Episode 265 | The Circle Of Life

Summary

Podcast Summary: New Rory & MAL – Episode 265 | The Circle Of Life

Podcast Information:

• Title: New Rory & MAL
• Host/Author: iHeartPodcasts and The Volume
• Description: New stories, new laughs, new random hot takes that no one asked for... New Rory & Mal
• Episode: Episode 265 | The Circle Of Life
• Release Date: May 3, 2024

---

**1. Introduction to the Episode: The hosts kick off Episode 265, titled "The Circle Of Life," by diving straight into Rory's 34th birthday celebrations. The atmosphere is filled with humor and candid conversations about aging, personal milestones, and relationship dynamics.

---

**2. Rory's Birthday and Reflections on Aging: Rory opens up about turning 34, contrasting his actual age with the "industry age" of 28. The discussion centers around societal expectations for men in their 30s, particularly the pressure to have financial stability and personal life figured out.

• Notable Quote:
  • Rory [01:00]: “This is a representation.”
  • Damaris [01:05]: “Happy birthday, Rory. 34 years old.”

The hosts debate the significance of the number 34, with Rory feeling it's a "weird number" lacking the symbolic milestones that 30, 35, or 40 years represent. They explore the lack of societal grace for men in their mid-30s, emphasizing the expectation to "have your shit together."

• Notable Quotes:
  • Rory [03:03]: “There's no more grace for your mistakes.”
  • Damaris [04:10]: “Men don't get grace for no mistakes after 25.”

---

**3. Economic and Social Pressures: The conversation shifts to broader societal issues, including economic downturns caused by past generations and significant events like 9/11 and COVID-19. The hosts reflect on how these factors have shaped the current job market and personal expectations.

• Notable Quotes:
  • Rory [03:33]: “We survived 9/11 and COVID. I feel like we should get some slack.”
  • Mall [03:04]: “I don't know. We survived 9, 11 and Covid. I feel like we should get some slack.”

---

**4. Relationship Expectations and Mental Health: Rory and Julian discuss the complexities of relationships, particularly the unrealistic expectations placed on men to be providers while neglecting emotional well-being. They highlight the stigma around men seeking therapy and the imbalance in how men and women are perceived in relationships.

• Notable Quotes:
  • Rory [04:28]: “Women expect us to be multimillionaires by 21.”
  • Julian [05:14]: “There's no excuse for men after 25...”

---

**5. Personal Anecdotes and Experiences: The episode becomes more personal as Rory shares stories from his past, including a tumultuous relationship that blurred the lines between romance and discomfort. This leads to discussions on boundaries, consent, and respectful interactions in dating scenarios.

• Notable Quotes:
  • Rory [16:54]: “I've been turned down. And it's hurt before, but she never was able to fly away.”
  • Mall [17:30]: “My dad would always prank us and be like, we have no gifts for you...”

---

**6. Dating Challenges in the Modern Era: The hosts delve into the difficulties of finding meaningful relationships outside of dating apps. They discuss the limitations of online dating, the importance of mutual connections, and the challenges faced by individuals with busy careers.

• Notable Quotes:
  • Damaris [71:51]: “Where can a woman in her mid to late 30s with a great job find a man?”
  • Julian [72:23]: “Outside of Instagram, I would assume you would go to like parties...”

---

**7. Animal Behavior Analogies: In a lighter segment, the hosts explore intriguing animal mating behaviors, using lobsters and dolphins as examples. This analogy serves to highlight human relationship dynamics and societal norms regarding consent and sexual behavior.

• Notable Quotes:
  • Mall [24:15]: “Lobsters have pee ducts in their eyes and mate by peeing on each other’s faces.”
  • Damaris [25:47]: “If I'm a dolphin that never raped anybody, how do you tell a rapist dolphin apart?”

---

**8. The Impact of Miscommunication in Relationships: Rory recounts a particularly unsettling incident where miscommunication led to a hostile encounter. This story underscores the importance of clear communication and mutual respect in maintaining healthy relationships.

• Notable Quotes:
  • Rory [94:49]: “She was getting head. And then she walked out with an iPad... I thought I was about to get robbed.”
  • Damaris [95:04]: “That's insane right there.”

---

**9. Advice on Navigating Complex Relationship Situations: Towards the end, the group discusses scenarios involving living with an ex-partner and the challenges of maintaining boundaries. They offer advice on handling such situations with maturity and respect to prevent escalation and emotional distress.

• Notable Quotes:
  • Damaris [62:24]: “If I’m married and my wife and I are going through a separation, there's no way that I'm gonna continue staying in that house.”
  • Rory [66:05]: “If you have a girlfriend and you can't come home because you’re separated, that’s toxic.”

---

**10. Conclusion and Final Thoughts: The episode wraps up with reflections on societal norms, relationship expectations, and personal growth. The hosts emphasize the importance of honesty, setting boundaries, and seeking genuine connections over superficial interactions.

• Notable Quotes:
  • Rory [102:03]: “Let’s just keep it honest with each other and our intentions.”
  • Damaris [102:16]: “That's the circle of life.”

---

Key Takeaways:

• Aging and Societal Expectations: Men in their mid-30s face significant pressure to achieve financial and personal milestones, often without societal grace for missteps.
• Relationship Dynamics: Clear communication, mutual respect, and setting boundaries are crucial in navigating complex relationship scenarios.
• Mental Health Stigma: There's a need to destigmatize men seeking therapy and emotional support.
• Dating Challenges: Finding meaningful relationships outside of digital platforms remains a significant hurdle, especially for individuals with demanding careers.
• Personal Growth: Embracing honesty and integrity in relationships leads to more fulfilling and respectful connections.

---

Notable Quotes with Timestamps:

• Rory [00:00]: “Her husband walks out of the bathroom with an iPad and starts filming. Is like, nah, nah, it's cool. Like we do this all the time. No.”
• Damaris [04:21]: “Men don't get grace for no mistakes after 25.”
• Rory [16:54]: “I've been turned down. And it's hurt before, but she never was able to fly away.”
• Damaris [62:24]: “If I’m married and my wife and I are going through a separation, there's no way that I'm gonna continue staying in that house.”
• Rory [102:03]: “Let’s just keep it honest with each other and our intentions.”
• Damaris [102:16]: “That's the circle of life.”

---

Final Thoughts: Episode 265 of New Rory & MAL offers a candid and humorous exploration of personal growth, societal pressures, and the complexities of modern relationships. Through relatable anecdotes and insightful discussions, the hosts encourage listeners to reflect on their own lives, relationships, and the societal norms that shape them.

Transcript

[Rory]

Her husband walks out of the bathroom with an iPad and starts filming. Is like, nah, nah, it's cool. Like we do this all the time. No.

[Mall]

And he came out the gate recording.

[Rory]

I thought I was about to get robbed.

[Mall]

You should have beat.

[Damaris]

Rob. He was about to get hammered by both of them.

[Rory]

No Warrior now Under the sea under.

[Mall]

The sea Darling, it's better down where it's wet and take it from me.

[Rory]

Up on the shore they work all.

[Mall]

Day out in the Sunday Slave away while we devoting full time.

[Damaris]

All right, well, this is a. This is a special episode.

[Rory]

Even though I didn't dress the part and look like pure right now.

[Damaris]

This is. This is it. But that's. That's part of it though.

[Rory]

Yeah, this is a representation.

[Damaris]

Yeah, this is. This is. This is part of it now. This is part of it. Well, first of all, happy birthday, my brother.

[Mall]

Happy birthday, Rory.

[Damaris]

30. 34.

[Rory]

34 years old.

[Damaris]

Yes, 34 years old.

[Rory]

Well, industry age. 28.

[Damaris]

Do guys still do that?

[Rory]

I'm going to start the train.

[Mall]

I know.

[Rory]

Yeah, I know there's really.

[Damaris]

Yeah, but how. Okay, but how old are you?

[Rory]

A lot of your. A lot of your favorite rappers, media personalities and streamers are all lying about their age as grown ass mental.

[Julian]

But.

[Damaris]

No, no, no, but lying about their age if.

[Rory]

When it's readily available on the Internet what your real age is.

[Damaris]

Because I mean, lying about your age is one thing, but if you're 34, lying about your age, that's just weird because 34 is not the.

[Rory]

Is going on over here.

[Damaris]

That's what happens. That's what happens when you turn 34. You start breaking. You don't know how anything works.

[Julian]

Let's take a. Let's take a.

[Mall]

Hold on.

[Rory]

Got to call my grandson to fix this for me.

[Damaris]

Today's the mic stand, tomorrow your dick. You know what I mean? Like, it's you. Everything's just like that.

[Julian]

Going to fall. Just like that.

[Rory]

Limp ass microphone.

[Damaris]

Yeah, man.

[Julian]

Flash it. Did you break it or is it. Damn, I didn't think he broke it.

[Mall]

Hold on. I might have to like.

[Damaris]

Yeah, you gotta twist it back on. And we're back.

[Rory]

Sorry about that. This is off to a great start. What a birthday.

[Damaris]

That's. Listen, it's not a party until something breaks.

[Rory]

34 years old.

[Damaris]

34. How you feeling, man?

[Rory]

I feel okay.

[Damaris]

Shaq.

[Rory]

Shaq from the Magic. Shaq to the Lakers. My Jesus. Shuttle's worth year.

[Damaris]

Yeah, I guess.

[Rory]

Who else is 34?

[Damaris]

Charles Barkley.

[Rory]

Charles Barkley. You know, 34 is it's just a weird number.

[Mall]

Paul Pierce.

[Rory]

I feel like it was kind of like 29. It's just kind of meaningless. There's not really much to 34.

[Damaris]

Let me, let me, let me help you out. They're all meaningless after 30.

[Rory]

Well, I feel like the fives matter. 30, 30, 35, 40, 45. No. Okay.

[Damaris]

For men it's all true. I don't know, I can't speak for how women feel. But men, after 30, it's all the same.

[Rory]

But I don't know, 35 is like the real cut off, right? That's when you're officially like old as. Like you can't. No, you're not old. You just.

[Julian]

Sorry, my bad.

[Rory]

I don't think there's like any type of grace. My generation gets a little bit more grace than the last generation. There's still 35 year olds still trying to figure it out and respect to them on our own path, in our own pace. But you know, 35, you gotta have your shit together. There's no more mistakes at all.

[Damaris]

Oh, shit.

[Julian]

You'll be making mistakes for the rest.

[Rory]

Of your life, of course, but there's no grace for your mistakes. I was like, oh, he's just that 35 year old man's just figuring it out. No, it's get your shit together and own your mistake and shut the fuck up.

[Mall]

I don't know. We survived 9, 11 and Covid. I feel like we should get some slack.

[Rory]

And our, the generation above us completely ruined the economy and job market.

[Mall]

I remember 9, 11, you were 6 years old. I was there.

[Damaris]

You were not there. You were in the, in the house of milk or something.

[Mall]

Yeah, was not. I was older than that.

[Damaris]

How old were you?

[Mall]

Probably around I was nine. I was nine. I like vividly remember that day.

[Julian]

Yeah, I do too. My dad was living in New York City and I lived in Syracuse. My mother was having a panic attack all day. I remember. I'll never forget. Yeah, never forget, never forget.

[Rory]

Well then what. What's the cut off age for men and for women? Because of course it's different that you get any type of grace for mistakes or not having it all together.

[Damaris]

Men don't get after 25, after 13. Yeah. We don't get no grace for no mistakes after 25. You make a mistake as a man after 25 and you'll never hear the end of it.

[Rory]

That is true. And the marriage. I see you rolling your eyes, but you do know that women, like, expect us to be multimillionaires by 21.

[Julian]

See, when you say get your shit together, are you just referring to financials? Because there's plenty of ways that you can get your shit together to have nothing to do with money or your career.

[Rory]

Oh. And I'm saying most people only care about men's finances. Okay? That is a. That dictates what's going on. They could be a complete piece of. But I mean, if they got money, they do it.

[Julian]

All right, I'm not gonna sit up here and let y'all say that. There's no excuses for men. After 25, when y'all, literally, the world allows y'all to just like, continue to up on everything else, that's not financials for like, the rest of your life. And you get plenty of grace for it.

[Rory]

I'm talking about, like, the average men. Like, I'm not talking about a politician. They get every excuse in the world. The average man walking around America does not get any grace for his mistakes, especially in his 30s. No one's like, yo, look at that 30 year old trying his best.

[Julian]

That doesn't happen when it comes to y'all. When it comes to. Look at him trying outside of. Outside of fighting. You're a man outside of finances and careers. Y'all get all the grace in the world to up.

[Damaris]

What?

[Julian]

Oh, are y'all serious? You're not. Y'all not being dead ass. Y'all not being that Women. Women are encouraged to get. Women are encouraged to find relationships and get their mental health together when they're young men. Oh, he's 40 going into therapy. 40, trying to get a wife and get his life together. You be out here hoeing to y'all, 45, having kids at 45, and y'all get all the grace in the world. What are y'all talking.

[Rory]

No, I don't.

[Julian]

It's only finances that people are hard.

[Rory]

On you because that's all that's put on us is to go provide. That's the only thing that matters. And that's what we have to go do. Yeah, we all go to therapy later in life because no one gave a about our feelings for 35 years.

[Julian]

You're grown. Figure it out. Why do people have to push. People have to push you to go to therapy? Why do I have to push you to go to therapy as a grown?

[Rory]

You are proving my point.

[Julian]

I'm not. No, I'm not proving your point. I'm not. Because I'm not the only ones. I'm probably one of the only people saying this. Y'all get plenty oh, he's just a man. He's just. That's just what men do. That's just what men do. That's just what Men do. Men cheat, cheat sheet, lie, lie, lie, avoid your mental health, punch walls, do all types of crazy ass, and nobody sits up there and get your shit together. Get your shit together. Get your shit together. As long as you all have money, y'all are fine. Y'all can spend your whole entire life acquiring money, and you'll be fine. No one will ever question whether you're okay or, oh, his shit's together. So you don't have to be better people. You could just have money and be rich.

[Rory]

I know it sucks. That's what I'm saying. We don't get. No one cares about us as people. That's why we end up punching walls at 40 years old with a 401k if, like, some. Maybe we should have also focused on both things and had some expectations or caring about everything, not just being a provider. And I think it's shitty for women, too, that you get put in. Are you Married yet by 35? Do you have kids yet by 35? I think it's pressures that are different but the same. I'm just speaking in my experience because I am a straight white male that hasn't thought about transgendering. So I'm speaking from my perspective. I can't speak from yours.

[Damaris]

It's good to know that you haven't thought about transgendering.

[Mall]

I feel like if you do transition, you can at least get grace until you're 50.

[Rory]

Pro. That's true. Because then I'd be a new woman.

[Mall]

Yeah.

[Rory]

And, you know, you might win woman.

[Mall]

Of the year or something.

[Rory]

That is kind of crazy. When did Bruce become first year?

[Mall]

Didn't she get it, like.

[Rory]

No, I'm saying at that age, it's just a wild age to.

[Mall]

Yeah.

[Rory]

Either way. Happy birthday.

[Damaris]

So what do you got planned? What you got planned for your birthday?

[Rory]

I'll be in Mexico City.

[Damaris]

Mexico.

[Rory]

Just exploring around. I don't know. I'm not trying to be morbid, but birthdays are just not really for me.

[Damaris]

It's not for us men.

[Rory]

Yeah.

[Damaris]

Like, men don't get.

[Rory]

I'll find some things to do, but it'll be a family thing, which I'm excited about, but, you know.

[Mall]

Are you gonna go hiking? Probably take some shrooms?

[Rory]

No, I have to take care of a child. That's. I mean, if I can find a babysitter that I can trust for 14 hours, maybe in Mexico, that's not a problem.

[Mall]

Lupita down there.

[Rory]

Oh, yeah, Lupita, definitely. Good.

[Damaris]

Yeah. You could just leave it with any sweet Mexican lady, but I don't know her birthdays.

[Rory]

I understand the birthday blues thing, though. I was never a big birthday person, but at this point, I don't really know that's excited for it. It feels like another chore at this point.

[Damaris]

It is another chore.

[Rory]

Is it like, am I being too pessimistic? No, because I'm not, like, depressed. I'm actually happy to see another year. I like aging. Like, I think that's the point of being here. I'm not like, damn, I'm really getting too old.

[Damaris]

The coolest shit ever.

[Rory]

Oh, man, my 20s are gone. I did my 20s. I had a blast. I'm cool. Happy about that. I like being in my 30s. Like, aging.

[Damaris]

Yeah.

[Rory]

But I also don't get excited for my birthday.

[Damaris]

I think that's just.

[Rory]

It's just another. It's another fucking day.

[Damaris]

That's just a man thing, though, because I haven't been excited for my birthday in years. Like, I don't even. I think having a twin sister forces me to be excited for my birthday.

[Rory]

Oh, that's cool.

[Damaris]

If I didn't have a twin sister, I wouldn't celebrate my birthday ever.

[Mall]

Do you celebrate every year together?

[Damaris]

We try to, but if we do, it's only because she wants to do something. It's never because I want to do something. I could sleep, like, the whole day away. My birthday, in bed, watching tv, like, just chilling.

[Rory]

Yeah. Like, being left alone would be, like, the most amazing present. But you can't say that. But I don't mean it in a bad way. Like, what do you want to do for your birthday? If everyone would just, like, leave me alone.

[Damaris]

Great.

[Rory]

Amazing.

[Damaris]

Yes.

[Rory]

What a day.

[Damaris]

What a great fucking day.

[Rory]

Did you ever feel weird having a twin sister for, like, younger birthdays? Like, did you ever feel like it's not all about me?

[Damaris]

Nah, I didn't care about that. I always liked it because it was always girls around.

[Rory]

That's true.

[Damaris]

I was like, a cheat code.

[Rory]

Did you ever do, like, different themes or was it one theme?

[Damaris]

It was always one thing, just different locations. One year we would have, like, a roller skating party. The next year we would have, like, party, like a cookout, like a picnic party. Something. Something like that. Like, as kids, but after, like, high school. Really, like, I may have did the club thing twice on my birthday.

[Rory]

Okay.

[Damaris]

And I was like, this is the dumbest ever.

[Rory]

Yeah.

[Damaris]

Being around a Bunch of people that. I don't know.

[Rory]

Awful.

[Damaris]

For my birthday, I was like, yeah, it's the dumbest ever. So that stopped pretty early for me. But 34 is a good age. 34 is a good age for a man, I think, especially specifically for you being a father. Now 34 is different.

[Rory]

Oh, it's way different.

[Damaris]

Yeah.

[Rory]

I mean, I. Amara was alive for my last birthday, but she was super, super young. Now, like, she can participate in birthday.

[Damaris]

Yeah. Now she can actually blow the candles out.

[Rory]

Yeah. And, you know, it'll be her birthday.

[Damaris]

Yeah.

[Rory]

Which is fine.

[Damaris]

Mall.

[Mall]

What did you do? Not for your 34th birthday, but where were you in your life at 34?

[Damaris]

34. I was. We were podcasting. Yes, we were podcasting. 34. I was podcasting as I. My first. Probably a full year, I believe I started with you. August of 2016.

[Rory]

Yes.

[Damaris]

And my birthday is in September, so that was like a full year of podcasting. But I can't remember what I did, though. I can't remember what I did or where I was at for my 34th. But I was definitely podcasting on the mic. I was on the mic for sure.

[Rory]

Yeah. I think with college. My birthday, I ran track and there was always, like conference finals every year on my birthday. Then I had like a stint where I did these parties in the city that were great. Sweatpants parties. I invented that. I don't care what anyone says. I was able to let people wear sweats in the club. Like when tapered sweats came out. I used to do sweatpants themed birthday parties that were great.

[Damaris]

Wait, you said you're invented sweat. You invented sweatpants in the club.

[Rory]

No one was wearing sweatpants in the club till I was doing my sweatpants parties. Positive.

[Damaris]

No, that's not true.

[Rory]

It was coming off the hard bottom, button up wave. You think people was wearing sweatpants?

[Damaris]

What year was this?

[Rory]

2012. I'm talking about, like, the Manhattan clubs. Not like some hole in the wall shit in Jersey where they let you wear baggy sweats. Right. I'm talking about we were in Canal Room with sweatpants on.

[Mall]

Bricked up.

[Rory]

Catching all the doves on the wall.

[Damaris]

Why does it always have to.

[Mall]

Because if you're wearing sweats, you're gonna get bricked up.

[Damaris]

But why does it have to go there?

[Mall]

Because it will. Like, it' get there.

[Julian]

Like, how often a day does your dick get hard?

[Mall]

Like, why did you just go if you're wearing sweats?

[Damaris]

I don't think we need. Just stop.

[Mall]

It's small. You've Sweats, huh?

[Damaris]

That's what I'm saying. Just stop.

[Rory]

All right. After that, it was pretty much just podcasting for birthdays. We were on the road. Or will you.

[Damaris]

Would you get mad if your girl doesn't do anything for you for your birthday? Would that, like, bother you?

[Rory]

I've had it happen before. It didn't. It didn't really bother me because I'm not someone that, you know, we could.

[Damaris]

Never do that as men, but of course not. Okay.

[Rory]

Um. I don't have the face that says, like, go all out and do a crazy surprise. So I never, like, took it personal. But I don't know.

[Damaris]

My homeboy got mad one year. We did, like, a surprise dinner for him. He walked in a restaurant and got an attitude like he hates celebrating his birthday. It was. And I told this girl, I was like, yo, you know, he's gonna be upset. Like, he hates this type of shit. He walked in, everybody's like, surprise. He's just looking like, this is stupid.

[Rory]

This is stupid.

[Damaris]

Like, we celebrating your birthday. This is stupid.

[Rory]

So one year, when I was in a relationship, it was day of my birthday, we went to go get dinner somewhere in the city. She bought me a shirt. It wasn't a bad shirt. Just wasn't really a shirt that I. You know, it's not just that it wasn't bad, though. It just wasn't a shirt.

[Damaris]

She was trying to make you look like a man that she wanted.

[Rory]

So I put the shirt on. We went to dinner. I didn't know that there was about to be a surprise. Last Lap hadn't opened yet. It was still under construction. But of course, we know the owners of Last Lap, so they put together. You might. You might have been there. I can't remember. But they opened up Last lap just to do my surprise birthday party. And I walked in, and the first thing I thought was, I wish I wasn't wearing this fucking shirt.

[Damaris]

I don't see. I would have remembered that last.

[Mall]

I opened in May 2018, so this must have been.

[Julian]

Yeah, maybe, right. Right before they open.

[Damaris]

I can't remember that I would have remembered you wearing a shirt that you didn't like because, well, you might not.

[Julian]

Have known that he didn't like.

[Rory]

Yeah, it wasn't a bad shirt, but I was like. I wasn't really feeling well.

[Mall]

Am I bugging? I'm picturing, like, a short sleeve button down with, like, a lot of graphics.

[Rory]

No, it had, like. It was weird. Was like a polo that didn't have the polo. It had just like, oh, the crew with one button.

[Julian]

Ew.

[Rory]

And it was like a powder blue. It was just a lot.

[Damaris]

But she tried to dress you like a Frenchman.

[Rory]

Yes, pretty much, yeah. But, you know, I don't know. Birthdays are birthdays.

[Damaris]

Yeah. Well, hopefully you. You enjoy your. Your trip to Mexico City.

[Rory]

Yeah, it should be.

[Damaris]

Gotta have some fun.

[Rory]

I'll head out. Head out to the mountains, too. I've never really explored Mexico City. The times I've been there, I've always.

[Damaris]

Went some of the greatest museums in the world.

[Rory]

Ezra has a gallery out there, so I'm gonna see that. But, you know, all the avant gardens going out. I'll see Jay. Everyone, like, oh, that's dope.

[Damaris]

Jay checks me the other day.

[Rory]

What do you say?

[Damaris]

Just. Just random, man. Just. Just texting. I'm like, yo, what's up? Like, he hits me at the most. Ran, like, two, three in the morning, and then says, oh, my bad. I didn't mean to hit you. What? Like, all right, fam. Cool. Good to hear from you.

[Rory]

Yeah, he's been. He's been excited about this. This rap beef situation. Yeah, very excited.

[Damaris]

Yeah.

[Rory]

And I think people would be surprised on who he thinks the winner is going to be. Drake, because they were definitely misunderstanding his tweets.

[Damaris]

Yeah, no, he texted me. He voiced his. He voiced his opinion on the old beef matters and things like that. And, yeah, you know, he has some pretty good things to say.

[Rory]

Speaking of Jays, where do you think HOV is in this entire thing with the rap beef? Yeah, because, you know, he pays attention to everything and likes the sport and all this. I think he's at the edge of his seat the same way all of.

[Damaris]

Us are, if I had to guess. He's enjoying it because it is, you know, some of the best we have. And I think that that's always what has to happen at some point. I think the best have to battle or should battle each other, as long as, you know, it stays music and it doesn't spill into something else. I think that all of the, you know, the J's, the NAS's, the Eminem's, I think all of those guys are enjoying. Enjoying this moment because it's where they come from. They come from this shit. So I think they're enjoying it.

[Rory]

Damaris, Julian, do you guys have any favorite birthday memories before we get off? Birthday shit.

[Mall]

I don't know if it's because there was an old photo of me when I was a kid, but there was a. I was a big fan of Toy Story when I was a kid.

[Rory]

Doesn't shock me.

[Julian]

I love Toy Story.

[Mall]

Okay, well, don't do that. You don't like Toy Story.

[Rory]

Of course I like Toy Story Mall.

[Mall]

Well, you're little.

[Damaris]

That was too little.

[Mall]

It's out of your Toy Story was a huge birthday theme of mine for one birthday. I don't know which one it was. I might have been turning 8 or something. And there's photos of me with like my buzz Light ear that I had. And the cake was all Toy Story themed and all that shit. It wasn't like a gift or anything in particular that I got. I just remember like a Toy Story themed birthday and that's happy. My dad would always prank us and be like, we have no gifts for you. You're fucking asshole. And then he'd like go in the oven or under the bed and pull out shit and be like, here you go. We love you.

[Damaris]

That's some dad shit to do.

[Mall]

Every year he'd like break us down till we were crying because we didn't have like gifts or cake. And he'd be like, nah, I forgot. Do you want me to do about it? And then he'd like go to bed and then come back. Like he made it like a thing every year.

[Rory]

No.

[Damaris]

And you fell for it every year.

[Mall]

Every time I fell for it.

[Rory]

The real, the real dad is reminding you what he bought you in February and saying that was your birthday gift. Yeah, dad, it's May.

[Damaris]

Yeah.

[Rory]

Yeah.

[Mall]

My dad used to hide Christmas presents around the house, like in the ad. We didn't have a, like a huge house by any means, but my dad would hide them and forget about them. So like years later I would find gifts like in the attic or in the basement or whatever like that. What is this? He goes, oh, that's from like two Christmases ago. That happened a few times.

[Damaris]

He forgot.

[Mall]

You would hide them out.

[Damaris]

That's funny. I think I didn't get you anything. Two years later. Is this. Oh, that was from two years ago.

[Rory]

Dimash, you're coming off a birthday. You should. You should be coping with me on the Birthday Blues.

[Julian]

Yeah, I think this was my first birthday that on my birthday I just kind of wanted to be alone. Like, I was like over it. So much planning went into the trip and then so much energy was exerted on the actual trip. I hate traveling. I want to just snap my fingers and be somewhere. So I hate the airport, the packing, the. The getting the hair done, the nails and the feet and the outfits that it's just like so Much going into the vacation that on the actual vacation, I kind of just wanted to relax and I couldn't because I had a group of people who wanted to, like, be outside and be entertained, and I had to. And it was just kind of like, I love y'all, but I just kind of like, want to lay here and just sleep and like, cr.

[Damaris]

That's why solo trips are dope.

[Rory]

Yeah, I would have liked to do one of those. I think next year I might. Might be able to.

[Damaris]

No, you won't. You think? Wait, let me. Let me get this straight. There's no way you think that you have a. You have a one year old daughter.

[Rory]

A man can drink.

[Damaris]

She'll be two. She'll be two next year.

[Mall]

You don't have the juice like that.

[Damaris]

You think that you can take a solo birthday trip and you have a two year old daughter.

[Rory]

Yeah. Cause she'll be manageable to be around. Like, my mom could fully watch her.

[Mall]

I don't think you'll take a solo trip again in your life.

[Damaris]

When.

[Rory]

I mean solo trip, like, Kia can come with me. I mean, just without Amara, like, because I'm with Damaris. This entire process has been very fucking annoying. It hasn't felt like a celebration where we got to pre record episodes, gotta get everything together, pack for an infant, figure out the whole itinerary of what Amara can do and what she can't do. Thinking about the hours, thinking about Jay's three Great Danes. Like, there's a lot of shit where I'm like, this doesn't feel like a relaxing celebration. This is just gonna be another experience for everyone else that I'm gonna have to pay for.

[Damaris]

Yeah, I mean, that's part of it, though. But hopefully you'll have a good time. The family, you'll have a good time. And, you know, we'll kick it when you get back.

[Rory]

Listen, Lupita's just. There you go, Amara.

[Damaris]

Have fun.

[Rory]

This auntie Lupita, this is your mom for the next five days.

[Mall]

She hasn't met her yet, has she?

[Rory]

No, just on FaceTime.

[Julian]

It's so funny how you think that your mom, like, will be better taking care of, like, Amara when she's like two and like the time for you to get people to watch her should have been when she was an infant. 2. Have you been around 2 years old recently?

[Rory]

No. I know. They're insane, terrible twos. That's fine. At least they eat food. Like, okay, they'll just be annoying and crazy. I'm fine with that. Go deal with that. That's your grandkid, like keeping the kid alive now she can't just eat Ritz crackers like still in the boob, having trouble eating solid food. That can't happen for a week on end. So she's got to come with us everywhere.

[Damaris]

Well, it should be fun. And I'm just going to let you know now that you will not have a trip without your daughter when she's two. It's not going to happen.

[Rory]

What about like a day trip to Philly?

[Damaris]

Maybe? That maybe. Yeah, maybe.

[Julian]

But a 2 year old for a week?

[Rory]

35 in Philly. Do you want to plan now?

[Damaris]

No, that's. That's just nasty. You shouldn't be.

[Rory]

South street, let's go crazy.

[Damaris]

No, I'm cool.

[Julian]

A 2 year old for a week is like, I wouldn't wish worst. Wish that on my worst enemy.

[Damaris]

Yeah, two year old for a week is a. That's a lot.

[Rory]

Yo, this parents that are listening. We're flying economy 6 hours to Mexico City and back. It's going to be rough, like really rough. We've done LA with Amara, but God bless, it was for work. So we were able to do first class, give a little bit more space. There was not one business economy. Nothing was available.

[Damaris]

Oh, man.

[Rory]

But those back row fucking seats.

[Mall]

Didn't you say she liked economy more though?

[Rory]

She did, but that was like. I do. I don't mind doing economy at all for anything outside of like the LA or London trips. So when we did Florida and all that shit. Yeah, it's a fucking hour and a half, two hour flight. That's fine. Yeah, six hours, that's tough. Six hours then customs.

[Damaris]

No, the flight is. Mexico is not six hours, is it?

[Rory]

That's what it said. I don't know what the wind's doing that day.

[Damaris]

Oh, no, but you gotta remember, so you probably.

[Rory]

No, no, I was looking at the actual like flight time. It said six hours, which shocked hours because I feel like I've done that in four.

[Mall]

Yeah, it looks like there's some non stops for about five, five and a half hours. But yeah, I mean depending on whatever, I guess it could get up six.

[Rory]

Hours and two minutes. I was like, God damn.

[Damaris]

Damn, that's longer than la. That's crazy.

[Rory]

Mexico City's turning into like a new hub. I feel like people, people are moving there.

[Damaris]

Like I want to move to Mexico.

[Mall]

It's becoming the new LA in terms of filming because it's easier to get permits there and it's, it's much cheaper to Shoot all the. A lot of commercials and movies.

[Rory]

Yeah, I think. I think it's cool that we already. Already broke ground. Have a spot there.

[Damaris]

Yeah, Got. That's fine.

[Mall]

It's crazy.

[Rory]

I mean, the aliens were there first, but then.

[Damaris]

Then us. Well, we were the original.

[Julian]

And they say white people are aliens.

[Rory]

Yeah, well, you know, Caucus mountains.

[Damaris]

I get it. It's fine.

[Rory]

Anyways, now you have the birthday blues out the way.

[Mall]

Speaking of aliens, this is YouTube. Rabbit hole led me to this. And I'm sorry, I'm just going to see if you guys are interested in this. Do you guys. Are you familiar with how certain animals have sex?

[Julian]

No, Julian.

[Rory]

Not like something I. And just really research like that.

[Mall]

No. Okay, well. Okay, so lobsters. Get this.

[Rory]

You guys saw a horse, a. A woman at the box, right?

[Damaris]

That didn't happen.

[Mall]

There was snail horses.

[Damaris]

I don't know.

[Rory]

That's what y'all was doing in London.

[Damaris]

That definitely did not happen at the box. No.

[Rory]

I would never want to see that type of, like, I'm a horse woman. I'm an admitted weirdo. Even if it's something I'd be like, I don't want to see, I still have that, like, look at the car crash mentality in me a lot of times where I'm like, all right, well, I have to see it at least.

[Damaris]

Yeah.

[Rory]

I don't think I have any interest in watching a horse. A woman.

[Damaris]

I don't think you should have an interest in that. That's just.

[Julian]

That's some people.

[Mall]

Yeah, it's pretty popular.

[Damaris]

I mean, well, I think there's people.

[Mall]

That have only fans where they're horses and animals. And don't quote me on that, but I wouldn't be surprised.

[Julian]

No, I think that's illegal activity. I don't know if they do that. That's illegal.

[Damaris]

Mental illness is real. We know that.

[Rory]

Is that not weird to y'all? Like, that's not instant death. Like, why is that? Okay, because if you want to.

[Mall]

A horse. I mean, a horse. That's kind of where I'm at with it.

[Julian]

No, because the horse can't consent.

[Damaris]

It's a horse.

[Julian]

If I go rip a leg off a cat, will you feel the same way?

[Mall]

Completely different.

[Julian]

How?

[Mall]

Because the horse is coming. It's not like we're killing it or hurting it.

[Damaris]

Horses having sex. Horses just who. Who and what.

[Rory]

It's having some diseases like, you would just want. Yeah, I'm saying get like, the size of it. A horse just entering your body.

[Mall]

I feel like it's A very dangerous person's an idiot. But the horse is a horse. Just let the.

[Damaris]

The horse is just a regular horse.

[Mall]

Yeah.

[Rory]

Who does the horse like? Reach out.

[Damaris]

The lady is a idiot, but the horse is just a horse.

[Rory]

Believe all horses.

[Mall]

Because my thing is, if it's not. If the woman is not the horse, then what else would she be doing with that time? Who knows what else she'd be into or try to. Or try to harm or let her just. If she wants a horse, a horse.

[Rory]

We can start a committee because people get raped by dolphins all the time. So we could figure out like some human to animal non consent committee. What's that fetish called when you fuck dolphins?

[Damaris]

No, it's like swimming.

[Rory]

Yeah. The Florida Keys, I feel like, you.

[Mall]

Know, it's like, where. It's like a rape fantasy. That's like a thing with dolphins. Well, people. Well, it's people to people usually. But I'm saying in this case because dolphins are known rapists. If women want to get fucked by an animal and we've established that it's not okay to fuck a horse, but dolphins are into that.

[Damaris]

But see, that's up though, because what if I'm a dolphin that never raped nobody, but I swim in the same water and they point like, that's the dolphin that raped me? I'm like, yo, I didn't do nothing. How do you tell. How do you tell a rapist dolphin apart? Like, sorry, all dolphins look the same.

[Mall]

Like the Emmett Till of dolphins.

[Damaris]

Yeah, like, all dolphins look the same. How do you know? Like, yo.

[Rory]

Nah, that's like the same description we give the cops.

[Damaris]

Yeah, it's like, yo, I didn't do that.

[Rory]

Like, they just come by four to six. Fire.

[Damaris]

Yeah. They put me in isolation. Now I can't swim in the free world because they think I'm raping the tourist. I didn't do.

[Rory]

Yeah, don't. Yeah, don't put a.

[Damaris]

Meanwhile, the culprit is over there doing loop de loops through the hula hoops over there. He's the rapist. And y. Loop through. Yeah. Now I'm in the isolation tank because I'm. They looking at me like the nasty dolphins.

[Rory]

And you got to think, probably the most charismatic dolphin, the one that is doing all the flips for the Taurus.

[Damaris]

That's how they l you in. Oh, he's such a. He's such a good dolphin.

[Rory]

Yeah, yeah.

[Damaris]

Okay. You come get on his back if you want to him.

[Rory]

He would never do that.

[Damaris]

Yeah, yeah. Meanwhile, you got the wrong dolphin. In the isolation, he didn't do shit.

[Rory]

Were you wearing jewelry, color bathing suit?

[Damaris]

Yeah. Was it a two piece? That's on you, man.

[Mall]

Well, good.

[Rory]

Are you guys into that conspiracy that like the elite rich have their kids with dolphins? Like that's supposed to make you a much smarter human being when you give birth with dolphins around.

[Julian]

I've heard of that. I'm sure that they do do it.

[Damaris]

Wait, they're in the water giving birth?

[Rory]

So I mean, there is actual evidence that like why pregnant women shouldn't swim with dolphins. There is a connection between the womb and dolphins. That's a fact. But there is a theory that the elite and the rich only have their children with dolphin births because there's some type of telepathic shit that makes children highly more intelligent when they're born around dolphins because.

[Mall]

Sounds white.

[Rory]

There is some connection. Yeah, no, I'm sure it's Rothschild Dupont type shit.

[Damaris]

Well, dolphins have extremely incredible hearing, so I'm sure they can hear everything going on in the womb.

[Rory]

But, but there's a direct thing between dolphins brains and wombs. That's why like if you were to go down to the Keys right now and you were pregnant, they'd be like, you can't get in the water. Like they're gonna go after you.

[Mall]

Well, Newsweek is saying that it's, it's dangerous, which obviously if you involve a dolphin, but not only for illness and.

[Damaris]

Infection around like a beach ball in the water, but hey, that's my fucking kid.

[Rory]

Yeah, they say, but as opposed to what? In a building where sick people congregate.

[Mall]

Like hospitals, harmful bacteria and pathogens, the baby obviously could drown. Asking the mother. There's a lot of complicated. I don't. From what I'm seeing, I'm not seeing many benefits, but I could believe that.

[Rory]

Well, that's. I know because they're trying to hide the real benefits and discourage you from it. That's, that's the conspiracy. But I'm at like, where do you just have some dolphins? Chilling sea berries.

[Julian]

I'm not giving birth at Sea Breeze.

[Rory]

No, Sea World.

[Julian]

I'm sorry.

[Damaris]

Sea Breezy is crazy.

[Rory]

That's gonna be the rebrand.

[Damaris]

Yeah. Nah, I mean you just have to just, just have, just have your baby in the hospital or you know, they have the at home births with the, with the doulas and things like that. Like in a tank filled with dolphin. Like.

[Rory]

No, I don't think, I think it's like in the ocean because there's like elite dolphins too.

[Mall]

Elite.

[Rory]

All right. The way like, elite people breed their dogs. Like, oh, so Rothschilds. All their dogs are. You could go their lineage the same way you can with them. They inbreed their dogs. There's also. And this is, you know, I don't know, so this on YouTube. There's also an elite crew pod of dolphins that are in breeding to just keep. Keep this going. But then you see a lot of, like, rich kids, they're dumb. Like, a lot of elites have stupid kids. Maybe the dolphins weren't available. They were migrating that day.

[Damaris]

Or maybe the dolphins knew early. Like, this one's. There's no. No hope for this one.

[Rory]

All our squeaking isn't gonna fix this kid.

[Damaris]

This one's an idiot. We can hear it already. We can hear his brain. He's a idiot. Yeah.

[Rory]

But, you know, maybe I'll look into it for the next one.

[Damaris]

Well, you should. Don't. But, you know.

[Mall]

Well, I. I brought up the animal sex because.

[Damaris]

Of course you did.

[Mall]

I was looking in lobsters or in. First of all, the history of lobsters. The rebrand of lobsters, maybe the best rebrand of all crustaceans or sea creatures. They were like, they're cockroaches of the sea. They were fed to people in prisons. They were always like, the nastiest dish. All that shit. Ew. You're, you know, in prison for life. Eat lobster, obviously the greatest rebrand in terms of the culinary arts.

[Rory]

Shrimp, crabs, all that nasty shit.

[Mall]

Yeah. All the bottom feeders. But did you know that lobsters have pee ducks in their eyes? And when they mate with people, they piss on their faces, like, to each other. They pee on each other's faces when.

[Damaris]

They mate with people.

[Mall]

When he pee pee.

[Julian]

No, but you said when they meet with.

[Mall]

When they made. When they mate, they pee on each other.

[Damaris]

Yeah, I'm about to say, who's fudgeing lobsters? Like, let's get to that.

[Rory]

Yo, being able to find a lobster vagina is crazy.

[Damaris]

Yeah. Because I watch. I watch fucking. What is it? What's the. The shit on the Deadliest Catch?

[Mall]

Yeah.

[Damaris]

They never talked about people fucking crabs or lobsters.

[Rory]

Like, well, they're. They're out to sea for months on end. It's like being in prison. You just gotta fuck what's around you.

[Damaris]

Fucking the crab and the lobster is crazy. But okay. Okay, so, yeah, so they use their pee ducts that are in their eyes.

[Mall]

And they pee on each other. All lobsters have a pee fetish. It's used as a mechanism to attract and to defend when they're at risk. They'll pee. And they pee up to seven times their body length. They said. They said. I was listening to this. This is an equivalent of a human being able to pee for the full length of a school bus. That's how far you.

[Rory]

Yeah, I mean you got to have.

[Mall]

All lobsters are Ms. Be Nasty.

[Rory]

That type of range. If you're peeing in the ocean. Yeah. Like we all piss in the ocean. You're not going to hit anyone. It's just going to go in the water. So not only direct shot underwater is crazy.

[Mall]

So they have like a den that they live in. They kind of burrow in like rocks and coral and shit. And to. To get a female, they'll pee on her face obviously. And then when she agrees to it, she'll come into the burrow and she actually herself and will set on the male lobster for 10 to 14 days. And then she'll do this with multiple lobsters. And she's collecting sperm from all these.

[Julian]

Different lobsters and strongest sperm ones.

[Mall]

And then. Yep, pretty much. Yeah. And then just ends up having, you know, however many whatever eggs catch. And has a bunch of kids. But she literally just sits there, gets peed on by mad dudes, gets naked, takes her shell off, sits on and he's like still full head to toe, armored up, shelled. He's got the. Tim's on, he's chilling, he's planted in that. Yeah, nuts. Does whatever pees all over her again some more. And then she does this to like the whole team.

[Rory]

So every lobster's mom is a hoe? Pretty much. You have to be like you were created in an orgy.

[Mall]

Yeah.

[Julian]

Humans supposed to be like that too though.

[Rory]

You said humans are human with.

[Julian]

With. As far as when he said the strongest sperm wins, that's. Humans are supposed to collect multiple sperm. The strongest sperm will reach your egg. That's science. The strongest sperm that with the best genetics will meet you will.

[Damaris]

Wait, you saying humans are supposed to do that animalistically?

[Julian]

Not. Obviously not us in our elevated society, but humans like actual. Just like raw humans.

[Rory]

Yes, just go like women.

[Julian]

You're supposed to go for the strongest man with the strongest genetics to create the strongest family. That's nature.

[Mall]

And coming quick is in nature. That's like a stat. That's a good thing.

[Rory]

Yeah.

[Mall]

Because you want to spread your seed as fast as possible to ward off predators. All that shit in and out and.

[Rory]

Yeah, you gotta go eat. And like we have. We have refrigerators.

[Julian]

You gotta go hunt.

[Rory]

Yeah.

[Mall]

Can you imagine Having to hunt every day.

[Damaris]

Oh, to eat. And then your wife wants to make love. I just walked 30 miles today to get this.

[Rory]

This guppy.

[Damaris]

This bison leg. I had to wrestle, too. You want to make love? I'm covered in blood.

[Rory]

I had to kill another woman's husband. So you could eat.

[Damaris]

So we could eat tonight.

[Rory]

Go grieve with her.

[Damaris]

Yeah. You want to fucking make love? Jesus Christ. Well, thank you for that, Julian.

[Mall]

Well, I have another one.

[Damaris]

Oh, God. Okay.

[Rory]

Gosh. Okay.

[Mall]

Well, this was narrated by David Attenborough. This clip, I think, went viral quite a while ago. But these birds, this. Imagine this, because this is the human comparison. Rory. Rory's trying to get a girl, okay? And he's practicing a dance with his fellows, with the homie.

[Rory]

So us, I'm with the kappas, we get in our. This is trolls together.

[Mall]

Exactly. This is. This is Rory and the kappa.

[Rory]

I'm at Meet the Girl Freaks.

[Mall]

So what this bird does in the black hair is he practices with homies, a mating dance. So then by the time that shorty pulls up, he's got the dance down pat.

[Damaris]

He's got the routine going, and he's.

[Mall]

Got the routine down. And then she'll either nod in approval and let him beat, or she'll just fly away and go to someone else and let them dance for her. But these guys, the male birds, practice this dance for forever during mating season with the homies. They're all doing the dance together, and then they go all out and try to the same girls.

[Rory]

That's wild. Because, you know, the homies are telling them, like, the worst she can say is no. All confident. She flies away. And he's crushed.

[Damaris]

Yeah.

[Mall]

What are you, like, dirty? He's like, yeah, now you killed that.

[Rory]

I've been turned down. And it's hurt before, but she never was able to fly away.

[Damaris]

Have you ever. She just walked away after dancing.

[Rory]

Like, she turned around and was like, no.

[Damaris]

Yeah, yeah.

[Rory]

That's something before.

[Mall]

That's such a demoral. It's happened to everybody. That sucks.

[Damaris]

That hurts.

[Mall]

That hurts.

[Rory]

It hurts a lot.

[Damaris]

Yeah, that hurts.

[Mall]

You've done that because you hurts.

[Damaris]

When you're a woman, you gotta go home.

[Rory]

That when you're a woman, it hurts more when, like, you gotta go home. You have a little bit of rhythm with, like, you get halfway through the song and, like, she's with it and she just hasn't turned around yet. I can take the turnaround right away and, like, nah. But, like, we had some chemistry here. You was with it till you looked.

[Damaris]

At me, Turns around and looks at you and then be like, nah. Yeah, you have to leave the party.

[Mall]

Don't give me the bridge and the hook.

[Damaris]

I'm going home.

[Mall]

And then turn around.

[Damaris]

Yeah, I'm going home. I'm going home.

[Julian]

Like, walk away. Go get a drink for another. Another girl.

[Rory]

Yeah. I've always lived to dance another day. Like, it happens.

[Damaris]

Yeah. But not at that party, though. You got to go home.

[Rory]

Nah. You guys take you to the bathroom or go get a drink or walk over to regroup.

[Mall]

You got to take your phone out, pretend like you're texting somebody, or you.

[Rory]

Got to do, like, the. The band aid on your ego. Walk over to your friend. Like, man, these hoes is trash in here. Blame it on them.

[Damaris]

Yeah, it's. No. In here. It's a lot. They just not with you. They in here, though.

[Rory]

Matter of fact, you liked her five minutes ago.

[Damaris]

Yeah. You loved her. You was of love.

[Rory]

Yeah. Now you still gotta. Because if you got some jokes, maybe you could turn it around later.

[Damaris]

Yeah. But it hurts when another cute girl saw that, though.

[Mall]

Oh, yeah.

[Damaris]

You get shut down because she's.

[Mall]

I can't be there.

[Rory]

But then there's a few angels that see that, and, like, they'll give you a sympathy dub.

[Julian]

Oh, you don't want that.

[Damaris]

You don't want.

[Mall]

You don't want a sympathy dog.

[Rory]

That's. That's worse than walking away.

[Damaris]

Yeah. Because then you try to get the number. She's like, no, no, just a dance.

[Rory]

Just felt bad for you.

[Damaris]

Yeah, that's it. You can leave now.

[Rory]

Just watched her fly away after your dance.

[Damaris]

Yeah.

[Rory]

What's the worst way you've turned a guy down at a party?

[Julian]

Me?

[Rory]

Yeah.

[Julian]

A respectful guy. I've never. I've. I. I never. If you're respectful to me, I try my hardest not to harm your ego because I wouldn't want somebody to do that to me. And it's been done to me. So I try to be as respectful as possible. I'm quick to lie and say I have a boyfriend, things like that. But I've had some very disrespectful men grab me in parties, and that is when, like, I. I don't play that. Like, I will slap the dog out.

[Damaris]

Of you, but you have to shoot me. But is it disrespectful because you're not attracted to them?

[Julian]

No. Don't ever. Don't put your hands on me, period. You know, I don't care.

[Damaris]

You can not, like, grab your ass.

[Julian]

Fine. That's. But that's what.

[Damaris]

I'm gonna try to get your attention.

[Julian]

I don't, like. Don't grab.

[Rory]

I think she's talking about, like, you've seen dudes grab girls to, like.

[Julian]

Yeah, like, don't grab me.

[Damaris]

Oh, yeah, no, that's.

[Julian]

That's, like. If we're walking through, like, it usually happens when, like, it's a crowded space and we're walking past each other and somebody grab me. Yeah, don't grab. Don't touch me ever.

[Mall]

Like, the intentional. Intentional bump and, like, baby grope. Yeah, I hate that.

[Damaris]

I almost got beat up in the club for that one night. And I didn't even. I didn't even grab the girl. Like, I was walking past like, a girl. She was with some guys.

[Rory]

You were the dolphin that was accused of the wrong thing.

[Damaris]

And she thought. I guess she thought that I, like, brushed up again. I wasn't even facing her. My back was to her. And she turned around, I guess some. A guy that was, like, around me or near me grabbed her, and she thought it was me, and she, like, pushed me in my back. And I turned around, looked at her. I was like, the fuck are you doing? But then she was with, like, nine dudes, and I was just like, it's all good. Just kept it moving. Took that.

[Rory]

L. I got. I got punched in my face my freshman year of high school for mistaken identity at a party.

[Damaris]

Somebody mistook you for who?

[Rory]

I don't know. To this day, I don't know. It was Canelo. Her older. It was some girl, her older brother. Like, something happened to her. I don't know. To this day, I don't know. Ran to him, and then he just, like, went for the first person that he saw when he walked in the.

[Damaris]

House, and he went for the redhead.

[Rory]

I. I don't even think he looked. He just punched somebody.

[Julian]

He was mad.

[Rory]

He was just livid. Clearly blackout drunk and. Yeah, caught a. Caught a nice fresh one to the eye.

[Damaris]

Didn't know what happened for nothing.

[Julian]

Was it black?

[Rory]

Yeah, of course. My eye blacks. If I do this.

[Mall]

Damaris said she'll say she has a boyfriend. And people. Does that work? Because every time I try to get the. I have a girlfriend off, it never works. It.

[Rory]

Women don't respect.

[Mall]

Women do not give a. About that at all.

[Rory]

That actually intrigues them.

[Mall]

I've got. I try to get that off all the time. It never works.

[Julian]

If you tell me you got a girlfriend, I know you really don't want me.

[Mall]

What are you just being Honest.

[Rory]

Yeah, yeah.

[Mall]

I mean I'm not, I'm lying.

[Julian]

With girlfriends don't do that. They don't do that. A with a girlfriend ain't gonna tell you he got a girlfriend.

[Damaris]

What? What?

[Julian]

Why wouldn't he with girlfriends be the worst? I'm telling y'all, they're the worst.

[Rory]

No, there's definitely a world where there's a bunch of men that are cheating in relationships.

[Damaris]

For sure.

[Rory]

Plenty of.

[Julian]

No, no, I'm not saying that.

[Rory]

I got a girl and are just dead ass be being truthful and respectful to their girlfriend.

[Julian]

Yeah, sometimes. But a lot of times the will you be like I. A lot of people when people when they're in relationships, period. Especially if you're in a long term relationship. Not always, but a lot of times what happens is you like, you don't get like the ego boost from other people wanting you. So like when somebody like wants you, it's like, oh, damn, like I still got it. Like I don't want to. This moment of like, I'm a flirt a little bit. That's what I see a lot with people with girlfriends. But the I have a girlfriend, I have a boyfriend does not work. A lot of times then I'll. I went to like, I started saying I was a lesbian that they don't give a about that.

[Mall]

That's better.

[Julian]

Then I just started saying I was a man. Wow, I used to be a man.

[Mall]

That's fire.

[Damaris]

That's sick.

[Rory]

That could backfire though. And then it could in a certain situation. He could be like, good.

[Damaris]

He. Well, me too.

[Mall]

Or he could be like have a full on identity crisis that he was trying to hit on a man. A former man.

[Damaris]

That's a girl telling you she used to be a man.

[Julian]

I have a masculine feature. I could get that off.

[Damaris]

What masculine features do you have a.

[Julian]

Little mustache coming in like, that's everybody.

[Rory]

Every girl.

[Julian]

Nah, it's cool. I get it off. It works. Sometimes you curl it.

[Rory]

First of all, having hair being a masculine feature is crazy.

[Mall]

Yeah, everybody's hairy.

[Julian]

But. But no but yeah, I'm queen of giving my number out to avoid dying.

[Damaris]

That's crazy because a lot of women do feel like that. They almost have to give a guy their number because they feel like, oh, if I don't, he's gonna start acting crazy. He might do something crazy like, let me just give him my number and then ignore him.

[Rory]

Yeah, you end up like that Good morning Julia guy who you guys remember.

[Julian]

Oh, good morning, Julia.

[Rory]

Yeah, you guys don't remember that Viral.

[Julian]

Rory played it on the podcast before the guy. How did he get her number?

[Rory]

So this girl was at the gym, like, minding her business. And this dude, this old guy saw her name, like in the sign in sheet and then followed her to the parking lot and was like, hey, can I get your number? And she was like, oh, well, you know, I have a boyfriend. Sorry. Or like, I have an ex or whatever. And he was like, it's cool. Well, let me just get your number. He's like, oh, I'll take yours. And then he took the phone, put his number in, and then called himself. So he had her number. He tried to do that move, and then at 6 o'clock in the morning the next day, sent her this video. Quite possibly one of the creepiest things I feel for.

[Damaris]

I think I remember this morning.

[Rory]

Julia, it's me, Joe. Two ceiling fans in the kitchen is crazy. Wish you a great day. Tell you that meeting you yesterday and.

[Damaris]

Getting a look at you was probably.

[Rory]

One of the greatest moments of my life. You were so beautiful.

[Damaris]

Jesus, you don't know how beautiful you are to me.

[Rory]

That's a sick goatee.

[Mall]

Just.

[Rory]

You're gorgeous, you're precious.

[Damaris]

But it's been sitting in my mind.

[Rory]

When you said to me, you want to go back with your ex boyfriend? Definitely a JV baseball.

[Damaris]

Please erase him from your memory.

[Rory]

Don't ever go back in the past. I know because I've been there. And I understand.

[Damaris]

When you know, you're trying to find somebody and you go on dates and.

[Rory]

Nothing compares Jesus to your ex. But there is that better person out there. And Julia, I promise you, it is me. I will love you like you've never been loved before.

[Damaris]

I will cherish you.

[Rory]

Six a.m. the next day. Open up your heart.

[Damaris]

The edit is crazy.

[Rory]

You gotta get. No, the end. The end is the best part.

[Mall]

Hold on, we'll get.

[Rory]

You got to see how he does the sign on arms. Let's go full throttle. I can see me falling in love with you based off one conversation where she clearly didn't want it.

[Damaris]

What murder? Yeah, what murder?

[Rory]

Good man. What man?

[Damaris]

What man? He's a good murder.

[Rory]

Has like, that happened to you? That's happened to me on a woman's.

[Julian]

Side in text messages. It has been like, yeah, it has been. That's why it's like, y'all could watch that video. And that video is entertaining out of context, but if I woke up and got that, I would never sleep well again. If I got. If I woke up to that message, you Know how creepy and sick of a person you have to be to leave something like that?

[Damaris]

The fact that he kept, like, spinning around in the same spot recording a selfie is crazy.

[Mall]

How many times you think he shot that?

[Rory]

Oh, that's. That's one take.

[Julian]

One take, Jake.

[Damaris]

That's one take, Tony. Right.

[Rory]

One throttle. I don't think I've ever told this story of when I was fake stalked. Summer 2010. I just crossed Kappa at the New Jersey barbecue. My first one ever. So excited for myself. Got my. My best red shorts you could find practice. Nasty times, you know? Got my. Got my tiki on with the white V neck. It was summer 2010. You had on a white V neck and khaki cargo shorts.

[Mall]

I'm sure you had the V neck phase.

[Damaris]

Mall.

[Rory]

And you definitely had. Had some foams on with it.

[Julian]

Y'all know, I didn't know that V necks were out of style until, like, Twitter told me, like, a week ago.

[Mall]

I was gonna say, when's the last time you've seen one?

[Julian]

I. I see them on people, but.

[Rory]

I didn't V neck in a minute. I won't. I like V necks. I might bring them back. This I like.

[Julian]

I like women wearing vnecks I didn't wear. People were like, nah, you can't do that. I'm like, but they look nice on some men. I don't know.

[Damaris]

Yeah, No, I didn't. V neck thing is nasty. Like, sorry, that's over with a nigga wearing a v neck in 24. He just came just say, welcome home. Put something on his books, zell him something. Because there's no way that nigga's been in the free world and is still wearing V necks.

[Julian]

But what's wrong with them? I understand why, like, this the same thing with, like, snapbacks. Like, are snapbacks out? Why are snapbacks out?

[Damaris]

Snapbacks aren't out. Who said that?

[Julian]

I thought people said snapbacks were out.

[Damaris]

Stop talking to these people. V necks gone.

[Rory]

I feel like you could find the right V neck and still be all right.

[Damaris]

No way. Nasty times.

[Rory]

What's wrong with it?

[Julian]

What's wrong with a V neck?

[Damaris]

It's just nasty.

[Julian]

How is it nasty when you pair.

[Rory]

It with the khaki cargo shorts and the foams or the Jordan cements like we used to. Yeah, then it's nasty.

[Julian]

No, I like a man in, like, a V neck shirt. Like, apparently they're back when he out with the nice chain. You're not looking.

[Damaris]

Okay, you showing me sweaters and crews and cardigans.

[Mall]

I like sweaters.

[Damaris]

I'm talking about, like, a V neck T shirt, baby. Not in a cardigan and a sweater. Like, that's fine. I'm talking about a regular, plain T shirt V neck.

[Julian]

As long as he don't got taco meat, I think that V necks are fine.

[Damaris]

No way.

[Rory]

Got you. Anyway, so at the barbecue, Sorry, Rory, bag this chick that I would bag her today without context. Like, she was bad. Above my league at that time, for sure. Like, I was really feeling myself, you know, Instant. Instant friends on Facebook, BBM exchange. Like, feeling myself. Don't put too much pressure on it for the rest of the barbecue, you know?

[Damaris]

I got the number already. Yeah, just chill.

[Rory]

She invited the after party. She wasn't able to make it, but she was like, yo, but like, this weekend, if you want to link up, like, let's do that. I said, cool. You know, I had you on the bbm. So I hit her while I'm at the after party. Got a little ahead of myself. She sets up a date for the next day at Liberty House in Jersey City, which is, like, a really nice spot. I show up excited. She is there with her mom and her aunt.

[Damaris]

This is the first time y'all hanging out.

[Rory]

This is the next day, first time hanging out outside of that barbecue.

[Damaris]

And she's with her mom and her.

[Rory]

Mom and her aunt.

[Damaris]

She invited you on a. A brunch with her family?

[Rory]

Yes. Didn't mention any of that. I thought we were just going out. Mind you, I'm like, I'm 19 at this time. I don't know.

[Julian]

So how old was she? Like, 17, 18?

[Rory]

No, she my age. Yeah, she was in college. I think she went to Monmouth or some. So I'm just sitting there, like, weirded the out. Even her aunt goes, so it's a little soon, isn't it? I was like, I didn't know y'all was gonna be here. So make it through that. Just because I'm a polite person.

[Damaris]

Yeah.

[Rory]

And immediately I would have left.

[Damaris]

I'm not doing that.

[Rory]

I'm. But I'm. And I'm trying to be like, I still, at 19, still wanted to beat. But I was really weirded out by that.

[Damaris]

Yeah.

[Rory]

So I leave once brunch is done, and she starts sending me, like, photos of the back of her throat and, like, all this wildly sexual, explicit. That's not sexy. Like, not, like, stuff that would turn you on. Like, creepy.

[Damaris]

She put a phone in her mouth and took a bit.

[Rory]

Yes. And you have to understand, this is in 2010.

[Damaris]

Does she have tonsil stones?

[Mall]

Sent you a photo of like a prolapsed.

[Rory]

I. I'm not guessing at all. The back of her throat. She was sending me photos of to like, show me, like, how good she could suck dick.

[Damaris]

That doesn't mean you could suck. I know, I know because you show me your throat.

[Rory]

I know.

[Julian]

Well, I mean, if you could fit the whole iPhone in your mouth, so.

[Rory]

I have a chance at that point. I'm a little creeped out, but I'm still 19, so.

[Damaris]

Still horny.

[Rory]

I end up.

[Damaris]

Of course you do. Like a real Irishman.

[Rory]

So I then, you know, give.

[Julian]

How was it?

[Rory]

Information.

[Mall]

You cream pider.

[Rory]

It was cool. I don't know. I don't know. I was like. It was 19 year old sex.

[Damaris]

Yeah. Terrible.

[Rory]

It was just. It was whatever.

[Damaris]

Yeah.

[Rory]

So of course I like, told her about myself prior to that. I was interning at Def Jam at the time, but I was working at American Eagle in the dressing rooms, bunch of V necks. I ghosted her because she was getting wild V necks and jeggings. I had every V neck, every color you could think of.

[Damaris]

Of course you did.

[Rory]

She started showing up to Newport Mall outside of American Eagle, like, and would sit outside the bench for my whole shift.

[Mall]

Damn.

[Damaris]

No, you put that thing on her.

[Rory]

No, I mall. She was crazy before. I didn't put anything on her.

[Julian]

She.

[Rory]

It was in her already. I didn't put. It was not the dick.

[Mall]

Nah, you woke it up.

[Rory]

She was crazy the day I met. Yeah, Our first fucking date was a brunch.

[Damaris]

She family.

[Rory]

She surprised me with her mom and her aunt. Yeah, that bitch was out of her fucking mind.

[Damaris]

Do you still keep.

[Rory]

Like, do you still know you never saw and ever? No, I told her after the second day she showed up to American Eagle, like she needed to stop doing this shit. I wasn't as nice as I am now. I was. I was mean like, yo, you need to stop showing up. Like, stop this shit. Yes, it's fudgeing weird. This is crazy.

[Julian]

You know? What did she say when you said that?

[Rory]

Nothing.

[Damaris]

She's like, you don't know love. You don't want love.

[Rory]

Nothing. She was just like, okay, Facebook shit. Oh, that summer.

[Damaris]

Oh, shit. I thought this was a girl.

[Rory]

The last. The last Facebook shit I saw was probably towards the end of 2010 and she had become like a wild Christian or something. Like she went full God.

[Damaris]

Oh, okay.

[Julian]

Makes sense.

[Damaris]

You helped her along her journey to find God.

[Mall]

You knocked her into religion, though.

[Rory]

I was like fearing for my Life.

[Julian]

You gotta give me her name so I can go find her on Facebook.

[Rory]

No, the American Eagle manager was like, do we need to get mall security? I was like, no, but, like, do.

[Mall]

We need to get Paul Blart?

[Rory]

But what, like, why?

[Damaris]

Everyone segue and get out of here.

[Rory]

But why? No one was, like, scared for me, including because, of course, I'm telling all my friends this shit. But she was a bad bit. Like, she was gorgeous. Gorgeous. I got no sympathy from anyone. They're like, what's the problem with that? Sending her throat.

[Damaris]

I'm like, you gotta send you her throat.

[Rory]

You don't understand.

[Damaris]

Yeah, I don't want her throat. I want her to stop fucking following me to my job.

[Rory]

I feel like you would have a couple stalkers.

[Damaris]

I have one, maybe two. Maybe two. But I do a good job at, like, sensing that shit early and then not getting involved.

[Rory]

Like, surprising you with her mom and her aunt for months.

[Damaris]

Yeah, that would have been the first. I'd have been like, there's no way I'm putting my dick in there.

[Julian]

She would have got mauled back with the back of the throat.

[Damaris]

Nah. I'd have been like, yo, you need to brush your tongue. I'd have said some funny shit like, you need to brush your tongue.

[Rory]

But you got to understand, it took me a second, this is in 2010, on BBM messenger, to even realize what she said. I didn't even realize what it was for a second until started describing.

[Damaris]

He thought it was the Lincoln Tunnel.

[Rory]

I thought she took, like, a.

[Mall]

Traffic's crazy. Can't see the end of the tunnel.

[Damaris]

Yeah, he thought it was the Lincoln.

[Rory]

It was. It was a scary time.

[Damaris]

Oh, man.

[Julian]

You ever stalked a girl?

[Mall]

Have I stalked a girl? No.

[Julian]

You know what? I know none of you have stalked a girl. Would a girl ever say that you guys stalked her?

[Damaris]

A girl could never. She would be lying on her ass if she said I stalked nuts. Show me.

[Rory]

I told you guys the only time I got even remotely close, which was nothing like stalking, when I showed up on Valentine's Day to my ex's crib when I took the bus. I told that story.

[Mall]

Her mom drove you back home.

[Rory]

Yeah. Said, treat it like a piece of. And I was like, that's the most gangster I ever heard from a mom in my life.

[Mall]

I. I haven't stopped. But I'm not. I'm not. I'm also not afraid of getting rejected. So, like, if a girl say we hook up or have a date and I don't get a response I'll follow up. I'll double text. Like, I'll come cool with that. I'm not gonna like pull up and be like, where are you at? Like, I'm not gonna do that. But like, I'll get rejected twice. Three times. I don't give a. I already hit or like we already hung out. It doesn't matter.

[Damaris]

I just. I don't know, man. My. My pride is just too much sometimes. I can't do that. Like if I feel like I'm annoying you, I'm. I'm bothering you.

[Mall]

Not annoying like you.

[Damaris]

I feel that quick. Like when a girl don't want to be so stalking is like I could never bring myself to do. No like that.

[Rory]

Did you guys see Baby Reindeer on Netflix yet?

[Damaris]

I started watching it last night.

[Rory]

I finished it. We don't have to get into it because if we talk about it, we're going to spoil it. Yeah, I suggest everyone watch it because it is around. Stalking.

[Damaris]

Yeah.

[Rory]

This is stalking.

[Damaris]

No, no, 100%. But I love the first episode.

[Mall]

It's a series.

[Damaris]

It looks like it's going to. What episode are you on?

[Rory]

I finished it.

[Damaris]

Oh, you finished it?

[Rory]

Yeah, I finished it last night.

[Julian]

Oh, is she doing magic on him?

[Rory]

No, but. So this is a true story and the guy is. I believe the guy that is the main character is the one it actually happened to.

[Damaris]

How many episodes is it?

[Rory]

Eight, I want to say. Okay, but it's kind of wild. Yeah, it takes a lot of turns that you would never expect.

[Damaris]

Yeah, I enjoyed the first episode, but I was just too tired. I was like, I got it. Got to be up to watch this shit. But it did, it did feel like it was going to be a good show.

[Rory]

This. I mean, this isn't spoiling anything. It's actually could get to another topic. He's living with his ex girlfriend's mother.

[Mall]

Oh, geez.

[Damaris]

Gangster.

[Mall]

Is it?

[Rory]

Is it?

[Mall]

That's crazy.

[Damaris]

It's never gangster.

[Rory]

And then like, I think in the second episode, his ex's mom is like, just cause you dated my daughter. You know, you could bring like dates and shit in here. That would be the weirdest situation.

[Damaris]

Living with your ex's mom. How, How. How did life get there? Like, how are you down?

[Julian]

How young is he?

[Damaris]

That bad?

[Mall]

And were you living with her when you were. I don't get it. Were you living with her before? Did in with her after you guys broke up?

[Rory]

This isn't spoiling the show at all because this is like really in the beginning, just setting what's going on. He was dating the girl, they moved into her mom's house. She got sick of his shit and just moved away. Like she was just done with him and wanted to get out of there. And he stayed at the house and they just made an arrangement that he could live there. So he's technically living in his ex girlfriend's bedroom.

[Julian]

That's sick.

[Mall]

That's.

[Rory]

Which is insane.

[Julian]

Well, how big is that?

[Rory]

How would you feel like. But how would you feel too as a girl? Like going back to that guy's house, let alone how that guy would feel?

[Damaris]

Yeah, he'd be like, yo, this is my ex girlfriend's mom's house.

[Julian]

That's why I said, how big is the house?

[Rory]

It was like an old like bed and breakfast thing.

[Julian]

So it's big. It's a big house.

[Rory]

Yeah, but still, like, you gotta lie.

[Mall]

I'd be like, I live with my.

[Rory]

Aunt, she's black and he was white.

[Mall]

So you know, a black aunt, I.

[Julian]

Guess so adoption happens. I feel like if the house is. I'm very pro people staying at respectable homes where they have privacy because we're in a recession that they won't call a recession. So I can't blame him for that.

[Mall]

Yeah, but when did this take place?

[Rory]

Like current time? 20.

[Mall]

Oh, really?

[Rory]

14 or some like that in London. But I don't know, I just. I just feel like there's other places that you could.

[Damaris]

I'm not staying. Yeah, like I Like, come on, fam. That's just being like, you just a bum again. Pride. Yeah, like, where is it? I'm not staying at my ex girlfriend's mother's house. I don't care, like how fucked up I am. I'm not doing that. We're not together. I'm out of here.

[Mall]

Well, how about this scenario? Cause when we did the live show, we took some questions from the audience, some of which we didn't answer. So I feel like we can get to them now. And here's one. My husband and I were separated but still living in the same home until we sell our house. Can I date while we still live together or should I wait, I need some dick. And no, I don't want it from him. Lol.

[Julian]

Date and date you. I feel like you should be able to date, but just don't. Don't bring that back home with you. Obviously you can't bring him back home and just you. You don't got to make it obvious that you're dating.

[Damaris]

Wait, they're separated, they're not divorced.

[Rory]

They're trying to sell their house.

[Damaris]

Right.

[Rory]

So if they're separating and selling their house, they're gonna.

[Julian]

They're going to get worse.

[Rory]

Yeah, they're not separating. Selling their house to stay together. That's not happening.

[Damaris]

You can't.

[Rory]

You could date.

[Mall]

You could date, but you can't bring someone home.

[Julian]

Yeah, you just can't bring somebody home.

[Damaris]

Yeah, but if I'm dating and I can't bring them home, what the fuck am I doing?

[Julian]

They have houses. You can go home to their house.

[Damaris]

You got to go to his man. I'm not doing it because I'm actively avoiding that because of the situation, which means the situation needs to change, which means I should not be. We should not still be living in the same house.

[Rory]

But it's tough to sell a house.

[Julian]

Trying to sell it.

[Damaris]

That's the.

[Mall]

They're in the process of doing that.

[Damaris]

Yeah, but I mean, trying to date while you're in a. You're in the process of trying to sell your house that you have with your husband that you're separated from. I think dating should be to the back a little bit.

[Julian]

You know, it takes you to a year to sell a house.

[Rory]

She says I need some dick. Yeah, she's not say dating. She said I need to.

[Julian]

She's not trying to get married. Like, she wants to go out, have. She needs intimacy.

[Rory]

If I'm in this situation, we are completely separated. But I got a half on this house. You got a half? I'm not leaving until we sell the shit. Yeah, I'm gonna go out and get some pussy. Nothing wrong with that.

[Damaris]

See, that's why marriage and shit like that is so scary because you for, like, you go through shit like that where you gotta, like, I'm not leaving. Like, this is our home we have together, but obviously we're separated. We're trying to sell it. Like, you know how much that puts an inconvenience on your life?

[Rory]

Yeah.

[Damaris]

Like, I'm in a home with somebody that I used to be married to, but we're separated. But every day I have to come back to this home with this energy in here, bro. That is some crazy shit to have to deal with. I'm sorry.

[Rory]

This happens to people that also are just in relationships, let alone marriage.

[Julian]

Yeah, man.

[Damaris]

If we just in a relationship, you just my girlfriend. You getting the fuck out.

[Julian]

It don't work like that.

[Damaris]

Shit. If it's my. If it's my crib and we not together no more.

[Julian]

If you know people because we not.

[Damaris]

Together, something happened that's just like, all right, we.

[Rory]

What do you think? She came over for a sleepover? She's gonna grab her knapsack and leave.

[Julian]

Usually. First of all, in New York City, the average people, they're signing those leases together because you need both of their income for the average New York City apartment.

[Mall]

True.

[Julian]

So they're both. Their names are on the lease. It isn't here. Yeah. Sometimes one person owns the. Is in charge of the apartment, but usually it's split. We both. Both of our names are on this lease. Either we have to wait until the lease is up, or we have to try to find somebody to sublet. Like, life gets difficult sometimes, but so do job, so does family, so does life is just hard sometimes.

[Rory]

I don't think that this couch we both bought.

[Damaris]

It's nothing harder than going home and having to live with somebody that you are no longer with.

[Julian]

I promise you, there's harder shit.

[Damaris]

And seeing them every day. But get the fuck out. You don't want to go home. You literally will find yourself trying to find shit to do just to stay out as late as you can so that when you go in the house, hopefully this person is already sleep. And you don't even have to sit. Like, you know how crazy that is to have to live like that.

[Rory]

I don't think you realize how common that is in the world.

[Damaris]

That's insane shit, bro. That's fucking crazy to live like that. I'm sorry. That's some insane shit. That is not even a home at this point. That's just somewhere where you fucking shower and fucking lay down at, like, most.

[Julian]

People'S homes in New York City, especially if you have a roommate, it's either.

[Rory]

Do this or live like the lobsters. Like, you gotta take your pick.

[Damaris]

No, living with a roommate is something different, though. That's different than being married to somebody and y'all. Yeah, that's a totally different thing.

[Julian]

But of course. But I'm talking about as far as some people, like, it's not even a home. Like, it's. I'm not comfortable. I'm waiting. Plenty of people in New York City are like that with their roommates.

[Damaris]

Pray for, but their roommates.

[Julian]

Yes.

[Mall]

Yeah, a lot of people don't fuck with their roommate.

[Rory]

Most people don't.

[Mall]

Most people don't fuck with their roommates. The whole goal is to live alone in New York.

[Julian]

Like, people are in these situations not because they're choosing. They have no other choice. If there was another choice, they would take it.

[Damaris]

I would move out of New York. Before I deal with that, I'm getting the fuck out of here. I would. I would go somewhere where it's cheaper to live. I can't go home every day with somebody there that I don't want to see.

[Julian]

Not everybody has the career path where you can just pick up and move somewhere else. With the career that you have, you.

[Damaris]

Got to figure it out.

[Rory]

I've seen it firsthand.

[Damaris]

My.

[Rory]

My mother's best friend, her son, and his at the time girlfriend, they lived. All lived together in Washington Heights. They had a crazy fucking breakup. The apartment was three bedrooms, so he moved into the other bedroom. She stayed in the bedroom they were in initially and his mom was in the other one. And it turned into the worst fucking situation ever. But they lived there for like six months. It did end with my mom and her best friend putting all the keys to the apartment in the toilet and pissing in it and then leaving.

[Mall]

Wow.

[Rory]

Yeah, that's how it ended. I'm just saying it happens. It doesn't end well. But.

[Damaris]

One dick and you still live with your ex, with your ex husband. That's just crazy.

[Julian]

You're not allowed to want intimacy.

[Damaris]

Yeah, but I mean, by you, like, going through that situation, that's the time you need it. That's like being broken horny. It's like how you horny and you broke.

[Rory]

It was the time I was the horniest.

[Damaris]

That's sick. You think of my. You ain't got no funds, no money, no nothing.

[Rory]

Yeah, that's a.

[Julian]

That's a human instinct.

[Damaris]

That's crazy.

[Mall]

That's not money motivated.

[Damaris]

If I ain't got no money and I ain't got no, like, nothing coming, and my dick ain't even working. Working.

[Mall]

That's not how that works.

[Damaris]

I'm telling you, if I was broke, my dick would not be.

[Mall]

Yeah, but you're like.

[Julian]

I feel like at one point you were broke and your dick was working.

[Mall]

Oh, yeah, yeah.

[Damaris]

But broke meaning how I always had money to, like, do. Fund whatever I was doing. I'm talking about when ain't got nothing.

[Julian]

Well, they have a house, so I don't.

[Damaris]

I mean, but that's different though. I mean, it's like you living with your ex husband and you want dick. It's like, yeah, your ex husband is.

[Rory]

What's wrong with that?

[Damaris]

Your ex husband's right there, like, not attracted to him.

[Mall]

They're breaking.

[Julian]

I need some dick. And no, I don't want it from him. They're separated. They're not trying to be toxic. We're really done with each other, why would she go sleep with him now? That makes he go get pussy. Living with each other messy. That makes living with each other messy. If we're still fucking, but now we're not being.

[Damaris]

People be holding on to shit, man. People be lying to themselves, bro. They be acting like they separated and they not really separated.

[Rory]

She's literally acting like you're telling the truth in that regard. But I think this situation is very healthy. My husband and I are separated, but living in the same house until we sell our house. Yeah, but I understand in a adult type of way, especially for their finances. You are correct. There's plenty of people that hold on to shit and stay together. I understand that this seems like an actual healthy breakup right now, but you.

[Damaris]

Know why this is bullshit to me? Because you always have friends or family or somebody that's willing to, like, yo, they know you're going through a divorce. Like, yo, you can just stay with me.

[Julian]

Mall. Oh, my God. Like, no, you do not always have that. No, you don't. There's people.

[Damaris]

Okay, well, nine times out of ten, people have family and friends that if they were. If they were looked at like, yo, he's. She's going through a divorce. Divorce. She doesn't want to live in the same house with her ex husband. She wants to stay here. She has girlfriends. She has family, relatives. Somebody that's willing to say, yo, you can sleep on my couch. I have a spare bedroom. I have a basement, whatever. Like something you could just back to.

[Rory]

Pride and not wanting to be a burden to other people also. This is my fucking house. I'm staying.

[Mall]

Yeah, I'm paying.

[Julian]

I'm paying for this shit.

[Rory]

So I could be inconvenienced and be 35 years old sleeping on someone's couch.

[Damaris]

Sometimes you got to just pay for just a. The peace of mind. Like going home to somebody and being in the same house with somebody that you no longer wish to see or be with.

[Julian]

But she never said that. She never said that they have a negative relationship. She never said she was miserable in her house.

[Damaris]

So if it ain't negative, then give your husband some and stop acting crazy.

[Rory]

She doesn't want to.

[Damaris]

Yeah, because she want to. Other. All right, so then this.

[Rory]

This separated.

[Damaris]

This that y'all doing is more toxic than anything. Still living together and acting like y'all separated.

[Rory]

They own a home together. They're trying to sell it.

[Damaris]

That don't mean you gotta fucking sleep there. Cause you own the home. You know how many people I Know that own a home that they don't sleep in.

[Rory]

You just said pride based off the situation. I'm not sleeping in my ex girlfriends like I'm a man. I'm doing. You're gonna stay in the house that you're paying for my.

[Damaris]

Let me tell you something. If I'm married and me and my wife are going through a separation, there's no way that I'm gonna continue staying in that house. And I want some pussy and I'm gonna continue staying in the house. Having to go back to that fucking environment where I don't even want to see this woman.

[Julian]

Why have way too many somebody that you don't want to see this person. You know, some people's relationships are just like, oh, we grew apart. Like, we're not. We're not going to be together anymore. And that's just that that's fine.

[Damaris]

Then we don't need to be sleeping in the same house.

[Julian]

Of course, I'm sure that they're not choosing to.

[Damaris]

They are choosing to sleep in the same house.

[Rory]

The market is trash. It's tough to sell it.

[Damaris]

I'm not talking about selling it. They're choosing to still stay in that.

[Mall]

Same house because they're both financially tethered to this house. This has been their a living situation.

[Damaris]

It doesn't matter if you're financially tell. I'm telling you. I know people that own homes together. Follow me. They own this home together. They are no longer together and they have never slept in the same house while they were separated.

[Mall]

But not everybody has that ability.

[Damaris]

I'm not saying everybody does. I'm saying that some people do. I'm not saying that everybody has the option to not sleep in the same house. I'm saying me, I would never do this because I have the option not to. There's plenty of people I know. I'm like, bro, I gotta. I gotta crash your spare. I'm not staying in the house with this woman. I'm not doing it. Like we're not together. We're trying to sell a house. I don't want to go home to this. You can't even be comfortable in your own.

[Julian]

That's. And this is where. And I don't want to keep going in a circle about this. This is where we're asking. We think that you're confused. She never said that she was uncomfortable. They could be friends. They can be cool. Yo, we just not together no more. You know, you do your thing, I do your thing. We gonna wait till we sell this house. They can still be cordial, they can still be cool. Have I know people who have gotten divorced and they still have dinner together every once in a while. Like we binded our lives together. We obviously have a friendship. It's not that I'm never going to speak to you or see you again. I don't hate you. We are just not meant to be. And that's fine. We going to sell this house, whatever this shit.

[Damaris]

So we go from being married. We go from being married to roommates.

[Rory]

Yeah.

[Julian]

Happens so often.

[Rory]

All the time.

[Damaris]

Fuck out of here.

[Mall]

Well, okay, pretty much.

[Rory]

I'm sure every single divorce has been that way. And 50% of marriages get divorced. Every divorce has been what turned into people being roommates together.

[Damaris]

Nah, you got some divorces up.

[Rory]

You think every divorce is just one crazy moment and it's done.

[Damaris]

No, you.

[Rory]

I think it's.

[Damaris]

You think every divorce they're still living together even though they're separated?

[Rory]

I would say high majority of them.

[Damaris]

Hell no.

[Julian]

Yes. Even if they're not separated by paper, they separated emotionally and they might still be living together until they can come up with a better option. Nobody goes from straight, big blow up. I don't want to be with you. I don't want to be with you. And to leaving and never seen that.

[Rory]

Person leaving the house that they pay for.

[Julian]

The way that marriage works.

[Rory]

No way.

[Damaris]

There are some marriages that end like.

[Julian]

Yes, but we're not. We're talking about the majority. Of course there's some.

[Damaris]

I'm going to say the majority of marriages don't end with people saying, oh, we're going to live together until we sell a house. What?

[Rory]

I think you're wrong there.

[Damaris]

No. Hell no.

[Rory]

I think you're very well.

[Julian]

Do we have. We have.

[Damaris]

She.

[Julian]

She wanted some advice. Let's give her some advice.

[Rory]

Go get some dick outside of the house. I think if you wanted keep some peace and just don't come home at 4am get Dick when the sun is out and then just look at the y'all talking about.

[Julian]

Yeah, I know you can't. You can come home because y'all prove.

[Damaris]

Me right every time. What adult.

[Julian]

No, that was living like. That's where.

[Damaris]

What adult is living like that? Yo, I gotta stay. Yo, it's four in the morning, man.

[Rory]

To live on their friends in their 30s. I'm not doing that.

[Damaris]

Adults do that. Yes, adults do do that. Adults try to keep. When they're going through mar. When they're going through a divorce. Adults do do that. They go living it with Their friends, they go live with their brother or sister relatives. Somebody has.

[Julian]

Well, you let one of your homeboys come live on your couch for six months.

[Damaris]

I would. If it came down to it. Yeah. I absolutely would.

[Rory]

I would too. And I would hate it. And my friends would know that I would hate that.

[Julian]

And it would cause a rift in your friendship. It will be extremely uncomfortable for everybody involved.

[Rory]

I've had it happen.

[Damaris]

It depends on.

[Rory]

And you got to figure it out, because you can't. You're not living here. I'm an adult. You're an adult. You can stay here. But there is a time cap.

[Damaris]

I got certain friends that however much time they needed, they could stay with me because. Because they're that type of friend to me. They're not messy. They're not. You know what I'm saying? Gonna have a bunch of people in and out my spot. Yeah.

[Mall]

But even that would up your rhythm with you bringing people over, like you bringing women over. You just have a guy on your couch the whole time.

[Damaris]

That wouldn't. That wouldn't up my rhythm at all.

[Julian]

But more. You're also. You're also based off the 60 single week without any kids, you're asking me.

[Damaris]

About if I would let it purchase.

[Julian]

So. Okay.

[Rory]

But that's based off the situation.

[Julian]

Most people in you guys's age range are not single and without kids. A lot of. A lot of people are. But most people have something. There's someone else that lives in that house.

[Damaris]

Yeah.

[Rory]

That's what.

[Julian]

So you're not just making you uncomfortable. Yes. You're single. You have that freedom. I'm single. I also have that freedom to let my friends keep do that. But a lot of my friends, I couldn't do that for to them if.

[Rory]

My friend was really, really up and needed a place to stay. Of course they could stay as long as they would want. I would never. If they. I would never throw them out on their ass if they have a perfectly good home with another bedroom and they're working on selling their house and moving and getting their together. All right. Yeah. Just crazy. Stay here for a little bit. But you got to figure this out, bro. You're not moving anywhere.

[Damaris]

That's the process. But what I'm saying is y'all saying that now they got to stay in the same house because they. They. That's their house. They paid for it. What don't mean you gotta stay there. Cause you bought the house. I'm not going to that home where that person is. Me and that person not together. I'M not trying to be in the same house. I can't even do the things that I want to do freely in that house. Why am I going here every night?

[Mall]

Would you bring a mall? If this was your situation and you were separating with someone, would you bring women over to the house? Or how would you go?

[Damaris]

No, because just out of respect. And then it's an awkward situation. Like you said, I go to this home and my ex wife is here. She lives here. And now me and a girl that I'm now currently seeing are dating, are in the living room or in the kitchen, like eating or talking.

[Julian]

That's crazy as fuck.

[Rory]

That's what I'm saying.

[Damaris]

You can't do that.

[Rory]

That's why I said out of respect. Don't come home at 4am and wake everybody up. Like that's what I was saying. If you want to go get dick, go get it somewhere else.

[Damaris]

So now I got to get home at a certain time and we're not together.

[Julian]

Rory, I think that that's, that's.

[Rory]

Stay at his house and come back.

[Julian]

At 10:00am No, I can come home at 4:00. I could do whatever the fly. Even if I'm married, I get a real come home. What do you. How is that?

[Damaris]

As long as I don't bring nobody in, I don't have to come in here a certain hour just because I.

[Julian]

Was with a man. So if I was out with my friends till four.

[Damaris]

You better put crazy.

[Julian]

As he's wild relationships and came home at 4.

[Damaris]

That's what I'm saying. He still want to be with her?

[Julian]

Okay, who, if you, if you telling.

[Rory]

If you telling what he talking about?

[Damaris]

If you separated from your wife. If you separated from your wife, y'all still living together and you be like, oh, you, you, you. You should be in here before four years.

[Rory]

No, that sound like that's still your bitch. No, I wouldn't.

[Damaris]

You telling her what time she got a baby?

[Rory]

If you separated and I'm out getting pussy. No, of course I'm not doing that. Of course not. Come home, we're not together.

[Julian]

He says show respect.

[Damaris]

Don't live here no more. But I'm not bringing a woman here. I'm not doing that. I would never do that.

[Rory]

But that's a form of respect.

[Damaris]

No, no, that's a form.

[Julian]

Coming home at 4am it doesn't that like, that doesn't matter.

[Damaris]

No, I'm not, I'm not bringing a woman here because then she's gonna be uncomfortable. Then the girl that I'm with is gonna be uncomfortable.

[Rory]

She, another woman goes without saying, don't bring a man or a woman into the house in this situation.

[Damaris]

Right. But you talking about coming home at a certain time.

[Rory]

I mean, wow. And you wowing.

[Julian]

Who says you gonna be loud?

[Rory]

I just finally got new come in.

[Damaris]

Like he want to cook something.

[Rory]

Back on the market.

[Julian]

It's 4am what the fuck is 5 in the morning?

[Rory]

Somebody cooking. Like you've never been a long term relationship then got back on the market and like lived a little.

[Damaris]

Yeah, I didn't come in the house in the morning. I didn't come in house at five in the morning to start fire up the stove.

[Rory]

It's like losing Virginia.

[Damaris]

Yeah, like what the, what the. I don't know. I'm going to sleep, I'm going to lay down.

[Rory]

So why would you guys want to bring. Not you guys, but why would you want to bring somebody back if you've been a long term relationship in that house and that was your, your home with your wife, go have fun and in their house that would be way better.

[Julian]

I don't see any, I don't see anybody doing that. I think she, she like she said, can I date while we still live together? Should I wait? Girl, if you just want dick, go get dick. Like don't go get dick. You don't gotta rub it in his face and you know, just do your thing. Just don't go get dick. Ain't nothing wrong with that.

[Rory]

Well, we don't know this woman's age. But there was another question that could be tied to it specifically to Damaris. Where can a woman in her mid to late 30s with a great job find a man she likes mall type of guys? Just as a prefix of where she should find.

[Damaris]

Where can a woman in her mid to late 30s with a great job find a good man?

[Julian]

I'm gonna ignore the last sentence.

[Rory]

What is a mall type guy?

[Julian]

I don't know.

[Damaris]

Let mall tell us what is a mall type of guy? I don't, I don't know. I don't know what that means.

[Rory]

Just a charming an 8.

[Julian]

I think she's talking about the way you dress. Gotta be the way you dress and what you're into speak.

[Rory]

I go to the Bronx.

[Damaris]

Go to the Concord.

[Mall]

Tell her to go to the Bronx.

[Rory]

Where. Where do women find men these days outside of dating apps?

[Julian]

Oh your ass. I have no clue. I genuinely don't have any clue. Outside of Instagram, I would assume you would go to like parties like you would Go to, like, a skin. The skin or like a. Just burgers and bottles, like something where people gather? No, I. I don't know. I don't know.

[Damaris]

Good man and no burgers and bottles.

[Julian]

I'm ignoring good.

[Rory]

Why you say that?

[Julian]

Listen, I ignore good. I'm just trying to help her find a man. I ignored the good. I don't know where the men be at Whole Foods.

[Damaris]

The thing that's interesting, she says she has a great job. So it's interesting that a woman that has a great job feels like she can't find a good man. Because usually if you have a great job, you travel a lot for work.

[Rory]

You fucking depends the occupation.

[Damaris]

I mean, well, it depends on occupation, but if it's a great job, we can assume that there's some travel for work involved. That's a great job.

[Rory]

Or some vacation time where she can travel on her own time.

[Mall]

I think that implies that she's not financially struggling.

[Rory]

Yeah, but probably doesn't have a lot of time to just run around. Yeah, probably just as weekends.

[Damaris]

But I feel like when you have certain jobs, like, if you have a great job, you just are in a certain type of, like, ecosystem where people, you know, you hanging out with places where people have great jobs. There's banquets, there's things like that. Like, I just feel like it would be kind of easy to find at least a good guy in that type of world.

[Rory]

I mean, I can speak for when I was at Havas ad agency, shit, I was one of the youngest people there. So I did, like, watch a lot of very successful women in their mid-30s that were a majority single. And we traveled a lot, but they always treated that stuff as work all the time. Like, even when we went out and did, like, Havas had office in Atlanta, we would go down there, we would do, like, retreats and all that shit. They treated that just like work. All of them were on dating apps. Every last one of them, like, anything that was in the work ecosystem. Because there was a bunch of single men that were successful that they got along with. They just viewed it so much as work and wanted to be an equal that they never, like, looked to date. They would just sit on that fucking app. I would just watch them swipe, swipe all day.

[Damaris]

And also, this is tricky, because what you look like, because you have a great job, and if you're not attractive, it doesn't matter.

[Julian]

Everybody attractive to somebody.

[Damaris]

You're not a good man.

[Julian]

You sound crazy. Some of the best men. Some of the best men, actually, the the who only go after bad tend not to be good men. And when I say bad, I'm talking about a specific type of bad. Not your own personal version of bad. I'm talking about the pergola bad. Those don't. Those don't tend to be good.

[Damaris]

No pergola, no thank you. Yeah, I'm cool.

[Julian]

Yeah. But yeah, she doesn't want to date anybody around who issue works. People would consider. People think that we have good jobs. We. We're all single. Well, not you, but we're all single. People think we have the coolest job in the world.

[Rory]

I just. I don't know.

[Julian]

We can't find a relationship to save.

[Rory]

Our life because I don't think a mall type of guy is On a.

[Mall]

Dating DMs are open, so.

[Rory]

Yeah. Or just the mall directly.

[Damaris]

Please don't.

[Rory]

Because a mall type of guy isn't on a dating app.

[Julian]

No, no.

[Rory]

That's where I don't have much advice because I've seen women with great jobs in their mid to late 30s. That's the only way I've seen them.

[Mall]

You got to drop money bags under mall's photo.

[Julian]

You got to go get a cool homegirl. And your cool homegirl is who's going to. That's the thing. Like if you want a mal. I don't want to just say a mall type guy, but whatever. If you want a mall type guy, you're not going to get him through the Internet unless you look a certain way. Like he's going to have to be in the same room with you. And in order to do that, you got to go through friends. You gotta. The longest relationships last and are formed through mutual connections. You got to have a mutual friend.

[Damaris]

Yeah. Because that's because your friend knows the person you are, knows what you like, knows what the other person likes. So most times that is like, okay, I already. Y'all two would get along.

[Rory]

What you mean by the cool homegirl, though? In mid to late 30s? Cause the cool homegirl in mid to late 30s is sometimes on the edge of being the old chick in the club.

[Julian]

I would consider myself the cool homegirl. I would consider Yomi Yomi the cool homegirl.

[Rory]

The mid to late 30s one though. Remember that scene in Atlanta when Childish Gambino's baby mom links with her friend that fucks with all the athletes and shit on Instagram and takes her out for one night? That's the cool homegirl when she's trying to get back out there.

[Julian]

I don't think that's the cool home.

[Rory]

I don't do this. Like, I have a job.

[Julian]

That's not what I'm talking about. I don't want to cool homegirl.

[Rory]

Hang out with this guy that's on the bench for the Falcons and, like, go. That's not my thing.

[Julian]

That's not what I'm talking about. When I say the cool homegirl, all.

[Rory]

That girl, like, it was her homegirl that grew up. They grew up together, but they went different paths, same age. She was just the IG chick. She drove the Benz. She was going to Turks the next day. She was just in Atlanta for the day. Took her to some dinner. She's like, I don't talk to just some rookie athlete. Like, I have a child and I'm 33.

[Julian]

No, that's the.

[Rory]

I have to go to work tomorrow.

[Julian]

I teach the lit homegirl. When I say the cool homegirl, that's why I asked.

[Rory]

What cool?

[Julian]

No, when I say cool, I mean, like, the girl that tends to have male friends. I have a lot of male friends. Yomi has a lot of male friends. Like, we will. We will always have that. Even when we hit our 30s, 40s, whatever. So we tend to know a lot of men because of what we do for a living and because we're cool, we tend to spend a lot of time with men so we can put our friends on. I might try to put a girl on. She might be like, oh, I like Julian. Okay, I'll put you on with Julian. That kind of thing. That's when I say the cool homegirl.

[Rory]

How do you go about that in your male rolodex, when one of your homegirls says, do you have any friends? Because that happens to me a lot. I have a lot of homegirls that come to me like, yo, do you have friends? And I typically say, my friends aren't probably the I know my friends type that you're. I say, new looking for.

[Julian]

I have some. Some male friends that I'll be like, okay. Like, I really think. Because it depends on what you coming to me for, shorty. Like, you coming to me for the trick? I got the trick, homeboy. You coming to me for a. You can have a blast with. Get drunk when he can the out. You got that homeboy. Like, you want a serious relationship. I got that homeboy like, But I'm going to be honest with you. I'm not going to throw him under the bus, But I'm going to be honest with you. Like, don't waste your time.

[Rory]

Damn. Now you Gotta think what you saved, as in your homegirl's phone.

[Damaris]

No, you don't.

[Julian]

Your name. Your name is saved. That's what it is.

[Rory]

Do you understand what she thinks about you?

[Damaris]

If it's your homegirl, she ain't gonna. She ain't gonna kick you back in, though. She ain't gonna.

[Rory]

No, of course not. But it's.

[Damaris]

She will tell homegirl, like, yo, listen, don't even.

[Rory]

Don't do it. It's the best self reflection, because it's your homegirl, you know, that she loves you and wouldn't kick your back in. But that is how she view you. Like, views you at this time in your life. Like, nah, he's just gonna fuck. Like, he's not even looking for that. You sitting there like, damn, I'm that guy now, right?

[Mall]

Yeah, but what if you're that guy?

[Rory]

Like, what if you don't want to be that guy at the moment?

[Mall]

Well, yeah, you ain't gonna experiment with.

[Damaris]

That guy at one point, though.

[Rory]

I think most guys were that guy at one point.

[Damaris]

Yeah. And I would hope that my female friend would say that, like, yo, he. You know, he used to be wild, but he cool now. He kind of settled down, slowed down a little bit. He don't be out there as much as he used to be. So, yeah, here, take his number, call him, whatever. But that's only if that's like your real homegirl. If it's like your homegirl, but y'all, like, she gave you some friendly head one night, like, years ago. Cause I got a few of those.

[Rory]

That's. Yeah, that's a different type of hair.

[Mall]

I got a few of those.

[Damaris]

It was like. It's like, it's the homie, man. Like, we was chilling one night and got a little friendly head.

[Mall]

And friendly head is hilarious.

[Julian]

Friendly head is hilarious. I've never given friendly head in my life. I've gotten friendly head, though.

[Damaris]

Yeah, see, you gotta get a little friendly head. And, you know, it's like, you know, we kind of act like that night never happened.

[Rory]

How would you feel if that exact advice about you was in reverse? Yo, she was out outside for a while, but she slowed down and, like, that's not her no more. She cool.

[Julian]

That's crazy. You can't do that to your female homegirl. Yeah, you can't do that.

[Damaris]

Hell, yeah. If my homeboy really liked one of my female friends, I'm like, yo, listen, I'm telling.

[Julian]

She used to be ho.

[Damaris]

What?

[Julian]

That's cool.

[Damaris]

I give them the complete car Fact, I mean, you.

[Rory]

That's on both sides. We should all be honest with our friends.

[Damaris]

You have to. You have. Like, I can never hook my homeboy up with a girl and didn't be like, yo. But yo, she kind of went wild with the Knicks, like, that summer, like, two shooting Knicks.

[Julian]

Unless he cool with the Knicks.

[Rory]

They were in a rebuilding year, but.

[Damaris]

Yeah, but he a fan, so none.

[Rory]

Of them are here anymore.

[Damaris]

The niggas on his fantasy team. I can't let, like, yo, he.

[Rory]

That's. That's cool.

[Damaris]

He hit that.

[Julian]

Rory, if I want one of your friends and you. You better not. You better not. Yeah. Say, yo, I ain't gonna lie.

[Mall]

You've never done that.

[Julian]

The Knicks.

[Mall]

No, no, I mean, like, have a whole. Now.

[Julian]

It was the Nuggets. But listen, don't do that.

[Rory]

I didn't even know that.

[Mall]

Wait.

[Julian]

Yeah, it was a joke. It was a joke. But don't do that.

[Rory]

Like, I mean, they're great this year.

[Mall]

Joking.

[Julian]

Just don't do that. Just be like, nah, she could get.

[Rory]

Yokovic would be crazy.

[Damaris]

Yo, listen, man, I'm gonna tell y'all right now. If I find out. Damaris Joker. Yeah, I'm done. I'm done.

[Mall]

Like a 7:2 Serbian.

[Damaris]

I'm done. I'm done. I'm completely done if it's damaged.

[Julian]

But, yeah, what if I get you the interview?

[Damaris]

That interview. I don't give a. About the Joker. Give a fuck about that. I'm laughing at you fucking that nigga. Like, that's the interview. I want to interview you at that point. Fuck him now.

[Julian]

He caught in a fire.

[Damaris]

He caught on a fire. That nigga looked like a big toe without the nail on it, man.

[Rory]

Imagine that scenario. All right, let's say no podcast exists. You come up to me, it's like, yo, I'm really feeling your homegirl Damaris. Like, what's up with her? What's going on? I'm like, yo, super, super cool girl actually only has, like, one body, but it's Yokovic.

[Julian]

Nah, that'd be. You gotta throw him in the mix with, like, six other niggas. He can't be the. That's why she's.

[Rory]

Yo, she's not a hoe. Like, she's. She's right. She's wifey material. Everything you need, she's there.

[Damaris]

It's.

[Rory]

But it's yolk. Yolk is the only one.

[Damaris]

It's the only one.

[Rory]

That's the craziest body ever.

[Damaris]

That almost might. That almost might get deleted. Like, if I meet a girl and she bad, and she be like, yo, I joker, though I might laugh and just delete that line.

[Mall]

Like, you're. You're joking, though.

[Damaris]

Yo, like, are you serious? Like, how did that even happen?

[Rory]

But she flew to his country.

[Damaris]

Flying to Serbia is key.

[Julian]

It's flown out to Serbia is wild.

[Mall]

Him and the horses hit it. That's what he does in his spare time.

[Damaris]

Once again, you gotta like where that was at.

[Rory]

We're having such a good time.

[Mall]

What's wrong with that? He's like a Horus guy.

[Damaris]

I don't.

[Rory]

What. There goes the fun.

[Julian]

Yeah.

[Damaris]

What is he talking about.

[Rory]

At this point, though? At your age, would you take the. Hey, she slowed down Pepto.

[Julian]

He can't.

[Damaris]

I'm not taking. No, I slow.

[Mall]

What if she slowed down, like, 10 years ago? Like, it's abandoned while.

[Damaris]

You know, this is why that's, to me is like. I mean, if you. That's your. Your thing. Cool. But I can't do that because. No, but I can't do that. Only because there's so many girls that. That did not, like, go through shit like, that didn't have that whole phase where they was just like, fucking a bunch of guys.

[Rory]

Yeah, I feel it.

[Damaris]

There's so many girls out here that have never done that. So that's why it's like, if you want that, cool. I'm not knocking at it. She had a whole phase, and now she's ready to settle down. And that's who you fall in love with. Great. I'm saying, me, there's definitely options of women that have never. Don't even know what that lifestyle is about, that have never done. Have been in long relationships or they just decided they wanted to be single for a while and things like that. But they never had that phase where they was in the club fucking table hopping every fucking month. Like, nah.

[Rory]

That's how you end up with a woman saying, me and my husband are separated, trying to sell our house, and I'm trying to get some dick. There's no.

[Damaris]

Well, she's not getting. She's not getting dick right now. So, you know, she's about to start.

[Rory]

Her whole phase in her 30s.

[Damaris]

Oh, well, then that's. You know, that's a black girl also.

[Julian]

Don't do that. Also, she never said she's black.

[Rory]

Which one is either either or.

[Damaris]

Either or.

[Rory]

It could get even worse from one of those D.C. questions, because then you're going to end up like this gentleman. How do I ask my boyfriend for a threesome? With another man. I'm a girl, by the way.

[Damaris]

How can I get my man to agree to a threesome with me and another man? I'm a girl, by the way. See, that's. That's.

[Rory]

To me, that's the girl that didn't have the whole phase. No, that girl's scarier to me.

[Damaris]

No, that's. This is a girl that just is. She has a weird fantasy that she wants to get off.

[Mall]

She wants to get roasted.

[Julian]

It's not weird. You know how many.

[Damaris]

Never mind wanting your man to you with another man.

[Julian]

A lot of women have that fantasy. They just won't act.

[Damaris]

And a lot of women are weird how?

[Mall]

I don't think it's weird for a woman to think of that. If you're a woman and you like.

[Damaris]

Dick in the room with another, he back out like, come on, bro.

[Mall]

Yeah, but you're a woman.

[Damaris]

It's okay to say is weird, bro.

[Julian]

That's not why.

[Damaris]

Yeah, so that's weird.

[Julian]

That's weird for you.

[Mall]

I think it's weird for the man if you're not into that. But for a woman, if you like dick, why. That's the reason why in the room. I want four titties.

[Damaris]

Listen to what I'm saying. The reason why she's trying to get her man to agree to it is because it's weird.

[Mall]

If it was for him, it's weird.

[Julian]

No, because men wouldn't be a. It would be it you now if you were to say it's weird for him to like that.

[Mall]

Thank you.

[Julian]

I. I don't king shame, but I can see where you're going with that. It's weird for him to like it, so of course she's not gonna. There's men that are afraid that are afraid to ask their girlfriend for threesomes because they like. Like, I'm scared she not gonna. Would men be the same. They be scared to ask their women for threesomes, too. Rory, am I lying?

[Rory]

Yeah, I agree.

[Julian]

That happens all the time.

[Rory]

For this advice. I think that's the weirdest part of this entire thing. Yeah, I would have.

[Damaris]

I have no advice, so just something clear. Y. I don't think it's weird for a girl to ask for a threesome with her for her man with another man. That's not weird to none of you?

[Julian]

No, I don't think it's weird for her to fantasize about it.

[Rory]

Yeah, to fantasize.

[Julian]

I don't think that that's a weird fantasy think at all.

[Mall]

Yeah, I don't either.

[Julian]

I don't think that's.

[Rory]

Don't ever ask me. No like that. But yeah, have some respect for me because you know I would never do that.

[Damaris]

Why? Why wouldn't you do it?

[Rory]

Because I don't want to my girl with another man.

[Damaris]

Why not?

[Rory]

Because I don't. There's not like. There's no not.

[Damaris]

Because. Because it's not weird for the man.

[Mall]

It's weird for the woman. It's not weird for the woman. It's like a fantasy.

[Damaris]

That's a. Do y'all understand that it's okay to have a weird fantasy if you have a girl?

[Mall]

If you have a girlfriend?

[Damaris]

So why are you. So why are you. So why are you trying to stay away from word weird. It's okay to say something is weird, but if you.

[Rory]

But it's more socially acceptable. Because if I want to ask my girl 43 some with another girl, it's way more accepted. It's. It does it. Why is that a weird fantasy?

[Damaris]

Way more accepted.

[Julian]

Is that a weird fantasy?

[Rory]

Set the rules here.

[Julian]

Is that a weird fantasy for him to want two?

[Damaris]

For. For a man to want two?

[Rory]

Yeah.

[Julian]

Is that a weird fantasy?

[Damaris]

No, that's not a weird fantasy.

[Julian]

Okay.

[Rory]

And I'm saying.

[Mall]

But it's weird for a woman to want two digs.

[Damaris]

Yeah. It's just the way it is. Double standards exist. I didn't create it. That was like that before I got here. Hey, I found the world in the shape it was in. I don't know if y'all know that or not. When I arrived, it was like this. It is weird for a girl to want her man to fuck her with another man. That's weird.

[Rory]

I feel like if you were Mel Gibson in the movie what Women want with an X rating, it would blow your mind if I was Mel Gibson.

[Damaris]

Why?

[Rory]

I think you would just view women drastically different if you could actually hear their thoughts. Women.

[Damaris]

I don't have to hit it.

[Rory]

Women that I'm sure you find like to be the perfect example of what a woman is. If you knew what they thought, you would not view her the same way. Here's my thing. I'm sure there's been plenty of women I've been with that have fantasized or thought about that in their head. I don't think it's weird. Just don't ask me that because I have made it very clear with everything in my life that I do not want to another with another man. I just don't. Because it's weird for Me, I don't.

[Damaris]

That's all I'm saying. It's weird for her.

[Rory]

That's not weird for her.

[Mall]

It's not.

[Damaris]

I think that's weird with her man to want to want her to her.

[Mall]

I think that's way more common than anything.

[Damaris]

I'm not saying it's not common. I'm saying I think it's weird for a woman to want to a man. Her man with another man. That's weird.

[Julian]

So if it's common and it's in the reverse, fine. How would it be weird?

[Rory]

How is it? That's weird.

[Damaris]

Weird shit is common, though. But weird shit is common, though, especially these days. Weird shit is very complicated. People do weird shit all the time to go viral. So that, like, weird is acceptable these days. Weird is actually something that people want to do these days. Like, I want to do the weirdest shit. I want to out weird everybody else that's trying to be weird.

[Mall]

True.

[Damaris]

That's just the world we live in. But you don't want to do it with your girl because to you, that's weird. I'm not fucking my girl with another guy.

[Rory]

I don't want to do it period. Let alone with my girl or any girl, because it's weird. So where do you to me? I don't want.

[Damaris]

I got that part because it's weird.

[Julian]

It's weird to you because they don't get any. Because they don't get any pleasure out of it. Of course it's going to be weird to them. Also, if I was a straight woman and you came to me and you were. If you came to me and wanted me to have a threesome with another woman, that would be weird to me because I'm not attracted to women. Are you following me?

[Damaris]

Yeah, I get that part. But what I'm saying is that is more socially acceptable.

[Julian]

So you let society tell you what you should.

[Damaris]

Society. Don't tell me. I'm just saying. That's what I'm saying.

[Julian]

But you keep bringing up society because.

[Damaris]

That'S more socially acceptable for a guy to be like, I had a threesome with my girl with another girl. Then if a guy be like, yo, me and this dude we met at the bar, went upstairs, fucked my wife last night.

[Mall]

Love my wife.

[Damaris]

Y'all did what? Socially? It's weird. That's all I'm saying.

[Julian]

For a man, but for a woman.

[Damaris]

I know, for women, I know women that would never fuck another man with their man. They.

[Julian]

I'm one of those women. I would never do that. But I'm not going to say that a woman's fit that. That fantasy, especially to women who really like dick. I wouldn't say that that fantasy. To have that fantasy is weird. I think to ask on it is bold, but I don't think that it's a weird fantasy to have. If you like dick. If you like dick, yes, you'd like more than one in the room. I don't think that that's a weird thought to have. The same way you like, you're gonna want more than one in the room. That's not weird.

[Mall]

I like more than one.

[Damaris]

I've never. But see, me, I'm different because I've never even had a threesome. So you asking the wrong person, by.

[Rory]

The way, that's not weird that I.

[Julian]

It's not weird to never. To not have a threesome. I know plenty of men who haven't had one.

[Damaris]

Who said that was weird?

[Rory]

Oh, I thought you were alluding the three questions.

[Damaris]

No, I'm just saying you want more than one pussy. I'm like, well, I've never had a threesome, so to me, that doesn't even matter. But I would. I have a threesome with two women, of course. But I'm not. If I wanted it, I could have had it. I'm not like chasing that and actively seeking that. Like, it's not that serious to me.

[Julian]

Well, let's answer her question. What was her exact question?

[Rory]

Unanswerable? I don't know.

[Mall]

Yeah, apparently we can't answer it. She wants to. Well, this is more to you I get. Or I guess to everyone. How do you convince him to.

[Rory]

Don't convince. Like, if he's not with it.

[Damaris]

There's no convincing a man.

[Rory]

You can't convince him if he's not going to do it.

[Damaris]

Yeah, like a man is not going to agree to fuck his girl with another guy unless he's into that type of shit.

[Julian]

I'm not. I'm not going to lie. Her even asking make me feel like she got away at persuading him. Because if you, you know, when your nigga is not doing that, you know, you don't even ask. You would never even ask because you know what type of man you have. If you're asking us, he could probably be persuaded. Keep asking.

[Damaris]

All right, so let me ask you something. If you, if you felt like. So you say you wouldn't even fuck with a dude that you feel like would have a threesome with you, another man?

[Julian]

I wouldn't say. I wouldn't with A dude? I wouldn't say that. What I will say is the type of men that I tend to go after do not tend to be into those things. I'm not against it, but the type of men that I'm attracted to tend to not be into those type of things.

[Damaris]

So if you had a man and he was like, yo, I want to have a threesome with you, with another.

[Julian]

Guy, no, I'm not into that. That's not what I'm. That's not my fantasy. I don't like men enough. I barely want to have sex with one. There's women, there's mad women. I'd rather bring a woman into something.

[Rory]

But even if this is reversed, I'd still have the same advice. If you're. Don't convince your girl to have a threesome. If your girl don't want to have a threesome, don't try to convince her because it's not gonna go well.

[Julian]

Yeah, but I, I, I, I do feel like if, if she's asking us, I feel like he could be persuaded. But if he's against, be persuaded because.

[Rory]

You know what browser history.

[Julian]

You know what, man? Not with it, bro. If he wasn't with it, she wouldn't even ask.

[Damaris]

She wouldn't even really.

[Julian]

She wouldn't even ask. You don't, you know the type of.

[Damaris]

She would just show up with another.

[Julian]

That's not what I'm talking about. If a girl's never ask him all that. A girl's never asking that they know what you're into sexually, like. But yeah, I don't know. If he doesn't want to do it, babe, outside of the jokes, to persuade him. If he doesn't want to do it, don't do it.

[Rory]

You don't ask him that question.

[Julian]

But if that's something that you feel like you need for your sex life, then you're in the wrong. You're in a relationship with the wrong person. Go get in a relationship with somebody else, or else you're gonna be sexually unsatisfied.

[Rory]

That's. That's a relationship ending question.

[Julian]

Yeah, yeah.

[Mall]

Different scenario.

[Rory]

If a girl asks you that. That's a relationship ending question.

[Mall]

Different scenario. Not a threesome thing. Because I've seen this.

[Damaris]

If it's two lobsters, go ahead.

[Rory]

Yeah, yeah.

[Mall]

If one takes her shell off, you pee in her mouth. No. So, okay, there's this thing that's, like, common now, the whole cucking thing. It's pretty common.

[Damaris]

If.

[Mall]

What if she. How do I flip this for this situation? What if she wanted. I guess no guy would be okay with this. But she wanted her boyfriend to watch her get fucked by another guy.

[Damaris]

She wanted her boyfriend.

[Julian]

What do you mean? What if. What's your question?

[Mall]

Like, I'm saying she. Well, I guess the fantasy would have to come from the guy's end because you. The fantasy would be the guy gets off on watching his girl get.

[Rory]

You have to react.

[Julian]

So I think he's asking.

[Mall]

I'm asking you guys. Okay, so here's the scenario.

[Damaris]

If.

[Mall]

If a guy and a girl are together, and the guy gets off on watching his girl get. And the girl comes to you, you two says, not at the same time, separately, but like, hey, Rory, I'm attracted to you. My guy likes watching me get. Can you me in front of him? Would you do that?

[Rory]

I've been through this.

[Julian]

He's been. That he's not doing.

[Rory]

It's happened to me in. In my life and. No, I ran out of the hotel room.

[Julian]

Yeah, they had it. I've told you, but I had it on camera.

[Mall]

Whatever.

[Rory]

He walked out with an iPad either. He's lucky he didn't get murdered in that.

[Damaris]

You want me yo. Your girl in front of you? Yeah, no, it's never. Never happened.

[Rory]

I'm not doing that.

[Damaris]

No way. That's. That's just not. That's insane.

[Rory]

I can tell you. I've been in the situation with my dick out and her dick. My dick. I'm sick. Did I just admit something? Yeah, you're my dick in her mouth.

[Damaris]

Huh?

[Mall]

And she had her dick, and she.

[Rory]

Did not have it. Well, you know what? She never took her. Her pants off in that way. So she may have.

[Damaris]

Yeah, I didn't know. Who knows?

[Rory]

I don't ever want to know.

[Mall]

Wait, so, okay, she was giving you head and there was a guy in the room.

[Rory]

Yeah, I've told the story. I don't remember the quickest story ever met a girl. She invited me back to her hotel room. I get there, she makes me wait 10 minutes in the lobby. Then I come upstairs, she's ready to go, starts sucking me off. Her husband walks out of the bathroom with an iPad and starts filming. Is like, nah, nah, it's cool. Like, we do this all the time. No.

[Mall]

And he came out the gate recording.

[Rory]

I thought I was about to get robbed.

[Damaris]

You should have beat his book, Rob. He was about to get hammered by both of them.

[Rory]

He said no this whole time. I just want you to. My girl coming out of the bathroom.

[Damaris]

With the iPad on record straight.

[Mall]

Roy said like this too.

[Rory]

I still have the image of my.

[Damaris]

He was holding a sign. He was at the game. What the was he doing? Go. Next. Go.

[Rory]

That was crazy.

[Damaris]

Nah, man. That's some crazy right there.

[Rory]

It was wild.

[Damaris]

I thought you knew he was in the room.

[Rory]

No, he was in the bath, the bathroom door open, and I thought I was about to get robbed.

[Damaris]

Oh, my God.

[Rory]

Damn, she went right to it.

[Damaris]

That's fucking crazy. That's insane right there. That type of thing was one of.

[Rory]

The wildest situations I've been in. Luckily, I deleted that video.

[Mall]

I kind of like that two man that they did. Because, like, she was like, okay, maybe if my. If his dick is in my mouth, then he won't. Because it's already half. There's no convincing. Like, this.

[Damaris]

This happened.

[Mall]

I'm tapping like he's getting head. Maybe he'll just be like, okay, I guess.

[Damaris]

Yeah. Because no guy of a guy kind of made it.

[Mall]

Like, she tried to try. Yeah. Like, to run out the room.

[Rory]

She was getting head.

[Damaris]

Like, you threw a monkey wrench in her.

[Rory]

Push her off of me and said, no. Give me that iPad. Deleted the video and got the up out of there.

[Mall]

She must have been like, this never happens. Usually it's fine.

[Damaris]

Yeah, usually, like.

[Mall]

Yeah.

[Damaris]

What's wrong with him?

[Rory]

Like, I just hit delete. I. I didn't go in the.

[Damaris]

Delete, delete that.

[Mall]

You didn't double delete.

[Damaris]

You gotta empty the trash. He didn't empty the trash.

[Rory]

I don't. Yeah, I don't think I did that.

[Damaris]

Yeah. Nah, they still got that shit. Damn. Don't worry. They got that on you.

[Julian]

Ain't nut, though. So it wasn't, like, entertaining for them.

[Damaris]

That's fucking crazy. I wish the fuck I would be getting head from some chicken hunt, man. Come out the bathroom with an iPad. Are you fucking kidding me? Now your husband is dead. Look what you did. He on the floor, bullet in his fucking chest.

[Mall]

Look, filming the iPad is crazy.

[Damaris]

What?

[Rory]

This was a long. It was a big iPad.

[Julian]

He wanted the big screen. He wanted the monitor on that.

[Rory]

I don't think pros existed.

[Damaris]

Yeah, the pro before the pro. They had the prototype to the pro.

[Rory]

She was the size of this. This MacBook. He legitimately, like, walked out the bathroom like this.

[Julian]

He tells you to turn around.

[Rory]

No, he did not.

[Damaris]

Yo, it's a crazy world we live in, fam.

[Rory]

He was actually, like, a nice guy.

[Julian]

Was he cute? Like, respectively. Was he cute?

[Mall]

You let him be.

[Julian]

No, he was ugly. Oh, that's why.

[Rory]

No, he was A. He was a big dude. He was a big dude.

[Julian]

Was his dick out?

[Rory]

No. That guy.

[Mall]

Oh, he was close.

[Rory]

Respectful. Oh, my God. If his dick was out, I'd be scarred forever. Disrespectful.

[Damaris]

Same. He was coming out the bathroom. Butt ass with the iPad.

[Rory]

Yo.

[Damaris]

Crazy.

[Rory]

No, this is. This is the best way I could compare of how he was. Have you ever watched, like, when people do the Internet pranks or like, whatever, when they. With people and they get mad and they're like, yo, it's just a prank. It's just a joke. Like, look at the camera. He was like, no, no, it's cool, it's cool, it's cool. Like, we do this all the time. I just want you to my wife, like, as if that would have been like, oh, damn.

[Damaris]

Good. My bad, chief.

[Mall]

Keep sucking.

[Rory]

It was. It was the exact. That's the best way to describe it. Like, when all those kids would go to the hood and, like, prank those dudes, they pull out guns and be like, it's just a prank. Nah.

[Julian]

Yeah.

[Mall]

Well, at least his instinct was to disarm and not, like, alarm you or rattle you.

[Rory]

I was alarmed.

[Damaris]

Yeah. No.

[Julian]

If I was a woman, thing was.

[Rory]

I thought I was getting robbed. That was the first thing I thought.

[Mall]

Yeah.

[Rory]

And then also, I had nothing for them to rob. So this could go even worse.

[Julian]

If a. If a woman did that to me, like, in the reverse, I. I like women. I still would be freaked out. I would leave for sure. Because it's just like, ask. Just ask. Like, don't. You don't.

[Damaris]

Like if you and a girl was doing something.

[Julian]

If me and a guy were doing something and his wife came out like. Like, oh, my God. Yeah, I want you to my husband. I would still not be okay with that. You asked me. That's not. Because I didn't, like, I didn't agree to this. I didn't agree to this cucking situation. This is sexual assault. Literally. Like, this is sexual harassment. Sexual assault. Get the away from me.

[Damaris]

See, I'm different. That's how I know I'm just wired different. Because if I walk in a hotel room and the bathroom door is closed, I'm opening that. There's no way that would have been in there the whole time. And I didn't know. I'm opening the bathroom door.

[Julian]

Yeah.

[Rory]

100. I definitely made a mistake, but she was ill with, like, she went right away.

[Julian]

She started sucking dick immediately.

[Rory]

And that obviously makes sense now why I waited 10 minutes in the lobby. Like, they were getting set up and everything.

[Damaris]

It's only a 50.

[Mall]

Keep him down here on airplane mode. Hold on. Give me a second.

[Rory]

Yeah.

[Julian]

Did you ever see them again? You ever ran into them again? I don't know.

[Rory]

No, they. They were with everyone on Reddit tries to guess who the rapper is. They will never guess the rapper.

[Mall]

It was a rapper?

[Rory]

No, it was a rapper came to Def Jam to do like an A R meeting and brought his whole crew from Cleveland. Like, whole crew. So I had it. It was nobody that. That y'all would know.

[Mall]

Bow wow.

[Rory]

And then I took them out.

[Damaris]

It was Ray Cash.

[Rory]

Shout out to Ray Cash. I'm a pimp, pimp in my own own mind. So I took them out like the whole crew after the meeting, which I was told to do. And yeah, like one of the girls, they weren't even acting like a. A married couple too. Like, I. I recognize the dude.

[Mall]

You were out with homeboy all night?

[Rory]

Yes.

[Mall]

Oh, that makes it better because at least you. At least when he came out with the eye.

[Rory]

These Cleveland guys about to rob me. That's what I thought.

[Damaris]

Okay, yeah, that's crazy.

[Rory]

They saw me in the office. They probably assume I got something when I didn't. Like R. That was broke as.

[Damaris]

That's funny. That's husband walking out the bathroom with the iPad is.

[Rory]

But I'm saying they weren't acting like a. A even a couple friend. Nothing like. And she was giving me mad rhythm. And then she went back to the hotel, sent me the address, and my young horny ass went over there.

[Damaris]

Well, I'm glad you made it out of that alive and with your hole still intact.

[Mall]

You got that footage iPad guy send it through.

[Damaris]

No, I actually don't.

[Mall]

All right.

[Damaris]

Seeing Rory like getting ahead and being surprised by a man with an iPad is something I just never wish to see him.

[Julian]

I'm sorry. I would like to see it.

[Mall]

Wait, when you stood up, was you. Were you like. Were your pants at your ankles?

[Damaris]

Like, how are you look where he go look Good. Good.

[Mall]

No, it's not.

[Damaris]

This is.

[Mall]

Get genuine. Like when she was giving you head, were you. Were you like T shirt on, pants off? Were your pants at your ankles?

[Rory]

Like, how close were pants were around here? So when you stood was 100 up?

[Damaris]

No.

[Mall]

So when you stood up, it was like a waddle to get to the iPad and stop.

[Rory]

Pants were a little bagger at that time I was able to. To pull up cuz I was sitting at the edge of the bed and she was right here.

[Mall]

Okay.

[Rory]

And then the bathroom Was right where the TV is.

[Mall]

Edge of the bed head.

[Rory]

She was together.

[Damaris]

Oh, man.

[Mall]

She had that rug burn on her knees.

[Rory]

I mean, for the 30 seconds.

[Mall]

Her knees look like Damaris after the fall.

[Julian]

Yeah, my knees are.

[Rory]

I just feel like swing. Like swingers. Tell us your swingers. Yeah, yeah, don't do that.

[Damaris]

Swingers need to tell us they're swinging. And transsexuals need to tell us that they've transitioned.

[Rory]

When it comes to sex, let's just all be honest with each other and what our intentions are.

[Damaris]

Exactly.

[Mall]

That's.

[Rory]

Let's just keep it.

[Mall]

That's the point of this episode.

[Damaris]

Exactly.

[Julian]

And, boys, stop pretending you want relationships when you just want to.

[Mall]

Boys, look.

[Damaris]

I mean, no, I think that's. That's the state. We're not getting rid of that. Yeah, we gotta.

[Rory]

That's the circle of life.

[Damaris]

Yeah, that's. That's not America.

[Rory]

That's right.

[Mall]

But the American is baseball.

[Damaris]

Yeah, exactly.

[Mall]

Apple pie.

[Damaris]

The hot dog.

[Rory]

Yeah. Grown men shouldn't be doing that, but, you know, they do grow vision.

[Damaris]

Do what?

[Rory]

You should get out of that tactic of what, as an adult.

[Julian]

Boyism.

[Rory]

Yeah.

[Mall]

Look at the rap game.

[Rory]

The.

[Julian]

The. Does the rap game have to do with anything?

[Mall]

They're all. Boys name names, everyone. They talk about it to each other on every record, like the whole industry.

[Julian]

No, but I'm talking about a boy not just being a hoe. That's a hoe. As a hoe. Whatever. I'm being a boy. Pretending that you want to be in a relationship, but just saying that and leading a girl on so that you can continue to whenever you want. That's boyism.

[Damaris]

That's wild.

[Julian]

That's dishonest.

[Damaris]

All right, Rory. Well, enjoy your birthday, man.

[Rory]

Thank you.

[Damaris]

Check in with us, let us know. All right. Have fun, be safe, and we'll see you when you get back.

[Rory]

Thank you.

[Damaris]

Happy 34th. To my guy.

[Rory]

Be a year older.

[Damaris]

All right, we'll talk to y'all soon. We'll be back in a couple days to kick it with y'all. Y'all be safe. Y'all be blessed. Enjoy your weekend. I'm that nigga. He's just ginger. Peace.

[Rory]

No worrying now.