New Rory & MAL – Episode 398 | Ninja Warriors
Date: August 19, 2025
Hosts: Rory, Maul
Guest/Co-host: Damaris
Episode Overview
This episode finds Rory & Maul (with regular Damaris appearances) in relaxed, comedic rapport for a quintessential “new week, same antics” show. Topics range from NYC summer heat woes, Ninja Warrior gyms for “civilians,” random sporting obsessions, celebrity rumors and conspiracies, new music drops (with lengthy takes on Cardi B’s “Imaginary Players”), rumors and hip-hop beefs, family feuds, and nuggets of questionable street wisdom. As always, there are random hot takes, recurring inside jokes, and a frank, breezy conversational tone.
Main Topics & Key Segments
1. NYC Summer Vibes & Weather Complaints
[02:20–03:41]
- The team celebrates a break from the 90-degree NYC summer:
- “It is not 90 degrees in New York and I feel amazing.” – Rory (02:20)
- Banter about New York vs. Nevada heat, humidity, and “body temp” jokes.
2. Hospital Attention-Seeking & Social Media Rants
[03:44–04:36]
- The crew mock-posting hospital bracelets for attention.
- “You always have to post that.” – Rory (03:59)
- “Pray for me. Yeah, don’t ask questions. Just prayers.” – Damaris (04:01)
3. Sports Obsessions & “Ninja Warrior” Tangents
[05:16–14:59]
- Maul’s update: Harlem tennis clinic for kids, watching from sidelines.
- Childhood & odd sports: Badminton, “Newcomb,” Ultimate Frisbee (“might be the gayest game of all time” – Rory, 07:20), and water polo curiosity.
- “How do people get into curling or bobsledding?” – Rory & Maul discuss unlikely Olympic sports.
- The crew’s joking debate about “becoming” a ninja and the birthright of ninja skills.
4. Ninja Warrior Gyms for Regulars
[12:09–15:03]
- Maul suggests Ninja Warrior-style gyms should be a bar-like activity:
- “We should… get drunk and then try to do a ninja warrior obstacle course.”
- Discovering real Ninja gyms for “civilians” in NYC:
- “There’s never been a ninja warrior. Everyone’s been a civilian.” – Rory (12:57)
- “You gotta be born a ninja.” – Maul (13:23)
Memorable Moment:
Ninja Wall Rivalry
“Damaris, you are not making it up that wall.”
– Maul, roast-battling Damaris’ bravado (14:23)
5. Rory’s Weekend: Tao, EDM Parties & Harlem Exes
[19:11–24:42]
- Rory hit Tao for a friend’s dinner, ran into familiar faces.
- Tales from a music event at “The Edge” with EDM mayhem and questionable remixes:
- “I don’t ever want to hear ‘Money, Power, Respect’ in EDM form.” – Rory (21:42)
- Fate, exes, and repeated life lessons:
- “If you keep running into the same lesson, it’s ‘cause you haven’t learned it yet.” – Damaris (23:06)
6. Childhood Slow Dance Songs & 80s/90s Nostalgia
[23:53–24:51]
- Everyone recalls their first slow dance songs—Amanda Perez’s “Send Me An Angel,” Tiffany’s “I Think We’re Alone Now.”
- “That was the first song I ever slow danced to.” – Rory (23:57)
- “What’s the greatest... I think we’re alone now.” – Maul (24:06)
7. Rory Visits His Jamaican ‘Adopted Family’
[24:54–26:33]
- Catching up, nostalgia, and funny photos.
- “Watching you in that picture was like watching Tom Cruise in The Last Samurai. You was the last bumble clot.” – Maul (25:14)
8. Growing Up White in a Black Family, Police Stories
[26:41–27:14]
- Rory tells stories about the cops constantly hassling him for living with a Jamaican family:
- “The cops would bring me into the back of the car like ‘What are you doing in there?’ I live there!”
Major Music Talk
9. Cardi B – “Imaginary Players” Single Discussion
[28:08–36:38]
- Rory’s honest take:
- “I do like the record... she was talking. I think it’s a cool girl version.” – Rory (28:26)
- Damaris: loves Cardi’s “fashion” flexes and the beat choice.
- Maul’s critique:
“Something about the record doesn’t feel authentic… feels too coached. I didn’t believe what she was saying in it.” (31:08)
- Maul takes issue with Cardi’s delivery as being too “read” and over-enunciated.
- Damaris attributes Cardi’s delivery to her accent:
- “I think recording songs is a little bit harder for her because she’s been criticized in the past for her pronunciation not being that great…” (34:26)
- Comparison to Jay-Z’s style on the original “Imaginary Player.”
- Speculation about album singles and potential features:
- “I think we’re gonna get another single with a big feature before the album.” – Rory (38:01)
Hip Hop & Culture Roundup
10. Ice Spice in Spike Lee’s new film (with Denzel Washington)
[41:02–45:22]
- Shock at Ice Spice’s acting debut:
- “Why did nobody tell me Ice Spice is acting next to Denzel Washington?” – Rory (41:14)
- Jokes about whether Spike Lee or Martin Scorsese knows any rappers, or casts based on publicists’ pitches.
- “Do you think Spike Lee knew who Ice Spice was?” – Rory (42:55)
- “She ain’t an underground rapper, y’all.” – Damaris (44:24)
11. Movie Recommendations & NYC Hack Tips
[45:51–50:55]
- Brief talk about “Weapons” and “F1” movies.
- Extended tangent on sneaking into movies and riding NY buses for free:
- “You can literally just walk right past the driver.” – Maul (49:14)
- Nostalgic stories of fare evasion.
Personal Anecdotes & Listener Voicemails
12. Wild Dad Stories & Baseball Games
[50:55–53:00]
- Maul’s uncle falsely tells baseball players he has cancer to get signatures.
- Rory/Both: “Everybody has the same dad.”
13. Voicemail: Family Feuds
[111:44–117:07]
- Listener asks what to do about not talking to her twin-cousin for 10 years.
- “Some people don’t grow out of who they are.” – Damaris (116:11)
- “Just tell your family, stop calling me when she’s on the phone.” – Maul (114:36)
- Damaris suggests: Make everyone uncomfortable, openly state “I don’t fuck with her.”
14. Voicemail: Leaving a Friend in a Bar Fight
[122:56–130:46]
- Should you bail when your friend picks a fight?
- “If I already learned my lesson, why I gotta go and learn a lesson I already learned? That’s stupid.” – Damaris (124:35)
- “It just depends on when you left. I don’t mind that you left if nothing was going on, but if it was already shaking… wrong for that.” – Maul (130:16)
Random Rapid Fire Takes & Closing LOLs
15. Garth Brooks Serial Killer Conspiracy
[84:29–87:55]
- Maul deeply recounts a conspiracy theory (originally started by Tom Segura) that Garth Brooks is a serial killer:
“I really started to be like, yo, Garth Brooks might be a serial killer. Like, every tour, every city, somebody comes up missing.” (86:04)
- Damaris and Rory egg him on, eventually realizing it's a bit.
- “Tom Segura started this rumor... the Internet ran with it.” – Maul (86:49)
16. Taylor Swift on Travis Kelce’s Podcast
[88:21–91:16]
- Jokes about being slighted as fans:
- “Why did Travis get the Taylor Swift interview before us?” – Rory (88:57)
- Loads of speculation about T-Swift’s family holidays, security, and “do celebrities stay in the house, or hotel?”
17. Yachty’s Controversial Bar
[100:49–104:47]
- Yachty’s “George Floyd” line criticized:
- “It was disrespectful… not a hard bar, just a bad bar.” – Rory (103:56)
- “Yachty, you’re sharper than that.” – Maul (101:48)
- Real talk about the difference between intent and interpretation.
Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments
- On Social Posturing:
“Pray for me. Yeah, don’t ask questions. Just prayers.”
– Damaris (04:01) - On Sports Authenticity:
“I didn’t know Frisbee was, like, a competitive sport.”
– Maul (07:53) - On the Reality of Being a Ninja:
“A ninja never reveals himself, though. You’ll never know he’s a ninja.”
– Maul (18:45) - On Life Lessons from Exes:
“If you keep running into the same lesson, it’s because you haven’t learned it yet.”
– Damaris (23:06) - On Cardi B’s Delivery:
“It just feels too… I want to say produced. It feels too coached.”
– Maul (31:08) - On Hip-Hop & College:
“What doesn’t make you hip hop about college?”
– Rory (62:27)
Additional Highlights
- Family as Friends, and Vice Versa:
- Extended “cousins” and “adopted family” stories; the line between blood and bond.
- NYC Nostalgia & Comic Wisdom:
- Old New York bus/train hacks, sneaking into movies, dads’ tall tales.
- Pop Conspiracies:
- Jokes about JonBenét Ramsey = Katy Perry, Charlie Manson’s musical talent, CIA ops at Taylor Swift’s holiday.
Closing
[134:35–End]
- The crew preps upcoming guest Bryson Tiller, debates viral dance challenges, and closes with more rapid-fire music jokes, gentle roasting, and trademark playful cynicism.
- “I’m that he’s just Ginger. Peace, man, no worrying now.” – Maul (139:09)
Time-Stamped Segment Guide
- [02:20] – Weather, Baseball, NYC Summer
- [04:06] – Social Media, Hospital Posting
- [05:16] – Odd Sports, Ninja Warrior Digressions
- [12:09] – ‘Civilians’ at Ninja Warrior Gyms
- [19:11] – Tao, EDM Party, Exes
- [28:08] – Cardi B’s “Imaginary Players” deep-dive
- [41:02] – Ice Spice acting discussion
- [84:29] – Garth Brooks conspiracy
- [88:21] – Taylor Swift & Kelseys
- [100:49] – Lil Yachty’s lyric controversy
- [111:44] – Voicemails: Family estrangement
- [122:56] – Voicemails: Bar fights & friendship
- [134:35] – Wrap-up, guests, dance challenges
Tone & Takeaways
- Tone: Unfiltered, irreverent, playful, sometimes pensive but always relatable and honest.
- Takeaways:
- Don’t fall for Internet conspiracies—or do, it’s fun.
- Not all family bonds are meant to last, and that’s okay.
- Genuine connection in hip-hop—or life—rarely comes “coached.”
- “Time is our only currency.” – Rory (16:35 et al.)
For Episode-Newcomers
If you missed the episode, you’ll return knowing Rory, Maul, and Damaris’ distinctive humor, their takes on hip-hop and pop culture, candid conversations on friends and family, and why next week’s banter will be even more random.