Episode 399 | Crack and Mac

Summary

New Rory & Mal Podcast – Episode 399 | Crack and Mac

Date: August 22, 2025
Podcast Hosts: Rory, Maul, Damaris

Episode Overview

This episode of New Rory & Mal is a meandering, often hilarious reflection on everything from childhood gym class awkwardness to the state of pop music and the marketing of up-and-coming artists. The trio dives into off-the-rails tangents about funerals, adolescence, and cooking for significant others, ultimately landing on debates about authenticity in the music industry and the spectacle of modern boxing. It's a loosely structured, talk-heavy episode with lots of jokes, relatable nostalgia, and unfiltered commentary, making for an easygoing, feel-good listen.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Show Open and Podcast Merch (02:53–05:47)

• Rory and Damaris introduce new podcast merchandise, joking about how podcasts are always about pushing more products—merch, tours, Patreon.
• Maul reframes it as creating experiences and entertainment that listeners genuinely support:
  • “You are providing experiences and entertainment and in return, your listeners are supporting you.” (05:01)
• They riff about integrating Patreon benefits with merch and scheme on creative (and absurd) ways to boost sales and engagement.

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2. Morbid Humor & Death in the Family (07:27–13:38)

• The crew embark on a wildly dark but comedic discussion about the logistics and etiquette when someone dies at home.
• Rory ponders awkward post-passing moments:
  • “Who breaks the silence and is like, ‘Alright, so who’s gonna call?’” (10:48)
• Maul clarifies standard procedures (hospice, 911), while Damaris injects morbid humor about not wanting to be the first to call the authorities.
• They joke about the peculiarity of wakes and how modern technology (e.g., livestreamed funerals, Bluetooth in caskets) is changing the mourning process.

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3. Sneaker Drops at Your Grandma’s Funeral (13:38–16:29)

• Rory tells a story about once trying to buy John Elliott sneakers during his grandmother’s funeral, leading to a playful roast from Maul and Damaris.
• The group debates the desirability of John Elliott shoes and the tricks brands like Kith play with online appearances versus in-store reality.

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4. Can You Still Run a Mile? (16:46–21:56)

• The hosts challenge each other to mileage and athletic feats; Rory claims he can run a mile in under 8:15.
• They propose recording the challenge for Patreon, sparking friendly doubts:
  • Maul: “You’re not doing no mile in eight minutes, bro. I’m not rolling with that.” (17:56)

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5. Jumping Jacks, Puberty & Gym Class Memories (21:56–27:34)

• Spirals into jokes about people forgetting how to do basic exercises.
• Rory admits to being distracted by puberty in gym:
  • “When you was going through puberty, jumping jacks, Dom. I couldn’t do. I couldn’t do jumbo jacks. I couldn’t concentrate.” (22:34)
• The nostalgia deepens as they reminisce about adolescent sexual awakening, awkward firsts, and the sweaty, gritty reality of teenage encounters.

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6. Pubic Hair, The Bush Era & Off-the-Rails Adolescence (27:09–29:27)

• The conversation veers into TMI territory about how much more pubic hair they saw as teens, referencing generational and cultural era shifts ("Bush era").
• Maul notes the episode has already managed to go from funerals to puberty in record time.
• They jokingly connect historic eras (e.g., “the Bush era”) to personal experience.

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7. Conspiracy Jokes & 9/11 Virginity (29:27–31:27)

• They riff on 9/11 truther topics and turn it into a bit about significant milestones post-9/11.
• Damaris: “I shouldn’t be this close to someone who lost their virginity after 9/11.” (28:07)
• Light-hearted admissions about grieving and romance under surreal conditions.

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8. Home Safety, Potty Training & Parenting Stories (31:27–35:00)

• Maul describes meticulous bedroom- and bathroom-locking habits, which leads to a sidebar on apartment fire safety.
• Rory shares stories about potty training his daughter, Amar, including her love for bathroom routines sans actual results.

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9. Tyla: Pop Stardom, Marketing, and Rihanna Comparisons (40:31–51:42)

• Damaris claims Tyla was supposed to become "the next Rihanna," prompting a broader dissection on the music industry's failures to break new black pop acts.
• The group debates whether poor promo, lack of "it factor," or misunderstanding from American audiences is to blame for Tyla’s underperformance post-“Water.”
• Maul: “I just think that she’s just going through artist development in real time.” (50:55)
• Rory: “I don’t want to get personal, but… there’s always that it factor too.” (43:40)

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10. Music Industry and Black Pop Acts: Why Don’t They Break? (52:09–59:05)

• The hosts struggle to name the last genuinely new, black, female pop star America has embraced.
• Maul observes: “Pop music...for the longest has been centered toward the young teenage white girls. And young teenage white girls don’t support and push as heavy for someone they can’t...see themselves in.” (54:07)
• They posit that cross-genre records (R&B-pop) are the only formula currently working, and straight pop is no longer breaking new artists.

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11. Lil Nas X – Troll or Trouble? (59:05–64:23)

• Breaking news: Lil Nas X’s possible overdose caught on TMZ. Rory speculates it’s just another troll, given Nas X’s history of stunts:
  • “You are also the boy that cried troll. So I don’t typically believe anything you do.” (59:18, Rory)
• Damaris argues that with LAPD and TMZ involvement, maybe the concern is genuine, but all agree the lines between real struggle and rollouts are blurry in 2025.

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12. Musical Generations, Nas vs. Chief Keef & Appreciating Your Predecessors (65:35–72:28)

• Talk about Fabio Foreign not knowing Nas or Dipset, despite collaborating with legends.
• Damaris: “If you have a record with Nas, at some point…I think you should go listen to Nas’s catalog.” (70:22)
• Debates ensue about whether it’s fair to expect artists to know their roots, or if opportunism and lack of context are just part of modern music.

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13. Does Cooking for a Date Give Away Too Much Too Soon? (104:19–117:08)

• The team advises against “playing house” before commitment is on the table, particularly for women.
• Maul: “Men don’t value things they get too early and too easily.” (116:16)
• Rory and Damaris push back: “At my age, a woman trying to slow walk me to love? Not a chance.”

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14. Food Preferences, Spaghetti Debates, and Hot Sauce Trauma (95:39–103:55)

• Lively debate about the “correct” way to serve spaghetti, the authenticity of Meg Thee Stallion’s catfish-and-spaghetti meal, and the perils of hot pepper sauce in West Indian households.
• Shared stories of lying about whether partner’s food was good in order to keep the peace—or get laid.

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15. Jake Paul vs. Tank Davis – Boxing’s New Era (80:41–95:24)

• Explosive reactions to the announcement of Jake Paul vs. Tank Davis—a classic “circus meets prime” fight.
• Rory: “Congrats to the Paul brothers, by the way. If anyone wants to question anything, you have been solidified, stamped as a professional boxer for the rest of your lives.” (86:49)
• Damaris jokes about betting on Jake Paul just to see what happens due to the size and reach advantage.

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16. Relationship News – Damaris Goes Public (122:10–124:55)

• Damaris casually reveals she’s in a relationship for (apparently) the first time on the podcast, and the guys tease her about her boyfriend (“your man, your man, your man.”)
• Rory: “I appreciate that you gave that [relationship exclusive] to us. I thought you were gonna give that exclusive to Drink Champs.” (123:19)

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• On podcasting as endless sales: "I feel like podcasting has just turned into, like, how much can we get the audience to buy more?" – Rory (04:49)
• On adolescence: “Every neck was salty as a teenager. Everybody was outside dirty.” – Damaris (26:51)
• On breaking black pop stars: “When was the last new black pop act, especially female, that did well?” – Rory (53:03)
• On slow walking relationships: “At my age a woman would try to slow walk me to love? Either moving today or we not talking.” – Damaris (117:19)

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Timestamps for Key Segments

• Merch, Advertising, Life of a Podcaster: 02:53–06:41
• Morbid/Funeral Humor: 07:27–13:38
• Sneaker Drops at Funerals: 13:38–16:29
• Physical Feats Debate: 16:46–21:56
• Puberty, Childhood Gym, and Pubic Hair: 21:56–29:27
• Conspiracy/Nostalgia Tangent: 29:27–31:27
• Safety, Potty Training & Parenting: 31:27–35:00
• Tyla, Pop Music & Industry Analysis: 40:31–51:42
• Why Black Pop Acts Don’t Break: 52:09–59:05
• Lil Nas X Overdose/Troll?: 59:05–64:23
• Music Roots & Nas vs. Fivio Foreign: 65:35–72:28
• Relationship, Gender Roles & Cooking: 104:19–117:08
• Jake Paul vs. Tank Davis Reactions: 80:41–95:24
• Damaris’ Relationship Reveal: 122:10–124:55

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Tone & Style

The conversation remains light, irreverent, and filled with off-the-cuff banter. The group leans into their chemistry, mixing seriously insightful critiques (especially on music marketing and artist development) with playful roasts and sidebars about adolescence, dating, and food.

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For New Listeners

This episode is a whirlwind of inside jokes, tangents, and relatable scenarios; perfect for those who like their pop culture mixed with autobiographical storytelling, genuine hot takes, and raw, unfiltered comedy. It’s also a great showcase for the hosts’ talent at balancing critical musical discussion with everyday life commentary.

Transcript

[Maul]

This is an iHeart podcast.

[Rory]

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[Damaris]

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[Rory]

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[Maul]

No worrying now.

[Rory]

We are back. Of course we are sponsored by Boost. This episode just feels boosted. Happy end of the week. The weather is still great for white people in New York City, and I could not be more ecstatic. Is that the right ecstatic? Ecstatic.

[Damaris]

Ecstatic.

[Rory]

Ecstatic, yeah. How do you spell that? It's the same thing. Is that is the root word ecstasy.

[Damaris]

You couldn't be ecstatic without ecstasy, so it's one in the same for sure.

[Rory]

The country of origin is Long Island.

[Damaris]

Yeah. Use it in sentence. I was in Long Island.

[Rory]

I was in Deer Park.

[Damaris]

I was in Long Island. I was ecstatic to do ecstasy.

[Rory]

I was ecstatically on ecstasy.

[Damaris]

Yeah.

[Rory]

Anyways, yes, we are back. I feel like it's been a long week, but I guess it hasn't. I don't know. How are you feeling? Well, we haven't done a check in in a minute.

[Damaris]

I feel good.

[Rory]

Yeah.

[Damaris]

Yeah.

[Rory]

Got new merch out. I'm wearing it.

[Damaris]

New merch is available now.

[Rory]

Available right now, newroymal.com there's karma right there. There's wealth right there.

[Damaris]

I thought you said Carmen. Okay.

[Rory]

Carmen's always bad, though. Have you ever met like a moment.

[Damaris]

So relax just because I feel like.

[Rory]

We had this conversation.

[Damaris]

I feel like your wheels was turning and he's about to start telling a story about college and something. So just.

[Rory]

I wasn't gonna go there. I've. I've never been with a Carmen before. They're just always ecstatic people.

[Damaris]

Ecstatically ecstatic. Absolutely. Yes.

[Rory]

Just very charming.

[Damaris]

Yes.

[Rory]

Warm hearts.

[Damaris]

Absolutely.

[Rory]

But yes, we have new merchants. This is growth right here. Pause. Peach coined this the prosperity pack. I just don't know if we're going to land on that. But this is available now and you could have had it already if you were on Patreon, but, you know, if you're not, it could be sold out by now.

[Damaris]

You're a lost buddy.

[Rory]

But if you're also want to go on Patreon, you can pay $5 for the entire month and get everything ad free.

[Damaris]

Yep.

[Rory]

I'm really bad at, like, pitching new things, but yeah, we have merch.

[Damaris]

You're not pitching. You just, you know.

[Rory]

But yeah, it's a spiel. I feel like podcasting has just turned into, like, how much can we get the audience to buy more?

[Damaris]

What else?

[Rory]

Like, here's a tour, here's a T shirt, here's a Patreon, that's life.

[Maul]

Not true. You are providing experiences and entertainment and in return, your listeners are supporting you.

[Damaris]

Oh, we're making them a part of like the whole experience. They're giving them what they want.

[Maul]

They ask for these things. You don't just.

[Rory]

Well, these are great shirts, by the way. Like, the design is cool. Like, I would buy this without the podcast. I think they're just cool shirts. Yeah, but I mean, even that's feel like that's all entertainers besides, like actors. What actor? You know as like a merch line.

[Damaris]

A merchant.

[Rory]

Yo, come see me, like, do improv on Patreon on Tuesday.

[Damaris]

I feel like Tom Cruise definitely has a merch line. I feel like a mission impossible put out like a.

[Rory]

He designs all like mugs or something.

[Damaris]

Like they have some.

[Rory]

Whatever the uniforms at Scientology is you have to wear. Yeah, the one pieces. I'm sure he designs those.

[Damaris]

Yeah, Tom Cruise definitely has some merge somewhere.

[Rory]

Well, I mean, I guess rappers do it too. Like buy my shirt, buy my tickets.

[Damaris]

Or when you buy my shirt, it counts as an album sale. Remember when they tried that?

[Rory]

Yo.

[Maul]

No. Why? That don't work for us.

[Rory]

Let's. Let's scheme in real time of like the shirt. Or should we overcharge $5 on each shirt and then you automatically are in Patreon forever. And we also have your debit card number forever.

[Maul]

I feel like.

[Rory]

And then we could just take like a penny per month and then that just starts to add up throughout the years.

[Maul]

I feel like you making it more difficult than it needs to be. But extra, add an extra $5 onto the shirt and then it comes with like three months free for Patreon. I feel like if we could do that.

[Rory]

Pretty good idea.

[Maul]

Yeah.

[Rory]

Yeah. I'm not mad at. At that at all.

[Maul]

Or if we count it, if we somehow could make it count as a download so that like when we go back to renegotiate deals, we could up the numbers.

[Rory]

Yeah, marketing teams are funny. Like at labels and just in podcasting. Because you just have to like, come up with ideas that may harm your consumers. Like, no, let's do a pop up and have children show up in Union Square.

[Damaris]

How would. How would that harm you? Get children.

[Rory]

Look what happened with Guy.

[Damaris]

Nobody got harmed. No kids got harmed.

[Rory]

Really?

[Damaris]

No.

[Rory]

I know someone got like ran over by a car. Didn't get arrested. No.

[Maul]

Oh, my God. He got arrested.

[Damaris]

But nobody else. Nobody got ran over by a car. Don't put that on Kai.

[Rory]

No, I'm not trying to put I said, free.

[Damaris]

Kyle got that on Travis. That wasn't on Travis.

[Rory]

I. First of all, I defended Travis. Nah, I put that on. No, I did not.

[Damaris]

He was like, I throw festivals all the time, and we check all of the parameters, and we make sure security and the barricades are bolted into the.

[Rory]

The barricades are bolted.

[Damaris]

That's what you said. Which.

[Rory]

And I used to walk around palooza with an oxygen tank.

[Damaris]

Yeah.

[Rory]

Just. He's like, no one ever needed it, but it was on my back.

[Damaris]

Yeah.

[Rory]

Just like. It's like I was scuba diving.

[Damaris]

Just. It was you and Chance. Just in case. Just in case you had to save somebody.

[Rory]

Offset did a mass. Unalive yourself in Times Square for marketing. Marketing is great, man.

[Damaris]

Video. He was shooting a video. Don't do that. Don't do that.

[Maul]

That's terrible.

[Rory]

You were about to know, like, a mass suicide. That's just. Yeah, it was just.

[Maul]

You undergo.

[Rory]

I'm too much of a hipster to do it with a bunch of people. Like, I do it by my. Like, quiet.

[Damaris]

You'll be alone when you die. Right?

[Rory]

Yeah.

[Damaris]

Yeah. I feel you.

[Maul]

He's the only child.

[Damaris]

Yeah. No, that's why I feel. I understand. I get it. I don't know.

[Rory]

Be around people when you die. Wouldn't that feel kind of awkward?

[Maul]

It would feel mad awkward.

[Rory]

Yeah.

[Maul]

Now I want to look around and see everybody else did it.

[Damaris]

You look around and see if everybody else did it? Yeah.

[Maul]

Like, you know how you supposed to jump off the boat at the same time? I want to 3 jump. Like, I'm looking over to see if you actually jump. No.

[Damaris]

Just got to do it. Just got to go for it.

[Rory]

You saw what Jim Jones had everyone drink the Kool Aid and then was there just chilling around a bunch of dead bodies.

[Damaris]

That was crazy.

[Rory]

He had a whole different batch.

[Damaris]

Jesus Christ.

[Rory]

But, I mean, I guess the dream would be to be on your deathbed surrounded by your family, but I don't even know if I would want that. That's awkward, too.

[Maul]

That's bad awkward.

[Rory]

Like, just staring at it. Like, all right, well, this is it. And they're just looking at you. And, like, you're supposed to say something profound. And then, like, when I die, like, what? They're gonna be talking about my back. Like, what happens? That's just weird. Now staring at my bad.

[Maul]

Like, you're dead. Like, your back no longer exists.

[Damaris]

That is true. How do you know that's true, too.

[Maul]

I ain't never seen a dead back. Like, your back no longer exists. Nobody.

[Damaris]

I've never seen a dead back.

[Maul]

Nobody will ever stand behind.

[Damaris]

I've never seen a dead back. You've never seen a dead back? Rory, when last time you seen a dead back?

[Rory]

I've seen a dead big back before. You've never seen a dead back before?

[Maul]

No. When's the last. You've never seen the back of somebody that's dead? When you think about it, they're always laying down. Their back is to the bed or to the.

[Rory]

I've seen people laid out in the street, face first.

[Maul]

Oh, well, God hasn't brought that upon my vision. I haven't seen that.

[Damaris]

You never seen a dead body? No, I've never seen it, like, outside of a funeral. For real? You from, like, the. I feel like the murder rate where.

[Rory]

You from is kind of, like, worse than here.

[Maul]

It is very. It is very high, but I tend to try to avoid situations like that. I've never seen a dead body.

[Rory]

Well, I was like, I've seen a daddy. I wasn't, like, trying.

[Maul]

I've seen somebody get shot. I didn't stay around to see if they made it or not. Okay, this is dim, guys. It's. It's Friday.

[Rory]

Like, have you guys ever had somebody, like, die in your house? Because I wouldn't know what that process is like. Because one of my close friends, I remember his grandmother passed when we were in high school, and she, like, died in the room. She slept across the hall from him. And he was like, yeah, Granny died there. And I was like, what is. Like, what did y'.

[Damaris]

All.

[Rory]

What do you do?

[Maul]

Well, you caught. We called 91 1, and they. The paramedics come and take them.

[Damaris]

They come. They check the pulse, make sure she's, you know, the person's actually deceased.

[Rory]

Well, like, they knew she was. It wasn't, like, a sudden death. Yeah. Like, they were surrounded the same way I was saying something I would never want. They were surrounded, like, watching her die.

[Maul]

Well, hospice. The hospice usually has people that handle that. But if it's sudden, then you call 911 and the paramedics are coming.

[Rory]

Well, yeah, I know sudden, obviously.

[Maul]

Yeah, but no hospice handles.

[Rory]

I know. Stop, drop, and roll. I know, like, all that stuff, but.

[Damaris]

Like, if I'm dropping roll, somebody dies.

[Rory]

No, there's all the things you're taught as a kid. Call 911-stop-drop, and roll.

[Damaris]

Plus, I just wouldn't know, like, somebody dies, you just start rolling. What the are you doing? Like, that's not gonna bring you.

[Rory]

All right. And this is just how my Brain works. Like, how awkward would it be? Like, who breaks the silence and is like, all right, so who's gonna call? Like, if you just slowly watch a loved one die of old age and you're all around her bed in your house, like, and it's quiet and it's like, oh, she's finally gone. Who, like, breaks the silence and is like, all right, well, I guess I'll call before it smells.

[Maul]

Well, most people have, like, couth, so they just step out the room and make the call. They don't announce it to everyone.

[Rory]

That's awkward.

[Damaris]

The other person making a call while the person is not really dead yet. And you call and he's like, yo, I'm still alive. Like, I'm not dead. You're like, yeah, granny gone granny. Like, I'm. No, I'm not. I'm just fell asleep.

[Rory]

Yankees play at 7. You're not making it to the next day.

[Damaris]

Yeah, you.

[Rory]

So let's just get you in there now. You'll probably die in the ambulance.

[Damaris]

Yeah, you gotta have the pastor or the preacher in there.

[Rory]

All right, but who makes that call? Like, the eldest son, the ne.

[Maul]

The next. Next. The next of kin, whoever they designate, like, as a caretaker. Yeah, usually the person with, you know, common sense but also feelings. Like. Yeah, not you. I wouldn't have you be the person to call for me.

[Rory]

I have a lot of feelings.

[Maul]

You would call first. You would call immediately.

[Rory]

Yeah, because, like, what, you just don't want to just be there?

[Maul]

It takes a body a while before it starts smelling.

[Rory]

No, I know that, but, like, there's just a dead body. And, like, does everyone go to the living room and wait, or do we wait next to the body? Yeah, these are, like, questions that I. I have.

[Maul]

Well, most people would just leave. How long would you feel comfortable being in a room with your dead loved one? This is crazy for top of the episode talk, but how long would you feel comfortable?

[Rory]

I don't know. I mean, I've. I've been to plenty of wakes where we just were chilling.

[Damaris]

Yeah, but wakes. Wakes are different, though, that, like, the casket is open. Yeah, but it's like we had a funeral home. Yeah.

[Maul]

Like, the refrigerator ain't downstairs.

[Damaris]

We're not in the house. We're not in the. In the bedroom. Like at a funeral home. Yeah, Go out in the lounge, chill. Like, funeral homes now are really nice. Like, some funeral homes, they got like. Like first person shooter on the. On the casket, like that camera. Like, you can sit out, like, in the hall, like a. Gopro like, it's like, oh, shit.

[Rory]

See from her perspective.

[Damaris]

Yeah, Bluetooth in the casket. Like, it's crazy.

[Maul]

They be having the big screens with the, like, with it playing. Oh, my God, I was at a funeral that was being live streamed and I looked up and I was on the screen. I'm like, I ain't even supposed to be here for. I'm not even supposed to know. And y' all got me on the.

[Damaris]

Big screen, supposed to be at the funeral.

[Maul]

Certain you ain't supposed to know. You know what I'm saying? Like, I ain't even supposed to know this.

[Damaris]

Find out who know who at a funeral. That's a fact.

[Rory]

Wear a mask without Covid in there. I don't want to be seen.

[Damaris]

I don't think a mask will do anything for you, Rory. Like, if you have a mask on, I'm like, that's Rory.

[Rory]

It wouldn't be like, nobody's ever thought like, yo, was it you was there?

[Damaris]

Like, I'm like, I saw Rory as soon as he walked in. I wouldn't say, yo, Rory was there. Like, yeah, I saw him right there.

[Rory]

After my grandmother's wake on the way. Because we did the wake and the funeral the same day. So to the church, as I was getting in, like, with the, you know, your little funeral thing, I held up traffic because I was trying to get these John Elliott sneakers because they dropped right at. At noon, and then I kind of.

[Damaris]

Were trying to get John Elliott sneakers as soon as they dropped. Yeah, like you've done that in your life before.

[Rory]

Yeah.

[Damaris]

Why?

[Rory]

Because I like the sneakers. It was literally during my grandmother's funeral.

[Damaris]

But do they usually sell out or something?

[Rory]

Yeah.

[Damaris]

Oh, okay.

[Maul]

So you've done that.

[Damaris]

I just never seen a bunch of people wearing John Elliot sneakers to where I would have to be on the link as soon as it drops to get them.

[Rory]

Like, all right, my brain works weird, but can we just take a second to look at what mall was disgusted by that. I actually tried to get sneakers online. Not that I did it during my grandmother's funeral and held up traffic.

[Maul]

He's like, oh, you tried to buy, reach out?

[Rory]

Yeah, like, do that. Like, no, why don't you just talk to Mr. Elliot?

[Damaris]

Yeah, like, I. I just never knew that.

[Rory]

Why don't you text John?

[Damaris]

Like, people do that for Jordans or like, you know, certain new Balances, like, for the John Elliott's. I never knew that was a.

[Rory]

They have. They have. Good job.

[Damaris]

I'm not saying they don't. I just didn't know that there was a mass of people waiting for them to drop. So.

[Rory]

Because at one point, this was. This was years ago. This was like during Company.

[Maul]

Nah, Peach, pull up John Elliott sneakers for me.

[Rory]

That at that time, John Elliott, even with clothes like you could. It was like a 15 minute window to even get them. Now they started like mass producing, but.

[Maul]

Those shits is on the real. Real for $30.

[Rory]

Okay, well, those. That's not what I was trying to.

[Damaris]

Those are not John Elliott sneakers.

[Rory]

First of all, I'm still laughing at most disgust that I did. Not that it was at a funeral.

[Damaris]

No, not that he held that. But I was stuck with the like word, like for the drop. Like, you had to be online. I never knew that.

[Maul]

Which ones were they, Rory?

[Rory]

Those brown ones right there. That. Those exact ones.

[Maul]

Them kind of ass. I wouldn't have held up my grandma.

[Rory]

They look great in person. They're great tennis shoes.

[Damaris]

They look great in person. Saying that for sneakers is.

[Rory]

They look great on my foot.

[Damaris]

They look great in. No, you got to like, hold it. You got to like hold the shoe.

[Rory]

And like, really, like, when you're looking at sneakers online, you don't scroll to the part where it's on somebody's foot.

[Maul]

For sure.

[Rory]

Because that makes a difference. The amount of time. And this isn't a slight to Kith because it's. They do it with all brands. Kith has the best photographer of all time. The amount of times they've tricked me on their Instagram or on their site, and then I've went to that store and went, no, these are ass. Yeah, you gotta. You get tricked. John Elliott does the opposite.

[Damaris]

So you saw those on the. On the.

[Rory]

It was like, no, because I had the all white ones and they were. They were dropping the brown ones the following year. And I love the all white ones. So I was like, oh, I could add a little bit of earth tones to my repertoire there, you know, like, gotcha. It was ecstatic. But, you know.

[Damaris]

No, I never met somebody that was just like stacking the John Elliott sneakers, though. I never. I never knew that. Serious. I never knew that was a thing I wanted.

[Rory]

For Christmas, I want to buy you some John Elliott boots. And I promise you they'll be your favorite boots.

[Damaris]

Okay, we'll see.

[Rory]

I won the Ninja Warrior poll, which I didn't even know we had one until earlier either.

[Maul]

I'm lying. I voted for myself.

[Rory]

Voting for yourself is crazy. UMG voted for Damaris.

[Maul]

They think Rory is like a athlete still.

[Rory]

I'm glad you put still on there? Because I was about to get a little upset. Yeah, you used to be an athlete.

[Maul]

You know how hang on to high school and college.

[Rory]

You 40 years old, 35.

[Damaris]

That's Al Bundy.

[Rory]

I'm not Al Bundy.

[Damaris]

He used to poke high. Like he's still talking about them touchdowns.

[Rory]

I mean, I was good. Yeah.

[Damaris]

Yeah. No, at one point, yeah, I was.

[Rory]

I've been in the park a lot lately, though. I'm getting my. My mileage up.

[Damaris]

What are you doing in the park?

[Maul]

Playing with Amar.

[Damaris]

I've been in the park a lot. Doing what?

[Rory]

Running at the track. I'm not like doing sprints, but I'm running around.

[Damaris]

Okay.

[Rory]

I got a mile and a half. Pretty easy now.

[Damaris]

Okay.

[Maul]

He was about to say easy. He said pretty easy.

[Rory]

Yeah, pretty easy.

[Damaris]

How long. How. How long is your mile? Like, how long does it.

[Rory]

Oh, I don't time.

[Damaris]

I'm definitely not.

[Rory]

I'm definitely not there yet.

[Damaris]

Okay.

[Rory]

But when I'm on the treadmill, like, I'll keep it at like a eight minute pace.

[Damaris]

I. I could do eight minutes a mile.

[Rory]

I think I could run under a. I could. Let me not.

[Damaris]

Yeah. Let me not lie to myself to say, dog, you're not doing no mile in eight minutes, bro. I'm not rolling with that. No way.

[Maul]

I run a 16 minute mile, so I ain't talking about nobody.

[Rory]

I think. I think I could run a. Under A.Under 8:15.

[Damaris]

You think you could run a mile in under. Under eight minutes?

[Rory]

Yeah. At one point, I was easy. Six minute mile.

[Maul]

@ one point, this thing.

[Rory]

Yeah, but like, it's like riding a bike.

[Damaris]

No, it's not. It's nothing.

[Rory]

So you have a whole different body.

[Damaris]

It's nothing like riding a bike.

[Rory]

I think I could do it. I'm down for Patreon.

[Damaris]

Eight minutes.

[Rory]

Eight minutes.

[Damaris]

Yeah.

[Maul]

Okay, we can do that. This Patreon, this. I don't have my. I don't have my John Elliott camera.

[Damaris]

I don't have my John Elliott running the mileage.

[Rory]

That'd be sick. We could do it. We could do it next week. And. And you can. I won't even have time to train this weekend, so.

[Damaris]

Eight minutes.

[Rory]

Eight minutes. Oh, well. Under 8:15.

[Damaris]

Between 8:15.

[Rory]

Because I wanted to say under eight minutes, but I don't know if I want to play myself yet.

[Damaris]

So 15. We got to give you the 15.

[Rory]

Seconds between eight minutes and 8:15. Yeah.

[Damaris]

Okay.

[Maul]

All right. You sure you don't just want to take that eight and a half? Like between eight and Eight and a half.

[Rory]

Nah. Come on.

[Maul]

All right, cool. You had an apple watch. Because I'm a track it. Huh?

[Rory]

You can just be there.

[Maul]

I'm. I would have to run with you to make sure you ran the mile.

[Rory]

No, it's. It's a track. It's four laps around the track.

[Maul]

Okay. Yeah, that makes sense. I don't know why I was thinking we was running, like, the city. No, I was thinking about him, like, running through New York City.

[Rory]

He's going to follow me in your car.

[Damaris]

New York City. What? You was going, like, how you going to count them out?

[Maul]

Like, that's why I said he got to wear a apple watch.

[Damaris]

If you take Houston, that's. That's a quarter mile. If he busted left on Broadway, that's enough.

[Rory]

I got to wait for lights flow.

[Damaris]

Like, how you.

[Rory]

Track. Lower east side would go to.

[Maul]

Oh, okay.

[Rory]

And I. I figured we would film it. There's nothing fun about just like, yo, I did it.

[Damaris]

No, you got to film that. Yeah, you got to film that.

[Rory]

We have a GoPro, right? That'd be the worst footage ever. Just hearing me breathe.

[Damaris]

Wow. Sweat on the lens. Yeah. N.

[Rory]

Yeah.

[Damaris]

Okay, that's not bad.

[Rory]

Which would just prove that I would. I would win the Ninja warrior.

[Damaris]

That doesn't.

[Rory]

That's just me training for it for when it's time, because 55.6 people think that I could do it.

[Damaris]

You're gonna be at that wall for about four minutes alone trying to get up that wall. Because that's the last, like, that's the. After everything. After all the whole course, you got to run up that wall.

[Rory]

But because I can do an 8 minute mile, I'll have the endurance. That's like the last leg that I could just get there. But now I also be in the park doing all the prison workouts with the. On the bars. And yeah, I'm like, trying to get back in shape.

[Damaris]

He'd be doing monkey. He on the monkey balls. Come on. What you be doing on the bar? You're not doing no pull ups. You're not doing.

[Rory]

You don't think I can do a pull up?

[Damaris]

No, I'm saying you're not. You not at the. You're not at the park doing that with everybody working out. Like, you're not you in the Cipher, like, it's like, all right, you on the bar next.

[Rory]

Yes.

[Damaris]

Okay. Fire.

[Maul]

I don't believe you, dog.

[Rory]

On Amara. Yes. That's the park where, y' all know, next to my crib, next to the track, they have that like, you know the area with all the bars and shit? Yeah. Not a fucking playground, a real bar.

[Damaris]

All right, so you over there getting okay, I'm trying. All right.

[Rory]

Why can't y' all believe that I don't work out with people? You're doing jumping jack? No, I don't do jumping jacks, but that is a great way to warm up.

[Damaris]

But.

[Rory]

And I think that's. I. I think you on jumping jacks is a little weird.

[Maul]

On jumping jacks, I asked if you be doing them.

[Damaris]

The matters. You could do jumping jacks?

[Maul]

Yeah, I could do jumping.

[Damaris]

Damaris can't do no jumping jack.

[Maul]

Ma want me to embarrass myself on.

[Damaris]

Camera because he gets. I didn't say do it. Now.

[Maul]

Why would you not believe I know how to do a jumping jack?

[Damaris]

I don't think you know because a lot of people. You'll be surprised. A lot of people don't know how to do jumping J jacks. You would be surprised.

[Maul]

I could do a jumping jack. I know how to do a proper push up.

[Damaris]

Like, I. Yeah, I'm not believing that, man.

[Maul]

You don't think I can do a jumping or jumping.

[Damaris]

A lot of people don't know how to do jumping jacks. I'm telling you. Ask your homegirls to do a jumping jack next time.

[Maul]

Now I have, like. Now I'm like. I'm like, am I doing jumping jacks?

[Damaris]

All right, look, there's a couple of home girls. I love seeing those online when they be like, yo, we just realized. We never seen, like, couples, but y' all just realized, I never seen my boyfriend run full speed. And then they do it in front of each other and they look bogus as. No, no, no. You about to do a jumping jack.

[Rory]

Do not hit the light above you.

[Maul]

It's a jumping jack.

[Rory]

Like, who don't knew how to do a jumping jack?

[Damaris]

A lot of people don't.

[Maul]

I don't understand how you could do a jumping jack. Wrong. That's what's confusing.

[Damaris]

Yo, Damaris, trust me, people be don't know how to do jumping jacks. What you just did, People be like, oh, that's how you do it. Anybody. It's going be like, yo, like, where.

[Rory]

Do they grow up?

[Damaris]

I'm telling you, people don't know how to do jumping.

[Maul]

Y' all never had gym class.

[Rory]

Listen, when you was going through puberty, jumping jack, Dom. I couldn't do. I couldn't do jumbo jacks. I couldn't concentrate. Oh, because it's the girls Started getting titties. They was going through puberty. Even get a bra yet. Just titties everywhere.

[Damaris]

I was never that horny.

[Rory]

Yeah, I was. First of all, it's a scientific thing I couldn't control because I was going through puberty. I mean, we all did not see the puberty movie.

[Damaris]

We all went, no, I didn't see that movie, but we all went through puberty.

[Maul]

Movie.

[Rory]

It was a puberty movie in school.

[Damaris]

You had to watch it.

[Rory]

Yeah.

[Damaris]

Oh, I probably. They probably showed us that. I don't remember. I don't know.

[Rory]

It wasn't like, fifth grade. It was young. Young. Yeah, it was. No one remembers the puberty movie.

[Damaris]

It was called the puberty Movie, I think.

[Rory]

I don't know if that title, per se.

[Damaris]

Yeah, I don't. I don't remember ever seeing the puberty. Yeah, I remember watching that one. Yeah.

[Rory]

Maybe that's the one I'm talking about. I think birth was in there. It was like, sort of health class type.

[Damaris]

Yeah, it was like sex ed.

[Rory]

Yeah, but it was like the first one, and they showed you a movie. They separated, like, girls and boys. Girls watched it in another room.

[Damaris]

Yeah. And then came out. The room was like.

[Rory]

Exactly. You was. All right, that's not being horny. That's just being, like, figuring out yourself if you're 13 and you're seeing, like, titties for the first time. For real? Yeah. You're not like, oh, wow, what are those? Like, I like jumping jacks now way more than I thought I did.

[Damaris]

No, I never had that moment. I'm sorry. Sorry, Rory.

[Rory]

Apparently, you guys just wanted to do the. The parachute thing and sit under it. Just want to be on your little scooter things, not looking at titties. Y' all weren't cool.

[Damaris]

I just wasn't looking at girls in my school, like, what are those? No, sorry.

[Rory]

No, I mean, I knew what they were, but, like, not to women my age.

[Damaris]

You were thinking, you'll put them in my mouth. That's what you was thinking.

[Rory]

I wouldn't have been upset about it.

[Damaris]

You, like, he was definitely the only white boy. Definitely was. The horny white boy.

[Rory]

It's a scientific thing you can't control.

[Damaris]

That's true. No, you can control it. Don't say you can't control it. You can control kids.

[Maul]

Kids.

[Rory]

Kids can't control it.

[Damaris]

Your horniness.

[Rory]

What, you mean you never.

[Maul]

Teenage boys can't control. Teenage boys can't.

[Rory]

You was never Rock hardened.

[Maul]

They can control their actions, but the actual horniness, they can't control.

[Rory]

You never got hard in classy. See, this is where I just, like, stop believing. First of all, y' all never looked at titties in school. Now, you guys never got hard in school.

[Damaris]

I don't have it. No, not. I never said not in school. It's just that in class.

[Rory]

That's crazy.

[Damaris]

I was definitely in the staircase doing some things with, you know, shorty that we probably wasn't supposed to be doing during lunch break, but, you know, held it down.

[Maul]

What is it with teenage kids and staircases? Like, I just.

[Rory]

Only place to go.

[Damaris]

It's the only way else.

[Rory]

You're the auditorium.

[Damaris]

Yeah. Behind, like, stage left.

[Rory]

Yeah.

[Damaris]

Behind the curtain. Yeah.

[Maul]

Y' all were too horny.

[Damaris]

No, I mean, you know, it was the girl you was dating. I was your girlfriend. It's like, let's go back there about 10 minutes.

[Maul]

No, no.

[Damaris]

On Tuesday. You never did that?

[Maul]

Hell, no. No vodka and water bottles. I never did in that in school. Nope. Y' all parents.

[Rory]

Y' all weren't scared enough for your parents. It was like some movie to me, though. I never, like, saw people.

[Maul]

No, I don't. Bro. I don't think I did plenty of bad when I in inappropriate when I was in high school, but I am terrified.

[Damaris]

So where did this take place?

[Maul]

Other people's houses. So like, friends houses.

[Damaris]

Oh, okay.

[Maul]

That. Yeah. Not school and like that. I ain't play that.

[Damaris]

Yeah.

[Rory]

You remember the first titty you sucked? Was it what you expected?

[Damaris]

It was a little salty. I remember that.

[Rory]

Yeah.

[Damaris]

I was like. I didn't. I didn't know it was an audience.

[Rory]

She was nervous. She was probably sweating.

[Damaris]

A little salty. I do remember it was a little salty. I can't remember who it was, though, but it was a little sweaty, a little salty, though. I do remember that the first neck.

[Maul]

You the for as a girl, the first neck I licked was a. That was ramen. That was.

[Damaris]

That was fall.

[Maul]

That was. That was f. For sure.

[Rory]

Y' all bring that. Like, why was that when we were teenagers, all necks were salty?

[Damaris]

Dirty in the park, sweaty and like.

[Rory]

Yeah, yeah.

[Damaris]

That's what it was.

[Maul]

When I grew up and got an adult and realized that necks were not supposed to be salty, was just like, you realized.

[Damaris]

You knew. You knew you was a dirty little kid.

[Rory]

Right. You just unlocked, like, a whole thing in my brain that I completely forgot about. Every neck was salty as a teenager.

[Damaris]

Yeah. Everybody was outside dirty.

[Rory]

But you didn't even, like, care.

[Damaris]

No. Just had to get it where you can get it.

[Rory]

I saw More pubic hair when I was a teenager than I did in my twenties to now, for sure. Like, pubic hair was, like, a thing of my teenage life, which is the. Is the weirdest thing when you think about it.

[Damaris]

Yeah, it wasn't even pubic hair. It was just like. That was it. That was the. Yeah, that was just like, the basic model right there.

[Rory]

Well, you know, ma.

[Maul]

From the era. The bush.

[Damaris]

What you mean, from the era? Like, I'm. What era is that?

[Rory]

Yeah, we. We're from the Bush era, but he's from the Bush era.

[Damaris]

Like, bush first bush, not the second bush.

[Rory]

You're from senior.

[Damaris]

His father. Yeah, his father. Not his son. His father. I'm from that era. Yeah, definitely. Definitely from that era. Absolutely.

[Maul]

This is the most off the rails. We started off with funeral talk, and now we talking about puberty. We y' all on this weekend? I know my brain is on vacation, so I. I don't know.

[Rory]

I like this calm episode today. It's been a lot going on the last two weeks, and we have nothing to talk about, so I'm cool talking about bushes.

[Damaris]

Okay.

[Maul]

Okay.

[Damaris]

9 11, go.

[Maul]

Go get him.

[Damaris]

Started talking about bushes. Go ahead. 9 11, go. And we're off.

[Rory]

I mean, lost my virginity shortly after. You lost.

[Damaris]

You lost your virginity after 9 11?

[Rory]

Damn.

[Damaris]

2004, bro.

[Maul]

I just said that. You get mad when I say it.

[Damaris]

Yeah, but when you say like that, like, y' all lost my virginity after 9 11. We shouldn't even be this close sitting next to each other. I shouldn't be this close to somebody that lost their virginity after 9 11. You know what I was doing on 9 11? Like, you know what I was doing 910 that night before What? Oh, my God.

[Rory]

How. How quickly did you have sex after 911 since you were, like, of age?

[Damaris]

Well, because you're grieving and, you know, it was, like, a somber mood. Probably, like, 9 12.

[Rory]

Okay. At least you took the day.

[Damaris]

Yeah. Cause everybody was kind of still panicking. 911 people didn't know.

[Rory]

Is that your way in there? Like, yo, how you doing with everything that's going on?

[Damaris]

It's like, yo, it's crazy. The world is like, I don't know what's next. Like, yo, close that door. Lock that door.

[Rory]

Yeah.

[Damaris]

Remember, lock the door.

[Rory]

If we gotta go out, lock the door. At least I'm with you.

[Damaris]

Girl used to say, lock the door. That's almost like putting the hair in a ponytail. It's the same thing. Lock the door. Yes.

[Maul]

I still lock doors, and I live Alone?

[Damaris]

You lock doors? Do you live alone?

[Rory]

Why?

[Maul]

I don't know.

[Damaris]

Not your front door. Not your. Obviously I'm talking about like, you.

[Maul]

You know what's crazy? I'll lock the bedroom door and leave.

[Damaris]

My front door open so the nigga could get in. He just can't get in your room. So the rapist could get in. He just can't access your room.

[Maul]

I go to sleep with my doors locked. Now. My apartment is smaller, but when I lived in Jersey, yeah, I locked my doors. I locked my bedroom door every night. You could break in and steal, but you ain't taking this. You could break in and steal, but me and my coochie is staying in this room. Locked.

[Damaris]

So. All right, so when you use the bathroom, you lock the door?

[Maul]

Yes. At night time? Yes. Because what if they got in and I go to use the bathroom and they scared so they like, are hiding and I don't know that they're in there.

[Damaris]

Damaris, you know, a will kick that bathroom door clean off the like.

[Maul]

But I have more time though. I have more time. I have. My front door is when I go to sleep, my front door is locked.

[Damaris]

Okay.

[Maul]

But yeah, no, I don't play that shit.

[Damaris]

I lock my bedroom door.

[Maul]

You supposed to sleep with your bedroom door closed Anyway, so the fires don't get you. Like, if your house catch on fire. Wait, that's real.

[Damaris]

No, it's not.

[Rory]

911. Stop dropping room. Lock your door, Josh.

[Damaris]

Lock your door.

[Maul]

No, not lock.

[Damaris]

Close your door so the fire don't get you.

[Maul]

Yes, if the rest of your house catches on fire, it will spread slower if your doors are closed. That's scientific fact.

[Rory]

See that? Okay.

[Maul]

Yeah. So you're supposed to sleep with your door closed.

[Damaris]

Yes, I think my building has those type of, like it's designed like all the air pulls out, like. Cause if I open my living room or bedroom window, like the air from the hallway, you could hear it coming from the. Yeah, I think they started designing buildings like that for fires and smoke and shit like that. Everything I could smell when homie cooking 12 doors down. Oh, I like that. If I open my window because everything pulls from the hallway. Like as soon as you open it, you can hear like, you could actually hear like the wind. It's great. It's crazy.

[Rory]

What about jet fuel?

[Damaris]

Well, jet fuel burns slower.

[Rory]

Okay. You think I could take your building down though?

[Damaris]

My building?

[Rory]

Yeah. Ah, yeah. I don't think scientifically.

[Damaris]

Yeah, scientifically still. Beam passports stay intact though. Everything else is melted. But the passports, the Right thing.

[Rory]

Right on Hudson Street.

[Damaris]

Right.

[Rory]

Perfectly with the stamp. Right on it.

[Damaris]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Rory]

But Jamaris, I do feel like a person that was ambitious enough to try to break into your house and do something to you. I don't think a bedroom door lock would stop them.

[Maul]

But most people aren't breaking into your house. Well, I mean, I'm a woman, so there is a heavy possibility. But the majority of the people who break into your house are trying to break into your house to steal. So it's like, steal. But don't, like, be afraid of me when you're, like, going to steal and then have to fuck with me. Because now if my door is locked, I have time to load up.

[Damaris]

But why don't you close your bathroom door in your house and you use it in the bathroom? I don't.

[Maul]

It's literally just habit. Okay, it's habit, but, you know, it's crazy. If people are there, I'll with the door open and talk to them.

[Damaris]

Yo, she's like, if you in my living room, so you by yourself, you close the door. Yeah. But if you got company, door stays open. I need to holla at y'. All.

[Maul]

We have a conversation.

[Damaris]

Okay.

[Rory]

I have a two year old that shutting the bathroom door, never gonna happen.

[Damaris]

That's. Yeah, that's like having a puppy.

[Rory]

The concept of. Of children in the bathroom is the funniest thing. Like, if Amar is doing, like, playing with a toy and I go use the bathroom, she'll just bring the toy and then continue to play with it while I'm defecating.

[Damaris]

Yeah, yeah.

[Rory]

Or just have a conversation with me. Like, everything's. You don't have to be in there more, I promise. No, but you'll be fine out there.

[Damaris]

She's trying to have a moment. She's like, okay, you're sitting down. Because they just think you're sitting down. They don't know that you're like. They don't know that you're taking the. They just think, oh, he's sitting down. Okay, this is the sitting room. Yeah. Let me. This is the sitting room, not the shitting room. Oh, yeah, the sitting room. Yeah.

[Rory]

She. I cannot get her to potty train for the life of me. She loves to sit up on the thing. Like, I'll read her potty books, and then she'll ask for a tissue, get off and flush the toilet and put the seat down. Like, she loves the process, but literally will just refuses to use the bathroom.

[Damaris]

She loves going and just sitting there.

[Rory]

Just. Yeah, she. Because I have the thing that goes on top of the toilet, like with the steps. Okay, she does that. And Ms. Rachel put out a potty time thing. So I was like, oh, here's a cheat code. Maybe Ms. Rachel will teach it. Now she just knows things in the bathroom. She's like, daddy, get the plunger. And I'm like, for what? You don't even know what that. You just know in the bathroom.

[Damaris]

Get the pliers, get the wrench. What with. No.

[Rory]

And I love Ms. Rachel, but it's just. Yeah, it's not happening. But I mean, I don't know. When are you supposed to be potty trained?

[Damaris]

That depends. Like, I, you know, a lot of parents, they on forums and they read things like, oh, my kid is not potty trained yet. He's three. It's like, okay, this. He's just not potty trained yet. That doesn't mean your kid is slow. Anything like that. Like, I don't know what the exact age is. Some pick it up early, some pick it up later on.

[Rory]

It's.

[Maul]

It's really up to the parents and their dedication to getting potty trained. Some people, it's just easier. Like, that's a process. That process is annoying. It can get messy. So sometimes people take their time on it. I know kids that were potty trained. I think my goddaughter was potty trained by 13, 14 months.

[Rory]

I thought so.

[Maul]

She couldn't. She couldn't.

[Damaris]

13 years old. No.

[Rory]

13, 14.

[Maul]

Yo.

[Rory]

I didn't know where he was about to take us. I was like, I appreciate you being so understanding that Amar is not potty training.

[Damaris]

14 years old, she learned how to use the bathroom. Holding.

[Rory]

You just turned 13, 13 months being potty trained. This crazy. Some people aren't even walking at that.

[Maul]

She had the cute. No, she. She was walking. She had the. And even before she was walking. So before she was able to walk, when her mother knew, like, when she had to use the bathroom, she had like, tos, she would sit her on, like, the cute little, you know, the little toddler potties she on there. So she. That became synonymous with, like, whenever I have this feeling, I'm sitting on this potty. So she kept using that, kept using that. Eventually, when she could, like, fully, fully walk, when she had to use the bathroom, she would go and use it. The little tiny ones that's in the corner.

[Rory]

Me asking Amar about not potty training but using the bathroom, I think has taught her how to do her first lie. Cuz now when I ask her if she's pooping. She'll go, no. Like, but she's poop. No. Now you're lying right now.

[Damaris]

I could smell it. I could smell it. I could literally smell it. You're taking a. It's okay.

[Rory]

Anyways, with that being said, Tyler's first album.

[Maul]

This is such a Patreon esque episode.

[Rory]

Very much so. But I'm fine with the laid back Maul. Have you ever seen a phone plan and thought, wow, great price Every day. I feel like I ask you this every day and then a few months later you're like yo, what a surprise, the bill is higher. But finally, I wish you would listen to me after all these months. If you get Boost mobile, you pay $25 a month. Forever Unlimited talk text data starting simple at just $25 a month. Very soon one day you'll listen to me.

[Damaris]

I will one day. Visit boost mobile.com or head to your local Boost store today and get unlimited talk, text and data for $25 a month. Forever forever. 5G speeds not available in all areas After 30GB, customers may experience slower speeds. Customers will pay $25 a month as long as they remain active on the Boost Unlimited plan.

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[Rory]

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[Maul]

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[Rory]

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[Maul]

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[Rory]

We didn't get to this last week. Damaris had tweeted out that Tyler was supposed to be Rihanna and Mall agreed with her.

[Maul]

I never said that.

[Rory]

No, there's been a lot. Why has Tyler been in the news this much lately? I saw Cardi was defending her. She's just been the conversation. I haven't really understood why.

[Maul]

So what I'm assuming, I. I can only assume is that. So Tyler released, like, a little, you know, low EP with a single or two, and it's not receiving. It's. It's. It's the Cardi syndrome. It's not hitting like water. So because it's not hitting like water, people are saying that it's failing. Right.

[Damaris]

Did you just call it the Cardi syndrome?

[Maul]

The same thing you said. Like, if you. If you do so well on your first drop, anything you do after is never. She's never gonna to be able to match water. Like, it's a culture that didn't even.

[Damaris]

Go number one, did it?

[Maul]

It didn't, but it's. It's more of the how big the song was. And you guys were very surprised to hear it didn't go number one.

[Damaris]

Yeah. You know, so it definitely felt like a number one.

[Maul]

I think that. I think the issue. People. And what people on the Internet are saying, the issue is, oh, well, because she said she wasn't black, she was. Well, she didn't say she wasn't black because she said she was colored, in which are South African terms. Because she said she was colored, the black community stopped supporting her. And I'm like, that's not why her EP wasn't as successful as her last album. Like, that has not. Like, I don't know why people think that. They're like, yeah, you need the background of the black community to get big. And I'm like, it's not. That's not what's going on.

[Damaris]

To be fair, I think the EP didn't do good. I didn't even know she put an EP out.

[Maul]

And that's what I think it is.

[Damaris]

Yeah.

[Maul]

I don't think it has anything to do.

[Damaris]

The music is probably great. The EP is probably great. I just didn't even know she put an EP out.

[Rory]

All right, yeah, I see the ep. Wwp, Which. Apologies. I'm not sure what that. That means, but. Four pack, first record with Wizkid. What?

[Damaris]

Man, you're a Pete Peach. You said wwp. I don't know what that stands for. Peach. Peach said what he think it stands for.

[Rory]

What does he think it stands for?

[Damaris]

I'm not repeating it. I'm not even.

[Maul]

It stands for we want to party.

[Rory]

Okay, Gotcha.

[Damaris]

Okay. That was a little. Peach was close. Wet. Wet. That's what he said.

[Maul]

Yeah.

[Rory]

It was like the time when Chief Keef put out his first album and somebody. I think it was a Breakfast Club. Somebody asked him, like, so why'd you go with the name Finally Rich? And he was like, I don't know. I seen, like, everybody was saying Finally Famous. And I was like, yo, I'm. I'm Finally Rich.

[Damaris]

That checks out. That makes sense.

[Rory]

You said it was only Big Sean named his album Finally Famous. So Chief Geek just stumbled upon, like, the Big. She was like, oh, you. I finally. I'm Finally Rich.

[Damaris]

There you go. Yeah.

[Rory]

So Tyler saw WAP with us and was just like, well, this is wet. Wet.

[Damaris]

Yeah.

[Rory]

All right. Gotcha. Same thing. Yeah, it's her. Finally Rich.

[Damaris]

Finally Rich.

[Rory]

But why do you guys think this isn't working? And I want my flowers. It's okay if you guys want to, you know, give them to me later. You know, she's, in fact, not Rihanna the way you guys said she was. But anyway, I like Tyler, but this. I mean, I feel like water was pretty organic to start, and then they obviously worked the record, and you couldn't escape it because it's a generational song. But I don't know. Do they not know how to actually work a Tyler album?

[Damaris]

Who is she signed to?

[Rory]

She assigned to.

[Maul]

We'll pull that up.

[Rory]

Epic Records.

[Damaris]

Okay.

[Maul]

Yeah, I didn't see any. The only promotion I saw from it was Twitter saying that it did terrible. I saw no promotion.

[Damaris]

I had no idea. This came out. This was July.

[Rory]

July 25th.

[Damaris]

Yeah, I had no idea. Like, I had no idea she put out EP out in July.

[Maul]

It's giving Blame the team. Whoever the team is, it's giving Blame the Team.

[Damaris]

But even if. I mean, true, somebody obviously on that side didn't do enough to get it, you know, where it needed to be. But, I mean, this is still, like, Tyler's a. She's. Her name is Big. She's a Big She's a huge, huge artist.

[Maul]

Like people know her anything anymore. Unless you have like a seven year fan base that doesn't mean anything anymore. Well, your name as far as selling records and being a year big, it doesn't. That doesn't mean anything when it comes.

[Damaris]

But even if you don't, even if you don't stream. Well, even if you don't. I'm just saying for Tyler to have an EP out and most people not know she has an EP out, that's a problem. Yeah. Not even not saying people would download it because they know it's out and people would stream it. I'm not saying that, that. But people should know she has an EP out.

[Maul]

Agree.

[Damaris]

I mean, I think if you have the success she's had with in the last couple years, I mean, how could you not know that that artist is putting the EP out? I just. Something is not. Something is off there.

[Rory]

I mean is. It has 23 million streams on Spotify. So I don't know like what if that's based off more playlisting or anything. But that's not like terrible.

[Damaris]

But that's metrics. No, that's. She. But I'm just saying people. I just don't. I. You didn't know she put an EP out.

[Rory]

No.

[Damaris]

You are, you are actively putting out music. Like you somebody that knows when music is coming out. That's what I'm saying. People like that should not be oblivious to the fact that Tyler has an EP out. Like something is. Something is awkward there. Like something's like, why don't people know that Tyler has an EP up?

[Rory]

I mean, I don't want to like get personal, but when we were having that conversation of the Rihanna versa and. And her having like remnants of Rihanna's early career with a big record and you know, international and coming to the States to break the record, there's always that it factor too. And I'm not saying Tyler doesn't have it because I promise I really don't pay enough attention to her outside of the music to know that. But that is a thing that matters like a lot. Is that it factor that Rihanna has that personality, like that identity is that can separate you from having just incredible music and also being a pop superstar.

[Maul]

But also I wouldn't ask someone who was around from the beginning of Rihanna's career, like I was in. That was the target audience.

[Rory]

It took some time.

[Maul]

Yeah. So I'm saying I'm like that. I don't even think that matters because Rihanna's personality of Rihanna didn't come around.

[Damaris]

Hurt.

[Maul]

Rihanna. Rihanna didn't come around until around that third album.

[Rory]

Radar is when it like.

[Maul]

Yeah, I was gonna say, like, that third album when we got, like, bad Gal read that that's when she become that otherwise, she was just the cute girl from Barbados.

[Rory]

Yeah.

[Maul]

But even.

[Rory]

I mean, outside of the. The obvious with the Chris Brown incident with the Grammys, there was still. You got to know her a bit more when she started dating Chris.

[Maul]

Okay. Yes.

[Rory]

So I don't know. I just feel like Tyler doesn't have that part. And I'm not. I'm not on some time like, she's Ice, Spice or the. I don't think the clock is on for Tyler at all. Like, I think she's going to have a long career. She's super talented. But that part, to me is missing as a casual consumer. Like, as the person that's just like, oh, when's the next Tyler album coming out? All right, cool. I don't know enough about her.

[Maul]

Okay.

[Rory]

Like, even. I was not even mad. I know a lot of people got mad at Charlemagne when he. When he asked, like, the questions that Epic told him not to ask with the color. Colorism and everything. And, you know, she was looking at her team, and the team was like, don't do that. Move on. I don't know. I feel like that stuff is also important to, like, get to know this person, to have some type of identity outside of just being an amazing song writer. Like, yeah, but who are. Who are you?

[Maul]

I don't blame her team for being scared when it comes to giving up too much of who their artist is, because you can be a personality. A personality. A personality. And you say the wrong thing, and motherfuckers will cancel you. And it's a sensitive climate, so I don't blame them for being protective of. Shut. Be cute and shut the fuck up. But I do agree, in. In this same climate, you can't just be.

[Damaris]

But that's.

[Rory]

Or lean into. All right, maybe prep her better. This is where, like, artist development used to come in. And I mean, you know, it's breaking the fourth wall. A bit of where they would prep artists to say the right thing. And I'm not saying media training. Yeah. But still lean into it. Like, having an opinion. Teach us. Like, I don't think we should be telling Tyler about her culture. Tell us. Don't avoid the question. Tell us about it. Am I crazy for thinking that?

[Maul]

Yeah, you. If. If you were talking about anything else. Yes. But when it comes to race, Relations in America, we real sensitive about that shit.

[Rory]

Real sensitive, obviously, but.

[Maul]

So I don't. I don't think.

[Rory]

I'm not saying she should come in here and offend people and be like, elon is my cousin. Y' all aren't like. I'm just like, I only. Trevor Noah is the only one I identify with. I'm just saying that's a culture that she would know better than us. And I think media training can teach you the best way to tell the world about your experiences. That's. That's all. I think that's a disconnect because even with, like, Rihanna, when, you know, early in her career, she was heavy leaning into the Beijing stuff because obviously she was from Barbados, but started to get more of an American identity and herself as it went on. But that's because they let Rihanna do that. Like, they let her have a vision of what. Who she should be and what she wants to do.

[Damaris]

Ma, what do you think about Tyler.

[Maul]

About just the conversation in general or where. Where things may have gone wrong?

[Damaris]

I don't know. I just think that it's. It's still early for her. I think it's still early for Tyler. She's. She's young. I think she has a lot of opportunity left. I think that they're still trying to figure out her sound a little bit. I think this is still like a kind of like a figuring it out stage for her. She may be going through artist development in real time. Yeah, like, artists don't. Artist development is not even a thing no more. It's like, you get a record, it goes viral, label gives you a deal, put a project out, maybe get a second project out. You know what I mean? But it's like, I think Tyler, they see that she's. She can be a long career artist, and I think they're just trying to figure out her sound and things like that. Trying different things, I think. Yep. Four songs. I think, you know, it's kind of like spoon feed them. Like, just see if this works, see if that works. I think she may just be going through artist development in real time. I think they may be developing her in front of our eyes, like, and then trying to figure it out. But I think she's talented. I think she has a cool personality. I think she has a likable personality. I think people will naturally like her. I just think that she's just going through artist development in real time. I don't think that this is like any knock on her talent. I think that they're Trying to figure it out.

[Rory]

She's dope. And again, she's also 23, so she doesn't really have an identity yet.

[Damaris]

Yeah.

[Rory]

So, no, it's kind of cheap.

[Damaris]

They trying to figure it out. They're trying to figure her out.

[Rory]

If she had no talent, I would be like, all right, clock is fucking on. If it's not connecting now. And this was something that was put together just because you're pretty. Yeah, I would say clock is on.

[Maul]

She's very pretty. She's very talented. Like, I think she has. She. I think she does have.

[Damaris]

She's a star.

[Maul]

Yeah, she's a star.

[Damaris]

She's a definite star. I think the music and her sound just have to catch up to her star quality. She's a star. Like, I think if any exec is sitting in the office and they see her and they hear water and they hear these records, they're like, oh, no, we can definitely. She's a star. We just have to get, you know, the music to a certain level, get her comfortable with certain producers and things like that.

[Maul]

I don't even want to say that because her. Her first album, and that's what my tweet originally was. Tyler's first album is good. Not like, you just hear it once and it's like, oh, this is cute little music. Like, I put. I put on Tyler's first album and, like, listen to it. Like, the lyrics are good, the production is good. Like, it's a really, really good album. So that's why I was so surprised that this one didn't do as well. To be fair, I've only heard maybe two out of the four songs. It's a ep. It doesn't get the same what is.

[Damaris]

Her features, like, what is her like. Did she do records with, like, a lot of artists?

[Maul]

Not a lot.

[Rory]

You're saying her featuring on others? Yeah, not that much. I mean, I didn't particularly love, like. And I know it's going to look like more Travis Scott hate, and I promise it's not like I didn't like that they put Travis on the water remix. That was weird. I like the On My Body record with Becky G. I thought that made sense. Gna. I get Tim's. Obviously, I get she.

[Maul]

That Tim's one is my.

[Rory]

Yeah, number one.

[Maul]

That is fire song.

[Rory]

But, yeah, you're right. She hasn't really featured on a lot of. Like, I'd rather hear her on a gonna album than gonna. On her. Like, I think that would help with her visibility and her new fans and Just being more in the mix. So I'm. I'm with you. I think that would definitely be the case. But I don't know. When was the last time they. The quote, unquote industry has broken a black pop act.

[Maul]

Yeah, exactly.

[Rory]

Because that's really the question that I. When was the last. Obviously we have the legacies who are the ones, but that's been, like, kind of, I don't know, absent for how many years? Like, when was the last new black pop act, especially female, that did well?

[Maul]

Because. Yeah, because remember, Chloe had her moment when we thought she would be the one, and that didn't go the way it needed to. Yeah. I can't even. Peach are looking. Peach is looking it up right now.

[Rory]

Because, I mean, even. All right. Normani. Normani is incredible. That record with Chris Brown, forgive me for forgetting the name. I mean, I don't know what the disconnect is with Normani.

[Maul]

The woman.

[Rory]

She's gorgeous. She makes great music. I don't get it. They give her the opportunities as well. Like, it's not like she doesn't get the looks. Who's our girl? At. At Sony, Tinashe has gotten every look and talented. I don't know what the full disconnect is dope.

[Damaris]

Like, her music is good. Like, she. I think she's talented. I just don't to what Rory saying. I don't know what the disconnect is there, though. Like, I don't know why people or more people don't support us or talk about Tinasha. I think she's talented.

[Maul]

I think because pop music is centered. Pop music for the longest has been centered toward the young teenage white girls. And young teenage white girls don't support and push as heavy for someone. They don't. They can't, like, see themselves in.

[Rory]

Yeah.

[Maul]

So it's not about the talent. It's about the people who make pop music move. If they. They don't identify with you, they don't look at you and see themselves as you. Taylor Swift is so popular, not because her music is the greatest. It's because every dorky white girl looks at her and says, like, she reminds me of me. She's writing about this boy that she loves, and I just won't love her back. She reminds me of me. That's why she's as big as she is, because she's so relatable to the masses. And if you want to be big in pop, you have to be relatable to the masses. And a very beautiful black girl is not that's my opinion on it.

[Rory]

All the bigger acts, like, if you go Sza, Victoria Monet, like, all. They're all crossover R B that goes into pop, which is strange because straight pop music does not work with black female artists. I'm sorry, not female. Now I say that. Black women artists.

[Maul]

Black female artists.

[Rory]

It's okay. That's okay. That's all right.

[Damaris]

You know, you want to know what apples.

[Rory]

You want to say urban acts.

[Maul]

You all gotta say black.

[Rory]

Yeah, like, that's what. When labels say urban, that's what they're actually saying. But then traditional R B doesn't work either. It's only really. I feel like that middle ground that works in 2025 with Black artists. When was the last time there was just a straight pop act that was broke that didn't cross over? Because to me, Taylor Swift is a crossover with country and pop. Like, when was the last time a straight. Like Destiny's Child came out? And of course, they were R and B to the core. Don't get me wrong. But that was a pop girl group. Beyonce, again, crossover, but that was pop. When was the last time that's even happened with. With white artists?

[Damaris]

Sabrina Carpenter.

[Rory]

Sabrina had to put out 15 albums that weren't pop before that happened. Straight pop music isn't like a thing per se, anymore.

[Maul]

Yeah. Charlie Xigo or whatever.

[Rory]

Who's Dave Chappelle's sister? Chappelle. What's her name?

[Maul]

Chapel Rome.

[Rory]

Chapel Rome.

[Maul]

Dave Chappelle's sister is funny as.

[Damaris]

For some reason I was about to say, if Dave Chappelle sister makes music, that's the most incredible secret I've ever. Because I had no idea.

[Rory]

I guess that's straight pop, I suppose. But. Yeah. I don't know. Like Sam Smith. But even though that's. That's sort of rooted in R B at the end of the day. But that was a straight pop. Pop acts.

[Maul]

Is R B. Ariana Grande just makes more R B than she does pop.

[Rory]

That's crossover.

[Maul]

Crossover. But she's not a straight pop artist.

[Damaris]

She's like a Disney kid, isn't she? They don't get more.

[Maul]

Pope McCray. Yeah. Tate McCray is the last. I think she might have been the last one that popped off.

[Rory]

I don't know, man. I just feel like trying to break pop acts is not the move anymore. Make good music and find someone that has a personality and wing it.

[Damaris]

Yeah.

[Maul]

I think that Tyler, like you think.

[Rory]

Like when Teddy Swims made Losing Control, that's been on Billboard for. I don't know since I was. Since 1990. So that since I was born, I think. I doubt they went in there trying to make a pop record. And he's not what you would call the pop vision of what he looks like Jelly rolls now.

[Damaris]

Pop jelly rolls. A wrestler now. It's the most incredible crossover we've ever seen.

[Rory]

Taylor can sell out MetLife, but can she do a suplex?

[Damaris]

No, she cannot do what Jelly Roll did at SummerSlam. Absolutely not.

[Rory]

Yeah. I don't know. The lines are too blurred now to even think about trying to break a pop act.

[Damaris]

We got to bring back the. The shows, man. We don't have more in me. Mtv, Real World, we need those shows back. I think pop music was better with TRL and. Oh, like, you need those, man. Need those.

[Rory]

I mean, we need alternative rock back.

[Damaris]

We do.

[Rory]

This is the story of a girl trying to river and crowd the world. She looks so sad. And photographs.

[Damaris]

That was my. Right there.

[Rory]

Absolutely loved her.

[Maul]

I think Tyler would be good just to close this off. I think she'll be good if she doesn't try to aim for America's approval. I know.

[Rory]

That was my point of saying, be yourself.

[Maul]

Like, I think, tell Charlemagne.

[Rory]

Answer Charlemagne's questions. Don't cater to America.

[Maul]

No, I wasn't even talking about that. I'm just talking about as far as, like, what your music career, period. Like, other countries are more loyal than we are. We like bubblegum artists.

[Damaris]

Yeah. The one she's from.

[Maul]

Yeah, we like bubblegum music now. Like, and bubblegum artists, they're loyal to.

[Rory]

A lot of things. Nelson Mandela would like a word.

[Damaris]

Yeah. Absolutely.

[Rory]

Loyal to the soil.

[Damaris]

Shout out to Tyler, though, man. I gotta. I gotta check that EP out. Yeah. But I do like Tyler.

[Rory]

Lil Nas X, that they probably the last great pop star. What we say, Lil Nas X. Yeah. Going down the same path as every other child star, but he's rooted in country. That's a real country artist right there.

[Damaris]

Yeah. Come on. That's. He's the naked cowboy.

[Rory]

All right, Lil Nas X. I'm gonna start with an apology if this is for real. I don't mean to downplay anything you're going through, but you are also the boy that cried troll. So I don't typically believe anything you do because everything you've ever done has been a stunt to troll us. So you walking around in your underwear at 4am in LA in cowboy boots, to me, feels like a rollout and not a mental breakdown or that you're addicted to drugs.

[Damaris]

This is West Hollywood you know that block. He lived right up the street, man.

[Rory]

You know that. Wells Fargo.

[Damaris]

Yeah. He's not. There's nothing wrong with Little Nas X.

[Rory]

They're saying there was a potential overdose. I'm sorry. And if that is the case, I hope he gets the help he needs and prayers to him, but I don't believe anything that he. I think everything he does is a troll. He's hilarious. He's never taken anything seriously. It's like this. Seems to me he literally did a video where he dropped from heaven and landed first on the devil's dick. I don't believe that he's really going through anything. This is a ploy.

[Damaris]

This. If you give him a guitar. This is the naked cowboy in Times Square. It's no different from that.

[Rory]

I just. That's how he dressed at the VMAs. Yeah.

[Damaris]

He didn't have his guitar.

[Maul]

Where is the. The source that said he was hospitalized for a potential od?

[Rory]

Tmz. This is a video from tmz.

[Maul]

Okay?

[Rory]

And I hate to say it. TMZ does not really lie like that.

[Maul]

TMZ does not lie. So that's. They have. But if. Have that, you can. He's not paying TMZ to say he was hospitalized for a potential od. I don't think that that's happening.

[Rory]

You really think Harvey Levin is above that? Taking in a check from Lil Nas X to put a fake headline up? You know, he's going to sip his water and be like, all right, it's 100 grand.

[Maul]

I don't. I don't think that it's. That he's above it. I'm just saying TMZ has done what they can to. They're known for this. To verify their sources.

[Rory]

No, they are a credible news source, unfortunately, at this point. But I can also see them. They'd still be credible. Credible because it came from Lil Nas X. Like, hey, I'm in the hospital. Look, for real.

[Maul]

He said. That's what I'm saying. Who was the source? We don't know that he said that.

[Rory]

Him.

[Maul]

Okay.

[Rory]

Texted Harvey.

[Damaris]

We don't see him getting into.

[Rory]

Texted Harvey with a selfie in a hospital bed and was like, yo, we.

[Damaris]

Don'T see, like, the ambulance pulling up. Nothing like that.

[Rory]

Lil Nas X roams LA streets and Tighty Whitey is hospitalized for possible od. I can see him just doing this.

[Damaris]

Okay.

[Maul]

I'm not. I'm not putting it past him. I'm not saying he's. But I would. Before I go and say that I'm going to say if this is real prayers to little Nas X. And I hope he gets the help that he needs before I automatically assume that it's a troll. But it's very possible that it's a troll.

[Damaris]

He just like, he's.

[Maul]

I hope that it's a troll. I would hate to see Lil Nas X.

[Damaris]

He looked like he just went for a walk. He's on shrooms.

[Rory]

Like, as it turns out, several people in the area reported to the LAPD that they saw a nude man walking in the road. We're told officers, he's not new. I know. We're told officers responded and found him still walking down the middle of a.

[Damaris]

Club in West Hollywood dressed like that. Like, what are we talking about? Have people never been to West Hollywood? He probably walked out of the club and couldn't find his car.

[Rory]

Like, and still walking in the middle of the road. Entendre callback, Old timer. I see what Sean did.

[Damaris]

He wasn't stumbling. He wasn't like, he looked like he was drunk. Like he was just, you know, that's the same way he was walking through the airport when I saw him in la.

[Rory]

Certain names have more clothes on. I feel like you're not allowed to just have like. I don't even like how this article reads. And after that, Nas was charged. Charged at officers. Nas didn't.

[Damaris]

Yeah. No, no, no, no.

[Rory]

Put little Nas X. Don't just put Nas in here.

[Damaris]

No little knob.

[Rory]

And after Nas charged that officers, they subdued him, put him in handcuffs. Officers told paramedics it was a possible overdose and Nas was transported to a hospital. I'm still on the side of troll, but.

[Damaris]

Well, if it's not a troll, hopefully he's all right. You know, just gotta get him hydrated time. Those shrooms will kick your ass if you're not hydrated enough and you want to go for a walk. You just happen to have underwear and cowboy boots on. You know, some people in West Hollywood, if he was a white guy, I'd be okay, but a black guy, cowboy boots, underwear, go get him.

[Rory]

I mean, but honestly, like, that's why I think it's a troll. Who is calling the police in West Hollywood, Studio City, Hollywood, downtown la, of any man half naked walking down the street.

[Damaris]

That's not.

[Rory]

When has that ever happened at. There's nothing but half naked people walking down the street at all hours.

[Damaris]

And he wasn't being aggressive. It's not. He was running up to cars, trying to break windows and things like that. Yeah, he was Just walking.

[Rory]

He was just being sassy and happy.

[Maul]

Yeah, yeah. But if he around and ended up in a residential neighborhood, then, yeah, they're gonna call the cops on him.

[Damaris]

I mean, that looked like West Hollywood.

[Rory]

They said Studio City.

[Damaris]

Studio City.

[Rory]

But either way, like, I've definitely been on Ventura in Studio City, and it's nothing but half naked people high walking down adventure.

[Damaris]

So hopefully he's okay. Yeah, like I said, he didn't look like he was on anything too heavy. He was, you know, like regular ass. Little Nas X still had his, you know, bearings. He still was walking. He wasn't falling. He wasn't, you know, it could have got worse. We just see video from people driving by. But hopefully, you know, if this is not a stunt, I don't know, next week we might see a video which is part of the video. Like, I don't, you know, anything these days is a rollout. So, though.

[Rory]

And I mean, it's weird timing too, right after Fabio said he'd only heard one Lil Nas X song, which I think is up because I've heard like two or three.

[Damaris]

Don't do that.

[Rory]

Lil Nas X. I mean, Old Town Road with the one with Jack Harlow, I think is great.

[Damaris]

That's not what Fabio was talking about.

[Rory]

Who is he talking about?

[Damaris]

Nas?

[Rory]

Yeah, that's who we're talking about here. Lil Nas X.

[Damaris]

No, this.

[Maul]

No, no.

[Rory]

In the article it says.

[Damaris]

Don't. Don't try to cross.

[Rory]

No, no, no. I'm trying to tell you, in the article, it says here, year. No after Nas charged at officers. Nas was transported to hospital.

[Damaris]

They just left the little out.

[Rory]

Okay. That's what Fabio did too. That's what Fabio was talking to Jim Jones about. He was. He's only heard, first of all, Old Town Road and the Jack Harlow.

[Damaris]

Welcome home to Fabio. First of all, because we were just talking about locked up. Yeah, we talked about it a couple weeks ago. Last week or two weeks ago. And he was released probably the week we asked about him. Like, yo, we was, what's up with Fobby? Like, he's been locked up since January. Nobody's even talking about him. One of the biggest artists definitely coming out of the city at one point, has records with some of the biggest artists in the world, and nobody was talking about him being incarcerated since January. Came home right back into the headlines. Sat down with Jim Jones, his artist.

[Rory]

To artist platform podcast where he gives game to other artists. I think it's a dope idea.

[Damaris]

Dope. Shout out to Jim and they had a conversation And Fabio was saying, how. You know, he. He's not. He never really listened to. He don't know any Nas songs.

[Rory]

He knows one mic.

[Damaris]

He knows one mic. He said he grew up on Chief Keef. Only thing is, Chief Keef is. He's older than Chief Keef. So that was the. Like you grew up on, which is cool. You could be a little. He's about five years older than Chief Keefe. You know, if that's the artist he grew up on, that's what he was listening to. Cool.

[Rory]

I'm the same age as five. I just want to make that. Yeah, we're both 35. Born 1990.

[Damaris]

I just don't.

[Rory]

I was 22 when Chief Keef first entered the scene with the. With a monitor on his ankle in that house going bang, bang. Yeah, I was. I could legally drink at a bar.

[Damaris]

Yes.

[Rory]

I wouldn't say those were, like, the years. I was.

[Maul]

Your formative years.

[Rory]

Yeah. I don't know. That was, like, childhood.

[Damaris]

You didn't grow up.

[Rory]

I wasn't looking at jumping jacks and titties when Keef was like, I could. I. I was an adult now, to.

[Damaris]

Be fair, you know, maybe just. Fabio isn't a Nas fan. He doesn't listen to Nas. He.

[Rory]

No, I mean, I. I grew up on J. Cole.

[Damaris]

No, you did not know the. You did, man.

[Rory]

Yes, I did.

[Damaris]

I just didn't understand Fabio. You know that I grew up on Chief Keef because it's like you were outside active before you even knew who Chief Keef was.

[Rory]

What was the. The kid? Slim Jesus. Remember Slim Jesus? He looked like me and Peach.

[Damaris]

Yes.

[Rory]

And he went on Tax's podcast, and Tax asked him, yo, what's your top five? And he was like, yo, Chief Keef, he's named a bunch of drill rappers. That made total sense to me because he was born in, like, 2010. Made total sense. How the. Are you 35 and was raised on somebody that came out when he was.

[Damaris]

23 and from New York and from the same city.

[Rory]

Oh, man. He was. I'm not even saying you had to be raised on Nas like that, because even if you weren't, like, into that type of hip hop, I'm not expecting that. That Favi was going to buy Streets Disciple because Nas wasn't like.

[Damaris]

Yeah.

[Rory]

I mean, Godson was probably the last time he was.

[Damaris]

That.

[Rory]

That as far as, like. Like, mainstream. Mainstream made you look. I'm sure Fabi had heard that record before, but after that. Cool. I'll let you get. Get that off. But to say you wasn't raised on diffset. I wasn't raised. Jim Jones is sitting. Yeah. Wasn't raised by the person you're sitting across from is. I mean, I guess he did bring that up later on, but what is he talking about?

[Damaris]

Well, I mean, it's also.

[Rory]

He must have misspoke.

[Damaris]

It's also taste, too, though. You know, sometimes you hear these artists, these rappers, and you like, I don't want to hear that. I don't want to listen to Nas, like. Like, and that's cool. I know people my age that are not Nas. You know what I'm saying?

[Rory]

Like, oh, in no way am I saying you have to. You're supposed to be raised on Nas.

[Damaris]

I think I understand. What he meant to say was like, he just wasn't a Nas fan growing up, so. But him saying he grew up on Chief Keef but doesn't know any Nas music was just like, but you're older than Chief Keef, so it was just a little. A little weird, a little awkward.

[Rory]

Yeah. And I guess. And again, to your point, you don't have to be raised on Nas. If he was like, I just didn't listen to Nas as a kid.

[Damaris]

Totally cool.

[Rory]

That guy also puts you, like, you're one of few artists on earth that are on a Nas song.

[Damaris]

Yeah.

[Rory]

He puts you and Ferg, like, and that's a great record. When that came out, we were in here like, yo, who would have thought that Fabio and Nas would sound this good together? Yeah, to me, that's a. Just a little disrespectful. I'm not saying you have to like his music. That's subjective. But I think what it is, Favi came out when he was older. There was also people that just didn't listen to music growing up. Yeah, he might have started, like, started to listen to music when he was 22. Because he became a rapper way later. He popped. I think that record popped at. At his baby shower. Like, that was the video. It was like a video from his baby shower. And he just made the record for the baby shower. Like, it wasn't even supposed to be viral.

[Damaris]

Yeah.

[Rory]

And he became a rapper. I could also totally see. Maybe he was telling true the truth. Maybe he didn't listen to music like that till he was 22. There's also in this room. I know that would be weird, but let's not act like there weren't people that you grew up around that just didn't listen to music. No, like, that was just, like, wasn't.

[Maul]

They thing they heard the songs that other people.

[Damaris]

Yeah, like.

[Maul]

Like they weren't sitting in their room listening.

[Rory]

And once he started to get into. He could have been 22, 23, and it was Chief Keef.

[Damaris]

That's. And that's cool. Everything that y' all saying is valid. What I'm saying is, if you have a record with Nas, at some point, I think you should go listen to Nas's catalog.

[Maul]

I think you put in too much common sense on a dumb Jeep.

[Damaris]

No, I'm just. No, this is what any artist. If you're trying to be an artist, this is what you should be doing. If I have the opportunity to do a record as if I'm an artist with Stevie Wonder, there's a lot of Stevie Wonder songs that I may not know. If they call me and say, hey, Stevie, wonderful. Once you're on this record, the first thing I'm doing is I'm going to listen to a whole bunch of Stevie shit I've never heard before. Like, I need to know more about this artist that has asked me to do this record with them. Like, that's just your due diligence as an artist. Like, you go study the people that you're working with. You go study the greats, and you figure out their catalog. How did they have so much longevity? How are they, you know, how are they now at the status of being legends? Like, what did they do? Like, you should. If you want to be an artist, those are things that you should do. Especially if you don't notice artists, but they want you on a record. Like, dope.

[Rory]

I know you're making more sense than you should be.

[Damaris]

No, but I'm talking about just listening.

[Rory]

That's logic.

[Damaris]

I'm just saying, if Fabio wants to be an artist, if he's calling himself an artist, right, Then this is what you should be doing as an artist. You should be studying these people that you don't know that are requesting that you do a feature with them.

[Rory]

Like, I mean, but he also said he didn't grow. I mean, say he didn't grow up on Kanye, but he didn't bring up Kanye when asked, who did you grow up on? And he was all over Donda.

[Damaris]

Yeah, but I'm sure he listened to more Kanye than Nas.

[Rory]

Probably so. But he didn't even bring him up. And that's somebody that gave him a huge opportunity. I just don't think that's in his brain to, hey, the artists that are giving me opportunities, I gotta go through their whole back catalog, which you're making all the sense in the world. I just don't think that's how he views things.

[Damaris]

Yeah, but I just for you to have a record with somebody and you like, yo, I don't even know this person. Like. Like, it's like, yo, you know who this is? Like, this is like an honor to be on a record with Nas. Like, this is not. This is like a big thing. This is not some random mc, some random artists. This is one of the greatest rappers that has ever come through the culture. Like you should. Absolutely. Again, it's fair if you don't know much.

[Rory]

People upstick. Like, I was watching a couple Pete Davidson interviews, and when he got the opportunity for snl, he had never watched it before. They asked him, what's your favorite sketches? He was like, I didn't watch the show. I know nothing about it. And he thought that Will Ferrell was doing weird YouTube sketches. He didn't realize that was Saturday Night Live. And I mean, he was, I wouldn't say a staple in the show, but he was a huge part of the show for years. Some people just take opportunity and don't know anything about what they're getting, and it ends up being.

[Damaris]

That makes sense that. You know why that makes sense. That makes sense why that Eddie Murphy and Pete. Pete Davidson movie is so terrible. Horrible.

[Rory]

I still haven't watched it.

[Damaris]

How do you not know what SNL is as a comedian?

[Rory]

He's also.

[Damaris]

How that makes 20.

[Rory]

I don't know. I mean, it's. It's on at 11pm on a Saturday. He's 31. Like 1993. It was a weird era for us. Like, I couldn't totally see a kid not watching snl. Little different than a rapper not listening.

[Damaris]

To Snell is still on every week. Week.

[Rory]

I know, but to say that you watched it, like, as a kid. Like, I didn't watch SNL as a kid. It was on at 11pm on Saturday.

[Damaris]

You're also not a comedian.

[Rory]

That's true. But I don't know. Do you feel like if. If I want to be a comedian now I have to go study all of Saturday Night Live? Like, I have to go.

[Damaris]

I'm not saying you got to study all of it. You should know what it is.

[Rory]

I mean, he knew.

[Damaris]

What do we talk? Like, how do you not know what Saturday, Saturday Night Live is?

[Rory]

He knew what it was, but, like, he knew he was going to an audition for Saturday Live. He just had never watched it, knew nothing about it. It didn't even know which Even said he had no idea the amount of comedians that came from that entire thing.

[Damaris]

And now you have a movie also, like, now you have a movie with one of the greatest. You see what I'm saying? No, but this is. This is. This. This is this era that we're in, though. Like, when I was telling you years ago, it's easier to get on now. This is what I'm talking about. You don't even have to know what the this thing is.

[Rory]

I'm on the side. If you want to enter any space, you should do your due diligence and you should do your research.

[Damaris]

Didn't he host Saturday Night Before? So that's what. So that's what I'm saying.

[Rory]

He was on the show for, like a decade.

[Damaris]

So how.

[Rory]

That's how he. That's how he, like, got all the famous girlfriends, because they were like, so.

[Damaris]

How do you guess?

[Rory]

On the show.

[Damaris]

So how did he not know what that was at one point?

[Rory]

Because he was a kid.

[Damaris]

That doesn't make any sense to me. Like, that makes no sense to me. That's this.

[Rory]

I think he was the second and youngest. I think his Eddie was the youngest and Pete was the second youngest ever on snl. Like, he was a child.

[Maul]

Well, no one has. Well, knowing his age. I'm not mad at that. Like, I'm not mad at him not knowing exactly what SNL was.

[Rory]

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[Damaris]

Gotta get that. That teammate. Set the screen. Set the screen.

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[Damaris]

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[Rory]

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[Rory]

Jake Paul Tank Davis announced boxing is at its peak. Finally boxing is back.

[Damaris]

Yeah, I mean I ain't mad at Tank man. Get that bag.

[Rory]

I'm not mad at him either.

[Damaris]

Get that bag man.

[Rory]

And as much as I give the Paul brothers, everyone get money, man, whatever.

[Damaris]

I mean it's entertainment. We know what this is. This is just entertainment.

[Rory]

Okay, but they got me on like their last 10 fights. I don't really know if I'm Gonna, like, tune into this.

[Damaris]

Oh, you're definitely gonna tune into this.

[Rory]

I can just see the replays on.

[Damaris]

This is, this is Jake's. This is.

[Rory]

The last one was. So it was a snooze. The Tyson was a snooze fest.

[Damaris]

Yes. But this is like, this is Jake's toughest opponent. This is his toughest fight that he's taken.

[Rory]

Yeah, no, I, I agree, but I.

[Damaris]

Already know why you're gonna watch it.

[Rory]

It's rule. There's too many rules.

[Damaris]

Like, there's no rules. It's actually, it's actually a bounty on a knockout, bro.

[Rory]

They all right, but they say that every fight and then it ends up being an exhibition.

[Damaris]

Now, I don't know if they said that. I don't know if they said it's a bounty on a knockout every fight.

[Rory]

Okay.

[Maul]

Yeah, I thought knockouts were like, not allowed on some of the. Ex. Ex.

[Damaris]

No, there's like, there's a, there's a, there's a bonus if you knock in this fight. If you knock. If one of them knocks each other out. So like they, they head hunting, man.

[Rory]

What's, what's in the fine print. I feel like with, with these fights, they need to show us the con. This is the only time I want to see the contract with fights. Like, please show me what the real rules are. What you guys signed, like, sign it in person.

[Damaris]

So you're saying you want to, you want to make sure this is a real legit. Yeah, this is a legit fight.

[Rory]

Because this is insane if it's a real fight.

[Damaris]

No, this is a legit fight.

[Rory]

Like, even I, I thought it was insane with Tyson, I don't care how old he is, anytime the Paul brothers have fought like a real opponent, I respect it. And I think both of them, especially Jake are, are great fighters. I'm not here to shit on their abilities, but it's always been in the confined within the rules of an exhibition, whether they tried to promote it differently or not. I'm not knocking them for it. But you just about to fight Tank with no rules.

[Damaris]

No, they're gonna have rules. You have to have rules.

[Rory]

Regular rules of boxing. I'm saying, like, you can knock somebody up.

[Damaris]

Well, it says what? And when asked if the fight would be an exhibition, Most Valuable Promotions co founder Nikisa Bidarian told ESPN that the contracted weight and number rounds had yet to be agreed upon. All of this is still being negotiated, so however much Tank is able to weigh, I don't think he's going to go in there too much over his normal fighting weight because he still wants to be quick, but he'll be heavier than most of his normal fights. So. Yeah, I mean, I just think that'll be it. And how many rounds is obviously another thing to be negotiated. But as far as, like, can I punch you in your face? Like, absolutely.

[Rory]

That's happened with all their fights.

[Damaris]

Yeah, no, they're gonna.

[Rory]

Logan Paul and Floyd Mayweather won, like, like, they weren't milking that whole. They went the distance.

[Damaris]

Yeah. I mean, but again, that's, you know.

[Rory]

Tyson, like, Tyson's still Tyson, like, I don't know.

[Damaris]

But this is a. If it's a straight up fight, this is a prime. Tank Davis, though.

[Rory]

That's what I'm saying. That's why there has to be.

[Damaris]

He's significantly smaller than Jake Paul, but he's.

[Rory]

Mayweather was significantly smaller than Logan.

[Damaris]

Yeah, but he still, he's still. Tank is still. Still very dangerous in that ring, no matter if you're bigger than him or not. But I think this is going to be probably Jake Paul's most watched fight again, because Tank, he's fighting somebody that is at the top of their fight game, in the prime of their fight game. And Tank Davis is one of the most exciting boxers that we have. So this is Jake Paul. This is his biggest fight.

[Rory]

I mean, how do you think the, I guess, quote unquote, real boxing world is viewing Tank like his peers?

[Damaris]

Because it started from, you know, when Tank. When Jake Paul fought Tyson.

[Rory]

Yep, I remember.

[Damaris]

And Tank jumped on Twitter and he was like, man, I want to fight you. Because he didn't like the fact that Jake went in there and, you know, kind of made an older Mike Tyson. You know, it's like, why you hitting on an older guy? Like, fight me. That's that type of thing. So that's why this came. This fight finally came to fruition because Tank wanted to fight. He jumped out there. And Jake Paul, being the businessman that he is, was like, he knows how much money this would, Would, would make and how big this fight would be. So they obviously, you know, made it happen. But again, I do think that Jake Paul's bigger.

[Maul]

All right.

[Damaris]

But I think that Tank is. This is going to be a tough fight for Tank. Again, Tank Davis is Tank Davis. I don't know if it's a much better fighter. Yeah.

[Rory]

But tough of a fight. And I think Jake Paul is a great fighter. But I'm saying, all right, anytime the Paul brothers have fought real boxers, it's Ben Mayweather. At the end of his career type. Like, they always do it with the older legacy, real boxers, which is cool. Whatever, it's fun, it's Entertainment. I'll pay 10.99 for it. How would the boxing world view Mayweather when we've been waiting for you to fight Pacquiao, but instead you go fight a Paul brother during your fight?

[Damaris]

Was he retired when he took that fight? Wasn't Floyd retired when he took that fight?

[Rory]

Yeah, no, no, of course. I'm Tank being at his. At his prime right now, in the middle of his prime, instead of fighting somebody else, he's going to the circus. And I don't mean the circus disrespectfully. I'm saying no other fighter in there. Like, imagine if Zab took this fight at his prime. We'd be looking at Zab like, what? Yo, what are you. What are you doing right now?

[Damaris]

I mean, for that bag, I'm not knocking it.

[Rory]

I'm saying the real boxing, his peers looking at him like, yo, we get that this has become a whole new genre. It's actually keeping money in the pockets of the boxing world. We got deal with it. Matter of fact, we're starting to respect it. But it's always the legacy acts. Of course, Tyson, if he wants to go get a bag, he's older, it's fun. Yeah, but now you're, now you're really mixing these worlds with somebody in a prime.

[Damaris]

Yeah, but it's different with Tank because he's not ducking nobody. He's already fought everybody he's supposed to fight. The Lamont Roach fight, I think is still going to happen after this fight. So, yeah, this is one of a bag he probably picked up, but this official 30 million for this or something like that.

[Rory]

Congrats to the Paul brothers, by the way. Now, like, if anyone wants to question anything, you have been solidified, stamped as a professional boxer for the rest of your lives. Like this. Stamped it. Tyson didn't stamp it. Mayweather didn't stamp it. Tank Davis, in his prime, professional, just stamped that. These are professional box. You can't say a word about Jake Paul now. How could you?

[Damaris]

Now, if Jake Paul going in there.

[Rory]

The number one in his prime, is fighting you right now, not a legacy act.

[Damaris]

But if you go in there, get knocked out, out.

[Rory]

If he doesn't, if, if he doesn't.

[Damaris]

If he goes the distance, we can start looking at Jake a little. I respect Jake Paul as a fighter.

[Rory]

So do I. Jake has nothing to lose here. If he gets knocked out, he Got knocked out by a prime about to be legendary fighter, if not already a legend in his own right.

[Damaris]

No, Tank is a legend. Yes, he's a legend.

[Rory]

Jake has nothing to lose here. Tank, literally, we used to joke, yo, Mayweather, you doing this. Like you got boxing on your back now. Like, like this. If you want to get in the ring with him, everyone's saying they're not real fighters. This is a joke. This is that. That's whatever. Now it's for real. If Jake Paul goes a distance with Tank Davis, he has the entire legacy of boxing on his back right now.

[Damaris]

I gotta see what the this.

[Rory]

He went from circus to prime time.

[Damaris]

I ain't gonna lie, man. I kind of want to put money on Jake Paul in this fight, man, you fucking lying. I'm just saying. I don't. What we doing. I don't know if I want to bet on the knockout, but I'm just like the distance. I might be. I might be. I'm.

[Rory]

Tank is what, 1, 135 usually?

[Maul]

Yes.

[Rory]

And Jake's what usually 205. 2, 2, 2.

[Damaris]

Like 2:10, 2:15, something like that.

[Maul]

200.

[Rory]

All right. Do we think Jake will lose weight?

[Damaris]

No, I think Jake will lose some weight.

[Rory]

Weight.

[Damaris]

I think he will some. He not going to go in there under £200 though.

[Rory]

Because now we're getting. We're getting into live boxing area at this point. Like, if we're going to make. He's in his prime. There needs to be a actual weight class for this.

[Damaris]

No, but that's what I need to have.

[Rory]

So they need to meet somewhere. It can't be like, all right, Jake, you go down to 190 and tank, you go up to 150. Like, we have to have. This is prime. This isn't some old guy that's getting a bag.

[Damaris]

Yeah, but we have to get.

[Rory]

We have to find a middle ground. Everybody has to be 155 or nothing.

[Maul]

It doesn't work.

[Damaris]

That's not Jake Paul not going there in a 155.

[Rory]

Getting up to 155.

[Damaris]

Jake Paul going in 155. He gonna collapse trying to walk up the steps. Going in the ring. He gonna be so dehydrated. Yeah. Not.

[Rory]

Wait, you don't think Jake. First of all, Jake, I'm not saying like. But he has been 155 in his life before Jake. Jake has not looked this way his whole life.

[Damaris]

In high school. Yeah.

[Rory]

How. All right, when was it Jake that fought?

[Damaris]

I'm not going in there. No, 150, man. I don't know what you talking about.

[Rory]

Point guard from the Celtics. Oh, yeah. Nick said. Yeah. Nate Robinson.

[Damaris]

You thought he was 155 when he walked in.

[Rory]

No, no. I want to know what weight he was at that before he got, like, to be close.

[Damaris]

He was probably 200.

[Rory]

Was that Logan or Jake? I can't remember.

[Damaris]

That was Jake Paul.

[Rory]

Jake Paul. But first of all, that was one that I called. I'm so mad I didn't take more bets on that. I was dying laughing when people. Oh, yeah, like, please.

[Damaris]

I'm not even listening. Jake Paul's.

[Rory]

I know. I didn't say he was 155. I thought he was like, get down, down.

[Damaris]

He's not getting down. No lighter than 189. It's more interesting if he's bigger. Like. Yeah, yeah. Like, he going. He going in there. He might.

[Rory]

I think he'll get down to 190, though.

[Damaris]

Yeah, 189, 190.

[Rory]

The difference is how many. That was 20. 20. It's been. But I think. All right, Jake's last fight, how heavy was he? Definitely wasn't 200 even.

[Damaris]

He was more than that.

[Rory]

It might have been 225.

[Damaris]

He was more than that.

[Rory]

That's what I'm saying. It's been a big.

[Damaris]

But he's fighting a bigger guy.

[Rory]

Yeah, it's been a big gap from the Nate Robinson fight.

[Damaris]

He was 227.

[Rory]

227.

[Damaris]

Yeah. For the Tyson fight, he was 227.

[Rory]

I don't know, man.

[Damaris]

It's gonna be an interesting one. I'll tell you.

[Rory]

What's Tanks reach? Can we pull up? Tanks reach and.

[Maul]

Yeah, what's their height difference, too?

[Damaris]

Tank is like 5 7. I think Jake Paul might be 6ft, 6 1, maybe.

[Rory]

Yeah, it's gonna be. See, but I don't like this, because now all of a sudden, y' all got me thinking, Jake Paul could win.

[Damaris]

No, no, no. But the reason you think when I.

[Rory]

Start looking at this, I'm starting to consider what you're saying.

[Damaris]

No, no, no. Because I. Listen. That's what I'm saying. I. I might be inclined to just put some money on Jake going the distance or something like that. I don't know if I want to bet on him knocking Tank out. I don't. I'm not going. I'm not going to do that. But go the distance. Cause I. I think. I think Tank going in there to knock him straight out.

[Maul]

Out.

[Damaris]

Like, Tank wants to Knock him out now. Is he. Would he be able to. Is he going to. I don't know, man. I think Jake Paul's a lot.

[Rory]

It would be like an exhaustion knockout. He not going in there. Haymaker knockout. He would have to wear him out for rounds to the point that he's just getting exhausted, and then just one is just putting him down.

[Damaris]

All it takes is one.

[Rory]

Oh, no, of course. But there's. There's exhaustion knockouts, and then there's straight up knockouts.

[Damaris]

But no, you can. You can get caught with one when you fully. Your tank is full. And if you get caught with one, one. Trust me. Energy.

[Rory]

Yeah, I'm aware.

[Damaris]

You play fight night before. You remember, you get kit with a.

[Rory]

Haymaker fight night in real life and been at 100 health with the GTA cheat codes.

[Damaris]

Clean knocked out. This is gonna be a good fight, though. I think this is gonna be a good fight. I do think this will be a good fight. I know people how they feel about Jake Paul, and obviously, Tank Davis is a legend. But I do think. I think this is gonna be a better fight than people think.

[Rory]

It's funny. Cause I like Jake Paul a lot, but I also like rooting against him.

[Damaris]

Yeah, that's why everybody's. People want to see him get knocked out.

[Rory]

It's because they want that.

[Damaris]

They want to see him get his head knocked off.

[Rory]

But it's such a weird thing in my head because, yes, I want to see that, too, because I want to prove that. Like, it's almost like wrestling's real. Like boxing. Like, nah, you can't with real boxers. But he continues to prove himself. But this is the one. If he wins, I'm sorry, he's.

[Damaris]

No, I don't do that. Because if he went, y' all gonna say, yo, they paid him to win, and all of that. Like, y' all not gonna give Jake Paul's credit. So don't do that. I do think it'll be a knockout.

[Rory]

I mean, his brother couldn't even beat Jelly Roll. Like, what are we talking about?

[Damaris]

He did. They did be Jelly Roll.

[Rory]

Oh, he did?

[Maul]

Yeah.

[Damaris]

What are you talking about?

[Rory]

That was in the script.

[Damaris]

See? Do you go with the script? Do you go with the script either way? November 15th, I think. November 15th, 16th, 19th. One of the. One of the teens.

[Rory]

67.

[Damaris]

November 14th on Netflix. Netflix, right in Atlanta, State Farm Arena.

[Maul]

Hey, Netflix, man. Have y' all servers updated that skipping shit? I was dealing with that last fight? Bad service, all of that. Have that fixed. Make sure y' all Got enough fucking computers, right?

[Damaris]

Yeah. Cause this gonna, that's gonna be this. Everybody's watching this.

[Rory]

I'm starting to walk back. Sony, Mike takes right now. Now why they have a 10 inch difference on reach. You know what it's like to fight somebody with a 10? Like they have 10 inches over you on a reach.

[Damaris]

I told you.

[Rory]

I might even trying to get to you is like, I might want to.

[Damaris]

Put some money on Jake Paul. You just quick.

[Rory]

He'll. He'll find angles that I don't think we know.

[Damaris]

Tank is the better fighter by far.

[Rory]

Angles that he.

[Damaris]

Tank is the better fighter by far. He's the better fighter. Better boxer by far.

[Rory]

Goes without saying, but that's what I'm saying, man. Significantly bigger than him.

[Damaris]

When you got a white boy in the ring that you know he willing to die in that. Jake Paul willing to die on Netflix? You ain't willing to die on Netflix.

[Rory]

That's. That's a fact.

[Damaris]

Yeah, he willing to down Netflix. I don't know, man. I. I don't know. I gotta wait till the odds come out. I look at FanDuel when it gets closer and see like what they saying. I'll see if I could put a little, put a little something on Jake Paul going a distance or something like that.

[Rory]

Where are they fighting? That is it in Vegas.

[Damaris]

State Farm Arena. Joe Atlanta. Oh.

[Rory]

Oh, man. Hit volume right now. If we not ringside, then deal is over.

[Damaris]

Yeah, I don't want to be right.

[Rory]

That was in our stipulation with, with in our contract.

[Damaris]

Ringside, you get Vaseline blood.

[Rory]

Specifically with Tank Davis and Jake Paul. We were ahead of our time. We said if this fight happens, we got to be ringside. So the projected odds are have Tank as a slight favorite.

[Damaris]

Tank is a slight favorite right now.

[Rory]

Yeah.

[Damaris]

So I'm saying, man, it might. You might be inclined to put a little something on Jake Paul. Man. I'm just saying, just the distance at least to go to distance.

[Maul]

64 chance of winning.

[Damaris]

They got Jake Paul with a 64 chance of winning. Oh, Tank. I'm about to say they got Jake with a 64%.

[Rory]

That's even crazy to me. That makes me want to put something on Jake.

[Damaris]

That's what I'm trying to tell you, bro.

[Rory]

64% chance.

[Damaris]

64% chance of winning for Tank right now. I don't know, man. It's going to be interesting though. I still think Tank is going to win the fight, but it's going to be interesting. It's going to be fun to Watch. But I do think Tank is going to win the fight.

[Rory]

Better odds. Would you get in the ring with Jake Paul or eat Meg thee stallion's spaghetti and catfish?

[Damaris]

Spaghetti and catfish, 100%. I could deal with shitting on the toilet. I can't deal with pissing blood. Yeah, I ain't going to piss no blood. I could shit. I shit all night, though, but I ain't pissing blood.

[Maul]

Why do you think that the spaghetti and catfish would make you shit?

[Rory]

Because it looked like.

[Damaris]

Nah, you. But everybody don't know that spaghetti and fish is a thing.

[Maul]

Yeah, no, I know it is.

[Rory]

I was just, you know, look a little crazy, that's all.

[Damaris]

Did it? I didn't see. I didn't see Meg's plate.

[Maul]

It just looked normal, like regular, like, spaghetti and fried catfish.

[Damaris]

Meg look like she could cook, though. I seen. I've seen another video of her, like, before she was in the kitchen. Like, she know what she doing.

[Maul]

I'm like, it looked like.

[Rory]

No, I saw a video where the catfish or the rolls.

[Damaris]

We don't need to.

[Rory]

There was no Hawaiian roll there.

[Damaris]

Yeah, we don't need to.

[Rory]

It just looked like a bunch of on top of noodles at one point.

[Damaris]

No, but it may have been the angle. The fish look like it's fried right. It look like it's seasoned right, but I see.

[Rory]

All right. I didn't like a lot of the backlash, even though the video I saw didn't look great. It wasn't like when Kim Kardashian made fried chicken for everybody. And, like, that was her. Her vine for the day. And Kevin Hart was like, yo, this is the best fried chicken I've ever had my entire life. That was crazy.

[Damaris]

Kev, you from Philly. That's not the best fried chicken you had in your life. Cut it off.

[Rory]

You don't remember that song?

[Damaris]

Yeah, I remember them all going off.

[Maul]

On this podcast about it.

[Rory]

So I don't think it was quite like that. But, I mean, you. You gotta lie to your girls sometimes with the food. I see what Clay was doing.

[Damaris]

No, that don't look bad, though, that. That fish and spaghetti don't look bad. Now, the rolls, I mean, you could have got some garlic bread. Like, that's, you know, I would have went, garlic.

[Rory]

You don't like a Hawaiian?

[Damaris]

Just a nice Hawaiian spaghetti. Now give me some garlic.

[Maul]

Yeah, No, I don't want no Hawaiian bread with spaghetti.

[Damaris]

Give me some garlic bread, man. Toast some garlic bread. Give me that. I'm cool.

[Rory]

She could have did a little paint with the Garlic. You don't know? You can't tell by.

[Damaris]

No, I don't. I don't know. I'm just. I don't want to roll. Give me some garlic bread, though. Give me some garlic bread.

[Maul]

I could do a roll if it's toasted with the garlic butter. If you toast it, it's because it's the texture. I don't want a soft roll with spaghetti. But if you toast and broil the.

[Damaris]

Garlic, we need a little crunch to the bread.

[Maul]

Yeah. So if you do the Hawaiian roll with garlic and. But even then, the Hawaiian rolls are sweet. Yeah, I'm cool. I'm cool. He right, mom.

[Damaris]

Yeah. No, I want. Give me some garlic bread.

[Maul]

Yeah.

[Damaris]

The only thing I didn't like about the spaghetti, I don't like when people make the spaghetti, the noodles, like the pasta and not mix it in.

[Maul]

Oh, see, I don't like that. That's nasty.

[Damaris]

You want. You don't like it mixed in? No.

[Maul]

Put my shit on top.

[Damaris]

Nah, that's crazy to me.

[Rory]

Depends what it is.

[Damaris]

Spaghetti, nigga. What you mean, depends on what it is?

[Rory]

If you're making bolognese, that goes on top of the spaghetti after, that's separate. Separate. But if you're just doing, like, some quick sauce or whatever, you want to mix it up.

[Damaris]

That's what I'm saying.

[Maul]

Yeah.

[Rory]

Like, no specific type of sauce. You got to put that.

[Maul]

Everybody in the house has different sauce ratios. So be mixing they and put it on my plate, and I'm like, that ain't enough sauce. Like, no. I like. Like, you put the amount of sauce on the spaghetti that you want.

[Rory]

Yeah, that's what.

[Damaris]

Nah, y' all bugging.

[Rory]

I'm on that side. I will say something that white people. We need to come to the podium for this trend of laying newspaper and shit on your dining room table and pouring all the spaghetti for your kids to have fun with that tick tock trend. There's other things we need to go on the podium for.

[Damaris]

But they're pouring the food on top of the news.

[Maul]

They having spaghetti boils.

[Rory]

Pretty much, yeah. It's, like, fun for the kids. Like, they literally take all the dinner and. And throw it on onto the table. Like, this is fun for the kids. We all have a good time.

[Damaris]

All right, My question is, do people know how dirty newspapers are?

[Rory]

Yeah.

[Damaris]

Okay. That's what's up. Up.

[Rory]

Same way when people put money in their mouth, I'm like, guys, disgusting. Money is.

[Damaris]

Who is putting money in their mouth?

[Rory]

That was a duck thing at one Point.

[Maul]

And then they'll take that same money that was just in their mouth and throw it at strippers. The shit beyond the floor getting stepped down in strippers ass cracks and be surprised that they got bumps on their lips. I'm so fooled.

[Damaris]

You talking about what you can see with that dollar. You don't even know where that dollar. The lifespan of that bill. You don't know where that bill came from. You just talking about right now in the strip club. Like, where did that.

[Rory]

It's like the intro to Lord of War when it shows you the how the bullet made before it goes into the kid's head. Like. Like, you know that dollar.

[Damaris]

It's been through some.

[Rory]

Didn't they say at one point every dollar bill had at least like 20% of cocaine in it or some?

[Damaris]

Yeah, it depends on if you was like.

[Maul]

Like you're not supposed to touch cash before you go. I think see people in jail or something like that, because when they touch your fingertips, you're going to have cocaine on your fingertips.

[Damaris]

Who said that?

[Rory]

I remember the rumor.

[Damaris]

We got to start getting to the bottom of who's saying this, man. Who's saying that?

[Rory]

We used to get drug tested in college for traffic track. I don't know why. Like, who cares? But they were like, yo, don't eat a poppy seed bagel before. I'm like, get you the out of here. It's gonna show up.

[Damaris]

Heroin. Cut it out.

[Rory]

What are we doing?

[Damaris]

Yeah, that's. That's stupid.

[Rory]

How many times have you lied to a woman about her cooking?

[Damaris]

A few times.

[Rory]

Yeah, countless times.

[Damaris]

Yeah, but we talked about that before. Like, everybody. Like, y' all could cook. I could. People say that, but it's like, if you grew up with people in a family that can really cook, cook, it's hard to really like other people's cooking because it's like, bro, this ain't. To y'. All. To y' all family. This is good. Like, where my family, where I come from, this is like, this is terrible.

[Rory]

Have you ever went from the relationship where the girl could really cook, her family could cook, and then go to the next one and she's probably a bit more healthy as a human being. You're happier, but all the food is trash.

[Damaris]

Yeah.

[Rory]

And you start thinking, like, you know what? I'd rather get abused by back. Back on the other side.

[Damaris]

Rather get cheated on. As long as. As long as the food is better.

[Rory]

At least I can heat something up in the fridge after that. Yeah, I. I've lied about food to get some before. But the worst I've done is lying about the amount of hot sauce I can handle on food. To not look in front of her. Her family. Like, you know, certain people that.

[Damaris]

Oh, yeah, you get a lot of West Indians. So you. So that. That pepper sauce that, you know.

[Rory]

You know West Indians that keep pepper sauce, it's in a container. That's not. It's not like, you don't buy it. They make it, and they put it in, like, a specific jar that you can't. You can't see through.

[Damaris]

No. Put that in a good Mason jar on the back of the fridge.

[Rory]

Yo, the first time, like, I was at, like, a family dinner and. Oh, pepper sauce. Like, of course I want peppers. Like, it's. You think I'm. You think I'm one of those right now? I'm one of the cool whites. Just throwing that on my Right.

[Damaris]

Oh, no. Yeah. You can't do that. You're supposed to.

[Rory]

I got no. Because I was peeing out of my ass.

[Damaris]

Yeah, yeah. You're supposed to just dip the fork in it and kind of like, just.

[Rory]

And then you just sitting there red as at the table. Like, it's not even that hot.

[Damaris]

No. Like, yo, hot sauce and pepper sauce, two different things.

[Rory]

Oh, no. Pepper sauce is. Is different.

[Damaris]

Yeah. That's a whole different level of heat.

[Rory]

The Christmas pepper sauce is even crazy.

[Damaris]

Yeah. Whole different level.

[Rory]

They make pepper pot.

[Damaris]

I don't really like. Like, I don't know how people eat spicy like that, though.

[Rory]

Like, I don't even think pepper sauce is. Is. Well, at least real west. Anyone? Yeah, that. Like, I don't even know how you're really enjoying this, but I like.

[Damaris]

Nose is running.

[Rory]

I like hot sauce. I prefer hotter food, but not like that. That is.

[Damaris]

I mean, why do you even do this? A little flavor.

[Rory]

Yeah.

[Damaris]

A little kick. But when this is too spicy, what are we doing?

[Maul]

Yeah. Yeah. There's no way you're in.

[Damaris]

I'm blowing my nose. I can't even really enjoy this. Like, my mouth is burning. Like, I. I just never understood that. I think people just. That's something that people like to say.

[Rory]

They.

[Damaris]

I put pepper sauce. That is too hot, bro.

[Maul]

Yeah.

[Rory]

I've definitely judged women when I've been out. Like, whether outside of eating while you smoke hookah, because I think that's insane. But, like, when I've been out in group settings and, like, women order wings, and then I take. Oh, you want a wing? And I take one, and it's super hot. I'm like, do you take care of your body?

[Maul]

Body?

[Rory]

We're in a public setting. You're eating hot wings and smoking hookah. What? Like, what do you do when no one's looking?

[Maul]

Yo, I saw a.

[Rory]

You ever been out some eating hot wings? Like, dog? Like, I like spicy food too. Just get the regular buffalo. Like, what are we doing right now?

[Maul]

I like hot wings. Hot wings don't make me. I can't eat hot anymore because as I've gotten older, my asset reflux is terrible. Like, I will be. I will have the worst heartburn of my life. So that's why I don't eat hot things anymore. But not everybody's booty hole is loose like yours. Like, some of us can eat hot and like, not have to.

[Rory]

Hot food. All right, Pepper sauce is one thing.

[Damaris]

Yeah, that's. That's a whole different thing.

[Rory]

I'm just saying. Why are you just consuming hot spicy food in a group setting with, like, at the lounge?

[Maul]

Because it's good.

[Damaris]

What?

[Maul]

Like, what?

[Rory]

Why wouldn't you just get the teriyaki wings?

[Maul]

No tear. That's nasty. Why don't you just get regular.

[Rory]

Get garlic parmesan. I don't care if you're breath stink.

[Damaris]

What's the best meal you cook for a guy?

[Maul]

Guy the best. Me.

[Damaris]

How soon do you cook for a guy?

[Maul]

I'm very careful with giving out certain things. And y', all, you know, y' all listeners are going to say that I'm lying and all this like that. What I have realized is that sometimes you want to get rid of A. So sometimes you don't do things that make it harder to get rid of a. So until I know whether I want to get rid of you or not, there's certain things I won't give you food. Like, it's just certain I've learned my lesson on. So it depends. It depends on the guy. Depends if I'm cooking and I happen to have some food and I really, really like you. Maybe a couple months in for some. But I flew to Atlanta to cook a meal after two weeks, two or three weeks of knowing somebody.

[Damaris]

So you flew to Atlanta and cooked for a guy after dating for two weeks.

[Rory]

Swag. Yeah, man, I gotta meet him.

[Damaris]

Salute him.

[Maul]

We technically, we cook together. He made fried catfish for me and I made.

[Damaris]

Made the sides.

[Maul]

I made the sides. Yeah. Macaroni, cabbage. So techn. Yeah, okay.

[Damaris]

So y' all kind of. Y' all was just in the kitchen. It was like a.

[Rory]

You know, it's a bonding experience. Yeah.

[Damaris]

Like, we talking. Got Some wine going.

[Maul]

But he. He. He flew me to Atlanta cuz he said he wanted to taste my cookie. He said I told him that Rory. Actually, I was in Rory's house.

[Damaris]

Taste my cooking, though. He wanted to taste. He wanted to taste what. What your mama made. That's what he wanted to.

[Maul]

I was at Rory's house and Rory.

[Damaris]

That's what he wanted to taste. My bad. Go ahead. I'm sorry.

[Maul]

I was at Rory's house and Rory was. Was Me and Roy were having a conversation about how I had the best macaroni and cheese he ever had. Do you remember that? And he was like, I don't believe you. And I was like, it's for. I don't believe you. He said, okay, I'll fly you to Atlanta. You can make it for me. And I did.

[Damaris]

And I'll fly you to Atlanta. Let me see how good your Mac is.

[Maul]

Devil entendre. Don't even ask me how.

[Damaris]

I mean, I didn't want to go there, but flew.

[Rory]

Lay up right there.

[Damaris]

You said, I hear you, but, you know, confirmation. Check your email. I hear you, but check your email.

[Rory]

Yeah, but I. I can say it does take Damaris because it was what, my 31st second birthday? I'd known Damaris fucking eight years at that point. Finally cooked for me. Angel hair Mac and cheese.

[Damaris]

I gotta. I gotta try your Mac.

[Maul]

And you had prime rib.

[Rory]

Oh, yeah, that was that.

[Damaris]

I gotta try your Mac. Your baked Mac on time. I gotta stop.

[Maul]

I gotta stop. No. Cause you're not gonna say I sent you to the bathroom when it's reality. You don't eat dairy and that's why you went to the bathroom.

[Damaris]

No, but it's not going. It's not gonna, like, send me to the bathroom like that.

[Maul]

I put five cheeses in mine.

[Damaris]

That's cool.

[Maul]

Okay.

[Damaris]

It's not gonna. It's not gonna kill me like that, but I'm just. I'm not gonna go crazy. I'm just. Just taste it. Okay. I just want to taste it.

[Maul]

But yeah, that was. That was the. That was. The quickest I ever cooked for a man was two weeks. Two and a half weeks.

[Damaris]

Two and a half weeks.

[Maul]

Yeah. So I'm going on vacation tomorrow. God bless.

[Damaris]

God bless.

[Rory]

He must have liked the Mac and cheese.

[Damaris]

No, he loved the Mac and cheese. He loved her mama made. All kind of like.

[Maul]

How do y' all hide it if y' all eat food from a girl in his nest?

[Damaris]

I hide the plate. I throw the plate in the trash.

[Rory]

You flip it on its Back.

[Maul]

You know that. Like, that don't work. I'm. Cause I'mma flip the plate back over.

[Rory]

That don't work.

[Maul]

And I'm watching you eat. She's watching you eat. It's not. When you at, like, grandma house and somebody nasty made, like, the tuna fish salad and you can just flip.

[Damaris]

How nasty is it?

[Maul]

All right. Scale.

[Damaris]

Is it just like. Yo, it ain't. It ain't like my family, how I'm used to eating. But it's like, it's okay. If it's okay, I'll eat it.

[Maul]

It's Next. It's a 5 out of 10 total.

[Rory]

You can eat through it.

[Damaris]

I'm not eating no 5 out of 10. I'm not doing that. No. I'll be like, yo, nah, this ain't like, Yo, I ain't gonna lie. This is a little bland. This ain't a little more flavor.

[Maul]

You gonna say that to her? Yeah, I would wanna.

[Damaris]

I gotta eat this, Put this in my body. I'm not just doing that just because you cooked it. Like, if it's trash.

[Maul]

Trash.

[Damaris]

Like, I wouldn't do that nowhere. If he's at a restaurant anywhere, if his food is trash. I'm not eating it just because I paid for it. I'm not eating it just because you cooked it. Like, I'm a grown man. Okay, I'm gonna eat with some good. This is terrible right here. I'm not.

[Rory]

You're not saying that you're. You're not a mean person.

[Damaris]

That's not mean.

[Rory]

That's mean.

[Maul]

If somebody not as ass. That's all to take out is crazy.

[Rory]

So like, a girl you like.

[Damaris]

That is not me.

[Rory]

Sometimes lying is actually nice.

[Damaris]

Being mean as if it's good and you be like, all right, this. You know. That's mean.

[Maul]

It's like, yo, I don't think that's me. I've had that happen to.

[Damaris]

But if it's trash, and I'm telling you it's trash, why does that mean that we grown. We ain't no little kids. I'm not giving you a participation trophy. Yo. You did your best.

[Maul]

No, it's not. You don't have to lie and say it's good. I think there's ways to say that it wasn't satisfactory without you.

[Damaris]

I'm not saying satisfactory. I'm just not. I'm not.

[Rory]

I'm not saying satisfactory.

[Damaris]

I'm not saying satisfactory. So we need another word. What's another word?

[Rory]

It's a bit below par.

[Damaris]

Yeah. I'm not I'm not. I'm not saying any of that.

[Maul]

Just say, we'll be honest, babe. Like, I really like it like that. I don't know if today was an off day or if, like, this usually how you make it, but, like, this ain't really it. But, you know, you look good making it.

[Rory]

Hey, it's something like that.

[Damaris]

You look good.

[Rory]

It's not for me.

[Maul]

Yeah, it's not for me.

[Damaris]

Who is it for?

[Rory]

The dog he got for the trash can.

[Damaris]

Yeah, the dog can eat it. Like, he gonna fuck this up. But, like, me, I'm not eating that shit. If it's not good, it's not good. Like, if you know my personality, you know, if I say something to you like, yo, this is trash. It's not. Cause I'm trying to be mean. It's like, yo, this is really bad.

[Maul]

You not saying that to a. You trying to be bad, bitch bad. You are Halle Berry. Halle Berry doesn't.

[Damaris]

According to David justice, she don't cook.

[Maul]

So, okay, so she met Ma, and she was like, I'm a. Fuck it. I'm gonna try it. She spent five hours in the kitchen cooking you a delectable trash.

[Rory]

Five hours.

[Damaris]

It's trash.

[Maul]

It's trash.

[Damaris]

I see why David justice left. Makes all the sense in the world now. Cause for years we didn't know how he left her fine ass. Now it makes sense.

[Maul]

I doubt he left her, but.

[Damaris]

Yeah, no, I think he left it. I think that's. That's if I remember. Because y' all was. Y' all was young. Y' all don't remember that. I think David justice left her. I think so.

[Maul]

Oh, okay.

[Damaris]

I think that's. I think that's how I went.

[Rory]

I actually never even knew they dated. I knew. I mean, I knew Yankees, David Justice. I never knew he dated Halle Berry.

[Damaris]

When he was with the Yankees. I was with the Braves when he dated Halle. He's with the Yankees when he did Halle, right? Braves, mostly. Yeah. Yeah. But I think he left her. I think he broke up with her. I think he called it off. And for a while, people was kind of like, this nigga's crazy or gay. That was another thing, too, because he had a hoop. He had, like, a hoop earring. You don't see. Really. See baseball players with hoop earrings. So it's kind of like you left Halle Berry, like. Yeah, he ended the marriage with Halle Berry. Yeah.

[Rory]

Okay. And who was my. My man's had, like, the. He's like a sex addiction or some.

[Damaris]

Eric Min.

[Rory]

Yeah, Eric Renee. Eric Renee went right to Twitter when Jay Z said that never go Eric Renee. I feel like David Justin, Eric Renee. Probably, like, they. They text. Like, everyone doesn't understand. That is crazy.

[Damaris]

I could see that. I could see them having a group text saying something like that.

[Rory]

I don't understand why people think that's nuts. That men will leave extremely beautiful women.

[Damaris]

I mean, like, because some people don't get extremely beautiful women. They don't date a.

[Rory]

That. That does not mean that she's saying. And good for my life. I don't know.

[Maul]

Put that on H. Because nobody.

[Damaris]

Berry. I'm not. Definitely not saying this.

[Rory]

She's happy.

[Damaris]

She's doing her thing. Shout out to the beautiful, legendary Halle Berry.

[Rory]

But to me, that's always been nuts. Like, yo, he must have that. He. She must have left him. No, maybe that pretty is crazy.

[Damaris]

Yeah. But for Halle, I might have had to deal with it. Nah, I'm like, me and my crazy, too.

[Maul]

But Rory don't do that, because whenever they see a woman that's single, they always. Or like. And there's a breakup, it's always, she can't keep a man. She can't keep a man. That's the number one thing. Like, oh, why you can't keep a man? And it's like. Like, well, maybe I got rid of the. Who said I couldn't keep him if I didn't want it? That's the number one thing when. Whenever a girl breaks up with someone, everybody always, oh, she can't keep a man.

[Damaris]

Hie clapped back, too. You saw her post, cooking, cleaning with her husband.

[Maul]

Like, h. Like, she didn't seem very motherly. She didn't see what she couldn't clean. She ain't want to do it for you.

[Rory]

Well, baby, first of all, I did think that was corny that David justice did that to me.

[Damaris]

That was super cool.

[Rory]

Yeah. Like, I'm not. I'm not defending David justice here. That you talk about your ex being mother. Like, that's corny as fuck. She moved on.

[Damaris]

And the cocky part is all those. It was almost 30 years ago.

[Maul]

Yeah, like, well, I think they asked him. I could be wrong. I think they asked him why they broke up. And he said, because I was immature and I had these ideas of what a wife or should be, and she wasn't fitting into that.

[Damaris]

Okay. If he said that that's how I went, then that's fair.

[Rory]

Either way. Nah, don't talk about your ex from 30 years ago.

[Damaris]

Well, if that's how he answered it, There was nothing wrong with that. He's saying he was immature. He didn't. He had these ideas of what he thought a wife should be. And so, yeah, they was young. I get that. I'm not mad at that now. If he was just on.

[Rory]

Sorry my superstar actress wasn't cooking for me every day. Yeah.

[Maul]

What are we doing? Like, what we. What are we doing? Like, some, like.

[Damaris]

And this is 97. This is when Halle was. She might have been. She might have won an Oscar a couple years before. After that and.

[Rory]

All right. How many games did this in MLB season? 162 games. When was you even home to get the meal?

[Maul]

My thing is, this is like. I know a lot of people cook for survival. Like, most people cook for survival. I cook out of enjoyment. So even if I became rich and famous and couldn't afford a chef, I would still find a way to cook a meal because I cook out of enjoyment. Most people cook for survival. Like, so we can hire a cook and a maid and all of that shit. Y' all got the fucking money for it.

[Rory]

All right, So I saw that on Twitter when they were doing the gender war thing again with this entire entire thing. But let's leave them out of it. I still do think, though, there is some romance with. On both sides, cooking with your partner. I don't care if we're for sure. If we're billionaires and we could get a chef, for sure, we could get a maid. I. I understand all that, but there is something romantic. What Damaris was saying. I'll make the sides, homie. Cooking the fish. Like, I. There's. That's a bonding experience that I think is important. And I think all adults bless you. You should, like, at least have some life skills. I don't care how rich you are in that regard. Yeah, no, like, you gotta kind of know.

[Damaris]

You gotta know your way around the kitchen a little bit how to cook.

[Rory]

Like, even Beyonce, that clip. That's hilarious. When she's like, I don't. It looks like I don't know how to cook. That's accurate. Beyonce has been a superstar since she was seven.

[Damaris]

Yeah.

[Rory]

Of course, she probably doesn't know how to cook, but I'm sure it's still fun if her and hov just try. Yep. Let's go try to do something in the kitchen.

[Damaris]

I'll make the crack, you make the Max.

[Maul]

Please.

[Rory]

Let's go to Whole Foods. Make it a day. All I need is bacon soda.

[Damaris]

Yeah.

[Rory]

Home.

[Damaris]

Go to Costco, get the Costco baker soda.

[Rory]

The Costco Baker Soda. Oh, you got the plug. Plug, yeah.

[Damaris]

Oh, you know the. Oh, you know the man, man, you know the real. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Rory]

He owes me 100 flavors.

[Damaris]

Yeah, that's a fact.

[Rory]

That's funny. Well, yeah, I'm sure Halle Berry could probably cook. I forgot what we were on before the.

[Maul]

That we were talking about Meg and Klay Thompson spaghetti. Their cute little relationship. Their relationship.

[Rory]

Good for them, man.

[Maul]

If you women. What I will say is, I've had this conversation with some of my younger homegirls because they'll be like, you know, like, he was taking me out for dates, and then, like, I started cooking for him and he started, like, coming and just like, kicking his feet up and the date stopped. And I'm like, well, him coming to your house should have stopped. First of all, number one, don't make a too comfortable in your home immediately. Don't do that. Because then men like being comfortable. So once a man finds somewhere for being comfortable too, of course, but once he finds somewhere to be comfortable and kick his feet up and get food, like. Yeah, like the effort and shit that he used to put. Not all, but most. Some. I won't even put out most. Some. If he gets too comfortable, then, yeah, no, he's not gonna take you out as often. Why would he do that? Why would he go and spend the money that it takes to. To go out and stuff when he could just have you cook and put in all that effort? Just don't do that too early. That's the stuff that you save for a while. If you wanna cook for a man, bring him a plate, have him come over. Just don't do that too early. That's all I'm saying. From experience and from what I've seen, other people.

[Damaris]

People. Experience.

[Maul]

Don't. Don't start playing somebody's wife and girlfriend before you're not ready for a wife, girlfriend, girlfriend. No, it's not just that. Just don't do it too early. Men don't value things. They get too early and they get too easily.

[Rory]

That's so untrue.

[Maul]

Just because it's un. Just.

[Rory]

Yo.

[Maul]

I'm.

[Rory]

The two longest relationships. I. On the first night, I'm.

[Maul]

Okay, that's. That's not what I'm saying. And also your two oldest relationships were when you were how old? Old.

[Rory]

In my 20s and my 30s.

[Damaris]

Yeah. About to say just a few years ago.

[Maul]

At the end of the day, hey, not everybody's you. I'm the only here sucking dick. Correct. I'm the only person in Here date men.

[Damaris]

Well, I can't speak for the other gentlemen in here. I have never sucked a dick.

[Maul]

I'm just saying that's the only person that date.

[Rory]

One in four person who talks to.

[Maul]

People daily who date men. I'm telling you, not all, but a lot of men do not value things that they get too easily. Men like a challenge for things. If you give them everything all at once they get. And pussy, love, affection, food, everything. There's nothing for them to aspire to. You've given them everything immediately. You've given them everything in the first month for kids, nothing for them to.

[Rory]

People in their early 20s. Yes, I think you should tell them that. But for yes, grown adults, man, if you want to that person.

[Damaris]

I wish at my age a woman would try to slow walk me to love.

[Rory]

Either moving today or we not talking.

[Damaris]

We live together tonight.

[Rory]

I'm on lesbian time.

[Damaris]

Like I'm not. You can't. Don't slow walk me at my age.

[Maul]

I'm not talking about sex. If you want to have sex on the first night, that's whatever. I'm just talking.

[Damaris]

No, not even sex. Cuz it's not even that.

[Maul]

Anything else. Don't give men immediately. That's all I'm saying.

[Damaris]

No, now that I agree with.

[Maul]

That's. That's all I'm saying.

[Damaris]

But that's anybody. You should never just jump out the window and give everybody all of you.

[Rory]

Well, yeah, obviously. Well, either way, yeah. Young king, don't give all your self worth to these hussies out here anyways. Don't listen to the Maris because it's. It's another side to that coin. Us as men need to relax too. She shouldn't get all your jokes. She shouldn't give her your. She shouldn't get like a lot of.

[Damaris]

Yeah, don't give her your best material on the first night.

[Rory]

Even like, you know that date spot that you take every girl to like maybe I don't do that for the second date. Don't. Don't even let her know your bowling score yet.

[Damaris]

Slow slow walker.

[Maul]

Oh God, the bowling date.

[Damaris]

Yeah.

[Rory]

What's wrong with the bowling date?

[Maul]

It's cool. I'm sure it's good. Cool.

[Rory]

No. Yeah.

[Maul]

Like that must be Josh. Go to Josh Said. What's that mean?

[Rory]

I'm with Josh. That's. I love a bowling date. I like a bowing date. I love taking a girl to Dave and Busters and going, yo, I haven't been here in like 20 years.

[Maul]

You are horrible people.

[Rory]

I'm joking. But the fact that Josh laughing me.

[Damaris]

That's his.

[Maul]

Josh said yes.

[Damaris]

He can't wait to go to. He got the card in his wallet. Like he keep the card.

[Rory]

He got like real points and.

[Damaris]

And like saving up for that PS6. Oh my God.

[Maul]

Dave and Buster's date led to my longest relationship. So I love Dave and Busters.

[Rory]

I love Dave Busters too. And don't do that because you were doing shots and Dave Buster's. Khloe Kardashian. Yeah, but you definitely got the card in your.

[Damaris]

I had it. That car was good for like a year.

[Rory]

She signed it.

[Damaris]

You think Chloe signed my Dave and Buster's card?

[Rory]

That's sick.

[Damaris]

No, did. Did not happen. I might still have that card cuz it said Happy birthday. There's her name on it. So I might still have that card because that was like a collectible.

[Maul]

David Busters is a good date because I gotta see how competitive you are, but I also gotta see like how fun you are.

[Rory]

Yeah, it's a. It's a great date.

[Maul]

Yeah, like I gotta see what you. What's your competitive? Because I'm an Aries, I'm super competitive. Like, I take everything really, really seriously.

[Rory]

Here's my issue with the Dave and Buster's date with being competitive. Because I do this weird thing where I actually like, listen to women and they always be like, yo, don't let me win. Like, like, let's really do this. And then I'd. Then I'd go smoke her. And then she's salty. She quiet salty.

[Damaris]

Ass neck. Yeah, quiet for the rest.

[Rory]

Like, you told me to do this.

[Maul]

No, see, I'm not like that. I just want.

[Rory]

I've done that in bowling too.

[Maul]

We won't leave because we gonna keep playing till I win. Like, I'm like that.

[Rory]

Like, you don't even know the double pedal on cruise in usa. Like, I can't even with you. You don't even know what the double pedal does.

[Damaris]

Nothing humbles you more than when you date a gym girly.

[Rory]

Oh, I'm cool.

[Damaris]

And y' all start play fighting. Like play wrestling one and you gotta use your real on her. Like. Like you gotta dig deep to kind of get up off you on the bed where you like. Yeah, y' all go ahead and date them gym girlies. They be strong as a. You go in there playing if you.

[Maul]

Want to even the average, like the app when it comes to like leg strength. The average woman, like, our legs are strong just even. No matter whether you work or not. Women's legs are really, really strong. So you around and let a girl.

[Damaris]

Lock her legs around so much. Walking around the kitchen. So, like, I'm sorry.

[Maul]

I almost told you. I almost said that was inappropriate.

[Damaris]

That was. That was inappropriate. Don't. My bad. That was inappropriate.

[Rory]

Walk to the grocery store.

[Damaris]

Yeah.

[Rory]

Walk with the kid. You know what they're supposed to do.

[Damaris]

I get it.

[Maul]

Yeah.

[Rory]

But you were saying wrapping the legs around. That's why plan B exists, because y' all have strong ass legs and you wrap them.

[Maul]

Oh, that's why you're playing B. That's why Amara here, because she wrapped her legs around.

[Rory]

That was intentional.

[Maul]

Yeah.

[Rory]

I looked right. Right in our eyes and said, yeah, this is happening.

[Damaris]

Rory Yelly, let it ride. It was no accident. Yeah.

[Rory]

Wait, how'd you know the name already?

[Damaris]

It was no accidents with him. He knew exactly what was happening.

[Rory]

I've definitely had the. The leg wrap Boston Crab, though, and.

[Damaris]

Tried to pull out and couldn't at that point. Go ahead, let go and let God.

[Maul]

Spray and pray.

[Damaris]

That's what I say. Let go and let God. That's you. That. Hey, you did the. Wrap the chicken wrap around my. I. That's on you. That's on you. I was trying to pull out so good.

[Rory]

Clearly, it was my body and your choice. Yeah. I can't move now.

[Damaris]

Don't start that, cuz. We wasn't going to another conversation.

[Rory]

It was a joke.

[Damaris]

It wasn't a political. No, I wasn't going to get political. I was going to have a conversation.

[Rory]

But I feel like if. If a girl does put you in the Boston Crab and wraps you around and you can't pull out, like, maybe. Maybe I'm less Republican in that regard. Like, I'm with the Democrats on this side. Let's get rid of this thing. Like, look, she. This is not fair. Look what she did to me.

[Damaris]

She trapped you.

[Rory]

Yes. Anyways.

[Damaris]

Hi, baby. Don't be flying to Atlanta cooking no more Mac no time soon.

[Rory]

Why?

[Damaris]

Cause you just, you know, just chill. Don't give him double Mac. Don't double back for the double Mac. Don't do that.

[Maul]

I'm in a relationship. Like, that's. That's what. Wait. All right.

[Damaris]

Oh, Maggie.

[Rory]

Said this on the bottom already.

[Maul]

I thought this. I thought we had already.

[Rory]

Oh, that was Patreon.

[Damaris]

She never said that.

[Maul]

It's in the last clip. Rory said, damaris, you're a lesbian in a straight relationship. He said that in the last clip?

[Damaris]

No, I'm saying you have not said you're in A relationship. That's the first time you've ever looked at me and said, I'm in a relationship. You've never said that to me before.

[Maul]

How did you not know that?

[Damaris]

That. That you were in a relationship? Yes, Baby D. How would I know that you're in a relationship? How?

[Rory]

Cuz you allegedly.

[Maul]

Well, yeah, I mean, you in a relationship, but yeah, I was surprised.

[Damaris]

I didn't know that.

[Maul]

You didn't know that?

[Damaris]

No, I had no idea. That's breaking news right there. You just broke that on our platform. Yeah. Baby D's in a relationship.

[Maul]

Okay, let's.

[Damaris]

The title.

[Maul]

No. What the. No.

[Damaris]

What you mean? Stab it close. Flip it.

[Maul]

Hold on.

[Rory]

I appreciate that you gave that. I thought you were going to give that exclusive to drink champs. I'm. I'm glad that you gave it to us.

[Damaris]

Nori, I'm in a relationship. What? Nori, I'm in a relationship.

[Rory]

EFN make some. No.

[Damaris]

Y. Give me. We'll drink to that. We'll drink to that.

[Rory]

Yeah. No. Yeah, I figured. Breakfast Club. No, I'm happy that we got. That's how you know Mar.

[Maul]

Don't pay me no attention. Everybody in the office know. Benner knows that.

[Rory]

Yeah.

[Damaris]

I just thought you were dating. I didn't know it was like a full. Like my boyfriend. That's your man. Your man. Your man. Three times. That means you just got three. That's all.

[Maul]

That's not. Don't. Hey. Hey. Please.

[Rory]

They don't listen to the pot. Only one listens to the pod.

[Damaris]

So that's. That's what we talking about. You, sir, either.

[Maul]

That's why I'm able to be in a relationship. I was. If I. I could not be in a relationship. If that.

[Damaris]

If you think that he don't listen.

[Maul]

He watches the clip clips, though. But he don't.

[Damaris]

He listen. He listening.

[Maul]

He does not listen.

[Damaris]

He listening.

[Maul]

I promise you.

[Damaris]

He is. Listen, Baby D, I'm a guy. I'm a man.

[Maul]

I'm telling you to never endure y' all just to hear me.

[Rory]

Damaris. Somebody that has been in two full relationships in my 10 years of potty women. Every time they say I don't even listen to that.

[Damaris]

They're listening.

[Rory]

They listen. They listen to everything.

[Damaris]

He's listening. He's listening.

[Rory]

He subscribes to the $20t here.

[Maul]

A fake name I don't even want to. Please.

[Rory]

Every time they say they don't listen, they listen.

[Damaris]

One more trip to Atlanta, you gonna see. You gonna leave his laptop over you. You go see the pod, right?

[Rory]

Yeah. Don't. Don't check his history for other women. Check his history for patreon.com.

[Damaris]

See? See what podcast he subscribed to. We there 100%.

[Rory]

Check his statements.

[Maul]

He doesn't have to listen to this podcast. He talks to me 24 7. He knows every single thing. I.

[Rory]

You gonna find a Karma Te in his class closet?

[Maul]

Nah.

[Damaris]

On sale now. Get one of those, baby.

[Maul]

Well, y' all know I'm not going to be in the next episode because I'm going to be on that is vacation.

[Rory]

Yes.

[Maul]

But I will be zooming in because it is our 400th episode, and that's important.

[Damaris]

Is it? First of all, we've done more than 400.

[Maul]

No, we. We.

[Damaris]

But it's okay. You know what I'm saying? We could. We could. We could skew the numbers a little bit. All right?

[Rory]

I was on the side. Everyone was like, yo, we should do something crazy for the 400. 400 episode.

[Damaris]

Whatever.

[Rory]

And I was like, whatever. It's just a number. Now that Damaris is doing a little zoom in, I feel like maybe he could be our guest. It's 400. We gotta. We gotta celebrate some 400.

[Maul]

Go to the birthday party. He want me to zoom in. He not weird.

[Damaris]

I've been told you that. Yeah, but he said he wanted to go to birthday party. I was like, why?

[Rory]

It's weird that I don't want to meet one of my best friends in the whole world's boyfriend.

[Damaris]

I mean, meet him at his birthday parties weird. And then wanting him to swim in while he's on vacation is double weird.

[Rory]

You know I'm lying about all that.

[Damaris]

No, I know, but I'm just saying. That's still weird, though. But meeting him is cool. Yeah, I want to meet him next time he's here. Next time he's in New York. Let's. Let's all go out, get some dinner.

[Maul]

Ma, you so. Hold one moment. Hold the.

[Rory]

We'll go to the movies. I can't get Ma to do shit for me.

[Maul]

I can't get to show up for nothing.

[Damaris]

For me when. When you have invited me and I didn't show up.

[Maul]

I introduced you to you and you like, yo, what's up? You don't care.

[Damaris]

I don't even remember you introducing me to a nigga. Where was this at? Where was we at seven years ago?

[Maul]

@ one of our live show after parties.

[Rory]

Oh, yeah, it's true.

[Damaris]

Oh, but that's like. That was like a mix and mingle. I don't I didn't know. I didn't know that that was, like, the guy you were seeing. I just thought you was introducing me to somebody. Like, yeah. Unless you be like, yo, this is my man, my man, my man. Then it's like, yo, what's good? Then it's that. You know what I'm saying? But if you like, yo, Maul, this is. I don't know that this. That's the guy. But now that we know. Now that you stamped it. I'm in a relationship. I'm going on vacation. I'm zooming in from the sand and all of that. Like, yo, next time he's in New York, bring him by. Bring him by the studio.

[Maul]

Okay.

[Damaris]

Just so he can see your workplace, your work environment. You know what I'm saying?

[Maul]

Okay. He's anti social, so I enjoy.

[Rory]

Yeah, so the office is better than.

[Damaris]

He don't want to go out. He want to stay in.

[Rory]

Yeah.

[Maul]

Because staying in is more intimate. He gotta actually talk to y', all, like, at dinner. Like, it's like, you know, what do you do at dinner with other. With other people that we don't really. You talk to each other? Not they all. I talk to y' all 24 7. I never want to talk to y' all at dinner.

[Rory]

We would only talk to him because we only talk to him.

[Damaris]

You're not even here. Like, we know you already. Like, we just gonna get to know. We gonna grill him a little bit. Like, yo, so where you from? From what side? East side. Oh, and I was. My people's over there. What high school you went to? You know, I gotta give him all of that. I'm gonna get the carfax on the homie. I'm gonna find out if he a rat. I'm like, yo, you got locked up when?

[Rory]

Look, how much time did you jail?

[Maul]

I don't date men that go to leave.

[Damaris]

You don't do what?

[Maul]

Okay.

[Damaris]

Yo, D, who are you talking to here? You talking to me?

[Rory]

She just left out the. Anymore, okay.

[Damaris]

Anymore, okay. You changed your okay.

[Maul]

I've only dated two men that have.

[Damaris]

Been in jail before and three that's in the cemetery.

[Maul]

Like, why you.

[Damaris]

I'm just saying they didn't get killed.

[Maul]

Well, whatever. Anyway, at the end of the day, he has never been to jail.

[Damaris]

Okay. All right. So good. I like that. I like that for you.

[Maul]

I'm not dating a hood Muslim.

[Rory]

That could be because he ratted.

[Damaris]

Aha. Taste the soup. We'll talk to y' all soon.

[Rory]

Be safe, be blessed.

[Damaris]

I'm that he's just ginger. Peace. Chances are you've been to the doctor recently and you probably handed over your insurance, your ID and even your Social Security number. Your doctor is just one of many places that has your personal info and if any of them accidentally expose your details, you could be at risk for identity theft. LifeLock monitors millions of data points a second. If you become a victim, they'll fix it, guaranteed or your money back. Save up to 40% your first year. Call 1-800-LIFELOCK and use promo code iheart or go to lifelock.com iheart for 40%.

[Maul]

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[Rory]

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[Rory]

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[Rory]

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[Maul]

This is an iHeart podcast.