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This is an iHeart podcast. Guaranteed Human.
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Hey everyone, it's Kel Penn. I'm inviting you to join the best sounding book club you've ever heard with my podcast, Hearsay, The Audible and iHeart Audiobook Club. Every episode I nerd out with amazing guests and dive into the best new audiobooks available on Audible. It's the book club for your ears. Listen to Earsay, the Audible and iHeart audiobook club on the iHeartradio app or wherever you get your podcasts.
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Hi, it's Colin Coward from the Colin Coward podcast. All right. You know what deserves more attention? The assists. Everybody talks about the goal. A big moment that gets replayed on the highlight reels. But too often we overlook all the contributions and collabs that happen along the way. That's true in soccer and honestly, true in life. Halion is shining a light on the assists. An official partner of U.S. soccer. They got a whole lineup of brands ready to deliver for you. So here they are. Sensodyne dentist recommended. Defense of your sensitive teeth Centrum. Fueling your day with science backed nutrients. Advil, of course. Powerful inflammation fighting pain relief. Voltaren Arthritis gel helps penetrate deep, keeps the joints moving and Tums ready to counterattack with fast heartburn relief. These are brands that are ready to deliver your essential wellness assists. Because every goal Starts with an assist. Learn how Halion can assist your game day goals@helionassist.com Colin no worry enough.
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No conductor.
D
All right, we are back for another episode of the new Rory and Mall show. I am Maul.
A
I'm Rory and, well, I know who you are.
D
But today we are joined for the listeners. Yeah, for the listeners, for the viewership. But today, Rory, we are joined by somebody who has been crowned the most prolific story. You know, you're a storyteller, probably not
E
at the level you like, gentlemen.
D
Well, not this. Yes, this gentleman is a prolific storyteller. He's. He's the best of the best when it comes to the stand up comedy. He's currently on an international tour as well. One of the funniest guys. Been watching him since probably before your time. I was watching et, I think Comic View. I think it was the first time I might have saw this gentleman years ago. So it's a pleasure to have him here in the studio today with us. Texas legend Ali Siddiq is in the building. Ali, how you feeling, brother?
A
Good. Houston.
D
Oh, see, they do that in Texas. You gotta make sure it's specific.
A
Yeah. Two different places.
D
Houston legend. It's two different places.
A
Yeah. Dallas and San Antonio. Austin, that's.
E
They're different cities, believe that.
A
Totally.
D
Different climate, different climates, different weather, different smell. The city smell.
A
Different, different everything.
D
Yeah. How you feeling though, man? It's a pleasure to meet you, man.
A
I'm doing great, man. Pleasure's all mine, brother.
D
So we knew you were coming in about maybe three weeks ago, and I was telling Rory, I was like, yo, listen, I've been watching Ali Siddiq for years. And I was like, you know, this one of the guys in comedy that I think we don't talk about enough.
A
We gonna give it a. We gonna give you two decades. Cause when you said Comic View, you kind of said like it was years ago. I was in comic view 2000-2001-2002-2003. So that if you started watching me in Comic View. Yeah. Goodness, grace. That's the, that's almost the beginning of the career. Right?
D
That's what I'm saying.
A
I started 97. I started 97, 2000. I'm on comic View. So you've been watching for a long time. I appreciate that.
D
I've been tuned in, man. I've been tuned in. One of the, one of the best stand. I tell people all the time, you one of my favorites. Tony Roberts, guys that I don't think we talk about enough. In comedy, like every time I see your set, I catch you somewhere. I'm just like, ali is still out here kicking ass. So it is a pleasure to have you here with us today.
A
Thank you.
D
Congrats on the naacp. Appreciate it. That's major. I mean, to have an annual son as well, to have that award is something that's major. But how did that. When you wrote that piece, that stand up book, did you know that that's where it was going? Like, you know that that was an award that you was gonna receive?
A
Didn't write it. I didn't write that. That's a relationship between me and my two sons. It was nothing to write besides the title.
E
Yeah.
D
Wow.
A
Yeah. Cause that's, you know, that's, you know, when you doing your life, you don't have to write your life down. You can remember your life. And I was just, I was just giving a firm account of just the relationship between me and my two sons that I probably had said them stories to my friends a thousand times. Just saying when it's happening, you know, so me to go on stage and put it together, you know, no. Right. No pen. No pen needed. But it's been a couple of specials that's like that, that people don't know. Like domino effect 2. No pen. No pen. Wow.
E
Okay.
A
Just wrote it. Did it that day.
E
What's up?
A
They never even seen it. I didn't even run it.
D
That has to be crazy. Like that's for a comedian to not write any material and just hit the stage. Like, what did. What's that feeling like? Because you don't have no material, you're going out on stage, you don't know if it's going to work. Even if you have it written, you don't know if it's going to work. So for you to have not have anything, any material written like how. That's a different level of confidence that that takes.
A
But when you telling stories, you're just telling the story you don't have. I didn't have an expectation. I just needed to get it off of me. You know, I needed to clinically get it off of me by saying it aloud.
D
Okay.
A
You know, so that's the first time my family ever heard me, you know, give my take on it. But I'm telling the story in chronological order from the domino effect one to two, how I'm moving and how life is moving for me at that particular time. So I know what was happening with me between 16 and 18. I know the down moment of 18 when things change for me, you know what I'm saying? So with my father, I mean, with my two sons, it's me. Some of it is the frustrated father in me, and some of it is the relishing in how different these two boys are from how I came up and seeing the difference, you know, and kind of giving an account to parents that you're not the same with your kids, you know, because you. In different spaces, you know, I'm in one space. Trey's around when I'm starting comedy and coming up, and Hasan is around when I'm straight. He's receiving different benefits and.
D
Right.
A
My mentality is different, you know, and I'm different as. You know, it's different between me being 25 in 2025 and me being 40.
D
Right.
A
You know what I'm saying? I'm 52 now. You know, my younger kids get a different benefit of me being 52. It's not that serious as it was when I was 45. No, you got to do this. But now at 50, like, hey, man, you want to eat cake in the morning? Eat it, man. Yeah, you know, it got all the ingredients. Got breakfast in there, eggs in there.
E
Right. I mean, outside of, I guess the difference between you and. And your age in parenting, has the environments been different? Have you felt between your two kids, One being raised in one area, one
A
in the other, That's a part of the growth. We living in totally different environments, you know, like, it's so there. Trey. Trey. In the environment with Trey, man, I probably always had a gun. Like, always, like, getting in out of my car with the neighborhood. You saying I always had a gun. Hasan is like, man, what? Like, for what? Like, probably get scared of you. See, what is Steve gonna do?
D
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
A
If you come in my neighborhood now, several people have called the police on you. Right? Right. Several. You have. There's been so many calls on you, and they have planned on blocking off the neighborhood. And then you. You are not getting out of this neighborhood. No matter what street you go down, there's gonna be.
D
Yeah, it's different.
A
Yeah. They threw the chain out on the ground. You are not getting out of bro. Like, why? I'm one of them. I'm one of them people now in my neighborhood, if something happened, I'm outside my own soda. I can't believe. Exactly.
E
We should have a spike strip.
A
What is going on with you, Ryan?
D
Life is different.
A
Yeah, life is totally different. Hey, man, is bro. When. If I think about how Trey and Jaden, my oldest Daughter Jay learned how to drive in a long expedition at night, you know what I'm saying? In a. In a. They. You know how they start. They start in the neighborhood. So they got all the streets down in the street signs. They don't have any houses built yet. They have so many plots. So I told her how to drive in this. They were basically just the streets right now. And then I got out on the regular road, and then she. Nine in an expedition.
D
Yeah.
A
Hassan started driving in a Bottega. It's two different things. Like, yo, you scoot over here.
D
Yeah, yeah.
A
And just the. And then I'm thinking about the mindset of this. If years ago I would have cared. And then I remembered how long I've been rich. Like, and not just in bread, in spirit, right? You know, the richness of my being able to walk through my neighborhoods without nothing, be able to go through any city without nothing. You know what I'm saying? Like, I tell people all the time, I don't check in. I get checked on. Right? You know what I'm saying? Somebody gonna call and like, yo, you in the city, bro. What we doing? You know what I'm saying? But I would have cared when I was younger if he would have wrecked his car if I didn't. The insurance was different.
D
It was different. Things were different.
A
I would have had to take this car to somebody, you know what I'm saying? Put this muffler back on. I drove that muffler there in the back. Now it's like, oh, man, come pick it up. Take it to the dealership. You know, it's gonna. It's gonna be fine.
D
Yeah.
A
You know, because it's. No. And when. Let me clear this up about how long I've been rich. I've been rich since 88. Now, that was illegal, even how it was acquired. But now this type of wealth is different. Now it's different. You know, I don't. I don't have to bury none of this, right? Like this. I don't have a stash. None of this. Anyway, Yo, I had to put it on my cousin's crib. So it's a dude. This money now is. Is definitely deposited. The rest of the money was in. In pillowcases, wherever it was at. Yeah. You know how. And this is. I. I tell. When dudes was in the streets back then, because the dudes would tell me stories about having money and putting in their bags. And then. Oh, I'm just. I'm just. I'm just running, yo, this is where the lie come in at. Because it's easy to believe if you don't know how heavy money is.
D
Right.
A
It was that if you put. If you put. Put $30,000 in fives, tens and twenties in a. In a pillowcase and just tell me. Just. You just finish it. Run down the street and say like, go ahead, do it. Put $100,000 in two pillowcases inside around your neck. And you tell me that you just straight. You. You. You ain't got no wobble in your run.
D
You just.
A
Just easily jogging, not out of breath or nothing. Okay. All right. Yeah, yeah, I know the difference. Yeah.
D
Somebody lying.
A
You. I. I did because. And. And because how that money, dirty money used to come. It's ones, fives, tens. Yeah. It's not no crisp hundreds and fifty. Yeah, that. Yo yo, right. Oh, so all. Yo, you had high class.
D
Yeah.
A
Crackheads that was coming you with new money. It's like, no, this. This money was balled up when you sell it. When we were selling though, back then, I seen her, I literally took money from somebody who pulled money out his draws. You know how much more you say, yo, man, keep it, bro, keep it, keep it. And then my man was like, yo, that's how he be getting away with that. You gotta.
D
Yeah, yeah, yeah. He know. He know you ain't gonna want it. You know you ain't gonna want it.
A
Yeah. He unborn. So now. Now you look at it and you look at your kids now, and if something happens. But it's not just my kids. I think people don't realize how they have elevated, you know, because we have a lot of ungrateful children that complain about you on the Internet. But the point is, it's on thousand dollars phones that you bought them.
D
Right.
A
I can't think of nothing between combined between me and my older sister that my mama spend $1,000 on us combined.
D
Combined.
A
Like over the years, every time I
E
take a photo of my daughter on a plane, it's not for the memories. It's so she could never say she got it out of the mud. I don't want to hear anyone get
A
it out the mud like it is in power.
E
You're in first class right now.
A
Like, yo, I was. My mom was flying us places when you could still smoke. Yeah.
E
Jesus Christ.
A
Like. Like, literally. And they serve real food. Yeah. Like, I remember having a leg quarter and peas and carrots, mashed potatoes and coach, they used to come down. I was at one time all these me insane. But you next to some dude named Bernard Marlboro. But you, you a whole kid.
E
Yeah.
A
Like. And they had ashtrays in the armrest.
D
Yeah. I was just selling them that a few months ago. I said, I remember being on a plane and people smoking. I remember that. Yeah.
A
I'm talking about smoking. I was about cool filter kings.
D
Yeah.
A
Camels with no, no filter. Like, he ain't got no filter on the joint. Now Jordan is the plan. And the pilot coming down smoking, you know that he's sleeping with all the. The flight attendants, you know, saying, cuz ain't no way you and Sarah supposed to be coming out this restroom together.
E
The idea of someone lighting a lighter in a plane is the craziest in
A
the world to me. I'm. What? Yeah. Hey, what's crazy is I'm. I'm. I'm more amazed by them having lighters because I didn't grow up like that when. And I grew up people smoking in the. The late 70s, it's like people who smoke cigarettes never had lighters or matches. You had to light the cigarettes on the stove. Yeah. You know what I'm saying? And they would send you as a child, go light it to light a cigarette. And when you light a cigarette on the stove, you gotta roll it and then you gotta pull a little bit.
D
Yeah.
A
You done lit three cigarettes. You really in the kitchen smoking, like at six, you, like, you gotta pack a day. I was like, you know how to use it? I don't even know what this meant, but I didn't know you're supposed to do it like, like they didn't, like they wouldn't. Already rolled in the box. This is how you pack it in. They already rolled.
D
Yeah.
A
Yeah.
D
That's flavor.
A
Yeah. And this is when you, you, you would be adult. Adult events. But you had a job, you was there. As you know, I understand why Martin Luther King say if you. If we lose the service industry, we lose everything. That's one of his speeches.
D
Yeah.
A
Now, I've been with my family in a servitude manner for years. You know, my mom and them playing cards. Yo, I'm there. You know what I'm saying? My job is to light cigarettes, bring ice, pour crown roll. Yeah. You know what I'm saying? Bring a Coke. Now I've been mixing drinks for a long time in the kitchen.
D
Yeah.
A
You know what I'm saying? Tasting it. Get that mix right is even. Yeah. You know, this is back when we, when they was drinking, what was the champagne that they used to drink? It was a chardonnay. It was A chardonnay. It was a strawberry chardonnay.
E
Boone Swarm.
A
It had a. No, not Boone Swarm. This is Boone Swarm. Came in my time. You know, this was like a champiple. Yeah. I think Fred Sanford used to talk about it all the time. But you actually knew that, like, they had ripple. You would hear these drinks. You'd be like, yo, I know what that is.
D
I know what that is. I drink that before. Yeah.
A
Boone's Farm was. That was my era. I remember the first time I ever drank Boone's Farm. It was in the summer in Houston. And this is when you learned that liquor and heat don't mix. You rather people be drinking. And it's a cool environment. But if it's liquor, bruh. We was at this spot called Herman park. And I'm full of boom swarm. I'm so full of boom swarm. Like, I'm full of boom swarm. And then it's also was Jubilee Mad Dog 2020. You know what I'm saying? So we sitting and we had it in the cooler, me and this guy named Mar. And we just. It's a brawl. It's literally a brawl happening at the park. People fighting everywhere. But we sitting under a tree, sitting on top of the cooler, commentating the fight as we. Cause we so drunk, if somebody would've came over there and punched us, they would knock both of us out just by hitting one of us. Like, we was so drunk. But we sit on that cooler, we lean over this thing, we like, what y' all running? Like, that was my first. My first thought of ever being a drunk dude. Like, in the street corner, like, where people would say things. Just random say things. I was that dude.
D
Nah, I'm that person now. Yeah.
A
Yeah. And I remember we drove home, we was so lit, and Mario dropped me off, and I tried to walk in the house, like, I wasn't drunk. And it was like my mom and my stepdad was in the front. In the front of the house. And I. Bro, let me tell y'. All. Give y' all a tip out there. Young people, if you drunk, don't try to hold your eyes open wide. Cause you look just more drunk. I'm walking. I'm walking. I'm in there like, hey, y' all good? And I'm slurring like, what, drunky?
D
Yeah,
E
I was mixing your drinks.
A
It's like, in my mind, like, I am not drunk, because my eyes open wise, like, they are like, yo, you are so drunk. You are so drunk.
D
We know that move right there.
A
Yeah. Like, I don't even know why you even think. And you smell drunk, right? Like, that's the whole thing. Mints don't cut through. Boom.
D
No, no, no.
E
It comes out your pores.
D
Sweating that out, you breathing out your nostrils.
A
Unless you finna put Vicks in your nose. You drunk, bro? Because you got your eyes. It's crazy when I think about my, My. My years of. You know, I was going in 19, so I got to think of everything. And I. I hate, hate because people remember. I rem. I am reminded that I was gone for years all the time when somebody would try to bring up something. Yo, you remember in 93 when such and such came out, I was like, that's how you feel?
D
Yeah. I was locked up. I was inside.
A
That's what you. You wanna. Bro. You know, I was gone since 91. Yeah, but you wanna bring up something that happened in 94? Like, I was there.
D
Yeah.
A
I don't know. I never saw. When I saw Pac, he was with Digital Underground. That's my only recollection of him. And when I met him, he was a dancer. And. And I met him with Money B in the elevator in Houston.
D
Okay.
E
Yeah.
A
And I'm already in the streets, right? So this is not a street guy to, you know, he's background dancer.
D
You missed all of that other.
A
So when I. When I was. When I would inside, I would hear about street person. I was like, no, I met Youngen. Yeah, I met Youngen. Yeah. But people get mad at me when I say that. But I'm already in the streets, so why would I think that he was a street dude and I'm already in the streets. And I know I, like, Brenda had a baby, right? So I'm not correlating this, but I never saw Biggie. Biggie was gone. Both of them died.
E
97.
A
You got out, right? Yeah, I got out in 97.
E
So what was the difference between rap
A
a lot before and after, man? You know, you had mind playing TV show and all of that. Rap a lot wasn't an empire just yet. If anyone, you know what I'm saying? You know, you had face and you had the ghetto boys. At that time, I didn't even know either of the three.
E
Yeah.
A
You know what I'm saying? But I knew Bun, you know what I'm saying? But I didn't know C. Okay. You know what I'm saying? So it wasn't a road zero yet. It wasn't a slim thug yet or a beat king get in or a little Kiki. They wasn't There yet. You know what I'm saying? So when I'm leaving, you know, in 91, you had this guy named Born Twice that. You know, a royal flush that I was jamming these guys. You gotta think the year. What. What was happening in 91. Yeah. Versus, you know, that's the. The difference between me, the music scene. The music scene had changed. I remember I was on the bus, right, Getting transferred somewhere. And this is. This is one of the funniest things to me ever, when I was locked up. So this dude, he on the bus singing. And the dude next to me, I'm like. And I've been locked up for a while. I'm like, yo, man, you get money back there? He jamming, bro. He wasting his life in his prison, but he's singing the Fugees, and he back there drum. In my opinion, like, he back there jamming. I have no idea. This is the Fugees. I'm thinking this is a song that he done made up. I'm like, yo, my man back there one time that.
E
What an Adler.
A
Jamming. I'm like, yo, oh, my man is wasting his life, bro.
E
This could be a number one record, I feel like.
A
And I think that I told him, like, yo, man, when you get out of here, bro, you need to sing, bro. Two times. I'm like. And I'm thinking that this is this dude's song. Until I get to a unit and I get a radio and I finally hit it. I'm like. I was working in the front and I this song out that I was jamming every day. And I thought this was the coldest song in the world. And I never knew Celine Dion was white. I was like, yo, this black lady is jamming in. But it's. It's just the song that I. I don't have no video. If she ain't come on Kylie, Lynte. I ain't know what was going on.
D
Cali.
A
Hey, that's the boy. I'm telling you, that's a. When you locked up. That show right there is soft porn, bro. You understand? Kyle, Anything was like, yo, I'm not missing. I'm not missing. And Denise Austin is. No way in the world. Yeah, I'm missing Denise Austin in the morning doing these aerobics with these. With these full. This is why I like a full bathing suit to this day. Yeah.
D
Yeah.
A
Bathing suit is crazy to me. I'm like, but you. If you want to be attracted. If I'm attracted to you, you on the beach, you got a full Bathing suit on. I like. That is the one I don't give. Damn. I no bikini. I need you in a full bath with your whole hip out.
E
You love a Sears catalog, man.
A
Come on.
D
Yeah, yeah.
A
Come on, man. You know, more moms need to wear full bases. I agree with you. Stop. I don't want to see. I don't want to see your C section. I want to see you a full base. Put that Denise Austin bathing suit Denise Austin on. I'm telling you. Yeah, you're gonna get. You gonna get some small change from that and some leotards. I'm with it. Soft rebox in.
E
In short, can you explain to mall what the Mexicans have boots on me?
D
Yeah, he was telling me about that. I. I didn't catch that one.
A
Oh, you never seen that on. That's. That's one of the more popular. Jones. That was when I was on Comedy Central.
D
Yeah, I didn't catch that one. But Rory was telling me about it, that this.
A
The situation is less important to the career than the actual show.
D
Okay.
A
Cause the actual show kind of put me in this light to where I could actually do what I actually do. So I win this competition with Comedy Central, Comedy Central's comic to watch 2013. Right. Okay, so what comes with that? You hit. You get a special, get an album, and then you get up to appear on one of the Comedy Central shows. So this. They was trying to put me on Adam's Playhouse, or whatever that is Adam Devine's Playhouse. I was like, nah, I ain't really like that show. They offered me another show. I'm like, nah, I'm cool on that. And then Chase Derues sold his younger comic. He said, yo, man, you might want to go on this show that's on the Internet that they finna bring from the Internet to Comedy Central, which is. This is not happening. Okay. It's a storytelling show. Ari Shafir, right? So I see the show. I'm like, yo, this show is the one, you know? Cause these comics get on there and they tell stories, you know, long stories. Yeah. So I get. I say, can I get on this show? Get on that show? And then I'm going through the stories that I'm gonna tell, and I'm looking at how everybody else is telling these stories. I'm like, I pivot last minute. Okay. I'm about to tell another story. And I said, you know something? I'm gonna do the prison riot. And so I do prison riot. But in Inside the Prison Riot, it is a. It's a very juvenile account, like how green I am to how prison life works. It's not the county. It's not a good facility. This is how prison life works, and you don't know everything, right? So to go to prison and think that you gonna make it out and you all good is very juvenile. Cause you don't know what's happening all the time. So I'm getting ready to go to necessities to get my clothes, and as I'm going, this dude say, yo, you heard? And I'm like, heard what? He said, mexican got on boots. I don't know what this mean at all. To speed the story up, I get this, like, three times. Even when I get to the laundry, dude like, yo, man, go and get back inside. Mexican got on boots. I have no idea what this means. So when I get to Marcel, Marcelli is Mexican, okay? And I'm like, yo, Alvarez, apparently your people have on boots. What does that mean? He's like, yo, that means we gonna stab a bunch of black dudes on the wreck yard. I'm like, what? He said, yeah, you gonna stab a bunch of black dudes? I'm like, this is selling. Yeah.
E
And Mo, this is my scared straight. I was like, I'm never going to prison.
A
Like, yo, Alvarez, man. Like, what's that about? He's like, yo, on the wreck yard, it's gonna be a race ride. You stick with your race. You know, You. I say, alvarez, you would. You would stab me. We just finished eating together. And he's like, yeah, if you was on the wreck yard. I'm like, what? And then my. My boy Mitch, he came to my cell, and he was like, yo, let me holler at you real quick. He look at Albert. Yeah, at you real quick. I said, what's up? He said, yo, you heard, right? I said, what the miss got on boot? He's going down. You ain't never been a ride before. You know that? I said, nah, this is my first time here. Like, what are you talking about? There's been no riot. He's like, let me come to myself and show you how this get out. First of all, you're gonna have to get you a knife. Like, are they selling me somewhere, man? What. What's happening? What is happening? You act like I can just go to commissary, and it's. You gotta see the story. It's a whole thing that's jumping off. Yeah. And you don't. You don't know this is jumping off. Then I ain't gonna spoil it for you, but I got. You got to see all the rest of the setup. But I got cut. And when I got cut, Mitch was next to me. I said, mitch, he ain't even have on boots. He talking about they sneaky like that. It's like, you ain't. You like, you. You just told me all this other stuff, but you ain't tell me.
D
I'm looking for the boots.
A
I'm looking for the boots. Yo, so got on boots.
E
He ain't even left out that other part.
A
That.
E
Yeah, they're sneaky, too.
A
When you see it, it's stuff in there. But the fact that that man didn't have on boots when I got stabbed, I'm like, yo, man, you suck, bro. Like, you. You. You like. But you gave me all the rest of this advice, but you didn't say that. That.
D
That's an important part.
A
They may not.
D
They may not have on boost, but
A
still watching on the rec yard. Yeah.
E
Did you pass on that knowledge to maybe somebody else that was a rookie when you were a couple years in? Like, look.
A
Look for the bo. Man, when we. Anytime that we was having a riot, I would try to school people to, hey, yo, man, you gotta look at the signs. Yeah. Of how they work. There's a lot of dudes, man, that didn't make things because of not peeping the signs. Yeah. Like, yo, bro, this is a dangerous place. And this is not. I try to explain to youngsters, now, there's you in the streets. I get it. But I don't. Because there's so much other stuff that you can be doing. It's too many ways to make money. It was ways to make money then, right? I'm saying, it's like my man who was becoming an electrician at the time, yo, he's totally different. I look at him totally different. No, you. Yo, he like 14. You know, you're gonna be electrician, I'm saying. And I'm like, y' all be in the streets. And he's like, okay. And then you look at his life versus yours, and you see why he owns electrical company. He make all his bread. And it's so many things to do, you know, Even if you come from the hood, you can't give the hood this bad. This bad frame of mind or put people in this bad frame of mind about the hood. Like, it's like everybody in the hood is doing criminal activity. It's people in the hood that's doing other things. People trying to become plumbers. There's people who are carrying mail. There's people doing a lot of other things. It's not one option to make bread. And if you choose an easy route, that's different than somebody choosing a route that's going to have some more legs to it versus what you're doing. But we get caught up in the sensationalism of the bad guy is the person I want to be the bad guy. But I didn't get that from the movies. My pop sold powdered cocaine. You know what I'm saying? It was no crack when he was doing it. And he was selling this to attorneys. So my dad had a carrier service downtown, a respectable thing that he started with him and his friend. And he was giving powder cocaine to people who wanted it at the time. You know, it's no different than what it was. Studio 54, whatever it was, People putting. Everybody was doing cocaine at this time, it seemed, you know, and. Cause the Bee Gees was definitely doing cocaine with them outfits. 1000%.
D
1000%.
E
What do you think inspired the music?
A
Like, yo, I know for fact, she, like, you can. By the way, you def. One of. One of my favorite groups.
D
Oh, absolutely.
A
You know. You know, it's what's crazy. Somebody asked me about, man, how terrible was heroin? And I was like, but, ah, we got a lot of good music out of here, yo.
D
1,000.
E
Some of the best.
D
Definitely.
A
You got a lot of good music.
D
Definitely did.
A
And I say. Even I say, if you go back then and you go current, like, I love Nirvana. You know what I'm saying? And I definitely love Red Hot Chili Peppers. I was like, yo, they are definitely on drugs. And. But then when you think about this song. Hello, hello, hello. I'm like, yo, he's. Yo, who. Who is writing this song? That's not high. Yeah, like, this is how you start off a song, you know?
D
You know, I'm gonna say hello.
A
Yeah, yeah. Hello, hello, hello. Is anybody in there? But not if I can see. Oh, it's gonna be a classic. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
E
Nothing says sobriety about that.
D
Nothing.
A
You know, I have become comfortably numb. Come on. Pink Floyd.
D
Right?
A
But. So I don't. Yeah, can I say that it was. I don't think it's a lot of sober people writing great songs.
E
Yeah, but promethazine, I think, was the last. Last great drug of music.
A
You talking about syrup?
E
The last one. Because now fentanyl makes terrible music.
A
Yeah.
E
These kids on fent make the worst music ever.
A
And pills make music.
E
Syrup is.
A
But you got. Y' all gotta understand how first of all, it's amazing that you completed a song when you own. Y' all understand this is something that started.
D
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
A
In Houston. We're not talking about the rest of the tech. We talking about in Houston.
D
Right.
A
South side, right? When you would see somebody, you would thought. You thought they would sleep. You thought they would sleep. And they are in traffic. And that man does not have park on. That man is in drive.
D
Yeah, yeah.
A
And he. And then you come. Yo, buddy. He's like, what's up, bud?
C
You good?
D
Yeah.
A
Like, how do you finish a song with a couple.
D
Lean. Yeah.
A
You know what I'm saying? And I just. I just know it's. First of all, shout out to the genius of doing it. Because, bro, I've never did syrup. I. But I. I have done this. I said I'm gonna take three caps of NyQuil. Yeah. And I'm gonna try to write something. And you know what was on that paper? Your pillow. Hello. Like, I've. Man, you gotta be.
E
That's why I chopped the screw. Makes so much sense. You gotta slow.
A
What. They got so down to rehear. I mean, replay what I said, right?
E
Stretch that out.
A
I. I've. I've listened to like. And. And I don't think chopping screw makes sense when they going. When it's going at regular speed. No, it's like. But the. That's syrup talking. It's a classic, man. June 27th is a classic. Like, it's. These are songs that if you In Houston, you have to know it's like you like. Because you gonna feel. You gonna feel crazy if you in a Club in June 27th. Come on. And some of the prettiest women. Yeah. And some of the most well dressed dudes. Everybody. You're like, what's going on? But that June 27th is crazy. Pimping the penny. Oh, man. Tops. Drop it, man. It's maybe. It's about maybe 30, 40 songs that you gotta know to live in Houston. DMD. DMD. Got one of the coldest ones, man. 25 layers on my dresser. But. But what's the. What's my joke by him that I love moving big way. What is it? 25 8. It was at 25. Eight is. Should be a. An anthem for people who hustle. And I'm talking about in any capacity, right? Whether your podcast, whether whatever you doing. 25eight. That man say he worked 25eight. He gotta hustle. Like, he moving big weight. He Just 25 hours a day, eight days a week is what he is how he's doing his business. And that's a, that's a big song for me. When I, when I'm getting ready to do something, I'm gonna put on 25. 8. Cause that's how my mentality is, you know, that I'm working this hard, you know, 25 hours a day, eight days a week. No worry about Mo.
E
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D
now you preach independence
A
a lot, all day.
D
That's like a big thing for you as a comic legend in this space. How important is independence? Like now more than ever.
A
It's like Prince man. You want to own your own catalog, you want to own your own stuff. You don't want somebody to be able to put out things on you that you have no power on. How the money has been broken up or how it's even being, you know, distributed, how it's being put out there. The light that you putting yourself in. So my thing was I had to save up my bread to start doing my own thing. You know, it's kind of like going back to when I was hustling. I don't wanna work for nobody, you know, I don't wanna get be on consignment. I just wanna buy my stuff and break it down and make what I make, you know, without a middleman. So with me doing the specials and constantly putting it out and being able to clip it up and being able to put it in other spaces that where I wanted and have some type of power over where it's going and what my kid and passing this down to my kids, my kids. I have total control of my whole entire catalog. The albums and the specials, I'm saying the books, you know, it, it won't be. They have to go talk to somebody or they had to break their bread up. You know, you just keep the legacy going and then you straight. But you know you had these people who fighting for they catalog. Yeah, right. You know, no knock on Mike Jack when he did it. But just think you, the Beatles and somebody buy your catalog, you know, like it's like me buying a bunch of guys specials and then they still having to work with me. Then no matter what you do, I'm still making the bread. But you know, I would hate that, you know. So how that started was I did the special with Comedy Central 2018. I put a clip of it up and got copyrighted friends for my own.
E
For your own shit.
A
I can even promote my own stuff. And so when we called, I think this is a. You know, sometimes when you hear what you want to hear, I hear what needed to be said to me, what I needed to hear. We own it. And I took that as if they owned me. And I was like, well, nobody ever be able to do this again. And even the album that I put out with them, when I got the album back, after so many years of them having it, I got the album back, and now it's back in my catalog. So I'm still waiting to buy the special back bigger than these bars. But now Comedy Central and sold to Paramount. Paramount sold it to this person. So who knows when I'm gonna get that back.
E
Does comedy work in the same publishing of, like, after 30 years, you could get it back? How does. How does comedy publishing work?
A
I don't. I don't know. Because my deals had a certain amount of time that I. I was getting it back, so I didn't know how record. I didn't know record had 30 years. I just know that I had 10. This or I had the deal. I get it back a percentage of it back when I recoup. Yeah, when they. When they recoup. Okay. But bro, that. You know how crazy it is when you. When they come tell you they spend $400,000 in lights.
E
I've been there. Specific number, too.
A
When am I going?
E
It's weird that you landed on that number.
A
When am I going this back? And we just talking about lights. Yeah. Nothing else. We just talking about lights.
E
And at a venue that had them.
A
And. And he was like, oh, yeah. You know? And then I could kind of believe because I shot this one inside of a prison, so they had to bring everything.
E
Okay, gotcha.
A
But this is the thing. But 400, 000. Yeah. And then my mind, like, so you don't know nobody, like, not one single person, man. And then you say, it's kind of like when you get married and. And they get a wedding planner. Yeah. They say, hey, man, listen, $5,000 for a wedding planner. I plan your surprise birthday party. Like, five of them. And everybody had an amazing time. Why can I not plan this wedding? Yeah, like this. This don't even make sense to me. Like, I'm not paying. And then the wedding planner come ask you what you want to eat. Everything for 5,000, you should know you should be telekinesis. I should walk in and be like, oh, a unicorn. Ice wanted that.
D
I'm glad it's here.
A
Getting champagne's running down to keeping the champagne cold. Like, you supposed to. Don't ask me nothing. Once I pay you 5,000, I don't ask me nothing.
D
Right, right.
A
You know what I'm saying? But when you. Bro. When they were. They tell you that they. $400,000 in lights. Yeah. And you was like, yo, did y' all leave them on? Like, after I left, were they still on? Like, hey, man, what.
D
Are they still in the prison?
A
Like, yo, what was I doing? I mean, let me see the special. I can see this up lighting. I need to re. See it to see where. Because now I do production, and I've never charged my 400,000. It's like, I would never do a special if it was $400,000. And I've been some. I've done some amazing lighting things.
D
Yeah.
A
With specials. 400,000. Yeah. And I. And because I did $400,000 is in my mind. When Jordan the lighting guy comes to me and say, hey, you know, I think that we should do this with the more night it's gonna cost another, you know, 12,000. I'm like, do it. Yeah. Because it's not 400,000. I'm like, oh. So the total for lights we spent when we spent on the lights. Lights. Okay. Like, okay, I'll take that. $18,000. You know, they didn't have a bub in here. They brought all these lights.
D
Yeah.
A
And I got them.
E
Right.
A
These lights are in my garage.
D
Yeah.
A
Like, I know, like, and then I, I. I can't wait till I get this spot all the way done. So I have. I got all these specials. The outfits that I wore to these specials. Okay. I got them framed.
D
Okay.
A
And with. With a little thing inside of them, what they was from. I can't wait to start going through this museum. And like, yo, you see these lights right here? These were.
E
This is the best lit museum that
A
you could be in. These lights over here.
D
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
A
I'm gonna go through all the lighting setups, you know, See?
D
Yeah.
A
See, what? You don't know where I was at in this space with this light right here, Particularly this.
D
This one. This one in particular.
E
This one is the sun. That's how much it costs. No, I've talked to artists where they'll have 150,000 on marketing of an album no one heard. And he's sitting there like, wait, wait, y' all didn't even clear this with me. And I gotta recoup $150,000 on an album that nobody heard.
A
Yeah.
E
And what do we market?
D
Right?
A
Who did you market this to? Yo, I remember my. My first publicist, and it didn't last long because I think she was putting me in a different space. Like, she was a publicist for some rock artists and some other people. She's like, we having a conversation and the trial was over. Like, she gave me a one month trial, but we never really said, I don't give one month trial. Gave me a one month trial, right. And then the next month she was like, so, yeah, I'm gonna be $10,000 a month. I said, what? At the time. I'm just now getting the. I'm just now taking the. What what other comics wouldn't take was the off weekends.
D
Okay.
A
Like the. The worst weekends in the club.
D
Yeah.
A
I'm taking those weekends and I'm getting what, maybe $2,000 for the weekend? Yeah. You know, hotel and travel, but I'm going to do it. I'm like, yo, that's gonna lead into some. Some other things. Yeah, they papering half the room. People don't know because I'm in. I'm in Utah and Idaho. Don't mind. Know me, right? But it's a Thanksgiving weekend, right? You know, everybody with their family. Nobody gonna. Damn comic club. Yeah. And like Halloween. Halloween is awful.
D
Yeah.
A
And then I'm taking it. I'm doing what? What else? What else? You got the summer. Taking it. Taking a summer in Minnesota, right? They don't get out. They. They go in in the winter.
E
What day is the Super Bowl?
A
Yeah, taking it. Super bowl weekend.
D
Taking it, definitely.
A
Yeah. Everybody don't watch football. And when that lady said $10,000, I was like, yo, but what. What do you. Yeah. Got going on? Like. Like, who you talking to? Then I got. I had another publisher, right, that they got me. This time I'm popping, so. And I'm using comedies. I was coming off a Comedy Central's publicist, so I'm like, hot. Then I did another show with NBC and I had their publicist, and I want NBC bring the funnies. So their publicist is booking all this stuff for me. So now they gone. Cause the show's over. And, man, this dude booked me and. Okay, man, I get it, but the parties are not. You get me invited to parties and, and benefits, but this is not. Magic Johnson's wife is not telling anybody to go see me because she saw me at the party. Like, yeah, what? And it's like, it was astronomical. I paid it for like three months. And I was like, yeah, I'm not, I'm. This is a three month. Like, you had to do three months with them. I'm like, yeah, yeah, never again. So now I, I just, I want to get the best results for the money that I'm spending. But I always go back to this. $400,000 in life was not.
E
That's the North Star right there.
A
It's like, yo, I'm. Yeah, what were you doing? Like, this is like this. Did y' use the stuff that they used to make us think they went to the moon?
E
That was definitely cheaper than 400,000.
A
Houston, we have a problem. When the lights went out.
E
No, Ali got all the lights.
A
Moon lit light is going, man, it's crazy.
E
What you think of.
A
That's Times Square, definitely. No, that's $1,000 a night. That's Times Square. Billboards are cheaper. That's like who I just saw. What's the. What's the lady, the Hispanic lady name, Sierra, Sasha, whatever her name is. I just saw on the billboard.
D
Shakira.
A
Shakira.
D
Shakira.
A
She looked amazing on that billboard.
D
Cheaper than 400,000. Definitely.
E
What'd you think of the Kevin Har roast?
A
Didn't watch it.
E
Okay. Did you see any of the reactions?
A
Like the mixed reviews I've heard, but I know that's a hot topic. But people are amazed that I didn't watch it. And I'm like, why? Yeah, I said, I said between me and Ben. Stella, do you think Ben watched it? He's like, well, you not being. I said, you don't know who I am, right? Obviously I don't. I had no expectations on watching it. I know, Kev, but I'm not gonna watch a Hollywood roast either.
E
Okay.
A
This is a Hollywood thing. This is a TV show. This is not a roast. It's named that.
D
What you mean by that?
E
Yeah, what's the difference?
D
I think I kind of.
E
Cause I watched all the Comedy Central roast as a kid and I saw the Tom Brady one and the Kev Hart one.
A
I was at the Tom Brady one. But this is a show. This is not classic roast from when I was. When I was watching at the Fries Club.
D
Oh, yeah.
A
When I was watching Friends.
D
Yeah. This ain't that.
A
Talk to each other.
E
Gotcha.
A
Yeah, I'm watching Friends.
D
Yeah.
A
Yeah. I'm getting. I'm getting an inside privy to Friends.
E
Yep.
A
Talking.
D
Right.
A
And so watching that versus what it is. What it has become is two different things. If I'm getting roasted and I look on the. I look on the panel, there's a bunch of people that I don't have no real relationships with. Relationships where I ain't spending no time with these people. These people don't know me intimately. They know you may. You can know me industry, but you don't know me intimately. Yeah. You know what I'm saying? So it's comics that I run into, say I ran into you 15 times. We talked about we know each other, we on the same show, but we don't know each other. So I can't say what you would or you would not do. I don't even have anything intimate to say about you because I just ran into you, man. I ran into Babyface brother, too. I don't know him. I just know after seven, I don't know him.
D
Yeah.
A
You know what I'm saying? But I also have ran into Montell Jordan and me and Monte. I, I know Montell Jordan a little more than I know Babyface's brother. You know why? Cause I'm still calling it Babyface's brother.
D
Right.
A
You know, but I interviewed Montell Jordan as when I was doing radio. You know, I interviewed Cisco. You know what I'm saying? But if you ask me, what's my relationship between Darnell Rollins and say, like, a Godfrey. I know Godfrey. Yeah. Darnell always talk about. When he always talk about. I don't mess with him like, every time. Donnell. I know you don't mess with me like Darnell. Why you say this? Because I would come to the radio and you wouldn't be there. It's Friday, Darnell. I'm on the road.
E
You're on the radio to promote your show that night. I'm doing a show.
A
Talk to the co host. I don't. You know, Darnell is crazy. Yeah. Is that. But Godfrey. I know Godfrey. But even more than I know Godfrey, I know DL, you know, I know DL person is my mentor. So if he's getting roasted, I would be there. You know what I'm saying? And I would be part of the people. And I'm gonna say something personal. If I'm getting roasted, DL's gonna come and say, I already noticed. I already know. I know the story that he's gonna say.
D
Yeah.
A
Like, I already know. I could just be the people who I would be that would be roasting me. I'll be sitting there like, I already know what they gonna say. I, I, I know. And I. And I'm writing my comebacks in my head as they doing it. But, man, what am I gonna do with. When I look across and Shane Gillis is over there? I don't know Shane but at all.
D
But Kev has a relationship with him, though.
A
Does he?
D
I don't know.
A
Does he have.
E
I don't know.
A
I don't know who he has a relationship with, but I don't think that. I've never heard you talk about Tony Hinchcliffe.
D
True.
A
Yeah. And then the other thing is, the roast is not just about Kevin. It's other people saying something. Cheryl don't have a relationship with him.
D
Really?
E
I was under the impression, I thought
D
they knew each other. They had a relationship.
E
And Chelsea Handler didn't catch.
D
Yeah, he used to work with Chelsea.
A
What is the relationship between Cheryl and Tony Hinchcliffe and anything. This is what I'm talking about, the whole scheme.
E
I'm talking specifically.
D
Okay, okay.
E
Yeah.
A
I'm talking about the whole scheme. What is the relationship between the people that's on the panel with each other? Because this is what the roast was like when you was coming up. Everybody on here knew each other. These are friends.
E
Yeah.
A
Got you. That know personal things about each other.
D
Right.
A
Now you can't say nothing about me. And I don't know you.
D
Yeah, right.
A
If I'm not even. I'm not the person that's. That's the host. That. That's the main person. I'm. I'm sitting there and then you say something about me. I'm like, what?
D
Yeah. I don't even know this dude.
A
We don't have to talk about this afterwards.
D
Yeah.
A
Yeah. And I'm not even going to laugh while we're there. Right there. The. The camera will paying me. I be like this. Yeah.
D
Yeah. Again, I.
A
It'll be a lot of height. I be like, all right, word. You. This be the first roast. They were like, we ain't concerned about the host. We talking about this person. Like, Ali is insane. Like, he's the only one talking about. Yeah, word. I bet that. Bet that. We'll see about it.
D
Yeah.
A
It's like, I'll be wilding because I don't know you.
D
Yeah.
A
If it's somebody saying something about me that I know, then I'm cool. But that's the thing. I didn't watch, so I really don't have in depth take on it outside of this is a show versus the growing up in school and people sitting on the back of the bus and everybody talking about each other. Which was called roasting. You know what I'm saying?
D
So it's different now for sure.
A
It's. It's a different.
D
This is like Red Fox is Roast
A
versus it's totally different. Everybody knows each other on this thing.
D
Yeah, yeah.
A
So it's fair game. Everybody spend time with each other. And that's the thing. That's the difference. So whatever happened, whatever was said and people clearing it is, in my mind, I know people. What's the intimate relationship between. I don't even know the whole panel. I just know it was something said about Shane Gillis, something said about Tony Hinchcliff. And I don't know the rest of the dynamics of it, but I just
D
know that everybody up there was pretty much people he's either worked with on movies. Regina hall obviously worked with movies. Naeem Lin, he writes with him.
A
Yeah, I know Naeem Lyn.
D
Yeah, yeah.
A
You know what I'm saying? So Naeem is. Yeah, yeah. That. You know, that rock.
D
Obviously. Personal relationship.
A
So I wrote a book, right? Wrote a book, and I wrote about the 13 things, the 13 steps that helped me get to where I'm at. It was called Applied Advice. I wrote the book about the 13 pieces of advice that was given to me from 13 people that I know. So if those people roasted me, these are the people who gave me advice. I'm gonna be personal when it comes to Cheryl. You say something about Cheryl, right? Cause Cheryl gave me some great advice, and she's in the book. I'm gonna take it personal if you say something about Bruce.
D
Bruce.
A
I'm gonna take it personal if you say something about Bill Bellamy. You say something about D.L. you say something about Dick Gregory. You know what I'm saying? You say something about these people, I'm gonna take this personal. Cause these are people who gave me into me as a young comic. I'm not gonna take it personal if you say something about Darnell.
D
Right.
A
I like Darnell, but I don't know Darnell enough to defend Darnell or take something personal. Right. Gotcha. You know what I'm saying? But I wouldn't let you just talk about him. And they're like, oh, do you know? I would ask, do you know him? I don't know that to be true about him. Like, even with his comedy, when I heard it was a whole thing about his comedy being mid. I think Darnell is funny. That's me, though. Yeah.
D
For sure.
A
But how many times have I went and seen Darnell do stand up? I'm judging Darnell from The comic view appearances and his movie appearances and Chappelle Show. Yeah, I'm not judging his live show. I've never seen Darnell live. And. And due to the fact that we both working.
D
Right.
E
Yeah.
A
I'm saying I've never seen Martin live, but the Martin show I'm connected to and his specials, you know. But I'm gonna take it personal. You say something about Martin. Because I take it personal when it comes to any of the icons. Yeah, I'm gonna take it just as personal. You say something about Don Rickles or Carol Burnett, you know what I'm saying? Like, will you. Because I want to know where your, where you coming from with this? Yeah. You know what I'm saying? When you don't. If you don't. Especially if you don't know. Because comedy is a personal thing to me. Not your. I think that some people nowadays get it mixed up when we talk about giving people the title of greats and they, they give you that title now based upon movies and sitcoms, but not your actual standup.
D
Right.
A
You know what I'm saying is there's certain people that are great comedic actors. I wouldn't put them in stand up though, of course. Yeah, yeah.
E
It's a different part of the brain. It's a different sport, in my opinion.
A
Because you did a funny role in a movie. Does it make you a great stand up?
D
Not a right.
A
But some people think, well, you did all this, so your movie appearances has no bearing on your stand up. Just like that has no bearing on if you're a good person. See, that's the thing. Just because you play, you're a good basketball player, football player or actor, doesn't mean that you're a good person, that you're a stand up man. And I think that people get this misconstrued dude. And then they, they think that, oh, I like him on this. That doesn't mean that you would like him in real life. I'm saying, man, I, I cussed out Chuck Willery.
D
So Chuck Wooler. What did Chuck Willery.
E
Wow. Sentence.
A
Y' all gotta wait for the special conflict in conflict. Man, I, I got. And I think because I made it right, I' ma do the special conflict because I got into it with all these people. But I apologize when I was wrong and when I cussed out Patrick, you in a luggage store in Houston because he didn't want to take a picture. And I'm taking this personal. I'm like, yo, bro, I bought them. Yeah, big space boots. I like I had, like, four or five pair of them, bro, with the 33 on the back. I was tight. I was tight about it, bro. And it's been some instances, man, where I have been. I'm saying, some problem. I didn't probably been. Like. Like, to this day, I don't mess with Fantasia. Like, I don't listen to music. People say something about. I don't. I ain't got nothing to do with it.
D
What happened there?
E
Why you don't get big on literacy?
A
So I take my daughter. My daughter is, like, 12, okay? I take her to a Fantasia concert, and, man, we. We had the show. And not only is she at the Fantasia, I'm. I did 45 minutes to open up the show, okay? The thing says, ali's dick and Fantasia. Yeah, got you. You know what I'm saying?
E
So I miss those days, by the way, when they would pair comedians and musicians.
A
So just by right, would you think that say me and you do a show together? By right. Do you think I would take a picture with your child?
D
For sure, 100%.
A
Just by right.
D
Yeah.
A
Okay.
D
We on the marquee together.
A
So, man, I'm waiting, and I'm letting people go in. We in this secluded area at the Arena Theater, and I'm waiting, and then my daughters are here. It's my daughter and her friend, and she was just waiting to take a picture with Fantasia, man. Then the security guy come out and like, yeah, no more pictures. I'm like, what? So, man, this is my daughter. Yeah, no. Yeah, no more pictures. And, bruh, I am trying to keep it together. And I know that I'm not wrong, because my. My daughter's mother was like. And she was shaking her head like, nah, this gonna go bad. And I'm like, yo, just, you know, take. Take my shorty. And the. The owners of the arena and the promoter is seeing. Because they know me. They like, yo, yeah, this is not. This is not going. Yeah, yo. And I'm. Yo. I'm like, yo, say, bro. Yeah, bro. Y' all got a couple of minutes to get out of here. And I am, bruh. I. I'm a ticking time bomb. Yeah. And I don't think they. They realize, like, bro, I don't know if you know, brother, this is. This is finna go bad, bro. Yeah. Because I feel like you played my daughter, right? So my daughter, you know, she's 27 now. We don't even talk. We don't talk about. I ain't messing with Fantasia since. And then my brain works like this. Even though I probably never listen to your music again, I never do nothing with you. I still think, well. Well, maybe it was just a bouncer.
D
Yeah. Maybe she didn't even know. She didn't even know.
A
Maybe you was in there doing something and you. Whatever, you know, but the people that's around you like my people. Hey, man, don't send nobody away without talking to me. Me. Right.
D
Yeah, right.
A
Because see, that's gonna always come back on me. Yeah.
D
Yeah, for sure.
A
So it made me a more focused artist that I would rather it be said by me or me come out or, you know, like I smoke a pipe sometimes. There's tobacco pipe. Let me brush my teeth first, you know, before I come out and meet a kid. You know, I ain't concerned about no adult, but let me, you know, so I'm not gonna be drunk or nothing like that. So I don't know what you was back there doing, but it gives me a different understanding. But I still, to this day, I don't listen and I don't even say nothing bad. I just don't listen. I don't rock with it because it still happened. And as an artist, you had to be responsible for your team. Just like when you go to a comedy club and you got all these people that's with you or you on a tour, you got all these people with you. If they trash that green room, that's on you. You know what I'm saying? That's on you because you're the main person. Absolutely. So it make you more cognitive of how the people. And that's another thing about with people who ask to go on the road with you. In my dm, it's all type of people. I would love the opportunity to open for you or go on the road with you. How you know you would love that opportunity? You're just thinking about crowd to this nature. But it's me, you being on the road with me or me, it's more about me sharing the space with you versus your. You could be funny, but I don't. But we don't like each other. You know what I'm saying? We don't mix, you know what I'm saying? So I'd rather just have the people around me that I'm cool with and that I can have fun with, that I trust, versus, oh, this guy is more talented than this guy. Okay, you funnier than this guy. But what he adds is, hey, man, he's not. I know that he's not gonna say anything about whatever. Go on, man. Yo, this is. It was a body on the ground in the room. We left, cleaned up everything but the body. And then they. They got him in the interrogation room, like, so did you see a body? Like, when. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Like you say it was. Well, no, no, no, I took. No, it couldn't have been. I can't. I went and got my backpack. Yeah, yeah. I ain't step over nobody. Right. And then. But then you. That. I don't know. That's hilarious now. Yeah. So the body you talking about, the one that was on the ground? Yeah. Did you see the one that was in the closet? It's a trust factor.
D
We don't really know each other.
A
You wouldn't do a podcast with somebody that you really, really don't know. Cause you just sitting across from them. You like. I have no idea how to even think about anything.
E
When you see those podcasts. And they usually suck.
D
Suck.
E
When it's two co hosts that never
D
met each other, don't know each other.
A
They just come to sit down.
D
Yeah.
A
For the first time. He was like, yo. He was like, yo, so I love pork.
E
50 tour stops left.
A
No.
D
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
A
Devout, like, he prayed everything, but it's crazy.
D
Yeah, yeah.
A
You saying, like, when you said you was a prop Mohamed, I looked. I like, stack for law. I was like, I said it you before you even finish it. I was stack for law. I'm like, he don't know what he's saying.
D
No, no, no.
A
I know whatever you was talking about. I was like, but. But to a Muslim, I was like, yo, he. Wow,
D
that's funny.
A
As put a Jesus piece on. I was like, wow.
D
Yeah.
A
I pray for you. Like. Like, I don't even think. Probably stuck with love.
D
Yeah.
A
Let me pray for this brother now.
D
No, you know what's funny about that? Now I know while he was sitting here looking like, what? Like he was trying to gauge the room.
A
Like, I was like, yo, what's going on?
D
That's funny.
E
I missed that. But now so much makes sense of the beginning of this entire thing. Because I was like, something happened.
A
Yeah, yeah, yeah. I'm just sitting there. I was like, that. I'm making all type of do for him. Like,
D
That's funny. As the listeners ain't gonna get it, but that's funny.
A
It's not like. It's like. It's not like he's saying it at a random time. This is. This is dual Alad. This is like the first 10 days of this month. This is a sacred 10 days, you know what I'm saying? And like he is. Wow,
D
that's funny. As. Oh my God.
A
So many Stu. But you got so many blessings on you right now.
D
Yeah, I appreciate that.
A
I'm glad you called. It's like you might well be dipped in olive oil right now.
D
I appreciate that.
E
Mo. I know you see that the beard is shining. It looks immaculate. I've got that baskin lather on, man. The beard softener has, has changed everything.
D
So hype. You got a product that you could
E
really use now because a lot of beard oils and beer products I've used like dried out my hair and my skin so I got flakes on my shirt. I look nuts. No woman wants to, you know, put her fingers through my beard. The softener has, has changed everything. It works perfect on my face.
D
You just remember you should put lotion. You should put regular body lotion in your business.
E
100. I thought coconut oil was going to do it and I go out, get a sunburn, couldn't even walk around. But no basking. Lather has been great for me. Natural beer growth oil for fuller thicker facial hair. It has a blend of vital nutrients to help nourish and increase blood circulation to hair follicles and promotes softening beard hair and dandruff reduction. And it works for all hair types.
D
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C
Hi, it's Colin Coward from the Colin Coward podcast. Every goal starts with an assist. As Official partners of U.S. soccer, this team is ready to deliver Sensodyne dentist recommended defense of your sensitive teeth Centrum. Fueling your day with science backed nutrients. Advil of course. Powerful inflammation fighting pain relief relief. Voltaren Arthritis gel. Helps penetrate deep, keeps the joints moving and tums ready to counterattack with fast heartburn relief. Learn how Halion can assist your game day goals@helionassist.com Colin this is Jeff T
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C
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A
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A
Details.
C
Picture this Me, Reese Witherspoon in London
A
ordering fish and chips so often they
E
might start wrapping me in paper.
C
I'm traveling with my Wells Fargo Autograph
A
Journey card, so I earn rewards wherever I book.
C
Travel five times points with hotels, four times with airlines, three times on restaurants
A
and other travel and one point on other purchases.
C
Imagine getting rewarded for eating a toad in the hole.
A
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E
Visit Wells Fargo
C
Terms apply.
D
One of the biggest things from the roast was what seemingly seemed to be Kev and Cat kind of putting their thing to the side. Cat showing up obviously is a big thing because him and Kev's history, you know, whatever, they don't really get along. Whatever it was that was there, they seem to have buried dad and hash that away on stage. Now I caught your episode with 7pm in Brooklyn, shout out to Kaz and Melo and everything that happened after that. When Cat Williams came on after you after your episode aired and I seen you went back on and then let them know, like, yeah man, I ain't like, I ain't like the way y' all did that and this, that. And third, where's that relationship now, though? Like with you and Katt, Is there any relationship? Is there, was there any communication after that? Or is it just something like, listen, man, you know, he doing his thing, I'm doing my thing and we kind of.
A
Yeah, we, we said we separate. Separate ball games, you know, do your thing. Yeah, I don't have. I don't have nothing good nor bad to say about him. You know, we just know. And I' ma always stick on this. Manhood is a big thing, for sure. Like I say, just because you in this space don't mean that you 100 in another space. So that's the gist of it with me. So. But if you say on site with the understanding that you're never gonna be seen.
D
Oh, I love that. I love those.
A
I love that it's a thing. Okay. Yeah. You know, and I mean, I. Realistically, bro, I pray for the health and the wellness of not only my friends and my constituents, but also my people who have made themselves enemies to me. And blessings to. Blessings to you. And until combat, right?
D
Until combat.
A
Into combat. And that's the. That's the. The most that I can even say because I don't think that there would ever be a. And it's not. It's not. I don't know that. And that's the creator. I've said this before. I leave it alone. Unless the creator changes my heart on it. But I've been like that before with formidable opponents in the streets. Like, we good, and I say we straight, and then we'll see each other. And there's still gotta be some understanding that's being. That's being said. And, like, people will say that I'm bullying somebody. And I'm not no bully. I just know what I actually am, right? Then the room gets a lot smaller when I'm in this tension because I'm not. I kind of. Somebody asked me if I had to describe myself in an animal form. I said, it's easy, honey badger. I'm rolling along, minding my business, you know, forging. And then a line come up. A pack of lines come up and try to kill me. And I just came back down. I'm going to. I'm gonna. I'm gonna fight. And it's what it is. I don't have no weight class. And I used to say this when I was locked up, bruh. I'm a hard way to go. And if you wanna. If you wanna catch this ride, just do what we gonna do, right? Because what's the. What would be the fear in a person who loves combat? Whether it's whatever you choose, right? And if it's fist, if we just fighting. Oh, man. Come on, bro.
D
Yeah, that's easy.
A
I grew up. I grew up fighting, and I've been boxing since I was six. It's like. Like, bruh, right? And if you go, hopefully, you bigger than me, this is when it get real nice. You will see the difference between the footwork, being able to really. A person that can really fight and a person who can't. Like, I'm not. I'm not. I'm not. Ain't no blind punches with me.
E
This is. This is.
A
This is a setup. I'm setting you up for something. And I hope, man, I.
D
But this is not to say that you and Cat gonna throw hands. Okay, well, shit, maybe this is.
A
This is a thing that we don't know. It's better for me to leave it alone.
D
Yeah.
A
And then be in the situation, and then you'll find out. But, see, sometimes I done been into it with somebody, and then we'd have been in the same room, and it was enough for me to be in the same room just like, bruh, you didn't want.
D
You didn't want that part. Okay. I feel you.
A
Your heart is so weak when it comes to what you talking. And then people talk from safe spaces. And when I say safe spaces. I don't have no bodyguards, bro. I don't need them. I don't even know. I don't even know. I'm not behind no bunch of people. I'm not on. I'm not gonna say it on the show. I'm not even gonna say it on the show. So where people could. It could be recorded to where you'll know if something happened, it was me.
D
Right?
A
Cause there's safety in that. It's safety in putting something out there publicly. I tried to handle it in the private.
D
Right.
A
You know, it's kind of like I was. This dude cut me off one time. He in his truck. I'm in my car, and he kind of tried to run me off the road. So then I caught up to him. I said what? I said, and he said, pull over. I pulled over. Right in the streets.
D
Yeah.
A
And he drove past me and said, come to the gas station. Yeah, yeah, yeah. We get to the gas station, I take all my stuff off and I put my gloves on. And anytime I come from over here by the cameras, it's cameras all over the place. You passed me over here, and then gonna get in his truck, and they, man, you. You lucky. I'm not lucky nothing. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. You called me over here, I sat over there. You know what I'm saying? With no cameras, you brought me over to the gas, and somebody come from up the camera. It's. It's a gas station. These cameras everywhere, see everything. Yeah, man. Bro, you ain't want. You ain't want this. Yeah. Like. Cause you already. Because you thought in your mind that I was going to back down on the pull over. Yeah, bruh. When you saw. When you saw that I took that shirt off and put them gloves on your mind, like, why does he have
E
gloves so accessible in his car?
A
And he's in slacks and hard bottoms. And this, man, I'm thinking this is a regular. Because in your mind, somebody who's driving a Bottega.
D
Yeah.
A
Is a regular smuggler, dude. He got some corporate job. I'm right over.
D
Yeah.
A
Unbuttoned shirt. Do my shirt in the back with my gloves on. And it's these skin, like, it's almost like golfing gloves. They a real thin leather. I slipped them on real quick.
D
Yeah.
A
You know, took off my ring. I'm like, what's up? Yeah. And he's like, like, come one of them cameras, like, yo, bro, you called me over here, you can tell. You can tell in the stands that this is not finna go, yeah, like. And I'm light on my feet, and I'm like. I'm like, yo, you, bro, you are not finna make it to whatever construction job you on your way to. You finna go in there mangled.
E
I would never tell somebody that I didn't want to fight to go over to the gas station. But in his defense, if somebody got out they fucking car with they shirt off and some gloves on, I'd be like, you know, you got it, you got it.
D
We ain't got.
E
I would never do that without the intention. I'm saying, though, if somebody came out like that. Nah, I'm cool.
A
Call you over.
E
Somebody come out shadow boxing, you get out.
A
You guys like, oh, this gonna be a good one. You know what I'm saying? But goodness gracious, like, I was so offended that you said come from up under the camera. And now I'm out here. This. This what it look like. His. This is me talking. He in the truck. Like, there's cameras everywhere. Like, I look like a crazy man when I look back at it. Like, yeah, yo, I know my man, the Indian guy that's definitely running this gas station, looking at this camera like, look at the people. Like, I know he is wilding because, man, it's like a Jamaican dude coming out of a machete.
D
Oh, that's they saying, yeah, he already
A
know he about business. This ain't no sugar cane deal. This is like, he's about business at all. And he pointing to you and saying all these strange words that you ain't Never. You like, yo, I'm like, yo, man, I'm good.
D
Well, hopefully, you know, I mean. I mean, I don't know where it started at, but I do, you know, watching you in 7pm in Brooklyn, I do know kind of the back end after Cat was on and then you went back on. But, you know, wherever it's at, hopefully it doesn't come to any physicality or anything like that, man.
A
It's like this.
D
We don't want to see that you ain't you.
A
That we not gonna be in the same space. We not.
D
Okay.
A
We not gonna be.
E
Not gonna be at the gas station.
A
Yeah, not at the gas station. And then. And even though I've left it alone, I don't even think about it until somebody asked me about it. Yeah. Even with that. Whatever him and Kevin did is beautiful, you know, but, like, people can see my track record. My track record is always. If I have a problem, I rather solve the problem. If somebody see the problem publicly, then the resolve is gonna be publicly as well fail. I don't have a problem resolving anything. That's a part of manhood.
D
Yeah.
A
I'm saying you're not always right. And sometimes you do something you offensive to somebody, and then you. You make. You do what you do, make it right. I'm saying that's just. That's street code. That's life code. That's. That's whatever religion you are, you make things right. I'm saying. And it doesn't take away from who you are as a person. Right. I don't have no problem with making something right. It's in life, you're gonna have to do that.
D
Yeah, for sure.
A
You know what I'm saying? But when you don't take accountability, or you. Or you don't think that you wrong in an instance, say, once again, my mind thought is this. I don't even know if she knew could have been her bodyguard. Right. You know what I'm saying? Me saying what I say still doesn't not allow you to make it. It right. Right. You know what I'm saying? So sometimes you do something or you say something or something happens. When it's on your watch. Yeah, when it's on your watch, you are responsible for it. And that's just manhood. That's just being human. If something happens on my watch, man, I remember it was a. It was a money situation, and Dre came to me and told me about it, and I said this what we do. Pay it no trip.
D
Right?
A
Let's pay it now. We paid it and we good. Right? So when that person double backs around to need something from me. I never said that. I don't deal with you no more. Right. We just. It was. It was more of a you. It's like what my. My. My uncle used to say, man, you pay for peace.
C
Yeah.
A
I don't need nobody talking about this, that, and the third with no money with me. Yeah.
D
Right.
A
We cool.
D
Right?
A
Right. But I know where we stand at from this point. Right? But it's never a problem.
D
Yeah.
A
When it. When. If I say, nah, we ain't paying him. Nah, we ain't paying him. I'm inviting the problem. I want the problem. Right?
D
Yeah.
A
Cause I'm standing on integrity. I'm not paying you with this. If I decide that I'm not gonna pay for the piece.
D
You invite everything else.
A
I'm inviting everything.
E
The conflict.
D
That's a fact.
A
I don't need. No, I don't. Man. We. A Dude owed me 15 on it before, and I said, keep it. And some people called me that know both of us, and they say, yo, you want me to get that bread for you? Cause I ain't like, how it even being said. No, we good. And my we good speaks a lot more volumes than somebody else's. Be good, cuz my we good is. That's how much I paid never to deal with you again.
D
Yes.
E
Adri O, Bronx tail.
A
Yeah. You know what I'm saying?
E
Owing $20. You like them?
D
No.
E
You got them out your life for $20.
A
Yeah. Yeah. It's that simple. And so when it circled back around, no, we good. We still. We good.
D
We still good.
A
You know what I'm saying? And if something. If. If I could stop something from happening.
D
Right.
A
I'm good. Yeah. My problem no more. I don't have to deal with you.
E
Yeah.
A
If, man, we. We fine, bro.
D
Yeah.
A
If you think $1,500 is gonna. Is worth. You already showed me that me and you not friends.
D
Yeah.
E
Yeah.
D
Don't worry about it.
A
No. Don't worry about it.
C
Yeah.
E
Yeah.
A
I got you it. Pay for peace. I know I don't have a jovial personality around strangers. Yeah. That's why I know a roast would be crazy for me with strangers. I'd be on that roast. I'm telling you, it'd be all right.
E
Yeah.
A
All you would hear is like, it'll be so many sound bites of. Hey, did you see when such said something and that fool said bet?
D
Yeah.
A
I'm thinking I'm taking all Type of mental. Know. Yeah, yeah. That's where we had Tony Hcliff. Okay. Word, word, word. And then. And I. And I know Tony, like, Tony Hif is a crazy man. Yeah. So whatever he said. I know he's. It's crazy. I. I know it's crazy because I've been on this show. Kill Tony.
E
Yeah.
A
Multiple times. So I know whatever he said was absolutely insane. He was funny because Tony. I've been in the green room. When Tony walks in the green room. I'm at the Mothership, and Tony's a. About your people out there. I said, you. You. You are so racist.
E
Like, I don't know if it's a bit. With Tony anymore.
A
Tony, you.
E
Before, I used to think it was a bit. I don't think it's a bit.
A
You are so tremendously racist. It is crazy. Like, you're the craziest racist person I ever know. And I said, I don't even know what you mean by my people, because it's all white out there. It's all white, but the way you said it. And then I was on the show with Doug Williams. Doug does movies. And it's me and Burt. Burt Kreisler. And Burt was saying the story. He's like, yo, so you know, I did Backface when it was cool. And I'm the only black person. I looked down. I said, when the hell was blackface cool, Burt, can you give me the year? He was like. Like in college. It wasn't cool then. Fucking racist. Like, what? He's like, no, Ali. I'm just saying. I said, no, it wasn't
E
Bert.
D
When it was cool.
A
It was not. You know something? I'm not talking to you for the rest of the show. And Bert was like, ali, listen. Like. Cause we. And we. People apart. I'm like, no, I'm not talking to you. Because black lady was never cool. Yeah. You know what I'm saying? Klansmen. It's like. But I know Bird is not racist, but he. He's insane in his mind. Yeah. And he told me this story about when he. How they got out of paying this tab.
E
Tracy Morgan. Yes, Tracy Morgan. Yeah.
A
And he's nuts.
E
That was at Madame X, which is, like, down the block.
A
And you see why he's nuts. Yeah. I'm saying, like, he was involved. Like, I've been to his house. It was. Viola is premier. I know he's not racist, but he will say things. Yeah. And just out of just saying it. Yeah. I remember when I did blackface when it Was cool. I was like, you are. You're a looney Tune. And. And they. And. And nobody expects me not to say nothing. Like, they not gonna sit there. Like, I'm not gonna sit there and be like, oh, okay. Yeah. Like, it's no way that I could have said through Ricky Jarvae and Chris Rock.
E
Oh, and the Louis CK and Seinfeld.
A
Yeah. There's no way I could have said through that. Like, it's no way I could have said through. And I know I would have been right by what I would have did. Cause Seinfeld was like this. Seinfeld was like. Ricky was like, you know what it is? And he's like, no, no, no. Best friend's black.
D
Yeah.
A
No. Not doing. George Wallace is his best friend.
D
Yeah.
A
And he was like. He would have been like, no, nobody. Because that's his face. And I would have been like, yo, from the first one slap in the mouth. Cause you ever notice this because it was a big debate about Hispanics saying it and rapping and do. And this. It's guys who I don't rock with because they say it and they rapping. But you not of the culture. I don't care how much you around and all the rest of that. And this is my. This is my number one, one example. Paul wow. Has never said it. Yeah.
D
Yeah.
A
And not one rap song ever in life. Never.
E
They would never got away with it.
A
You know what I'm saying? Bill Burr,
E
it's definitely the newer generation of comics have brought that in.
A
Yeah.
E
Cause like, Bill was around Patrice and like, just thinking.
A
And so this is a. Because who you're around is that you give the respect to.
D
Right, Right.
A
You know what I'm saying? And a massive majority of them, they would never say it around Farrakhan, say it around Roland Martin. So you isolate you. You picking and choosing, picking and choosing who you standing around. You know what I'm saying? And it's because you don't respect the people that you're around. You know what I'm saying? Like Paul Wall. I've listened to Paul wow since he first started rapping with Chamillionaire when they was color changing. Click. He has never said. I'm talking about when they was on the amateur level, when he was still working at Papado's. Coming to this club called Just Joking when I was hosting the. The open mic, you know what I'm saying? And our old mic was crazy. It's like an Apollo Night on Thursday where everybody was doing everything. So he's Never said it then.
D
Right.
A
And so these. These new guys with this coach, you just be sitting back like, you do know that that's not going to fly with people of another generation. Yeah. Because my uncle, which is who is slavery strong, is going to choke you, and I'm not going to stop him. Right? Yeah. And it's like a. This is like being choked by a silverback. Like. Yeah, yeah. When you see this thick, black African
D
hand, like an iron skillet.
E
Yeah.
A
I was about come across somebody who can go and get a cast iron skillet out of an oven with no mitts and he choke you and he trying to close his hand. He's trying to close his hand all the way with his fingers. Touch. Yeah. Hey, man, you ain't gonna get. You can pull your gun out, but you're gonna still be. It's gonna. You'll be imposed because you getting choked by African arm.
D
Yeah.
A
Like that. I've never even. The only time I've ever thought somebody could knock me out is when I went to go slaughter. Go like, eat out hot. It's coming up in like eight days, seven days. When I went to go start something, I went to go get a gun goat for the first time. And I picked a small one. I'm like, I take that small right there. And this African guy just reached down and grabbed a huge goat. And he's holding it by his back leg and his arm is not even moving. And the goat is trying to get away. He got three legs. He's using three legs. The animal that's like almost 200 pounds, he's trying to get away, and he's just talking to me like. So, yeah. What you want me to put. Put him. And I was. And. And the only thing coming across my. If he decided to hit me in my jaw, even if I see it coming, I can brace for it. He's going to. He's. He's gonna do like when on Bugs Wayne, when Don get shot and his. The jaw would go around. My jaw is gonna be somewhere back here because he. He's holding an animal.
D
Yeah.
A
With. With his. And it's this all that's happening. Like.
D
Yeah.
A
So. So what do you want to be. To put. Like. I. I don't want you to do nothing with him. I. I want you to put him down.
D
Let him go.
A
That's. I asked for Bambi over there. I asked for this little bitty. Haven't lived that much life. Yeah. I want the view.
E
Yeah.
A
Yeah, man. Y' all can see. Y' all can get me on al.comall all things.
D
We want to thank you for coming by.
E
Really appreciate it.
D
I gotta catch you when you in New York. I gotta catch one of your sets in New York, man. Definitely come through and check you out. It's a pleasure to finally meet you. Been watching all of these stars.
A
You stars don't be coming man. I don't have that type of. You know when they, when you see other comics, they especially you see all these stars back in there. It just be me and my phone.
D
I'mma coming to see you in New York. I'mma check, I'mma check the tour dates. I'mma definitely come see you in New York. Alisa deek.com we appreciate you for coming by my brother and we'll see you soon.
A
Soon.
D
I'm that nigga. He's just J.J. that's Ali Sediq.
C
Hi, it's Colin Coward from the Colin Coward Podcast.
D
All right.
C
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A
This is an iHeart podcast. Guaranteed Human.
Release Date: June 11, 2026
Guest: Ali Siddiq
In this episode, Rory and Maul welcome Houston comedy legend Ali Siddiq to the studio for a freewheeling, insightful, and often hilarious discussion. The conversation ranges from parenting, stand-up comedy, and independence in the entertainment industry to personal reflections on street life, prison, and authenticity. The episode is a masterclass in storytelling, packed with realness, hard-won wisdom, and plenty of laughs.
“You’ve been watching for a long time. I appreciate that.” — Ali ([05:03])
“When you telling stories, you’re just telling the story… I just needed to clinically get it off me by saying it aloud.” — Ali ([07:07])
“I tell people all the time, I don’t check in. I get checked on.” — Ali ([11:36])
Wealth and Survival
Dirty Money Stories
“Put $30,000 in fives, tens, and twenties in a pillowcase… try to run down the street with it.” — Ali ([13:35])
Children’s Privilege Contrast
“I can’t think of nothing… that my mama spend $1,000 on us combined.” — Ali ([15:19])
Iconic Storytelling: "Mexicans Got On Boots"
“That means we gonna stab a bunch of Black dudes on the rec yard.” — Ali ([26:34])
“Didn’t watch it.” — Ali ([56:09]) “This is a Hollywood thing. This is a TV show. This is not a roast.” — Ali ([56:47])
“Now you can’t say nothing about me and I don’t know you.” — Ali ([61:16])
“It’ll be a lot of height. I be like, all right, word… bet that.” — Ali ([61:49])
“You want to own your own catalog, you want to own your own stuff.” — Ali ([45:05])
“Because you did a funny role in a movie does it make you a great stand up? Not a right.” — Ali ([66:36])
“If you say on site with the understanding that you’re never gonna be seen…” — Ali ([81:40])
“That’s how much I paid never to deal with you again.” — Ali ([94:01])
“You don’t have to write your life down. You can remember your life.” — Ali ([05:59])
“My mentality is different… at 50, like, hey man, you want to eat cake in the morning? Eat it, man.” ([08:44])
“Mexican got on boots. I don’t know what this mean at all.” — Ali ([26:34])
“If I’m getting roasted and I look on the panel, there’s a bunch of people that I don’t have no real relationships with… I can’t say what you would or would not do.” ([57:25])
“My kids, I have total control of my whole entire catalog.” — Ali ([45:45])
“$400,000 in lights… And we just talking about lights. Nothing else.” ([48:22])
“My we good speaks a lot more volumes than somebody else’s be good, cause my we good is… that’s how much I paid never to deal with you again.” ([94:01])
“You pay for peace.” ([92:41])
“Paul Wall has never said it. Not one rap song ever in life. Never.” ([98:53])
“My uncle, which is who is slavery strong, is going to choke you, and I’m not going to stop him.” ([100:00])
| Timestamp | Segment/Topic | |------------|-----------------------------------------------------------| | 03:27 | Intro, Ali Siddiq's background and comedy legacy | | 05:47 | Approach to storytelling, authenticity in specials | | 08:44 | Differences between parenting experiences | | 09:24 | How environment shapes family life | | 12:39 | The transition from ‘street rich’ to legitimate wealth | | 13:35 | The realities of street money; dirty money stories | | 26:23 | Iconic “Mexicans Got On Boots” story, Comedy Central era | | 45:05 | The importance of independence & owning your catalog | | 56:09 | Ali’s take on the Kevin Hart Netflix Roast | | 61:13 | Why real roasts require real relationships and intimacy | | 68:32 | The Fantasia incident and lessons on artist responsibility| | 81:03 | Update on Katt Williams situation and boundaries | | 92:41 | “Pay for peace;” standing on integrity | | 98:53 | On race, respect, and using “the word” in hip hop/comedy |
Ali Siddiq’s appearance is rich with humor, wisdom, and no-nonsense takes on comedy, manhood, and the industry. He embodies authenticity: from telling stories straight from lived experience to emphasizing independence and honoring relationships. His skepticism toward Hollywood “roasts,” insistence on real connections, and deep understanding of street and stage dynamics provide listeners a window into the code by which he operates—in art and in life.
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