Episode 328 | Gun In A Corner

Summary

Episode 328 | Gun In A Corner — Detailed Summary

Released on December 13, 2024, "New Rory & MAL" hosted by Rory Farrell and Jamil "Mal" Clay delves into personal anecdotes, cultural critiques, and humorous takes on contemporary issues. This episode, titled "Gun In A Corner," navigates through health updates, relationship dynamics within the black community, the complexities of online personas, and reflections on popular culture.

---

1. Personal Health Updates

Rory's Recovery and Family Dynamics
Rory begins by sharing his recent battle with a stomach virus, detailing the challenges he faced, including projectile vomiting and prolonged illness. He reveals that his mother was initially unresponsive to his pleas for help, leading to a strained relationship during his recovery.

• "I ate solid food for the first time last night. Felt really good. I feel much better. I got some sleep last night. Life feels a little bit normal now." ([03:47])

Shared Illness Among Hosts
Julian adds that both he and Rory were affected, highlighting the contagious nature of the illness.

• "Since I had the stomach doing that. Since I had the stomach virus thing. I haven't taken a shit since Monday." ([04:02])

---

2. Cultural and Social Commentary

Barbershop Experiences and Cultural Identity
The conversation shifts to discuss the intricacies of barbershop experiences, especially within the Dominican community. The hosts express frustrations over perceived stereotypical haircuts and the challenges of finding a barber who understands their preferences.

• "Dominican barbers only want to make you look like they're friends. The only cut that you get, they..." ([12:17])

Impact of Names and Identity
A humorous yet insightful discussion ensues about the significance of names, their cultural origins, and how they influence perceptions.

• "Rory is one of those [Irish]... That's the Ezekiel of Ireland." ([16:22])

---

3. Relationship Dynamics and Conflicts

Remy Ma and Papoose's Turmoil
A significant portion of the episode delves into the tumultuous relationship between Remy Ma and her husband Papoose. The hosts dissect the public feud, accusations of infidelity involving a figure known as Easy Boys Block Captain, and the ensuing social media backlash.

• "Remy Ma has called out Clarissa Shields, basically saying, bitch, you was sleeping around with my husband..." ([38:39])

Concern Over Potential Violence
The hosts express apprehension about the possibility of physical confrontations stemming from the feud, especially considering Remy Ma's affiliation with Castle Hill, a notorious area.

• "We can't let Remy get in that ring with her, man. We can't do that. We don't want that to happen." ([46:14])

---

4. Online Personas and Modern Challenges

Lily Phillips' OnlyFans Endeavor
The discussion shifts to Lily Phillips, an OnlyFans model, who undertook an extreme challenge of engaging with 100 men in one day. The hosts critique the management of such an event, questioning the authenticity of the experience and the psychological impact on Lily.

• "She fucked 100 guys in one day." ([53:58])

Debate on Autonomy and Exploitation
A heated debate arises about whether Lily is exercising autonomy over her body or if she's being exploited as a product within the adult entertainment industry.

• "When that...she's selling her pussy." ([59:06])

---

5. Reflections on Celebrity and Vulnerability

Jamie Foxx's Emotional Netflix Special
Rory and the hosts review Jamie Foxx's latest Netflix special, highlighting its departure from traditional comedy into a heartfelt testimony about his recovery from a stroke. They commend Foxx for using humor as a coping mechanism while navigating his vulnerability.

• "It was a testimony to that, his journey through that, his journey back from that." ([81:07])

The Fragility of Success
The conversation reflects on how unforeseen health challenges can disrupt even the most successful lives, emphasizing the importance of resilience and support.

• "How much success you've attained...None of that matters if your health is not correct." ([92:14])

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6. Community and Identity in Sports

WNBA Recognition and Caitlin Clark's Role
The hosts applaud Caitlin Clark for being named Time's Athlete of the Year, discussing her impact on elevating the WNBA platform alongside other standout players like Angel Reese and Arike Winter.

• "Shout out to Caitlin Clark on winning Time's Athlete of the Year. She definitely helped elevate the WNBA platform this year along with other great players." ([98:19])

Critique of Racial Dynamics in Sports Recognition
They critique the media and public's focus on racial narratives within sports, questioning the depth and sincerity behind such accolades.

• "You used it as an excuse to be a racist." ([100:26])

---

7. Listener Engagement and Voicemails

Marriage and Personal Struggles
A listener named Black from Denver shares his struggle with marital issues, seeking advice on granting space while maintaining communication. The hosts offer thoughtful suggestions on managing personal relationships and setting boundaries.

• "Me and my wife, we did sit down and have a conversation, and we felt like it was best that every weekend I get a day, she gets a day..." ([111:37])

Navigating Biological Relationships
Another voicemail discusses the emotional turmoil surrounding discovering a potential biological father, grappling with acceptance and familial obligations.

• "I watched it twice because...it's a very emotional testimonial." ([116:27])

---

8. Upcoming Events and Predictions

Dreamville Fest's Final Run
Anticipation builds around the final Dreamville Fest, with the hosts making predictions about potential headliners like Kendrick Lamar, Nas, and the possibility of Jay-Z's involvement.

• "I think Jay Z gives a fuck about J. Cole and his journey." ([135:37])

Sports and Cultural Fusion
Discussions about intertwining sports figures like Bill Belichick with cultural events highlight the diverse interests of the hosts.

• "We're talking about sports and culture blending together." ([137:36])

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9. Closing Remarks

As the episode concludes, the hosts encourage listeners to attend their live show at the Gramercy Theater in New York City, hinting at surprises and interactions for both familiar and new faces.

• "All right, so what would you guys talk about?..." ([139:15])

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Notable Quotes:

• "Sometimes it has to go to family members. Sometimes you need to rejoice and celebrate when your family receives the karma that they fucking deserve." — Rory ([05:24])

• "I think the ghost of John took that disease out of me and then went right to my mom..." — Rory ([06:31])

• "No, nobody's saying that she didn't do some dumb. That's..." — Mall ([64:32])

• "I'm just happy to see Jamie Foxx back healthy, back on stage where he loves to be performing." — Damaris ([93:35])

---

Conclusion

Episode 328 of "New Rory & MAL" offers a blend of personal revelations, cultural critiques, and spirited discussions on contemporary issues. From health battles and relationship dramas to reflections on celebrity vulnerability and sports recognition, the hosts provide an engaging narrative that resonates with a diverse audience. Their candid conversations, laced with humor and heartfelt insights, make for a compelling listen that both entertains and provokes thoughtful reflection.

Transcript

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[Mall]

This episode is brought to you by Amazon Prime. There's nothing sweeter than baking cookies during the holidays.

[Rory]

With Prime, I get all my ingredients delivered right to my door, fast and free.

[Mall]

No last minute store trips needed. And of course I blast my favorite holiday playlist on Amazon Music. It's the ultimate soundtrack for creating unforgettable memories from streaming to shopping. It's on Prime. Visit Amazon.comprime to get more out of whatever you're into.

[Rory]

70,000 people are here and Bob Dylan is the reason for it. Inspired by the true story.

[Julian]

If anyone is going to hold your attention on stage, you have to kind of be a freak. Are you a freak? Hope so.

[Rory]

And starring Timothee Chalamet as Bob Dylan.

[Damaris]

He defied everyone.

[Rory]

Turn it down they lie to change everything. Make some noise BD Timothy Chalamet Edward Norton El Fanny Monica Barbaro A complete.

[Mall]

Unknown only in theater's Christmas Day pretty.

[Unknown]

DAR under 17.9 minute without parent no.

[Mall]

Worry enough to God say get her I'm a getter I have it with a pillow and the casket won't fit her the only reason that she kept talking greasy little jump skeezy but ask Somebody who I be. See, I'm R to the R. Summer got a long sleeve. Cause my arms is freezing I can't flop for no reason. See, I got money, but it's always easy.

[Julian]

Yeah.

[Mall]

See, hip hop needs me. The beats are sw. The girl is sick. And please believe that I'm a starter. See, every damn day I ball My jewels is blue and gray like Seaton ball.

[Rory]

Come on. Right hand up.

[Damaris]

Put your left hand up. Put your right hand up. Push your left hand up.

[Mall]

Push your right hand up.

[Damaris]

Push your left hand up. Put your right hand up.

[Mall]

Yeah, man, it's quiet.

[Rory]

We are back. Who's excited to diagnose the culture? Get right up in there.

[Damaris]

Are we diagnosing the culture today?

[Rory]

Is that what we're doing, culture today?

[Damaris]

So are we? Are we, doctor? Should I call you Dr. Pharaoh?

[Rory]

Yes, we are going to perform. Never mind. I won't go down that route.

[Damaris]

Yeah, please don't. It's too early. Too early, man.

[Rory]

How are you feeling?

[Damaris]

I'm good, man. Good. Good week. Finally got some sun. It was kind of like rainy and cold last few days.

[Rory]

Well, it's brick today, but. Yeah, I hear you.

[Damaris]

When it's sunny and cold. I'm cool with that. I can maneuver with that. I'll take sunny cold.

[Rory]

I ate solid food for the first time last night. Felt really good. I feel much better. I got some sleep last night. Life feels a little bit normal now.

[Damaris]

Got your Duck Dynasty couture. Yeah.

[Rory]

Which, you know, I thrifted this.

[Damaris]

Yeah.

[Julian]

When's the last time you took a shit?

[Damaris]

Today.

[Rory]

Yeah, like why you keep starting episodes?

[Julian]

No, because I had this thought last night. Today as well. Since I had the stomach doing that. Since I had the stomach virus thing. I haven't taken a shit since Monday.

[Damaris]

Well, because your bowels are completely.

[Julian]

That's what I'm saying. How long does it take to, like, build back? Because I like.

[Damaris]

Another two days.

[Julian]

What do you think?

[Damaris]

Geez, another two days.

[Julian]

It's been a long time. I had that thought last night in bed. I was wondering. So I just wanted to ask Rory. It would have been weird if I texted him that you scared. So I figured I'd do it on the pod.

[Damaris]

Okay, great.

[Rory]

I have a quick update from my mom for those that didn't listen to the last episode. My mother was not a the most motherly during my sickness.

[Damaris]

Did she hear your rant?

[Rory]

She did not.

[Damaris]

Oh, okay.

[Rory]

But Monday night, after things started adding up, we found out Julian had the same thing. Other people were hitting me that they were sick. Amara was projectile vomiting in the backseat. Started to think maybe I didn't have food poisoning. So I texted my mom at 8. 55. Don't think I had food poisoning. Amara's throwing up runny poops. Julian, who works at our pod, had the exact same symptoms as me over the weekend. She replies an hour later, oh, no. That poor little girl talking about me, probably.

[Damaris]

Yeah, naturally. But still nothing for you.

[Rory]

Still nothing of, hey, don't think I had food poisoning. But it seems like everyone else, no response except for that poor little girl. Tuesday, 208pm My karma is fucking beautiful.

[Damaris]

Yeah, absolutely.

[Rory]

And sometimes it has to go to family members. Sometimes you need to rejoice and celebrate when your family receives the karma that they fucking deserve.

[Julian]

She get hit by another bicyclist? Bicyclist, like, what happened?

[Rory]

I got your bug throwing up, diarrhea. My stomach hurts so much. I said, sorry, lol. She said, I feel horrible. I said, I tried to tell you. She said, yes. Now I know. Don't know how you even functioned. I can't even stand your karma.

[Damaris]

Look at your karma. Look at you. Mom sick.

[Julian]

Go make her hang some Christmas tree ornaments and show.

[Rory]

I waited two or three hours to give her my instacart password so she could get some food delivered. But I let her wallow for a little bit.

[Damaris]

You gotta let her sit. Yeah.

[Julian]

Yeah.

[Rory]

Bet you can't stand.

[Damaris]

Yeah. Bake shake. Got the shakes, huh, Ma?

[Rory]

Yeah, that made me feel validated.

[Damaris]

There you go. That's how you get back.

[Rory]

It's like, certain things, and when your therapist reveals shit about your childhood and you're like, I knew I wasn't wrong.

[Damaris]

Yeah.

[Rory]

That was like, one of those moments for me this week. I think that's what actually, like, kind of cured me of that stomach bug.

[Damaris]

Yeah.

[Rory]

It was all that guilt. Had to go to my mom.

[Damaris]

It was like when you got your cords cut. Remember that?

[Rory]

Yeah.

[Mall]

Oh, God.

[Damaris]

Same type of feeling.

[Rory]

Remember in a Green Mile, like when John Coffey can just, like, take shit out of people?

[Damaris]

Yeah.

[Rory]

I think the ghost of John took that disease out of me and then went right to my mom and said, now you know what it felt like when he was putting that tree up.

[Damaris]

There you go. Nice.

[Rory]

Poor little girl.

[Damaris]

All right.

[Rory]

What about the last five days? I was yakin in front of you.

[Damaris]

You're the poor little girl now, Mom. Look at you. Look how poor you are.

[Rory]

You want some help?

[Damaris]

Yeah. Yeah, Mom. Throw up and shit yourself.

[Rory]

Second update from the last episode regarding text messages Damaris has had my full album since Monday.

[Damaris]

I have not responded to get a.

[Rory]

Single, single text message from her.

[Damaris]

I knew it.

[Rory]

Just giving updates, that's all.

[Damaris]

That's crazy.

[Rory]

You get a day four, day five. I don't know.

[Mall]

He's not sending that to you.

[Rory]

I sent you the first thing when you didn't reply, so why would I send you that?

[Julian]

You're sending out.

[Rory]

You had your time.

[Mall]

So.

[Damaris]

You had your time. You had your time with the album and you didn't respond to it.

[Rory]

I never had.

[Damaris]

I literally changed the link on you.

[Mall]

I was thinking about that earlier today. I need to be somewhere where I can sit and listen to it. I haven't even listened.

[Julian]

Like, home?

[Damaris]

Yeah.

[Mall]

No, but I haven't been home. I have a very long commute to get back and forth to work, so by the time I get to work, I mean, get home from commutes. What.

[Rory]

What do people usually do, like, on commutes?

[Julian]

Choke people on the train.

[Mall]

I can't listen to that, though, because it's not downloaded on my phone. So when. When I'm on a train, like, I can't hear it. I. I can't listen to it. I have no wi fi on the train.

[Rory]

It's a SoundCloud link, Roy.

[Julian]

She can't listen to the music, man.

[Mall]

So I'm going to listen to it this weekend when I'm home. I literally was thinking that this morning. Like, damn. All right. This weekend, when I'm cleaning, I'm going put on Rory towel.

[Damaris]

I ain't going to lie, though. I saw a video of Damaris, like, okay, on her story, like, using the house, chilling, cooking.

[Mall]

Yeah, I could.

[Damaris]

No music in the back.

[Mall]

No, I don't listen to music. I told you that, though.

[Rory]

She should leak my album on her live.

[Mall]

Oh, I should do that. I'm not gonna do that.

[Damaris]

You're suggesting. That's not what I was suggesting at all.

[Rory]

But, yes. I was just giving updates from our last episode from my mother being disloyal and Damaris. It checks out. This is why I said, on Monday, I'm gonna send it. I promise you nothing's gonna come of it.

[Mall]

And you was complaining about your daughter. You hate women. I don't know.

[Julian]

Me, your mother, now it's his fault.

[Mall]

Me, your mother.

[Rory]

Amara. Like Amara.

[Mall]

For you, complain about everything.

[Damaris]

Amara was the only one he didn't complain about.

[Mall]

He said she projectile vomited on the whole seat. She was ready to get rid of her.

[Rory]

That's what kids do.

[Julian]

That's an observation.

[Damaris]

Yeah, that's a fact.

[Mall]

Saying, like, matter of fact, when I.

[Rory]

Turned around, I was like, jesus Christ.

[Damaris]

That came out of you.

[Rory]

I almost started laughing. I was like, what the fuck?

[Julian]

The exercise.

[Damaris]

What did you eat?

[Rory]

And you're still watching your iPad. You can't even see the iPad.

[Mall]

Does she feel better?

[Rory]

Yeah, she feels much better. So everyone's getting back, back to health. So I will not be passing any bugs off to people that are wrong with you.

[Damaris]

Now, y'all don't drink y'all ginger tea in the morning. That's the problem.

[Rory]

I had peppermint tea before you came out of that same glass.

[Damaris]

Good job.

[Rory]

Hope you cleaned it.

[Damaris]

Oh, no, I washed it. That's what Rory does. He goes. He drinks out of the same cup you drink out of. And he claims in the bathroom right after you. Bathroom. Yeah, he loves it.

[Rory]

Just monitoring, that's all.

[Damaris]

I get it.

[Rory]

Taking notes. Well, how's everyone's week been? Weather's been shitty, so I'm sure everyone probably just stayed inside.

[Mall]

Yeah, been here.

[Julian]

I got a haircut.

[Damaris]

Look what men celebrate.

[Julian]

They didn't go to the salon mall. I went to a.

[Damaris]

Went to a real barbershop.

[Julian]

Barbershop.

[Damaris]

All right, there you go, man. Stay away from the salon.

[Julian]

I wasn't trying to spend $150.

[Rory]

But was it a barbershop or like, the hipster barbershops that are basically salons? Like, did he have a big mustache and dress like it was the forties?

[Julian]

No, it was. I really don't want to say.

[Mall]

When that curls up.

[Julian]

Yeah, it was.

[Rory]

Sell shampoo on the side.

[Julian]

I'll say it was owned by people that don't, like my mom's side of the family.

[Rory]

Okay.

[Julian]

And then that came up when I was in the chair, and I was very nervous. Life out of the room. It was the most awkward go to.

[Damaris]

A barbershop like that.

[Julian]

I didn't know. Well, I mean, when I walked in, I could tell.

[Damaris]

How do you find. How do you find your barbershop?

[Julian]

I just. I don't barbers near me because, like, I don't have a good.

[Rory]

Barbers near me is crazy.

[Julian]

I don't have a good.

[Damaris]

Let me see your phone. If you got barbers near me in your phone, I'm gonna tell you to get out now.

[Julian]

But, like, when I lived in Bushwick or when I was in Brooklyn, I would go to the Dominicans over there, but they always fucked up my beard. They push it too low. They always do, like, the chin thing.

[Mall]

I'm like, that's Very Dominican. Very Dominican.

[Damaris]

But with that blade too. They'd be right up.

[Julian]

I would like. I would feel it down here. I'm like, keep it high. He's like, got you. And then just. I'm like, man, yeah, maybe I'll go to Yankee.

[Rory]

Never went back. Always push your hairline back this way. Or we'll take any facial hair you have and put it right on your jawline.

[Damaris]

Nothing is worse than going to a barber for the first. There's no other. The only time you'll feel more pressure than that is maybe like, if you're trying to cross the border into Canada and you not sure if that one charge was removed yet. Like, you know, walking up to the. To the. To the agent is kind of like, yeah, but when you try a new barber for the first time.

[Julian]

Well, if I could find some old photos on my phone of when I. Cause I would just take photos of fucked up haircuts. Just be like, this is.

[Damaris]

But do you pay for yours?

[Rory]

If.

[Julian]

I mean, I'm just. I. Yeah, because I. I won't. I just. Don't make it a stink. I'll just pay and leave and never come back.

[Damaris]

There's no way I'm paying for a barber that messed my hair. There's no way. I never understood that logic. I'm not paying for it.

[Julian]

Maybe I'll pay for the cup and I'll leave a tip because I've had people. I'm like, I don't like my edge up thing. Like, I'm like, you don't need to do my front line because my hair kind of does. This is. You don't need to touch this. Yeah, just go from, like here down and do the sides every day. Like, no, you gotta poppy you trust me. I'll do the thing and then they throw my whole shit back.

[Rory]

That's not how he said it.

[Julian]

I feel the blade on, like up here. And I'm like, okay, there goes my. I have a huge forehead. Like, I just.

[Rory]

Dominican barbers only want to make you look like they're friends. The only cut that you get, they.

[Damaris]

Cut your head based on what they think you should look like.

[Rory]

Exactly. Exactly.

[Julian]

Yeah, that's exactly.

[Damaris]

You look never right.

[Rory]

You look like a Hector.

[Damaris]

You look like a Hector. This is how Hector wears his hair.

[Rory]

What do you ask for in the barbershop? I only really know my own white ginger setup. Like, I don't even really know what people ask for in the barbershop.

[Damaris]

When you been going to your barber long enough. You ain't gotta say nothing. Sit down.

[Rory]

Of course.

[Damaris]

But he know, like, all right, it's time for you to trim this shit down some. It's time for you to.

[Julian]

Yeah.

[Damaris]

Like, at least my barber does he. I just sit down and be like, hey, like, what, you just want me to just trim it or what we doing?

[Julian]

Yeah, Well, I rarely asked that. When I went, I told him. Cause I cut my own hair. Like, just for maintenance sake. Like, I'll do my neck and I have all this shit. So I'll tell him. I'm like, do like a two on the side. And you can kind of fade it in the back if you want. And then like on top, I'm like, take a list. You can always cut more. So I'm like, take like a quarter of an inch off. If I want to do more. We can go from there. And that's kind of how it.

[Damaris]

But everybody don't know what a quarter of an inch looks like.

[Julian]

Well, everyone do is different. They do the finger thing because it's usually like one finger is the quarter and then, you know, two. You kind of go from Julian definitely.

[Damaris]

Hand combs his hair and pulls it up and like, stop right there.

[Julian]

Never done. Never done that.

[Rory]

I don't want to spread rumors, but someone told me mall did buy the cut your own hair kit from the back of the Source magazine. I don't know if that's entirely true.

[Damaris]

Who told you that?

[Rory]

Somebody told me that.

[Julian]

You.

[Damaris]

I've never.

[Rory]

Which shows you with the mirror and everything.

[Damaris]

Let me tell you one thing.

[Rory]

I did that last page in the Source. Someone told me nobody told you that before you purchased that, bro. And at that time you had to call a number to purchase it.

[Damaris]

Let me tell you one thing I never attempted to do in my life was cut my own hair.

[Julian]

When they get you, like the tri fold mirror, that was like a classic.

[Rory]

Source ad of cut your own hair. Like, they gave you a kit, bro. It was always in the back with all the other ads.

[Damaris]

It's actually a true skill for somebody to be able to cut their own hair and like do a good job.

[Julian]

I can do it. It's just crazy blend. Like, I can't go from like this to like a half to a one kind of thing. If it's all one length, I can do it. That's fine. That's not a problem. But when we get to like the. And I'm not good with scissors, so when it gets to a point, I'm like, I'll just go in and get it done. And talk about the Middle east while I get my haircut.

[Damaris]

Nice.

[Rory]

It's always a great.

[Julian]

It was awful. I hated it. It was so bad.

[Damaris]

Who talks about the Middle East?

[Julian]

I should have lied. He was like, where are you from? And I was like. So I said my dad first. I took like a half a breath and I was like, do I really want to do this right now? And I said, my mom's Lebanese. And he goes, huh? He goes. Lot going on over there. I was like, telling me fucking, like, menorahs. And he just talked about his rabbi for 20 minutes. I'm like, are we gonna do this right now, man? Like, just.

[Damaris]

You actually said that while somebody has a blade to you.

[Julian]

Yeah, because I had that thought in my mind. I want to ask you guys this. I'm like, I'm not ashamed of who I am, and I know I'm in the right when it comes to this, so I'm not going to be the one to lie. Plus, I'm paying this guy for the cut. He's doing a service to me, so it's like, I'm not going to.

[Rory]

Everyone owes a debt to Israel.

[Julian]

Yeah, exactly. I'm not going to pretend that I'm something I'm not. I'm curious to see how he reacts because up until then, we had a very great conversation.

[Mall]

It's not even, like, about even go respectfully. Why would you even spend your money in there?

[Julian]

Well, I had that thought too. And I like. Cause I didn't. My mom's been really trying to get me to come around to, like, not everyone design is you need to treat everybody, you know, da, da, da, da. And I'm like, that's true. But then, like, when I got there and we had a great conversation, and then as soon as that came up, the conversation clearly shifted and I was like, oh, I clearly know where he's at.

[Damaris]

So if your name wasn't your name, what do you think your name would be?

[Julian]

Oh, I don't know. I've gotten you got in New York. I look Dominican, so whatever Dominican name is.

[Damaris]

Okay, Yeah, I can see that.

[Rory]

I would go with Liam.

[Julian]

You could just keep my last name. Delgado works.

[Damaris]

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Mall]

You think you look like you look.

[Julian]

If I showed you old photos with my beard, like, to my chin.

[Mall]

Okay.

[Julian]

Yeah.

[Mall]

Like, you always.

[Damaris]

You give.

[Mall]

Like, you give Indian to me.

[Damaris]

I guess you look like you could be Manuel.

[Julian]

Thanks.

[Rory]

What do you guys think of what would I pass as?

[Julian]

Ryan, Connor, Toby, Rory? Looks like a Connor.

[Rory]

I.

[Mall]

Or Joshua.

[Rory]

Yeah. And not Josh. It would have to be Joshua.

[Mall]

Joshua. Yeah.

[Julian]

I wish Roy had one of those, like, white exotic names. Like, if he was like. Well, I guess it's like Ezekiel or something like that.

[Mall]

No, you look like Ezekiel.

[Rory]

Ezekiel is not strictly Ezekiel, Judea.

[Julian]

I just wish Rory had, like, one of those, like, you know.

[Rory]

Well, I have one of those names when it comes to Ireland for an Irish kid. Irish Catholic. Yes. Rory is one of those. That's the Ezekiel of Ireland. It's not Rory.

[Damaris]

He would be like a Daniel.

[Rory]

I feel like that's too easy.

[Damaris]

Yeah, Daniel. Daniel. Rory's a Daniel. Damaris looked like she could be Victoria. Tamika.

[Mall]

Tamika.

[Damaris]

Yeah.

[Rory]

You look kind of racist.

[Mall]

That was mad racist. And I don't look like racist.

[Rory]

Just because. Just because I know you're evil. You do give me Ashley vibes every now and then.

[Julian]

Who's Ashley?

[Damaris]

I could see Ashley.

[Rory]

Ashley's are always.

[Damaris]

I could see Ashley with the marriage. Yeah. I can see her being.

[Mall]

Ashley is actually my fake name when I meet men and I don't want them to know my real name. I don't. My name is Ashley.

[Rory]

Smoked it.

[Damaris]

Ashley.

[Julian]

A, S, H, L, E, I, G.

[Rory]

H. Definitely a weird spelling.

[Mall]

Only white women spell it. L, E, I, G, H. That's Ashley.

[Damaris]

She's not a Ashley. She's a Ashley. Ashley is different, like Demaris. Not tall enough to be Ashley. Ashley's a kind of tall.

[Mall]

Definitely played basketball in high school, but gave it up in. In college to be a bad. Yeah.

[Rory]

You ever met the Ashley that spell it regular, but they try to spell it, like, exotic. And then you find, like, you see their license, like. No, you spell it correctly.

[Julian]

Isn't there one words? Like, there's asterisks above this as H, L, E, E. That's another one too, right?

[Rory]

Oh, that's the evilest.

[Julian]

That's more. Black women have it. That's spelled like that.

[Mall]

Watch it.

[Damaris]

Yeah, I can see the marriage being an Ashley. I always.

[Mall]

I told my parents, I'm like, y'all should. I always feel like my name should have been Victoria, but my name fits me.

[Rory]

You also give evil Nikki vibes, too.

[Mall]

Nikki.

[Rory]

But Nikki spelled weird.

[Mall]

Nick. N I, K, K I. Yeah. Mm.

[Rory]

Yeah, you're definitely N I, K, K I. For sure.

[Damaris]

I know. I met a girl named Nikki. She spelled it like Nike, but with two E's. I was like, your name is Nike.

[Mall]

Like Nike. And heavy on the E. Accentuate the.

[Damaris]

Heavy on the E. Your name is Nike, not Nikki. I said, yo, what's wrong? With you, your name is Nike.

[Rory]

Has there ever been a person you didn't see yourself dealing with because their name was just. It just didn't fall off your tongue?

[Damaris]

Well, no, I'm not that shallow. I can't. I wouldn't see a beautiful girl that was cool and be like, yo, what's your name?

[Mall]

I'm not a named Earl.

[Damaris]

They don't even make earls.

[Mall]

They make earls in my mentions right now.

[Rory]

It's an Earl Earl from nfs. Attractive guy, successful. I would love Earl. Probably my age.

[Mall]

Yeah.

[Rory]

Like 35.

[Damaris]

When the last time you met a 24 year old earl? They don't make them no more. It ain't no more 20.

[Rory]

It's tough to find out.

[Damaris]

Yeah.

[Rory]

Matter of fact, when I met Earl, I was like, wow, I have not met an Earl in a long time.

[Damaris]

Barbara's. When the last time you met a barber that was gonna meet a barber. That's what I'm saying. Under 45. You ain't met no barber under 45. Earl say his name is Earl. I'm like, all right, Detective, I know you undercover.

[Rory]

Your name's Eno. I'm not calling you Earl. Earl. Is Earl short for something?

[Mall]

No, this is Earl.

[Damaris]

Earl Lee.

[Rory]

That's such a odd.

[Mall]

The. The girl started bringing like the old girl. So I feel like. I feel. I feel like names recycle as grandmothers start to die, if that makes sense.

[Damaris]

Yeah.

[Mall]

That's why grandmothers and grandfathers start to die. People start to recycle those names because I know so many people with the name. So many young, young kids with the name. Ella. Ella.

[Rory]

Ella never left, though. I feel like.

[Mall]

Nah. Ella left for a little bit. It's back now, though.

[Julian]

When's Gertrude coming back?

[Damaris]

Gertrude.

[Julian]

Yeah.

[Damaris]

Listen, I know we're making America great again.

[Rory]

I would call her Choo Choo.

[Damaris]

You would not.

[Rory]

Yeah, I would. Yeah. I would picture her now.

[Julian]

I could picture her now. This is how you look even. Even when you look up the name Gertrude. Look how dusty everybody is.

[Mall]

Oh, my God. Those are people's relatives.

[Damaris]

She was 36 right there.

[Julian]

There's not one fuck like, that scene is in color.

[Rory]

That was her high school prom.

[Damaris]

Yo, you know what? Fuck me up the other day. And this is how I know I'm getting old. I was watching Good Times, right? And I think I'm older. I'm older now than the dad was on Good Times when I. That shit came out.

[Rory]

Yeah, that stuff gets weird when you look like he was 60.

[Damaris]

I'm like, wait, he was 39, right?

[Rory]

I'm like, what?

[Damaris]

What? Yo, he always looked like he was 60 years old.

[Rory]

The guys from Full House were 35.

[Julian]

You're telling me he was 39 in this?

[Damaris]

He probably wasn't younger than 39 right there.

[Julian]

And I mean, I'm talking about the dad.

[Damaris]

He's not even in the picture.

[Julian]

Oh, who's this guy on the. Who's he?

[Damaris]

That's Bookman. Yeah, that was like the neighbor.

[Julian]

You mean to tell me they were just telling this man, as a 30 year old man, he's definitely 30 something.

[Rory]

In real life, he had like a drug problem, Right? Because he's probably like 24 there.

[Damaris]

That's what I'm saying.

[Rory]

Looks 40. Didn't have a drug problem though.

[Damaris]

I believe so. Yeah.

[Mall]

Look at Janet.

[Rory]

But even like in Different Strokes, how old was. Geez, why am I blanking on his real name? Todd Bridges.

[Damaris]

Younger than me.

[Rory]

Oh, well, but he. Todd Bridges is younger than Damaris in that show.

[Damaris]

Look older than all of our parents right now.

[Mall]

Todd Bridges looked young in. In Different Strokes.

[Damaris]

Yeah, he did.

[Mall]

He didn't look old. Not.

[Julian]

Well, no, no, he's 59 now.

[Rory]

Damn.

[Damaris]

So.

[Mall]

So that was like, what, 40 years ago? 30 years ago.

[Damaris]

40 something.

[Julian]

When Different Strokes started, he was 13.

[Rory]

Okay, then never mind. He. He looked like he was 24 or 13.

[Damaris]

That's what I'm saying. So I'm saying the dad. The dad from Good Times. I'm older than he was when he was filming that shit.

[Rory]

What? Then how old was Mr. Drummond? 110.

[Damaris]

No, he probably. He probably was like a year older than me.

[Rory]

A year older than Top Rock.

[Damaris]

Probably was like 45 years.

[Rory]

Arnold was the oldest on the cast.

[Mall]

I think it was because maybe I'm wrong, but to us, we associate like those makeup styles and hairstyles with older people.

[Julian]

Yeah, that's fair.

[Mall]

So I think that's why they look so old to us, to each other. They didn't look old.

[Julian]

Yeah, that was hip, man.

[Damaris]

Everybody looked old on them shows back then. You watch them shows now, you'd be like, what, 27 and now.

[Mall]

Now they were just talking about the girl from. From Euphoria. Alexa Demi. Shout out to her. She's so beautiful.

[Julian]

I love her.

[Damaris]

Who's this?

[Mall]

The Spanish girl from Euphoria.

[Julian]

The hot one.

[Mall]

The hot one. Maddie. Maddie just turned 34 this year.

[Julian]

35.

[Mall]

34.

[Damaris]

Maddie Perez.

[Rory]

What's her sign? Julian? I don't know that you knew her age right away.

[Julian]

Yeah, well, she's dating, you know.

[Damaris]

Who?

[Julian]

Her man is.

[Rory]

I don't.

[Julian]

Jameson the singer?

[Rory]

Is that like, official?

[Julian]

They've been together since like 2015. 16 to my knowledge. He's in a lot of her. She's in a lot of his music videos.

[Rory]

No, I've seen that. I didn't look in to see if they were.

[Damaris]

You didn't think she was really his muse?

[Mall]

I didn't, but she was 30, playing like a. She's 30. She was 30 at the time. Playing like a 15 year old.

[Julian]

Yeah. Look at them.

[Rory]

But I mean, most of the shows that are like high school students, they're almost 30.

[Julian]

This man bag, the baddest. Look at him.

[Rory]

I mean, his voice is beautiful.

[Julian]

It's insane.

[Rory]

Oh, yeah. I. Listen, Maddie, I get it. Gorgeous and can sing.

[Julian]

Yeah. But she does look incredible for.

[Mall]

I mean. Yeah, to be 34 years old.

[Julian]

Be casted also as like a 17 year old.

[Rory]

All right, well, old names. My grandmother's name was Eileen. Should I bring Eileen back for my second kid?

[Damaris]

Eileen is not. That's still around. We got about seven more years before they extend.

[Rory]

I've never met another Eileen that wasn't my grandmother's.

[Julian]

I only know from that song my sister's middle name.

[Mall]

Really?

[Damaris]

Eileen.

[Rory]

Is she Eileen's husband? My middle name Eugene. No, Eileen is what my middle name is. Her husband's name Eugene and Eileen Eugene. Those are my grandpa.

[Damaris]

Sounds like a song.

[Mall]

Eileen was my favorite aunt. Eugene is my dad's name. So look at.

[Damaris]

Your dad's name is Eugene.

[Mall]

It's his middle name. Yes.

[Julian]

Oh, tweezies.

[Damaris]

Don't say that again.

[Mall]

But they call him Gene. Did people ever call you Gene when you were younger?

[Damaris]

Nobody.

[Rory]

Yeah.

[Damaris]

Who has ever called you Gene?

[Mall]

Who?

[Damaris]

Yeah, like, call him.

[Rory]

Well, call them.

[Damaris]

Let's talk to them. Call them right now. I want to know who called Eugene.

[Rory]

Before people knew my middle name was Eugene. So, yeah, like, people within my friend circle or in my family would call me Gene, like to joke on me.

[Damaris]

Oh, okay.

[Rory]

Like my younger cousins, Eugene. Not even really knowing my grandfather's name was Eugene because we called him Grandpa.

[Julian]

I'm surprised nobody's used that as, like, a diss towards you, like, if they're having a feud. Well, that's not going to say my white boy Eugene. Talk about hip hop. Like, how has no one said that about Rory yet?

[Mall]

What do you.

[Rory]

Eugene is a very Jamaican name, I.

[Mall]

Want to say, if you want to.

[Rory]

Go down that route.

[Mall]

Yeah. Eugene is not a white man. That comes from all my Jamaican ancestors.

[Rory]

Eugene is one of the Most Jamaican names ever. Yeah.

[Julian]

Eugene. In Jamaica, you're Jamaican.

[Rory]

My mother's also. Kathy Ann, if you want to go more Jamaican.

[Damaris]

Oh, that's definitely Kathy Ann. That's definitely. That's Jamaican for sure. Kathy Ann is Jamaican.

[Mall]

Anything with Ann at the.

[Rory]

There's a huge tie between Irish and Jamaicans.

[Damaris]

It's a lot of comma family. They had slaves. They were like, Irish.

[Julian]

Why did that?

[Rory]

They did Irish. Never owned Jamaican slaves.

[Damaris]

No, no. Kamala's family is Irish. They own slaves in Jamaica.

[Julian]

Okay.

[Rory]

I have to fact check that.

[Damaris]

Yeah, check it out.

[Julian]

The two part name kind of went out of style. Like Kathy something and Lisa Ann. Oh, Lisa Tiffany. She's keeping it, huh?

[Damaris]

Yeah, that's a fact.

[Rory]

I always thought that was a little selfish. Like, just pick one fucking name. Taking two names. Yeah. I also never got along with people that had two first names. Like, as far as their first and last name. I've just noticed that throughout my journey in life.

[Damaris]

I know.

[Rory]

Never really get along with those.

[Damaris]

I knew somebody that had his first name and his last name was the same.

[Rory]

Like, if I never met Steven Tyler, I guarantee we wouldn't get.

[Damaris]

Yeah. Who I knew somebody had his first name. His last name was the same.

[Julian]

Yeah. You have a last name that's also a first name?

[Rory]

Oh, wow.

[Damaris]

No, but I met somebody whose first name was Therapy, not like, last name. Could be a first name. I met somebody whose first name and last name were exactly the same.

[Julian]

I went to high school with a kid.

[Rory]

Why would someone do that to their child?

[Damaris]

No, man. His name was Eduardo. Eduardo.

[Julian]

Oh, this has come up on the POD before, Eddie.

[Damaris]

I'm like, yo, what? Eduardo. Eduardo what? Why would they do that to you? And you're old enough to change that. Like, that was the thing that me, I'm like, yo, you like a grown man still walking around with that. Yeah, I would have been changed that. Not Eduardo. Eduardo forever. You kidding me?

[Rory]

I mean, I'd probably keep. That'd be cool. No, it's not lying. Then you just pull out your ID like, bam.

[Damaris]

How many times you gonna get Eduardo squared? Eduardo. Eduardo.

[Julian]

E2.

[Damaris]

They gonna call him Deuce.

[Rory]

Yeah.

[Julian]

E2's E2's a hard nickname for Eduardo. Eduardo.

[Damaris]

But you gotta play a sport, though.

[Julian]

And it spans like E2. Come on.

[Mall]

You gotta play a sport.

[Damaris]

Yeah, you gotta. You gotta be nice in some stuff.

[Rory]

You have to earn that nickname.

[Damaris]

E2. It's like, come on, bro. That's marvy doing that. And like, Nike would eat that up. Like, yo, we Gotta get the new E2s, like, on production now immediately.

[Rory]

Speaking of showing your ID, I want to thank whatever that podcast listener that gave Maul and I those cop family member cards.

[Damaris]

Oh, yeah.

[Rory]

Saved my fucking life on Tuesday.

[Damaris]

Really? This is, like, the second time you used this thing.

[Rory]

So I'm going in.

[Damaris]

I didn't think it was reprinting, because when he gave it to us at the show, the guy right behind him came up and was like. He didn't even say his name. He was like, yo, don't use them shits. I was like, word. He was like, that ain't gonna work. I'm like, word.

[Rory]

He was like, no, there's the paper ones and then there's the ones, the thick ones that if you threw it on the ground, it would make some noise. Those are the real, real ones, not the ones that expire.

[Damaris]

Oh, yeah. The ones you can throw on the ground and make noises for the black when the black people get pulled over. Cause we gotta. Immediately.

[Rory]

So that's the ones that he gave us. It's not the paper one that if you don't pay your dues, it expires by 2025.

[Damaris]

Okay.

[Rory]

That's a lifetime family member joint.

[Damaris]

So how did it save you?

[Rory]

I was going into the tunnel on my way.

[Damaris]

Oh, I thought you wanted the nightclub. All right, my bad. Go ahead.

[Rory]

No, this. This was not in the 90s. This was Tuesday.

[Damaris]

Okay.

[Rory]

I'm on my way to the city, and I get pulled over right before the tunnel by the port authority cops. And I'm thinking, like, it's traffic. So I'm like, did I not put a blinker on? That's. That's weird. Like, I'm not sure why I'm getting pulled over, but whatever, you know. You're white.

[Damaris]

Yeah, Privilege.

[Rory]

Maybe he knows me.

[Damaris]

Yeah, yeah. Yes, I got things.

[Rory]

Maybe he knows my dad.

[Damaris]

Why people get pulled over. That's like, oh, he must know me.

[Rory]

Yeah, Maybe he wants to tell me so you could see something wrong with my car. Wants to make sure.

[Damaris]

Yeah.

[Rory]

So cop comes up. He says, hey, your registration is expired. And I was like, respectfully, like, it's not. And I grabbed my registration. I did not have my license because I lost my wallet while I was throwing up constantly somehow.

[Damaris]

Yeah.

[Rory]

So I was like, here's my passport. Here is my registration. Here's my insurance. Sorry on my license, but whatever you need. Help out. Registration expires actually in two days. And I knew that because I have it scheduled to get renewed. So when the cop came and Said, gotcha. I said, no, no, no. This is still valid. Then he comes back and says, you owe easy pass $2,000. I said, what?

[Damaris]

How?

[Rory]

Ask Loyon. He's over there.

[Damaris]

Yeah, but who? Don't you have your Easy Pass on your car?

[Rory]

Yes, and it's on autopay, from my understanding.

[Damaris]

Okay. Okay. Yeah.

[Rory]

So then I'm like, did the battery die? Like, but I was just using it in Jersey. And it said, go ahead. Usually it tells you if it's not getting low.

[Damaris]

Yeah.

[Rory]

So he's like, you owe easy pass $2,000. I was like, oh, shit. I don't even know that. Like, can I go on an app and pay it? Like, yeah, whatever you need, but I.

[Damaris]

Can'T take your car for that.

[Rory]

Exactly. So then two more cars pull up, and I'm like, all right. It's becoming one of those things.

[Damaris]

Oh, yeah.

[Rory]

So he goes back to the car, then comes back to my window, and he's like, what's your address? Because again, I have my license on me. So I say my address. And before I could even finish my address, he said, your license is suspended. I said, what? He said, your license is suspended. I said, for what? He said, I don't know. It doesn't tell me. But your license is suspended. Step out of the car. I was like, great. Just when I was on my way to make Roc Nation crumble. Yeah, I'm gonna miss this meeting. Get out. And I was like, light bulb. I have the Pod Fans card. Said, hold on, sir, can I just grab something real quick out of my car?

[Damaris]

Y'all would have been wearing me on a T shirt today.

[Rory]

Yeah, if you guys think you're gonna get an argument. We have different experiences with the police. I'm not gonna argue with you whatsoever. Yes, I'm aware that I have the privilege that I can go, hey, Officer, when you're not looking and your back is turned, do you mind if I go reaching my glove box? Yeah, I'm aware that that is a privilege that I own.

[Damaris]

Right.

[Rory]

So I give him that. And I could see he was kind of tight because he. I think he was kind of excited about, you know, his. Right before holiday collar. I could see it in his face, like, all right, Code Blue or whatever. Blue code of honor. Whatever the fuck they do.

[Julian]

White guy, I'm assuming.

[Rory]

Yeah. And he's like, who's the family member? And I was like, my stepbrother. Because this has a different last name. Yeah, like, stepbrother. And he's like, all right, See that Burger King, right there.

[Julian]

Oh, my God, that worked.

[Rory]

Pull right over there. I'm not even looking. Pull right over there. Park and call a tow truck. I'm not going to sit here and wait. I'm not going to watch to see if you do it. Even if you pull in that tunnel, I don't give a fuck. But if I catch you driving, I'm going to arrest you immediately. So I pulled that shit right into that Burger King parking lot and called a fucking Uber. But now later find out my license is suspended because I didn't take an eye exam.

[Julian]

Oh, really? They do that now?

[Mall]

I'm sure you got mail about it. Probably went to your mom's house. But I'm sure you got.

[Rory]

I was like, what the fuck? That's what it was.

[Damaris]

Sounds like a Democrat move.

[Rory]

Democrats don't want you to see things.

[Damaris]

Oh, that's true. Yeah, you're right about that.

[Rory]

But yeah, long story, Long thank you to that POD fan. Because you did save me from having to get my car towed by the police. And a possible, you know, long.

[Damaris]

See, now I gotta. I gotta do some to use mine to see if it works for me.

[Julian]

You need to. Yes. You need to take a passive vision test to renew your driver's license in New York State. You can do electronically or mail it, but. Yeah.

[Rory]

So Loyon scheduled me at like, LensCrafters tomorrow.

[Damaris]

You gotta go to LensCrafters. Oh, my God.

[Rory]

Some shit he scheduled me in, you know, Clarence after.

[Julian]

And get your ears pierced.

[Damaris]

Like you gonna get a tattoo on the way out.

[Rory]

Just going like this and lens craf. That looks like an eye.

[Mall]

Stop shaming LensCrafters.

[Damaris]

I'm just saying, having to go to LensCrafters cause your license is suspended is fucking crazy. Like, I gotta go. Where? Oh, my God.

[Rory]

I've had my license since I was 17. I don't remember ever doing an eye exam. I did one in school. Is that why?

[Mall]

I don't know.

[Rory]

In high school, we were required to do those. Like once.

[Mall]

You should have had everyone when you applied for your license.

[Rory]

I don't know.

[Mall]

You should have had to do it.

[Damaris]

Okay, but we should do an eye test right now. See if you fail.

[Rory]

Let's pull it up.

[Damaris]

Rory always.

[Rory]

Like, I could just do the letters.

[Damaris]

Exam chart.

[Julian]

Yeah, I'm gonna pull it up.

[Rory]

All right, cool.

[Julian]

Well, let me fail.

[Rory]

Come on, give me a challenge. Which line you want me to do?

[Mall]

Zoom out.

[Rory]

Oh.

[Julian]

What the.

[Rory]

I thought that was regulation.

[Julian]

Well, I. I'm zoomed in a little bit. This is.

[Mall]

How is this regulation? In any way.

[Rory]

All right, I can do line seven, cover one eye.

[Julian]

Wait, sorry, sorry.

[Damaris]

I like it.

[Julian]

Go ahead, Rory.

[Rory]

F, E, L, O, P, Z, D. Okay, that.

[Julian]

The line roy read is 2025 vision line seven. Let's go to 2020. Go to the. Go to the one below it. 2020 vision.

[Rory]

Oh, good luck with that.

[Julian]

No, like the one right below the one you just did. Not the tiny, tiny ones. Do the number row eight. Oh, cover it. You can't look at both.

[Rory]

D, E, J, F, G, T, C.

[Julian]

You got like two mistakes.

[Mall]

Or two. Or three.

[Rory]

So am I allowed to fucking drive through the Holland Tunnel?

[Julian]

Not anymore.

[Damaris]

I mean, yeah, about 2025. So. Yeah.

[Rory]

And that's also. I have these lights. Let's. Yeah, bear that in mind. It's tough to see this.

[Julian]

Ah, word. Yeah, I'm pretty much.

[Rory]

I'm 2020 is what we could all agree. All of us can agree, right?

[Julian]

The test says you have to be at row five. 2040.

[Rory]

So that's all it takes to drive. No wonder my grandfather got his license at fucking 97 years old. Yeah, I think that's all it takes to drive. Is that line.

[Mall]

Yeah, I'm like 2070.

[Julian]

That's pretty crazy.

[Mall]

2050. I have really bad eyesight.

[Damaris]

Yeah, I'm 2070.

[Mall]

I have really bad eyesight. Like, I'm like 2070. 2050. I have terrible eyesight.

[Julian]

2070.

[Damaris]

Let me see if I feel like you ain't no damn 2070.

[Julian]

You have the big ass.

[Damaris]

You ain't changed the font on your phone. You ain't 27.

[Mall]

I have contact lenses in.

[Damaris]

Oh, you do?

[Mall]

Yeah.

[Damaris]

I didn't know you wear contact.

[Mall]

I wear glasses sometimes. I wear.

[Damaris]

I know you wear glasses. I know you wore contacts.

[Mall]

If I take these contact lenses out, I won't be able to get out this door. Like, I am blind.

[Damaris]

Blind.

[Rory]

This is how I know the government does not care about us whatsoever. Passing line 5. To be able to drive a car instead of having to yearly take like a reaction test or an awareness test is fucking insane.

[Damaris]

Yeah.

[Rory]

And it would annoy me too, to like every year after a new reaction time. But dog, that's what I'm. My license being suspended for because I can't read that big ass letter to drive a car.

[Mall]

Well, car.

[Rory]

How quick I can hit the brake, it's like, please just test my awareness, let alone what fucking small letters I could read.

[Damaris]

Speaking of testing awareness, Papoose and Remy Ma have been on the timeline.

[Rory]

Papoose. Pap.

[Damaris]

No, I don't know If Remy listen. Remy love. Remember bs of course we love Pap, too. Love Pap. But I don't know if Remy want to talk too spicy to Clarissa Shields. I don't want to see. I definitely don't want to see no more Netflix specials. We had Jake Tyson. We don't need Ma and Shields.

[Mall]

We don't need that Ma and Shield.

[Damaris]

We don't want to see Ma and Shields. Like, oh, we not watching that.

[Rory]

Didn't they say come February? Well, Damaris, give the backstory of what's been going on because this is unfolding as we're recording.

[Mall]

Ok, so the backstory is. We've talked on our podcast before when it was alleged that Remy was messing with Easy. Little Easy, the Black Captain.

[Damaris]

Call him Lil the Black Captain.

[Mall]

The Block Captain.

[Rory]

Easy the Block Captain.

[Mall]

His name's Easy to. I thought it was Lil. It's not Lil Easy, Lil Eazy, E. Okay.

[Julian]

I think you combined two.

[Mall]

All right, cool. Easy to Block Captain, who is a bearded battle rapper.

[Damaris]

See, this is why we can't let the mar. Do I actually like the descriptions on the DSPs? No, more like, look what she took. He's a bearded battle rapper.

[Rory]

As opposed to who move what anyway? As opposed to every battle rapper, period.

[Mall]

No, he's a bearded battle rapper. He wears a cap and glasses.

[Damaris]

Every nigga in battle rap has a beard and wears a hat.

[Rory]

So King of the dots when I.

[Mall]

Was describing him, they knew who I was talking about because his beard take up his whole entire. Only lips poke out his beard.

[Julian]

Oh, that's drawn on or something.

[Mall]

I'm not shitting on him either. Like, shout out to him. So we love him. So he was accused of messing with women. We love him and the. Are you guys gonna let me get through?

[Rory]

Yes.

[Mall]

What the fuck?

[Rory]

No, you're so. Explanation is hilarious. That's why we keep stopping.

[Mall]

It was alleged that Papoose knocked him out and there was like this whole big story going on. He was sleeping with Papoose's wife. Papoose knocked him out. Whatever. That was a whole thing. I remember somebody said it in a battle rap. Remy was standing right there. Didn't convince, didn't say anything.

[Rory]

Easy verse, Was it Goods? Was it that did that whole breakdown. Sorry to all the real battle rap fans that are screaming at their speakers right now. We are novice fans, but yes, there was a battle where third round. This gentleman ate up Eazy and Remy in front of their faces about their relationship. Going back to love and hip hop when it was black love. When it was Pap and Remy and yeah, it was one of those rounds.

[Unknown]

Damn.

[Damaris]

Remember Black Love when they was on? They. Black Love.

[Mall]

Pap had the Merchant on the Golden Child and shit.

[Damaris]

You had a hat that said black love on.

[Rory]

I did? Yeah.

[Mall]

So where is it? So now what's going on is Remy Ma has called out Clarissa Shields, basically saying, bitch, you was sleeping around with my husband and you was trying to hide it. You was on the phone with him, heard my voice, hung up with your scary ass. You so tough, your pub, your publicity team is putting out fake stories about me, yada yada. Clarissa Shields is basically like, remy, hold.

[Damaris]

On, hold on, baby D. Because you said some words that ain't in there.

[Mall]

What the fuck are you talking?

[Julian]

Is it Clarissa or Clarissa?

[Damaris]

You said this bitch Remy A used that word.

[Mall]

She put it in the caption.

[Damaris]

Oh, in the caption. Okay.

[Rory]

And I mean, I feel like Remy's probably used that word before.

[Mall]

Yeah.

[Damaris]

Oh, no, Remy's used that word before. I just don't know if she's ever spoken to the champion of the world.

[Mall]

She says she. She says she hung up when she heard it was her on the phone. Whatever. Okay, I respect that she's saying girl like that ship like she's just basically, yeah, dumbass fell asleep on the phone with Clarissa Shields laying in my house. He refused to leave. This bitch supposed to be a world champion boxer and her scary ass hung up soon as she heard my voice. Now I'm telling everything. Oh, and baby girl, you're not the only one. So, babe, first of all, don't tell on your baby father that he got to his girlfriend, that he got more than one chick that's hating.

[Damaris]

Damn, Rem. That's what she did.

[Mall]

Blocking rim. Don't do that.

[Rory]

There's a little bit of hate.

[Mall]

So then Pap is saying sucks to. Oh, sad to say that Remy Ma is a narcissist. Sorry I couldn't see from that angle. She chose to cheat repeatedly. Now that I finally moved on, she's playing a victim. I've requested a divorce numerous times. She rather clout chase on social media than handle this like civilized adults. I did not want to do the social media foolishness for the sake of my six year old baby. She has to go back to school. As you can see, I remain quiet throughout this all. So Pap is basically saying like he wants to get the fuck away from Remy. She's been cheating with Easy Boy the block captain.

[Damaris]

You changed his name every time you said it.

[Rory]

Easy Boy the block he's easy.

[Damaris]

Boy, they block Captain that shit long.

[Rory]

Why would you.

[Damaris]

First he was the black guy, just.

[Rory]

Been Easy Chef Boyar Block. Like, what is his name?

[Mall]

Chef Boyar Block. It's funny.

[Julian]

Easy the train conductor Clarissa is saying.

[Mall]

You have two boyfriends. Like, it's just them going back and forth. Pap said he wanted divorce. Pap said Remy won't give him a divorce unless he lie and say that he didn't knock out Eazy. E, the block captain Easy, is saying, pap, you scary. You lying. You didn't knock me out. You snuck me. Pap is posting pictures of Easy and.

[Damaris]

All right, what does snuck me mean? Because if I sneak you, and I still knock you out. I knocked you out.

[Rory]

See, that's my thing you can have an issue with and be like, yo, you snuck me.

[Damaris]

Yo, you snuck me.

[Rory]

And there's nothing wrong. People get snuck every day. I've been snuck. But you still got knocked out.

[Damaris]

Yeah, you still got put to sleep.

[Rory]

But if you sneak someone, I don't think you could really brag, like, yo, I really knocked him out. Yeah.

[Damaris]

No, you can't snuck him.

[Rory]

But he still fell.

[Damaris]

Yeah, he still went to sleep.

[Rory]

So Pap was saying that he didn't knock him out because he was sleeping with Remy. He knocked him out because he shook his hand and then slept with Remy. Which I can respect. And Papoose, I don't.

[Julian]

Wait, what?

[Damaris]

Oh, like, he met him, said, what's up to him?

[Rory]

And then, first of all, which we go by that rule often on this podcast, if somebody fuck your girl, you can't be mad at them like, your girl got fucked. You can't be mad at him at all. But if that's somebody that knows you and speaks with you, shakes your hand, and then fucks your girl, now I have an issue with you. You could never have an issue with the dude for fucking your girl. Yep. Issue should be with your girl.

[Damaris]

So is it? Is it is so. So Pap is saying Remy cheated with.

[Mall]

Yes.

[Rory]

Yes.

[Julian]

Yeah.

[Rory]

And his only issue with. With Eazy is they were associates to some degree. Like, don't shake my hand and then go fuck my wife.

[Damaris]

Yeah.

[Rory]

Which I think is very fair. And Pap, you could say a lot about Papoose. I don't know him, but he's never come across, like, as a liar to me. I think that's why a lot of people have. Have weird perceptions of Pap because he always kind of tells the truth, even if it's him in a bad light.

[Damaris]

Yeah.

[Rory]

Like Pap, to me, is not a liar. So I took his caption. That kind of checks out to me for what we've known the past year and a half.

[Damaris]

Damn. So. So the whole black love movement is over there because they was holding it. Rem and Pat was the ones holding the black.

[Mall]

I mean, they weren't my shining example of black love, but how you held it.

[Damaris]

And she went to jail for some years. He held it down.

[Mall]

I don't think that, you know, I don't like to equate black love with, like, struggle.

[Rory]

A lot of black violence go to jail.

[Damaris]

No, no, they don't. But I'm just saying, like, they was. You know, he was the. He was showing, like, nah, I'm gonna hold my queen down. Like, we've never. I don't. We've never seen that. It's always the other way around. It's always the guy goes to jail and the girl holds him down. I. E. Mariah. Mariah the scientist with thug. We've never seen it. Too.

[Julian]

Weird how they're doing, huh? I just wonder how they're doing. We haven't heard from them in a while.

[Mall]

They're great.

[Rory]

They're probably in the. Probably the best they've ever been.

[Julian]

Like, where is he?

[Damaris]

Oh, you.

[Rory]

Mariah.

[Damaris]

I could guess. I could take one guessing.

[Julian]

Like, the Poconos chilling. Because he can't go to Atlanta unless, like, someone.

[Mall]

He can't go to metro Atlanta.

[Rory]

Yeah, well, he just. And we'll get back to that thing. But he did just file something to go to Atlanta, I think four times a year or something like that, to be able to get his affairs in order and see family. He did file something.

[Julian]

Starting in 2027, he's allowed to visit home if he does this, and then we're not gonna read all that. Okay, that's it. That was a good enough update.

[Rory]

But, I mean, if it was black love at the time, was it not real?

[Damaris]

No, I'm not saying it wasn't real. I'm just saying, like, I don't think.

[Rory]

It dies with them.

[Damaris]

No, I'm not saying it dies with them, but they were the.

[Rory]

You know, they were the outside looking in.

[Damaris]

It was Barack and Michelle, then it was Pap and Remy.

[Rory]

I agree with that fully. I do agree with that fully.

[Damaris]

Y'all remember that era?

[Rory]

Come on.

[Damaris]

We're not gonna. You know, I mean, it was.

[Julian]

It.

[Damaris]

Was it Barack, Michelle, it was rap. Remy and Pap. Yeah.

[Rory]

Then it went to Ben and jlo.

[Damaris]

I don't know if it went to them. Like, I don't know if that's. I don't know if that's Black Love, but. Okay. Yeah, well, I guess if he's dressed up as Batman as Black Love. Yeah.

[Rory]

And JLO uses the N word, so.

[Damaris]

Imagine if Ben was like in the house when JLO came home and he was still in character, but as Batman. It had the full suit on.

[Mall]

Ah, fuck. That's probably sexy.

[Rory]

If I'm playing Batman, there's no way I'm not. You gotta clap with the whole makeup and everything.

[Damaris]

Do y'all know how heavy that suit is?

[Julian]

You must try it once part of it. Yeah.

[Mall]

He could lay there, just flap the cape out.

[Damaris]

Flap the cape, the cape out. You heard? She said flap the cape.

[Julian]

Didn't you have a Batman suit on?

[Mall]

Just relax. Why bringing up old bro?

[Rory]

Oh, you was Superman or whatever.

[Damaris]

You was Batman. You was naked Batman.

[Mall]

Pap. Go get your queen back, man. Knock that nigga out again, it's over.

[Rory]

Nah, just be happy with your new girl.

[Damaris]

Yeah, you got a new girl? He does.

[Julian]

Who's his new girl?

[Damaris]

Clarissa Shields.

[Julian]

Oh, yeah, that's right.

[Damaris]

Yeah.

[Julian]

Also, I don't think. Yeah. Remy, stay away. That girl, she could knock you out clean.

[Mall]

So Clarissa Shields is a world champion boxer.

[Julian]

She's a two time Olympic medalist.

[Damaris]

Yeah, she's the one.

[Rory]

Remy has been on record by the state of New York by not being able to miss.

[Julian]

I mean, if you're a shooter.

[Damaris]

Yeah, she from the Bronx.

[Rory]

And that was her friend.

[Mall]

Kill her. That wasn't someone over in band. And like if I kill my friend over a band, I definitely kill my baby father. Or shoot my friend over a band. I definitely shoot a over my baby father.

[Julian]

She saw someone over a band?

[Rory]

Yeah, it was the principal. Allegedly. We don't even know.

[Mall]

Yeah, allegedly.

[Damaris]

She did.

[Julian]

She already did the time. Yeah, it seems like they know plenty.

[Rory]

Of people doing time for something they didn't do. She was framed.

[Damaris]

They did too.

[Rory]

Free, Remy.

[Damaris]

Well, she's free now, so yes, either way. Well, she's not free from the turmoils of her relationship.

[Mall]

Clarissa says she wanna fight her. Clarissa said let's set it up.

[Julian]

That wouldn't be true. She did at all.

[Mall]

Yeah, she said.

[Rory]

I think she put a date February 10 or something next week.

[Damaris]

See, now stop.

[Julian]

See.

[Damaris]

Cause this goes back to what I just told y'all earlier. All of this is a publicity stunt.

[Mall]

Well, if I was a professional fighter, I would be out here saying, bitch fight. Me too.

[Julian]

I agree.

[Damaris]

Yeah, but not to somebody that ain't A fighter.

[Julian]

Remy's said, bitch playing all this tough card thing, fine, let's fight.

[Damaris]

Yeah, but you gotta laugh at that when you're a world champion fighter. She is.

[Julian]

She's like, let's do it.

[Rory]

Yes, that's the way. But if you go on the Internet and say I hung up the phone when you heard her voice because I was scared or whatever, okay, let's fight then. You introduced this I'm being scared thing. I didn't bring this to the table.

[Damaris]

We can't. All right. We can't let that happen.

[Julian]

She's a boxer from Flint, Michigan.

[Damaris]

You can't let Remy.

[Rory]

Anybody from the Bronx, dehydrated and angry.

[Damaris]

We can't let Remy get in that ring.

[Julian]

She hasn't had good water in the ring ever.

[Damaris]

We can't. We can't let Remy get in the ring with her, man. We can't do that. We don't want that to happen.

[Rory]

Of course. And I don't want Remy to shoot her. I don't want anything else. I think. I hope this is a rollout by Mona Scott.

[Damaris]

And if I see y'all on loving hip hop next season, I gotta tune.

[Rory]

In and applaud the rollout.

[Damaris]

I'm not tuning in. I'm not watching that shit.

[Rory]

What if they did, like a Brady Bunch type thing where they all lived in the same house?

[Mall]

What they need to do is put Clarissa ass house.

[Damaris]

Nah, put Clarissa on. Bad girls and baddies just beat up. Let Clarissa walk through that front door and watch how them bitches start running like a pit bull just walked in. Nobody wanna flight Clarissa.

[Rory]

Not even United Healthcare would cover that in the turmoil they're in to get some money back.

[Damaris]

Nobody wanna fight. You put Clarissa Shields in that baddie's house. Everybody going to their room, go to sleep. Clarissa's downstairs. Nobody go to the kitchen. Cause she fucking everybody.

[Mall]

Do we have any footage of her fighting Clarissa?

[Damaris]

Which one you want? This is on YouTube. Putting bitches to sleep. Straight up.

[Rory]

All right. We all have egos and a bit of bravado, especially when it comes to things we're passionate about. What happens when you find out your ex partner's new partner is lethal in the ring?

[Damaris]

You stay away from the ring.

[Mall]

Do I want him back?

[Rory]

Let's just say there's some back and forth. You share children, so no matter what, this new person's gonna be in your life, your child's life, and you don't really approve. Does your tone change a bit? Cause I'll be the first person here to admit that mine would. I know everyone else here is gonna lie.

[Damaris]

No, I'm. Mine would change a bit if my baby mom's new boyfriend is a world champion UFC fighter. Like, say she's dating Jon Jones.

[Rory]

She has a type. Like.

[Damaris]

Are you kidding me?

[Rory]

That was a. Because they're not.

[Mall]

I get it. I get it. I get it.

[Rory]

I was trying to compliment him.

[Mall]

Yeah.

[Julian]

Oh, my God. Sorry. We're watching. She's murdering this girl.

[Rory]

There's some.

[Julian]

This is not. Oh, my God.

[Rory]

She punched from the hip for sure.

[Mall]

She punched from the.

[Julian]

What if you put. Okay, hypothetically speaking, put them in. Put them both in a ring. Remy and Clarissa.

[Rory]

I don't think we should.

[Julian]

Remy gets a gun with one bullet.

[Mall]

Yeah.

[Julian]

What the fuck do we take? I'm just saying. But like she. Ok. The gun is in another corner. Clarissa can never touch the gun. She can't use the gun. She can just use her hand.

[Rory]

Remy has to get to.

[Julian]

Remy has to get to the gun.

[Mall]

This saw a game. This saw ass game.

[Rory]

Just boxing.

[Julian]

Fight or fight. If Remy can fight, just fight.

[Rory]

If it's. If it's like UFC style fighting, I'm. I'm not taking Remy. But boxing Remy might be able to find a way to that gun ufc. She's going to tackle Remy.

[Julian]

I see what you're saying. Because closer wouldn't be able to use her legs.

[Rory]

Yeah, it'd be tough. I would go with a gun. And this is horrible to even make the scenario. I don't want anyone to harm each.

[Damaris]

Other, but no Netflix should make it a thing.

[Rory]

Put the gun in the corner.

[Damaris]

Yeah.

[Julian]

Dana White's new avenger. Gun in the corner.

[Rory]

And yeah, not even anything creative. Just gun in the corner.

[Julian]

Coin flipper. Who can go after it?

[Mall]

Rory, to answer your question, and this is not a good thing. I'm so much of like a crash out and my ego is so insane. I would probably just talk spicier. Like, I don't give you. I bet you could fight. So what's up? Like, that's. I'll take the knockout and everything. I don't care. But I can't. That's the only thing.

[Damaris]

I'm.

[Mall]

Pussy.

[Rory]

Here's the thing.

[Mall]

Just because you can fight.

[Rory]

I've done that and I've taken the knockout before, but not when I had to go back to the house. Like, if he's living now where your child is. Like that one night. It's like. Cause I've been drunk, said some shit I shouldn't have said, tried to squabble and I lost.

[Mall]

Yeah.

[Rory]

Didn't matter. Never saw that person again. Took my Ls, took my thumps, went home. It's cool. Now I gotta go back to the house where my daughter is.

[Julian]

Yeah.

[Rory]

I'm not gonna talk spicy, and it's crazy. We are gonna find a civil way to solve this as adults. That's all I've been on this whole time. I didn't even know why you were talking spicy.

[Damaris]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Especially if your kids see you get knocked out.

[Rory]

That'd be tough, man.

[Damaris]

Amara see you get knocked out, bro. You. You. She's never washing dishes again.

[Mall]

You gotta die.

[Julian]

Yeah.

[Mall]

My kids see me get knocked out. You gotta die.

[Damaris]

Yeah. I'm Aaron.

[Rory]

What? What's worse? Your daughter seeing you get knocked out or your son seeing you get knocked out?

[Mall]

Your son?

[Damaris]

No way. Your son, My daughter. Your daughter see you get knocked out. You protect her. You was like. You, like the biggest protector in the world to your daughter.

[Rory]

Yeah.

[Damaris]

Your daughter sees somebody put you to sleep. Nah, fam. Nah.

[Mall]

But daughters are.

[Damaris]

She's coming home late every night.

[Rory]

One is more.

[Damaris]

Your daughter coming home late every night after that.

[Rory]

That would crush your daughter for your son. Now, he could probably feel like he could talk a little different to you.

[Mall]

Yeah. That's the thing.

[Rory]

Like, which is okay. You could fix that. A girlfriend, a daughter realizing she's not safe is rough.

[Mall]

Yeah. If I seen a dude knock out my dad, I would be so, like, just scared and upset, but it wouldn't change the way I look at my dad.

[Damaris]

You would cry?

[Mall]

Yeah. Of course. If I seen a man knock out my dad, I don't like when my dad argues with people, I cry. Yeah. I don't like that. I'm always. I'm a girl. It's my dad. I don't like that.

[Rory]

Yet you argue with everyone else. Now I see where it trickles down.

[Mall]

Yeah, I don't. I'm very overprotective. My dad has been, like, in arguments with, like, my uncles or something, and he get up, stand up and get in somebody face and, like, I jump up with him. Like, I don't. I don't.

[Damaris]

You start crying?

[Mall]

No, I start squaring up.

[Damaris]

I'm saying, if it's your uncle, like, you start crying.

[Mall]

I don't fuck with my uncles like that.

[Julian]

Just to back to them real quick. Clarissa is 15 fights. 15 wins, three by knockout.

[Damaris]

Oh, you thought somebody beat Clarissa?

[Julian]

Shield and her. Her MMA record is. She also does MMA, guys. Her MMA record is two and one. And she has five gold medals starting in London 2012.

[Damaris]

She's a fighter.

[Julian]

She's a. I got her. Yeah, I'll take the rem with the gun. I'm still taking her.

[Damaris]

Yeah, but gun in the corner.

[Julian]

Gun in the corner. I'm still going to go. Clarissa.

[Damaris]

I don't know, man.

[Julian]

MMA rules.

[Rory]

Remy from Bronx.

[Julian]

She can go slide tackler.

[Damaris]

Remy from the Bronx.

[Rory]

Yeah, Remy. Undefeated in Greenhaven.

[Damaris]

Yeah.

[Rory]

In Clinton, Corrections.

[Damaris]

Castle Hill. She undefeated.

[Julian]

Castle Hill.

[Damaris]

In Castle Hill. Rim is undefeated, man.

[Mall]

So.

[Rory]

And Castle Hill is terrifying. That's some of the most projecty projects I've ever been.

[Damaris]

Castle Hill.

[Rory]

Yes.

[Damaris]

Out to the hill.

[Rory]

Terrifying. And then across the street is like somewhat. Okay. Apartments that make you feel.

[Damaris]

Yeah, like either when you start going like a couple blocks away, it's like, that's nice in the neighborhood. Nah, go through box that way. Don't make that left. And see what they. How they give it up over there.

[Rory]

Terrifying.

[Damaris]

See how they give it up on the hill. Yeah.

[Rory]

Well, I really hope no violence does come from this. From all black love, all parties.

[Damaris]

All black love.

[Rory]

I don't want easy and pap. Not that I would ever have a say in that, but for what?

[Damaris]

Like, yeah, man. All black love, man. Let's go on to 25 with all black love.

[Julian]

Should we talk about a massacre?

[Damaris]

Oh, well, this is why you just.

[Mall]

Spit all over the mic. Oh my God.

[Rory]

Well, this. This woman. This woman spit over a hundred mics.

[Damaris]

Yeah, she spit 100 mics. Yeah, it's wet, yo.

[Julian]

Sorry.

[Damaris]

You okay?

[Julian]

Nah, like I. It was like a.

[Mall]

He started laughing and literally just drooled like into all over the fucking.

[Rory]

Cause he was one of.

[Damaris]

He was. He was 98.

[Julian]

I wish.

[Mall]

No, no, Julie, you definitely participated.

[Julian]

If I was number one, I would check it out.

[Damaris]

I would check it out, see what's going on. What they doing in here?

[Julian]

What y'all doing it.

[Damaris]

What are y'all doing in here?

[Julian]

What's this line for?

[Damaris]

Yeah, this is the bathroom.

[Rory]

Lily Phillips, an only fans girl, had a go model sleeping with. I'm sorry. An only fans model. A professional of the arts mattress actress. Wanted to go for a record the way that all greats in their field try to do.

[Damaris]

She's a real porn star though, right?

[Rory]

She is the Kanye West. She is the Steve Jobs, the Walt Disney, the Elon Musk of only fan models. She wanted to go to Mars and her version of that is sleeping with a hundred guys in one day. Woo. Her goal eventually is 1000, but she just wanted to test the waters.

[Damaris]

Yeah.

[Rory]

The way Elon's sending the rocket up to come back.

[Damaris]

Yeah, you gotta see what's.

[Rory]

That's his hundred, guys.

[Damaris]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Rory]

Thousand is Mars. 100 is just the rocket coming back.

[Damaris]

Got you.

[Rory]

So Lily, right? That's her name?

[Julian]

Yeah, Lily Phillips.

[Rory]

She fucked 100 guys in one day.

[Damaris]

Look at this.

[Rory]

And then they shot like a little mini documentary. There's the COVID They shot a mini documentary and a clip already came out where she started to break down in tears a bit after the traumatic experience of 100 penises entering inside of her within the span of 24 hours.

[Damaris]

So it wasn't like full on sex. They just had how long with her it was.

[Julian]

I think I would believe no more. I think in this clip she says no more than five minutes. And. And she said, oh, that sucks.

[Rory]

Damn.

[Julian]

Well, it got to a point where.

[Rory]

How many minutes are in a day?

[Julian]

It got to a point where she was. Some guys, she wasn't giving them the full five and they would say, hey, like, no, like, I'm finishing my allotted time. And then this is when she started breaking down and crying. She's like. It got to a point where like, I know what's. I know that I'm aware of the situation. I know I'm having sex. I know I'm kind of being used right now. But she goes, I still felt obligated to fulfill what I had. What they agreed or what they thought they were getting into. Yeah. So she was, she was going through like this like mind fuck in real time while just more guys were coming in and out of the room.

[Rory]

That's. First of all, that's bad management. Like, who's her team who decided for five minutes? I didn't even know that fact. I assumed it was like 45 seconds. Not even. We're just going to try to do some content here. Enter.

[Damaris]

Yeah, just penetrate her and get out.

[Rory]

Penetrate and leave is what I thought. She was trying to go. That's what I thought.

[Damaris]

Five minutes is sex.

[Rory]

But that's why I find it funny.

[Julian]

Honestly.

[Rory]

Your girl would 100% have a body if she said a dick entered her. That'd be a body to you don't say five minutes makes it sex.

[Damaris]

No, but I'm saying I know how you think. Of course. If a girl. How do you think if a girl said, nah, he just stuck his penis in me for 12 seconds.

[Rory]

That would be a body man.

[Damaris]

Exactly. So why you say how you know how I was trying to. Like, I think every man thinks like, what the fuck.

[Rory]

Because you were like, well, how long was it? If somebody stuck their dick inside of her, that would be considered sex.

[Damaris]

Yeah, but I didn't know that it was for five minutes.

[Rory]

That's long.

[Damaris]

That's like, you can switch positions.

[Mall]

That's regular sex.

[Rory]

Yeah.

[Damaris]

Like you switching positions before five minutes. So that's why I'm like. I thought she was literally just trying to make Guinness Book of World Record.

[Rory]

Shit.

[Damaris]

Yeah, yeah. Enter inside of me. And then, you know, thank you. Exit sign, a waiver, and everybody's laughing at her.

[Mall]

500. And it's like they think she's crying because she fucked 100 guys. And I don't think it's the number of guys she fucked. I think it's that, like Julian said, they were just. Even though I'm letting you do this, you're still disrespecting me and not listening to what I'm saying. They were nutting her eyes. Even though she told. That's how her eyes are red. They were telling. She was telling people not to nut in my face.

[Damaris]

Right. All right, wait a minute, wait a minute, wait a minute. That's not why her eyes are red. Her eyes are red because she's crying.

[Mall]

Her eyes were red before she started crying.

[Julian]

Well, nut and tears, probably a bad mix.

[Damaris]

Did she say her eyes were. Were. Were.

[Julian]

I haven't seen that, But I didn't see that.

[Damaris]

Show me where she said that.

[Julian]

You got a laugh.

[Damaris]

That clip.

[Mall]

She didn't say it in that clip. Said in the doc.

[Julian]

In this one. I'm about to play.

[Rory]

Watch the whole doc.

[Julian]

I do want to watch it. It's the doc's not her getting. It's like the. The before and after.

[Damaris]

All right, somebody already who has a tape.

[Julian]

The tone of this, but just listen to the tone, because this is, I think, where a lot of the discussion kind of stems from. When was the last time you ate?

[Rory]

Wild question.

[Julian]

A yum yum.

[Lily Phillips]

I think I had a yum yum. And I think I had a sandwich. And that was kind of. And then the rest. It's not for the weak girls, if I'm honest. It was hard.

[Rory]

Pause. She was sucking dick, too.

[Julian]

She swallowed a lot of cum. Yeah. So Demer's probably right. Someone definitely nutted on her face. We don't hit the toilet seat. You think we're gonna only come in over there?

[Damaris]

Wait, wait, wait, wait.

[Rory]

Keep playing. I'm sorry.

[Damaris]

I didn't. Okay. Yeah.

[Lily Phillips]

I don't know if I'd recommend it.

[Rory]

Why not?

[Lily Phillips]

I think if you're a different type of girl, it's very like. It's kind of like being a problem in a sense of, like, it's just a different.

[Mall]

Feeling.

[Lily Phillips]

I don't know how to explain it.

[Rory]

Like, it's not like just having sex with someone.

[Lily Phillips]

Yeah, yeah. Just one in, one out. Like, it feels intense.

[Julian]

Like more intense than you thought it might. It's, like, mechanical. Like she's being used. It's like she's a product at that point. You're not a person. You're being used as a product.

[Damaris]

She was. She's into porn. She's a product.

[Julian]

It's different.

[Mall]

This is completely different.

[Julian]

Definitely different than, like, pulling up to a shoot fucking guy for like, two, three hours and then going home knowing it's a paid gig. Whatever. I get it. This got her a lot of exposure and, like, whatever, but the, like, the physical act of going through that has to be. I mean, look at it. I would imagine she's a product. Trauma, too.

[Damaris]

Why are you getting past that? She's definitely a product.

[Mall]

She's not a product, she's a human being.

[Damaris]

Yeah, but for what she's doing, she's a product. She's into the porn business. If she goes on set right now, she is the talent for the day, right?

[Mall]

Yes.

[Damaris]

Are you a product of my environment? Yeah.

[Rory]

Yes, this is a product. When we speak, we are being a product for sure. I think you guys are misunderstanding what Mal is really getting at. No, we're not saying she's not a human being. Use her body for sex, but her work is sex, so her sex becomes a product.

[Damaris]

Yes.

[Rory]

When that. When Willow Ryder, who we love and want her on the show.

[Damaris]

Yes, please.

[Rory]

When she shows up to set you a job after signing a contract, that is her product. Just because she's having sex now, all of a sudden, it's not.

[Julian]

Yeah, that's not fair, Rory. No, because there's a world in acting, in film. We hear horror stories. When actors go on shoots to shoot films for months, even though they say the contract. They make $20 million, they still can have horrible experiences on set, how they're treated. It's not sexual trauma. But just because you agreed to do something, and even if there's a lot of money involved, doesn't mean that trauma can't come from the experience itself.

[Rory]

I'm not saying that it can't. Ball is not wrong in saying that. This is her product. This is what she's selling. She's selling this.

[Damaris]

Yes.

[Rory]

I'm the same way. Actor Sells something. Yes. Traumatic things can happen on set. Fucking Alec Baldwin killed somebody. I'm not saying things can't happen on set, clean. But to say that they were not making a product to sell is fucking insane.

[Mall]

She's saying that she's making a product to sell. It does not make her the product.

[Rory]

Yeah.

[Mall]

Are you seeing what I'm saying? The product right here, right now, is the podcast.

[Rory]

I'm not a businessman. I'm a businessman. Like, what are we talking about? Yes, this is the same thing. She's a brand.

[Mall]

A brand and a product are two completely different things.

[Rory]

They can be one in the same.

[Damaris]

Yeah, they are.

[Mall]

They can be.

[Rory]

They can be one and the same.

[Damaris]

The brand is Pepsi.

[Mall]

The product is Soda is providing a.

[Damaris]

The brand is Lily Phillips. The product is her.

[Mall]

She is creating a product. She is not the product. And I think that that's important.

[Damaris]

No, God created a product.

[Mall]

You guys are not a product. This podcast is the product that you guys create, your creators. You are not a product. Are you serious?

[Rory]

If you are a bodybuilder. If you are a bodybuilder and make a ton of money as a bodybuilder, what is your product?

[Mall]

What do you mean? What is your product?

[Rory]

If people are paying you to go to fucking strongman championships and all that shit, what is your product that you're selling?

[Mall]

You're a brand. Your body, you're. No, it's not.

[Damaris]

She's selling her body.

[Rory]

She's also selling her body. So, like, what are we talking about? I don't want anyone to harm her sexually and not do anything that she didn't agree to. You guys are missing the point. Her pussy is her product.

[Damaris]

Yes.

[Mall]

Okay, we can agree to disagree to that and move on.

[Damaris]

Wait, you think her pussy is not the product?

[Mall]

No, I don't think that her pussy is a product.

[Damaris]

What do you think?

[Rory]

No one should violate her product. But that's her product.

[Mall]

Like, she just said. She said. Well, this felt like being a prostitute. And I think that's why. Because. Because. Listen, let me talk. Because, like, prostitutes, there's no connection in prostitution, which is what Julian was bringing up earlier.

[Julian]

Thank you.

[Mall]

There's no. In prostitution, you are actually selling your body for this person to do whatever they want is a prostitute.

[Damaris]

What is the product you sell when.

[Mall]

You are a porn star? Let me talk. When you are a porn star, you have creative control over certain things when you're on set. And I can only imagine when you're on set doing things with another actor, there's a Connection that you guys build because you're spending time together.

[Damaris]

Oh, okay.

[Mall]

I see what Demaris is taking breaks and things like that.

[Damaris]

You thinking because the cameras does not.

[Mall]

Just have freedom to do whatever the fuck they want to you when you are on a porn set. Now, with this. Even though she was creating porn because the sheer amount of people she had to go through, there was not the amount of creative control. She was not in control like she is or like the team behind her is when she's filming a porno. This. That's why she says she felt like a prostitute. And instead of feeling like she was providing a service and being paid for it, she felt like she was being used.

[Julian]

And even though this was her idea, you can still get to the point where did everything Demaris said, it's like, okay, like, I know that I agree to this. I came up with this concept, but now she's like, well, shit, I have to fulfill. All these guys want me to do this, that, and the third, even though I don't want to, and mentally, I may be tapped out at number 30. I. She says, like, and I may be. This clip I'm about to play where it's like, she kicks in and she's like, fuck. Like, I owe these guys this because this is what I promised them. So now she's kind of toggling with that as well.

[Damaris]

Yeah.

[Rory]

As opposed to a prostitute, which I disagree with Damaris wholeheartedly. I don't think if someone pays a prostitute, they now own her for the night and can do whatever the fuck they want. I don't think that whatsoever. I think a prostitute should have a bunch of rights, and if she feels uncomfortable, should. Should stop.

[Mall]

Yes. We all. We all have a dream world of what prostitution should be.

[Rory]

Okay, so with. Thank you so much. With that said, what would be the difference here? Anyone with a logical brain signing up to fuck 100 guys with 100 different personalities without a background check, without security, all of that, how do we think this is going to work? This isn't victim blaming. This is a fucking woman that did some dumb shit.

[Mall]

No, nobody's saying that she didn't do some dumb. That's.

[Julian]

Yeah, we're not calling her a hero.

[Damaris]

No, but y'all said she's not a product.

[Mall]

I don't think that she is. And I'm thinking that's what she's trying to tell.

[Damaris]

No, because she didn't think she was a product. She found out she's a product.

[Mall]

Y'all are missing the point of the people that are. She thought she was the product.

[Damaris]

A nice lady from London, she had a yum yum in the sandwich. You were the sandwich and the yam yum.

[Rory]

Go ahead, Demur.

[Mall]

My point was that I don't know whether she charged these men or not. I don't think that she did. Yeah, I don't think that. Think that she did. When you're paying for something, if you say, yo, $100 for a blow job, $50 for a hand job, then that is a product because those people are giving you money for that product. She gave people an opportunity for her to make money off of something else and create her own thing. So it wasn't like they went and bought and paid and now they're. This is. They're entitled to this because this is what they paid for. That' what happened.

[Damaris]

See? And that's why you got to have unions, because those gentlemen should absolutely be paid. If she's putting that content up on only fans and she runs up $5.

[Mall]

Million, they were paid in y'all.

[Damaris]

Like, the thing is a payment. It ain't. Let me be the first one to tell you. It ain't for.

[Mall]

For who will go and slide their dick into somebody being number 49 within the past 40. What? In the past 40 minutes? Yes. Those crazy payment today.

[Rory]

Was there a line?

[Julian]

Yes.

[Mall]

Oh, absolutely.

[Julian]

There was some footage that show, like, you could just see guys lining up.

[Rory]

You think friendships were formed?

[Julian]

Probably.

[Rory]

There's probably, like, some guys that are friends now.

[Damaris]

Yeah. So where you from? Yeah, let's go get some.

[Rory]

I mean, naturally, you just chat in line.

[Damaris]

Yeah.

[Julian]

9 and 11 probably hit it off. There's one more clip that I wanted to see because she. There's a little more context, too, that.

[Lily Phillips]

She provides, I think sometimes, like, feeling so, like, robotic, like, by the. I think like the 30th, you know, like, when we're getting on a bit, I've got, like, a routine of, like, how we're gonna do this. And, like, it just sometimes you'd, like, disassociate and be like, you know, like, it's not like, normal things at all. In my head right now, I can think of, like, five, six guys, 10 guys that I remember, and that's it.

[Mall]

But it's just.

[Lily Phillips]

I don't know. It's just weird, isn't it? Like, if I didn't. If I didn't have the videos, I wouldn't have known. I've done 100, you know, but, yeah, I think that was kind of the hard part is, like, Conversing with them and like, when they'd kind of be like, oh, like we've only had two minutes or three minutes and you said five on the message.

[Julian]

Did someone say that to you?

[Lily Phillips]

Yeah. And obviously just makes feel so bad.

[Julian]

Do you think you should feel bad about that?

[Rory]

No.

[Lily Phillips]

I guess when you've promised something to people who support you, it's kind of hard to let them down.

[Julian]

But it's up to you, right? Like when, you know.

[Damaris]

Yeah.

[Lily Phillips]

Yeah.

[Damaris]

So essentially these are fans of her.

[Mall]

Yeah.

[Julian]

Public post about it. Yeah. The screening process, I believe, was just a photo and an STD result panel.

[Damaris]

That is sick.

[Julian]

And then from that she selected 100 people.

[Mall]

Yeah, but don't get this twisted. We're not standing up for her. She was a fucking idiot.

[Rory]

I was about to say you. You know me for real. Like, jokes aside, do you view me as a victim blamer ever?

[Julian]

All the time.

[Mall]

On this podcast or in real life?

[Rory]

Real life.

[Damaris]

A victim blamer? No.

[Mall]

Rory has had his victim blaming moment.

[Rory]

This woman is. This woman is not a victim.

[Damaris]

No, she's not. I don't think she's not.

[Rory]

Nobody should even sign up to talk to a hundred people in one day. Like, why?

[Mall]

I don't even think she was trying, but I don't think she was trying to pull up.

[Rory]

Her tears mean nothing. Like, why would you even do this? This is crazy.

[Julian]

Yeah, but like, so what did you.

[Rory]

Think the result was going to be?

[Julian]

Sometimes people do. Again, I think the ultimate addiction here is.

[Rory]

I also don't think this is real, by the way. I don't think she. On her guys. I think this is all fake.

[Damaris]

I said that the other day just.

[Rory]

For the conversation I'm having. I think this is 1000.

[Damaris]

If it's.

[Julian]

If it's a video, I wonder where that is. This is having. The record's like 900. All right.

[Damaris]

900 men in one day or something like that.

[Mall]

A day and 900 in a day.

[Damaris]

What is it like the convention center and guys were just lined up.

[Mall]

Damn.

[Julian]

At j.

[Rory]

He said at Javit Center.

[Damaris]

He. I thought that was the car show.

[Rory]

It was the DNC at the 4040 club anniversary.

[Mall]

Yeah.

[Damaris]

I thought that was Michael Rubin with the fanatics. I didn't know that that was.

[Mall]

The coochie con is crazy coochie Coochie con.

[Rory]

But yeah, but if you think about that, there would be 900 men that just have like something in common, like a deep, dark secret that they don't even tell their families. 900 men fucked one woman in one day.

[Damaris]

That is crazy.

[Julian]

Special bond.

[Damaris]

Wow.

[Rory]

You know how many people that is? How many stories and life journeys?

[Mall]

That is.

[Damaris]

That is crazy.

[Rory]

900 people.

[Julian]

Yeah.

[Damaris]

That's wild.

[Mall]

Yeah. I think we need to. We need. I don't know, we need to protect our girls from themselves.

[Damaris]

Protect your loins. That's the problem. Too many women out here. Your loins is unprotected. You just giving your loins to everybody.

[Mall]

Ooh. You know how many demons at least 17 of them niggas was haunted.

[Damaris]

Yeah, now you got haunted. 17 haunted energy all in your demon in your. In your loins.

[Rory]

Any guy that has.

[Damaris]

Last time you checked your loins, I.

[Rory]

Think 99 out of the hundred probably had demonstrated. I think one guy was probably just like, ha. This be hilarious out of like, good fun. The other 99 have demons.

[Mall]

5 Julians in there and the rest were demons.

[Rory]

That's craziness to even sign up for that. Yeah, well, fucking nuts.

[Damaris]

Lily Phillips will find your content soon. Hopefully we'll we gonna watch this shit.

[Mall]

When we right before we leave.

[Damaris]

Yeah, we gotta watch it.

[Julian]

I'd watch like the first three just to see the vibe. I do watch like the first three. I'd watch like the middle.

[Damaris]

Julian wants to see the vibe.

[Julian]

I do like the first three. And then like, they don't even have.

[Damaris]

Candles lit in there.

[Rory]

That's because he's not a binge watcher. He watched three, then he go do some errands, then come back.

[Mall]

Guy let that play in the background.

[Rory]

Yeah.

[Julian]

She said around 30 or so is when she started to feel the. I want to start at the beginning and then see how her tone changed at 32, 33, and then go to the end and see, like, how weathered and distorted she looks.

[Damaris]

They should make each guy walking with, like a headband like the Ninja Turtles with their number on it.

[Julian]

You think there's a guy in the corner clicking like, you know, like a clicker. Like, all right, four.

[Damaris]

Whose job is that?

[Julian]

Who's counting? Like, who's the counter?

[Rory]

And I'm sure these guys are like overly perverted guys that think like strippers like them. How many guys walked out of the room like, oh, she loved it.

[Julian]

I might bad girl.

[Damaris]

You definitely. She definitely texted me the out of.

[Julian]

I told that the ego check for her to say I only remember four or five of them.

[Damaris]

Oh my God.

[Rory]

Well, all of them think it.

[Julian]

You know, those guys are home. Like, clearly me clearly.

[Rory]

That's why she didn't remember everyone because, you know, I her so well.

[Mall]

Yeah, that's what they were trying. But I guarantee every dude in there was trying to be remembered, like, probably going mad, doing mad.

[Damaris]

Nobody to be not remembered. Damaris, every. That's. He's hoping. He's hoping he's remembered.

[Rory]

How many of them do you think were virgins? I take. I actually completely disagree. I think most of them were virgins. They're like, weird Only fans. Like Reddit.

[Damaris]

Nah, those guys dark. They pay for pussy.

[Mall]

Those guys though them nutting is crazy. Wait, actually, nutting is crazy also.

[Julian]

I highly doubt we're. She. We're saying. We're assuming everyone batted a thousand. We're assuming everyone got it up and everyone performed. There's no way.

[Rory]

That's why I think this is.

[Julian]

They were all, like, lined up and you can see, like, they show the line. What are they fluffing themselves in the hallway? Like, and they're.

[Rory]

They're all on packs.

[Julian]

I'm just saying, like, everyone.

[Damaris]

No way.

[Julian]

Every single guy got it up and fucked her.

[Rory]

And she probably had, like, security in the world.

[Julian]

There's no way there's not other people in the room. Like, yeah, like, how many of those guys. No one that has done that fucked under those circumstances, so. Talk about stage fright. You know, there's a hundred people behind this wall. You know, there's a fucking cameraman right there. There's probably the clicker guy. And then you have her covered in C already on a bed. I'm not going to get hard in that situation every time. Yeah. Studio lighting, like, no.

[Rory]

I fucked like two girls and I could even do that in that situation.

[Julian]

I beat off in the dark.

[Rory]

Those are your own demons.

[Damaris]

Julian beats off in the dark. So he. He can guess who did it.

[Rory]

It's. It's only the place. Only the PlayStation Light.

[Julian]

I. I sit on my hand till it goes numb.

[Damaris]

Yo, this dude is sick.

[Rory]

He tries to fantasize which one of his plants is. Is jerking him off. Who did that?

[Damaris]

He wake up and hit the light.

[Julian]

And say, who touched me to the monastery?

[Mall]

All right. All right, bro.

[Julian]

I don't like how this always ends up on me.

[Damaris]

You said I jack off in the dark. Like, you threw that out there, you.

[Julian]

Guys, but you threw that out there.

[Rory]

There's no way. Let's say it's not 100 guys. I'm. It's. I'm the only guy. It's still this scenario of a girl that I wanted to, but it has the lights, the bed, security. There's no way I'm getting ready.

[Julian]

Do you Guys think you could fuck in, like, a studio under those circles? Not with the Hunter guys all just.

[Damaris]

In general, right here.

[Rory]

Depending on who came in with us here.

[Damaris]

No. Hell, no.

[Rory]

Yeah, we're saying, like, it would be.

[Damaris]

A room, like a whole production. No, no, no, no.

[Rory]

Yeah, it's for.

[Damaris]

It would be.

[Julian]

It's a show, basically.

[Mall]

No, if Jesse Williams walking here right now, I'm leaving. Y'all gonna see parts of my ass y'all ain't never seen.

[Damaris]

I'm cool.

[Rory]

But first of all, it's different for men and women in that. Well, not different, but we have to, like, actually get it up. Women don't have to get it up.

[Mall]

Women do have the equivalent of getting it up.

[Rory]

There's lube.

[Damaris]

What's the equivalent?

[Rory]

Just write some on there.

[Damaris]

Y'all just flick that bean until it gets sensitive and swollen. And then.

[Julian]

What's the equivalent, though?

[Mall]

So you do know that you probably don't know this, but, like, women have to be turned on to make penetration easier.

[Julian]

I don't know.

[Rory]

But this is a performance, so.

[Damaris]

Yeah, you got to do is remember your lines. Yeah.

[Mall]

Jessica, do y'all know how tight closes up when women aren't turned on? Like, you know that the muscles relax when they're turned on?

[Damaris]

Yes, Damaris.

[Mall]

Okay, well, y'all are acting like y'all don't know that. So y'all are saying women don't have to be turned on.

[Rory]

I don't. Because I've never tried to enter a woman that wasn't turned on or relaxed.

[Julian]

Put my head in there if I wanted to.

[Damaris]

What?

[Julian]

Yo, it's relaxed.

[Mall]

Y'all hired him.

[Julian]

No, I'm just saying, like, it's the open.

[Mall]

Fuck you looking at me for?

[Damaris]

Let's take a break. I used to bath.

[Rory]

More. Holiday season can be rough as an adult. It's crowded everywhere. You have to remember this entire present list for all the kids. How I've been dealing with it is via the flow. Gummy, in particular. It has helped me, gave me more energy to try to bust through those crowds, to get that TV fighting everyone in the mall.

[Damaris]

Cause you can't forget the tv.

[Rory]

And sometimes I forget my phone, so I don't even have the list of presents. Helps my memory. I remember exactly what that nephew wanted.

[Damaris]

Rory. I like the Zen sleep gummy. I pop it right before I get in the shower at night. It helps me relax after a long day.

[Rory]

Okay.

[Damaris]

Pardon? Being on camera, you just need to relax and kind of reset and get away from it all. They also have zero THC products. If THC isn't for you, you can still take advantage of their CBD line with products designed for sleep, focus and energy that will keep you glowing all year long.

[Rory]

That's why I prefer it this holiday season. Gift yourself some peace of mind. If you're 21+, check out the link to via in our description and use the code RoryMall to receive 15% off after your purchase. They ask you where you heard about them. Please support our show and tell them we sent you this holiday season. Enhance your every day with Viya.

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Streaming now only on Peacock.

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[Damaris]

All right, so Jamie Foxx came back to, I guess, Hollywood. Cause he's been going even, you know, kind of off the scene and, you know, recovering from him being sick over the past couple years. So he came back, he has a new Netflix special called what Had Happened Was. And if you're a fan of Jamie Foxx like I am, I think Jamie Foxx has a classic standup comedy with I might need security. I think that's probably one of my favorite standup specials of all time. So what Had Happened was is on Netflix, Jamie Foxx's testimony, if you will, on everything that happened. Because there's been a lot of talk about what his sickness was, what happened to him over the last couple of weeks. You know, some videos dropped, I guess people were recording at the show and, you know, he made a joke about, you know, Puffy is the one that poisoned him and got him sick. So there was a whole bunch of think pieces on social media, people saying, oh, Jamie Foxx has, you know, Puffy tried to kill him and Puffy poisoned him. Was part of a joke that people obviously didn't get because the special hadn't been out yet. So I watched it the other night and I think I went into it with different expectations. I think I went into it with the Same expectations of I might need security. I thought that was. I thought this special was gonna be kind of like a part two to that. So when I watched it the first time, it was interesting. The angle was very different. It was more of a testimony. It was more of a try to make light of such a serious situation that he had went through as far as his health was concerned, him speaking to, him holding on to his sense of humor, even in some of his most vulnerable moments of not being able to clean himself properly and not being able to bathe himself because he had suffered what he revealed to us as I think people kind of knew. But he said he had a stroke. He suffered from a stroke. So if you ever had, you know, family members or friends that suffered a stroke, you know, it completely, sometimes completely paralyzes them. They have to literally learn all of their, you know, mechanisms and mechanics of how their body works and walk, motor skills, motor skills, all of that all over again from scratch. So Jamie Foxx had to go through that. And this special was a testimony to that, his journey through that, his journey back from that. So it wasn't full of funnies. It wasn't full of jokes. It was him making light of the whole process, the thoughts he was having in those moments of him being an A list Hollywood. He is A list, right? Would you agree?

[Rory]

I would say so.

[Damaris]

Okay. Him being an A list Hollywood actor, being on top of the world, having access to homes and cars and all of this, and then being reduced to not even being able to wipe his own ass, which is, you know, as a grown man, that's some of the most humbling, you know, situation that you probably will ever go through, especially when you're an A list celebrity as Jamie Foxx. Now you have these nurses that are just coming in bathing you completely naked. You take a shit, they have to wipe you. Like, you just. You felt like. Right? What he felt like was, who am I? I don't even know who I am anymore. I thought I was this big, you know, celebrity, and now here I am in the hospital just trying to, you know, get back to my everyday, normal life. So I watched it twice because, again, the first time it was kind of like that wasn't what I was expecting. But then I watched it again and I understood it. It was very emotional. It was a few times where, you know, watching it, it appeared as if he wasn't gonna even be able to, like, make it through some of the set because, again, he's reliving those most vulnerable times and the things he was thinking about. But overall I enjoyed it for what it was. I went into it thinking it was gonna be just a full out laugh fest comedy special. Jamie Foxx, one of the most talented, funniest guys in the industry that we've ever had in our culture. But this was a emotional testimonial. You know, I'm just happy to be alive. I think this was filmed less than two blocks from the hospital that he was in. I think some of the staff was at the show.

[Julian]

Yep, they were there. He acknowledged that.

[Damaris]

So it was a very. It was a very emotional, emotional night for Jamie. I think that, you know, bare minimum, as we are the bare minimum, boys. I think that he was just happy to be back on stage, walking, talking, have all his motor skills. He did a beautiful, a beautiful performance with his daughter. It was just an emotional night. And I think that I went into it thinking it was gonna be straight up, oh, my God, Jamie is the funniest dude. And it wasn't that. It was an emotional testimonial. I'm just happy to be alive. I'm happy to be back in front of the people that love me and just, you know, kind of like introduce yourself back into some type of normal way of life.

[Rory]

Yeah. And you guys watched it as well, right?

[Mall]

Julian, go ahead. You can, you can share. I want to be honest.

[Julian]

Everything Mal said is true and I agree. And for what it is, I think it's okay. But for what? Not what I wanted. Because who cares what I wanted? I didn't like it at all. I wasn't a fan and I have notes. I didn't like it. Three minutes in, I texted the group chat. Damaris told me to stop because we were going to talk about it today. I hate how it was edited. I don't like how it was shot.

[Damaris]

They didn't use the right camera.

[Julian]

No. Like, the zoom ins on the crate was too much. Too much. This, like close ups of it was just. I don't want to worry about the technicality, production side of things. Let's just talk more about the actual thing.

[Damaris]

He.

[Julian]

The real joke started to come about 15, 20 minutes in. The first couple minutes is him dancing to records and him saying, I'm Jamie Foxx. He had this whole moment where this therapist, Holly, breaks him, basically. And the doctor that saved him was this white boy in a Laker jersey that he kept saying. And throughout the show he kept saying, I'm Jamie Foxx. I'm Jamie Foxx. And it was like, I think it was him convincing himself that he's still him as he's going through this very traumatic, a vulnerable moment in front of this theater. And then he has this whole thing where it's like, if I can stay funny, I can stay alive. And he would like use that as a call in response to him referencing him in Django or him talking about other films that he's done. And it's like, it just was like a kind of, to me was like a victory lap in that sense where like then the projector came down and he's, you know, started singing slow jams. And then in the middle of slow jams, he goes, I made it, I'm back. It was just like very much Jamie Foxx convincing himself that he's still Jamie Foxx. If that makes right. Am I wrong for saying that?

[Rory]

No, I think almost dying.

[Julian]

Yeah, that was probably like, I, like, under the circumstances, I get it, it makes sense. But I.

[Damaris]

But you gotta also like it because.

[Julian]

You like hammered in the religious angle, which I think is. I'm not a religious person. I just, I get it. I mean, I. Yeah, yeah.

[Damaris]

But you've never been through a near death experience.

[Julian]

I personally haven't. I've had family members that have. I've never just turned to God.

[Damaris]

And I agree. And that's fair because I do understand a lot of people went into watching it, they was expecting like this, you know, another just laugh all night event. And I had those same, you know, I went into it. I went into it. Same with those same type of.

[Mall]

Expectations.

[Damaris]

Well, expectations, yes. But I went into it thinking like, yo, Jamie is about to prove that he's still, you know, one of the funniest, most talented guy. Like, that's just how I went into it. And while he is, I do think what you're saying is correct, but I do think that it's part of it. Like if you have a near death experience, like a stroke, you have to kind of convince yourself that, yo, I'm still. Yeah, I can still do this. And I think that's what he did. I think that. And he spoke to the fact that people were saying, there's a clone. That's not. Cause he was speaking to the shit that was going on online. People were saying, that's not really Jamie, that's a clone. So he was like, you can't clone this. And then he start going into his, you know, into his impersonations and into his characters. Like, you know what I mean? Things like that. Like, you would start going. So I understood the tie in. It's Kind of like, oh, yeah. I thought that it was some clone walking around.

[Rory]

And it was in Atlanta. Was Gucci's clone in the front row, too?

[Julian]

I will say, like, his sister and his daughters are amazing. I didn't know much about his family. I earned a lot of. Gained a lot of respect for the people that he are close to him in his life and how he showed love to not only his family, but the nurses that were there. That was awesome. I love all that. But I just wanted to. And it sounds so wrong of me to say, like, one of the funniest wasn't good. The guy almost died. He was in a coma for 20 days. He woke up on May 4th. Rory, he woke up on your birthday, I remember. Yeah, he was. Yeah. He had to wake up for your birthday, celebrate for your toast.

[Rory]

The clone, at least.

[Julian]

Yeah.

[Rory]

But it was just disrupted by Meet the Grahams.

[Julian]

To me, like, I feel like the era of comedy specials has become the era of less about jokes and more preachy and more like, even when Chappelle goes on now, it's not so much like, here's jokes. It's like, I'm gonna tell you about how I feel about this one specific.

[Rory]

Thing that's been Chappelle for a while.

[Julian]

No, but I'm saying this. I don't like that. I don't like. A lot of the crowd pops and a lot of the biggest claps and the pans of the audience is like, they weren't even, like, jokes. It was just like a thing he said that wasn't even like a tear moment. It was just like a thing he said. And they're like, oh. I'm like, what?

[Mall]

So, okay, so what I get completely what you're saying, and I understand that a lot of people will not enjoy this. I probably won't watch it again. Not because it wasn't well done. I understand why it was. It wasn't done for a mess. It was done for him and the people who love Jamie Foxx and the people who are. Who would have been very, very, very hurt if something had. If Jamie Foxx wouldn't have made it out of where he was. Yeah, that's what that was for. That was for Jamie Fox fans to see that he's okay. I don't think it was there to make you laugh at all. I didn't really laugh. I had a couple giggles, actually. The moment that made me laugh the hardest is when he was singing about not dating white women no more, and the black women in the audience stood up like, he was preaching. Like, they stood up like they were in church. Like, yes, say it again. He been delivered. And that shit cracked me up. This whole entire thing, especially being that it's in Atlanta and the majority of the audience was just like, black people and black women. And he was like, on his preachy, like, church shit. It just gave black church to me. And I cracked up the entire time, mainly at that, because I'm just like, look at my people. Look at the shit they clapping at. Like, it was very entertaining in that. And it felt very familiar because I went to black churches. I know. I just know, like, he's the old black uncle. He done been through some shit. Everybody in the front row, take your time, Jamie. Like, that type of shit. It was fucking hilarious to me. Like, it was very comedy. Yeah, it was a straight testimony.

[Damaris]

It was a testimony.

[Mall]

There was really no. There was really no real jokes. I did cry.

[Rory]

Like when Cedric the Entertainer goes up there. Not Cedric, Steve Harvey, and just plays old school music. So remember this one? That's his whole stand up bit. And everyone just cheers.

[Julian]

Yeah, don't do Harvey like that.

[Rory]

Steve Harvey. King's a comedy. That's all he would do was play old music and be like, remember this one when you walked in the house and you trying to fuck your wife? And then he'd put on fucking Lenny Williams and he's like, oh, my God.

[Mall]

Yeah, this is an ass. Yeah. And then his. So I knew what it was gonna be when I called my parents, and my parents were like, yo, I cried the entire time. I'm like, oh, this for old black people. Got it. So when I watched it, I did cry when I saw when his daughter, you know, said that, I knew that you would make it. Because I always dreamt we would play on stage one day together. And then they played on stage. Tears. Oh, that's cute. It was very. It was very adorable. But I knew who it was for. And we're not the target audience. Unless you're a huge Jamie Foxx fan, like I am. But the rest, we're not the target audience.

[Rory]

Love Jamie Foxx. I kind of tie in not rushing to watch this. Not because of his stroke or his health problems, just kind of how I view legends going back into the field. Like we talked about with the Dre and Snoop album. I'm gonna get around to it when it comes out. I'm not rushing to it. They're legends in their own right. I just. I'm not rushing to it. I don't really care that much. They're solidified in my brain forever. Jamie to me is one of the greatest that's ever lived in so many categories. I'm not rushing to watch his stand up in 2024.

[Julian]

If you want to remember. If you want to remember his best moments in his hits and do see. Watch him do some impressions and sing.

[Mall]

For a bit bit which he still smokes by.

[Rory]

I'm still gonna watch this no matter what and I'm still gonna listen to Dre and Snoop's album. It's just not on my priority list over sleep.

[Julian]

This was like a selfish. If I were to say it was a victory lap. Like, this is like a. Yeah, it's like a deserve one. It was like a self eulogy kind of. That's how I like it played to me at least. I don't know like I. But it was cool to see him be able to do this on his own terms. Like his family held him down. That's what he kept saying. My. My family held me the down. He kept repeating that. And it was cool to see him be able to again fill us in on what the fuck happened because it went dark for a while. And it's nice that he's one of the few celebrities of this status that got to control the narrative and not only like, do his sit down interview, but get a Netflix bag out of it and like make it a moment.

[Damaris]

So I think that, yeah, I mean, again, it's just glad. I'm glad to see Jamie Foxx back healthy, back on stage where he loves to be performing, being an entertainer as he talked about. But it was good to hear him tell the story and for him to kind of put away some of the rumors and things that people were saying online and things like that. Let him tell his testimony, give his testimony in his words, and obviously you could tell it affected him. He was very emotional the whole.

[Mall]

He cried the entire time.

[Julian]

The entire time.

[Damaris]

Yeah. There's a lot of times again he was crying so hard that he damn near made me cry. And I'm like, n what I'm crying for? Like, you know what I'm saying? I thought this was a conversation, but you gotta understand it. Like a stroke. And again it was. You could just feel him saying, like, having those thoughts like, yo, I'm Jamie Foxx. Like, how am I in this hospital bed? Can barely even move now. Like, what the fuck? Like, but just that fast. It shows how, you know, life can literally turn upside down for you no matter who you are, how much success you've attained. How much money you've a mask and the following, all that. None of that matters if your health is not correct. So I think he did a great job at getting that message across and delivering it in a funny way. You gotta laugh at yourself, laugh at the turmoil and the trials that you go through. And I think he did a good job of that.

[Mall]

If you watching it, if you. If you're going into it to try to laugh or putting it on to laugh, you're not gonna laugh. You're not really gonna laugh. It's not a laugh and it's not comedy.

[Damaris]

It's literally to see him healthy back on stage, laugh at some of the shit he been through and make light of it. But understand that you're not gonna put this up against some of the comedy specials that we've seen this year. This is not that. This is something totally different from that. But I do think that if you've ever supported Jamie Foxx, and if you do like Jamie Foxx as an artist, then I think this is definitely something you should watch.

[Julian]

Do you think. I'm curious. Do you think, what should we expect? Or what do you think will happen next? Will he dive back into film or do you think. I mean, he's obviously on a.

[Damaris]

He's probably on a restriction as far as, like, you know. Cause filming, you know, major. Major films with major production, as Jamie Foxx has done, that takes a toll on you physically.

[Mall]

Even when you're healthy.

[Damaris]

Yeah, even when you're, like, completely healthy. So healed.

[Rory]

Like 100 people a day.

[Damaris]

Yeah, something like that. And then he felt like a prostitute. I think Jamie said he felt like a prostitute one time on the set of Django. If of all sets.

[Mall]

He's stupid. He did do. They cloned Tyrone, though. And that was a pretty. That was a pretty production. I love they cloned Tyrone.

[Damaris]

Yeah.

[Rory]

I thought it was great.

[Julian]

That was a cool film, but I.

[Damaris]

Just don't know how much, you know, more of that he'll do yearly. But he does seem to be back. He looked good, you know, he looked healthy. It just. Obviously you could tell when he still talks about it. It's a very emotional thing. But I did enjoy it, though.

[Mall]

I can tell. I don't. I mean. And what I want from Jamie is another album. He still sounds amazing, by the way. By the way, to everybody who was laughing at me when I put Jamie on my top male vocalist of all time, I just wanna say, post stroke and everything, in the middle of crying, he's still blowing out, y'all Favorites on stage. I just wanted to throw that out there, like. Cause y'all looked at me like I was crazy. But anywho, I wanna.

[Damaris]

Who on my list could Jamie Foxx out sing anyway?

[Rory]

I think my favorite was Whitney Houston.

[Mall]

It was all male, so how would it be Whitney Houston?

[Rory]

That's not true. I drafted Brandi second.

[Mall]

I think we're talking about for the male draft. But I want another album from him. But Jamie can.

[Damaris]

But he can sing, though. Jamie Foxx can sing. He can definitely sing. Still Sounds great.

[Mall]

I don't know, man. Jamie might get Prince out of here. And singing and singing and singing.

[Damaris]

Yo, so, yo, we got voicemails.

[Mall]

Oh, P Said he better than usual. Pete said that? He said, hell, yeah.

[Julian]

He said, hell, yeah.

[Damaris]

Jamie Foxx is not.

[Rory]

Jimmy Foxx is not.

[Julian]

While you're saying that Jamie Fox does.

[Damaris]

Not sing better than Usher and you better than us, H, you will not.

[Rory]

Get me to On Jamie Foxx. But please stop.

[Julian]

He said he's not that good.

[Mall]

But. But I just think that Jamie is underrated as a vocalist. Like, people be acting like, okay below.

[Damaris]

But you said he could sing better than Prince and then said us. Can you see how y'all are both on the wrong side of that?

[Mall]

I think if Jamie had leaned completely into being a singer like he did acting, I think he would have a different rep. But he didn't lean into. He did a couple albums, which were fucking amazing, by the way. But he didn't really lean into singing.

[Rory]

Yeah, no. I feel like you got it bad. Jamie would definitely do that one.

[Mall]

If you think Jamie couldn't do, you got it bad.

[Rory]

I'm not saying he can't. But not better than Usher.

[Damaris]

Jamie does not sing better than Usher, man.

[Mall]

Oh, I didn't think he said peach at it.

[Damaris]

Anyway, like I said, definitely don't sing better than Prince.

[Mall]

Like I was saying, I want another album from him, But I can tell by the way that he was talking, it gives that he's about to really enjoy his time with his family. Like, he's about to just die.

[Damaris]

Life is life.

[Julian]

I hope so.

[Damaris]

Everything is, you know, going through something like that, you have to guess that it puts life into perspective. Like the things that really matter, like the fame, the money, all of that, that means nothing. When you lay in there and that nurse. You woke up and that nurse already told you, yeah, I just finished washing your ass. Like, I done seen everything.

[Julian]

His pickle, as he referred to it throughout.

[Rory]

Yeah, it's just like, now comes to my comedy show.

[Damaris]

Yeah.

[Rory]

Well, anyways, in other great news, another Caitlyn is Woman of the Year. Caitlyn should always be Time Women of the Year.

[Julian]

White women.

[Rory]

It should just always be Caitlin.

[Damaris]

She's the Athlete of the Year, not the Woman of the Year.

[Rory]

Okay, well, either way, Caitlyn's of the.

[Damaris]

Year year shout out to Caitlin Clark. Congratulations.

[Rory]

Time Loves to.

[Damaris]

Caitlin had an amazing year. Did a lot for the WNBA platform.

[Mall]

What year did Simone win autumn medals? Was it this year or last year? It was this year. Right? This was the Olympics. I was just wondering.

[Rory]

You do have a good point.

[Mall]

I was just fucking wondering.

[Rory]

You do have a good point.

[Mall]

Just. Just wondering.

[Rory]

Okay, you may not agree with my response to that. She's done that so much that I.

[Damaris]

Think Caitlin Simone Biles won Athlete of the Year one year. Right? Tom had to have given her one of these.

[Mall]

Yeah, I'm sure she won one of these.

[Rory]

She should have over like the fucking decades.

[Mall]

Like, should be every year.

[Rory]

But because, like, she's done it.

[Julian]

She won it last year.

[Damaris]

There you go.

[Mall]

No, she should have won again this year. But I get that she can't win it two years in a row.

[Julian]

She won times Athlete of the year in 2021. She was voted female athlete of the Year by the Associated Press in last year.

[Mall]

23 time should have given it to her again this year, which would have.

[Rory]

Been deserved, but what Pete said, voter fatigue.

[Damaris]

Like, no, man, y'all are missing it. It helps elevate the WNBA platform.

[Rory]

And I'm saying, what can you say?

[Damaris]

You want the WNBA to get bigger? This is it. This is time. Athlete of the Year is a WNBA player. This helps elevate the entire platform.

[Julian]

That is huge.

[Damaris]

Yeah, man, you need that.

[Mall]

So while we get to INS school or whatchamacallit from Syracuse. What's her name? Bri.

[Julian]

So you can't even know Brianna sport.

[Rory]

Because I think with this, they didn't.

[Damaris]

Have the now Brianna won it all shout out to the Liberty. They won it all.

[Julian]

But that's not impact.

[Rory]

When time does Athlete of the Year, I don't think they're specifically going through stats and ability. It's impact on what they did for that organization. Okay, not only that, in the wnba.

[Damaris]

Yeah, she elevated the entire league shout out to her. And Angel Reese had a hand in that too. Their. Their, like rivalry and things like that. That. That helped elevate the entire thing. I love this for. For the wnba. I think it's great that they gave Caitlin the Athlete of the Year and she had a great year. When you look at her numbers, like.

[Rory]

As a rookie, yeah, for sure.

[Damaris]

She was going crazy this year. So I'm, I'm, I'm not mad at it now. Her, what she said and what did she say?

[Rory]

Yeah, I like that woke shit, huh?

[Damaris]

Not that I didn't like it, but it just proves that no matter.

[Rory]

You don't like that George Soros.

[Damaris]

No, no, no, no, no. It's not that. Because if that's how Caitlin felt and that's what was on her heart to say, and what's wrong with what she said, man? I don't think. I don't think there's anything wrong with it.

[Julian]

She said the WNBA is built on the backs of the back of black players. She said, quote, I want to say I've earned every single thing. But as a white person, there is privilege. A lot of the players in the league that have been really good have been built. Have been black players. The league has kind of been built on them. The more we can really talk about.

[Rory]

You, really from Iowa, the more we.

[Julian]

Can appreciate that, highlight that, talk about that, and then continue to have brands and companies invest in those players that have made this league incredible. I do, I think it's very important. I have to continue to try to change that.

[Damaris]

She spoke, she said was amazing, but.

[Julian]

Now she hardly speaks.

[Damaris]

By the way, the backlash that she's receiving because they're saying, oh, how dare you apologize for being a white woman. Like, what's wrong with you? Like, why would you apologize for.

[Mall]

I didn't say apologize.

[Damaris]

Well, she was saying that she recognizes that she has white privilege. She just recognized that.

[Rory]

That's not apologizing. That's just a fact.

[Damaris]

I mean, you know, I get it, but people that. And it's ironically, it's the same people that championed her. Well, most of the people that championed her all year that are now saying, oh, you are apologizing for being a white woman. What is wrong with you?

[Mall]

She's learning that they weren't championing her just to champion her.

[Damaris]

Look at, look at footy in the woods sticks. Oh, no. Footy in the woods, Texas. I'm sorry, I thought you were joking.

[Rory]

That's actually the account name.

[Damaris]

Foodie. Foodie in the woods, Texas.

[Rory]

Oh, I mean, you see why I wore this shirt? Cause I was pissed at Caitlin Clark.

[Damaris]

Yeah. He says, wow, so disappointed. You caved into the made up fantasy world of the delusional left. I was such a big fan of you. Not because you're white, because you're amazing, talented talent. Unfortunately, Your ego and attitude are starting to stink. More than that, your ego.

[Julian]

She gave up her whole ego. That's the point of the statement.

[Damaris]

You had a huge platform to bring people together. Instead you are choosing to push people apart.

[Rory]

What about that as a part.

[Damaris]

How did foodie in the Woods Texas come up with that? I don't know.

[Rory]

This is why your side sounds so stupid sometimes.

[Julian]

No longer supporting my side.

[Damaris]

I didn't fucking vote your side.

[Mall]

They're just, they. They try to hide it under the guise of support. You guys don't support her or care about the women's NBA. You care about Caitlin Clark because of that rivalry that went with Angel Reese and you created a whole racial thing because of that. Black people didn't create that. White people created that. And then they oh, Caitlyn, Caitlyn, greatest thing ever. Which she is fucking amazing. I'm not taking that from her. But they bigged her up. And you're not a fan of her talent. There's plenty of talented women. There's been plenty of talented women in the wnba. Y'all don't give a fuck about them. Y'all don't care about talent. Y'all cared about that, that rivalry and that making her the great white hope and sticking up for her. And you used it as an excuse to be a racist. And now that she's saying that I don't support none of that racist shit y'all on now y'all turning against her. That's what the fuck that is.

[Damaris]

Look at your girl Megan Kelly. She says look at this, she's on the knee. All but apologize for being white and getting attention. The self flagellation, the oh please pay attention to the black players who are really the ones you want to celebrate. Condescending.

[Rory]

That's about what you said once parent said like not even a little bit.

[Mall]

They're fucking idiots.

[Rory]

They're the. And again, it's both sides when it comes to athletic shit. All athletes should shut up. Unless it's what the agenda I want to push. Yeah, if it's something I agree with, then we should champion it. And all athletes should aspire to think this way either way. But if it's not my point of view, you shut up.

[Julian]

If she went up there and said white power, they would have put a bronze statue for outside of Fox News.

[Damaris]

But yeah, shout out to Caitlin Clark on winning time Athlete of the year. She definitely helped to elevate the WNBA platform this year along with other great players. Angel Reese Arike from Dallas. I hope I said her name, right. We follow each other on Instagram. I was supposed to go to the game this year and check out, but.

[Rory]

I put up on. Lexi was courtside. Like, you have to support the way I.

[Damaris]

Next time I go to la, if it's in season, I do.

[Rory]

I go to Dallas with you.

[Damaris]

Yeah, go to Dallas and catch. If they play. When they play the Sparks. Watch Arika bust Lex's ass.

[Rory]

N. Don't even do this.

[Mall]

N. Don't do that. Don't do that.

[Rory]

You better relax.

[Damaris]

You ever seen Arika play?

[Rory]

I have, yeah. I've been.

[Damaris]

She be out there. Fuck. She got that shit on the string.

[Rory]

I didn't even see Lexi's backstep in this off season. Just like. Just like this.

[Damaris]

That look like a foul.

[Rory]

Yeah, I'm teaching. I'm teaching her the elbow. I know. I'm teaching Lexi a little elbow.

[Damaris]

Shout out to Angel Reese. All other.

[Rory]

But what's funny is with that, with the Caitlin Clark shit they interviewed, there was a whole article, right? Everyone's reacting to three sentences. Like they define this whole thing about black.

[Damaris]

That's all that fucking matters. You know?

[Rory]

Like, Caitlin Clark went in there. We're only talking about black players. Like, no, that's like three sentences out of a whole article.

[Damaris]

It was great. I think what she said was great, man. It's just people. People are ignorant. And she. I think she understands that.

[Rory]

Your man Donny took it for the males. Male Athlete of the Year.

[Damaris]

Male Athlete of the Year. Donald Trump. Donald Trump won Person of the Year for Time magazine.

[Rory]

He's got a couple. How many does he have?

[Damaris]

Who's counting?

[Julian]

I think he has the most.

[Rory]

He has to have the most of this.

[Damaris]

Who is counting? I'm not counting.

[Rory]

You're asking who's counting so you could know who's counting.

[Damaris]

I don't know who's counted. Like, fuck.

[Rory]

I feel like even when he lost, he got time.

[Damaris]

Personal year, probably he deserved it.

[Rory]

I mean, he's probably the most famous human being.

[Julian]

It's like when LeBron won the Finals MVP after losing.

[Damaris]

Yeah, you deserved it.

[Julian]

Almost. He should have.

[Damaris]

He should have.

[Julian]

This says again. So this is at least his second.

[Rory]

I feel like it's more, but. All right. Yeah. I mean, yeah.

[Julian]

Yeah. Second time.

[Rory]

Time is gonna.

[Damaris]

Time time and time again. Don is the man of the Year.

[Rory]

This happened while we were recording. So I don't have the full details, but congrats to hot one, Sean Evans. I. I think I want to say congrats if that's the deal. You Guys wanted to get. They Buzzfeed sold. Hot Ones or Hot Ones bought out of the Buzzfeed contract. Either way, congrats to Sean. Amazing platform, everything you've built.

[Julian]

82 and a half million.

[Rory]

I hope you get every last dollar you deserve. I hope this is the deal that you wanted. So congrats to shout out to Sean Evans at Hot Ones and to Sean Evans. Are we missing anything? Do we go to voicemails?

[Damaris]

I.

[Rory]

Should we save Bill Belichick or.

[Damaris]

I mean, it's not much to talk about. Bill Belichick, head coach.

[Rory]

Look what some new pussy will do to you, man.

[Damaris]

He went back to college.

[Rory]

Some young pussy would rejuvenate you. You'll write a 400 page Bible, throw it on the desk and say, you got an hour. My girlfriend also needs tuition money here.

[Damaris]

You got an hour to read those 400 pages and get back to me.

[Mall]

Can you guys explain to me, I'm just a girl who doesn't really watch sports, why this is such a big deal? Why is it even making. I don't get it.

[Rory]

The greatest NFL coach of all time. All right, let's say now. Going down.

[Julian]

No, we have to. I'm trying to think. We have to do this in Damaris term. This is like if. Oh, man.

[Mall]

Just explain it in regular terms. I know who Bill Belichick is. I just want.

[Julian]

No, but I want to do. I want to.

[Damaris]

If Beyonce.

[Rory]

Beyonce, like UNC being the city girls is hilarious.

[Julian]

This is like if Beyonce won on like X Factor.

[Damaris]

Okay.

[Julian]

Or like making the band.

[Damaris]

This is equivalent.

[Rory]

I see where you're taking it.

[Mall]

This is equivalent.

[Rory]

I don't fully agree, but yeah, you're there.

[Julian]

You do. You're at the peak.

[Rory]

But not even like X Factor at its peak. Like America's Got Talent when it was falling off. Yeah, that would be like if Beyonce was like, I'm going to host now.

[Julian]

With Nick doing American Idol now.

[Mall]

So he's going to. He's still going to be doing what, D1, right? Still?

[Rory]

Yeah, but it's not like he went to a program like Alabama or like.

[Damaris]

He went to a program that's not respected that much in football.

[Rory]

They have their years every now and then.

[Mall]

So he went to. He's going. He's. I mean, I don't. I don't know. Maybe I'm just using my.

[Damaris]

Where's his girlfriend from?

[Rory]

She looks like a Tar Heel.

[Julian]

I. I think she's from the New England area.

[Mall]

I'm just. I feel like maybe if you've reached the Pinnacle, the peak. And there's no higher. You can go. Why not go and try to help a program that probably needs your help the most?

[Rory]

Oh, no one's on him for it. We're all excited. He's going to bring so much money into unc. I. I think someone that was in the office earlier said they, like, quadrupled what their investor shit is to their team already.

[Damaris]

Yeah.

[Rory]

Like, the amount of money that's gonna come in is insane.

[Damaris]

This is like if Taylor Swift, like.

[Rory]

Talked to a regular human being.

[Damaris]

Went on. Fucking flew.

[Julian]

Flew commercial.

[Rory]

Yeah. Middle seat.

[Damaris]

Middle seat to Australia.

[Julian]

His girlfriend posted this on her story with the headline and said, we are going. We are on to Chapel Hill.

[Damaris]

So thank you for that.

[Julian]

I'll be moving to Chapel Hill together.

[Mall]

I don't think it's cool.

[Damaris]

Look at that, Julian. We needed that. That was so. That added so much context.

[Julian]

I don't know. It's nice to see that that's what made it together. It must be difficult for her to upgrade her legs.

[Rory]

What was the girl that was championing her. Her boyfriend on Instagram and everyone got mad. Drea. Don't treat her like Drea. She's just championing her, man. She's happy that he has a job.

[Damaris]

Me?

[Rory]

Yeah.

[Damaris]

I wasn't. I'm. I didn't say.

[Rory]

I just thought you trying to downplay her.

[Damaris]

Her Congress saying, thanks, Julian, for adding that to the story.

[Julian]

We really spoke to him about them quite a bit. So it's nice to see that they're staying together and she's moving to Chapel Hill with him.

[Damaris]

Oh, you thought she was leaving? No. Oh, okay.

[Julian]

Never.

[Damaris]

She.

[Rory]

She's.

[Damaris]

She's.

[Julian]

His contract, by the way, is 10 million. I don't know how many years that.

[Damaris]

Spans, but he probably only did one year.

[Julian]

Oh. Per season, so I don't know. It doesn't specify how many seasons.

[Damaris]

Okay. I mean, that's a lot of money to be coaching college football. Definitely the most.

[Rory]

That's a lot of money.

[Damaris]

Yeah. All right.

[Rory]

Regular for, like, again, Alabama, lsu.

[Damaris]

Oh, yeah.

[Julian]

But I believe his dad was involved with the program. There's, like, a photo of him.

[Damaris]

His son is the next. His. His son is probably going to be the next head coach after him.

[Mall]

I think it's in the context, respected for basketball.

[Damaris]

Yeah.

[Mall]

Right. Yes.

[Damaris]

Yeah. The greatest player ever.

[Julian]

Vince Car Carter.

[Damaris]

Michael Jeffrey Jordan.

[Mall]

No, Michael Jordan's name is.

[Rory]

They have great uniforms, too. Jordan brand. There's going to be a lot of money.

[Julian]

Yeah.

[Rory]

That's. That's a program even if they're not known for football, UNC in itself, probably.

[Julian]

They recently had a good Q, then that Drake May kid come out of unc. They're like one of those programs where, like, they're good for, like, every five years. They have like a randomly good top 15 year.

[Rory]

But, like, if Belichick is there and they start now, the.

[Damaris]

It changes the culture for sure.

[Julian]

Now the tournament's so expanded, they could sneak in to that.

[Rory]

I mean, Alabama's out. Look what Dion did. It's possible to just bring a coach in and completely change an entire program.

[Damaris]

Absolutely.

[Mall]

I love that.

[Damaris]

For more time than not. That's how it happened.

[Julian]

They played for him.

[Damaris]

Yeah. Yeah, we have voicemails.

[Julian]

Of course.

[Rory]

You've got mail.

[Julian]

Yes.

[Rory]

Guys, are we out to Raleigh for Dreamville Fest and for a game today?

[Julian]

Today I feel like we should do a couple updates. Remember our married couple that recently called and said they wanted. The gentleman called and said he wanted space.

[Damaris]

Yes, we've got space.

[Julian]

We've not. I also was reading the comments when we did that last one. They said, why would you call this group? None of them have been together for that long and know anything about.

[Damaris]

Gotta call us.

[Mall]

We're fresh eyes.

[Julian]

Whatever. New perspective. Let's see.

[Caller]

Hey, what up, everybody? This is Black from Denver. I just wanted to follow back up, up on my conversation with you guys. I listened to the last pod, and I just sound like complete crap, so I just wanted to sound a little bit better in this voicemail. So, anyway, me and my wife, we did sit down and have a conversation, and we felt like it was best that every weekend I get a day, she gets a day, and then after that, we just have a date together. And then throughout the week, we just try our best to, you know, have different activities going on for ourselves. So, you know, she might go read a book, I might sit here and do some work on a computer, or, you know, I might just go out to the gym while she stays home, vice versa. So we're just really coming up with different plans and different ideas on how we can still communicate but keep things separate. And the last thing. Rory, I know I am not your father, but I was just going to say I wanted to see if he needed somebody else on a pod that was a father to conversate about, you know, parenthood and all that. But hey, guys, thank you so much.

[Damaris]

Peace.

[Rory]

It's a cool schedule, I guess.

[Damaris]

Yeah.

[Rory]

That's kind of what we said, though.

[Damaris]

No, I think so.

[Julian]

Mal suggested he gets his own place.

[Rory]

Yeah. Get Like a side apartment that she doesn't want.

[Julian]

Buy another home for yourself.

[Mall]

But, yeah.

[Rory]

Have the conversation with her that you need space. He pays for actual dates. Yeah. He's handling it okay.

[Damaris]

Yeah.

[Rory]

I don't want a father or a father on the pod, so. I mean, there goes that.

[Damaris]

Yeah.

[Rory]

Though I encourage Mo not to pull out with whatever woman he's dealing with. Maybe that way we could have another father.

[Julian]

Lily Phillips.

[Damaris]

Damn. Look what you put in the air about me. You don't want me to pull out.

[Rory]

Yeah, I want you to have a kid.

[Damaris]

Yeah. What about, like, a loving relationship first? No.

[Rory]

For what?

[Damaris]

Oh, yeah, just a kid. Straight to a kid. Yeah. Got you.

[Rory]

Duh.

[Damaris]

Yeah.

[Rory]

He figured out there's not enough people on Earth.

[Damaris]

There's not. So we're running out of land.

[Rory]

20, 25. Who would be my prediction? Out of the four people in here.

[Damaris]

Who'S gonna have a baby? I know who.

[Mall]

Don't look at me.

[Damaris]

I'm just looking at you. I just said, I know who. All I said was, I know who.

[Mall]

I didn't say.

[Damaris]

I didn't say nothing, baby. I just looked at you and said, I know who. That's all I did.

[Mall]

Don't be me.

[Damaris]

All right?

[Mall]

Out of all of us, I'm the only one in the room in control about whether I have a baby or not.

[Julian]

Not anymore.

[Mall]

I live in New York. Yes, I am.

[Damaris]

Not anymore.

[Rory]

We all thought to joke, but, like, no one said it out loud.

[Damaris]

That's the part of being autistic that you.

[Julian]

New York.

[Rory]

Cancel them all out, because that would never happen.

[Julian]

Yes.

[Mall]

It's gonna be Rory.

[Julian]

Yeah. It's you. It's literally you. Yeah.

[Mall]

Keg before the end of this year.

[Rory]

I think I'm gonna go with Peach.

[Damaris]

No way. Well, I mean, Trump is back, so Peach might be celebrating with a kid.

[Rory]

He loves, like the nuclear family. That's what he wants. Yeah. I think Peach may have, like, a whole separate family in Kansas that we don't even know about.

[Damaris]

That's what you got to keep them middle of America for.

[Julian]

Landlocked.

[Mall]

Yeah, landlocked. It'll definitely be raw. I see it being Rory to most of us. Yeah.

[Rory]

Really? Out of everyone in the room.

[Mall]

Yeah.

[Damaris]

How many people here?

[Rory]

But you guys, like, actively participate in the act that creates children. So I don't understand why you guys don't think you guys can't have children.

[Mall]

Who?

[Rory]

Everyone in this room. Is everyone in this room celibate?

[Mall]

Yes. Oh, me. Sorry, I can't speak.

[Damaris]

What means? What's Celibate. Like how long?

[Rory]

It's pretty easy not having sex.

[Damaris]

Yeah, but you could not be having sex for three weeks. I don't mean you celibate. You just didn't have sex in three weeks.

[Rory]

I agree.

[Damaris]

You got to not have sex in two months.

[Rory]

And that's why I'm saying no one in this room is celibate.

[Damaris]

Yeah, I'm not.

[Rory]

So that means everyone in this room is viable to have children.

[Damaris]

I'm not currently having sex, but I'm.

[Rory]

Not in this moment sitting here.

[Damaris]

Yes, of course not. Just outside of this moment. But I'm just saying I'm not running around like, yo, you know what? I'm doing the celibacy thing, bro. I'm going to get in tune with myself and my chakras, proving my.

[Mall]

Are you making fun of me?

[Rory]

All five people?

[Damaris]

You just had sex. You was getting clapped. You had bunny ears on getting clapped on Halloween.

[Rory]

Allegedly.

[Damaris]

That was.

[Mall]

Wow.

[Julian]

Tune in the Patreon if you want that story.

[Damaris]

I'm sorry, Patreon. Subscribe now. Click me to Went back to zero.

[Mall]

Yep, y'all missed. That was a joke that mall's making right now. Y'all missed it.

[Damaris]

Y'all missed because y'all are not subscribed to Patreon. Patreon.com rorymall if a nigga try to.

[Mall]

Take me up out these streets, I'm sending that baby back to God this year. So I'm telling you, it will not.

[Damaris]

Be me sending it back to God. Spoken like a true Republican.

[Rory]

I mean, but you don't know. Once you feel like.

[Mall]

I know what I feel, baby. Okay, God bless.

[Damaris]

But, Baby D, when do you think you're gonna have kids? Cause you love kids, so I do. When are you gonna have kids?

[Mall]

I have to be. Me and the person I'm in a relationship with have to be in a very, very good financial spot to have kids.

[Damaris]

You don't.

[Mall]

For me. You said what?

[Damaris]

Some of the most successful people I know came from. Not financially stable.

[Mall]

Yeah. And what they had to do is selling crack in the hallways. Right? I don't want my baby to sell crack in the hallways.

[Damaris]

You got to do that. Just get a good job, decent job, together y'all can make.

[Julian]

Get it out the mud, pull yourself.

[Mall]

Up by your bootstraps. That's what it's giving. Yeah. No, I'm not. It's not even about that. It's more about, like I've expressed to you guys plenty of times that I don't. People say that I'm lazy for wanting a nanny. But let me clear that up. I don't have have the village like my parents did or like their parents did. Like, my parents aren't going to ra. They live in two different cities and they're not going to raise my kid. My parents are older. You know what I'm saying? So I need the help. And I can't afford daycare and all of that right now. It costs too much.

[Damaris]

Just get my iPad.

[Julian]

True. Can do.

[Rory]

Ms. Rachel can raise your child.

[Damaris]

Ms. Rachel. Raise your kids.

[Julian]

Have a white woman raise your kid.

[Rory]

Let's put Julian on the spot. Let's say girl, a swipe. A swipe. Striper. You know, one of those.

[Julian]

You just say a per. Like a person, a woman.

[Damaris]

Swipe left. Vote right.

[Julian]

Swipe.

[Mall]

All right.

[Rory]

Swipe alt right is hilarious. Let's say one of those just happens to, you know, get pregnant.

[Julian]

I'm gonna tell you what's not gonna happen. They're not gonna get pregnant. That just doesn't not gonna happen.

[Mall]

Your soldiers don't march, nigga.

[Julian]

Nope. Not at all.

[Rory]

Let's just say in this hypothetical world that they do.

[Julian]

Sure.

[Rory]

Then what happens?

[Julian]

It's gone. Do what Demaris is going to do.

[Rory]

It's not your choice.

[Mall]

It's her choice, baby.

[Rory]

She wants to.

[Julian]

In New York, it is.

[Rory]

No.

[Mall]

It's no. It's not your choice.

[Rory]

It's always her choice, no matter what state it is.

[Mall]

You gonna go get Luigi?

[Julian]

Bail Luigi out.

[Rory]

What is he gonna do? He's not up for bail, but.

[Damaris]

Well, he's a plumber, so. I mean.

[Rory]

Yeah, I see where you're in those.

[Damaris]

Fallopians a little bit.

[Julian]

I guess.

[Mall]

You know what's wrong?

[Julian]

No, this is not gonna happen. That's not happening.

[Mall]

If it was to happen, what do you do? You beg her to abort.

[Julian]

I just would. It's just not going to happen.

[Mall]

Okay.

[Julian]

Julian, that baby's not coming out.

[Rory]

Julian.

[Damaris]

You definitely, like, you'll take your kid to play catch every Saturday.

[Julian]

The kid that I want to raise and love. Yeah, of course I'm going to. I think I'd love to be a father.

[Mall]

If you accidentally get a woman pregnant, let's say it happens. You're telling me how you're going to handle that? Like, what, you're going to push her down the stairs?

[Damaris]

If Coffee Break gets pregnant, you keep it.

[Julian]

No coffee date. We don't. Like, there's. Like. We're not in a relationship.

[Damaris]

No. Okay. If she gets. You have sex, you don't keep it.

[Julian]

No.

[Mall]

Even if she wants to.

[Rory]

But if she wants to. That's not your choice.

[Julian]

No.

[Mall]

Julian is effectively telling you that he will murder this woman. And y'all just keep saying.

[Damaris]

That's not what he's saying.

[Mall]

That is what he's saying.

[Julian]

I'll call the Clintons and we will go on. I'll see you all.

[Damaris]

You know a guy to know a guy that.

[Julian]

Call the big guy.

[Damaris]

You like, call the big guy. Wake him up.

[Julian]

Yeah, he's eating.

[Damaris]

He's eating his pudding, but wake him up.

[Rory]

I'm telling you, that big guy is not doing anything.

[Julian]

You're doing a lot of. Don't do that. No, it's not even bring. Nope. All right, next voicemail.

[Rory]

Mal's definitely keeping it.

[Damaris]

If a girl. Yeah, I mean, I don't think I have a choice at this point. I get a girl pregnant now, she definitely keeping that shit for sure.

[Julian]

Of course, you don't know if she's like 22.

[Damaris]

I would not this. Let me tell you something about my loins. And a 22 year old's loins will never meet again in life.

[Julian]

Yeah.

[Rory]

What if you're hanging out with Belichick?

[Julian]

Yeah. What if you're on the sideline of UNC.

[Mall]

What's the youngest you'll date now, Martha? 30. You shouldn't be dating nobody younger than 30.

[Damaris]

Why?

[Mall]

You're 40.

[Damaris]

What that mean?

[Julian]

That's what, 25?

[Damaris]

No.

[Julian]

What? 26?

[Damaris]

Like 28, 29.

[Rory]

Is that the rule? Half your age plus seven.

[Julian]

That's like the street rule.

[Rory]

Who made that up?

[Damaris]

Streets Democrat?

[Julian]

No, it would just be half your age.

[Damaris]

28, 28. Probably younger. 28, 20.

[Rory]

How. How old was a 28 year old? How old were you when a 28 y old born?

[Damaris]

14, 15.

[Julian]

Yeah.

[Rory]

It's kind of crazy.

[Damaris]

Is it?

[Mall]

A little bit.

[Rory]

What would you guys talk about?

[Mall]

Yeah, that's what I'm saying.

[Damaris]

Like, just congratulated Belichick on winning, getting a UNC job. And he's 60, 70 years old and his girl is 24.

[Rory]

Yeah. Congratulate him for him coaching women or men of that age, not dating them.

[Damaris]

Yeah, but you didn't say, oh, God, this.

[Rory]

Yeah, No, I think Belichick is a disgusting, nasty human being for lead with that one, though. I've said that on record on this podcast. What a gross human being that has seven rings, talented at what he does. That guy's gross.

[Damaris]

Yeah, but date.

[Rory]

You should coach people that age. You shouldn't date them.

[Mall]

The reason why I'm saying that, Moss, because You're at the age where you're looking for somebody to. Well, I. Actually, you're not, but I. I like to think that you're looking for somebody to settle down with and have a kid with. I just don't understand why you would have a kid with a 28 year old.

[Damaris]

Who said I would have a kid with a 28y old?

[Mall]

Well, is that not what. You're not dating with intention. You're just dating just to date?

[Damaris]

No, I'm always dating with intention.

[Mall]

Okay, what's the intention?

[Damaris]

To see where it goes. I intend on seeing where this relationship goes. What it, what it grows into.

[Julian]

Rory has a song.

[Damaris]

I'm not meeting a girl and saying I have intentions on getting you pregnant before summer's out.

[Mall]

Not. But we've had that conversation for if you are. If you have the intentions of this is what you want, then you would think that dating with intention would be, okay, this is what I want. Is this person capable of giving me this. I'm going to see if they. That's what I'm dating. I'm dating you to see if you're capable of giving me what I want.

[Damaris]

Yeah.

[Mall]

Okay, so what I'm saying is if your intention is to settle down and have a kid, why would you date a 28? You. You're okay with a 28 year old giving you a kid?

[Damaris]

I mean, why not? Certain 28 year olds I know got they together. Together for real?

[Mall]

Okay, it has nothing to do with that. I know plenty of 20 year olds that have their together together.

[Damaris]

Yeah, but I was just. What's the problem?

[Mall]

Nothing.

[Damaris]

Just because she was. She was. When I was. When she was born, I was 14.

[Mall]

No, I just think that 28 year olds and 42 year olds live a very different life.

[Damaris]

It depends on the 28 year old.

[Rory]

Okay?

[Damaris]

That's what I'm trying to tell you. Some 28 year olds that's have been, you know, home bodies. They don't. They've never been a part of like the quote unquote scene or the industry. Like they don't care about that type of.

[Mall]

That's what I'm saying. I'm like. It has nothing to do with that at all.

[Damaris]

So you said lifestyle.

[Mall]

But eventually. Yeah, as, even as far as eventually, you're not going to be 42, you're going to be 62 and this person will then be in their like, like sexual prime and you'll be 62.

[Damaris]

What that mean?

[Rory]

Whatever Belichick on when I'm 62, she.

[Damaris]

Would be with us 20 years. She would be 48.

[Julian]

Yeah, she way past her prime at that.

[Mall]

Women's sexual prime is in their 40s.

[Rory]

I thought it was in their 30s.

[Mall]

Late 30s, early 40s.

[Damaris]

Sexual prom in their 40s, late 30s. Come on, man, we not can't call prom 40 something. Cut it out, man.

[Mall]

That's when women the horniest their late thirties, early forties. Yes. And women that age, okay, she will be 48.

[Damaris]

That's not early forties.

[Rory]

Thirties and early forties.

[Julian]

Thirties.

[Damaris]

That's not early 40s. 48 is early 50s.

[Rory]

Oh, this yo, who pays for studies? One study showed that women between 27 and 45. Like why even pay someone for a study with that gap?

[Damaris]

They just ask 12 people the whole. Are you great? Are you horny?

[Rory]

30S and early 40s, though.

[Mall]

I'm just saying, I just always felt like, you know, cuz, I don't know, maybe you would want somebody closer to your age so that you guys will be going through the same things around the same time.

[Damaris]

Just because you close in age don't mean you're going through the same thing around the same time.

[Mall]

No, but it does make it more likely.

[Damaris]

No, no, it doesn't.

[Mall]

Okay.

[Damaris]

Not.

[Mall]

Well, when you age, she's still going to be in her prime at the gym, running around like. That's what I'm. That's what I'm saying.

[Damaris]

I don't know about her prime at 48.

[Julian]

In. In the 40s, men's erections become less rigid and they desire sex less often. In.

[Damaris]

In their what?

[Julian]

40S, right. Are you ridged up?

[Damaris]

I guess, I guess it depends on who you're talking to.

[Rory]

What's your ridge level right now?

[Damaris]

Yeah, I don't know, man.

[Julian]

For females, this is the lead up. It's called pre menopause. Typically starts somewhere in the 40s, which is their decline in estrogen, which can lead to.

[Mall]

When I say the same thing around.

[Julian]

The same time, vaginal dryness, which can lead to painful intercourse. Well, that's good. If your dick can't get hard, you don't want to fuck anyway. So you can just dry scissors together with lube.

[Damaris]

No.

[Rory]

Do we have another voice Mo?

[Julian]

Oh, yes, of course. This is the woman that called about finding out her biological dad had passed. She never met him, she was raised by someone else and she was asking us should she go to the funeral of her biological father whom she had never met.

[Rory]

Yep, I remember my favorite pod squad.

[I]

What's good? This is kind of a continuation update story, so I had Hit y'all up about wanting to go to the funeral of the sister of the dad that I didn't even know was possibly my biological dad until ancestry results came back in 2020 about him, possibly my father. Even though my mother at that time, in 2020, it was right before my 40th birthday, she still swore up and down that the person who is still alive, the person who I thought to my dad my whole life is in fact my father, she just 100% always just keeps saying that, whatever. But we dropped it after 2020. We never talked about it again. I did ask that dad to get a paternity test, and he ghosted me like he typically does, right? Fast forward now, four years later, she brings it up again, talking about, my son should get to know his grandfather and he should know his lineage. And I'm like, well, that guy's not even a good dad to me. He's been in and out my whole life. So why would I want that for my son to be in and out of his life? And secondly, that's not his lineage. He's not my biological dad. Then she got into the whole thing of, yes, he is. I'm 100% sure we could bet money on this. I'm telling you right now. We got into a whole thing to the point where I just got the person who she swears is biological dad on the phone and was like, hey, can we please just get this over with? So he did agree, and he did show up. He did not ghost this time. We took a test on Sunday. I will have the results in a few days.

[Damaris]

Oh, my God.

[I]

I'm feeling away about my mother, though. Like, if this thing comes back that this man is really not my biological daddy, she did all of this. I'm going to be very upset, and I don't know how to handle.

[Julian]

She left a part two. But I think that.

[Damaris]

Why do I know who that. I know who who is.

[Julian]

This is her name. Don't say it. But that's the right here.

[Rory]

I don't recognize the voice, but I recognize that voice. That's rough. I don't. I guess we have to wait and see. Like, what do you even tell her now? In the meantime, while she waits? Your family's doing a lot of weird shit. I guess the results will tell. What?

[Damaris]

Yeah, your mom's mom's got. Y'all got to be honest. When y'all was out there, you know, hoeing. Just be honest. Say moms was hot, you know, I was all, you know, all them Wanted me. Some. Some of them had me. That's all.

[Mall]

Some of them had me.

[Damaris]

Some of them had me. A lot of them wanted me, and some of them had me. You know what I'm saying? Moms look good. Back in the day.

[Rory]

Do you think the mom is confident in who the father is or is just as nervous as this just as nervous woman is?

[Mall]

Just nervous.

[Julian]

It's like a Kris Jenner situation.

[Damaris]

Just as nervous, but she seems.

[Rory]

It seems her mother is pretending to be confident.

[Damaris]

Yeah, but that was the same thing with. Didn't we watch Kirk Franklin went through the same thing.

[Mall]

Oh, yeah.

[Damaris]

On his. On his. On his doc, right. And he was mad his mother told him that that was his father. All these years, come to find out that wasn't his father.

[Rory]

And it's rough if, like, mom is a type the way Remy does. Like, and her partners look alike.

[Julian]

Damn.

[Rory]

Then you really don't know.

[Damaris]

If you found out your mom wasn't your real mom and, like, you found your real mom and she was like, say, better off in life than your real mom that you grew up thinking was your mom. Do you, like, abandon your mom that raised you?

[Julian]

No.

[Damaris]

And you go with a mom that owns, like, 17 hotels in Manhattan.

[Mall]

We too old.

[Rory]

I'm gonna get to know her.

[Mall]

Oh, for sure.

[Julian]

I'll take a room.

[Damaris]

We going to develop? No, we have to. I think naturally you develop.

[Rory]

I'm entitled to something here. Developing. The woman that raised me. Of course not.

[Damaris]

Yeah, you develop.

[Julian]

My last name is Hilton.

[Rory]

Unless she treats you like shit when you have a stomach virus and makes you put up a Christmas tree.

[Damaris]

Yeah, that makes it.

[Rory]

You know.

[Damaris]

But if my mom owns 17 Four Seasons, like, my real mom, I think my mom that raised me, I would be like, yo, I mean, I'll come back. I'll visit.

[Rory]

Anyone that was raised by someone that was a good mother, whether it was biological or not, would not abate. Abandon their mom because there was a Hilton involved.

[Julian]

Gerard Carmichael has a great bit about that. When he used to actually do stand up, he said. I think it was his first special. He was talking about, like, my mom asked me, she said, you're never, like, nice to me enough or whatever. And she said, what if it was me and Oprah hanging off a cliff and you could only save one of us? And he was like, well, why would I save you? And she's like, what the fuck? And he's like, what, are you gonna give me another hug? He was like, if I save Oprah, at least I get a fucking iPad. At the minimum.

[Damaris]

A car.

[Rory]

Maybe you get a car just for showing up.

[Julian]

Anything.

[Rory]

Who knows what Sten has on her life.

[Damaris]

She's like, you get a car now for saving my life.

[Rory]

I. I mean, I feel like my mom would save Oprah before me.

[Mall]

Oh, your mom would definitely save Oprah.

[Julian]

Before you give you.

[Rory]

You save Jay Leno in front of me before.

[Damaris]

Yeah.

[Mall]

Me was about to save her.

[Julian]

Save her.

[Mall]

The ho that need to be saved.

[Damaris]

Mom look good. A lot of them all day. All wanted them.

[Julian]

Could you imagine if Rory had like a younger half sibling?

[Mall]

That was Jay Lenos.

[Rory]

Me with a chin.

[Damaris]

Me with a chin is hilarious.

[Rory]

Just a banana clip. Just chilling, right?

[Mall]

You have a chin, but that's why that's so funny. Me with a chin.

[Julian]

Banana clip is hilarious.

[Damaris]

If you're listening now, get your tickets. Well, if they're still remaining.

[Rory]

Yeah.

[Damaris]

Live show Saturday, December 14th. Last one of the year. Gramercy Theater, New York City. Cannot wait to see some of you familiar faces and some new faces.

[Rory]

Mall has some crazy surprises.

[Damaris]

Do I?

[Rory]

Yeah. You said you was going to do that one thing on stage with that one person.

[Damaris]

You said you. And then doing this. You know, that little one thing that you do. You're going to do that tonight.

[Rory]

Yeah.

[Damaris]

Yeah. We're going to have some fun though.

[Julian]

Before we close. This is like a lighter note regarding a CEO. This just happened in New York like a minutes ago as we're recording. The CEO of Enron was pied in the face.

[Mall]

That shit.

[Julian]

Like something off Nickelodeon on his way into a meeting. Which Enron. Yeah.

[Rory]

Which is so crazy. Like Enron was corporation enemy number one when I was in high school. Then we forgot it existed because they just moved on to other corporations.

[Mall]

This got to be fake because. Why? His security cop.

[Julian]

It's an old man that looks like cousin. The man that connected.

[Rory]

Is that Bernie Sanders?

[Damaris]

That is Bernie Sanders.

[Rory]

I'm sure.

[Julian]

Yeah.

[Mall]

That's mad fake.

[Rory]

Because also the CEO of Enron is 21. Like a mean crypto, okay.

[Julian]

Oh, really?

[Rory]

Currency. Got you.

[Mall]

Damn. Gotcha. Gotcha.

[Julian]

Oh, God damn it.

[Damaris]

Damn it. Julian.

[Mall]

Are we going to the last Dreamville Fest as a family?

[Rory]

Did they say this was the last one?

[Julian]

Yeah, they finally said it. Fifth and final.

[Damaris]

They finally said it.

[Rory]

I mean, I know they finally said it. Oh, my God. You guys finally heard that song.

[Mall]

Yeah.

[Julian]

No.

[Rory]

The way the audience was intended to hear it. No, we did not know this was the last Dreamville Fest. And I get it, though. Even though they've been probably one of the More successful ones. She was a nightmare. It's expensive. It's a headache. Good for them. They had an amazing run. Some of my favorite lineups ever. I don't know if I'm gonna go, April.

[Damaris]

Wait, wait, wait. That's the fly.

[Rory]

Spring Ball with Unc, right?

[Damaris]

Yeah.

[Rory]

Maybe we go, we watch Spring Ball with Belichick and then we go to Dreamville Fest.

[Damaris]

I'm not invited.

[Rory]

So we could take a. I'm sure his lovely girlfriend wants to go to Dreamville Fest.

[Damaris]

Belichicks?

[Rory]

Yeah.

[Julian]

Oh, yeah, we could take her.

[Rory]

She probably loves Lil Y or something.

[Julian]

Lil Y. Lily. Yeet.

[Rory]

Yeah. Did they announce a lineup or.

[Julian]

No, no, no, no. This is just pre sale tickets and VIP tier tickets are available now.

[Rory]

You would never. So that means you laugh at these links.

[Mall]

That means that the fall off is coming sometime within the next three months.

[Julian]

Lori tried to paint me as like. You're not clicking this link either.

[Rory]

Of course not. Yeah, but you do it with pride.

[Julian]

No, I just be like, oh, like, cool.

[Rory]

Oh, it's finally available to you guys.

[Damaris]

You guys finally know what's happening next year.

[Julian]

They literally do it the same weekend every year. That's why it's funny, not news.

[Damaris]

I get it. I'm sorry.

[Julian]

The news is that it's ending, I guess.

[Rory]

All right, well, since it's the last one, what's the big hurrah? Predictions. I'm sure you already know.

[Julian]

Sorry, no. No predictions.

[Rory]

Is it Drake, Cole and Kendrick together on one stage?

[Mall]

Please.

[Damaris]

Let me tell you what ain't gonna happen at that Dreamville Festival.

[Mall]

We all know what ain't gonna happen. You don't gotta tell us.

[Damaris]

Look, why you hating. If somebody say something about Dreamville Fest and you caught your own star, you hating?

[Mall]

No, you the hater.

[Julian]

Who is the hate off?

[Rory]

I have a prediction.

[Mall]

What?

[Rory]

I think, since it's coming to a close in the history that they have, I think Jay Z does Dreamville Fest.

[Mall]

Oh, nigga, please. Sorry, sorry.

[Rory]

Why is that a crazy thought?

[Damaris]

Jay Z is not Dreamville Fest.

[Rory]

The first artist ever signed to S. Carter Enterprises was fucking J. Cole.

[Mall]

That does not.

[Rory]

They built Roc Nation off J. Cole's fucking back.

[Damaris]

But that doesn't mean he gives a.

[Mall]

Fuck about any of that. He does not.

[Rory]

I think Jay Z gives a fuck about J. Cole and his journey.

[Mall]

I didn't say that. You're not gonna piss me off. I start yelling, I'm not gonna do that. I don't think that.

[Rory]

You don't think it's crazy that Jay Z would Go to Dreamville Fest for the last one after.

[Mall]

I think that he's another.

[Rory]

He's another arm of Jay Z's legacy. Like.

[Julian]

Yes.

[Mall]

I don't think that Jay Z is doing that. Jay Z. When's the last time you've seen Jay Z perform?

[Rory]

Exactly. This would be a Reasonville Fest. Jay Z only does things that would make sense to him at this point in his life. This is something. This is his legacy.

[Mall]

Okay. Does. Has Jay Z ever done anything like that? Like that before?

[Damaris]

A. A festival?

[Mall]

No, not a festival. Not a festival for him. I'm talking about go and perform on some. When's the last time Jay Z did a festival?

[Julian]

Did he do something in the water?

[Rory]

No, I don't think so.

[Mall]

No.

[Rory]

Yeah, I don't remember that. But that's not. That was. That was the diddler. Wasn't puff on the actual build, though.

[Julian]

Yeah's last festival set was the 2017 Made in America. God damn.

[Mall]

Which is his own festival.

[Julian]

Damn. That was the last time he did a festival.

[Rory]

So. Okay. If there was, Jay wouldn't even do.

[Mall]

Made in America to. To save it. You think he's coming out a dream?

[Damaris]

Y'all know who's doing the last one? Kendrick is going to be there.

[Mall]

Yeah, I'm not mad at that, Predi. That would make sense.

[Julian]

Yeah.

[Damaris]

I mean, that's. That's obvious.

[Mall]

I don't think it's obvious.

[Damaris]

But why wouldn't he be the last one?

[Julian]

When is that Kendrick tour?

[Damaris]

The Kendrick tour is.

[Rory]

I think it's. I think it's in North Carolina. Conveniently the exact same weekend.

[Julian]

May.

[Mall]

No, he comes to Charlotte a month later.

[Julian]

The tour starts shortly after Dreamville Fest. The tour starts April 19th. Dreamville Fest is the 5th and 6th.

[Damaris]

The tour starts April 19th.

[Mall]

He's not opening his. Yeah, he's not opening his tour with Dreamville Fest. I don't see that happening either.

[Damaris]

So all those other dates before April was what?

[Julian]

These are just near me, near us. They always do it by location. But the official.

[Rory]

He might be knee deep in rehearsals at that time, though. Yeah, I could see him maybe popping up, but to be on the bill, I think that's kind of a stretch.

[Mall]

I don't think he'll be on the.

[Rory]

Bill, but I could be wrong.

[Julian]

I don't know. Maybe they get the two for one. They book him and Sza.

[Rory]

Sza just did last year, right?

[Mall]

No, she did a year before, I think.

[Julian]

Okay, but they'll. I mean, I'm saying regardless, like, they'll be on Road together. And. And if they're starting on the 19th and they want to get a little warmup run in.

[Mall]

I don't. I don't.

[Rory]

I think. All right, maybe it's far fetched to say Jay Z will be billed. I don't think it's crazy to say Jay Z will come out at the last Dream Build Fest. That's all I'm saying.

[Mall]

Okay.

[Rory]

Oh, Jay Z did come out at.

[Julian]

Something in the water, but he didn't perform.

[Rory]

No, I'm not saying Jay is. It's not going to be Jay Z and friends or the Blueprint anniversary. I think Jay Z will pop up at Dreamville Fest. That's all.

[Mall]

Okay, so that makes sense.

[Damaris]

Juicing.

[Mall]

If you're saying for sure.

[Julian]

You said it as if you'd be Bill.

[Mall]

Yeah, that's why I'm like, no.

[Rory]

Like, oh, no, I don't think Jay Z.

[Julian]

What Peach said is right.

[Damaris]

Yeah.

[Julian]

Jay Z did come out to do fronting at something in the water festival.

[Mall]

Okay. That I'm not mad at. But Jay Z's just being on the bill. That is so we can agree.

[Damaris]

Jay Z is not being billed.

[Rory]

No.

[Damaris]

Probably ever again in his life.

[Mall]

Yeah. I don't even think his own Live Nation is involved.

[Julian]

That Pharrell festival he did that for was in 2019.

[Rory]

All right, so predictions for headliners. I don't think it'd be Kendrick just because of his schedule.

[Mall]

JCole is going to be the headliner every year.

[Rory]

He is, but not always. Another J. Cole is the headliner every year, plus someone else.

[Julian]

Yeah. There's always another one every single year.

[Rory]

J. Cole and Dreamtail Festival. Every single year.

[Mall]

J. Cole last year, I didn't see him. I didn't know he performed a year before. I didn't know that.

[Damaris]

Yeah. Every year.

[Julian]

Yeah.

[Mall]

Okay. Tyler. Tyler perform every year at his best festival.

[Julian]

Yeah. Yeah, yeah.

[Mall]

Oh, shit.

[Julian]

Tyler might be 2023. Was. This was. This was the one. This was the peak. Usher on Saturday. Saturday, Sunday was Cole and Drake and then Burn a Boy as well. I mean, it doesn't really. I think that was the first one when it was just Dreamville.

[Rory]

That's what's kind of crazy with this era. Like, how many more headliners are left?

[Mall]

Yeah.

[Rory]

Dreamville has had some of the best lineups ever. Who has left?

[Mall]

Citizens.

[Rory]

They fucking Usher on skates. Like, what can you do after that?

[Julian]

Which was kind of like, I don't feel like this isn't too much information. Like, that was kind of the conversation is like, where do we Go from here. Like we've done. We did the peak four years in. Honestly, three years in. That 2023. One was like the plateau. Like, where can we go from Usher to Drake to Burn a Boy. Like, where do we go from here?

[Rory]

If it makes sense.

[Mall]

With Tyler.

[Julian]

Yeah.

[Rory]

His schedule. I don't know what his tour schedule.

[Mall]

Is, but it would have to be Tyler.

[Rory]

They've had everyone. I guess it just leaves Hove.

[Julian]

24 was. Oh, shit. That was. Damn.

[Rory]

I could see Nas being a co headliner with someone else.

[Mall]

Okay.

[Rory]

I could see Nas this year or Sorry, next year. I think that would be kind of cool. They had fucking DJ drama with. With Jeezy Wayne and T.I. like, just over here. Like, that wasn't even a headliner. That was on like one side stage together.

[Damaris]

But it is. It is funny because it's literally who else is out there that would headline?

[Julian]

There's so few artists that are at that level.

[Damaris]

It's crazy, man. It's a shortage of headliners for sure.

[Rory]

Taylor Swift, she was smoking.

[Mall]

I don't know if that's her demo.

[Rory]

Yeah, everyone is her.

[Mall]

Jelly roll.

[Damaris]

Jelly Roll.

[Mall]

Yeah, it sucks.

[Rory]

But they had 50 already too, right?

[Julian]

Yeah, that was last year. Oh, my God, that was great. Who do you have that was such a good Beyonce?

[Mall]

I don't see it.

[Rory]

I don't see it either.

[Damaris]

Beyonce.

[Mall]

I think after.

[Damaris]

Beyonce's name is not being built.

[Mall]

I think after. I think after all of this, they.

[Rory]

Don'T have the plumbing. Like, I don't even know. City could handle the weight.

[Damaris]

They don't have. Yeah, they don't. They don't have enough land.

[Mall]

They don't have the bones.

[Damaris]

Yeah. Beyonce. To be out there on the festival.

[Mall]

I think Jay and Beyonce are going to disappear for a while after. I think they're tired of you niggas. Not y'all in this room. But I think they're tired of. They've been very out there this past, you know, even showing Blue, even allowing Blue to be on stage and all. I think they're about to go on and be like, you know what? This.

[Rory]

I think Beyonce's about to come back with a rock album on R and B album pretty soon in 2025.

[Mall]

Yeah, but I don't think that she's going to tour it. I don't think. I think she's going to drop the album. No visuals. Yeah, I think. Yeah.

[Damaris]

You don't think.

[Rory]

I think we get a whole album in 2025, and I think we get a Beyonce album in 2025.

[Damaris]

A J album.

[Mall]

Nick, I don't think we in a J album. I think we've gotten our last J album.

[Julian]

Would they do them separately or would you? Okay, I think, I guess cuz Beyonce has this whole thing.

[Rory]

Beyonce has to finish the the last of this series, which I think is either rock or R and B. I hope to God it's neo soul, but my guess is going to be rock or R and B. And I think we get a Jay Z album. I don't think it'll be anywhere like fourth quarter, maybe fall of 2025, but I think we get a Jay Z album. I do. I think y'all pissed him off. Thank God for this bum ass lawyer. Go piss my goat off so he can rap again.

[Julian]

That's right.

[Damaris]

All right, well, we'll have to wait and see. Somebody was right and somebody was wrong.

[Mall]

Yeah, let's. Let's keep this. Let's keep these predictions. Let's put them up on the wall and see.

[Rory]

Yeah, absolutely.

[Julian]

That was his name.

[Damaris]

All right, well, we'll talk to y'all soon. Be safe, be blessed. Have a safe weekend. I'm that he's just Ginger P. Just sick.

[Mall]

No worrying Mouth.

[Unknown]

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