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Rory
No worry and now see now you.
Mal
Know who the God be back when.
Rory
In the city and you know who.
Mal
The squad be Flip mode, look, see, ain't nothing changed no, I'm back with the remix with the Queens of the game when you see me in the spot, you better respect it Y'all already knowing my web Ain't no reason to.
Damaris
Check it and y'all know that you.
Rory
Ain'T with me Just for the record.
Mal
Superstate on my left.
Rory
We are back. Top of the week, middle of December. Holiday season.
Mal
Holiday season.
Rory
The cheer is around. Walked in today and Peach was listening to Frank Sinatra's best Christmas album or whatever. I was in the spirit. I almost lit a fire just in the middle of nothing like a studio drink.
Mal
Sinatra to get you in the holiday, holiday mood. Thank you for that.
Damaris
Thought I heard some child drums on that record.
Rory
I mean, you know, I think so. Ahead of his time.
Mal
Some of them in there.
Rory
Frank. Frank's son can confirm.
Mal
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Rory
Frank Sinatra Jr Jr but that's why I enjoy getting here early with Peach, because him and I both love holiday spirit. Like, we're the only two that like Thanksgiving in this room. Like, we just like white holiday shit. So. I love that he's DJing.
Mal
You think that it's. Y'all are only. So what do you think?
Rory
The coincidence that you and we're celebrating.
Mal
Love American Savior Jesus Christ for some reason, you and Peach are the only ones that loved American holidays.
Rory
Listen, a son was born in Bethlehem.
Mal
Yeah, I get it. I understand. Thank you guys for bringing the Caucasodian energy into the workplace.
Rory
You're welcome.
Mal
Thank you. Appreciate.
Rory
In the Middle East.
Mal
Yes, yes.
Rory
White eyes, blonde hair. It was beautiful.
Mal
Beautiful time. What a time.
Rory
Shepherds came.
Mal
Exactly.
Rory
You know, they were denied. They were denied a hotel room because, you know, racism.
Mal
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Rory
We had a rough man.
Mal
I get it.
Rory
Look what they did to our Lord.
Mal
I empathize with you.
Rory
But thank God we all know it is a fact Jesus Christ was born on December 25. So I love to celebrate that by, you know, black looking at us, buying presents. Yeah. Materialism.
Mal
Yes.
Rory
You know, because the shepherds brought a gift. So now let's all go straight into corporate America. But anyways, I took Amara to go see Santa yesterday.
Mal
Was she scared? Did she cry?
Rory
She was cool. Like, she was patient in the line. Which, by the way, it's just when you have a kid, they just fold you right in to the sheep. Like, I'm just part of the herd now.
Mal
Yeah.
Rory
Why am I Waiting an hour to go take a photo with some guy that my daughter doesn't even want to.
Damaris
A local drunk.
Rory
Like, what am I doing? Why do I feel like I need to do this type of stuff? Yeah, she was cool in line, and then the moment we got right up to Santa, she just started losing her shit. Like every kid in front of us.
Mal
Yeah, that's what's supposed to happen. Who is she?
Rory
This weird fucking man screaming. The photos came out hilarious. Yeah, because she's just yelling at the top of her lungs. So it was kind of worth it. Like, once I got the prince, I was like, no, it's hilarious.
Mal
This is great.
Damaris
This is still traditional white Santa. Or they like try to throw in a.
Mal
Okay, Santa had dreads.
Damaris
I do these days. I don't know. There's anything Santa. They don't even call them. It's just they.
Mal
Yeah, it's a.
Rory
It's a.
Mal
We don't know if Santa identified as a black man or not.
Rory
It's a weird job if you think about it. I'm not even going to go down the path. You guys think I'm going to go as far as a guy that dresses up like Santa Claus and as kids sit on his lap?
Damaris
So they got you.
Rory
It's just a really odd. No, I was much easier than that. No presents were given. Just the. Just the present of trauma. I just like, you have to be a weird guy to want to be that Santa. Like all kids do is scream in your face for hours on end in a mall. Like you would want. Like, how much money would it probably get?
Damaris
Like 4 or 500 bucks.
Rory
Is that worth it?
Damaris
I would imagine it's like a gas.
Rory
You're gonna be sick no matter what.
Mal
Yeah.
Rory
He even, like, I could tell he was just running out of things to say to the kid because Amara had a chicken finger in her hand. He's like, you brought me lunch. I was like, relax. Come on, let's. Let's be professional here. Just ask what the she wants for. For Christmas.
Mal
Take the picture. Let's get out of here.
Rory
Let's. Come on. I've been in line for an hour. It's across from lids.
Mal
It's worth it, though, to get that picture of your daughter crying like that, to show her as she gets older. Like, that's worth it, you know?
Rory
And then we went to Cheesecake Factory. It was a perfect white, middle aged December experience.
Mal
That's a Sunday for you right there.
Rory
Absolutely.
Mal
Yeah.
Rory
I had a latte.
Mal
Yeah, that's a Sunday. That's a dad. Sunday, right there.
Rory
Oh, yeah, Sunday. Some Cajun pasta.
Mal
Yeah.
Rory
At 11am it was a rough Sunday, to say the least.
Damaris
Hugging the porcelain again after that.
Rory
But it was. It was still fun. We had a show on Saturday night.
Mal
We did. Thank you to everybody that came out to the last show of 2024 at Grame Theater in New York City. Had a great time, saw some familiar faces.
Rory
Yes, A lot of people from Patreon, Discord. That was fun. Yes, Meet and greet was fun. Per usual.
Mal
Yes.
Rory
It popped off a little weird. I was kind of nervous. The first person that started the meet and greet, I felt like, crossed the line a little bit.
Mal
A little.
Rory
I was trying to play.
Mal
He don't know how close he came.
Rory
Because, you know, I don't play about you and what happened. This guy, you could tell he was nervous and probably had been drinking a little bit.
Mal
Yeah, he was cool. He was a little drunk, a little awkward, you know. You know how that goes.
Rory
Full conversation was cool. Y'all, let's take some photos, whatever. Regular meet and greet stuff. And then as he's leaving, say, oh, there was one thing that I, like, meant to tell you, Ma. You have, like, the knees Awards.
Mal
No, he said. He said he was. He said he was gonna bring me a plaque. And I was like. He said he forgot he was gonna bring me a gift. I was like, oh, okay. Tried to bait you. I was like. I was like. He was like, yeah, it was a plaque. I was like, plaque. I was like, for. Who gives me a plaque? A plaque for what? He says strongest knees award. Something about the whole Drake.
Damaris
Yeah, no, I get lazy. Shit. That's a good joke.
Mal
So I looked at him and I was like. In that moment, I was like, oh, I'm a mature older guy now.
Damaris
If he just gave you a pair of knees.
Mal
Cause five years ago, I would have slapped this dude at the meet and greet. You know what I'm saying? I was like, oh. So I looked at him. I was like, thanks, man. You know what I mean?
Julian
You handled that well.
Mal
Thanks, man. Five years ago. Oh, my God. Rory would have been mad.
Rory
No, he would've dragged me back to the dressing room. No, I would have joined now, not five years ago. I felt all the Irish rage in me immediately. Then I saw you take it in stride. So I was like, he didn't say it to me. I can't be the guy that now gets upset. If mall's fine with it, then it.
Mal
I take it all in stride, man.
Rory
But other than that, the show was Great. Damaris's ex girlfriend was front row.
Julian
Taylor.
Rory
Taylor.
Mal
Shout out to Taylor, man had had.
Rory
The tight jeans on with the straps.
Mal
He was strapped ready. She had the strap ready.
Damaris
Was it rigid?
Mal
It was rigged. It was rigged for her pleasure. Yes.
Julian
Okay.
Rory
But yeah, it was a lot of the familiar faces in the front row. So it was like, you know, we do this every December.
Mal
All the girls from Discord that hate me were.
Damaris
There was Matthew, you got to stop.
Julian
Saying that they hate you. Just cuz they critique you. They.
Mal
They told me they hate me to my face.
Damaris
They do say that, Tom.
Rory
They like, I even went on space.
Mal
One of them told me I support all kind of. I was like, that's great seeing.
Rory
Where. Where was I during that?
Mal
In the spaces. Who.
Rory
Wait, what do you support? Trump? Oh, well, yeah, that checks out. Never mind. She has a point.
Mal
He's a.
Rory
It does check out. She.
Damaris
All right, stop moving forward.
Rory
So we. We've been doing this segment, I think like the last three or four shows where we try to find like the youngest person in the crowd in place, like quick snippets of songs from that city.
Mal
Yeah.
Rory
See like the history of. Of music. It always turns out to be a very, very fun segment because young people don't know. And per usual, just like in Atlanta, we found the one young kid that came with his parent, Michael, who was amazing, came on stage. I talked to Michael in spaces last night. He gave me more info that had we fucking known that the whole show would have went different. So Michael was there with his mom and his mom. We kept asking, like, yo, there's a guy in between you and your mom. Like, are you gonna acknowledge. Is that your dad?
Mal
Yeah.
Rory
No, no, no. Just ignored it. But we pushed forward. He didn't even know his mom was going to the show. That is her new boyfriend that she just met. He's a fan of the show. So he brought her on a date and he visited his mom that day and was like, yo, I'm out, like, about to go to the city. She's like, what are you gonna do? Like, go on new Rory Mole show? She's like, me too.
Damaris
Oh, wow.
Rory
That was his first time meeting her new boyfriend in the crowd.
Julian
Oh my God.
Rory
When they sat down. Had I known that mom and date would have came on fucking stage immediately.
Damaris
That's crazy.
Mal
Oh, no, we gotta. Next week, Gramercy Theater. We're back. We gotta finish that. Are you kidding me?
Rory
Yeah, so he. He went to the show by himself. He's just a fan, whatever. And I guess Mom's new boyfriend is a huge fan, too. When he was like, yo, I got these tickets, like, you know, plenty of guys bring a girl drag that doesn't even listen to the show.
Mal
Yeah.
Rory
And it happened to be his mom.
Mal
Look at us crossing demos. So we got the mother, her new boyfriend, and the son, see? And they say, we don't touch.
Julian
Wow. Now they got something to bond over.
Rory
I thought it was weird too. Like, if I would have.
Mal
And I did say. I was like, yo, who is that? Because I remember saying, like, well, who is that? Because where he was sitting. And then he was like, nah, that's my mom. I'm like, okay, there's a black man sitting right next to your mother. Like, who is this guy?
Rory
And now, in retrospect, do you see why he just quickly got off that topic?
Mal
Yes.
Rory
Because he had just met. He didn't even know that gentleman's name.
Mal
Yeah, yeah. No, it's. Holy damn. I wish we would have known that on stage.
Rory
Yeah, but that was funny. He was great. He didn't know one fucking song from New York.
Mal
No, the craziest part, about 24. He was 24 years old. So that. That is the craziest part. That his mother was there on a date with a new boyfriend for the first time, and they all ended up going to the show. But he's from Marcy Projects, Right? He's from Brooklyn. Marcy Projects. We asked him who his favorite rap is. He's from Marcy Projects.
Damaris
He's gonna say Jay Z.
Mal
He said, bust the rhyme.
Damaris
He's 24.
Rory
Oh, okay. But he said Busta.
Damaris
That's weird. That's weird.
Mal
Busta.
Rory
If he would have said, like, rowdy, I'd have been like, all right, you're 24.
Mal
I get it. But like, one of the drillers, I'd have like, all right, cool.
Rory
He looks like a little rock fan.
Damaris
See, this is why I don't believe. I don't believe when kids say stuff like that. I really.
Julian
No, because he could have just said Jay Z. Could have just said J.
Mal
She's from Marcy Project.
Rory
After he got shamed by the whole crowd, he was like, no, it's Jay Z, I promise.
Mal
What? You from Marcy Projects and you say your favorite rap is Bust Around? First of all, to be 24 years old and say your favorite rap is Bust around, you're lying. It's crazy.
Julian
I don't think he's lying, cuz that's not a lie. You would come up with. I don't Think he's lying?
Mal
No. What happened was he just thought about the first. He said that. He said. He said that was the first name.
Damaris
That you're trying to play to the crowd.
Mal
That's what he said. He said that was the first name that popped in his mind was Busta Rhymes.
Rory
And the only.
Mal
And I looked at him like, what? Who says Busta Rhymes, like, is their favorite rapper? I've never heard.
Rory
Nobody heard the look at Me Now.
Damaris
3 Busta Rhymes songs. He would have folded Look At Me Now.
Rory
That would be his only.
Damaris
That was it. He would have literally said look at me now.
Mal
Yo, I'm. Have we ever. We've talked about hip hop for years. Have we ever heard anybody say Busta Rhymes is their favorite rapper ever? And Bust is a legend. Probably.
Rory
He deserves more credit. We do underrate.
Mal
No, we know Bust is a legend, but I'm just saying, has anybody ever said he's my favorite rapper? Rapper?
Rory
No, not.
Mal
I've never heard. That was so like, that literally was the first time I ever heard that.
Rory
Yeah, because sometimes you get like weirdness, like hipster. Somebody went up there was like, yo, I love quality. Which is cool. I get it. I've heard that before. I've heard that Buster is kind of an interesting favorite and.
Mal
And to be 24 years old and say that. That's why I was like, really? Like what?
Rory
He was probably Playboy Cardi. He just didn't know what to say.
Mal
He could have said Playboy. That's my point. He could have just said Playboy Cardi.
Rory
And then we started out with Dipset Anthem as like the first snippet. He didn't know what it was.
Mal
His mother did though.
Rory
Yes, she definitely did.
Mal
His mom knew the Dipset Anthem. Then we played Black Rob. Whoa. I think.
Rory
Yeah, but what.
Mal
I was yelling whoa. On the hook. She was like, whoa. Looking at him. You don't notice.
Damaris
Yo, to a 24 year old kid.
Rory
That'S such an iconic song.
Damaris
He is 24.
Mal
He said bust a table.
Damaris
He wouldn't know.
Julian
Whoa.
Rory
Whoa.
Mal
See, Damaris had a bad bitch of town. She was. Whoa.
Rory
Yeah. Like just when the chords.
Julian
I just didn't know who. I didn't know who did this song. I know the song.
Rory
Just cuz you're 24 doesn't give you an excuse to not know.
Mal
Whoa.
Rory
Like if somebody played me DDP Bridges over. I'm wasn't even born, but I would know it. Like it's a iconic song.
Mal
Listen, he said Buster was his favorite rap at that point. He set himself up I would be surprised at anything. I'm thinking this guy is a hip hop historian at this point.
Julian
Hip hop historian.
Mal
He is to say Buster.
Julian
Is Buster from New York.
Mal
He from Brooklyn.
Julian
Yeah, he.
Rory
Michael was great, though. He was a good sport through all of it. I was really shaming Taylor. We played Dipset Anthem, and everyone just shamed Michael for not knowing it. And then we thought Taylor had fucked mad bitches to Dipset Anthem. Yeah, we put the mic in Taylor's face. She didn't even know Dipset Anthem.
Damaris
She put it down her pants.
Mal
She thought it was a dildo. Thought it was a new strap. Thank you.
Rory
Here all day to DP Knight, but the show was great. Shout out to Bree Steve. Shout out to Rome Streets Derringer. Yeah, they performed, which went great, because sometimes it's awkward. I feel like with performers at live podcasts, it, like, actually worked. Yeah, I was. I was a little nervous because, you know, our. Our listeners are weird sometimes with energy.
Mal
No, it was good.
Rory
They can be assholes.
Mal
Yeah, it was good. Shout out to Rome Streets Derringer. Shout out to Derek Gaines. Funny. Derek Gaines. We got to have him back on.
Rory
Yeah, Derek.
Mal
We got to have. We got to shoot an episode with Derek Gaines, one of the comedians that I watched coming up in the city on the comedy scene. So it was good to see him at the. At the show that night as well. And you gone home on my guy Hawk.
Rory
Yes. Shout out to instruments. It was. It was a multimedia experience.
Mal
Yeah. Yeah. Had a good night. Had a really good night, man. Thank you for everybody that came out. Good to see y'all again once again this time of year. We'll see y'all soon.
Rory
Yeah, it was one of those. The December New York shows. I always have, like, actual fun. We have great shows that are fun, but I had, like, a really good time the entire time. Couples. We didn't break anyone up. It was a lot of love in the building. It was just a cool night.
Mal
It was a good night, man.
Rory
And, I mean, we were getting the hangover after because we were in the same green room as Cole.
Mal
Yeah.
Julian
Yo, the night like you did, you.
Rory
See, I could smell his cologne.
Damaris
Rory went through the trash.
Mal
Yo, shut. Shut up, man. Shut. Just shut up. Don't say that. Just shut up. You didn't smell his cologne?
Rory
I walked in the green room when I got there, and P was already there, and I was like, can you believe we're standing in the same place that JCole was 12 hours ago?
Mal
I'm so glad I wasn't there for that conversation.
Rory
Gramercy was playing nothing but Cole when we got there. For real. Obviously on repeat. And I. I mean, I wasn't mad at it, but I was like, you guys. All right, I get it. I get it. He was here and they were just disappointed with us.
Mal
So what was it?
Rory
The whole. The whole change between what they did with Cole the night before and then me and Peach trying to get soundcheck together. That front of house guy was probably one of the biggest.
Damaris
Like the come down off of Molly.
Rory
Like we asked just for like an auxiliary course. Like, it's like, all right, man. Cole was here yesterday and we're just a bunch of idiots. With microphone.
Damaris
I understand he wanted to do a. Basically a warm up show because the last time he touched a stage was at Dreamville Fest. So he just wanted to like get.
Mal
That's not true.
Damaris
Chops back.
Mal
Did he perform a Boss after that?
Damaris
Yeah, but like a full set. Oh, he did like two or three songs with boss at the. But yeah, the. He wanted to just do.
Mal
Wanted to remember how to rap.
Damaris
Make a fan moment out of it too. It was like 600 people there.
Rory
I think that was really cool that that dream did that. That's a cool fan experience to watch. Like a rehearsal the day before. I thought that was a really good idea.
Damaris
Yeah, I would have gone to that. I fell asleep.
Julian
I was just mad Gramercy, like, didn't like let y'all know that that was gonna happen.
Rory
I should have showed up like, damn the wrong night. But I'm here.
Julian
Yeah.
Mal
Where's. No.
Rory
Where's my credentials? I wanted to do a walkthrough tonight.
Julian
Showed up to come.
Mal
The funny part is we were supposed.
Rory
To have a show on that 13th. Yeah.
Mal
That's the funny thing you can say.
Damaris
You're welcome to Cool.
Rory
Well, no, Cole did that despite Maul. I know what happened. Oh, I didn't tell them all that. The behind the scenes shit.
Mal
Yeah, he did a rehearsal show at the spot where we was. Okay. Yeah.
Rory
Pushed us to the 14th.
Mal
Yeah. Pushed us. No, we had that. That was booked way before the battle started.
Rory
Maybe it was for Cole too. 10 year anniversary. Maybe he booked it nine years ago. You don't even know. Thinking ahead.
Mal
Foresight. Foresight. Yeah, I get it.
Rory
But we will get our dream villains out of here as quick as possibly can. They have a huge night tonight. We are recording this on Monday. Julian and Damaris. Damaris is grabbing her titties.
Damaris
Doing that to love.
Rory
To love yours.
Julian
You love hip hop.
Mal
Oh, my God, I promise.
Rory
She said pervy line, but Big. Big was young, so I guess he gets a pass. Grab your titties if you love hip hop.
Mal
Telling you, man, I'm just. I hope you guys have a great time tonight. That's all.
Julian
Why are you like, damn, like, why.
Damaris
You say it in that tone?
Rory
It kind of sound like everybody get jumped.
Mal
What tone do you want me to say then? I hope you guys have a great time tonight. I hope you enjoy the show. I hope Cole does great. I hope all of his fans have a wonderful moment tonight together in the same room and love hip hop. All right, just let him know I don't give a fuck what he doing.
Rory
It's celebrating a classic album. 10 years.
Damaris
Great.
Rory
It'll be a great night.
Mal
Great album.
Rory
Damaris was late today because she was holding court at Irving Plaza for all the Cole fans. Like, oh, y'all don't have tickets yet? Lol. But let's talk about Cole.
Damaris
The American Lives I thought was like rude.
Mal
At Urban Plaza.
Rory
Yeah, they did the first, you know, the dollar in a dream thing. They announced a location to pick up your dollar.
Mal
That was today?
Damaris
Yeah, 2014. Tickets were available today for a dollar at Irving Plaza.
Mal
The marriage was online.
Julian
No, no.
Damaris
She went to taunt the line.
Rory
She. Yeah, she was laughing like.
Julian
I did not.
Damaris
Said, look at you, brokies.
Julian
I did not. I was home.
Rory
Started quick, but I would have been.
Julian
Out there if I didn't have my plus one ticket. I would have been out there in the rain dancing with the fans.
Rory
But it has to be.
Mal
I should have went, man, and just played like Drake.
Julian
Never mind played the sidewalk.
Mal
No, I should have just walked by just like with a speaker and just played like.
Damaris
What would you have played?
Mal
The apology speech. It's like playing the Dr. King. I had a dream, right?
Rory
Yeah. No, it's definitely the same exact thing.
Mal
Yeah.
Rory
Just let it go, man.
Julian
Look how fun that looks.
Mal
That looks so fun. I'm sure everybody snores like a wet dog.
Rory
I'm sure people have like minded conversations in line. And how long can it really take, though? If you're giving a dollar and getting a wristband, it's got to move quick, right? Yeah, I don't think that.
Julian
But they were out there because. Well, this is the thing. Because if you have the inevitable site and you paid for all of that stuff, you have the inevitable chat. Those Die hard Cole fans guessed where that was way before it was announced. So there were people that were out there since like 8:00 in the morning Eve announced at 9, 10. And the tickets didn't go on sale till 10:00.
Rory
Yeah.
Julian
So if you're the 500th person in line at 8:00am, like, you're going to be out there until like probably like 11 o'clock getting those tickets.
Rory
Listen, they were nice because when we were talking about this, y'all were predicting St. John's that would have been a fucking nightmare for everyone to go all the way out there.
Julian
Yeah, I mean, awful.
Rory
Those buses would have been fucking packed. But I mean, I'm sure a lot of people would have came up robbing some suburban kids.
Julian
Yeah, I definitely. I was going. I was going with like, I was gonna rob somebody for them cold tickets if I didn't get some. And I'm not saying facetiously, I'm dead.
Rory
Ass with scissors and just cutting people's wristbands off. That would be hilarious.
Julian
Dead the ass. I was, I was, I was on that type of time. I was not missing this show.
Rory
Well, what. What's. What Are you guys excited to see what record what cut some of the deep cuts?
Julian
We told you already. We told you on the Patreon. Shout out to the Patreon if you haven't seen it go.
Damaris
Really good episode today by what came out yesterday, if you're listening.
Julian
But yeah, get off my dick too.
Damaris
I'm more excited for the after party, to be honest. But you know, you know how I do them all photo ops.
Julian
You gotta do a line. It's cold.
Damaris
A line. You think I'm just gonna do coke because of coal? Why would I do coke because of J. Cole?
Julian
Coke Cole.
Rory
Oh, yeah.
Julian
It's not KL. They next to each other in the Alphabet.
Rory
10 years you've been sober for not.
Damaris
10 years, not even close.
Rory
Would you want to achieve that?
Mal
Well, a dollar from a dollar dream. You use to roll up and got a point and do a rail.
Rory
And you didn't have to pay a dollar, so you have a dollar now.
Mal
There you go, There you go. 2014 tickets. Everybody had to do a bump when they went.
Damaris
That's like saying, smoke a dart. A dart in a rail. That's my version of dollar.
Rory
Sort of dart.
Damaris
A dart and a rail. Just cripple your life.
Mal
A dollar and a rail.
Rory
That's how you get into the weekend show.
Mal
That's how you go see Abel. Oh, he's going to see Abel tonight.
Damaris
A dollar in a ring.
Rory
If I. I'm gonna pay for the. The stream because I do want to see the show if I can Stay up are mall and I like. Welcome to the after party.
Mal
Yeah.
Damaris
I'm gonna ask you, do you think you should go to the after party?
Rory
Well, I gave my thoughts on Patreon, why I'm not going tonight. Which you can subscribe, but why I don't. I could blend in at the after party.
Damaris
Come pause. Like, you can come.
Julian
Don't come.
Rory
Why not? I've seen all those guys since it's still love.
Julian
I was just.
Rory
I just. I didn't want to, you know, be at the show and ruin. Ruin the moment with my mall energy.
Julian
What I feel like you could definitely still come to the after party. Don't come with us, but like, come on your own.
Rory
Y'all own the pod too, though, so I don't understand, like, why that if.
Damaris
You'Re exempt, ignore Rory if we're there? That'd be weird.
Julian
I put my job on the line defending Cole this year, okay? They can't say nothing to me.
Rory
Wait, your job on the. You think we would fire you because you like jcole?
Julian
I was cussing scream. I was screaming at Maul over Cole. Like, I was.
Rory
You think Mullen had like a. A emergency conference like, yo, let's get on Zoom.
Damaris
Damaris has gone too far.
Rory
He's really into an elite rapper and it's odd. Nah, I was on the line for.
Julian
My job on the line over this cold shit. Now I chose size.
Rory
Well, I will say I know Maul has critiques. I have felt since post battle. Once the dust settled. Cole's team has been killing this rollout with the podcast with this 10 year anniversary show, all the stuff they're doing for fans, I think it's been great. I'm excited to see the show. I don't think he brings anyone out. I'd like to see him bring like 50 or someone out, but I think he may go double platinum. No features and just.
Julian
Yeah.
Rory
Does he bring Boss out?
Damaris
No, No, I don't think. I don't think anyone's go. I think Boss is doing some live stream thing for the show tonight. Oh, yesterday, if you're listening. At least that's what he said last we spoke, but yeah.
Rory
Gotcha.
Damaris
I don't know.
Mal
So Boss is not gonna be there?
Damaris
No, we'll all be there. I just think he's gonna be in charge of some like, live stream component.
Mal
Oh, I'm gonna say Boss ain't gonna be there.
Damaris
Like if on behalf of Dreamville, it's like Boss's live stream or something like that. I don't know.
Julian
Oh, that'll be cool. Shout out to Perspective.
Damaris
More or less. Yeah, that's cool.
Rory
Some commentary.
Mal
Shout out to Cole, shout out to Eve. Shout out the whole Dreamville team. That's a big night for them, man. Selling out the garden.
Rory
Yeah.
Mal
Anytime a rapper could do that, that's. That's always big. So shout out to them.
Julian
Speaking of the redemption of the Jays, Redempt.
Rory
All right.
Julian
See, that was. Come on. Segue. Come on.
Rory
Also, by the way, before we get off J. Cole and go to Jay Z, I don't think my take, even looking at the comments, I don't think my take of Jay Z going to Dreamville Fest as a popup is really as crazy as you guys made me seem. I think that's duel and come on, he doesn't. What'd he say? We don't go for victory. We come from victory. Damn, he is so bored. He just, he wants to rap. I don't understand why he doesn't go in the booth. Every response he's had to this allegation has been nothing but reasonable doubt level bars.
Julian
I think he doesn't think know if he can top his previous works. Maybe that's a thought. Like, what can I say that's so new or so refreshing. Like, what if I don't top it? I think that every artist who's had a long career considers that. No, I mean he's not. He might not be in a rap state of mind. Like I feel like once you get that old, I can't stand you. I can't stand peach that cardi B. I feel like once you become that big of a legend and you've said so much and you've been that amazing for so long and now you're just in the house raising your family. What you need something to inspire you to rap and I feel like nothing's inspiring him.
Rory
A fake rape charge is a crazy inspiration.
Julian
Yeah, like that's what, like nothing's really inspiring him.
Rory
Over the weekend, the alleged victim did an interview with NBC. I believe it was where she suggested that her friend drove her from where Rochester, New York five hours to this VMA after party where she was at 13 years old and small at mall Stop. I'm telling mall this is the facts of the case. 5 hours down to the VMA after party dropped the 13 year old off there puffs limo driver said yo, you got what puff like. And she got in and then talked to a celebrity that said he was touring in the Midwest at the time and wasn't even There.
Damaris
Oh yeah, I saw that.
Rory
And her father then picked her up. Her father says, I feel like I'd remember that. And she admitted there's a lot of inconsistencies in her story, which then Jay Z asked the court system. I think it's okay and safe to throw this entire thing out. Nobody was vetted in this. Clearly she has her nights completely mixed up. Not suggesting that this woman has not been harmed, but it does not appear whatsoever that it was by Jay z after the VMAs when she was 13.
Mal
That was a good job breaking that down, Rory.
Rory
I was just giving the facts of the case.
Mal
No, that. Yes, I love it.
Rory
I feel like I would remember driving 5 hours to pick up my 13 year old daughter in the city and driving back.
Mal
Listen, man, we.
Rory
The father's response and I don't want to make light of this or any situation like this.
Mal
That's the comment I was waiting for. See that comment right there? Who's this?
Damaris
The top one, the baddest. Alive Ma.
Mal
No, the other one. So he paid her off because that's what they gonna say now. They gonna run to that.
Rory
No, he had the opportunity to pay her off.
Mal
No, but that's fine. But this is. But this is stupid. See, the Internet is full of stupid people. And that's what people don't understand. A lot of people don't have discernment. A lot of people don't have common sense. Anybody that heard this from the beginning knew that something just didn't sound. Your father picked you up in the middle of the night from a random gas station and you allegedly was raped and sexually assaulted and your dad didn't go in that same venue you was just at and start raising hell.
Rory
And again, I, I don't want.
Mal
And I know people get assaulted and don't tell them about if you pick up your 13 year old daughter in the mid. Your 13 year old daughter in the middle of the night from a random ass gas station that's five hours away from your house. Yeah, you not gonna. What the happened to you? What are you doing over here?
Rory
His response, 13 years old was like comical of like, I have a lot going on right now, but I still feel like I'd remember that.
Mal
Yeah, like just cut this man. Throw this ass case out.
Julian
And a autistic 13 year old fought off two grown ass men like come on man. And it wasn't fucked up enough that her dad didn't notice she got assaulted. Y'all called us abuse defenders or whatever the fuck y'all Called us in the comments when we originally said that this sounded.
Mal
Yeah, because those are the people that's just waiting for a moment to just believe any bullshit. To tear somebody down that's worked hard their entire career while they've sat down and worked for somebody their entire career. Oh, it's a difference. A lot of these people are online, they're waiting for that. People are waiting for a moment to laugh at somebody and say, oh, they're nasty. They're just like. If you got a picture with any of these other people that they think are nasty, oh, you was doing it too.
Julian
But you got any pictures with nasty people?
Mal
Absolutely. Sure, I got pictures with that done killed. I ain't never killed nobody that got to do with me.
Rory
Weird. I'm just not getting who you're taking it.
Mal
I'm just saying. So I'm a killer now because I. Because the in the picture with me, he smoked two, three summers ago. The fuck that gotta do with me? I don't be with him every day.
Rory
Just in the photography.
Mal
We happened to be at the same event, was standing there together talking and somebody said, yo, take a flick. Let's take. Aight, cool. Once we left that venue, I don't know what that man did with his life. I have nothing to do with that. But the same can't be said when you're successful and have all of this fame and notoriety. People are waiting. They're waiting for that moment to laugh at you and to tear you down. That's just what this is. Another example. Cause now all of a sudden this week. Oh yeah, no, he been raping. What? He been raping.
Julian
He been raping.
Mal
We watched this man get in. He was in the elevator with his wife and his sister in law. She kicking him, you know, near his loins. You know, we got to protect the loins. Not one time did any of us think that Jay was going to hit Solange. So you mean to tell me this dude that had that cool in that elevator when he's being kicked and swung, I didn't even look like he was about to swing. That's the same guy that held down a 13 year old girl in a raper and raped her, that's the same guy? Like, come on man, stop.
Julian
He held, he held the head, did he held the legs? Like, come on, let's make it make sense.
Rory
And I mean I get the side of people saying this is why victims don't come out. Well, yeah, this is. None of this is consistent. It makes zero sense. And I think it's okay to say, hey, this makes zero sense. I don't know if we should put rape on someone's jacket when nothing is consistent in this story at all.
Mal
And not only that, it's sad because, you know, there are real victims of sexual assault in the world, and this is a spit in their face. Like, you don't play with that. You don't. This is not something to joke with and to just make accusations and think that, oh, it's okay if you're lying. We'll just find out you're lying, and then life will go, no, this is not something that. This lawyer. What's his name? Tony Busby. He should be disbarred. He should not be allowed to be a lawyer. He should not be allowed to practice law anywhere in the country.
Julian
Oh, y'all should see what he's doing now. Now he's like, this case was handed to us by some of our associates, and they did their due diligence, but they weren't aware of. Shut up.
Mal
No, they didn't.
Rory
I mean, it proves hov calling him an ambulance chaser. You didn't vet anything. Somebody came to you or you heard someone say, yo, I know someone that says, jay did this. All right, let's do it.
Mal
Let's do it. Yeah, but he played with the wrong person, though, and he tried to put something on the wrong person's jacket that, you know, this is somebody whose moral compass has been intact since forever. You know what I mean? So to put that on his jacket. Tony Busby is his name. Oh, he's. Allegedly. He's gonna learn a valuable lesson behind this. There's certain people you can't play like that with.
Rory
And I think the MeToo movement has been very valuable. And, yes, it's made the energy the past few years very sensitive, rightfully so, because there has been a lot of nasty shit. But it also allows people to take advantage of people that haven't done anything and be like, yo, I'll just settle just because I don't even want this coming out. I'm sure there's plenty of people that have not committed a single act of sexual assault that have behind the scenes, settled with someone just so it didn't become a thing.
Mal
Right.
Rory
Once that gets on your jacket, it's kind of over, no matter what the evidence really is. That's why I do respect HOV getting ahead of it 10 minutes after it came out, like, just to let everyone know this is fucking false.
Mal
Yeah, no, but that's the.
Rory
We're not going to take time privately with our family, all that stuff. I didn't do shit.
Mal
That's the difference. When you know you're not. You don't got none of this nasty wow shit going on. You get right to it. Who? What? Oh, yeah, tell them. Yeah, let's hear it. No, make it. Make it a criminal case. Don't make it civil. Make it criminal. Let her. Who is this young lady? Let. We need to know who she is so we can find justice for her. If she was indeed, of course, sexually assaulted. Yeah, that's how you handle that. You don't let lawyers talk and not give public statements. No, no, no, no, no. Let's. Let's handle this publicly. Let's get to the bottom of this.
Rory
And in fact, if it did actually happen and it wasn't Jay Z, let's.
Mal
Let's find out justice. Let's find out who did it.
Rory
But I. I had said over the weekend, which we talked about in the last episode, I found it kind of odd. Like, I get why people may not like Jay Z. That's their prerogative. Cool, whatever. But why are you upset that he didn't rape someone? Like, to me, that's the weird.
Mal
Because people are waiting for a moment.
Rory
Like, you're not. You're not at least relieved, like, oh, he didn't rape someone.
Mal
No, People. People want to. People want to see him fail. They want to see him, you know, have that moment in the spotlight where everything he worked for, his legacy, everything is destroyed. People are waiting for that. They want that moment. And that's just another. This is just another case of that. People want that moment. They think that you can't be young and black and successful and come from the ghetto. They don't think that you can make it out without doing some Illuminati ritual. Drinking baby's blood, raping children. That's the only way that you can, you know, achieve success in some people's eyes. So have fun with that case. Tony Busby.
Rory
Yeah, speaking of non consensual, I don't want to be in Cardi b and Offsets group chat anymore. I didn't consent to this. Either get back together or leave me alone.
Julian
You definitely text a bitch before. Like, please, like, you look pretty. Like, can I hit it again?
Rory
You definitely never.
Julian
You definitely text your ex one last time.
Mal
That's crazy. Please.
Rory
I have never my life texted a woman, please let me hit it again.
Mal
That is crazy. What did I have alluded to?
Rory
Like, hey, do you want to hang out tonight with the Intention that we should fuck again. But I didn't say please let me hit it again.
Mal
Have some pride. Pride don't exist no more.
Julian
Not with your baby mama.
Mal
That's where pride is the strongest.
Rory
The only way you can beg to hit it is if it's over. Like 90s R B chords. You can't do it in text message. Acapella. Let me hit it again. And it's funny because Cardi text just the way she talks too. You never get in this again.
Mal
And I mean that.
Julian
And I mean that.
Rory
That's got. That's gotta hurt to read though. You never get in this text.
Damaris
Like he speaks too.
Mal
He's very. I want to. Why are you being like that to me? You feel like you gonna be on me if you do. I want you.
Damaris
It sounds like the first draft of AI because we.
Rory
We've all been there.
Mal
The only thing I'm mad I don't see is the time that he sent those messages. Well, I want to see how this.
Damaris
Conversation started at 1105pm no, no, no, no, no.
Mal
I'm talking about his messages. How far apart are his messages?
Julian
Well they can't be that far apart because it doesn't have another time. So it was probably within that hour.
Damaris
He's those off sending that every 12.
Rory
Minutes is crazy cuz that's at what, 11:55pm?
Damaris
11:05.
Rory
Yeah. So it was within the hour or we said a whole new day. Yeah, that was back to back. And again, we've all been to the place that we've accepted when relationships are over and we're never going to have that again. It's just part of life. But reading it I feel like would sting. I've never had a woman say that to me. I knew I was never going to get real question. Oh, that would sting. Like let's ask a real question just to confirm. Lose all hope you're never again.
Mal
All right, but let's ask a real question. Is Cardi gonna give him that again?
Damaris
Probably.
Mal
Let's take. Let's make it. Where's the job? Let's make it. Let's make a bet.
Rory
Okay.
Mal
100 a piece.
Rory
I don't want to put money on Cardi's.
Mal
No, no, we're not putting money on her.
Rory
I don't want to parlay her.
Mal
They have a child. They have children together.
Julian
What's the over and under?
Rory
But we have seen. Let's go with history.
Mal
Cardi ain't never given that.
Rory
Let's go with history. We have seen this before. In public. And then we saw them. I think it was, like, last year, New Year's or some shit. They were together in the club, and then she admitted on IG Live, like, yeah, him again. Like, I want a dick. This is. It's happened before, fam.
Mal
Yeah, but this was the last time.
Julian
I don't put it. I don't put it past my sister.
Mal
Go back.
Julian
But what I. Where I think he might have fucked up is you had the whole entire Internet, you had podcast members screaming at each other, trying to figure out if I fucked somebody while I was pregnant or not. So you disrespected me in a way that's. Like, you dragged it.
Rory
Okay.
Julian
Like, you dragged it.
Rory
I'm gonna go against my gender. I feel like that was Offset's fault. The only reason why podcasters were screaming about it is because Offset told us.
Julian
That's what my point. You did all of that. You had these people yelling about me. Like, you had these. Like you had. This was. My. People were saying that I. Somebody while pregnant. Now it's. No you like. You up. She might be really turned off. Like, she might actually be turned off and over him.
Damaris
Well, they were seen together in Miami.
Julian
But they weren't together.
Damaris
All right. This thing keeps happening where they're not together, but they're always in the same club, and they're throwing money at each other in what looks like a playful match. So this is. This is flirting, I would say.
Julian
They said.
Damaris
They said it's clearly throwing money at her.
Rory
Good way or bad?
Julian
She looks like she's throwing it back, like, out of here. But this was his birthday, if I'm not mistaken. And they said his entire birthday. He stood up in that corner and watched Cardi have fun with her friends. Like, his whole birthday.
Damaris
They love each other. It's up love, but they love each other.
Rory
I can see Offset, like, asking a promoter to book both of them and then happen to run into each other. Like, what am I supposed to do? Is work.
Julian
Yeah.
Rory
As far as. For our kids, I gotta do this. All right.
Mal
Now that I see this video. Ah, yeah. She definitely gonna get that. Some pussy. Hell, yeah.
Rory
Why?
Damaris
Oh, come on.
Rory
It's Cardi squirting at a strip club.
Mal
No, I could. I could tell when a woman is off a. Like, if she was really off that she would have left.
Damaris
She wouldn't be there.
Julian
You can't. Well, no, because if you get contractually Cardi's. Yeah, she's at a party because she's partying. Cardi's. There because she's being paid to be there.
Rory
You think Cardi went to Rolling Loud as a fan of music? No, she was there. Yeah, but she was there because she was.
Mal
Yeah, but she knew. She knew he would be there too.
Julian
She might not have known that.
Rory
Getting paid.
Mal
Yeah, she knew he was gonna be there.
Rory
Okay. But to me, that would prove she just got. She's really off him.
Mal
She just got.
Rory
I don't even care if he's there.
Mal
And she just got pretty and knew that she was looking good and walked up in there and knew that nigga was gonna text her exactly what he texted. She knew that.
Rory
I think if she would have saw that he was on a build and didn't go, that would mean without sound, there's still. There's still a chance that they could get back together, bro. That she'll show up, because she does not give a. That you're there whatsoever. It won't affect her. That's when you know it's over. Over.
Mal
Nah, he gonna get that.
Rory
It's when she's too emotional about it.
Damaris
Oh, there was more to this screenshot, by the way.
Mal
Of course there's more. He. He.
Julian
I miss your. I miss your face. I miss your face. You make. When we.
Damaris
When she said.
Julian
She said, I don't feel like I'm gonna be on you. Y'all just don't deserve.
Mal
I got that same text, and she. The Uber was downstairs in an hour. I got that same text before they're.
Julian
Gonna hit my heart. Yeah, that was.
Damaris
I. I tried to bring it up earlier, but, like, I don't want to throw Damaris under the bus.
Julian
But yet here you are. Bus is rolling.
Damaris
But, like, wheels on the bus. You know, the Halloween thing. I'm never talking. Then here we go. Like, it happens. Yeah, but I'm not saying that's a demerit specific. I'm just, like. It definitely do that.
Mal
Yeah.
Rory
But I feel like Demerit's situation is not quite the same as what Cardi and Offset have been.
Mal
Yeah.
Rory
Through the last.
Julian
Yeah.
Rory
Also just like the public breakups.
Julian
Yeah. Like, that's.
Rory
That's a wild thing when you're in the public eye.
Mal
They made it public.
Rory
Of course. That's why I said.
Julian
Yeah, they made it public.
Damaris
She.
Rory
These are consensual that I'm in this group chat. I. I know way too much about them. When I.
Mal
Man, they was. They was that night.
Julian
I don't think so.
Mal
I'm telling you, they was that night. Guaranteed, they was that night. Only reason they wasn't is if Cardi was on her monthly.
Julian
I really don't think he gives a about that.
Mal
I mean, well, Offset wouldn't have cared that night. He would have took that.
Rory
He said, I missed the face you make when we. He's definitely running that red light full speed.
Mal
Yeah. Cardi, man, just give that another shot, all right?
Julian
Why would you say that? No children. No, it doesn't. No. You don't think that Cardi deserves to be loved? Somebody with somebody that doesn't cheat on, embarrass her?
Mal
Absolutely.
Rory
Allegedly.
Mal
I agree. I agree with you there.
Damaris
Allegedly.
Mal
We don't. That don't mean that Offset didn't love her.
Rory
Yeah, we don't know the smear campaign that was put around.
Mal
Love ain't enough.
Julian
Love is not enough.
Damaris
No, it's not.
Rory
Mall. How would you feel? All right, let's say you being my man's. Text messages like this get leaked of me speaking that way. What would be the first conversation coming into this pod after you see me begging? Begging for the box?
Mal
Get your loins together, bro. Control your loins, fam. What's wrong with you? You all right?
Rory
I mean, but my loins was working. That's why I was after you got.
Mal
To control them, though.
Rory
Nah, you can't go out. Not when I miss it like that.
Mal
Nah, man, you can't go out like that. Go home. I mean, you. Where they was at? Miami.
Damaris
Yeah, you're in Miami.
Mal
They selling. It's the premium down here. You. They selling that everywhere.
Rory
So instead of plus. So instead of selling all up and down.
Mal
Miami.
Rory
So instead of trying to win my family back through the art of you, man, I multiply some in Miami.
Mal
Yeah, them kids would be all right. You still take them to school, you still pick them up, you still see them. You still in their life.
Rory
I care about the nuclear family.
Mal
Nah, but you.
Rory
Sometimes I gotta beg for that.
Mal
Nah, man.
Rory
Pride.
Mal
You gotta have some pride, man. You gotta have some pride. See, what he was supposed to do was have some bad around him and throwing that money on them. That's what he was supposed. He was supposed to keep it. Pee like I see my baby. M. She good. She got security. She's safe. All right, cool. I'm over here with the homies. We partying now.
Rory
I know my baby mother's gonna get a lawsuit because Cardi's definitely knocking one of them chicks out without.
Mal
Because I'm partying at my birthday party.
Rory
You're adding logic into it. I don't know why you would do that.
Mal
Yeah, But I'm just saying, like, you can't come over. Gotta have some pride. Let her look now you he look. Let her look crazy now. She he look crazy with them text messages being put out there.
Rory
No, you would look crazy as a man if you're. Baby.
Mal
If I'm partying at my recently.
Rory
Recently broken up. You guys just had a kid, what, how many months ago?
Julian
Like four.
Rory
And you throwing money on strippers at a strip club. You were saying ones that were selling, but.
Mal
Well, do you think strippers don't sell?
Rory
Of course not. That's illegal.
Mal
Okay.
Rory
They would never do that. Yeah, you still look nuts as you just had a kid with her. Don't throw money on when she's mad at you. Next.
Mal
Yeah, like, what is he talking about? I'm at my birthday party.
Damaris
It's my birthday. It's my club. Are we talking about I just did a headline set probably, or whatever. He was it rolling about like, I'm gonna do what I want to do.
Mal
I don't know if he was headlining Rolling.
Damaris
He probably was. But like, he in that crowd. He plays well. Offset at Rolling Loud. That's a big.
Rory
Yeah. Offset to Rolling Loud. And Quavo did 900, 000 people in South Africa.
Damaris
Yeah.
Mal
Oh, we. Is that on the docket? Because I can't wait.
Rory
Why?
Mal
I can't wait to laugh.
Rory
Congrats. Congrats to Quavo for selling out the. Quavo selling out 900,000.
Mal
Man, you. Man, y'all is crazy.
Rory
Why did you.
Julian
You know he has no nuance when it comes to this conversation. Why did you bring it back up?
Mal
I have no nuance. Y'all looked at me and said he is on. He's the same. Same level as Chris Brown.
Rory
Never said that. Congrats to Chris Brown. That's.
Mal
You said they would. They would not tell him to move at a fashion show. You said they. If they walked in together, the fashion show would be more people there for Quavo than Chris Brown. You said that the marriage doubled down on it.
Rory
You guys know that playboy Carti leaked a new song on stage.
Mal
Chris Brown sold 90, 000 tickets in three minutes. Cool. I mean, could never do that.
Damaris
Like, once every five years. See.
Mal
You a hater, bro. You are a hater. He only does it once every. What does that mean?
Damaris
That means, like. Yeah, like, if someone that's that big does something that infrequently in a country that loves him. Yeah, like, you can do that. You can sell 90, 000.
Mal
Yo, you a hater.
Damaris
How's that hating?
Julian
That's just not hating.
Mal
Oh, here we go now.
Julian
You don't think that's because I don't think that Julian's coming from a hate. If he did Africa, that was hate.
Mal
I said he sold out 90,000. He was like, he only does it every three years.
Damaris
That's like, he doesn't go there. So to go there, you do the.
Julian
Massive arena in Miami because he doesn't do. He does Miami.
Damaris
He backflips in Miami every week.
Julian
He does the USA more often.
Rory
That's why he couldn't do Miami.
Mal
Yo, y'all sound.
Julian
He does the U.S. no, that doesn't sound crazy. When you do the USA more often, obviously in cities that you don't do more. Y'all do tours.
Mal
Y'all know that Chris Brown could sell out any arena. That was my point that I was trying to make to y'all months ago and y'all was trying to make. He needs this person to open up and sell tickets for him. Would you say he need a little baby on to sell those tickets?
Damaris
Well, he did.
Rory
I'm sure I said that.
Mal
Y'all are crazy. Y'all be disrespecting that kid, man. Well, that man. I'm sorry. He's not a kid.
Rory
I feel like we. We owe Rolling Loud some flowers. I think they're creating generational wealth. Every two weeks, Future Travis Scott and Playboi Cardi headline a huge festival. They're making everyone on this lineup does it every other. It's bi weekly at this point. Point. They are creating generational wealth for every one of these artists. Some of these artists never have to make music again because they can just do Rolling Loud three times a month.
Damaris
Oh, they had Shaboozi on the bill. That's cool.
Julian
They did. That's cool.
Damaris
On Sunday, like, we.
Rory
I. If I'm an artist, I'm inviting whoever started Rolling Loud to, like, my wedding, to, like, my kids christening. They are putting so much money into artist pockets. Like festivals typically happen once a year with a crazy bill. They do this non stop in every city with damn near the same lineup.
Julian
And kids keep going.
Rory
I know. I love it. Opposite of hate. I mean, I don't, you know, think Chris Brown would be able to make that. That lineup, but maybe one day, if he gets there.
Mal
I hear you. That doesn't, you know, I mean, like, why you think that? That's. That's. You're wrong. Just admit it. You was wrong.
Rory
Yeah, I've said that. You will Never accept my apology. How many times?
Mal
Definitely say she was wrong. I never heard that. I never heard that, bro.
Julian
I. Whatever.
Mal
Say it again.
Julian
Because you don't shut the up.
Mal
Say it again. Say it again. Say you was wrong. Say you was wrong. Say you was wrong. Say you was wrong.
Julian
Nah, this is likely.
Rory
It's like bitter baby mother. I've apologized. How many times?
Mal
I don't remember.
Rory
Stop bringing up the past. I've apologized.
Julian
I don't remember that. We were wrong.
Mal
Remember that?
Julian
But we didn't allow you to tell us what the we said. We said. That's not what we said. But what we did say was wrong. That's what we said the last time we had this.
Mal
You didn't say Chris Cuevo was a household name or something like that.
Julian
Nobody said.
Rory
I understand that we've caused tension in this relationship. If you want to stay together, you have to get over this. I've apologized for it.
Mal
I think somebody. I think demar said the Migos are a household name just like Chris Brown is.
Julian
Nobody ever said that.
Rory
You're just making things up.
Mal
Julian, can you pull a clip?
Damaris
I don't know what.
Mal
What?
Damaris
The original clip.
Rory
Yes, we. All right, we're on. Either way. Don't pull it up either way. Miami made so much money in the last two weeks between Art Basel and Rolling Loud. Art Basel's back. We didn't talk about that last episode. I felt like Art Basel took.
Mal
It never went away.
Rory
I know. But if it didn't feel the same.
Julian
The last few years, it felt like it went away.
Rory
Co I get whatever. This past year, the one that just everybody was there, it looked amazing. And then right into Rolling Loud. I feel like Miami residents shouldn't pay taxes for a while. You know, much money is now in Miami just because of the last two weeks. And speaking of Miami, Billboard put out their top 10 Miami anthems. We did. We've talked about Chicago so far and we've talked about Atlanta so far. So they just announced Miami, which I think was great timing with Basel and with Rolling Loud.
Mal
That's right, Rory. Today we are speaking about Tequila and Billboard teaming up with DJ Alex sensation and Trina. Some local Miami stars.
Rory
The baddest.
Mal
And they put together and curated a top 10 get up anthem for the city of Miami that speaks to the city and the culture of Miami. Some favorite songs that go off in Miami that we recognize a lot when we go to Miami.
Rory
And with Chicago and Atlanta, we agree with some, but we definitely had some notes. So let's go through this Miami one we start at at. There's a lot of ties here.
Damaris
There's 12 songs on this list, which.
Rory
Sometimes I. I get it. But to me, it's a bit of a cop out, like make a decision, but I would never say that to Trina's face. So let me. Let me just go ahead and read what. What they have put together.
Mal
Yeah.
Rory
At number 10, get low, Flow Rider. And at number 10 again, act up, City Girls. So far, I'm okay.
Mal
I don't know, I. I might. I might. Lean get low. I'm just saying that that's a.
Rory
It was a classic.
Mal
It's a classic.
Damaris
One of the first times off memory that I had a girl grind on me was to get low.
Mal
There you go.
Damaris
See, you got low, dude destroyed my clothes, you know, and like the. The address would just.
Mal
And you had a corduroy, so it was worse.
Damaris
Oh, it's bad. I break the up.
Rory
I don't want to take away from City Girls. Act up. Like, I can see it being in the top 10, but I mean, I don't know, it's just so felt like it just happened. Like, give it some time to see if it. It. It lasts.
Mal
I mean, it's five years ago.
Rory
At number nine, shake what your mama gave you. JT Money.
Mal
Classic.
Rory
Yeah, by far. Also at number nine, Mall, you can do this because you're a Puerto Rican.
Mal
Morena by DJ Last. You don't know nothing about that.
Rory
I don't.
Mal
Yeah, see, that ain't. Yeah, that's not your field house right there, you know, but that's Bailando. Number eight. Classic.
Rory
Yeah, that.
Mal
Come on.
Rory
I know.
Mal
Classic.
Rory
I'm aware of that one. I can do number seven because it's in English Hustling by Rick Ross.
Mal
There you go.
Rory
Then number six, Mall, you have this one.
Mal
Pit Bull and Low John.
Rory
I feel like that may that be higher.
Mal
It might need to be.
Rory
That's a hit. Number six. That's kind of crazy to put that at number six.
Julian
Look at number five, though.
Mal
Yeah, number five should be number one. I want to rock.
Rory
Uncle Luke, that could be number one in a party.
Mal
Explain something to y'all about I want to rock. All right, that right there. They've been twerking and shaking ass for 30 something years to that song.
Rory
Yeah, I could see that being number one. Number four. All I do is win. I want to go to the judges. DJ Khaled, Ludacris, T. Pain, Snoop Dogg, Rick Ross. The only person from Miami in this lineup is Rick Ross.
Damaris
Not Khaled.
Rory
Khaled's from New Orleans.
Damaris
He reps Miami hard.
Mal
Okay, he does.
Rory
But if that's the case, then I guess All I do is win should be there. But is that because of Khaled or Ross when it comes to the Miami thing?
Mal
I mean, it's a Khaled record, isn't it?
Damaris
Yeah, it is.
Rory
Yeah.
Mal
Yeah, that's okhed.
Rory
Okay.
Mal
Kyle's been on Radio Miami for years.
Rory
Is All I do is win the best Khaled song.
Mal
No. Well, not for me. No.
Rory
Anthem wise, I. All I do is win definitely is there. But even Rihanna and Bryson went crazy.
Mal
Yeah.
Rory
Is that not considered Miami?
Damaris
If we're considering we taking over.
Rory
We taking over was fire, but I feel like the Wayne remix was bigger than the actual song. But I guess all I do is when I'm fine with that. With Khaled at number four. Number three, the baddest. Pull over Trina. I think that's totally fine. Even though she put the list together, it should be there. And then mall can take one and two. Based off my complexion, especially number one. I'm definitely not saying that shit.
Mal
You look like you can be from, you know, one of the islands. Conga Gloria Estefan in the Miami sound machine. I don't even think you was born yet, Rory, when that was rocking 1985.
Rory
I was born in 1990.
Mal
Yeah, he was. Ah, he's still in the sacks. Number one. La Negra Tienne Tumbao Cruz. Y'all know nothing about that.
Rory
I still don't. Uncle Root, Uncle Luke. I want to rock. Should be number one.
Mal
We gotta have Trick Daddy Nan, though. That ain't up there.
Rory
That is crazy. Do you think that's because Trina and Trick Daddy have, like, rocky relationships?
Mal
I don't care what relationship.
Rory
The fact that Trick is not on this at all is insane.
Julian
Yeah, they should have been, man.
Mal
Gotta be on that top 10.
Julian
But that's not a get up anthem, though.
Mal
But put that song on a Miami watch.
Julian
I know I'm gonna get my ass up. I think they meant, like, hyperactive songs.
Rory
That's a hyperactive song.
Julian
Not really, man.
Mal
When Ned. Come on. All right now, if you holding the drink, it's gonna be on the floor. Yeah, that's a fact.
Rory
I also think BMF could be on here. No.
Mal
Ooh.
Damaris
Yeah. That's like, for us.
Rory
That's kind of crazy. Yeah, like hustling. I understand. But I feel like BMF is the bigger Rick Ross. Right?
Mal
America.
Rory
If that comes on in Miami, Bmf is doing bigger than hustling.
Julian
Well, I feel like these people are from Miami, so I think what we. What might get up in New York might be different in Miami. It might be a little different.
Mal
I'm gonna just go out on a limb and say, nash gonna get you up in Miami.
Julian
No, for sure. I'm talking about saying. I mean, Rory saying the different Rick Ross songs.
Mal
Oh, okay. All right. Yeah.
Rory
Trick Daddy, Thug Holiday, I'm a Thug, Slip and slide. There's like 10.
Mal
We need more Trick Daddy songs on this list, though. That's for sure. But I mean, you know, we gotta. We gotta let DJ Alex Sensation and Trinity.
Julian
We know why. Nan. Nan. Really? I don't know. Maybe I feel this way cause I'm a girl. Nan really gets people up because of. I feel like Trina's the kind of the thing on that record. Like, Trina is what makes that.
Rory
But they're both from Miami. I don't think it matters.
Julian
Yeah, but what I'm saying is, if Trina was gonna pick a song that she was on, her song is a bigger get up anthem than Nan.
Mal
Man, listen.
Julian
I remember Pull over that Ass Too Fat. That's a bigger get up.
Mal
I remember the first time I saw that Nan video and Trina took that coat off. I was. I was a little boy in the crib watching videos. I was stuck. I was like, who is that? I wanted to watch that video every time it came on.
Rory
There has to be a re. Like, that has to be some issue with Trina and Trick Daddy. The fact that that is not on there, you could argue that could be number two, let alone not even in the top ten.
Mal
Yeah.
Damaris
What about. There's no record from the 2 Live crew.
Rory
That's crazy. As well.
Mal
Well, Uncle Luke.
Rory
I mean, but as 2 Live Crew. Ace Hood is not from Miami, though. He's just Florida, right?
Mal
I believe so. I don't know if he's from Miami.
Rory
Because if not, like hustle harder in St. Lucia. Okay. I was going to say leaving Ace Hood off this. I feel like no Bugatti is a. That's a top 10 Florida record.
Julian
But there's only 10 spots. And I feel like everybody on this list deserves to be on there.
Damaris
Oh, there's 12 spots.
Mal
Oh, no, no. I'm not mad at any of these songs. I mean, you know, I understand the culture, but I could have did without conga. I love Gloria.
Rory
Like, when Tyler Mike.
Mal
How's that not fit? I love the record. I mean, I grew up listening to that, but I'm just saying, like, I would have put Nair there before conga. Me personally.
Rory
Killer Mike did the Atlanta one, I think Twisted in Chicago. Everyone's done a good job of representing all the sounds of their city. So like, like Miami is all over the place with sounds in a good way.
Mal
That's a hot initiative.
Rory
They did a pretty good job of trying to include every songs belong on.
Mal
On the Miami Get Up Anthem list. But, you know, I just. Nah, is Come on. That's like. I think when you land in Miami, they play that.
Rory
You could pick up your bags waiting for your gate to be.
Mal
You could pick up your bags of Carousel 3, and they got that playing for sure.
Rory
I'm still on the side of bmf, but other than that, I think it's a cool list.
Mal
Shout out to DJ Alex Sensation and Trina for putting together this list. Also shout out to Billboard and Thresh and I'll see on his Tequila, no Gunplay.
Rory
Blasphemous.
Mal
Yeah, I think they was trying to stay away from Stay away from gun. They didn't want that issue right there. You know, let's we with them. Let's leave them off this list, man.
Rory
Denzel Curry is from Miami, but I feel like, I guess with the Get Up Anthem thing, I don't know if there's a record that.
Mal
Yeah, I don't know if Denzel got a Get Up Anthem. Good music.
Rory
Why do you think they didn't reach out to your homegirl. Yes, Jules, for this?
Mal
Contractually, probably, you know, sign with somebody else at the moment. Can't really do that.
Rory
What's Billboard's rival complex?
Mal
Sprite, Maybe? I don't know.
Rory
Algorithms.
Julian
Yo, so I walked into work today.
Mal
You walk to work?
Julian
I walked into work. No, I didn't walk. I didn't walk from New Jersey. Walked into work and I heard like, some like, like a Snoop Dogg and Janae song playing. But I'm like, they from the West Coast. Maybe this some old shit. Then Rory come out was like, yo, this Snoop Dogg and Dr. Dre album. This shit hitting now. Ma, do you remember we had a whole conversation about.
Mal
Yeah, I said I didn't want to hear it.
Julian
Yeah, I thought Rory said he didn't want to hear it.
Mal
I said that, too.
Rory
I mean, I, I, I said I wasn't rushing to it. I didn't particularly care.
Mal
Yeah, I said we didn't.
Rory
Nor was I.
Mal
Like, we wasn't expecting to get this album. But I'm not, you know, it's two.
Julian
Legends weren't on My thought, both you.
Mal
This is still Snoop and Dre, two legends, but I don't know if we wanted an album for them in 2024. Like, I'm still waiting on Chronic, too. That's just me. Oh, no. The Detox. I'm sorry. Chronic Detox.
Rory
You got it. Compton album. This is why this podcast needs healing, because I had no problem apologizing for my Chris Brown take, and now Damaris is trying to do a gotcha moment because I said I wasn't rushing to this Snoop Dogg and Dr. Dre album, and I listened to it today, and I. It's way, way better than I expected at all. I'm okay with saying I was wrong.
Mal
So you like it?
Rory
I do. And I went into it thinking, let me listen to this for the podcast. I'm sure I'm gonna hate it. Which is a hater mentality.
Mal
Yeah. Yeah.
Rory
But we have seen people that are not active in rap. Snoop is a legend. His own right. I don't need, like, need to say that, but I. I didn't know if Snoop was in shape. This could just be two lifelong friends back in the studio just trying to make some music for fun. I wasn't expecting much. I did think it was gonna sound weird and outdated. It's great. The production is insane. I mean, it's Dre. But I still went in not thinking if Dre was even in shape at the moment. I know he records non stop. We never hear anything, so I don't know where he's at in his life. This entire thing is fire there. It's, like, oddly good, man.
Mal
Coco Sarah is on two joints. Okay.
Rory
It's really, really good. And Snoop, who I thought would be out of touch, and I probably wouldn't like his rhymes. We're great.
Mal
Yeah.
Rory
It doesn't sound like yesteryear rap, where they just brag about, like, how they're legends.
Mal
I know.
Rory
It's just cool.
Mal
You sold me. I'm listening to it. You sold me. You sold me. I'm listening to it.
Rory
The Janae record, Gorgeous is crazy. Tom Petty and Jelly Roll went nuts.
Mal
What does Tom Petty and Jelly Roll going nuts sound like? What is that? How does Tom Petty.
Rory
I mean, you know, it makes a white man blush. That's just good old folk.
Mal
Okay. Good old folk music. Yeah. With the Dre drums. Okay.
Rory
With. No, with the Dre drums.
Mal
Okay.
Rory
Yeah. It, you know, made you think, like, this is the new Bob Dylan type.
Mal
Okay.
Rory
I'm trying to think which. Because. What about that.
Damaris
That one record we were talking about guns and smoke.
Rory
Guns and smoke. Julian just wants to on Eminem.
Damaris
No, no, I'm genuinely asking.
Rory
All right, coming in again, Objective, because everyone knows I'm a 50, Stan, and I'm not the biggest Eminem Stan. I thought Em's verse was great. I thought 50 was a little behind on it. Wasn't really my favorite 50 joint, but M was cool.
Mal
All right.
Rory
Yeah, it's not a check. It's set up for M to rap for a while, but it's not, you know, lyrical miracle. Super fragilistic. It's a regular cool trade drums and M rapping for a while. It's a good project, man. I. I went in wanting to hate, and it's. It's good.
Mal
All right. I gotta check it out now.
Rory
That pressure beat. Crazy.
Mal
Put all of that on it. I gotta. I gotta. You. You dressed it up and made it real, man. I gotta. Go ahead, check it out.
Rory
I think it was. It was the pressure song, which sounded like that song is still on Mom's mind.
Mal
What song?
Damaris
Sorry. He said, dress it up. Make it real. Like, you're still thinking about.
Mal
Oh, no, I'm just saying, like, Maul.
Damaris
Came into the studio playing March Madness. He's been saying that since we started, so that's fine.
Rory
Even Damaris, which. She didn't realize we were listening to the album during the Janae one. Then it went to the pressure beat, and she was like, yo, what's this?
Julian
Yeah, I started bouncing, like, up and down. I said, oh, what's this?
Rory
No, it's really good.
Julian
Good.
Mal
All right.
Rory
Like, it's really good.
Mal
I'm gonna check it out. And if it ain't, I'm on your ass next episode.
Rory
I mean, it's fine if you don't like it. I. I won't lose sleep.
Mal
Oh, that's a shot at y'all, by the way. I don't know if y'all know that.
Julian
All right.
Mal
Like, they said, that's a shot at y'all. He shot at y'all, and y'all saying he shot at y'all. Don't let y'all know.
Julian
Like, literally, today is our perfect day. You keep pissing on it.
Mal
I'm just saying he shot at y'all. And y'all looking at me. Y'all supposed to be like, excus a.
Rory
If the shoe fits thing. If you and I have a disagreement if you and I have a disagreement in my shoe, I don't particularly care. We can just both like what we like.
Mal
Fact. That's a fact. We all we'll all be still family.
Rory
I'll still listen to the Dre album.
Mal
I'mma listen to it, though.
Rory
No, you're not.
Mal
I am. What?
Damaris
Promise you, Maris, are you going to cook to this album?
Rory
There were some records you could cook, too.
Julian
Cooking with Maris.
Mal
Tom Patty and Jelly Roll Maris.
Rory
Don't do that. Because you said times leak your sex tape.
Julian
Oh, my God.
Rory
Too soon. My bad. What is. I think. I think that is corny, by the way. I don't co sign any of that. I don't think it's funny. I think anyone that leaks sex tape corny as that.
Mal
Who's that?
Damaris
This is Damaris's Tik Tok Corner.
Julian
So Damaris's Tik Tok Corner is funny. So Cooking with Kaya is a young girl, I think she's 23, who has gone super viral because she, like, makes like, just cute little meals in her kitchen and she, like, twerks and she has a little theme song that we were just singing. It's very, like. Like, it's very addictive. So. But she's blowing up because all the boys her age. She's 23. So all the boys her age. Girls don't cook at 22. 23. Right. These niggas are starving, eating ramen noodles, playing a video game. But she's gone so viral. Her. She has a huge male fan base now, and they're just like, kya is the greatest woman in the world. This, this, and that. And you know when that happens? When women start getting attention for. For things, there's a bunch of haters, both women and men, who are now hating on her. And it's become this whole thing.
Mal
Good for you, Kai. That means you're. You're doing something good when you know you're doing something good.
Julian
Yes, it's become this whole big thing. But apparently someone leaked her sex tape.
Damaris
Oh, that's how she'd be cooking.
Julian
I don't. Yeah, I don't think that's her.
Rory
I didn't see. I mean, I didn't see the footage I just saw on Twitter. Everyone was talking about her sex tape was leaking. Yeah, but to your point, the moment men started saying, yo, get you a Kaya, all the women had to go find a reason why she was a. And like, all right, she's a. An adult woman that has sex. I don't think that went the way you thought it was gonna go.
Damaris
Yeah, women are mad because although she traditionally posts food making videos, she started posting non food related content. Guys. How dare. Oh, that's whenever she should die.
Julian
Yeah, like my man is on this same Internet. Well, get in the kitchen. I don't know what to tell. If your man is. If your man is obsessed with a girl on the Internet that cooks and.
Damaris
Twerks, what's better than food? And that's like the basis of a strip club fair. He ate like, what? You're gonna get mad at that.
Rory
I mean, if a woman does cook and you catch your man just looking at other cooking pages while she's twerking, I could see that, that upsetting the household a bit. But if you some bum chick that doesn't cook for your man, then, I mean, you have no sit Indian style. Shut the up. Like so they. So they enjoy that content.
Mal
So they. So women are mad at her because their boyfriends are watching her cook and twerk. Internet gets weirder every day.
Julian
So she's blown up on Tik Tok. She has like a couple million followers now. But I don't know what the influencer influencers are going to do when Tik Tok, like, leaves next month. Y'all know Tik Tok is leaving next month. It's official.
Mal
Is it official?
Julian
It's official.
Rory
I mean, they say that. They say that all the time, but I don't know if that's really the case. And also before we do get to the Tik Tok going away, we are. We are on women because they hate on this young lady. But there's no way that sex tape or alleged sex tape didn't come from a man. A girl didn't have that. Yeah, a corny ass man did that. So I don't want to just put it on the women.
Julian
Yeah, yeah, it's. Y'all should watch her content, though.
Rory
What should I cook? What's like your favorite dish from her?
Julian
Oh, I don't. I know how to cook. I don't need to watch that. But. But I think vegan.
Mal
She don't make vegan dishes, so I can't. Does she? I. I'm just talking.
Julian
I don't think so.
Mal
Okay. Yes.
Julian
She doesn't give vegan vibes.
Mal
Yeah, I won't be watching that. But shout out to her though, man.
Rory
Well, what are you guys going to do when Tik Tok goes away? January 29th?
Mal
I don't have.
Damaris
Same thing I've been doing.
Mal
It means nothing to me. I not. I'm not even on Tik Tok.
Julian
I'm a Jeff from where I give me a bridge. I don't know what's A good one.
Mal
Back you up.
Damaris
Can't do it on TikTok Live.
Julian
TikTok is life, man. But also we're laughing and joking. But outside of. From a consumer perspective, TikTok has made a lot of millionaires. A lot of millionaires.
Rory
I agree. So with a lot of platforms, that.
Mal
Means people can just pay their bills and buy groceries now. So much it takes a million dollars a year.
Julian
Listen, you ain't lying. My thing is just TikTok has built up like a lot of influencers and I just. As the creator, I'm not rich off Tick Tock, but just as a creator who's looking at this, I'm wondering what these people are going to do, because Instagram doesn't. Instagram is a completely different platform. You can't. On Tick Tock, you can open your phone and just start talking and people. You'll get millions and millions of likes from it. It doesn't really work like that on Instagram. There's people that do it, but it's not as common. So it's like, what do we do? These people go to YouTube. I've been telling people to go to YouTube for that. But maybe shorts. I don't. I don't know. I don't know who's gonna pick up the slack from Tick Tock. Because people I know, we all laugh like, oh, we're too good for Tick Tock. Tick Tock is a platform is probably the biggest.
Rory
I'm just not good at it, that's all.
Damaris
There could literally just be. Because they can't they just develop another app, just do the same thing?
Rory
I mean, vine was very similar to it there. There's been a lot of models of what TikTok is for years, but TikTok.
Damaris
Mastered it because Bite Dance has been around forever. The Tik Tok's just like their fifth iteration of the app, which, yeah, they.
Julian
Were musically before, if I'm not mistaken.
Damaris
So I'm just saying, like, why is an American company just.
Rory
Have we seen that really work? TikTok repurposed a lot of apps that already existed. Have we seen that work Anywhere else besides TikTok? Like, we've seen replacements for Twitter X a million times. I've even signed up for them. I lasted one week, went right back to Twitter.
Julian
Yeah.
Damaris
How's Threads doing?
Rory
Threads is tanking to the point they're like forcing us to click it to even post a fucking comment. Yeah, that's not working. The Big three just kind of remains the only time we've really seen it. Outside of TikTok, was Facebook taking over MySpace?
Julian
Well, I think the ish. I think where it might be successful if somebody does create a TikTok dupe is if we don't have access to TikTok, like, we. Of course, we can go to these fake Twitters, but Twitter still. Still exists, and all of our friends are still on the original Twitter. I feel like if we can't access TikTok and everybody. Everybody has to move to one different app. I feel like it'll garner more success.
Damaris
Yeah, Twitter wasn't a new app. It was just a rebrand. So it's not like people had to redownload something.
Julian
No, he's talking about the new Twitters, though. Like the social.
Damaris
What's that?
Rory
Wherever Don Lemon went, liberal one blue.
Damaris
Ski, whatever that is.
Rory
Where they, like, respect people. Not. Not my type of app.
Mal
Blueski.
Damaris
It's like, yeah, you must. You must have this many.
Rory
You know, it's trash Blue ski. Not a single joke whatsoever.
Julian
They said people were kinder on there. So nice.
Mal
A kinder place.
Rory
Don't be kind with, like, your friends and family. I want to see on my Twitter timeline.
Damaris
You guys know. Oh, God. I'm not trying to rage bait right now, but you guys know, like, that there's, like, barber shops now that. That say they're advertised as, like, all are welcome. We're not, you know, gender conforming, but we'll cut anybody's hair. It's like, we care. Oh, you're fucking barbershop. And then you get in the chair, and the. The hairdresser will say, is it o. Can I touch you before you get a haircut? You're there to get a haircut. The question is, can I touch you? What if you say no to that? What the fuck are you gonna do?
Mal
I wish I was in my barber's chair. He said, yo, can I touch you?
Damaris
Do I have permission to touch you? Or like, they ask for.
Mal
You have to do everything here so I can get out of here, man. What are we talking about? Can I touch you?
Damaris
I don't. That bothers me so much.
Julian
Did they ask you?
Damaris
No, no, no. I've just seen. I've seen videos. Like, I've seen you look like you get your.
Julian
At the gay barbershop at the they.
Mal
Them shop cannot touch.
Rory
But that doesn't shock me because I watched a whole piece that Piers Morgan did that we should be asking our babies and toddlers for permission to change their diaper, like, ask for consent.
Mal
Who said that?
Julian
I think he was being Funny. Funny.
Rory
No, no. He was arguing with the two crazy that thought we should do that.
Julian
Oh, yeah.
Rory
No, it was real. It's 100 real.
Mal
Appears Morgan was arguing.
Rory
Yes.
Mal
Oh, yeah. He not. He not trying to. He not trying to hear that, Pierce. Morgan ain't trying to hear that.
Rory
And then just asking simple questions to these outraged ladies, like, all right, how am I supposed to ask someone that doesn't know how to communicate if I can change their diaper? Yeah, you can see it in their eyes. All right, I'm. You are wasting air time right now.
Mal
Yeah. Like, please get the.
Julian
That's just rage baiting. There is. I do think that the thing with kids, though, asking kids, can you hug them? Instead of. Of just parents. Because when I was younger, my parents was like, give your hug. Give you a hug. If you don't. If you don't want to hug somebody as a kid, you don't have to.
Rory
I mean, if you're at that age.
Mal
Where you could communicate that, then okay, yeah, I agree. If I walk into marriage, you have a baby, and I see you asking your baby, hey, can I change your shitty.
Julian
Oh, no, I'm not talking about that. That's stupid.
Mal
I'm calling the police on you. I'm like, yo, she's crazy. This is postpartum, I think. And she's asking an infant, calling the.
Julian
Police because I have postpartum.
Mal
She's asking the infant with a shitty diaper. Diaper, can I change your diaper? Like, what are we talking about here?
Rory
But, I mean, I do agree with Damaris. Like, when. When Amar. If I ask Amara for a kiss and she says no, I let her know that that's okay to say no to. Like, I think that's important because I'm with you. Like, when you're a kid, and, yeah, yo, go hug. You're like, I don't want to do that.
Mal
Right. No, I get it.
Rory
I have to hug everyone in my family. No, I just want to sit over here and mind my business. Don't touch me. Right, weirdos. Unless I'm in my diaper.
Mal
Exactly.
Rory
You have no choice.
Mal
But when kids can communicate that. I totally agree. I'm with that.
Rory
Okay, I'm gonna sound like a liberal cuck, but I'm not that mad that there's a barber shop that does that. Maybe some people have, like, really crazy intimacy touching issues and still need to get haircuts. Maybe that place makes them feel safer. Yeah, if that was, like, standard at every barber shop.
Mal
Let me tell you one thing.
Rory
It's only one. Don't do this. We don't do this outrage. Not where one thing happens.
Mal
And now the whole world thinks that way.
Rory
One drag queen read one book to one kindergartner and now the whole world thinks that drag queens are trying to switch up.
Mal
You do not agree with that?
Julian
Well, I don't think this is.
Rory
I don't need to agree. I don't care.
Julian
If it's not harming anybody. It's not. It's not impairing on my. What I like to have received at my regular hair salons, then that's fine. I don't mind. I think that's weird. Not weird in a bad way, but just. I think it's a little off. But I don't mind people having their own. In their own corners of the world that don't have nothing to do with me. If it don't affect you, why would it? Why would you even.
Mal
Why would you my somebody.
Damaris
Well, go ahead, Ma.
Mal
Being asking the bar. Your barber asking you do you mind if I touch you? Is crazy.
Julian
Yes, but I don't mind people doing crazy on their own time. That's what I'm saying. Like, I don't think that it's.
Mal
Why are you here? Cut your own head for like get out of here.
Rory
Kinky, sexual.
Mal
Yeah, but get out of here. This is a barbershop. I have to touch your fucking head. I have to brush your hair. I have to comb your hair. I have to put clippers here. I have to touch you. I shouldn't ask you, but that's the.
Rory
Point of this barbershop. I mean, if this was a universal rule that the Democrats put in place for every barbershop has to do, then I'm on your side. Then I'm full blown Tucker Carlson, Fox News. This is crazy, this agenda. But if there's one fucking hippie hipster barbershop that wants to ask this to lesbians do like have a blast, bro. I don't care. I don't care at all.
Mal
We need to bring back mental aside.
Rory
I don't care. These kooks is my haircut takes 20 minutes. Talk to someone else.
Mal
These fucking kooks, these crazy batshit people walking around, walking in the. Put them in a mental asylum. Bring back mental health facilities. You got an equinox on everything.
Rory
The Republicans are taking them away.
Mal
Put mental health facilities on every corner. Just like you got a Starbucks, Ma.
Damaris
You walk into the barber shop in the Bronx and this is your interaction.
Mal
That would never be my interaction.
Julian
Yeah, okay, cool.
Rory
And what are your pronouns?
Mal
They, them, she, them.
Rory
This is a joke.
Mal
Glad we exchanged those.
Julian
Yes.
Rory
Okay. I'm glad that you came in today to give me. This is. This is fake.
Julian
That's not fake.
Damaris
No, this was. This was the original one. This was the original one.
Mal
Yeah. And the shop is empty. Nobody's going to this fucking place, man. Get out of here with this shit.
Julian
The way that she.
Rory
And her hair is already crazy cut.
Julian
I don't. So far the way that. The way that she asked was not in a. Am I allowed to touch you? I think it was more in a. Like, when you go to the doctor's office, you know that the doctor knows she has to touch you. You know that the doctor has to touch you, but she usually is like, all right. She lets you know that she's about to touch you. Because some people are weird about being surpr. Like being touched and not knowing exactly when it's coming, if that makes sense.
Rory
When the clippers go on, you know.
Mal
You talking about getting a physical and like, that's different because you. Your women have to get, you know, they. Private areas. Look at it.
Julian
Just talking about that. Just regular, just.
Mal
Okay, well, whatever it is, the doc's office, I can understand that because, you know, the doctor has to check your anatomy. If you sit in a barber's chair and can I touch you? Like, you mean, can you cut my hair? Yeah, but I don't. If my barber says, can I touch you? Lift my cape up and try to go, then it's a problem.
Rory
I have got.
Mal
As long as you stay above the.
Julian
Shoulders, we good family again, like I said, my point is, I don't think it's. Am I allowed to touch you? She knows you're gonna get touched. It's more. It's more. Can I touch you? I'm about to touch you, you know, when the touch is about to come. Because some people are about that down.
Mal
In a barber chair and been surprised.
Julian
At the barber because that's you every year.
Mal
What is that? Clippers?
Rory
Pervert. What are you doing?
Mal
Was that a brush? Spraying water on me? What the.
Julian
I bet y'all would like to know when they about to spray that alcohol on your forehead.
Rory
I can see it.
Mal
Yeah.
Damaris
The whole time.
Mal
It is stupid, man.
Rory
But at the doctor's office, when I've gotten my. My colon checked, he never, like, warns me, here comes the plane. Like, he. He just sticks his fingers in my ass.
Julian
I guarantee you, he does not just bend you over, spread your hole and stick.
Rory
First of all, it goes. You Lay in the fetal position on the side of the deli paper. And then he inserts his fingers into your.
Julian
He's about to stick his fingers in your ass. He does not just stick his fingers in your ass with no warning.
Damaris
Rory asks for the stirrups, then goes reverse on him.
Rory
Positive. He doesn't because he knows when I get in the fetal position, I'm aware that he's about to stick.
Mal
I thought you meant that you were ready.
Rory
Well, you're never ready.
Mal
I thought he's about to say when he. He knows when I get in the fetal position, I'm ready. I thought that's who was about to say, like, y have this, like, synergy with each other.
Rory
He's not. He's not even a professional doctor. I just call him doctor.
Mal
You've never. You. He.
Rory
Deli paper at my house. This is in my home.
Mal
He doesn't have his certificates on a wall.
Rory
No, no, no, no. This is Roleplay.
Damaris
The deli paper. That's his version of the Soho.
Mal
Oh, but no, the doctor.
Rory
The doctor doesn't say anything. There's someone there that has to be a witness. But no, he doesn't say it. Oh, you just get in the fetal position and just. Just wait.
Mal
Yeah. It's up to him.
Damaris
Just.
Mal
Just have your way, sir.
Rory
Wait for your lashings.
Mal
Hey.
Julian
Yo. Is your prostate healthy, though?
Rory
Yeah.
Julian
Okay, good. I'm happy. Mall is yours?
Mal
Yeah, it is. I'm. I'm going again next year, though.
Damaris
Oh, nice.
Rory
Are you ready for.
Julian
You haven't checked yet?
Mal
Yeah.
Julian
Oh, okay.
Mal
I'm saying I'm going. I'm getting a physical next year.
Damaris
What was it used to be every. Every five years for a colonoscopy pat or what is it?
Rory
They.
Damaris
I think they changed it. I think. Think they. It's now a year. Like, less of a weight where it.
Rory
Used to be 5 years, 40 is average, right?
Damaris
Yeah, yeah. They rec. I remember it being at one point, used to be every five years. Now I think they're saying every three to four should get it checked.
Rory
I just feel like with the food we have, younger people should get them. You should. You should flush out that.
Julian
That's the number one. If I'm not mistaken, I was reading an article on it. That's the number one killer of Gen Z, I want to say right now, is colon cancer.
Rory
Oh. I mean, for. For men, colon cancer is our breast cancer. Now, like, unfortunately, personally, the amount of men I know that have passed from colon cancer in the last 10 years is insane. Like, check, check Your booty hole, man. It's okay. Even if he doesn't warn you that he's going to touch you, your doctor has your best interest at heart. Let him finger you so you can live a long healthy life and just.
Julian
Stop making it weird because you're going to scare people off.
Rory
Even if it is for pleasure, being a pussy. And let that man finger you.
Damaris
Even if it is for the doctor's pleasure, it still has health benefits for you.
Julian
No, because they got to be able to touch it. They got to be able to feel the stuff.
Mal
I mean, just scan me like you can see through my whole anatomy. Like put me in the fucking. In the incubator.
Julian
But they won't be able to feel.
Damaris
The lumps, the strokes different.
Julian
Yeah, and those are.
Rory
AI is going to replace everything but that test.
Damaris
But the booty and the thing that stays the same.
Mal
They don't get rid of that part of the test.
Rory
Cars will drive themselves. We can't have to have.
Mal
You can get to LA in 20min now. But I still have to put two fingers.
Julian
And I wish for like now granted, like, I don't know, like, I just. I wish women, the things we had to go through was as easy like a finger in the ass. That's nothing. Somebody's taking up.
Rory
Yeah, I like that somebody.
Julian
Yeah, right.
Rory
That's when I made it.
Julian
A popsicle stick. And going in all the way inside my body and scraping. Not. Not scraping with the popsicle stick.
Rory
Yeah.
Damaris
You'd think they'd find something better than wood. Like, what if you got a sliver? Yeah, like, couldn't that happen? It's wood.
Mal
Yeah, but it's a different type of.
Julian
It's medical gray, baby. I don't think I'm gonna get a splinter.
Rory
Has anyone like, definitely happened. Double check. Is there anyone that like went to medical school but dropped out but could give us the info of like, why I have to cough when you're cuffing my ball?
Damaris
Oh, it's for your hemorrhoid. Check. Hemorrhoids.
Rory
I know, but like, what? I've even done it myself. Like, I've coughed and held my nuts. Like, what are they?
Mal
Hernia.
Damaris
You mean hernia? Sorry.
Mal
Yo. Get hernia.
Damaris
Hernia.
Mal
Get out your butt, dog.
Damaris
My bad. We were talking about ass. No, it is weird that that's like still like a top priority on like a. You'd think a doctor's checklist coughing for a hernia is like, all right, but.
Rory
Have you ever cuffed your nuts and like cough just to see if you could feel what they feel like.
Mal
I'd. Yeah, my balls just shift.
Julian
They. They do.
Mal
Like your sacks tighten up. Yeah, your sacks tighten up. Like, whoa, what is that? Your hands are cold.
Julian
Really?
Mal
Yeah.
Julian
Now the next guy. Well, I'm still now but like the next time I see a guy, I'm gonna hold his boss and make him cough and see if I can feel it.
Damaris
We could do it tonight at the show.
Mal
Just a random to love your is. Hey, he's playing our song. Hey, hey.
Rory
Your health is a priority made is playing our song.
Mal
Jermaine, it's time just me on the.
Damaris
Live stream with boss.
Rory
Do they do that with women at all? Like, next time I finger a chick, should I ask her to cough? Like, what's the. What's y'all?
Julian
No, they only. They only tell us to cough when they put our hand. They're like the. Why? How did I say it?
Damaris
Like stethoscope.
Julian
She said swallow my tongue. She said when they put the stethoscope on our back, they only tell us to cough.
Rory
Cough.
Julian
They don't put a finger in our and say cough. No.
Damaris
Well, one doctor did and he got jammed up.
Mal
The Olympic doctor? Yeah.
Damaris
Larry Nassar?
Mal
Yeah. Piece of that was sick.
Julian
That was so.
Mal
I hope they didn't kill him yet.
Damaris
Where's he at? I was gonna say is he not dead yet?
Rory
Kill.
Julian
That piece of that was sick.
Damaris
They gotta get him like stab. Oh yeah, he did get stabbed. That's right.
Rory
Yeah.
Mal
He missed.
Damaris
No, he got stabbed a bunch and.
Rory
They were just marking them. They're gonna stab him again. Again? Yeah, they were trying to keep him alive so he could just keep stabbing him.
Julian
If you guys don't know who Larry Nasser is, Larry Nasser is the Olympic like pediatrician doctor or whatever that he was like molesting all the Olympic athletes.
Damaris
And he was the head for team us for Michigan State gymnastics as well.
Mal
Piece of.
Damaris
Yeah.
Rory
Speaking of prisoners and updates, I have to laugh at at moles News network. They got their marching orders for Luigi. They were saying that the prisoners when Luigi gets onto the yard are going to have a real issue. That he killed the CEO of a health insurance and that they are going to bully him on that yard because of what he did.
Mal
Man.
Rory
That's what Fox telling us.
Mal
He about to eat good in there, man.
Rory
I don't get it. They were talking like Luigi was a child molester when he got to chow.
Damaris
Yeah, like I'm so confused by the extreme like the right wing agenda when it comes to this kind of stuff. Because you would think based on their rhetoric and how they're so anti establishment. Anti big corporation establishment. But why do they love. I never understood that. Why are they so pro this guy? They love guns.
Rory
Go through. Go through the investors of Fox News.
Damaris
I get that.
Rory
You will find G3 or 4. That's why health insurance guys companies one being united.
Damaris
Because on paper, everything Luigi did is everything that they would champion for sure. He shot someone in New York City with a gun. And he who represents big money corporation health. Not just big money health. The one thing that they're always saying we don't trust is the American health care system. And then you got one and then it's like, well, he went too far.
Mal
I mean, well, yeah, he's the guy.
Rory
But he part of what you guys preach. It's part of their establishment.
Damaris
Of course.
Rory
And they were also very much anti Obamacare Care. Loved it when they just changed the name when it wasn't Obamacare.
Damaris
But it was the same.
Rory
They hate that. And you know, universal health care is not a Republican talking point. So this guy, you know, and he was what, bisexual? So he has to be like a Hillary supporter. And like he was hired by the Clintons. You know, that type of.
Julian
Oh, he's bi.
Rory
I mean, I guess. I don't know.
Damaris
How did they even find that out?
Julian
I don't know.
Rory
I mean his Facebook was a little zappy.
Damaris
Best I saw a video of some shotgunning beer.
Julian
He probably did that. Sexy too.
Mal
That's pretty.
Julian
By cute little kid.
Rory
Chris Rock was on snl, which by the way I found out at our live show from Derek Gaines. He's like, yo, Chris, about to do his monologue. I was like, did they advertise that Chris Rock was doing Saturday Night Live?
Mal
I didn't see that.
Rory
I didn't see the post it note. I didn't see anything.
Damaris
It was pretty quiet and I didn't. I had neither.
Rory
It was odd because this is like a big mic moment. But he. He discussed it. Had some funny jokes of, you know, feeling for the CEO, but sometimes drug dealers get killed.
Damaris
You want to play? I can run the fact everybody's worried.
Mal
I mean, we.
Rory
We got Luigi. We got Luigi, you know, and that's good. I. I really feel sorry for the. For the family.
Mal
I mean, everybody's fixated on how good.
Rory
Looking this guy attracted man look like Jonah Hill.
Damaris
No one would care straight Jonah.
Rory
Doing that to Jonah Hill is crazy dead.
Mal
Okay?
Rory
But he actually killed a man.
Mal
A man.
Rory
Swag. A man with a family.
Mal
A man with Kids, man. I mean, I have condolences. I'm. I don't have real condolences for, you know, the HealthC Care CEO.
Damaris
I mean, this is a real person.
Rory
You know, but you also got, you.
Damaris
Know, sometimes drug dealers get shot.
Mal
You can set up True up, but true.
Rory
I like Chris's monologue. I mean, probably not his. His absolute best, but it was a good monologue. It's always nice to hear from Chris Rock a lister. I mean, who would say otherwise? Also, if I ever saw him in Soho, like.
Damaris
Yeah.
Rory
Think I wouldn't say it to his.
Damaris
Face in one of our skits. His last public appearance was in our skit.
Rory
Well, no, I believe it was week. Wasn't he doing like a private set somewhere?
Mal
Oh, yeah.
Rory
And ran off stage. So that's why I was so confused why this wasn't promoted. Like there was a big Chris Rock scandal last week and now he's doing Saturday live.
Mal
Like, yeah, no one watched until I saw the clip. I had no idea he. I mean, but to be fair, I'm not a big. I don't really watch SNL like that, so. But I mean, I think we would know if one of their biggest alumni I were coming back to host. I think that would have been everywhere. But no, I didn't, I didn't know he was hosting it.
Rory
So he was at.
Damaris
Yeah, he was at. He was doing a private show and allegedly the. There were people in the crowd. It was a non filming show and people were filming him. And the rumor was he stormed out and was pissed off. But someone, a witness says he actually just simply put the mic down and walked away. So they were basically.
Rory
What's wrong with that?
Damaris
They were violating protocol by filming him. And he said, I'm done.
Mal
Oh, I mean, that's it. Simple. Not supposed to be filming me.
Rory
Yeah. I don't understand what the outrage was with this. And it wasn't even really in the media on Chris Rock's side. They tried to make him sound like he was like insane and like going through something. Like stormed off stage. Like, no, somebody's feeling me. You're not allowed to.
Mal
That's it. I'm not. Yeah, Said is done.
Damaris
Since 2017, he has implemented a no filming policy at his shows.
Rory
I will say when I saw Chappelle at Radio City for that Sunday midnight show show, and you have to put your phone like in the bag thing, like, you can't. Trust me, I tried to open it. You can't. Outside of it being Earthquake Michael Chappelle, what's the. This is going to sound racist. The Indian guy that does a daily show a lot. He's great.
Damaris
Oh, Hassan Minaj.
Rory
Yes, him. The standup shows you get when they know everyone's phone is locked away was by far the greatest standup I've seen from every last one of them. They do not give a. Because no one's going to film them and get in trouble. Best comedy show ever. Like, anytime I've seen that with shows, you have to put your phone away. I get excited because I know it's going to be a good comedy show.
Mal
People don't care. They're going to say whatever they want makes the seller. We went to that.
Rory
Michael Che is. I think Michael Che is hilarious. Now think about Michael Che without having to worry about NBC. It was insane. Anything he would have said would have gotten him fired in a hard a heartbeat. Who cares? You're in Radio City and everyone's phone is locked.
Mal
But we were at. When we was at the comedy. The Comedy Store in la, right? Did they. Did we have to put our phones away?
Rory
No, but that was like a roast battle that wasn't really, like, famous people, so. No, but I even saw now that.
Mal
One dude was getting his 911 jokes off. I felt like he only did that because our phones were away. Like, we couldn't film. He was going crazy.
Rory
It's definitely. If you take your phone out at the comic store, no matter what, a security guard will grab you. But it's not like you don't have to put them in bags. Like, I saw Bill Burr popped up one time when I was at Comedy Store. Phones were fine. Mark Norman. There's a bunch of people that are big comics that they didn't make you do that. But it's also, I think for the people that go to, you know, actual comedy clubs, a lot have that respect. Like, why take our phones out? And also, who wants to watch something through your phone when you're there?
Mal
Weird.
Rory
Watch the show.
Mal
I know you want to post it on their ig.
Julian
Yeah, it didn't happen if you didn't post it.
Rory
If Damaris does not cry tonight but cried at the Gunner show, we're gonna have an interesting Thursday.
Damaris
I'm probably gonna cry.
Julian
I cried this morning when January 28th played on my phone on random. I'm going to cry.
Damaris
I'll probably cry with the Maris because I'll be watching Damaris cry.
Julian
Yeah.
Damaris
And I'll be happy that I'm having this moment with Damaris.
Rory
What song is going to do it?
Damaris
Whenever she cries. Because I. I'm emotional when I see other people get emotional.
Mal
I cried at a J. Cole set one time.
Rory
You did?
Damaris
Here we go.
Mal
Yeah. All right.
Damaris
Here we go.
Julian
See? And I fell for it like a idiot.
Rory
Said, oh, you. Was it Kenny Lofton? What's up?
Mal
He gave such a heartfelt speech.
Rory
All crying and Kenny Loft. It was hilarious. Hey, great lead off.
Mal
He gave such a heartfelt speech, man. You know.
Rory
You know, Cole is going to give him at least a 15 minute speech during the show.
Mal
Yeah, man.
Damaris
I'm a live streamer for you, Ma.
Mal
Please do. Please.
Damaris
If he gets live on IG for you.
Mal
Julian, promise me if he gets on that stage tonight, he's not.
Damaris
All right.
Mal
And he starts talking about that apology again. Please.
Rory
He's not. He's going to talk about four sills.
Mal
We heard the album Tale of Two Cities. Tale of Two Cities.
Julian
I think he might announce when the falloff is coming at this show, though.
Mal
Good.
Damaris
Possibly.
Rory
I could see that for sure. They kind of dropped the ball by not having the tickets available in Forest Hills.
Mal
Yeah, that's would have went there and got the. Yeah.
Rory
I mean, there's a Forest Hills in New York.
Mal
That's what's up.
Rory
And I feel like him and Drake have dropped the ball by not putting out a Forest Hills song. They're both from Forest Hills. And then they put Action Bronson on it.
Mal
Julian, once again, if he gets up there on that stage tonight, please record it and send it to me.
Rory
I'll give you my password to the inevitable. Please. I'm going to purchase the stream.
Damaris
It's for you.
Mal
Please, bro. Please. It's all I ask. I don't never ask you for anything but that. I need to see that. Please. Please. That's all I ask. Do we have voicemail?
Rory
You don't think it'll be on Twitter the moment the speech happens?
Mal
No, but I need it from Julian in. Because I know he's going to get the. I'll do it for. He knows.
Damaris
Is him rehearsing the speech.
Mal
Yeah. Yeah. Julian knows what I want to see. He knows what I want to pause. Why y'all. But I think. I think when we look at pauses, we should look at like how your brain, like interpreted that.
Rory
Julian knows what I want to see. That's. I don't think that's that big of a.
Mal
We're talking about.
Julian
Cam would have paused that.
Mal
Julian, do we have voicemails? Should I say pause too? Yeah, you've got mail. I'm asking a man for Voicemails.
Damaris
This. Well, this might be a pause worthy voicemail.
Rory
Of course.
Damaris
Here we go.
Mal
Hi, guys.
Bailey
So I'm Bailey from California.
Mal
Hey, Bailey.
Bailey
I just want to say that I love you guys. Thank you for answering.
Mal
Love you too.
Bailey
I am 26 and my boyfriend is 25 and I'm having issues with him and how he interacts with his friends. Yes. I've seen this before, like, you know, amongst like people that are my age, maybe in high school or whatever. But it's kind of crazy that we are a little older and they're still doing this. He's a little bit homoerotic. Like too homoerotic with his friends. Like they call each other daddy and they play around and they play flirt.
Mal
That's.
Bailey
Play flirt.
Julian
That's fine.
Mal
Right?
Bailey
But like there goes into like, there's like this pepino trick where like they put a cucumber up to like, they put it by their, you know, thing and they put it up to their friend's mouth and the friend like actually gagged on that shit. That's crazy to me. You know, and other things that just cross the line for me and I feel like.
Rory
Wait, wait, wait.
Damaris
There's a lot to it.
Mal
No, no, hold on. Boyfriend does what?
Damaris
It's like Orlando Brown in an interview.
Rory
I thought this was going to be like just a quick.
Mal
Barely. That started off so sweet.
Rory
Just date black men that are homophobic instead of white men that do the joking gay stuff with their friends. The cucumber took it to a whole different. Like, I've been around white friends that do the gay joke stuff. Like that's. That's sort of standard, especially in your 20s. The cucumber gag. I don't know that bit. It's like that's a whole.
Damaris
He fell asleep. We put a carrot in his.
Rory
So they take the cucumber, put it where their dick is and then walk.
Damaris
Up to another friend and he.
Rory
They gag on it.
Julian
I don't think they actually gag, but they like fake.
Damaris
Like it's like the Orlando Brown with the mic thing.
Rory
If they don't gag, that's even gayer that they like are used to.
Julian
They just.
Rory
You can continue with this voice. Sorry, I thought she was overreacting a bit. And hey, you're dating someone that's 25. It'll pass. Ass. I don't know, man. They might each other.
Julian
They might each other. It's funny. All right, go ahead.
Damaris
All right, sorry. I was trying to find the Orlando Brown thing.
Bailey
It becomes then cheating.
Julian
I don't know.
Bailey
If it's a cultural thing, because he is Mexican and I'm African American, so I don't know if that plays a big, you know, part in this or what. But he's saying, you know, I'm. It's a big deal, or I'm making it a big deal, and it's not. He's saying that it's just jokes, and I don't understand because I'm not a man or, you know, whatever. They just, like, try to make each other uncomfortable, and that's just what's funny about it. But I know as a bisexual woman, I don't find it funny. And I'm just like, is he gay?
Julian
I don't know.
Bailey
Or is it just jokes? And what's so funny about this? And even pretending to kiss each other and see which one gets grossed out the fastest. It's just weird, right? So I don't understand. Should I. Am I making it a big deal?
Rory
No, you're not. They're gay.
Julian
Leave him.
Damaris
Gay chicken is crazy.
Julian
They're giving each other prostate exams. Leave.
Mal
Barely. No, they're talking.
Rory
And not for health reasons.
Mal
They're not. You're not taking it too far. Your boyfriend is obviously bisexual, just like you are. And it's okay if you want. You know, if that's what you want. But those games, that's not. Try to kiss me and go get the cucumber and I'll gag on. What is that? What is that Energy? What is that?
Rory
I've. I've made gay jokes to make other people feel uncomfortable, but this is a whole different level. Like, seeing who could kiss each other longer before they get grossed out is. No one's grossed out.
Mal
They're just.
Rory
They just kiss it.
Mal
Yeah. And that's fine. If that's what you are. It's fine. But, like, stop playing the go get the cucumber and gag game. I don't know what that is. That's just crazy. Like, just.
Damaris
They just take casual elephant walks together.
Rory
You know what she should do?
Mal
What is the elephant walk? I don't know.
Damaris
You guys don't know?
Mal
No, no. I mean, I know elephants, yo.
Julian
I'm cracking.
Mal
But what is the elephant walk? I don't know.
Julian
What? I didn't know what a dart was.
Damaris
Oh, God, you guys are all right. So elephant walk, it's, like, popular in, like, fraternities. Basically, you're here, he's a frat boy, right Here, you're blindfolded and naked. Usually called BNB boxes and blindfold. But you're in this case, you're mostly naked and you follow the guy in front of you. You're like crawling in a circle and you're holding the guy in front of you by their like, dick and boss. And you walk around like, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait.
Mal
Hold.
Damaris
You know, you're not always crawling. You could be standing.
Mal
Hold on.
Rory
Yeah, some people have self respect.
Mal
Nobody said a word. What fraternity is this is just like.
Damaris
A common hazing tactic amongst, like, white fraternities.
Mal
Is that what they do to get in Lambda Lambda Lambda?
Damaris
Not. I never did an elephant walk, but there were fraternities on my campus that did elephant walks. It's a thing. It kind of looks like this, but your butt, ass, nature naked.
Rory
Yo. I can assure you guys, if Kappa Alpha fraternity incorporated asked me to grab another man's dick and walk around, you would be looking at a pure civilian right now.
Mal
Yo, yo, man, this is. I'm telling you, man, we got.
Rory
Who came up with that, though? Like, that's.
Mal
These are the questions. These are the podcast topics. Who came up with the elephant walk? Who was the first person that said fellas, like, got it. Grab each other's dick and walk around?
Rory
Cuz they're like, with Kappa.
Damaris
There you go. 1922.
Rory
The fact that they even know the year is an elephant walk started 1922, after the Aggies lost the first two games of their football season. Which, by the way, like, maybe just focus on defense.
Mal
Yeah, like, yeah, I promised the elephant.
Rory
Walk was not going to happen.
Julian
Like, but I think that elephant walk, that's different.
Damaris
Oh, this is like an actual elephant.
Julian
Yeah, that's the actual elephant. That's not the hazy one where you to do it with your dicks tied in a knot.
Mal
Yo, that is crazy.
Rory
CABA is a non hazing organization. It has never hazed. But if they did haze, they're all the stuff has, like, real historical references to it. I'm just not quite sure what grabbing another man's dick could really do with the history of your frat.
Mal
No, it's called buck breaking. Right? Is that what they call it?
Rory
Something like, I learned that because of Andrew Schultz.
Mal
Oh, okay.
Damaris
Yeah.
Julian
Know about that.
Rory
But before, no.
Julian
Oh, wow. See, history, the fact that they try.
Mal
To turn into that.
Julian
Hey, we ain't talking about.
Rory
All right, so I have advice for this. This young lady. Outside of your man definitely being gay, I think you should lean all the way into it and get in on the jokes. But not with your man, but with his friends. Like, if you be part of the crew, if this Is all fun and games. Then let me do the kissing game, which is, man, let me take. Let me take a cucumber and stick it down your throat. Just lean into it. See how funny he finds it when you. When you. When you get involved in the game.
Mal
Yeah, Bailey, you got to have a real conversation with your. With your boyfriend.
Julian
Wendy Williams has a. Has the perfect sound bite for this. And I always just try to send this to girls when they're like, really in denial. But like, this is the. The.
Rory
Lucy, stop it.
Julian
Denial is a river in Egypt. Your husband is gay.
Rory
He's. He's. Guys, if you. Wendy will. When I was a kid, Wendy Williams had a gay list. Do you remember that? She walked around with folded paper of. Of gay men in the industry.
Julian
Was Diddy on it, though?
Damaris
I'm sure he's probably the list.
Rory
Yeah, yeah.
Julian
I mean, top of the list hindsight is 20 20. Like, if we go back when these gay list, like, was Diddy on.
Rory
On it, I'mma sound too woke or whatever. But why was that a thing? Like, why was it this crazy if somebody was gay and Wendy is now.
Julian
Like, you know why. Back in the day, it was a big thing. Let's not act like homophobia was not insane back then.
Mal
I don't even think it was. But then why gay part? I think it was people that were down low. Yeah, that was like, yo, why are y'all business? Is that just come out the closet. Like, you sitting here, like, would I.
Rory
Have to do that for so I can appease Wendy Williams?
Mal
No, no, I agree with you, but I'm just saying that's more. So what it was was guys that were.
Damaris
Because.
Rory
Because Wendy. And I mean prayers to her because I know her health is not in great shape, but she started to go more on the woker side of things. Like, we not gonna remember when you were homophobic as trying to like out men for being gay. Like, what was wrong with that? Yeah, explain to me why that. That should be a thing then. Wendy, if you're so progressive, you're not gay.
Damaris
Okay? So this. This poor. There's a poor caller here. Her gay Mexican boyfriend. What. What do we do here?
Mal
Do they tell them, hey, listen, it's not funny. Is there a conversation you want to have? Something you want to tell me?
Damaris
What if she asked one of her homeboy, one of his friends was like, again, if she has to be open and into this, be like, oh, why don't we like have a three some. If you're really about it, let me you with one of your friends?
Rory
I mean, I said just participate in the games, but if you want to take it to the next level. Sure.
Damaris
Since you want to play with his dick so bad, let's each other.
Mal
And she says she's bisexual too, right? Okay.
Rory
But they're all men.
Julian
I'm reading the list. I'm sorry. Wendy's Williams list. And she's writing off everybody downright. She said it says, of course, Will Smith. Everybody else, his name is just their name. And it says of course Will Smith. That is hilarious.
Damaris
Who else is on it?
Julian
Busta, Red man and Method Man. But I think Method man broke her heart. That's probably how he made it bust.
Rory
Did some real foul to his wife.
Julian
Yeah, Busta Meth.
Rory
Red man and Method man are not gay.
Julian
Busta. How you know?
Rory
Fair. Okay.
Julian
Busta Redman, Method Man, Q Tip. Puffy does it for control. I think Dr. Dre is straight ahead of her time.
Damaris
Smoke that.
Julian
Dr. Dre is straight up living a big lie. Tyrese hit six Cisco for coming onto him in the studio. I think MC like hit him or hit him for coming on to him. I think MC Light is still with Pam from Martin. Russell Simmons throws gay parties. I heard things about LL too. Marlon Wayne's not Sean like you would think. Of course, Will Smith, Tyson Beckford, Chris Weber, Steve Francis. Mobley guy from Houston. Damien from Portland. This is the Mobley.
Damaris
Just saying Mobley guy from Houston.
Rory
That's a deep cut.
Damaris
Is hilarious.
Rory
Just Katino Mobley on that list is.
Mal
No, she didn't say Katino Moble. We just said Mobley guy from Houston.
Rory
Of the Houston Rockets at that time. So Steve Francis and Casino Mobley were.
Damaris
They have great chemistry.
Julian
Yeah.
Rory
Amazing backcourt.
Julian
And then she says there's a crew of bisexual actresses that hang out together. Most of them are married. They include Jada Pinkett, Jasmine Guy, Cree Summer, Tashina Arnold, Tisha Campbell. Debbie. Debbie Allen, who apparently turned out the whole cast of A Different World. I'm not believing that about Debbie Allen.
Mal
Wow.
Julian
Y'all not gonna have that.
Rory
Debbie, I just said Red man is not gay. And you said, how you know?
Julian
But Debbie Allen turning out the whole cast.
Rory
I'm pretty sure.
Julian
World.
Mal
How you know that?
Julian
You're right. I didn't say she wasn't. I just said I don't want to believe it. I'm not reading that.
Mal
Read it.
Julian
No. Something about Beyonce. Alicia Keys does, I repeat, does have a boyfriend. Whether or not it's a cover up, I don't know. But the Both of them seem really serious about each other.
Damaris
The shot of Beyonce had nothing to do with her sexual preference.
Julian
No, it wasn't.
Rory
What did it have to do with?
Damaris
Her breath?
Mal
Oh, that.
Rory
I mean but that's been a thing.
Julian
Yeah, I didn't know that that was a thing. And I'm not reading that Kelly Rowland is a nice person, but I think she's a lesbian.
Damaris
Why does that matter? Why does that change your opinion?
Julian
Well, because this was back back in the day. Like it wasn't cute and like people got made fun of for being lesbians.
Damaris
Like it wasn't like a cute Kelly Rowland type lesbian. You're all right.
Rory
What type of lesbian is that?
Damaris
A good looking one.
Rory
Okay, got so you're. Yeah.
Damaris
There's a double standard. Yeah, we all are pretty. Lesbians are obviously more favored in the culture.
Rory
Or T. Taylor looked like a bad on Saturday night.
Damaris
Taylor. We don't have to single her out.
Julian
I have one D friend. I'm not. I'm not.
Damaris
I'm not throwing that out there. I'm just.
Rory
I voted for Obama.
Damaris
He voted against gay marriage.
Mal
None of these people.
Rory
Who on that list gay?
Julian
Well, I don't know. Half these people I don't know.
Damaris
This sounds pretty well researched and like honest and I feel like Maul just.
Rory
Cuz Q Tip has a high voice doesn't mean he's gay.
Mal
I don't think that's why she said yeah. I don't think it was the voices.
Rory
Yeah, he made bonita apple bomb. He did that wasn't about a dude you don't know.
Julian
Did he need May I need a girl?
Mal
He didn't write that.
Rory
That was. That was Loon's work. Lou needed a girl.
Mal
He didn't write that.
Rory
Yeah, I'm sure there's a bunch of truth to that. Wendy knew her but she also did a bunch of and lied a lot.
Mal
So saying the Mobley guy from Houston is still funny though.
Rory
Insane.
Mal
Like you couldn't just say Katina Mobley Mobley guy.
Rory
I never heard Steve Francis was. This is. Who cares. Shout out to Katina Mobley. Do we have another voicemail?
Mal
If you want to stay.
Rory
There's nothing wrong with.
Julian
Wait, wait, wait, wait. One more, one more, one more. Allen Iverson is ruled. He told us he hated white girls and refused to tip one at the strip club one night.
Rory
I love that.
Julian
I believe that.
Rory
That sounds right there.
Damaris
Yeah, that sounds like AI.
Mal
Yeah. They ain't putting no gay shit on his jacket.
Rory
He was ahead of head of his time.
Julian
Yo.
Damaris
He's on the answer right there. All right, the next one I'm about to play is from a new batch that came in over the last couple days. I haven't heard it, so let's just see what happens.
Mal
Yo, Julian, you don't have to put this on the show, but we won't.
Damaris
Next one, because that's usually not a good start. All right, here we go.
Mal
Yo, this is B Wrecker out of Cleveland, and I'm gonna get my money's worth.
Rory
Okay?
Mal
All right, I got two questions totally unrelated. Number one, y'all are New Yorkers. So y'all seen some things, y'all heard some things? Not me. Jesus. What's the most unattractive accent y'all ever heard on a female foreigner or. Or domestic. It don't matter. And question number two, top three Biggie features. Not. Not singles, not album cuts. Features. Where he is the guest. It's the top three.
Damaris
Rory.
Mal
Ma, I'm really. I really want to hear.
Rory
He didn't do a lot of opinions on it.
Mal
All right, I'm out.
Rory
Oh.
Mal
P.S. the reason our team is called the Guardians is because of the Hope Memorial Bridge. Bridge statues on that joint are called Guardians.
Rory
Look it up.
Mal
All right, peace.
Damaris
Some Cleveland history right there.
Mal
Top three Biggie features.
Rory
What do you want to do? The first part or Biggie first?
Mal
What was the first part?
Damaris
Least attractive female accent. What part of the country world? What's, like, the worst?
Mal
Oh, I like all accents. I just love anything that doesn't sound like my own hometown. I. I appreciate.
Rory
I hate to say Baltimore is definitely up there, but there's. There's something charming about it.
Mal
That's what I'm saying.
Rory
I just don't know how long.
Mal
I just think it's dope to hear.
Rory
It'd be cute for a while.
Mal
Different accent, like, speak. It's like, okay.
Rory
At St. Peter's they had, like. Remember I told you guys? They had, like, weird Eastern European exchange students that live there year round. Those girls. Sometimes it was a little weird. Like, I don't know how long a.
Damaris
Proper Eastern European is. Like, also, like, scary and intimidating and.
Rory
Like, when I was in high school, I watched, like, the Sopranos and all the strippers had that accident accent that's not accurate to real life. Those Eastern European women sounded like men. One of my. My freshman year roommate. I'm not going to say his name because I'm about to reveal something. He was one of them. And we used to, you know, we. We would have a system if somebody was getting some like, you just chill in the hallway.
Mal
Take a walk, man.
Rory
Danny was next door. Yo. He's in there doing that.
Mal
That.
Rory
But this is also Jersey City in 2008. The infrastructure of the buildings, the walls were pretty thin.
Mal
Yeah.
Rory
Yo, when she used to moan. And I wish I would do the impression, but I would have to say his name. Pause.
Julian
No, do it, Sylvester.
Rory
Like, she would yell that throughout the hallways. And we. Yo, when I tell you. Oh, AI. We would be dying laughing outside that. Yo, what is he doing to her?
Mal
He was either bunker. That's who he was.
Rory
Yeah. Eastern European. I forgot which, like, part they were from, but. Oh, they were. And, like, her voice would go in and out, too. I don't know if that was part of the accent, but the volume on her voice, even when she just spoke.
Mal
Yeah.
Rory
Would go in and out like. Like, you know when. Like a headphone cord, like, connect all the time. That's how she would talk.
Mal
That's hilarious. So that's probably what was the second part of his.
Julian
Your top three Biggie features.
Mal
Top three Biggie features. Well, it's Bone and Biggie.
Rory
Biggie wasn't Notorious thugs on Life After.
Mal
Death, though, was it?
Rory
Yeah, I don't think that's.
Julian
We only.
Mal
Oh, so not his. Yeah, okay, so. Okay. I see what you.
Damaris
Flavor in your ears.
Mal
Yeah, flavor in your ear, obviously.
Rory
Mine Real love the remix.
Mal
The joint with 112. Only you.
Julian
Yeah, I'm going to go with Crush on you.
Mal
And wait, was he on only you? Was Big on. Was that only you?
Julian
He had one with them, but I don't know if it was only you.
Damaris
Yep, you're right.
Julian
It was. Yeah.
Mal
Total. Can't you see? That's definitely one of Big's best features for me.
Rory
Okay. All right. We're naming Lock lot here. Brooklyn's finest. Number one for sure for me.
Mal
Rest in peace, clock.
Rory
Are we. Are we going to count the ones post death?
Damaris
I traditionally do not count those.
Rory
Yeah.
Mal
Because I don't know if Big would have.
Rory
Yeah, okay.
Mal
Brooklyn's finest might have tweaked the verse like a ball.
Damaris
What's that one, though, that he does have post that? That I love. It's on that Nelly album. He goes. I go on and on and on.
Rory
That was a remix of a Big song that was. Right.
Mal
Yeah.
Rory
But I like the Biggie Duets was all songs we'd heard. They just remixed them.
Damaris
Yeah.
Rory
Just added features to it. Like, Nasty Girl was a. Yeah, Nasty Girl. That was from Life After Death. They just remixed it and threw Nelly on it like I like 1970 something with game. But it's on Ready to Die already. It's the outro to Ready to Die too. Total only. I don't know what my number three would be.
Julian
You said Real Love remix.
Rory
I don't know if that's over. Some of the Junior Mafia, like, grab your titties. If you love hip hop. That's technically a. A feature. No Junior Mafia. He wasn't in Junior Mafia. It's featuring Big.
Julian
Yeah, that makes sense.
Rory
Victory Big does have more features than I. I remembered. I felt like he never did features.
Mal
All right, well, it was a cool. I love the dough too with Jay.
Rory
That's on Life After Death, though.
Mal
Oh, not his song.
Rory
Yeah.
Damaris
Damaris. Back to the first question. Is there a male accent or region of the world that you can't stand?
Julian
Y'all know I don't. I'm not a fan of the innates.
Damaris
Oh, yeah, that's true. You do hate them.
Julian
I do not hate them. I just don't like the accent.
Mal
British?
Julian
Yeah, I hate British accents. I'm like the only girl in the world who does. Because everybody I know loves, they're like, oh my God. British boys. Brit boy. I'm like, I hate that accent. I can't even listen to him talk.
Rory
I love it on women. You didn't like when Gigs was here. I feel like that's your type.
Julian
Gigs is. Why do you think that? You think every dark skinned man that walk in here is my type? Gigs is not my type.
Rory
First of all, all dark skinned men that have possibly committed crime in the past.
Mal
There you go.
Rory
Forgot to add the second part of it.
Julian
Gigs is a sweetie pie. But no, that accent. I could not listen. You. I can't. Oh my God. No, really?
Damaris
Really. I don't mind UK accent at all to listen to. It's not like annoying when he talks.
Julian
If imagine now imagine him, you.
Damaris
I wouldn't do that.
Rory
I have not thought of it.
Damaris
Not gonna imagine that. Doesn't cross my mind.
Mal
Well, then go get the cucumber and do that.
Damaris
Where's homie? The Mexican friends. Yeah. Where are they at?
Rory
Bring the Mexicans, bring gigs and let's have a party.
Julian
Bring the Mexicans, bring gigs. Let's have. But yeah, no, that's. That's my least favorite accent. But the best accent, especially our men and women, is Louisiana. That. That New Orleans. New Orleans.
Rory
I know. I like it. Don't get me wrong.
Julian
Louisiana women. Oh my God. Toya, Luane, baby mama. You ever heard talk?
Rory
Of course Texas is good, too.
Julian
Ah, I'm cool.
Rory
All of the south is all right with me, to be quite honest. I love a Southern accent. Yeah, Florida gets a little weird, but I don't think Florida's the South. I think it's a different country.
Mal
Did you ever see them? It's a video out, and I forgot the lady that did it, and she actually ties in, like, a lot of the accents and how they originated. That was very dope video. If you haven't seen that, like, check that out.
Rory
Have you ever dealt with, like, a German chick? I never have, so I assume that would be, like, aggressive.
Damaris
Damn.
Rory
Feel like sex would feel anti Semitic without even bringing up the Jew.
Mal
Just because of their accent.
Rory
Yeah, I like Russian. All her reactions to Dick would sound like Hitler to me.
Julian
Russian accents are, like, nice on women. I like women with Russian accents and Transylvanian accents. Like, the ones who smell sound like vampires. I like that accent.
Rory
Too many underground strip clubs and poker accents.
Julian
Wait, is Transylvania real? It is, right? It's a real place. Yeah. I like, like, that accent from that corner of the world where it's like, they sound like vampires.
Mal
What was your favorite movie growing up?
Julian
Bad Boys 2. Titanic, Bram Stoker's dragon.
Mal
Bad Boys 2.
Damaris
You.
Mal
That's like when homie said Busta Rhymes is his favorite rapper.
Julian
How is. Bad Boys 2 is an amazing movie, especially when you're a kid.
Rory
Yeah.
Mal
But for a woman to say that's one of her favorite movies, that's just like.
Julian
Yeah, I know that movie. Like, I could perform it, like, as a monologue.
Damaris
Oh, that's.
Rory
There's a love story there too.
Julian
It's an amazing movie. You don't.
Mal
I love Bad Boys too. I'm not saying that, but Bad Boys. I never heard a woman say, no. That's one of my favorite movies.
Julian
That's my favorite movie.
Rory
You liked it till you saw Wendy Williams Gay List, and then you were like, I can't. I can't with this.
Mal
No, I like Bad.
Damaris
Of course, Will Smith.
Julian
I'm a huge Will Smith fan, though. But even before, like, that's probably one of the reasons why I am a huge wolf.
Mal
How come you never play none of his new music?
Julian
I mean, it's not really for me.
Damaris
Oh, he put out a new record.
Julian
I don't think I'm his target audience.
Damaris
Every time he puts out a new song.
Mal
You don't think his biggest fans are his.
Damaris
His target audience audience every time he puts out a new record?
Mal
You just said you're his biggest fan.
Julian
I said One of his biggest fans of, like, his acting.
Mal
Yeah. So you're his target audience. Oh, no, you didn't say of his acting. You said, will you like Will Smith?
Julian
I do like Will Smith. I even like the song he did with Bad Bunny and. And Mark Anthony. Like, that's one of my. That was, like, one of my favorite songs of that year, and I feel like it didn't get a play, but I don't really like this mall.
Damaris
You're bugging if you're not feeling this new track.
Mal
Holding me ransom why does my fear control me at random? Life can get get ugly But I'm handsome I'm about to face all the I've been running from. You might relate to the places I'm coming from. I've been through trauma I thought I'd recover from. I got regrets.
Damaris
You heard about some of them.
Rory
I like Russ's verse on their song.
Damaris
That'S a shot at you, mom.
Julian
I hate to be the thing that people suffer from.
Rory
I'm flattered when I. When the. That happens.
Damaris
You didn't even pee Maul.
Mal
I didn't. My first time seeing that. Thank you.
Julian
He's got it.
Damaris
He's back.
Julian
He. The crazy is, though, is that Will Smith is not a bad rapper. He's still nice.
Damaris
He could do 50,000 in Africa.
Rory
You think he's writing that?
Damaris
Hell no.
Mal
They don't think that.
Rory
I could hear a Simba flow a mile away.
Mal
They don't think so.
Julian
Did Simba tell you that he wrote that?
Rory
I have not spoken to Sim.
Julian
Okay, so until then, Will wrote it.
Rory
The same way they bite child's drums. They bite Simba Lucas flow.
Mal
This is who's on that song with him?
Damaris
I. I think that's Joyner, Lucas.
Mal
Oh, Joiner wrote.
Rory
Oh, then Joyner wrote it. Yeah.
Damaris
This sound, I was gonna. The flow. Is it Joyner, Lucas flow?
Mal
Yeah, Joyner wrote that.
Julian
I think Will wrote it.
Mal
Let me promise you what Will didn't do.
Julian
You think Will can't write?
Mal
I think Will didn't write that record.
Julian
Why?
Mal
Because Will's not writing raps anymore.
Julian
Why do you think that?
Mal
Because Will has never rapped like that.
Julian
Just because you change the way that you rap doesn't mean that you're no longer writing how you rap.
Mal
That's exactly what I was gonna say when you're 60 years old. Exactly what that means, bro.
Julian
He can change his flow. It's not hard to change, but.
Mal
No, you don't change your flow at 60 Damaris.
Damaris
Why not?
Julian
He's not Gonna go on that beat and try to rap like he did in.
Mal
He's not gonna go on that beat. He's gonna show up to the studio, having that record sent to him two weeks prior and lay his vocals all right.
Rory
Outside. He's not writing that Summertime era. Has Will Smith ever wrote his raps?
Mal
I don't think so. That's what I'm saying.
Julian
Yes, he did. Whoever told you that Will Smith didn't write his raps?
Mal
Well, he wrote.
Rory
Willems was written by Nas. That's on record. You said what was Willennium. That album. That's great.
Julian
The entire record was written by.
Rory
Most of it is from Nas. Yeah.
Damaris
And that's from 99.
Julian
Okay, let's go to the writing credits.
Rory
There's nothing wrong with that.
Julian
Let's just confirm, because when was the.
Rory
Last time that Will was really writing his raps?
Julian
Last time Will was really writing was really fucking rapping.
Rory
I'm not discrediting him. I'm just asking.
Mal
You wrote Getting Jiggy with It.
Julian
I think he wrote his bars. I don't think he wrote the chorus.
Damaris
He wrote the na na na na na na na.
Julian
No, I think the sample.
Mal
Was it the Ill. N N N N, N, N N N N. That's a great hook.
Rory
Don't do that.
Julian
Like thinking that Will Smith just became.
Rory
A big rapper because Nas. Nas wrote all of Getting Jiggy With It. This is confirmed.
Mal
That's why I just asked her that. That's exactly why I just asked.
Damaris
You destroyed Damaris's whole ton and poke.
Rory
Produced it with Nas. He wrote the entire thing.
Julian
So it says Nas wrote it. And Will Smith is nowhere. Name isn't named on the right writing credits. Is that what you're telling me?
Rory
I mean, I'm sure his name is there. He's Will Smith.
Mal
Will Smith doesn't write. It's okay. He. Nobody's expecting him to write rhymes. Just keep giving us great films.
Julian
So how did Will Smith. Because he came in this game as a writer, literally. So how did.
Rory
He just bit Julian.
Julian
How did real Smith. He just was cute and they were like, damn, you should be like a rapper.
Damaris
Well, at the time he was on the show.
Rory
First of all, I was saying, I don't know. The last time he wrote his rhymes outside. Outside of the Summertime era, he may have written it then. Jazzy Jeff could have wrote it.
Damaris
True.
Rory
Also, that was way less taboo back then than it became. Yeah, like rapper's delight. None of them wrote those lyrics. Eazy E didn't write anything. They were like, you're the guy that could sell this better than anyone. We'll write it for you. That was pretty fucking regular back in the day. Ghostwriting wasn't like this whole, holy, you don't write your rhymes thing. That happened later. So, yeah, I don't think it's weird to think that maybe Jazzy Jeff wrote All of Summertime.
Julian
Will Smith was addicted to being a. He wanted to be a rapper really, really bad. I don't think he was a good one. I don't think he yet. So that. Okay, but nobody's saying that. Everybody's like, oh, everybody always wrote Will Smith's rhymes. Like Billy Vanilli.
Rory
I was giving him the Summertime era. I said after that, because I know for a fact we had Ton and Poke on this podcast. Podcast. That whole Millennium era. The fucking Men in Black shit. All that was Nas.
Julian
Well, when Men in Black sounds like it was written by somebody else, but we ain't gonna discredit Will Smith. Like, he can't write.
Mal
Why does that sound like it was written by somebody else but not getting jiggy with it?
Julian
I didn't say getting jiggy with it. Didn't sound like it was written by somebody else. I'm just saying that I don't think somebody wrote the entire thing for him. That was all I was saying.
Mal
It's okay. Will doesn't write his shit. It's all right.
Julian
Nobody's expecting that. I just felt like it's disrespectful to say that he doesn't write his shit. He's never written his shit. So now that he.
Mal
I'm not saying never rapping.
Julian
He's not writing.
Mal
Okay, bring it back to the original. That verse that we just listened to. Will Smith didn't attempt to write that. He got that record sent to him and said, what time is the session? I'll be there. He laid his vocals. He didn't write that. And it's okay. I'm not expecting Will Smith to write bars.
Julian
Fine.
Mal
I'm. I'm mad. He's still rapping. Let's keep. Let's start there. I would never rap again if I was Will Smith. You kidding me?
Julian
Well, he. Obviously.
Rory
If you're at this point in your career, why not, like, just do what makes you happy and you're passionate.
Julian
I've always been passionate about rapping, like, from the very beginning, man. So why would you not continue to do something you love when you have nothing to lose?
Mal
Yeah, but it's just. We just. Just go enjoy life man, it's not.
Rory
Like you don't need these bars. Will Smith, people want to hear him.
Julian
You don't, but that's fine. Other people.
Mal
Nobody wants to hear Will Smith rapping.
Julian
I bet that video fan.
Mal
And you don't want to hear him rapping.
Damaris
198,000 people liked it.
Mal
Yeah, they.
Damaris
They want to hear means they at least acknowledge.
Rory
I don't know if I'd go to streaming to listen to a Will Smith song, but on Instagram, if I saw a real with a Will Smith verse, I'm gonna stay for the minute 30.
Mal
Yeah, cuz you want to laugh.
Damaris
No, I send him in the group every time.
Mal
All right, man, it, man. No, no, it. I'm the bad guy. It. All right, man. Everybody go. Go stream that Will Smith. Join a Lucas joint, man.
Rory
That verse he put on that rust record was one of the funny his verses of 2024.
Mal
Nobody wants to hear Will Smith rapping. His biggest fan sitting right here. She don't want to hear it.
Rory
His biggest fan.
Mal
All right. She said she's his biggest fan.
Julian
I did not say I'm his biggest f. All he do is lie.
Mal
What did you just say?
Julian
I said I'm a big fan. I'm a huge fan of Will Smith. I didn't say I'm his biggest fan. I did not.
Mal
You say you're one of his biggest fans.
Julian
That's ex.
Rory
That's exactly what you just said.
Mal
What the are we talking about?
Rory
Can't prove that.
Julian
No.
Mal
All right, man. Never mind.
Rory
Did you guys see that clip of Denzel? Denzel yesterday? I didn't know Denzel was in Mount Vernon, like, robbing people. They asked Denzel what? What? I forgot what director it was. Stanley Cooper. What's your favorite Stanley Cooper movie?
Mal
And he's Stanley Cooper or Stanley.
Julian
Stanley Kubrick.
Mal
Stanley Kubrick, Yeah.
Rory
Pardon me. I wasn't born in the 70s. They asked him what his favorite movie was. He said he wasn't really a movie buff like that. He didn't really go to the movies. And he at that time, time in the 70s, was standing outside the movie theater robbing anyone that came out gangster. I didn't know. Yeah, I wasn't familiar with Denzel like that.
Mal
Yeah, back in those days, that was.
Rory
Common, man, that you'd be robbed by Denzel Washington.
Mal
I mean, you seen the homie of Mike Tyson when the Jay Paul, he went back. Mike Tyson went back to the hood, and the dude told me, yeah, you robbed me coming out of Woolworth one time. We was kids. It Happens, man.
Rory
Okay, Have a pass, people. Like when you, God said Mike Tyson robbed his mom, I wasn't like, damn, that shocks me, cuz Mike Tyson's a fighter. A troubled youth in Brownsville. Didn't. Didn't shock me.
Mal
Okay.
Rory
And how he even got into boxing was being arrested and being. Yeah, like that whole story. No, I didn't know that Denzel was strapped up in Mount Vernon robbing everyone when he was 22 years old. I just didn't know that he was. I thought he was like the face of the Boys and Girls Girls club.
Mal
He was 22. Oh, I saw that at 22 he was robbing people. Yes, he was acting at 22.
Rory
He said he started acting at 20. And that was around the same time.
Julian
Oh, I'm leaving here with some.
Damaris
Here's the clip of an interview.
Rory
And I decided to go with my Kubrick shirt so I could ask everyone if they have a favorite Kubrick movie.
Mal
I'm not a movie buff.
Julian
No.
Mal
I'm not a big movie fan. I was in the street when he was making movies. He's what was, was, was the ones in the 70s. Yeah, yeah. I'd be the one outside looking to rob you when you came out of a Kubrick movie. Okay. So I wasn't a real film buff. I. I didn't start acting until I was 20 years old and didn't start really going to the movies till I was 20, 22, 23. It's.
Rory
That surprised me. I wasn't.
Mal
That is surprised.
Rory
I wasn't aware of his game.
Mal
Yeah, I know. I knew Denzel was definitely from the hood and I didn't know he was.
Rory
I mean, Mount Vernon is Mount Vernon. Yeah.
Mal
I didn't know he was getting in there like that. Yeah, well, that's the money earning part. Gotta go earn money.
Rory
Didn't they kind of like promote Denzel as like the son of a preacher and like they were like the staple of the community and positive, A positive family. I don't know. He had a mask on going like he's. So he's not acting in Training Day.
Mal
No method. And if you will, he's drawn from real life experiences in that part. Yeah, I like hearing like that though. Let us know that you had a real past.
Julian
What's your favorite Stanley Kubrick movie? Do you guys have one?
Mal
No.
Julian
Eyes Wide Shut would be mine. If any of you guys are not you guys, but listeners, I like Eyes Wide Shut. Eyes Wide Shut is good.
Rory
I haven't seen Eyes Wide Shut in a while.
Damaris
Yeah, the Shining Is a tough out for me.
Mal
No, Full Metal Jacket was good.
Rory
Do you think they sacrificed their baby at the end of Eyes? Watch it.
Mal
No, no. Is that like a rabbit hole you went down on YouTube?
Rory
No, I was watching them. I think it may have been like a Rogan interview. I forgot who he was interviewing. That the original. Because he ended up dying before the movie was put out. In the original script, with that scene when they're going away from the baby, it's showing that they did sacrifice their baby. That is the true ending of that movie.
Damaris
I need to revisit Eyes Wide Shut. It's been a very long time.
Mal
Yeah.
Rory
I want to just read the puff paperwork. Same thing, just with Matt.
Damaris
Lolita is a classic. Just want to give that. It's a proper shout out.
Rory
Shining is Great.
Damaris
Great book.
Rory
2001 on the low is. Is pretty good.
Julian
I've never seen that one.
Rory
Clockwork Orange. Maybe I had to be there. I don't love it the way, like, my dad, like, reveres it and it's cool, don't get me wrong, but it's like one of those classics that I just never really got fully into. It's cool.
Julian
That's how Kia felt about when we watched atl.
Rory
Clockwork. It's the same thing.
Mal
ATL is a classic.
Rory
It is a classic. It's my Clockwork Orange.
Mal
Okay. All right. Well, you guys have fun at the Dreamville tonight. Hope you have plenty of dreams and your dreams come true. True. And Rory, I. I guess you're going to watch it on the stream.
Rory
Yeah. I love that album.
Mal
Yeah, no, it's a great album. Classic album.
Rory
Does he do the same set with the house on the side or a.
Damaris
Whole new thousand percent? Going to be the same, man.
Rory
It's a 10 year anniversary. Got to do something different than just redo the tour.
Damaris
No, don't change a single thing. He'll have dreads now. That's the difference.
Mal
That is the difference.
Julian
Yo, Ma, look, mama.
Mal
What?
Julian
Just.
Mal
I said that is the difference. He didn't have dreads last time when he was sitting on the roof.
Julian
Yeah, like that.
Mal
He was just starting to. He's just growing his throat right there, look.
Julian
Yeah, so I think I'm gonna. I don't know. I think I'm gonna cry. No, I'm definitely gonna cry. I don't think I'm gonna cry.
Mal
You gonna try to meet some new dick at a J. Cole show?
Julian
Well, why'd you.
Rory
I think that'd be a good place.
Julian
Why'd you frame it like that?
Damaris
He tried to set her up with one of the fiends before.
Rory
That's true.
Damaris
A couple times, actually.
Mal
Yeah. I don't love Dominican Damaris.
Rory
Yes.
Julian
I tried to set me up with a fiend they hate. They don't like me.
Mal
What we talking about?
Damaris
These are good people, the fiends.
Mal
What are we talking about, man?
Damaris
It's true.
Rory
I got an interesting text from somebody based off a conversation that Damaris and I were having on this pod or Patreon. I forgot what it was about. Your love life. He hit me. Like, confirmed. She does like me. I'm still blocking because I care about Damaris. I think he's a great guy.
Julian
I just don't assume that was about him. How did he assume that that was about him? Him?
Rory
It was pretty obvious. And I wasn't talking. Like, I didn't think he would hear it, but whatever. Yeah, I still stand by. I'm not going to do that to my friends. I think he's an amazing guy, and if he ends up being single, I'll be. I'll be the third wheel.
Mal
Wait, so if he ends up being single. So he's not single now.
Julian
He's in a relationship.
Mal
And Damaris. You was trying to hook Damaris up with him?
Rory
No, it's the opposite.
Mal
The Maris wanted. You hook him up with. He hook her up with him.
Rory
He has a crush on Damaris.
Damaris
Trying to line up his neck.
Rory
And then I later found out that, you know, she didn't have a crush on him, but found him attractive. Dude.
Julian
Yeah.
Rory
Definitely her type and a. A great guy, but I'm not about to, like. I don't want to get involved. No.
Mal
He got a girl.
Rory
Yeah. That's why I'm not. I'm not. I care about Damaris.
Mal
Yeah. Yeah, yeah.
Rory
If I didn't, I'd be like, yo, you should beat.
Damaris
You should that home up be a home record.
Rory
Go ahead and beat.
Julian
It's like, no. And I appreciate Rory looking out for me. That's. That's dope.
Mal
That's dope. If it doesn't work, man, have fun at Forest Hills. Madison Square Gardens.
Rory
I think that's a good place to find a decent man.
Julian
Gonna be full of my type.
Damaris
She'll be back in something, you know, you can expect from me. Mall a new photo on invisal lens. I'm gonna bring my camera. Something's gonna get shot tonight, respectfully, with a camera.
Rory
That caption is gonna. Wow. Can't believe it's been 10 years.
Julian
Oh, my God.
Rory
Like, I was just there on January 28th.
Damaris
Around the decade I.
Mal
Listen, I'm not bringing it up after this. I just need to know the date one more time. What was the date at Dreamville when he made the speech?
Julian
April 5th.
Mal
April 5th. All right, cool. Just gotta remember that date. I just want to remember that date, that's all. All right, well, have fun tonight.
Damaris
Why?
Mal
I just need to remember that day. I forgot what date that happened.
Damaris
Why do you need to know that? That.
Mal
That was. That was a. Yeah, that was a big day in hip hop. That was a big deal in hip hop. All right, well, have fun tonight, man. I'm sure it's gonna be a great show, and we'll hear about it.
Julian
Oh, the seventh. Not the. Not the fourth.
Mal
April 7th. Yeah, okay. April 7th. All right, well, I'm sure you'll be streaming.
Rory
Yeah, I like watching concerts on stream.
Mal
All right, well, have fun tonight. Be safe, be blessed. We'll talk to y'all soon.
Rory
We'll see y'all little sister. Little. Later tonight.
Mal
I'm. That Nick.
Damaris
He's just there.
Mal
Peace, man.
Rory
No worrying, Mouth.
Podcast Summary: New Rory & MAL - Episode 329 | Can I Touch You?
Release Date: December 17, 2024
Host/Authors: iHeartPodcasts and The Volume
Duration: Approximately 2 hours
The episode kicks off with Rory and Mal embracing the holiday spirit, sharing light-hearted banter about Frank Sinatra’s Christmas music. Rory humorously recounts nearly lighting a studio drink fire after being inspired by Sinatra, emphasizing their love for traditional holidays.
Rory [00:26]: "We are back. Top of the week, middle of December. Holiday season."
Rory narrates his experience taking his daughter Amara to see Santa, highlighting the chaos and Amara’s overwhelming reaction to the multitude of children.
Rory [02:05]: "She was cool in line, and then the moment we got right up to Santa, she just started losing her shit."
The hosts humorously critique the traditional portrayal of Santa as a white figure, with Mal adding sarcasm about the randomness of Santa’s appearance.
Mal [02:56]: "It's a weird job if you think about it."
Rory and Mal reflect on their recent live show at Gramercy Theater in New York City, expressing gratitude towards attendees from platforms like Patreon and Discord. They share amusing stories from the meet and greet, including a fan attempting to bestow a "strongest knees award" on Mal, which Mal handles gracefully.
Mal [05:23]: "If he hadn’t been here, we'd have had a different experience."
The hosts introduce a recurring segment featuring the youngest person in the audience. This episode features Michael from Brooklyn’s Marcy Projects, who surprisingly names Busta Rhymes as his favorite rapper instead of the expected Jay Z.
Rory [07:16]: "He’s from Marcy Projects."
They play snippets of various songs to gauge Michael’s familiarity, leading to playful ribbing when Michael struggles to recognize some tracks.
Mal [10:03]: "I have never heard Busta Rhymes as someone's favorite rapper ever."
A significant portion of the episode delves into recent allegations against Jay Z involving an alleged rape case. Rory presents the case details, questioning its credibility based on inconsistencies and the victim's account.
Rory [24:03]: "Once that gets on your jacket, it's kind of over, no matter what the evidence really is."
Mal supports Rory’s skepticism, criticizing the legal representation and the swift nature of the accusations.
Mal [29:30]: "Tony Busby should not be allowed to practice law anywhere in the country."
The discussion emphasizes the importance of due process and the dangers of false allegations tarnishing reputations.
Rory and Mal navigate through personal relationship topics, particularly focusing on Rory’s interactions with Cardi B and Offset. They humorously debate the future of Rory’s relationship, especially in the context of leaked text messages.
Rory [32:20]: "Would you want to achieve that?"
The conversation underscores the challenges of maintaining relationships in the public eye, blending humor with candid insights.
The hosts shift focus to upcoming music events, notably Dreamville Fest and Rolling Loud in Miami. They discuss ticket sales strategies, festival lineups, and express excitement about the performances.
Rory [73:00]: "If I didn't have my plus one ticket, I would have been out there dancing with the fans."
They also touch upon past experiences at similar events, sharing anecdotes that highlight the vibrant festival atmosphere.
A lively debate ensues as Rory, Mal, Damaris, and Julian critique Billboard’s curated Top 10 Miami anthems. They argue over song placements, cultural representations, and the authenticity of the selected tracks, suggesting alternatives that they believe better capture Miami’s musical essence.
Mal [46:49]: "And they put together and curated a top 10 get up anthem for the city of Miami that speaks to the city and the culture of Miami."
Their passionate discourse reflects differing tastes and perspectives on what constitutes the quintessential Miami sound.
Damaris brings up a trending topic about a TikTok influencer, "Cooking with Kaya," rumored to have a leaked sex tape. The conversation explores the impact of such rumors on influencer careers and the broader implications for social media platforms.
Damaris [61:00]: "She's blown up on TikTok. She has a couple million followers now."
The hosts also speculate on TikTok’s impending shutdown, contemplating the future of digital influencers and content creation.
Julian [62:03]: "I just wondering what these people are going to do, because Instagram doesn't..."
The podcast delves into sensitive social issues, particularly focusing on consent in various settings like barber shops and medical examinations. Rory and Mal share their discomfort with certain practices, sparking a broader conversation about boundaries and societal norms.
Rory [66:46]: "I have a lot going on right now, but I still feel like I'd remember that."
They critique the necessity and execution of consent inquiries in professional environments, blending humor with critical analysis.
A heated debate arises around Will Smith’s involvement in rap music, specifically questioning whether he writes his own lyrics or employs ghostwriters. The hosts analyze his recent works, debating the authenticity and craftsmanship behind his music.
Rory [87:00]: "He just bit Julian."
Mal supports the notion that Will Smith does not write his raps, while Julian defends Smith’s capabilities, leading to a spirited exchange.
Mal [112:10]: "Will Smith doesn't write. It's okay."
The conversation transitions to comedy, with Rory and Mal discussing Chris Rock’s recent monologue at Saturday Night Live. They express admiration for his humor and reflect on Rock’s career, including his stoic response to confrontational situations.
Rory [86:17]: "I like Chris's monologue. I mean, probably not his absolute best, but it was a good monologue."
In the final segment, the hosts engage with listener call-ins, offering relationship advice and sharing personal stories. They navigate through topics like infidelity, bisexuality, and maintaining trust within relationships, combining empathy with their trademark humor.
Damaris [123:03]: "She's saying her boyfriend is being homoerotic with his friends. I don't understand."
The episode concludes with well-wishes for upcoming shows and a reminder of the strong community among their listeners.
Mal [124:51]: "Have fun tonight, man. Be safe, be blessed. We'll talk to y'all soon."
Episode 329 of New Rory & MAL provides a rich tapestry of discussions ranging from personal anecdotes and live show recaps to controversial allegations and in-depth debates on music and social issues. The hosts maintain their engaging and humorous dynamic, offering listeners both entertainment and thoughtful commentary on contemporary topics.