Episode 427 | Thanksvegan Dinner

Summary

New Rory & MAL – Episode 427 | "Thanksvegan Dinner"

Release Date: November 27, 2025
Hosts: Rory, Mal, Damaris

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Episode Overview

In this pre-Thanksgiving episode, the crew hosts a "Thanksvegan" dinner—a Friendsgiving featuring an assortment of vegan dishes. The conversation swings from hilarious taste-test reactions and hot takes on vegan food to personal family Thanksgiving traditions, relationship stories, and reflections on what they're thankful for in music this year. As always, the banter is irreverent, candid, and filled with memorable side tangents.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. What Is "Thanksvegan"? – Setting the Scene

• [03:30] The hosts gather for a Friendsgiving dinner, trying out vegan dishes none of them (besides Damaris) have eaten before.
• Mal jokes about having "invented" Friendsgiving, and the group cheers to sharing a meal together.

2. Vegan Dinner Taste Test & Reactions

• [04:39] – [12:25] The main focus at the top is trying the various vegan dishes, which leads to a rapid-fire series of reactions:
  • Vegan Mac and Cheese is deemed passable, but "unseasoned Hamburger Helper."
    • “It’s not good, but it is.” – Rory [09:30]
  • Jerk Mac and Cheese gets roasted.
    • “That white sauce might be the worst white sauce I’ve ever had in my life.” – Mall [11:48]
    • “You described that perfectly. Yes. Oh my God, that's so bad.” – Rory [33:45], reacting to the second bite.
  • Vegan Wings (Tofu): They poke fun at the attempt to mimic meat, leading into a classic comparison about vegans and meat substitutes.
    • “Listen, man. Some animals should die. That’s all I’m saying.” – Mall [13:14]
    • “Why do vegans try to make this shit... Why y'all trying to make it even look like chicken?” – Mall [13:46]
  • Damaris stands by the dishes, but Mal and Rory stay skeptical.
  • The group teases each other about their vegan commitment and food preferences.

3. Family, Thanksgiving Traditions & Awkward Relatives

• [16:08] Holiday traditions come to the fore—stories about family members at Thanksgiving, leftovers, cooking roles, and awkward family guests.
  • Rory reminisces about "One Beer Charlie," a problematic uncle.
    • “...That’s all it takes for him to start talking about the Jews.” – Mall [16:24]
  • They joke about bringing plates to relatives who live in campers, family dynamics, and parents' romantic lives.
  • Thanksgiving with both sides of Mal’s family was chaotic, but “incredible.”
  • Everyone debates Turkey leftovers, the “white” vs. “Black” Thanksgiving staples (mac & cheese vs. mashed potatoes), and building the perfect leftover sandwich.
    • “Throw a little mash in the sandwich. Starch on starch.” – Mall [20:41]

4. Favorite Animals, Childhood, & More Banter

• [14:20] Lighter moments include sharing favorite animals (elephants, cheetahs, pandas, otters), with quips about cheetahs vs. cheaters, and why everyone seems to love green beans.
  • “What's your favorite animal?” – Mall [14:09]
  • “Cheetah. And panda. Cheetahs and panda bears.” – Rory [14:38]
• Koalas enter the chat, leading to a running joke about chlamydia and who gave it to whom.

5. Relationship Talk & Parental TMI

• [24:21] They reflect on bringing partners to Thanksgiving and the first time both families mix.
• Candid conversations about their parents’ relationships, privacy, and “intimacy” take a wild turn.
  • “There was definitely times in high school where I was like, I just wish my mom would smoke some weed and get some dick.” – Mall [26:42]
  • “Hate is a very intimate emotion.” – Rory [26:22]

6. Cooking Dynamics: Who Handles Thanksgiving Duties?

• [33:21] The crew outlines their household responsibilities for holiday meals:
  • Damaris is “always in charge of the Mac,” her mother still makes the dressing and pound cake.
  • Mal boasts of his southern green beans with bacon.
  • Stories of family members dodging kitchen duties and praise (or lack thereof).
    • “Feeding people is very...I love feeding the people that I love.” – Rory [34:44]

7. Music: What Are You Thankful For?

• [46:41] They each reflect on moments in music that stood out in 2025:
  • Damaris highlights the "Mass Appeal Legend series" for its attention to detail and quality.
  • [47:42] Rory and Mal discuss Drake’s Iceman livestream as an inventive, risky move by a superstar, even if it fizzled.
    • “It was just something that was different.” – Damaris [47:54]
  • Mal is grateful for a new Clipse album, calling them one of his favorite groups ever.

8. Vegan Journey & Dietary Changes

• [42:11] – [44:36] Damaris shares how she quit red meat in 2005, transitioned to pescatarian in 2018, and later embraced veganism after meeting a West Indian vegan chef.
  • “Every time I bit into chicken, my mouth would start watering like spring water. Like, I feel like I had to throw up...” – Damaris [42:37]

9. Pizza Debates & Bronx/East Village Food Talk

• [45:10] – [46:32] The crew goes local, discussing the best slices of pizza in NYC, with special mentions of the Bronx, Dyckman, and East Village pizzerias.

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Notable Quotes & Moments

• On vegan food fails: "That white sauce might be the worst white sauce I've ever had in my life." – Mall [11:48]
• On why vegans imitate meat: "Because people miss chicken. Duh." – Rory [13:52]
• Thanksgiving leftovers innovation: “Throw a little mash in the sandwich. Starch on starch.” – Mall [20:41]
• Parents and intimacy: “Hate is a very intimate emotion.” – Rory [26:22]
• On cooking for family: “Feeding people is very...I love feeding the people that I love.” – Rory [34:44]
• On dietary change: “Cheese is harder to give up than heroin.” – Damaris [44:14]
• Reflecting on music: “The attention to detail they gave it...I think we got incredible albums from all of the artists.” – Damaris on Mass Appeal Legend Series [47:03]

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Important Timestamps & Segments

• [03:30] – Intro to "Thanksvegan" and vegan dinner plans
• [04:39 – 12:25] – Tasting and reviewing vegan food, escalating reactions
• [14:09] – Favorite animal segues
• [16:08] – Family Thanksgiving stories
• [20:41] – Thanksgiving leftover sandwich inventions
• [24:21] – Partner/family merge Thanksgiving stories
• [33:21] – Who cooks what for Thanksgiving
• [42:11] – [44:36] – Damaris's vegan/diet journey
• [45:10] – NYC pizza hot takes
• [46:41] – Reflections on music this year

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Tone & Style

The episode is loose, comedic, and peppered with signature tangents. The hosts mix light roasting, candid oversharing, and genuinely heartfelt moments, all punctuated with irreverent humor and unfiltered opinions.

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Final Thoughts

This "Thanksvegan Dinner" is classic New Rory & MAL: a motley mix of chaotic group meal, honest friendship, food reviews, and casual therapy session. Whether they're groaning over bad vegan jerk sauce, reflecting on changing family roles, or reminiscing about the Bronx, the show's off-the-cuff energy makes the listener feel like they're right at the table.

For the rest of the vegan dinner, subscribe to their Patreon!

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Happy Thanksgiving!

Transcript

[Rory]

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[Mall]

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[Damaris]

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[Mall]

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[Damaris]

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[Mall]

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[Damaris]

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[Mall]

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[Damaris]

The new Benedict Cumberbatch movie, the Thing with Feathers.

[Mall]

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[Damaris]

The volume.

[Rory]

No worrying. Oh, my God. Are we friends? Is this friendsgiving?

[Damaris]

All right, well, welcome.

[Mall]

Is supper a white thing? Yes. We always said dinner, though. My family never said supper.

[Rory]

We gotta have enough money. Supper's a. Supper's a. Yeah, it's more of a ritual.

[Damaris]

Supper's a time, too. Like, 6pm is supper. Okay.

[Mall]

7Pm would be dinner. Dinner. Gotcha. Okay. Really?

[Damaris]

I think so. Anytime I heard somebody say supper. The sun was still out.

[Mall]

Vaughn was old enough to go to the supper club.

[Damaris]

Yeah, I've been to the supper club, actually.

[Rory]

How was it?

[Damaris]

It was cool.

[Rory]

Oh, yeah.

[Damaris]

Which is cool?

[Mall]

Like, you can't tell us. Was Frank Sinatra there?

[Damaris]

No, not that supper club. Another supper club, but. All right, so it is the holidays, and, you know, I know we kind of canceled Thanksgiving over the years, even though every year we celebrate Thanksgiving, but that's neither here nor there. So going to do a friend's giving. This is like, you know what you invented? This is. Yeah, I kind of invented this thing. This is my thing. But I ordered some vegan, Some vegan plates, some vegan dishes so we can try them. Let me know what you think. This is my first time.

[Mall]

Just pour the wine that I poured you from the cup. Don't try to hide to our viewers.

[Damaris]

Yeah. No, no, no.

[Rory]

This is.

[Damaris]

Everything is on the go.

[Mall]

I got a red cup.

[Damaris]

Yeah, yeah. I'll have some of the devil's nectar.

[Mall]

Yes, I. I got you. I don't want to show a label because we're not.

[Damaris]

We're not sponsored.

[Mall]

Yeah, they didn't.

[Damaris]

They didn't give us the. There you go. Thank you. We'll take some of the.

[Mall]

It's a little chilled.

[Rory]

Okay.

[Damaris]

Well, I love them all.

[Rory]

Drink with me.

[Mall]

Yeah, no, this feels. This almost feels like the. The painful Chinese cereal you get. You get nothing.

[Damaris]

It's nothing. All right, so I ordered a few different vegan dishes, and I haven't. I never ate from this spot, so we're all trying this together for the first time as a family.

[Mall]

It smells great. It smells great. I'm not on the side.

[Damaris]

Can be deceiving, but we're gonna try it. It's all vegan.

[Mall]

I still think it's gonna suck.

[Damaris]

So we're gonna. We're gonna start with.

[Mall]

That looks amazing.

[Damaris]

This is the. This is Mac and cheese.

[Mall]

That looks incredible.

[Damaris]

Listen, man, we just gonna dig in?

[Rory]

Yeah.

[Mall]

Wait, we didn't think this through. Josh, can you get some spoons? Yeah, yeah.

[Damaris]

Josh, get us some spoons, please.

[Mall]

Okay, Greens. This makes sense.

[Damaris]

Got some wings?

[Mall]

Okay, thank you. Wings. Oh, shit. See, I'm already gonna light the whole place on fire.

[Rory]

Oh, God, Rory. Oh, those are real candles.

[Damaris]

Oh, Brussels sprouts.

[Rory]

Well, those are all right.

[Mall]

Brussels sprouts are gonna be great. I'm not worried about the veggies. I'm very nervous on eating this impossible meat. Here. Pause.

[Damaris]

We'll just try it.

[Mall]

Man, this looks great. What is. Is this the jerk Mac and cheese that you ordered?

[Damaris]

I don't know if that one is jerk. Open up one of the other ones. Okay, we'll figure it.

[Rory]

Wait, that was. Wait, he really ordered jerk Mac and cheese? That's vegan.

[Mall]

Once Mal gave me the menu, I was ready to just sit here and go through everything. Serving spoons.

[Damaris]

Thank you, Josh. You're doing a great job, man. Don't let him tell you any different.

[Mall]

This looks like the same. See, Mal, you ordered all this, so you need to tell us exactly what everything is.

[Damaris]

One of these is just the Mac and cheese, and one of them is jerk Mac and cheese with meat.

[Mall]

This looks like ground beef.

[Damaris]

Yeah, it looks like it, but it's not.

[Mall]

All right, so what. Explain to me what vegan shit is, like, plant based.

[Damaris]

It's all plant based. It comes from.

[Mall]

Okay, so what plant is this either, like.

[Damaris]

Either vegetables or. It comes from some. A lot of it. A lot of things you find is, like. Which I stay away from is like tofu, like soy. I try not to do too much.

[Mall]

Of that, but they said that the whole impossible meat thing was bad, though.

[Damaris]

No, I mean, everything is bad, but.

[Mall]

You know, like, it's more processed than I think any meat.

[Damaris]

Oh, yeah, for sure. Definitely. Without a doubt.

[Mall]

Okay, so then. So vegan may be worse for me.

[Damaris]

Well, vegan, it depends on what type of vegan you eat. This is like, kind of like almost fast food vegan.

[Mall]

Well, I mean, before I take a bite, would you like to lead us in prayer?

[Damaris]

Would I like to lead in prayer?

[Rory]

Let us.

[Mall]

Let us get our.

[Rory]

Would I like to lead us.

[Damaris]

Do you have everything to. Where's the spinach at?

[Rory]

I didn't get it. Right here.

[Mall]

Spinach is right here.

[Damaris]

Okay, I'm gonna try this One right there.

[Mall]

I already know spinach is gonna be good. I already know spinach that's already vegan. I already know what time it is with that. Oh, okay, here. This is the jerk chicken.

[Damaris]

Oh, that's the jerk Mac and cheese.

[Mall]

Yes. So then what Mac and cheese is this?

[Damaris]

This is just regular Mac and cheese.

[Mall]

But it's not with the ground beef.

[Damaris]

Yes.

[Mall]

Well, not ground beef.

[Damaris]

Yeah. Impossible ground beef. It's impossible that that's not me. It's impossible that that's not me. So, Baby D, you over there, Baby D, over there mixing.

[Rory]

I'm just trying to see what the.

[Mall]

Is going on. So do you feel like I trust you?

[Rory]

I'm trying to trust you. Have you eaten here before?

[Damaris]

I've never had this. Baby D. No, I've never had this, but this was.

[Mall]

There's only four vegan spots in the world.

[Rory]

Not in. They're fucking everywhere.

[Mall]

I was really.

[Rory]

Well, you. As you guys know, if you were on our Patreon, if you're not, you need to be. Me and Ma had our vegan date, but he took me to a nice place. He got you, like, some bullshit, like.

[Mall]

Well, that's why this smells good, though. I'm not mad at this.

[Damaris]

Yeah, no, we're gonna try it. Let's try everything.

[Mall]

Let's dig in. Do you think, like, the marriage is gonna lead us in here?

[Rory]

I got you.

[Mall]

Why you became vegan was you really wanted to take, like, the pause game that your family invented to the next level. That you think it's even gay to even.

[Damaris]

No, I just tried it. I thought it was good. So I was like, okay, we can do this. This is. I can do. I can do vegan. We can have vegan food.

[Mall]

It's the straightest thing you can do.

[Damaris]

Are we gonna hold hands, not eat meat?

[Rory]

All right, all right. Are we all of the same denomination?

[Mall]

I'm Catholic.

[Rory]

Oh.

[Damaris]

I don't believe in religion.

[Mall]

You have on a Jesus piece.

[Damaris]

I believe in God, not religion.

[Mall]

You have angels and a Jesus piece on.

[Damaris]

I believe in God, not religion. There's a difference.

[Rory]

Well, God, higher power, whatever. One of the saints that Rory prays to. Thank you so much.

[Damaris]

The New Orleans Saints is who he prays to.

[Mall]

Hey, I'm actually Muslim, which is crazy. Shh.

[Rory]

I just want to thank you for having us all together, letting us be able to celebrate another year of the new Rory and Mall show together as a family. I want to thank you for the food and the hands that prepared it. Please let them have been clean. Keep Us blessed and have this. Give us the shits or make us sick. Amen.

[Damaris]

Amen. It's non dairy, baby. So you're not gonna.

[Rory]

Dairy is not the only thing that.

[Mall]

Makes you way poison.

[Rory]

It does too.

[Mall]

Yeah. The way your stomach handles dairy now is probably how mine's going to deal with this. Oh, this is just Hamburger Helper.

[Rory]

This is definitely hamburger.

[Mall]

This is Hamburger Helper.

[Damaris]

Okay. Not bad. It's not terrible, right? Not terrible.

[Rory]

It's not good, but it is.

[Mall]

Yeah. It's like if I had to be a vegan, yeah, this would be fire to a vegan. But this is just like unseasoned hamburger.

[Damaris]

It's not bad. It's not terrible.

[Mall]

I just feel like. Shouldn't they season at least the peppers? Like, I get the fake meat part, but at least season the other vegan shit.

[Rory]

The Brussels are.

[Mall]

The cheese is not funky.

[Rory]

Oh, you can hear us chewing, right?

[Mall]

That's why I didn't even want to do the lap mics. Peach is sick. That's how I know Peach is sick with the laugh mics. I know you're hearing every last some ASMR of us eating, which is gross.

[Rory]

I was telling people. Well, some people like that sound. Me, I'm one of those people, but.

[Mall]

Yeah, but it depends who it is, though.

[Rory]

I was telling Peach that we couldn't have the big mic sitting up here in our faces while we're trying. Like, that's crazy.

[Mall]

Not get it. But at least I could move the mic away while I'm chewing. How's the jerk one? I have not tried it yet. This is all right. The ground beef. Fake ground beef. I'm not mad at it. I would eat that and think it's just unseasoned ground beef. This. I'm. Let me get a little more of the white sauce on it. But then again, the white sauce doesn't even have dairy in it, so it's probably shitty white sauce.

[Damaris]

Eat it. Oh, that look.

[Rory]

Oh, that's nasty. They're looking at. That's nasty.

[Damaris]

Rory, which one was that? The. The jerk.

[Mall]

That is so bad.

[Rory]

It's bad.

[Damaris]

Yep. Oh, my God. Let me try. That is so bad.

[Rory]

Wait, Ma, you trying.

[Mall]

Can we not show this.

[Rory]

This.

[Mall]

This place, by the way, I don't even want.

[Damaris]

Rory, you're the only one that can see that.

[Rory]

Nobody can see you.

[Damaris]

Cool.

[Mall]

I just want to make sure we're not shooting on a restaurant. Oh, my God.

[Rory]

Why not? If it's shitty, it's shitty. Oh, you're sweet. Okay, sorry.

[Mall]

Yeah. I don't. I don't want to do that to a restaurant. That's bad. Holy. You have vegan taste buds.

[Damaris]

It's not that bad. He's being dramatic.

[Rory]

Let me see.

[Mall]

Tamara, did you tell you live in.

[Damaris]

I like the other one better, though.

[Mall]

No, this is. I'm not mad at this. I would eat a whole platter of this.

[Rory]

This is nasty. So if y' all saying this is worse, I know this is nasty.

[Mall]

That white sauce might be the worst white sauce I've ever had in my life.

[Rory]

Well, you don't even know what the. What the sauce is. You just keep saying white sauce because it's white sauce. Yeah, but there's. It goes without white sauce. It's not the white sauce from the corner store. It's from the bodegas.

[Mall]

That's just, like, terrible yogurt.

[Damaris]

I like the jerk one.

[Mall]

That's what I'm saying. That jerk is bad. But this. Whatever this one was called on the menu, I'm not. Thank you, thank you, thank you. I'm not crazy. That's the worst shit I ever tasted in my life.

[Rory]

That is nasty.

[Mall]

It's so fucking bad. That's bad. That's bad. All right, so now the other one's.

[Damaris]

Better than that one. The regular one, not the jerk one.

[Mall]

So what am I biting into here?

[Damaris]

That's probably soy.

[Mall]

No, I can see there's soy sauce on it. What type of meat?

[Damaris]

There's no meat.

[Mall]

I know, but, like, the.

[Damaris]

It's soy.

[Mall]

What is soy? Tofu.

[Rory]

Tofu.

[Mall]

It's tofu. Okay.

[Damaris]

All right.

[Rory]

Rory, go ahead. You go first.

[Damaris]

What is it?

[Mall]

Yeah, this is supposed to be what, A barbecue.

[Damaris]

Barbecue wing.

[Rory]

Are we biting at the same time?

[Mall]

Wait, but I'm trying to think with real barbecue sauce. Is there anything animal product in there?

[Damaris]

Barbecue sauce?

[Rory]

No.

[Damaris]

Good stuff.

[Mall]

I'm cool. I'm cool.

[Rory]

No, I don't like stuff that appears like. I don't. I don't like fake wings anywhere.

[Mall]

Listen, man, some animals should die. That's all I'm saying. Yeah, and that ain't it.

[Damaris]

The first Mac was good.

[Mall]

That's the only one I'm gonna keep eating. What the is that? But. All right, so why do they try to make it? I don't even like the way it look. It's with me. Here's my thing. I understand why lesbians use dildos.

[Rory]

Oh, fuck you.

[Mall]

Even if they don't like dick. I imagine that's the sensation that works. How the Lord put it together.

[Rory]

You can like dick and not like men, but yeah, go ahead.

[Mall]

Fair. Why do vegans try to make this shit? Why does this. Like. Why are y' all trying to make it even look like chicken?

[Rory]

Because people miss chicken. Duh.

[Damaris]

I'm not one of those people, but.

[Mall]

So you're basically a lesbian?

[Damaris]

No. No. I don't know how you got to that, but no, I'm definitely not a lesbian.

[Mall]

Your man calls himself a lesbian.

[Rory]

Well, does your wife have to be vegan?

[Damaris]

No. Not at all.

[Mall]

So she can do whatever she wants. What's your favorite animal?

[Damaris]

Like, in the forest?

[Mall]

Yeah.

[Damaris]

Or like, in the world?

[Mall]

Yeah.

[Damaris]

Like, what's.

[Mall]

Since we're saving the animals right now, like, what's your favorite animal?

[Damaris]

I love elephants, man.

[Mall]

Pause.

[Damaris]

Love elephants.

[Mall]

Why?

[Damaris]

They're just, like, so. So majestic.

[Mall]

They are majestic.

[Damaris]

So beautiful.

[Mall]

Have you ever seen an elephant give birth?

[Damaris]

Yeah.

[Mall]

It's fucking crazy, right?

[Damaris]

They just sit down and keep walking.

[Mall]

And then the baby keeps walking.

[Damaris]

The baby comes out walking.

[Mall]

What's your favorite animal?

[Rory]

Cheetah.

[Mall]

Why?

[Rory]

And panda. Cheetahs and panda bears.

[Damaris]

Well, you know why her favorite animal is a cheetah?

[Mall]

Cause she likes the men that run away.

[Damaris]

Cause she's a cheetah.

[Mall]

Fuck you. Oh, I get it. Because she's cheating. Got you.

[Rory]

Anyway, I like cheetahs. They're really fast. They don't with humans, and then they don't with humans. They don't be bothering humans, and then.

[Mall]

How many humans just be chilling with cheetahs?

[Damaris]

Yeah. How many?

[Rory]

But other animals will attack. Like, other animals in the jungle will attack a human. There's, like, maybe two reported cheetah attacks in the world. Like, she doesn't.

[Mall]

Let me see the ballistics. Yeah.

[Damaris]

Yeah. How did they get the right cheetah?

[Rory]

You know, ballistics got to do with guns, right? That's okay. It's okay. It's Thanksgiving. Kids don't gotta know how to read. Yeah. Cheetahs don't be with nobody.

[Mall]

Yeah. But anytime a human is killed by an animal, it's the human's fault.

[Damaris]

Yeah. He was in some animals.

[Mall]

Why are you over there?

[Rory]

No, for sure.

[Mall]

Mind your business.

[Rory]

For sure. But I like panda bears, too. I think pandas are really cute.

[Mall]

Pandas. Pandas. And koalas.

[Rory]

They're cute.

[Mall]

Koalas get chlamydia.

[Rory]

We know they caught it from you and your people.

[Mall]

I've never. A koala. I can assure you. Now I'm just letting you know.

[Rory]

Can you assure me?

[Mall]

Like, I'm. If there's one thing I can tell you, I'VE never. With koala. I've never seen a koala. I've had chlamydia, though.

[Damaris]

You got it from the koala, so.

[Mall]

So otters are my favorite animal.

[Rory]

Is there anybody during Thanksgiving like, y' all don't look forward to? Like, any family members y' all don't look forward to? One Beer Charlie. I told y' all about him. My uncle. They call One Beer Charlie. He's coming.

[Damaris]

One Beer Charlie.

[Rory]

I told. We had a whole episode about that. I told you. He only bring one beer. Yeah, he bring the one to talk in.

[Mall]

Tall boy. Yeah. That's all it takes for him to start talking about the Jews.

[Damaris]

No, that's a sick nigga that walking around with one tall can of beer.

[Mall]

Yeah, he don't have to bring 22 ounce or 40.

[Rory]

And then he come to my house every time. Put that dog up. Oh, my dog's dead now she won't be there. Damn, that just made me really sad. But every other Thanksgiving, he's like, yo, put that dog up. She live here and you bring. I have like a. I have a big dog. But she's friend, like, she's. She was. She's an American bully, but she. She want her to fly.

[Damaris]

Oh, okay.

[Rory]

She litter, though. You ain't bring. Ain't bring her no toy, no offerings, no beer. Ain't bring the rolls, like, Ain't bring.

[Damaris]

You let her play with the can after you finish drinking the beer.

[Mall]

This is how. Of course, we're recording this before Thanksgiving. It's coming out on Thanksgiving. This is when my dad Text me at 4:19pm My godfather's house in Jersey Shore. And he said somebody forgot to put the hidden key back at the shore house. Kevin has a doctor's appointment tomorrow. Any chance I can stay at your house tonight? I had no idea my dad was even in New Jersey.

[Rory]

He be moving and grooving.

[Mall]

I had no fucking idea he be moving to Groovy. I didn't know he was coming for Thanksgiving. I didn't know anything.

[Damaris]

He lives a life, man.

[Mall]

Not even a heads up. Y' all be in Jersey. Yo, can I stay at your house?

[Damaris]

He figured it out. Yeah, he figured out how to move through life. I'm just at my Winnebago and just go.

[Mall]

But that's what I'm saying. Can I stay at your house? You got your little camper joint. Like, it ain't that cold out.

[Damaris]

It's not yet.

[Rory]

Doesn't it have heating?

[Mall]

Like, I've been in it once. I didn't Stay the night.

[Rory]

Oh, I feel like you said there's.

[Mall]

Not enough room for both of us.

[Rory]

You said I didn't stay the night. I'm trying to figure out if I could ever date a man that was like riding around in a Winnebago.

[Damaris]

No.

[Rory]

Why?

[Damaris]

You can't date a nigga that got a two bedroom condo.

[Mall]

Don't do that.

[Rory]

That's not true.

[Damaris]

Okay, you can date him. Is it gonna work out?

[Rory]

Whatever.

[Damaris]

Anyhoon, Just saying.

[Mall]

What's. What's the first Thanksgiving you guys did with a significant other? I've only done one.

[Rory]

Anymore.

[Mall]

Why?

[Damaris]

I've only done one.

[Mall]

Only done one. But both families coming together at my crew.

[Damaris]

Oh, no.

[Rory]

Oh, that's what you're doing? Oh, no. I've never done that.

[Mall]

All the guy needs together in one house on Thanksgiving and even.

[Rory]

So much racism.

[Mall]

Also, people that aren't like, really? I consider them family, but they're not blood. Like, that's how big that Thanksgiving was. We just had everybody there.

[Damaris]

How was it?

[Mall]

Oh, it was incredible, actually. Probably one of my favorite Thanksgivings ever.

[Damaris]

Like, what was the food like?

[Mall]

Who.

[Damaris]

Who was responsible for most of the food?

[Mall]

Guyanese. I. My suggestion was, let's just let all the Guyanese side cook. They cook way better than us. But my mom, as stubborn as she is.

[Rory]

Shepherd's pie.

[Mall]

I'm a cook too. So it was both sides. We had all the fold out tables, everything of traditional Thanksgiving and good Thanksgiving. And you could clearly see what side was picked, which trays was.

[Damaris]

You could see which trays was the lightest.

[Mall]

I will say this. We made a lot of turkey noodle soup for the next two weeks. Oh, first of all, turkey noodle soup is good, y'.

[Damaris]

All. Turkey noodle soup.

[Mall]

Instead of chicken noodle soup, you take the leftover turkey. It's good.

[Damaris]

Why, y'. All. That's chicken noodle soup.

[Mall]

I know, but it's with turkey. Yeah, but it's the same thing. It's. Yeah, I'm gonna do the same thing. That's my favorite part of. Outside of doing the sandwich the next day with the cranberry sauce.

[Rory]

And cranberry sauce on a sandwich is nasty.

[Mall]

That's. You are out of your.

[Rory]

Although, look at the whites. The whites are about to riot.

[Damaris]

No, you gotta do the.

[Mall]

You gotta do the way they spread the mayo on a sandwich the day after Thanksgiving. You spread that cranberry sauce on the bread like it's mayo.

[Rory]

It's supposed to be mayo. It's supposed to be mayo.

[Mall]

No, you can throw some mayo with the cranberry sauce. I'm not mad at that. Oh, my gosh.

[Damaris]

Do you close the sandwich or leave it open like a hot, open turkey?

[Mall]

Well, usually I do it on rye bread. See, peas. Know what I'm talking about?

[Rory]

Yeah, that's why it's white. That's why they agree on you. That's why you.

[Mall]

Yeah, usually I do it on a rye bread. So it's. It's an open sandwich. Cause it's on rye.

[Damaris]

The next day, I'm still eating it when I was.

[Mall]

I'm eating it.

[Damaris]

Right.

[Mall]

Throw a little mash. Throw a little mash in the. In the sandwich. Starch on starch. Like. I'll do that.

[Damaris]

Mashed potatoes on the sandwich is just a little light.

[Mall]

Just a little light, light. Little touch of some little.

[Damaris]

Just like a little.

[Mall]

All the leftovers in between rye. Okay.

[Damaris]

Okay. So it sounds a little aggressive, but if it's light mash, that's what. It's almost like a. It's like a. Like a sauce.

[Mall]

It's like a turkey sandwich. Yeah, it's just turkey sandwich.

[Damaris]

Okay.

[Mall]

Oh, yeah, the stuff. I mean, stuffing on the sandwich. Stuffing on before I even put the turkey there.

[Damaris]

Yeah, No, I never had that.

[Rory]

Yeah, I just.

[Damaris]

I'm usually just.

[Mall]

So what do you guys do with their leftovers?

[Rory]

I just. Well, we eat our leftover. Like the plate. We eat again, like, the same plate we had.

[Damaris]

Plate is already made.

[Mall]

We got.

[Rory]

Yeah, my plate already made. I put it in the microwave. At 12 o' clock in the afternoon.

[Damaris]

You put everything on there except the potato salad.

[Rory]

Potato salad. And the cranberry sauce.

[Damaris]

And the cranberry. So you leave all that that's in the fridge.

[Mall]

A terrible joke at the time that this pod is in at the moment, but Thanksgiving might be the only thing we're creative at over black people. We were creative how the whole thing pushed out, but you guys just. You're just heating up leftovers. We're getting busy making sandwiches.

[Rory]

Y' all have to. Because y' all food is fucking nasty.

[Mall]

That's true.

[Rory]

Yeah, that's what.

[Damaris]

That's why you have to, like, remix it and. Yeah, put a little more on there. Us, we got the plate that we had last night. We gonna run that back the next day and then.

[Rory]

But yes, I do make turkey sandwiches, but I just do mayo, maybe a little bit of hot sauce if you feeling like it. But the turkey sandwich is good. And a little bit of the gravy that you have on the side.

[Damaris]

I'm Gonna have some more spinach and some more.

[Mall]

I was so jealous of my black friends growing up. They had Mac and cheese at their Thanksgiving. Yeah. Oh, yeah.

[Rory]

Because that's. That's not. Y' all get mashed potatoes, right? I've never made mashed potatoes for Thanksgiving. That is definitely some white shit. That's some white shit.

[Mall]

I love mashed potatoes. Don't get that shit twisted as much as I love Mac and cheese. If you take mashed potatoes away from.

[Rory]

Thanksgiving, because we always had either green beans. We always had green beans and potatoes, as well as potato salad. So mashed potatoes is just. That's a lot of potato. Like, we just didn't need that.

[Damaris]

A lot of carbs. I don't.

[Rory]

I. With the carbs. That's whatever, because I'm gonna have. And we're also having yams. Y' all don't.

[Damaris]

Cause you gonna work the carbs off at night, right, baby D. Y' all don't do yams.

[Mall]

We don't do yams. But we don't do yams.

[Rory]

You cool.

[Damaris]

I just said you going to work the carbs off at night. That's all I said.

[Rory]

Putting all the food back up in the refrigerator. Yes, I am.

[Damaris]

Okay.

[Mall]

Exactly.

[Rory]

That's exactly.

[Damaris]

Where you going. You going to Georgia. You spending Thanksgiving at this year? Oh, you going to Cherokee? You say you going home?

[Rory]

I had a cook.

[Damaris]

Yeah, he going with you?

[Rory]

Who is he?

[Mall]

I don't know.

[Damaris]

All right. Anyway, I was talking about the ke. Love my boy.

[Rory]

Yeah, exactly. You know, but no, I will be. This will be my first Thanksgiving, actually. Not spending it with a significant other, actually.

[Damaris]

So sorry for that.

[Rory]

Yes. My ex has been coming to my house for Thanksgiving for the past five years. I know that's what you were wondering. Yes, that's what's happening.

[Mall]

No, I didn't wonder it. I knew that. I'm saying I was wondering if he'd have the nerve to show up this year.

[Rory]

No. No.

[Damaris]

Good man. Let that man move on.

[Mall]

Yeah. I'm gonna tell your pops, don't let him in the crib.

[Rory]

You gonna tell my pops some shit not to do, not to let somebody in something. Listen, what about you?

[Mall]

I mean, I'm doing my rounds, doing my godfather's house. I'm doing my cousin's house. We're starting at my house because my mother, again, is super stubborn and has to cook. And I'm like, we really don't need to do all this.

[Damaris]

That's your way of just telling mom she doesn't have to Cook.

[Mall]

Oh, no, she wants to cook. I said, let's just do lunch, then.

[Rory]

Let's just do lunch.

[Mall]

Then we're going to my godfather's house, and then we're going to. To my cousin's house. Cause I want Amara, like, not to be, like, too deep into the weeds of, like, my childhood versus Amara's. Like, I was the only child. Like, our Thanksgivings weren't, like, super big at all. And my godfather's family, he married an Italian woman that had nine siblings. And there's gonna be 45 people there, including, like, 15 kids. Like, seven fishers, you know, neither here nor there.

[Damaris]

Yeah. Seven fishes. Yeah.

[Mall]

That's how I know the only relationship you have was with a type. How you know about. Like, how you know. How you know. How you know about seven fishes?

[Damaris]

What, man?

[Mall]

How you know about it?

[Damaris]

I'm just saying, I. I've seen it. I've seen. I've seen the stuff.

[Mall]

Did you.

[Rory]

Did you eat a couple of them?

[Damaris]

Yeah, absolutely I did.

[Mall]

So I wanted Mar to be around a bunch of kids. Like, I don't want her holidays to be small. Like, I want her to look forward to holidays. So, yeah, we gonna do our rounds. And, you know, my cousin, both my cousins have two kids. Three girls, one son. Like.

[Rory]

Yeah.

[Mall]

I just want her to run around and have some happy holidays instead of sitting in my fucking house. Yeah. In my dad's camper. And bring a plate down.

[Rory]

Mom.

[Damaris]

Yo. Bringing a plate down to the camper.

[Mall]

Yo.

[Damaris]

Yo, your pop don't fuck with y' all at all. He don't fuck with you Gotta bring his plate to the camper outside of the house, mind you.

[Rory]

He's sleeping in the bedroom. He left the bedroom to go to the camper.

[Damaris]

Yo, Jake is sick, man.

[Rory]

So, like, you think, like, him and your mom could ever, like, like, again, Baby.

[Damaris]

D, I'm eating.

[Rory]

I'm sorry.

[Damaris]

I know you ain't eating, but I'm.

[Rory]

You eating some.

[Damaris]

I'm listening to the rest of this Mac, baby. Damn.

[Mall]

I mean, I would hope so.

[Damaris]

Your parents humping him?

[Mall]

Yeah, what's wrong with that?

[Damaris]

No, nothing. I'm just. I don't ever love a humping.

[Mall]

I mean, sex. And I wouldn't say intimacy because they fucking hate each other, but, yeah, I think that's important.

[Rory]

Hate is very intimate, by the way. But that's another conversation. Hate is a very intimate emotion.

[Mall]

Hate might be the most intimate feeling of all time.

[Damaris]

Hello? Yeah, but y' all are sick.

[Rory]

No.

[Damaris]

To even think about that is crazy. No.

[Rory]

For Real hate. It requires a lot of your emotion to hate someone. Someone. Like that's a very close thing.

[Damaris]

Yeah, I. I agree with that.

[Rory]

Yeah.

[Mall]

Like, and I can be candid at least on this episode. Cuz I think we'll be. We'll be doing Thanksgiving at this time. I don't think my mom's going to watch this, but there was definitely times when I was in high school where I was like, I just wish my mom would smoke some weed and get some dick. Like, you got to calm down.

[Damaris]

Those are some of your thoughts in high school. Yeah, I wish you smoke weed and get. And get.

[Mall]

Like, you need to calm down.

[Damaris]

Yeah. I feel you parents can get a little. All right.

[Mall]

You could use.

[Damaris]

But it was really you.

[Mall]

You.

[Damaris]

We don't realize how much it was us as high schoolers.

[Mall]

Oh, no. I was definitely a handful to deal with for sure.

[Damaris]

And.

[Mall]

Yeah, absolutely. But some weed and some dick, maybe.

[Damaris]

That'S normal to take the edge off of things.

[Rory]

Yeah.

[Mall]

And I mean, my mom was never good at hiding, so I feel like I would have known if she was.

[Damaris]

Like, you know, seeing somebody.

[Mall]

Yeah.

[Rory]

Or buzzing herself to sleep. They didn't really do that back in the day.

[Mall]

Yeah. They didn't have toys, but buzzing. This was 04. I don't like. Did they just have those?

[Rory]

They had. They've had vibrators in 04. Yes.

[Damaris]

They existed in 04.

[Rory]

Yes.

[Mall]

I was young. I didn't know about vibrators.

[Damaris]

I mean, it's probably the big ones you start to plug into the wall.

[Mall]

Oh my God.

[Rory]

Hell yeah.

[Damaris]

But, you know, there was something there, though.

[Rory]

Them shits used to be so big.

[Mall]

What?

[Rory]

The. The vibrator. Oh, okay.

[Damaris]

My bad.

[Rory]

What you.

[Damaris]

I. I didn't know. I didn't know.

[Rory]

Why y' all both look at me like that.

[Damaris]

I didn't know where we was going with that.

[Mall]

No worrying now, you know, Mall, there's something that. That's been heavy on my mind that.

[Damaris]

I, you know, talk to me.

[Mall]

I haven't asked you.

[Damaris]

It's just tell me.

[Mall]

It's something that I've been wanting to ask you. I never asked you. Have you ever thought about upgrading to the all new iPhone 17 because it's designed to be the most powerful iPhone ever.

[Damaris]

Absolutely.

[Mall]

But there's one thing I know you hate and it's traffic. So you can't go get the iPhone 17 because you hate traffic. Well, I have good news for you. When you order a new phone. See, this is. That's, that's, that's. It right there.

[Damaris]

Exactly.

[Mall]

When you order a new phone online with Boost Mobile, they'll send an expert to your home to deliver your brand new iPhone 17 Pro and get you all set up on Boost Mobile within minutes. You don't even need to leave the house.

[Damaris]

Visit boost mobile.com to get started. Delivery available for select devices purchased@boost mobile.com terms apply.

[Mall]

This show is brought to you by our betting sponsor, Hard Rock Bet Mall. It is Thanksgiving week.

[Damaris]

Big football.

[Mall]

That's the only thing that matters at the end of the day is this. I'm. I'm ignoring any argument whatsoever and just focusing on the tv. I'm going against anything that the Dallas Cowboys do, no matter what.

[Damaris]

Yeah, you don't like them.

[Mall]

I never have. I never will. But there are some things to be thankful for this week. Outside of just family, food and football, we have Hard Rock bets. You can easily sneak in those bets in between arguments with all your family members. Sign up today. You could feast with $150 in bonus bets. Just place a $5 bet. If it hits, you get not only your winnings, but also $150 in extra bonus bets. So you could be betting every game throughout the whole day. When you're eating. Just, just keep.

[Damaris]

Just keep betting Payable and bonus bets Not a cash offer offered by the Seminole Tribe of Florida in Florida offered by Seminole hard Rock Digital LLC and all other states must be 21 plus and physically present in Arizona, Colorado, Florida, Illinois, Indiana, New Jersey, Ohio, Tennessee or Virginia to play Terms and conditions apply. Concerned about gambling in Florida? Call 1-833-PLAY-WISE in Indiana. If you or someone you know has a gambling problem and wants help, call 1-809-with-IT gambling problem call 1-800- GAMBLER Arizona, Colorado, Illinois, New Jersey, Ohio, Tennessee and.

[Mall]

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[Damaris]

Processors are made to go the distance with blazing fast performance, next level efficiency and multi day battery life. Snapdragon processors are built to tackle it all from highlight reel editing to intense player research so you can be at.

[Mall]

The top of your game wherever the day takes you. Learn [e-mail] laptops Snapdragon the heart of your PC.

[Damaris]

Battery life varies significantly based on device settings, usage and other factors.

[Mall]

Get your mother loving ears on because your big time radio DJs got news. PayPal lets you choose how you want to pay for all the stuff with PayPal. I can pay in store, pay online or pay overtime. What's that? You want this translated into song I hope you're sitting down. You can pay your own way. You keep those ears on, you hear. Don't just pay, baby. PayPal.

[Damaris]

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[Mall]

Los escuentasos en havidad Brillian los solo por Hoyeva Flores elecas Enoche buena de un cuarto y platos paraplantas electos por un dol arcada uno.

[Damaris]

Dalia tu casa.

[Mall]

Se to que festivo pormenos comprentiendas ya provecha grandes ahoros durante todo el dia perro d nosotros ayudamos 2 ahoras export Personas. This is Matt Rogers from Las Culturistas with Matt Rogers and Bowen Yang. From executive producer Ryan Murphy comes your next TV obsession. All's Fair Starring Kim Kardashian, Naomi Watts, Niecy Nash, Betts, Teyana Tay. With Sarah Paulson and Glenn Close. A team of female divorce attorneys leave a male dominated firm to open their own powerhouse practice. Fierce, brilliant and emotionally complicated, they navigate high stakes breakups, scandalous secrets and shifting allegiances both in the courtroom and within their own ranks in serious style. In a world where money talks and love is a battleground, these women don't just play the game, they change it. They'll never settle. Don't miss the show. Everyone will be talking about and watch. All's Fair now streaming on Hulu and Hulu on Disney plus for bundle subscribers. Terms apply.

[Rory]

Jesus Christ.

[Damaris]

So you cooking again, Baby D? Is anybody else cooking? Charge of the Mac? Just you.

[Rory]

Me. So I'm always in charge of the Mac. My mother is always in charge of the dressing because she makes the best dressing in the world that I've ever had okay. And she's tried to pass it down to me, but it's. She does it so good that it's like, I don't even want to learn this yet.

[Damaris]

I'm sorry.

[Mall]

I accidentally caught some of the jerk chicken again, just doubling down on it.

[Damaris]

It tastes like somebody had it in my mouth.

[Rory]

Yes, that's actually exactly how it tastes.

[Mall]

Yes. You described that perfectly. Yes. Oh, my God, that's so bad. I'm sorry. Go ahead.

[Damaris]

Yeah, but, yeah, regular. You sleep.

[Rory]

Yeah.

[Damaris]

But a jerk along.

[Rory]

Yeah. My mother's getting older, so the older she gets, the less things she's in charge of. Like, so now she's just really making the pound cake, the potato salad, and the dressing. Everything else is me. It's rough. It's a rough life to live.

[Damaris]

Okay, well, I mean, I'm sure everybody's looking forward to Baby D in the kitchen once again.

[Rory]

They are.

[Damaris]

Do they at least buy you, like, a dope apron? Like a personalized apron? I have. Did they get you set up in the kitchen the right way?

[Rory]

No.

[Damaris]

Oh, yeah.

[Rory]

I gotta go do grocery shop. My sister be like, here, here goes some money to wear groceries, and that's it.

[Damaris]

She won't even go get the groceries.

[Mall]

All right, though.

[Rory]

I got the money.

[Damaris]

But how does it feel, though, that. Now that is your role for Thanksgiving?

[Rory]

I know that it's an. It's an honor, cuz.

[Damaris]

It is.

[Rory]

It's. It's an honor. It's just sometimes honors.

[Mall]

Is feeding people.

[Damaris]

Talking about hate men. Intimate. Feeding people.

[Rory]

Feeding people is very. I love feeding. I love feeding the people that I love. I love cooking for the people that I love on a daily basis.

[Damaris]

You said red wine reduction. And what was it? What else? Was the peas from scratch? Red wine reduction? Was it the chocolate volcano cake? Did she make a chocolate lava cake? Is she making lava cake from scratch? Right.

[Rory]

I'm making. I'm actually making lo mein tonight, so that's why I'm not getting full on.

[Damaris]

This lo Me from scratch.

[Mall]

Yeah.

[Damaris]

You can't get full.

[Mall]

No, this with a bakery.

[Damaris]

No, the Mac.

[Mall]

Because I'm hungry.

[Damaris]

The Mac is good. The regular Mac.

[Rory]

It made me miss Hamburger Helper.

[Mall]

Yeah, that's what it reminds me of.

[Rory]

I was a Hamburger Helper kid when.

[Damaris]

I was growing up.

[Mall]

Would you guys believe that I make really, really good green beans with bacon? Like, with. That's what. That's what I'm cooking today as you're listening to this. Yeah. Second pick in the draft.

[Rory]

That's.

[Mall]

That's my go to Whose pick was that?

[Damaris]

Rory's right.

[Mall]

Them Southern green beans, man, I know how to make them really well. But you with the beef broth and the bacon, cook the beans in the same grease as the bacon, put the bacon back in. Like my green beans is fire.

[Damaris]

But you funny, though, because I know that you ripped the bacon with your hands.

[Rory]

The bacon now, he bit it raw.

[Damaris]

Yeah, he ripped the bacon bits with the taste of the hands like this. Like with bacon.

[Rory]

Yeah.

[Damaris]

And dropping it in the beans and then doing this.

[Mall]

Yeah. What's wrong with that?

[Damaris]

That's the real. That's the sauce right there. That's the real flavor. And the seasoning, when you do this to get it off your fingers. Rory, cooking is sick. I already know how you look in the kitchen, bro.

[Mall]

I'm not. I'm not pretty. I can cook, but I just. I can't cook like Damaris.

[Rory]

You can keep yourself alive.

[Mall]

Yeah. Like, I can make good food for people. I'm not to her degree, but I'm there. Yo, I'll tell you, one time, I was at Puff's house, I saw Salt Bae do his Salt Bae thing. And I had watched him pause for, like, 30 minutes before that. I ain't seen him wash his hands once.

[Damaris]

And you still ate that salt?

[Mall]

There wasn't enough. Everyone ran to the Salt bae burgers. I was like, damn, I would have ate one. Yeah. But Jersey got to it before me.

[Rory]

Keeping your eyes on another man hands for 30 minutes is gay.

[Mall]

He was cooking food.

[Rory]

Yeah.

[Mall]

You don't even got gloves on.

[Damaris]

Like, I was doing, like, watching, man.

[Rory]

True.

[Mall]

What you doing over there?

[Damaris]

Yeah, and it was so bad. So it's kind of like just watching his routine, seeing what he. His presentation. You know what I mean?

[Mall]

And it's wild to just call somebody, so that's crazy. Y. They kind of, like, not canceled his career, but when they figured out that gold steak was fake or whatever. Is. Is it over for Z? No, I have not seen him.

[Rory]

I think he hasn't quite seen them.

[Mall]

Yeah, he has one in. In Vegas, but they added that for all the gold steak being fake.

[Damaris]

Was it poppy steak? That's the new, like, hot spot. Oh, yeah. It's like, fam. I just want my food. This whole production that y' all have, like, I'm just.

[Mall]

I'm not above, like, trying things for the of them, but I've never, like, found any allure to that type of stuff. Like, let's go pay $15,000 for a steak that comes in a briefcase. Like, is the Steak good? Yeah, probably not.

[Rory]

Honestly?

[Mall]

Yeah.

[Damaris]

No.

[Mall]

Like, what are we doing this for?

[Damaris]

I mean, I've never had it, obviously, but I was never a fan of. Don't give me a production in the show before you bring my food to me. Like, Benny Hana's was it for me. Like, once he made, like, the heart fried rice and then put the spatula on. They made it seem like the heart was beating. I was like, yo, fam. I was like, fam, just give me my shit, dawg. I'm sitting here, I'm hungry as a motherfucker. You told me I had to wait for seven other people that I don't know to come and sit down before we can start eating. Like, fuck the heartbeat. Fried rice. Give me my soup.

[Mall]

What about when he did the Train?

[Damaris]

Yeah. Now, fuck that.

[Mall]

He didn't like the train.

[Damaris]

Fuck all of that shit, man.

[Mall]

Give me my.

[Rory]

Never mind.

[Damaris]

Y' all gonna judge me what you did? You let him throw the shrimp tails in your mouth. I know you. I know what baby D be doing when she goes. She ain't gonna tell us, bro.

[Rory]

I'll be there with this. I'll be there for the sake. And then, like, I'll keep going. And he'll be like, arasaki.

[Damaris]

And you know how to swallow with your mouth open.

[Mall]

I missed that vlog. This was when I was on vacation.

[Damaris]

Baby definitely know how to swallow the sake with her mouth open. The n. The nigga squirty can't believe she said it.

[Mall]

To choke ain't a joke.

[Damaris]

Baby D be a he like, yo, it's almost gone, Baby D. You got to stay out of them people. Places, man.

[Rory]

Hey, I may get entertainment.

[Mall]

When I was getting my teeth drilled down and they had to put, like, the mouthpiece in to get the. The temps that are right here, and they. They push that, like, back. And the dentist said, you don't have a gag reflex. And I said, yeah.

[Damaris]

You don't.

[Mall]

That's right. That's not a good.

[Rory]

No, that's not a good thing. You should have one. A gag. Not having a gag reflex is like when somebody can stick something down your throat and you don't gag.

[Mall]

Yeah.

[Damaris]

Oh, so you should have a gag reflex now. People that have good times.

[Mall]

Oh, no, I'm sorry. I was gag. Like, I was gagging. So it was saying, you have.

[Rory]

You have a good gag reflex. Yeah.

[Mall]

Rory ain't gag.

[Rory]

He stuck that whole down.

[Damaris]

Like I was really.

[Rory]

That's why you can't get your bills paid.

[Mall]

Maybe Nose is running and he called.

[Damaris]

You a good girl, Colin. Yo, your bitches calling you a good girl is crazy, cuz. You got to kind of just wait till he finishes. You got to let him just keep doing what he doing.

[Mall]

Don't kink shame.

[Damaris]

But you got to, like, after you get up, you gotta fight him, though. Like, yo, Doc, thank you for all that, but let's step outside real quick. Don't tell me I'm a good girl after you put fake teeth on.

[Rory]

One of my Uber drivers called me a good girl one time. I said I felt so uncomfortable, cuz. Like, he looked in the mirror and said it. He said, cuz he told me to put my seat belt on, I ain't feel like arguing with him. I just put it on. He was like, good girl. Whoa.

[Damaris]

Yo, you didn't report him?

[Mall]

I can't report him for saying good.

[Rory]

Girl, cuz you the freaked out one. They gonna say, you the freaked out one, cuz.

[Mall]

Why you thinking that?

[Damaris]

Nah, you could be like, yo, I'm calling me a good girl first. I'm a grown ass woman. Hel, though, good girl, cuz I put my seat belt on. That's a predator. That was just chauffeuring you around the city. That was a predator. Good girl. What?

[Mall]

You thought my.

[Rory]

With the.

[Mall]

The Houston TSA was bad? When me and Peach, I forgot what city that was. When that TSA agent told me to stay like I was a dog, I was like, you want me to roll over, too?

[Damaris]

Oh, my God.

[Rory]

Oh, I know you had a. I.

[Mall]

Know you said, like, stay. He said, stay. I was like, do you want to roll over, too? Like, the fuck is wrong with you?

[Damaris]

People are weird.

[Mall]

That's his king.

[Damaris]

But I feel like. I feel like I got to take Rory to, like, a real.

[Rory]

Take him where you took me.

[Mall]

All right, this is awful.

[Rory]

Well, don't take him where you took me.

[Mall]

I'm a bad bitch.

[Rory]

He not. Take him somewhere else.

[Damaris]

Okay, I got somewhere I could take Rory. Get some good vegan food.

[Mall]

Wait, so what's the level?

[Damaris]

And you love.

[Mall]

Since I'm not Caribbean food.

[Damaris]

So we go to Caribbean vegan spot.

[Mall]

But I could just go to a Caribbean spot.

[Damaris]

No, but I'll take you to Caribbean vegan spot.

[Rory]

Like, the place he took me to. I would go. Even though I have the choice to eat meat, I would still go to that place.

[Mall]

Place I would eat this hamburger helper any day. Yeah, but, like, if you order this.

[Damaris]

Spot the restaurant went to is. It's not even on the same level. It's A whole different.

[Rory]

Not even. Yeah, this is slop. He fed you slop.

[Damaris]

It was the only options we had, baby. Everything else.

[Rory]

Well, I appreciate you trying to feed us.

[Damaris]

And then the one spot that was the soul food spot, they closed in April. I didn't even know that. I learned that today. When I got here. I was like, they.

[Mall]

Yeah. When you were searching, it closed in April.

[Damaris]

I had no idea that they were closed.

[Mall]

So can you tell us your vegan journey? Like, did you cut out meat before you tried a bunch of vegan spots? Like, let me see if this is even doable.

[Damaris]

Yeah, that's how it happened. I stopped eating red meat probably 2005, and I was just on chicken, seafood, turkey, things like that. And then in 2018, I stopped eating chicken.

[Mall]

I remember that. Yeah. Remember you on your.

[Damaris]

Every time. Every time I bit into chicken, my mouth would start watering like spring water. Like, I feel like I had to throw up. I didn't know what it was.

[Rory]

They wasn't cleaning it.

[Damaris]

No. But it was no matter where it was. Home cooked restaurant, Any chicken I've been into, immediately I felt like I was biting into flesh. Like somebody's arm.

[Rory]

Yeah.

[Damaris]

So I was. And I just started. I was like, what? I'm talking about any.

[Rory]

I know what he's saying, because there's times when I've eaten chicken, too much eggs, I'm the same way with. And when the next time I eat it, I'm like, it tastes like animal. It tastes. And it's just like, I can't think.

[Damaris]

Like, I was. It was crazy. So then I gave up chicken. I was like, I'm done with chicken. I went pescatarian for, like two years. Got tired of that. I was like, bro, if I eat one more fucking salmon.

[Mall]

Yeah, you had no. You had every green room smoking like, salmon. I just was like, it was rough. It was rough for us.

[Damaris]

I gave that up. And then I met a vegan chef, and, you know, he started meal prepping me and started, like, introducing me.

[Mall]

He was West Indian too, right? Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Damaris]

So when I had that, I was like, this is vegan. I was like, I can definitely eat this. And so then that started me going down the journey of just, like, finding different things spots, finding different, you know, ways of making vegan products or vegan food and things like that. And that was what, 20, 20. So June this year made five years.

[Mall]

God damn. Yeah, okay. I mean, I can cut out red meat and pork easy. Chicken and dairy. I don't know if I could ever do that.

[Damaris]

Well, I've been gave up dairy. That should.

[Rory]

Dairy is actually not that hard for me to give up. It's easier than not hard.

[Mall]

Even with the shitty jerk chicken and white sauce, the fake cheese is not bad. Like, this tastes like regular cheese to me. It's not good cheese, but it's regular cheese.

[Damaris]

Cheese is harder to give up than heroin.

[Rory]

Oh, no, for sure.

[Mall]

Sugar is harder to give up than anything. Yeah, period.

[Damaris]

Like cheese. They've done studies on that. Like dairy. Like I said, last week, I had a regular plain slice of pizza. I still do that every now and then, but I probably won't eat another slice of cheese pizza for the next five months. So, like, once every six months, I might have a slice.

[Rory]

Yeah, I'm mad I missed that. Like, when they were like. Yeah, they was like, mom, I had to. Pizza. I'm like, I hate when, like, Maul, like, cheats on his diet and I miss it.

[Damaris]

Yeah, that was like. I saw it. I was like, let me try. Because I've seen that pizza. Like, I don't know. You ordered that pizza. I've seen it in the office a couple times.

[Rory]

Yeah. Benner.

[Damaris]

So I'm like, let me see if this pizza is.

[Mall]

I believe it was East Village pizza.

[Rory]

Yeah.

[Mall]

Which is great.

[Damaris]

It wasn't bad.

[Mall]

I think East Village pizza, I like.

[Damaris]

Was it Linda Street? Linda Street.

[Mall]

I know, sure.

[Rory]

Yeah.

[Damaris]

That pizza is incredible. Yeah, that's. That's probably some of the best pizza in the city right now is Linda Street. But, yeah, so I'll do that every. Every now and then I'll eat a slice of. Slice of regular pizza.

[Mall]

Best pizza in the Bronx.

[Damaris]

In the Bronx. On the Concourse. For them. In the Concourse, they used to have a good slice. And then on my block, it was Mr. Rico's on Jerome and 1 90th. They had a good pizza there for a lot of years. But some of the best pizzas is on Dyckman. It's in Dyckman. On. I want to say that's on. Is that. Is that Dyckman and Nagel? It's the Pizzeria on Dyckman. It's the famous Pizzeria indictment. They have one of the best slices in the city. It used to be Coronet Pizza down on. I think it's on Broadway, Upper west side. They used to have a good slice up there.

[Mall]

And I know we're getting local. What is the pizza spot in the Bronx by Yankee Stadium that has this. The sesame seeds on the crust. That's my favorite spot in the Bronx. It's like Yankee Stadium. It's like.

[Damaris]

It's on Jerome.

[Mall]

Nah, it's on the concourse. Probably like 163rd or something like that.

[Damaris]

Too local at this point, but 163rd in the concourse. That sounds familiar, though.

[Mall]

It has. It, like, has sesame seeds on the crust.

[Damaris]

Is it new? Is it new?

[Mall]

I should have been there for years. My whole life. Yeah.

[Damaris]

So I probably had that before, but I never really went outside of, like. Cause you get pizza, you close to home. Like, I've never been away from home. I want a pizza.

[Rory]

Yeah.

[Damaris]

I would wait till I get back to the hood. So I never really ate pizzas in too many different neighborhoods. But definitely Dykman. That pizza spot up there is one of the best pizzas you can get in the city.

[Rory]

What happened this year in music that you're very thankful for?

[Damaris]

What happened this year in music that.

[Mall]

I'm thankful for, besides the Super Bowl?

[Damaris]

Was that this year?

[Rory]

Yes.

[Damaris]

Damn, that feel like. That shit feel like it was two years ago. What happened in music this year that I'm thankful for?

[Mall]

I'm just gonna repeat my mass appeal.

[Damaris]

Take the Legend series. The Mass appeal. What they did with the Legend series was probably one of my favorite things to happen in a long time, only because the attention to detail that they gave it. I think we got incredible albums from all of the artists. I think Slick Rick is still coming.

[Mall]

Nah, Slick Rick was the first one that came out.

[Damaris]

Oh, his came out already. Somebody else's.

[Mall]

Nas and DJ Romero.

[Damaris]

That's the album that's coming. Nas and DJ Premiere, that album. That was. That was dope. The Legend series, I think, is dope. Outside of that in music, I don't. I mean, y'.

[Rory]

All.

[Damaris]

They. They'll kill me for it, but I do. I did. I did like what Drake did with Iceman, only because it was different. We never had a live stream like that from an artist that big that was trying something different right for me.

[Mall]

And then abandon it.

[Damaris]

So to have that. I think that moment was dope, because it was just like, you know, we never had that from the artist to just take of that caliber, take that type of chance visually and live stream. And then the audio was so clear. The video was so clear. It was like. It was just something that was different. I think that we all. So no matter, you know, the battle shit is the battle. But no matter. That aside, I think that we all sat down collectively and tuned in to those episodes just to watch it and just see. We didn't know exactly what we were looking at. We didn't know what to expect, but I think at that moment and just an artist of Drake's caliber trying something different I thought was dope this year.

[Rory]

Okay, Rory.

[Mall]

It's funny to say I'm thankful for the clips, but even though it led to.

[Rory]

Hey, I don't have to say.

[Damaris]

What did it lead to the clips.

[Mall]

Just nothing to me being clipped, yo.

[Damaris]

Yes, yes, I forgot about that already.

[Mall]

I was so happy about. About the clips album for sure. I mean, that. That was my favorite part of the year to get an album from one of my favorite groups ever. And it be at that caliber. So very happy for that. You know, I almost called you this weekend to pull up on you. I went to a funeral in Co Op City and I was. I was close by you, but I was like, let me not just pull up on mall.

[Damaris]

Oh, you was a car.

[Rory]

You haven't got my address. You wouldn't have been able to pull up.

[Mall]

I know, but I could just go to the area that he lives in and just drive around, You know, where people most all that.

[Rory]

Wow.

[Mall]

Word, yo, I have not been in Co Op City in so long. And you.

[Damaris]

I haven't been in Co op. I used to be in co op all the time. And every time I drive past, they going home. I just look at the buildings like some good times.

[Mall]

Yeah, one of my. Yeah, one of my childhood friend's mothers passed, so I went to the funeral on Friday. Yeah, on Friday? Yeah, the day we went to the concert. And I was sitting there like, you know, Co Op City legendary. Nothing's changed in there, by the way. Exactly. There's just more police cameras, but it's the same thing.

[Damaris]

Legendary. Cop City is legendary. I had some great times in Co Op City, man.

[Mall]

But yeah, I almost called you to. To pull up to your crib, but, you know, in my black suit, but. But I saved you, yo.

[Damaris]

Nah, see, you can't come to my house with no black suit. I'm like, what's up?

[Mall]

Why not?

[Damaris]

I'm checking you for a while. You come to my house.

[Rory]

I'm a funeral.

[Damaris]

Go change. Don't come to my crib in my car. Yeah, yeah. Oh, no, you can change.

[Mall]

I had my Crocs that I changed my. I changed my shoes okay to drive. Yeah, but you can't do that. You can't just show up to somebody's house in a black suit.

[Damaris]

That's just weird.

[Mall]

I tried to show up.

[Damaris]

First of all, I didn't even show.

[Mall]

Your house with my Newborn. But you had to get your wheelbarrow fixed.

[Damaris]

I wasn't home. What do you want me to do? I was not home, bro. I was not home.

[Mall]

I almost called you to see what excuse it would have been this time. That was more for content. I was in my head. I was like, I wonder what excuse if I just pull up tomorrow.

[Damaris]

Was it Saturday?

[Mall]

It was Friday.

[Damaris]

I was on late Friday night. I got back late.

[Mall]

Well, this was the started at 11.

[Damaris]

I went out. I went out to eat Friday night.

[Mall]

Yeah, this would have been before. Oh, in the daytime early.

[Damaris]

Oh, yeah. I was home early.

[Mall]

I don't know many funerals that are.

[Damaris]

Started 9pm no, some funerals you like the viewing be like 6. Service started like 7 is the wake was Thursday.

[Mall]

But I couldn't see a recording space.

[Damaris]

And days are okay.

[Mall]

Yeah.

[Rory]

So Tyler the creator won Apple Music's artist of the year. Do y' all think that's valid?

[Mall]

Sure.

[Damaris]

Yeah. You know what? I'm taking the page out of Rory's book. I'm doing that from now on. Sure, why not? Why not? Who am I? I'm not an artist. I'm not a recording artist. Like, who am I? Sure, yes. If they. They feel like Tyler is the artist of the year. If they feel like Tyler the creator is the artist of the year, who am I to say he's not that.

[Mall]

2025. Who would your artist of the.

[Rory]

Year be for 2025?

[Damaris]

The way summer living out her raps.

[Mall]

Do y' all want to go to this Leon show? Leon just text me for full names.

[Rory]

I'm not going.

[Damaris]

Yeah, no, I'm not going.

[Mall]

You guys are going to make me go to Leon Leon show by myself?

[Damaris]

Yeah.

[Rory]

You just said you weren't going when I asked you.

[Mall]

No, but you definitely did say that.

[Damaris]

Like, yo, bro, I'm. I'm daughter. You have the easiest.

[Mall]

Monday's my only night.

[Damaris]

You don't know that. He don't. He don't. I'm just saying.

[Rory]

Now, wait.

[Damaris]

I know you want to go.

[Rory]

Tell Leon put me on the list for the after party.

[Damaris]

Don't tell him that. I know you want to go. There is an after party.

[Rory]

I saw it advertised on the side of a bus. There is an after party.

[Damaris]

Who is after. Who is advertising an after party on a bus for a Leon Thomas concert?

[Rory]

I'm just saying, that's what I.

[Damaris]

That can't be real. Who was spending that money? He had a budget to promote his after party.

[Mall]

Well, no, I'm sure he got hired.

[Rory]

It was the bus stop.

[Mall]

I'm sure he got hired for a after party and someone else was paying. I'm sure he got a fee.

[Damaris]

Who. Who is. Who's after party?

[Mall]

That's always been a thing, though, on the bus.

[Damaris]

Like on a.

[Mall]

Like after a concert.

[Rory]

Where was the bus stop? Let me.

[Damaris]

It's not even a concert, though. Where's he performing at?

[Mall]

No, he's not performing in Brooklyn.

[Rory]

Brooklyn Paramount.

[Mall]

We talked about this on. On an episode before.

[Damaris]

Yeah, but having the. Having the advertisement on the bus stop for a show at Brooklyn Paramount.

[Rory]

It's not for the show. It's for the after party.

[Damaris]

Yeah, but that ain't. I don't know. Times change. Listen. Sure, go. Sure.

[Rory]

Listen, I'm with y'. All.

[Damaris]

Why not? Why not? Who am I? Who am I, Paige? I'm just existing. Who am I? Listen, tell Leon thank you, though, but I'm not gonna. I'm not gonna.

[Mall]

Yeah, I'm putting Damaris's name. Should I put his name with your last name?

[Rory]

Don't put my name. I'm not going.

[Mall]

Just in case you change your mind.

[Rory]

I'm not going to change my mind.

[Mall]

Mm.

[Damaris]

She sound like she's standing on business.

[Rory]

You know how the show starts at 7 or 8? It's 5:31. We're still at work. He's gonna get on stage at 9 o'. Clock. Yeah, but I'm not rushing home.

[Damaris]

There ain't a rush. And you in Brooklyn. It's right there.

[Mall]

I'm gonna drive you. I'm gonna drive you home. You get changed.

[Rory]

Yo, I'm.

[Damaris]

Huh?

[Rory]

I'm not going.

[Mall]

She said, take your time.

[Damaris]

What's too rush?

[Rory]

I said, baby, I'm a dog.

[Mall]

I'm a muck.

[Rory]

That's gonna be like. It's just gonna be packed in there.

[Damaris]

That's gonna be packed in there.

[Mall]

Oh, you know somebody that's gone. Yeah, yeah. We just had Prudential center with Patty.

[Damaris]

Lee. Listen, let me tell y' all something about Baby D. When I see she started, I'll be like, I'm not even listening to her. Because she is all cap. It's all. Whatever she on right now, she's not telling us.

[Mall]

And I saw by him. No, that's crazy.

[Damaris]

So based off the energy on the. No, we already know what's happening. She ain't around with that no more.

[Rory]

That's a.

[Damaris]

You know what I mean? That's passe, nigga.

[Mall]

Yeah. No, that's the reason she.

[Damaris]

Oh, Baby D, what you want? You want some more Mac?

[Mall]

Baby D, what you want, yo? Nah.

[Damaris]

Oh, man.

[Rory]

So what's up? Like, y' all know.

[Mall]

Y' all know.

[Rory]

Y' all know end of the year, every year.

[Mall]

Like, y', all, yo, stop trying to do these professional transitions.

[Rory]

End of the year, I hear y' all fire somebody. Like, who next?

[Damaris]

What?

[Mall]

I got fired.

[Damaris]

You did get fired this year. You got fired? No. You didn't really get fired?

[Rory]

No. Marison.

[Mall]

Fired.

[Rory]

Man.

[Damaris]

I was just a little. You know, it was fun to watch it go through that, though, cuz you.

[Rory]

You're a terrible person.

[Damaris]

He was panicking, and I'm like, what?

[Mall]

He just chill. As Tori would say, sometimes you go through hiccups.

[Damaris]

That's a fact. That's a fact. That was just a little hiccup.

[Mall]

Little hiccup.

[Damaris]

He wasn't the main character. After day two, that was. It was somebody else. So good. Well, this has been great. I didn't get the food that I wanted Rory to try Dimash, because they weren't open until later. But we still. I still make sure Rory gets another shot at this vegan thing. But it was fun to sit down and just break bread with y' all and talk some shit for a little while. Thank you for everybody subscribing to Patreon.

[Rory]

We really.

[Damaris]

We appreciate y'. All.

[Mall]

We're about to get into Patreon, and I have a question for you. Tamaris and I were in a group chat with a friend yesterday, and they was trying to call me a hater. You are a group chat.

[Damaris]

What? You was hater.

[Rory]

He's a hater, but we gonna talk about it on Patreon. But he's a hater.

[Mall]

I gotta ask you. On Patreon.

[Rory]

So part two of our dinner will be available for Patreon. So go and subscribe. But for the rest of y', all.

[Mall]

I just don't think she's happy.

[Rory]

Happy Thanksgiving. Don't be a hater. Don't hate on your.

[Mall]

I just don't think she happy. That's all.

[Rory]

Don't hate on you.

[Mall]

Listen, I'm feeling you.

[Damaris]

If you don't think she happy, it's like, yo, as a man, right, baby, As a man, I need to make sure she happy.

[Rory]

That woman's happy.

[Damaris]

How you know that?

[Rory]

How you know she not?

[Damaris]

Cuz it's like. It's. It's called intuition.

[Mall]

Yeah.

[Damaris]

You know what I'm saying? She ain't smiling the same. Smiling is the same.

[Rory]

So why your intuition ain't tell you that she was faking them orgasms?

[Damaris]

And we'll talk to y' all soon. Be safe, be blessed. I'm that nigga he's just ginger. She did not come.

[Rory]

No worrying now.

[Mall]

Mall Random little charges hit you all the time. Coffee, delivery fees, even a plant that you don't like.

[Damaris]

Exactly. Life doesn't come with a budget app, but the Klarna card feels like it should.

[Mall]

It's your debit card upgraded. Use your money. Choose how to pay upfront now or plan ahead to pay later.

[Damaris]

Still responsible, just smarter. It works Anywhere Visa is accepted, zero credit impact to apply, sign up for.

[Mall]

The Klarna card by downloading the Klarna app or learn [e-mail] US Klarna card.

[Damaris]

Klarna Card Pay later Plans issued by Web Bank Deposits in your balance account are held at WebBank. Member FDIC anywhere visa is accepted, certain merchant product, goods and service restrictions apply. Some merchants do not accept virtual cards. Physical card only included with a paid klarna membership plan PCs powered by Snapdragon X Elite processors are made to go the distance with blazing fast performance, next.

[Mall]

Level efficiency and multi day battery life.

[Damaris]

Snapdragon processors are built to tackle it all, from highlight reel editing to intense player research so you can be at.

[Mall]

The top of your game wherever the day takes you. Learn [e-mail] laptops Snapdragon the heart of your PC.

[Damaris]

Battery life varies significantly based on device settings, usage and other factors.

[Mall]

So usually on ok Storytime, our audience will send in their relationship problems and the okay Storytime squad gives some good advice goofily. But today we're not giving out our usual advice. Our producer Riley says we're giving something else. So what are we doing today Riley? Today we're playing a little game. Oh, I love games, says the man. I bought special gifts for you guys from ebay.

[Damaris]

Each one picked with one of you in mind. Yeah, Dakota, if you want to guess.

[Mall]

All right, there is a gift at my feet. Open that thing. And now it is in my hands. I feel like it's got to be our resident gamer kiosk. This is the rectangle of childhood. It's a portable game console. I used to have this as a kid. This game console I used to play all the time. And you know when your mom came into the room when you were a kid and like you're pretending to sleep. But Riley, what a thoughtful gift. Yeah R. Thank you so much Riley.

[Damaris]

You're crushing it.

[Mall]

But we have one more gift. Open it. Boom.

[Damaris]

Oh, camera.

[Mall]

Yeah, an old timey camera. That's right Classic.

[Damaris]

This is awesome.

[Mall]

Yeah, because you know how I love to take pictures of my travels. Yeah, you're always somewhere, whether it's in Kyrgyzstan with some nomads or just New York, you know, with a nice little piece of trash or a rat taking pictures with the birds. So, Riley, you got all this from eBay, dude, eBay. It was really fun finding it with you guys.

[Damaris]

Like, I had some very specific things.

[Mall]

For each one of you. Yeah, it was all there. Thanks, Riley. And thank you.

[Damaris]

EBay.

[Mall]

And guys, shop ebay for millions of fines, each with a story. EBay, things people love. Hey, Ryan Reynolds here, wishing you a very happy half off holiday. Because right now Mint Mobile is offering you the gift of 50% off unlimited. To be clear, that's half the price, not half the service. Mint is still premium unlimited wireless for a great price.

[Rory]

So that means half day. Yeah.

[Mall]

Give it a [e-mail] Switch upfront payment of 45 for 3 month plan equivalent.

[Rory]

To 15 per month. Required new customer offer for first 3 months only. Speed slow.

[Mall]

135 gigabytes of network busy.

[Rory]

Taxes and fees extra.

[Mall]

See mint mobile.com Making the holidays magical for everyone on your list.

[Rory]

It's no small feat, but with TJ.

[Mall]

Maxx, your magic multiplies with quality finds. Arriving daily through Christmas Eve, you'll save.

[Rory]

On luxe cashmere, the latest tech toys and more.

[Mall]

So you can check off every name on your list and treat yourself to.

[Rory]

A holiday look that'll turn heads.

[Mall]

Now you know where to go to make all that holiday magic.

[Rory]

It's TJ Maxx, of course. It's shaping up to be a very magical holiday. This is an Iheart podcast. Guaranteed human.