Episode 509 | Kidney Beans & Applesauce

Summary

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New Rory & MAL – Episode 509: "Kidney Beans & Applesauce"

Release Date: June 19, 2026
Hosts: Rory, Mal, Damaris, Baby D (with guest appearances from Ryan, Jeff T., Cal Penn)

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Episode Overview

This hilariously wide-ranging episode of New Rory & MAL embodies the show’s signature chaotic energy, blending food debates, New York pride, social commentary, and the crew’s irreverent hot takes. Centered on the aftermath of the Knicks’ championship parade in NYC, the discussion zips between topics like weird food pairings (yes, the infamous pork chops with applesauce debate), absurd hypothetical questions (would you rather have 1,000 roaches or a squatter in your attic?), online boycotts, social responsibility, and deeply unserious hypotheticals about parenthood.

The group keeps the banter light and playful, even when approaching heavier topics, while upholding the self-aware and unfiltered tone fans have come to expect.

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Key Segments & Discussion Points

1. Weird Food Combos: Kidney Beans, Applesauce, and Hot/Cold Issues

[04:04 – 09:00]

• Mal kicks off by admitting his love for a side Caesar salad with spaghetti, leading to:
• Damaris confesses she gets nauseous eating hot and cold foods together:

  “If I'm eating hot food and I try to eat a salad right after that, I'll throw up. I’m dead serious.” (04:14 – Damaris)

• The group debates classic soul food plates—Damaris cannot do baked beans next to cold macaroni salad (“I can't do it”) (04:37).
• The infamous "pork chops and applesauce" tradition resurfaces:

  “Pork chops with applesauce is fire.” (05:16 – Mal) “It's like peanut butter and jelly for whites.” (05:28 – Baby D)

• Heated debate on room-temp vs. cold applesauce and the etiquette of mixing it with hot fried pork chops:

  “You want cold applesauce on the side? Y’all are fucking terrorists. There’s no way.” (06:02 – Damaris, exasperated)

• Damaris briefly defends putting banana on spaghetti—a Filipino-inspired food combo—shocking the crew.

  “Just trust me when I tell you ... I tried it. It wasn't bad.” (08:10 – Damaris)

2. Attic Nightmares: 1,000 Roaches or a Squatter?

[10:00 – 15:00]

• Mal pitches a viral hypothetical:

  “Would you rather discover in your attic a thousand roaches living there or one human being?” (10:01 – Mal)

  • The crew strongly prefers roaches (“Give me a thousand roaches”) over a mysterious squatter.
  • They riff on the existential dread/conversation with a squatter vs. the logistics of extermination.
  • Discussion spirals into stories about finding roaches as a child and how perceptions differ depending on geography and upbringing.

  “You ever seen a person that saw a roach, the first roach in their house?... They call the realtor, they go crazy.” (12:47 – Damaris)

3. Bug Chronicles: Bedbugs, Fleas, Water Bugs, and Cicadas

[15:20 – 20:25]

• Stories of battling water bugs in NYC apartments, bedbug outbreaks, and childhood trauma.
• They reminisce about the 2004 cicada invasion in Maryland.
• Deep dive into the ecological purpose of cicadas:

  “CS are vital to ecosystems... serve as a massive food source for wildlife, aerate soil ... fertilize decomposing bodies, act as a rich organic fertilizer for forest and plant life.” (19:52 – Damaris reading AI info)

• The thread ends with jokes about urban nature and animal cycles.

4. NYC Architecture and the Knicks’ Victory Parade

[20:25 – 32:00]

• Nostalgia for old New York brownstones and the “loss of character” in new architecture.
• Mixed feelings about the scale, tradition, and routes of victory parades:

  "Why don't we extend it a little bit? ... Don't give us the standard. Take the O'Brien trophy around the five boroughs." (26:13 – Damaris)

• Reflection on the NBA’s massive parade, with the hosts noting that “the city is electric” after decades without a Knicks championship.

5. Pause Culture, NYC Language, and Homophobia Accusations

[38:19 – 47:02]

• The group gleefully unpacks the infamous ‘pause’ discourse in NYC, referencing Spike Lee's classic “I like Frank, I like Dick… pause” on Knicks broadcasts.
• They address criticism that ‘pause’ is childish, with a spirited defense:

  “Pause is the epitome of New York... it's not homophobic, it's just funny.” (40:45 – Baby D & Damaris)

• Spirals into (mock) arguments (“I’m the least homophobic!”) and poll disputes.

  “Even though Damaris is part of that community, I think she's more homophobic than I am.” (43:37 – Baby D)

6. Vinyl Boycotts, Jay Z, Target, and Online Activism

[57:08 – 65:03]

• Hot take segment on the controversy around Jay Z’s Target vinyl release amid DEI (Diversity, Equity, Inclusion) rollbacks.
  • Mal and Baby D are skeptical about performative online boycotts:

    "There is no boycott on Target." (59:07 – Damaris) “People see headlines and take it as fact... tweets as a source. That's not real information.” (58:21 – Mal)

• They praise Jay Z’s philanthropic work and note the selective outrage fans have for capitalists.
• The discussion is punctuated with self-awareness on how little online discourse matters in tangible reality.

7. Parenting Hypotheticals: IVF, Abortion, and the "Ugly Baby" Debate

[69:09 – 81:16]

• A much darker/hotter segment focuses on viral influencer couples aborting after Down Syndrome diagnosis, raising ethical questions.

  “That’s their decision as a couple. What they decide to do with their fetus ... it’s her choice.” (70:54 – Damaris)

• Tangents on IVF mix-ups and, with comedic bravado, whether they'd raise another couple’s baby if embryos got swapped:

  “If it ain't my kid, take it back. Take it back.” (92:33 – Damaris)

• Playful (sometimes biting) jokes about whether two attractive people can have ugly kids.

  “I've never seen two unattractive people, two attractive people have an unattractive kid.” (76:05 – Damaris)

8. Parenting, Father's Day & What Dads Want

[93:06 – 99:00]

• Banter about underappreciated Father’s Day compared to Mother’s Day.
• Reflections on what their own dads want (food, family, beer, not brunch).

  “My dad is an old, grumpy man... If I was to take him to some extravagant brunch... he would hate it!” (96:22 – Mal)

9. Voicemails & Cheating Accusations

[106:24 – 113:40]

• Listener voicemail: What do you do when your partner constantly accuses you of cheating with no evidence?
  • Strong advice to leave anyone who is chronically accusatory.

  “If you're gonna stay [after you cheated], you gotta hold that down... but I'm not on trial every day.” (112:37 – Damaris)

10. Spiraling Hot Takes: From Make-A-Wish Kids’ Real Wishes to Serial Killer Babies

[99:00 – End]

• Completely unserious sequence riffing on what dying teens really want from the Make-A-Wish Foundation (hint: not athletes), landing on “if you knew your future kid would be a serial killer, would you abort?” and "would you keep a child with no limbs?"
• Pure wild-style humor, not to be taken seriously—hosts gleefully tiptoe and stomp over lines.

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Notable Quotes & Moments

• On food taboos:

  "You want cold applesauce on the side? Y’'all are fucking terrorists." (06:02 – Damaris)

• On urban horror:

  "It’s easier to get rid of a thousand roaches than it is a squatter in New York City." (11:22 – Mal)

• On activism and online outrage:

  "People see headlines people see and take it as fact. Tweets as a source. That’s not real information." (58:21 – Mal)

• On defending 'pause':

  “Pause is the epitome of New York... it's not homophobic, it's just funny.” (40:47 – Baby D & Damaris)

• On deadbeat dads and absentee parenting:

  "Spending Father's Day with your kids is for absentee fathers." (98:02 – Baby D)

• On ethical quandaries:

  "That’s their decision as a couple... It’s her choice." (70:54 – Damaris, on Down Syndrome/abortion controversy)

• On ugly babies:

  "I've never seen two unattractive people, two attractive people have an unattractive kid." (76:05 – Damaris)

• On the Make-A-Wish Foundation:

  “If I was dying cancer at 16 and y'all bought Karl Anthony Towns to my bed, I would shoot up the whole ward.” (101:40 – Damaris)

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Timestamps for Key Segments

• Food debates (Caesar & applesauce, spaghetti & banana): 04:04 – 09:00
• Roaches vs. attic squatter: 10:00 – 15:00
• Bugs and bedbugs in NYC: 15:20 – 20:25
• Parade/nature/architecture: 20:25 – 32:00
• 'Pause' culture and NYCisms: 38:19 – 47:02
• Jay Z/Target/online activism: 57:08 – 65:03
• IVF and raising other people’s kids: 87:22 – 92:33
• Ugly babies and genetics: 73:46 – 80:00
• Voicemail & cheating accusations: 106:24 – 113:40

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Final Thoughts

Episode 509 is classic New Rory & MAL: uncensored, rapid-fire, maturely immature, and (almost) always self-aware. Jokes and hot takes about food, bugs, gentrification, pop culture, activism, and controversial hypotheticals are interwoven with sincere—if momentary—reflections on city life, Blackness, family, and responsibility. If you appreciate wild sidetracks and conversations you wouldn’t hear anywhere else, this episode is must-listen.

Transcript

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[Jeff T]

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[Damaris]

up a [e-mail] XPS

[Baby D]

this episode is sponsored by BetterHelp. Summer is about to be here and for some it's their favorite season. But sometimes it can be overwhelming for a lot of people. They have to juggle. They have to things with their kids not being in school, people want to go on trips. It can be a lot. So this summer, please take care of yourself. And the best way to do that is talking with a therapist and figuring out your needs for the summer while you juggle everything that happens when that season comes. BetterHelp therapists work according to a strict code of conduct and are fully licensed in the US with over 30,000 therapists, BetterHelp is the world's largest online therapy platform, having served over 6 million people globally. And it works with an average rating of a 4.9 out of 5 stars for a live session based off 1.7 million client reviews. Create a version of summer that actually feels good. You don't have to say yes to everything this summer. Find support and therapy. Sign up and get 10% [e-mail] Rorymal that's better. H E L P.com Rorymol hey, everyone,

[Cal Penn]

it's Cal Penn, host of Irsay, The Audible, and iHeart Audiobook Club. This week on the podcast, I'm sitting with Wil Wheaton, who played Gordie Lachance in stand by me 40 years ago and now narrates Stephen King's the Body, the novella that inspired it all. We talk about what it's like to return to a story that shaped his life, channeling his memories of River Phoenix in the recording booth, and why the friendships you have at 12 might be the most important ones you'll ever have. I know Gordie Lachance. I am Gordy Lachance.

[Baby D]

Like, I mean, even when I was a little kid, I was Gordy la Chance when I didn't know it.

[Cal Penn]

Listen to Earsay the Audible and iHeart Audiobook Club on the iHeartradio app or wherever you get your podcasts.

[Mal]

No warrior now,

[Damaris]

Conductor?

[Ryan]

No,

[Baby D]

No.

[Mal]

It's busting. But I, you know, I like a nice little size size Caesar with my spaghetti Caesar salad.

[Damaris]

Yeah, I can't eat hot and cold.

[Mal]

Really?

[Damaris]

I get nauseous. I'll throw up immediately. Like, if I'm eating hot food and I try to eat a salad right after that, I'll throw up. I'm dead serious. And I didn't notice it until I was like, maybe 16. Like, I'm like, oh, I'm eating food and then trying to eat the salad after I eat hot food.

[Mal]

So you telling me you don't do the baked beans? Pj, you recording? Cause this is important. You telling me you don't do the baked beans next to the macaroni salad?

[Baby D]

I can't touch it.

[Damaris]

I can't eat hot and cold food together. I can't. I get nauseous. I cannot do it.

[Baby D]

That's cute.

[Damaris]

I cannot do it.

[Baby D]

Like, what about collard?

[Damaris]

Even the cranberry salad? Even cranberry salad has to be, like, room temperature. You can't give me no cranberry salad. Fresh out the fridge and I'm eating that shit with, like, cranberry sauce. Cranberry Sauce. It has to be room temp. Like, I literally will throw it now.

[Mal]

I want it.

[Baby D]

Are you a lukewarm applesauce guy?

[Damaris]

No. Applesauce, you eat cold.

[Baby D]

Okay, cool. But there's. There's psychopaths out there that like it hot.

[Damaris]

Yeah, but I'm not eating hot. Anything hot with applesauce.

[Baby D]

Pork chops. Well, you don't eat pork.

[Damaris]

Pork chops with applesauce.

[Baby D]

Peach. We're white. Come on. We know.

[Mal]

Yeah. No. Pork chops with applesauce is fire.

[Damaris]

Pork chops with applesauce.

[Mal]

Fire on the side. Applesauce on the fire. Applesauce on the side. Yes.

[Damaris]

Applesauce on the side of a pork

[Baby D]

chop is more common than you think.

[Mal]

It's more. It's really.

[Baby D]

It's like peanut butter and jelly for whites.

[Damaris]

Really?

[Mal]

It's busting too. I ain't gonna lie.

[Baby D]

It compliments each other.

[Damaris]

I feel like it's so much. I don't know about y', all, especially

[Mal]

with some gravy and applesauce goes well together.

[Damaris]

I'm gravy and applesauce not wrong.

[Jeff T]

Mm.

[Baby D]

Yeah, man.

[Mal]

It's a great palate. It tastes so good.

[Damaris]

No way. Y' all are eating like pit bulls, man. Apples. Is the applesauce cold?

[Baby D]

I prefer it cold, but some people like.

[Mal]

Some people like it hot. Some people like it like, warm fried pork chop.

[Damaris]

Fresh out the grease with gravy on it. You want cold applesauce on the side?

[Cal Penn]

Absolutely.

[Damaris]

Y' all are fucking terrorists. There's no way.

[Cal Penn]

Baby.

[Damaris]

Did you ate that before? Cold applesauce on the side of a fresh fried, hot pork chop.

[Baby D]

Yep.

[Mal]

With gravy. I gotta have gravy, though. Just fried, period. I don't know. But, like, smothered? Mm.

[Damaris]

Yeah, yeah. But to smother the boy, you gotta fry the pork chop first, then smother it.

[Mal]

Yes.

[Baby D]

Yeah, yeah.

[Mal]

Amazing. I'm telling you.

[Damaris]

Applesauce.

[Mal]

Mm.

[Cal Penn]

Wow.

[Baby D]

The room temperature.

[Mal]

The applesauce is better. Room temperature, but I like the cold and the.

[Damaris]

You say you have better palates.

[Baby D]

I said we have very mature pallets.

[Damaris]

No, you have a pit bull pallet. That's who's eating that.

[Mal]

A lot of people do.

[Damaris]

N. I said I thought I was going somewhere. When I said fried fish with spaghetti, I thought I was.

[Mal]

You mad, B. It's regular.

[Damaris]

Y' all took it to the apples sauce. And the pork chop.

[Mal]

It's good as too.

[Damaris]

And there's a picture of it.

[Mal]

Yeah.

[Cal Penn]

Exists.

[Mal]

It's a regular thing.

[Baby D]

If I can find you, like, A vegan pork chop or whatever version they do of that. Would you try some with applesauce?

[Damaris]

No, I can't eat nothing hot and cold together. I just. I can't.

[Mal]

Okay. What if the applesauce was hot? Cuz hot applesauce is really good room temp. Especially homemade applesauce.

[Damaris]

Hot applesauce?

[Baby D]

No.

[Damaris]

Well, that.

[Baby D]

All right, That's. That's terrorism.

[Mal]

That's there.

[Baby D]

That's.

[Mal]

That's.

[Baby D]

That's not what I'm talking about. I'm talking about just dipping a little bit of your pork chop in the applesauce.

[Damaris]

That gentleman is doing life. Whoever has that plate right there, he's incarcerated.

[Baby D]

But, yeah, that was an in process.

[Damaris]

Cranberry sauce. Cranberry apple. I guess it's kind of. Yeah, I could see it.

[Mal]

I guess it's the sweet with the savory. Like that flavor palette goes together.

[Damaris]

I asked y' all before, and y' all kind of looked at me like I was crazy. I never sliced up a banana on top of the spaghetti.

[Baby D]

No.

[Mal]

You know why you asked me that shit? You ain't asked me that, yo. I'd have called them people. Aren't you.

[Damaris]

Trust me when I tell you, like, just.

[Baby D]

Just spaghetti.

[Mal]

You'll try that, but won't try applesauce next to a pork chop.

[Baby D]

It's a thing we talk about, like, dry, raw spaghetti or like, it has

[Damaris]

tomato sauce or Filipino style. I'm telling you, fire.

[Baby D]

Ryan knows fire.

[Damaris]

Similar, baby. These similar to fried plantains. It's a sweet plantain. Similar. Kind of similar. You know what I'm saying? It's right there.

[Baby D]

But that was, like Bolognese, and there was a banana next to it. That's kind of crazy.

[Damaris]

A neighbor in my building growing up, he was Filipino and was at his crib and, you know, he was playing video games. His mom made some spaghetti, and she gave it to me with the banana. I was, like, looking at it, like, what? And I tried it. It wasn't bad. Well, that.

[Baby D]

With the soy. That looks like some type of soy base that I feel like would be good. But the Bolognese with the banana is crazy to me. That's nuts.

[Damaris]

It's not bad.

[Baby D]

That's crazy.

[Damaris]

It's not bad. It's not bad. That's all I'm gonna say. That's not crazy. But, I mean, I don't know. I just can't eat hot and cold. Hot and cold foods, I just can't do. It has to be at least room temperature for me to combine the Spaghetti and the banana.

[Baby D]

They got a banana spaghetti box right there.

[Damaris]

Yeah, I'm not doing that one. I don't know what that is.

[Baby D]

That's Ann Cameron.

[Damaris]

That's like. That's like. Like banana flavored spaghetti. Oh, it's a book. Okay.

[Mal]

Oh, that's cute. I got a question figure.

[Damaris]

I don't know, looking at. Looking at him on a cover, he kind of. Why they got him looking like that?

[Baby D]

Yeah, that's right.

[Damaris]

That's what. That's Curious George right there. Like, what's going on?

[Mal]

That's racist as far.

[Damaris]

Can we pull up a picture of Curious George and put it right next to Ann Cameron?

[Baby D]

Let's pull up a picture of Ann Cameron and see what she looks like.

[Damaris]

Like, this is.

[Baby D]

Get to the bottom of this book.

[Damaris]

Yeah. This is crazy to have homie looking like that. And, and, and. Come on, man.

[Jeff T]

All right.

[Damaris]

Don't worry, Ryan. We'll get you together.

[Mal]

She grew up in the 1940s and 1950s in a Midwestern town. Yeah, I know what she.

[Baby D]

Oh, my God. Yeah, that's an Cameron.

[Damaris]

Now pull up Curious George.

[Baby D]

You don't think she meant well with that cover?

[Damaris]

I'm just saying. Just pull up a picture of Curious George is all I'm saying.

[Baby D]

Pete, can you make me and Cameron for the. The artwork today look at Curious?

[Mal]

There's no way she didn't get blowback for that.

[Damaris]

Now go back to the banana spaghetti picture.

[Baby D]

What year did that come out? She probably got an award.

[Damaris]

Come on, fam.

[Baby D]

The Ann Cameron photo is what I'm laughing now.

[Damaris]

Come on, dog.

[Baby D]

No, it's crazy.

[Mal]

I had a question.

[Baby D]

Hills have eyes. It's definitely, definitely didn't mean well in that.

[Mal]

Yeah, I had a question.

[Cal Penn]

Shoot, baby.

[Damaris]

They shoot.

[Mal]

Would you rather discover in your attic? I saw this online and I judge people for their answers. Would you rather discover in your attic a thousand roaches living there or one human being?

[Damaris]

A thousand roaches?

[Baby D]

Is a human being alive?

[Mal]

That's what I said.

[Damaris]

Either way, niggas is dying, the roaches is dead and whoever. So it's either gonna be RAID or ak.

[Mal]

How do you motherfucker, been living in your attic?

[Baby D]

One person or a thousand roaches and they're alive?

[Mal]

Yes.

[Damaris]

A thousand roaches are like running around.

[Mal]

A thousand roaches running around or one human. I take a thousand roaches.

[Baby D]

Yeah. I kind of feel like that's an easy pick.

[Damaris]

Yeah, give me a thousand roaches.

[Baby D]

And are the roaches minding their business or they're finding their way to the kitchen?

[Mal]

You just. You just happen to go up in the attic and discover them. They've been there.

[Baby D]

Oh, yeah. And you could just call somebody and. Yeah, that's fine.

[Mal]

I asked this dude and he said, oh, the human. I said, what? He was like, that ain't been bothering me. I said, all right, okay, cool.

[Damaris]

No, a human.

[Mal]

A human.

[Baby D]

But like, how do you even have that conversation? And what happens when you lose the squatter case? And now you just know they up there.

[Boost Mobile Announcer]

Yeah.

[Damaris]

Now they up there and they making mad noise.

[Baby D]

Now I could get exterminated with a run.

[Damaris]

They were being quiet. They was tiptoeing. You tried to get them thrown out. Squatters, Right. So they could stay there. Now they up there making mad. No, they inviting homies over. Yeah, yeah. Now give me a thousand roaches. It's easier to get rid of a thousand roaches than it is.

[Mal]

Then it is a squatter in New York City.

[Damaris]

One million.

[Baby D]

And like, how does that conversation start? When you open the attic door and it's a person, who are you? Like roaches, you freak out, close the. And immediately call.

[Damaris]

Yeah, you go get one of them smoke bomb, though.

[Baby D]

Yeah.

[Damaris]

Little roach bombs. Throw that up there.

[Baby D]

Fuming place. Yeah.

[Damaris]

Kill them all. Go up there, get the vacuum, clean them all up. You know what I'm saying? Something like that.

[Baby D]

But what if somebody like, ew. I wouldn't know what my. My initial reaction was like, yeah.

[Damaris]

He looking at you like you a stranger. He in your house. Yeah. Nah. Give me a thousand.

[Baby D]

How long have I lived here, too? You.

[Mal]

You've probably lived there for 10 years. But the human's only been there. The human. And the roach has only been there for a year.

[Baby D]

Okay, so I've been up in my attic and there wasn't a human there the last time.

[Mal]

No.

[Baby D]

Yeah, that. Now, fuck that.

[Damaris]

But that wouldn't happen because I thought

[Baby D]

that you'd get up here.

[Damaris]

If you buying a house, you go look in the attic, right?

[Jeff T]

Yeah.

[Mal]

No, they snuck in there while you were gone. Like the roaches.

[Damaris]

No, roaches don't sneak in. They was there before you got there.

[Cal Penn]

Yeah.

[Damaris]

Let me tell you how roaches work, baby. They don't sneak in. They was there. But when you moved in, then you just didn't see them. They ain't sneaking in.

[Ryan]

Yeah.

[Baby D]

You didn't seem to turn the light on, and then they scattered.

[Damaris]

Yeah. And you never realize how many people don't have roaches. You know how many people don't have roaches. Like, have never had a roach in their House.

[Baby D]

I mean, depending on where you grow up.

[Damaris]

That's what I'm saying.

[Mal]

I'm sure a lot of people don't have roaches.

[Damaris]

Yeah, like, that's like, you know, people like freak out if they see a roach in their house.

[Baby D]

Like, they're like, you know, you roaches are. I mean, it's more city if you're like in the burbs. You don't just have roaches like that.

[Damaris]

That's what I'm saying.

[Baby D]

You have like ants and like other bugs.

[Damaris]

But that's what I'm saying. Like, you ever seen a person that saw a roach, the first roach in their house? Like you was ever with your mans and like, he got a nice house and he saw his first roach. Oh, he go crazy. He calling the realtor. He called it, bro. Back when I. Roaches never like, for one roach. Like, yo, when I was living.

[Mal]

When I was. Back when I was living with my parents when I was younger, like. And the first time I seen a roach, I lost my fucking mind. But it was because the house next door to us had roaches.

[Damaris]

Ye.

[Mal]

And they fumigate that one.

[Damaris]

People love that one. They fumigate neighbors. No, it'd be you too, though.

[Baby D]

No, but now in a building though, you could be super clean and whoever is living next to you, that's 100.

[Cal Penn]

Yeah.

[Damaris]

Bedbugs is different.

[Baby D]

Oh my God.

[Damaris]

Yeah. They'll tell you in your building. Like, if somebody found.

[Baby D]

Oh, they did.

[Boost Mobile Announcer]

And.

[Baby D]

And I. I saw it.

[Cal Penn]

Yeah.

[Damaris]

Bedbugs is a whole different thing. I, I never want to find a bedbug. I find a bedbug, I'm moving out for sure.

[Baby D]

Oh, no. I do put like all my shit in vacuum sealed bags and. Yeah, they just had to bomb my apartment building.

[Damaris]

But what if they was inside the vacuum sealed bag and they, they survived the fallout?

[Baby D]

I never thought about that.

[Mal]

They survived the fallout.

[Damaris]

Yeah.

[Mal]

Like you.

[Baby D]

Maybe they've been holding. Because this is like 2012. Maybe they've been holding out for 10 years.

[Mal]

Survived the fallout.

[Damaris]

Well, we survived the fallout. Sticking aside the vacuum seal back. Yeah, the bedbugs.

[Jeff T]

Yeah.

[Baby D]

I'm telling you.

[Damaris]

But we survived the fallout.

[Baby D]

If there's. If anyone's gonna survive, it's gonna be a bedbug or a roach.

[Damaris]

Yeah, they survived.

[Baby D]

But you should have seen outside, right? On Bergen Ave. Outside my building, these stacks of mattresses from my building. And you could see the bedbugs on the mattresses. Like it was. It was crazy.

[Damaris]

That is wild.

[Baby D]

It was not a fun, fun week. To say trying to get rid of fleas. I've never. Oh, I've had dogs and I've never, never had a fleece. You still got fleas is the worst.

[Mal]

Yeah, my dog caught fleas from a. Riding around with some other dogs. Boy, you start getting them bite. You're like, what the fuck is this? And you can see them. Like, when you find. You can see them, like, jump. Like, you can see the. Oh, my God, you're not a dog.

[Damaris]

Gotta go.

[Mal]

No, the dog we had. We just had to bomb the dog.

[Damaris]

Gotta go.

[Mal]

Because you could take your dog to get a million flea baths, but they like, yo, if it keeps coming back with fleas, there's fleas in your house. You have to bomb your house. And so take the daughter, get a flea bag, bomb the house. It was a thing. The whole thing.

[Boost Mobile Announcer]

No, that.

[Baby D]

That bed bug. Like I said, that might have been one of the worst weeks of my entire life, because then I was just, like, walking around feeling like they was on me even when I was outside. Like. Yeah, it was. It was just all I was. Yeah. On the path train like this and

[Damaris]

like, like, like, not Tourette's. Bedbugs. You got to tell people when it's not snacks, it's bedbugs.

[Baby D]

It was giving me a dollar.

[Damaris]

Yeah, I have bedbugs. It's not Tourette's.

[Baby D]

No. Roaches. Of course, I don't like roaches, but they never bother me much. Water bugs are like my. My biggest fear. My freshman year, they had, like, the community showers. Like, it wasn't a bathroom in your room that first week. I turn around, look at the. The curtain. That water bug. Oh, that lab. I ran out of that butt ass naked with shampoo in my hair. Yeah, water bugs, bro.

[Mal]

Yo, that's just so hard.

[Baby D]

Water bugs are different. They're just like roaches on steroids with. With wings.

[Damaris]

Yeah, big roaches.

[Baby D]

Fuck water bugs, bro. I. I can some roaches. I put the little trap in the same draw that I keep my soy sauce. I don't. I know where they're gonna be. I know where they're at every time. The water bugs. Yeah, they be climbing up your fucking sour shit.

[Boost Mobile Announcer]

Ugh.

[Damaris]

Nah, from the faucet.

[Mal]

I had one of them Chinese bugs with the red shit on it.

[Baby D]

Oh, and they infested like, three years ago.

[Mal]

Yeah, I had one of them. One was in my house the other day.

[Baby D]

Oh, no, no. I saw one already this year.

[Damaris]

But they used to be heavy. Like around spring, summer, though, like 20, 21.

[Baby D]

They went nuts.

[Damaris]

It was crazy. It's not that bad anymore. Like, you'll see a handful of them, like here and there, but them are smart.

[Mal]

They smarter than regular bugs. I was in my house for an hour, fighting with them, chasing that motherfucker around my house, throwing shoes, cracking windows because I wanted it. It was big as fuck, but it don't.

[Damaris]

It ain't gonna do nothing.

[Mal]

It don't matter. You can't be flying around my. I have a small, small one bedroom damn near studio apartment. Your big ass not about to be flying around my fucking apartment.

[Baby D]

Like you gotta go on humans too. Like they, they just like plop on you.

[Mal]

Yeah, like you got, you got a though.

[Damaris]

Yeah, yeah, like they're like moths. There some little Ms.

[Mal]

They got to go.

[Baby D]

But I, I, I saw a couple already this year, but no, 20, 21, it was.

[Damaris]

Yeah, right after the pandemic.

[Baby D]

They were everywhere.

[Damaris]

The car, like, the cars was flooded with them. Like they just be on top of cars windshields. It was like, what it. The side of my building was flooded with them. Like they found like a little corner where they could just. And it would look like a. Like a, Like a hive.

[Baby D]

Yo, I'll tell you, when my dad was in Baltimore. Can we look up the, the locusts every So I think it must have

[Damaris]

been like, oh, three, maybe that's good.

[Baby D]

Oh no, maybe. 04, maybe.

[Damaris]

That's biblical, right?

[Baby D]

04. They come. Yeah, yeah, they come every 17 years. I may have did the year, I think it was around 04. And when I went down to stay with my pops for the summer, it was the 17th year. The. You think the little Chinese bugs is crazy?

[Ryan]

No, no, no, no.

[Baby D]

These. Oh my God.

[Damaris]

That's different. Everywhere you don't want to see.

[Baby D]

And then when we went out to like pg, when we weren't even. They were crazy. In the city. We went to PG county, you would. There would just be like balls of them flying together. You'd have to walk through to get into stores. Them things.

[Mal]

Oh, hell no. I'm cool.

[Damaris]

Yeah, that's biblical. That's the shit that's in the Bible. Like that. Yeah.

[Baby D]

No, and, and they, they lay eggs and the eggs take like 17 years to hatch. And every 17 years they hatch in Maryland and they fucking take over the state.

[Damaris]

But what do we need locusts for? Like, can we look up. What is the purpose of the locusts? Like, what do they do?

[Mal]

Like, can we exterminate them?

[Baby D]

Scare the citizens of Baltimore County?

[Damaris]

Interesting, because I'm pretty sure everything has Its purpose. Right, like, but what, what is the purpose of the locusts? Like, what do they do for the environment? They act as vital eco ecological links and opportunistic resource trackers. While famous for devastating swarms in their solitary state, they play a positive role by recycling nutrients, shaping plant ecosystems and acting as a crucial food source for birds, mammals and reptiles. Okay, all right, so they have.

[Baby D]

Okay, I have it wrong. Not locusts. Cicadas.

[Mal]

Cicadas.

[Baby D]

I wasn't talking about locuses. I was talking about cicadas. I had my bugs mixed up. Yes, the cicada. North America. 13 and 17 year cicadas. Like, it's a cycle where they take over.

[Mal]

Oh, they had a 2004 phenomenon, so.

[Cal Penn]

Four.

[Mal]

Yeah.

[Baby D]

All right. I was right. 2004. Crazy. Maryland was infested. There was more cicadas than people. It was the most terrifying summer of my entire life.

[Damaris]

The cicadas, do they have a.

[Baby D]

They don't. They can't hurt you. They're just fucking everywhere.

[Damaris]

What is the purpose of the cicada though?

[Baby D]

Ma wanna know why these terrified.

[Damaris]

But we just. I feel like I would respect the cicadas. Yeah. If I knew what they were doing for the environment. I don't know what these things.

[Mal]

Niggas around here, that ain't doing sh. For the environment.

[Damaris]

That's why we need to get them out of here. So if the cicadas ain't doing nothing, we need to get them out of here too.

[Baby D]

AI says their purpose is to survive and reproduce.

[Damaris]

CS are vital to ecosystems. At every stage of their life cycle, they serve as a massive food source for wildlife. Naturally till an aerate soul or underground soil. Underground. So they fertilize decomposing bodies, act as a rich organic fertilizer for forest and plant life.

[Baby D]

Okay, so every 17 years they terrify humans and then just die and give

[Damaris]

us fertilizer so the birds eat them. Okay, well, we need more birds.

[Cindy Crawford]

We need.

[Baby D]

Definitely need more birds.

[Damaris]

We need more of those.

[Baby D]

They were.

[Ryan]

Well, we got.

[Baby D]

Yeah, I'm having like cutting down the trees thinking about that shit.

[Damaris]

We need more birds.

[Mal]

We got to stop cutting down the trees so we can have more birds. Stop putting up luxury apartment buildings.

[Damaris]

Yeah, I hate it. I'm not going to lie. Like the luxury apartment buildings in New York, like the old architecture in New York is just like slowly vanishing. And I didn't notice until I was uptown the other day. And I'm looking, I'm like, I don't like this new architecture, man. I'm sorry. I Just don't. I know. It's easier and it's quicker to build buildings when you don't have to lay brick by brick, where you can just put up panels of glass and, you know, steel or whatever it is that they putting up. It just doesn't look like you see an old building from the fucking early 1900s in Harlem. Beautiful apartments, beautiful awnings and things like that. And then right next to it is glass and fucking. It's just like. It just doesn't look good.

[Baby D]

Yeah. I mean, as far as, like, Harlem and Brooklyn with brownstones, like, those are gorgeous.

[Damaris]

Oh, man.

[Baby D]

But American cities, like, forget the boroughs, like Manhattan, Midtown Manhattan, we've never, like, produced very beautiful cities like that. Architecture is not, like, our thing. New Orleans might be the only, like, pretty city we have.

[Damaris]

That's not true.

[Baby D]

Compared to, like, what they do in Japan, what they do in Paris, what

[Damaris]

they do in Italy, you go to some beautiful, like, Georgetown and D.C. compared

[Baby D]

to the rest of the world. No, we're not, like, the most beautiful place as far as architecture.

[Damaris]

Oh, no. I mean, I'm sure you go to other countries, the architecture is.

[Baby D]

You know, even London is more gorgeous.

[Damaris]

I mean, you go to a lot of different.

[Baby D]

Montreal is more beautiful than. Than what we have.

[Damaris]

There's a lot of beautiful architecture in Canada as well. But. Yeah, I mean, I just hate seeing it in the. In the. In the neighborhood I grew up in. Like, I just miss those old apartment buildings. That was huge. It felt like he was in a palace. When you go in the lobby.

[Baby D]

Yeah.

[Damaris]

You have the water fountain that never worked. You just always used to chill and sit on it at one point. That was a water fountain. Think about that. You have a water fountain in your building. In the hood. Just in the hood. So to see this new architecture is kind of like. I'm not really a fan of it, but I get it. You have to be able to build quicker and take less manpower and less money to kind of build these projects faster. So.

[Jeff T]

Yeah.

[Baby D]

And it. And it allows whatever company is doing it to have constant revenue.

[Damaris]

Or you gotta.

[Baby D]

You gotta pay to fix the. We made, like. Yeah, they're making them for cheap. And it's gonna keep a cycle of income coming because you have to fix

[Damaris]

the bullshit they made and to fix the bullshit. We are sponsored by Boost Mobile. Unlimited talk text and data.

[Baby D]

He was at the parade.

[Damaris]

Me?

[Baby D]

Yeah.

[Damaris]

No.

[Mal]

Ma said he wasn't going to that damn parade.

[Baby D]

I know, but I thought maybe, I don't know, he woke up inspired or something.

[Jeff T]

I Don't know.

[Damaris]

I'm happy the next one. But I definitely wasn't going nowhere near that parade, though.

[Baby D]

I was up around 8 o'. Clock.

[Damaris]

You went?

[Baby D]

No.

[Damaris]

Oh.

[Baby D]

I was up around 8 o' clock and I was considering what it looked like. I was even thinking about just taking the PATH train in right to World Trade Easy. But I even saw on Twitter they were shutting down, shutting down blocks at 8am so if you weren't there at 6am, it was kind of pointless to go. And the more I watched, I didn't have fomo. It looked like an incredible time. And I'm so happy for everyone that went, but I feel like I would have regretted going. It was too many people in one area. And I understand that the Champions shit, that that route is iconic, but why don't we extend it a little bit?

[Damaris]

Was that parade bigger? Cause I seen some pictures of the parade and I seen, you know, there's a lot of people. I don't know if it was more people there than when. What year was it that the. I think the Rangers won the Stanley cup with Messier. I don't know if it was more people at the Knicks parade than that. That ranges. That ranges hot. When they won that year, bro, that was the most people I've probably ever seen at a parade in my life. And I was anticipating this Knicks parade to be way more people than I saw. Like, it was a lot of people out there. But that Stanley Cup, I remember as a kid, I remember exactly how many people was in the city for that. That was insane. Now things were different as far as security measures and things like that. In 94. We know that. But yeah, I was just expecting it to be way more people at this Knicks parade.

[Baby D]

And I get the Canyon of Heroes, whatever the fuck they call that, that route that everyone does when you win a championship in New York. I just think that we can evolve and grow. We don't have to keep to certain traditions. Like, why couldn't that just go a few more blocks?

[Cal Penn]

Yeah,

[Baby D]

I get it. Battery Park, City hall, every Yankee team, Rangers, Islanders, Giants. Like, I get it. But it's a little different now.

[Damaris]

Yeah.

[Mal]

Yeah.

[Baby D]

The amount of fucking people that went to this parade.

[Damaris]

There was a lot of people out there.

[Baby D]

Like, every parade in New York, whether it be Puerto Rican, St. Patrick's Day, Pride Parade, everything is like all of 5th Avenue up to fucking 72nd Street.

[Mal]

Yeah.

[Baby D]

Knowing what this meant to the city, I think it would have been cooler for them to just extend it a bit. Like, all right, cool. We'll do the City hall thing and then maybe let's continue the parade or start at City hall and go uptown.

[Mal]

Yeah.

[Baby D]

Just so more people could. Because I saw that shit and yes, I cried. It's amazing. But I'm not sitting in that. That crowd to look at the back of somebody's head.

[Mal]

Yeah.

[Baby D]

So I can maybe catch a glimpse of Kat in a leather jacket in 80 degree weather.

[Cal Penn]

Like, I. Yeah.

[Damaris]

Why they don't.

[Baby D]

I'm just like, I'm just.

[Mal]

I don't.

[Baby D]

I. I love those guys and of course I wanted to be. It's also just being around the fans. I get it.

[Boost Mobile Announcer]

But.

[Baby D]

Nah, that. That would. I would have had a fucking anxiety.

[Damaris]

The Knicks was supposed to go the same route that Bad Bunny did when he came. When he went through New York. Like go uptown, go through Dyckman, go through Harlem, go to the Bronx. Like, do that. If y' all really going to show out as the next 53 years. We finally got one. Don't give us the standard.

[Baby D]

Do the New York City Marathon run start Staten Island.

[Damaris]

Bring them up Lennox Ave in Harlem. Take them to the Grand Concourse in the Bronx. Yeah, yeah, go to Dyckman, go down Broadway. Like do all of that. If you're gonna really have a parade in New York, don't give me the Manhattan. You know, that's. That's cool. But. Nah, take them. Take the o' Brien trophy around the five boroughs.

[Baby D]

Yeah.

[Damaris]

That's how they supposed to.

[Baby D]

I would. I would have preferred that. I get it.

[Damaris]

You ever route Bad Bunny when he was here, when he shot that? Go follow that same stand on top

[Baby D]

of that gas station he was at.

[Damaris]

Yeah, man. Really show out for the city one time, man, that might not ever see this again.

[Mal]

When I woke up and I saw that the train station was at a standstill.

[Damaris]

Yeah. See, that's when I would have saw that. I'm like. So I got caught.

[Mal]

They couldn't even get like. They're stuck. You know, the little stairways in between, like going from upstairs to downstairs. They were stuck on the stairs for 30 minutes. Absolutely not.

[Ryan]

Yes.

[Baby D]

No way I'm turning around, getting ready.

[Mal]

I lost my fucking. If I'd have had to go to work. If I would have had to go to work at 8 o' clock in the morning and I couldn't get in the fucking.

[Baby D]

So I mean, I'm sure every company in downtown Manhattan, like had some grace for their employees.

[Mal]

But even if you work below it or above it, like, if you have to go through, if you have to go through it. That shit is crazy.

[Baby D]

Yeah, I. I'm actually very happy about my decision of not going, rather than. Than regretting it. And if you weren't there, because I saw a lot of people were upset that they waited three hours and still couldn't even get into the area. I thought it was incredible to watch on tv. Like, I loved all the speeches. I love the Key to the city ceremony. It was great when. If you weren't there, it was beautiful to watch.

[Damaris]

You got to see more of what. Exactly what was happening.

[Baby D]

Alicia smoked that. Even though they tried to make it awkward and like, that. I was very nervous for Alicia Keys because it was like the Key to the city ceremony, and they were like, everyone just chilled, and they're like, but wait, we have Alicia Keys? Like, what, is she supposed to just walk out and perform now? It was awkward, but she still smoked that. Her son played the piano.

[Mal]

That's dope.

[Baby D]

Yeah, it was really cool. And she had on Swizz's Rough Riders chain. Like, yeah, she.

[Damaris]

What's the correlation there?

[Baby D]

She's married to Swizz Beats.

[Damaris]

But why is that cool to. On this Rough Riders chain?

[Baby D]

Because Rough Riders is. Is the epitome of New York, and it's not the.

[Damaris]

Are you talking about Rough Riders? Not the epitome. The epitome of New York City.

[Baby D]

So is Rockefeller.

[Damaris]

So is Murder epitome of New York City?

[Boost Mobile Announcer]

Yes.

[Damaris]

You're crazy as hell.

[Baby D]

DMX is not a staple of New York.

[Damaris]

Now, some would say the locks is

[Baby D]

not a staple somewhere.

[Damaris]

Say he's not from New York City. I wouldn't say that.

[Baby D]

Okay.

[Damaris]

All right, then. So that's why I'm stopping you in your tracks.

[Baby D]

What was. Where did Rough Riders hang out?

[Damaris]

Oh, all over.

[Baby D]

125th. Yeah, that was a spot.

[Damaris]

We know that. I'm just saying that's not.

[Baby D]

How are you about to tell me, Rough Riders. How is DMX in the locks not the epitome of New York?

[Damaris]

I wouldn't say that. I'm saying some people would say that.

[Baby D]

Okay. I think your family's logo. I think the Rough Riders are. I think Murder, Inc. I think Def Jam. I think all of them are the epitome of New York. Yes. I think it's cool that she was wearing a Rough Rider's chain at the Knicks ceremony while she was performing Empire State of Mind. Yes. I think, as Ilia, she was wearing a Rough Riders chain, an original one.

[Damaris]

Okay.

[Baby D]

I think that shit is cool.

[Damaris]

That's what's up. I just Was. I didn't expect. That was like a curveball you threw at me. And I was just like, what was the significance of the reference?

[Baby D]

I love Yonkers and Mount Vernon. I still think they're very much part of this ecosystem.

[Damaris]

I do, too. I just laugh when people say, no, that's not New York City. I'm like, you sure? Damn that five minutes.

[Cal Penn]

That's it.

[Damaris]

Five minutes from the Bronx, bro, where I'm from. So I. New York City to me.

[Baby D]

But, you know, you go up Broadway, just one block over, it's right there. You and Yakin right there. But, I mean, yeah. Did you guys see any clips and any.

[Mal]

You know, I saw my girl Miami performing the 2026 championship song. Spin that shit.

[Baby D]

That being the championship song. No, I was happy to see her because all the performers, obviously, were New York City rappers, but because that was the song that the team listened to in the locker room right when they won as well. I thought it was great that young Miami was there.

[Jeff T]

Yeah.

[Baby D]

Like, you don't think it's crazy that he got the Terror Squad shit on? I think Jose deserves that.

[Damaris]

Yeah, he's pulling.

[Baby D]

You think Terror Squad is epitome of New York? Because I do.

[Damaris]

When you say it's just the epitome. The Yankees are the epitome of New York. Terror Squad is not the epitome.

[Baby D]

All right, go. Go around. Go around Yankee Stadium and say that same thing.

[Damaris]

The Knicks are the epitome of New York. Like, did not.

[Baby D]

Don't tell Pistol Pete that.

[Damaris]

I'm just saying the epitome. It's just when you put the word epitome on it, it's like.

[Baby D]

It's like there's not one epitome.

[Damaris]

Okay. All right, well, if you look at

[Baby D]

it like Frank Sinatra is, and he's from New Jersey, he's still the epitome of New York.

[Damaris]

See? Okay. All right. I'm not here to argue that. Listen, man, I'm just happy the Knicks got a championship, got a parade. The city enjoyed it. Everybody came out different. I know a few of my homeboys that's out that don't live in New York no more. They flew in for the parade. I thought they was crazy, but, you know, I get it.

[Jeff T]

Yeah.

[Baby D]

Unless you have plans for other stuff today, I think that would be crazy.

[Mal]

I get it.

[Damaris]

I. Listen, man, you never listen 53 years enjoy it. Because again, you don't know when. When or if we'll ever, you know, see it again. So listen, man, just enjoy it. The city is electric Right now it's a lot of people in town, so yeah, man, have a good time.

[Baby D]

I was so happy to see my friend Kaz on espn. So Stephen A. Went to Merrow in the field because Mero was at the parade while they were doing their morning show. And Merrill was like, I got my people with me. And drunk ass Kaz comes into frame on espn and Stephen A. Smith goes, oh, my Lord. Like, I love that moment for Cas, man. Yeah.

[Damaris]

Like, oh, God. Stephen knew what was about to happen.

[Baby D]

He knew exactly what was about to happen. A lot of yelling in the camera.

[Damaris]

Yeah. This is that time for Knicks fans. They get to pop shit. Do you know what's really dope about this, though? And again, we in the moment. But people don't understand the reason why I'm really like hyped about this. Because going into next season now as the champions, when the Knicks go into the arena, it's different now.

[Baby D]

Yeah.

[Damaris]

The energy is different when the Knicks go into the arenas like they are the defending champ. So it's like, it's just a different raise the banner bravado that the Knicks are walking around with next year into the season. So I like that for the Knicks, man.

[Baby D]

But listen, man, parade was cool. Sorry to our listeners not from New York. I know you've gotten a lot of Knicks talk this week.

[Damaris]

It's all good.

[Baby D]

But I also don't apologize for that. But parade is done. June 19th. We back to work.

[Damaris]

We are.

[Baby D]

We're going for the repeat. Brunson going. We going right up to Westchester activity.

[Jeff T]

Yeah.

[Damaris]

I can promise you Brunson will not be in the gym June 19th.

[Baby D]

I can promise you all of them deserve a much needed vacation.

[Cal Penn]

Yeah.

[Baby D]

And I hope Dolan Mandami, whoever. Someone do the right thing, no pun intended. And make sure Spike Lee gets something. He didn't get a key. Okay, whatever. Give him a ring.

[Damaris]

Spike deserves a ring.

[Baby D]

He spent almost $10 million probably in that franchise in his life.

[Damaris]

Spike Lee deserves a ring. He deserves it.

[Cal Penn]

Despite.

[Baby D]

He was the face of the Knicks when we didn't have a face.

[Damaris]

He, you know, I mean, like he. Scottie Pippen told him to sit his ass down in the 90s.

[Baby D]

Him and Reggie almost fought Reggie Miller.

[Damaris]

You know what I mean? Damn, they was ready to choke Spike Lee. Like, Spike has been a part of Nick's history for a lot of years. He deserves to have a commemorative ring for sure. Something like maybe not the same ring as Brunson. Nah, he don't even have the same ring. But he needs a ring from the organization as the official sixth man of the New York.

[Baby D]

What's that honorary degree shit they give to celebrities?

[Mal]

The honorary degree?

[Cal Penn]

Yeah.

[Baby D]

They didn't go to that school. Yeah, well, yeah, give him a diploma at graduation.

[Damaris]

It's a tax write off. They pay for something at the school.

[Mal]

Was he on the. Was he on one of the floats for the parade?

[Damaris]

He had braces.

[Baby D]

I saw a photo of him. I couldn't tell if he was on a float because it was like a really close photo. But I know he was there.

[Damaris]

I want to see the. Cause I know Spike has some cameras out there. I want to see his documentary. Come on. Are you kidding me? You know he had about 20 cameras down there today. Like, I want to see what he shot because I'm pretty sure he put something dope. He's going to put something dope together around this whole neck run.

[Mal]

Yeah, no worry.

[Baby D]

Mall. Boost Mobile is proving that you don't have to overpay for great wireless. I don't know why. You've been overpaying for years at this point. You need to unlock the savings. I've been trying to tell you. It's $25 a month or ever, Every week. Yes, I'm going to tell you forever.

[Damaris]

Okay.

[Baby D]

As long as my unlimited plan is going to be is how much I'm going to tell you about this. It's a permanent price with no contracts, no price hikes. You keep your phone and your number, but you save up to $600 a year compared to all other major carriers.

[Damaris]

Stop overpaying and switch to a fair [e-mail] today based on average annual single line payment of AT&T Verizon to T Mobile customers compared to 12 months on the Boost Mobile Unlimited plan as of January 2026. For full offer details, visit boostmobile.com

[Boost Mobile Announcer]

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[Jeff T]

This is Jeff t. From the Club 520 podcast. Oh, my goodness. Now this is a performance you do not want to miss. The Dell xps, powered by Intel Core Ultra. It's got the sauce. We're talking speed, style, stamina, bam. And a long lasting battery life unheard of in this league. So whether you're using it for the next level, creativity, never ending productivity, or the entertainment that has you on the edge of your seat, this laptop is your mvp. Just look at the hustle. Is there anything you can't do? From the first second of the action all the way through the overtime, this thing is a powerhouse. The Dell xps. Built for those with all the right moves. Built for you 5 technology built to

[Damaris]

take your game up a [e-mail] XPS.

[Cal Penn]

Hey, everyone, it's Cal Penn, host of Irsay The Audible and iHeart Audiobook Club. This week on the podcast, I'm sitting down with Wil Wheaton, who played Gordie Lachance in stand by me 40 years ago and now narrates Stephen King's the Body, the novella that inspired it all. We talk about what it's like to return to a story that shaped his life, channeling his memories of River Phoenix in the recording booth and why the friendships you have at 12 might be the most important ones you'll ever have. I know Gordie Lachance. I am Gordie Lachance.

[Mal]

I mean, even when I was a

[Baby D]

little kid, I was Gordy Lachance when

[Mal]

I didn't know it.

[Cal Penn]

Listen to Earsay the Audible and iHeart Audiobook Club on the iHeartradio app or wherever you get your podcasts.

[Cindy Crawford]

Hi, I'm Cindy Crawford and I'm the founder of Meaningful Beauty. Well, I don't know about you, but, like, I never liked being told, oh, wow, you look so good for your age. Like, why even bother saying that? Why don't you just say you look great at any age, every age. That's what Meaningful Beauty is all about. We create products that make you feel confident in your skin at the age you are now. Meaningful Beauty, beautiful skin. At every age. Learn more@meaningful beauty.com.

[Baby D]

Before we get off. This isn't like a Knicks thing, but more of a pause thing. Can we pull up the Cameron with Stephen A. Smith this morning? The 2024, 2025 season when he said Tom Thibodeau wouldn't want to play nine

[Damaris]

dudes in a baseball game.

[Baby D]

It's exactly what he said so far.

[Damaris]

Absolutely right.

[Baby D]

Tibbs wants to ride you and ride you and ride you till the wheels come off. Top six, top seven.

[Damaris]

No more than that. Guys go down, they hobble, they're strained. What does he do Last year in the playoffs, he bringing dudes off the bench that Leon Rose and worldwide. The 2020.

[Mal]

That's funny as hell.

[Baby D]

Does Spike Lee have the best pause in Knicks history?

[Damaris]

It wasn't Spike Lee. It was who was interviewing.

[Baby D]

Well, no, I mean, he was the one that garnered the pause.

[Damaris]

He said, we got big dick. What do you said?

[Baby D]

He said, I like Frank. I like Dick.

[Damaris]

Yeah, I like Frank.

[Baby D]

I like Dick.

[Cal Penn]

It's crazy.

[Baby D]

He said, it's a good day in New York.

[Damaris]

He's like, pause. Who's there that said that?

[Baby D]

Gus Johnson just, just YouTube Spike Lee pause.

[Damaris]

It was one of the Gus Johnson. It was Gus Johnson.

[Baby D]

I said, it's a great day in New York.

[Damaris]

I like.

[Baby D]

I like Frank. I like Dick.

[Damaris]

I like Frank. I like Dick.

[Baby D]

Pause, pause.

[Damaris]

That was.

[Baby D]

It was the most subtle pause of all time. Zach Randolph, Dan Dickow, Fred Jones for Steve Francis and Channing Fry. A good night in New York City. It's a good night. So you like Zach Randall? I like the trade. I like Zach like Fred, like dick.

[Damaris]

You know, the pick.

[Boost Mobile Announcer]

Like Fred.

[Damaris]

Like Johnson might need a ring too. Yeah, we might get.

[Mal]

That was. That was a calm ass pause.

[Damaris]

Yeah, that was the most eloquent pause in history pause. That was a presidential pause.

[Mal]

What do y' all say to people who say that pause is childish in nature?

[Damaris]

I say stop saying pause worthy stuff. That's what I say.

[Baby D]

Like, I don't think it's that serious. Like, why can't you just have fun as an adult?

[Mal]

I mean, because people would say, the people who say that would say that there's an underlying, like, pause is basically like you just said something gay. Like, and it's like, it's childish. Like you take in something that's not sexual in nature and you're making it. It's like, nah, the Knicks win the championship.

[Damaris]

Paws is here to stay. Now.

[Mal]

It's a childish innuendo pause is the

[Baby D]

epitome of New York, they say, never lose your inner child.

[Damaris]

Pause is the epitome of New York.

[Baby D]

Definitely is.

[Jeff T]

Yeah.

[Damaris]

That's the epitome of New York. Pause. Like, nah. Yeah, pause is here to stay. The Knicks one. That's it. Pause is here.

[Baby D]

And to that point, like, I know gay people that say pause.

[Damaris]

Yeah.

[Baby D]

Like, well, I mean, but the person. I know, a lot of gay people

[Mal]

that say Paul, they would say that their child is true. Like, man, it's like, that. Serious. You want to joke around with your

[Baby D]

friends, and your friends say something crazy.

[Damaris]

Like, I hate people like that.

[Ryan]

Yo, y'.

[Cal Penn]

All.

[Damaris]

Y' all being child. Yo, you childish. Yo, go home. Go home, fam. Cause you. You want something else right now. You just. Your energy is. Craig, just go home, man.

[Baby D]

Yeah, and it's. It's not homophobic. I can see someone from the outside trying to make it that way.

[Damaris]

It's not that. It's not that.

[Baby D]

It's just funny.

[Damaris]

Yeah.

[Baby D]

Just so you said something crazy.

[Jeff T]

Yeah.

[Damaris]

Like, yo, pause, like, you wilding right now.

[Baby D]

And like, what, do we have to get rid of AO as well? No homo. Took it to another place. Yeah, we really says no homo.

[Damaris]

We don't gotta say that.

[Baby D]

Yeah, no homo can be retired. It's new times. I get that.

[Ryan]

But pause.

[Boost Mobile Announcer]

Come on.

[Damaris]

The Knicks won a championship.

[Mal]

Pause and no homo mean the same thing, though.

[Baby D]

Yeah, but it's yes and no.

[Damaris]

Yeah, but when you say no homo, it's like, all right.

[Baby D]

Yeah, now we're being, like, real homophobic.

[Damaris]

Yeah, like, that's just.

[Mal]

But you.

[Damaris]

Nah. Cause pause is just like, yo, you. You saying something like, all right, fam. Like, relax.

[Baby D]

You.

[Damaris]

You talking a little.

[Mal]

Well, I say pause when I say shit. That's like, it don't have to be gay. It could just be like, if something sounds OD sexual, I'll say pause. It don't even have to be something gay.

[Damaris]

Yeah, see? So you get it.

[Cal Penn]

You understand?

[Mal]

I. I do get it, but I'm just saying that what people. Some people will say. They say that it's childish and it needs to go.

[Boost Mobile Announcer]

Yeah.

[Damaris]

I mean, Stephen A. Was getting a little. He, like. He'll ride him and ride him and ride him.

[Baby D]

Saw Cam's whole face.

[Damaris]

All right, fam. It's like, yeah, man, let's pause. The Cam was trying to be professional. Espn, you know what I'm saying? This ain't Talk with Flea. This is espn. It's like, all right. But it's like, come on, man. Like, you wiling right now.

[Baby D]

Look, at his face. Yeah, like, three rider, one ride them.

[Cal Penn]

Cool.

[Baby D]

Let's just let that go. Yeah, but now you riding them and riding them and riding with nine men.

[Damaris]

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Cal Penn]

Come on.

[Damaris]

Enough is enough.

[Baby D]

And I feel like you could pause gay dudes.

[Damaris]

I mean, yeah, if you want

[Mal]

homophobia.

[Baby D]

Me, I've definitely seen gay men say pause.

[Mal]

No, he's. Pete said, just seeing a gay man and saying pause. Just pointing at himself.

[Baby D]

I don't see a gay man and say pause. That's. That's homophobic. And I'm not homophobic.

[Damaris]

Roy sees gay men holding hands. He's like, your pause. See, Rory, that's a bit too much. That's too far.

[Baby D]

I would go ahead and say I'm the least homophobic person in this room.

[Damaris]

We polled the people already.

[Baby D]

I am the least homophobic person.

[Damaris]

No, you're not.

[Baby D]

Like, no Trump shit. When you just be, like, spewing out, I'm the least racist person in the world.

[Damaris]

I'm the least racist person I know.

[Cal Penn]

Like what?

[Baby D]

Well, all right, let's. Let's see who you know.

[Damaris]

Yeah, let's go through your Rolodex. Let's see who you know, man.

[Baby D]

But no, I think. Yeah, I think even though Damaris is part of that community, I think she's more homophobic than I am.

[Mal]

That's such bullshit. Stop putting that on me.

[Baby D]

I didn't say you were homophobic. I said I'm the least homophobic. I don't think anyone here is homophobic, but if we were to poll it, I'm the least in that spectrum.

[Damaris]

Didn't we poll this already, baby D?

[Mal]

No, we polled who is the biggest gaslighter. And you won.

[Damaris]

Me.

[Mal]

Yes.

[Damaris]

I don't even talk to y'.

[Jeff T]

All.

[Damaris]

How am I the biggest gaslighter? Like, I don't even speak to you

[Baby D]

saying that to a podcast, Mike. I don't even talk to y'. All.

[Damaris]

I'm saying I don't speak. Wait. Gaslighting who though? Our audience, I think.

[Baby D]

Just Gaslighting.

[Boost Mobile Announcer]

Gaslighting.

[Mal]

Gaslighting.

[Baby D]

On the episode.

[Mal]

You are the biggest gaslighter. They then they polled you as the biggest gaslighter. I came in second.

[Damaris]

Gaslighting like people in this room on episodes. Yeah, Me. Y' all sit here and say that. Y' all say shit to get me going. Like, y.

[Cindy Crawford]

Look.

[Baby D]

Look at him gaslighting this type of. He's gaslighting.

[Damaris]

So y' all have sat here on camera, said, n. We say shit to get you riled up. How so? Then how. I've never said nothing to get y' all going in here. Never.

[Mal]

But gaslighting is not purposely saying something. Well, it is kind of.

[Baby D]

This is.

[Damaris]

Go ahead, finish.

[Mal]

So what you will do is say something and then wonder why I react the way that I reacted. We say shit to get you going, but we know that we said it to get you going.

[Damaris]

So you know you're gaslighting me.

[Mal]

No, but that's not. I don't know.

[Damaris]

I'm gaslighting you. That's not me gaslighting you. I'm not sound.

[Baby D]

That sounds like elite Gaslighting.

[Mal]

That's just riling you up. The part that makes it gaslighting is then once you gaslight once, you say something to piss me off, and then you look at me and act like I'm overreacting.

[Ryan]

That.

[Mal]

And make it seem like I'm crazy. That's the gas.

[Damaris]

When have I ever done that to you? Watch this.

[Mal]

No, watch this. Because it's more a favorite thing to do, right? If I can't think of something straight off the top of my head, it never happened.

[Damaris]

Because it doesn't. It hasn't happened.

[Cal Penn]

When?

[Damaris]

You remember when gaslight you, don't you?

[Mal]

I have to think on that, too.

[Damaris]

No, you don't. That should be at the tip of your tongue for an argument. No, you don't.

[Baby D]

That should be on your fence.

[Ryan]

Yeah.

[Damaris]

Like, don't do that. When have I ever gaslit you?

[Mal]

Well, I can't think of it right now. And of course, that's. That means it never happened.

[Damaris]

That means it never happened, Rory, Whenever I ever gaslit you.

[Baby D]

I didn't vote in the thing. Why you asking me?

[Mal]

I didn't vote.

[Jeff T]

You voted.

[Damaris]

Now look how fast nobody. I mean, I probably voted against when I gaslit, though.

[Baby D]

I don't think you've gaslit me.

[Mal]

The audience say you gaslight them. You gaslight us. I'm just telling you what the audience said. I didn't vote for you.

[Damaris]

The audience also said other dumb shit that they don't know what the fuck they talking about. So there's that. I just want to know when I gaslit you. Because I cannot think of a time where I ever was like, yo, I'm about to get Baby D, and I just gaslit you.

[Baby D]

Like, where do we do that? We did that poll on Twitter or on Patreon?

[Mal]

We did it on Twitter and Patreon.

[Baby D]

Let's do it just on Patreon. Because I don't want to put that to the Twitter. Streets. Let's do the least homophobic person on this podcast.

[Damaris]

The least homophobic.

[Baby D]

I'm going to have 100% of the votes.

[Damaris]

I'm definitely the least homophobic person for sure.

[Mal]

Yo, when you take. When you make a white man take his glasses off and rub his nose, that's the.

[Damaris]

That's the epitome of I'll be damned. That's the white. I'll be damned. I. Bro, I went to perform an arts high nation.

[Baby D]

Are you talking.

[Damaris]

I went to a performing arts high school. Like, I'm the least homophobic person in here. You know how many gay, like, friends I had growing up? We're not friends anymore.

[Baby D]

Yeah, exactly.

[Mal]

Yeah, once you left the chorus.

[Damaris]

Yeah, we're not friends anymore once you left the chorus. I'm not homophobic.

[Ryan]

Man.

[Damaris]

Putting homophobia on me is crazy, man.

[Baby D]

I don't think you're homophobic. I'm just saying you just took your glasses off. Cause you're not the least homophobic person in this room.

[Damaris]

All right. I'm the least homophobic person I know.

[Baby D]

You know us.

[Mal]

You know, I think it don't know me.

[Damaris]

So I'm the least out of y'.

[Ryan]

All.

[Damaris]

Exactly.

[Baby D]

Ryan, you've gotten to know us in the last few months. From your observation, who do you think out of the four of us is the least homophobic?

[Ryan]

What?

[Damaris]

No.

[Mal]

Just cause you say gay don't make you. It'd be mad homos that hate homos. That's.

[Damaris]

Be mad homos that

[Mal]

like that. Home. I don't mean homo as a slur either. I mean it like, you know, homoerotic people. Yeah.

[Baby D]

Nah, keep it.

[Mal]

No, y' all have already gotten canceled. I still want brand.

[Baby D]

Wait, what are we getting? No.

[Damaris]

Who got canceled?

[Baby D]

Yeah, leave the. We're not saying anything wrong at all.

[Mal]

You didn't. I did.

[Baby D]

What'd you say? Homo.

[Mal]

That's considered a slurpee.

[Baby D]

Oh, I didn't know it. I. I always felt like that was always a tone. Like, if. Yeah, like, it's like how you say the word, it makes it a slur.

[Mal]

No, like, look at that.

[Boost Mobile Announcer]

Homo.

[Baby D]

That's a slur. But if I'm referring to someone as homo in a good way, I don't think that's a slur.

[Mal]

Like, it's like.

[Baby D]

No, definitely not like that. There's no tone where. That's fine.

[Damaris]

I don't know any tone where that would be acceptable.

[Mal]

Oh, okay. Wondering. I didn't realize was a slur until I got out here. Yeah, I didn't Know that?

[Baby D]

No, neither. You told me that.

[Ryan]

Yeah.

[Baby D]

And got mad that we. That we had to cut me saying I thought was an accurate way to describe somebody. That's all.

[Mal]

But I think because you know, if

[Baby D]

I said lesbian, if I said, you know the difference right away.

[Damaris]

Right.

[Baby D]

Because I didn't know it was a slur.

[Mal]

I guess they're like called like mask masculine presenting. But I don't know when I think the D word is very specific when I say it because maybe it's a New Yorker thing, but like we have a specific. Like when they look like Jay Z and dress like Jay Z. When they look like Jadakiss and dress like Jay Z. That's when you use that word. It's specific. Specific.

[Baby D]

Yeah. Like you know her fitted hat size. And she wants the one that goes over the ears.

[Mal]

Do people still like, are snapbacks still a thing? Or like, do people go back to fitt its now like I don't know what kind of hat.

[Baby D]

It's a mixed bag. But I'm happy that fitted to made like a comeback. I wasn't mad at the snapback era, but I don't know, it got a little too ridiculous. I missed when fitted were a thing.

[Mal]

So fitted our back not snap. Like I can't.

[Baby D]

I think both. I think it's equal right now.

[Mal]

I'm actually asking all because he actually wears.

[Baby D]

He wears. That's fair.

[Mal]

Yeah.

[Damaris]

I don't wear fitters. I wear snapbacks.

[Mal]

I noticed that. So no, fitted. Fitted aren't okay.

[Damaris]

Fitted are cool. But I just. The fitted to me is just like you just committed.

[Mal]

I feel like it's mad hat. Like it's mad hat back there. It's mad what hat back there? Like with fitted, like, hey, there's no opening for like your scalp to breathe. Like it's just hat.

[Damaris]

No, it's just, it's just to. Yeah, it's just fits. It can only fit you like, you know how you be like, yo, let me, let me have a hat. You could never say that if I had. If I wore fittings.

[Baby D]

That's true.

[Damaris]

You could never say that. You can never like more. I want that hat. What you going to do with it? Like you can't wear it. You know what I'm saying? Like, so like that's, that's my thing with snaps. It's like you let your hair grow, you know. I'm saying you could adjust or fit it. You committed to that.

[Mal]

You could put like your ponytail through it.

[Damaris]

Right.

[Mal]

With snap.

[Damaris]

You want to do that, right? If that's your thing.

[Mal]

Yeah, Yeah.

[Damaris]

I don't know Snapbacks, it leaves room for like, you know, thing. Yeah, it's like it leaves room for like to do other things. That's all.

[Baby D]

But they did like with the snapback. I feel like they brought the fitted form back to the snapback, whereas the snapback had its own form. Like that looks like a fitted. Yeah, if, if Paul's. You turned around and it was a fitted. It wouldn't shock me. Okay, gotcha. So yeah, I think even the snapbacks have the fitted form. I like the fitted form is what I'm saying.

[Mal]

Okay. Not the actual fitted with just like.

[Baby D]

No, yeah. Like how the hat actually looks like. I like the five panel shit that they was doing. I like with Don.

[Damaris]

Cuz I was supposed to wear snapbacks though. Like when white boys started wearing fittest, that's when you knew you had black friends.

[Baby D]

Yeah, I guess. I mean but I always liked like when Bryson Tiller made that, that Nike hat. Cool. Like that's always the hats I wore anyways.

[Damaris]

Yeah.

[Baby D]

Just of, of my whiteness. I felt like, you know, make it

[Damaris]

look like a cop.

[Baby D]

In high school when I was wearing

[Damaris]

it, if you wore a Nike hat, just a Nike hat with just a swoosh on it, I would definitely think he was a NARC.

[Baby D]

Without question 100.

[Damaris]

I would think he was a narc.

[Baby D]

Hey, Jamil, where can I get some weed?

[Damaris]

Oh my God. I would think he was a narc. I'm like, yeah, he's a narc. Get him out of here.

[Baby D]

Because I mean, even I'm sure I can find photos. But like in high school when I was wearing like the Pittsburgh Pirates fitted. It's too big on my head.

[Mal]

I was about to say it was Mad Rudy.

[Baby D]

It was just. I couldn't do that shit anymore. Yeah, I. I prefer the dad hat wave in that regard. But I did get the. The Knicks championship snap back. Yeah, it'll be here in six months or whatever they said with the back order.

[Damaris]

But it's all right.

[Baby D]

But I ordered it.

[Damaris]

It's all right. Yeah, you got it, you got it. That's all that matters.

[Baby D]

Yeah, it was purchased anyways, though. Nick's didn't accept the invite to the White House. We already knew that. I mean.

[Damaris]

No, they did accept.

[Baby D]

Oh, they did.

[Damaris]

Like I told you they would.

[Mal]

It was rumored that they didn't, but Dolan said they did, which mean they did.

[Baby D]

Oh, so Dolan's gone.

[Mal]

I feel like if I was the next. I don't want to Fight and argue with my owner. I'm just gonna go like it. Like, I'm not. I'm not going through all that.

[Damaris]

What?

[Baby D]

You can accept the invite. I accept a million invites and don't go to shit.

[Mal]

Yeah, but that's not, like, to the White House. My.

[Baby D]

My guy still have to figure out details. No, Dolan is doing a good, good press favor for Trump. I highly doubt that they go, but Dolan saying we accepted it gives Trump the ego press that he. He wants. Instead of it saying, Knicks do not accept. Dolan accepted it. It doesn't mean nobody's going. I think Mitch might go with his truck, but that's Mitch. I can't see that team going and doing that.

[Damaris]

You don't think the Knicks are going to the White House?

[Mal]

I think they're going to.

[Damaris]

You're crazy.

[Baby D]

Every NBA team since Trump was in office always declined.

[Damaris]

Yeah, but those NBA teams suck. This is the New York Knicks. It's the Knicks, bro. Yeah, it's the Knicks.

[Baby D]

I can't see it.

[Damaris]

They're going to do what?

[Baby D]

I also don't, like, fully understand the whole, like.

[Mal]

Well, because back in the day, people used to, like, value the president. So, like, it would be, like, a big thing to go and meet the president. Like, that was true for the team.

[Baby D]

I'm sure that that's always been a thing. I just.

[Damaris]

I don't know if teams could go and shake Ronald Reagan's hand, they can go shake Trump's hand. Let me tell you a thing about Ronald Reagan. If you can go shake George Bush hand, you can go shake Donald Trump. Like, y' all gotta stop all of this. Like, all this social media. Stand up for your rights and all this bullshit. Y' all be on. Go check out the history of these presidents, bro.

[Baby D]

I would say a lot.

[Damaris]

If went and shook Ronald Reagan's hand and George Bush's hand, y' all can go shake Donald Trump's. Cut this. Cut the cap. My. Stop the.

[Baby D]

You're not wrong. Stop the.

[Damaris]

Like, y' all want to get into that history, the history of these presidents. Like, stop the.

[Baby D]

Well, there's a lot of vets in the league where Ronald Reagan personally ruined their family's lives.

[Damaris]

Exactly, exactly. Like, if y' all could go. If they went and shook Ronald Reagan's hand, y' all can go shake Trump hand. Cut the cap.

[Baby D]

There's a lot of people in the league that were born in 1988.

[Damaris]

Yeah, like, stop the, bro. Stop the bullshit. I get it. I get it. I understand that y' all don't like Trump. And I get it. I'm not here to tell y' all who to like, but if y' all gonna be high and mighty like that niggas went and shook Reagan's hand and in Bush's hands and all these other dudes. Yeah, I can go shake Trump hand. Y' all can go shake Trump in. It's not. I get it, but y' all can go shake Trump in. I guess.

[Baby D]

I mean, I. I think at that time, to Maris point, where no matter who the president was, it was a thing to go meet the president. At this point, I just.

[Boost Mobile Announcer]

I don't know.

[Baby D]

Everything is. Is so entertainment based and political based that it's like, I don't even know if I want to go. No matter who the president. No, I'm not going out my way to do this.

[Damaris]

That ain't what it is. These players now got social media. They don't want to be opening their phones and getting a bunch of mentions when they were saying.

[Baby D]

No. That's what I'm saying.

[Damaris]

You're shaking that. He doesn't like black people. All these. They don't want to read that.

[Baby D]

No, that's what I'm saying. Whereas before, yes, I think people. Nobody really thought these presidents like black people, but there wasn't a whole medium where people could lash out at their favorite players for going there.

[Damaris]

Yeah.

[Baby D]

So, yeah, I just think no matter who it is, because, shit, if they go meet Obama, should we go look at his record of the amount of people he's murdering at the moment?

[Damaris]

There's a whole nother thing. Y' all went.

[Baby D]

No matter who it is, you'll get backlash. Yeah. Like, that's where I would just, like, I would leave that alone. Because there's no winning, no matter what politician's hand that you shake. And you're there to play basketball and provide for your family. And Dolan has another agenda because he's got Penn Station shit invested with Trump. Like, he's doing his political.

[Damaris]

Not only that, I don't want to

[Baby D]

be part of that shit.

[Cal Penn]

No.

[Mal]

But Dolan controls. Controls my future more than the people who are going to be upset for a little bit on Twitter. Respectfully, like, just. I wouldn't argue with Dolan.

[Damaris]

Like, it's not even about arguing with Dolan.

[Baby D]

I just got you a championship. You don't need to. You're not gonna make me go to D.C. no.

[Damaris]

Nobody. Nobody can make anybody do anything. These are grown men. They play for Dolan's team. If they don't wanna go, then they can decline to go. Like, but for what? Because you don't wanna open your Instagram later on to see people calling you Uncle Tom or something like that. But y' all got mad at. I will never forget how niggas got mad at Ice Cube for just wanting to sit down and have a conversation with Trump. Call Ice Cube Uncle Tom, bro.

[Baby D]

Ice Cube when he sat with Tucker. Yeah, and again, it's not my place to say Ice Cube.

[Damaris]

The police. Ice Cube. Y' all called him Uncle Tom. Like, come on, man. Cut this, man.

[Baby D]

Yeah, yeah. Not. Not my place in that regard of how people should feel about Ice Cube as an outsider. I just thought it was odd because we know for the last 30 years where ice Cube has stood. Yeah, like, we're talking about Cube right now.

[Damaris]

Ice Cube, bro. Like, come on. Y' all are crazy.

[Baby D]

His record stands for itself on. On who he cares about. So I don't know. But I mean, shit, where do you stand with this Jay and Target thing?

[Jeff T]

Then?

[Baby D]

That's a good transition into what's going on.

[Damaris]

People are just upset about what. What do we. What do we protest and Target for?

[Baby D]

I was gonna ask you guys.

[Mal]

Because they roll back dei, but what most people don't understand is that most companies roll back DEI because nobody wanted to fund it. It's a whole other side of the company that you have to fund, and nobody wanted to fund that.

[Damaris]

Yeah, but Jay's not the first person that released an album of vinyls through Target.

[Mal]

People hate Jay Z, bro.

[Damaris]

Yeah, but that's what I'm saying. But they don't even know what they hating. They hate you just get on behind a hashtag, hate Jay Z. Like, what are y' all talking about? Like, why are we. Dei don't even know what DI means. You ask the average person right now, what is di? Oh, I love those shits on. On Tick Tock when be in the streets. Like, what is the eye? Then people just be sitting there stumped. I hate this. Or why? Why do you hate that person? Oh, because they did this. No, they didn't do that. Yes, they did. No, they didn't do that. This is the same thing with this di. Why? Why are you mad that they took away di? What does di mean? 60% of people could not tell you what di means. I guarantee you, we live in a

[Mal]

society where a lot of people. And this isn't even my take on dei, regardless. But just where a lot of people don't know how to go and research where they're getting information from people see headlines people see and take it as fact. They don't do any sort of research. And this is not me standing up a target. But just period. When it comes to a lot of shit. I feel like that came with like between AI people learning what clickbaiting was with the last couple elections. Like there is no real information. Like nobody people remember when Wikipedia. We didn't used to trust Wikipedia when we were doing papers. Like we couldn't even use that as a source. Now motherfuckers is using this J Room as a. A source. They using tweets as a source. And it's like that's not.

[Baby D]

Well, I'm not proud of my ignorance. I really didn't know that there was a boycott on Target.

[Damaris]

There is no boycott on Target.

[Baby D]

I really was. I really wasn't aware because

[Mal]

there was a very large boycott. What do you mean?

[Cal Penn]

Where?

[Mal]

All over America. There was a large boycott on Target.

[Damaris]

Show me where. Can somebody pull up where they were boycott and Target at? Don't tell me what niggas were saying on Twitter and on Instagram. Show me what. People were outside boycotting Target so you

[Mal]

wouldn't be outside Boycott Target. Boycotton is not shopping at and not

[Damaris]

my homie works Instacart. It's nothing but niggas on Instacart all

[Mal]

just because everybody does not mean.

[Damaris]

Cut the cat, man. Stop the bullshit. I don't want to hear that shit. Niggas ain't boycotting target.

[Baby D]

Sales falling 2%.

[Mal]

That's.

[Baby D]

That's 2% for target is a lot.

[Mal]

There was a big boycott.

[Baby D]

100 billion.

[Damaris]

That's a lot.

[Mal]

Around the same time they were boycotting Starbucks at a bunch of other places. There was a.

[Damaris]

Who boycotted Starbucks

[Ryan]

online?

[Damaris]

In Seattle for an hour. The oldest Starbucks in America. We waited an hour. That and it was a brand new one right around the corner with no line.

[Mal]

Just because you did not because it was boycotting and not everybody participated.

[Damaris]

Nobody was boycotting Starbucks. Cut the man. I don't care what a hundred was doing. Don't ever tell me what 100.

[Baby D]

That's accurate. I don't know if it's accurate, but 100 billion in in sales based off a boycott is. Is a lot.

[Damaris]

They made that again.

[Baby D]

I was not aware of this.

[Damaris]

That ain't doing nothing for star. Starbucks is still popping right now.

[Baby D]

Oh, for sure.

[Damaris]

So where. What is the boycott? What are we talking about? What are we talking about? Where does these things actually make any difference at? What are we talking about? If you're gonna boycott Starbucks. It's a whole bunch of other. You gotta boycott right after them.

[Baby D]

I would see that and ain't doing that. We've had this conversation. And that's where as much as I understand boycotts, you just put yourself in a smaller and smaller box. Because I remember that the Starbucks one. And mind you, I'm fully on the side of the that Starbucks did in that regard of what they did with Israel, the bank that they have this and that. But if I go through every company that supports Israel, I wouldn't even have WI fi. So I don't like, there's only so much I can boycott. But the, the Target one, I didn't know about the DEI thing. I would imagine Target is not the only company that rollback di. That rollback di. I understand that they just want to

[Damaris]

boycott Target and still get in the car and play R. Kelly. I don't want to hear about this shit.

[Baby D]

Well, I guess. All right, can I, can I ask you guys? All right, what's wrong with Jay Z doing that and then you just not buying the vinyl?

[Mal]

That makes too much sense for people. They can't comprehend that.

[Baby D]

And mind you, I wouldn't look at anyone crazy. That was like, yo, I don't fuck with Target because they pulled back on the D I shit and I don't fudge with Jay doing an exclusive vinyl with them, so I'm not going to buy it. I wouldn't think they were crazy. So what's wrong if somebody's on the other side of just like, oh, I, I, I've watched Cole, Kendrick, Nikki, everyone do exclusive vinyls. And hey, that's where I get my vinyls. And I just okay people in the

[Mal]

real world, like, people who just like work like regular nine to five jobs and like, they maybe got 20 followers on Twitter. They don't care about none of this shit. This is people who sit online all day and make money off of tweeting. That's their only for, like, form of income. And they get pulled into ARG by people from the Philippines, and I guarantee

[Damaris]

you every one of them had a bunch of Target bags under their sink in the kitchen.

[Mal]

They don't, A lot of people don't even be from the country that start these type this like, type of arguments and shit like that just to like stir up like engagement so that they can like pay their rent.

[Damaris]

That's what I'm saying. This ain't, it's not, it's not real.

[Baby D]

And, and I hate. Because they're Just going to think we have Jay Z talking points or whatever, but I don't know. I can go off the action of what Jay Z has done, of the opposite of DEI and the amount of people that he employs every day. I just don't know if this is the fight with Target and dei.

[Mal]

So him and Beyonce get critiqued a lot. Peace. Just brought up because they say that they're part time activists. They say they participate in a lot of elitist billionaire stuff while at the same time being pro black. Pro black.

[Baby D]

Wait, all right. This is where I get a little confused sometimes too. No one's ever Jay Z's entire career he's rapped. I am a capitalist and a businessman. Where is anyone getting that confused?

[Mal]

Well, people are saying that you can't be so pro black and then participate in capitalism because capitalism, it's not my place.

[Baby D]

It's not my place to comment on their blackness or their anything they do with boycotting or their activism. I'm just speaking on what has been out there. Do I do I think from the outside looking in, Jay Z cares a lot about his people. Yes. Do I also think Jay Z is a capitalist and Beyonce is a capitalist?

[Ryan]

Yeah.

[Baby D]

And I don't think there's anything wrong with them being capitalists.

[Mal]

No.

[Baby D]

Yeah.

[Damaris]

I also know that Jay Z has given more scholarships to black kids than a lot of you niggas online.

[Mal]

Well, we don't, we don't have a billion dollars to give out, baby.

[Damaris]

So then shut the fuck up.

[Baby D]

And it's a lot of stuff. I was on the phone with someone this week. There's a lot of stuff that Jay Z does behind the scenes that I know it's gonna sound for the podcast crowd. They don't give a fuck about this. The amount of stuff he does behind the scenes that people don't know about that he never puts out to get credit for would trump this entire I'm putting a vinyl in Target thing. Like, what are we talking about?

[Mal]

A lot of this.

[Damaris]

Like, I'm going about 10 of the

[Mal]

discourse online does not transfer into real life. Online is not real. Real life.

[Damaris]

Nah. But people be acting like it is. People be acting like it is.

[Baby D]

You can also purchase that same vinyl on his website. So if you don't want to support Target, go buy his website exclusively on. No, no, it's exclusively on his website and on Target. You can, you can buy both the, the white vinyl. Unreasonable doubt. You can get on his website or you can get it at target.

[Damaris]

I'm getting 10 of them. How about that?

[Mal]

Ciao.

[Damaris]

How about that?

[Baby D]

How. I mean, how many people that are outraged? Like, y' all collect models.

[Damaris]

You don't collect nothing. How these be tweeting from a dirty house. I don't care. What none of these got to say online. I said I'm just.

[Baby D]

And I know they'll chop this up and try to make us seem. I don't give a. I just don't understand.

[Damaris]

Who cares?

[Baby D]

I still.

[Damaris]

Like, there's so many other things nobody thinks, bro. Like, I don't care. Who cares? You care. I don't.

[Baby D]

That Jay Z put a vinyl on target.

[Damaris]

No. What people online think.

[Baby D]

Oh, not at this point in my life.

[Damaris]

I don't give up.

[Baby D]

I did at one point. Boy, was that a rough.

[Damaris]

I mean, if y' all want to boycott, boy, I'm not telling nobody not to boycott. Let me. That's what I'm saying, too.

[Baby D]

I get why you would want to go. I'm with you.

[Damaris]

Just when you see me coming to Target to get some deodorant and just

[Mal]

move out my way now, they gonna start harassing you. Like the people at the abortion. Abortion clinic.

[Damaris]

Yeah, well, good luck with that. Good luck. Just move on my way when I'm trying to go get some. Some toiletries, man.

[Mal]

I always wondered the people at the abortion clinic, like, you really think, like, I done made the decision to, like, get rid of this. This. This sack of cells inside me? Like, you think you gonna stop me? Like, you really think, like, you screaming murderer at me is. I'm like. All I'm thinking is, damn. Like, what if my kid grew up and be like, you? Nah, I gotta get rid of it. Like, I'm not.

[Baby D]

Happened in the movie Juno.

[Damaris]

Remember that movie?

[Mal]

Damn. Juno was like a.

[Damaris]

Remember?

[Mal]

That was like, a classic.

[Baby D]

That was a good movie. And she was walking in, and they were like, your baby has fingernails. And she was like, damn, I gotta keep this shit.

[Damaris]

Fingernails.

[Baby D]

But also, what's funny with that is, like, there's so many other things at a clinic. So imagine, like, you just getting a routine checkup, and you're just being screamed at for being a baby.

[Damaris]

Getting a routine.

[Baby D]

It's like, yo, I'm not even pregnant.

[Damaris]

But getting a routine checkup at Child Planned Parenthood is crazy.

[Mal]

It's not crazy.

[Baby D]

That's not easy at all.

[Mal]

A lot of people do it.

[Damaris]

Give routine checkups.

[Boost Mobile Announcer]

Yes.

[Damaris]

Really?

[Mal]

Yeah.

[Baby D]

It's small. That's why.

[Damaris]

I never knew that.

[Baby D]

That's why the Planned Parenthood thing on the right is so insane. That they think everything Planned Parenthood related is abortions. And it's not whatsoever.

[Mal]

I didn't have insurance when I was younger. I got all of my annuals and gynecologist exams at Planned Parents.

[Baby D]

Like, trying to shut down Planned Parenthood because you don't agree with abortion is the most ignorant thing of all.

[Mal]

No, it gives.

[Damaris]

You see, I was ignorant.

[Baby D]

Everyone in there is included.

[Mal]

Free health care to women who don't have insurance.

[Damaris]

Oh, see, y' all just told me something I didn't know that I definitely thought you was going there to like, just abortions or like, if you got burnt. Like the homies went there when they got burnt.

[Baby D]

No, I was about to say I got free STD testing. Yeah, like. Yeah, that's what I. Yeah, that's important.

[Damaris]

Yeah, like a quick, like one stop shop. I'm sorry, Baby D. Thank you. I'm sorry. God damn. I only care what Baby D things. I don't care what none of you out there think.

[Baby D]

Same. And whatever I'm supposed to say with Target, that's what I said.

[Damaris]

How many vinyls you get?

[Baby D]

I.

[Damaris]

How many?

[Baby D]

Just none.

[Damaris]

No, you're getting vinyl. Shut up.

[Baby D]

I like vinyls, but I don't know. I'm not rushing to get the. I have reasonable doubt on vinyl.

[Damaris]

I know you do.

[Baby D]

I'm not rushing to get another one.

[Mal]

Get another case.

[Baby D]

Like, I. No, I like collecting and I think that stuff is really cool, but it's not like, at the top of my priority list to go get the 30th or 25th, whatever it is. 30th anniversary vinyl.

[Damaris]

I feel you.

[Baby D]

It's just not. I don't.

[Damaris]

You scared? Just say you scared. You don't want them to judge you, bro.

[Baby D]

Well, I shop at Target.

[Damaris]

Me too. I got so many Target bags in my house. Oh, God, I love shopping at Target. And I need a deodorant. Come out with a lawn chair. I don't even have a lawn.

[Baby D]

My way.

[Damaris]

I don't even have a lawn. Where am I gonna. Where am I taking this chair?

[Baby D]

Well, on my way to get throw pills, lows. If I walk past the 30th, I don't know if I'm gonna stop and be like, I need that. I still shop at Target. But no, It's. No, the 30th anniversary is not. The white one. Is not like, yeah, at the top of my list that I'm gonna have to camp outside of Target. But Jay Z is a businessman. I give it and sell your vinyls.

[Damaris]

And if you Want to boycott? Boycott, man. Do it.

[Baby D]

Y' all too.

[Damaris]

Yeah. Do what y' all do.

[Baby D]

And I understand why you'd feel away about it.

[Damaris]

Do what y' all do. I'm not here to tell you not to boycott. Do your thing.

[Baby D]

I don't know.

[Mal]

Speaking of abortions, did y' all see that that influencer couple is currently getting killed for the baby they were advertising? They found out it had down syndrome and then they decided to abort it. Did y' all see that?

[Baby D]

This is a big topic you wanted to talk about. You were really passionate about this one.

[Mal]

You're such a loser. You're such a loser.

[Baby D]

Like, you really wanted to dive deep into this mall.

[Damaris]

Yes.

[Mal]

Is that something you would want to do if you found out that the baby that your wife was carrying, y' all made the decision? Like, is that something you would agree with? She wanted to get rid of a baby that had down syndrome or any other, like, delay.

[Damaris]

If it's her choice, I support it.

[Mal]

But would you want. Not outside of her choice in your own brain, is that something that you would think about or that you would want to do?

[Damaris]

I think that's because again, you know, you talking about now bringing a baby into this world that you know is gonna have special needs, which means, like our whole, you know, the way we parent, the way we're able to parent has to change. We have to learn a lot of things. Even if it's a healthy baby, you still have to learn how to, you know, raise a child, especially when you're first time parents. But it's a different load to carry when you know it's gonna be a child with special needs. And if you and your partner decide that that's not something that y' all wanna do right now, then I see, I don't see no problem with it. Y' all the ones that have to raise this child. Like, that's y' all decision to make. Like, I don't. People killing this couple online for their decision to raise, you know, they don't want to bring a baby into this world that has special needs. I mean, that's just stupid. Like, why are you. That's their decision as a couple. That was their choice to make. Like, what they decide to do with, you know, their fetus and she decides to do with her body. It's her choice.

[Mal]

Yeah.

[Damaris]

I'm not opposed to it.

[Mal]

I think that, I think it's very mature for you to know that you ain't like, you ain't like that.

[Damaris]

You're not equipped to give.

[Mal]

You're not equipped to give.

[Damaris]

That's a different. You know, are low to carry. You know what I'm saying? And people need to be honest with themselves. Like, is this something you want to take on? Is this something you're ready for? And things like that. And once you and your partner have that decision, then who cares what people online say? Like, they're going to have something to say no matter what your decision is.

[Mal]

I guess one of the things with being a influencer or being a public figure or putting your life out there for consumption, like, I guess you shouldn't share nothing that you don't want to buy commenting on, because you're gonna have to deal with, you know, people's opinions.

[Damaris]

You have to accept all of it. Yeah. Good and bad.

[Mal]

The good and the bad.

[Damaris]

You have to accept all of it and the bad. And I think. I think they know that, though. Like, which is why they chose to share, you know, their decision. They know that they have to accept whatever comes with them posting their, you know, private life and their private business. So, yeah. I mean, again, if you and your partner decide that we're not ready for that, we can't take that on right now. That is too much of a load for us to carry in this relationship, then, you know, so be it. It is what it is.

[Baby D]

Well, two things. It's their decision. Cool. I just realized who this was in

[Damaris]

the middle of Nuggets.

[Baby D]

Do you guys remember when psycho kid ruined Thanksgiving 11 years ago? I just realized who this was.

[Mal]

That's him.

[Baby D]

That's him. I just realized when I saw that mcjugger.

[Damaris]

I like, I remember Psycho kid ruining things.

[Mal]

Well, he flipped the table.

[Baby D]

He flipped the table. It was fake for sure, but it was one of the most. I just realized who this was.

[Mal]

That's him. That's crazy.

[Baby D]

That's him.

[Mal]

Oh, that is him. Oh, wow.

[Baby D]

Mo, you remember this video? You definitely remember this, of this kid flipping the table over, screaming at his family?

[Damaris]

No, this was on the white algorithm, I think.

[Baby D]

Okay, so this was big on the white algorithm.

[Damaris]

Yeah.

[Baby D]

And this kid had, like, a whole YouTube career of doing, like. It was clearly fake fake videos with his pops of them, like, fighting and all this shit. I just realized that's who we were talking about.

[Damaris]

Wow.

[Baby D]

Like it said in. While you guys were talking, I was like, I've seen that name before.

[Damaris]

Mcjugger Nuggets. That is a name you can't forget.

[Cindy Crawford]

Yo.

[Mal]

I don't know how you. I literally remember.

[Baby D]

I mean, this was the most violent every Thanksgiving for 10 years, this would pop up again.

[Damaris]

Well, he politely flipped the table over. That is the most polite table flip I've ever seen in my life.

[Baby D]

Well, no, the funniest part of this video is when they were going around saying what they were thankful for, and he was like, I'm thankful for the captain in Halo and Xbox.

[Mal]

Yeah, yeah, I remember that.

[Baby D]

He's kind of like a hero to me, but you wouldn't understand that. And then just freaked out.

[Damaris]

Oh, he's one of those kids. Okay, got it.

[Mal]

Ma. To make less serious, if you knew. If there was a way that you could know your baby was going to be ugly before it came out, would you.

[Baby D]

Oh, my God.

[Damaris]

All right.

[Baby D]

That's all right.

[Damaris]

If I knew that my baby was

[Baby D]

a separate topic, right?

[Boost Mobile Announcer]

Yeah.

[Mal]

If you knew your baby was going to be ugly before it came out, something completely different.

[Damaris]

Yeah.

[Mal]

You knew it was gonna be ugly, Would you.

[Baby D]

I don't think you think it's possible for mall to have an ugly child.

[Mal]

You trying to like, you know how you trying to start?

[Damaris]

I think it depends on who my baby mom would be. Because I'm handsome.

[Baby D]

That's what I'm saying. No, no, no, All y'.

[Damaris]

All.

[Baby D]

I mean, that's. That's the point I'm making. I'm saying no matter who the child's mother was, I just think Mal's genes would like an ugly baby.

[Damaris]

Yeah, I would have.

[Baby D]

I'm not saying. Maybe it wouldn't be a model if he found a child's mother that we personally deemed.

[Damaris]

Not that I had business. No, say it. I had no business laying down with. Say it. Rory, you can say it.

[Mal]

No, you have an ugly baby. I don't see two cute people have an ugly baby. Yo, I'm not gonna. Why would I name people?

[Damaris]

Cause I'm tired of you saying.

[Boost Mobile Announcer]

And you ain't your.

[Mal]

Who ain't? No way. You ain't never seen two cute people that had an ugly baby before?

[Baby D]

Not really.

[Damaris]

Two good looking parents have an ugly child. I've never seen it.

[Baby D]

Yeah, and that's all subjective.

[Damaris]

I've never seen it. I'm talking about like, hands down attractive people.

[Baby D]

I have not.

[Damaris]

And you're like, no, they're a good

[Mal]

looking couple and you hands down attractive.

[Damaris]

And they don't have. And have an ugly child.

[Mal]

No, I'm saying. And you're hands down attractive. Like, hands down. Like, there's nobody that would say you was unattractive.

[Damaris]

Me.

[Cal Penn]

Yeah.

[Damaris]

No, there's plenty of people that say I'm unattractive.

[Cindy Crawford]

Okay.

[Mal]

I was just wondering if you were considering yourself hands down.

[Damaris]

Do I think I'm very attractive?

[Mal]

Talk your like.

[Baby D]

Like fate like facial features.

[Damaris]

I see some of the women dates that call me ugly. I see some of their boyfriends.

[Mal]

Oh, yeah, boy, when I be in a Facebook group and it be calling me mid and I click that facebow profile, I be like, your mama ugly. Your grandma was ugly, Your daughter ugly. All of them is ugly. You calling me ugly?

[Damaris]

Yeah, for sure. I smell good. I got all my teeth. I make a lot of money. I'm attractive.

[Mal]

Talk your shit.

[Baby D]

Yeah, but the kid doesn't care.

[Mal]

The kid? The smelling good and the like, the. All your. You know what I'm saying? Like the smelling good. You having money don't help the kids.

[Damaris]

Like, oh, that don't help. Oh, it does it. If you. If you. If you. If you meet a guy, Damaris, and his parents are well off.

[Mal]

Very true.

[Damaris]

And he ain't that attractive. You gonna find a way to like something about that nigga.

[Mal]

I like him on my house. I won't procreate.

[Damaris]

If his family got a house in the hampus that you can go lay out at the poolside every summer, you gonna find a way to go on a date with him every now and then.

[Mal]

Yeah, but I'm not. Procreating is different.

[Damaris]

Oh, no, no, no. Procreating is different.

[Mal]

Procreating is different. Yes.

[Damaris]

But I've never seen two unattractive people, two attractive people have an unattractive kid.

[Mal]

I've seen two ugly people have a cute kid, too.

[Baby D]

I think both of you guys are attractive. I think Damaris and Maul are very, very attractive people. Was this peach that made the version of their baby?

[Damaris]

Justin Maris, right there.

[Baby D]

Jamaris is beautiful.

[Damaris]

Jamaris is beautiful. Come on, man. Look at Jamaris. You look at our baby.

[Mal]

Baby. That's not our baby. That's not our baby.

[Damaris]

Baby D so mad. That's our baby.

[Mal]

It's not our baby.

[Baby D]

That's not what y' all baby would look like. Like, at all if y' all had a kid. Your kid would not look like that.

[Mal]

Why y' all laying our baby fat?

[Damaris]

What they trying to say, Baby D? We got high blood pressure or something? Like, fuck y', all, man.

[Mal]

Ma, you got a lot of fat

[Baby D]

people in your family.

[Damaris]

I got fat people in my family. Not a lot, but there's some heavy motherfuckers in my family. For sure, but not a lot.

[Mal]

Like, diabetes runs prevalent in my family. I have some big Motherfuckers too.

[Damaris]

Oh, if I family in the South. Yeah. Cause it's that diet. It's the diet. Hand down from big Mama. And them. They handing down the same bullshit every year. I don't care about that sweet potato pie with that half a bag of sugar in it. Don't give me that. I can't feel my feet when I go to lay down. I don't want grandma's recipe. Grandma was trying to kill us, man. I don't. Don't give me nothing you got from Big Mama. Numb. Don't make it the way big mama made it.

[Baby D]

I like my big toe.

[Damaris]

Yeah. I don't want that shit, man. I don't want it.

[Mal]

No, it's okay to eat that stuff. You just can't eat it regularly. Like, you can't eat that shit regularly.

[Damaris]

Thanksgiving is cool. We can go crazy.

[Baby D]

No holidays. Yeah, but no eating that shit on a random.

[Damaris]

On a random Wednesday. Yeah, exactly. You tripping in there. That's why when y' all said y' all wanted to make a turkey and all that for the game.

[Baby D]

It's been 53 years. It's more important than Thanksgiving now.

[Damaris]

Y' all wanted to make a Thanksgiving spread for game four. I was like, y' all are crazy.

[Mal]

Yeah, it was game five, actually, and I should have made it because we won.

[Damaris]

That would have been lit. That would have been a Thanksgiving spread. Have a whole spread and the Knicks won. That would have been crazy. Yeah, like, that have been crazy. We would have woke up. It would have been. The news would have been on all kind of. We ain't even see the end of the game. Nah, that would have been a bad idea, man. You can't do that.

[Mal]

Okay, so, yeah, if I found out

[Damaris]

my baby was ugly.

[Ryan]

Yeah, you got.

[Damaris]

Get out. Get him up out of there.

[Baby D]

All right. But an ugly baby. I've seen.

[Damaris]

Cuz this world is harsh.

[Baby D]

I've seen. I've seen.

[Damaris]

This world is bad.

[Baby D]

Natural bad. Not like they got work or anything. I've seen their baby pictures before and they look nuts. Sometimes you grow into your features.

[Damaris]

Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Jeff T]

That's the thing.

[Baby D]

So you don't know.

[Damaris]

Like, I want the ugly, like, are

[Baby D]

still provide for society too. Like, what's wrong?

[Damaris]

Yeah, we all need to laugh. Yeah, we need something to laugh.

[Baby D]

There's probably, by beauty standards, there's probably more ugly people than there are pretty people.

[Damaris]

No, there's more ugly people than pretty people.

[Baby D]

By. By society standards.

[Mal]

I think by society standards, the average black person is like mid. Like Good. Like, you're good. You're not gorgeous. You're not ugly. I'm going. I'm judging off black people. I'm not including white people in my.

[Baby D]

Ironically, white people are very much black and white. Like, there's not a lot of gray area with white people.

[Ryan]

And look. Looks.

[Damaris]

Yeah, y', all, it's.

[Baby D]

It's either hideous or. That's a very attractive person.

[Damaris]

Yeah, there's really not much Robbie or Barbra Streisand. There's no, like.

[Mal]

Oh, my God.

[Baby D]

You're not wrong.

[Damaris]

Yeah.

[Baby D]

Like, with the wife, it gets way

[Mal]

worse than Barbra Streisand. Y' all bug the show.

[Jeff T]

I'm just.

[Damaris]

I love Barbara, who was.

[Baby D]

Who was the author from the beginning of the episode.

[Damaris]

And Cameron.

[Baby D]

That's what most white people look like.

[Damaris]

They're either Margot Robbins or Ann Cameron as a white woman. Like, it's no in between. Yeah, yeah, absolutely.

[Baby D]

So, yeah, I mean, if you found out your baby's gonna be uglies. So what? That's so super.

[Damaris]

That's white privilege talking. See, you could be ugly and white. You gonna be.

[Mal]

People expect it. Peach.

[Jeff T]

Oh, pe.

[Damaris]

You trying to take us there?

[Mal]

Huh?

[Jeff T]

Pe.

[Damaris]

Just let me know if you trying to take us there.

[Mal]

Peach.

[Baby D]

We have company.

[Damaris]

I'll go. I have no problem going.

[Baby D]

We're not like this, by the way.

[Damaris]

I promise, once I leave the studio, I don't go. I don't be online like y'.

[Cal Penn]

All.

[Damaris]

I don't know what people are saying. I don't give a fuck. Y' all gonna have to deal with that shit. Me, I don't give a fuck if I found out my baby's gonna be gay.

[Baby D]

Oh, my God, Ma.

[Damaris]

All right, all right, all right. Hold on. Come on. It's nuances. There are nuances to this. Is it a gay woman?

[Mal]

Ma, that's not a nuance.

[Baby D]

We expect a nuance. I love that. You think that's a nuance.

[Damaris]

Is she a lesbian? Because I'm just saying, if I have a gay son, it's like my. Like, my bloodline. Like, you know, I mean, listen, my last name stops there.

[Mal]

No, it don't. It's mad at you. It's mad clays.

[Damaris]

Yeah, but I'm talking about. Yeah, but me, like, Ma, I gotta have a junior that's gonna have a. He gonna have a.

[Baby D]

You could have another son that may be straight.

[Damaris]

Yeah, but, I mean, what we doing with him?

[Mal]

Come on.

[Damaris]

He ain't gonna hoop. He ain't gonna play football. What are we doing there's?

[Baby D]

Mad gay that hoop and play football also on top. You talk about one of them all the time. That's true. Well, he can nut in a cup, and there can be. I don't want an actual biological grandkid.

[Damaris]

You want a nut in the cup grandkid.

[Baby D]

I mean, if he was gay, I'd probably be the only.

[Damaris]

Nah, bro, I don't want no nut in the cup grandkid. You better bring a girl home that you had sex with nothing. A cup. Get out of here. That ain't my grandbaby. That ain't my grandbaby. That's a test tube, baby.

[Mal]

Stop.

[Damaris]

I'm sorry.

[Baby D]

You don't think IVF is. Is your kid?

[Damaris]

Yeah.

[Baby D]

Cause that. That all right. It's the same fucking thing.

[Damaris]

Yeah, but you a test tube baby, though, at the end of the day, like, if you have. You don't hit that. If you don't hit the back of that thing when you bring that girl to the cookout, if you ain't hitting that right. Come on, family. Come on.

[Baby D]

You know people that have done that and you consider them their kids, that's their kid. But if he's like, it's 1,000% their kid. It's not even a debate.

[Damaris]

That's their kid. But if he has asthma, I'm not surprised.

[Baby D]

Some dust got in the tube.

[Damaris]

Let's just say if he has, you know, an autoimmune disease, I'm not surprised.

[Baby D]

Like, there were some dust bunnies in the office.

[Damaris]

I'm just not surprised.

[Baby D]

He was not. His lungs were not ready.

[Boost Mobile Announcer]

Yeah.

[Damaris]

If he has asthma, if he's the new polio case in Manhattan, maybe. I don't know. You know, whatever. I'm just talking, man.

[Baby D]

I know you're just talking.

[Mal]

I'm laughing at that.

[Baby D]

Today's show is brought to you by our presenting sponsor, Hard Rock Bet. That is Florida's sportsbook mall. The world's biggest soccer slash football, depending on where you're from, is here. Everyone is watching. National pride is on the line for the next month. Every single match feels like it's the finals. If you haven't tried Hard Rock Bet yet, there's no better time to get in the game. Hard Rock Bet is the top rated sportsbook app built to viva la culpa. Exactly. And if there's one thing I can bet it was yesterday that the Spanish and Caverdean women were outside. But whether you're back in your country or betting on your favorite superstar or building a same game parlay for the biggest matches of the tournament. Hard Rock is your way to get into the action.

[Damaris]

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[Jeff T]

This is Jeff t. From the Club 520 podcast. Oh my goodness. Now this is a performance you do not want to miss. The Dell xps powered by Intel Core Ultra. It's got the sauce. We're talking speed, style, stamina, bam. And a long lasting battery life unheard of in this league. So whether you're using it for the next level, creativity, never ending productivity, or the entertainment that has you on the edge of your seat, this laptop is your mvp. Just look at the hustle. Is there anything you can't do? From the first second of the action all the way through to overtime, this thing is a powerhouse. The Dell xps built for those with all the right moves. Built for you. 5 technology built to take your game

[Damaris]

up a [e-mail] XPS.

[Cal Penn]

Hey everyone, it's Cal Penn, host of Irsay, The Audible and iHeart Audiobook Club. This week on the podcast, I'm sitting down with Lily Chu, the author of the Audible original romantic comedy Just Kiss Already. It's a story about a forensic anthropologist who secretly writes mystery novels, an actress who adapts his book into a film, and what happens when a meme and a media tour collide with a slow burn romance. It's performed by Simu Liu and Philippa Hsu, and it is an absolute blast.

[Mal]

When you actually hear the performance, you realize that other people are taking your words and what you thought was kind of a straightforward sentence like, the cat in the corner is black. In my head, it's the cat in the corner is black. Not the dog, not the gerbil. But someone else might say it, the cat in the corner is black. That's always fascinating to me how they just bring in all these different nuances and really make it fun and interesting and distinctive.

[Cal Penn]

Listen to Earsay, the Audible and iHeart Audiobook Club on the iHeartradio app or wherever you get your podcasts.

[Cindy Crawford]

Hi, I'm Cindy Crawford and I'm the founder of Meaningful Beauty. Well, I don't know about you, but, like, I never liked being told, oh, wow, you look so good for your age. Like, why even bother saying that? Why don't you just say you look great at any age? Every age. That's what Meaningful Beauty is all about. We create products that make you feel confident in your skin at the age you are now. Meaningful Beauty. Beautiful skin at every age. Learn [e-mail].

[Baby D]

I mean, you saw the. The couple that their IVF got up and they just kept the kid.

[Damaris]

What do you mean the IVF got up?

[Jeff T]

They.

[Baby D]

They. They put the. The wrong sperm inside of her and that baby came out. Not like him.

[Damaris]

Oh, wait, this is real. See, I gotta ask.

[Baby D]

It's like the plot.

[Damaris]

I don't know what's real anymore.

[Baby D]

No, it's on tmz.

[Mal]

Nah, I shouldn't.

[Damaris]

It's on tmz, so it's real.

[Mal]

Oh, that's a beautiful baby. Though I would have kept it, too. That's a beautiful baby.

[Baby D]

But if it was ugly this is not.

[Damaris]

This isn't real.

[Baby D]

No, it's. No, it's actually real. They did it.

[Mal]

It's 100% real.

[Damaris]

Is it for real?

[Mal]

Yeah, yeah.

[Baby D]

They messed up at the IVF thing and gave her the wrong sperm, and

[Mal]

they struck a deal with the biological parents. Scroll down.

[Damaris]

Struck a deal?

[Mal]

Yeah. They implanted the wrong embryo, so.

[Damaris]

Struck a deal?

[Mal]

Yes.

[Damaris]

Sign a trade. Do we get, like, three pics?

[Mal]

The embryos were switched out. That not.

[Baby D]

That's how we got Bridges.

[Damaris]

Yeah. Struck what deal? Like, was Dolan there?

[Ryan]

To the.

[Damaris]

The negotiation table.

[Mal]

So they got her embryos mixed up. They implanted the wrong embryo in the wrong. So now if I was the black, I'd be pissed. If I was the black parents, I'd be pissed. Don't give me no white baby they got.

[Damaris]

But they. Somebody can sue for this, though. No, no, they're suing for sure. Okay.

[Mal]

Yeah, they're. They're suing for sure. That baby's gorgeous. That's crazy.

[Baby D]

Wait, but. Okay, so can the real embryo. Like, do they. Can they ask for their baby back? Because this couple's keeping them.

[Damaris]

I want my baby back. Baby back, baby, baby back ribs.

[Jeff T]

I want my baby back, baby.

[Baby D]

I believe Chili is the name of the kid.

[Damaris]

Baby back ribs. I want my baby back. Baby back, baby. You said you want your baby back. I want my baby back.

[Mal]

Mom, please, this is serious.

[Damaris]

I'm sorry.

[Baby D]

They want permanent custody as parents reached

[Mal]

a custody agreement with the daughter's biological parents. Yeah. They gave them the right to continue as their biological parents. Now I would want my baby. Oh, look at that baby. Oh, my God, it's gorgeous.

[Baby D]

Baby's Guyanese for sure.

[Damaris]

That's definitely a Guyanese. 101 million Guyanese for sure.

[Mal]

That's crazy.

[Baby D]

I mean, we've had this conversation in other ways, but. No, I'm. I'm gonna give the baby back.

[Damaris]

I want more.

[Mal]

We get it. Yeah.

[Baby D]

You're keeping the kid.

[Mal]

What the that mean?

[Baby D]

Oh, finally you're on our side. Oh, my God.

[Damaris]

Oh, my. You finally turn the pen. What the fuck?

[Cal Penn]

Nothing.

[Baby D]

I'm crazy.

[Mal]

For so long, lay in that plane. Land that plane. I'm not even understanding where you are.

[Baby D]

You have argued down multiple. We've ran this conversation into the fucking ground. When Ma and I said if we found out a kid was not ours, no matter how many years it was, I'm cool. That's not my kid. And you looked at us like we was fucking nuts.

[Mal]

I told y', all, if y' all found out at five years old, 10 years old, 18 years old. That baby. Six months. Yeah. Yeah.

[Baby D]

You can get back nine. Add the nine.

[Damaris]

So if you found out my baby wasn't yours, five years later, you still

[Mal]

like, well, the baby's black, so.

[Damaris]

Okay.

[Mal]

But five years later, I've created a connection to the baby.

[Damaris]

It'll be a black baby, but it wasn't yours.

[Mal]

Okay. I've created. I've created a connection to the baby. Five years from then six months. Nah, you still got time. You still got time. My goldfish lasts longer than six months. Like, you still got time.

[Baby D]

Pull up those conversations, because I feel

[Mal]

like I always says five or eight years. No, I never said. I always said five years or 18 years. You tried it hoe.

[Baby D]

No, you tried it.

[Mal]

Pull it up. Pull it up. Pull it up. Won't gaslight me.

[Jeff T]

Pull it up.

[Baby D]

I think you said as soon as the baby came out.

[Mal]

No, that was. That was Carl saying, I'm not raising another man's nut.

[Baby D]

For sure. You have to give the baby back.

[Mal]

Yeah. You got to get the baby back.

[Damaris]

All right.

[Baby D]

But what if the baby was white and wasn't theirs? It's just because it's a black baby.

[Mal]

No, I'm talking about what I. Give the baby up or not. I don't think that they should give the baby up. The parents agreed that. Let them keep it.

[Baby D]

Well, if you're doing ivf, and I mean this respectfully, it's because there's complications. And I'm sure. I'm sure adopting was on the table at some point when you're trying to do ivf. So I get their perspective of, like. I mean, it doesn't matter, because we were probably thinking of adopting if this didn't work. So you want to have a kid. I get that part, but I'd have some questions out the gate. That's all.

[Damaris]

Yeah. I feel you maybe see it. It would really be interesting for you if this was your case, though, because your baby mothers would. Your baby mom would be a black woman.

[Baby D]

Okay.

[Damaris]

So the baby would come out probably, you know.

[Baby D]

Yeah.

[Damaris]

A little brown.

[Baby D]

Okay.

[Damaris]

Right. There's a chance. Amara didn't, but there's a chance.

[Jeff T]

I agree.

[Damaris]

There's a chance.

[Baby D]

If Key and I have another kid, there would be a chance that maybe the other child would be a little darker than Amar. Because that. That's. I've seen that happen with.

[Damaris]

Yeah.

[Baby D]

With parent. Like, interracial, where one kid is way darker than the other, and that's both their parents.

[Damaris]

Right.

[Baby D]

That's how you know the sperm lands. Yeah, but. Nah, it's just not my kid.

[Damaris]

If it ain't my kid, take it back. Take it back.

[Baby D]

And that's out of respect to whose kid it is.

[Mal]

Yeah, but what if they said, nah, keep it like that baby came out your pussy, like you keep it the.

[Baby D]

The real father. Yeah, well, that's something the two of y' all have to deal with. I didn't. Y'.

[Jeff T]

All.

[Damaris]

He running from responsibility.

[Baby D]

Yeah, that's something. That's something you gotta do. I was here to be responsible when I thought it was mine. But this is a you. This is y' all thing.

[Damaris]

Take care of your responsibilities, man.

[Baby D]

Yeah, the. That gotta do with me.

[Damaris]

You the pappy. You the pappy.

[Baby D]

Now all of a sudden, I gotta run around and find every deadbeat father like that ain't my world.

[Mal]

Amen.

[Baby D]

And none of y' all even wish me happy Father's Day. That's crazy.

[Damaris]

When is Father's Day?

[Baby D]

Sunday.

[Mal]

Oh, happy Father's Day.

[Damaris]

It's this coming Sunday. It ain't Father's Day.

[Baby D]

Yo, Ryan. Clapping is funny.

[Damaris]

Ryan, what are you clapping for?

[Baby D]

No, that's why I'm laughing. He clapping is funny.

[Damaris]

Ryan.

[Boost Mobile Announcer]

Clapping.

[Damaris]

Ryan, clapping like you answered something right. He said, clapping for Father's Day is crazy.

[Baby D]

But then y' all always say y' all want your flowers, and now we

[Mal]

give y' all y' all flowers.

[Damaris]

Mother's Day. Who claps for Mother's Day? Yo, it's Mother. Yo, my mom is Mother's Day. Yo, I'm saying, don't do that any.

[Baby D]

Anytime. Anytime there's a speech or someone coming on stage, they'll be like, oh, and she's a mother. The whole crowd erupts. Don't do that. No one's ever been like, and he's a father, and people clap.

[Damaris]

I think that's. I think it's weird when people clap when the plane lands. Were we not expecting to land?

[Cal Penn]

Like, what the.

[Damaris]

Are we sometimes, like, clapping for somebody saying, it's Mother's Day? And people just start clapping like, what are you.

[Mal]

Well, let's. Let's give it up for all the. All the present fathers. Let's give it up for all the present.

[Damaris]

Only because the marriage said give it up. If the marathon said give it up. That's black term for clap. Give it up for the fathers. The present fathers, the good fathers.

[Cal Penn]

Rory,

[Damaris]

J.K. faceTime me, man. What's up?

[Baby D]

Oh, yeah, we're supposed to do that today. No, that was my Fault. That's me being a bad son.

[Mal]

Yeah.

[Baby D]

No, we're supposed to be that yesterday.

[Damaris]

Exactly. Exactly, man.

[Baby D]

My bad.

[Damaris]

Yo, whose shirt is that back there?

[Cal Penn]

Peace.

[Damaris]

That's yours.

[Baby D]

I saw that. And that. That was.

[Damaris]

I don't worry about Pete just coming home with me. Don't worry.

[Mal]

Well, I mean, his grandma died.

[Baby D]

Yeah. He wasn't here.

[Damaris]

Oh, I'm sorry, Peach. Yeah, no, Peach was here.

[Mal]

He was here. But, like, he had a lot on his mind, like.

[Baby D]

Oh, yeah, I did see that laying there. I was like, who left?

[Mal]

Yeah.

[Baby D]

I was so disrespectful.

[Damaris]

That's Peach. It's all right, though. Peach is my guy. Only. Only Peach could do that.

[Mal]

No, but shout out to Roy. Rory is a very present loving, dedicated.

[Damaris]

He washed dishes the night the Knicks won the championship. It doesn't get more fatherly than that. Listen, man, clap for that.

[Baby D]

Ryan and I let her sleep in the bed with me.

[Damaris]

He washed dishes the night the knicks broke the 53 year curse. A man was in the kitchen washing dishes. Jesus.

[Baby D]

God forbid I did what I was supposed to do.

[Damaris]

Yeah, but not that night. I don't wash dishes the night the knicks break a 53 year curse.

[Mal]

What do you do?

[Baby D]

Do whatever you want to do someone for being a present father is hilarious these days. No, I get it. No, I don't think I deserve a cookie for.

[Mal]

Well, I didn't congratulate you. I didn't say, yo, congratulations like you want, so I said, give it up.

[Baby D]

Give it up is a congratulations.

[Mal]

I think just because you do something that you're supposed to know, that's congratulations is like, you achieved something. Yes, I'm applauding the fish for swimming. Yeah, I'm applauding the fish for swimming. Because. Just because you do something that you're supposed to do doesn't mean that people shouldn't, like, give you credit for it.

[Baby D]

You should be appreciated. I just think it's funny when people want credit for that, like. Like raising their. No.

[Mal]

Wanting credit. No, but you should be giving it, like, for a present.

[Baby D]

Good mother. Appreciate your vibes.

[Mal]

They have appreciation. That's why I was giving you appreciation.

[Baby D]

And I appreciate that. Are you doing anything for your dad?

[Mal]

He want. He. I'm like, what do you want? He, like, I don't really want nothing, you know, I just want you to

[Damaris]

think women hate when we ask them, what do you want? I don't want to think of something. Get creative. I don't know.

[Jeff T]

Yeah, yeah.

[Damaris]

But then you ask your dad, what do you want?

[Mal]

Okay. So you don't understand. My dad is an old, grumpy man. Like, if I was to take him to some extravagant brunch in the city on a rooftop, and it was beautiful, some shit that would be nice that most people would appreciate, he would hate it. Why are there people around? Why is the food taking so long? He old and grumpy, so it's like. Okay, so what do you want to do? He like, well, you know my dream. I would like to have all my children together. We're spread across the 50 states. Guy, what do you want? What else do you want? Oh, I would like for you to cook. What do you want? Okay, I'll cook. What do you want? I don't know. Just, you know, whatever you feel like putting love into and cooking for me, you can do. Okay, dad. Thanks so much for narrowing that down like.

[Damaris]

Yeah. So what's his favorite dish? You know what his favorite dish.

[Mal]

I do know his favorite dish. It's too hot to make his favorite dish. He about to get cookout food. You can cook out food.

[Baby D]

All right, so cookout. Father's Day cookout at your spot. No.

[Damaris]

Damn. I was hoping you did.

[Mal]

Where you dad? Oh, sorry.

[Damaris]

Never met him. But what if I did? See how fast it get awkward?

[Mal]

I know you know your daddy. I know you know your daddy.

[Baby D]

I've met your dad.

[Mal]

Like, please.

[Damaris]

Yeah, my pop's probably uptown.

[Mal]

Oh, Roy, you got your own daughter. It's. It's about you now, Amara. Got to do stuff for you.

[Baby D]

My three year olds. Yeah, okay. Got you.

[Damaris]

Like, what do you think Amar got planned for Royal?

[Jeff T]

Yeah.

[Baby D]

This broad better take me to brunch.

[Damaris]

What do you think his three year old daughter has planned for him?

[Mal]

Yo, calling white women broads is master.

[Baby D]

It's my favorite thing to do. The word broad is the funniest on her.

[Mal]

It's so funny when people always say, like, for Mother's Day, mothers go out, celebrate, leave their kids. But for Father's Day, it's always expected that fathers spend the day with their kids.

[Baby D]

Like I told y' all last year, on the pod. Father's Day. Spending Father's Day with your kids is for absentee fathers. Last year I said leave me the alone.

[Damaris]

Your fathers are simple mothers. You got to wait online at the restaurants, and all of that. That's for mom.

[Baby D]

Yeah. Overpriced dads.

[Damaris]

Yeah, dads don't want that. Just shut up. The game is on. Shut up. So you gotta do for dad get them a case of beer.

[Mal]

My dad wants to spend Every Father's Day with me, he wants to. He has four children. I have to collect as many of them, like Pokemon as possible.

[Damaris]

Collecting your sisters as Pokemon.

[Mal]

Like, every year he wants to spend with his.

[Damaris]

Well, that's what he's supposed to want. That's a man's wealth, seeing his tribe all under the same house.

[Mal]

Yeah.

[Damaris]

You know what I mean? Yeah. Cause y' all gonna have to take care of him once dad got away. Them depends who gonna bathe them. You're not gonna put him in the. In the home. Right. So one of y' all gonna have to take care of.

[Mal]

How nice is the home?

[Damaris]

You're not putting your father. Your father in the home.

[Mal]

How nice is it?

[Damaris]

Damaris. You're not doing that.

[Ryan]

How nice.

[Damaris]

I know you. You not putting your father in the home.

[Mal]

The home we had my grandmother's in was some fire shit. They had a bakery in there. Like, it was fire.

[Damaris]

You are not putting your father in nobody's home, bro. You will be there foot in hand on your dad if he needs it. Hopefully he doesn't. You ain't putting your dad in no senior home. You're not doing that. Cut the shit.

[Mal]

If he got, like, a golf course or some fire shit.

[Damaris]

Cause he might go there by himself. He might. He might walk himself in.

[Mal]

Homes be fire now, like. You know what I'm saying?

[Damaris]

Like, yeah, they got activities. Bingo every night. Yeah. I show you.

[Mal]

There some baddies in there.

[Jeff T]

Yeah.

[Damaris]

Some old. You know what I mean? Lonely grandma's in there.

[Baby D]

My grandmother, on New Year's Eve, they. They sent us a photo. She had the New Year's Eve crown on. They was bowling in the hallway.

[Damaris]

Yeah. Yo, what's that pins in the hallway? What's our guy's name that was in the home? And he was asking for head. He said he wanted some head. Remember the old white dude?

[Baby D]

That was a voicemail. Him.

[Damaris]

No. You remember the video? He was like, I just want. I just want my dick sucked. You don't remember that?

[Mal]

I remember that.

[Damaris]

Oh, my. He's a legend. What was his name?

[Mal]

I don't remember his name, but I remember.

[Baby D]

I mean, either way, whether it be like, make a wish kids or men in homes, that's usually the wish that they want.

[Damaris]

It's every man's wish on every night.

[Mal]

Like, I thought, like, make. Make a wish kids usually, like, wanted.

[Damaris]

That's my wish for the night.

[Mal]

Jaylen Brunson. Like, I don't. I don't. I don't think the make a wish kids is Asking for head. They want like Disney World or like Disney World.

[Baby D]

No, they're scared to say it out loud. Yeah, but they still going through puberty.

[Ryan]

Yeah.

[Damaris]

If I was like in my early 20s, dying from a.

[Mal]

That's not puberty.

[Damaris]

Serious disease. And that's not.

[Boost Mobile Announcer]

Make a wish.

[Baby D]

Kiddies that are 12 years old are probably in their head. They're like, I would love titties in my face.

[Damaris]

Yeah, I would love to suck.

[Cal Penn]

They just.

[Baby D]

They're not gonna say it out loud.

[Damaris]

But that's probably how they came to my bedside when I was 14 and Diana cancer. And she asked me, what do you want, young man? Just pop one of those luscious Latin titties in my mouth. I saw dusk until dawn. Was it dusk until dawn, Dust till dawn. I saw it. I saw it. Pop one of those luscious Latin titties in my mouth, please. I want some horchata.

[Baby D]

Greatest nude scenes of all time.

[Damaris]

Give me some horchata.

[Baby D]

Like, I really think the kids that

[Mal]

like, can we rap?

[Baby D]

Like, I think the kids that are stage four,

[Damaris]

I would have matched with some hata. Please give me some H. Yo, we

[Mal]

gotta be like, we?

[Damaris]

Y' all don't like.

[Baby D]

You think he's wrong, though? Yeah, I don't think he's wrong at all.

[Damaris]

I don't like H. Just tell me. I don't like h. I don't think

[Mal]

the kids that are dying of cancer are thinking about titties like, they want.

[Baby D]

Like they're at game world for cat to come to their bedside. Open Jordan Wood show.

[Damaris]

If I was dying cancer at 16 and y' all bought call Anthony town to my bed. I would shoot up the whole ward like y'.

[Baby D]

All boy, Cat, how much was Ruby Rose?

[Jeff T]

Yeah.

[Damaris]

Where was young Miami at? She was just on the floor.

[Baby D]

What the. I don't want a basketball player next to me.

[Damaris]

I don't want Carl Anthony see a

[Baby D]

nip slip or something.

[Damaris]

Bring young Miami in here. Like, what are you talking about? Carl Anthony. And we have Carl Anthony to.

[Mal]

No.

[Damaris]

Where is young Miami at? I don't want to see Carl Anthony Towns.

[Baby D]

I don't want cab like you give me homie hope. Yeah.

[Damaris]

No, I don't lying.

[Cal Penn]

Yeah.

[Damaris]

Where's young Miami at, Carl? Get out of my room. That's what I would be saying. Carl Anthony Townsend. I'm dying from cancer. Get the out of here or find

[Baby D]

a hot like high priced escort and let's quietly see.

[Mal]

You do know that that's like not legal. Like the escorting or the of a Child, like, neither one of them is legal.

[Baby D]

Okay, prosecute me when I'm dead. Like I'm.

[Mal]

No, they're not gonna prosecute you. They're gonna prosecute the escort and the person that hired.

[Baby D]

Okay, well, make a wish.

[Damaris]

Yeah, it was my. Make a wish. You can't prosecute for somebody for they make a wish.

[Baby D]

It's a 513C.

[Damaris]

Yeah, yeah, it's his law. You can't. You can't do that. Can't.

[Baby D]

You don't even pay taxes on that.

[Damaris]

Can't even do that.

[Mal]

Oh, man, do we have voicemails?

[Damaris]

Do we?

[Baby D]

Please, please. I think we have one. And I think we. We figured out who's the.

[Damaris]

Yo, what up, what up, what up?

[Cindy Crawford]

Huh?

[Baby D]

We figured out who.

[Boost Mobile Announcer]

Oh.

[Mal]

So we did a poll on New Rory Mall, and the person who was the least homophobic on the podcast. Peach didn't make himself only an hour for some reason.

[Baby D]

No, we need to let this sit for a little bit.

[Mal]

I'm smoking, y'. All. Refresh it, refresh it.

[Jeff T]

Ryan.

[Damaris]

Wait, wait, hold up.

[Baby D]

No, I'm shocked that even 11 you have.

[Damaris]

So are they saying 11 meaning, like. Like, I am.

[Mal]

No, sweet.

[Baby D]

No, it should be 0%.

[Mal]

Who is the least homophobic person on this podcast? I'm currently in the running for least homophobic. Rory's a close second, and you're trailing behind in third, buddy.

[Damaris]

That's just because people don't know me, that's all.

[Mal]

They listen to you four times a week past 10 years.

[Damaris]

They don't know me.

[Baby D]

You just talked about aborting your gay son, so I don't really know if you have much to stand on right now.

[Damaris]

Get Mada there. You're out.

[Baby D]

I'm offended by this, though. Even though Damaris is part of that community, she. Come on. She won't even date a man if a man touches another man. That's almost true.

[Damaris]

The marriage, definitely.

[Baby D]

It's on record.

[Damaris]

The marriage definitely wouldn't date a. I can grow. You wouldn't. You wouldn't. You wouldn't date a. You met with a brunch in Jersey

[Mal]

on, I think, wearing another man. Never mind.

[Damaris]

Say it.

[Baby D]

My pop, my pops.

[Damaris]

We got another two hours for these polls to go down.

[Mal]

Nope.

[Baby D]

And let's do the poll again after they hear this episode. Let's do part two poll tomorrow.

[Damaris]

Yeah, yeah, let's do that.

[Baby D]

That's Midpod poll. Let's do post pod poll.

[Mal]

I don't think it's gay. I don't think it's gay. A Little Dick Rider.

[Jeff T]

Ish.

[Mal]

But I don't think it's gay wearing another man name on your back. You riding dick a little bit, but I don't think it's gay.

[Damaris]

It's not bad. He gotta be way older than you, though.

[Baby D]

A throwback is okay. Oh, yeah.

[Mal]

If you 40.

[Damaris]

If you 40. If you older than brunching and you got his jersey on.

[Baby D]

If y' all would have heard the. Heard the things my pop said during the Jersey era. I was 12 or 13 when I was wearing Jersey. He had a very similar stance to Damaris of wearing another man's name on your back.

[Damaris]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's just a little like.

[Mal]

But. But I'm equal opportunity because I feel the same way about the IMG sets. I'm not Gia. That's not my name. I'm not wearing it.

[Damaris]

The img.

[Mal]

That's dick riding Gia.

[Boost Mobile Announcer]

Yeah.

[Damaris]

That's clothing. So we wore names, brands.

[Baby D]

Yeah.

[Mal]

But it say, I am Gia. I am not Gia.

[Jeff T]

Okay, okay.

[Mal]

I'm not.

[Damaris]

That's her name.

[Mal]

Like. Huh?

[Damaris]

That's her name.

[Mal]

So the creator created it after Gia. I forgot her last name. But she was a supermodel, and it was to, like, try to like women, like, img. Like, I'm a supermodel esque type thing. I'm not wearing. I am.

[Baby D]

Oh, that's. That's kind of.

[Damaris]

But I mean, that's. I mean. Well, I had Tommy Hilfiger going as a kid and.

[Mal]

Yeah, but it doesn't say I am Tommy Hilfiger.

[Ryan]

Okay.

[Mal]

Yeah.

[Damaris]

I think I had a shirt that said I am Hill figure, though. I think they had some of those back then.

[Mal]

That's crazy.

[Damaris]

I think. I don't. I don't know.

[Mal]

I don't like. Like, name brands like that have, like. We're splashed all over the place anyway, outside of lv, because they do that with their monogram. But, like, I don't really. Like where it's just big all over the place. Yeah, I have a couple pieces like that, but I don't really. I like it to be a little bit more subtle.

[Baby D]

Not really my thing.

[Mal]

Yeah.

[Baby D]

All right, well, let's. Let's get to this voicemail and see what the streets are saying.

[Damaris]

Do we have to?

[Baby D]

We have to. Okay, we'll do one.

[Ryan]

What's going on, guys and girls? Just a quick little. That's a quick question. How do you go about dealing with somebody that's always accusing you of cheating or doing wrong? Now, mind you, you never did not damn them girls. Is Fine.

[Baby D]

Wait, did he just see women in the middle of this?

[Ryan]

Never, you know, never cheated, never did nothing wrong, never. Blah, blah. I've been single for a couple months now, you know, because of this. But. But she says, why do I need actual physical evidence to prove that you cheated on me? I can feel that you cheated on me. I know for a fact you cheated on me. I heard you cheating on me, and I'm like,

[Cindy Crawford]

huh.

[Ryan]

It just. It threw me off. And like, it happened so much for. It happened for probably going on, what, three, four months when we were together. I had to. I'm in therapy now. Not simply because of the majority. Because of I'm in therapy. That rewired my whole mental.

[Baby D]

So he was cheating?

[Ryan]

Yeah. I just want to know, how do you deal with people like that? Oh, how would you. Would you keep dealing with that? Because at some point, I'm like, all right, I'm. I'm a willing participant at this point. So how. How would you go about dealing with y'? All?

[Baby D]

I mean, I wouldn't go about the accusation of cheating by saying, huh? And then nothing else.

[Mal]

She don't have any. She don't. Technically, he says, she doesn't have.

[Baby D]

Are you cheating?

[Ryan]

Huh?

[Mal]

Sound like if you look over here, see, like that make you make me punch you dead in your teeth because you.

[Ryan]

Huh?

[Baby D]

What the.

[Mal]

I said. You heard what the. I said. I hate like that.

[Baby D]

He was probably cheating. So don't cheat. I don't know.

[Mal]

Well, let's say he wasn't. Let's throw him a bone. Let's say he wasn't.

[Baby D]

Oh, and then get far the away from anyone that's accusing you for no reason about cheating. And if you heard something, let's have a conversation about it. Don't do that. Hey, I can't tell you if you're gonna accuse me of that. Okay, let's have the conversation. Who did I cheat with? Who told you that? What was it about? Take that shit head on. It sound like he was cheating.

[Damaris]

That's why this is a very simple way to fix this.

[Mal]

Oh, I can't wait to hear.

[Damaris]

Usually when your girl is like, you cheating. I know you fucking with. And you're not. Let's say you're 100% faithful.

[Mal]

Here we go. Say it.

[Damaris]

All you gotta do is. Is look at her while she's going into her whole ranch, stare her in the eyes, and as soon as she's done, just say, what's his name? That's all you gotta say. As a man. What's his name. Now watch her.

[Jeff T]

Huh?

[Damaris]

Like she can't hear all of a sudden, right?

[Jeff T]

Huh?

[Damaris]

What you talking about? What's his name? Like I'm. But you gotta, you have to be one of those straight and narrow. I only got eyes from my lady. I'm not. I don't cheat, I don't talk other women. None of that. That's the only time you can get that off. I'm talking about. She's persistently like, yo, I, I feel like you talking to other women. It's that very calm. You don't, you know, because when you, you don't need to raise your voice. When you know your the facts and you haven't done anything wrong. Very calm, cool and collective. What's his name? Yes, what's his name?

[Baby D]

And then. So let's talk about it. Projecting is not very becoming of you.

[Damaris]

Yeah, just what's his name? We don't have to do this.

[Baby D]

You don't need to project your stuff onto me at this point. Oh, if you feel guilty, give me the information and figure it out.

[Damaris]

Give me the information. How, How. What is, what is it with you and this guy? You like him? Feelings for him? You feel like you want to, you know, pursue that?

[Baby D]

Because you would never want to block her blessings.

[Damaris]

No, let's talk about. Because there's so many opportunities out here. Should we be in a position to seek those opportunities? Yeah, but if we're not and we're committed to each other and we enjoying our relationship, we're happy. Then let's do this. But if you start pulling in outside energy and you're looking for a way out and you're trying to find something that's wrong with this relationship and you're not happy, whatever, let's just talk about it. But we're not gonna sit here and create a random woman that I'm fucking with. Yeah, we not gonna do that. I'm not, I'm not on trial. Every night I come home and I gotta deal with questions. I'm not doing that.

[Mal]

But what if I had a dream

[Damaris]

Martin Luther King had a dream you just went to sleep?

[Mal]

What if I had a dream? Like I had a dream? Like I woke up from my dream and text a n like, who is Nicole? And he said, I don't know no Nicole. You sure you don't even know a bitch with a middle name Nicole? No, first of all, now I know you lying. Cause you black. You know at least one girl with the middle name Nicole. You didn't even think. You just lied automatically but second, I had a dream that I saw a bitch named Nicole work badge in your car. I found it when I was sleep and I, like, woke up in sweats and shakes. So now I feel like, you know somebody named Nicole or you gonna meet a Nicole. I feel like if you ask somebody that question, I don't feel like you're crazy for that.

[Damaris]

Damaris, let me tell you this with nothing but love, from the bottom of my heart. Don't ever tell no man, no shit like that. I woke up from a dream. Who the fuck is Nicole?

[Mal]

Oh, I already had the conversation.

[Baby D]

The overall metaphor of that's so raven was that she was wrong every time. And it just ruined more of the positivity that was happening in her life.

[Mal]

She was not wrong.

[Damaris]

She wasn't right.

[Baby D]

She manifested Nicole's bad being in your front seat. So if you would have never said that, he would have never fucked Nicole in the front seat.

[Mal]

Oh, that's true.

[Baby D]

You should have never brought that shit up.

[Mal]

That's your logic for that?

[Baby D]

Okay, that's the theme of the show.

[Damaris]

Yeah. I'm leaving a woman that keep accusing me of cheating. I'm not.

[Baby D]

What if.

[Mal]

Okay, so let's change it. What if you've cheated before but you

[Damaris]

stopped, like before we spoke about it, got through it, got past it, moved on and I'm not cheating anymore.

[Baby D]

You gotta hold that down for a few months.

[Mal]

You gotta. Months?

[Baby D]

Yeah.

[Mal]

It takes longer than months to.

[Damaris]

All right, so then we can just end this. Yeah, we ain't got to do this.

[Mal]

I'm a full believer of that if you're gonna stay.

[Boost Mobile Announcer]

Unfortunately.

[Baby D]

I know you the victim of the assault, but if. If you're going to stay.

[Damaris]

I did something wrong. I. I stepped out on you. I get it. I know in your eyes, I'm forever a cheater. I get it. I'm not going to be on trial every day, though.

[Mal]

I think that's fair.

[Damaris]

You know what I'm saying?

[Mal]

Cuz you can always leave. I can always leave. I can always leave.

[Damaris]

Ted Bunny ain't on trial every day. I can't be on trial every day.

[Baby D]

That was worse than my that's so Raven comparison.

[Boost Mobile Announcer]

I'm just saying.

[Cal Penn]

Jesus.

[Damaris]

They tried him. Guilty. Moved on. Like, tried. I'm guilty. You want to move on? We move on.

[Baby D]

Yeah. No, I never thought of it that way.

[Damaris]

Yeah, come on.

[Mal]

But if they would have let him free, like how I let you free, they will always want.

[Damaris]

He didn't let me free. We still in a relationship.

[Mal]

No, that's Free.

[Damaris]

Being in a relationship ain't free.

[Baby D]

I just.

[Mal]

My point in the comparison to Ted Bunny. Ted Bunny faced consequences. He went to jail.

[Damaris]

Oh, you women was sending him panties and news, you included. It was Disney. It was Disney World for Ted.

[Mal]

I wouldn't have given Ted the water.

[Baby D]

Said they had to hire new bunsies.

[Damaris]

Yeah. They had to hire new post workers, post office workers just to get the mail in the jail.

[Mal]

I mean, I never understood that. He literally looks like a bunion.

[Damaris]

Yeah, but that's what women like. White women.

[Baby D]

Like, if only his parents knew that he was gonna be ugly, they could have aborted him.

[Damaris]

Him, they should have aborted. Now, if you knew that. If you knew that your kid was gonna be.

[Mal]

He's hideous.

[Baby D]

Hideous. I'm not saying he's like that.

[Damaris]

Europe. He's handsome.

[Baby D]

Who's my man that played him in the Netflix? Who's handsome? He's not Zach.

[Boost Mobile Announcer]

Ryan. Ryan.

[Damaris]

Ryan.

[Baby D]

Yeah. He's not Zach.

[Mal]

That is a hideous man. That is a hideous man.

[Baby D]

That's a bad angle with the lighting,

[Damaris]

and it's black and white.

[Baby D]

Come on.

[Mal]

That is basically jfk.

[Damaris]

Yeah, come on. Who was.

[Mal]

You know what, ma? We.

[Baby D]

JFK was ugly.

[Mal]

Now we have different eyes.

[Damaris]

JFK wasn't ugly.

[Baby D]

JFK would know.

[Mal]

Pull JFK up.

[Damaris]

JFK was what?

[Mal]

Pull Jeff Camp. Pull him up.

[Baby D]

He's one of our best.

[Mal]

He's one of our best.

[Damaris]

He's one of our best. It doesn't get much better than that.

[Baby D]

That's a handsome ass man right there.

[Mal]

Y' all are insane.

[Baby D]

Look at the combo.

[Damaris]

All right, go. Go to a younger jfk.

[Baby D]

Yeah, no, let me get young jfk. Let me get young JFK with the

[Damaris]

shorts on the beach. Yeah, go, go, go to before the. The Cuban Missile Crisis. He was a little stressed out during that time.

[Baby D]

Yeah, no, it was okay. No, that's rfk. Come on. That's. That's a handsome lacrosse player right there.

[Damaris]

Yeah, Baby D. I ain't gonna lie. He would have got you on campus.

[Baby D]

He definitely. He would have went like this.

[Damaris]

Yeah, Baby D. He would have got you on campus like so. You want to go to study hall. You went right to the.

[Baby D]

He would have done the white. The right. Right through them locks.

[Mal]

Yeah.

[Damaris]

Nah, Come on, baby.

[Mal]

I've told y'. All with my idea.

[Baby D]

Type in a young Joe Biden, also one of our best. See, we got a. From the audience.

[Damaris]

One of our.

[Mal]

Now, young Joe Biden was a cutie pie. He was a cutie pie.

[Baby D]

He getting you in.

[Mal]

That's one in Aruba.

[Baby D]

He's getting.

[Mal]

For sure, for sure, for sure. In America.

[Damaris]

You know you in America, he would have got Baby D coming right out of. What's that spot?

[Mal]

The Knicks parade?

[Baby D]

Like, I was like, the Knicks parade in a Brunson jersey.

[Mal]

Like, what.

[Baby D]

What were you talking about? How we got on serial killers and an attractive wife cheating. Oh, cheating. Yeah.

[Damaris]

If you knew your kid was going to grow up to be a serial killer, would you abort it?

[Baby D]

Yes.

[Damaris]

Oh, no.

[Baby D]

What?

[Mal]

Oh, my God. Gay out of here. But a serial killer.

[Baby D]

Mole.

[Cal Penn]

Mole.

[Baby D]

I have held Amara. I love Amara. Nothing makes me feel better. If I knew when Kia was pregnant, it. That Amara would grow up to kill 20 people. We're doing a coat hanger. We're doing.

[Mal]

Oh, God.

[Baby D]

We're doing everything. Does not ruin society.

[Damaris]

Get this animal out of here.

[Baby D]

No.

[Mal]

Y' all snitching on y'. All. If y' all kid did a school shoot and they hide in the basement in the bunker, y' all snitching.

[Baby D]

Yes.

[Damaris]

Come get him. He Right.

[Baby D]

100%.

[Mal]

I'm just, like, off. Boston George. Mom.

[Damaris]

Yeah. Come get this shoot up, kids.

[Baby D]

No, no, no, no. Okay. Boston George.

[Damaris]

Mom.

[Baby D]

No, I'm not doing. What in blood?

[Damaris]

No. Drug dealer.

[Baby D]

Hell, I didn't say drug dealer.

[Mal]

I'm saying, I'm calling like, like, the.

[Baby D]

No, I'm never doing that.

[Mal]

I'm saying, if she was.

[Baby D]

If it was a. You shoot up a murder, grocery store, a movie theater, authorities. Here's my kid. Like, yeah.

[Damaris]

If you shoot innocent kids, innocent people.

[Baby D]

Yeah, yeah.

[Mal]

Cause I'm next. Honestly.

[Damaris]

You. Yeah, you might.

[Mal]

I'm definitely next.

[Damaris]

I'm next.

[Baby D]

Get this animal off the streets. I don't care if they're related to me.

[Damaris]

So, Baby D, what would have to happen for you to abort your kid, your pregnancy? Would it just have to be a medical.

[Mal]

If it was something that me and my husband planned and with the baby? Something. It would have to be a medical. Something medical. Strong. Strong medical where, like, the baby wouldn't live for. Because there's some times, like, where your baby could come out, it's only gonna live for a couple hours. It's gonna be in pain the whole time. Like, things like that. You gotta go, all right.

[Damaris]

If they say, yo, your baby is beautiful but has no limbs.

[Baby D]

Can't believe you guys keep going to.

[Damaris]

Looks beautiful, beautiful face, no limbs.

[Baby D]

I would raise. I would raise my child with no limbs for sure.

[Damaris]

Oh, really? No. Kidney bean, man

[Mal]

don't wrap up baby.

[Damaris]

Baby D. Where you going, Baby D? Where you, Baby D? Where you going, Baby D? He said he'll raise a kidney bean.

[Mal]

Go wrap that up.

[Damaris]

You ain't raising no kidney bean, man. You're not raising no sweet potato, man.

[Baby D]

I got Amara a trampoline, an indoor one for my house.

[Damaris]

You couldn't get that for that sweet potato.

[Baby D]

You know how much more fun I'd have?

[Damaris]

Nah, man. He said, you know how much more

[Baby D]

fun it would be. He could dribble.

[Damaris]

He could dribble your baby. Yo, we just joking, man.

[Boost Mobile Announcer]

This is just.

[Baby D]

Of course we're joking.

[Damaris]

Just joking.

[Baby D]

And I'm serious, guys. I would, of course I would raise my child if they had no limb.

[Damaris]

That is hilarious, man. Holy cow. Wow. All right, well, we canceled, so we might see y' all Monday. Maybe not. It is what it is. Either way, be safe, be blessed. I'm that. He's just Ginger. That's Baby D. We on our way to Patriots Patreon. Meet us there.

[Boost Mobile Announcer]

You ever notice how everything keeps going up? Rent, streaming, even extra salsa at your favorite burrito spot? But with Boost Mobile, you don't have to play the will this go up soon Game. Boost Mobile offers an unlimited talk, text and data plan at a price that'll never go up. It's the same price you'll pay for Life. Switch now for unlimited wireless at a price that'll never go up. Up only at boost mobile, after 30 gigabytes, customers may experience slower speeds. Customers will pay 25amonth as long as they remain active on the Boost Unlimited plan.

[Cindy Crawford]

Picture this me, Reese Witherspoon in London ordering fish and chips so often they might start wrapping me in paper. I'm traveling with my Wells Fargo autograph Journey card, so I earn rewards wherever I book travel five times points with hotels, four times with air airlines, three times on restaurants and other travel, and one point on other purchases. Imagine getting rewarded for eating a toad in the hole. Wait, what is a toad in a hole?

[Baby D]

Visit Wells Fargo.com autographjourney Terms apply.

[Cal Penn]

Hi, it's Colin Coward from the Colin Coward Podcast. Every goal starts with an assist. As Official partners of U.S. soccer, this team is ready to deliver. Sensodyne dentist recommended defense of your sensitive table teeth Centrum. Fueling your day with science backed nutrients. Advil, of course. Powerful inflammation fighting pain relief. Voltaren Arthritis gel helps penetrate deep, keeps the joints moving and tums ready to counterattack with fast heartburn relief.

[Damaris]

Learn how Halion can assist your game

[Cal Penn]

day [e-mail] Colin, this is Daniel Cormier

[Baby D]

from the Daniel Cormier Show. This podcast is sponsored by Total Wireless Wireless, the official wireless partner of ufc. Power doesn't wait in the octagon or outside of it. You either make the move or you miss the moment. That's why you need a network that's just as powerful as you are. With Total Wireless, you get unlimited 5G data keeping you in the action from the walkouts to the knockouts.

[Damaris]

Now that's a total power move.

[Baby D]

Make your Total power move today. Visit totalwireless.com or stop by your neighborhood Total Wireless store.

[Damaris]

Additional terms apply.

[Baby D]

See totalwireless.com for details.

[Mal]

This is an iHeart podcast. Guaranteed Human.