Episode 356 | Morning Routine

Summary

Podcast Summary: New Rory & MAL – Episode 356 | Morning Routine

Introduction

In Episode 356 of New Rory & MAL, titled "Morning Routine," hosts Rory, Damaris, and Maul delve into a variety of engaging topics ranging from personal routines and relationships to handling online debates and content creation. Released on March 25, 2025, this episode offers listeners a blend of humor, insightful conversations, and relatable anecdotes.

1. Launching Patreon Content and Dealing with Trolls

The episode kicks off with the hosts discussing their new Patreon-exclusive segment titled "Worst Takes," a play on the popular "First Take." Rory expresses frustration with listeners who are unaware of the Patreon content, leading to a humorous take on defending their opinions repeatedly.

• Rory (04:01): "We posted a photo in all our communities saying, comment under here with everyone from the pods. Worst Take."
• Maul (04:02): "It's a triple down. Yeah, okay."
• Damaris (04:19): "You didn't realize that people just like to argue. Yeah, they get off on it."

This segment highlights the challenges podcasters face with audience engagement and the perpetual cycle of defending their viewpoints amidst ongoing debates.

2. Celebrating Damaris's Birthday and Upcoming Plans

A significant portion of the episode is dedicated to celebrating Damaris's birthday. The hosts share lighthearted banter about her usual role in organizing celebrations and her plans to visit Houston, Texas. Damaris reveals her nervousness about returning to clubbing, emphasizing her preference for safe environments.

• Rory (05:22): "Happy birthday to our favorite person in the entire world, Damaris."
• Damaris (06:20): "I am this weekend, yes. Nervous, yeah."

Their discussion touches on the dynamics of planning events and the balance between fun and safety, especially when traveling to new places.

3. Exploring Relationships and Financial Dynamics

The conversation shifts to exploring the complexities of modern relationships, particularly focusing on financial expectations and the dynamics between partners. The hosts debate scenarios where one partner offers financial support, questioning the motives and implications behind such gestures.

• Damaris (05:24): "A few times, I've had a clap back that I was like, oh, I feel good now."
• Maul (21:08): "They just scared that she going to fuck up the wreck with the other hoes."
• Rory (22:04): "They be like, alright, he brings up a really good point. Like, you ain't be a good lawyer."

This segment offers a candid look at the expectations placed on financial support in relationships and the potential for misunderstandings or conflicts arising from monetary dynamics.

4. Morning Routines: Habits and Health Practices

A central theme of the episode revolves around morning routines. The hosts share their personal habits, such as cold plunges, mouth taping to improve breathing, journaling, and exercising. They discuss the benefits and challenges of maintaining structured morning practices, debating their effectiveness and personal preferences.

• Damaris (15:09): "What music artist do I listen to the most often?"
• Rory (34:07): "I don't even know how to check. Like, how do you go?"

The dialogue emphasizes the importance of morning routines in setting the tone for the day, while also injecting humor into the discussion of unconventional habits.

5. Content Creation and Influencer Trends

The hosts critique the trend of morning routine content creation, questioning its authenticity and the pressure influencers face to present idealized versions of their lives. They share their skepticism about the sincerity of such content and its impact on both creators and viewers.

• Maul (08:02): "No, that's when you gotta get their name. It's just the same as the hotel."
• Damaris (16:20): "That's what I heard that they do. It's facts."

Their conversation highlights the blurred lines between genuine personal development and content designed solely for audience engagement, reflecting broader conversations in the social media landscape.

6. Personal Anecdotes and Group Stories

Throughout the episode, Rory, Damaris, and Maul share personal stories and humorous incidents, ranging from problematic luggage experiences to mishaps in relationships. These anecdotes serve to humanize the hosts, making their interactions relatable and entertaining for listeners.

• Maul (42:03): "I went straight down to like, yo, y'all bugging like, this is not how you get laid."
• Damaris (49:35): "You telling me I will fuck Brownie. Brownie."

These stories not only provide comic relief but also underline the unpredictable nature of personal interactions and the comedic side of relationship woes.

7. Discussing Influencer Content and Authenticity

The trio engages in a meta-discussion about the authenticity of influencer content, particularly focusing on viral morning routines and fitness challenges. They debate the sincerity of such content and the motivations behind it, questioning whether it's driven by genuine self-improvement or merely for audience approval.

• Rory (75:28): "These have to be filtered before your made it."
• Damaris (82:51): "It's very embarrassing."

This analysis reflects a critical view of current social media trends, encouraging listeners to ponder the authenticity of the content they consume.

Conclusion

Episode 356 of New Rory & MAL encapsulates a blend of insightful conversations, humor, and personal reflections. By navigating topics like morning routines, relationship dynamics, and the challenges of content creation, the hosts offer listeners a multifaceted perspective on everyday issues. Their candid discussions, punctuated with memorable quotes and relatable stories, make this episode a compelling listen for both regular fans and newcomers alike.

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Note: Timestamps correspond to the episode's transcript and are included to highlight notable quotes and moments within the discussion.

Transcript

[Maul]

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[Rory]

PayPal lets you pay all your pals like your graduation gifters.

[Damaris]

Who's paying for the mattress topper?

[Rory]

You mean the beanbag chair?

[Damaris]

Aren't we getting a mini fridge?

[Rory]

Can we create a pool on PayPal? It lets us collect the money before we buy.

[Damaris]

Ooh yes, that's smart.

[Rory]

Glad we can agree on something easily. Pool split and Send Money with PayPal get started in the PayPal app, a PayPal account is required to send and receive money.

[Maul]

A balance account is required to create a pool.

[Damaris]

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[Rory]

To pull off the season's freshest trends?

[Damaris]

You just need the right shoes.

[Maul]

That's where designer shoe warehouse comes in.

[Rory]

Loving wide leg jeans.

[Damaris]

Pair them with sleek low profile sneakers. Obsessed with the sheer trend.

[Rory]

Try it with mesh flats. Feeling Boho comfy sandals.

[Damaris]

Nail the whole free spirited thing.

[Rory]

Find on trend shoes from the brands you love like Birkenstock, Nike, Adidas and more at dsw. The volume.

[Damaris]

No worrying now. Are you ready? No.

[Rory]

That first part.

[Maul]

I don't know about y'all but I already started all of this is going out.

[Rory]

Clip it. That has a sicker meaning now that I don't know about you but I already started the topic we were talking about.

[Maul]

I don't know about you but I'm done.

[Rory]

Yeah, we can leave all this part so the listeners wonder what we were just talking about. Start in the middle there. But just so everyone knows. Peach finished?

[Maul]

Yeah, he's done. So he's not even. He's not even with us right now. He's Just on a whole nother level right now.

[Rory]

Well, welcome back. Top of the week.

[Maul]

Top of the top.

[Rory]

Very rainy here in.

[Maul]

I love it.

[Rory]

Tri state area.

[Maul]

Oh, it's not Seattle.

[Rory]

It feels like Seattle out there.

[Maul]

Love Seattle. But anytime I can shout out Seattle, I want to shout Seattle out. Love the Supersonics. Bring them back.

[Rory]

For someone that didn't even get any in the city, you sure love that place, Seattle.

[Maul]

Oh, yeah, yeah. I don't. I don't just love places for sex, Rory.

[Rory]

Why not?

[Maul]

Because I just don't like. I like other things, like culture, food. Yeah.

[Rory]

With the people. With the people you're having sex with.

[Maul]

Well, that too. But, you know, I just like the aesthetic of Seattle, like the energy, you know, it's very. It's a pretty city.

[Rory]

Yeah. Well, happy Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, whenever you're listening to this. We just dropped a new Patreon episode today called Worst Takes instead of First Take. And I'll be honest with you, I'm even more pissed at our listeners for the people that are listening and don't know what I'm talking about. We posted a photo in all our communities saying, comment under here with everyone from the pods. Worst Take. And we were going to discuss it, and we discussed it on Patreon, and then I went in the community, and now I want to defend the takes that I was defending off. The defending. Like, it's going to be an inception of defending now. Now I'm defending me, defending it. This is a bad idea for my mental.

[Maul]

It's a triple down.

[Rory]

Yeah, okay.

[Maul]

Triple down there. Stand on it.

[Rory]

But then they want to. They want to debate about the triple down because I still stand on my chance. Take went out on our IG today.

[Damaris]

You didn't realize that people just like to argue. Yeah, they get off on it. Like, they're finished by the end of the clip.

[Maul]

They're done. They're done.

[Rory]

Is that a dopamine thing on the Internet, you think? Just arguing for the sake of arguing. Like people really are.

[Maul]

Whatever. It's a mental thing. It's a mental illness.

[Damaris]

It gives me anxiety. I don't know.

[Maul]

Mental health issues all day.

[Rory]

Yeah. I don't know. Sometimes no one will admit it because they don't sound cool. But in my head, a few times, I've had a clap back that I was like, oh, I feel good now.

[Maul]

Get it out. Yeah, let it out.

[Rory]

You ever give, like, a really crazy clap back and, like, think like, this is.

[Damaris]

This is it, and then they come.

[Rory]

Back, and they come back and like, damn, I can't reply now. Yeah, that was my best work and I just destroyed it.

[Maul]

You act like you're busy, like you don't see it.

[Rory]

Yeah, I'm out here still on that combo.

[Damaris]

Yeah. I'm out here getting money. This burnt down.

[Maul]

Like, come on, man. It's this economy you want to talk about.

[Rory]

That's the other version of but do I get pussy? Is I was getting money. What were you doing? Yeah, a morning routine. We'll get to that, though. Yeah. Happy birthday to our favorite person in the entire world, Damaris. I've thus forgotten your middle name.

[Maul]

Today's your birthday?

[Damaris]

Well, no, it's Wednesday.

[Rory]

Wednesday. Oh, 26th. So this is our birthday episode because she's the person that usually gets everyone the cakes for their birthday. She didn't get one because she would have to go get it because men don't. Men don't know how to do that.

[Maul]

She didn't. She didn't get it because she didn't go get it.

[Damaris]

I stopped that a couple years ago, though. I used to make everybody's birthday special and, like, nah, never mind. Because then I'd be doing it for myself. Yeah, that's.

[Rory]

That's. That's a first year company thing. I think it's fine. Everyone should do that the first year.

[Damaris]

But after that, we used to celebrate our anniversary. We used to get Ace of spades for our anniversaries, and we used to. Yeah, yeah.

[Rory]

That's why I forgot. What was it, the 300th episode or whatever? Like, what do we want to do? It's like, I've done this so many times for anniversaries, for a podcast episode. I don't want to buy the balloons. I've done it. I don't want to look at a cake for a whole week sitting in the fridge, just taking up fridge space. Can't even close the door.

[Maul]

Just say happy birthday. Thank you. I appreciate it. Much love.

[Rory]

But you are going to Houston this week.

[Damaris]

I am this weekend, yes.

[Rory]

Nervous.

[Damaris]

Nervous, yeah.

[Rory]

You haven't been to a club in a while. You haven't, like.

[Damaris]

Keeps making me nervous. A couple of the cuties slid in. The DMS was like, let me know when you get to Houston. Y'all try to kidnap me.

[Rory]

Those are fake Abby's.

[Damaris]

I know, right?

[Rory]

They're actually gonna kidnap you?

[Damaris]

Yeah, probably. Yeah. That's fine.

[Maul]

But, I mean, it's not hard to kidnap Damaris.

[Damaris]

It is hard.

[Maul]

It's not.

[Damaris]

It is.

[Maul]

All they gotta do is say they got lotto tickets yeah, they just have.

[Rory]

To be playing Janet Jackson in the rickety van.

[Maul]

Yeah, maybe.

[Rory]

Yo, what y'all doing over there?

[Damaris]

I'm like, what you know about this one?

[Maul]

Exactly.

[Damaris]

Tied up, tied up.

[Maul]

Duct tape wisdom.

[Damaris]

No, I feel like. I feel like, no, you don't have to spend a lot of money to kidnap me because I don't just leave, like, my apartment or my. Like, my hotel. Just, like, off the strength. Like, you're gonna have to show me something. Like, I'm not just gonna get in the car, you know? So you're gonna have to spend some money. So if you want to spend money on the kidnapping, and then I'm there.

[Rory]

And did you check in with Mob's eyes?

[Damaris]

No, I don't check in with anybody when I go anywhere.

[Rory]

My bad.

[Damaris]

I don't. Like, I don't. What am I supposed to. I'm a girl. I'm not a thug.

[Rory]

I don't even know how to check. Like, how do you go? Do you text them?

[Damaris]

Like, no.

[Maul]

Same way you check into your hotel. It's the same process.

[Rory]

That's the thing. Like, it's not that I wouldn't check in. I just don't know how.

[Maul]

No, I don't know who to call.

[Rory]

I don't know.

[Maul]

Just. Just go to the hood. Go right to the chicken spot. Every girl got a chicken spot and let them know, like, hey, I'm in town. I'm here for, you know, this many days. I'll be right in and out. I'm not here to do anything crazy in your city.

[Rory]

And I'm so ignorant to street shit. Like, I would then start getting nervous and have anxiety that, did I check in with the right person or are they scamming me? Like, you don't check in with. What if I don't have protection and I just paid for it?

[Maul]

No, that's when you gotta get their name. It's just the same as the hotel.

[Rory]

Where do I verify the dmv?

[Maul]

Yeah, well, you let me see your id, sir, can you send me your ID so that the gentlemen know that I checked in and I'm in the city, and I'm not in here making no mucky city.

[Rory]

So I wouldn't even know what to that text. Like, hey, man, I'm here from these dates. Do you have any good food recommendations?

[Maul]

Like, yeah, it comes with food recommendations. Yeah, once you check in, they give you a whole itinerary. Like, if you hungry, go here. Want to go to the club, go here.

[Damaris]

They gonna tell you where to spot. Like, where the spots with the protection is. Right. Because you can't go to the chicken spot over on the wrong side, and you don't got protection over there.

[Rory]

But see, that's where I'm scared, especially.

[Maul]

And needing protection to go get chicken is crazy.

[Rory]

But now that the gang has run rampant in every city, now I'm lost. Like, if I check in with one gang now, does that just limit me to. To their areas?

[Maul]

Yeah, you're only safe in their jurisdiction.

[Rory]

Now I can't even.

[Maul]

Yeah, yeah.

[Rory]

Now I got beef.

[Maul]

Yeah. Once you step outside of that jurisdiction.

[Rory]

You gotta check like I'm checking in to create an op I don't have. Because now I'm with those guys, and I'm. If I go to the wrong section, I'm with them now.

[Maul]

Exactly.

[Rory]

I didn't have an issue with you guys.

[Damaris]

Yeah, I'm not going to the hood with you because you. You confusing me right now. I'm cool. You don't need to check in.

[Rory]

Oh, but I think that's. I think my confusion is what has kept me safe all these years. Just stay away from it. Yeah, I'm lost. I don't understand it.

[Damaris]

But, yeah, I really got Monday off. Because I'm telling you right now, if somebody fine in the club say you ain't going home Sunday, I ain't going home.

[Maul]

See, look how easy it is.

[Damaris]

If they say, I pay for you.

[Maul]

To stay out here that fast, she's gone. That's nice. We'll never see her again. I love somebody fine.

[Rory]

Just. That's. That's all it was.

[Maul]

What. What does that mean?

[Damaris]

If somebody.

[Rory]

You should check in with him first.

[Damaris]

That's all it has to be is just somebody fin. Say, yo, you. You ain't going home. I'm stay. I'm paying for your. For you to stay extra day. I ain't come to work. I. I get drunk, and I accept the marriage.

[Maul]

I told you, you can take my.

[Damaris]

All right. I'm just saying. I'll probably be here, though, but you can.

[Maul]

You can take my.

[Damaris]

Josh said. Josh said if I do. If I don't make it, that y'all can zoom in like they don't know ball people.

[Rory]

Okay, but he has to be on camera, too. Yeah, he got to be sitting next to you in a little laptop.

[Damaris]

Oh, wait, the fine guy? No, he won't make it past that day. That's not. We're not like a thing.

[Maul]

That will be Monday. Who you talking about?

[Rory]

What if. What if he rocks your worlds mentally and spiritually?

[Maul]

How would one rock Damaris's world?

[Damaris]

Like, what are you gonna do, hit me with a baseball bat?

[Rory]

Well, I mean, the sentence you said didn't sound like flirting. It sounded like a Class A felony. Yo, you're not going home. You staying with me.

[Maul]

They like that, though.

[Damaris]

That's like that.

[Rory]

It's crazy that just likeability was something.

[Maul]

Can determine whether a felony or it's not offensive. If she's attracted to it.

[Rory]

Yeah. No, then it's assertive.

[Maul]

If he's not attractive, then it's his assault. Yeah, but if it's. If he's attractive, she gonna wake up in bed with the.

[Rory]

It's no crazy.

[Damaris]

That is crazy.

[Maul]

What you mean? You gotta wake up at some point.

[Damaris]

No, who said I'm going home with him?

[Rory]

Oh, you're saying he's just funding your extra day there?

[Damaris]

Oh, y'all aren't girls. Y'all don't know.

[Maul]

Oh, you just noticed that we're not girls? I know some girls look like me now, but. No, I'm not.

[Damaris]

That's definitely happened to me before. And my friends, just because we cute and they don't want us to go nowhere. You ain't sleeping with me. Oh, my God, no.

[Rory]

First of all, I wasn't.

[Damaris]

For a flight. For a flight for somewhere I'm already at.

[Rory]

Oh, no, I wasn't saying you had. You were going to sleep with him off that. But I thought you were still going to his crib. You coming with me. You're not.

[Maul]

Yeah, so when he's. So when you said you come with.

[Damaris]

Me, he just said you're not going home. Like, you got to stay in Houston for Sunday Funday. My brothers might tell me that. Like, yo, you're not going home and pay for my flight like that. That's.

[Maul]

Yeah, like, we're not talking about your brothers. You just said first. This is why Damaris is full of shit. I cursed already. My bad piece. I ain't mean to curse. You just said, if somebody fine you meet somebody fine you not coming back Monday. Those are your words.

[Damaris]

If I meet somebody fine, that offers to pay for my change of my flight home, which is gonna be around 250. If they choose to do that, then I won't come home because somebody paid for my extended stay. That does not grant you access to these caves.

[Rory]

Granted.

[Maul]

I thought that was how you get to the caves.

[Rory]

I agree with that, but I'm not that liberal in this. If I pay for you to stay, you cut. You're coming with me. I'm not saying we, but you hanging out with me.

[Maul]

Yeah, we're going to talk. You're running errands with me.

[Rory]

I'm not entitled to your body because I gave you money? I'm entitled to your time now and then.

[Maul]

That's it. Like, nah, we not doing that.

[Damaris]

We can hang out at, like, the Sunday Funday brunch, because obviously, everybody.

[Maul]

Yeah, we're gonna go get errands first. Go to Target.

[Rory]

Cool. Yeah, you might come to Target with me.

[Maul]

Yeah, you gonna help me? Yo, which. Which softener should I get? I usually get this one, but dryer sheets, let me know which dryer sheets I should try.

[Damaris]

Fabric softener actually adds a film to your clothes. Just use white vinegar.

[Maul]

But, yeah, see, this is why.

[Rory]

That's what I'm paying for.

[Maul]

This is why you gotta go to Target. This is why we pay for you to miss the flight. Come with me to talk. Put me on to the white vinegar in the colored wash. You know what I'm saying? Like, put me on to that. So you come to Target. Then we might go, you know, a little Sunday fun day. You know what Sunday Funday turns into? Forever after Sunday messy nights. Sunday, Sunday sheets. Sunday. You never been to Sunday sheets.

[Rory]

He just finished again.

[Maul]

Yeah, you got to go to do Sunday sheets.

[Rory]

Yeah.

[Maul]

You know, you gotta go to Club Club Sheets.

[Rory]

For sure.

[Damaris]

Club Sheets.

[Maul]

We ain't even gotta be doing them. But it's Sunday. Some of the best shows on TV on Sunday night.

[Damaris]

I thought it was Sunday fun. I thought, I can't leave because there's so much shit going on on Sunday.

[Maul]

That's the. That's the day. Yeah, but at seven, eight o'clock, all right, we gonna taper this down back to the crib. Something to eat, shower. And then it's time to cuddle and watch Baddie Baddy shot o'clock. What are we doing? I don't watch that, but we gonna watch it together. I'm gonna put you on the game. I'm gonna let you know what Tinka been up to this season. I'm gonna let you know what Anna been up to this season. You know what I'm saying? Dolly in there punching in their face to Seki. They don't want no drama with her. Cause you know what I'm saying, she knocked cold the fuck out. You know what I'm saying? I'm gonna put you on the game. Don't worry about it.

[Rory]

Yo.

[Maul]

All while we cuddling, playing footsies because.

[Rory]

Of the very thing you're talking about. I am Knee deep in the baddie game now.

[Maul]

Yeah, you gotta be.

[Rory]

Well, I was watching all weekend.

[Maul]

Yo. Sunday, you gotta be. You gotta watch baddies on Sunday. Sunday nights. I'm sorry, it's a thing.

[Damaris]

Well, Josh. Josh wanted you guys to answer some questions about me because it's my birthday.

[Rory]

Okay.

[Damaris]

To see how well you know me. I only came up with five. I only came up with five.

[Maul]

Okay. This might not be too bad.

[Damaris]

Okay.

[Maul]

Yep.

[Damaris]

What's my idea of a perfect day? There's two answers.

[Maul]

I'll allow your idea of a perfect day any day where he finds spending money on you.

[Damaris]

What were you saying? Rory?

[Maul]

I lost.

[Rory]

I mean, I guess she just gets to pick if she likes our answer or not. It's not really like a. This isn't a. This isn't like a trivia thing. This is. Sorry, I just have to make up.

[Damaris]

No, I have the answers written down.

[Rory]

Going to seven spots in one day.

[Damaris]

There's no way. You think that's my idea of a perfect day? There's no way. You think.

[Maul]

Okay, yeah, I did a perfect day. Let me see. Mani, Petty, Jim, go get a latte. And then home all day with food and your tv.

[Damaris]

So the end part. Ding, ding, ding, ding, ding. You got it right. Going to get a mania. And Petty.

[Maul]

You don't even know baby dad.

[Rory]

No, no, no more. I know her too well. But I. I know she's picking the answer that's gonna sound better on a podcast. Of what? Her ideal day.

[Damaris]

That is my perfect day. I had two.

[Rory]

She's gonna pick the soft girl life.

[Damaris]

Like I had to. Falling asleep on the beach on an island. It's one of my favorite things to do. Or staying home all day with my phone on DD with good food, binging shows.

[Maul]

I know you don't know baby D. No, that's your problem.

[Rory]

She wants to mix scotch and tequila together. We're gonna go and end up on.

[Maul]

Stage to a concert.

[Damaris]

Rory, I'm like you. I hate doing that shit.

[Rory]

I Harry east to get food and hookah after. Yeah, and then she's going to text. She's going to get that feeling around 3, 4am with the substances that she has in and text that person. She's not supposed to text. They going to link up.

[Damaris]

You don't. Roy don't know me at all.

[Maul]

See, I told. I just said that.

[Damaris]

What music artist do I listen? Artist. There's three answers I'll accept. What music artist do I listen the most to? The most often. Not my favorite. Who do I listen to the most.

[Maul]

Often, Janet Jackson, J. Cole, Mariah Carey.

[Damaris]

I literally said, not my favorite, and he named all three of them.

[Maul]

Oh, I didn't hear. I didn't hear that part.

[Damaris]

Yeah, not my favorite. Those are my three favorites. You're really good at that. What? Who do I listen to the most often?

[Maul]

I say Glorilla, Meg, Thee, Stallion, Meg.

[Damaris]

Lato, Megan, Thee, Stallion, Keanu Laday, and Whitney Houston. But check out Meg Wright.

[Maul]

Okay. Okay.

[Rory]

Well, he didn't. Let me get my other two guesses.

[Maul]

We halfway know Baby D. Halfway.

[Rory]

I might want to put Janet being up there is something that you listen to.

[Maul]

Not her favorite.

[Damaris]

I've listened to Janet so much that I can't listen to Janet anymore, if that makes sense.

[Rory]

Yeah, I have that with a lot.

[Damaris]

Of my nerves, too. What is my dream job that I will leave you guys for in a heartbeat?

[Maul]

Any. Anything that's working remote. Anything where you don't have to leave the house.

[Rory]

Being a meter maid outside.

[Maul]

No, no, no, she gotta leave the house. Not anything where you don't have to leave the house. Working remote. Working.

[Damaris]

Working remote is one actress, is the other. Or housewife to a wealthy man was the third acceptable answer.

[Rory]

Damn.

[Maul]

Well, this is like acting to an extent.

[Damaris]

That's why I'm here.

[Rory]

Yeah.

[Maul]

See?

[Rory]

Yeah, I was also going to go something music related. I did want to go to Roc Nation school, and I used to want.

[Damaris]

To do that until I got on this podcast and I started meeting so many people in the music industry and I realized that I don't want to be around any of those motherfuckers. I don't want to be around the people. I'm cool. The artists, the people that work for the artists, everybody Greasy, slimy, horny, weird.

[Maul]

I mean, that's. Any job, though, is working remote. Horny and weird? Like, that's why they work remote. So they can chug one out in the middle of a meeting.

[Rory]

Like, every other week, there was a headline of someone having their dick out during a zoom meeting.

[Maul]

Yeah, like.

[Rory]

Like he just moved the camera and he had no pants on. A certain tie up here. No.

[Maul]

Blurring the background and making it look like Hawaii. That he was safe. Like, we can still see your crotch, sir. Put some. Put some pants on. Yeah, that's all.

[Rory]

I'm fine saying this because it was on fx when I did Wheezy show on fx, the woman that was also on there with me said that she was getting one time while she was on a zoom meeting call. I was like, how she even explained like, she was.

[Maul]

I'm laying on her side. How are you that horny?

[Rory]

I mean, I don't know. She didn't get a detail of, like, how it popped off. Maybe he just came over there and got off on that. Like, oh, you want to zoom? All right.

[Maul]

I'm just not that horny. I'm sorry. Yeah, like, I'm on a Zoom call. We could wait this calls, what, 30 minutes maybe. Yeah, I'm good. I'll be. I'll be done in 30 minutes. Like, I'm not. We don't have to have sex on Zoom with my co workers. That is crazy. That is absolutely crazy.

[Rory]

But something tells me you've probably gotten ahead while you were on the phone and they didn't. The person on the other line did not know what was going on.

[Maul]

Yeah, but I hung up, like, once it started getting too sloppy, I was like, all right, hold on, let me call you right back.

[Damaris]

At one point, it depends on how that is weird and people are too horny. But it does depend on how involved am I in this call, because I've definitely. I was in a relationship when we were shopping this show around. Do remember, and we had Zoom calls every other day. And I'm sure at one point I was laying in bed with the phone on mute, listening. And, you know, I might have got.

[Rory]

A fair game if. If you're camera and audio are on mute.

[Damaris]

Yeah, I feel like that's fair game if I'm not really involved in the call. I'm just here, like, to show face.

[Maul]

Yeah. Until they be like, Damaris, did you get the email? Then. Then what? Now you fumbling, looking for the phone, hitting mute and camera at the same time.

[Rory]

Verizon WI fi be tripping.

[Maul]

Yeah. Now you all jammed up in the game. Somebody like Demer, did you get the email?

[Damaris]

I slammed the laptop and be like, oh, damn. Like, wow, service error. But I'm. I'm sure at that time, because that was right during the pandemic or right after the pandemic, and we had calls every day, five times a fucking day.

[Rory]

So, yeah, that was.

[Damaris]

That was a lot.

[Rory]

That was an annoying time. I knew that shit was necessary, but, my God, it was every other hour of re pitching the show, and the same executive who doesn't have a creative bone in their body going, tell me your vision. We. We want to be in the Rory and Moll business.

[Damaris]

Oh, God, yes. Yes. Which is so funny because the deal that we ended up signing, our first deal. I love Jasmine right off the bat.

[Rory]

Oh, Jazz Is the best. Yeah.

[Damaris]

I love Jazz. Right off the bat, she like.

[Rory]

When we first, I was like, all right, there is a human here.

[Damaris]

Yeah. Who actually watches the show. Paid attention, wasn't touched with the culture.

[Rory]

Yeah.

[Maul]

Shout out to Jazz.

[Damaris]

Jazz was the best, man. Okay.

[Rory]

I have two talking in circles about absolutely nothing.

[Damaris]

It was. Yeah. That was a rough time. Am I a cheater?

[Maul]

Yes.

[Rory]

Yes.

[Damaris]

No. I cannot believe you guys, like, you know what now.

[Rory]

No.

[Maul]

All right. What's cheating to you? It doesn't have to be sex. Cheating. Sex is not. That's just not the only thing that cheating is.

[Damaris]

I do not do things with other men that I will be uncomfortable telling my partner.

[Maul]

That don't count because, you know, you be having them on a string that you date, you can tell them anything, and they gonna stay like lap dogs.

[Rory]

They be like, all right, he brings up a really good point.

[Maul]

Yeah.

[Rory]

Like, you ain't be a good lawyer.

[Maul]

You ain't dating no real. That'll go upside your head if he catch you texting some other nigga.

[Rory]

Well, thank God.

[Maul]

Yeah.

[Rory]

Thank go. Why'd you make it sound like that's what she need in her life?

[Maul]

Right? She does. All women need that.

[Damaris]

No, you should fear.

[Maul]

You should fear your man a little bit.

[Rory]

Not physically.

[Maul]

No, not physically, but you should feel like if this catch me cheating and talking to this dude, he going, not. Not physically, but you know what I'm saying? Women should have that certain apprehensive, like, nah, n. Go ahead.

[Rory]

Cause, my man, you're fucking up your relationship for sure.

[Damaris]

Yeah.

[Rory]

But not that they'll go upside your head.

[Damaris]

I don't date men that I'm not, like, semi fearful of the things that they would do if they found out I was cheating. Like, to the men that I'm cheating with, they ain't gonna do to me. But to the men that I'm cheating with, I definitely date men who I fear.

[Rory]

Yeah, sure. Yeah.

[Damaris]

Date men who you fear, who I respect. I'll put like that. Respect. I don't. If I don't respect you, I won't date you.

[Maul]

Fear somewhere in the rest. Yeah.

[Damaris]

But they also fear and respect me too. It's equal. Equal opportunity. Scaredy scariness.

[Rory]

They fear what you're gonna do next because you're gonna tell them, and they're gonna have to accept it.

[Maul]

They just scared that she going to fuck up the wreck with the other hoes. They ain't scared of her. They just like, she gonna go crazy. All my bitches gonna leave me, like, you know I go, but they don't think Baby D gonna run down on them and start swinging.

[Rory]

I didn't mean like that.

[Maul]

I meant, hey, you meet her dog.

[Rory]

That's what it was. I think they. They fear the things that she's told them because that's one thing about Damaris that I do respect, but it's terrifying. Demerit is going to tell you the truth on some. You don't want to hear. Listen, and you're gonna have to accept that, and that is going to be in your mind. Like, will she do that again?

[Maul]

I don't know.

[Damaris]

You free to leave.

[Maul]

I don't know. I. I feel like Baby D be talking all that. I got to see with them text messages with the dirty thing look like it's.

[Damaris]

You know, it's crazy.

[Maul]

I think you'd be in.

[Damaris]

Y'all were to see my text messages to men. Y'all, Y'all. It's so much. No, it's. No, I'm. You will never see a text message of me begging no man for anything or being like, no.

[Maul]

Oh, you ain't meet the right one.

[Damaris]

No, not that. If I have to beg you for something, whether it be attention, whether it be faithfulness, whether it be anything, I don't need to be with you.

[Maul]

Begging for faithfulness is crazy.

[Damaris]

Yeah, that bitches be out here doing it.

[Maul]

Please stop cheating on me.

[Damaris]

Please stop. They be doing it.

[Rory]

Why?

[Damaris]

Why do you keep doing this?

[Rory]

Please leave me.

[Maul]

Please stop cheating on me is crazy.

[Damaris]

Yeah, I can't. That's not me. Okay, last one. What is my biggest red flag in.

[Maul]

Dating a heterosexual man?

[Damaris]

Shut up.

[Maul]

Oh, my bad. Your biggest red flag.

[Rory]

Flip it. Hers went viral.

[Maul]

Maybe this your biggest red flag. I would probably say if he be like, damn, big dawg, you got it.

[Damaris]

Oh, my God, stop.

[Maul]

I think if a man say that, you out of there, Baby D. Soon as he call you Big money.

[Rory]

Big Money D. I was going with something similar. You finding out he's not the leader in the crew.

[Damaris]

Oh, my God.

[Rory]

To me, that would be your biggest reference.

[Damaris]

We go out to the club, and his homie ordering the bottles, he in the corner.

[Rory]

Yeah.

[Damaris]

Big homie asked me, who am I look at?

[Maul]

But why is that. But why is that, like, the deal breaker, though? Why?

[Damaris]

Unless you. Unless. Unless your big homie is like. If your big homie is like a. Like a. You're dating a rock star, and you're the homie of a rock star. I can understand that. But you also. You can't just be entourage to the rock star. Either the rock star got to be a childhood friend. Like, that's like. You've been his childhood friend his whole life. That's how you know him. Or in some way, you work with him. You're a manager. You're an artist, you're an A R. You're. You do something.

[Maul]

You just said these niggas is weird and slimy. All these. Anything. They are.

[Damaris]

They are. They are. But if you, like. You know what I'm saying? Like, you just can't be like, yo, that's just. I know him. You know what I'm saying? And he asking you questions like, who you? Or you not ordering nothing. I asked for a drink. And you like, hold on. He ordering the bottles?

[Maul]

Hold on. He orders.

[Rory]

I mean, it's under his card.

[Damaris]

That's not scary to y'all. That's not terrifying.

[Rory]

I get women's perspective.

[Maul]

I mean, I've never met a woman that was buying bottles, so I don't know.

[Rory]

No, just that.

[Maul]

Not saying she can't, but I never met a woman.

[Rory]

Him not being in charge. Not in charge of his crew, per se, but having some type of leadership skills, being a man, more or less.

[Maul]

Yeah, I could see it.

[Rory]

I don't see, actually why women get killed with having that mentality. Like, no, I don't want the flunky guy. I don't want the guy who's been hanging on to some other man. Like, that's weird. You're not an equal in your own crew. Yeah, I'm not saying you have to be the leader of those. You're not even an equal in your own crew.

[Maul]

Yeah, but women say that, and then you wearing your homegirl Chanel bag that ain't even yours. So we. So it's like, even Stevens.

[Damaris]

No, but that's you putting a lot of value.

[Maul]

That ain't your heels. Those ain't your heels. I saw your girl wearing those last week on her date.

[Damaris]

That's why you seem. First of all, why you looking at my homegirl? What's she wearing? But I feel like with girls, that's. I don't know. I don't know. Maybe it's because I have a sister. But me and my sister borrow each other, like, sunglasses, purses, and all the time, like, it's just. We're just girls. Y'all put value in it because it's a Chanel bag. But I'm not trying to borrow her Chanel bag to look like I got money. It won my outfit.

[Maul]

You wouldn't borrow her Gap back and go to the club.

[Damaris]

Yes, I would. If it matched. If it matched my outfit.

[Maul]

Baby D, will. You not going to the club with no Gap purse. Man, stop playing with me.

[Rory]

I was picturing the Gap that said Gap on it. Like the bag.

[Maul]

That bag. She not going to. You not going to the club with a Gap bag.

[Rory]

You know why?

[Maul]

Yes, I would know. The fuck you would.

[Rory]

You know what's funny? If I saw a woman that I found attractive that had the Gap bag at the club, I would look at her first because I have so many questions.

[Maul]

Yeah, no, we got to have a great story. Got to have a conversation. I got to know how you landed on the.

[Damaris]

Now I got to look and see if Gap makes, like, purses.

[Maul]

Even if they do, you not going to the club with it, is what I'm saying.

[Damaris]

If it's fire, yes, I will.

[Maul]

Oh, my.

[Rory]

But you're putting an equal value into something that men don't value. The same way women value.

[Maul]

Men don't give a fudge.

[Rory]

Yeah. If she shows up with her girls. Chanel bag One, I didn't even know it was a Chanel bag two, I don't care.

[Maul]

I don't care, like, at all.

[Rory]

So it's not really a thing that values.

[Maul]

That's what I'm saying. Men, we're simple, Rory. We don't care. We don't look into all of that. All we care about Ma.

[Damaris]

You cap. Because I seen the way you look at women in the shit that you point out. When a woman fly, like, when she fly, she got that shit on designer shit, and she's well put together. You like that shit, Rory know, Rory would date a bum off the street. You.

[Maul]

I like it. I like a woman with style. Yeah. It don't even have to be designed. I just like a woman that has style. She knows what to wear, where to wear it, to, like, things like that. Like. Yeah, I appreciate that. Because to me, it's more. That's part of her personality. Like a woman that has style. That's like a personality thing.

[Damaris]

So if you've seen a bitch with the Gap bag in the club, you wouldn't like that.

[Maul]

I would have questions. I would be like, yo, that's like the conversation Gap. That's what you want.

[Rory]

To me, it'd be earlier that she could put that together and not look crazy.

[Maul]

Yeah, that's. But that's why I have to have a conversation. Cause I listen. I grew up wearing it. That's all I wore as a kid, was Gap. So it's like, okay, I respect that. But why the club with that? Like, did you not know you was coming to the club? Kind of just came here.

[Damaris]

Well, I'm looking. I'm looking at all the Gap bags, and they're like, going to the club.

[Rory]

To support a friend.

[Damaris]

Nah, it happened.

[Rory]

I know it does. It's just fun. It's just a funny concept. Like, I'm here for support.

[Maul]

Yeah, you just landed. Came straight to the club. Just see your girlfriend. Happy birthday. You going back to the hotel? You know, so it. I just. We would have to have a conversation is all.

[Damaris]

All the Gap bags are like tote bags. Like, you know, like overnight bags.

[Maul]

That's what I'm saying. So if you in the club with.

[Damaris]

A tote, oh, you go home, I.

[Maul]

Need to know, like, what you do, what you. What you do. You at the office late, you just shot straight over here.

[Damaris]

You could spend that, though. You could say, yo, that's your spin. The night bag. You coming with me?

[Maul]

Yeah. No. Well, being in the club with the spend the night bag.

[Rory]

She doesn't like you. That's a felony.

[Maul]

I got. It's like, why are you doing that? And this is what you do. Come to the club with the spend the night bag. Who drove it? You could leave that in the car. Why are you in a club with a toothbrush?

[Damaris]

Toothbrush Baritra.

[Rory]

And, you know, they had to search it so all her shit was on the table.

[Maul]

Like, what you. You had to put all of that tooth Security joint, like, nah, that's crazy. We not doing it.

[Rory]

Like, talk to the DJ and put it behind the booth at least.

[Maul]

Yeah, something. Get that out of here. That's right by the Moet. Like, come on.

[Rory]

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[Maul]

Your Distrokid membership also comes with a ton of free products and features to help you promote your Music. Starting at 2299, you can upload and distribute as much music as possible and keep 100% of your royalties. I like the sound of that, Roy. Keeping 100% of your royalties is definitely a selling point. Sign [e-mail] click our link in the.

[Rory]

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[Maul]

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[Rory]

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[Rory]

Hey, everyone. Welcome back to Bach yout Happy Hour. I'm Joe.

[Damaris]

And I'm Serena.

[Rory]

And we are here with the I Heart Music Awards and David's Bridal who.

[Damaris]

Are sponsoring this podcast and we are so grateful to them.

[Rory]

Thank you. Thank you for finishing my sentence. And we are here with our favorites, Daughton and Charity.

[Damaris]

Where were you in Bikinis in the Snow? Montana.

[Rory]

Okay.

[Damaris]

She flew out and joined you guys.

[Maul]

Isn't it cold?

[Damaris]

No, it was. We. Well, yeah. Bikinis in the Snow. Getting hypothermia for those photos.

[Rory]

Wow.

[Damaris]

They were sick, though.

[Rory]

I don't get bikinis in the snow.

[Damaris]

Just like an aesthetic. Yeah.

[Rory]

I don't know if him and I did that. If we did like Speedos in the Snow, you guys would be like douchebags in the snow. Would be like.

[Damaris]

I would be like, let's see it.

[Rory]

Come on.

[Damaris]

I would not complain. I beg him to do stuff like that. He's like, no, that's gonna be the name of this podcast. That's Bachelor Happy Hour.

[Maul]

Speedos in the Snow.

[Rory]

David's Bridal. If you're listening to branding a little bit.

[Maul]

Sponsored by David's Bridal. Bridal Speedos in the Snow.

[Damaris]

Hey, this is Shirley Strawberry. And you know what? It's like. You're driving around all over town and your schedule is packed all day long. I mean, you're booked and busy. That's when your me time becomes even more important. Well, what if your me time and your driving around time were the same in the all new 2025 Nissan Murano? They can be. I mean, the Murano was literally designed to help you relax. We're talking about ambient mood lighting in over 64 different colors and a Bose premium sound system playing all your favorite music. So you can just dial up the music and the lighting to set whatever vibe you want. And just like that, you created your own personal oasis. And you're still getting everything done that your crazy day dictates. I mean, it's not often that productivity and relaxation intersection. Right? But they certainly do. And the all new Murano. Because no amount of rushing around is going to get you down when you're chilling in a Murano. Check it out for yourself. Drive the all new 2025 Nissan Murano. Today, ambient lighting and Bose are optional features.

[Maul]

Hi, this is Jevon, your blinds.com design consultant.

[Damaris]

Oh, wow. A real person.

[Maul]

Yep. I'm here to help with everything from selecting the perfect window treatments to.

[Damaris]

Wow.

[Maul]

Mm.

[Damaris]

I've got a complicated project.

[Maul]

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[Damaris]

I didn't realize you did that.

[Maul]

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[Damaris]

Wow. I mean, I always thought I needed a designer to come to my home, but scheduling's always a Nightmare.

[Maul]

Not with blinds.com, we're on your schedule. And there's no haggling pressure or hidden fees either.

[Damaris]

Hmm. I just might have to do more.

[Maul]

Whatever you need. How about you tell me what you had in mind?

[Damaris]

Okay then. So the first room we're looking at is for guests coming over. And I'm thinking of something. Blinds.com has covered over 25 million windows, all backed by a 100% satisfaction guarantee.

[Rory]

Shopblinds.com now and save up to 45% on select styles.

[Damaris]

Rules and restrictions may apply. Well, I gotta do my, you know, my morning routine. Like, you know, y'all know. Cause y'all about to start doing it. What is it? Ice water and mouth taping and.

[Rory]

Yeah, okay.

[Maul]

Mouth taping.

[Rory]

We'll get to that in a second. What if I told you guys, for as long as you have known me, I have been dumping my face into ice cold water in a bowl.

[Damaris]

Well, you have anxiety, so that makes sense. Wait, you do that for anxiety? It helps anxiety. I take. I put my shower on cold when I leave out of it.

[Rory]

Oh. I mean, I just do it for my skin and I look like I really enjoy it because I like the Cold Plunge or Ice Bass. When I was running track, they were called Now. Now they're trendy and they're called Cold Plunges. But, yeah, I did that for track, so I continued doing that. Yeah, I've continued doing that in my regular life. So this whole weekend, I'm sitting here feeling judged that everyone's been making a mockery out of what I've been doing.

[Maul]

I actually stopped talking to a girl one time when I first saw her morning routine. I ain't like, I'm on a routine.

[Rory]

Well, what was happening?

[Maul]

Like, she got up, first thing she did was turn some rap on. I was like, all right, we not rap. I gotta hear this at 8:30 in the morning.

[Damaris]

What rap was it? Who was it?

[Maul]

I don't even know. It was. It was like. It wasn't Benny or one. It wasn't like, too hardcore Heavy Drug, but it was still rap.

[Damaris]

It was like you just woke up.

[Maul]

The lights wasn't even on in the room.

[Rory]

That was her alarm.

[Maul]

Yeah. How you. How you turn the sound bar on to get straight to rap? The blinds are still closed. Let the sun in first. Like what we rap?

[Damaris]

Nah, Simone Bowers does that.

[Maul]

She listens to rap first thing in the morning. Well, she's the greatest gymnast ever, so I can. I can't argue with that. But Shorty wasn't the greatest gymnast ever, though. Like, she ain't even the best at what she do for work.

[Damaris]

Yo, are you.

[Maul]

I'm keeping real Mondays.

[Rory]

Okay, wait, so you only saw her morning routine once and we're done. Or the second time, you're like, oh, she. This is really hard. She does this.

[Maul]

Like, the third time, I was like, oh, this is what you. You do? Nah, I can't do this.

[Damaris]

That's a little wild.

[Maul]

It's just like, what you doing?

[Rory]

I've always had an issue.

[Maul]

First thing you drinking is, like, juice on the wake up.

[Damaris]

Yeah, that's.

[Maul]

Yeah, we a tea game at water.

[Damaris]

No coffee. Even a little espresso.

[Maul]

No fruit. And I had no fruits. I was like, yo, you ain't got no apple. Nothing in here. Just vibes in the fridge, like leftover Chinese food. And.

[Damaris]

Oh, no.

[Maul]

I'm like, he was dating a Wyatt.

[Damaris]

A yg.

[Maul]

Might as well have been. I thought she gonna put on the Shisty if she did her hair. I was like, what is this?

[Damaris]

Especially if you date in a vegan. Like, at least fake it. At least have, like, some fruits over there. And, you know, I want.

[Maul]

No, no, No, I want to see you. I want to see what you be doing. Don't have nothing for me. I want to see what you be doing on the wake up. I'm observing. I gotta see. Okay, that's what you. Okay. That's what you get into. She'll tell me you quiet when you wake up. We should all be the quiet. Don't talk to me when I wake up. Everybody shut the up.

[Rory]

You quiet when you. Yeah, in the morning would drive me, yo.

[Maul]

I don't even. Like, I'm just trying to figure out if the world is still spinning correctly. Like, let me. What are we talking about this early in the morning?

[Rory]

Like a pet peeve of mine. I don't mind if people check their phone right away because, you know, people got family, whatever. Check your text messages, work. I get that. When people go straight to IG and it's not for their job. That had always bugged me. Like, brush your teeth first. Yeah, there's nothing that important at all.

[Maul]

No, but I mean, you know, I respect a good morning routine though. A good morning routine. Somebody that has, you know. Remember this one girl, she used to get up. I ain't know which, I. I heard her like breathing. I'm like, yo, she is. She going like the living room to masturbate or something. Swear to God, I spent to that house twice. And I'm like, yo, she'd be up at 7 in the morning and she in the living room breathing. Like, what is she doing going there? Stretching. I'm like, I respect that. That's gangster. First thing you do, get up in the morning, hit the yoga mat, start stretching. I'm horny again. See what I'm saying? See how that works? Like, you stretch when you first get up.

[Rory]

That's what does it for you.

[Maul]

What? A girl that get up and hits the yoga mat first thing in the morning. That's sexy.

[Rory]

Yeah, no, I'm with you.

[Maul]

That's sexy.

[Rory]

But I also have hated the person that gets up super early and starts like doing shit.

[Damaris]

Make you feel like a loser.

[Rory]

Like, relax. Can we just get up together or wake me up. Why you left me in bed?

[Maul]

I mean, it depends. Like if she get up and it's like, I feel like I'm in the way. Nothing is worse than spending a night at a girl house and she get up and she doing shit and you just laying there feeling like a lame. I feel like I gotta get up and help you. I go, yo, you want me to like paint? Like, what you want you in here doing Mad, it's not even 8:30 yet.

[Rory]

Like, and I completely agree with you because that makes me feel uncomfortable. And then when I'm trying to get a girl out of my house, I do that same strategy and I can't stand when they don't get the fucking hint. Why do you not feel uncomfortable? I'm doing mad shit and you just sitting here leave.

[Maul]

I respect the woman that know how to like get up and just be like, okay, yeah, she just know, like, cause she got shit to do. That's why I like that. It's like she get up early too because she got shit to do. Like she got to get back home or she got to go to work, you know what I'm saying? Like, I respect women that just have a program and have things that they do daily. Even if they don't have to work today, they gotta do something on their off day. Like, yo, I need to run here, gotta go pick up something from the cleaners. This, that and third, like they just have a, like a routine, a schedule that's just a sign of just like a healthy functioning person. Like when they have a schedule, routine and things that they do daily, like that just shows somebody that has some type of structure and organization in their life, which is I think healthy. I think you need that. I think you need structure and organization to, you know, go throughout the day, just to have some type of process.

[Damaris]

Well, what do you do when we don't have to come into this office? What's your morning routine when we don't have to come into this office?

[Maul]

It depends. Most of the times it'll be stuff like for the crib. Like I'll go a couple days where it's like, okay, now I need to go get some groceries, I need to go do this. I need to. I've been wanting to get rid of some stuff in the crib or exchange some things, do that. Like on my off days I do stuff like that. Try to see the famous, checking on them. Probably get a haircut, things like that. Just like self care that I need to do. And if it's like I said, depending on what I have going on, like I might need to go, you know, do stuff for the house. I might need to get some, get some stuff like different chairs. I've been meaning to get some new chairs. Let me go find some new chairs, yo.

[Damaris]

Yeah, how we all laugh.

[Rory]

Like watching the vlog that's so popular on Tick Tock now. I'd watch malls. That would be the funniest thing.

[Maul]

You Know, I got tired of looking at the stools at the counter. You're like, no, I gotta get rid of these, dog. First of all, I sat down the other night. I ain't like, the way this swivel. I'm tired of looking at them. They ugly.

[Rory]

Now, I think I owe you an apology because I thought you were lying to me that time I pulled up to the neighborhood that you were living in at the time, and I called you and I said, yo, I'm up here. Just happened to be like, what you doing? And you said, I'm getting the wheel on my suitcase fixed. Just tell me you don't want me to come over, bro.

[Maul]

I know that sounded crazy, but I.

[Rory]

Was really like, what type of errand is that?

[Maul]

But I was really pissed because it's designer luggage. So when you buy that type of luggage, it's insured. If something rips, breaks, you send it to them. It take a couple weeks, and they'll ship it back to you. So when I got it back, they replaced it with a smaller wheel. So now my wheel had this funny little. And I'm like, bro, I paid too much for too much money. Yeah. I'm like, I paid. So I was really mad. So I waited three weeks to get the luggage back. And when I finally got it back, I'm like, y'all replaced it with a shorter wheel. So I was. I went. I went straight down to like, yo, y'all bugging like, this is not the same wheel. So he was like, yo, they really put that on there. I'm looking at him in the store like, you think I put this wheel on him? What do you mean?

[Rory]

Did they really crack the neighborhood?

[Maul]

Yes. I'm like, I just got it back today. I waited three weeks for it. And the wheel is shorter. So, yes, I was really. I was on my Karen couch.

[Rory]

A specific errand to be doing right now.

[Maul]

Yeah, I was mad as shit when they sent that luggage bag. And it was. It was bopping like this. I was like, I'm not. Nothing is worse than somebody can move it through the airport with terrible luggage. I hate. That's one of my pet peeves, terrible luggage. Y'all. Remember one time. Remember one time, this girl came to see me, yo, when she walked in my house, her suitcase. I said, yo, there's no way you went through the airport with this suitcase.

[Damaris]

What was wrong with it?

[Maul]

Come on. We're not doing that, Baby D. What's wrong with it? That was all. It was just bad luggage, man. That was bad taped up and it was, like, ripped. It was. And it was the cloth luggage, so it's dirty. I'm like, yo, what you doing?

[Damaris]

Nah.

[Maul]

Like, we not do. I'm like, yo, she could have hit.

[Damaris]

You and said, I need money for a new suitcase. Mine just broke me with that. Oh, really?

[Maul]

I'm not the. That's gonna get you new luggage. Like, no, we're not doing that.

[Damaris]

I'm coming to see you.

[Rory]

And you had this luggage for years.

[Maul]

Now all of a sudden, you coming to see me is, I need new luggage. You had this luggage for six, seven years.

[Damaris]

But as a girl, if she would have text you and say, yo, like, you know, my suitcase just ripped. I wanna. I'm supposed to be coming to see you. Can I get new luggage? You wouldn't have sent that girl 100 for some luggage?

[Maul]

$100 for luggage?

[Rory]

That's how we got this place in the first place. 100 luggage.

[Damaris]

Can you relax, please?

[Rory]

Who the is buying 100?

[Maul]

Like, who's doing.

[Rory]

Like, luggage is not expect. I'm not even saying.

[Damaris]

I'm like, a suitcase. A suitcase. You could go to Target and get a good suitcase for a hundred dollars.

[Rory]

The ones that we bought for our merch in Chinatown was really the bane of my existence. I was dragging them shits out with, like, one and a half wheels through the air. Sparks coming up on the sidewalk in London.

[Maul]

Bad luggage.

[Rory]

And that was more than a hundred dollars.

[Maul]

Bad luggage. That luggage was so terrible. But, I mean, we got our way out of it, though. We. We had. We'd hit a couple cities with that luggage.

[Damaris]

I've had luggage that lasted me for a year that you can get from Target, TJ Maxx, anything for the hardcover luggage for $100.

[Maul]

All right, but walk me through a baby D. You coming to see me? Your luggage ripped like, damn, I need a new suitcase. You're gonna send me. You're gonna ask me for how much money? Because you're not gonna sit because I know you. If I get you some TJ Maxx luggage, you gonna be. I'm in your group chat, girl. Look at the luggage this bought me.

[Damaris]

I wouldn't do that. I wouldn't do that.

[Maul]

Why are you lying? It's your birthday. Stop lying.

[Damaris]

I'm gonna complain, because that's when you're supposed to lie. If I'm gonna complain to complain about something that you bought me, then I. I can't do that. Because if that's the case, then, girl, go buy it yourself. Since you got it like that, we.

[Maul]

Just Watched a gentleman get put on the summer jam screen for sending $30.

[Damaris]

For lunch on Valentine's Day.

[Rory]

Know we're talking about women right now. Like, you think that the most ungrateful, entitled creatures on earth.

[Maul]

First of all, I would have to. I would have to, like, send you the money. So, like, you would want me to. The question would be, all right, how much is it? How much are you telling me to send you it?

[Damaris]

Well, I'm gonna go look at the suitcases.

[Maul]

And you're not looking at TJ Maxx suitcases. You're not looking at Target suitcases.

[Damaris]

Well, maybe. Obviously she would, because her was lumped up.

[Maul]

Up paying for it. Upgrade.

[Rory]

Women have way different eyes when they know it's not coming from their. True.

[Damaris]

Very true.

[Maul]

Yeah, y'all get very y'all. Y'all. Y'all taste levels go up when you ain't paying for dinner. Now all of a sudden, you surfing turf.

[Rory]

Yeah.

[Maul]

Well, you ain't never been sea guy. You ain't never been surfing. Now you are foodie. Yeah.

[Rory]

Now you understand wine.

[Maul]

All of a sudden, now you're a sommelier.

[Damaris]

I don't know what kind of women y'all dating because we spend. I spend the most money and get the most food when I'm out with my girls. When I'm out with men, like, I eat real cute and, like, normal. I'm on my girls.

[Maul]

Yeah, that's when you first meet him. Yeah, we know. We know how it go when y'all first meet. We get it.

[Rory]

Jaemera's lying. Like, you wouldn't end up in the group chat. If a girl asks you for $500 and you send her $500, she'll go in a group chat and say, girl, he actually sent me 500.

[Maul]

He sent me 500 exactly.

[Rory]

Like, why didn't he send me a thousand?

[Damaris]

Y'all need to date regular women. That's I've been telling y'all.

[Rory]

These are war stories from men.

[Maul]

I know I've never run across this no more. That does not happen with me. But I'm saying it happens.

[Damaris]

Yeah, it happens for sure.

[Maul]

Yeah, that's what I'm saying. So you're not sending me. So back to the luggage. You're not sending me. You're not gonna say, send me a hundred dollars for the luggage.

[Damaris]

I wouldn't ask you to buy my luggage. But I'm saying if she would have.

[Maul]

If you asking any guy, like, your luggage break you in a situation. What luggage? How much are you asking for? If you Say, all right, I got you. How much do you need? What are you saying?

[Damaris]

I'll probably say 500.

[Maul]

That's sick. Shooting the five is sick.

[Rory]

Yep. This.

[Maul]

Shooting the five, is this absolutely true?

[Rory]

No numbers in places.

[Maul]

His wife was 400.

[Damaris]

It depends on what he does for a living. So it also.

[Maul]

There they go. There they go. Counting the pockets. What I do for a living now I'm on Google. Now I'm in your Google search bar. You know what I'm saying?

[Rory]

And like, women even really know what the return is with certain jobs.

[Maul]

Yeah, you gotta have money.

[Rory]

Have you seen Spotify? Now he's broke.

[Maul]

Yeah, you don't know my expenses. Like, what you mean? Yeah, it depends on how much he make. You don't know how much I make.

[Damaris]

I feel like women take all of that, you know? Not just speaking for some women. Not all. And not myself. I'm just saying that some women will. Okay. He makes this amount of money. Chat GPT. He lives here. How much is the rent and how much is his.

[Maul]

She want to know how much my rent is because she need new luggage.

[Rory]

To me, that's. That's stalking.

[Maul]

How does she end up at my rent? She just. Her luggage broke. Let's stay on course here. Her luggage.

[Rory]

Where we started, her luggage broke. Now you're looking at my ass.

[Maul]

Nasty wants to know how much my rent is. This is. This world we live in is the worst job.

[Damaris]

Ask anybody for money. Like, especially men. Like, there's men I was dating that I would never ask for 500 because I know he don't have 500. But there's men. I know that. 500 ain't to them. So y'all asking for 500 because 500 isn't to you. I take that into account. I'm not going to be dating somebody who is a professional athlete and then dating somebody who works for Amazon and expecting them to buy me the same shit and have the.

[Maul]

Yeah, because once you start dating a dude that's an athlete, you'll never date a dude that work at Amazon.

[Damaris]

Again, I don't think that.

[Rory]

But again, that's where we see it.

[Maul]

We mean, you don't think it's true? We see it. As soon as a girl start dating a pro bowler, you think she's dating the supervisor at Amazon. Not happening.

[Damaris]

Amazon makes some money though.

[Maul]

Do he? Do I know what that nigga just. What? They just cashed him out. The pro bowler. They just gave him 550.

[Rory]

But that's where women are wrong. Because they'll Think just because he's an athlete, he got bread not knowing there's like a league minimum and he's on the practice squad and the Amazon manager, you don't.

[Damaris]

Women who date professional athletes, you don't think that they look that up?

[Rory]

Oh, of course. But there are the. The ones that are just entering into this lifestyle that just think athlete. You're talking about the professional whores that know. No, not even they know the commissioner.

[Damaris]

I don't date pro athletes, but if I'm going to date a pro athlete, I'm going to look up his contract and I know whether he's red shirted or not. Like, I feel like that's.

[Rory]

That's.

[Maul]

What'd you say?

[Rory]

Richard? They have no idea what they're talking about.

[Maul]

Richard.

[Damaris]

Red shirt.

[Maul]

Oh, red shirt. I thought you said Richard. I'm about to say Richard who?

[Rory]

So Damaris is suggesting that she would date a college man?

[Maul]

Yeah, I don't know.

[Rory]

Usually a College freshman, an 18 year.

[Damaris]

Old G League, whatever.

[Maul]

You wouldn't date nobody in the G League.

[Damaris]

I don't know.

[Maul]

Bronnie can clap that. We're not doing that.

[Damaris]

Bronnie is like 10. That boy is like 17 years old. Please.

[Maul]

Bronnie can spank them, baby.

[Rory]

First of all, Bronnie is not the regular G League.

[Maul]

That's what I'm trying to tell baby.

[Damaris]

D, I told you I wouldn't fuck LeBron. And you told me I was lying.

[Maul]

If I. Yeah, that's Cap. That's Cap. That's Cap.

[Damaris]

You telling me I will fuck Brownie. Brownie. I call that boy Brownie.

[Maul]

Brownie. Brownie is crazy.

[Rory]

She already got a cute nickname for him.

[Maul]

Brownie. Yeah, she want to make him some brownies already.

[Damaris]

Look, yo, I cannot. But, yeah, sorry. The woman with the luggage, her luggage was fucked up. That's bad. Ladies don't go over to a man house before and.

[Maul]

Are you asking me this? And we never. This is our first time hanging out. Like, we never had sex. We never seen each other. We never.

[Damaris]

Oh, no, that's crazy. Crazy. Then you're a process.

[Maul]

All right, so now we get into.

[Damaris]

So her first time seeing you, she came with the up luggage?

[Maul]

Yes.

[Damaris]

Oh, did you still.

[Maul]

No, wait, hold on, hold on, hold on.

[Damaris]

You didn't. That girl because her luggage was up?

[Maul]

No, not. Not because of that. It wasn't even a sexual thing, really. It was like, yo, all right, come to the city. Come to New York. So it wasn't like no sexual talk or nothing like that.

[Damaris]

If her luggage Would have been nice. She would have her though.

[Maul]

It wasn't. It wasn't the luggage.

[Rory]

It was a yes, yes.

[Maul]

No, honestly, it wasn't. It wasn't the luggage because like I said, even before she came out to see me, it wasn't like we didn't have no. It wasn't no sexual conversations, but the.

[Rory]

Luggage bothered you so much that there was clearly something in your subconscious that wanted to her because that stopped you from.

[Maul]

She was attractive. But then when I saw her luggage, I'm just like, how long?

[Rory]

How long is the trip too? Because now, like, like, no, let's say you really wanted to beat and that stopped you from beating. Now she's just at your crib for four days.

[Maul]

No, it was only. It was four days.

[Rory]

I mean, my hell.

[Maul]

Nah. No, it was a quick flight, maybe two hours.

[Rory]

You bring the shitty luggage on a two hour flight?

[Maul]

No, you can't.

[Damaris]

Nah, she's coming from la.

[Maul]

That luggage, she should never. That luggage should be the luggage that you keep in storage when you got in there, miss. That's the miscellaneous that you got in your crib and you stole all that in the bag and put that in storage. I'm like, yo, you flew out with that with storage luggage.

[Rory]

What if she came with the Gap bag?

[Maul]

I'm not mad.

[Damaris]

The Gap?

[Maul]

Well, I wonder what the Gap.

[Rory]

Then I'd wonder, like, did you bring clothes? You're staying here for a few days. You come in with just that bag.

[Maul]

Oh, do you mean like a coat? No, no, no, no, no, no.

[Damaris]

Because you're taking me there.

[Maul]

I'm taking you. Look at yo this I'm telling. And this is a real mentality that women have.

[Damaris]

Well, I'm saying stuff just to piss more.

[Maul]

No, but no, no, no, I know you are. I know you're saying that to piss me off, but you know that women really think like that. Yeah, 100%.

[Rory]

I'm not inflating a single number here. A woman who I was sort of like a couple times asked me for money for her light bill. I said, all right, it's a light bill. How much is it? She said, $3,000. So you live in the Superdome?

[Maul]

Yeah, 3,000.

[Rory]

Are you lighting MetLife?

[Maul]

What the fuck are Eiffel Tower?

[Damaris]

That shit was probably a year overdue.

[Rory]

But to me, I would have respect. I mean, I was never, never gonna give her $3,000, but I would have respected if she just flat out asked me for 3K. Like, now you're trying to manipulate, like, I'm like, dumb yeah, like if you would have said mortgage or rent, 3K would have been like, okay, I see where you're coming from. A light bill.

[Maul]

Yeah.

[Damaris]

Nah, maybe she was behind.

[Maul]

Well, guess what? You ain't gonna be.

[Rory]

There's no way you're getting a 3k in debt and your lights are still on.

[Damaris]

Nah, that happens.

[Maul]

No, it happens.

[Damaris]

Especially if you got a kid. If you got a kid. They keep them on longer, too.

[Rory]

Yeah, Con Edison does not play that. PSE and Geo.

[Maul]

No, they're turning the lights off.

[Rory]

If you owe 200.

[Maul]

No, they'll keep.

[Damaris]

Especially, like I said, especially if there's a kid in the house. They won't turn it off. 300 every month. And that makes me want to kill myself.

[Rory]

How you register?

[Maul]

Turn that flat iron over every time you leave the house. You got it plugged in. Just unplug it.

[Damaris]

When have you ever seen my hair flat?

[Maul]

I don't know. I don't know.

[Damaris]

We talking. It's gas. You know, gas and like that, but. Yeah, but, y'all know, more cheap. It's low key.

[Maul]

I'm not cheap. See? I'm not cheap. Don't do that.

[Damaris]

You're cheap for how much money you make.

[Maul]

No, I'm not. What you mean?

[Damaris]

I'm cheap when it comes to. When it comes to spending money on women, Men in your of your stature will be spending way more money you don't spend money on. Unless they. Your. You don't just spend money.

[Maul]

So you. You mean like common sense? Like. Like, oh, I got common sense is what you're saying. All right. Yeah, all right, I'll take that. Unless it's your. Yeah, if it's mine, she get whatever she want. But if it's just a fun moment, I'm not. You think I'm cashing out on the girl that's gonna leave me and then go be with somebody. That's a rental car. How much you paying for a rental car? Right or wrong? You just fill it up with gas and return it. Here's a little money for you. I'm saying, got food, you know, whatever. Yeah, I had to get out of here. Go have fun with the next.

[Rory]

No, I think she might have a point because we went to. We went to the club in London. You was gonna pay for everybody's shit bottles, all that. And I was like, damn, I've never even seen Maul on this forum before. This is kind of ill to watch him move this way. And then like, you conveniently forgot your card and I had to pay. I Was like, maul got me. God damn it.

[Maul]

It was gonna be on the same card.

[Rory]

Nah, but you, you were talking to talk like you were paying for everything when we were in that car.

[Damaris]

Yeah, yeah.

[Rory]

Cause if that, if that was the case, you would have told. You would have told them. Girls were like, yo, me and Rory got you.

[Maul]

No, no, no.

[Rory]

The way you was talking, I was like, oh, all right.

[Maul]

He got it. He. I. We was in London. He trying to make content. Like, when, when we was there one time we went out, I definitely paid for. When we went. When we went to dinner, I paid for. For all of us. When we went to Soul House, all.

[Rory]

Of that was on us.

[Maul]

No, no, you left. You went back to the room. I picked up the tab.

[Rory]

Yeah, on our card.

[Maul]

No, that was my card.

[Rory]

Oh, all right, bet.

[Maul]

See, Thanks.

[Rory]

I appreciate it. That was a kind gesture of you.

[Maul]

You know what I'm saying? Like, everybody. I got it. Like, it's. It's dinner. All right, cool. No problem. But I'm not going to Chanel and just cashing out on no chick I just met. You bugging the fuck out. Yeah, I see.

[Damaris]

You won't even buy a bitch luggage.

[Rory]

Okay, but not. Is it.

[Maul]

That ain't my bitch.

[Rory]

Is it kind of the cousin of dirty Mackin, though, that if you and your man have a joint card and company together and one is flexing about, yo, we got it. I got you. Like, I'll pay for everything. You supposed to also say, your man if you're on the joint account, right? That's like kind of dirty, man.

[Damaris]

You supposed to say like, we got you. Yeah, yeah, we got you.

[Rory]

You talking all this and I can't even get like the flex points with you. But it's not like the low value women that, that are attracted by that type of thing.

[Maul]

But it's not a flex, though. See, I'm not. My mind is not even going there. If me and you out at a club out of town and we got some people with us. I'm not trying to flex on nobody. I'm like, me and Rory out together. Like, we just went to go to the club. All right, cool. That's not. To me, that's not a flex.

[Damaris]

Like, Rory went to get something, you was like, nah, bro, whatever you want. Like, it's not me the whole time. It's.

[Rory]

I can see the credit card. That's our company name.

[Maul]

I see he making content. I never did that. I never did that peach. I never did that peach. You know what I'm saying? Like, look how they try to paint me. I never did that in my life. Yeah, that's the night you found a nitrous can on the floor and started huffing.

[Damaris]

Are you serious?

[Maul]

He didn't huff it. He was drinking. He found a nitrous can outside the bar and took a picture of it and sent it to the chat. And we started. We started joking like, yo, you doing nitrous? You come to London to huff nitrous? Like, all right, that's what's up.

[Damaris]

That's one drug I've never done. I've never done that.

[Maul]

Like the Whippets and all that.

[Damaris]

Yeah, I've never done that than that.

[Rory]

Don't trust.

[Maul]

What is that?

[Rory]

I don't even know how you get into that.

[Damaris]

Poppers make your loose, right?

[Rory]

What the. What do I.

[Maul]

No, take it away. This is your segment right here. Take it away.

[Rory]

What are poppers pop?

[Damaris]

I've heard of the drug poppers, right. I think the gays use it and it like, loosens the anus muscles. Right? Peach. Peach, yeah.

[Rory]

No, that's just Indian food.

[Maul]

I don't think peach is gay. So I don't think that's his like.

[Rory]

Expertise saying your right. Peace.

[Maul]

Yeah, right. Pe. Like, what is that?

[Damaris]

Yeah, Poppers are recreational drug belonging to the nitrate family of chemical compounds with fumes are inhaled. They act as a potent facilitators producing mild euphoria, warmth and dizziness. Most effects have a rapid onset and are short acting.

[Maul]

Yeah, but what does it say? Something about making your ass loose? Like, I don't see loose ass anywhere up here.

[Damaris]

Oh, I think we would have had to read deeper in the article, but that's what I heard that they do. It's facts. Pizza facts.

[Rory]

Yeah. Okay, so is that like how the gays know that they're catching a vibe? Like, if they pull out the poppers and they're with it, it's like, oh, all right. That's like saying, yo, you're trying to come home.

[Maul]

Okay, look, I. I like this question. Go up. See, somebody asks, what are poppers? They start with, everybody knows what poppers are. No, the.

[Damaris]

We do not.

[Maul]

I don't know what poppers are. But then they say, right question about.

[Damaris]

No mall is like.

[Rory]

I thought it was like a hip hop mall.

[Damaris]

Intrigued. But yeah. Sorry, I didn't mean to get us off topic. This whole episode has us.

[Rory]

Yeah, we haven't looked at the.

[Damaris]

It's my birthday. We're kicking it and this week.

[Maul]

Yeah, you know how it go.

[Damaris]

No, I'm not Going to get toe up. I'm not. I'm going to have a couple little drinks.

[Maul]

But, you know, no woman has ever had a couple little drinks. That's not even a real thing for.

[Rory]

A woman on a birthday.

[Maul]

No, a couple little.

[Damaris]

Well, on my actual birthday, I'm just going to El Molino with Alex. Like, it's going to be very calm. Like, that's what I'm doing on my actual birthday. We're chilling.

[Maul]

And then what you doing when you land in Houston, Texas?

[Damaris]

When I land in Houston, I'm going to try to find a horse. Horse to ride. An actual horse. An actual horse right now.

[Maul]

All right. Because I. Listen.

[Rory]

That's a version of checking in.

[Maul]

Yeah. That's how baby, check is. Where's the Clydesdales?

[Damaris]

I'm gonna try to find an actual horse to ride in Houston, and then I'm gonna lay by the pool until I have dinner later on that night. So.

[Maul]

Okay, so horse riding, suntan dinner, and then the club.

[Damaris]

And at the club. I want to survive, bro. I'm wearing seven inch heels. I want to make it until seven inch heels.

[Maul]

How short is the dress?

[Damaris]

I'm actually wearing micro shorts. I'm wearing shorts that look like underwear. However, I will have stockings underneath because I am a lady.

[Rory]

Of course.

[Maul]

Yeah, of course you are.

[Damaris]

My back gonna be out, though. Back gonna be out. Booty gonna be out. But I'm gonna have stockings on. Seven inch heels. Yeah.

[Maul]

So you gonna get that clydel. You gonna find it. That's like, hey, you walking in there with hay in your hand for the horses.

[Rory]

With. With a weave from them, too. What?

[Damaris]

You keep.

[Maul]

What?

[Rory]

I'm sorry. From a Indian girl. A child slave. Like, what?

[Damaris]

Yeah, Is that better? Or I could have been wearing my real hair like some poor little Indian.

[Maul]

Girl that shaved her head.

[Damaris]

Like, why you acting like I'm some bald head? Like I got hair.

[Maul]

Get into your bag now, baby. Because he came for you. He came for you. What the gay say clock it. Is that what they say?

[Damaris]

Did I say it right? Wait, okay. We have to get to some of the things on this list.

[Maul]

No, we don't. I promise you we don't.

[Rory]

Can you send us a selfie of your birthday makeup?

[Damaris]

Of course. You've never seen me with ugly birthday makeup, though, all right? Ever. You've been with me on my birthday. You took me to the. That's the last time I was at a club, by the way. Is when you guys took me shout out to Sean. We went up my birthday.

[Rory]

That's cause you had us as supervision that would never allow you to do real birthday makeup. Makeup.

[Damaris]

I don't do ugly birthday makeup.

[Maul]

Get your off baby. Let him know you don't go to the mall to get your makeup done.

[Damaris]

No.

[Maul]

You know that's not women do that.

[Damaris]

I know they used to. I've done it before when I was younger go to the Mac lady to do do your makeup. They probably nice now. Back then they made you look like a powdered donut but yeah.

[Maul]

Yeah they've gotten better.

[Damaris]

Yeah.

[Maul]

It's hard to see a girl with bad makeup now I don't even really.

[Rory]

Trust like you know how they made prom now is like a whole like a real thing but when I was going to pro every girl had the worst makeup on earth for and anytime a girl shows me her prom photo I can trust her when it's the worst makeup I've ever seen. You're of age.

[Maul]

Yeah.

[Rory]

Ugly makeup Every time at the prom.

[Maul]

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[Rory]

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[Maul]

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[Rory]

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[Maul]

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[Rory]

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[Maul]

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[Rory]

Hey, everyone. Welcome back to bachelor happy hour. I'm Jo.

[Damaris]

And I'm Serena and we are here.

[Rory]

With the I heart music awards and.

[Damaris]

David's bridal who are sponsoring this podcast and we are so grateful to them.

[Rory]

Thank you. Thank you for finishing my sentence. And we are here with our favorites dot and charity.

[Damaris]

Where were you in bikinis in the snow? Montana. Okay. She flew out and joined you guys. Isn't it cold? No, it was we. Well, yeah. Bikinis in the snow.

[Maul]

Wow.

[Damaris]

They were sick though.

[Rory]

I don't get bikinis in the snow.

[Damaris]

Just like an aesthetic. Yeah.

[Rory]

I don't know if him and I did that. That if we did like speedos in the snow, you guys would be like douchebags.

[Damaris]

I would be like, let's see it. I would not complain to do stuff like that. He's like, no. That's gonna be the name of this podcast episode. Bachelor happy hour.

[Maul]

Speedos in the snow.

[Rory]

David's bridal. If you're listening.

[Maul]

Branding a little bit.

[Damaris]

Hey, this is Shirley Strawberry.

[Rory]

And you know what?

[Damaris]

It's like you're driving around all over town and your schedule is packed all day long. I mean, you're booked and busy. That's when your me time becomes even more important. Well, what if your me time and your driving around time were the same in the all new 2025 Nissan Murano? They can be. I mean, the Murano was literally designed to help you relax. We're talking about ambient mood lighting in over 64 different colors and a Bose premium sound system playing all your favorite music. So you can just dial up the music and the lighting to set whatever vibe you want. And just like that, you created your own personal oasis. And you're still getting everything done that your crazy day dictates. I mean, it's not often that productivity and relaxation intersect. Right, but they certainly do. And the all new Murano. Because no amount of rushing around is going to get you down when you're chilling in a Murano. Check it out for yourself. Drive the all new 2025 Nissan Murano today. Ambient lighting and Bose are optional features. Hi, this is Debbie, your blinds.com design consultant. Oh, wow, A real person.

[Rory]

Yep.

[Damaris]

I'm here to help you with everything from selecting the perfect window treatment to. Well, I've got a complicated project. No problem. We make the complex simple and I can even help schedule a professional measure and install. I didn't realize you did that.

[Maul]

Yes.

[Damaris]

Yeah, we can also send you samples fast and free. Wow. I mean, I always thought I needed a designer to come to my home, but scheduling is always a Nightmare.

[Rory]

Not with blinds.com, we're on your schedule.

[Damaris]

And there's no haggling, no pressure, no hidden fees either. Hmm. I just might have to do more. Oh, okay.

[Maul]

Whatever you need.

[Rory]

How about you tell me what you had in mind?

[Damaris]

Okay then. So the first room we're looking at is for guests. Blinds.com has covered over 25 million windows, all backed by a 100 satisfaction guarantee. Shoplines.com now and save up to 45 on select styles. Rules and restrictions may apply.

[Rory]

Do we get into this morning routine? We went on a whole tangent. Ashton hall is his name. Should we break down his morning routine first? First of all, 3:52am if you want to get up early. Cool.

[Maul]

What?

[Rory]

A specific number? Because if he woke up at 3:50, that means he walked around his house for two minutes with tape over his mouth.

[Damaris]

Well, he had to set up the camera.

[Maul]

All right, so what is this?

[Rory]

So you set up the camera with tape over his mouth?

[Damaris]

Well, that's Mouth. Okay. Well, first of all, you guys don't even know that's called mouth taping. And mouth taping helps you because it keeps you from breathing out of your mouth while you're asleep. You're forced to breathe in through your nose. So one, it helps people who snore. And it also helps keep your jawline tight because breathing out of your mouth is not the best for your facial structure. Why is Eddie naked?

[Rory]

Can you get Eddie?

[Maul]

Eden is just a hostage. That's all he is. He's a.

[Rory]

The cartel has him now.

[Maul]

Yeah.

[Rory]

You know, that's like gaffer tape that he.

[Maul]

That's gorilla glue tape. Yeah, that's like electrical tape. His dad is super, so, you know that's electric. Yo, Eden is a fool, man.

[Rory]

All right, so 3:52am okay.

[Damaris]

He takes. I guess he takes his. The mouth tape off.

[Rory]

No.

[Damaris]

Oh, it's asmr. So I'm one of the people who like watching men do things.

[Maul]

Things like you don't like watching men do this?

[Damaris]

I do. I like. I like watching. Well, mainly clean. I don't want to see you like naked. You could put a shirt on. But like, I like women clean and content and stuff.

[Maul]

Okay.

[Damaris]

That's fun.

[Rory]

Do you think he lied about the times of brushing his teeth and was way shorter than that?

[Damaris]

We all lie about what time we get up.

[Rory]

Because I don't. I. Of course, but I don't think he brushed his teeth for two minutes. I was. I was really clocking everything on this entire routine. That was my biggest issue going outside of 401. Who was taking notes. Do you have an assistant?

[Damaris]

Well, when you record, it's on the camera.

[Maul]

But wait, this is his morning routine?

[Rory]

Yeah.

[Maul]

He. He capping he not getting up at 3:52 doing all this?

[Rory]

Nah, it's for content, though.

[Maul]

I get it's for content.

[Damaris]

Well, well, to be fair, some people go to work at 8am and the best time to get all of this done is before you go to work. Because I get up to go to the gym when me and Alex are on our. Me and Alex get up at 5 o'clock in the morning to go to the gym. Gym.

[Maul]

So you don't have to be nowhere at 8am, Damaris.

[Damaris]

No, but I have to be somewhere by 11am so that's why I get up at 5am, go to the gym, do all my stuff. Do I got to do a full face of makeup and stuff to come to work. So it takes me a while.

[Maul]

You get up at 5am to be somewhere at 11am we go to the gym and get.

[Damaris]

I journal in the morning. Like, sometimes I stretch.

[Maul]

That is crazy.

[Damaris]

Yeah.

[Maul]

I wish I would get up at 5 and I got to be somewhere at 11. This.

[Rory]

This reminded me I'm up for 6.

[Maul]

Hours before I got to be somewhere. That's like going to the airport. Your flight is at 4, and you get there at 11am what are you doing? Why are you here, you terrorist?

[Rory]

If you're flying with my mother, yeah, that's how it goes.

[Maul]

That is fucking crazy.

[Damaris]

But that's. That's morning routine. We just talked about morning routine. That's morning routine. Shit. I want to work out for an hour and 15 minutes. I want to take a shower. I want to make myself breakfast. I want to journal. Like, all of that stuff takes time.

[Rory]

Shit. This reminded me when Mark Wahlberg's morning routine went, like, viral a few years ago. Remember that?

[Maul]

I believe Mark Wahlberg, though.

[Rory]

Same. But 2:30am I'm waking up. 2:45, prayer time, 3:15, breakfast. Do you know the type of psychopath you have to be to be able to silently pray for 30 minutes?

[Maul]

Maybe he's Muslim.

[Rory]

No, he's Irish Catholic. There's not enough Hail Marys in our book that you could ever. The guy that yelled racial epithets was praying for 30 minutes. He was trying to, you know, ask for forgiveness, right?

[Maul]

Yeah, he had a wild week.

[Damaris]

So why. Why did this Ashton thing go viral?

[Maul]

Because people are just bored and anything goes viral.

[Damaris]

Is he someone.

[Maul]

I never saw this, so I don't know.

[Damaris]

Is he just a content creator or does he have a job? And he started creating content. Like, you know, like, is he.

[Rory]

This is like a genre because it's not just him. There's a couple other people that are doing this. And what's so funny is I had that question with all of them. You can never figure out what they do during this routine because they go to, like, their job job. And it's a quick clip. Like, yeah, let's close that million dollar deal. And I'm like, this guy's a scammer. That's how he has that Ferrari. Like these two. I don't want to put it on his jacket, but they all feel like scammers to me. Let's continue on at 401am okay, first of all, doing push ups because I think he goes to the gym eventually. Doing push ups before you go to the gym is the weirdest thing in the world to me. On your balcony and then take your nose guard off.

[Maul]

Nah, that's a. That's a breathe right strip, right? Yeah. Okay, so maybe he has like sinus issues. I don't know. He has breathing issues. We don't know because he had a mouth. He had mouth tape on for.

[Damaris]

Yeah, yeah.

[Maul]

And then he had his breathe right band on his nose. So he's congested. Okay.

[Rory]

His. His traps are the size of my femur. I don't think he has. Has breathing problems.

[Maul]

Okay.

[Rory]

Looks like it looks pretty healthy to me.

[Damaris]

Okay.

[Rory]

Ash, put a shirt on. Journaling shirtless is.

[Damaris]

Yeah, the shirt off. The entire shirt.

[Rory]

Journal, shirtless. Anyway, can we go back to the time of how much he spent journaling to then just go on his phone and watch YouTube?

[Damaris]

Eight minutes. Yeah, eight minutes journaling.

[Maul]

Be serious about the Lord's business. Church.

[Damaris]

He's into the five minutes.

[Rory]

That's a new ALS challenge. And I've noticed none of these guys wear socks.

[Damaris]

Did he put out a Van Cleef to go work out?

[Rory]

Yeah.

[Maul]

Yeah.

[Rory]

Okay, pause for a second. If, if I ever was waiting for an elevator at, at 6:00 in the morning and there's someone setting up a tripod to get the doors to open and close, I'm moving out of that building or I'm knocking your camera out the way.

[Maul]

Yeah.

[Rory]

Imagine waiting in the hallway for this.

[Maul]

That's the only thing with this. It's like if you got to set up the camera, it's like, nah, I ain't got.

[Damaris]

Yeah, this takes a while. That's so that's the thing about day in the life of. That's why I don't do them as often. They take a very long time.

[Rory]

That's why this is all Cap. He probably did this at 2:00 in the afternoon. There's no way you can set up. There's two minutes in between each action. You had to set the camera up every single time.

[Maul]

No, I'm. He's. We put much on the time. He's obviously lying about the time. I think I see that. That might be part of the whole thing. Yeah, the time. And he's just. He's lying, which is cool, I guess. It's funny.

[Damaris]

Dead, sprinting, desperate.

[Rory]

I think he sprinted for all four of those camera angles.

[Damaris]

No way. He about to get in the pool too. Okay, turn this off.

[Rory]

The funniest, the funniest meme over the weekend of this was he floated for four minutes. Cuz there was time between him diving and him going in the pool. Yeah, he was in the air for four minutes.

[Maul]

It's Traps. He's in shape. Yeah, for four minutes.

[Damaris]

Okay, so he did push ups. He went to the gym. And he must be doing 75 hard. You need to work out outside and a workout inside during.75 hard.

[Rory]

What's 75 hard? That's like poppers to me.

[Damaris]

No.

[Rory]

Is that like a workout?

[Damaris]

Hey, yo. It's a. It's like a lifestyle challenge. So you take 75 days, you do little to no drinking, and every single day, every single day, you work out twice. One outside and one inside for 45 minutes. You do 10 pages of reading or journaling. Like, you know, that's 75 hard. I was thinking about doing it. I was gonna ask Maul to do it with me and start next month.

[Maul]

You guys, I'm getting old. 75 hard. When I was growing up with something else.

[Damaris]

Like what?

[Rory]

That was really funny because I didn't even put the DM75 hard.

[Maul]

I'm just saying, I was like, oh, that's how much you want? That's how much work you want. All right, cool. You want. Oh, you want the crack cooked up? 75 grams cooked. All right, cool.

[Rory]

Would you guys do this con. This type of content if you did 75 hard?

[Damaris]

I would, but I do content anyway, so mall wouldn't.

[Rory]

If you. If you two did something like this, I would put it behind a paywall. And you have my money 100 with doing this. If you and J did this, I would pay.

[Maul]

I could never. I could never.

[Rory]

I would pay your three thousand dollar light bill. See you guys do that?

[Damaris]

This is my vlog. I do stuff like this in my vlog, though. You don't watch my vlogs. And I do literally do that.

[Maul]

You ain't never jump in the pool on your vlog?

[Damaris]

No, I did not jump in a.

[Maul]

Pool for four minutes in the air. You never did that, J.

[Rory]

You have never silently journaled in your vlog. I have just dead quiet journaling. No voiceover.

[Damaris]

No. Yeah, I have.

[Rory]

Which episode?

[Damaris]

Which episode?

[Rory]

Maybe I'm behind at least two.

[Damaris]

Or you don't watch them.

[Rory]

I watched the full Vegas one.

[Damaris]

Because you were in it. You narcissist.

[Rory]

No, because I want to make sure I didn't do anything dumb. Opposite of narcissist. What awful thing did I do in this video?

[Damaris]

You guys didn't do anything other than call Bernays sauce. Bernice sauce, but.

[Rory]

Because that's how you pronounce it anyway.

[Damaris]

But yeah, this. I mean, I don't know. There's a. There's a market for it. They get brand deals doing stuff like this. I'm sure some liquor brand or water brand, definitely a water brand is going to give him their water so that he can pour it in. All of that stuff I get doing it. I get the appeal. People watching.

[Rory]

Oh, no. Imagine this Saratoga staff going into work this morning just being offline, didn't even check their phones and seeing the spike in sales. Like, how the did this happen?

[Maul]

Oh, so now this guy dumping. Oh, that's why you laughed when I walked in. Oh, okay, I know.

[Damaris]

Oh, you had Saratoga when you walked in.

[Maul]

Yeah, but I've been drinking. That's that all the time. Only glass bottles is Mountain Valley or Saratoga that I drink. But I walked in today and Josh laughed and I was like, the is so funny. Like. But now I get it. Like, oh, so now everybody's drinking Saratoga because of this viral video. All right, I get it.

[Rory]

Yeah. Let's continue on with. He had to have got paid by them. This whole video is pretty much an ad.

[Damaris]

Nice apartment.

[Rory]

Setting up a tripod in your shower is nuts.

[Damaris]

I'm sorry, was that a banana peel he just put on his face? Oh, he's. Oh, yeah, he's. He's rage baiting for sure.

[Maul]

No, but that's. That's actually. The inside of banana peel is actually great for your skin. No.

[Damaris]

Have you done it?

[Maul]

I've done it before.

[Damaris]

Is that why you order 100 bananas a week?

[Maul]

Well, I eat a lot of bananas cuz I make smoothies every morning. But yeah, the inside of banana peel is definitely great for your skin.

[Damaris]

Okay, check him out.

[Rory]

Thought it was for banana bread. But listen, I do the ice water, so buy a banana.

[Maul]

Great for your pores.

[Rory]

Yeah, yeah. All right, continue. So looking at 10,000 scammers.

[Damaris]

Oh, please.

[Rory]

That's what he. The only thing he was doing for work that day was. Yeah, let's do it. At least 10,000. You're not even talking to nobody. That was like when Rick Ross used to make music videos with the skits. And he'd be talking to people on the phone and you could see all the apps. Yeah, like you not on the phone, bro.

[Maul]

Yeah. Wait, so what does he does this? Is this what he does for a living? He's a concert.

[Damaris]

Who Ashton hall is. I have no idea who this man is.

[Maul]

So just this video went viral. We've never seen or heard about this guy before this.

[Damaris]

Yeah, no.

[Rory]

Also putting on that fit to do that one call and then changing back into some regular home to cook eggs.

[Maul]

He's not cooking Eggs. That's a girl cooking eggs.

[Rory]

Oh, was it? See, I didn't pay attention.

[Damaris]

He's a fitness influencer, so I guess that's his job.

[Rory]

I ain't smoking now, so looking at.

[Maul]

It, bro, we got to go ahead.

[Rory]

And get in at least 10,000. Oh, he got his queen doing that.

[Maul]

My bad.

[Rory]

I respect it.

[Damaris]

Thank you. Please, like, dude, I didn't even like the way he said thank you.

[Maul]

I was supposed to say thank you.

[Damaris]

I didn't like the way he said. I don't like the way he said thank you.

[Maul]

Yeah, I've been up since 3:50. You finally get up and made some fucking turkey bacon and eggs. Thank you. You did something. I done had a whole full day already.

[Rory]

Josh, quickly go to the other guy. We don't have to go through the whole thing. This guy is a fucking serial killer. This is American Psycho right here. Here. Imagine Damaris go home with him in Houston and he wake up like that. First of all, let's start by saying he woke up before the alarm went off.

[Damaris]

Did this.

[Rory]

Did she just bow before the alarm went off?

[Maul]

And sleeping like that is crazy.

[Damaris]

Wait, did she bow to him?

[Maul]

Yeah. See, that's what's wrong. Y'all don't bow to your man no more.

[Rory]

That's. That's a fact. See? Oh, he. He mixing it up with spinach.

[Damaris]

Okay.

[Rory]

And doing that in your bed is crazy. I do respect that. They have all have white women doing this for them, though.

[Maul]

How you know that's a white woman?

[Damaris]

That arm is white.

[Rory]

But the other one wasn't because he's African.

[Damaris]

Please.

[Maul]

All right, I'm done. Y'all not respected. I know pimping when I see pimping. Y'all not respect it.

[Damaris]

Not. The tire said something wrong.

[Rory]

Can't come near me.

[Damaris]

Yeah, that fit dirt. That's a trash fit.

[Rory]

Don't do Carlson like that. This is ridiculous.

[Damaris]

Yo, this is very funny.

[Rory]

He didn't sink that part.

[Damaris]

Okay, for our audio listeners. What's his name?

[Rory]

I'm not sure what his name was.

[Damaris]

Marvin Vinci.

[Maul]

The content creators are having fun.

[Damaris]

Yeah.

[Rory]

And I definitely.

[Damaris]

I want to make one now.

[Rory]

There was some funny ones of, like, weed heads morning routines. The Internet did what they were supposed to do. This weekend. I saw the craziest morning routines ever.

[Damaris]

But, Rory, if I make one, will you be like, my, like, slave? Like, they have? I think that could be good content. No.

[Rory]

Yo, me throwing you your blazer would be. You want me to sing queen to be as well?

[Damaris]

Yeah, that'd be Dope. Well, Marvin Achi was his name. Sorry for our audio listeners who couldn't hear what we were watching.

[Rory]

Who's. Who's the guy that. I remember Drake redid one of his skits. He was the original.

[Maul]

Like, that's not the same.

[Damaris]

I thought that was the target guy.

[Rory]

The target guy?

[Damaris]

Yeah.

[Maul]

Oh, okay.

[Rory]

Like, do we owe him some royalties? Like, he really.

[Maul]

He started a genre, but, yeah, he was cleaning. That was the. Cause we had played routine shit.

[Damaris]

Yeah, no, that was. I think we. You talk about Carlos Harris. We were watching. I was cleaning, but the target dude just went to, like, target, Target. And y'all were making fun of him for setting up his tripod to watch him walk into Target, knowing he had to walk out and come get the truck. Listen, filming content is very, very embarrassing.

[Maul]

Wouldn't it be easier to just have a camera person with you?

[Damaris]

Who paying for that? Who paying for that?

[Maul]

I mean, wouldn't it be. I'm gonna say, if you're one of the bigger influencers.

[Damaris]

Oh, yeah, for sure. But that's. That's an expense.

[Rory]

But. And also, it's. You can tell that he doesn't have someone with him because that camera's not moving at all.

[Damaris]

That is stationary still.

[Maul]

If you have somebody with you that has a little app tripod and they keep setting it up, like me setting it up, walking and then coming back to pick it up, I'm. We're not doing this.

[Rory]

If. If I see a tripod in the parking lot of Target and he walking in, I am driving through that tripod.

[Damaris]

See, you're a hater.

[Rory]

No, you're inconveniencing everyone else's day.

[Damaris]

I'm sure you could go around. I mean, he's not setting it up in the middle of the parking lot.

[Rory]

That guy did. Yes, he did. I've seen people walking through a Target parking lot.

[Maul]

I've seen. I've seen Target addresses, and it was like, that camera's in the middle of. Of the 100.

[Damaris]

It's very. It is very Checkout line.

[Rory]

Oh, my God.

[Damaris]

I hate. I hate doing it. It's one of my biggest struggles with creating content is I like being a. I like being present in the moment, and I don't want to feel. Make everybody else feel uncomfortable when I'm recording. But then I look and I see content creators, like, the real ones, reporting on how much they make, and they making $10 million a year. And I'm over here, like, being embarrassed. Like, girl, pull that camera out.

[Maul]

There's no such Thing as embarrassment. No more. More.

[Rory]

That's true.

[Maul]

People have no shame. People have no pride. All of that is a thing. You have shame. You still have shame. People look at you like that when you feel like there's no shame no more. People not. Are you kidding me?

[Damaris]

I still have shame. I have shame about a lot of things. I have too much shame, so.

[Maul]

But lose some of that shame. Gain some. Gain some of that fame.

[Damaris]

Damn.

[Rory]

I'm saying today's mathematics.

[Maul]

What you going. What you going to do? Trade in that shame for that fame. That's the problem. It's not even really show your. Once you show the baby. Do you know. Once you do that. But you out of here.

[Rory]

Pre popper or post?

[Maul]

Post.

[Damaris]

Okay, I'm cool.

[Rory]

You ought to be a popper influencer.

[Damaris]

Yeah, Popper and show which one works.

[Maul]

That's how you got to do it.

[Damaris]

Yeah. I'm cool with the voiceover.

[Maul]

Absolutely.

[Damaris]

All right, well, what else is on our list? Yo, we just talking it, y'all. It's free reign today. It's my birthday. Birthday turn up if you. Right now. If you listen and take a shot. I don't care if you at work say you going to the bathroom, go across the street to the bar and take a shot of Don Julio for me.

[Maul]

And then when you get fired for being drunk at the job Cold Damaris. And she'll make sure she's taking care of you for the next.

[Damaris]

Yeah, you could. We could have standing host. You guys could come in and take a little bit of, you know, be me for a day or two.

[Maul]

What the. They can't.

[Rory]

I was like, wait, what?

[Maul]

No, they can't.

[Rory]

I feel for them for getting fired.

[Maul]

Yeah.

[Rory]

It's not my business.

[Maul]

No, I won't be here.

[Rory]

Yeah, we need more mothers like, who's my guy? Jaden Daniels. We need more mothers like. Like his.

[Maul]

I saw that at the. They were at the game. So juju. Juju superstar. Future WNBA player.

[Damaris]

Yes.

[Maul]

Plays for usc. She was at. Was it the men's game she was at or was it the women's tournament?

[Rory]

Women's tournament.

[Maul]

It was the women's tournament. She was at the game. And her. And Jaden. Jaden Daniels. Right. Her and Jayden Daines, quarterback for the Washington Commanders, were seen on cam sitting next to each other. Obviously, he's one of the hottest young players in the league. She's one of the hottest young women's players in college basketball. So the camera's gonna catch these two people sitting together having a conversation.

[Rory]

Cheesing though.

[Damaris]

He was cheesing. He was cheesing hard.

[Rory]

Commanders had a great season. Didn't end the way they wanted to, but they had some wild games that I didn't even see him. Cheese. That way in the fourth quarter.

[Maul]

Yeah. But, I mean, you know, it's. I think they were laughing because once they noticed they would. They had them on the Jumbotron, probably in the. In the arena, and they probably was like, oh, man. Like, we. They seem like they both know, like, this is about to go viral. Like, they start looking at their phones. Like, everybody's probably like, yo, y'all are on TV right now.

[Rory]

I think juju got that wrist.

[Maul]

I'm not. I wouldn't doubt it.

[Rory]

I mean, he was giggling him out of his drawers.

[Maul]

Yeah. I wouldn't doubt it. But then. Then mom showed up in the next shot and was sitting between them, and she seems to be pointing to the cam, like the Jumbotron, saying, you know, like, the camera's right there. They can see y'all.

[Damaris]

Oh, he probably got a girl.

[Maul]

Or if he doesn't have a girl, you know, maybe they're just like. The mom was like, we don't even want this to turn into something.

[Rory]

Yeah.

[Maul]

Which is what it. Obviously, you know, I think mom sitting there made it a bigger story.

[Damaris]

It made it a bigger story than.

[Maul]

If they were just sitting there together. Because she was actually pointing directly at the camera. Like. Like the camera can see y'all. Y'all sitting here. Y'all know what they gonna turn this into. Because they could just really just be cool friends. Like, it ain't even nothing like that. But, you know, with the camera catching Juju and Jaden Daniels, you know what social media is going to turn that into, which is what they're trying to turn it into, obviously, but just protective.

[Rory]

Like, because we know juju not going after anyone's money. Would just date a guy because she likes him. Mom wasn't even playing that. That's a. That's a protective mom of the finances of that family.

[Maul]

Nah, but I don't think it was.

[Rory]

No girl could be around us.

[Maul]

No, no, no. I don't think it was that energy. I think it was more so, like, you know, y'all know what they. Y'all know what they gonna turn it into. Like, we not gonna let them do that. Like. Cause they could really. They might even be damned. Cause there's people. She's obviously sitting in the section with her family. Cause somebody behind him has a juju shirt on. So obviously he's sitting in the section with probably her family. You know, whatever. Whatever. They might be damn near like family or the mom knows what they gonna try to turn it into, what the camera is gonna try to turn it into.

[Rory]

So did you prefer this relationship reveal or Tiger woods big relationship revealing parties over. Over the weekend.

[Maul]

Well, Tyga kept it. You know, he kept it all the way pimping. He kept. He kept it. He kept it. He kept it with the money.

[Rory]

No, he didn't.

[Maul]

Why?

[Rory]

First of all, saying love. Love is in the air. Is fucking hilarious. To start your caption, though. Love is in the air. Life is better with you by my side. We look forward to our journey. Journey through this life together. At this time, we would appreciate privacy for all those close to our hearts. The reason why I wasn't even aware y'all were dating, I would have kept. I would have kept it private because I didn't know.

[Damaris]

Yeah, but I'm sure somebody knew, I think. Is this a marriage proposal? Like, I think they got engaged or something? No. Looking forward to our journey through life together. Sounds like they just got engaged, so. Yeah.

[Maul]

I mean, well, if you pimping like Tiger, that could just be a weekend. The journey with Tiger could be a. But he could show you the time of your life in two days, though.

[Rory]

Yeah. Did you hear those voicemails Tiger gave me? Crazy.

[Maul]

Yeah, like, Tiger. This is Tiger woods we talking about. So, I mean, you know, life could, for him, could be a week. Change your life in a week.

[Rory]

Tiger, throughout his entire career, has always given us more information than we needed. We didn't know about this relationship till he told us. He even said on that voicemail to the woman he was cheating on his wife with, hey, this is Tiger Woods. Can you please delete all of this so my wife doesn't find out who says their full name to someone they are fucking?

[Maul]

Wait, this is.

[Rory]

And who's the other Tiger? You could have just said Tiger.

[Maul]

This is Vanessa's rap sheet. Like, with her.

[Rory]

The guy she's dated, I know nothing about.

[Maul]

During her teenage years, Vanessa dated local street gangster Valentin Rivera, member of the violent gang Latin Kings. So she went from the Latin Kings to Leonardo DiCaprio. The White King. Leonardo DiCaprio, 1998, Vanessa was leaked.

[Rory]

How old was she in 1998 with.

[Maul]

American actor Leonardo DiCaprio? From 1998 to 2001, Vanessa dated Saudi Prince Ben Sultan Al Saud. Sounds like a lot of money. The relationship ended in 2001 when Khalid bin Banda left the US after his Saudi ambassador Father was suspected of having indirect ties to individuals link with the Al Qaeda hijackers.

[Damaris]

Jesus.

[Maul]

Oh, she with gangsters. She went from the Latin King to Al Qaeda. So then on November 12, 2005, Vanessa married Donald Trump Jr. The wedding was held at the Mar a Lago Club in Florida. The service was officiated by Trump Jr. S aunt. Trump Jr. Had proposed to her with a hundred thousand dollar ring that he had received as a gift from a jeweler in exchange for proposing to her in front of paparazzi outside of the jeweler store at the Short Hills Mall in New Jersey.

[Rory]

And this is why you can't. This is why you can't worry about chicks. Pass. Because then you're gonna find out she was fucking with Al Qaeda.

[Maul]

Like Al Qaeda. Jada.

[Damaris]

Al Qaeda.

[Maul]

Jada Leo, my man. Valentin Rivera. Uptown with the Lat Kings. She went to Leo downtown in Manhattan. Then she went over across seas to the Saudi prince. She.

[Rory]

No, this. She needs like a short series.

[Maul]

Oh, sure.

[Rory]

This would be the craziest movie ever.

[Maul]

Yeah, see, they will never go back. She started with Aladdin King. She ain't been with one since Prince. She went to the prince of Saudi Arabia. She went from the Latin king to.

[Rory]

A Saudi prince, and then she turned 22. So Leo wanted nothing to do with her.

[Damaris]

Leo was young at mid 19.

[Maul]

Holy.

[Rory]

That's nuts. Like, all right, I would love to know the how we met story for every single one of those people.

[Maul]

Yeah, like, where do you meet the Saudi?

[Damaris]

She's a pretty, skinny, blonde white woman.

[Rory]

How'd you get in those rooms?

[Damaris]

Easy for her to get in all the room.

[Maul]

Pretty white women.

[Damaris]

No, but he's saying, how did you get in those rooms? Baby, they pay you to be in the rooms when you're pretty. Yeah, but look at her.

[Maul]

She went from a Latin king to Leonardo DiCaprio to the Saudi prince to Donald Trump Jr. To Tiger Woods. Are you kidding me?

[Rory]

Yeah, her type is criminals.

[Maul]

That's.

[Rory]

Everyone outside of Leo in there is a criminal.

[Maul]

That run. That's the generation she's in, the thugs. Yo, she's on a run. Her origin story is crazy. Yeah, we need a Netflix special on her. We need to know. We need to know, like, what's up with you, shorty? How you go from a Latin king to the Saudi prince? Well, Hollywood King Leonardo DiCaprio to the Saudi prince, Donald Trump Jr. Dad's president.

[Rory]

You went from Al Qaeda to a family that is now controlling the country that your ex blew up up.

[Damaris]

Yo, can you relax? Well, in 2005. Donald Trump Jr. Was just. They weren't in politics at all. 2005.

[Rory]

I mean, they all right. They owned the city that her ex blew up.

[Maul]

Yeah.

[Damaris]

She get into it. I respect it. I wish sometimes I could be that girl. I wish.

[Rory]

All right.

[Maul]

Just told you get rid of that shame.

[Rory]

How. How would you. How would you shoot your shots?

[Damaris]

Well, she didn't know they were attached to Al Qaeda. That was private. She just thought he was a Saudi prince.

[Maul]

That's all that matters. Your Saudi prince. I'll you I don't care what y'all do for your money. Way before Saudi prince oil money.

[Rory]

Well, that's the problem. You have to get on.

[Maul]

Yeah. This part of the black gold is the inside.

[Damaris]

My homegirls were having that. How much would it take for you.

[Maul]

To get on conversations, what number they landed on? Watch the cat.

[Damaris]

Million was the lowest. A million was the cap.

[Maul]

You capping Damaris. Your friends are lying.

[Rory]

I'm going under a million.

[Maul]

You're lying. Damaris. If a pull out 100k cash.

[Damaris]

No, bro. 100k. I could just like do my job well and get 100k. I could like actually put work into content creating and make 100k.

[Maul]

How much? How much? How much work would you have to put in to make a hundred thousand?

[Damaris]

To make a hundred thousand dollars in content creating through brand deals and stuff, I would have to record every day. I would have to take it pretty serious. But it's possible.

[Maul]

A gotta on you one time.

[Rory]

Yeah, but you got with a popper five minutes.

[Maul]

You have to live with the five minutes.

[Damaris]

You have to live with the fact that a shitted on you for the rest of your life.

[Maul]

Yeah. Whether it's a hundred thousand or a million, it's still.

[Damaris]

You gotta spend a lot gonna dry up quick. You know how fast I could spend a hundred thousand? I'm bad with money.

[Maul]

All you gotta do is call that say, hey, your stomach hurt again?

[Rory]

Hit me when you got the bubble gut. I'm there.

[Maul]

Hit me when you start rumbling.

[Rory]

And then I feel like after it happen and it like isn't the worst thing ever. You gonna go back a few times?

[Damaris]

How is the worst thing ever?

[Rory]

I've never been on, but I'm thinking if it happens. And you're like, well, that was awful. But I survived.

[Maul]

Yeah.

[Damaris]

How so you're telling me that you would let a man on you for $100,000?

[Rory]

When you put it that way, it's tough to say yes. But he would let a.

[Maul]

He would let a girl on him. 400k cash.

[Rory]

Yeah, probably.

[Maul]

Absolutely. He would.

[Rory]

Yeah.

[Maul]

100K.

[Rory]

Can I close my eyes?

[Maul]

Eyes, of course.

[Rory]

Oh, yeah. Hell.

[Maul]

And you can put the. The. The ashen hole. The tape on the mouth.

[Rory]

I was about to say. Can I tape my.

[Maul]

Yeah, you can do all of that. That's your morning as long.

[Rory]

Doesn't have to be my morning routine. Just one time.

[Maul]

Yeah, on me. I'll get up, pray.

[Damaris]

It has to be recorded.

[Rory]

That makes it better.

[Maul]

It has to be recorded. Where is this.

[Rory]

I'm telling that to.

[Maul]

Where's this content living at? Is this only fans? Cut me in.

[Damaris]

Y'all are crazy. Bring back shame. Bring back shame.

[Maul]

Ah, they don't care.

[Rory]

I could. They don't care about triple that 100k if it was filmed.

[Maul]

Yeah. Now you're talking about me spreading the content around. Matter of fact, if it's only fans, I need a PC. I need percentage.

[Rory]

Josh, can we talk to volume and see what advertisers would be interested in a video of me getting on? Let's. Let's see. Let's see what this value.

[Maul]

Yeah, we can get a baby wipe brand, body wash brand behind this thing.

[Rory]

You know how in the Dove commercials when they clean like the. The ducks in the oil.

[Maul]

With the oil.

[Rory]

I would be the duck.

[Maul]

Yeah, he would be the duck.

[Rory]

They put me in a sink for the morning routine.

[Maul]

He's the duck.

[Damaris]

A duck ass.

[Maul]

He's the duck. Exactly.

[Rory]

It's the wounded bird.

[Maul]

Yeah. Your girls is lying. A million. They. They coming under that million. A knock on their door with 50k. Cash. They letting it happen.

[Damaris]

50? No, 50.

[Maul]

Look, the marriage. Half your homegirls ain't never seen $50,000 in cash. I can promise you that.

[Damaris]

Most humans have it.

[Maul]

All right, so now we on the same. So now we on the same page. So now tell you. Yo, here. That's your. Just put some tarp on the floor, lay down, let me use the bathroom on you.

[Damaris]

My pride is too. I can't see.

[Maul]

I just told you lose that shame and that pride.

[Damaris]

Yeah. I'm gonna be broke for the rest of my life because I got too much pride. That's fine. I'm cool with that. Morals and integrity ain't that show shit. Morals and integrity. I'm not.

[Maul]

But Vanessa could shit on me for 100k. That's a fact.

[Damaris]

Who?

[Maul]

Vanessa. That's her name, right?

[Damaris]

Yeah.

[Maul]

100K. Sit down, Vanessa. Cash. Sit down, Vi. V. I start calling her. That's V. V. Sit down. Sit down.

[Rory]

That's probably why Tiger went after her. Because we know Tiger's into some weird. He probably found out what she was doing in Saudi Arabia. That's my queen right there.

[Maul]

Tiger said, keep this. We like to keep this private. Thank you. And posted a picture of him and his girl. I hear that you live in a different world. We like to keep this private. He letting you know this is my girl. He letting it be known now give us our privacy.

[Damaris]

He must have went through that phone or went through that IG. Somebody was DMing her. So it's like, yeah, keep this private. I look at our journey together.

[Maul]

Yes. I don't get no dm. Dms. She get flown straight to the. Oh, to the console. Yeah.

[Rory]

She got separate phones for each guy.

[Maul]

The Saudi prince, she don't get no DMs. You crazy. Nah, she's way past that. In order to get in touch with Vanessa, you got to send the jet, let her know. Yes. On the Runway at 10. Be there.

[Rory]

Yeah. Bathroom's out of order.

[Maul]

Yeah.

[Rory]

So, you know, we have to know.

[Maul]

When bathroom doesn't work. So you already know what we're doing when you touch down, so. Good.

[Rory]

I'm sure there's been plenty of pilots that fly the private and have had compromising situations that we're talking about now. Like, we'll give you a little extra if you allow me to on people while you fly this plane.

[Maul]

Oh, yeah, that happens. Private jets, you can do whatever you want. A private jet, a couple times before private, you see the. You see the pilot once you get on and I guess whoever the flight attendant is, but, like, there's a door you can close and have complete privacy. Like. Like, you never have to see them if you don't want to see them. So I was. I just sitting there, I was like, oh, yeah, I get it now. I understand why these be flying proud. You could do whatever you want up here.

[Rory]

But do you think they, like, do the. On the descent or like, they want to live in the smell for the whole flight? Like, out the gate? Once we've reached our cruising altitude, you can take your seat belt off and.

[Maul]

It'S like the WI fi.

[Rory]

Yeah.

[Damaris]

Yeah, the WI fi work.

[Maul]

Yeah, the WI fi work. It's time to take a. Yeah, it's like the WI fi. Once the WI fi could work. Good.

[Damaris]

You not hot boxing. No plane. That's crazy. Crazy.

[Rory]

If. If your thing is on women, I doubt the smell of bothers you. It probably turns you on.

[Maul]

Yeah. You got to be a different type of person. First of all, to do that, your mental is like, on a whole nother.

[Damaris]

Thing, ill say, hell, you call everybody.

[Maul]

Else mentally ill. Yeah, no, that's a. That's a mental illness. Okay, you like on people. That's a mental illness for sure.

[Rory]

I would love to talk to, like, a therapist or someone of, like, how does one get into that?

[Damaris]

How do you even discover you like some like that?

[Rory]

Yeah, because, you know, they have triggers of like. Like, you know why certain people do certain things. Sexual abuse as kids and all that. How do you get to the shit? There has to be something specific that happens.

[Maul]

No, you just. At that point, you. At that point where you just. Now you're just trying to entertain yourself. Like, women are just objects to you. Like, you have. You have so much money, it's like, these are your toys. Like, that's your toilets. That's my American toilet. That's my London toilet.

[Rory]

Like, what's the wild. I get off on the power aspect. What's the wildest thing I could do to this person?

[Maul]

Yeah, for when they, like, for 100 thou. Like 500,000. It's nothing. Oil money, literally, they. They'll on $500,000 white.

[Damaris]

They ass.

[Maul]

You can't even count. You can't even count the type of money they have.

[Rory]

Like, there's no number. Like, they just.

[Maul]

They just. Like, I don't know.

[Rory]

Money doesn't exist at all.

[Maul]

We just live life.

[Rory]

There's no net worth.

[Maul]

Yeah.

[Damaris]

Yeah. I'm cool, though.

[Rory]

Mall did one of my favorite things over the weekend, which is piss off the timeline.

[Maul]

Did I?

[Rory]

Yeah. At this point, like, before, not to say it got annoying with how many people were in mentions about the battle and all that. All that has passed now. I really enjoy watching you get people so upset talking about anything positive with Drake. Like, I. I would just click yesterday on the tweet and just go through every single mention and actually laugh out, like, loud. Like, this was really offending people. They were upset.

[Maul]

Yeah.

[Rory]

Like, they were lashing out at you because you started with saying songs for you isn't leaving rotation anytime soon. Just that one popped it off. And then when you started to go on the Kanye, like, rant about it, I was like, oh, he's gonna make the TDE chat's head explode.

[Maul]

I didn't drop the F bomb. So that's not a Kanye rant. I didn't drop the F bomb one time. I was cautious of that. I was like, I wanted to, but.

[Rory]

Where would it have fit in any of these tweets? Tell me where you deleted.

[Maul]

Might be in my drafts. I might have a few in the drafts, for sure. Yeah, but I wasn't trying to. I was home Sunday, shit, Watching the tournament on tv, on mute and just playing music and cleaning and I'm listening to a bunch of music. But then this Sexy Songs for your came on and I'm listening to it and I'm like, dog, it's been out and we know how now, how hard it is for an album to stay in your rotation after a month of being.

[Rory]

Oh, yeah, it's very.

[Maul]

So it's almost impossible for an album that's not a good album to be in your rotation after a month of being released. But then in listening to it, I started realizing that every time I hear a different record on it, I like a different record more than I like the last time I saw it. I mean, last time I listened to it. So I'm just listening to the album and I just started like, really listening. I'm like, this album is really not just a great album. Out of 21 tracks, maybe I skipped two, maybe three out of 21 tracks, and it still sounds good a month later. I already know what these songs are gonna do in an arena, in a performance setting. Every time you open your phone, somebody is playing the song, one of the songs in the background, making a video to it. So clearly people are playing this album. They're listening to the music. But I'm just listening to it and just really getting into the. Nevermind the energy around Drake and the battle, all of that. I don't even even care about that anymore. I'm just listening to music now, enjoying music. And this is some of the best music I think both of them have in their catalog. Definitely When He's Gone To Me is one of the best. I think that might be incredible song. That might be one of Drake's best verses.

[Rory]

That's probably my favorite song on the project now.

[Maul]

So I'm just. I'm just. Again, I'm just going through the music, listening to it, and just started tweeting about it like, it wasn't to piss nobody off. It was just. Just a tweet.

[Rory]

I think there was a. Just a tiny bit in your head to piss people off, which I think is fine, because I don't. Because while I do not agree, just time wise to say it's a classic album that you tweeted, but I'll say it if it pisses off the Internet, because that was the one I ran to, because I was. Look. Look at the difference. Between all the comments between each one of these tweets, 291 people replied when you said it was a class. Yeah, but again, now, I love that tweet.

[Maul]

But. But again, I wasn't tweeting that to piss anybody off. That wasn't.

[Rory]

You told them to stop lying to themselves.

[Maul]

Because I feel like people are lying to themselves.

[Rory]

I feel like people that say it's a classic, I. It's still in rotation. I like it a lot. I'm not lying to myself by saying I don't know if it's a classic yet.

[Maul]

The same way you know how I feel about this album. The same way I felt about Someone Walkers over it.

[Rory]

That's okay. That's crazy company.

[Maul]

But how is that crazy company?

[Rory]

Cause I think over it is one of the few albums we've had that was like, this is an instant modern classic.

[Maul]

I feel like that about. This has 21 tracks, and you could may. Maybe you'll skip two. Maybe you'll skip Me Padre and the joint with Ice spice. Maybe that's two tracks. You skip out of 21 tracks. If this was two. If this was two new artists, we never heard of them and they dropped.

[Rory]

This project, I'd say, wow, they sound like Drake and Paul Party.

[Maul]

You would say that. You would say that. But would you not say the music is crazy?

[Rory]

Of course I think it's crazy. And I know what artist.

[Maul]

So that's all I'm saying. If you have 21 tracks on the album, and maybe I don't listen to two every time it comes on to me. In 2025, you have a classic album.

[Rory]

Listen, that's subjective to everyone.

[Maul]

Oh, it's definitely subjective. I'm saying to me, Nokia, which is.

[Rory]

An incredible song, is not the new Hotline Bling. And this is where we get into those A Listers convos where we start yelling because I think you guys don't put enough respect on real classic.

[Maul]

Do you understand why I said it's the new Hotline Bling melody?

[Damaris]

No.

[Maul]

Okay. He dropped. He dropped. He dropped Hotline Bling.

[Rory]

Oh, I see. Because of the Hotline Bling Nokia phone. I see what he.

[Maul]

No, no. But not only that. I feel like it was an easy. When you first heard it, it's kind of like, yo, what is he doing? That was. And not only that, he released Hotline Bling in the middle of a beef with Meek. He dropped it out on like a two pack with, like, two other songs.

[Rory]

It was. It was charged up. Hotline Bling and I forgot the third song was three of them, but everyone ran to Charged Up. And I remember coming to the pod the next day like, like, yo, y'all.

[Maul]

Not paying attention to this Hotline Bling record.

[Rory]

That, like, drum remix is crazy.

[Maul]

It's currently number three on the top 100.

[Rory]

Okay.

[Maul]

Number one on US Apple Music. The video comes out Friday. This song is going to be number one on the Hot 100 billboard next week.

[Rory]

Now I see what you.

[Damaris]

The Hot 100 just dropped and it's not in the top in for anyone.

[Maul]

Yeah, Nokia. Yeah, it's number one on Apple Music right now on US Apple Music.

[Rory]

I don't really know a stat like that, but okay, with context, I sort of see what you're saying as far as a song that was like, all right, and it grows on you very quickly of how catchy it is. I just dealt like, Hotline Bling. I think maybe only God's Plan you could really, like, compare to as far as what that song did for Drake.

[Maul]

What do you mean?

[Rory]

I don't think Nokia will ever see the numbers or impact that Hotline Bling had. I think God's Plan would be the only other song but God's Plan is his biggest.

[Damaris]

Hotline Bling was a anomaly. That was. That was insane. I was out of here. Even for Drake standards, it was out of here.

[Rory]

Yeah, but. All right, well, I mean, I just like that you pissed everyone off. That's.

[Maul]

Y'all gonna see. Just remember I said it.

[Rory]

You think it'll do the same numbers that Hotline Bling did?

[Maul]

I'm not gonna.

[Rory]

I feel like it would already have to be on that trajectory.

[Maul]

I didn't say. I didn't say the same numbers. I said it's the new Hotline Blinks. Okay, Meaning exactly what it did. It was dropped post or close to a beef. It was a record that he first heard. It was like, yo, what the Is this? Kind of was like a. It threw you off a little bit. And then it took off and was the biggest record out of the whole.

[Damaris]

Whole.

[Maul]

The whole Beef, man.

[Rory]

I would have been so tight if I was meek. Imagine Back to Back and Hotline Bling both playing when you just. When you're in the middle of a battle, like, all right, man, you got.

[Maul]

All I'm saying, you win. This is all I'm saying.

[Damaris]

I'm looking at them now. I'm looking at Drake's most successful songs on board or One Dance maybe. And My Feelings is up there too, for that songs that were number one. He has a Lot of songs that were number one for ten weeks.

[Rory]

Okay.

[Damaris]

Yeah. So I'm.

[Maul]

We can't. I mean, his numbers is. We can't get into that.

[Damaris]

I'm just. No, I'm just looking at which songs were number one for the longest amount of time. And I'm seeing In My feelings. Hotline Bling. Yeah, there's a couple of them.

[Rory]

I saw a small, small porn dance. The timeline up in Arms over. I guess Party Party's reference for Ratchet, Happy Birthday leaked and everyone was in. Up in arms like, this is why we can't with him. This is why he's not a real artist. I'm like, dog, that doesn't change a single thought in my mind. If Party Next Door wrote Ratchet Happy Birthday, that's.

[Damaris]

Rory hates that song. That's what we're so much.

[Rory]

This is. This is the song in question that we're going to define if we could fuck with Drake or not.

[Damaris]

Rory hates that song.

[Rory]

Yo, I think the padre shit might be worse, but, you know, that's the only.

[Maul]

You don't want to meet her padre. That's your problem. Now.

[Damaris]

God's Plan was.

[Rory]

What if I call.

[Damaris]

God's Plan was Drake's longest running number one song and Hotline Bling actually never went number one. The highest it went was number two. Yep.

[Rory]

Oh, what Taylor had that day.

[Damaris]

And the. And the song that lasted on the Billboard charts the longest was actually going bad. Meek Mill featuring Drake. It didn't go the highest, but it spent the longest amount of time on the charts.

[Rory]

Interesting.

[Damaris]

Yeah, well, but I mean, you know, if. If Mal thinks it's the one, if Maul thinks it's the one, it's possible. Listen, I went viral dancing to it. So I like the song.

[Maul]

Every girl likes that song. It's okay. Enjoy the music. Like, it's good music. It's a good song. Like, people just acting like they don't like it because they, you know, the beef. I get it. But it's like, okay, put that. This is good music. Act like this is not Drake and Party. This is great music on the.

[Damaris]

Well, I can understand somebody saying they might not like it at. And never going back to it because hearing it the first time is something you got to like. Really. You got to be a partier to really, like, understand why the song is good. Because if somebody who just listens to.

[Maul]

Or you just got to have a certain taste level and like good music.

[Damaris]

Not just because something is good to other people does. You know, music is subjective. If somebody Is somebody who.

[Maul]

Steakhouses.

[Damaris]

If somebody just listens to music, like just in their headphones, they don't really like, bump me, you know what I'm saying? Like, that might not be the song for them. And I can understand.

[Maul]

Oh, yeah. I mean that. I mean, we, obviously, we know that it's all subjective, but. But my thing is I'm just looking at 21 tracks from anybody. And if you can consistently, a month later, after that album is produced, released, and listen to at least 19 of those tracks consistently, it's a great fucking project for many artists. I don't give a fuck who put it out. 21 tracks. It's hard for people to listen to 21 tracks consistently is all I'm saying. A month later, the album is sounding better every time I hear it. And I already know what they're gonna do when they performed it. Like, I already know what the arena is gonna look like when they go on tour and start performing these records and all these. All the girls start posting videos. While this is going to be everywhere, it's everywhere. I cannot open Instagram and not see a girl or a guy playing this song in a video. It's impossible. Maybe it's just my algorithm. I don't know. Maybe I just follow certain people. But every time somebody else open, if I'm like, you hear it. Somebody with a phone, tick tock. You hear one of the songs on the album, I'm like, okay, people are listening to this project.

[Rory]

I hear them. Did. Did LinkedIn or like, like some companies sell all our data to Indeed who's.

[Maul]

Indeed.

[Damaris]

You know, everything they say about you is true. Indeed is where you go to find jobs.

[Maul]

Oh, no.

[Rory]

So I've. I've never signed up for Indeed Nothing. I for the past few days have been getting nothing but Indeed emails and calls about job positions. This one is. This is hilarious. This was six hours ago. Podcast producer. Oh, hi, Rory. Your background in digital marketing and project management could be a strong match for this podcast producer role. What podcast is for Rod in Invincible threads? I don't know what they paying? 150. Listen, man, I don't need to be on my.

[Damaris]

Josh, I see you, you see me.

[Rory]

For me to email, health insurance, day time off, dental insurance, vision insurance.

[Maul]

Got to be able to see. See the vis.

[Rory]

I got to hear. Yeah, but yeah, I don't know why I'm being spammed by Indeed constantly for jobs.

[Damaris]

Maybe it's God trying to tell you something. Maybe it's God trying to tell you. You a trash podcaster.

[Rory]

God works in mysterious ways. Listen, man, sorry, that was. Look what.

[Damaris]

Why I did that.

[Rory]

Look what they did to Jesus. Like, God definitely makes sure, you know, his strongest soldiers go through what they need to go through.

[Damaris]

I hear you.

[Rory]

Just so you guys can understand.

[Damaris]

So what are y'all doing with y'all week off? Because y'all know me. I'm gonna be filling my stomach with Italian food and lemon drops. What about you guys?

[Maul]

I don't know. I might live vicariously through you.

[Damaris]

Come to Houston.

[Maul]

I can't, baby. D, let me tell you one place, one city I cannot go to. I can't go to Houston.

[Damaris]

Nah, come on.

[Maul]

Nah, I know me. I'll hit y'all both be like, yo, you know what? It's the end of the road for me, man. Not leaving. I'm not fucking leaving.

[Rory]

I mean, Rory will come down. We could all go and then just stay.

[Damaris]

Rory come down there.

[Maul]

I can't, man. I can't go to Houston.

[Rory]

We just get Peach some nitrous or whatever out there. It'll be fine.

[Maul]

I can't, man. Man, I just know me. I can't do it. I stay away from Houston. See, the thing about me is I'm very so I know the places like, nah, Y'all let me know how I was. I'm not going, cuz. I just know how. How would. Houston would have me forever. I can't spend no time in Houston. Can't do it, yo. I can't.

[Damaris]

I appreciate yourself for wearing.

[Maul]

Yeah, I cannot do.

[Rory]

M is leaving all his in. In his crib. Leave it there.

[Maul]

Burn it, get it, get all new. Don't worry about. About it.

[Rory]

Would you guys judge me if I went to Detroit?

[Maul]

Yeah, because I would want to know why are you going to Detroit?

[Rory]

I may go. My plan of what my therapist is encouraging me to do is absolutely nothing, because I deserve to do absolutely nothing. But it might go for some music.

[Maul]

Like for your album or someone else's. I mean, if that's, you know, that's work, just, you know, work esque.

[Rory]

You know what I'm talking about. Obviously, he wouldn't want anyone to know he's there, so that's why I'm not.

[Maul]

Saying, oh, okay, okay, okay. Oh, but that's. That's.

[Damaris]

You gonna go to Detroit with him instead of Houston with me?

[Rory]

Oh, we. We're gonna have way more fun. Import mall's been on those trips. Way more thrilling to almost die every. Every night than.

[Damaris]

Okay, almost dying in Mexico City is a little different than almost dying In.

[Rory]

I almost died in New Orleans. You name it.

[Maul]

Yeah.

[Rory]

Atlanta.

[Maul]

We going with him. You're going to almost die. Die.

[Damaris]

Oh okay.

[Rory]

Arizona.

[Maul]

But did you die?

[Damaris]

But did you die surrounded by bad. Cuz that's what I'm going to do.

[Rory]

I mean you could just die in Detroit because you in Detroit.

[Maul]

Yeah. Going to get soul food. You can just turn into soul food.

[Rory]

And don't do that. Detroit on the low is actually a very very fun city.

[Maul]

Very low on the. On the very.

[Rory]

What's different? Cuz you live living in Detroit. I could see those fun things starting to get boring. Cuz there is only so much to do. But if you're there for three days.

[Maul]

If wanted to kill us, it was was easy. We did the same four things, same places. Went to the cigar lounge, steakhouse, strip club, casino. That's all I got for you.

[Rory]

Detroit is great. Strip clubs.

[Maul]

Oh yeah. Oh yeah. Some some of the.

[Damaris]

Some was a cash dollar stripper.

[Maul]

Yeah. Yeah. I think she was.

[Damaris]

If they got cash dolls down at the Detroit strip clubs n Detroit has need to be there.

[Rory]

That's women. Yeah, Detroit. Another one on the left.

[Maul]

It just throws you off when the security walks you, walks you in and he's holding the AK47. I'm like yeah. Do we need that much securing of the premises? Okay.

[Damaris]

Okay.

[Maul]

I'll be out of here in 10 minutes. Don't worry. In and out.

[Rory]

Absolutely.

[Maul]

Shake some ass, smack some ass. Go.

[Rory]

Even the chicks with like the bullet wounds on their legs still look good in Detroit.

[Maul]

Yeah, we want to stay away from those though.

[Rory]

You don't want never like a stripper that had bullet.

[Maul]

Wow.

[Rory]

Oh man. Gotta live more.

[Maul]

No, I dated. I dated a girl that had a bullet wound on her butt.

[Damaris]

In her butt?

[Maul]

Yeah, like on her butt.

[Damaris]

How sorry for ourselves.

[Rory]

How long until you started to not realize it when you was hitting from the back? No, I knew because I would get distracted every.

[Maul]

But it wasn't like. It wasn't like she didn't get hit with a 8k like that.

[Rory]

It was 22 or something.

[Maul]

I don't know. But she definitely got shot in the butt though. Yeah.

[Damaris]

How do you. How does one get shot in the butt?

[Maul]

Everybody else get shot when it ain't for them. You had a cookout, a basketball tournament. The ops show up, start shooting out, everybody ducking. I get hit.

[Damaris]

Oh, that sucks.

[Maul]

Yeah. So what happens?

[Rory]

Did it like affect her her cheek for a while?

[Maul]

She said she. It was like. Like that her leg was numb. But you know through therapy and rehab over the years, like, it's cool. Just a small little indentation. It looked like a little dimple.

[Rory]

Yeah. I just wasn't sure if it was like, you know, sometimes certain injuries, when it rains, it's a little more sore. Like maybe you couldn't hit that day.

[Maul]

Now we're gonna hit. Who cares? What is doing outside? I'm hitting for sure.

[Damaris]

You know what? This has been another episode of New Rory and Mall. We gotta get out of here, y'all. We are. Our brains are on vacation mode.

[Maul]

No, your brain is on vacation.

[Damaris]

Yours is, too.

[Maul]

I'm not going on vacation. I'm here working. Working. Me and Peach, we record four episodes. You want a PR for Patreons? Me and Peace.

[Damaris]

You want a pr. You lying.

[Rory]

I wasn't there. This was like the car situation.

[Maul]

You're going to Detroit. You said you go to Detroit. Me and PJ going up. We can watch the tournament right here.

[Rory]

I thought you was going away.

[Maul]

I might.

[Damaris]

Exactly.

[Rory]

And Peach was looking up flights to random.

[Maul]

Pj.

[Rory]

That's how I know PJ Sick. He was looking up like he's going.

[Maul]

To go to Newark to the flight final to the sweet 16. He going to Newark, man. He going to see Duke. I know. Pg.

[Rory]

I didn't know it was in Newark this year.

[Maul]

Yeah.

[Rory]

Look at you.

[Damaris]

Not about to go to Detroit so you can go to the game.

[Maul]

I was thinking about going to see Duke, though. I want to see Cooper flag play. Even though I think he's gonna come back for another year.

[Rory]

He was born.

[Maul]

I didn't want to. I did want to see him play, to see him hoop.

[Rory]

Well, all right. Maybe I'll see y'all this week. Who knows? But I might.

[Maul]

Baby D. Have fun. Be safe. You know, Call us if anything. Text us if anything. You know, Know. But just stay safe out there. Have a great birthday.

[Damaris]

I'll zoom in.

[Maul]

God bless you on Monday.

[Damaris]

You know, do that.

[Maul]

Let us know what's going on. Tell Houston that I missed them.

[Damaris]

I will.

[Maul]

The whole Houston just walk by. Everybody say, ma misses you. And he says hello.

[Rory]

Whole gallery of mall.

[Maul]

Yeah, just hello.

[Damaris]

I'm hoping that nobody recognizes me when I'm out there.

[Maul]

Cut it out. You just told all our listeners you going. You posted on your story.

[Damaris]

We have Houston listeners, though.

[Maul]

Are you crazy? Are you on crack? Is it drugs? What are you on? Yes. Yes.

[Rory]

I think poppers. I think it's like our fourth market.

[Damaris]

Well, I didn't. We've only done one show there, so I don't. When I think of Our big markets, I think la, New York, Philly.

[Rory]

As far as listeners, I. Not international because London and South Africa are high.

[Damaris]

South Africa is high. Yeah.

[Rory]

But I really think is New York, L.A. toronto's international. Yeah. Houston might be four. It might be over Atlanta, actually, but, well, Las Vegas.

[Damaris]

I didn't think our Las Vegas, like, demographic was that big. And we went to Las Vegas and couldn't stop getting recognized. That's the. I got recognized more in Las Vegas than anywhere we've ever went.

[Maul]

Yeah.

[Rory]

That made me want to hit the agency. Like, yo, how come I think there's.

[Damaris]

Some bags out here like the. Well, if you do see me, say hi. Please don't just stare at me. Please say hi if you see me out and buy me a drink or actually buy me a bottle. Thank you.

[Maul]

So recognize you.

[Damaris]

Yeah. What I'm saying is if you do recognize me, say speak to me. Oh, that's all when they recognize me and then they go on the Internet and say, yo, I saw a demand. That's weird. I just. Just say hi, because then you know me and I don't know you. I feel like that's, you know, that's creepy. I don't know that you know who I am. So just say hi.

[Maul]

Got you.

[Rory]

Is it weird that I turn down drinks from listeners because it feels gay? Man. Buying me a drink.

[Maul]

Yeah, I want that.

[Rory]

And it's a nice gesture.

[Maul]

Yeah.

[Rory]

All the time.

[Damaris]

Oh, you shouldn't do that. That's nice. Make sure you're there when they're pouring it, though. So you don't get roofing.

[Maul]

See, if I got to do all of that, I'm just not taking a drink. It's easy to say I don't drink because I don't drink.

[Damaris]

Yeah. I say, buy me a bottle.

[Maul]

Yo, this has been a new yo. This has been another episode. Yo, Happy birthday, baby D. Have fun. Be safe. Call us if you need us. We'll talk to y'all soon. Be safe. Be blessed. I'm that nigga. He's just ginger. Peace.

[Damaris]

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[Rory]

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[Damaris]

Who's paying for the mattress topper?

[Rory]

You mean the beanbag chair?

[Damaris]

Aren't we getting a mini fridge?

[Rory]

Can we create a pool on PayPal? It lets us collect the money before we buy.

[Damaris]

Ooh yes, that's smart.

[Rory]

Glad we can agree on something easily. Pool split and Send Money with PayPal. Get started in the PayPal app. A PayPal account is required to send and receive money.

[Maul]

A balance account is required to create.

[Rory]

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[Maul]

Pandora helps you honor the bonds that.

[Rory]

Make life richer and more meaningful. Make the feeling last from first sight to forever. On Valentine's Day and every day. Be love. Shop Pandora Jewelry today in store or [e-mail].