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Rory
You're listening to an iHeart podcast.
Mall
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Rory
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Rory
Go to Vicetv.com to find your cable channel. And we are back. Happy top of the week, Ma. Being 35, I already am feeling pain in my shoulder. I woke up feeling different. It's been one week. I'm not even kidding, Mick. At 35, it's not a mental thing. I think I just slept wrong.
Damaris
You can't. You're not allowed to talk like that until you're at least 40.
Rory
I don't know if it was cuz Amara like kicked me in the shoulder or I just slept wrong, but I'm definitely feeling like.
Damaris
Yeah, but those little aches and pains, that's just like the, you know when the floor starts creaking, when you walking around the crib. That's. That's just part of the game, man.
Rory
Yeah, but I don't have 10 year builder insurance to get the creeks off the floor, man.
Damaris
It's all right, man. Just drink some water, man, and get some sleep. That's all you gotta do, man. As men. That's all we got. That's all we got.
Rory
How, how was your weekend though?
Damaris
Weekend was cool, man. Weekend was good. I tried to go see the Accountant two twice and missed both showtimes. I forgot one time, one day when I. When I booked the showtime, I forgot the. The game was on. I forgot it was like an early game the Knicks played. I was like, oh, man, I'm not missing this game. That's why you, even though I could.
Rory
Have missed that game, would always hate when I'd visit my dad. Let's go to the movies. I'm like, so we can miss half the fucking movie? I don't know.
Damaris
Yeah.
Rory
For years I didn't know what happened in the beginning of Bad Boys 2.
Damaris
Yeah. So I gotta try to catch that the Accountant too this week. But other than that, just chill. Watch the game. Watch the Knicks get, you know, the soul ripped out of their chest. Game three.
Rory
Yeah. Rough.
Damaris
Hoping the warriors can win without Steph. That's it, man. Just watching playoff basketball. It's playoff time, man.
Rory
Yeah. I feel like we haven't caught up. Cause we had Lex and Dre. Only had poor minds shout out to poor minds.
Damaris
Lex and Dre. Everybody seemed to love that episode.
Rory
Yeah, episode was really good. I definitely want to go through some of that, but I feel like we haven't caught up. We had other guests that were putting stuff out on this YouTube content, but we haven't all caught up, I feel like in like over a week. Right. And a half.
Damaris
Interesting dms coming off of that episode.
Rory
How so?
Damaris
Just. Just women DMing me about what? Just. Hey, great episode.
Rory
Ah. Okay. Okay.
Damaris
You guys should have. Y' all should do more content together. Y' all should go on tour together.
Rory
I think we should do more content with them. I love them. We have good chemistry because this and whatever. But live shows would be fun too. It's so crazy how different our DMs continue to be all the time because mine were just raging with people that I pressed the black queen. And a white man should never do that. On top of the Swifties. I had a very, like, a very violent request DMs over the past week.
Damaris
A lot of death threats.
Rory
But I mean, to everyone that said I took it too far. Press Lex. That's how we've always talked to each other for over 10 years. That's how we speak to each other.
Damaris
No, but me.
Rory
Ever.
Damaris
Me and PG felt like conversation was like, yo, Rory was pressing the shit.
Peach
Yes, you. I saw. I told you. I said, you need to let it go.
Rory
Lex and I have spoken to each other since the day we met.
Damaris
But this is what you fell and realize when we sit here.
Rory
Yeah, no, I get the perspective.
Damaris
This goes out. People don't know that that is your relationship with Lex and that that's how y' all speak to each other like that. They don't get that part.
Rory
Yeah, she's pressed me.
Damaris
A white man yelling at a black queen. That's what they get.
Rory
Was it yelling?
Damaris
You were yelling.
Rory
Okay.
Damaris
In their book.
Rory
Well, I mean, if it means anything, Lex and I spoke after, and we're like, hey, I'm glad we cleared that up.
Damaris
Way friends are supposed to do it. Let's go get a beer.
Rory
Yeah, I guess I didn't. I didn't re. Watch it back, but I don't know. Again, that's how I thought we always.
Damaris
Speak to each other. Yeah.
Rory
She didn't feel away, so maybe her and I are just sick in the head. And this is how as friends, we scream at each other and deal with our issues.
Damaris
It's all right.
Rory
But friends.
Damaris
Friends should scream at each other sometimes.
Rory
But, I mean, I. I did enjoy just having women in the room as we continually say, you know, you. You turn in to whatever your favorite comedian is. Fill in blank. Mal becomes that.
Damaris
See, we not doing that.
Peach
Richard Pryor. I tell y' all every time I.
Damaris
Was not Richard Pryor, though.
Peach
You turned into Richard. You wasn't Richard that time.
Rory
You was. But how could you was freebasing Richard Pryor?
Peach
He wasn't as bad as he usually is. You were talking a lot this episode, so Ma couldn't really get his shit off. But, Ma, when women come in the room, you just the funniest, most charismatic, loving person.
Damaris
I'm not that person all the time.
Peach
Hell, no.
Damaris
Well, I don't want to be loving and charismatic to Rory. I'm loving charismatic to you. I say hello.
Rory
You guys press each other worse than me and Lex did, so let's not even start.
Damaris
That's our relationship. That's me in the marriage.
Peach
Yo, Maula, coming here, it'll be silent. A bad walk in the room. Mall just, hey, how are you doing? Jokes. Next thing you know, she giggling.
Damaris
And that's not. See that now, the last time you.
Peach
Bought somebody in here, that ain't happened.
Rory
It definitely happened. A whole different person.
Peach
I literally looked around.
Rory
All of a sudden, I look in my car, I'm cleaning my car out. It's got one of Mal's lighters with the little wick things around. I'm like, he giving these chicks gifts now.
Damaris
She acts like, we not doing that. You gotta hold on, hold on, hold on.
Rory
To the office.
Damaris
Wait. I don't mind y' all lighters in my car. Nah, man, we not. We not doing that. I don't mind y' all painting Iris, but sometimes I gotta stand up and defend myself. She asked for a lighter, and that was the only lighter I had. You know, that's how I light my jeans. Quick.
Rory
No, but I heard.
Damaris
So I gave her the lighter. I was like, yo, you can have it. I got a thousand lighters at home.
Rory
See, usually I'm the one that either throws sauce on a story or lies about it to make me not look crazy. You were explaining to her the health benefits of that wic. Don't act like everybody asked. Like, no. You were sitting there giving her the whole.
Damaris
The Drea's Friend Killer. She asked when I gave her the J. She was like, oh, what's this? I said, yo, I light it with the wick so that I don't get no lighter fluid.
Rory
Did you give it to her, though?
Damaris
No, she left it right there on the wig.
Rory
You were breaking down the periodical table of how the wig worked against the wig.
Damaris
I gave her a J. I gave Killer a J. She. She smoked.
Peach
Shout out to Killer.
Damaris
Shout out to Killer.
Peach
Sweetie pie.
Rory
Yeah, she was great.
Damaris
So I gave her a J. But she left my lighter and everything over there, though.
Rory
But no, I mean, again, not in a disrespectful way. You just become a little bit more charming when there's women around.
Damaris
I mean, it's like, welcome them into a home. You have to be, you know, you have to be a good host. You have to host. You have to make sure everybody's accommodated.
Rory
But I was hosting her.
Damaris
Yeah, but it was like I was right here, though. Yeah, but I was like.
Rory
I was literally right.
Damaris
I was hosting with you.
Rory
I could have.
Peach
She wasn't entertained by you.
Damaris
It was two ladies and it was, you know.
Rory
No, we talking about. It was just her, right? We're talking about separate.
Peach
He's talking about shorty.
Rory
Poor minds.
Damaris
Oh, yeah, I was accommodating. She waved hello. I waved hello back.
Rory
Yeah, set.
Damaris
Now, if I was right next to.
Rory
Her with mad available seats on a love seat.
Damaris
We're not doing that. First of all, that's my seat, my setup right there. Josh, you can see it. My tray, my weed. Everything is right there on the table. So if I sit in that chair.
Rory
I know. I think she was in this one away from the one. And you sat not in your spot.
Damaris
That's not true. CEO, he's paying your bro. We're not doing it.
Peach
He puts.
Damaris
He put. Yeah, we're not doing that.
Rory
Damaris brought it to my attention, and I looked over and I was like, oh, yeah?
Peach
Yeah. I said, we need to get women in the office all the time. So Mark will come in here smiling and laughing and joking and more. Come in here, be like, we ready to go.
Rory
They're ready to work. That would be the way that I would pay for an escort. Just weekly. No, I gotta do nothing. Just sit right here. Nothing. Just have your presence existing.
Damaris
I fear we will pay you your rate. Because when I come in, it's like I always tell Rory I hate coming in and talking, because I feel like we start having conversations that we can have on mic. So when I come in, I just kind of sit in my corner and just like, we know what we gonna talk about, but I don't wanna have converse. Start having conversations. Cause I'm like, damn, we should be saying this on mic. Which is what we're doing now. If I would have came in and said, baby D was good. You like, oh, you were smiling last week, that would have turned into a whole. And then now we're not recording that. So now it happens real time.
Rory
Gotcha.
Peach
You producing me?
Rory
Yeah, gotcha.
Damaris
No, we're Just living, that's all.
Rory
These conversations.
Damaris
These cameras not even here, baby. D, what is this? This is not.
Rory
What is that?
Damaris
What is that? Get away from me. It means nothing. This is life. This is real life. This is what we would be doing if the cameras and the mics weren't here.
Rory
Josh, can you put on our to do list that we need to start interview process for stand in woman for Monday, Wednesdays and Thursdays.
Damaris
Sometimes I'm not bad at having a standing woman on the couch. She could sit, we could have wine, we have weed. You know, order food, whatever they want and just have them little arm cake.
Rory
That would be like. That'd be like our audience misogyny of like, you know, what do I have to do? Just look pretty. Just sit there.
Damaris
Yeah.
Rory
Make eye contact with Mal. You know, give him a little laugh when he says something. Encourage him.
Peach
I wish we still did skits because that would be a perfect one.
Damaris
Y' all be campaigning some crazy narratives about me, man.
Rory
That's not a crazy narrative. That becomes funnier.
Peach
You really do. Like, you know, you like a lot.
Rory
Of us do, but you're just funnier, that's all.
Damaris
See, this is what happens when we don't have many, you know, heterosexual men left.
Rory
Oh, are you saying in the room?
Damaris
No, in the room. Sorry. I'm trying to get four men in the room. You're in the room is crazy.
Rory
You have to be a little bit more specific because you're saying this is a result. The whole world's not in here.
Damaris
I'm saying you don't need to do that. No, no, I'm just saying, like, this is what happens. Like, I love y' all know me. I love women, love being around women, kicking it with women. So anytime we have women in the room, in the studio with us, it's always fun. It's like, oh, we got some women here. Like, you know, let's have a good time.
Rory
Okay.
Damaris
Like, the marriage is a woman, but the marriage is crew. Oh, no.
Peach
My novelty wore off a long time ago when I first started coming around mall would, like, be nice and smiling around me too. BY like, episode 40, that was gone.
Damaris
Yeah, but once you became sis, little sis and fam, it's like, I gotta.
Rory
Treat you like little sis.
Damaris
Like, you move, yo. Like, you know, that type of energy. Like, it's that type of shit. Like, if I'm at the. If I'm going to the fridge, move your ass. I'm going in the fridge.
Peach
Yo, when I first met Ma, I was putting on some YSL lotion. He said, yo, what's that? That smell good, Ma? Mind you, I come here smelling good every day. Ma a tell me I smell good in three years you little sis. I don't think he smell me no more.
Damaris
I'm not telling little sis she smells.
Rory
Someone'S like home scent. You don't even smell it no more.
Peach
You smell like he knows blind.
Damaris
Yeah, it's like I know scent together. I know Baby D don't stink, cuz I would have been said that. Yeah, I like baby, you got to wash that ass before you come in here. Like, I'm so.
Rory
I'm think of friendship, right?
Damaris
Yeah, absolutely. But Baby D smell good. She take care of herself. Yeah, absolutely.
Rory
Okay, but you would say that you were more charming with Lex Andrea than you were say little brother. Right? Well, I'm just trying to get some truth out of you.
Damaris
Love the guys, but like, you know, Lex Andrea or Pooh. Like, come on.
Rory
I'm just asking, that's all.
Damaris
Don't make me do that. I'm not picking, man. I love all our guests, man.
Peach
I can't do that though, because.
Rory
Malls is just.
Damaris
Yeah, like Rory. Different Rory. Like, women come and then you'll just hit an elevator and then seven bottles of wine to get off the elevator and it's like, y. I didn't even know we would.
Rory
All right, first of all, first of all, first of all, first of all.
Damaris
Yo, I ain't mad. Get the Ziffindel. Rory. I'm not mad. I love a good glass.
Rory
I want to make this clear.
Damaris
I love a good glass of Zinfandel. Get it?
Rory
We had asked what? Cuz Lex Andrea are very much established now.
Damaris
Yes.
Rory
They are professionals in their own right. They have TV show, a successful podcast.
Damaris
Love them.
Rory
Of course they have a rider.
Damaris
Success. Yes.
Rory
And they have a rider I respect.
Damaris
Right.
Rory
We have a similar rider.
Damaris
Yeah.
Rory
So when I got the rider, I was like, I was getting this anyway.
Damaris
Yeah. Oh, this is everything on my leg. It doesn't matter.
Rory
Ben, did you send me our rider? It was wine and tequila.
Damaris
Yeah, that's how Rory moved.
Peach
They were drinking that tequila too. I don't know. See, I think they like drink on their show. I can't pod drunk.
Damaris
Yes, you can.
Rory
You've Patreon drunk before.
Peach
We've Patreon drunk before. But I don't like it because I start talking, I gotta go over to Peej and be like, peach. Did you clip that out? Can you clip this out?
Rory
No, no. You know what's gonna make it a clip.
Damaris
That's why I love Baby D. Cause see, Baby D is still in that phase of podcasting where she's like, fuck, what did I say? Like, baby. Then when you hit the phase of I don't give a fuck what I said, ooh, life is beautiful up here. When you know you said something to N is in the mentions having a war. And you just at home listening to Sam Cooke, waiting for the croissants to get nice and toasted. I don't give a fuck what they think about wilding.
Rory
I leave here with a thousand notes and maybe I'll text Damaris or Pee's just to like, triple check. I wasn't wilding on something, but once it hits like 9:30, 10pm I've forgotten everything that we just said.
Damaris
Yeah, I always forget. That's why I tell people like, yo, when you said I'm like, I said that. Don't remember. Get to that level, baby. This beautiful.
Rory
Wait till you start seeing clips and you have no recollection of that day or that opinion even existed.
Damaris
Have no idea.
Rory
Like, we talked about that.
Damaris
Exactly.
Rory
I was that passionate about something I.
Damaris
Don'T remember and something I don't care about. That's what it's really. When you see clips of yourself online going crazy. The new blood. Yeah, I don't give a. About that. The. Am I yelling for life is beautiful?
Rory
Well, yes, I apologize to all the women that were offended by a personal conversation with Lex. I'm so sorry.
Damaris
Yes.
Peach
Can you apologize to me? Because the Swifties were in my mentions saying, hey, you fat, get your white raggedy ass boss. I'm like, okay, why I gotta be a fat. Cause he came at Taylor Swift. I wasn't even there. I wasn't even on a episode.
Rory
Okay, what was my response when that hit the group chat? What did I say about Taylor Swift?
Damaris
Yeah. You had no idea.
Rory
I had no idea. Yeah, it's like I said something.
Damaris
You gave a little slick shout out to Trey. We had a guest on don't know Ball.
Rory
Yeah.
Damaris
And you had asked him about Taylor Swift being around the Chiefs. Cause she obviously.
Rory
Pretty sure I complimented her and said when she acquired the franchise.
Damaris
Yeah. But then he was like, that's a compliment. He started saying, no, she's, you know, she's sweet. She's very down to earth. She remembered mine, my name, and my sister's name, like after meeting us when we seen her the next time and da, da, da. And then I think your response was something to the effect of, oh, yeah. You signed the NDA, like, basically saying, like, oh, you can't really say what you want to say about.
Rory
So that warrants threatening my address, murdering my parents.
Damaris
You have to die. Your entire bloodline has to die.
Rory
Because I said something that was probably true.
Damaris
Yes.
Rory
That anyone positive, negative, in between probably has to sign an NDA around.
Damaris
Taylor Swift. Yes, you must die. Now.
Rory
Taylor Swift signs an NDA about her own self, like, as soon as she leaves the house. Secret Service. But, Demaris, I went through that on my personal page and the new royal one. It was the same person on 15 different. It was one Swifty.
Damaris
Yeah.
Rory
It wasn't. I could tell because they were repeating everything with the same account. I was like, oh, this is the same.
Peach
They told me to get a job. They told me to get a job. I'm like, why I got to get a job? I wasn't even at work when he said that shit. Like, what. Why are you telling me to get a job for?
Damaris
And your job.
Peach
Right.
Damaris
That's the funnier part.
Rory
The funniest part is how many times we get called broke. Like, that's my favorite thing of. Like, that's supposed to be an insult to me when I'm not, hey, pop that.
Damaris
I mean, well, then I guess.
Rory
I guess so many people, whether it be from fake pages or real pages or from streamers to podcasters, I just think that's the funniest insult because it's, like, the furthest leak.
Damaris
Yeah.
Rory
But I think that hit me where.
Damaris
It hurts in the scope of Taylor Swift. I'm very broke.
Rory
The person. The person that DM that, unless I don't know they were Taylor Swift, Steve Jobs, daughter. Yeah, you're broke, too.
Damaris
Gotta have fun with it.
Rory
And I don't know anyone with a lot of money that would make that many fake pages in Defendant Celebrity.
Damaris
Yeah, that was when I saw y' all, since I was like, nah, that's just somebody going crazy. One person.
Rory
Well, I want no beef with the Swifties. I didn't love the Swifties.
Damaris
Love Taylor Swift. Big Swifty.
Rory
Yeah, that's. That's all I have on that. Please don't murder my daughter and my family.
Damaris
No, please don't. Happy Mother's Day to all of the mothers. Mother's Day was yesterday. We are recording this on a Monday. So happy Mother's Day to all the great moms out there, sending lots of love and support and prayers to a lot of moms that, you know, going through rough times, things like that. So shout out to the moms did.
Peach
You go see your mom?
Damaris
My mom? Let me tell you about my mom. Yeah, I thought I was going to see my mom this weekend. My mom had other plans. Oh, my mom is in Mexico.
Rory
I love it.
Peach
Clock that.
Damaris
Yeah. So I called her. I was like, yeah, you know, I'm thinking, I'm good, Sonny. I'm gonna go down, see moms, you know, do the brunch thing. She said, yeah, I'll be in New York Wednesday. I said, oh, perfect. You're coming home. Perfect. I don't gotta go far. I don't gotta travel. Yeah. Nah, just for the day to get my nails and my hair done and. Okay. Thinking she gonna get cute from other. No, no, I'm going to Mexico.
Peach
Yeah, on you.
Damaris
Love you too, Mom.
Peach
She didn't even invite you.
Rory
Brunchton, Cabo, Mom.
Damaris
Hope you're having fun in Mexico. I haven't spoken to her.
Rory
Service be spotty. Yeah.
Damaris
Yeah. So I haven't spoken to her today. I spoke to her yesterday, but she said she's chilling by the pool. My aunts and everybody having a good time. They just went down and, you know.
Rory
Did your sister go?
Damaris
No, my sister, she didn't go.
Rory
Okay.
Damaris
She had to work.
Rory
I'd feel a way if your sister went.
Damaris
I feel like.
Rory
Think you should feel away. But if it was just like, mom and aunt.
Damaris
My sister and my mom go away on vacation and didn't call me for money. Life is beautiful. I won. Have a ball.
Rory
Yeah, I guess that's true.
Damaris
Have a. But what y' all wear? It didn't have a blast. Love you. Call me if you need anything. Hopefully you don't need anything.
Peach
And now you could use that. So you could be like, ah, you had Mexico money. Next time I asked you for money.
Damaris
I can't wait to get that off. I love getting that off now. My mom. Yeah, no, we got. We got McDonald's money in the house. We got food in the house. We ain't going out to eat the shit my mom used to hit me with when Big Macs was only 2. 229.
Rory
Yeah, we got Mexican food.
Damaris
You got McDonald's money? No, we got food in the house. I can't wait to get that off my mom.
Peach
No, I really don't have fast food in my building. Fast food money is expensive as fuck.
Damaris
We got a pool right here.
Peach
Fast food is so expensive now. Like, why?
Damaris
Oh, now you might as well just get food. But when I pull up. When I pull up the value meal menu from 1998, oh, yeah, 96. You know, I was going to school, and I'm asking my mom for money from McDonald's, and she giving me the whole rundown of what Harriet Tubman had to go through. I'm just like, I just wanted a Big Mac and some fries.
Peach
Yeah, those shits was like 96 cent back.
Rory
How did she tie that all in the mar.
Damaris
Hold on. Because Damaris is throwing shots.
Peach
No, you could. I'm not being funny.
Damaris
Part of our relationship. Big brother, little sister.
Rory
Yeah, of course.
Damaris
Damaris. A Big Mac was not 96. I was not alive when the Big Mac was 96.
Peach
They didn't have a. I'm thinking because when I was a certain age, if we had a dollar menu, so you a little bit older than me, so I thought it would be like 96.
Damaris
Big Mac was never on the dollar menu, was it?
Peach
Oh, it wasn't. Oh, I don't know. I didn't buy it.
Rory
You get to make chicken.
Damaris
You could get that chicken.
Peach
Cutlets are good.
Damaris
That chicken. I was never a chicken. A McChicken guy. McDonald's, you'd rather get the crispy chicken. The crispy chicken was where it's at. The crispy chicken sandwich. That little dollar McChicken. Throw that out the window.
Rory
I was so brainwashed. I would eat the McChicken. Let me get something real in my stomach and eat a McChicken. Let me get some real food.
Damaris
That's when I used to be a real meal. Like, yo, did you eat today? Nah, not yet. Like, I got time for me to eat. What you getting? McDonald's. That's your meal.
Rory
And then two McChickens. If you wanted to go crazy. That was when I was going through puberty. I needed two.
Peach
When I was in high school, they used to do something called the McGang Bang, which.
Damaris
No, that was something else. Yeah, that was something else. That wasn't. No, that wasn't a part of ronald.
Rory
It's the McChicken that was with the purple guy. Ronald cheeseburger.
Damaris
Wait, what the.
Peach
You do. You put the McChicken on top of the double cheeseburger? It was. It called a mc. Oh, in between the double cheeseburger.
Damaris
Wait, you had to order it and do that yourself?
Rory
What number was that?
Peach
You had to. Yeah, that wasn't.
Damaris
That wasn't part of this.
Rory
Did you just. No, no asking Confirm if that was not on the. The McGang Bang was not on the.
Damaris
Menu, but that's what I'm saying.
Rory
Who was number 69 gave it that name?
Damaris
Was that Just like locally up in.
Peach
Well, no, because Peach went to school down in Kansas and he said he heard of it too.
Damaris
Peas. They do not have the McGang Bang in Kansas. I'm not rolling with that. I'm not. They never called it the McGann.
Rory
I love that you called it local. Like, it was like tomatoes in New Jersey. Like, oh, it's McDonald's. Have to go upstate.
Damaris
Who called it McGang Bang? Who gave it?
Rory
I never heard that.
Peach
I don't know. It's. I guess it was like a thing.
Damaris
Of, like, that didn't touch the five boroughs.
Peach
Well, you were. You're young, you're younger. So this was when we were younger.
Damaris
I'm older.
Peach
School or you're older? We were in middle school, high school.
Damaris
What year was that?
Peach
2010, 2009.
Damaris
Yeah, I was. I was. I ain't never heard of no McGang Bang.
Peach
You wasn't eating McDonald's at that time?
Damaris
2010? Hell yeah, I was. Oh, I was McDonald's up in 2010.
Rory
Mighty Wings at that point. Oh, McGang Bang Burger is one of McDonald's most famous secret menu items.
Peach
Oh, a secret menu.
Rory
The best way to do it is to Simply order a McDouble, a McChicken and put it together yourself. Think back to those old commercials. Some assembly may be required. Prices and participation may vary. That whole time they were talking about the McGang Bang.
Damaris
Yo. That is crazy.
Rory
That was secret code talk for gang Bang.
Peach
Yeah, people liked it too.
Damaris
And Air Burger. So that's the filet o fish, the chicken sandwich and beef. Like to make Big Mac, yo, that's just heart disease and stroke waiting to happen.
Rory
Remember when I was working at the advertising company?
Damaris
Yeah.
Rory
So we had McDonald's as a client, and for like six months they put me on the McLobster account. So ironic, the amount of, like, Getty images I had to download of, like, high, high res shots of like, the McLobster. And like, we would have to, like, really rent out spaces to shoot the McLobster.
Damaris
There was a McLobster?
Rory
Yeah.
Peach
I've never heard of the McLough lobster and then McDonald's.
Rory
At one point, we sent a McLobster van to Maine and it just drove down from Maine to Virginia and did, like, McLobster pop ups.
Peach
Oh, my real.
Damaris
What was the McLobster? I've never.
Rory
I don't think it ever hit New York City.
Peach
Lobster meat, mayo based sauce, lettuce, and it's served on a toasted bun. It's summer, only McDonald's had lobster.
Rory
Rol. Some of these, some of these photos.
Peach
And new typically available in New England states.
Damaris
Wait, wait, wait a fucking minute. McDonald's had lobster rolls.
Peach
Yeah, but only in New England, not over here.
Rory
Yeah, I take these.
Damaris
Fuck.
Rory
I take like these fan generated photos of people. Like we would run social campaigns.
Damaris
Do you know what I would do for a lobster roll when I used to eat lobster?
Rory
You wouldn't want the McLobster roll.
Peach
You want no fucking McLobster, yo.
Damaris
Now don't do that because the filet is good.
Peach
That ain't real fish though.
Damaris
It's. It's, it's.
Peach
That is carp. That is not real fish, baby.
Damaris
D said that is carp. Nah, baby, don't do that. Filet of fish is good. Don't. We not doing that when the, when the buns are warm.
Rory
Yeah, come on.
Damaris
We not doing that. I'm not pausing. Warm buns. I love warm buns.
Rory
You don't always like to open those freeze packages of vacuum sealed McLobsters at my office, yo.
Damaris
So you ate a McLobster?
Rory
No, I would take them out of the vacuum seal and they would give us instructions on how to like heat it up so we could take photos of it. It smells so bad, yo.
Damaris
That is crazy. I never knew McDonald's had a MC lobster.
Rory
It lasted. This was like summer 2015. It had to be now.
Damaris
Somebody in the comments, somebody got to tell tell me how to make love. Yo, Peach, you ever had a McLobster? Somebody got to tell me how to make lobster was. Man, we need a McLobster review. I never even knew this was a thing.
Peach
I'm cool, actually.
Rory
I remember how much it cost.
Damaris
Nah, man, y' all tripping to make lobster. They might have did numbers.
Rory
A single lobster roll cost $30 in 2022. The McLapster roll, however, was 399.
Peach
I'm cool.
Rory
It hit 9 during inflation. $9 from McLobster is hilarious, yo. And first of all, if you're in Maine, New England, etc, why the would you get a McLobster when you could get lobster?
Damaris
The same. You get the same reason you get a burger from McDonald's. And we live in Manhattan. Some of the greatest burgers in the world man.
Rory
Fair. But like, if you're out there. Nah, that's different. Because a burger is universal everywhere. Like, I may want a quick burger. Yeah, burgers all the time. Lobster no matter where you are, is kind of like a. A special thing, right? So if you're in New England. Wouldn't you want to, like. All right, I'll save my money. So twice a month I can eat real lobster, not run around for a nine dollar McLobster.
Damaris
I gotta try to make lobster. I'm sorry, were you a McRib guy? I'm sad to say, my. In my younger days, man, I may have had a McRib or two.
Rory
That was your rib.
Damaris
That was so nasty. That was so.
Rory
I can smell it right now.
Damaris
That tastes like a sneaker tongue. Yeah, that was just a sneaker tongue with sauce all over it. That was terrible.
Peach
The McLobster got discontinued in 2017.
Rory
Damn. I didn't do my job.
Damaris
Damn, Rory, you didn't market it enough. Flooded the streets. Now, you were supposed to hit the hood with that. You supposed to take that to the hood like crap.
Peach
We started in Maine due to rising lobster prices. So it wasn't you, Rory. You did your job as a.
Rory
There was not lobster in that. Yeah, the lobster price did not affect the McLobster.
Damaris
I ain't gonna lie, man. I would have definitely tried to make lobster. They lucky they didn't bring that to Harlem. Would have been having. Would have been smoking Duchess, eating lobster rolls every night.
Rory
So I should have been outside red lobster on 2 5th just trying to. Oh, that's hand to hand. You don't need to go in there.
Damaris
You got to go hand in hand with the McLobster. You see, they put a Red Lobster right on 25th Street. That is never going out of business.
Peach
I can't judge people because I was one of those people when I was younger. I used to eat the shrimp from Popeyes.
Damaris
Yeah, that's not. You ain't say nothing crazy, but I feel like.
Peach
I don't feel like you should eat anything from a restaurant that don't specialize in that. Like, might wings at McDonald's. Right. It's a red flag. A little bit like ribs at McDonald's. It's a red flag. But, like, why are you eating shrimp at Popeyes? Where that shrimp came from?
Rory
Cajun.
Damaris
Yeah, like the Louisiana. It was like the popcorn shrimp.
Rory
Yeah, but it's Louisiana themed. That's like a big thing.
Peach
Yeah, but like, where does it come from?
Damaris
You know, once you put Cajun in front of it. Yeah, you can go either way. Po boy. You want a Po boy?
Rory
And then do a super racist commercial.
Damaris
20 years peach with a Po boy. I know he do peach the extra.
Rory
Hell yeah.
Damaris
Them Po boys. Josh. Ever had a Po boy? Josh? You Never get out. I can't talk in the room with a. That. Never had a Po Boy, man. Like, what you mean?
Peach
I don't have a Po Boy either.
Damaris
You never had a Po boy?
Peach
No. I live up north, and I've never gone down south and was like, you know what? I should grab a Po Boy. Never.
Damaris
Oh, my God.
Rory
You get a Pokemon Coney island right now?
Damaris
Yeah. You. We gotta get you a Po Boy. You gotta get a Po Boy.
Peach
What about City Island, Right? Isn't it that thing that they do up in the Bronx or whatever?
Damaris
Yeah, you get a Po Boy.
Rory
They got those.
Damaris
But I don't know. I don't know if I want that to be your first PO Boy, though.
Peach
Yeah. I feel like I gotta go to Louisiana.
Damaris
Oh, yeah. Now you go to Louisiana because City.
Rory
Island's PO Boy with a side of violence.
Damaris
Yeah.
Rory
You may not even get a chance to eat it.
Damaris
Yeah. City island is a P.O. boy with a side of a folding chair beside your head, man. You know what I'm saying? It's all good.
Rory
City island is such deception because you get off the bridge and it's like the most beautiful area. Be like, I cannot believe it's the Bronx. Look at the harbor, the water. Then you get to the end of that street gang violence.
Damaris
See the three knees? Yeah. You go out there, you know, you go to Seafood City on the wrong night, the Three Indies is in the parking lot having a meeting. Yeah. You might want to get up out of there. I'm just letting you know.
Rory
Yeah. When the street lights come on, I'm like, I'm getting right back on.
Damaris
Yeah. You don't want to see the thingies that see. Who said, trust me, trust me. When them is there, just go to another spot, man.
Rory
It's how, like, the people that live there full time have not complained is beyond me.
Damaris
Oh, no, they complain.
Rory
And like the locals.
Damaris
Yeah. You know how hard it is to get, like, a place in City Island?
Rory
I mean, it's generation to generation.
Damaris
Yeah. You can't get. You're not gonna just move to City Island. That don't happen. You know, somebody's like, I'm moving to City Island. Somebody they know owns something and gave it to them, like, yo, you could take my house for sure. You're not just moving to City Island. That's not happening.
Rory
Yeah. You gotta deal with that. And then, like, possibly a dead body just coming up onto your beach.
Damaris
That's part of it.
Rory
That's the allure. Oh, it's murder season. Goes great.
Damaris
Shrimp it's high time.
Rory
Low tide, it smells like. And then. High time it smells like.
Damaris
Yeah, it smells like bodies rotting in the water. Yeah.
Rory
Where. How do we even get on this entire.
Peach
I have no.
Rory
How much a value meal costs now.
Peach
Yeah, yeah.
Rory
You might as well just get a poboy in Louisiana for what that costs now. Do you think the dollar menu is what they, like, eased us in to deceive us? Because before the dollar menu, I kind of feel like it was like $3 for a combo meal. Then they started moving those items and separating them for a dollar. Then you get like five things on the dollar menu. Should be seven something. And that pushed the combo shit up to like $12. Whoever came up with that should be like a general in Israel right now because how did you do that to us? You really made fast food cost the same as Applebee's.
Damaris
McDonald's in Dubai is crazy, though.
Peach
Really.
Damaris
Oh, my God, they have so many different chicken sandwiches.
Rory
They got pissed in the soda fountain.
Damaris
No see.
Peach
No see.
Damaris
No worries.
Peach
I can't be normal.
Damaris
It just has so many different.
Rory
I'm the one that's not normal, right? What goes on in Dubai? I'm the one that's on the.
Damaris
Yeah, but that's not everywhere. That goes on right here in Manhattan, too, right now. Right on the corner, actually. Yeah. But it's a little rubbing tug spot. You keep parking in front of option.
Rory
Yeah, but at least. At least there, like, you have to be behind a curtain, I think.
Damaris
Yeah.
Rory
And like, they'll turn some music on so no one can hear it in Dubai. I think it's just like, from. Just out in the open.
Damaris
Yeah.
Rory
It comes with your section.
Damaris
You've been to Dubai before? Dubai, it's cool. It's just a little. It's turned up too. Turned up for me, really.
Peach
I. One of my favorite youtubers shout out to Aaliyah Face. She lives there and, like, she'll vlog like her living experience. And it seems. She said it's a really nice place to, like, live. Like, she goes jogging at night. She's like, I could never do this in New York City. I would never feel comfortable doing this. She said. But in Dubai, it's like one of the safest places.
Damaris
Oh, it's definitely one of the women, for sure. Yeah.
Rory
I feel like a lot of content creators moved out there.
Peach
Yeah.
Rory
Is that true? Because I've definitely seen that, like, in my algorithm of all these people just buying houses in Dubai.
Damaris
Probably.
Peach
Probably some. Something tax related. It's always tax related.
Damaris
Always.
Rory
But I never understand because I've never like done the research. But is it super strict or is it not? Like to some people it sounds like it's the wild, wild west. Like literally you can do anything on anyone. Get a Lamborghini for $10 just for the night. Then I hear other people like, yo, if you even smoke weed, you're going to jail for life.
Damaris
If you get. I mean, I don't know, don't let me get the line. I don't know how strict I'm. I'm sure there are very strict rules and laws over there. But just like anywhere else, man, you find a little pocket, a little coach over there where that is readily available weed smoking and like that like it's like anywhere else.
Peach
So I just looked it up. Dude.
Damaris
Don't get caught transporting that there though.
Rory
Yeah.
Peach
Dubai has been actively attracting digital content creators with its Creators HQ initiative and Golden Visa program. So the Golden Visa that if you're an eligible creator, they'll give you a 10 year renewable residency permit and they'll give you like they have an incubation center offering resources and support for content creators. They're helping with relocation and business setup. So they're offering, they want to become a content creation hub up. So they're offering a lot of incentives. That's probably why you're seeing so many creators move there.
Rory
Okay, that's cool.
Mall
So we all made mistakes, right? But owning up to them is the right thing to do. But we all know degree Cool Rush deodorant. Well, last year they changed the formula and it did not go over well with the fans, the grease, whole thing. It turns up sweat, other protection when you turn up the effort. And good thing it does because Cool Rush fans really turned up the effort to bring back the OG formula. One guy even started an online petition and degree Listen, they admitted they effed up and are bringing back that OG Cool Rush scent back. And it's exactly how you remember it. Cool, crisp and fresh. It's back at Walmart, Target and other stores for under $4. There's a reason why it's been the number one men's antiperspirant for the last decade. It's the same reason why people are not happy when the recipe was changed. So listen, if you've never tried, it might be a good time to try. See what the fuss is about. Head to your local Walmart or Target and try the OG degree Cool Rush for yourself.
Rory
Ryan Reynolds here from Mint Mobile. I don't know if you knew this, but anyone can get the same Premium Wireless for $15 a month plan that I've been enjoying. It's not just for celebrities. So do like I did and have one of your assistant's assistants switch you to Mint Mobile today. I'm told it's super easy to do@mintmobile.com Switch upfront payment of $45 for three month plan equivalent to $15 per month. Required intro rate, first three and full price plan options available, taxes and fees extra. See full terms@mintmobile.com have you ever looked.
E
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Damaris
Hi, this is Jevon, your blinds.com design consultant.
Rory
Oh, wow, a real person.
Damaris
Yep. I'm here to help with everything from selecting the perfect window treatments to.
E
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Damaris
No problem. We make the complex simple. I can even help schedule a professional measuring install.
E
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Damaris
We can also send you samples fast and free.
Rory
Wow. I mean, I always thought I needed a designer to come to my home.
E
But scheduling is always a nightmare.
Damaris
Notwithblinds.com, we're on your schedule. And there's no haggling pressure or hidden fees either.
Peach
Hmm.
E
I just might have to do more.
Damaris
Whatever you need. How about you tell me what you had in mind?
Peach
Okay then.
E
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Rory
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Rory
Rules and restrictions may apply. Mall. You were saying? What was so crazy about the McDonald's in Dubai?
Damaris
The chicken sandwiches. Okay, it's like seven different types of chicken sandwiches.
Rory
Got you. Because then the KFC in, like, Trinidad is supposed to be way better. I heard.
Damaris
I'm pretty sure. I can see that being better.
Rory
Yeah.
Damaris
Anything better than America?
Rory
I mean, they're diluting the tequila now, and. Which is crazy because the bars and clubs do that already. So now this is more stepped on than anything.
Damaris
Yeah, man, you know, it's. Listen, drugs, alcohol, this is all oregano and baking soda. It's all the same, man. It's all the same. Once the government got a hand on it, they're gonna try to cut it. Yeah.
Rory
But even it was what? Casamigos and Don Julio. Just the two that we all drink all the time. Diageo, too. Look at Puff getting his lick back. Think that was part of Puff's plea deal that we don't know about yet? He had to say. He snitched. Said, I'll tell you how they cutting it.
Damaris
I'll tell you where they cutting it.
Rory
At, Frank Luke is going straight to the source.
Damaris
Damn. Diageo.
Rory
Okay, what does it say? A corn syrup that they put in there? That. I mean, but again, I don't. Everything's cut. Like, this doesn't shock me.
Damaris
Yeah. At this point, like, I don't. What is 100% pure?
Rory
To me, it's worse than, like, when they put the bottom shelf tequila in the Casamigo bottle, and then I'm like, no, this is not Casamigos. You're not about to tell me that. But maybe it was the whole time, and I was just having the corn syrup batch.
Peach
Just to clarify, Casamigos and Dao Julio are owned by Diageo.
Rory
Yeah.
Damaris
Yeah.
Peach
Okay. I wanted the listeners.
Rory
Yeah. No, Yeah. I mean, I don't know. Was this devastating to you, Damaris?
Peach
Yeah, but, like, at the same time, no. Because I'm not surprised. Like, to be honest, that's not good tequila. Anyway. It's good to us because it's. It's easier for us to drink because it has sugar in it. It's very sugary tequila. It's not good quality tequila. You've been to me.
Damaris
Yeah, that's what they tell you.
Rory
Yeah.
Peach
Let's not.
Rory
In Mexico City last year, for my birthday, we went to one of those mezcal tequila tastings. Like, the real with the history and the expert and the mountains with the smoky. Listen, that tastes like premium gas. My chest hurts so much drinking the pure. Like, I'm. I'll take this version. Like that mask. I was breathing weird for two days. I'VE never had my chest hurt. It's so smoky. Like, I thought I was having an asthma attack when I took a sip and it was like, seven lined up. You know, they have, like, the beer.
Peach
Tastings because you probably would do a Mezcal. That's why Mezcal tastes like smoke. Like, it tastes like you smoke. Like you.
Damaris
Yeah, they actually smoke the drink. Yeah, they actually, you know, light the. What is it? Palo.
Peach
No, not always. Not from Mezcal. Mezcal is smoky because of the way that it's aged.
Rory
And they legitimately, like, out there, will dig a hole, and it's, like, smoked out for sure. And we were having that pure, like.
Damaris
That'S like moonshine, dog.
Rory
It was. It tasted like a shot of Everclear while I was smoking Reggie at the same time.
Damaris
First time I took a shot of moonshine down south with my uncles, I couldn't feel my feet. I said, well, you are sitting around drinking this every day. They gave me not even a. A tiny half of a shot just to taste it. I was like, nah, that had you swe.
Rory
Yeah.
Damaris
Worried, anxious, like, no, I can't do that.
Rory
My dad every year goes to a pig roast in South Carolina with some of his, like, criminal friends, and he. He brings back moonshine every year. And every year I'm like. I'm a. Like, at this time.
Damaris
That she tastes like gasoline.
Rory
When I was at the first time, when I snuck some from. I think that was the first time I saw, like, facial hair for the first time was right after that. Shit. Yeah.
Peach
Have you guys ever had absinthe?
Rory
Who?
Peach
Absinthe.
Damaris
What is that?
Rory
I love. Absolutely.
Peach
So it's an anise flavored spirit derived from several plants. But, like, sometimes it'll have, like, the worm in it.
Rory
Oh, yeah, I've seen that before.
Peach
And it's supposed to make you horny. No. Hallucinate.
Damaris
Oh, yeah. No, I'm cool.
Rory
Oh, yeah, I saw that Euro Trip.
Peach
Oh, a movie.
Damaris
Yeah.
Peach
Oh, okay.
Rory
It's. Yeah, it's for white people.
Peach
Okay.
Rory
It's a shorty that just passed.
Damaris
Yeah. Like, why do people want to hallucinate, though? Like, why. Why would you drink something knowing that you about to start seeing all kind of get.
Rory
Get in touch with the earth. That's why people take shrooms.
Damaris
Just take acid. Just take your sneakers off and go walk in the park. Get in touch with the. With the earth.
Rory
It's more of a spiritual level.
Damaris
Yes, it is.
Rory
Brain waves is different. See the other side.
Damaris
No, I don't want to hallucinate Don't. Don't give me nothing.
Rory
You could be hallucinating right now. You just don't know it. That could actually be how the earth really is.
Peach
Yeah. You didn't see Inception.
Rory
Yeah.
Peach
This could be not reality. Like, where's your token? You don't even know.
Rory
Yeah. You don't know. When your brain produces dmt, you start dreaming. That could be the real world. This could be lack of dmt. And now we're hallucinating without. We're actually having withdrawals, and this is what we see. So you don't listen to enough Joe Rogan, bro. That's a problem.
Damaris
So. So I'm. I'm having the same dream over and over for the last 12 years.
Rory
Yeah.
Damaris
Of podcasting.
Peach
Yeah.
Rory
Yeah.
Damaris
Well, who the. Can somebody wake me? The up.
Peach
Take the drugs.
Rory
Yeah. Third eye.
Damaris
No, I don't want no hallucinating. I can't do hallucinating.
Rory
When you drank the shroom tea with Belly, that was definitely not enough to hallucinate. But you feel a little different.
Damaris
I definitely felt it, but that. That was just. It was like, if you smoke some really good weed, like, you get that body. It gave you, like, a body high. But I didn't. I wasn't hallucinating, though.
Rory
I feel like. I mean, I haven't done acid, but I feel like that'd be too much for you. But a proper shroom trip, I think would. Would elevate you. I think you look at the world differently.
Damaris
Oh, yeah, I know. I'm gonna do the ayahuasca. Listen, my cousin. Shout out to my cousin D. Matt. He's. He's done. He's done. He's done the ceremony at least three times now.
Rory
My therapist sent me a resort in Costa Rica for it. That. That her and her husband did. That I was looking at. Yeah, but that's like, I had a plan for, like, 2026, July. Don't talk to me for that entire month.
Damaris
You know why I'm scared to do it. I think our show completely changes if I take it.
Rory
I think my life changes.
Damaris
Yeah.
Rory
But, like, I don't know if I should come different.
Damaris
That's what I'm saying. We become different people.
Rory
I don't know. If I look at this. Be like, yo, this is evil. Like, this is not a healthy brain. Should not be doing this.
Damaris
Yeah. I don't know, man. I don't know, man. We got to talk to the volume. That us off the ayahuasca. We might need to.
Rory
Let's do it after Negotiations that ass. Yo, just so we.
Damaris
You're gonna be completely different person. Like, I'm gonna sit here and be a different person. I know that. I've seen people that take it, and I'm like, they're not weird. Like, my cousin still. He's still who he is, but his entire energy and vibe and everything has just completely, completely changed. Like, he doesn't. I don't know if he even curses, yells. Like, he's just a completely different person now.
Peach
That's fire. But, yeah, he couldn't be a podcaster.
Damaris
Doing that, or you do that as a podcaster and let your audience watch you go through these different stage.
Peach
Let me let you. Let me let you know something, baby. Our audience will give a fuck about our mental health, what they care about.
Rory
Or anything healthy in general.
Peach
They want us to make them laugh, make sexually crude jokes, talk shit about celebrities, and talk about our lives. That's what they want.
Damaris
Nah, I think it's a little more than that. I think they take that with it, but I think it's more than that.
Rory
I mean, I want to do it regardless. Like, if it ruins this career, then that's what. That's what the Ayahuasca wanted elevated.
Peach
Elevate to the next one. Elevate to the next one.
Rory
Who am I to stop with the Ayahuasca wants?
Damaris
What would really be interesting is if one of us takes it.
Peach
Just one.
Damaris
Just one of us takes it.
Rory
It's just you talking and then just me just like.
Damaris
Yeah, like, let me just. Let me just sit here, analyze you, like, and just break down, like, help you see what you're going through. Yeah, I think that would be dope.
Peach
We should do an episode one day where one of us is on shrooms and the audience doesn't know and they try to guess. Or like, one of us is drunk and the audience doesn't know and they try to guess.
Rory
That. That one time I took that weed gummy.
Peach
Yeah.
Rory
And no one knew. They said they liked that episode.
Damaris
When was that?
Peach
Well, he remember he took that gummy that they gave us when we were doing an ad.
Damaris
Oh, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes.
Rory
That one was rough.
Damaris
Those gummies were good, actually, though.
Peach
They were good.
Damaris
It gave me a nice vibe. I should take those whenever we had to get on a flight.
Rory
The only thing that actually has me scared with the Ayahuasca thing is, like, you just get a bucket.
Damaris
Yeah. Like, stir up all your emotions.
Rory
Just throwing up and trauma and wherever the. Yeah, you go.
Damaris
Like a rabbit.
Rory
She's like. Yeah, you get like a little rabbit, like a little barn and like a little bunny rabbit. Yeah, you just gotta, like, right there and throw up. I'm like, where you sleep? Like, wherever you lay, whoever.
Damaris
Wherever you want to live. Yeah, I don't want no shit like that.
Rory
But she also said that, like, any vice she had, like, drinking. She said she smoked weed a lot. The moment the ceremony was over, like. Cause it's a whole week. It's a couple days.
Damaris
Yeah.
Rory
So I never even had a single urge to even look at weed or I'll. Well, really not even a tiny bit. Yeah.
Damaris
Okay. So who goes there? Oh, sorry.
Peach
Are you.
Rory
It's the light.
Peach
Yo, y' all are tripping this episode.
Damaris
Y' all should get up the elevator.
Rory
Just the light.
Peach
I think it's Benner probably.
Damaris
Oh. Oh, Scotch. Okay.
Peach
Oh, okay. We have guests in the.
Rory
In.
Peach
In the office, guys.
Damaris
Yeah.
Rory
Can't even have scotch around me. Is your name Scotch?
Damaris
You're like Denzel in flight.
Rory
I'm drunk right now. I'm drunk right now.
Damaris
Oh, man. The 2025 BET Award nominations are in.
Peach
You do not care.
Damaris
I do care. That's one of the few award show I think that we still support is the BET Awards, but the nominations are in. Album of the year. Wait, how am I read? Oh, okay. This is nomination. I'm going to get some sexy songs for you. Drake and party next door. 1111 Deluxe. Chris Brown, Alligator bites never heal, Dochi Cowboy Carter, Beyonce Glorious Glorilla, gnx, Kendrick Lamar. Hurry up tomorrow the weekend and we don't trust you. Future and Metro. Boom. That's a lot.
Rory
That's a tough category.
Damaris
That's a lot of, like, music, and.
Peach
They should have cut that down.
Damaris
Yeah, that's like all everybody in one category. Who do you have? Beyonce. Think they give it to Beyonce. If she agrees to show up, I.
Peach
Will give it to Beyonce, but she's not gonna show up, so they're not gonna give it to her. But I will give it to Chris Brown.
Damaris
That 11:11 album is dope.
Rory
It is. But he's on tour. Kendrick's on tour? Yes. I don't know.
Peach
I can see Kendrick going to the BET Awards with the year that he's had.
Rory
Stadium. When is this actually filmed?
Damaris
The BET Awards I feel like is in.
Peach
It should be in July.
Rory
June is when they. They shoot and then come out after.
Damaris
But.
Rory
But I mean, yeah, if it works with his schedule, but either way, I do think Kendrick and GNX is going to clean up in every category. But Yeah, I think that's actually great. Maybe music doesn't suck because that's a great category. If we're debating any. Anyone could actually win this besides the weekend, and I think it'd be fine.
Peach
I'm sorry, you a have to say. You could have just said anybody could win this.
Damaris
You wasn't feeling that. Hurry Up Tomorrow.
Peach
Besides, it's cool.
Rory
But compared to we don't trust you gn Cowboy Carter, Alligator Bites, 1111 Deluxe, and some sexy songs for you. No, it doesn't compare.
Peach
Okay, so we don't trust you. Hurry Up Tomorrow. We don't trust you and Hurry Up Tomorrow are not going to win.
Rory
I don't think Glorilla would win either. Just. Just because of what is up there. Not because that album isn't good.
Peach
She. Out of all of those albums, she had one of my favorites.
Rory
I. I think.
Damaris
Didn't all of these. Didn't all of these albums pretty much come out last year?
Rory
Yeah, yeah. If it's whatever in the cycle, whatever dates they pick, pick for everything.
Damaris
Because some sexy songs for you just came out, what, February?
Peach
Yeah, yeah, it's probably from Cowboy Carter.
Damaris
Came out when Cowboy Carter came out.
Peach
March too, or April, one of them. Yeah, March or April.
Rory
I say either Beyonce or.
Peach
Or Kendrick of last year, though I.
Rory
Think Drake and Party UMG has too many ties still. Viacom and bt, even though I think BET separated from Biocom.
Damaris
But.
Rory
But yeah, too many ties. I don't think Drake's gonna win a thing.
Damaris
That category stacked.
Rory
Beyonce or Kendrick. I'm going there.
Damaris
Best female R B Pop artist Ari Lennox, IRA star. IRA Star, Coco Jones, Kehlani Money, Long Summer Walker, Scissor and Victoria.
Peach
Scissor will win.
Damaris
Monet. Yeah, Scissor probably get that. Best male R B Pop artists, Bruno Mars, Chris Brown, Drake, Friday, Leon Thomas, Teddy Swims, the Weeknd and Usher.
Peach
Leon or Chris Brown will win.
Rory
Yeah, I think Leon should win. But yeah, I'm going either Leona or Chris. I mean, listen, Teddy is amazing, but is that allowed?
Peach
Yeah. Justin Timberlake don't want a couple BET Awards.
Rory
Okay.
Peach
And so is Eminem.
Rory
And Eminem. Yeah.
Damaris
Yeah.
Rory
But I have two BET awards in my house and I feel weird.
Damaris
Teddy Swims is. I guess he's R B. Yeah, he's definitely. Yeah.
Rory
I mean, it went pop. Yeah, it's pop stuff, but it leans there. But I mean, outside of that, we don't have to go through everything. Best collaboration maybe would be the only other category that I think is. Is noteworthy. 30 for 30. Scissor and Kendrick, alter ego, Dochi and JT, are you even real? Teddy Swims and Giveon, which is incredible. Beckham, D Bills, Kylie, a whole bunch of people bless Lil Wayne. Neon Thug like that Future Metro Boom and Kendrick, Luther, Sticky with Tyler and Glorilla, Sexy Red, Timeless, the Weeknd and Playboi Carti.
Peach
Luther is gonna win that, but Sticky is a strong contender too.
Rory
If they get to perform that record, I think it wins. And I. I could see Tyler doing the BET Awards.
Peach
I could see Tyler doing.
Damaris
What song is Sticky?
Rory
It's like a marching band joint. That record is crazy.
Peach
Sticky, Sticky, Sticky. Hey, lit ass, step inside, we popping. You remember when Tyler's album came out, it was like the main like single, like the big one.
Damaris
There's too much out here to listen to, man.
Rory
If you heard the record, you would know.
Damaris
I forget all of this, man. Y' all know I'm terrible with titles, but once I hear the song, I'm.
Rory
Like, okay, yeah, you definitely know which joint that is.
Damaris
Okay.
Rory
But I mean, hey, we always support the BET Awards here. I look forward to it.
Peach
Y' all trying to go what's up?
Rory
I don't know. To the actual awards if there's terrible for working.
Damaris
I hate though. I hate award shows. Like actually can't use the bathroom. Sitting there watching the product, it's. Oh, man, it's just a long sitting there. A lot of over and over.
Peach
Like, wait, like if they some up, they got to do it like over.
Damaris
Yeah, it's not live.
Peach
That's crazy.
Damaris
So, yeah, like if somebody come out and stumble or fall or something, you know, running from the top. Yeah.
Peach
Oh my.
Damaris
Absolutely.
Peach
God, I never thought about that.
Damaris
Yeah.
Rory
I mean, the ones that are live or delayed, they don't do that. But you also can't move until like a possible commercial break. But if it's only a 32nd one, you can't go like, yes. It's not fun. That's why people. That's why people are pissed off. Not when they lose. It's like, why did I sit here? Yeah, the was the point of coming out here. Like, I did all this to lose.
Peach
It's good. It's good for your brand. Like, you need to be. You need to be seen and in the place and stuff like that. Oh, speaking of which, I'm signing up for acting classes. Sorry, just. I'm signing up for acting classes. Do you want to come with me?
Rory
When are they. Is it like improv or like acting?
Peach
It's going to be acting classes.
Rory
Okay. Yeah, some of them for I might be down.
Peach
Me and Rory want to be actors more.
Damaris
Welcome to the club.
Rory
Ayahuasca could get us there.
Damaris
Oh, definitely.
Peach
No, we wouldn't want to be in Hollywood. Off the ayahuasca, we will see all the evil people.
Damaris
Oh, is ayahuasca really Hollywood?
Rory
See, not even tying that together.
Damaris
It's not even, you know, it's not even registering.
Rory
I feel like after the ayahuasca, I could, like, play the. The remake of Sean Penn. I Am Sam. I think after ayahuasca, I would smoke that rope. Like, if I really dug deep, I.
Damaris
Was also, like, eating Gilbert Grape. You would be like, an amazing Brad Pitt and Meet Joe Black. I think that's like. That would be like. I think that role. I think that's babe for you. Off the Ayahuasca.
Rory
All right, this would be a up question, because I haven't seen I Am Sam since it probably came out and I was a kid. I remember him having a daughter and screaming about pancakes. How did he get a daughter?
Damaris
Oh, you know how he got it.
Rory
No, I don't. I really don't remember the movie like that. I was a child when it came out. I was really young. I just remember a scene about screaming about pancakes, and his daughter was sitting across from him. And then I got older. I was like, like, how do you get a daughter? Do I have the plot right? I'm really asking.
Peach
Oh, so her. I guess he. So that wasn't his daughter.
Rory
Bad answer. That's going to make me look like a dick.
Peach
But it wasn't his daughter, I think. Oh, no, it really was his daughter. Lucy.
Rory
No.
Peach
Why are y' all laughing?
Rory
I'm not laughing.
Damaris
All right, my bad. I'm sorry.
Peach
No, Lucy in Dakota Fanning played her.
Damaris
Yes, that was Dakota. Fitting.
Rory
So how did Lucy get in the picture?
Peach
He. Her mother. She was a homeless woman.
Rory
No, I know how babies are made.
Peach
No. Well, it was a homeless woman, and she abandoned her. I've never seen a movie. What's so funny?
Damaris
Oh.
Peach
I didn't. I didn't know that he.
Damaris
That's why I'm laughing, because I know the marriage. She don't know the movie, so she just reading it.
Peach
Oh, I didn't. I didn't know. I'm sorry.
Damaris
Oh, holy.
Rory
It was just the pure innocence of J. I'm like, he homeless woman has.
Damaris
No idea about Sam.
Peach
Yeah, okay.
Rory
That didn't make it any better, by the way.
Damaris
Yeah, yeah. We still don't know.
Peach
Well, it says he's well adjusted and has a supportive group of friends with disabilities as well.
Rory
No, I'm taking anything.
Damaris
Everybody's. The whole crew is sick.
Rory
Please put a bleep.
Damaris
Holy.
Rory
Anyways.
Damaris
Oh my God.
Rory
Hey.
Damaris
So we all make mistakes, but owning up is the right thing to do. You know Degree Cool Rush deodorant? Well, last year they changed the formula and it did not go well with their fans. Degree's whole thing is it turns up the sweat and odor protection when you turn up the effort. And good thing it does, because Cool Rush fans really turned up the effort to bring back the original formula. One guy even started an online petition and Degree listened. They admitted they effed up and are bringing the original Cool Rush scent back. And it's exactly how you remember it. Cool, crisp and fresh. It's back in Walmart, Target and other stores now for under $4. There's a reason why it's been the number one men's anti purse print for the last decade. It's the same reason why people were not happy when it changed. So if you never tried it, it might be a good time to see what the fuss is about. Head to your local Walmart or Target to try the OG Degree Cool Rush for yourself.
E
Have you ever looked around at your crew and thought, man, these are my people? The ones who turn the smallest moments into memories you'll be talking about for years. The folks who show up when you need them and make your life so much better. Well, now you can make those moments even sweeter. Because Share a Coke is back. And this time, it's all about celebrating friendships. Whether you're hanging out, watching the game, or just chopping it up. There's a Coke for everyone from bestie and bro to classic names like David and Sarah. These special cans and bottles are made for your whole squad. So grab one, crack it open, and toast to the people who make life worth celebrating. But don't wait. They won't be around forever. So grab one for everybody, pop the top, and keep the good vibes flowing. Next time you're making memories, don't miss your chance to share a Coke with all your favorite people.
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Rory
Get this. Adults with financial literacy skills have 82% more wealth than those who don't. From swimming lessons to piano classes, us parents invest in so many things to.
Damaris
Enrich our kids lives.
Rory
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Damaris
I knew Damaris had no idea what that movie was about.
Peach
Oh, I really did. I've never seen it before, so I'm just like, now I have to watch it. I feel bad. I want to like get context. He seems like a nice guy. Is it a.
Rory
Yeah, that movie was like legendary.
Damaris
No, it's a classic movie.
Rory
I just really have not seen it since I was a kid. So I don't remember.
Peach
I don't feel like Dakota Fan and get her flowers. Dakota fan had been acting her ass off since like a jit. But I will end up watching I Am Sam's just so that I know exactly what you guys are laughing at. Y' all are terrible people.
Rory
But remember, we're not laughing at anything. I don't remember the plot. I just remember that one scene and I know it's talked about as a classic. That's all I was. That's all I was getting at.
Peach
If you had a dream role, like if you could think of a role that like you've seen someone act before and you would like to be that good and act in that kind of role, what would it be?
Rory
Hmm, that's a. That's a good question.
Peach
Mine would be Joker. Joker and the Dark Knight. If I could embody a role like that, like embody it like that. But that's a very, very high goal.
Rory
Okay. So if you went that route, because I agree with you, Joker would be just any type of villain that's played with, like, sickness. Yeah, I'm with you on that all the way. I'll go the emotional route. Jim Carrey in Heartless Spotted, whatever. The heartless mind of the Spotted.
Peach
Whatever classic movie, like, Eternal Sunshine of Spotless Mind is.
Rory
There we go. Classic movie. Love that. And, like, you know, you just got to look sad on the Long Island Railroad. I've done that a million times. Like, I could definitely. And, like, I've definitely wanted to get the process where you could just take somebody out of your brain forever. Like, I've been there, there. And now that there's the technology in this movie.
Damaris
Like, right.
Rory
What? Sony to act Ma. Would you ever success.
Damaris
Would I back. Yeah, I act every day.
Peach
I know, but. I know, but I mean, like, for real, like, you know, like, really act.
Damaris
Yeah. Yeah. I was talking to. Shout out to Omar Epps. I've been talking to him a lot about getting into acting, things like that. So I thought about it.
Peach
I think you should take classes. Not with us. We know you don't want to do with us, but I think you should take classes.
Rory
We're just gonna just go right past that. Yeah. I've just been talking to Omar Epps about getting into acting. I know he listens to the show. I've DM'd with him as well. But I just don't casually be like, yeah, you know, I got a little acting mentor right now, Omar Epps. Like, I'm thinking about it.
Damaris
I can't know because I'm not acting yet, but he is somebody that I speak to about getting into it, though, though.
Rory
He would be a great person to learn from.
Damaris
Oh, no. 1,000%. One of my favorite actors for sure. And. And just a solid, solid individual. Shout out to Omar. What.
Rory
What would be your first role? I feel like out the gate, you would have to not go with, like, Kane or Gang Banger three. Like, you would have to do something that would get you out of being.
Damaris
Type I. I would definitely want to be in a movie that's, like, kind of, I guess, not acting, because I could see myself really being in that type of situation. Like. Like high school New York, having friends getting into a little bullshit in the streets. Like, that's acting. But it's not, because I could really see that. Like, I probably lived that exact.
Rory
Like, you are steal from.
Damaris
Exactly.
Peach
Well, I love you, like, a lot. I want to preface with that. You think you could play a high Schooler.
Rory
Yeah. Okay.
Damaris
Absolutely.
Rory
I mean, when you do go look at, like, the credits for high school movies, they do end up being, like, 38.
Peach
Look at ti. Listen. See, I was old as fucking ATL. Well, when I was. That does usually happen when I was looking it up. It says that you're supposed to have an acting age range of five years, like, from one age to one age, and it should be five years in between, but your real age should be somewhere in there. So I was trying to figure out, like, what age I can play, but I have to include 31 in those years. So I'm like, okay, I feel like I could do 27 to 32. Do I feel like I could get 27 to 32 off? Because I don't think I could do 30 to 35. I don't think I could get off being 35 years old.
Rory
I could definitely play.
Damaris
You can. Depending on the aesthetic.
Peach
Yeah. The hair and makeup.
Damaris
Yeah, absolutely.
Rory
If I shave my beard and shave most of my hair on my head.
Damaris
Then you would be Remy and Higher Learning.
Rory
That too. But I'm really trying to get that Channing Tatum role in Coach Carter. I could definitely get that role.
Damaris
Yeah.
Rory
Because he didn't say anything really, at all. No, he just sat there.
Damaris
He was just a rebounder.
Rory
He just put. He just cut the sleeve off his T shirt and put it on his head, which I did in high school football. I could play that role.
Damaris
High school movies that have, like, basketball in it are so funny to watch. It's like, yo, these actors cannot play basketball at all. Like, y' all look crazy trying to act like y' all playing basketball.
Rory
And I could never act. Like, I would ask Ashanti to get an abortion.
Damaris
I wouldn't even know how to act.
Rory
How do you even pull that up? What was the name of that actor? He deserves a award. Looking at Shanti dead in her face like, nah, get rid of that. It's crazy.
Damaris
The baby fat coat on. Like, come on. You know the baby fat. That's the number one abortion clinic coat right there.
Rory
It hides a lot.
Damaris
Yeah, yeah. You know, they. When they come out the clinic with that baby fat coat on, it's like, yeah, you know, she got rid of that. Well, we got to go pick up the prescription at cvs, so we're gonna walk over there real quick. You know, they know that route right there. It's right down the block. You know how that shit look at Baby D. Maybe you had a baby fat coat on coming out the clinic.
Peach
No, I did not get Pregnant in high school.
Damaris
But you're funny as that wasn't the number one coat.
Rory
It was. It was.
Damaris
If a girl had a baby fat coat, she either got an abortion or she's hiding her pregnancy one.
Rory
Or she's on her way to go have sex where she will get pregnant.
Damaris
Exactly. Either.
Rory
It's just a fertile coat.
Damaris
Yeah. It comes with.
Rory
It comes with a baby bump you could zip out.
Damaris
No, the inside of the baby fat coat, if you look at the panel, comes with actual baby names.
Rory
And they're all Kimura and alphabetical order.
Peach
Kimora, Paris. Don't do that, yo.
Rory
Oh, Melody for sure.
Damaris
London. Yo.
Rory
Baby D. A bunch of melodies have been killed in a baby.
Damaris
Baby D definitely wore a pair of pastries when she was up.
Peach
Oh, I love pastries.
Damaris
You had. I was joking.
Peach
I. I was a. I was a pastry pair of pastries.
Damaris
Nah. Yo, you kidding?
Peach
I was like 10 years old when pastries dropped. They were colorful sneakers.
Rory
Yeah.
Peach
My parents bought them for me. I was like 10 years old when pastries dropped.
Damaris
I keep forgetting the age.
Peach
Yeah, I'm forget.
Rory
I mean this respectfully. Damaris is ghetto as. I don't know if.
Damaris
Oh no, I know, I know. I know exactly how ghetto she is. Absolutely.
Rory
Yeah, I did. Well.
Damaris
Yeah.
Peach
Definitely South. Definitely cartoon coat. I had the cartoon coat ghetto. I was cartoon coat ghetto though.
Damaris
The Skittles jacket.
Rory
Yeah. I ran my grace.
Damaris
Anytime you've seen a boy wearing a like a Tweety Bird or Eminem jacket, he bite. He bite the out.
Rory
First of all, don't. Don't do that because bite the out you. Your burrow. Ran the Cookie Monster and Elmo shirt.
Damaris
But it was different collab into the ground. They was cutting. If you see a.
Rory
Hiding a razor under the ELMO Walking down 3rd Ave and getting cut by somebody in a Cookie Monster. I live.
Damaris
We lived through some nasty errors, man. Remember when they tried to Japanese symbol us with the. With the. With the baseball hats?
Rory
Of course.
Damaris
Nasty time. The Yankees. That's not Yankees.
Rory
They don't wear those.
Damaris
Derek Cheetah never played in that.
Rory
No, it was when Matsui came. That's.
Damaris
What was that when they did it?
Rory
Yeah.
Damaris
No, it wasn't each.
Rory
It was Matt when Matsui came playing field.
Damaris
Nah, we have that.
Rory
We have to look at change because.
Damaris
You might be right now to think about it. And that's racist because I was in.
Rory
High school and that. Yeah, that was definitely that.
Damaris
Yo. The MLB is crazy for that campaign. The. The. The Japanese symbol hats because Matsui got one.
Rory
Ichiro got a crazy contract. That was like the time when the. You know, I don't. Was. Were they offered from Japan or China?
Damaris
Matsui was Japanese.
Rory
I don't want to get that wrong.
Damaris
Yeah, Matsui was definitely Japanese. His nickname was Godzilla, right?
Rory
Yeah, yeah, but we're so. Oh, my God over here that anyone that's Asian be like, yo.
Damaris
No, you don't. You don't know how racist it is, baby. I think they introd him at the stadium. He came out of Godzilla. Like, he might have walked out of Godzilla's stomach or some crazy like that. Like, that's how. Like that's how death toe. Tone deaf, the Yankees are. They don't. Steinbrenner didn't give a. Once he signed that check. You listen, you're gonna walk out of the Godzilla right onto Jerome Avenue. We don't give a.
Rory
To place it on the train.
Damaris
Absolutely. What? Once you signed that deal, it's over. I own you now.
Rory
And what's funny is he, he looked 45 and played like he was 21.
Damaris
Matsui. Yeah. Oh, he was a problem. He was a beast.
Rory
How do we even get on that?
Peach
Yeah, we just. We yapping. We haven't had a chance to catch up with each other. We've been having back to back to back guests, which we love, but it doesn't give us time to talk about the dumb that we talk about because we don't want to embarrass ourselves in front of company.
Damaris
Right?
Rory
Yo, thinking about that Mezcal. Just having flashbacks. Top one, worst hangover I ever had. Azad and Britt got me a massage for my birthday the next day, and I didn't want to cancel. I was like, people don't give me things. This will be nice. I laid on the bathroom floor of the massage place, threw up everywhere, then got onto the massage table in the other room. Five minutes in, I said, can I get up and lay on the floor, please? And laid in the fetal position for the whole hour massage. I was like, you just turn the air on and close the door.
Damaris
Wow. How do y' all drink like that?
Peach
I don't. He was wilding.
Rory
I didn't know what I was. I didn't know I was drinking gasoline.
Damaris
Oh. Oh, you didn't know how. Oh, I was. Yeah. Oh, okay.
Rory
He was drinking the pure shoe. That was the worst hangover I ever had in my life. Yeah, like, it took, like, three or four days just to, like, get back to zero.
Peach
I'm getting Rory drunk with me next month. I want to see how he. How he handles that?
Damaris
Why next month? What's next month?
Peach
We have an event to go to. But he gonna be with me.
Damaris
Oh, okay.
Peach
And. But we got to record the next day. We're gonna be here the next day, so you're gonna see us.
Rory
Now, I know they cutting the dope. I mean, it might be sober at.
Peach
That point, but they're not. To clarify that, they're not cutting it with. They're just not using pure agave. They're using cane sugar instead. It's still the same amount of alcohol. It's just not as good for you.
Rory
It's like some juice, some pulp. That's all it is.
Damaris
We got voicemails. You've got mail. All right, well, this episode of Voicemails Today is being sponsored by Rose Sparks. Rory.
Rory
Yes, sir.
Damaris
Ro will help you grow.
Rory
Listen.
Damaris
What, man? It will.
Rory
Especially at the 35 now.
Damaris
Yeah, you need it. Need a little.
Rory
When your shoulders start hurting.
Damaris
Yeah. Get a little lead in the pins.
Rory
Oh, it's all connected.
Damaris
There you go.
Rory
Everything. Play the voicemail. What up, pie crew? What up, peach? Love what y' all been doing, man? Y' all have really been potting yalls asses off as of late. And I. I always think y' all potty yalls asses off, but. But I'll be on Reddit sometimes, but hey, so on Patreon, y' all were talking about saying, hey, this is all your dick. And then Mall said, somebody gonna laugh at that afterwards. And it made me start thinking like I'm in a five year relationship. So when me and my girl have, you know, get down to business and we, like, something funny happens or we say something that's outlandish, we kind of, you know, laugh in the moment and just keep going. But I think we all know it's a little different if it's a one night stand. So I was asking y' all, what are some of those embarrassing type sex moments that maybe you've experienced or heard about that kind of would have been different in a relationship setting, like even like the quick fart or whatever. That's like the. The simple shit. I'm talking about some wild, like the chick screaming where the whole apartment complex can hear it for the whole night or whatever. I'm just trying to. Trying to see which all are on. And Damaris chill out with the mysteriousness for this one.
Damaris
Yeah, he want to hear you. He want to hear your story. Baby D. Yeah.
Rory
Is that cheating?
Damaris
Wanting to hear somebody.
Rory
Him asking Baby D for her sex stories while he's in a five year relationship. That might be cheating.
Damaris
Nah, that's not cheating.
Peach
That's cheating.
Damaris
Oh, and a voicemail. That's crazy.
Rory
Nah, that's cheating for sure.
Damaris
Nah, man.
Rory
Asking us isn't cheating, but that's cheating. Well, first of all, if you take. If you take the row no. 1, there's nothing to laugh at. Yeah, we getting down to business. Nobody's gonna be giggling. No business time.
Damaris
Nothing funny. Right?
Rory
With that said, I mean, I told the story a long time ago, so I guess I can tell it again. But I told this like 20, 21, when I had a threesome. And then one of the girls blew up my bathroom the next morning.
Damaris
Oh, yeah.
Rory
To like the point that, like, I had to leave the master bedroom. Yeah, like me and the other girl.
Damaris
Yeah.
Rory
That's when we started bonding.
Damaris
Yeah. Yeah, that's when.
Rory
That's when she got worried in the threesome of, like, yo, if you guys go off and do something else, that's up again. Well, you shouldn't have blown up the bathroom. We can't breathe.
Damaris
You can't. Gotta get out of here. Just stink caboose.
Rory
You eating eggo waffles out. Stink caboose.
Damaris
Your caboose stinks.
Rory
So, yeah, that was embarrassing on the other end. Or more funny, a funny moment I had.
Damaris
And it was the first time me and this girl had sex her. Was it iud? Yeah, it came out nice.
Rory
Remember?
Peach
Yo, big dig. Daryl, we.
Damaris
We didn't know. We didn't know.
Peach
Here we go with this shit. Go ahead, Mom. Sorry. I'm sorry, I'm sorry. My bad.
Damaris
I'm just telling you a real story.
Peach
Okay, go ahead.
Damaris
So she couldn't. She couldn't feel it. So literally, this is the first time we had hung out, hooked up that night. Like, she's laying on the bed, like, legs all the way back. Like, I'm like two fingers inside her vagina trying to find her. Because she's like, yo, like, I have an iud. Like, and I can't feel it. We shaking the sheets. We look at. I'm talking about everywhere.
Rory
What if it hit you in the face after you took the shot?
Damaris
I mean, so be it. But she finally. She went in the shower and she was in the shower and she was like. You know, she was standing, she was watching. She felt something. So she's like. She squat down and literally, like, fell out. She was like, yo, I found it. Like, she just yelled, I found it from the shower. And I was like. Like, we didn't in the shower, she was like. It literally just fell out.
Rory
Did you put it back in me? Yeah.
Peach
No. You're not really qualified. He's not really qualified.
Rory
You're not asleep, but you're calling him Big Dick. Daryl, the IUD is that far up. What's the thing that you can, like, really feel with your fingers?
Peach
That's like, probably like a period disc or something like that. Like that.
Rory
Isn't there, like, some birth control? I remember in high school, fingering a girl and touching that, and I was like, whoa, what's this?
Peach
No, I think he. He's talking about the sponge that you used to put the spermicide on that you can. They used to slide up inside. You remember spermicide?
Rory
Did it go anywhere?
Peach
Yeah, I don't remember.
Damaris
Yeah, Tropical Fantasy. It was in every store. They had fruit punch.
Peach
No, because I felt like that wasn't a thing. Like, by the time I started having sex, but I read about it and stuff in health class, like, spermicide was, like, a thing.
Damaris
Yeah. That's what niggas in the 90s thought was gonna stop them from getting AIDS.
Rory
Hold on. I need to know the thinking of how that. That's stopping aids.
Damaris
People were stupid.
Rory
Did you just buy cvs?
Damaris
That's like, yo, look, it got spermicide in it. That kills everything. Yeah. All right.
Rory
No. My favorite myth when we were younger was when semen hits air, it's dead. That's not true. Like, it's not. That's not true at all. Like, n. I pulled up, it was on. But, like, it hit the air, and, like, they become fucking scientists. That's true. Sperm. And when it hits oxygen is no longer. That's not true, Rory.
Peach
That's true.
Rory
I'm telling you it's not true. A doctor told me that and thought it was the funniest thing in the world.
Peach
Sperm dies quickly when exposed to air. It says it can live for up to 30 minutes once outside the body. 30 minutes.
Rory
That's a long ass time.
Damaris
30 minutes. Too long for that one night stand. Yeah, you gotta go let that drip out.
Peach
Did y' all know that Plan B's don't work when you ovulating? Did y' all know that?
Rory
No.
Peach
Now you know. Just thought I'd tell you that yet.
Damaris
Plan Bs don't work when you're.
Peach
If you've already. If the egg already dropped, baby, ain't nothing you could do the part. The purpose of a Plan B is to delay the egg dropping, so that delays the sperm getting to the egg.
Damaris
It's like tariffs on.
Peach
Yeah. So if the. If the.
Rory
Didn'T that pre check, that's all.
Peach
If the egg has already come out and you get nutted in, you ass out. No matter when you take the plan, you could take that right after the nut hits you, and it doesn't matter.
Rory
I mean, hypothetically, if I ever never bought Plan Bs for women, I've never. They've never been like, chill, I'm ovulating. Save your 50 bucks. I've never heard that.
Peach
Most women also don't know that. My friend found that out the hard way.
Rory
And, I mean, if she said that, I'd be like, chill. My nut hit the air.
Damaris
You good.
Rory
You could.
Damaris
I had the windows open.
Rory
The fan was oscillating.
Damaris
Yo, I got a humidifier.
Rory
Like, sperm cannot so much air.
Damaris
Sperm cannot survive in my room.
Peach
A humidifier is killing me.
Damaris
I got a humidifier air fryer. Like, whatever. Like. Yeah, like, spread. Spread them.
Rory
Spread some beef curtains. I'm gonna take the fan and just.
Damaris
That's the problem. You don't let it air out. You gotta let that air out after you finish. That's the problem. A lot of y' all just close your legs and just n. Keep that.
Peach
No, you gotta run her up and run to the bathroom and squeeze with all your might. Get all that out of there.
Damaris
Yeah, she be walking like penguin.
Peach
You cool is you. What is with this episode? This episode is so off.
Damaris
The this episode of voicemails is brought to you by RO SP RO will help you grow. You put it right under your tongue, let it dissolve, and you get to business. It is what it is. It's like embed, setting the screen, baby. It's time to shoot.
Rory
But just to make it clear, when RO enters your body, it does not kill se.
Damaris
It does not kill Sean like we are. Yeah, let's be very clear about that. Rose Sparks will not stop you from getting pregnant. Very, very.
Rory
You mix your row with air.
Damaris
Yeah. It's not gonna stop you from getting pregnant, man. We got another voicemail.
Rory
I mean, do we not have anything? Embarrassed. I don't know. Nothing too quick, baby.
Damaris
D, this is D from Jersey. I was actually the guy that gave Rory the car that got him out of a few tickets and a towed car. Oh, my God. Glad I answered the phone that day. But this speaks to my profession. I have one question. I'll give you a little backstory, not too deep. I can't stand one of these that I work with. So I make sure that since we share the same Car. I do things to kind of get back at them without really, you know, stirring the pot too much. So I'll do things. I'll leave the car on E. Or I'll turn the radio up, like, as loud as it can go before I turn the car off. So when they turn that shit on, it scares the fuck out of them. Just gives me a little bit more peace in my life. My question is, what is your favorite ways to be petty against somebody? You know, maybe not somebody that you actually want to do harm to, but you want to get them back for whatever they did that. That wronged you? Love the pod. I've been to both New York shows outside of the musical one and the Philly show as well. Keep going, guys.
Peach
No, thank you.
Damaris
Appreciate that, man. Thank you for those. Those cards.
Rory
Shorts. Yes, for sure. They have helped me. I think it's funny that they actually called him that. Must have been when I had a suspended license and a expired registration.
Damaris
Oh, yeah.
Rory
Going into the Holland.
Damaris
He was about to. He was about to go right to the court courthouse.
Rory
100.
Damaris
Yeah.
Rory
Yeah, that. I had two of them, like, cops. Like, it was pulling that hotel. And don't get back in that car.
Damaris
There you go.
Rory
I was like, I love being white.
Damaris
Yes, sir. Love being white and being on Rose Parks.
Rory
I was bricked up in the car. Didn't want me to step out of the car. All right, so what was this question? What's your favorite way to be petty? I'm not really naturally a petty person, but I feel like those are the most petty. Like when you push someone that's not petty to go be petty, they're going to be pettier than the petty people.
Damaris
Yeah.
Rory
Made sense in my head.
Damaris
Yeah. Yeah. I'm not a. I'm not a petty. I wouldn't say petty. I don't really. I don't really get into the petty energy with somebody. I think that if I feel like it's there at that point where I got to start being petty. Petty. We probably are not cool.
Peach
Yeah.
Damaris
So I just, like. I'm just. I just get very distant, but I'm not. I can't think of anything petty I would do to somebody. Like, I don't. I don't have that petty energy.
Peach
That's. Yeah, that's energy for, like, I gotta care about you to be petty towards you. Like, I'm petty with, like, my sisters or, like, my significant other when they pissing me off. But like a str. Like somebody I don't fuck with. I'm not gonna give you the energy. Because I know that karma gonna come back and hit you very quickly. It always happens. And then I'll just laugh when that happens.
Rory
That's so funny, though, that you're petty to the people you love and.
Peach
But it's innocent petty. It's not, like, harmful petty.
Damaris
Like, it's like, it ain't gonna disrupt your life.
Peach
Yeah. I start opening my own car doors and taking my phone off the Bluetooth and shit. Like, if a man makes me mad, like, shit like that, like, stupid, innocent people. You left the toilet seat up. Then I'm gonna do some stupid shit. You know what I'm saying? Like, just dumb shit like that. When you live with somebody, or like with my little sister, she steals a piece of my clothing. When I was younger, I would steal one back. Like, little petty shit. But, like, to really, really be petty and put people in as an adult.
Damaris
Yeah. That' I don't have. I can't. I really don't even have that. Like, I don't care enough, I think, to be petty to somebody.
Peach
Yeah.
Damaris
Like, if I feel like, yo, yeah, I gotta do something petty to this person. Like, I don't like this person. If I don't like you, I just don't. I don't rock with you. We're not gonna be around each other like that. But I don't have that petty energy. I can't think of actually taking my brain and be like, yeah, let me think of something to do to get back at this. I just. I can't do that.
Rory
Yeah. And that's more revenge than I think, I guess you can be petty in revenge, but not all revenge is petty.
Damaris
Right.
Rory
So I don't know. I mean, if I. If the opportunity. If the ayahuasca brings that energy to me and I have the opportunity to be petty, I might think about it, but I'm not going out my way to be petty. And also, like, I enjoy watching people not have me in their life and. And just watching what happens.
Damaris
Yeah.
Rory
That's the pettiness that I feel. Which sounds arrogant. I'm not saying in that type of way.
Damaris
No, I get what you mean.
Rory
But, like, all right. I just. Continue to be yourself.
Damaris
Yeah. It wasn't.
Rory
I won't interrupt you.
Damaris
Yeah, yeah, yeah. Be. Be who you are. Yeah. Be your best.
Rory
See the difference?
Damaris
Exactly.
Rory
That's really all. But, you know.
Damaris
Oh, man, this was a great episode.
Peach
I feel like it went by so fast.
Damaris
Yeah. I had a lot of fun with you.
Rory
If I do want to be Petty to her. I won't take that row and she'll just get. She'll get regular Rory dick.
Damaris
Yeah, you don't want to do that. Give a little spark.
Peach
I don't want that.
Damaris
Bring a little spark into the bedroom.
Rory
Who puts the row on Rory, bro? Sparks does.
Damaris
Rose Sparks does. All right, well, good talking to you people. I guess we'll see each other in a couple days, right? Yeah, it was today. Yeah. Monday.
Peach
We about to take pictures with each other and pretend we like you.
Rory
Yeah, we got new merch coming.
Damaris
New merch available soon.
Rory
Soon we'll have a date for you guys. Bunch of new pieces. We're about to do a photo shoot, which I hate because I don't know what to do in photos. So you'll probably just get a stoic face of me wearing the merch. But, you know, know you're going to.
Damaris
Get pictures of me in this and then go buy this and, yeah, you'll.
Rory
See me do get one of these. Maybe I'll hit him one of these.
Damaris
Oh, there you go. Right there. Yeah, I'mma buy that hoodie. We'll talk to y' all soon. Be safe. Be blessed. I'm that. He's just ginger. Peace.
Rory
No worry now.
Mall
Okay. Have you heard about this? Last year, Degree changed the formula for their Cool Rush deodorant. The fans rebel and wanted the old scent back. Back and degree listen. And that doesn't happen often. They admitted they effed up and are bringing the original Cool Rush scent back. And it's exactly how you remember it. Cool, crisp and fresh. There's a reason why it's the number one man's antiperspirant. And it's back in Walmart, Target and other stores now for under $4. So try it and see what the fuss is about. Head to your local Walmart Target and try to OG Cool Rush for yourself.
Peach
Hey, Janice Torres here and I'm Austin Hankwitz. We're the hosts of Mind the Business Small Business Success Stories, stories produced by Ruby Studio and Intuit QuickBooks.
E
Catch up on seasons one and two.
Peach
And join us for a brand new season of the podcast as we talk to small business owners about how they manage and grow their businesses with the help of platforms like Intuit QuickBooks.
Rory
Listen to mind the Business Small Business Success Stories on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Here at the Almond Joy Factory, where tropical vibes abound. We use soft, sweet, fresh tasting coconut, the crunchiest almonds, and delicious chocolate candy.
Damaris
Ah, but do you know what our.
Rory
Most important ingredient is? Sometimes you feel like a nut, sometimes you don't. Almond Joy's got nuts. And something even way better than that. Yes, Almond Joy is made with almonds and joy.
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Podcast Summary: Episode 370 | McGngbng
Title: New Rory & MAL
Hosts: Rory and Damaris
Platform: iHeartPodcasts and The Volume
Release Date: May 13, 2025
The episode kicks off with Rory expressing discomfort related to aging, mentioning shoulder pain and general aches that have started to set in since turning 35. Damaris humorously comments on Rory’s complaints, suggesting that such pains are typical signs of growing older.
The conversation lightens as they discuss the inevitability of minor pains and the importance of staying hydrated and rested.
Rory and Damaris review their previous episode featuring guests Lex and Dre, noting its popularity and positive fan feedback. They share anecdotes about fan interactions, including supportive DMs and unexpected backlash from certain listener segments.
They address a specific incident where Rory’s interactions with fans led to misunderstandings, resulting in negative comments and even death threats. The hosts clarify the nature of Rory’s relationship with Lex, emphasizing their long-standing friendship and mutual respect.
The discussion evolves into how the duo manages relationships within their social and professional circles. They contemplate the idea of inviting more women into their content creation process, debating the potential benefits and drawbacks.
Peach, a recurring co-host, joins in to offer perspectives on maintaining professionalism while fostering a comfortable environment for all participants.
A significant portion of the episode delves into quirky discussions about McDonald's secret menu items, particularly the infamous "McGang Bang" and the "McLobster." Rory shares his insider experience from working at an advertising company that handled the McLobster campaign.
The hosts humorously critique the taste and marketing of these items, debating their place in McDonald's offerings and lamenting their discontinuation.
Rory and Damaris transition into a lively discussion about various alcoholic beverages, sharing personal experiences and preferences. They explore the nuances between different types of tequila, mezcal, absinthe, and moonshine, often interjecting with humorous takes on their effects.
Peach contributes by clarifying misconceptions about certain drinks and their cultural significance, adding depth to the conversation.
The hosts express their ambitions to venture into acting, discussing dream roles and the challenges involved. Damaris shares her admiration for actor Omar Epps, highlighting his influence and mentorship potential.
Rory elaborates on his acting interests, referencing classic films like "I Am Sam" and contemplating how experiences like Ayahuasca ceremonies could influence their performances.
A segment is dedicated to discussing the BET Awards nominations, covering favorite artists and predicting potential winners. The conversation reflects their genuine engagement with the music industry and their thoughts on artist performances.
They analyze the likelihood of nominees like Beyonce, Kendrick Lamar, and others taking home awards, emphasizing the competitive nature of the categories.
The episode transitions into listener voicemails, where Rory, Damaris, and Peach share and react to personal stories submitted by their audience. These anecdotes range from embarrassing sexual moments to petty retaliation tactics in the workplace.
Peach and Damaris provide supportive and humorous commentary, fostering a sense of community and relatability among listeners.
Towards the end of the episode, the hosts reflect on personal mistakes and the importance of owning up to them. They discuss humorous mishaps like having an expired driver's license and navigating pettiness in relationships, reinforcing their commitment to authenticity.
This segment serves as a culmination of their candid discussions, blending humor with heartfelt admissions.
The episode concludes with Rory and Damaris teasing upcoming merchandise and expressing gratitude towards their listeners. They emphasize their dedication to maintaining a genuine connection with their audience.
Episode 370 of New Rory & MAL offers a blend of humor, personal anecdotes, and candid discussions on various topics ranging from personal health and aging to quirky secret menu items and aspirations in acting. Rory and Damaris engage deeply with their listeners through shared experiences and relatable stories, all while maintaining a light-hearted and entertaining atmosphere. Whether reminiscing about past episodes, navigating complex relationships, or dissecting the intricacies of the music and beverage industries, the hosts provide a rich and engaging narrative that resonates with both long-time fans and new listeners alike.