Duke.

[Julian]

Duke came later as a joke.

[Damaris]

Fam. No, fam. Is Rory.

[Rory]

Your lights on? That's what I was.

[Julian]

Oh, I thought you were telling me to look at my phone.

[Rory]

It was blinding me.

[Julian]

And then I was like, oh, they sent us the Usher album. That's what I thought you were pointing at.

[Rory]

Oh.

[Julian]

Not gonna offend my political connections. Usher at midnight. Who's excited that's coming out?

[Rory]

Me tonight.

[Damaris]

Me.

[Julian]

Yeah.

[Rory]

Oh, Yep. They had a good little. Good little. They had a good track list.

[Damaris]

I'm ex. I'm really excited about it. I love Usher music. Usher has not come out with a very few projects that I don't love almost an entirety. So I'm extremely.

[Maul]

Usher album is tonight.

[Julian]

Do we get Schoolboy tonight or next Friday?

[Maul]

I think this Friday. I think tonight. Oh, today.

[Julian]

This is good. This is a good Friday of music.

[Rory]

No. March 1st. Schoolboy.

[Maul]

Oh, March 1st.

[Julian]

Damn it. Oh, he's doing a real rollout.

[Damaris]

Yeah.

[Rory]

Proper TD rollout.

[Maul]

Doing a proper. Doing a proper rollout.

[Julian]

Proper lad. I like both the records that Schoolboy put out. I'm really excited for that album, Usher. I'm not going in with a lot of expectations. I don't know if that's hating, but I am.

[Rory]

That's hate.

[Maul]

He got the super bowl next weekend.

[Julian]

I don't want to be disappointed.

[Damaris]

I think the album. I think the album was damn near done before they even asked him to do super bowl, so.

[Maul]

Super Bowl. Oh, shit. Super Bowl's this weekend.

[Damaris]

Yeah.

[Maul]

Usher out. Yeah, he's doing it right. I got. I got a lot of Expectations. Got a lot of expectations.

[Julian]

I don't care if this album is Thriller. I don't want to hear any new records at the Super Bowl.

[Rory]

No, you better not touch any of these damn records on that set.

[Julian]

I feel like it would be stupid.

[Damaris]

For him not to.

[Maul]

No, he don't. No.

[Damaris]

From his management. You just released the album. You have the biggest platform in the world right now.

[Maul]

The fact that he's there, that's it. His name will be searched on itunes. He don't need to do no songs.

[Damaris]

I agree, but if I was his management, I would tell him to do a.

[Maul]

He better not. He better not. You better go out there and do the. Do that shit.

[Damaris]

Yeah. Yeah. Oh, the white people are gonna lose.

[Rory]

White people go crazy for you.

[Maul]

Oh, yeah.

[Julian]

He coming out the gate with you.

[Rory]

Yeah.

[Maul]

Yeah. That's their, like, that's the first song they want to hear. When they, like, put their. Their suitcase in the room on the cruise. As soon as they go up to the top deck, they 100. They want to hear. Yeah. As soon as they get on, they're.

[Julian]

Playing it from their iPhone.

[Maul]

Yeah. Yeah, they want to hear that. As soon as they put their luggage in their room on the cruise, they want to hear. Yeah.

[Julian]

You guys like this track list? This track list terrifies me. That's why I'm not going in with any expectations.

[Damaris]

Yeah.

[Rory]

20 songs.

[Julian]

20 songs. Here's the thing. I love all the features. I don't know if I. It's gonna sound like hate. I want to hear an Usher in summer. I like 21 Savage. I don't know if I need a 21 Savage verse on the Usher and Summer Walker song first.

[Maul]

You didn't like.

[Damaris]

I don't like that came out already. It's good.

[Julian]

Oh, it's out.

[Damaris]

I mean, listen, you've never heard Good, Good.

[Julian]

I don't think so.

[Rory]

It's a good song.

[Maul]

Crazy. I don't know record is.

[Julian]

That's not the one. Summer samples. Right.

[Damaris]

It's a great song, and it's been.

[Julian]

Oh, I take it back. I'm sorry. I have not heard it.

[Maul]

Yeah, no, that song is dope. That's a really good record.

[Julian]

Well, I listen to Too Many Bubbles.

[Damaris]

And it's doing pretty. It's doing pretty well on the charts, too.

[Maul]

That's a no. This record is dope.

[Julian]

I totally missed it. I apologize. I'm ignorant. No.

[Maul]

Shame.

[Julian]

Everyone shamed me in the comments.

[Maul]

No, no, this record is this.

[Julian]

Did we need 21 Savage on it?

[Maul]

He did his thing.

[Rory]

Okay.

[Julian]

I like 21 Savage a lot.

[Maul]

Yeah, he got off.

[Julian]

That's him dancing.

[Maul]

No, that's not 21 Savage.

[Damaris]

Dance, yo.

[Julian]

Well, I can't tell if it's. It's not shadows.

[Maul]

It's. It's safe to assume that's how he.

[Julian]

That's how he ties his durag.

[Maul]

If this is the Usher record and you see a video of somebody's dancing.

[Julian]

It'S safe to assume when 21 Savage has a durag on, that's how he ties it.

[Rory]

Never wears a durag.

[Maul]

He's not. And he's not dancing.

[Julian]

But you don't see him in London. Y'all ain't seen Atlanta.

[Damaris]

We'll play.

[Julian]

I'm sure that Usher record is great. I love lotto. Is a lotto verse necessary on that song?

[Maul]

You didn't hear it.

[Julian]

I know. I'm predicting.

[Rory]

Where's Auto from?

[Julian]

Atlanta.

[Rory]

Oh, okay. Because the song's called a town girl, so I just want to make sure.

[Julian]

That lotto usually does great with a feature.

[Maul]

And she's from Alabama.

[Julian]

Bubba said these about magic shoes.

[Rory]

When were we doing that off the last episode.

[Julian]

Cannot wait for that Ushering song.

[Maul]

I think this album's gonna be incredible.

[Julian]

Cannot wait for Usher and her.

[Rory]

I think you got a song in there called bop that's gonna go up out the gate.

[Julian]

Love Burner Boy. Usher and Burner Boy as the intro.

[Maul]

Yeah.

[Julian]

I don't know.

[Rory]

I'm not mad at it. I love.

[Maul]

I like it.

[Julian]

Out the gate.

[Maul]

I like it.

[Julian]

I want. I want to hear Usher and burn a boy. Yeah, the intro.

[Maul]

Yeah.

[Rory]

June Cook on there, too. That's the star. That BTS group.

[Damaris]

Oh, they want to.

[Rory]

That's about to go up that BTS records.

[Damaris]

I feel like 14, 15, and 16. Just because I know Usher albums so well. I love you, Please. You and luckiest man gonna be the best run on the album. Yeah, I know it already because, like, I love Usher music so much. I know that's what's up.

[Maul]

Nah. Room in a room in a room. What's room in a room? Usher. What you talking about?

[Julian]

Margiela might be a sneaky record.

[Maul]

Like, what's a shitty name?

[Julian]

But it might be a great song.

[Rory]

Kissing Stranger is gonna have a line or two.

[Damaris]

Oh, that's gonna be a bop.

[Maul]

Kissing Stranger's mono.

[Damaris]

That's gonna be a bop.

[Julian]

I thought that was mono.

[Maul]

Mono. That's going to be a monotone record.

[Rory]

Some cold stone. Cold freak.

[Maul]

I know a stone I should get.

[Damaris]

The cold is spelled with a K. Just please.

[Maul]

Yeah, she's a Kappa.

[Julian]

Don't make true. I just hope this isn't like that one Usher record where it was all future beats. No, that album was so bad.

[Damaris]

No, I know, I know. Are you talking about.

[Maul]

Oh, he got.

[Julian]

No, that record is going to be that. I might go to that first.

[Maul]

Who produced if Tricky produced that?

[Rory]

Was it hard love 2?

[Julian]

I saw D mile out of like 3 or 4 that he posted that he produced. So that. That makes me feel great.

[Maul]

We need a new dream album, too.

[Julian]

Listen.

[Maul]

We need a new dream album.

[Rory]

Yo. It's classics. I know it's not in the threshold. We were talking like 2020 now. But I was listening to PND1 just PND. There's no mistakes on that. It is so.

[Julian]

Or PND too. They're both. They're both flawless.

[Maul]

Candy 2 is the one, though.

[Julian]

It's my favorite.

[Rory]

It's. They're so.

[Maul]

PND2 is the one.

[Damaris]

She gets her way on PND2. Okay.

[Rory]

PND2 is better. But the original, I mean, he set it off great.

[Damaris]

Somebody had the idea on Twitter. I love Twitter and their ideas. Somebody had the idea on Twitter that one Usher performs Bad Girl. You know how that. He used to have Beyonce come out like a couple times. He should have Victoria Monet come out. And I was like, dog. I mean, I might actually.

[Julian]

She can dance.

[Damaris]

I would die. I would literally fall into the floor.

[Julian]

She'd be great for it. I don't know. For super bowl, though. I think I'd like the tour on certain dates. I just don't know if they're like. Whole world knows.

[Damaris]

But it's not about. It's.

[Julian]

But she was just a dancer.

[Damaris]

Yeah. It was never just about. It was never about her being a performer. It's about her being the dancer, I think.

[Julian]

But it was also because it was Beyonce dancing.

[Rory]

Yeah.

[Julian]

Like, that was a thing. No.

[Maul]

Yeah.

[Julian]

I don't think people thought it was just a dancer.

[Maul]

No.

[Julian]

It's like that. You know, that girl.

[Damaris]

Well, sometimes it would be a dancer, and then like, maybe once or twice it was Beyonce.

[Julian]

I actually think he might bring people out. I don't think he's gonna reon on this one. I. I think we'll get some surprises.

[Maul]

This is gonna be an Atlanta party for sure.

[Rory]

Yeah.

[Damaris]

Jermaine Dupree's coming out.

[Rory]

I hope Little John pops out.

[Maul]

Yeah, I think he's definitely bringing Little John up.

[Rory]

For sure.

[Maul]

The whites love Little John.

[Damaris]

If. If Lil John and Lil Chris come out for a year.

[Julian]

Yo, there. There's been one Actual time, I was really mad at Maul for not inviting me somewhere. We were in Vegas for, like, a night, and Maul went to the Little John residency.

[Damaris]

Oh, he's up for that.

[Julian]

And granted, wow. In his defense, I was asleep, like, before they even went over there. But I was so mad that next morning that I did not go to that Little John residency.

[Maul]

Yeah, I had to see that. He killed that. I'm like, yo, this is Little John turning up this entire party dj. Like, that was crazy.

[Rory]

Speaking of Little John, did you guys see this? He's releasing a guided meditation album.

[Julian]

Great.

[Maul]

I'm in.

[Julian]

Yeah, I'm here.

[Maul]

I'm in for it.

[Damaris]

That's how mall should wake up in the morning.

[Julian]

People get him. Like, he's a real producer and musician. Like, yeah, he's a goat. I'm sure it's gonna be about it.

[Damaris]

Oh, yeah, the tweets were hilarious.

[Rory]

They were like, breathe in, bend over.

[Maul]

To the floor like that.

[Rory]

Breathe out. Touch your toes.

[Maul]

Need that.

[Julian]

Ah, skeet, skeet, skeet.

[Rory]

Yeah.

[Maul]

Now ski, ski, ski, skeet, skeet.

[Rory]

I mean, that is the ultimate meditation.

[Julian]

What's. What's that, like, erotic massage called?

[Damaris]

Erotic massage?

[Julian]

No, but. No, it's a real. It starts with a tantric tantra. I would definitely need the Little John tantra Oscar project.

[Damaris]

Have you ever had tick sex?

[Julian]

One time, yeah.

[Rory]

What. What do they. They stretch you and oil you. What do you do?

[Damaris]

They stretch you and oil you. Look at him.

[Julian]

They. They could make you nut without, like, touching your dick of how good they are at.

[Rory]

They stared at it hard.

[Julian]

It's not like, Grant. I've never done the rub and tug thing, but I just don't think it's like this. This is a real professional like. Like, that knows sexual pressure points. Yeah, it's kind of wild. Oh, I actually, yeah, I think people should do it.

[Maul]

Like, massage me until I come, more or less.

[Rory]

Yeah, but without touching your dick.

[Julian]

I mean, they. They do touch, but no.

[Rory]

Oh, they do touch your dick.

[Julian]

But like, you. It's a different type of orgasm. It's not like someone just beating your meat and you nut. It's more of a mind or a very connected thing. And it's supposed to heal sexual trauma as well. Like, it's a. It's a thing that people use for real.

[Damaris]

And you can have tantric sex with your partner too.

[Rory]

Can you go somewhere to do it? Like, it sounds like you need a professional, not just like a. With oily hands.

[Damaris]

It's more.

[Julian]

I would highly suggest going to A professional and not just a girl with baby oil. Like, but you can beat you off.

[Damaris]

It's more. It's not like.

[Rory]

I mean, I'm thinking it sounds like a process. Like, it seems like.

[Julian]

No, it is. It's like a good hour and a half thing.

[Maul]

Damn. Yeah. Don't rub me for an hour and a half and make me come and then expect me to just get up and leave. No, we go together now.

[Rory]

Yeah, like an hour and a half. If someone plays.

[Maul]

I'll be outside when you get off, lady, you can get in the car.

[Julian]

So I know you're half joking, but at the end of it, I was a little like, I know this was a service.

[Maul]

Yeah. Like, I'm never gonna see you, but, like, that.

[Julian]

You are my soul.

[Maul]

Yeah.

[Rory]

Like, you do that in New York.

[Julian]

Yeah.

[Damaris]

Do you have the name?

[Rory]

Can you share it? I want to go.

[Julian]

This was 20.

[Maul]

I just feel like getting that in New York and then walking outside to, like, noisy taxis, blowing horns is just like. It's like, what was the point?

[Damaris]

That's how I feel about massages in New York. I hate getting massages.

[Maul]

Yeah. It's like now I'm back outside and I gotta get on the train and.

[Damaris]

I'm oily and now.

[Julian]

Oh, no, no. It was like I took a shower after with her. You had to get all the off.

[Damaris]

Yeah, the nut.

[Julian]

No, more so like all the oil and they oil your whole.

[Rory]

It's not just your dick, but it's.

[Julian]

Not like baby oil. It's like real aromas.

[Damaris]

Yeah.

[Julian]

It's supposed to heal sexual trauma. That's why I did it. And I know you guys can make your jokes.

[Rory]

Did it work?

[Julian]

Haha. Not funny anymore.

[Rory]

Did it work?

[Julian]

I think so. I think it helped. Yeah.

[Rory]

How many times you got it right.

[Julian]

No, I didn't cry. You only did it to be quite honest.

[Damaris]

Don't laugh. Don't laugh at you.

[Maul]

I'm not laughing at Rory. I'm laughing.

[Julian]

No, it's not like they talk about sexual trauma. It's something that if you go through the, like, list of things that can help you outside of, like, therapy, from a physical touch standpoint. This is a method. I'm not saying.

[Maul]

No, no, I know it's anything I'm saying. Crying after you come is crazy.

[Rory]

Were you blindfolded? No, because in my. This is.

[Damaris]

In your fantasies, you're blindfolded.

[Rory]

Bad. Sorry, Rory. I'm gonna make this joke, though. In my mind, it's immersion therapy where they blindfold Rory. They have the woman come in and he starts. She starts a massage. And then when he. As soon as he comes and by the time he takes off the blindfolds and sees, it's Father O'Malley.

[Damaris]

Some is just not see.

[Maul]

You need to be canceled for that.

[Rory]

Sometimes it's immersion therapy, because now the association is like. That was tantric. It was beautiful. But it's the guy that.

[Maul]

It was Father O'Neill.

[Julian]

They called a priest.

[Maul]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Rory]

Not just any priest.

[Maul]

The priest. The priest of all priests, though I.

[Julian]

Did, like, I went into it with good intentions of why I researched it, but then I did feel a little shallow because it was like. Like, she's also kind of bad. Like, what intentions am I really doing here?

[Maul]

Yeah, she. No.

[Damaris]

Oh, she was fired.

[Maul]

Yeah.

[Julian]

She wasn't like, fire. Fire, but she was. She was very cute.

[Rory]

Are they expensive?

[Julian]

I think it was 500.

[Rory]

Yeah. Damn. It's an expensive nut.

[Maul]

I'm cool.

[Julian]

It's not about, like.

[Damaris]

It's not.

[Julian]

I'm telling you, it's not really about that.

[Damaris]

Like, yeah, it's about healing his body and how he handles being touched.

[Rory]

Like, if you didn't come, would you want your money back? I would.

[Julian]

I don't know, because I didn't know. It was the first time in my life that I nutted and, like, you know, you can feel when you're about to nut.

[Maul]

I hope so.

[Julian]

I just, like, nutted. It was weird.

[Damaris]

Oh, you didn't, like, at the.

[Julian]

Like, it was. She knew what she was doing at the end of the massage. I knitted and, like, didn't realize it.

[Damaris]

What pressure point she at? I need to ask.

[Julian]

I. I'm telling you, you're kind of lost in the whole thing. I don't even remember what position.

[Rory]

Damn.

[Julian]

We were, like, holding each other.

[Rory]

She milked you.

[Damaris]

Really? Y'all were, like, holding each other.

[Julian]

Look what the tantric massage is on.

[Damaris]

Oh, that's so beautiful.

[Julian]

Laugh away.

[Damaris]

Did you get it out?

[Julian]

If I wasn't in a relationship, I'd go get another one.

[Maul]

Julia said, yo, she milked you.

[Julian]

Milk that trauma out.

[Damaris]

Did she get it? Like, did you get some on her?

[Julian]

I don't know.

[Damaris]

I. I'm telling you, they were holding each other. She's a massage therapist. I'd like to know if the massage therapist. My bad. Yes. Tantric. They're, like, face to face, right?

[Maul]

Oh, yeah.

[Julian]

For a lot of it. Face. But you're also on your back. There's also, like, regular massage part of it. It's a. It's a whole hour and a half experience.

[Damaris]

Yeah.

[Julian]

I don't really know where.

[Maul]

Did she make it, too?

[Rory]

Yeah, that's fire. Wait, okay, can we do this? Patreon?

[Maul]

That wasn't.

[Damaris]

Be horny, not release.

[Rory]

I mean, if there's a hot woman oiled up, I'm probably. You had. You were hard while she was jerking you off.

[Julian]

I don't know if she, like, really jerked me off ever. I'm telling you, you're in a different mode.

[Rory]

Okay?

[Julian]

I know you can make your jokes about it because it's funny. I'm really just trying to answer y'all honestly.

[Rory]

Fantasy of this. My. What I'm picturing is far different than probably how it went in my mind. You're just.

[Julian]

There's another. There's another version of this that you can, like, do with your partner that is extremely sexual. I'm telling you, the massage that we had, even though. I know it's gonna sound nuts, even though I came and we were both naked, there was nothing sexual about it. I know that sounds.

[Damaris]

I get what you're saying.

[Julian]

There was nothing sexual about it.

[Rory]

Did she straight.

[Maul]

So this is like. This is like when the dudes be on IG mass massaging the girls, and they're like, yo, that's sexual.

[Rory]

Oh, like, we're in Jamaica, and they're like, do this to the ass 100 times.

[Damaris]

That didn't feel sexual when I got that done.

[Julian]

The mud.

[Rory]

Oh, you did that?

[Damaris]

The mud? Yeah, I got the mud done in Jamaica. That didn't feel sexual. He was actually very respectful.

[Julian]

That one girl ruined that mud for all women when she was in the paper with a plastic bag.

[Rory]

Yeah, that was.

[Julian]

Now every time we see a girl get a mud massage, we're like, oh, she's about to get with a plastic bag.

[Maul]

No, I don't think.

[Rory]

Just don't use a condom.

[Maul]

That one girl is just a nasty.

[Julian]

Yeah. At that point. Don't use.

[Rory]

Just don't use a condom.

[Maul]

Thank you for shopping bag on your dick.

[Damaris]

That was so.

[Julian]

And who has that on a raft? How do you not have a condom but have that on a raft in Jamaica?

[Maul]

No, I think that's what the limestone was in. It's limestone, right, that they use.

[Julian]

Did it feel good, that mud massage?

[Damaris]

It did feel good. It did. He. He. I didn't want to say he. He worked me out, but he. He did a very good job. It was dark, though, so we got there so late, the mosquitoes started biting me in the places where the mud wasn't. But, yeah, it was. It Was a good massage. I didn't. I didn't mind getting my ass rubbed with some mud. My skin felt great after.

[Maul]

That's what's up.

[Rory]

I never got a happy ending. I've always wanted to try it.

[Julian]

I think I'm too silly for that.

[Rory]

That's kind of.

[Julian]

I would, like. I would, like, laugh. It's just like some.

[Maul]

You got. A happy tantric is a happy ending, but fair.

[Julian]

But I'm saying, like, going to just some rubbing tug spa and you just get a massage and they're like, turn over. Like, I would laugh.

[Maul]

Yeah. What else?

[Julian]

Like, just jerk me off. What?

[Maul]

Yeah, you don't have to. You don't have to cover it up with the massage. Like, you can just get straight to it.

[Julian]

I. I'll jerk myself off.

[Maul]

I don't need to.

[Julian]

I'll go to a real masseuse. But I encourage people to try the tantric. Even if they do want to do in a sexual way with their partner or whatever. It was a cool experience.

[Damaris]

Yeah, I want to do it with my partner. I had to get a partner, but I want to do it with my partner. I've always wanted, too.

[Rory]

I think, well, you can do.

[Julian]

I think there's, like, classes and that you can do, like, with clothes on and then take it back to your spot. Like, a teacher will show y'all.

[Damaris]

Okay, I'm gonna try it.

[Rory]

Ma, would you do that tantric massage?

[Maul]

No.

[Rory]

No.

[Damaris]

Would you do it with your partner?

[Maul]

I'm. I'm horny. We gonna just start like.

[Damaris]

It's about having a connection deeper than using sex to find a deeper connection.

[Rory]

Call that a deep tissue massage.

[Maul]

Yeah.

[Julian]

Well, how about y'all? And then, like, before round two. Try that to get to round two now, because after.

[Rory]

I know I don't want to do a lot of stretching.

[Damaris]

And I think y'all are afraid of the vulnerability aspect of it all.

[Maul]

I want to do it, and I just. I'm open to massage me. We can massage each other, but we gonna too.

[Damaris]

Yes, you're gonna. In actually, in tantric sex, like, when you're having it with your partner, there is involved, but it's.

[Maul]

I'll do that.

[Damaris]

Yeah, it's. It's not just to nut. It's like an intentional. There's a lot of breath work.

[Julian]

Paul has only nutted. He's never orgasmed. He's never just felt like love when it had. When it happened.

[Maul]

That was gay. How do you know I never orgasm?

[Julian]

Because you've never had a girlfriend.

[Maul]

That's not true.

[Julian]

You just nutted on ass cheeks and stomachs and mouths.

[Maul]

Yeah. Oh, yeah.

[Rory]

Oh, speaking of, I'm not gonna say this.

[Damaris]

Thank you.

[Rory]

No, I'll say it. A girl told me my nut tasted good, and I thought of you guys.

[Maul]

Yo, we got. We got voicemails.

[Rory]

Oh, all right.

[Maul]

She's getting just some voicemails. If we were talking about diet vegan, you got mail.

[Julian]

You offended Loyon. Even Loyan is over there.

[Damaris]

El Loyan is disgusted.

[Rory]

Well, this voicemail is not gonna help because we started with Drake and then we ended on this conversation. So I figured let's keep the sexual energy up.

[Maul]

Yo, what up, gang? Rory, Raymond. The marriage Big. Yo, Julian. Hope this message finds y'all in good, healthy. I keep prospering. I'm trying to make y'all laugh, man. My name is Joey Cucamonga. I'm a Queen's native entertainer. Stand up music. I'm trying to work on my too with the potting, but what's your real name? Different story.

[Rory]

Cucamonga.

[Maul]

I got a quick question for y'all. Do you think that the amount of times that you have watched someone else fuck, meaning that it was porn on Twitter, a website. You know, you seeing it in a movie that you wanted to put on, but you actually suck. Pause. But you actually seeked.

[Rory]

How do you.

[Maul]

How do you say it?

[Rory]

Sought out.

[Maul]

You were actively. Your intent was to look for the porn. Do you think that that outweighs the amount of times that you've actually had that sex?

[Damaris]

Yes. In reality, it's an obvious question.

[Maul]

Be real, though. Like, that crushed your screen, whether it was to masturbate or you was just looking into it for the art, you know what I'm saying? You think that the amount of times.

[Rory]

The New Bill films watched sex outweighs.

[Maul]

The amount of times you actually done in reality?

[Damaris]

Yes.

[Maul]

You'll find me on.

[Damaris]

Not gonna happen.

[Maul]

Yeah, sought out.

[Julian]

Like, got on my computer to watch.

[Rory]

Porn with the Internet or just, like, in passing?

[Julian]

Yeah, in passing. Unfair. Because, like.

[Damaris]

No, he says sought out.

[Julian]

Yeah, that was the in passing. I think everyone on Earth, we just see porn the moment you open a screen.

[Maul]

But, yeah, so I sought out.

[Julian]

Not. I. I don't know if I've watched more porn than I've.

[Maul]

Yeah, I don't know if I have.

[Damaris]

What if you're a measure of hours?

[Rory]

Man, I don't watch.

[Maul]

Watch porn for hours.

[Rory]

Well, it's more like 30.

[Damaris]

I'm talking about measuring hours over time. Over all of your 50.

[Maul]

Yeah. No, I think I'VE I think I've had more sex than I've watched porn for. Sure. Yeah, I think so.

[Damaris]

No, maybe it's because I'm a girl. Actually more porn for me if we were to.

[Rory]

Because I watch porn obviously more than I've had sex. But if you were to total the time. Jerking off only takes like 30 seconds. Is hours.

[Damaris]

Click pumper over there.

[Rory]

So I know how I know what I like. But like incrementally. If you were to add time, hours, you for a while.

[Julian]

She wasn't familiar with your game. I'm sorry.

[Damaris]

No, you're not. For hours. If you her for 10 minutes, go to sleep, wake up, and then her for another 10 minutes. You didn't for hours.

[Rory]

Why are you. Damn. All right, visceral over here. I have for hours or an hour or so clocked it. Whatever. Who he was made of might have like, you know, sometimes you just hit the right stride. But I'm saying if you take that time, like if I say for a half hour, Damaris, I would have to jerk off like 40, 50 times to fill that. You know what I mean? That's a lot of jerking off. Because I jerk off, it takes like a minute, minute and a half.

[Maul]

If a train left Seattle and then.

[Julian]

A train at 60 mph, the train solve for X.

[Maul]

What time. What time do they arrive in California?

[Julian]

I guess I kind of see what you're saying because. You know what I mean, I. I have sex longer than I would watch.

[Rory]

Porn and jerk off because say jerking off on average is a minute. Just say that's and say you on average 10 minutes. So you'd have to jerk off 10 times to equal one. That's a 10 to 1 ratio.

[Maul]

But I thought he said just watch, not like.

[Rory]

But in time totality, time wise, like watching. I'm not watching after I know I'm not watching the rest of the porn. I don't care if they fall in love. Yeah, I don't need to see the kiss around the floor.

[Julian]

I'm typically invested in the story, but.

[Maul]

You know, that's some psycho killers.

[Damaris]

So. Yeah. You guys usually watch porn for like a minute?

[Rory]

If I want. It depends on how many movie, live movies, how many.

[Julian]

Probably spend more time looking for the video.

[Rory]

Same.

[Julian]

Watching the video.

[Damaris]

Same.

[Julian]

So I don't know if that counts in what. What his rules are in this whole thing. But yeah, if you add in the time to looking for one, I'm just indecisive. I'm still on the side that I more than I watch Porn.

[Maul]

Yeah, I definitely. I think I've had more sex than I've watched.

[Julian]

It's also a sick thought to have. Yeah.

[Maul]

I'm about to say why? How did he come up with that question? Like, that's.

[Rory]

His last name is Cucamonga, so.

[Damaris]

Cracker Killers.

[Maul]

Oh, that's natural.

[Julian]

Okay, next Friday.

[Maul]

I get it.

[Rory]

Yeah.

[Julian]

Michael Rappaport said that.

[Damaris]

He did.

[Julian]

He was. He was the.

[Maul]

He was the mailman.

[Julian]

Yeah, it was the mailman.

[Maul]

You just caught that?

[Damaris]

Yeah, I did. Wow.

[Maul]

Is he canceled? Canceled?

[Julian]

No, he's. He's gonna be president. He's the opposite of Kansas. He made a choice. He is gonna be the next Brad Pitt.

[Maul]

He is.

[Julian]

He'll be an a lister by 2025.

[Maul]

Yeah, for sure.

[Julian]

Without question.

[Rory]

Michael rapping for it.

[Julian]

Yes.

[Maul]

After saying what he said, he went.

[Julian]

To Israel to do IG Live. He's gonna own a studio.

[Rory]

He's like the Sean King of Israel.

[Damaris]

Oh, my God. That is him.

[Julian]

Like, rap legend is on, right?

[Rory]

What are you, one of those entertainer guys?

[Maul]

Huh?

[Julian]

What do you play sports?

[Maul]

What do you play for? I play for the C. The Cracker Killers. You won't take.

[Rory]

Hey, don't want any trouble with you.

[Maul]

You don't have to send your posse out here to do a 187 in my ass. 187 in my head.

[Damaris]

I never noticed that was him.

[Julian]

I love giving Mike Rappaport as of late, but he does have an incredible catalog of.

[Damaris]

He's hilarious.

[Maul]

The most random.

[Julian]

He's hilarious.

[Rory]

Yeah. He does have a good. Just filmography.

[Damaris]

That's funny.

[Julian]

Yeah. I was sad when we ran into him when we were first starting at wtf.

[Damaris]

You laughed in his face.

[Julian]

No, that was a. Oh, that was a fire. I introduced myself to Michael Rappaport as a fan. Like.

[Damaris]

Yeah.

[Julian]

I humbled myself to say hi to Michael Rappaport. Yeah, we exchanged numbers, and he was gonna come on the pod, but, you know, he chose a side with. With management, so. Yeah, he couldn't come on our pod anymore. Yeah, but he was. He was gonna be our first guest.

[Rory]

Does he know you're 3% at that time?

[Julian]

No, but his manager is 100, so that outweighed everything.

[Rory]

Yeah, but, you know, got you by a nose.

[Julian]

I mean, things work out for what they are because I think we're just on different sides of how we see the world right now. But, yeah, respect to everything Michael Rapport has done in his actual career. Do we have one more voicemail? That'd be cool.

[Rory]

Let's do the next on Patreon. We're cool.

[Julian]

We're over two hours.

[Damaris]

Yeah.

[Rory]

Yeah.

[Julian]

Come out the game. That weird question, but thank you was an interesting one.

[Maul]

And if you're in D.C. march 23, we will be at the Howard Theater. Get your tickets now. Newroarimal.com subscribe to the Patreon Merch is available. And yeah, let's take another call on Patreon.

[Rory]

All right, bye.

[Maul]

Peace.

[Damaris]

No worrying now.