Episode 394 | Celebrity Simulation

Summary

Podcast Summary: New Rory & MAL – Episode 394 | Celebrity Simulation

Hosts: Rory & MAL
Release Date: August 5, 2025
Description: New stories, new laughs, new random hot takes that no one asked for… New Rory & MAL

---

In Episode 394 titled "Celebrity Simulation," hosts Rory and MAL deliver an engaging and humor-filled discussion that traverses their recent weekend adventures, deep dives into WWE events, speculative celebrity scenarios, and playful banter on various pop culture topics. Here's a detailed breakdown of the episode:

1. Weekend Adventures and Awkward Encounters ([03:00] - [07:00])

Rory kicks off the conversation by recounting his recent trip to a Little Brother concert in New York, which unexpectedly led him to run into his ex-girlfriend Carly and her date at a nearby hotel bar.

• Rory Reynolds [04:27]: "We did end up speaking, which is very awkward because there's a dude, and I want to be like that guy to make it even weirder."
• MAL [04:50]: "No, we locked eyes, like, the moment I walked in."

Their humorous take on navigating awkward social situations sets a lighthearted tone for the episode.

2. Attending SummerSlam and Wrestling Insights ([07:00] - [22:00])

The hosts delve into their experience at WWE SummerSlam, sharing their support for Jade Cargill and their perspectives on various matches and wrestlers.

• MAL [09:16]: "She retained the Women's Championship, but it was good to go there and support Jade."
• Rory Reynolds [13:35]: "He looks spry in the ring."

They discuss the intensity of live wrestling events and their observations on wrestlers like Logan Paul and Jelly Roll, highlighting the blend of athleticism and entertainment in WWE.

3. Speculative Celebrity Scenarios and Internet Buzz ([22:00] - [35:00])

Shifting gears, Rory and MAL engage in a lively debate about bizarre celebrity news, including a fictional scenario involving Nicki Minaj and Dez Bryant negotiating a fight.

• Rory Reynolds [25:28]: "I didn't say it made sense."
• MAL [25:49]: "But Dez Bryant is Dez Bryant. Don't offer."

This segment showcases their knack for improvisation and satirical commentary on sensationalist media.

4. The WNBA Dildo Debate – A Comedic Take ([35:00] - [45:00])

In a humorous and absurd turn, the hosts discuss a fictional trend of fans throwing dildos onto the WNBA court. They speculate on the logistics, safety concerns, and the potential motivations behind such actions.

• Rory Reynolds [75:06]: "Baby D. She's born in the shower, so she always smells like lavender."
• MAL [75:43]: "They throw dildos now? Yeah."

Their comedic chemistry shines as they navigate this outlandish topic with wit and exaggerated seriousness.

5. Listener Call-ins and Personal Stories ([45:00] - [60:00])

The episode incorporates fictional listener calls, where callers share personal dilemmas and experiences. Rory and MAL respond with a blend of empathy and humor, offering satirical advice and support.

• Caller 1 [103:17]: Discusses a toxic work environment and contemplates legal action.
• Rory Reynolds [105:16]: "What are you doing?"

This interactive segment adds variety and relatability to the episode, engaging listeners through imagined scenarios.

6. Fashion Advice and Closing Banter ([60:00] - [75:00])

Rory seeks fashion tips from MAL for buying sneakers for men, leading to a playful exchange about style preferences and the challenges of shopping for friends.

• Rory Reynolds [112:20]: "What kind of Nike? Like, what's the number?"
• MAL [114:15]: "He's not Puerto Rican, though."

Their lighthearted discussion on fashion provides a humorous wrap-up to the episode.

Notable Quotes with Timestamps:

• Rory Reynolds [04:27]: "We did end up speaking, which is very awkward because there's a dude, and I want to be like that guy to make it even weirder."
• MAL [09:16]: "She retained the Women's Championship, but it was good to go there and support Jade."
• Rory Reynolds [13:35]: "He looks spry in the ring."
• Rory Reynolds [25:28]: "I didn't say it made sense."
• Rory Reynolds [75:06]: "Baby D. She's born in the shower, so she always smells like lavender."
• MAL [75:43]: "They throw dildos now? Yeah."
• Rory Reynolds [105:16]: "What are you doing?"

Conclusion

Episode 394 of "New Rory & MAL – Celebrity Simulation" delivers a blend of personal anecdotes, pop culture commentary, and comedic improvisation. Rory and MAL’s dynamic interplay ensures an entertaining listen, filled with laughs, relatable moments, and imaginative scenarios that captivate both regular listeners and newcomers alike.

---

Note: Timings are approximate and refer to the start of each discussed segment within the episode.

Transcript

[Host 1]

This is an iHeart podcast.

[Host 2]

There's nothing like sinking into luxury. At washablesofas.com, you'll find the Annabe sofa which combines ultimate comfort and design at an affordable price. And get this, it's the only sofa that's fully machine washable from top to bottom. Starting at only $699. The stain resistant performance fabric, slipcovers and cloud like frame duvet can go straight into your wash. Perfect for anyone with kids, pets or who loves an easy to clean spotless sofa. With a modular design and changeable slipcovers, you can customize your sofa to fit any space and style. Whether you need a single chair, loveseat or a luxuriously large sectional, Annabe has you covered. Visit washablesofas.com to upgrade your home. Right now you can shop up to 60% off store wide with a 30 day money back guarantee. Shop [e-mail] Add a little to your life. Offers are subject to change and certain restrictions may apply.

[Ryan Reynolds]

Ryan Reynolds here from Mint Mobile with the price of just about everything going up, we thought we'd bring our prices down.

[Guest 1]

So to help us we brought in.

[Ryan Reynolds]

A reverse auctioneer which is apparently a thing Mint Mobile Unlimited Premium Wireless 3030.

[Guest 2]

Get 30 get 202020 better get 2020 better get 15151515 just 15 bucks a month sold.

[Ryan Reynolds]

Give it a [e-mail] Switch upfront payment of $45 for a 3 month plan equivalent to $15 per month required new custom only speed slow after 35 gigabytes.

[Host 2]

Of networks busy taxes and fees extra.

[Sponsor 1]

See mint mobile.com Lenovo is built for creators who don't wait for inspiration. They chase it with inventive tech, built in AI tools and seamless performance. Lenovo devices powered by Intel Core Ultra processors are designed to bring your wildest ideas to life faster. That's the power of Lenovo with Intel inside. Enjoy flexible financing, rewards on every purchase and free shipping. And students get special offers when you create an [e-mail] lenovo lenovo.

[Host 2]

This message is sponsored by Greenlight with Schoolout Summer is the perfect time to teach our kids real world money skills they'll use forever. Greenlight is a debit card and the number one family finance and safety app used by millions of families helping kids learn how to save, invest and spend wisely. Parents can send their kids money and track their spending and saving while kids build money, confidence and skills in fun ways. Start your risk free Greenlight trial [e-mail] iHeart. That's Greenlight.com. iHeart the volume.

[Guest 2]

No warrior now.

[Ryan Reynolds]

And we're back, sponsored by Boost. Happy top of the week, everybody. How's everyone feeling?

[Guest 2]

Better than you.

[Ryan Reynolds]

I'm in a great mood. Really? You sound like.

[Guest 2]

Oh, damn. Was that seven seconds, Peach.

[Ryan Reynolds]

I don't know if we made it. Ah, whole episode. Whole episode's up. Well, I had a long weekend. This is good raspiness. This is, like, had a time of your life. Yeah.

[Guest 2]

Yeah. You know, some bars is about to.

[Ryan Reynolds]

All the walls will be doing 360s in here by the time. But, yes, I had a. A very eventful weekend. That's probably why I sound this way. I actually didn't even notice that until you just pointed it out.

[Guest 2]

Yeah, it's okay.

[Ryan Reynolds]

I'll be okay.

[Guest 2]

Did you have your morning coffee? Did you, like. What was your.

[Ryan Reynolds]

I had, like, three sips. I think my, like, my tolerance for coffee is going down. I can't even, like, get through half a cup without, like, getting the jitters.

[Guest 2]

For real?

[Ryan Reynolds]

Yeah. Half the cup is still over there.

[Guest 2]

Oh.

[Ryan Reynolds]

I started feeling weird.

[Guest 2]

What is it? Espresso?

[Ryan Reynolds]

Yeah.

[Guest 2]

Oh, so I should just make some coffee?

[Ryan Reynolds]

Yeah.

[Guest 2]

Espresso. Leave that alone. Yeah. It'll kill you.

[Ryan Reynolds]

Well, I did see you this weekend.

[Guest 2]

I did see you, too.

[Ryan Reynolds]

I know it was a family outing.

[Guest 2]

Family affair.

[Ryan Reynolds]

But before we get to SummerSlam and how much fun we had as a family and how much we learned about Josh, Friday night, I went to the little brother show. Last one in New York, period. I was done. It was incredible. Per usual.

[Guest 2]

But what did it have it?

[Ryan Reynolds]

Brooklyn ball. Okay, but I don't need to come on this pod and say how much I like little brother. We've done that a million times. What happened after? Went to go meet Fonte and Carly at the hotel bar across the street. Walk right into my ex on a date the moment I walk in.

[Guest 2]

At the bar.

[Ryan Reynolds]

Yeah, it was like a bar restaurant.

[Guest 2]

Oh.

[Ryan Reynolds]

Walk right in. And then for some reason, Carly and Fonte tried to talk me out of going over to say hello, which they were successful in, but I really put up, like, a pretty crazy fight because, like, we made eye contact. Like, now I feel weird not saying.

[Guest 2]

Okay, okay, okay, but she's on it. That changes everything. You made eye contact. That changes it. I thought you just saw her.

[Ryan Reynolds]

No, we locked eyes, like, the moment I walked in.

[Guest 2]

So what were her eyes like?

[Ryan Reynolds]

Still beautiful.

[Guest 2]

Still beautiful. Still.

[Ryan Reynolds]

Still melt the heart, but definitely still full of possible evil.

[Guest 2]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Ryan Reynolds]

But we did. We did Go to the elevator at the exact same time. So we did end up speaking, which is very awkward because, like, there's a dude, and I want to be like that guy to make it even weirder.

[Guest 2]

So. So did you, like, shake his hand? Homie's hand?

[Ryan Reynolds]

Yes. It was up.

[Guest 2]

Like, the same hand that's now caressing your former queen. Like, you just gonna shake that hand?

[Ryan Reynolds]

Mm, yeah.

[Guest 2]

Nah, man. You was supposed to call. You was supposed to jump that nigga, man.

[Ryan Reynolds]

You was not coming.

[Guest 2]

Huh?

[Host 1]

You was not coming.

[Guest 2]

Nah. If he would've called me and said, it's lit, I'm coming. But if you would've just called me and said, he see his ex on a date, I'm not showing up for that. But if he would've said, nah, homie in here talking kinda spicy, he grilling me, I'd be like, hold up, we about to run down on him. Like, more.

[Ryan Reynolds]

I'm trying to become more of a. An adult, I guess.

[Guest 2]

Okay. All right.

[Ryan Reynolds]

Because the old me would try to make that awkward, but then I have to think, like, I was the reason we stopped working out. Like, I stopped pursuing and being active in the relationship.

[Guest 2]

Yeah.

[Ryan Reynolds]

So now I'm going to, like, make something awkward of something I. A girl. I was going to take. That's cool.

[Guest 2]

You can't do that. So.

[Ryan Reynolds]

Yeah, just that. What's up?

[Guest 2]

All right. That's good. How's she doing? She's. She's good.

[Ryan Reynolds]

Yeah. I mean, it was grade A small talk. And then we got into an elevator and then just stayed quiet.

[Guest 2]

And everybody's just looking at the numbers. Like, I love that. I love when you get an elevator. Everybody's just looking at what the numbers, like, especially when it's your ex.

[Ryan Reynolds]

So me. So me and Carly walked in together. Fonte was already sitting down. I don't know why I thought, like, with such confidence that everything I was saying made sense. I was like, carl, I'm just gonna go over and say, what's up? She grabbed my shirt. She's like, no, no, we're going this way. And then I sit down and I'm like, yeah, I might as well say what's up? To my ex fantasy. Like, why would you do that?

[Guest 2]

Yeah.

[Ryan Reynolds]

Like, we point to. He's like, why would someone ever do that? There's not even. There's not even a third chair for you to see. Like, you about to just over.

[Guest 2]

Now you got to tell dude to get up. Remember the. Don't fret. Don't fret. Yeah, yeah, I'm not hitting that no more.

[Ryan Reynolds]

That made up fudgeing story.

[Host 1]

That shit is so funny.

[Guest 2]

But that's cool, though.

[Ryan Reynolds]

I mean, should I pull them all? Should I, like, paid the check?

[Guest 2]

Definitely.

[Ryan Reynolds]

Because also, I didn't see what they had ordered either.

[Guest 2]

It don't even matter. It don't even matter. It don't even matter. Pick up the check. You supposed to.

[Ryan Reynolds]

No, I'm not. I didn't even know they were there.

[Guest 2]

Once you knew they were there, that's what you were supposed to do. You're supposed to tell a waiter that came over to you and Fonte.

[Ryan Reynolds]

Yep.

[Guest 2]

And be like, yo, listen, that couple over there, whatever they're eating, whatever they're drinking, bill it to me.

[Ryan Reynolds]

Nah, I'm cool.

[Guest 2]

I see you ain't gotta sharpen. Still sharp and still. Man, I gotta get you right?

[Ryan Reynolds]

Man, you got to talk to Loyon, because I don't have. I don't have you money to start paying for everyone's dinner.

[Guest 2]

No, I'm just saying. It ain't that. It's just, you know, it's my ex. Hey. How you doing? Good to see you.

[Ryan Reynolds]

I asked Carly to put the drinks on. On Apple's bill, so. Apple Music got this one.

[Guest 2]

Right. That's cool, though. That's cool to see your ex. She's doing good. And, you know, she's happy on a date. That's.

[Ryan Reynolds]

Yeah. And I thought it was cool, small talk. I may or may not have texted her the next day and said, hey, good running into you.

[Guest 2]

See, now he could do that, but not pick up the bill. He could do that, but not pick up the bill. I think that's crazier to do than picking up the bill.

[Ryan Reynolds]

It was good to see her.

[Guest 2]

Of course it was. But you said.

[Ryan Reynolds]

Radiant.

[Guest 2]

I'm sure you said that when you.

[Ryan Reynolds]

Saw her, the guy. No, I didn't say she was on a date. You want to be like, yo, you. Yo, you look fine.

[Guest 2]

No, no, no, no. Say, hey, good seeing you. How you doing? You good?

[Ryan Reynolds]

Oh, yeah. I mean, I did when we parted ways and when we left, my car was parked the way they were going. But that awkwardness of waiting for the elevator, sitting in the elevator, walking out of the hotel, I was like, I'm just gonna go around 7th Street.

[Guest 2]

Yeah, you got. I don't even need.

[Ryan Reynolds]

I don't even need to go.

[Guest 2]

That can't walk the same way. You cannot walk the same. Because now it looks weird. And now home about this. You about to turn around and ask you what's up?

[Ryan Reynolds]

Like, following us, like, yeah, definitely twice my size, too, but, I mean, I think I would have been fine. But, yeah, he definitely had reach. Like, on a dark Brooklyn street on. I don't know. He. He may get me.

[Guest 2]

A lot of people got reached. They ain't touching nothing. But what's good, though?

[Host 1]

Pop your shit.

[Guest 2]

What's poppin?

[Host 1]

What's poppin'?

[Guest 2]

Good, baby.

[Host 1]

D. Yeah. I got to see you this weekend. I'm great.

[Guest 2]

Yeah, you left before. Well, you went to the bathroom when I left. So we went to SummerSlam at MetLife this week, and we went to support Jade in hopes that she would win. Triple H. Fuck you. No, I can't say that. No.

[Ryan Reynolds]

I'm on stl.

[Guest 2]

Let me back that up.

[Ryan Reynolds]

Recount. I'm sorry.

[Guest 2]

I forgot who I was talking to. Triple H, I'm sorry. But Jade Cargill, she did lose her championship match to Tiffany Fix Me Stratton. Is it Stratton or Staton Stratton? Tiffany Stratton. She retained the Women's Championship, but, you know, it was good to go there and support Jade, and we had fun. I've learned that the w. First of all, that was my first time going to a wrestling event as an adult. As a kid, it's a different experience. You're a kid, you just hype happy. As a sober adult.

[Ryan Reynolds]

Yes.

[Guest 2]

Going to a wrestling, not just any wrestling event. SummerSlam. This is like. It's SummerSlam and the Royal Rumble. That's like the biggest. Probably biggest event in wwe. But to go there sober is a terrible idea. That's like walking into wrestling Internet and just trying to be a visitor. And like, you used to.

[Ryan Reynolds]

They can smell it on you.

[Guest 2]

Yeah. Like, you used to be, like, into the culture, and you left the culture for some years. Now you're trying to get back in because Jade is so beautiful and athletic. But that was not the event to be sober at. From the time I walked In, I saw 37 Hulk Hogans.

[Ryan Reynolds]

Yeah.

[Guest 2]

I saw 26 matches.

[Ryan Reynolds]

They were quoting him, too.

[Guest 2]

I saw 17 Randy Ortons. And I'm just mauled. I'm just like, oh, I was supposed to come here as a wrestler. Then you got the guys who, like, you could tell, wrestled in real life but didn't make it to wwe. But they're just waiting for a Roy Rumble to happen at the merch table.

[Ryan Reynolds]

Yeah. They take steroids for no athletic purpose.

[Guest 2]

Yeah. It's just like, all right, I'm just here to support Jade, hope that she wins. I'm not here as a fan of wrestling. I'm here as a fan of Jade.

[Ryan Reynolds]

I will say I didn't need to look at my ticket of where our seats were, because spotting you sitting by yourself was the easiest thing in MetLife history, for sure. Where we sit. I was like, I see where we're sitting. Mall in dark sunglasses just like this, by himself with a row of five empty seats.

[Guest 2]

Oh, man. It was just. Yo, it was a lot, bro. That's why I had to sit. I sat. When I walked in, they walked me to my seat, showed me the seat, and then I was like, yeah, now I'm gonna go get something to eat, some water. Like, I'm not gonna sit out here. Like. So I went to the back and was sitting in the lounge, was watching some of the matches, and then I walked out when they said that Jade's was the next match. So then I walked out to the seat and sat down. But it was just, like. It was a great experience, though. Thank you for having us. Thank you for, you know, bringing us to SummerSlam. It was dope. Yeah, but you cannot go to SummerSlam sober.

[Ryan Reynolds]

I mean, I would agree. You cannot do it. I've only been there once, and I was not sober.

[Guest 2]

You cannot. It is the worst decision. It's a hundred times worse than going to the club sober. Like, being sober in a club is probably equal.

[Ryan Reynolds]

They're probably equal.

[Guest 2]

No, no, no, no, no. That was being in that stadium and, like, just being in the middle of just fanatics. Like, that's what they are. They're fanatics. They love wrestling. On a whole different. I love wrestling, too. Haven't followed it as much as I used to as a kid, but, yeah, that was different.

[Ryan Reynolds]

I snuck pre rolls in, but because we were, like, under the WWE and they gave us tickets, like, I didn't want to, you know, New Orlean Mall get thrown out of.

[Guest 2]

And what we were saying, I would.

[Ryan Reynolds]

Have passed you the weed.

[Guest 2]

Oh, man. But we were sitting at security was right there, though. It was just too close for. For comfort. But it was. It was a dope event. I totally understand, you know, the power that WWE is watching that whole production and just, you know, the. The things that it takes to put on that type of show is incredible. So it was dope to see that, though. It was dope to see Jelly shout out to Jelly Roll. Listen, man, Jelly Roll, they gearing him up to be the next Undertaker.

[Ryan Reynolds]

That's why my voice is raspy. I was screaming, screaming for Jelly Roll.

[Guest 2]

Yo, Jelly Roll got in there, and I was just like at that point I was just like, all right, I gotta go, fellas. Like, I can't.

[Host 1]

Ma was like, all right, man, I'm.

[Guest 2]

Jade lost. My heart was broke for Jade. I was like, all right. And then Jelly Roll comes out and he's powerbomb slamming Logan Paul. I'm like, yeah, I'm gonna check out, fellas. I'm gonna go ahead and get up outta here, man. Too much.

[Ryan Reynolds]

I was so invested that the five year old that was in front of us, he looked worried when Jelly Roll went down. Like, I was like, yo, it's gonna be okay. I promise you. Jelly Roll gonna get back up. Yeah.

[Guest 2]

Jelly Roll looks great though, man.

[Ryan Reynolds]

Oh, yeah.

[Guest 2]

He lost a lot of weight getting in shape, man.

[Ryan Reynolds]

He looks spry in the ring.

[Guest 2]

He might have a few. He might have a future in wrestling. He might have a real future in the wwe.

[Ryan Reynolds]

No, that whole match was actually really fun to watch, even with Logan Paul. Like, it was entertaining.

[Guest 2]

It was definitely entertaining.

[Ryan Reynolds]

But I went in to SummerSlam the same way you did. Is not really a wrestling fan going because of Jade, but the morning before SummerSlam, I binged the entire WWE Unreal series and became fully invested in every single fight that happened that day. Yeah, like I. I don't know if. Oh, you left. When CM Punk came for my whole life, I thought CM Punk was like an EDM dj. Not somebody that has a list actor face like he should be. He looks like Jonathan Ham.

[Guest 2]

Yeah.

[Ryan Reynolds]

Like he really should be starring next to Denzel, but instead his 50 year old ass is being thrown in a ring.

[Guest 2]

Yeah. How you do it?

[Ryan Reynolds]

I was fully, fully invested in every single one of those fights. I became a full wrestling fan within a six hour day. Like screaming like, me and Cass mainly talk about our daughters. We was doing a whole recap on Sunday.

[Guest 2]

Yeah, yeah.

[Ryan Reynolds]

Of how amazing that was. I had so much fun.

[Guest 2]

Yeah, it was a dope event, man. Dope event. I was happy to finally go to SummerSlam. You know, being a fan of wrestling as a kid, it was obviously something that you wanted to go to. Never got the chance to, but definitely, definitely enjoyed myself. Never going sober though. Never doing that again. No, you cannot do that. Either you go in full costume and you go as Macho man or you stay home.

[Ryan Reynolds]

I think you should do that.

[Guest 2]

Yeah, I think I'll go as Macho Man. Next year I'll probably go as Macho Man.

[Ryan Reynolds]

I was so invested in the CM Punk fight. At one point, that same five year old that was in front of us, I was Screaming, you, Gunther. Right by his ear that I had to catch myself. I'm like, I'm screaming, you. And there's a five year old.

[Guest 2]

Yeah.

[Ryan Reynolds]

In front of me. He's okay, but I ain't with Gunther.

[Guest 2]

It's just part of the culture.

[Ryan Reynolds]

Finally got. Finally got his belt. For about 10 seconds, I was ready to go to the parking lot and celebrate and just get his ass whooped and gets his belt taken away in five seconds. Holding up a triumph. After I watched a whole Netflix series of how they've been fucking this guy for 50 years, I was like, what a great ending to a story. Like, tears in my eyes. And then here comes a briefcase of money. Which I was like, oh, he gets a cash prize, too. And cash is like, no, no. It means he's about to get his ass whooped.

[Guest 2]

Oh, they're giving him money.

[Ryan Reynolds]

I was like, oh, God.

[Guest 2]

Yeah, no, he's about to get up. Yeah.

[Ryan Reynolds]

Some of the most interesting outfits of all times, I will say. One of the more masculine sports also may be the gayest.

[Guest 2]

Wrestling.

[Ryan Reynolds]

Like, it really looks like RuPaul Drag Race in there. But fighting because of the.

[Guest 2]

Because of, like, the briefs, I thought.

[Ryan Reynolds]

They kind of got. Shouldn't have been in baby blue pumps.

[Guest 2]

Yeah.

[Ryan Reynolds]

Like, fighting.

[Guest 2]

Yeah. I like. The pants are fine. Like, the tights, the pants. Those are cool. Those are not bad. But the. When you see the wrestlers that come out with still, like, the boxer briefs that. That Hogan used to wear.

[Ryan Reynolds]

Yeah.

[Guest 2]

It's like, oh, he's like a throwback. Like, he's in here for business.

[Ryan Reynolds]

Yeah. He's not wearing drawers.

[Guest 2]

Yeah, yeah, yeah, he's in here. He means this. He bleeds and loves this wrestling. Like, give me the pants.

[Host 1]

You waxed for this.

[Guest 2]

Oh, he didn't. Oh, he didn't.

[Host 1]

Okay.

[Guest 2]

You don't know. He might have some fur showing.

[Host 1]

Oh, yeah. Okay.

[Guest 2]

I saw you tweeted that you want to be a wrestler now.

[Host 1]

Yeah, I was Damaris.

[Guest 2]

You will get your back broke. You know how fucking hard that mat is. Somebody slam you on that mat.

[Host 1]

Well, everybody has to train for something, obviously. I would have to spend years and years training. In no way, shape or form did I want anybody to think I was just going to walk in a ring and be a wrestler. But when I was watching, like, the whole, like, production of it and everything and the acting, I'm like, this is cool. Like, I feel like a lot of being a wrestler outside of being an amazing athlete is being entertaining and being a personality. And I was like, I feel like, this is something that I would be good at. I feel like I'm a little bit too old to start, but I'm like, yeah. I'm like. I feel like this is something I would be good at or I would have been good at.

[Guest 2]

I mean, Jade is a little older than you, and she just started, like, a few years ago, so you might know. You need to start, like, tomato.

[Ryan Reynolds]

No, I was gonna say, like, I need to, like, take off.

[Guest 2]

Yeah. This afternoon. You need to go to, like, to a gym and be like, y' all want to be the next WWE Champion?

[Ryan Reynolds]

There's gotta, like, a local circuit somewhere. Long Island. There has to be something.

[Guest 2]

Oh, yeah. Somebody's backyard in Long Island. Oh, yeah. Abs. Yeah, baby. Do you get on the card next weekend if you want.

[Ryan Reynolds]

No.

[Guest 2]

In Long island, watch Baby D get slammed through a picnic table. Yeah, Baby D. We gonna run into.

[Ryan Reynolds]

Like, a female Kimbo slice.

[Guest 2]

We get Baby D right on that card next week and walk right in the backyard like, yo, we got Baby D with us.

[Ryan Reynolds]

They use real picnic tables, not breakaway tables.

[Guest 2]

Yeah.

[Ryan Reynolds]

No, you have to break the table.

[Guest 2]

Yeah, this is real. These are real. This is the real deal on Long island. Definitely.

[Ryan Reynolds]

We got there a little late. We missed Cardi B. She was doing her. She premiered a song, Right. I think I saw the clip on Twitter. I just think we were late.

[Host 1]

I didn't see that.

[Ryan Reynolds]

Yeah, she came out and did a new record. I think that's, like, cool promo I got.

[Guest 2]

I think I was dealing with. I think I was in the lounge when she. She was on stage, though.

[Ryan Reynolds]

Yeah, her. And for some reason, her and Drew Ski had better seats than us. I don't know why, but, yeah, I felt a little slighted. I don't know about you.

[Host 1]

They the only ones I sent.

[Guest 2]

I sent Colin a nice DM over the weekend. I don't know if he's seen it yet, but he'll get it.

[Ryan Reynolds]

Not like, I really appreciate WWE giving us those tickets. The seats were great. Free food. Never going to complain whatsoever. But, like, we were the. In the first row that didn't have the cushion seats. It was just, like, one more, like. And we would have been a little bit more comfortable.

[Guest 2]

Those were the chairs that I thought the wrestler was going to come get to smash over somebody's head. Yeah, that's the chairs we was in. Like, I'm like, oh, yeah, I know what this is. I've seen this on tv. They could come down this little aisle right here, tell us to get the fuck up, and we Gotta get up. If Randy Orton comes over and tells you to get up, you're getting up.

[Host 1]

So what I was trying to figure out, because when we were walking out, when me and Rory were walking out, I seen people carrying chairs with WWE on them. And I immediately was like, y'. All. Like, they sell chairs as merch.

[Guest 2]

Like, they sell everything as merch.

[Host 1]

Selling the slam. Like, the. The WWE chairs as, like, merch is like, crazy, like. Cause you know them kids just gonna go in the backyard and fucking kill each other with a.

[Guest 2]

That's what you gotta do. Go home and smash it over your mom's head. That's what it's for. No, you do the dishes.

[Host 1]

I can't trust no kid that didn't grow up, like, being, like, put in, like, arm bars and all types of crazy. That's how I know about wrestling, because my cousin used to do all the moves on me and hurt me and make me cry when I was younger.

[Guest 2]

Yeah, yeah, you thought your cousin loved you until he put you in the Boston crowd.

[Ryan Reynolds]

And I feel like. And I'm glad this isn't happening now, but when we were younger, I feel like every other month on the news, some sibling was killing their sibling by accident in a wrestling move. Like, when did that stop? When iPads came out. Because I feel like there was a kid dying by accident every week.

[Guest 2]

Yeah, that's why the iPads came out. It was like, yo, we gotta stop Steve Jobs. We gotta stop this episode.

[Ryan Reynolds]

The epidemic was like, yeah, no more.

[Guest 2]

No more iPads released now. Like, yeah.

[Ryan Reynolds]

The funniest part, though, to me was when you did leave, you're discussed. Cause I believe it was Randy Orton, that Jelly Roll beat, right?

[Guest 2]

No, Randy Orton and Jelly Roll were teammates. It was Logan Paul and Drew McIntyre.

[Ryan Reynolds]

Yeah, you were like, logan Paul, just suplex Randy Orton. I'm going home.

[Guest 2]

Yeah, I was. It was just. No, it wasn't even that. It was with Jelly Roll Powerbomb, I think Logan Paul, I was like, yeah, I'm out, fellas. Like, I'm out of here, man. I can't. This is Jelly Roll. What we doing right now? Like, jelly Roll.

[Ryan Reynolds]

So entertaining.

[Guest 2]

Power bombing Logan Paul. I was like, yeah, I'm out, yo.

[Host 1]

When they were walking Jelly Roll out, I'm like, nah. The little boy was like, no, Jelly Roll. I'm like, nah, he coming back. I'm telling you. He coming back to save him. Me and Rory were full in. Full in.

[Guest 2]

I was surprised, though, to see Jelly Roll moving like that in the ring, though. Like, he really Looked like he knew. He knew what he was doing.

[Host 1]

But Jay told y' all that they have to go and train.

[Guest 2]

Yeah. No, he looked great.

[Ryan Reynolds]

He.

[Guest 2]

He lost a lot of weight. Like, he looked great. Shout out to Jelly Roll, man. That was very entertaining. I'm not. I'm not gonna lie. That was entertaining to watch. Jelly World.

[Host 1]

There's a lot of. And you know what? I'm not surprised about this, but there was a lot of new Rory and mob fan crossover with wwe. Fan crossover. Like, that's one of the places I've been approached the most. Like. Like, people were asking to take pictures with me and Rory. Like, it was crazy. I'm like, you know what? But I'm not surprised that new Roy Ma fans are wrestling fans. Like, that makes sense.

[Guest 2]

Does it?

[Host 1]

They were everywhere. Yes. Yes.

[Guest 2]

I mean, I guess so. It's part of hip hop. Wrestling is part of hip hop.

[Ryan Reynolds]

Yeah.

[Guest 2]

So I get it. Cardi B was hosting. So there you go, right there.

[Ryan Reynolds]

Yeah. Saw Rosenberg. He was working.

[Guest 2]

Yeah. Shout out to Rosenberg.

[Ryan Reynolds]

Yeah. And then I had, like, a mild panic attack trying to leave the MetLife City.

[Guest 2]

Why?

[Ryan Reynolds]

There's just too much people, and that's why I left.

[Guest 2]

When I left and.

[Ryan Reynolds]

And the people we were with just were taking too long to walk. And I. I think I smoke more weed in one sitting in that parking lot than I have in mind.

[Host 1]

Rory smoked like, a whole spliff, and it's in the. I'm like, take a breath. Just smoke.

[Guest 2]

That's why I left early. I didn't want to deal with that. I knew that. That. That leaving was going to be crazy. That's why I left. I lit. I literally got in and out. And when I got to the stadium, it had just started. Like, they had these big ass. I don't even know if they were like B52 bombers flying over the stadium. They wasn't Jets. They was, like, big.

[Ryan Reynolds]

They took their time.

[Guest 2]

Absolutely. So I got there when that happened, and when I left, literally walked out right to the car. It took me maybe not even seven minutes to get from my seat to the highway.

[Ryan Reynolds]

No, we did the let out.

[Guest 2]

Let out.

[Ryan Reynolds]

That shit was rough. But the most revealing thing was I finally found out who Josh is. Like, I finally met him.

[Guest 2]

Yes.

[Ryan Reynolds]

I've never met him before.

[Guest 2]

Right.

[Ryan Reynolds]

He. Nobody was yelling louder than Josh.

[Guest 2]

Oh, my God.

[Ryan Reynolds]

I have a video about a wrestling fan.

[Guest 2]

Yeah. No, it was like. It was. It was almost scary.

[Ryan Reynolds]

Yeah. And he would have, like, these outbursts where he'd be, like, really calm just watching and then all of a sudden, stand on his seat and scream at the top of his lungs out of nowhere.

[Guest 2]

Yeah.

[Ryan Reynolds]

Like, not even after, like, a crazy move or whatever, he would just, like, get something in his brain worked up.

[Guest 2]

It's called Tourette's is what it's called. It's called Tourette's. Word. That's exactly what that's called. Fault. Don't worry about that. I'm not diagnosed.

[Ryan Reynolds]

I know, but I like that he, you know, was opening up and being more of himself around. It definitely shocked me. Like, I. Most of the time, I was looking at Josh looking at the ring.

[Guest 2]

I have a video where I was recording Jade's match. And, like, I think she suplexed Tiffany. And all you hear is, josh, do it again. I was like, all right, fam. Like, I was like, all right, I'm gonna have to cut that part of it. I'm gonna have to cut that part out. Like you screaming in my video, bro.

[Ryan Reynolds]

But SummerSlam was not over.

[Guest 2]

As.

[Ryan Reynolds]

As I woke up today, Nicki Minaj versus DEZ Bryant happened. I don't even think they're trying to hide the simulation from us anymore.

[Guest 2]

What has happened?

[Ryan Reynolds]

The confusion I had in traffic of how this even begun.

[Guest 2]

Like, we are putting so many sentences together these days that I never thought we would hear. Putting so many people together that we. I thought we were nervous. Like, what is going on? What is happening? Cause y', all, you know, I get a lot of the news and the current shit from y' all when I come in here. What is happening with DEZ Bryant and Nikki?

[Ryan Reynolds]

Well, the first thing I saw, I got, like, I was in round six is when I realized anything was even happening. When I saw Nikki offer up her husband to fight an NFL player. Do you think she consulted with. With. With her husband before that?

[Guest 2]

Wait, she did what?

[Ryan Reynolds]

She said she would get $10 million so that Dez Bryant and her husband can fight. And I'm not saying, you know, Kenny is not who he is or not where he's from or not the past that he has. I'm just saying, DEZ Bryant is DEZ Bryant. Don't offer. I don't care. My wife, my girl, Damaris, anybody. Do Nev. Never offer me to fight DEZ Ryan. Do not do that.

[Guest 2]

But imagine, like, you sleep, because now.

[Ryan Reynolds]

I gotta fight him.

[Guest 2]

Now imagine you sleep and your wife is in the other room doing that. And then you wake up seeing that you gotta fight an NFL player. You're like, wait, what just happened? But what is all of this stemming from. Is it, like.

[Ryan Reynolds]

So I had to go back.

[Guest 2]

I'm completely lost. Like, how did we even get to DEZ and Nikki even having a conversation?

[Ryan Reynolds]

I thought she was still talking about DEZ from Roc Nation. Desiree.

[Guest 2]

Okay, all right.

[Ryan Reynolds]

Then I got really confused. Like, wait, this is DEZ Bryant.

[Host 1]

It's up for every.

[Ryan Reynolds]

DEZ is getting DEZ square.

[Guest 2]

Yo. It's getting up for any dez's. Yo, Nikki going at any DEZ is a lottery. But wait, is that part of it? Like, maybe he thought that she said something about him or.

[Ryan Reynolds]

So I went back right before we started recording. So initially, there was something about Jerry Jones and DEZ Bryant's contract where Hov negotiated that deal without being, like, a licensed NFL agent at the time. So it caused controversy or whatever. So then dez, like, just, I don't know, commented on it. And then Nikki, who has been on her tirade with Roc Nation, saw this and obviously wanted to take advantage of any Roc Nation slander.

[Guest 2]

Okay?

[Ryan Reynolds]

She says, does anyone want to play a game? And then DEZ Bryant innocently was like, I love games. Not knowing that this was about to talk about child rape, offering $10 million bounties for fights.

[Guest 2]

Okay?

[Ryan Reynolds]

Like, I. I think he thought it was just going to be a game.

[Guest 2]

Okay.

[Ryan Reynolds]

Nikki thought Otherwise. And then Dez said, Get to 10 million in cash. I'm ready now.

[Guest 2]

Well, we know. Well, it's safe to say that DEZ is ready now. He's. He probably still in. He doesn't play anymore, does he?

[Ryan Reynolds]

No.

[Guest 2]

Okay, so he's probably still. You know, he still has a workout regimen.

[Ryan Reynolds]

I'm sure DEZ Bryant is, like, up there with Cam Newton as, like, one of the most athletic people I've ever seen in my life. Like, I don't care if he's never thrown a punch. You're still going to have trouble with Des Bryant.

[Guest 2]

Absolutely. Yes.

[Ryan Reynolds]

That is a monster.

[Guest 2]

Yes. But this is just so. But how. Again, you explained everything, and I'm still confused.

[Ryan Reynolds]

I didn't say it made sense.

[Guest 2]

I was just telling you because I'm still like, how did we get here, though? Like, what is going on? Why is everybody, like, what is. Everybody's upset, everybody's mad, everybody's arguing. Like, what is going on in the world? Like, I thought everybody was supposed to be happy, healthy, and just chill.

[Host 1]

Why would you think that?

[Guest 2]

I mean, because that's just the best way to be. You know, everybody just mind your business.

[Host 1]

Nirvana.

[Guest 2]

Yeah, man. I don't know, man.

[Ryan Reynolds]

I don't know, Admittedly, don't know too much about either cases. I just don't understand how a Jerry Jones and jay Z negotiation 10 years ago led to me finding out that Dez Bryant allegedly beat up his mother. And I found out even more about the alleged rapist activities of the Minaj family. I don't think I started learning things about Nikki's brother, her dad. Like, why is DEZ Bryant telling me this?

[Guest 2]

Yeah, but I don't think. I don't think DEZ beat his mom up. I think he. His mom was abusing.

[Ryan Reynolds]

I'm saying, all alleged fans on both sides. I'm admitting I didn't even want to look further into it. Yeah, I was sitting there wondering why it was even being talked about when all we were talking about before was Jerry Jones and Juan making a deal.

[Guest 2]

Yeah, I mean, listen, man, I. Again, nothing surprises me, but this one is close. As close to being surprising as it gets. Like, I never thought I would come in here and hear that NICKI Minaj and Dez Bryan are negotiating a $10 million fight. Like, I just never thought that would be a part of our talking points. But I don't know, man. I don't know what's going on with people. I think everybody just needs to relax, you know, just. Just. Just chill, be happy. Life is beautiful. We cause a lot of issues that don't need to be caused, and we don't, you know, need to go down certain paths, but, you know, it is what it is.

[Ryan Reynolds]

But I feel like they needed to respect the audience a little bit more in this one because I was still trying to figure out how Johnny Manziel and Gilly were beefing. I wasn't even ready for Nicki. Well, I was still trying to figure out that one.

[Guest 2]

Yeah, I didn't understand that either. Johnny just jumped in that. I think he just was like, yo, I'm gonna out. And I was just like, whoa. Like, Johnny, where did that. That just came out of? You came in hot because the.

[Ryan Reynolds]

The. The Cam Newton and Gilly, I wouldn't call it a beef, but they're war of words, back and forth. Yeah, funny. Like, I mean, it hasn't gotten, in my opinion, that serious from what I've seen. Just been kind of playful slash serious banter back and forth. Yeah, I thought Cam's response was hilarious. I just. Then when Mr. Football, fucking Mr. Ohio, just comes out of left field, and it's like, y' all slap the shit outta Gilly. Like, wait, that has to be a fake. Johnny Manziel Count. No, that's a verified account. What the fuck is going on in the world?

[Guest 2]

I don't know, man. He says, yo, Gilly the Kid, you may be the biggest fucking loser on the planet, talking like you fucking done anything on the football field. If I see you just know I'm gonna slap the fuck outta you.

[Ryan Reynolds]

Trust.

[Guest 2]

Shout out to 38 special. But I don't know if I'm as surprised as that Johnny is.

[Ryan Reynolds]

I didn't look up. I thought he really said, shout out to 38 special.

[Guest 2]

No, but he said.

[Ryan Reynolds]

I was like, damn, I missed the 38.

[Guest 2]

No, but he said trust. So, you know, that's. That's. That's 38 special shit. So, you know, shout out to special. Yeah, this one. This one doesn't really surprise me because, you know, Johnny is a. He's a wild boy, man. So I don't, you know, he's sticking up for his. I guess his NFL counterpart in that regard, right? He's sticking up for Cam Newton. Like, yo, listen, don't disrespect Cam. Cam is a great athlete, great quarterback. You know, stop trying to talk. Stop talking shit about him. Stop shitting. You can kind of see why he came to.

[Ryan Reynolds]

Oh, no, no, I get, you know, that Heisman community. I'm sure they always look out for each other.

[Guest 2]

It's a fraternity. You know, a thing about that.

[Ryan Reynolds]

If one of my rappers was playfully going back and forth with somebody, I wouldn't then step in. I'm sure Cam and Johnny Manziel have had maybe three conversations in their entire life. Yeah, I'm not stepping in and saying, I'm gonna slap the shit out of you when you guys were doing playful banter.

[Guest 2]

Well, Gilly responded as Gilly. You know, Gilly ain't gonna miss a moment to respond to anybody, but Gilly responded. And he had a face full of, let's say, substance. I don't know what it was. He had a face full of substance.

[Ryan Reynolds]

Face full of substance.

[Guest 2]

He had a face full of substance. And he just was like, yo, listen, you know, Johnny, I don't know what you over there doing, but I can only guess that you must be high out your mind right now thinking that you're just gonna slap the shit outta me. Like, I don't know, man. I just. Again, we're putting sentences together, we're saying things, putting names together that I never thought would happen, man. This is what the Internet does. Brings people together. I think this one, even if we don't ask for it.

[Ryan Reynolds]

Johnny Manzel of course, is an incredible athlete. At one. One time I watched the doc. I don't know if he stayed in shape. I've seen Gilly box before. Gilly knows how to fight. I don't know how this one will go. And Johnny Manziel, obviously, if you go to the NFL, you're a top tier athlete. But they always said he was too small for the NFL anyways. Yeah, I mean, he's not that much bigger than Gilly.

[Guest 2]

Is this something that we think we'll see Logan, the Paul brothers get behind?

[Ryan Reynolds]

Well, Johnny was on that side. He said, let's set up the fight. Which I. After, I thought it was kind of weird when he just butted in and said, I'll slap the shit out of you. But once he said, like, let's actually set the fight up, I was like, I respect it. I mean, you're not just tweeting.

[Guest 2]

I mean, listen, for the. For the right. For the right. For the right payday. I mean, we know Gillian ducking it. Fight. No, Gilly, he'll get in the ring with Johnny Manziel for the right price. That's what I'm saying.

[Ryan Reynolds]

Bar stool.

[Guest 2]

But he can't throw his own boxing event, can he? Like, isn't that like kind of inside trading?

[Ryan Reynolds]

Literally, every Mayweather fight was money. Money Boy Productions or whatever this was. He was paying his opponent. That's how. That's how ill Floyd Mayweather was as a businessman. Like, he was paying his opponent. They got their check, win or lose. Well, all losses because he's undefeated, but from Floyd Mayweather llc, like, all right.

[Guest 2]

See, when the documentary come out, some years they be like, some niggas took the fall for that check. I'm just saying, you get. When you. When you are promoting the fight and paying the fighter, you leave room for that speculation. For them to be like, yo, you was paying these fighters? Like, how we know you wasn't paying them to lose? I'm just saying, you leave room for that speculation.

[Ryan Reynolds]

But we're also talking about Floyd, probably the best defensive boxer ever.

[Guest 2]

Without a doubt. Without a doubt. I'm just saying, it wouldn't surprise me if 10 years from now we get a documentary where one of the fighters that he fought come out and say, yeah, no, you know, they paid me a little extra to just, you know, take it easy.

[Ryan Reynolds]

The only time Zab almost got him, I thought that was like, one of the only fights he was gonna lose. But other than that, Mayweather's won pretty.

[Guest 2]

Zab caught him with one, and Zab caught him.

[Ryan Reynolds]

Caught him.

[Guest 2]

And Shane Mosley caught him with one as well. Shane caught him with one of the cleaner. Cleaner punches. I think that.

[Ryan Reynolds]

And Ricky hadn't In a few rounds. Kind of look like it may go the other way, but I don't know. I'm.

[Guest 2]

Manny caught him with some clean ones too. Yeah.

[Ryan Reynolds]

He didn't fight Manny when Manny was Manny. Nah.

[Guest 2]

I mean, well, you know, that's.

[Ryan Reynolds]

Manny had been laid out on the canvas three times before that.

[Guest 2]

The documentary. The documentary we'll wait to see.

[Ryan Reynolds]

Well, yeah, I'm. I can't make any sense of this. I will be ringside if Johnny Manziel and Gilly fight, though. I. I would definitely go to that fight.

[Guest 2]

That's gonna be funny to watch. That's just gonna be funny.

[Host 1]

Yeah.

[Guest 2]

Betting money on Johnny Manzilla and Gilly.

[Ryan Reynolds]

I. I would.

[Guest 2]

I would say Gilly without seeing what Johnny Manzille walks in the ring looking like. Like if he's in shape, if he's.

[Ryan Reynolds]

Like, how much time?

[Guest 2]

Two months.

[Ryan Reynolds]

Oh, I'm taking Gilly.

[Guest 2]

Okay.

[Ryan Reynolds]

But I mean, boxing is an art. Like, even if you're.

[Guest 2]

Yeah. If you're a world class fighter. Like.

[Ryan Reynolds]

Yeah. This is not the. The DEZ Bryant Kenneth fight. I'm sorry. Like in a boxing ring. Just you gotta know how to box or you will get chipped up. Like, no matter how strong you are. Two months. Nah. Gilly been boxing his whole life. Yeah.

[Guest 2]

Yeah. But Johnny is probably bigger than Gilly. We can assume yes. Yeah. Yeah. So it's not, you know, he has the advantage there. Size, strength.

[Ryan Reynolds]

I don't care how tall you are. If you've never seen an angle like.

[Guest 2]

You know, I get that. But I'm just saying size, strength.

[Ryan Reynolds]

Let Gilly swing his foot one time and give Johnny an angle he's never seen.

[Guest 2]

That's true.

[Ryan Reynolds]

I mean, I'm going Gilly.

[Guest 2]

I'll watch it though. I'll definitely tune in for that. I would definitely want to see that.

[Ryan Reynolds]

And like, I watched the Doc. Johnny was getting thrown out of house parties. Just civilian small names spitting in his face. Get the fuck out of our house party. And Johnny just leaving. Nah, he's Gilly from Philly. No, you couldn't do that with Tanner and Ohio.

[Guest 2]

Yeah. Well, back to this Jalen hurts Cam Newton thing. Now why do people. Why are people, like so upset about that? Like saying that Jalen like that Gilly said Jalen. Jalen hurts is better than Cam. I don't know if I'm on the side of that honestly, I don't know if Jalen Hurts is a better quarterback than Cam Newton.

[Ryan Reynolds]

I don't think he is. But, I mean, if someone said it, I wouldn't want to slap the shit out of them.

[Guest 2]

Now, granted, granted, Jalen Hurts won a Super bowl, but again, that goes to. Speaks to a better team. You know, that the healthy Cam got to the super bowl, didn't win it. But y' all know how I feel about it. I think Cam Newton is the greatest college football player ever, in my opinion. I don't think I've ever seen a college football play better than Cam Newton. Again, him winning that national championship with Auburn beating Alabama, I still don't know how he pulled that off with that team he had versus Alabama. Insane. He got to the super bowl, didn't win it. Didn't, you know, didn't leave with the jury.

[Ryan Reynolds]

But Cam Newton had a great professional career. What are we talking about?

[Guest 2]

No, he can't. But this is what I'm saying. I don't. Just because you want it now I get it. When you win the super bowl as a quarterback, you get to talk a little bit in the locker room with the other quarterbacks. You talk slick, you show that jewelry. It's a different. It's a different level.

[Ryan Reynolds]

All right, Derek Fisher, incredible point guard. I don't think he's better than Iverson just because he has the rings.

[Guest 2]

Yeah, but that's not a fair.

[Ryan Reynolds]

I could have said Mario Chalmers. I'm trying to find, like, Derek, a quality point guard.

[Guest 2]

But Cam Newton was in. Was league mvp.

[Ryan Reynolds]

Iverson's been that.

[Guest 2]

Yeah. Jalen Hurts was. Was he league MVP as well? Yeah.

[Ryan Reynolds]

Yes. League MVP twice, right? Or just once. They're both great. I. I just side with Cam. I really, honestly wouldn't be mad at either side, but I don't think Cam.

[Guest 2]

I think Jalen Hurts is a better quarterback than Cam Newton. I think that if we have Cam Newton and Jalen Hurts on the draft board at the same time, knowing what we know right now, like who he's taking, I just seen Cam Newton do more with less. So I'm gonna have to go with Cam Newton. No worrying.

[Ryan Reynolds]

This is a message that applies to 99% of you listening right now, because that's how many can be covered by fast and reliable service on the Boost mobile network with 99% nationwide coverage mall. I know some of them are thinking, no, I'm special. I'm the 1%. Boost Mobile's amazing network. Doesn't apply to me. I don't want to hear it because you're probably a weirdo that likes candy corn or something like that. But for the other 99% of you, listen up because Mal has something to say.

[Guest 2]

That's right, Rory. And right now when you switch to Boost Mobile, you can get the iPhone 15 with Dynamic island and a 48 megapixel main camera for 149.99. That's $149.99. For those who don't know. For the iPhone 15 on a nationwide network, I'm 99% positive, Rory. Boost Mobile just gave us all a really, really good deal. In store offer only $35 device setup fee may apply. Requires credit qualification and ID verification and activation on a $60 plan. Taxes extra 5G speeds not available in all areas.

[Host 2]

Let'S be real Life happens. Kids spill, pets shed and accidents are inevitable. Find a sofa that can keep [e-mail] starting at just $699. Our sofas are fully machine washable inside and out so you can say goodbye to stains and hello to worry free living. Made with liquid and stain resistant fabrics, they're kid proof, pet friendly and built for everyday life. Plus, changeable fabric covers let you refresh your sofa whenever you want. Need flexibility? Our modular design lets you rearrange your sofa anytime to fit your space, whether it's a growing family room or a cozy apartment. Plus, they're earth friendly and trusted by over 200,000 happy customers. It's time to upgrade to a stress free, mess proof sofa. Visit washablesofas.com today and save that's washablesofas.com offers are subject to change and certain restrictions may apply.

[Sponsor 2]

You're great at protecting your own personal information. You probably even use things like two factor authentication, strong passwords and a vpn. But as much as you try to be in control of how your information is protected, there are lots of places that also have it and they might not be as careful as you are. That's why LifeLock monitors millions of data points every second for identity threats. If your identity is stolen, a LifeLock US based restoration specialist will help solve identity theft issues on your behalf, guaranteed or your money back. Plus, all LifeLock plans are backed by the million dollar protection package, meaning LifeLock will reimburse you up to the limits of your plan. If you lose money due to identity theft. You might not be able to control how others handle your personal information, but you can help protect it with LifeLock. Save up to 40% your first year. Call 1-800-LIFELOCK and use promo code IHEART or go to lifelock.com iheart for 40% off. Terms apply.

[Ryan Reynolds]

This is an ad by BetterHelp. Are you like me? Do you go to the club sometimes just looking for sympathy? Walking around all teary eyed around a bunch of famous people and all you're asking them is hey, can you just like me? Because I'm really sad at the moment right now because of everything that's happening online. Then maybe you need better help. These days it feels like there's advice for everything. Cold plunges, gratitude, journals, screen detoxes. Because that one's very important. Because it's very odd how many people lie on the Internet. But how do you know what actually works for you? With the Internet and information overload about mental health and wellness, it can be a struggle to know what's true and what actions to take these days. Using trusted resources and talking to live therapists can get you the personalized recommendations and help you break through the noise and whatever you're going through that makes you want to lie on the Internet. As the largest online therapy provider in the world, BetterHelp can provide access to mental health professionals with a diverse variety of expertise. Talk it out with BetterHelp, our listeners get 10% off their first month at betterhelp.com Rorymol that's betterhelp.com Rorymol Lenovo is.

[Sponsor 1]

Built for creators who don't wait for inspiration. They chase it with inventive tech built in AI tools and seamless performance. Lenovo devices, powered by Intel Core Ultra processors are designed to bring your wildest ideas to life faster. That that's the power of Lenovo with Intel inside. Enjoy flexible financing, rewards on every purchase and free shipping and students get special offers when you create an [e-mail].

[Host 2]

Let'S be real life happens. Kids spill, pets shed and accidents are inevitable. Find a sofa that keep [e-mail] Starting at just $699, our sofas are fully machine washable inside and out so you can say goodbye to stains and hello to worry free living. Made with liquid and stain resistant fabrics, they're kid proof, pet friendly and built for everyday life. Plus changeable fabric covers let you refresh your sofa whenever you want. Neat flexibility. Our modular design lets you rearrange your sofa anytime to fit your space whether it's a growing family room or a cozy apartment. Plus, they're earth friendly and trusted by over 200,000 happy customers. It's time to upgrade to a stress free mess proof sofa. Visit washablesofas.com today and save that's washablesofas.com offers are subject to change and certain restrictions may apply.

[Sponsor 2]

You're great at protecting your own personal information. You probably even use things like two factor authentication, strong passwords and a vpn. But as much as you try to be in control of how your information is protected, there are lots of places that also have it and they might not be as careful as you are. That's why LifeLock monitors millions of data points every second for identity threats. If your identity is stolen, a LifeLock US based restoration specialist will help solve identity theft issues on your behalf, guaranteed or your money back. Plus, all LifeLock plans are backed by the million dollar protection package, meaning LifeLock will reimburse you up to the limits of your plan if you lose money due to identity theft. You might not be able to control how others handle your personal information, but you can help protect it with Lifelock. Save up to 40% your first year. Call 1-800-LIFELOCK and use promo code iheart or go to lifelock.com iheart for 40% off terms apply.

[Sponsor 1]

Lenovo is built for creators who don't wait for inspiration. They chase it with inventive tech built in AI tools and seamless performance. Lenovo devices powered by Intel Core Ultra processors are designed to bring your wildest ideas to life faster. That's the power of Lenovo with Intel inside. Enjoy flexible financing, rewards on every purchase and free shipping. And students get special offers when you create an [e-mail].

[Guest 1]

This episode is brought to you by Navy Federal Credit Union. Navy Federal can help you find and finance the right vehicle with ease. And this summer you're in the driver's seat with savings. You can get a $250 bonus when you buy your next car through Navy Federal's car buying service. Powered by TrueCar and financed with Navy Federal, with this tool you can find the vehicle that's right for you as you search through inventory and compare models. And you could get an amazing rate when you finance with Navy Federal. Navy Federal strives to support all active duty veterans and their families to achieve their personal and financial goals. And this partnership with TrueCar is one of the many tools Navy Federal uses to help its members make your plan with Navy Federal and TrueCar Today Navy Federal Credit Union to qualify for the $250 bonus, car purchase and financing must be completed by September 2, 2025. Terms and conditions apply and are available at navyfederal.org TrueCar Credit and Collateral, subject to approval. Navy Federal is insured by NCUA.

[Ryan Reynolds]

Okay, who do you think is better, DJ Quick or Dr. Dre? Black Thoughter Jay Z. This has been a wild week. Like, quiet is kept. Because we had so much fun this weekend, we didn't discuss how insane the Internet has been in the last five, six, seven days.

[Guest 2]

I will say this. I, I, I the with the in regards to the DJ Quick Dr. Dre thing, because I did see somebody tweeted the art of dialogue page tweeted, DJ Quick reacts and agrees with a fan who says he's legendary producer. Everyone thinks Dr. Dre is. So somebody says DJ Quick is actually who everyone thinks Dr. Dre is. And Quick responded with, finally, someone had the balls to say it.

[Ryan Reynolds]

I thought Quick and Dre were in a good place. Now, I know there's been some ups and downs, but I thought everything was all good now.

[Guest 2]

You can still be in a good place. And just when somebody says something that I think a lot of the industry, a lot of artists, a lot of other producers have known to be true.

[Ryan Reynolds]

But just like on Twitter. Yeah, but that felt like resent. Like, you don't do that unless you, like, dislike that person. It wasn't like in an interview where some. We were having a healthy music debate, and Quick was like, yo, I don't think I get my problem. Because DJ Quick is a legend and the reason why the west coast sound even sounds the way it sounds.

[Guest 2]

Incredibly underrated. Yeah, incredibly underrated. So I think engineering someone has the balls to say it part was kind of like, okay, so you've been waiting for somebody to say that. That's what it feels like. That's what it reads as. Okay. You've been waiting for somebody to finally say what a lot of people behind the scenes have been saying for years and have had conversations about when you say better, okay, Dr. Dre probably is credited with more hit records, right? More classic albums. But then you get to the conversation of how much of that is credited to Dre that he actually did versus Quick. I told you. Funny story Hop always says about DJ Quick is he's the only guy I've ever been in the studio with who I've seen touch every knob on the soundboard. Literally touched every single now.

[Ryan Reynolds]

And you know, he built that equipment, too.

[Guest 2]

Yeah, yeah. You've been in the studio. Do you know how many knobs Hop said, yo, I was in the studio with Quick. He touched every knob on the soundboard.

[Ryan Reynolds]

Yeah, I have Been in studios where full orchestras were playing and every single line knob was attached to every single instrument. And they were still only using one or two.

[Guest 2]

Exactly.

[Ryan Reynolds]

They didn't need the other 17 above it. Like, it made beautiful lights.

[Guest 2]

Yeah, but you like. But to see somebody. I mean, I think that Quick probably is alluding to, you know, people say Dr. Dre has a lot of ghost producers. A lot of things he hasn't produced but has his name on is just him having some younger, hungrier guys in the studio. And then, you know, they just want to work and get paid for it. They don't care if they get credited for it. That's been the talk for some years.

[Ryan Reynolds]

I hear my thing, like, all right. Yes. Dr. Dre has definitely collabed with other producers, for sure. Like, still Dre, he's one of my favorite Dre beats, but that's Scott Storch on the piano. But, like, I don't think that's a bad thing. Dre has proven that he is a legend by himself as well, 100%. So I always find that those types of stats when you're having these debates, kind of weird. Like, so what was Dre supposed to do? You shouldn't grow his sound and, like, work with other people. Dre has proven to you he can do this by himself.

[Guest 2]

Yeah.

[Ryan Reynolds]

Now, the rapper conversation, I'm not even having that one. This is just strictly production.

[Guest 2]

Yeah.

[Ryan Reynolds]

Now, would Dre's sound be the same if DJ Quick never existed? That's a conversation I think that could be had here and is should be credited to DJ Quick. I don't think we get the Dre sound without DJ Quick setting the tone of what the west coast sound was.

[Guest 2]

Yeah.

[Ryan Reynolds]

At the time. Now, better not. Dre's just had a longer career with. With bigger artists. Like, unfortunately, that is also a stat to me as well.

[Guest 2]

Absolutely.

[Ryan Reynolds]

Like global music. Absolutely. I know. I'm sorry. Dre is better, but I don't think he's Dre without Quick.

[Guest 2]

I think you definitely need DJ Quick in order to have a doctor dream. I think, you know, people who don't know DJ Quick, don't know his work, don't know what he's done in the industry. Please go do your homework on him. You probably be very surprised to notice some of your favorite songs he produced. Now, when you say better, I think that's. That comes down to taste.

[Ryan Reynolds]

If we go with what you prefer.

[Guest 2]

Things like that, like, you know, that's for people to always argue, like, I can't tell you what you're supposed to like. But I'm just going from a, you know, just. Just a producer standpoint, I do feel like DJ Quick is definitely underrated as a producer. Yeah, he doesn't get. He doesn't get talked about enough. When we start talking about legendary producers in hip hop, in music, we don't talk about DJ Quick enough. So I do understand, you know, why he may feel away because he kind of gets overlooked a lot. Not kind of. He gets overlooked a lot. When it comes to conversations in the culture about the greatest producers of all time, DJ Quick name needs to be in those conversations a lot more.

[Ryan Reynolds]

Yeah. Like, I mean, do I think Premiere would say Marley Moore probably, like, inspired him? Sure. But I think Freem's better.

[Guest 2]

Yeah.

[Ryan Reynolds]

But Marley's still a legend, and Havoc's drums wouldn't sound the same if it wasn't for him. Like, he, he's just like the genesis of the whole thing. So you have to give him that credit. But I mean, Drake took it get to a way different level from R B to pop to hip hop. Like, it's Dr. Dre.

[Guest 2]

Yeah.

[Ryan Reynolds]

Like, I don't really know what to tell you now. In the same breath, Will I am. Was he promoted? What is Will I am doing?

[Guest 2]

I don't know, man. I, I, it just, it. I just always laugh whenever people find a way to mention Jay Z's name, like jb, and this is how, you know, and, and sometimes you just got to step back and just look at the common fact in a lot of these conversations and debates. There's a reason why they always go to Jay's name. I think it's because we all know that, yes, Jay Z is the greatest rapper of all time. Anytime you start talking about who's better than who, they're always gonna say, some, some, somebody's better than Jay Z. Because Jay Z is the bar. I think we all know that, whether you wanna recognize that or not. I mean, Jay Z is the greatest rapper of all time. You can have your preference of who you like, and Black Thought is amazing. But to say for Will I am to say that Black Thought is a trillion times better rapper than Jay Z. I mean, come on, Will, I am like, I get it. Black Thought is. He's on our alien list, 100% incredible MC, incredible rapper. Jay is, I'm sure, is a huge fan of Black Thought, has worked with him before. Like, you know, he has respect, a ton of respect for him. But when you say a trillion times, like, that's just now, you're just, you know, that's when. Cause you can say I think Black Thought is a better rapper than Jay Z. And I don't think that that stings as much as he's a trillion times better rap. That's like sounding like Jay is what, he's a dog rapper or something?

[Ryan Reynolds]

Like, the funniest part of his statement was when he was like, don't get me wrong, Jay is dope. Like, oh, thanks. Thanks, Will.

[Guest 2]

Yeah, like we needed that confirmation. Like, okay, glad you said it.

[Ryan Reynolds]

I know. I think Jay Z is dope. Yeah, but he's trillion times worse than fucking Black Thought.

[Guest 2]

Right?

[Ryan Reynolds]

I. How do you gauge then his top five rappers? Rakim, Big Daddy Kane, KRS1, Nas, Black Thought. Not mad at this list whatsoever. That's your preference. All right, so we're just talking rap, rap, rap, rapperty rap. I still think Jay and Black Thought are comparable there, but are we adding in all the other factors too? Black Thought does have hits. I'm not saying he doesn't. That was callback to Will.

[Guest 2]

I got it. I got what you was doing there.

[Ryan Reynolds]

What are we talking about again?

[Guest 2]

Preference and taste is all, you know, that's who you are. I'm not, you know, Will I am is a, a, is a, is a, is a legendary musician artist. You know what I'm saying? Like, he, he knows what he likes. He knows a lot more about music than I probably do. So I'm not arguing his taste level.

[Ryan Reynolds]

He does.

[Guest 2]

Yeah. I'm not arguing his taste level.

[Ryan Reynolds]

But then anyone in this room combined.

[Guest 2]

Yeah, I'm not, I'm not. I'm not arguing Will I Am's taste level. It's just the trillion times better that I'm just like that. Just. You. You gotta understand how that just smells and feels like disrespect to Jay Z.

[Ryan Reynolds]

And let's not act like all of us haven't held a bit of resentment towards Will I Am for the last 15 years there. There was a time he was quietly ruining music.

[Guest 2]

Well, I am.

[Ryan Reynolds]

And I think he's a legendary producer. I think he's an incredible musician. I think he's. He's one of the ones from our generation. But when he started doing that watered down electronic pop music with Black Eyed Peas, I mean, I resented him the same way I resented Nori for reggaeton. Like, you were so good. And like now, now I have this. That's just spilling over into every genre of music. I don't even think we get to the Ron Browse era without Will. I Am making pop music sound that awfully electronic. That was like when they were doing let's Get In Here is when I think music took a shift. Pop music specifically. And had to get saved around 2010. It was so fucking bad. I'm not saying what the Black Eyed Peas was doing bad. The result of everyone trying to copy that awful sound.

[Guest 2]

Yeah.

[Ryan Reynolds]

Oh my God. Pop was so fucking.

[Guest 2]

I mean he gave us one of the greatest New Year songs ever though. I got a feeling that tonight's gonna be a good night. You can't bring in a new year without turning that on. It's not even a new year if you don't listen to that. That.

[Ryan Reynolds]

I'd probably leave that party. Probably through the balcony exit.

[Guest 2]

I'm taking the window. I'm taking the window.

[Ryan Reynolds]

If that were to play at midnight, that'd probably be. This was my last year. I knew. Yeah.

[Guest 2]

Yeah. I'll take the window.

[Ryan Reynolds]

I mean it's going to sound like Hater. Cuz the Black IPS are legendary and they have a great catalog.

[Guest 2]

Yeah. But Will I am. You got.

[Ryan Reynolds]

When he got. Then he had that song with him and Nikki. It was just getting to a weird place. With Will I Am that one of the futuristic. Anytime an artist tries to do their space futuristic phase is usually when I check out.

[Guest 2]

Yeah.

[Ryan Reynolds]

And all of our. Our favorite producers have probably tried that.

[Guest 2]

Well, I am. You can't say that Black Thought is a trillion times better rapper than Jay Z. You can't say that. That's just disrespectful. That's. That's definitely. That was intended with disrespect. And he knows that. You can't say a trillion times. You can't. That's just disrespectful.

[Ryan Reynolds]

Is there. Do we think there's something there or.

[Guest 2]

Will I am Jay Z. Yeah.

[Ryan Reynolds]

We're all guilty of holding on to things.

[Guest 2]

It seems like it's something there with Everyone knows I am Jay Z. Like it's something there. Jay Z has ruined everybody's lives as far as everybody is concerned. Like Jay Z is the reason why everybody either doesn't have a platinum record, either doesn't have a successful relationship, either doesn't have a successful sports franchise. Like Jay Z is the reason behind everyone's failures. So it seems if you let people.

[Ryan Reynolds]

Tell it, there's got to be something. Did he sign Fergie or something?

[Guest 2]

No. No. But then again, I don't know.

[Host 1]

Maybe it could just be his opinion.

[Ryan Reynolds]

No, I know, but your opinion.

[Guest 2]

You can't say A trillion times better.

[Host 1]

People tend to exaggerate.

[Guest 2]

Yeah, but that's disrespect. You can't. You can't do that when it comes to Jay Z as the rapper. You can't disrespect Jay like that.

[Ryan Reynolds]

We've all been podcasting and doing media long enough to know when somebody says something, there's something that we don't know that's attached to it. Yeah, like you don't just say that.

[Guest 2]

Yeah.

[Ryan Reynolds]

There's got to be some history shit. There's something that nobody knows. It was maybe only them to know. Maybe Jay passed on a record. That there has to be something. Yeah, he said he was going to do a feature, didn't do it.

[Guest 2]

Yeah, there's.

[Ryan Reynolds]

There's always something. I promise.

[Guest 2]

There's always something behind the words that people say.

[Ryan Reynolds]

And I totally get why people always say. I'm sure everything always has to do with a woman. That's usually why men beef. You're not wrong. But there are also fragile male ego shit. Like, you said you was gonna do a feature for me, and then you didn't. And I didn't even look into what was going on in your life. Like, maybe he had a death in the family, but you just holding on to resentment because you just think this person played you.

[Guest 2]

Yeah, I can see that. Either way, I mean, I like Black Thought. Well, I love Black Thought as a rapper in the mc. One of my favorites, for sure. But. But obviously to me and to many others, I think it is clear that Jay Z is the greatest rap of all time.

[Ryan Reynolds]

I mean, I'm. Listen, I'm just happy that Jay did pass on any electronic feature in the mid 2000s with black eyed Peas.

[Guest 2]

Me too.

[Ryan Reynolds]

Because then we got it with Hot Toddy.

[Guest 2]

You love that.

[Ryan Reynolds]

Oh, Kim Wasabi.

[Guest 2]

You love that. You love Hot Toddy on the low. That. On the low.

[Ryan Reynolds]

That's probably why Will I am is pissed off because he went and did that. Like, all right, man.

[Guest 2]

You could have done this 10 years ago. Yeah, you could have gave me a verse for sure.

[Ryan Reynolds]

That's funny. Well, also, in other insane that's been happening the last few days, I walked into the studio and Josh and Peach informed me that Jason Lee and Tiffany Hadish had a baby. So congrats is to them. I think that's amazing. Hope it was a healthy pregnancy.

[Guest 2]

Jason Lee, Tiffany Hadish did not have no baby, man.

[Ryan Reynolds]

But what's going on with the simulation?

[Guest 2]

That's. Yeah, Jay, this is a. First of all, this is AI.

[Ryan Reynolds]

It Looks AI to me. This is.

[Guest 2]

This is AI. Even if it's not, it's AI. But no, Tiffany Haddish did not have a baby with Jason.

[Ryan Reynolds]

Okay, all right, then I want to know who aied it. Like, where did you get that in your head?

[Guest 2]

No, I think this is just Jason Lee, you know, knowing how the Internet works, and just ran into Tiffany and her baby and just, you know, took a picture and just, you know, people. I did. Did either one of them say that, or did people just.

[Ryan Reynolds]

It's a collab post from both of their accounts.

[Guest 2]

Oh, Jason Lee. And he said, cats out the bag. Oh, this is Jason Lee. He knows how to play with the Internet.

[Ryan Reynolds]

Of course.

[Guest 2]

Yeah. He's not saying they have a baby. He just said the cats out the bag. Like, that's all he said.

[Ryan Reynolds]

But, I mean, I don't know what it could. It could be true.

[Guest 2]

Yeah. They wearing. Mike. She. She. They probably. He probably had an interview with her. Is Tiffany and Common still together?

[Ryan Reynolds]

That was the first thing I said. I. I thought they, like.

[Guest 2]

Well, first we need to understand, find out if that's true. But that's. That's the bottom line, is Jason Lee and Tiffany Haddish did not have a baby.

[Ryan Reynolds]

But why is that so crazy to say? I could see it. He's into politics now. Nuclear family looks good on the campaign trail.

[Host 1]

Okay.

[Guest 2]

So does the gay family.

[Host 1]

Okay.

[Guest 2]

Gay family probably looks better on the trail now than the nuclear family.

[Ryan Reynolds]

But you could Brady Bunch this and get. Check every box.

[Guest 2]

Yeah, that's true.

[Ryan Reynolds]

Bring Common back.

[Guest 2]

She's not with Common. They're not dating anymore. Okay? So I was rooting for them. You were not rooting for Tiffany.

[Ryan Reynolds]

I thought about it. Like, you could constantly post a picture, so I know.

[Guest 2]

I couldn't sleep. I couldn't sleep until I knew they were together or not. But, yeah, no, this is Jason Lee. Just having fun with the Internet.

[Ryan Reynolds]

Nah. But you've never had, like, a pregnancy pact with a girl before, like, when you were younger. Yeah, there was a girl in, like, my early 20s. We're both like, yo, if we're 35 and both single, like, you know, I'll nut in a cup, and we'll just be cool parents.

[Guest 2]

Nut in the cup. It's kind of like a pup cup at Starbucks. Same thing. Yeah.

[Host 1]

Oh, Mom.

[Guest 2]

What?

[Ryan Reynolds]

I'm mad. You said it's the same thing.

[Guest 2]

Same thing.

[Ryan Reynolds]

It's not the same.

[Guest 2]

They go crazy over it. Like, dogs know.

[Ryan Reynolds]

Dogs licking.

[Guest 2]

Dogs know. When you pull into Starbucks, they know. They just know where they're at.

[Ryan Reynolds]

So if I went to the clinic, basically would lose her mind. Oh, no one is like, oh, this is just like, Starbucks.

[Guest 2]

Yeah. No, she lose her mind. She want to leave the clinic. Yeah. I don't think that. I don't think that Jason Lee and Tiffany Ice Had a baby. No, actually, I know they didn't. This is just.

[Ryan Reynolds]

Okay, Tell me about your pregnancy pack. Well, I'm still cool with the girl. We had a pregnancy pack, but she has a. A boyfriend now.

[Guest 2]

I had a pregnancy pack. I ain't gonna lie. I had probably about nine pregnancy packs.

[Ryan Reynolds]

Oh, he was one of them.

[Guest 2]

I owe, like, nine babies. I ain't gonna lie. I definitely owe nine kids.

[Ryan Reynolds]

What happens when they come back for their day?

[Guest 2]

No, no, some of them. Some of them have. Have. Have had, like, kids already, but, like, it's probably, like, four that are, like, probably quietly still waiting but don't want to tell me. Yeah, but it's not gonna happen. Y' all could go ahead and have a baby.

[Ryan Reynolds]

I mean, it's. I mean, it's too late for me now, because I feel like having a child. I was about to say the real way. Having a child.

[Guest 2]

The real way, the way God intended.

[Ryan Reynolds]

I feel like then you can't.

[Guest 2]

God didn't intend for people to have babies like this.

[Ryan Reynolds]

Like, after having a child, I would feel very awkward, like, just nutting in a cup to give to a friend because we said that we agreed to this.

[Guest 2]

Wait, is that how you was going to do it? You wasn't, like, have sex with her?

[Ryan Reynolds]

No, we were. It was a friend pregnancy pack.

[Guest 2]

Yeah, but. Yeah, but you gotta have sex with your friend.

[Ryan Reynolds]

Oh, I didn't think of it that way.

[Guest 2]

You didn't think of it?

[Ryan Reynolds]

I'll shoot. I'll shoot her a text.

[Guest 2]

And you know what's crazy? I know somebody text you when you actually had a baby and was like, you lied.

[Ryan Reynolds]

Nah. No.

[Guest 2]

Somebody. One of your pregnancy packs definitely text me like, you lied.

[Ryan Reynolds]

My. My. My loose ends of. Of life were well tied up by the time Amara was born. Thank God.

[Guest 2]

Yeah.

[Ryan Reynolds]

Because I not sure there's plenty of people that, when they announce their pregnancy to the world, don't have everything tied up, and they're at the hospital getting crazy text messages.

[Guest 2]

But all jokes aside, what if this is real, though? Like, what if Jason Lee and Tiffany Haddish did really have a baby together? I hope you don't hope that they had a baby together.

[Host 1]

No, I wasn't gonna say that. I said I was gonna hope I hope that, you know, everything works out. I guess they're doing it as friends. I hope everything works out. I know that can be a messy situation if it goes wrong.

[Guest 2]

Let me tell you something. If Jason Lee and Tiffany Haddish.

[Host 1]

I'm being positive, bro.

[Guest 2]

What? The simulation is glitching. Like, there's people doing that just ain't supposed to be done at this point.

[Ryan Reynolds]

Okay. I mean, this. Respectfully. How old is Tiffany? Tiffany's getting up there. Up there with. With age, where you have to get to. She's not old for the earth, but, you know, for childbirth.

[Host 1]

Jesus Christ. Yeah.

[Ryan Reynolds]

Sometimes 45. Yeah. You know, and Jason Lee is gay, but I'm sure still wants kids like this. That would make total sense to me. How many kids.

[Guest 2]

I hate when you make sense, man.

[Ryan Reynolds]

Common is in anytime. I see comedies like Break Dancing or Freestyling in New Orleans. Like, yeah, maybe Tiffany had ultimatum, like, I need a baby or we're done. And then she went to Jason Lee to cry on his shoulder because that's a friend. And he was like, well, yo, like, I. I don't like vagina, so I can't, like, have a kid. So how about you just take my. My sperm?

[Guest 2]

I don't see Jason Lee doing that.

[Host 1]

I do. I see Jason Lee doing it for sure.

[Ryan Reynolds]

And really. And the kid's name is probably Beyonce.

[Host 1]

Nah. Rihanna.

[Guest 2]

Yeah. I don't see Jason Lee doing that. I'm on the side that this is just Jason Lee with the Internet. I don't think this is real. Not saying it can't be. Not saying that. They. Again, they didn't make a pregnancy pact and they're friends and this, that, and the third. Like, I get all of that. I just don't. I think this is more just Jason Lee just fucking around with the Internet.

[Ryan Reynolds]

Damaris, do you have someone in your life that would be good for a pregnancy pack if it were to get there? Who's your. Who's your tallest friend? We gotta think. We have to think genes here. Sydney Sweeney taught me that. You have to have good genes.

[Host 1]

I don't even. I don't even think I have any tall friends. I'm not gonna lie. I don't even have any tall friends. I made pregnancy packs before, though.

[Ryan Reynolds]

Serious ones or, like, just. We just talking and talk.

[Host 1]

Yeah, me and one of my old homeboys said that we would, like, adopt a child if we never ended up having one.

[Guest 2]

That's not a pregnancy. Pregnancy pack.

[Host 1]

Somebody pregnant. Who said that had to be me?

[Guest 2]

What is she talking.

[Host 1]

But I do. I do.

[Ryan Reynolds]

She's walking by the hospital. They pregnant.

[Host 1]

I have made a pregnancy pregnancy pack with one of one of my homeboys. So.

[Guest 2]

To adopt or. Actually to have a kid.

[Host 1]

Yeah, to have a kid.

[Guest 2]

Okay.

[Host 1]

I think we have like, five years left on it.

[Guest 2]

That should expire in five years. All right.

[Host 1]

Yeah. So in five. No, in five years, if we're not in relationships where we feel like we will be having a kid soon, then we'll just have a kid with each other.

[Guest 2]

Okay, I respect that.

[Ryan Reynolds]

Are you guys gonna. Or is it coming a cup?

[Host 1]

Cup.

[Ryan Reynolds]

Okay. See, I told you.

[Guest 2]

That's the.

[Ryan Reynolds]

I'm not weird for not wanting to my friend to get her pregnant. So how all packs work? Because at this point, like, you're right.

[Guest 2]

That'S not how all pack.

[Ryan Reynolds]

Because if you.

[Guest 2]

She's lying, though. I just want y' all to know that she.

[Ryan Reynolds]

I just feel like if, you know, if you be down to me in 10 years, we might as well just right now. That's why I find that odd. Like, if we weren't already, I assume that I'm just gonna come in a cup. Yeah, because if you're scheduled to me in 10 years, just get it out the way now.

[Host 1]

Yeah. Like, why is our first time we trying to, like, conceive for, like, Aunt Rory's standpoint?

[Guest 2]

Yeah, but I mean, if you making a pregnancy pact, I just think that, you know, if y' all both are healthy and able to have kids, like, you would have intercourse.

[Ryan Reynolds]

You just. All right, we stumbled on the topic here. All right, let's say y' all never had sex, but you want to do it in the way good white Christians think you should do it? What's that? Sex. Like, are you just putting your dick in and, like, want to come, or are you, like, trying to show out before you get her pregnant?

[Guest 2]

You slamming you putting her through the mattress.

[Ryan Reynolds]

But it's supposed to just be for her to get pregnant. Like, we not to.

[Guest 2]

Yeah, no, yeah, but I want.

[Host 1]

I want my kid to come from, like, a good story. Like, I don't want, like, It's a great story. My kid to come from, like, some mid sex. That'll piss me off. Like, now you a mid nigga.

[Guest 2]

That's not how that. It doesn't transfer.

[Host 1]

Mid ass kid. Like, I don't want that.

[Ryan Reynolds]

So. So you feel like your pops was blowing your mom's back out when you was born?

[Host 1]

You cool.

[Ryan Reynolds]

I'm just going off your. Because I think you're a dope.

[Guest 2]

Your logic.

[Ryan Reynolds]

Yeah.

[Host 1]

No, they went crazy. Fireworks.

[Guest 2]

Yeah. Through the mattress. There you go.

[Host 1]

They told my parents, told me how I got conceived, though. I actually got conceived on the 4th of July in the shower after a hot day.

[Ryan Reynolds]

So definitely mid sex.

[Host 1]

Just cause you don't got that talent don't mean anybody else don't.

[Ryan Reynolds]

I hate shower sex.

[Guest 2]

Fourth of July, in the shower, after.

[Host 1]

It was a really hot day.

[Guest 2]

Okay. I gotta ask my mom how I was. Like, I never had that conversation with me.

[Ryan Reynolds]

You don't need to.

[Guest 2]

Yeah.

[Ryan Reynolds]

It's not gonna change much.

[Host 1]

Well, you don't gotta give me, like. Don't give me, like, positions. But, like, you can say, like, hey, it was this day. This is what was going on.

[Guest 2]

Okay.

[Ryan Reynolds]

Well, I mean, you would. There's only so many shower sex positions, so you probably.

[Host 1]

Thank you.

[Ryan Reynolds]

Narrow it down.

[Host 1]

I wasn't trying to narrow it down. Thank you so much. Yeah. Moving forward.

[Ryan Reynolds]

Amara was missionary.

[Guest 2]

That's why Baby D smells so good. She was born, she was created in.

[Ryan Reynolds]

The shower, so she always smells like lavender.

[Guest 2]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. I get it. Now it makes sense why you always smell good. Baby D. Okay. She was conceived in the shower lotion. Yeah. It's dove all over in the DNA. I get it. Yeah.

[Ryan Reynolds]

Radiant, skinny, and I totally understand.

[Guest 2]

Yeah.

[Host 1]

A lot of these was conceived in a subway because.

[Guest 2]

Yeah. Some of these were conceived in a hallway.

[Ryan Reynolds]

That's it. I was in a Tampa hotel. So what?

[Guest 2]

Who am I to say, oh, that's tan. Your skin, lovely.

[Ryan Reynolds]

No, no, no. Amara was conceived in a Tampa hotel. I don't know how I was conceived. I didn't know my. I didn't even know my parents liked each other. He was like, how did y' all even.

[Guest 2]

I can't even see.

[Ryan Reynolds]

I know. I came her and y' all had, like, y' all known each other, but, like, what the.

[Guest 2]

That is funny, man.

[Ryan Reynolds]

Yeah.

[Guest 2]

The.

[Ryan Reynolds]

The thought of having my parents having sex doesn't gross me out. It. It's just, like. Can't see it.

[Guest 2]

Yeah.

[Ryan Reynolds]

No way they'd even be in the same room together.

[Guest 2]

Yo, it's funny when you think your parents absolutely hate each other. Like, how did I happen? Like, how did I happen?

[Ryan Reynolds]

Like, at. At what time was this good?

[Guest 2]

What year did y' all like each other? Like, in order to have me? What year was that? And what did that look like? Cause right now, y' all absolutely hate each other.

[Ryan Reynolds]

I mean, it was at the tail end of the 80s coke shit, you know, because I'm. I'm 90.

[Guest 2]

Yeah.

[Ryan Reynolds]

So I think. I think Once they, like, tried to sober up, it was just we. Yeah, we liked each other. Because of the powder Partying.

[Guest 2]

Yeah, because of the powder.

[Host 1]

Post powder clarity is crazy.

[Guest 2]

It was the powder that brought us together. Yeah.

[Ryan Reynolds]

You know, my mom had to be sober when she was pregnant, so.

[Guest 2]

Yeah.

[Ryan Reynolds]

She started to get a clear mind. Well, yes. I think it's odd that the pregnancy pack. You would dog her out, like having foreplay before your pregnancy pack. Pregnancy to me is just funny. It's like you're here to just create.

[Guest 2]

Yeah. It's kind of awkward. It's kind of. Look how we saying it's all good. That's what sex is supposed to be for. It's supposed to be to create life. And we like, yo, that's awkward that y' all trying to have a baby. That's crazy.

[Ryan Reynolds]

I mean, how many times do you think it would take? Because then if you go that route now, you gotta keep your friend.

[Guest 2]

Yeah.

[Ryan Reynolds]

Because it. As easy as it is to get pregnant, it is also very difficult to get pregnant.

[Guest 2]

Yeah. You.

[Ryan Reynolds]

The.

[Host 1]

That bitch's boyfriends worry about me. Yeah.

[Guest 2]

Why?

[Host 1]

Because look how you think you like. Yeah, you gotta keep your friend. That's your friend.

[Guest 2]

But if we having a baby, like, and she gotta be trying to have a baby, she. I'm trying to get her pregnant. Like, we gotta keep having sex until she's pregnant. Why would somebody. This is my friend that I made a pact with. Like, she's not in a relationship with somebody else, and I'm doing that. Like, me and my friend made a pact years ago. Now we're making good on the pack. We're trying to have a baby.

[Host 1]

How would you feel if your girlfriend told you that she had a pregnancy pact with somebody?

[Guest 2]

Go be with him. What you with me for? You got a pack with somebody else.

[Ryan Reynolds]

You've broken nine packs before. Yeah, but, I mean, they were not serious whatsoever.

[Guest 2]

No, but it was.

[Ryan Reynolds]

Why would that bother you?

[Guest 2]

No, but that the pack is. If we're not with anybody at this age and in life, we don't have any kids. Will we have one together?

[Ryan Reynolds]

Yeah. The pregnancy pact is actually more for the desperation of. I just get along with this person and I want to have.

[Guest 2]

I like this person. Yeah, it's a good person. I think you'll be.

[Ryan Reynolds]

So that doesn't mean if you're like, if your girl had one of those, but now she's with you, she's with somebody she wants to date, fuck, and then have kids with.

[Guest 2]

Yeah.

[Ryan Reynolds]

So why would it be weird if she had a pregnancy pack with somebody else.

[Guest 2]

Cause it's just like, yo, you told somebody like that because the pussy's on layaway at that point, right? Like. Like, your friend is somewhere hoping we don't work out.

[Ryan Reynolds]

That's what the president searching for a woman for him to have kids with.

[Guest 2]

He hoping you don't work out so he could hit that.

[Host 1]

That's terrible.

[Ryan Reynolds]

I can honestly say in the pregnancy pack that we were fake serious about the energy of that. Was not hoping it worked out. We were.

[Guest 2]

But don't do that.

[Ryan Reynolds]

We were hoping that we would never be in that situation. But we were like, he had a real.

[Guest 2]

Like, if you have a pregnancy pact with somebody, Demaris, you've thought about having sex with that person before.

[Host 1]

The person that I originally met, the first person I made my pregnancy pact with. No, we had never considered it. We just were, like, young and just like, yo, we not finding love. Like, we want kids eventually. Fuck it. Like, we just gonna.

[Guest 2]

So wait, you made a pregnancy pact with somebody that you're not attracted to and you never thought about having sex with?

[Host 1]

No, because we were going to either adopt or like. Like, do, like, surrogacy.

[Guest 2]

So you're not attracted to the person you have a pregnancy pack with?

[Host 1]

No, the current one I have one with. I mean, he cool.

[Guest 2]

I don't. I think y' all capping.

[Ryan Reynolds]

Oh, no. I would have that girl.

[Guest 2]

This is what I'm saying. Of course you would have.

[Ryan Reynolds]

Well, I mean, obviously, if I'm doing a pregnancy pack outside of us being friends and cool, I like. I want good genes. I'm gonna find somebody that's. Yeah, she's attractive.

[Guest 2]

She's.

[Ryan Reynolds]

She's intelligent.

[Guest 2]

Yeah. Yeah. That's what I'm saying. You've thought about driven.

[Ryan Reynolds]

So the thought has a career, Right?

[Guest 2]

So the thought about a. Thought of having sex with her has a. Yeah.

[Ryan Reynolds]

But was cool. But I definitely found her attractive and had the opportunity been there, I probably would have beat.

[Guest 2]

That's all I'm saying. Like, you would. You would. You did. So if my. If my current girlfriend says she has a pregnancy.

[Ryan Reynolds]

I didn't make a pregnancy pack because she wasn't letting me hit. And then in 10 years, maybe I can.

[Guest 2]

No, no, no, no, no, no. To me, that's. That's.

[Ryan Reynolds]

I was thinking coming in a cup.

[Guest 2]

I swear, that's not. That's not what I was trying to say. I wasn't trying to say that you was hoping, like, your team should be.

[Ryan Reynolds]

Locked up if that's the case, because.

[Guest 2]

That waiting on that is crazy.

[Ryan Reynolds]

No longer.

[Guest 2]

Yeah. No, no, no, no. I knew you wasn't saying that. That's crazy.

[Ryan Reynolds]

And just doing that to beat once is even sicker. Like now you got to.

[Guest 2]

You got a kid.

[Ryan Reynolds]

You did all that just to fuck once.

[Guest 2]

Oh, my God.

[Ryan Reynolds]

Anyways, that's how you end up throwing dildos on WNBA courts.

[Guest 2]

Yo, what's up with this, man? So we back to the wnba.

[Host 1]

Keep looking at me every time dildos mentioned, cuz.

[Guest 2]

Baby D. Like, I just don't. Because I don't know if this is just some random white. I think that WNBA is. Is. Is behind this. This dildo game.

[Ryan Reynolds]

I don't. The first one. I don't think so. But everyone after that killers, I think.

[Guest 2]

They'Ve leaned into this for sure. I think they're planning the dildo in the arena under somebody's seat. It's kind of like when you go to a concert and they're like, stand up. Check under your seat right now. And it's like tickets to a. Yeah.

[Ryan Reynolds]

You won the Pepsi Challenge or whatever.

[Guest 2]

It's like, people stand up. WBA game is a dildo under a random seat. You know what to do with the lime green dildo. You got to throw it.

[Host 1]

Have they all been lime green?

[Guest 2]

The last one was lime green, yes. So now this. Josh said there's bets online where now they're trying to guess the color of the next dildo that somebody's going to throw on the WNBA floor.

[Ryan Reynolds]

Okay. Now we're getting into legal gambling that I can also manipulate. When is the next WNBA game? I'll go buy a purple dildo right now and go bet on that and throw it myself.

[Guest 2]

Exactly.

[Ryan Reynolds]

Betting on a. I could just go to the game and throw one.

[Guest 2]

Well, black, Brown is at plus 200.

[Ryan Reynolds]

Okay.

[Guest 2]

Rainbow is at plus 200. White, Caucasian is at plus 250.

[Ryan Reynolds]

Calling a dildo Caucasian is very funny to me.

[Guest 2]

Pink is that. Yeah. Because what is pink and white Caucasian? Pink is at a plus 300, purple is at a plus 325, and blue is at a plus 1400. The Liberty play tomorrow. What do we do? Home game.

[Ryan Reynolds]

Yep.

[Guest 2]

All right. Baby D. You could put it on Baby D, because they can't pat you down. So you put the dildo on.

[Ryan Reynolds]

I'll throw it.

[Guest 2]

Put the strap on. On. We walk into the arena, go to the bathroom, take it off, bring it back to the seat, we cash out. There it is. You down.

[Host 1]

No see, so how dare I like.

[Guest 2]

Yo, why you put the stress. Where's Taylor. Call Taylor.

[Ryan Reynolds]

Taylor.

[Guest 2]

Call Taylor. She's down.

[Ryan Reynolds]

Just say you're not a hustler. You could take somebody to water, but, like, can't.

[Guest 2]

Can't make them think. Think. Can't make them think.

[Ryan Reynolds]

Like, we just kind of show you the way. Like this. This could be our scheme.

[Guest 2]

The WNBA is behind this. I don't care what none of y' all say. Okay, yeah, I'm definitely placing the bet. I'm gonna go purple. I'm gonna go purple.

[Ryan Reynolds]

Well, I'm going to 8th Ave. Right after this, and then. Then I'm going to the Garden. And I promise you more will be correct for purple.

[Guest 2]

Yo.

[Ryan Reynolds]

Yo, I might sign that newborn.

[Guest 2]

Yo. The WNBA is definitely behind this. I don't care what none of y' all say.

[Ryan Reynolds]

The commission's trying to shake things up.

[Guest 2]

I mean, why not? Fuck it. Fans come to the game to just see if the dildo's gonna hit the court tonight. Sell some tickets.

[Ryan Reynolds]

All right. How much do they have to pay you to. To be the one that, like, picks the dodo up? Because that's not in anyone's job description. When mopping up the floor, getting the dust off.

[Guest 2]

Mopping, the.

[Ryan Reynolds]

Laying down the slipknot. Like, nowhere in my job does it say I have to run out here, like. And then what? They got the. The. The ball boys and the bulk. Like, what? You about to tell one of the kids to go grab it? Because that would technically be their job.

[Guest 2]

They throw a towel over it. Like, it's a.

[Ryan Reynolds]

Anytime there's something on the court, like, the ball boy run out, they throw.

[Guest 2]

A towel over like it's a dead, dead rat.

[Host 1]

Sweep it.

[Guest 2]

Yeah. Yo, I ain't gonna lie. The WBA's behind this. I don't care what y' all say.

[Ryan Reynolds]

Have they been boiled? Can you tell Damaris?

[Host 1]

I don't know. I have no clue. Why is no one worried about the safety of the players?

[Guest 2]

Yeah, if a dildo hit a girl in the head, like, coming from, like, the upper, that gotta hurt. That has to hurt. Yeah. We gotta go protect the WNBA players. Let's not hurt anybody. Wait for a timeout? Well, no. Then the cheerleader's on the floor at the timeout, so you can't even do it. Then when is a good time to throw it? Like, how do you know? Like, is that a free throw when everybody's kind of stationary? They're on this side of the floor.

[Ryan Reynolds]

It depends. Your experience in throwing dildos?

[Guest 2]

Yeah.

[Ryan Reynolds]

Are you Lee Harvey Oswald? Are you the guy that tried to shoot Trump. Like.

[Guest 2]

Yeah, you gotta wait for it. You gotta wait for a free throw. Yeah, wait for a free throw. The players are on that side of the floor. You throw the dildo on the other side of it. That's it. Or when your team is, like, down by, like, four, you don't have any timeouts left, you throw the dildo. You can get, like, a unofficial timeout. The coach can give you, like, one defensive play real quick on the side while they get the dildo off the court. You got to pick the right.

[Ryan Reynolds]

It's like icing the kicker.

[Guest 2]

Yeah, you gotta. That's icing the strippers.

[Ryan Reynolds]

Imagine shooting a free throw in a dildo. Land. You miss it. I'm yelling do over.

[Guest 2]

Yeah.

[Ryan Reynolds]

Like, we are on the playground.

[Guest 2]

Do over.

[Ryan Reynolds]

Like, there's no way I can't get another free throw when someone throws a dildo. Now, was it Duke, everyone behind the free throw that did this and then goes like this?

[Guest 2]

That was a lot of college teams that did that.

[Ryan Reynolds]

I think some w. NBA team should adopt that. Like, if everyone is just shaking two dildos like this at a free throw on the equal. Like this. No one's making a free throw.

[Guest 2]

Now are dildos. Do we. This is so random. Are they banned from arenas? Yeah. Like, are they on the list?

[Host 1]

Like, and I know you dead ass. That's why you should.

[Ryan Reynolds]

That's why it's funny.

[Guest 2]

It's just rubber. It's not a weapon. It's just rubber.

[Ryan Reynolds]

You could hurt someone easily with a dildo, though.

[Guest 2]

Yeah, but I'm just saying, like, if I go to the Garden right now and I have a dildo like, in my pocket for whatever reason. Right?

[Ryan Reynolds]

Yeah. And I.

[Guest 2]

You don't take it out.

[Ryan Reynolds]

No one's business but yours.

[Guest 2]

Yeah. You take it out when you go through the metal detector. Or you don't have to because it's rubber, so it's not gonna go off. Baby D. You can have it on. Wink, wink. Like, do you put it in a little bowl and with your keys and your phone? And do they keep it. They'll say, you can't bring this in.

[Ryan Reynolds]

So. So all sporting arenas do have policies that prohibit objects being thrown onto the court or field. And the last person was arrested two days ago, but they were arrested for throwing something on the court, not for having dillo. Not because they had a dildo.

[Guest 2]

Right. So you can get. You can probably get into the arena with the dildo. You just can't throw it on the floor. You can't throw anything on the floor. You can't even throw. They pour your water in a fucking cup. They only let you keep the bottle.

[Ryan Reynolds]

I love how AI like, makes everything sound so professional when you ask stupid questions. While policies may not explicitly list dildos as a prohibited item, they generally prohibit items that could be used as projectiles or pose a safety risk. Therefore, if a dildo is deemed to fit the criteria, it would be confiscated.

[Guest 2]

Okay, so now we can assume that they're not going to let allow dildos into the ring anymore.

[Ryan Reynolds]

All right, but how are they monitoring it now? Because I'm sure now there's a new rule that you can't bring dildos because three of them have ended up on the court.

[Guest 2]

Yeah.

[Ryan Reynolds]

How are we checking for these?

[Guest 2]

So I'm saying the women just got the wear to strap it on because they can't search the women. Women just walk through the metal detectors. It's not gonna go off. Cause it's rubber, and that'd be the only way to get it in. There's a deeper story here, though.

[Host 1]

Come on. You being this investor is really cracking me up. That's why I'm just over here silently listening to you.

[Guest 2]

This is. You have to. I would have to assume that the WNBA has seen some sort of benefit from this happening. Whether it's more people watching, more people going to the game to actually see if somebody's gonna do it. Like, they've seen an uptick in revenue since the dildo gate happened. That's all I'm saying. Like, so this is business. I think somebody then be officers. WNBA officers. Like, yo, like, listen, man, you know, this thing is taking off online. People are, like, having bets to see what color is the next dildo. This is business. At the end of the day, I'm.

[Ryan Reynolds]

Just trying to find what the exact charges because they were arrested and prosecuted by local authorities.

[Guest 2]

Well, just for throwing something on the floor.

[Ryan Reynolds]

I know, but, like, I need to see the. The court, like, transcript.

[Guest 2]

See, they have the dild on the Ziploc bag at trial.

[Ryan Reynolds]

Like, imagine being. What's the court appointed lawyers that they.

[Guest 2]

Just give you court appointment. Yeah, Public.

[Ryan Reynolds]

Public defender. Imagine, like, you know, million caseloads that day, and then you just stumble into this person in the interrogation room. Like, wait, I'm defending.

[Guest 2]

What is this? WNBA athlete tweeting this? Arena security. Hello. Please do better. It's not funny. Never was funny. Throwing anything on the court is so dangerous.

[Ryan Reynolds]

Okay, I kind of want to defend security.

[Guest 2]

And then Sophia Cunningham, she says, stop throwing dildos on the court. You're going to hurt one of us.

[Ryan Reynolds]

Straight to the point.

[Guest 2]

I mean, do they play out. Do they play the anthem for that? It's raining, man. Baby, I'm sorry. All right? I'm sorry. Yo, listen, protect old wba.

[Host 1]

I don't want to kill the jokes. That's why I'm just letting y' all.

[Ryan Reynolds]

Know I'm here to protect security. That's not in my training.

[Guest 2]

Yeah, I wasn't supposed to dildo. I know how to throw a belligerent guy out of the arena. I don't know what you want me to do.

[Ryan Reynolds]

Being too loud. Cursing.

[Guest 2]

Yeah. Dildos hitting the court visibly drunk.

[Ryan Reynolds]

Like, I can see that. But somebody in the tuck with like a trench and they just got like, how am I supposed to defend that?

[Host 1]

Yeah, I think they're more saying, like even allowing them to get it into the arena. I think that's what they mean by that.

[Ryan Reynolds]

All right, well, strip searches.

[Guest 2]

All right, well, you gotta give us, you know, give. Give heavier searches at the, at the metal detectors and start telling people to cough.

[Host 1]

Outside of them being pissed off, women.

[Ryan Reynolds]

Can finally see what it was. Go to the pediatrician as a child.

[Guest 2]

Cough.

[Ryan Reynolds]

Cough your nuts and cough.

[Guest 2]

Dildo. Just dress what they call drop under the sundress.

[Ryan Reynolds]

First of all, wearing a. A sundress being what you wear when you got a do on is crazy.

[Guest 2]

Oh, my God, man. This is crazy. The world is crazy, man.

[Ryan Reynolds]

That could be a sex crime, though. Right? Right. There's kids and there like it's a sexual object. If. If you're. If you're getting sex crimes for pissing by a playground after hours. I feel like you should be in the sex crime division if you're throwing dildos at a sporting event with children.

[Guest 2]

I. I see what you're saying. Yeah.

[Ryan Reynolds]

I mean, they let Lizzo slide on it, but yeah, I think now we.

[Guest 2]

Need to back down.

[Ryan Reynolds]

Family friendly event.

[Guest 2]

This is a. This is a family. This is a family. Your fit people keep your dildos at home. Thank you very much.

[Ryan Reynolds]

Cuz I know that's what Lizzo's thinking now. Like, I got killed for having my ass cheeks out. They dildos.

[Guest 2]

They throwing dildos now? Yeah.

[Ryan Reynolds]

She's the DJ quick of this.

[Guest 2]

We're going to find out that WNBA is behind this, though. I guarantee you.

[Ryan Reynolds]

I wouldn't doubt it.

[Guest 2]

I guarantee you we find out somebody. WNBA officers behind us 100%.

[Ryan Reynolds]

You think like the Caitlyn Clark thing.

[Guest 2]

I know marketing when I say they're.

[Ryan Reynolds]

Fouling her too much. Like our story Lines are starting to get too predictable.

[Guest 2]

Dildos on the court. Absolutely.

[Ryan Reynolds]

Who's gonna be the one to take it to the next level, though? And what is that going to be?

[Guest 2]

To take the dildos to the next level? Yeah.

[Ryan Reynolds]

I mean, how do you take it.

[Guest 2]

To the next level?

[Ryan Reynolds]

I'm not that innovative. I'm. I'm asking you.

[Guest 2]

I still. I'm still on the side of, you know it, man. Throw the dildos. They do it at football games. Why not?

[Ryan Reynolds]

They do that at football games.

[Guest 2]

Yeah, they got this from the. Was it the Lions?

[Host 1]

The Buffalo Bills?

[Guest 2]

The Bills. The Bill's been doing this for years. Come on, man. The WNBA is late today. That's what I'm saying. I think the WNBA is behind this.

[Ryan Reynolds]

I hope every wife divorced their husband that threw a dildo on. We got. We got bills to pay. We got kids. You went to a sex store and purchased a dildo and then went to.

[Guest 2]

The game and threw it. Yeah.

[Ryan Reynolds]

I'm trying to get our son in a private school and look at how you're spending your money. What the is wrong with you? Just run onto the field like a normal psychopath.

[Guest 2]

Yeah. And get. And yeah.

[Ryan Reynolds]

Put on a Superman cape. Like, do that.

[Guest 2]

Do that. I don't know. I don't get it, man.

[Ryan Reynolds]

What's the sex things to marriage? You would know the. It's like the machine.

[Host 1]

Oh, like the sex machines.

[Guest 2]

Yeah.

[Ryan Reynolds]

I don't have to deal about the thing. Like, I don't know. They just throw a whole mechanic.

[Guest 2]

Oh, yeah, yeah.

[Ryan Reynolds]

I don't know what the name is. Yeah, yeah, yeah. They just pop up on like porn pop up ads.

[Host 1]

Y' all want to have like a real conversation about it. So we just joking. Because if we just joking, we can just joke.

[Guest 2]

No. What happened? Tell me.

[Ryan Reynolds]

Tell us about the patriarchy and the misogyny and.

[Host 1]

No, I'm not. I'm saying the WNBA has had a hard time getting people to take them seriously and they finally are getting that, and now this is overshadowing everything.

[Guest 2]

Well, I mean, if you do it in as far as, like, how many games there are weekly, there's only been two dildos thrown, so it's not really that much of a problem yet.

[Ryan Reynolds]

And I thought it was. Does that mean that they're not taking it seriously? Like, okay, my godfather loves the Yankees, but he has slid into second base during the seventh inning stretch. And Bucky Dent called him an. He still took the organization seriously when he did something so immature. There's still respect there. I don't Think. I don't think it's a disrespect. I think, you know, that's just their way of expressing themselves. The way Josh screams for wrestlers is probably. They're just probably like big WNBA fans and get so excited they have a Tourette syndrome.

[Guest 2]

Yeah. Well, please don't hit any of the WNBA players with the dildos. If you're gonna throw them, throw them with caution. Throw them with care and with love. Just. Just fans being fans. I don't know if you tell fans to stop being fans. I don't know.

[Ryan Reynolds]

They've been throwing at Drake for the last week.

[Guest 2]

Dildos.

[Ryan Reynolds]

No. Oh, coffee cups. And they just been throwing Drake for, like. I keep seeing videos, but I thought he wasn't on tour, so that's where I got confused.

[Guest 2]

They're throwing coffee.

[Ryan Reynolds]

Or maybe it's just a viral thing of a bunch of videos of people throwing things at Drake over the years.

[Guest 2]

Oh, but that's.

[Ryan Reynolds]

That's what I've been seeing. Listen, Ari Lennox went out there with a hockey helmet on, so if that's what Angel Reese needs to do, I mean, the game is the game.

[Guest 2]

Yeah. Yeah. Gotta get out there and do what you gotta do.

[Ryan Reynolds]

Speak your mind.

[Host 1]

I know. We joking. It's joke.

[Ryan Reynolds]

No. All right, let's not joke then.

[Host 1]

No, it's jokes. It's for real. This isn't the.

[Guest 2]

I mean, we don't want to see no players get hurt, but of course not. How. How do you stop fans from doing this? That's like the only. You know what I'm saying? Even security is like, what do you. They're gonna be able to get a dildo into the game. It's rubber. It's not gonna, like, go off in a metal detector. So it's like. Like, yeah, somebody wants to boof it. Like, what are you going to.

[Host 1]

Yeah, I'm just saying, you know, that was my idea.

[Guest 2]

So you can't stop them from getting in, but we don't want no players to get hurt. Like, seriously, don't hurt nobody.

[Ryan Reynolds]

All right, but now that security does know about this, I feel like you'll be able to spot the guy that's going to throw the dildo. Now, before, I was surprised. We don't know how it started, but now the guy that finds this hilarious, that's betting you can spot that guy walking into the arena. Like, you're not here for a game.

[Host 1]

Game?

[Guest 2]

Yeah.

[Ryan Reynolds]

Any guy that walks, you're in barstool, Reddit. Like. Like, come on, you thought that guy was there. For the game. That's somebody.

[Guest 2]

That's the guy.

[Ryan Reynolds]

The Bills.

[Guest 2]

Oh, from the Bills. Oh.

[Ryan Reynolds]

Oh, well, yes. If that guy walked in into a Liberty game, I'd be like, that's. He probably has a dildo.

[Host 1]

Like, he's not here.

[Ryan Reynolds]

He's not here for.

[Guest 2]

Probably has a dildo.

[Ryan Reynolds]

You should be able to spot those guys now. I think profiling is okay sometimes.

[Guest 2]

Yeah.

[Ryan Reynolds]

You're gonna know the guy that you should be like, yo, let's follow him. To make.

[Guest 2]

You got to put security that work, you got to put him to a new type of training. You put 10 pictures on the board of guys, and you say, who do you think has a deal?

[Ryan Reynolds]

They make up the character. Yeah, his Name's Kyle. He's 45.

[Guest 2]

Yeah.

[Ryan Reynolds]

He has intimacy issues. Yeah, I get it.

[Guest 2]

All right, well, we'll have to sit and wait to see when the next dildo hits the court.

[Ryan Reynolds]

And any, like, man that's just walking into. I feel like a WNBA game by themselves.

[Guest 2]

Suspect.

[Ryan Reynolds]

Yeah.

[Guest 2]

Yeah.

[Ryan Reynolds]

Even though I'm with you. I've done that, though.

[Guest 2]

If you don't have your kids or daughters with somebody, like. Yes.

[Ryan Reynolds]

Yeah. Like what? Just.

[Guest 2]

Just. Yeah, you just coming to see the. See the girls play. Like, you just. I'm not saying things wrong with it, but prior to the dildo gate. But at, like, post dildo gate. He's a suspect. He's a suspect. A single guy. None of the homies came with you. Come on, fam.

[Host 1]

I like how y' all are now on my side that this was a man that did this. I like how y' all are.

[Guest 2]

I still don't think it's a man that did it.

[Ryan Reynolds]

Oh, I think was a man every time.

[Guest 2]

I don't. WNBA game. I don't think so.

[Host 1]

No men go there.

[Guest 2]

No men go there, but I don't think it's a man that did that, though. I don't think so.

[Host 1]

Okay.

[Ryan Reynolds]

I. I wasted my courtside tickets. I could have got it shaken. I just sat there and clapped and supported.

[Guest 2]

You should have had a deal.

[Ryan Reynolds]

What? A T shirt could have went. Vi could have done something for this pod.

[Guest 2]

Yeah, exactly. Exactly.

[Ryan Reynolds]

I could have been arrested.

[Guest 2]

Oh, my God.

[Ryan Reynolds]

This episode is sponsored by Roe. You cannot spell Rory without the row. Row Sparks is a 2 in 1 prescription treatment for guys who want more controlled erections. Pause. Ma, I'm telling you, when you get into, like, some spontaneous type vibe and you need something to act right away. Roe, get in that bloodstream immediately.

[Guest 2]

It's like calling an audible, like, literally.

[Ryan Reynolds]

You can just take that row. I don't know, buy some time. Maybe say something nice to her, kiss her neck or something. By then you good to go.

[Guest 2]

Take the row. She'll never know. Also Rory Ro connects guys with a medical provider 100% online so you don't have to waste time in waiting rooms. If approved treatment ships directly to your front door if prescribed. New sexual health patients get $15 off their first order of Sparks on a recurring plan. Connect with a provider at rorymal to find out if prescription rose sparks are right for you. You that's ro co rorymal for 15 off your first order.

[Ryan Reynolds]

This is an ad by BetterHelp. Did you know that workplace stress is now one of the top causes of declining mental health? In fact, 61% of the global workforce is experiencing higher than normal levels of stress. You can't just wave goodbye to work, but taking small steps for your wellness can yield big results. Hit play on your favorite podcast or song, sit in the sun or take a walk daily. And while holidays are nice, they aren't a long term solution. Don't forget therapy can be ongoing and can help you build resilience to handle the unexpected challenges that workday or any day can bring. With over 30,000 therapists, BetterHelp is the world's largest online therapy platform, having served over 5 million people globally. It's convenient too. You can join a session with a therapist at the click of a button, helping you fit therapy into your busy life. Plus, you can switch therapists at any time time. Finding work life balance can be hard. Getting the help you deserve that should be easy. Visit betterhelp.com rorymal for 10% off your first month. That's better help. H E L p.com rorymol.

[Host 2]

Time for a sofa upgrade? Visit washablesofas.com and discover Annabe where designer style meets budget friendly prices with sofa SofA Starting at $699, Annabe brings you the ultimate in furniture innovation with a modular design that allows you to rearrange your space effortlessly. Perfect for both small and large spaces, Anibe is the only machine washable sofa inside and out. Say goodbye to stains and messes with liquid and stain resistant fabrics that make cleaning easy. Liquid simply slides right off. Designed for custom comfort, our high resilience foam lets you choose choose between a sink and feel or a supportive memory foam blend. Plus our pet friendly stain resistant fabrics ensure your sofa stays beautiful for years. Don't compromise quality for price. Visit washablesofas.com to upgrade your living space today with no risk returns and a 30 day money back guarantee. Get up to 60% off plus free shipping and free returns. Shop [e-mail] Authors are subject to change and certain restrictions may apply.

[Sponsor 2]

You're great at protecting your own personal information. You probably even use things like two factor authentication, strong passwords and a vpn. But as much as you try to be in control of how your information is protected, there are lots of places that also have it and they might not be as careful as you are. That's why LifeLock monitors millions of data points every second for identity threats. If your identity is stolen, a LifeLock US based restoration specialist will help solve identity theft issues on your behalf. Guaranteed or your money back. Plus all LifeLock plans are backed by the million dollar protection package, meaning LifeLock will reimburse you up to the limits of your plan if you lose money due to identity theft. You might not be able to control how others handle your personal information, but you can help protect it with LifeLock. Save up to 40% your first year. Call 1-800-LIFELOCK and use promo code IHEARTRA or go to lifelock.com iheart for 40% off. Terms apply.

[Sponsor 1]

Lenovo is built for creators who don't wait for inspiration. They chase it with inventive tech built in AI tools and seamless performance. Lenovo devices powered by Intel Core Ultra processors are designed to bring your wildest ideas to life faster. That's the power of Lenovo with Intel inside. Enjoy flexible financing, rewards on every purchase and free shipping. And students get special offers when you create an [e-mail].

[Guest 1]

This episode is brought to you by Navy Federal Credit Union. Navy Federal can help you find and finance the right vehicle with ease. And this summer you're in the driver's seat with savings. You can get a $250 bonus when you buy your next car through Navy Federal's car buying service. Powered by TrueCar and financed with Navy Federal, with this tool you can find the vehicle that's right for you as you search through inventory and compare models. And you could get an amazing rate when you finance with Navy Federal. Navy Federal strives to support all active duty veterans and their families to achieve their personal and financial goals. And this partnership with TrueCar is one of the many tools Navy Federal uses to help its members make your plan with Navy Federal and TrueCar today. Navy Federal Credit Union to qualify for the $250 bonus, car purchase and financing must be completed by September 2, 2025. Terms and conditions apply and are available at navy federal.org truecar Credit and Collateral subject to approval. Navy Federal is insured by NCUA.

[Host 2]

Time for a sofa upgrade? Visit washablesofas.com and discover Annabe where designer style meets budget friendly prices with sofas starting at $699, Annabe brings you the ultimate in furniture innovation with a modular design that allows you to rearrange your space effortlessly. Perfect for both small and large spaces, Anime is the only mobile machine washable sofa inside and out. Say goodbye to stains and messes with liquid and stain resistant fabrics that make cleaning easy. Liquid simply slides right off. Designed for custom comfort, our high resilience foam lets you choose between a sink in feel or a supportive memory foam blend. Plus, our pet friendly stain resistant fabrics ensure your sofa stays beautiful for years. Don't compromise quality for price. Visit washablesofas.com to to upgrade your living space today with no risk returns and a 30 day money back guarantee. Get up to 60% off plus free shipping and free returns. Shop now at washablesofas.com Offers are subject to change and certain restrictions may apply.

[Sponsor 2]

You're great at protecting your own personal information. You probably even use things like two factor authentication, strong passwords and a vpn. But as much as you try to be in control of how your information is protected, there are lots of places that also have it and they might not be as careful as you are. That's why LifeLock monitors millions of data points every second for identity threats. If your identity is stolen, a LifeLock US based restoration specialist will help solve identity theft issues on your behalf, guaranteed or your money back. Plus, all LifeLock plans are backed by the million dollar protection package, meaning LifeLock will reimburse you up to the limits of your plan if you lose money due to identity theft. You might not be able to control how others handle your personal information, but you can help protect it with Lifelock. Save up to 40% your first year. Call 1-800-LIFELOCK and use promo code iheart or go to lifelock.com iheart for 40% off. Terms apply.

[Sponsor 1]

Lenovo is built for creators who don't wait for inspiration. They chase it with inventive tech, built in AI tools and seamless performance. Lenovo Devices, devices powered by Intel Core Ultra processors are designed to bring your wildest ideas to life faster. That's the power of Lenovo. With intel inside, enjoy flexible financing, rewards on every purchase and free shipping. And students get special offers when you create an [e-mail] lenovo lenovo.

[Guest 1]

This episode is brought to you by Navy Federal Credit Union. Navy Federal can help you find and finance the right vehicle with ease. And this summer, you're in the driver's seat with savings. You can get a $250 bonus when you buy your next car through Navy Federal's car buying Service. Powered by TrueCar and financed with Navy Federal. With this tool, you can find the vehicle that's right for you as you search through inventory and compare models. And you could get an amazing rate when you finance with Navy Federal. Navy Federal strives to support all active duty veterans and their families to achieve their personal and financial goals. And this partnership with TrueCar is one of the many tools Navy Federal uses to help its members make your plan with Navy Federal and TrueCar today. Navy Federal Credit Union. To qualify for the $250 bonus, car purchase and financing must be completed by September 2, 2025. Terms and conditions apply and are available at navy federal.org truecar Credit and Collateral subject to approval. Navy Federal is insured by ncua.

[Ryan Reynolds]

All right, well, we had this on the list for last week, and we never got to it. High Noon is warning customers that some of its vodka seltzers were accidentally labeled as Celsius energy drink drinks. And I think everyone should apologize to Damaris and I because we thought we were drinking Celsius on the pod, and maybe that's why we sounded insane. I want an apology. I was drunk and I didn't know it.

[Guest 2]

Okay.

[Host 1]

I like one, too.

[Ryan Reynolds]

Are they owned by this? Like, how does that happen?

[Guest 2]

I don't know what High Note is.

[Ryan Reynolds]

So it's. It's like a vodka seltzer.

[Guest 2]

Okay.

[Ryan Reynolds]

You know, like the new trend of those White claw and everything.

[Guest 2]

One that.

[Ryan Reynolds]

Oh, yes. But I. I guess they're probably owned by the same company or they.

[Host 1]

They might be made in the same factory.

[Ryan Reynolds]

But how you mix.

[Guest 2]

Like, I just feel like that somebody on the line, somebody did that on purpose. That that wasn't.

[Ryan Reynolds]

And then he threw a dildo on the court afterwards.

[Guest 2]

The same guy.

[Ryan Reynolds]

That's definitely the same guy.

[Guest 2]

That would do same guy 100.

[Ryan Reynolds]

I just feel like you should, like, keep those a little bit separate.

[Guest 2]

But is anybody mad at that? Like, you get vodka when you thought you were just getting like.

[Ryan Reynolds]

Yeah, yeah. All right. What if I crush 2 Celsius and then I get pulled over and I'm super confident because I have not been drinking. I blow a.008 and. Yeah, I mean, I'd be. If I blew a.008 off two high noons.

[Host 1]

But you can have it.

[Ryan Reynolds]

That's another. That's another. A separate conversation. Like you. You're. You're super gay.

[Guest 2]

If that happens, that got you drunk. All right. Two High Noons.

[Ryan Reynolds]

Okay, but I mean, how do we do a settlement? I lie on stage.

[Guest 2]

Well, y' all were victims. You were victims. Do y' all still have the cans?

[Host 1]

No. No.

[Ryan Reynolds]

And are we still gonna connect to Celsius? Nope.

[Guest 2]

Damn. It's over. All right. So good. All right, Shout out to the High Noons and the Celsius drinkers, though. Not really.

[Ryan Reynolds]

That's your shout out.

[Guest 2]

Not really.

[Host 1]

Just be shouting anybody out.

[Ryan Reynolds]

Anybody get a Drinking High Noon is.

[Guest 2]

Like, what are you doing?

[Ryan Reynolds]

Anyone can get a shout out. Do we have voicemails?

[Guest 2]

You've got mail. Yes, we do. And they are sponsored by Boost Mobile Unlimited talk, text and data.

[Ryan Reynolds]

Sorry.

[Host 1]

All right, y'.

[Guest 2]

All.

[Host 1]

So my name is deshawn.

[Caller 1]

I'm from Houston, Texas, and I got a question. It's work related. So I work for an organization that claims to be a progressive, a very left, a very forward thinking nonprofit, right? So we work within the government and political space. This job, and I'm not exaggerating, is one of the most anti black fucking toxic work environments. If you are a black woman at this job, please trust and believe you will be treated horribly. Whether it's because you speaking out about something, whether it's because they really just want to participate in the tone policing, whether it's because they really just don't like the shit that you have to say. They ask for feedback, then get mad when you give it.

[Guest 2]

Right?

[Caller 1]

But. So I'm at the point where I'm about to leave this job where I just feel like the environment has gotten so fucked up. But I feel like. And I got this strong feeling, I don't like it when people feel like they playing with me. When people feel like they done got one up on me or they got over on me, that's a problem I have. Like, I can't let shit go. So I'm taking it to the lengths with them because the shit that they've done to me, retaliation, discrimination, all type of shit, right? All documented. Damn. Like, when I say documented. Documented, Right. But it's taking so much of an emotional toll on me right now. What I'm trying to figure out is should I let them have it and just worry about my piece or should I pursue this so other people don't have to go through this and really let them have it? Y' all let Me know Damaris.

[Guest 2]

Who?

[Host 1]

I me. Why me?

[Ryan Reynolds]

I was looking at you.

[Host 1]

Why? Why me?

[Ryan Reynolds]

But also mention how. How great the environment is here.

[Host 1]

Okay, my bad. Yeah, sure.

[Ryan Reynolds]

In your response, that has nothing to do.

[Guest 2]

That's very important. Yeah.

[Host 1]

Love, love, love, love my work environment. Have never ever thought about coming in here and knocking all these cameras over.

[Ryan Reynolds]

And like, we definitely just heard you out on the dildo issue. For sure.

[Host 1]

Yeah, for sure.

[Ryan Reynolds]

Them go for it.

[Host 1]

Yeah. I like the legal route. I like the legal route, but you gotta control your emotions and that. I can tell by the way you heavy breathing talking to us. You might not be able to do that.

[Ryan Reynolds]

That's probably what they told her.

[Guest 2]

In the work environment.

[Host 1]

Yeah. I don't know. You might. I want you to go to legal route, not only just for other people, but because I want you to get a bag. But if you're not able to keep up that facade, because I for one know what it feels like not staying at this job, but coming to work and you wanna cuss people out and you can't. Like. I know what that feels like.

[Guest 2]

Like.

[Host 1]

Try it. And if you can't do it, then it crash out. But at least try. I feel like you should at least try to take the legal route.

[Ryan Reynolds]

That's expensive though, is. It's not just crashing out, Tony Buzz.

[Host 1]

Crashing out is expensive.

[Guest 2]

They'll never tell you how much crashing out cost.

[Ryan Reynolds]

Cost you the most.

[Guest 2]

Yeah, it's never. And it's never on sale. Crash outs ain't never on sale.

[Host 1]

Yeah, like, I mean, it is expensive. But if you feel like you really have, like. Because some lawyers get multiple, like, opinions. Because some lawyers are just trying to take your money. And some people will tell you, like, now you don't really have a case. Figure out if you really got a case. Like if you have enough receipts and if you really got it like that, then yeah, I would take it all the way.

[Ryan Reynolds]

And some lawyers will be pro bono. I mean, they'll take more of your settlement if you win, but off the strength. Why not? Yeah, I would talk to a few different lawyers in your area. I'm sure there's plenty in Houston that would. Would take this place. Can find them at all your local strip clubs. Every time I'm in a strip club, there's always a lawyer in Houston there.

[Guest 2]

You got to have lawyers in a strip club?

[Ryan Reynolds]

Oh, no. It makes me feel more comfortable, you know, in case I slip on something. But yeah, go for it. Do we have another voice?

[Host 1]

Look at us too. Yeah.

[Caller 2]

Su come yo what up, R, M and D. Hopefully y' all find yourselves healthy and wealthy. My name is Juan. I've called in before. I know when I had the story with the gay neighbor moving in who had a sugar daddy party. Anyway, anyways, I'm going try to be as brief as possible. So we have friends, they're. They're married. We've been friends for a long time. You know, she got kids, we got kids. All that recently. Unfortunately, last year they were just celebrating their. Their marriage. Now her mom is gone. Two months ago she was diagnosed with a stage four cancer and you know, fortunately she's gone now. So recipes to her. She was a great lady, really nice.

[Guest 2]

But.

[Caller 2]

So the point is, at church, when I went to the funeral, to their Jehovah Youth club center, whatever the place called. I don't know if it's a temple church.

[Ryan Reynolds]

Anyway, now it's a temple.

[Caller 2]

I might have said some inappropriate jokes because I joke a lot. All types of jokes of anything. I'm not religious myself. So I said something at one point there was a guy picking up, cleaning up, I guess, and my girl was kind of helping him. And I said something like, he's okay, ice ain't coming. The next one was to my friend, the one that's married to her. I can't remember what happened, but I said something about, don't worry, Jehovah ain't gonna strike you down. Apparently some of her quote unquote brothers from the church or whatever heard. So she asked for an apology. I think I was tripping.

[Guest 2]

Peace.

[Ryan Reynolds]

Yes.

[Guest 2]

How do you end that with peace. Peace. He said, y' all think I was tripping. Piece like, what?

[Ryan Reynolds]

And also with you.

[Guest 2]

Yes, yes, you were tripping. Absolutely. Wrong place, wrong time for those jokes.

[Ryan Reynolds]

Yeah, you can't be that guy.

[Guest 2]

Yeah, don't be that guy.

[Ryan Reynolds]

My dad's that guy. He has better material.

[Guest 2]

Your dad has a better reason. It was a different time when your dad came up. Different time in the world.

[Ryan Reynolds]

And to my dad's credit, it definitely better than the low hanging. Ice isn't going to get you to the cleaning guy. Like, yeah, joking is one thing, but at least make it a good attempt.

[Guest 2]

Yeah, yeah. You gotta at least make it worth the attempt. You can't just.

[Ryan Reynolds]

And also, even if you're not religious, respect the place that you're in.

[Guest 2]

Like, that's first and foremost, like you had a funeral.

[Ryan Reynolds]

There's certain jokes that are just maybe too good that you have to say and you'll take the brunt for it. I'm Disrespecting people over the Jehovah won't strike you down. I'm.

[Guest 2]

Yeah, it just wasn't worth it.

[Ryan Reynolds]

Yeah, Juan is kind of.

[Guest 2]

Yeah, Juan, relax, man. Don't go to no more funerals, man. Stay on. Send a card or something. Actually, no, don't. Just stay home.

[Host 1]

Actually, no.

[Guest 2]

He might say something in the car like, just. Just stay home, man. Just stay home.

[Ryan Reynolds]

Trying to think the amount of times my father has made it extremely uncomfortable for everybody in the room while making jokes. One of the funnier ones, I don't remember exactly, it was like friends of the family that I'd never met and my dad found out one of them was from Jersey. So he. He thinks anybody from New Jersey just wants to be a sarcastic asshole at all moments at any time. He thinks everyone is just as obnoxious as him if you're from New Jersey. And he started talking about the term flid and the guy didn't know what it is. So my dad said very loudly in a stuffy room, FLID stands for fucking Long island douchebag. He was referring to somebody else that was from Long Island. And I looked at him. When I tell you, like it was movie level silence. Like when he said it, like everyone's having different conversations. He said it so loud. Everyone was.

[Host 1]

Record scratch.

[Guest 2]

I love God era.

[Ryan Reynolds]

Like, you just don't.

[Guest 2]

Like, they don't give a.

[Ryan Reynolds]

And mind. Like, he thought he was smoking it too.

[Guest 2]

This was.

[Ryan Reynolds]

This was the squarest guy from New Jersey ever. He didn't understand why my dad was trying to. On Long Island. Like, they flids. Oh, you don't know what a flit is. It's a Long island douchebag.

[Host 1]

I'm like, I'm actually gonna take that.

[Guest 2]

Yo. Guys from that era just don't care, man. Guys from the 70s did not give a. They don't give a. About none of this progressive we got going on in the 2020s. Like all of this, man, you gotta love them.

[Ryan Reynolds]

And no self awareness that the joke didn't work. Yeah. Just starts laughing.

[Guest 2]

Nah. They go to the next one.

[Ryan Reynolds]

He thinks this guy's loving it. Everyone in the room can tell that this guy is extremely uncomfortable.

[Guest 2]

Different time, man. Listen, man, you can't be mad at them. They came up in a different era, man.

[Ryan Reynolds]

School events just. There were so many times where I didn't even to like turn around. I just know it's my dad. Like, it's doing, like when something goes bad. I just. I know he's behind it. Like without question.

[Guest 2]

Oh, man.

[Ryan Reynolds]

Walk into a family function late, Everything's in disarray. What my dad do? I don't even need to guess at this point. Like, yeah, what did he do now?

[Guest 2]

I love it, man. I it.

[Ryan Reynolds]

What time you start drinking?

[Guest 2]

I love it. I love it. Oh, man. Baby, do you good?

[Host 1]

I'm great.

[Guest 2]

All right, man, well, we're gonna get out of here so we can enjoy the rest of our day.

[Host 1]

Wait, mall?

[Guest 2]

Oh, yes.

[Ryan Reynolds]

Baby D. Are you gonna for people?

[Host 1]

Rory, you don't know. I asked Ma for, like, some fashion advice because I'm doing some shopping for a man, and I don't know how to shop for.

[Ryan Reynolds]

Ew. Men don't deserve anything.

[Host 1]

I know, right?

[Ryan Reynolds]

That's gross.

[Host 1]

But, like, I don't know how to shop for men. Like, I really like. I don't. I don't know what type of, like, clothes y' all like. Like, I don't know what those sneakers are called. What are those?

[Ryan Reynolds]

Those are Nikes.

[Host 1]

No, you guys are. What kind of Nike? Like, what's the number? Like, I don't know.

[Guest 2]

It's not. I think these are called the social Something can't remember.

[Host 1]

Like. Like that. Like, I don't know.

[Guest 2]

So I'm like, these are tennis sneakers, though.

[Ryan Reynolds]

They look like tennis sneakers.

[Host 1]

Yeah, yeah.

[Ryan Reynolds]

They look Roger Federer esque or John McEnroe. Yeah. With the gun bottom.

[Guest 2]

Yeah.

[Ryan Reynolds]

Those are actually kind of hard.

[Guest 2]

Yeah. Comfortable.

[Ryan Reynolds]

I may need a give. Buy two. Yeah, I'll cash at you.

[Guest 2]

Yeah.

[Host 1]

But I like Ma's sense of style, so I'm like, I trust mall. Like, no shade. I trust mall.

[Ryan Reynolds]

I didn't.

[Host 1]

Help me. No, I just didn't want you to take offense. Like, I'm not saying I don't. Like, I don't.

[Ryan Reynolds]

I'm not one of those people that when someone else is complimented, I take it as a slight.

[Host 1]

Okay, cool.

[Guest 2]

I hate those people with a passion.

[Ryan Reynolds]

I didn't even cross my mind. Oh, it's okay to cover memoir you. I'm not the sibling that you have to buy a birthday present for when they're sibling.

[Host 1]

Their birthday participation trophy. Yeah, no, but I just needed his opinion on, like, sneakers, and I didn't because I was gonna get the robe with the name on it, and you guys told me not to do that.

[Ryan Reynolds]

Yeah, please don't.

[Guest 2]

I mean, you can, but it just can't be, like. It has to be like, a robe that he could wear every day around the house. Like, the one I have is, like, a statement robe. I think it's like white and pink and, like, gold. Like, it's like a. I'm trying to be obnoxious. When I put that robe on, I'm like. I'm. You know, I'm saying, like, I'm in a character. I'm Ric Flair.

[Ryan Reynolds]

When I put that, it's a puffy party.

[Guest 2]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. I'm Ric Flair 100. But I did. I told you with sneakers I thought you should get.

[Host 1]

I need more. I didn't really like those. Those were a little ugly. I think even you thought those were a little ugly.

[Guest 2]

Nah, those are fire. Those. Those sell out every time they drop.

[Host 1]

Really?

[Guest 2]

You can't get them. Yeah, but I'll send you some more options, though.

[Host 1]

Yeah, send me some more.

[Guest 2]

I've seen some options.

[Ryan Reynolds]

You should do Nike id. Like, you could design it.

[Host 1]

I don't have.

[Ryan Reynolds]

They still do that.

[Host 1]

I don't have enough time. Do they?

[Guest 2]

I'm not sure. I'm not sure. I don't think.

[Ryan Reynolds]

I mean, if you guys saying it was black sneakers, right? Just make them all black and put his name on the side.

[Host 1]

No.

[Ryan Reynolds]

No, I'm setting her up for failure.

[Host 1]

Yeah, Straight.

[Guest 2]

I got. I got some more options. I could send you, like, two more. Two more.

[Host 1]

But don't they say you're not supposed to buy men's sneakers that are gonna walk out your life? Hypothetically, this. Not for me, but, like. Like, aren't they. Don't they say that if you buy men's shoes, they'll walk out your life?

[Guest 2]

The reason. That's like, when people be like, oh, I'm a Taurus, that means, like, I don't take. It's just like. I know a Capricorn is just like, you. Like, it's all. It applies to everybody. You buy somebody something and y' all break up. That doesn't mean. Because you bought him those Jordans last year, that's why he left you.

[Ryan Reynolds]

Yeah, I was. I was walking out anyways.

[Guest 2]

Yeah, he was gonna leave anyway. Like, if you bought the Jordans or not, he was out of your life. Don't worry about it.

[Ryan Reynolds]

I've left in slides. Yeah, I've left barefoot before.

[Guest 2]

Gotta do what?

[Ryan Reynolds]

You've been on vacation. I've just left.

[Guest 2]

But I'll send you some more options. I got, like, two more pair I could send you.

[Host 1]

Thank you.

[Guest 2]

That I think. I don't know his style. But you said all black. All right, so I got two more options I could send you.

[Host 1]

Thank you.

[Ryan Reynolds]

Now I throw the Puerto Rican flag on the side. Put his name. I think that's the.

[Guest 2]

He's not Puerto Rican, though.

[Ryan Reynolds]

Yeah, but who cares?

[Guest 2]

He does. He's wearing them.

[Ryan Reynolds]

Remember when everybody in New York had the Puerto Rican flag on the side of their their uptowns and they wasn't.

[Guest 2]

Even Puerto Rico, right? Represent. Represent for the Bori.

[Ryan Reynolds]

I wanted a pair. Yeah, but you know my father would not allow that. A Puerto Rican flag, Definitely not happening.

[Guest 2]

In the Irish home. Not happening. All right, we'll talk to y' all soon. Be safe, be blessed. I'm that nigga. Eat your ginger. Peace. Stay off those couches, yo. No worrying now.

[Host 2]

Tired of spills and stains on your sofa? WashablesOfAs.com has your back Featuring the Annabe Collection, the only designer sofa that's machine washable inside and out. Where designer quality meets budget friendly prices. That's right, sofas start at just $699. Enjoy a no risk experience with pet friendly stain resistant and changeable slipcovers made with performance fabrics. Experience cloud like comfort with high resilience foam that's hypoallergenic and never needs fluffing. The sturdy steel frame ensure ensures longevity and the modular pieces can be rearranged anytime. Check out washablesofas.com and get up to 60% off your Anna Bay sofa backed by a 30 day satisfaction guarantee. If you're not absolutely in love, send it back for a full refund. No return, shipping or restocking fees. Every penny back. Upgrade [e-mail] Offers are subject to change and certain restrictions.

[Sponsor 2]

You're great at protecting your own personal information. You probably even use things like two factor authentication, strong passwords and a vpn. But as much as you try to be in control of how your information is protected, there are lots of places that also have it and they might not be as careful as you are. That's why LifeLock monitors millions of data points every second for identity threats. If your identity is stolen, a LifeLock US based restoration specialist will help solve identity theft issues on your behalf, guaranteed or your money back. Plus, all LifeLock plans are backed by the million dollar protection package, meaning LifeLock will reimburse you up to the limits of your plan. If you lose money due to identity theft. You might not be able to control how others handle your personal information, but you can help protect it with LifeLock. Save up to 40% your first year. Call 1-800-LIFELOCK and use promo code IHEART or go to lifelock.com iheart for 40% off terms apply.

[Ryan Reynolds]

Hey, it's me Earhart. Mind if I pick the next song? Listen Even though we're eating better, people who've had one heart attack are at.

[Sponsor 2]

Higher risk of another.

[Ryan Reynolds]

But Repatha Evolocumab plus a statin lowers LDL C, our bad cholesterol and our heart attack risk. So let's talk to our dog doctor about Repatha.

[Host 2]

Do not take Repatha if you're allergic to it. Serious allergic reactions can occur. Get medical help right away if you have trouble breathing or swallowing swelling of the face, lips, tongue, throat or arms. Common side effects include runny nose, sore throat, common cold symptoms, flu or flu like symptoms back pain, high blood sugar and redness pain or bruising at the injection site View the important safety information in our banner. Listen to your heart Ask Ask your.

[J]

Doctor about Repatha with depression it feels like every day you're just going through the motions. I wanted something that could help me feel better fast and that also lasts. That's when my doctor told me about Ovality in a study. Ovelity started working for some as early as one week, with significant improvements seen on average at six weeks compared to placebo. Ovelity is helping me to feel more like myself. I'm glad I talked to my doctor doctor about Ovelity. Ovelity is a prescription medicine for adults with major depressive disorder. Ovelity is not approved for children under 18. Ovelity may increase suicidal thoughts and actions in young adults. Tell your doctor about sudden changes to mood, thoughts or behavior. Do not take Ovelity if you have a history of seizure eating disorder or have abruptly stopped drinking alcohol or taking benzodiazepines, barbiturates or antiseptic seizure medicine. Serious allergic reactions can occur. Do not take if you are allergic to dextromethorphan, bupropion or any of the ingredients in Ovelity. Do not take with maois. High blood pressure, manic episodes, serious eye problems and dizziness can occur. Report all medicines you take to avoid a life threatening condition. Do not take Ovelity if you are or may become pregnant. Side effects can include dizziness, headache, diarrhea, feeling sleepy, dry mouth, sexual function problems and excessive sweating. Ask your healthcare provider if Ovelity is right for you. Visit ovelity.com that's a U V E L I T Y.com or call 866-496-2976 for more information.

[Host 1]

This is an I Heart Podcast.