New Rory & Mal Podcast – Episode 399 | Crack and Mac

Date: August 22, 2025
Podcast Hosts: Rory, Maul, Damaris

Episode Overview

This episode of New Rory & Mal is a meandering, often hilarious reflection on everything from childhood gym class awkwardness to the state of pop music and the marketing of up-and-coming artists. The trio dives into off-the-rails tangents about funerals, adolescence, and cooking for significant others, ultimately landing on debates about authenticity in the music industry and the spectacle of modern boxing. It's a loosely structured, talk-heavy episode with lots of jokes, relatable nostalgia, and unfiltered commentary, making for an easygoing, feel-good listen.

Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Show Open and Podcast Merch (02:53–05:47)

• Rory and Damaris introduce new podcast merchandise, joking about how podcasts are always about pushing more products—merch, tours, Patreon.
• Maul reframes it as creating experiences and entertainment that listeners genuinely support:
  • “You are providing experiences and entertainment and in return, your listeners are supporting you.” (05:01)
• They riff about integrating Patreon benefits with merch and scheme on creative (and absurd) ways to boost sales and engagement.

2. Morbid Humor & Death in the Family (07:27–13:38)

• The crew embark on a wildly dark but comedic discussion about the logistics and etiquette when someone dies at home.
• Rory ponders awkward post-passing moments:
  • “Who breaks the silence and is like, ‘Alright, so who’s gonna call?’” (10:48)
• Maul clarifies standard procedures (hospice, 911), while Damaris injects morbid humor about not wanting to be the first to call the authorities.
• They joke about the peculiarity of wakes and how modern technology (e.g., livestreamed funerals, Bluetooth in caskets) is changing the mourning process.

3. Sneaker Drops at Your Grandma’s Funeral (13:38–16:29)

• Rory tells a story about once trying to buy John Elliott sneakers during his grandmother’s funeral, leading to a playful roast from Maul and Damaris.
• The group debates the desirability of John Elliott shoes and the tricks brands like Kith play with online appearances versus in-store reality.

4. Can You Still Run a Mile? (16:46–21:56)

• The hosts challenge each other to mileage and athletic feats; Rory claims he can run a mile in under 8:15.
• They propose recording the challenge for Patreon, sparking friendly doubts:
  • Maul: “You’re not doing no mile in eight minutes, bro. I’m not rolling with that.” (17:56)

5. Jumping Jacks, Puberty & Gym Class Memories (21:56–27:34)

• Spirals into jokes about people forgetting how to do basic exercises.
• Rory admits to being distracted by puberty in gym:
  • “When you was going through puberty, jumping jacks, Dom. I couldn’t do. I couldn’t do jumbo jacks. I couldn’t concentrate.” (22:34)
• The nostalgia deepens as they reminisce about adolescent sexual awakening, awkward firsts, and the sweaty, gritty reality of teenage encounters.

6. Pubic Hair, The Bush Era & Off-the-Rails Adolescence (27:09–29:27)

• The conversation veers into TMI territory about how much more pubic hair they saw as teens, referencing generational and cultural era shifts ("Bush era").
• Maul notes the episode has already managed to go from funerals to puberty in record time.
• They jokingly connect historic eras (e.g., “the Bush era”) to personal experience.

7. Conspiracy Jokes & 9/11 Virginity (29:27–31:27)

• They riff on 9/11 truther topics and turn it into a bit about significant milestones post-9/11.
• Damaris: “I shouldn’t be this close to someone who lost their virginity after 9/11.” (28:07)
• Light-hearted admissions about grieving and romance under surreal conditions.

8. Home Safety, Potty Training & Parenting Stories (31:27–35:00)

• Maul describes meticulous bedroom- and bathroom-locking habits, which leads to a sidebar on apartment fire safety.
• Rory shares stories about potty training his daughter, Amar, including her love for bathroom routines sans actual results.

9. Tyla: Pop Stardom, Marketing, and Rihanna Comparisons (40:31–51:42)

• Damaris claims Tyla was supposed to become "the next Rihanna," prompting a broader dissection on the music industry's failures to break new black pop acts.
• The group debates whether poor promo, lack of "it factor," or misunderstanding from American audiences is to blame for Tyla’s underperformance post-“Water.”
• Maul: “I just think that she’s just going through artist development in real time.” (50:55)
• Rory: “I don’t want to get personal, but… there’s always that it factor too.” (43:40)

10. Music Industry and Black Pop Acts: Why Don’t They Break? (52:09–59:05)

• The hosts struggle to name the last genuinely new, black, female pop star America has embraced.
• Maul observes: “Pop music...for the longest has been centered toward the young teenage white girls. And young teenage white girls don’t support and push as heavy for someone they can’t...see themselves in.” (54:07)
• They posit that cross-genre records (R&B-pop) are the only formula currently working, and straight pop is no longer breaking new artists.

11. Lil Nas X – Troll or Trouble? (59:05–64:23)

• Breaking news: Lil Nas X’s possible overdose caught on TMZ. Rory speculates it’s just another troll, given Nas X’s history of stunts:
  • “You are also the boy that cried troll. So I don’t typically believe anything you do.” (59:18, Rory)
• Damaris argues that with LAPD and TMZ involvement, maybe the concern is genuine, but all agree the lines between real struggle and rollouts are blurry in 2025.

12. Musical Generations, Nas vs. Chief Keef & Appreciating Your Predecessors (65:35–72:28)

• Talk about Fabio Foreign not knowing Nas or Dipset, despite collaborating with legends.
• Damaris: “If you have a record with Nas, at some point…I think you should go listen to Nas’s catalog.” (70:22)
• Debates ensue about whether it’s fair to expect artists to know their roots, or if opportunism and lack of context are just part of modern music.

13. Does Cooking for a Date Give Away Too Much Too Soon? (104:19–117:08)

• The team advises against “playing house” before commitment is on the table, particularly for women.
• Maul: “Men don’t value things they get too early and too easily.” (116:16)
• Rory and Damaris push back: “At my age, a woman trying to slow walk me to love? Not a chance.”

14. Food Preferences, Spaghetti Debates, and Hot Sauce Trauma (95:39–103:55)

• Lively debate about the “correct” way to serve spaghetti, the authenticity of Meg Thee Stallion’s catfish-and-spaghetti meal, and the perils of hot pepper sauce in West Indian households.
• Shared stories of lying about whether partner’s food was good in order to keep the peace—or get laid.

15. Jake Paul vs. Tank Davis – Boxing’s New Era (80:41–95:24)

• Explosive reactions to the announcement of Jake Paul vs. Tank Davis—a classic “circus meets prime” fight.
• Rory: “Congrats to the Paul brothers, by the way. If anyone wants to question anything, you have been solidified, stamped as a professional boxer for the rest of your lives.” (86:49)
• Damaris jokes about betting on Jake Paul just to see what happens due to the size and reach advantage.

16. Relationship News – Damaris Goes Public (122:10–124:55)

• Damaris casually reveals she’s in a relationship for (apparently) the first time on the podcast, and the guys tease her about her boyfriend (“your man, your man, your man.”)
• Rory: “I appreciate that you gave that [relationship exclusive] to us. I thought you were gonna give that exclusive to Drink Champs.” (123:19)

Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• On podcasting as endless sales: "I feel like podcasting has just turned into, like, how much can we get the audience to buy more?" – Rory (04:49)
• On adolescence: “Every neck was salty as a teenager. Everybody was outside dirty.” – Damaris (26:51)
• On breaking black pop stars: “When was the last new black pop act, especially female, that did well?” – Rory (53:03)
• On slow walking relationships: “At my age a woman would try to slow walk me to love? Either moving today or we not talking.” – Damaris (117:19)

Timestamps for Key Segments

• Merch, Advertising, Life of a Podcaster: 02:53–06:41
• Morbid/Funeral Humor: 07:27–13:38
• Sneaker Drops at Funerals: 13:38–16:29
• Physical Feats Debate: 16:46–21:56
• Puberty, Childhood Gym, and Pubic Hair: 21:56–29:27
• Conspiracy/Nostalgia Tangent: 29:27–31:27
• Safety, Potty Training & Parenting: 31:27–35:00
• Tyla, Pop Music & Industry Analysis: 40:31–51:42
• Why Black Pop Acts Don’t Break: 52:09–59:05
• Lil Nas X Overdose/Troll?: 59:05–64:23
• Music Roots & Nas vs. Fivio Foreign: 65:35–72:28
• Relationship, Gender Roles & Cooking: 104:19–117:08
• Jake Paul vs. Tank Davis Reactions: 80:41–95:24
• Damaris’ Relationship Reveal: 122:10–124:55

Tone & Style

The conversation remains light, irreverent, and filled with off-the-cuff banter. The group leans into their chemistry, mixing seriously insightful critiques (especially on music marketing and artist development) with playful roasts and sidebars about adolescence, dating, and food.

For New Listeners

This episode is a whirlwind of inside jokes, tangents, and relatable scenarios; perfect for those who like their pop culture mixed with autobiographical storytelling, genuine hot takes, and raw, unfiltered comedy. It’s also a great showcase for the hosts’ talent at balancing critical musical discussion with everyday life commentary.