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Rory
Washington, D.C. dMV area. Maryland, Virginia. I feel like they could add in a few. West Virginia. Yeah, that's close by.
Mal
Yeah. Arlington, Maine. You know, Arlington is right. Right outside of D.C. yeah. Like D.C. virginia. Yeah, I get it.
Rory
Government employees, people that went to HBCUs. We will be at Howard Theater on March 23rd, right?
Mal
Yep.
Rory
March 23rd. Tickets available now newroariamal.com we cannot wait to see the DMV area. One of my favorite areas on earth based on college mall is a different experience going down 95 south. But we won't get into that. Buy your tickets. We'll reminisce together on stage.
Mal
See you there. No warrior.
Damaris
Now we from the south where we.
Mal
Learned all about stash and when prone to shoot first and run their mouth last. And if you run your mouth, you going outside whole click. Getting sleep lid on you a mouse pad. I'm the one in fear on the low ski. Heard her talking like we pissed. Even the sneaker thing.
Rory
I was on social media last night. Very interesting. As you see black support eroding from Joe Biden. True. This is connecting with black America because they love sneakers. They're into sneakers.
Mal
They love the.
Rory
You know, this is a big deal.
Mal
Certainly in the inner city. So when you have Trump roll out his sneaker line, they're like, wait a minute, this. This is cool.
Rory
He's reaching them on a level that defies and is above politics, the culture, always above healthy politics.
Damaris
Ma, you have a lot of sneakers.
Mal
Yeah, actually, I'm getting. I'm close to actually getting those.
Rory
So do you feel seen now that Trump.
Mal
I do feel like, you know, Trump is starting to understand me a little more. Just me in particular. I think that he's basing this whole campaign around trying to get my vote. And he's pretty close. He's pretty close.
Rory
And when I think of the inner city vote, the only thing I do think of is sneakers. Yeah, like, that's the only way to get it.
Mal
Well, if you've been to any voting poll, I mean, 90 of the people are wearing sneakers. I don't know if you know that or not.
Rory
So what are the other 10% wear?
Mal
Maybe shoes.
Rory
Okay.
Mal
Yeah. But most people go to the poll in sneakers.
Rory
Every time I start to just agree just a tiny bit with Republicans, they come right back to who they truly are.
Mal
Yeah.
Rory
This was like, every single time I'm like, hmm, that might be an interesting point that they finally made. They go right back to this.
Mal
Well, I mean. Well, to be fair, we do love sneakers.
Damaris
He's not wrong.
Mal
He's not wrong about that. Black people do love sneakers.
Damaris
I found this refreshing.
Rory
Okay, if you look into sneaker culture, we're around the corner from one of those big sneaker spots that has the line, yeah, white kids. What is the race of people that are waiting in that line that are paying $400 for these exclusive sneakers?
Mal
I didn't say black people were stupid to stand outside for sneakers. I said, we love.
Rory
But that's what they said. If they pay $400, that means you're gonna vote.
Mal
They said, black people love sneakers. That is true. Black people do love sneakers.
Damaris
But he did go on to Roy's point. He went on to then say, the woman asks, okay, will this convert to people actually showing up to the polls? And he said, if you're spending $400 on sneakers, you bet they will.
Mal
I don't know about that, but you.
Rory
Feel like this is culture over politics. Like he's actually speaking to the people and what the people need and what they want. This goes beyond that politic bullshit that people, you know, want.
Mal
You know, this is from our president. This.
Rory
He's speaking directly to us as citizens.
Mal
Yeah, this is. This is culture.
Rory
The needs.
Mal
This is sneaker culture. This is a different type of demo that he's attacking right now with these.
Rory
I mean, If I owe 300 January 6th, 350 million as of last week, I might sell some 400 sneakers as well.
Mal
Are you gonna have to sell? Because I only think it was what, how many Pill. It wasn't a lot.
Damaris
I don't know how many.
Mal
It was only like 300 pairs, something like that.
Rory
Maybe he followed the supreme blueprint.
Mal
Yeah, they're going to do it. They're going to do another restock. They got to restock them.
Rory
Nah, they got to do the resale.
Mal
Nah, restock them. They're going to go crazy. People are going to buy it. This is like when Lavar Ball came out with the big Baller brand.
Rory
Same thing.
Mal
This is the same model, same. Same business plan, same blueprint. Make a low number, same delivery, demand a high, and people go crazy for them.
Rory
The Ball family and the Trump family do have a lot of similarities.
Mal
Now that I think, honestly, I didn't do the knowledge on that yet. But, I mean, you know, I'm gonna.
Rory
Take your word for kids, a white wife.
Mal
That's, that's, that's all I gotta stop right there. White, white family. Yeah. Like, that's just.
Rory
They all, in America, they're all like, they're all in the same field?
Mal
Yeah.
Rory
You know.
Damaris
Yeah.
Rory
Basketball, politics. It's the same thing.
Mal
What comes into basketball?
Rory
Well, I mean, if you see the high tops, of course.
Damaris
Oh, call me oldfashioned, but I like this clip. It reminded me of. In a world where everything is so PC and safe, it's nice that Fox still sticks to their guns. It's like, this is. Black people love shoes. Just. That's great. It's nice to know that they're still them.
Mal
That they. Yeah, just stop it right there. Black people love.
Damaris
They love shoes and forget about everything else.
Mal
We love just. We love Sneak.
Damaris
Commercial break. He comes back in blackface and doubles down.
Mal
Exactly.
Rory
Yeah. To your point. It. It was a warming feeling. This was like before COVID Before. Like, the whole circus happened.
Damaris
Yeah.
Rory
Everyone kind of just knew where everyone stood. Republicans were fucking assholes, Democrats were fucking liars. Yeah. Just say, say how you feel. No more of the. The fog of what we don't really know. How. Where you stand. Thank you, Fox News, for bringing us back to a time, a simpler time, when we knew you guys were just racist assholes.
Mal
I like my racism like a buffet. Just lay it out and just let me choose which one I want. Like, lay it out right there. Don't hide it in the back.
Rory
Yeah.
Mal
You know what I mean? Don't do that. Like, give it to me right there on the cart. And let me say, okay, this is the racism I'm going to choose to deal with.
Rory
You'll take the affirmative action, but, you know, please leave Jim Crow. Yeah, I'm.
Mal
Put it all out there. Don't hide it. Let's deal with it. Let's get right to it.
Rory
Said something. Damaris. I thought it was a great comparison.
Damaris
Say it. What'd you say?
Rory
No, you're lucky I didn't compare those to food groups at the buffet. Then we really could have went crazy. Anyways, we had our first cyber attack from China. All my AT&T.
Mal
First one or the latest first one.
Rory
Of this election year.
Mal
Okay, there you go. That's better.
Rory
Because I haven't turned the news on yet, but we're recording this on Thursday morning. And all AT&T people, we had SOS on our phones. I'm sure the news is blaming it on China. No. Or is this Iran?
Mal
I have. I have, and I see SOS on my phone. Ukraine, depending on where I'm at, it happens. So I didn't. I didn't take much. It didn't, like, bother me or affect me much. I see sos often when I'm like uptown and so.
Rory
Well, all AT&T users had sos this morning, myself included.
Mal
Okay.
Rory
It was a very stressful time. I kept turning my phone on and off. I even used the transit WI fi on the train today.
Damaris
Oh, Jesus.
Mal
Yeah.
Julian
I didn't even know it worked.
Damaris
They got. They got all their data.
Rory
It worked pretty well. I'm sure they were. I'm sure Eric Adams was recording my phone. Whatever I was looking up.
Mal
But you know, one thing I can't do, and no matter how many times I try to do it, I can never connect to WI FI on the flight.
Rory
Really?
Mal
Never.
Damaris
Really?
Julian
That also makes it really hard.
Mal
I just stopped. I just stopped. I stopped trying.
Damaris
Well, you know the best way to do it? Do you got to go through the app? Because if you try to just do it through the web browser, it can be a little glitchy. But if you just go through the, like, Delta app, it's better.
Julian
And you have to hit forget. Forget this device. Device.
Damaris
Yeah, you gotta like, go in cold.
Julian
Or else it won't. You won't get the notification.
Mal
Yeah, I just, like, go to sleep. Like, I try it and then I'm just like, I. Fuck it. I'm going to sleep. Man. Fuck this shit.
Rory
I dropped my phone in the little seat thingy where, like, you have to get like the mechanical people to come.
Mal
To lift the seat out, take the whole chair out.
Rory
Did it before take off in L. A?
Damaris
Stop this plane.
Mal
Yeah, take my seat apart. I need my phone.
Damaris
No pilot, come over here.
Rory
What was fucked up was, of course when I'm traveling with. With a baby Reddit bingo card, they had to like, take my seat cushion out. So we were delayed based off just my seat, and no one really knows that but me. So the whole plane sees me standing up with a crying baby while we're delayed with no context. So they think I'm just being like, a dick. We're waiting on maintenance to come actually change my seat. That happens. Finally get Amara down. Calm down. I'm feel so ashamed. I feel like that guy while I'm trying to get shit in order in the new seat, drop my phone. Six hour flight, no phone, with a baby on my chest.
Mal
How do you drop your phone, though? Like this.
Rory
It's a big ass child in mind.
Mal
But there's like a big, like almost is almost the size of this table.
Rory
They must have not, like, put the new seat back in correctly. There was edges and the phone went under the seat.
Damaris
For those wondering what seats they're talking about, they're talking about delta seats.
Rory
I was on your seats. Well, yeah, the lay back seats. If you. If you drop your phone, you're really. They have. Yeah, they have to, like, take the seat up.
Mal
Oh, I just like, lay it all the way down and just go underneath it and grab my phone.
Rory
Oh, I tried. It didn't work.
Mal
Oh.
Rory
At midnight in Newark, they had to take my seat up.
Damaris
Speaking of airplane, did you guys see the. There were flights that were. We had a really good tailwind on rail and ice flying the way back.
Rory
Oh, yeah? Were you monitoring it?
Mal
Yeah.
Rory
Tell us about the tail. Tell us about the tailwind, Julian.
Mal
Were your bangs, like, flying to the back of your head or something? Like, how do you know you have a good tailwind? What the fuck is he talking about?
Rory
You probably use knots instead of miles per hour.
Mal
Like that car.
Rory
That car is going 20 knots.
Mal
We had a good tailwind. Got us into Newark an hour and a half earlier than we were supposed to. Caught a good trail about this. The fuck are you talking about?
Rory
So when we took off, it's south by southwest.
Damaris
Good morning.
Mal
Yeah.
Damaris
Yeah.
Rory
We had a cold wind from.
Damaris
We were like. We were going 750 miles an hour. So for those who don't know, airplanes usually travel.
Mal
How do you know that? Because.
Damaris
Well, it says it on the screen. Yeah.
Mal
Oh, you're one of those people.
Damaris
Like you said, I woke up from a nap. I want to see how far we were. I.
Mal
Okay. Yeah, yeah.
Rory
You were not going 750 miles.
Damaris
Ral. Ral was there. He was on the same flight.
Rory
And is a screen on. Can the people on. On YouTube see the screen we're seeing?
Damaris
No, so. Well, they. They can, but. So this is the problem. The.
Mal
This.
Damaris
The speed of sound or whatever the. I'm gonna go ahead. Kill me.
Mal
Yeah.
Damaris
Is 800 or some odd miles an hour. Some planes, and this was happening over the weekend, were getting pushed at over 800 miles an hour, thus creating, like, this horrible, like, turbulence. We were in the sweet spot. We were like 50, 60 degrees, like, slower miles per hour slower. So it was. We were like, coast and we landed about an hour early. And our pilot came on and said, hey, we have a very good tailwind. We're getting wind. We're getting speeds 250 miles an hour faster than usual. We're coasting. We're going to land early. But then I saw these clips, like, the night that we landed, I was like, holy shit. If we were going like 50 miles an hour faster, we would be because the plane Was like, this is horrible. It was terrifying.
Rory
So I read that two planes were in this jet stream. So you were one of the two.
Damaris
No, we were in a safer one. Okay, slower.
Mal
Thank God.
Damaris
Thank God.
Rory
So did you feel the difference or.
Damaris
It felt like we were going faster, but it wasn't like this. It wasn't like 911 you felt like.
Mal
When you like.
Rory
I feel like 911 was probably a pretty smooth ride. It was pretty clear that day. Like, I don't think there was much turbulence.
Damaris
There was one turbulence.
Julian
Turbulent.
Mal
One turbulent.
Rory
Like once.
Damaris
Once they picked up the spare, once.
Rory
The fellas took over the cockpit, like, I, you know, I'm sure it was.
Mal
A pretty smooth ride right up until that point. That's when things got a little shaky after that.
Rory
And you got to think like the landing still pretty smooth.
Mal
I don't know what landing we're talking about right now. So I'm just like two for two.
Rory
Well, three for three, four for four. Three for four. Three for four.
Mal
Alleged.
Damaris
You guys see there's all this new footage of 911 coming out still?
Mal
Yeah.
Damaris
And I read and I was out of Google. I was looking into it. I was like, why? And I guess federal cases or cases of that magnitude, the files and videos are locked up for I think the 20 or 25 years. And then once the public domain, they can go release. So there's all this new archival footage coming out from 911 that happened crazy angles. Like yesterday I was like, holy.
Rory
That happened with the JFK files to it.
Damaris
Yeah.
Rory
Whatever. The amount of time that they put on locked files.
Mal
Are they going to show another angle to you in.
Damaris
It's. That's the fun. It's all angles of just the two towers. They're not showing anything else.
Mal
I want them to show the other angle to you.
Rory
I mean, the Pentagon.
Mal
Oh yeah, the Pentagon.
Damaris
Yeah.
Mal
Not the UN depending on.
Damaris
It's the bomb that went off.
Mal
Why we can't see another angle of that? Well, just give me one more angle.
Rory
Then you'd see a United States issued missile going.
Damaris
No, it's a Hamas missile, Rory.
Rory
Yeah, at least we could hide behind American Airlines with the World Trade center.
Mal
They just show us every day how stupid they think we are.
Rory
But no, I think that's cool that you guys went 750 miles per hour.
Mal
Yeah. I'm glad you got.
Rory
Was the WI FI spotty.
Damaris
I was really hoping Rel would like back me up because it was. It was true.
Mal
I'm. No, I'm just glad you got home early.
Damaris
Text proof from my. To my mom on the flight, I text. My mom's like, hey, we're go. We're about an hour ahead of time. The pilot just said, we're going 750 miles an hour. I have text. Like, I have.
Rory
That would work in court for sure.
Mal
You text your mom while you're on.
Damaris
The flight that she was like, how's the flight actually ahead of time? It's very nice.
Mal
Hey, Ma, Caught a good tailwind. Yes. Be home soon.
Rory
There was a nasty nor'easter yesterday.
Mal
Have this stroganoff on the stove.
Damaris
You know, it's up. I think I literally said that.
Mal
Strong enough?
Damaris
No, the tailwind.
Mal
Oh, my God.
Damaris
I definitely texted that to my mom.
Rory
Anyway, well, I'm glad that you were beating the Earth's rotation curvature. It's cool. I did more flatter stuff last night.
Mal
I'm glad you made. I'm glad you got home an hour sooner than GPS said you would, Phil. You feel accomplished? I always feel accomplished when I have a GPS and I'm driving. I get this sooner than it says.
Julian
I'm so, like, five minutes before I'm.
Mal
Like, come on, y'all don't even know about them back roads right there.
Rory
But what pisses me off more is when I'm going 100 miles an hour and the GPS still gets me there in the time that they said I would have.
Julian
Well, that's. Everybody else who they polled also went 100 miles per hour.
Damaris
They polled.
Mal
No, I don't think that sounds like.
Rory
A Fox News poll.
Mal
I don't embarrass it. Everybody was going up.
Rory
So when I type in a random address that quickly. They pulled that.
Mal
Yeah, yeah. Everybody was.
Rory
One second.
Mal
Everybody.
Julian
I don't. They go by, like, they call your.
Rory
House phone and they pull you over the phone.
Julian
They go by how fast? Everybody.
Mal
They go by your census. You got to fill out a census and then send it back in. And they let. They let you know.
Julian
They don't go. Like, the average GPS is systematically racist.
Rory
Too, because they do not pull black people. It's a.
Damaris
What do you mean?
Rory
Census joke. Whatever. Everyone said it's cool.
Damaris
Black people don't do this.
Julian
Was it a good joke?
Damaris
Black people don't do this.
Rory
It's actually a great one. That's fine.
Damaris
It's a pretty good joke.
Rory
Reddit. Kill me, please. Explain this again.
Julian
I thought. No, I thought they go by averages. Like, if 100 people go to this address.
Rory
No. Based off speed limit, the current traffic.
Damaris
Yeah. What do you mean? Like, if Rory. He's the only person that lives in his house. How are they pulling 100 people from Rory's house?
Julian
No, I'm not. I'm talking about just off the app.
Rory
Like.
Mal
Yeah, but you have to put in a. You have to put in an address. So what they do is they go by the amount of people that are on that highway.
Julian
That's what I was. No, but that's what I'm thinking. The amount of people going on that highway and how long it took them.
Rory
Like, the current traffic at the time, the speed limit, the amount of turns.
Mal
Like accident reports. Yeah, like that.
Julian
Oh, I thought it was, like, all the other cars around you that are also on Google Maps. Like, you thought.
Rory
You thought it was a survey.
Julian
Like, if they're going 100 miles an hour, they're gonna say, oh, okay, they got there in five minutes.
Mal
So you think everybody was stupid?
Rory
Should have filled out a Scantron.
Julian
I hear myself sounding stupid. I'm just gonna stop talking.
Mal
I'm trying to know. I was trying to pull you out of it. I was trying to pull you out of that hole. You KE going back to the note. But the address. I'm like, damaris. Everybody's not going to the address I'm going to. But the road. Yes. People are on the road. Yes. And they're gauging how fast. They gauge how fast those people are going on the road.
Julian
Yeah, exactly, because we're all using Google Maps. We all have connections to the Internet. Like, and.
Rory
And my point is, when I do it, it's based off the speed limit and the people that are there. And I'm passing everyone going 100 miles an hour. Why did I get here? At the time, you actually asked.
Damaris
Well, doesn't it.
Rory
Shouldn't I be there earlier? Come on, you know, sats the trains going 60 miles an hour here and.
Damaris
Yeah.
Mal
From Seattle to New York.
Rory
Yeah, yeah, but same thing with me on the Jersey Turnpike.
Damaris
You guys remember road trips when you were younger? Like, Pre Garmin, pre MapQuest days? Just the old school map.
Rory
Yeah, for sure.
Mal
I've never taken a road. Well, I wasn't driving when. Before MapQuest. By the time I was driving, we were using MapQuest.
Damaris
Okay.
Mal
I remember young family, 12 pieces of paper.
Julian
Oh, God.
Mal
Yeah.
Damaris
I was always the tech guy in the household, so I would always have to print all the paper and all that shit.
Rory
But before that, it was just a straight up. I wasn't driving at that time. But I remember there being, like, maps in the glove box.
Mal
Oh, yeah, but I. I wasn't Driving then.
Rory
No, me neither.
Damaris
Yeah, my mom. I remember my mom was a horrible direction.
Rory
There was side kids.
Damaris
Helper started driving, she would be like, this is the exit. As we're passing the exit, my dad would just cuss us everywhere.
Julian
Black.
Damaris
You just cuts out the car.
Julian
They said when black people. When you.
Mal
Everybody in this car.
Damaris
When you pee again. I always had to pee.
Julian
When you in the car with black people and you miss your exit, they don't like, tell you, like, there's the exit. They'll be like, where are you? Like, when you pass the exit.
Damaris
Yeah.
Julian
Black people would just be like, where you going?
Damaris
Yeah, it's horrible. That's not how.
Mal
That's the only way to do it, though.
Damaris
That's not help.
Mal
You're like, where you going?
Julian
I'm not gonna say turn left, right?
Mal
No, no, no. Because you know why I would say, where you going? Cause I think maybe you know another route. So you're like, nah, we gonna go to the next exit, get off there, make the left, go around like. So that's why I can't say, yo, you going the wrong way. You might know something I don't. So when I say, where you going? That's your time to say, nah, nah, nah, we gonna get off down there, make the left, and then go across, like. See, I'm saying because black people, you know, we got our routes. Don't ask us how we found out about it, but we found it was routes.
Rory
I did a road trip with my grandparents from Chicago to St. Louis when they were old. That's about a four hour drive. Probably took us eight hours. They stopped every two minutes. And my grandmother would not listen to me. She thought she was being kind by saying, what radio station do you want to listen to? My grandma. The radio stations are different here than they are there. She's like, well, just tell me the number that you like to listen to. All right, fine. 97 1. Which was some talk radio.
Mal
Yeah.
Rory
In Chicago. That's not hot. 97. I don't know if you know that.
Mal
No, that's not.
Rory
My grandmother refused to hear me out on that point. So for eight hours we listened to 97. 1 from Chicago to St. Louis. That continued to switch from talk radio to opera to whatever the fuck was going on in that area. It was. It was hell. Like, I still have PTSD from that. We got out every 20 minutes to stretch or to pee.
Mal
Why you didn't.
Damaris
Why you didn't stretch break is hilarious.
Julian
They're older.
Damaris
They got like, stretches.
Julian
Their limbs need like motivation.
Mal
No, they don't.
Damaris
You gotta oil their limbs. It's like the Tin man getting out.
Mal
Of a four hour road trip to stretch. You can't sit down for four hours. Just sit down, just relax, turn some fucking music on and just chill for four hours.
Rory
And granted, my grandfather should not have been driving at that time already. Oh, you weren't driving up until my grandfather passed. The last time I saw him, I tried to drive home from the Emotional Oranges concert at midnight. He's one of those old school, like, women can't drive. Your kids can't drive. Your grandkids definitely can't fucking drive. He's the only guy at 92 that was allowed to drive that car.
Mal
I'm not riding in the car. Nobody.
Rory
92 years old at night in Chicago.
Mal
We give. We gonna slip. We gonna slip. Pop up a motherfucking. Put him to bed. Yeah. Oh, fucking a gummy or something. He sent him to sleep. No, I'm not 92 years old. I'm not riding the car with no 92.
Rory
You never met my grandfather?
Mal
Nah, listen, God bless him, 92 years old. I got this, Mom.
Damaris
My grandfather was like that. He was pretty tough on. He refused to give up his license. He was in his mid-90s.
Rory
I felt so bad too. Cause I don't think you should be.
Mal
Able to drive after 90 years old.
Rory
I agree. Yeah, he shouldn't have been driving.85. He was, he was just not.
Mal
Yeah, I don't. I don't think you should be allowed to operate heavy machinery at 90 plus years old.
Rory
And he had like an update for his life. I forgot 80 something. And we were so excited, like, because again, he would refuse to let us either drive or tell him he can't drive.
Mal
Yeah.
Rory
We're like, he has his renewal. Obviously they're gonna say no and he legally will not be able to drive.
Mal
Right.
Rory
My grandfather respected the law to some degree. He's not gonna drive past it with flying fucking colors.
Mal
Wow.
Rory
I was so pissed. So you still. I wish I would have went to like, talk to the guy.
Mal
Like, you know, like, let's tell him.
Damaris
Yeah.
Rory
Like, can I sit in the back seat?
Mal
Yeah.
Rory
How did you. Did you. Did you pay him off, Grandpa?
Mal
Yeah, after. After 90, it's like, come on, man, get the accessor ride. Let the accessoride come, pick the grandparents up, take them where they need to go, but they don't need to be driving though.
Rory
I did feel bad though. One of like a weird regret I have. That was the last time I Saw my grandpa was after the Emotional Oranges concert. The next morning I had a 6am flight back to Jersey because I think we had to record. And I took an Uber. Like, I snuck out of the house. He wanted to drive me, but I told him the wrong flight. My flight was earlier. So I snuck out and then like shot him a text. Like, hey, took the earlier one. He was so mad at me and then like, died like a week later.
Damaris
He crashed.
Rory
No, he died of COVID.
Julian
He crashed. He. You heard him right? He crashed.
Rory
You heard crashed up.
Mal
What's wrong with you, man?
Damaris
Wouldn't it be funny?
Julian
No, no.
Mal
Man's grandfather passed away. Finding time to crack his 90s.
Rory
A veteran at that.
Mal
Yeah.
Damaris
Which war?
Mal
The first one.
Rory
That's crazy.
Damaris
The American Indian War.
Rory
We have good genes. What can I say?
Mal
Yeah, first war, bro. You didn't know that. Everybody knew that.
Damaris
Oh, that's hilarious.
Rory
Anyways, with all that said, welcome to.
Mal
Another episode of the new Rory Mo podcast. I am more.
Rory
I'm Rory.
Mal
And we are back. I started watching this show on Netflix called Warrior. It's about a Chinese Irish in San Francisco back in, like, I want to say, I don't know, four TVs, and it's about Chinese gangs.
Rory
Yeah, really narrows it down.
Mal
Yeah, before. This is before TVs, before radios and shit like that. Um, it's a really good. It's a really good. I'm on episode three. It's.
Rory
So we talking like the 1700s or like 1930? What are we talking? No, this is like talking 80 BC.
Mal
Well, this can't be that old because I think this is based off the writings of Bruce Lee too. I think some of the. Bruce Lee's writings, they use some of this.
Damaris
Bruce Lee was not around.
Rory
I thought he was on tv.
Mal
But, but, but in some of the scenes, like, they're still riding horse and carriage.
Damaris
19Th century, early 19th century. So you're looking at the 1800s.
Mal
Yeah. So they're still riding like horse and carriage and things like that.
Damaris
It's pretty good show.
Mal
It's a pretty good. Pretty good series so far.
Rory
With San Francisco as liberal back then.
Mal
No, the Irish were going crazy. They hated. They hated the Chinese.
Rory
What? Yeah, we're such progressive people.
Mal
But it's a good show. I'm on episode three or four. It's three seasons, 10 episodes a season. And I just stumbled on. I just thought. I watched the trailer, it looked interesting. Watched the first episode, a lot of action in it. But now the storyline is actually pretty good too. So it's a good series, man. Check it out. Wario. Netflix.
Rory
Okay.
Mal
It came out last year, 2023, so. But I never saw it. Never heard of it, Never knew. I didn't know anybody that watched it, but it's actually a good series.
Rory
I sent Julian a clip I saw on Twitter that I think shows a true warrior when times are very bleak.
Mal
Ruby Rose.
Rory
No, that's another warrior that we'll get to. Great clip in a bit, but I want to, I want to. Please let me know. Since you've been watching this warrior Netflix series, you may have an understanding of when you're at war times, especially with your significant other, when it's time to step up and be a warrior. Can we start this from the top, Julian?
Damaris
Yeah.
Rory
How old are you? 26? 22.
Mal
How long you been together?
Rory
Two years.
Mal
If she gave you a guilt free pass to sleep with anybody, would you take it? No, sir. You. You only you might get one pass.
Rory
But at the end of the day.
Mal
You want one wife.
Damaris
True. This is the wife I want.
Rory
So no wife's wife.
Mal
Now what about you? If he gave you one? If he gave me a guilt treat.
Damaris
Pass, I would take it. That's great.
Rory
She's honest at least.
Mal
Who would you think? He said that's crazy three times.
Rory
Lindy Waters iii. Who is that?
Julian
Don't even know who that is.
Rory
That's our problem.
Mal
He said I don't even know who that is. That's our problem.
Rory
Barry Sanders.
Mal
I'm a lover.
Rory
More options now.
Mal
What do you think?
Rory
Not even seniors.
Mal
Those men have over your men.
Damaris
They're professional athletes.
Mal
That's crazy. Hey, black or white?
Julian
One is Native American and one's black.
Damaris
She's for the what do you think.
Rory
That any other guys bragged about go for you, Junior.
Julian
One.
Mal
That's crazy.
Julian
Hey, at the end of the day, it's whatever.
Rory
At the end, she called him by his nickname.
Mal
Yeah, Junior.
Rory
That felt more like a confession than it did a hypothetical situation.
Mal
That was definitely a confession. She definitely met those guys right there. Was that 6th street in Austin? Definitely looks like 6th street in Austin.
Julian
I just feel like you don't gotta say the quiet parts out loud. It's okay to just think things like.
Mal
I mean, water's the third when you're.
Rory
Talking about like bench players or G league players at this point, just if you're gonna embarrass me this way, at least like make it a superstar.
Mal
Well, let's.
Rory
Where anyone's like, oh, okay, you know, haha, celebrity pass. Like she could Run into this guy at Starbucks today.
Mal
Oh, she ran into Lindy Waters iii.
Damaris
Yeah, he ran.
Mal
That's the only way you know who he is. You got to run into him.
Rory
She seems to have a thing for the juniors and the thirds. Like. Yeah, she likes lineage. Yeah, she's very family oriented.
Damaris
Strong genetics.
Mal
Well, Lindy Waters, this season, he's averaging 2.9 points, one rebound and a half of an assist. That means he set a good screen on a shot. Yeah, that's how that works. I don't know how she knows this guy. She obviously really knows Lindy Waters.
Rory
Through Instagram.
Mal
Never heard of him.
Damaris
Instagram.
Mal
Yeah. And Barry Sanders Jr. I mean, you know who his dad is, so. Only natural that you would know who Junior is.
Julian
So, Juni.
Mal
Yeah, she seems to have her baby. You know, she's got a Native American here, got a brother in there. You know, she's trying to keep it progressive. And, you know, she got a white boyfriend and Indian side, and she need Junior to just tear that thing up every now and then.
Julian
Okay, so what if she had named someone? Morphe. What if she had named, like, Idris and Idris Elba? Yeah, what if she had. What if. I'm just saying, so hypothetically, if she had named people who were more famous, would that have made it acceptable?
Mal
I mean, that would have made it typical. This is very, like, interesting. It's like, yo, these are. Well, Barry Sanders Jr. Is little. Is a little more known than Lindy Waters iii. But Lynn, when she went to Lindy.
Rory
Waters iii, first of all, listen, name your names. Where. We've already entered this arena. Name your names. But when he asks, what's the difference between them and your man? And you say professional athlete. Duh. And one averages two points, and one's in college and not even a professional athlete.
Mal
Yeah.
Damaris
Yeah, but he's Native American.
Rory
I'm not. I'm not saying violence should happen, but I could understand.
Mal
I think that's when you just know who you're with and you just decide to break up with her.
Rory
If she says Trey Young, and it's like, well, he's a professional athlete, at least. I'm like, all right, he's a professional.
Mal
He just signed. He just signed an extension. Yeah. All right. She got me there.
Rory
Cool.
Mal
Yeah. Lindy Water's the third, though.
Damaris
That's a sick poll.
Rory
Is Barry Sanders Jr. In the league?
Mal
No.
Damaris
No.
Rory
So he's not a professional athlete.
Julian
And they're a little young for her, right? She's 26. How old are. How. If he's not in the league. How old is he?
Mal
Barry Sanders Junior's 29. 28.
Julian
Oh, yeah.
Rory
Oh, so he is in the league.
Julian
Okay.
Mal
No, he's not in the league.
Rory
Oh, he's 29 in college.
Damaris
He's 29 in college.
Mal
No, he better not.
Rory
So he's not even a college athlete or a professional athlete. Oh, yeah. Now I gotta suplex you on 6th Street.
Julian
Like, why his name even at the top of your brain? Like, he ain't even active.
Rory
I mean, and what do you love him for?
Julian
Like a chase?
Rory
Like, why are you and why you say he probably would.
Damaris
His college career ended in 2016.
Mal
Yeah, which.
Damaris
So he's like five years out.
Mal
Yeah, he's done.
Damaris
He's good.
Julian
So where'd you even now? She.
Damaris
Them.
Julian
She had to have them.
Mal
Now here's where it's interesting. Here's where it gets interesting. Do you. Then it's not interesting yet. No. Hold on. Do you go. Then go to your girl's Instagram and see if she's following.
Damaris
She definitely follows that guy.
Julian
Now you don't.
Rory
No, no, I can tell. She's. What she said she was 26, he's 22.
Mal
Yeah.
Rory
She picked a young, impressionable guy so she could be in control and do whatever the fuck she wants. She's. She's a veteran in the shit. She definitely doesn't follow either of them. And deletes the DMs from back and forth.
Damaris
Lindy's.
Rory
She probably talks to them on WhatsApp.
Damaris
Snapchat.
Julian
Snapchat for sure.
Mal
Yeah. She looks like a snapper.
Damaris
Snapchat still is the spot for that kind of nefarious behavior.
Mal
Is it?
Damaris
Yeah.
Rory
Is. Do we look at women in the same predator type way of a 26 to 22? I mean, because he seems like someone like an impressionable 22 year old that wants love and doesn't know about the world yet. And she knows what time it is.
Julian
They're four years apart and they're legal. I think it's fine.
Mal
Well, the women definitely not saying legally predator, but the women definitely jumped on Dre's case a few. A few weeks ago.
Rory
I mean, that's.
Mal
I didn't see a lot of women call Andrea a predator.
Rory
I'm talking more so in these scenarios.
Damaris
Well, they've been dreya years rest. So she was 24 and he was 20 when they started dating.
Mal
Yeah, that's acceptable.
Rory
But based off her commentary to these questions, I feel like she has somewhat of that I want to control you. Because you're younger vibe to her. Let me take advantage of this young person that doesn't know how things go. And a four year difference in your 20s can do that.
Julian
Or she might be a. Everybody her. If they're from a small town, everybody from her age group knows that she's a. So she had to go younger.
Rory
Had to go younger because he had to.
Mal
He's already told my marriage. He's like, yo, you only get one wife.
Rory
You get mad wives.
Mal
Yeah. If you choose, right? Like, what is he talking about? You only get one wife. No, sir. You get as many wives as you choose to have. Yeah. And she went straight to Lindy Waters III off of. You only get one wife.
Rory
Usually I think things are fake and I think this is real.
Julian
I think that's real too.
Rory
And it's crazy the place we've gotten. Do you remember the Chappelle show sketch of Real Sex that used to be on HBO where they like interview real people?
Damaris
Oh, gang betting over here.
Rory
And it was Chappelle and his girlfriend.
Mal
Yeah.
Rory
And he was like, oh, I don't really know the craziest thing. And she was like, yeah. Probably in college when I was being fucked by a bunch of guys, like all my homegirls cheering me on.
Mal
Yeah.
Rory
But was like, I think the only crazy thing I've ever done is fuck old gang bang here without a rubber.
Damaris
Oh, gang.
Rory
This is the real life shit. Like, yeah, this was a joke at one point.
Mal
Yeah.
Rory
Now it's regularly on the Internet.
Julian
Okay, okay, okay. One time I had a three way with these two guys in college and my sorority sisters were like cheering me.
Rory
Yeah, yeah.
Mal
Look at his face.
Rory
What about you, sir?
Damaris
Having this sexually?
Mal
They probably be having sex with old.
Damaris
Gang bang here without a rubber. Done, man. Done, man.
Mal
State is over.
Rory
That can happen to anyone. But at least in this hypothetical joke scenario, Chappelle as a man was like, yo, we are done.
Mal
We cooked out.
Rory
This guy over here is like, I mean, I don't care, man. It is what it is.
Mal
At the end of the day, it is what it is.
Julian
So if so, guy with the mic comes up to you. Which is like one of my biggest fears, by the way, but guy with the mic.
Mal
But the marriage would not walk away.
Rory
No.
Julian
I was for sure. The fit people came up to me and I was like, I'm out of here.
Damaris
What's the fit people?
Julian
They have like a bunch of people who come like, yo, tell me about your fit. Yeah, bye.
Rory
You probably let the. The monks try to give you that gold Bracelets. Ticket, too.
Mal
So where does the ticket get you?
Rory
No, you have to pay, like, a hundred dollars. They try to give it to you, and then, like, if you take it, they'll hold it really tight, and they'll be like, a hundred dollars. They'll lose their accent immediately.
Julian
Is it like the key to heaven?
Rory
No, it's the key to them making money.
Julian
Where does the gold ticket go? Like, does it.
Mal
Where do you get. Where is it redeemable?
Rory
Y'all have not seen this in New York?
Mal
No, I've not. Monk has never walked up to me in New York City.
Damaris
They've never done amongst.
Julian
Never came up.
Damaris
It happens.
Julian
The people come with the, like, the Jesus pamphlets. Like, accept Lord Jesus into your life as your Christ and savior.
Rory
Yeah, naturally.
Julian
Girl with. The guy with the mic comes up to you, and your girl asks you that question, Are you allowing her to answer the question?
Rory
Well, we're in a hypothetical situation, because I would never do that to begin with. But if I agree to get on camera to do an interview with my girl, I mean, I think I have to allow her to answer. No. That's why I would never put myself in that situation. But hypothetically, yeah, she would have to answer. Right.
Julian
And you would get mad at her answer. I feel like every guy knows who the hall pass is, though.
Mal
What do you mean?
Julian
You know who. Who your girlfriend has a crush on. Like, you know which celebrity your girlfriend has a crush?
Rory
I'm. I mean, I'm not naive. I'm sure there's celebrity crushes, but I don't know.
Julian
You don't know who her celebrity crushes?
Rory
No.
Julian
That's probably because you know her celebrity crush. That's not fair. When you're like, boyfriends, now you're.
Rory
Now you're unlocking a whole different part of insecurity in my brain.
Julian
No, no.
Rory
Now I really won't sleep at night. Tell me more about this Damaris.
Julian
No, because what I'm saying is, like, y'all know people, so it's like, of course she wouldn't tell you her celebrity crush because you might run into him one day.
Damaris
Yeah, that's a Mars Godfather.
Mal
That's awkward.
Rory
That was male.
Julian
But, yeah, I can understand her. Like, nah, I'm not. You might be in the. In high room with this the next week. You know what I'm saying? Like, so. But most men know who their girlfriend is.
Mal
If your girl says she would take the hall pass, do you get upset?
Rory
Am I giving her the hall pass?
Mal
Yeah, like, same question. Like, if your significant Other gave you a hall pass. Would you use it?
Rory
If she says, if I'm giving her a hall pass, she says yes. I can't be mad at her.
Mal
What? Yes, you can. It could be a test.
Rory
Oh, well, to me, that's like women games. I don't want to do that test. If. If the scenario is you're giving your girl a hall pass and she says, well, I'll take the hall pass because he's giving it to me, then I'm not mad at that. I would never give her a hall pass. So that's where it's like, okay, cut and dry.
Julian
Not even this.
Rory
But if we're doing the hypothetical. No, I can't be mad I gave you a hall pass.
Julian
Not even the biggest. Like, your biggest crush in the world, like she's had a crush on this person. She was 10. You wouldn't give her the hell off.
Damaris
She's getting.
Rory
How many times.
Julian
I don't care.
Rory
How many times? Do you have to ask scenarios like a billion dollars your girl could get on camera? No, there's not a money value completely.
Julian
Different than you letting me get my hall pass. That's crazy.
Mal
You said haters.
Julian
Yeah, I would.
Mal
I would. Yes. I would hate for another man to penetrate my girl. Yes, I would hate that.
Rory
You're. You're so weird.
Damaris
I don't understand.
Julian
I'm not saying you're weird for feeling some type of way. Of course you should feel some type of way. I just don't. I would never want to take that freedom for, like, I wouldn't want to take that opportunity for another person. If my husband got the chance to Ruby Rose. Yes. If Miles. We got the chance to Ruby Rose. I can't take that from, like, that's a once in a lifetime opportunity. I might not even like you in five years, and you're gonna look back.
Mal
And be like a lifetime.
Julian
Ruby Rose, if you have a crush, I don't know, as a celebrity, that's your celebrity crush, and you've always had a crush on her. I'm not gonna take that from you, bro.
Rory
I wouldn't. I mean no disrespect to her. She's gorgeous and I know she wouldn't me, but once in a lifetime, I don't know if I'd put her there.
Mal
Ruby Rose.
Rory
At once in a lifetime, like maybe a b. Arianna is like the. Oh, she's like just a chick on. On the Internet. A very pretty one. And I know she raps and I'm.
Julian
Not what they look like. There's some people who don't feel that way about Beyonce because they're not attracted to her.
Mal
But.
Julian
Yeah, it's about who you're attracted to.
Mal
Yeah, but we all know Beyonce is once in a lifetime.
Damaris
There's, like, level of access.
Mal
Yeah.
Julian
You know what?
Damaris
You could DM her.
Julian
Y'all are purposely talking around my.
Rory
Okay, let's.
Julian
Yeah, I know what I mean.
Rory
Take preference out of it. Let's say someone's extremely attracted to Mariah Carey, who's beautiful, but some people don't find her as attractive as they find Rihanna. Mariah Carey is a once in a lifetime. Like, you don't just get to be around Mariah Carey. Yeah, I could go to an after party tomorrow and see Ruby Rose. I know she wouldn't fuck me, but I'm saying it's not a once in a lifetime.
Mal
I stayed in that same hotel room she's in right there. That's the London.
Damaris
That's my room.
Mal
Like, had that room.
Rory
Mad lifetimes. I would run into that girl.
Julian
Y'all do know that there are, like, normal people in the world who don't have the access.
Rory
Mad, normal people. And I'm normal. Mad normal people run into Ruby Bros. Yeah, normal people stay at the London.
Damaris
What if you hit your hall pass in the. In the sexist trash? Like, there's also that side of the coin. What if the sucks?
Mal
No. Then now you got to give me. You got to give me a gift card or something.
Julian
Like, I'm sorry.
Mal
Yeah.
Damaris
Getting rebate.
Mal
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Rory
Bed, Bath and Beyond.
Mal
Yeah, you got to give me something. I got to be able to redeem.
Damaris
This because we're assuming it's good, but what if the experience is horrible and then you just up your relationship and the hall.
Julian
Well, that was the hall pass you wanted also.
Rory
On top of that, probably a good. It is rare that, like, the first time you have sex with someone, it's amazing.
Damaris
That's my bag.
Mal
Nah, I've had a few girls.
Rory
No, I've had. That's happened to me before. But if you look at the percentage.
Julian
While it gets better, the more you have.
Mal
Gets better what?
Julian
The more you sleep with a person, it gets better.
Damaris
Oh, yeah. It's a chemistry.
Mal
Yeah, but you've had sex with somebody for the first time, and it was great, though.
Rory
Yeah, for sure. But I'm saying a hall pass, like, one time. If I'm gonna get a hall pass, I need, like, a subscription. Like a monthly subscription. Yeah, I need. Because that whole pass needs to last for the month.
Mal
Yeah.
Rory
Because if it's too, like, one time.
Mal
It'S not gonna be. We're not only doing that one time. If it's that good.
Julian
See? And that's why you can't give certain hall passes. Did you give a. A rope? And he won't be a cowboy, like, for sure.
Mal
Yeah.
Rory
We're part of the be. What do you want from us?
Mal
Yeah, like, you. Right. I want to be a cowboy.
Rory
While we're on the subject, and I think we can talk about this, your homegirl is the worst of them all in this.
Mal
Oh, shit. Which one of your homegirls is a hoe?
Rory
No, I'm not calling her a hoe.
Mal
Oh, my bad.
Rory
In this scenario, I want to go back to when you said, oh, her celebrity crush might be somebody you know or your friend.
Julian
Mm.
Rory
Your homegirl.
Julian
Here we go.
Rory
Dated the best friend of a rapper for a long. Like, they were in a real relationship. And her biggest celebrity crush ever that she would drop everything for was his best friend.
Damaris
Oh, hell no.
Rory
And, like, was tweeting about it after they broke up, too. Like, I was texting her. Like, that's so rude. You can't, like, say, that's your. Your exes who you're still cool with.
Mal
Yeah.
Rory
Best friend. Allegedly grew up with him. Was best friends with him when you guys were dating for a long time. That was the most insane I had seen in quite some time.
Damaris
What artist can you believe.
Rory
No, no.
Mal
Yeah.
Rory
I don't want to do bleep it. A. A big rapper.
Damaris
Thanks. That narrows it down.
Mal
He wears sneakers.
Damaris
He's voting for Trump. He wears sneakers.
Mal
Yeah. He wears sneakers.
Rory
It's for the culture.
Mal
Yeah. Let me help you. He's for the culture. Let me help you.
Rory
I. I actually had a huge clue in there. Yeah.
Julian
Yeah.
Rory
To what you say.
Julian
Anyway.
Rory
You have no comment to that?
Julian
No, I have no comment at all. I don't throw.
Rory
Because you brought that scenario into my world. But you are best friends with someone that. Actually, that's not a scenario. That's a real life thing that happened. And I was the only friend that was trying to tell her, like, that's up.
Damaris
That is.
Rory
But y'all were. Y'all were the sorority sisters cheering her the on. Like, see if he replies on Twitter.
Julian
Pop that. Pop that.
Rory
Like, y'all was at birthday dinners together. Can you imagine, like, finding that out way later? Like, your girls. Her biggest crush ever that she would ever do anything for. Has been my best friend the whole time.
Mal
So now I got a question. If. If they might have did something on the. You know, I mean, he didn't.
Rory
The rapper. I know he's a good guy, you know, rappers.
Mal
No good guys.
Julian
Mind your business, Julian.
Damaris
I want to know over here, like, who.
Rory
Who. I think it's even worse that they didn't. And I feel awkward as, like, the rapper.
Mal
You would feel awkward that your. Your. Your best friend's ex.
Rory
Not some. Not just some girl. He was.
Mal
His girl has a crush on you.
Rory
That was around all the time. Like, y'all threw surprise parties for me.
Damaris
They. They had, like. They texted on the side to, like, coordinate things, you know? They did.
Mal
Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. This is where women. This is where women are evil beings. She put together surprise parties for her crush.
Damaris
She's like, I need.
Rory
No, no, no, no. I'm saying, like, you know, when you're doing something for your significant other, you may talk to her. Her friend or his friend.
Mal
Oh, hell no.
Damaris
Nah, I need his name.
Rory
Like, the whole time. I'm no, like, now I know that you have been lusting for me. I'm. I'm your number one. I would cheat, do anything.
Mal
Nope.
Rory
And you was in the. You was in the circle.
Mal
Nope.
Julian
That means if I found out crush on Rory, I'd be mad as fuck.
Mal
Because, see, you mentally already sucked his dick.
Rory
Yeah, 100%. Without question.
Mal
Sometimes that's worse than.
Rory
Actually, I think she even tweeted it.
Damaris
Well, break that down. How do you mentally.
Julian
Oh, we mentally suck dick.
Mal
See, Julian, you ain't got enough hoes. You ain't got enough.
Julian
We mentally.
Mal
You don't know that women. You don't know that women mentally suck dick.
Damaris
How do you catch someone in the mental dick suck?
Rory
Like, what do you mean, catch them? It's an internal thing.
Mal
You've never been in a room with a girl that you don't feel like she's mentally sucking your dick right now.
Damaris
Oh, you're talking like. Okay. Like, the sex eyes, like, the eye contact stuff and the mouth.
Julian
Her mouth start watering.
Damaris
Is she like a fucking rottweiler?
Mal
She's a dolphin.
Damaris
She's a dolphin.
Julian
Dolphins mouth water.
Mal
Yeah. They spit everywhere. Yeah, she's a little dolphin. Little dolphin mouth.
Damaris
Mental head is crazy.
Mal
Yeah, we.
Julian
We do it. We do it.
Mal
Yeah. So she definitely mentally gave your best friend head before.
Rory
Mentally. More than that.
Damaris
Mental anal.
Julian
Yeah, mental anal.
Mal
Your girl giving mental anal is fucking crazy. I'm shooting everybody. Everybody gotta get a shot.
Julian
Well, you would never know.
Mal
Shots for everybody.
Rory
No, they know now because she was tweeting it after they broke up.
Mal
Yeah, that's when you go and kill her.
Rory
When I was.
Mal
Don't.
Julian
Please don't. No violence against women, of course.
Rory
And mine too. That's why I was the only friend. Texted her like, take that tweet down. That's crazy.
Mal
See, that's why I was in. Up on the news. You gotta ask. All right, let me hear both sides, though. Don't just show me y'all bringing homie out the. Out the courthouse, like, with cuffs on. Yeah, we don't agree what she did. Show me what the victim did.
Rory
We don't agree with what he did.
Mal
Yeah, I don't agree, but I don't.
Rory
Think it just fell from the fucking sky.
Mal
But, like, some dudes be cool. He'd be like, the homie was cool. What happened? Nah, yo, I'm saying my. My man, my best friend. You know what I'm saying? Rapper, her celebrity crush found out she let him mentally put it in her ass and all that, like, had to go kill her. I might be like, I feel you, son.
Rory
Your original point. Some shit. Just keep to yourself. Yeah, she should, like, because she was going on, like, tweet tirades about that whole shit, and I'm like. At first, I thought it was, like, some vindictive shit. Like, she didn't like her ex, and she was just trying to, like, do some women petty.
Mal
That is vindictive.
Rory
But she's like, no, we super cool.
Mal
Like, no, we not.
Damaris
You're not cool.
Rory
I was like, this isn't someplace like. Like, no, I'm single, and I'm just tweeting about.
Damaris
That's not my fool.
Rory
I said that multiple times there. I think it's even more uncool that she's cool with it with her ex. It wasn't like her ex cheated on her, and then she broke up and then went on Twitter and was like, I'll your best friend you. Nah, it was mad cool. She was just. It was like the topic that day on the timeline of who you would just give it up for, no matter what.
Mal
And she jumped in on it.
Rory
Couple tweets. Yeah.
Mal
Nah, that's sick. That's fucked up. You can't do that. Cause you gotta know, yo. Nah, that's my situation. I was just in with my ex. Like, I can't participate in this conversation even if I wanted to, or just.
Rory
Or just have fun on Twitter and pick another rapper.
Julian
I also wouldn't date the best friend of. Of my hall pass, like, or of My, like one, I would never date Jesse Williams best friend. I'm not doing it.
Mal
Who's Jesse Williams?
Rory
Oh, but, you know, there's. There's a lot of situations where women try to go after the celebrity or the person they're a fan of.
Mal
Oh, Derek Jeter. Okay.
Rory
No dick and a Derek Jeter biopic. He would be great.
Mal
Yeah. Starry Jeet. Are you kidding me? He was born to play Derek Jeter.
Rory
But what we don't talk about is plenty of women go after their famous crush, rapper, celebrity, whatever it is.
Julian
Don't make it to the top, don't.
Rory
Make it to him. End up with the homeboy. And the homeboy sometimes wipes.
Mal
No. Now more than ever. They always wife. Now.
Rory
Like, that happens more than we think.
Mal
Absolutely.
Julian
That's. I. I wouldn't.
Rory
And then the homeboy. I'm like, you don't think that, like, you knew that that girl was here and interested in him?
Mal
Yeah.
Rory
So, like, why you. You.
Mal
How could you wife that?
Rory
Yeah, like, you know, just weird.
Mal
And then if I say that, guess.
Julian
What I am Misogynistic.
Mal
I know. I hate her. That I see you. How you wife. That wasn't your man. I'm hating now. I'm hating.
Rory
That's like. Like clout cuck.
Damaris
Mm.
Rory
Like you. You know, your girl loves your homeboy, but you, like, you want to fucking. You want to wife it, even though she wants to fucking.
Mal
How do you navigate that conversation?
Damaris
There's a very specific case of this that we're not going to say on the episode, but that just came to mind.
Mal
A specific case?
Damaris
Yeah.
Mal
Don't you have a case like that?
Damaris
Do I? Me personally?
Mal
Yeah.
Rory
Didn't you have something.
Mal
You smashed a girl and then one of your homeboys end up wifing it?
Damaris
Oh. Oh, yeah. That's happened a few times.
Mal
Yeah.
Damaris
Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Mal
But.
Damaris
But I'm not like.
Rory
But he wasn't. He wasn't a Derek G. Yeah.
Damaris
I'm not like the Jackie Williams.
Mal
No, but still, like, you had a crew.
Damaris
They're like, oh, he's like the better looking one. So I'm like, I'll hit and then.
Julian
I'll be the out of us.
Damaris
I don't want to talk to you ever. And then the next thing I know.
Mal
I wasn't familiar with your game.
Rory
My bad curling today.
Mal
I know. You could go left. My bad.
Damaris
Yomi told me to stop doing the bang.
Mal
Did she?
Damaris
Yeah, she said keep it up. Like, just up here. Not.
Mal
Yeah. So not the Clark Kent thing.
Damaris
No.
Mal
Yeah.
Damaris
So anyway.
Julian
The white women love that, though.
Damaris
That happens, though. You're right, though. I've. I've hooked up with quite a few of my friends. Girlfriends.
Mal
Before they was their girlfriends.
Rory
Yeah, that's.
Mal
Yeah, that's insane.
Julian
He hang with white people. They do that.
Mal
Yeah, but wife and the girl.
Damaris
But I. I wouldn't be cool with that.
Mal
You can't wipe the girl that your man smashed, bro.
Rory
I have.
Mal
Because it's just now it's awkward.
Rory
Girl that my man smashed, let alone having a relationship.
Mal
Yeah, because now it's just awkward. Like, we in the same room together and it's like. It's like, oh, she used to like.
Damaris
I still got the text messages.
Mal
See, that's crazy.
Rory
Now, is that even your.
Damaris
Not as ammo, not as collateral. I just don't delete text messages.
Mal
But you should delete that text through it, bro.
Damaris
Probably, yeah.
Mal
You should know when you look back at it.
Damaris
So I'm not the guy. I don't live in the past. So it's like, I don't.
Julian
Why do you have the text?
Damaris
I don't delete. I have text from, like, 2018 on my phone.
Mal
You don't live in the past. You caught a tailwind at 250 miles. Now, who is this guy, man?
Damaris
I don't live in the past.
Mal
I don't live in the past. My tailwinds are only 200 knots.
Rory
Once you hit 750 knots, everything in the rear view is just.
Mal
It's just a blur. It's all blur.
Rory
Objects in mirror seem closer than they appear.
Damaris
You can only move forward, guys.
Mal
It's hard to look back when your tail. When it's 300 knots.
Julian
If you.
Damaris
If you shut up.
Rory
If you like that aviation meme page.
Julian
If you like a girl that your man smashed back in the day, if you really like her and y'all like each other, it's tough to find love out here. Just love each other. Don't let these men shame you.
Mal
Oh, no. All right. So that was your version of it. Can I get my version? If you smashed my homeboy 10 years ago, there's no way I'm fucking wifing you. So don't even try. Like, it's not happening. We could fuck. I want the same value meal he got. Give me the same washing set. Don't come over here with no relationship shit. I change. Nah, change back.
Rory
It's my turn. Stay the same.
Mal
Yeah, stay the same. We liked you that way. Don't get no change of heart when it's My turn.
Rory
Put us all on your tailwind Once you're done with all of us.
Mal
Yeah, you try to change when it's my turn, but you don't.
Rory
You don't feel that way with actual friends. If you know somebody that hit, like, associate, that's whatever. Or adults. But a friend.
Julian
I feel like everyone should find love the way that they find love, and that's my take on that.
Damaris
But there's, like, some better ways to find love than others. Yeah, I think that's what we can all.
Julian
Sometimes you can't control who you love.
Mal
No, you can control who you love.
Julian
Sometimes you can't.
Mal
You can.
Julian
Sometimes you can't.
Rory
Just love them from a distance.
Julian
And some men don't care. Some men really don't.
Mal
Oh, no, now that's 100. Now, you said something there. Some don't give a. They'll wife anybody.
Julian
No, it's not about wifing anybody. But some men don't care about.
Damaris
You know, the pride rules are different. Like the internal pride. They're like, yeah, that's my girl.
Rory
Okay, but do I. As the third party, I think before we close this, as the third party, do I have a say in what?
Julian
No, you don't have. Why the would you have a say?
Rory
Because I'm. Because I'm part of this triangle. I actually started this triangle. I'm the guy that hit first.
Mal
Yeah.
Rory
And now my friend is talking to her, and it's like, yo, I think I like her. Yeah, we're really talking. Wanted to let you know, like, just so it's not weird. I don't have any say in this?
Julian
No. Why would you have any say?
Rory
Yeah, because now I'm part of this triangle that I started. Now I feel awkward.
Julian
There's no triangle you put.
Mal
No, but we got history. There is a triangle.
Julian
Yeah, they don't have any history. She.
Mal
That's history. What the are you talking about? That's.
Julian
Happens throughout life. And not all.
Rory
That's the definition of history, though. Things that happen in life, throughout life.
Julian
Not all of it makes the history books. Many of it goes unreported. Your dick wasn't reportable. It wasn't that necessary.
Rory
Wait, so you got a printed, published book of dicks that made it and.
Damaris
Ones that didn't Rise. Roy.
Julian
At the end of the day, it.
Rory
Was a New York Times bestseller.
Julian
She wants your friend, like, one hitting and she don't want you.
Damaris
That's sick logic. It still happened.
Julian
Okay, but what does that have to do with him?
Mal
Because it's gonna Be awkward. It's gonna be awkward if we're in the same room.
Julian
Awkward. It's awkward coming from you. It's fine with us.
Damaris
As someone that's done this, I don't think it's awkward because you also have to be the bigger person and, like, not make it about you.
Mal
I'm not going to make it awkward. Like, it wouldn't be me to make it awkward, but let's just be real. Like, if I had sex with a girl that you're now, like, Julian, you come here tomorrow with a girl I had sex with, and that's your girlfriend. Every day we sit in this room, it's going to be awkward.
Julian
No, it's not. No, it's not. You really don't care? Especially who it's niggas who don't fuck every bitch in their burrow. Like, them and their friends ran through every bitch in their burrow. Eventually they're going to run into the same bitches. Like, and then we get older. Oh, you fuck this bitch mad long ago. Like. But I fuck with. Like, she's dope. Like, I. Or she's not a whore. You didn't fuck her. Cause she was a whore. She wasn't an escort. I didn't say that you were. She wasn't an escort. She wasn't a. But y'all.
Mal
If I've seen Julian's girlfriend's balloon knot from the back.
Damaris
All right, Wife, use someone else.
Mal
I'm just saying. All right, If I see Rory. If I see Rory's girlfriend's balloon knot from the back. This.
Rory
This would be a weird podcast. That's what I'm saying.
Mal
Like, how are we ignoring that? It would be very awkward. And again, I wouldn't be the one making it like, hey, where'd you and the wife go? Let me guess. Like, Ponderosa? Like, I wouldn't be the guy.
Rory
We're not.
Mal
Like, I'm not that guy. I wouldn't be making it weird. Yeah, but it's just natural for it to be. Like, if Rory was like, yo, me and shorty going to fucking to the Poconos this weekend. Yeah, it's gonna be awkward for me.
Damaris
To sit here and be like, oh, it's sucked down.
Mal
I know what she likes to do at halftime. Like, she.
Damaris
Did she wake you up? Because I remember when she used to.
Mal
Do that to me. Oh, it's Veterans Day.
Damaris
Oh, man. About a month ago, especially.
Rory
We're doing a group trip. Oh, she's bringing that home, girl. Yeah, she annoyed me, too. Then I'M start feeling like, yo, all right, man.
Julian
I agree, I agree. I think that if they did.
Rory
Thank you. You try to make us seem immature. We're not. It's just a weird situation.
Julian
It's weird. If y'all one time. That's not weird. If y'all were dating. Yes.
Damaris
That's a pull up and situation.
Julian
Like, yeah, if they. If you guys one time, like on a drunk night. No, I don't think that. That's like.
Damaris
I think.
Julian
I don't blame you for not wanting to do it, but I'm not gonna. I don't. I don't think it should be villain.
Mal
I. Rory's current girlfriend one time.
Julian
He has a current.
Mal
No, no, I'm not saying like, I'm just talking about, like, not his actual.
Rory
I thought he said, like.
Mal
No, no. If you had like a. If he had like a girlfriend other than his. His lady. Now I'm saying, and that was a girl that I had sex with one time, it would still be awkward.
Damaris
It would still be awkward.
Mal
It would.
Damaris
And even if they weren't dating, but.
Rory
She was even in the most mature, cool situation, if me and her don't care, it's not anything. It's still like, I don't care. It's still a stigma in the air that can't go away.
Mal
Yeah, it's still, it's. It's. We've seen each other naked, we've rolled around, we've explored each other's bodies, cavities and things like that. It's just, you know, cavities took me. How Body cavities.
Rory
Even this hypothetical is making me uncomfortable.
Mal
Yeah, see, there you go. It's just.
Julian
Well, you know, it's not for everybody.
Mal
It's not for everybody.
Julian
Wife.
Rory
Who?
Julian
You guys want a wife? If you're in love with her, who cares if your homeboy her? If you're in love with her, be in love with her.
Mal
You can't be in love with somebody. You met your homeboy all the time.
Rory
If you find out way later, like, after you're in love and like, that's a different scenario. But going in, knowing that, man, listen.
Mal
If I'm in love with a girl and I walk in here tomorrow and rel start giggling like he is right now, yeah, that'll be our last date. I don't give a how much in love I am.
Damaris
You walk in your friend, how long you know you. It's one of those.
Mal
Yeah, I'm not wife. And I can't. You just. You gotta be honest, bro. It's too many other women out here. Well, there's way too many women out here.
Julian
Not all women are built the same.
Mal
You can be if you go to the same doctor. So they try to.
Rory
What if she claimed, like, y'all sex was AI? It never happened because they. In these days, you can do that. Like, that wasn't even her. You her, AI.
Julian
If it ain't on video, it ain't happen. It ain't a body if you ain't. If it ain't obvious.
Rory
Yeah, I just want to make that. That's not true.
Mal
Yo, I don't know where these new, like, slogans come up.
Julian
How do you prove it? You can't prove you me if you don't have it on video. So how.
Rory
I'm not here to prove anything. I'm just trying to talk to my homeboy as a friend to say, hey, a beat.
Mal
Yeah, like, he'd be weird.
Rory
He'd be like, well, where's the video?
Damaris
I was gonna say imagine you're. Imagine you coming to mall. Be like, hey, by the way, I hooked up. But, well, where's the.
Mal
Where's the proof?
Damaris
Show me your camera.
Mal
Yeah, like, what. What is that about? When did that start becoming.
Rory
First of all, thinking your homeboy would lie about your girlfriend is nuts.
Mal
Yeah, that's. That's crazy. No, that's not a thing.
Rory
But, I mean, either way, it could have been AI. Everything's AI now. We're all matter.
Damaris
Does it really doesn't matter.
Mal
It doesn't matter. Damaris might be right about that. It doesn't matter.
Julian
Doesn't.
Rory
We don't really exist.
Mal
Now, this Bobby Altoff girl, she's a girl who, you know, we kind of. She. She came onto the scene, has that kind of funny Marco style of interviewing. Her podcast, we all called her industry plant. All types of names. We called her a few months ago because she kind of popped out of nowhere. I know she's a TikTok girl, but started doing a podcast. A video of her leaked day before yesterday. It was a masturbation video. And the Internet started going, you know, doing what they do, sending the video around.
Julian
It was fat.
Mal
And she. She was it fat. Hakuchi.
Damaris
Wasn'T real.
Julian
Yeah, she said so.
Damaris
It looks weird. Like it.
Rory
I'm here to defend Bobby today, by the way.
Mal
I. The reason why I don't think that it's real is because I feel like she has that easily transferable white girl face that you can put on any body.
Rory
But in the comments, they were saying that the titties were lopsided.
Damaris
They were.
Rory
That's how she. That's how she got her start on TikTok. She popped off because she had the lopsided titties.
Mal
That's how she started on Tick Tock.
Damaris
She has, like.
Rory
I'm not making a joke.
Damaris
She has a B cup. And the other one's, like, super heavy.
Rory
If I'm not mistaken. How she got her first, like, surge, even before the funny Marco or anything, she was making Tick Tock videos. And her lopsided titty is, like, what got everyone to follow.
Mal
Oh, okay.
Julian
That's actually very common, by the way.
Mal
Yes.
Rory
Yeah. I'm not here to shame her about things.
Julian
Yeah.
Rory
I could see it being AI and.
Mal
I could see it not being AI and her just saying it and throwing it off, because who's to say it's not AI?
Damaris
It looks weird, though. Like, her face in. It looks weird.
Mal
Her face looks weird.
Damaris
Yeah. Like, it just doesn't look. I like, real. To me, at least.
Julian
Sometimes when you're busting, you make.
Mal
I mean, at the end of the day, who gives a. Jesus Christ?
Rory
Well, I'm on her side. When we had that full argument about the Taylor Swift AI photos, and Ma and I were looking at y'all like. Y'all were nuts. Like, it's a cartoon. This is drastically different. This was a real video. I thought it was a problem with AI, but I'm not going to be in Taylor Swift's corner because some cartoon photos of her.
Mal
Yeah.
Rory
On a NFL field with a bunch of fans. That looks fake, as is damaging to her career. And then this is more damaging because this is. We're debating if this is legitimately a real video or not. That's why I feel.
Mal
And it's the masturbation video.
Rory
Yeah, this is.
Mal
Yeah, this is very.
Rory
I'm always, no matter what, always going to be on the side of never leaking someone's private. Like, I think that's super corny. No matter what world we get into with the Internet and where everything is okay and. Yo, it's just the Internet now, bro. Everyone's privacy, Patriot act, all that. Always on the side of people's personal. Should not be leaked.
Julian
No, it shouldn't. But even if it is fake, me and Julian were having the conversation with you guys after the Taylor thing. I said, okay, so what happens when it's not Taylor and it's somebody else?
Rory
Go back to the. The tape. Because I went back and watched that conversation, and we were very clear that we think AI is A problem. And this could continue to be a problem. But this Taylor Swift thing is not the issue.
Julian
This is specifically said when I said mall, if this happens to your sister, how would you feel? And you said, why? It doesn't matter as long as it's not real. It doesn't matter. If it's not really her titties, if it's not really her pussy, it doesn't matter.
Rory
That was in regards to how they did those Taylor Swift photos. And we also said this could get way worse. AI is a problem. And we were glad that people were saying.
Mal
And the Taylor Swift photos wasn't even nudes.
Rory
Yeah, yeah. This. This is like a. Looks like a legitimate video. This is an actual fucking problem.
Damaris
Yeah.
Rory
For any human being.
Mal
I think that it is real.
Damaris
Really?
Mal
I think that she's just saying it's AI to just throw it off. Yeah, I can see that being real.
Rory
I think. I mean, I think AI is going to be a lot of people's excuses moving forward. A lot of shit, which I respect.
Mal
That's AIs that knew I was hacked for sure. Same shit. That's AI.
Julian
The next time y'all say something cancelable, we're gonna say it was.
Rory
Oh, yeah, no, anything put out the clip.
Julian
We're saying it was AI.
Mal
Yeah.
Rory
I want to see the first guy that's going to successfully get off. That was AI. When he gets caught cheating, that's the guy.
Mal
Like in real life, you got caught cheating?
Rory
No, like a video or like some icloud or text messages or someone leaked, you know, like, you know, the, The.
Mal
Well, little Meech was about a year too early with his ring camera video.
Rory
He's. He's still standing on as of last week. That. That was actually.
Mal
But if that video Dr. Day, he could say that's AI.
Rory
True.
Julian
I can't help my cousin with the groceries.
Mal
No, you see, today he'd be like, that's not me, that's AI.
Rory
But you know, like, you know the side chick warriors that like, use blackmail for celebrities and like, yo, I'll leak us when they have a girl if you don't.
Mal
Yeah.
Rory
AI is going to be in a lot of people's favor.
Damaris
Yeah, that's true.
Rory
And it seems like blackmail's not going to work the same way.
Mal
Oh, yeah, that's. That's over with. It seems like blackmailing somebody with a.
Damaris
Video didn't really have much of a lasting thing because the Bobby one's a little more invasive, I think, and weird. But Ruby was just getting from behind or Something like that.
Julian
I didn't see fans leak. So somebody just leaked something from her.
Damaris
Oh, then that's. Yeah, that's nothing then. I think it was just her getting hit from behind.
Rory
Oh.
Mal
I mean, that's.
Rory
I don't know.
Mal
I think it was a regular Monday morning.
Damaris
Yeah.
Rory
The. The gif I scrolled past was her by herself and she was like, fully clothed. Damn near. Yeah. Up, up, up, up, up to the right. That's what I mean. Again, I try not to look, at least, because I do think it's up, but I scrolled past all the trending thing, and that's what I saw that.
Mal
Wait, you don't even look at leaks.
Rory
I try not to.
Mal
He's honorable. There's a honorable guy here.
Rory
I really. I think that's really foul that people do that.
Mal
So this is that leak it. Yes. But if it happens to fall on my Twitter timeline.
Rory
Well, that's where I saw the thumbnail of this. I didn't see any of them.
Julian
You said fully clove, and I see a coochie lip. So how Rory.
Damaris
Well, she covered it.
Rory
She's like. Yeah, she's fully.
Damaris
Yeah, she covered it.
Rory
That looks like some only fan.
Julian
Yeah.
Rory
I don't think that's a ruby rose leaked the way that the Internet.
Julian
Yeah, it was just. It was the only. Somebody leaked it from her only fans.
Mal
This is the leak. This is it.
Damaris
That's it then. That's not what I saw.
Mal
This ain't.
Damaris
I just saw someone getting.
Rory
Also. But I also think that's up because I'm sure she has some disclaimer.
Julian
Yeah.
Rory
On her only fans. Now we're with her business.
Damaris
I think it'll bring her more business.
Rory
Probably. Probably a good promote.
Damaris
Yeah.
Rory
Matter of fact, if she was really doing some promotion, she would do a little more than that.
Julian
Can we give people their privacy?
Rory
I agree. And I think only fan shouldn't be leaked either. Those women are actually running a business. And it says disclaimer, don't leak this. Don't put it out. It's copywritten. Pay for this and you get it.
Mal
I just think paying for news is a.
Damaris
Is hilarious, insane.
Mal
Like, even when I was young, I would go to the newsstand and look at Playboy magazine. I would look at all the pictures while I was there and then leave like I wasn't.
Julian
And then go home and beat off without the magazine. But like just photographic memory.
Damaris
Mental snapshot.
Mal
Yeah. When you was young. Yeah, that's what you had to do. But I wasn't paying for that.
Julian
They Were only like pennies when you were buying them.
Mal
You okay?
Julian
Maybe 50 Cent. They weren't that expensive. How much were they?
Mal
Like a dollar for Playboy magazine? Yeah. When you think I was born in 1845.
Julian
How much were they?
Rory
Warrior was on you.
Damaris
Spoken about early 1800s in San Francisco.
Mal
You think I bought the first Playboy magazine ever published?
Julian
So how much were they in general?
Rory
Were five, six bucks?
Mal
Like six, seven dollars maybe. For a Playboy magazine?
Damaris
That's expensive.
Mal
Yeah, I wasn't paying for that. I just look at these titties right here and go home.
Damaris
But weren't they always in the plastic?
Mal
Yeah, but, you know, Aki used to have one over that was out.
Damaris
That was for him.
Mal
Yeah, he just came out the bathroom. You know how that go.
Rory
I don't know. My pops had Playboys and just.
Julian
My dad had a stack of them and I discovered them way before I should have.
Mal
I think I bought.
Rory
Justin used to have Buttman.
Julian
I'm sorry. I'm sorry.
Damaris
Who?
Mal
But that was the big black Butts.
Rory
Buttman magazine.
Damaris
Yeah, Buttman.
Rory
I believe it was Buttman. Google it. I think it was called Buttman or something like that.
Mal
It's a sick magazine to purchase.
Damaris
Oh, it's 60 off.
Rory
It still exists.
Mal
Digital adult online magazine.
Damaris
It's all is. It's women.
Rory
It's just fat black asses.
Julian
Yeah, I don't like the way you said fat and black.
Rory
I was trying to. I was trying to imitate more when.
Julian
He said about my. I ain't like that.
Rory
It's okay. My cousin was white.
Damaris
I like that font.
Mal
It's okay. He's a white man.
Damaris
Buttman.
Julian
Okay, well, go check out Buttman. If you haven't shout out to them.
Mal
Buttman, just open up Instagram.
Julian
Yeah, these little ass booties.
Mal
No, that's a nice ass right there.
Julian
They're nice, but they're not like, I wouldn't.
Damaris
That's a nice photo. It's featuring Tabitha.
Rory
They had. They had the greatest natural asses ever.
Julian
Yeah, they're like natural, like, nice asses, but they're not like fat asses.
Rory
Well, we like natural. It's our preference.
Julian
Everyone calm down. I just assume that if it was called Buttman, that it would be like really big. Like, you know.
Mal
It's some big old asses in there, though.
Rory
Damaris. This was also late 90s.
Damaris
That's a fun part.
Rory
Early 2000s. Like, yeah, these were the fattest asses. Go. Go to the Bootylicious video. There's not very. By these standards. It's not very.
Damaris
There's not a thong in Cisco's Thong Song.
Julian
People used to. Yeah, them fat ass thongs. People used to say that JLO had a fat. And like, I look back now and I'm just like, where. Where was the fat ass that JLo?
Rory
And this was the time when JLO had.
Mal
Nah, JLO had a fat ass at one point. Now she's on her super Pilates workout shit. So it's a little more, you know. But go check that. The movie Anaconda. She had a nice. She had a nice fatty little bumper.
Damaris
Yeah, for sure.
Julian
Ma, would you do Pilates with me?
Mal
Pilates?
Julian
It's very. It builds strength. You might be crying by the end of it.
Mal
I tried Pilates a couple times. That is tough. That's something you got to consistently do. Oh, yeah, that's tough. I don't know. That's not fun for me. Let's do something fun.
Julian
Like what?
Mal
Pilates, ain't it?
Julian
Okay, but so, like, what, like, what workout would be fun to you?
Damaris
We should do a boxing class together. They're fun.
Rory
We could just. We don't need to go anywhere.
Mal
I know Julian can't throw his hands.
Rory
Let's just get some mitts and do it right here. Okay.
Julian
No, you gotta go right themselves.
Mal
Gotta go to real boxing gym. Get the pads.
Rory
Go to World Boxing Gym in Jersey City.
Mal
Yeah, let's do it.
Julian
I used to take kickboxing classes. It was.
Mal
It was kickboxing.
Julian
Yeah. It helped a lot with my anger.
Mal
You okay?
Julian
Yeah, I am. Since that's a kickboxing.
Mal
All right, cool.
Rory
Before. Before Amara, when I was. Was at World all the time boxing, they also have, like. Obviously MMA is taking over a lot of boxing gyms because it's more trendy now. Anytime I'd be on the heavy bag and they MMA guys would be next to me, they'd be like, yo, like, I'll teach you, like, a few kicks. I wish that was on camera. Me trying to attempt to do the kicks that the MMA fighters do. I could throw my hands. Don't get me wrong.
Mal
Yeah.
Rory
If you need me to lift my knee up, up.
Mal
Nah, can't do it.
Rory
I almost broke my chin, foot and knee. Every time I try to do those MMA kicks. I respect to all you MMA people kicking a heavy bag, the craziest thing.
Damaris
My shin would shatter.
Mal
Yeah, that is not. That's nothing to play with. All of those type, like, boxing, fighting, that is not nothing like you. It's a different respect that you have for those fighters. When you go to one of those gyms and try working out like they do. That is insane, bro.
Rory
MMA might be the toughest sport ever.
Mal
Easy, easily. Like, easily the.
Rory
They do just at a regular boxing gym.
Mal
Yeah.
Rory
They're doing flying knees into heavy bags.
Mal
Boxing is tough, but now I gotta watch out for this right foot coming to my jaw too. Like, nah.
Rory
And I gotta take punches with your five ounce little pad.
Mal
Yeah. No.
Julian
Yeah.
Mal
That was crazy. It's tough.
Rory
Julian got a Kanye west album this year and is also going to get a J. Cole album this year as well. I know he is beside himself. I think that's why he's letting the curl go lower, getting ready for his. His two goats.
Mal
His two goats.
Rory
One curl for each first quarter, second quarter. Because I feel like this, this cold album is going to come pretty quickly. For those that don't know, Cole put out a teaser on the Dreamville Twitter. His Twitter. They started. I think their own account. Might delete later. Nothing was deleted. I'm just a snippet.
Damaris
You're a hater.
Rory
How am I a hater? I thought that was very clever. Might delete later. I get it. I'm on the Internet.
Mal
Yeah.
Rory
I'm on the socials. Like the guy that found out black people like sneakers. What do we think?
Mal
Well, the snippet sounded good.
Rory
Sounded great.
Mal
The bars J. Cole was spitting sound good. The beats sound hard. So, yeah, I'm looking. I'm definitely looking forward to. Anytime J. Cole has a project dropping, I look forward to it. Obviously, he's one of the best rappers we have right now, one of the best artists of his generation. And it's just always good to hear what Cole has to. Has to present to the ecosystem of hip hop. I will say this, though. It's a lot for me riding on J. Cole's legacy with this album, though, I agree. J. Cole needs. He needs a definitive classic album. He needs one. I love Forest Hills Drive. To me, that would be his definitive classic.
Rory
To me, I. Yeah, personally. But I see if someone's arguing and saying it's not one. Yeah, I think it is. But.
Mal
But J. Cole, he needs that. He needs that one definitive. There is no MC that can touch this album, that can make this album. He needs that one album in his. In his discography.
Rory
Well, I think why it's so important. And this is on some like, Petty fan competitive rap shit. The last Kendrick album, which I like. I think pretty much everyone would rank at the bottom of his discography.
Mal
Which one was that?
Rory
Morale.
Mal
Mr. Morale.
Rory
I liked It a lot. Don't get me wrong.
Mal
Yeah.
Rory
But I would still, as an objective Kendrick film, put it at the bottom of the list. I think it was the first time Kendrick showed that he wasn't like perfect with every song that he makes. It was the first time that I felt like there was like some skips or things that maybe just didn't need to be there.
Mal
It's weird that you say that because I thought that was his most. His album that most played and felt like a. A complete story, most cohesive. Like to me that.
Rory
That sure. No. And it told the story with the double disc. And I do like that album a lot. I think I had it at number one or two whenever we did our year end wrap up. Yeah, I still listen to it still. If you're looking at Kendrick's whatever line chart would be, every single thing he does just goes up, up, up. This kind of plateaued a bit. I don't think the production was the same. Of course it told the story. Maybe that wasn't the point, but I feel like it showed some chink in his armor.
Mal
Okay.
Rory
Drake is Drake. He's a pop star. People are going to hate him and love him no matter what. He's just in a different category. Cole's kind of been the only one drifting where he can make a statement now with the big three. If this is an out of the park home run album, I think he is now in that number one slot debate when it was always like, Drake, Kendrick, Drake, Kendrick. We love Cole, but it's Drake, Kendrick, Drake. To me, if Cole delivers on this one, he's in that argument that he is could be number one.
Mal
I just want Cole just to give us that one album where there is nobody that can sit anywhere and debate that this is a classic project because.
Rory
They'Re going on the second half of their careers. And it's if Cole, as we've seen in my opinion, for the second half of all three of their careers has been the star as far as verses when he's been doing his features. I love the last project. I love kod like he's been the star for this.
Mal
The last one was off season. Right? Yeah.
Damaris
Which is fire 2021.
Mal
Yeah.
Rory
Which was fire. He's been the star, in my opinion for second half career. And I think this could solidify that and have a different conversation where we were doing the Drake and Kendrick number 1 1A, 1B. Cole was right there. Big three situation. I just think he separates himself. If he delivers on this one the way you're saying like a all out complete classic. Not a single skip changes how we listen to. And what a perfect climate to do it in. Yeah, it's a awful climate.
Julian
So if the album is perfect right in the, in the eyes of people who should be. Their opinions should be respected and rap, if the album is perfect, if it doesn't, if it doesn't go top five, it doesn't hit number one, number two, number three, if it isn't as commercially successful as we should say, as we would say a classic would be, is it still considered a classic? Would you guys?
Mal
Yeah, I don't, I don't look at commercial success in, as a, as a validation of a classic album. I think that it's just all about, you know, with the mc, the artist, and the way they put together the album, the production, the lyrics, the sequencing. Like, you know, a classic project when you hear it, like it's something about it that you'll never forget. When this album dropped, like, it just has that energy around it where it's like, okay, this is something that this artist took probably their entire life making. And I know that, you know, J. Cole, this is, I believe, this project he's been working on for a while. And I do think that he's in tune enough and he sees people on the Internet and what they're saying about him and, you know, his career so far. And I do think that he knows that most people don't feel like he has a classic album yet. And I think he needs that just for his own, his own reasons that he needs that he's such a great emcee and a great artist, that he needs a classic album, a definitive. Yo, this is forever in the staple of hip hop. Like you're gonna keep playing this album if you love hip hop, but I.
Julian
Think because hip hop has. Hip hop has evolved so much and grown to encompass so many different elements now, I don't think an album will ever come out that's going to be a classic to the masses. I don't know if that'll ever happen again. Are you seeing what I'm saying? Because there's so many different type of hip hop fans, so.
Mal
Nah. A lot of this new ain't hip hop, though. We gotta, we gotta call it something else. A lot of this that these, these kids is doing now, that's not hip hop. But I'm not mad at it. Whatever it is that they've created and that they've able, they've been able to build is, is dope for Them, but we don't. We don't have to. And we shouldn't call it hip hop though because it's not. And it's okay. Like it's not. That doesn't. It's not demeaning that art form that they're. They're creating. But it's not hip hop.
Rory
But I still think that stands on Damaris's point overall. Doesn't necessarily even have to be hip hop. It's tough. Classics don't really happen anymore. That's not on what's currently happening. Just the back to climate that we're in. It's tough to have a classic when things move so fast and it's so microwave and how we approach anything so well. Even her point. I take hip hop out of it like this classic happen anymore. Classic music. Yeah. To put out a classic on in any genre. Yeah, absolutely.
Julian
Classic.
Mal
Yes, of course it is.
Rory
I'm not mad at eventually absolutely looking like a classic.
Mal
Absolutely. SOS is a classic. Don't look like it. That's a classic album.
Rory
Okay.
Mal
I'm not arguing you can make a classic. I just think that I'll read.
Rory
Redo that outside of R B because I do think you can make R B classics. Right. Can you make it classic in other genres Besides R&RB?
Mal
I believe so.
Rory
When was the last classic hip hop album?
Mal
The last classic hip hop album.
Damaris
I always just think of Good Kid Mad City to you.
Mal
That was the last one.
Damaris
I'm sure there's obviously put it a lot of amazing albums since then. But first thing that pops into my mind, I still remember where I was when I first listened to that. To the point you made earlier.
Mal
But see you asking me that and I can only speak for me and my taste. I think that my taste level is. Is a very exquisite taste level when it comes to music and art.
Rory
Talk about your palette.
Mal
I think Pray, Pray for Haiti. My comedy is a classic album.
Rory
I can see you from a. I'm saying across the board.
Mal
But that's what I'm saying.
Rory
Asking me and we've had this conversation. I'm talking about like when Urban Outfitters prints that album cover on T shirts like that classic album. And I'm not saying Urban Outfitters decides it. But you know what? I'm the masses. Even if you don't even like the album, you got to sit there and be like, I mean, yeah, it changed the world.
Damaris
I. I mean I've said Daytona. I still think is a flawless album.
Rory
I think it's flawless too. I don't know if that would be in the same.
Julian
Masses aren't going to call that a classic.
Rory
Yeah.
Damaris
So views.
Rory
I think it is.
Julian
Yes.
Damaris
But this is a classic.
Rory
I don't know if people bring it up in that conversation. And again, we've had this combo. I just think we're setting Cole up for failure and even having that type of combo, because I just don't think we're in a world where classics happen like that. No matter what you put out.
Mal
I think that Cole is. I do agree with you. It's harder these days to make a classic because we get so much music every week. And classics usually come from having time to sit with it and live with it and move around with it and things like that. You can't escape the music. I think music is very easy to escape these days because we have so much of it. So we don't have to live with certain music, but for so long because we got a whole new wave coming in in the next however many weeks. So I. But I do think that Cole is an artist that is very capable, even in this climate, of making a classic hip hop album. I think he cares about hip hop enough. I think he pays attention to detail enough. I think that he's calculated enough. I think that he's somebody that just understands timing, and I just think that he understands his place in hip hop as well. So I think when you have. When the artist has all of that in their favor and understands who they are, I think that they're in tune enough to make a classic project.
Rory
I agree.
Mal
So, I mean, I'm hoping that this is. I'm hoping that this is the classic for J. Cole, because, again, I just feel like he deserves that. He needs that. He's capable of creating that. And I would just love to have that one definitive classic from him just to keep going back to and keep living with. And I think that this is. This is the perfect setup for him.
Rory
I think he can have a classic amongst his core, which. His core, you know, sells out the Garden for a week. It's a big core fan base.
Mal
Yeah.
Rory
I think why Cole has survived for so long outside of his actual talent is that that his fans grew with him. His fans are now like him, that have kids and a wife, and he raps about that type of shit. He's grown with his fan base. Not saying he doesn't have younger fans, but I don't see him talking about young on this project. I think it could be a classic amongst his fans.
Julian
Yeah.
Rory
And to the whole world. I don't even know if that's actually humanly possible to where music is right now. But I think amongst us people that. That grew up on Cole love. Cole love rap. Yeah. I. I think he would be the one to put out a classic album this year. And he is the best rollouts ever. And he's already saying, this is like Reasonable Doubt. If hov put it out last. Like, he's.
Mal
All right now, Cole. See, this is where. This is where.
Rory
I don't think Cole's saying that unless he really feels confident about it.
Mal
Yeah, but.
Rory
And he's. He's admitted how insecure he is sometimes with his music.
Mal
Yeah.
Rory
So if he feels this confident to get that bar off.
Mal
Right.
Rory
And he's the rollout king, in my opinion.
Mal
Right. I hear you. Now, now, now, when that album dropped, and it don't feel like Reasonable Doubt put our last. See, this is. This is where the problems come in at. You know what I'm saying? It's like, all right, you said all of this. You made this bold statement. You put the nice little, you know, trailer out, and, you know. But once we heard the rest of that song, it wasn't really hitting like that. And then we got to the next track, and it didn't even. That wasn't good. So then you could. He could fall into that very.
Julian
Has that ever happened with Col, though?
Mal
I'm just saying it's possible. I'm just saying it's possible. I hope not, because I think that Cole is. You know, he's dope enough to avoid those pitfalls in his album. But, you know, I'm just. I'm just. I'm looking forward to this because I really want that album from Cole. That one definitive like, yo, y'all cannot fuck with this dude.
Julian
I feel like. Is it the album that makes that, though?
Mal
Yes.
Julian
I feel like Cole has been out rapping n For a long time.
Mal
Yeah, but out rapping, nigga. You know, making songs and making songs and putting together a full album is a whole different thing. Which is why when you're considered the greats, you gotta check those boxes. Like, a lot of the greats can rap, and a lot of niggas that ain't great could rap, but they're not great because they don't put out great music. They don't put out great albums. They don't stand the test of time. They don't know longevity. You know, it's like, there's a lot of things that go on. J. Cole has been around for years. He's been putting out music for years. He's been relevant for years. Anytime he pops out, he's making noise, he's shaking shit up. Like. And then you see him riding his bike down Madison Avenue. Like, he's just a. You know what I mean? Like, he has a lot of that allure with him where it's like, yeah, he's one of the biggest rappers ever, one of the most successful, you know, did something where he only put out. He put out an album, no features that had amazing success. A lot of artists can't double play. A lot of 90% of these artists rely on features. He showed us in the climate that I could put out an album by myself, and it's gonna stand up and be number one, and I'm gonna stream a shitload of records and shit like that. Like, he was able to do a lot of things in his career and still not lose sight of who he really is. Like, he didn't fall victim to the fame and the celebrity and things like that that we see rappers do time in and time out. So J. Cole's a special artist. So I just think that he's somebody that deserves. Special artists, deserve special albums, and he deserves a classic album. So I'm hoping that. That this is it.
Rory
I'm with you.
Damaris
Yeah.
Rory
Julian, thoughts? I know you're.
Julian
He's in the camp.
Damaris
Yeah. Like, there's so. I. There's so little I can say. I just. I don't want to look. It's their rollout. I'm not gonna say anything ahead of what they have planned, but. But it's. Look, it's. It's great. They're so calculated, I think, to compare, like, what Cole does with Drake. Cole is just as online and Internet savvy and present on the timeline as Drake. I think what Drake suffers from is he tries to encapsulate those moments and. And capture them in his music and make that who he is. To present younger, I think Cole is hyper aware of all these things, but he doesn't let it affect his art. And when he does borrow from, like, the younger culture, it's very meticulous and less about him sacrificing the kind of music that he would want to make. So I just think they're both in tune, but they operate and create differently. And I prefer the style that Cole creates, like, the conceptually what he's doing with this album. From conversations I've had in the past, it's very, very interesting. And if he hits it the way in which I'VE been told, like, the. The pitch and. And all that shit. It has potential to be a very fun, like, uptempo and just the potential to be a classic in my regard.
Mal
No, he's definitely like, I love everything that Cole does. I love how calculated he is. I love, you know, that he doesn't fall victim to a lot of the, you know, online Internet shit. He's like. It's like he's operating. He's on a current iOS with an.
Damaris
Older phone, and he works so fucking hard.
Mal
Yeah, like, he's on a current iOS, just has, like, the third iPhone, like, you know what I mean? It's like he's like one of those guys where it's like he knows what's going on, but he doesn't jump into that.
Damaris
The verses I've heard. And again, they've been making this album for so long, who's to say any of them are going to be on it? But the stuff that I heard that was even from the album, stuff that I've heard from Cole, that's. That's not out. That's not even on his album. Like, he's in very good rap shape. Yeah, he's going to.
Rory
I don't think anyone would.
Damaris
Yeah.
Rory
Argue that over the past.
Damaris
It's like, four years. Saying isn't, like, groundbreaking, but it's like, he is rap ready. It's.
Mal
Oh, no.
Damaris
He's so little I can say. But, yeah, he's good to go.
Mal
All right, so shut the up. No, he's right. He's like. He stay. He stays in rap.
Damaris
Strong tailwind.
Mal
Yeah, no, he's good. He's gonna catch a crazy tailwind when he drops this album.
Damaris
Put out a platinum.
Mal
But, yeah, man, I'm just. I'm looking forward to it, man. Because J. Cole, I appreciate him as an artist, and I don't take, you know, light to the fact that we have an artist like this in this climate. This is the type of hip hop and the type of rap that I listen to, that I grew up on, that I appreciate. So whenever these type of artists come around and they say, all right, we dropping, I'm paying attention because I feel like this is specific for the type of fan that I am.
Rory
It's a moment in time, not to be corny. Same way when Drake drops same, when Kendrick drops same. When Travis drops same. When Future drops. It's a moment in time. Time, like, we all stop. And I appreciate those type of moments. So I'm excited. Before we move on, are you going to address what he said in that trailer. I believe you guys owe him some money.
Mal
What did he say?
Rory
Something about a label still owing him some money. And if my calculations are correct, he was only signed to one label.
Damaris
And you guys also, like, own the government and, too.
Rory
That's true.
Damaris
Yeah.
Rory
Sway the vote.
Mal
Yeah.
Damaris
Rock the vote.
Mal
You hear me? Like, hip hop is a. Is a dirty game. Game.
Rory
Caesar's Palace.
Mal
Yeah, Square. It's a dirty game.
Damaris
Maybe that's where he'll drop the album.
Mal
Yeah. Yo, J. Cole, my bad. If your money went into the news, into the new casino. You know what I'm saying? Yeah. Like, yo, they didn't. They didn't.
Rory
My limit's 2500 per day.
Mal
Yeah, that.
Rory
That.
Mal
You know what I'm saying? That budget went to, like, the new casino. Like, you know, I'm sorry you had to be a victim of that, but, you know, you'll be all right.
Rory
Sorry. Born sinner went into the slots.
Mal
Yeah, yeah, yeah. You'll be all right, though, man. But shout out to Cole. Shout. Yeah, he'll be all right, though. Shout out to Cole. Shout out to Dreamville. Definitely looking forward to that album drop. Young Jeezy. Yes, Young Jeezy. Tiny desk. You know, some things that happen in life that you don't think that you needed to see or hear. And if somebody was to say, yo, Jeezy about to do a tiny desk, it's like, okay, interesting, because this is Jeezy. We know his catalog. We know, you know, he's a legendary artist, legendary rapper. Very few artists came into the game and created the demand and created the, you know, the following and the cult following that Jeezy created. So for him to be doing a tiny desk performance, very intimate instrumentation with that type of content, with that type of rap, it just sounds like something that could be good, but it also sounds like something that can go really bad. Now, if, you know, Tiny Dess, they're not gonna let things go bad. It may not be what you think, but it's not gonna ever go bad.
Rory
And they'll suggest a musical arranger.
Mal
Yeah.
Rory
That can get.
Mal
They'll get. They'll get a musical director with you and help you to, you know, put together the best performance possible.
Rory
And who knows? Jeezy might have used his guys.
Mal
He's performed with orchestra before. Yeah. So he has that under his belt. He has that Defico musical, you know, that knowledge of his catalog. He knows what sounds good with what. And this. This tiny desk, this Jeezy tiny desk is. I just think it's a testament of what music is supposed to be. And to blend, you know, this content and this artist with violins and, you know, strings and things like that. I just thought it was really, really dope. It was. It was put together really well. Jeezy sounded. Sounded dope. Some of those records. Some of my favorite records of his, you know, and with this rendition, makes you love it even more.
Rory
The string arrangement on Go Crazy was.
Mal
Yeah.
Rory
Top. Top five.
Mal
Yeah, that. That was. That was beautiful.
Rory
I used to do that at LaGuardia High School.
Mal
Yeah. So that was dope. So shout out to another dope. Tiny Desk. I love Scarface's. Was it two months ago, Face put his out.
Rory
I feel like juvie kind of set the bar for old heads. No, not. Because Tiny desk has been doing. They did all of wu Tang.
Mal
Yeah.
Rory
10 years ago. Like, they do legacy acts with live instrumentation. That's not crazy. I think juvie just put out to, like, the timeline. That Tiny Desk can do this type of stuff, and it's.
Mal
Yeah.
Rory
Gonna be okay.
Mal
Yeah.
Julian
Juvies was absolutely insane. Was this better than were on the same part as juvie?
Rory
I want to say yes. I feel like that's a little blasphemous because juvie was crazy, but I think it's on the same level. Yeah, but maybe because that could be an age thing. Because of course, I love juvenile, but I didn't, like, grow up, grow up on juvenile. I went back to juvie. I grew up on Jeezy. So I think it just hit a little differently for me hearing the songs in this capacity in this. This format. Yeah. So I would say yes, but I would totally understand if someone was like, you're nuts. That juvie one was one of the best tiny desks ever.
Mal
This tiny desk, this ju. This Jeezy tiny desk is like when, you know, you in high school and the. The. The dude that's always cutting school and sells drugs and all the girls like him, he's never in class. This sounds like he just bumped into, like, one of the classrooms where, like, the musical kids was jamming.
Rory
Yeah.
Mal
And he just started getting his shit off. Like, that's what this tiny desk felt like. And it worked. It was everybody in the snowman T shirts fire. You know what I mean?
Rory
It's like when Scarface ran into Mike Dean.
Mal
Exactly. Exactly. When Scarface ran into Mike Dean, it's like, here's this musical genius with another musical genius that just, you know. You know, I could just tell you what I'm thinking, and your brain Computes it in a way where you just make it make sense with keys and strings and things like that.
Rory
So, though, can I be a little negative?
Julian
I love negativity.
Rory
Okay. Not negative. Pessimistic. Cousin of negativity.
Julian
Okay.
Rory
I love that they are doing more of the legacy stuff. Of course, they've been doing it for quite some time, but Tiny Desk, too. I wouldn't say it's discovery per se, but artists got to a certain level where, like, the nerds knew them, and then Tiny Desk would put them on a platform that everyone would watch.
Julian
Yeah.
Rory
Feel like they've been focusing and putting a lot of promotion behind superstars. Yeah. Like, I love the Usher one, love the juvie one, love the Jeezy one. I love all of that. But I still love Tiny Desk for what it is. There is some music discovery involved in it. You have to be established to be on Tiny Desk. Don't get me wrong.
Mal
Yeah.
Rory
But to a novice fan that just likes music, you're getting the cream of the crop of the new artists.
Mal
Yes.
Rory
Like, that sometimes is their first big shot on YouTube.
Mal
Yeah.
Rory
Is based off time.
Mal
Yes.
Julian
They're still there, but they're still doing them. They're just not.
Rory
I know.
Damaris
Not on the timeline.
Rory
The promotion's not the same.
Damaris
Well, yeah, because it's not cheesy.
Rory
I think I get that. I'm being. I'm being a pessimistic.
Julian
I think the promotion is the same, but we take things and run with it. So, like, they might promote every artist, but we're gonna take Jeezy and we're gonna put it all over the timeline. That's not on them.
Damaris
Four weeks ago, they dropped Black Odysse. We had Black Odyssey on Do A. My karma is beautiful.
Rory
It's like they bit from us.
Julian
Yeah.
Damaris
Yeah, exactly. But, like, they. My point is they are doing artists of that caliber. But, yeah, obviously, if you throw a name that's that big, it's going to trend. I like, so often in hip hop, we talk about aging horribly and how shitty these people are just aging out of the game. I love these moments. Tin has done a good job of it, of showing how hip hop can age gracefully. And that's always my favorite thing about, like, the Jeezy one, the Scarface one, like, all the. The older legacy guys is like, this is cool. This is what hip hop should be.
Rory
Yeah.
Damaris
In your 40s, 50s, whatever. And it was fun. And the whole student crowd was. Howard kids. It was just a nice. Yeah, that's the kind of. I Like about these.
Mal
No, it was dope. Shout out to Tiny Desk for another dope installation. And if you haven't checked out the Jeezy Tiny Desk yet, definitely check it out. It has a very nostalgic but current feel to it. Yeah.
Rory
I sound like that hip hop fan that, like, knew about that artist. Then they went mainstream and I didn't like them.
Mal
Yeah, that's. That's why I said you stopped going to the shows.
Julian
Oh, I hate that.
Rory
Like. Oh, you guys are just on them now. Like.
Mal
Yeah. All right, cool.
Rory
I like the early stuff.
Damaris
The leak.
Julian
Oh, my God. Rory was like that. So bad with her. He was like, yeah, Gabby.
Mal
Gabby.
Julian
Like, you don't know her.
Rory
Her name was Gabby Wilson.
Julian
I know, I know.
Rory
She had a big song, too. She was on the VMAs as Gabby Wilson playing, like, Prince. Like, dressed like Prince. That's not hipsters.
Julian
But when everybody about her, he. Yeah, Gabby. He had to. He's. I think you still call her Gabby.
Damaris
What's she in your phone?
Rory
I say her.
Damaris
Was she saving your phone at.
Rory
I don't have her number.
Damaris
Is gab.
Mal
He doesn't have her number. Yes.
Rory
No gabs to it.
Mal
He doesn't have her number. He has Gabby's number. It's a different difference.
Rory
Imagine still having. First of all, that made me creepy. Because she was 14.
Mal
Yeah.
Rory
When she was Gabby Wilson.
Mal
Oh, but she was about, what, 19?
Damaris
Yeah, that's still very creepy.
Mal
Yeah, it is, but it's amazing. He worked in the industry.
Rory
I was working at labels.
Mal
Yeah, he was working.
Rory
I tried to. I tried to bring Gabby Wilson to Kevin Lyles when she. Before she was signed.
Mal
Kevin tell you get out my office?
Rory
No, he liked the record, but it just. She had a machine happening at that time already. That Kev was like, they got too much going on.
Mal
Yeah.
Rory
Right now. But yeah. I don't call her Gabby. I call her her.
Mal
Okay.
Rory
Like, I don't, like, hang out with her.
Mal
Okay. You don't have to convince me.
Rory
I'm trying to convince them.
Julian
Okay, not convinced.
Mal
We got any voicemails.
Rory
You've got mail.
Damaris
We do. I'm playing this one in the spirit of the conversation we had earlier about the. The girl best friend. If this falls in line, this is the reverse of that.
Mal
Love it.
Julian
All right, so I like an anonymous. But I have some friends who, like. So they broke up with each other. Right. So he. The main reason why he broke up with her. Let's say her name is Jay. He broke up with her because she has too Many bodies. And she hangs out with her exes, you know, and still used to do da, da, da, da with her with her exes. And now he broke up with her. So now he is just friends with her. But as they're being friends, they're still effing around with each other. As he would get, like, just, like, how he would get mad over with her other friends. Like, now he turned into the dude who she. Or who he used to get mad at. Like, isn't that so dumb? Or like, am I tripping? Because they keep asking me, like, like, oh, like, there's nothing bad about this. Like, we're just friends. Friends now. Like, we said, boundaries. Like, what type of friend sets boundaries and still asks them, sleeps with them, hangs out with them constantly? Oh, she wants him. He used to get mad over these dudes that she used to hang around with that were her exes, yet now he is that ex. Like, tell me how that makes sense.
Mal
Well, it makes sense. Your friend's a.
Julian
How. Wait.
Rory
Yeah.
Julian
Wait, hold. Wait, hold on.
Mal
She had a current boyfriend. She was still seeing her exes and sleeping with them.
Rory
Yeah.
Julian
I didn't think she said that she was still sleeping with her, because I.
Rory
Think she was definitely.
Mal
Exactly.
Julian
I thought she said she was so cool with her ex, she was cool.
Mal
With them still fucking them. Yeah.
Rory
And then this guy naturally broke up with her and saw her for who she was.
Mal
I could still get the benefit package, and I don't have to subscribe.
Rory
Yeah, I'm not going to wife you, but, like, I'll keep fudgeing if you want.
Mal
Like, if all I need is Wi Fi, why am I going to fucking get cable?
Damaris
Yeah, 18.
Mal
Get a fire stick. Duh. She's a fire stick.
Damaris
They jailbroke her pussy.
Mal
Yeah, she's a fire stick, everyone.
Rory
I'm. I'm more confused by. By this woman being confused about the situation.
Damaris
Also, do you think it's her?
Mal
Yes, it's her.
Damaris
Yeah, that's what I was saying. I thought that, too. The way she explained it, she was like, let's call her Jazz, which had nothing to do with anything. We didn't mention the name again.
Mal
Yeah.
Damaris
You just threw this on a random person.
Mal
Yeah, no, it's her. It's definitely her. It's definitely her.
Rory
And, like, how do you not realize if I'm dating you and you're cheating on me and your exes talking to your exes, I'm not cool with that. When we're in a relationship relationship, let's break up. But if you want to continue to fuck, I mean, yeah, just hit me. Whenever. When you're horny, let's do it. And then you get in another relationship. I never said I was on a moral high ground. I just said I don't want to be cheated on.
Mal
Exactly. Nothing wrong with that. Yeah, I like. I like that. I like that. I liked his formula. Like, take me out of the boyfriend. I don't have those. Those responsibilities of being a boyfriend, add.
Rory
Me into the fold.
Mal
I still get all the benefits of having great sex with you.
Rory
Just add me to the roster. I was. Matter of fact, I was your boyfriend in part of a roster. I don't want to be. Just put me on the roster.
Mal
Yeah. Stop making me look stupid. But give me the same sloppy toppy.
Rory
That you add me to the fold as everyone else. I wear two condoms and we'll be fine. Yeah, not me.
Mal
Of course not you. We know.
Damaris
Have you guys done that? Have you dated a girl, broken up with her, and then just was like, well, you still have good sex.
Rory
I think every human being on earth has probably done that.
Julian
That's kind of my like.
Damaris
But, like, how serious were you? Dead.
Mal
Well, that's.
Julian
Yeah.
Damaris
Damaris.
Rory
Yeah, I think every.
Julian
No, that's why I'm like. I feel like Shorty. Like, I don't know. That voice sound familiar? I think she might be being funny, but it's cool.
Rory
I'm pretty sure every person that's not a virgin has their ex after they broke up at some point. Not every. Not every ex, but, like, I've done.
Damaris
Like, the closure sex. I've never been like, damn. Well, this isn't a real relationship anymore, but let's continue to. I have. I don't do that. I haven't done. At least not with someone I've been serious with.
Mal
With. What is. What is closure sex?
Damaris
Like, we're breaking up. This isn't going to be a thing. Like, let's. And then I'm leaving.
Mal
Cut it out.
Rory
Let's cut the closure sex. Let's cut this to more sex.
Damaris
Yeah.
Mal
There's no such thing as closure sex.
Julian
You try to have closure sex with me, baby, I'm pulling out some stops you ain't never seen before.
Mal
And that's just going to start another argument. Cuz. Who taught you?
Rory
Why the.
Mal
Now, who taught you that?
Damaris
Why would you wait.
Julian
Taught me.
Mal
Who taught you that shit? Easy. Like, you ain't never throw your leg up in the soap dish when I was you before. Now where are we at? Yeah, like, all over. The house, kitchen, bathroom. They put your foot up there. Now you doing all that other. See, that's how. That's how you end up with another. Another argument, closure. Sex is not real.
Damaris
It is real. I. I just did it. It's not real six months ago.
Mal
And if she wants to get back with you, you'll get back with her.
Damaris
No, cuz I. Because I wouldn't. Cuz out of respect for her. Because I also ended it. So like, out of respect for her. I don't want to with her like heart and mental. I'm not going to go back and hit it and be like, Mr. Mr. Tailwind is gay.
Rory
He is Mr. Tailwind.
Mal
I don't wanna. I don't want to.
Rory
So you. So you've never slept with an ex after you guys broke up? Just lie to everyone?
Damaris
No, no, I have, Roy, I have. But it was just the one. It was like the goodbye, the breakup moment and then that was it. That was it, the break.
Julian
But did she go crazy?
Damaris
Yeah, actually, now that you say that.
Rory
You'Ve never struck me as a liar before. This is the first time in life that I've looked at you and I'm like, yo, Julian is actually lying.
Damaris
I'm not. Why would I lie about this?
Mal
Absolutely. All right.
Damaris
Exes. But it's never been like a routine thing. It's like, okay, this happened. We did it once for you. I can't continue to do this because I'm also the person that ended it.
Mal
Okay, here's a better question. Why did you end it?
Damaris
I'm the same excuse every time. I'm not ready. You know how that goes.
Mal
But you are ready though. Like, you're like.
Rory
It's not ready for her.
Julian
You don't even come to work.
Damaris
I'm never ready.
Mal
You're a relationship guy.
Damaris
I'm really not. I've been in two relationships.
Mal
Okay, you're the. Okay, you're date guy.
Julian
He's looking for a relationship now.
Rory
Two and a half.
Damaris
I want to be in a real relationship.
Rory
Half.
Damaris
I would consider the last thing I did was like a half.
Mal
Okay, so wait, you want to be in a relationship, right?
Damaris
Yeah. I too.
Mal
And she wanted to be in a relationship.
Damaris
Yeah. But more than I did.
Mal
So if you want to be in a relationship and.
Damaris
Well, it just wasn't the right.
Rory
He didn't want to be in a relationship with her.
Damaris
No, it wasn't. It really wasn't.
Julian
You don't want to be in a relationship with her. It's okay.
Damaris
No, because I really like her. I don't know. I don't. I have issues, so I gotta figure that out.
Mal
Oh, no.
Julian
You're telling me that one girl. We all know who Julia wants.
Damaris
Oh, yeah, well, that's.
Julian
Yeah, that's. He can't be with no other girl because he don't want that girl. She'll do.
Rory
But that other girl is based off ego. He don't. Once he gets that girl, he's not gonna like.
Mal
Was that London it?
Damaris
No. God, no. Oh, no. This is coffee. Coffee Walk.
Mal
Oh, Coffee Walk.
Damaris
We're texting again. We're reading the same book currently, but.
Julian
Tell them how I got you that back.
Mal
We're reading the same book. We're reading the same book. Yo, what is wrong with you, man? You're reading the same book. God damn you. In love. Love.
Julian
It's okay.
Mal
Yo. Whenever you read the same book as her. But it just happened. That doesn't just happen, Julian.
Julian
Everybody's reading that book right now.
Mal
Thank you.
Damaris
It's a popular book. I sent. I sent a photo. I didn't even send it to her. I posted it on my story, and she said, oh, I know you're reading that. She goes, I'm about 150 pages in.
Mal
What book is this?
Rory
To kill a mock.
Damaris
Oh, you're gonna call me.
Mal
The Hardy Boys.
Rory
Goosebumps.
Damaris
Oh, you're gonna call me gay. This is the COVID A Little Life.
Mal
Oh, that's what Franco want to cover, right?
Damaris
No, it's. It's really.
Julian
He does look like Franco.
Mal
That's not. It looks like him.
Damaris
No, but it's. It's a very up book, I guess, and it's sad, but. Yeah. We were texting about it yesterday. She said she cried yesterday reading it.
Mal
Did you cry?
Damaris
Not yet. I haven't gotten that far. I'm only like 130 pages in.
Julian
Yeah. You need to hurry up, because I want to borrow your.
Damaris
I'm playing catch up. She's like, at 280 now. It's a long book. It's like 500 pages. Some, but. Yeah.
Mal
So just another number one bestseller. New York Times. Because every book that comes out is a number one.
Damaris
Oh, yeah. Well, you know, Harry Potter, this game up. They made all these subsidiaries, subsequential lists because Harry Potter every year is the number one book.
Mal
Yeah.
Damaris
So they just were like, here's these names of other lists.
Rory
Yeah. Do you think if you end up up being with that girl, you'll feel the same way?
Damaris
I mean, I feel like a lot of it is like the. The ability to not. Yeah. That's.
Rory
It didn't work out when you liked her. And usually you're the one that ends things. She ended things. And she was honest with you about why she was ending things. She went to the wedding with the ex. And I think it's okay. I've been through the ego thing too. And the chase thing where you start to like someone more because of a chase. I'm just curious. Once you end up actually being with, if you're gonna feel the same.
Julian
But he.
Rory
If a little love can keep you all together or whatever it's called.
Julian
He really, really liked her before she even ended. He was. He was like in love with.
Rory
He really liked a lot of girls before too, then.
Julian
Yeah, not like her.
Mal
Yeah, okay.
Julian
Not like her. He really. I remember liked her, so. Huh.
Rory
But it wasn't. Yeah, it didn't last very long.
Julian
No, it was like what, six? Y'all had like a whirlwind six week romance?
Damaris
It was too fast. This was the last time we had sex. Was that date okay?
Mal
I don't think I needed to know.
Damaris
The date well, because it was. I. It was for after a show, so I just needed to see when the show was.
Mal
Okay. All right.
Rory
Don't lie.
Mal
You.
Rory
You have that date in a locket somewhere. You didn't. You didn't need to search the Nate Barghazi.
Damaris
All right, well, stamping time to it.
Julian
I saw you spin the block once. Do you often spin the block?
Damaris
Block?
Mal
Nah. That's why when I do and it don't work out, I don't talk to them no more.
Julian
But I saw you spin the block, so don't do that. We all.
Damaris
When you spin the block, do you want to get back with them or you just want to hit it?
Mal
Depends. It very. It's. It's subjective to who. Who it is.
Rory
When did he spin the block? Was that there?
Julian
You were there.
Rory
You.
Julian
You were there. You at work.
Mal
Yeah, but I haven't spun that. That block. I burnt that down. I might have threw four grenades on that block.
Rory
That's O block.
Mal
Yeah, that's. Oh block. That's old block. I didn't shot that up, ran through that, backed up, told homie not pull over, hopped out, let four more clips go. I didn't do all kind of that block.
Julian
I was talking so much. I was sitting up there, I was like, ain't that. Huh?
Damaris
How long ago is this?
Mal
A year ago, Almost two years now.
Rory
Two years?
Mal
Yeah, like two years ago.
Damaris
Damn.
Rory
I'm trying to. Trying to put the pieces together, but I can't remember.
Damaris
It wasn't here in New York.
Julian
No.
Mal
Okay.
Julian
But that's my business. But yeah, I just. I was gonna. I was gonna ask him if he spends the block, and I'm like, oh, no, I caught him.
Rory
You strike me as a block spinner, though. You don't really like, that was a.
Mal
Different time in my life.
Rory
I know, but in general, your personality seems like someone that would prefer people you've known rather than just random new people.
Mal
Oh, yeah, I don't.
Rory
Because I'm like someone that would. I would be a block spinner.
Mal
Well, only because I don't. I usually don't. Things between me and a woman don't usually end, like, on a bad note. So there's always room for, like, it'd just be my shit. It just be. Yeah, me like, I'm just not like.
Damaris
The end of Inception.
Mal
I'm not ready to settle down with this person. I don't want what she wants. And, you know, she want to live together. She want a kid right now. This. That I'd be like, whoa, whoa, baby, I don't even know. I don't even know what I'm wearing tomorrow. You talking about kids. Hold on now. Slow down now. But so, yeah, usually things don't end negatively, so there's room for block spinning. And then sometimes, you know, once things end negatively, it's kind of like, all right, let's. Let's just ride off into the small.
Damaris
Do you think the girl that you'll ultimately settle with is someone you already know or someone you've yet to meet?
Julian
Good question.
Rory
Is she in ninth grade right now?
Damaris
Is she Gabby Wilson?
Mal
No.
Rory
No. I'm giving you like a no.
Mal
She's not.
Rory
A 20 year difference when you actually meet her?
Mal
No. Hell no. I think it could be that was crazy. Somebody that I know. Maybe not necessarily adding things up. Maybe we haven't dated yet.
Damaris
You just know. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Mal
But we know each other. But we know each. Because I know a lot of cool girls like that. I've never dated, so it wouldn't surprise me if it ends up being that. But I feel like I definitely know the girl that I'm going to marry. Yeah, for sure.
Julian
Okay.
Damaris
Do you me?
Julian
If you would have asked me a couple years ago, I would have said yes. Now. No, I don't think that I've met that person. And that is scary for me because I'm queen. Spin the block. I will spin the. Till I'm dizzy. I hate new. I hate that are not already in Love with me. I do not.
Mal
You spun the block so, so, so much. One day we walked in here, we was all dizzy.
Rory
It's true. The studio was on the. The east side.
Damaris
Yeah.
Rory
Instead of the west side.
Mal
You like that, yom? You like that, yo?
Julian
Really? Yomi?
Damaris
Damaris is affecting the tide.
Mal
It was like, yo. Whoa. Is it winter solstice? What the fuck is going on here?
Damaris
It's a lunar new year.
Mal
We didn't know what was happening. Solar eclipse outside.
Rory
For the people that think that they've met the person they're going to be with or married. Do you guys have someone specific in mind or you just feel like you know the person that you've already met the person?
Mal
I. I would.
Rory
I said my place. Like, why not? Why wait if you know who that person is?
Mal
I have somebody specific, but it's just timing in where they're at.
Damaris
He's literally the same.
Rory
Okay, so now my follow up. I'm glad you answered that way.
Mal
No, but you actually.
Rory
What happens. What happens when they are not on the same waiting time as you and find someone else? Doesn't that derail all your plans?
Mal
No, no, I'm not saying I have plans. I don't have a plan. If I had a plan, I will be executing the plan.
Rory
No, the plan could be waiting until you feel ready, but you know the person of who it is. But that girl may not want to wait.
Julian
He might just have a feeling. It might not be a plan. He might just have a feeling.
Rory
But what happens when that girl gets swept off her feet at Whole Foods and, like, people divorce all the time.
Julian
People break up all the time. That ain't. I'm not worried about, like, if I have a person in mind that I want or that I think is my person, I'm not worried about who the they with right now. When the timing is right, as with this job, as with the people I have as friends, when is meant for me, I will get it. I don't give a who's in the way. God will take it and give it to me. So I'm not.
Rory
But what if God wants that person that she met at Whole Foods?
Julian
Well, then it's not meant to be.
Damaris
Yeah, but sometimes you have to create your fate.
Rory
But then if you're waiting on this, this time of, like, I know the person, but I'm gonna wait till the timing's right and. And you're not God, and God figures out something else for that person. What happens when you're 50 and it's like, well, that person is married with kids now.
Julian
Well, that wasn't the person for you at 50.
Mal
I'm gonna just pack it up though. So what?
Damaris
It's like a year from now.
Julian
Always want to turn 50. Dicks start being limp, then they want to go, yo, you know, all this time we got so much history, we built the friendship. Nah. Bye.
Mal
Flaccid your dig. 50 is crazy.
Rory
First of all, it's 2024. If you have a flaccid dick, just go to the corner store. Yeah, shoot a honey pack, you'll go crazy.
Mal
Just go get a massage down the block, you'll be fine.
Damaris
Talk about limb dick doesn't just dry out. It's like a sun dried tomato.
Rory
It's true.
Julian
Yeah, but there's things you can do for that. A sun dried to me.
Mal
Yeah, you spit on it.
Rory
You know, like dried out peppers. They look just like.
Damaris
Yeah.
Mal
What?
Damaris
Platinum.
Julian
Okay, but for example, you can use wet platinum.
Mal
Spit on that shit, you can use.
Julian
Wet platinum and the sex will feel the same. To an extent. Probably better.
Mal
Yeah, I don't know about that.
Julian
But a limp dick is a limp dick.
Damaris
There's always workarounds. Pump is crazy. That's sick.
Rory
Wait, but also if you're married at 50, that doesn't change the limp dick.
Damaris
True.
Rory
So what? Yeah, what does it matter if you're single?
Julian
Marry you?
Rory
If you want to get married now you have to deal with your husband with a limp dick.
Julian
No, but I had you.
Mal
Like sometimes your dick go limp because you got married.
Damaris
That's a fact. I don't know that from experience.
Rory
Two people that aren't married, but it.
Damaris
Sounds like a fact.
Julian
You got that from your parents?
Damaris
Probably. I don't know.
Mal
Yeah.
Damaris
Don't put that on my parents.
Julian
I didn't, I asked. You don't have any experience. I was just wondering if that's where you were.
Rory
Gazing to each other's eyes in the green room.
Damaris
My parents like is so gay. How much they're in love. It's annoying.
Julian
Have you ever caught them?
Damaris
No, I haven't.
Julian
I love that for you.
Mal
You have you ever. What?
Damaris
She asked me if I called.
Julian
You know, sometimes, like people whose parents stay together, you catch your parents having sex. Awful life to live.
Damaris
We just passed Valentine's Day and I had that thought. I was like, damn, this is the day I was conceived. It's weird.
Mal
You was conceived on Valentine's Day, like all.
Damaris
Almost. Almost a day off. I mean, what was a day off? What's it, February 14th. I was born November 13th. So almost to the day.
Rory
Valentine's Day. To conceive is too cliche for me.
Damaris
It's corny.
Julian
Too cliche for me.
Mal
Should have had you on Veterans Day.
Damaris
When is Veterans Day?
Mal
I don't know. It's just a good day to just conceive something.
Damaris
Arbor Day.
Mal
Arbor Day. Now, now.
Damaris
Now we're talking.
Julian
I just conceived on for.
Rory
I think Y. Yam Kapur would have been better for you.
Damaris
Kapur. Wait, Veterans Day is only two days before my birthday.
Mal
Oh, See? Knew you was a veteran.
Rory
Of what, though?
Mal
Of America. America. We have any other voicemails?
Julian
I would say. Did we give that girl any. Any advice? Mind your business.
Rory
She's the girl that she's talking about, and she's wrong. That's the advice.
Damaris
Okay.
Rory
She's wrong as.
Damaris
Here's a good one.
Rory
Hey, what's up, y'all?
Mal
So my question for y'all is, what is the craziest shit that somebody said to you during your childhood or maybe your teenage years that has stuck with you. You until adulthood? Like, for me, the first thing that comes to mind is this.
Damaris
This girl said to me in middle.
Mal
School, her name is Jamie Bogan. I still remember her name. Jamie, if you listen to this podcast, I hate you. Yeah. We were taking Arkansas history, and I came in one morning, and this did not say good morning to me or, like, what's up, ej? Straight up. As soon as I sat down, she said, I know you gonna be cute one day. Cause you ugly as right now.
Rory
Kind of sweet.
Mal
And that is, like. That still ring off in the back of my head sometimes, bro. And so I just want to know, what was a moment like that for y'all? Like, what was some crazy. Somebody said to you? Just out. Out the blue, unwarranted.
Damaris
That still sticks with you.
Mal
Appreciate y'all taking my question.
Damaris
Great question. I'm trying to think of some wild.
Rory
I don't know the. I to this day, don't know the person's name because I didn't really know them junior high. Somebody in, like, the middle of a roasting session of everyone that was present said, it looks like someone put a screen up to his face and threw through it. And that stuck with me for my entire life.
Mal
So that's about you.
Rory
Because I had freckles.
Damaris
Your freckles?
Rory
Yeah. And it got, like, the biggest laugh of the day.
Julian
I would have laughed.
Rory
Oh, I was. I was trying to be mad, but, like, in my head, I was like, that was kind of funny.
Mal
I. I don't have Nothing that somebody said to me that was crazy. That stuck with me for life. Maybe a teacher said something like.
Rory
I thought he was gonna get into, like, some profound. I started thinking that way. But once he brought it to that girl, I was trying to think of, like, family jokes.
Julian
Yeah. Because I. Everything that was said to me that I remember was probably, like, deep and family trauma.
Rory
Yeah. That's the direction I thought he was going. And then that girl. And I was like, oh, yeah. It was the time someone said they put a screen up to my face and threw through it.
Damaris
But that counts. Go that route.
Mal
Actually, I do remember a teacher said something one day. It was back when Drazan Petrovic used to play for the Nets. He had died in a car accident. And I was a big Nets fan. Big Drosin fan. And I remember came to school, we was all like, damn, Drazan died in the car accident. Everybody was sad. And the teacher was sitting there. We was reading the paper. But the teacher. The teacher was like, huh. Should have been Jordan.
Damaris
Damn.
Julian
Look what you remember.
Mal
And I remember as a kid, I was like, no. But, like, he was like, serious. I was like, what?
Rory
Like.
Mal
How do you say that with a group of kids at the table? Like. Like, should have been Michael Jordan. I. I would never forget that, because that was something. I was just like, yo, that was cra. I remember as a kid feeling like, yo, that was crazy to say.
Rory
Teachers are regular people.
Mal
No, he was a regular. But it's not like he said it and laughed and was like, no, I'm just talking. He said it and kept reading the paper. I was like, oh, yeah, this dude. This. This dude is. He's very wish. I do remember that.
Julian
What about your July in.
Damaris
I don't. There's not one single moment that comes to mind. I don't know. I'm really trying to think of, like, a funny one.
Julian
Yeah, I don't have any funny ones. I had a family member tell me when I was seven, I wasn't gonna grow up to be anything but a stripper.
Damaris
My brother always said I was adopted. That was a fun phase.
Julian
Oh, but that's just sibling.
Damaris
Yeah.
Julian
I still tell my sister that.
Mal
If you found out she was adopted, would you cry?
Damaris
I wouldn't. It wouldn't make a difference. I don't care.
Mal
What?
Damaris
How does it make a difference if.
Mal
You found out today that your parents are not your real parents? Marriage? You don't think that makes a difference at this age?
Damaris
It wouldn't make a difference if I was younger. Yeah. I'd probably be like, oh my God.
Mal
I don't think you're doing at this age, Julian.
Julian
If you found out you weren't fucking Lebanese, it would affect you. Please stop. Please fucking stop.
Mal
And if you found out that your mom wasn't your real mom, as much as you call your mom when a crisis happens. You've been calling the wrong person all this time.
Damaris
It doesn't take.
Rory
If you found out you were just a tan Sicilian Italian. Yeah, you'd be tight.
Julian
Who's a. Yo, you've been calling the.
Mal
Wrong person in the crisis. Yo.
Rory
There's, there's no way you would feel like, oh, it's whatever. If you found out, I would be curious.
Damaris
I would want to know.
Julian
You wouldn't be mad that your parents lied to you?
Rory
Yeah, you would have so many questions.
Damaris
35. Don't put that on my jacket. 35 years. I, I, I don't know.
Rory
I, you'd be mad that you weren't conceived on Valentine's Day.
Damaris
Well, my birthday's still my birthday.
Julian
You don't know that.
Damaris
Why are you guys trying to like Danny Almonte me? Like I know my.
Mal
You wouldn't notice that. What if they just.
Rory
Okay, but not everyone's born on the exact nine month time.
Mal
Yeah, you didn't know that.
Rory
Now it's not legitimately.
Mal
Now we got more questions. Now we got more questions.
Rory
Some babies are early, some babies are late. Like it wouldn't. Your adopted parents doesn't mean they on Valentine's Day and they probably were teenagers.
Mal
I could see right now up your life look at.
Julian
And your birth date might not actually be your birthday.
Rory
True.
Damaris
Yeah, it is.
Rory
And your date may not be.
Mal
You've been going through your mom's like closet and then you found like a old box with papers and it said adoptive agency and it said you on this date you adopted Eric. That was your real name. You adopted Eric. You found out your name is Eric and you were born in.
Rory
Not even now.
Mal
Cleveland, Ohio.
Rory
Like Geppetto or some. Yeah, some wild name. Because a 14 year old named you.
Mal
You were born in Cleveland, Ohio, by way of, way of, by way of Bali. Some crazy Bali. Okay, yeah, like that wouldn't change everything in your life.
Damaris
I mean now you're putting mad sauce on it. Yeah, this would change.
Mal
Well, I just said if your parents adopted you, that means you have a whole other.
Damaris
Like, I would probably want to learn. I'm curious.
Mal
Yeah, no, you would absolutely want to learn. But I'm just saying you would definitely you would Cry, though.
Rory
The way you're saying this would just roll off your shoulders like, oh, yeah, this cool.
Damaris
Mom and dad throwing Eric and Bali on my jacket. Like, I. I don't think my day. I would just be more curious and want to know the history.
Julian
Okay.
Mal
Like, what if your mom. What if your mom was, like, a crackhead stripper and she had you, but she couldn't take care of you, so she kind of. She gave you a for doctor?
Damaris
I would be like, thank you, because that would have sucked to growing up in that environment.
Mal
Yeah, see, yo, I know you. You wouldn't go look for her to, like, your real mother.
Damaris
A crackhead stripper that had a kid in the 90s. I would highly doubt that. She's rocking around today.
Mal
What? I know a bunch of crackhead strippers from the 90s that are walking around, around, doing just fine.
Rory
I went to meet one of my best friend's mothers with him when we were in high school, and she was a crackhead stripper.
Mal
Yeah. Sweet lady.
Rory
She was nice.
Julian
How was he doing? Like, are they still in touch?
Rory
Not really, but he wanted to meet her.
Damaris
She's still smoking crack.
Rory
I didn't see anything in the house, but it. It was. It was a house that you see.
Mal
Rory, you didn't see a pirate?
Rory
Like, well, I don't want to put that on it.
Mal
Like, I'm still on the tv.
Rory
Like, I feel like a lot. Like, I didn't see anything, but, like, it felt like an environment that crack would be welcomed in.
Damaris
You feel it in the air?
Mal
Yeah. You smell it, too.
Damaris
Do you guys see that video? The secondhand crack? Do you believe. Well, you don't even believe in secondhand high. Like, contact high in a.
Mal
In a room this big?
Damaris
No, I get extremely contact high. But I saw.
Rory
That's based off your adoption and mother.
Damaris
Sure. I saw a video of a guy smoking crack on the. On the subway, on the train, and he, you know, blew it out. And it was just like, people around, there's, like, getting secondhand crack. High has got to be insane. Yeah.
Mal
I don't know if I'm ever.
Damaris
See.
Rory
That's what I'm saying. Few times I've, like, like, been right there. When someone smoked crack, I immediately walked away. Like, I've. Yeah, I've never chilled to get contact time.
Damaris
No, but he hit it. But he, like, hit it. Like, I'll show you the video. Because he kind of hit it nonchalantly, and people like, oh, he's, like, smoking a cigarette. A vape. Yeah. And then you look and it's like, oh, no, that's a crack pipe. And it's. It's very funny. And you can just see the people, like, disperse and be like, what are we doing?
Mal
Yeah, that used to be. I remember my mom took me to the movie theater when I was a kid, and a guy right in front of us started smoking crack. My mom was like, yeah, let's go.
Rory
Which theater?
Mal
This was Lowe's paradise on. On a concourse on for 161. No, Fordham.
Julian
See, that had to be when movies was $4, because now movies is $30. I'm not leaving. If somebody starts smoking crap. You can either pass it or go do that in the bathroom. I'm gonna keep watching my movie.
Mal
Yeah, I remember that. I was scared of that. Had a flame size of this mic. That mic stand.
Damaris
Here it is. But the shitty thing is, is it's on the. The train's moving. They're not at a stop.
Julian
It's the math.
Mal
Yeah, he's a Marine. He doesn't give a.
Damaris
That's crack, bro. Air you're breathing in.
Rory
He's dealt with camel spiders.
Mal
That's nothing for him.
Damaris
You're breathing in crack air.
Rory
Yeah, I'm getting up, right? I'm not gonna make a scene. I'm just walking away. That's all.
Julian
So do you. I feel like secondhand crack smoke might be a nice high. Like, you might not get fully crackhead high.
Damaris
This is the most New York moment ever.
Mal
Yeah, he's a Marine. That haircut face, that haircut, that jawline.
Damaris
Marine, I gotta transfer.
Rory
But also, like, when crack smoke comes out, it's not like when Snoop smokes weed. Like. Yeah, it's not a whole cloudy.
Damaris
It was pretty cloudy crack, though.
Mal
That's how crack.
Damaris
But, like, look, that's a lot of. That's a significant cloud that the camera picked it up.
Mal
Yeah.
Rory
Because crack smoke is not that.
Damaris
That crazy, you know, from experience.
Julian
I don't know. I just feel like. I feel like that might be a nice high second or people who like to get high. I feel like that's, like the in between. Like, if you could shotgun crack.
Mal
I feel like, yo, the New York subway is such a different world.
Damaris
Shotgun and crack is hilarious.
Mal
Like, that world down there is like, we don't think about it or talk about it enough because we grew up, like, in it.
Julian
The underworld.
Mal
But, like, I could imagine, like, never experiencing the New York City subway and then one day coming to New York and riding the train and then getting off and be like, I'm never doing that again. Like I can see that.
Rory
Well, today was a new moment for me. I never thought in my life I'd be like, damn, I don't got service. Let me get on the train for Wi fi.
Julian
Yeah. That's wild.
Mal
That's. Oh, you wanted, you wanted to wi fi that bad that you was willing to ride.
Rory
Well, I was taking the train regardless.
Mal
Yeah. But let me hurry.
Rory
I walked a little faster down the street because the train had Wi fi.
Damaris
When my niece and my sister in law visited, we did like the Harry Potter world, all that. And we took him around the city. This probably cracker, this woman came up to my, my sister in law and he's like, I'mma kill you. She said to my sister in law. And I just like, I laugh. Left scarred. My niece, she hates New York.
Julian
Oh, she's 10.
Damaris
She was like terrified. And I was like, ah, it's fine. You'll get used to it. So it's how the city works. Like, I was like, you'll live here one day. Don't worry about it.
Rory
To answer that gentleman's question, that's going to be her answer. That's what someone said to you in your childhood. That'll never leave.
Damaris
Yeah, there we go.
Rory
Can we table that question? Because that was a great question. I want to think more about that one. Yeah, that was one of those I wish we listened to before.
Damaris
Yeah, that so, yeah. Yeah.
Rory
I don't want to sell his question short. I thought it was great. We can make that a topic. Whether it's Patreon or another episode. I want to think about that because that was a really good question. Even though he added in his childhood trauma to that girl. I thought she was kind of complimenting him though.
Mal
No, she might have been flirting a little bit.
Julian
I think she liked him.
Mal
That could be a little. That's. That's how little girls flirt.
Rory
She was probably quoting her mother. Yeah, I feel like her mom said that and she was just.
Julian
Yeah, yeah, I do. Kids do that a lot. And I didn't notice that I did that a lot till I look back. You quote a lot of shit your parents say.
Rory
For sure.
Mal
Yeah. That's where it all starts, right in the home. That's why they say, you know, you can tell a lot about a kid, how he's acting in school by what's going on in his house. It's real. He come in there dirty. His house is dirty.
Julian
Yeah, but you were bad as fuck and you weren't raised like that. That wasn't A reflection on your mother.
Mal
That was a reflection of me just growing up though. Like that's part of any young kid growing up is that you just bad. Like kids are bad. But I wasn't disrespectful, though. That's different.
Julian
Yeah, and there's a difference.
Mal
I was bad, but I wasn't disrespectful. I talk a lot in class, things like that. But I wasn't like selling crack hand in hand in the school hallway. Like I was.
Julian
Well, I mean there's a medium in between that.
Rory
But you were doing that outside though.
Mal
Yeah, that was not on school ground.
Rory
There was no real crack in the house.
Mal
That's a whole nother charge. Like. Yeah, you gotta do that away from school grounds. It's all avoid that charge right there.
Julian
You ever cussed out any of your teachers? Like cuss out your teachers?
Mal
No, no, I was like I said I wasn't disrespectful. I wasn't a disrespectful kid. I was bad, but I wasn't disrespectful. Like that's being. That's when you're bad. You cursing at adults. You're bad. Like that's a disrespectful kid.
Julian
I went off on one of my.
Rory
Teachers one time, like cursing.
Julian
I don't think I used a curse word, but I'm. I might have used one little curse word, but I went off on one little curse.
Mal
I wasn't doing.
Julian
I wasn't like cursing her out, but I was going off on her in.
Damaris
A curse word about what though?
Julian
She didn't. I wasn't being challenged in the class and because of that I would go to sleep. And I also have adhd, so if I'm bored I will, I will fall asleep as a coping mechanism. So she told me one day and I was a class clown and she told me one day that I was going to. I was going to fail her class and I was going to fail at life. This what happened when you go into inner city schools. I was failing her class and I was going to fail at life. That and I called her a wide battle back. I think I might have called her a white back and said that she was miserable because she got just high, low enough scores not to be able to actually teach real students like you. You couldn't be a university professor. You're teaching high school students in the inner city and get. And making about 35000 a year. And I think you're evil and mad.
Damaris
I had One moment like that with the teacher. He was on my old math teacher. I hate it because he always. He thought he was cool. He's the assistant basketball coach.
Julian
Oh, God, those.
Damaris
He was like homeboys with the cool kids. I'm like, you're. He was literally 5:3. And I like.
Rory
So he can't be cool.
Damaris
This foam. Like, there's no. No, he can't like off rip. Shut up. Yeah, you're short. Shut up. So no, he was in like a foam green shirt with like green pants and a green tie. And he was saying some dumb. And I was just. I was at the end of it, we were going. We were going back and forth actively throughout this. The class. And I. I think I called him grass clipping. I was like, shut up. You look like a collection of grass clippings things. And the whole class just fell out. And he was so mad at me.
Mal
Yeah.
Damaris
And then I was like, bet it's on. Because they. The whole class was already laughing. They're on my side. So I just unloaded on him. And then.
Julian
Because, you know, you were in trouble.
Damaris
I knew I was cooked anyway, so then he just threw a fit and like threw me out the class. It was one of the fun. I was very proud of myself.
Rory
I can. I can tell you guys on Patreon the time a teacher called my cell phone in high school and threatened to kill me. Even described how he was going to bury me. And then he became a full time teacher the following week.
Mal
Oh, I want to hear that story.
Rory
It's not. Yeah, I'll tell you guys on Patreon.
Mal
March 23rd, Howard Theater, DC. We will be there. Tickets available now newroariamal.com subscribe to the Patreon. Subscribe to the YouTube. Follow us on Instagram. Somebody has style. Tick tock login. I don't know who it is. Is. I guess we're on Tik Tok too. Damaris the Maris has a Tik Tok.
Damaris
I found a kid in LA that do it too. Yeah, yeah.
Rory
Where'd you find a kid in la?
Damaris
The kid that was at the house. The kid that I did the magic trick for. We have to share that video.
Rory
He. Yeah, he works at Avant Garden. You did.
Julian
You did the match magic trick.
Mal
Oh my God.
Damaris
This video.
Mal
Did he show it?
Damaris
Wait, let's.
Mal
We'll talk about it. We'll talk about Patreon. We'll talk about that on Patreon. We'll talk to y'all soon. Have a safe weekend. Be blessed. Be safe. I'm that he's just. Jeff. Ginger. Peace.
Julian
No worry about.
Podcast Summary: New Rory & MAL – Episode 245 | This Episode Is A Deepfake
Release Date: February 23, 2024
Hosts: Rory & MAL
Introduction
In Episode 245 of New Rory & MAL, hosts Rory and MAL delve into a variety of topics ranging from politics and technology to personal relationships and the evolving landscape of hip-hop. The conversation is lively, candid, and sprinkled with humor, making it both engaging and insightful for listeners.
1. Political Commentary: Trump’s Sneaker Line
Rory and MAL kick off the episode by discussing former President Donald Trump's foray into sneaker culture.
Rory (00:09): "Black support eroding from Joe Biden. True. This is connecting with black America because they love sneakers."
MAL (02:10): "Black people do love sneakers."
They analyze how Trump’s sneaker line attempts to transcend traditional politics by tapping into cultural elements, particularly sneaker culture within the Black community. The hosts debate the effectiveness of such strategies in garnering votes, highlighting the intersection of politics and pop culture.
2. Technology Troubles: AT&T Cyber Attacks and Airplane Wi-Fi Issues
The conversation shifts to recent technical disruptions experienced by the hosts, specifically mentioning widespread SOS alerts among AT&T users and connectivity issues during air travel.
They share personal anecdotes about navigating these challenges, such as Rory’s experience with losing phone service mid-flight and MAL’s struggles with airplane Wi-Fi, adding a relatable touch for frequent travelers.
3. Air Travel Anecdotes
Further discussing their air travel woes, Rory recounts a particularly chaotic flight experience involving a crying baby and a dropped phone.
The trio humorously navigates through the frustrations of airline delays and technical mishaps, emphasizing the unpredictability of air travel.
4. Entertainment Spotlight: Netflix’s "Warrior"
Rory introduces the Netflix series Warrior, sparking a discussion about its historical setting and cultural themes.
They debate the show's accuracy and its portrayal of Chinese gangs in 19th-century San Francisco, appreciating its action-packed storyline and character development inspired by Bruce Lee’s writings.
5. Relationships and Celebrity Crushes
A significant portion of the episode is dedicated to exploring hypothetical relationship scenarios, such as the concept of a "hall pass," navigating celebrity crushes, and the complexities of modern relationships.
Rory (24:09): "You want one wife."
Damaris (24:14): "She's the wife I want."
The hosts engage in playful banter about fidelity, trust, and the influence of celebrity culture on personal relationships, blending humor with relatable experiences.
6. AI and Media Authenticity
The conversation takes a more serious turn as they discuss the implications of AI in media, particularly concerning the authenticity of leaked videos and the future of blackmail in the digital age.
They express concerns about AI-generated content being used to manipulate public perception and the challenges it poses for personal privacy and truth in media.
7. Hip-Hop Classics and J. Cole’s Upcoming Album
A passionate debate unfolds on what constitutes a classic hip-hop album, with a focus on J. Cole’s anticipated release.
MAL (73:26): "I do think that Cole is somebody that is very capable, even in this climate, of making a classic hip hop album."
Rory (70:32): "If Cole delivers on this one, he's in that argument that he could be number one."
The hosts compare J. Cole’s craftsmanship to contemporaries like Drake and Kendrick Lamar, emphasizing his potential to produce a defining album that resonates with both core fans and the broader hip-hop community.
8. Personal Anecdotes and Childhood Memories
Towards the end of the episode, Rory shares a compelling story about a threatening interaction with a teacher during his high school years, hinting at deeper personal traumas that will be explored further on their Patreon platform.
This segment adds a personal and introspective layer to the episode, highlighting the hosts' willingness to share vulnerable moments.
Conclusion
Episode 245 of New Rory & MAL is a blend of humor, candor, and thoughtful analysis. From political strategies and technological challenges to deep dives into hip-hop and personal relationship dynamics, Rory and MAL provide listeners with a multifaceted conversation that is both entertaining and enlightening. The inclusion of notable quotes with timestamps enriches the summary, offering snapshots of their engaging dialogue.
Notable Quotes:
Rory (00:24): "March 23rd. Tickets available now newroariamal.com we cannot wait to see the DMV area."
MAL (03:03): "If you're spending $400 on sneakers, you bet they will."
Rory (08:14): "First of all, thinking your homeboy would lie about your girlfriend is nuts."
Damaris (125:36): "I was like, hey, what's up, y'all?"
These quotes capture the essence of the discussions, reflecting the hosts' dynamic chemistry and diverse range of topics.
For more in-depth stories and exclusive content, consider subscribing to their Patreon or following them on their social media platforms.