Episode 517 | The Stroke Monster

Summary

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New Rory & MAL – Episode 517 | The Stroke Monster (July 10, 2026)

Overview:

This episode is a classic "New Rory & Mal" blend of comedy, vulnerability, wild stories, and music talk. Rory and Mal reunite after Rory’s recent health scare, discuss ongoing FIFA World Cup mania, swap travel nightmares, breakdown Jay-Z show rumors, and riff on their favorite new music releases. The conversation covers everything from “having a stroke” and the reality of male health, to club culture, Emmys drama, and the science of bad breath. Their signature irreverent style mixes laughs with candid personal sharing.

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Main Topics & Segment Timestamps

• [02:50] FIFA, World Cup banter & celebrity soccer gossip
• [10:13] Reunion after two weeks apart; Rory’s hospital stay and stroke story
• [13:11] Travel misadventures (Frontier Airlines, Dallas, and Motel 6 nightmares)
• [16:00] Deep dive into Rory's stroke: reactions, media response, and returning to work
• [22:00] Dealing with social media trolls and public scrutiny after the stroke
• [24:02] The art of joking through tough times & podcast family bonds
• [34:27] Jay-Z “Blueprint” Yankee Stadium show guest predictions
• [38:05] Show & afterparty plans: Drinking, Love Island watch party, and club going
• [41:19] Reflections on drinking after a health scare – “going out with a bang” vs. moderation
• [47:31] 50 Cent, the Emmys, Diddy doc, and industry drama
• [54:16] Emmys favorites and TV recommendations
• [58:49] TV & Film talk: House of Dragons, The Bear, Larry David’s new show, Odyssey movie
• [66:26] New Music: Future “The Real Me” & The Dream “Love/Hate 2” anticipation
• [75:15] Feature speculation: Who’s on new albums, favorite pairings, and wish lists
• [78:51] Listener Voicemail: The "bad breath" dilemma – honesty and hygiene in dating
• [90:12] Wrap up: Hug etiquette, upcoming shows & Damaris’ social circuit

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1. World Cup Banter & Celebrity Soccer Gossip [02:50–09:50]

• Rory and Mal riff on soccer star confusion, with jokes about Messi being called “the Messiah,” and commentary on the overhyped World Cup ("Now it's like, who even watches the World Cup?" – Rory [04:28])
• Mall pokes fun about the US team's elimination ("The Bald eagles are out." – Mal [04:17])
• Quick jabs at celebrity sightings and the American soccer fandom's fickleness
• Banter about World Cup finals ticket prices and “bandwagon” support for foreign teams

Notable Moment:

"When they cut to the women in the stands, that's usually how I base things off once the United States is out."
– Rory [06:18]

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2. The Return: Rory's Hospitalization & Stroke Story [10:13–23:44]

• Rory, just back from the hospital, details experiencing a stroke and the disorienting aftermath
• Discussion about “people making my sickness about themselves” and the urge to escape well-meaning helpers
• Mal talks about finding out via DMs and fearing the worst:

"I'll tell you why I thought he died. When I opened my DMs, I saw a DM from Kia...So I was scared to open it."
– Mal [10:53]

• Debate: is it okay to make jokes about serious health scares?
• Rory candid about the confusion during a stroke:

"You're asking someone that's mid stroke to have logical thoughts... My cerebellum was blocked...I make irrational decisions when I'm healthy." [16:23]

• Social media’s handling of the news—how fans/friends reacted, "mass text" theory vs. personal calls
• Mal and Rory both joke and reflect on how men shy from healthcare

Notable Quotes:

"I had a lot of people hit me, like, yo, I heard the story. Like, what the fuck ... I'm like, why do you think I was thinking clearly?"
– Rory [16:35]
"That's usually how it goes, though."
– Mal, on people showing concern in weird ways [18:24]

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3. "You Should Watch Your Health": Reactions, Trolls, Media [22:00–23:44]

• Discussion about social media trolls, particularly getting attacked by Nicki Minaj’s fanbase for old comments ("Barbs were very happy that you had a stroke." – Rory [22:22])
• Wild accusations in comments (adrenochrome, coke, etc.)
• Appreciation for support, but awareness that much of it is generic
• Emphasizing personal circle over public sympathy

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4. Podcast Family Dynamics, Friendship, and Recovery [23:44–29:46]

• Reuniting the cast after two weeks apart: “This was the longest we've been away from each other in quite some time.” – Rory [10:13]
• Sharing inside jokes about support and hospital calls
• Discussions about not wanting to get serious or dramatic about the stroke:

“I'm not dead, Coach.” [24:01] "The only way. I didn't want to have a serious conversation about it." – Rory [23:21]

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5. Travel Nightmares: Motel 6 Tales [13:11–15:54]

• Damaris and Rory share horror stories about airline delays and refusing a Motel 6 stay in Dallas
• Arguments about quality of different Motel 6s, fear of bad experiences, and cultural differences in the South
• Observations on the difference between “Georgia whites” and “Dallas whites”

"Definitely a big difference between Georgia white people and Dallas white people."
– Rory [15:13]

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6. Jay-Z Yankee Stadium Show: Guest Predictions & Hype [34:27–38:05]

• Speculation about possible surprise guests for Jay-Z’s Blueprint shows at Yankee Stadium: Nas, Foxy, Mary J. Blige, Cam’ron, Eminem, Scarface, and more
• Laughs at possible (and unlikely) reconciliations (Foxy Brown and Kim, etc.)
• Excitement about rare live collaborations
• Mall's optimism about Hov's pull: "When it comes to features...they'll show up for Jay to do the record." [36:05]

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7. Club Culture, Watch Parties, and Going Out Sober [38:05–54:00]

• Detailed plans about attending the shows, chasing merch, getting special seating post-stroke
• Jokes about “playing the stroke card” for accessible seats ("I could fake a little limp, too...I could get a little strokey." – Rory [30:27])
• Damaris confesses to breaking her “dry July” for upcoming events
• Commentary on not wanting “the last drink” to be wasted on a boring night:

"That can't be the last day you drink for the rest of your life... you gotta do some stupid, like, total your car." – Rory [42:12]

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8. 50 Cent, the Emmys, and Diddy Doc Drama [47:31–54:16]

• 50 Cent receives three Emmy nominations for his work on the Diddy doc
• What if 50 wins? Will he use his speech to troll Diddy?
• Deep-dive into industry beef, leaked sex tapes, and whether viral moments were “planned” or simply “lemonade from lemons”
• Rory: “There’s no way Curtis Jackson is not taking that moment to say something about both of them.” [53:17]

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9. TV & Film Review and Emmy Picks [54:16–59:29]

• Favorites for the Emmys: Sterling K. Brown (Paradise), Zendaya (Euphoria), Quinta, Janelle (Abbott)
• Binge-watching picks: House of Dragons, The Bear, Larry David's “Life, Larry and the Pursuit of Unhappiness”
• Excitement for Christopher Nolan's “Odyssey” movie, with a surprisingly all-star cast (Matt Damon, Zendaya, Travis Scott)

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10. New Music – Future & The Dream, Features, and Fantasy Lineups [66:26–77:45]

• Anticipation for Future’s new album “The Real Me” and The Dream’s “Love/Hate 2”
• Is Future about to drop his own 4:44 moment, or stick to the trademark toxicity? ("I don't want Future's 444. No, like, I don't want him to change." – Rory [67:21])
• Speculation on features: Is Drake on it? SZA, Glorilla, 21, Tim’s, Doshi, Gunna, Travis, and Kodack?
• Hilarious banter about “KKK” rap supergroup (Kodak, Kanye, Kendrick)
• Dream’s features: Pusha T, Usher, Kelly Rowland; eager to hear “Powder Coat”, “State of Peaches”, “Papi Tiama”
• What happens to club nights as everyone gets older — and who can keep up?

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11. LISTENER VOICEMAIL: The Bad Breath Dilemma [78:51–89:02]

• Caller describes dating a woman with “chronic, sleep-waking” bad breath; asks if he’s wrong for telling her
• Group agrees: “You can still tell the truth and be an ass...When it comes to breath, though, I think all bets are out.” – Rory [80:22]
• Damaris weighs in with personal experiences; consensus that constant bad breath is a medical issue and a dealbreaker
• Tangent on hygiene: scalp, bonnets, vaping, and the difference between morning breath and actual halitosis

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12. Wrap-Up: Hugs, Love, & Shoutouts [90:12–End]

• All joking aside, the crew shows each other love and welcomes fans to say hi in public (“… you can dap us up, say hi. I just don't like when... people ... stare. Just say hi.” – Rory [90:57])
• Quick love to Future & Dream, Jay-Z show-goers, and fans
• The usual silly, heartwarming/funny signoff

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Notable Quotes & Highlights

On Handling a Health Scare

"You're asking someone that's mid stroke to have logical thoughts when something is wrong with you. ... My cerebellum was blocked."
— Rory [16:23]

"The purpose of the cholesterol shit is to make your blood pump crazy. ... it's moving through my body like you would not believe."
— Rory [19:53]

On Friendship

"This was the longest we've been away from each other in quite some time."
— Rory [10:13]

"I tried to convince Rory to watch House of Dragons when he was in the hospital. He said the wifi was bad, his tablet was dead."
— Mall [57:29]

On Music

"I don't want Future's 444. No, like, I don't want him to change."
— Rory [67:21]

"Future is so good that anyone — Kodak, Kanye, and yo, when I saw that clip with Kodak, said him, Kanye and Kid, you name me, their group is KKK."
— Mall [71:48]

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Episode Takeaways

• Health & Humor: Rory is back after a real health scare, blending openness about recovery with classic self-effacing humor.
• Friendship: The crew is tight-knit, sees each other as family—even when expressing love with insults and banter.
• Pop Culture, Music, & TV: From FIFA to Jay-Z to Emmy picks, the pod covers today’s hot topics with irreverence and depth.
• Relatable Fails: Travel and dating horror stories bring home a universal, human touch.
• Wild, Open Discussion: From “who really vapes at our age?” to “jerking off drunk” and the science of bad breath, nothing is off limits.
• Signature Style: Jokes in the face of adversity, calling out internet trolls, and making hip-hop history predictions—this is peak New Rory & MAL.

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For listeners new or old, this episode is a showcase of what makes New Rory & MAL a podcast worth coming back to: wild comedy, honest sharing, pop culture insight, and a true sense of community.

Transcript

[Rory]

This is an iHeart podcast. Guaranteed Human.

[Boost Mobile Announcer]

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[Colin Coward]

Hi, it's Colin Coward from the Colin Coward Podcast. Every goal starts with an assist. As Official partners of U.S. soccer, this team is ready to deliver. Sensodyne dentist recommended defense of your sensitive teeth Centrum. Fueling your day with science backed nutrients. Advil, of course. Powerful inflammation fighting pain relief. Voltaren Arthritis gel helps penetrate deep, keeps the joints moving and tums ready to counterattack with fast heartburn relief. Learn how Halion can assist your game day [e-mail] Con Reese Witherspoon here.

[Rory]

Checking into my favorite hotel in Paris. Bonjour.

[Mall]

Bonjour.

[Rory]

I'm traveling with my Wells Fargo Autograph Journey card. So I earn rewards wherever I book. Travel five times points with hotels, four

times with airlines, three times on restaurants

and other travel and one point on other purchases. Phew, that was a lot. I need to lie down.

Is the room ready? Visit Wells Fargo.com autographjourney Terms apply.

[Daniel Cormier]

This is Daniel Cormier from the Daniel Cormier Show. This podcast is sponsored by Total Wireless, the official wireless partner of ufc. Power doesn't wait in the octagon or outside of it. You either make the move or you miss the moment. That's why you need a network that's just as powerful as you are. With Total Wireless, you get unlimited 5G data keeping you in the action from the walkouts to the knockouts. Now that's a total power move. Make your total power move today. Visit totalwireless.com or stop by your neighborhood Total Wireless store. Additional terms apply. See totalwireless.com for details.

[Rory]

No warrior now.

No conductor.

Who does Messiah play for?

Bethlehem.

The biggest. Like soccer player Jerusalem.

[Guest]

Oh,

[Mall]

Messi.

[Rory]

So a lot of people. Messi is Messiah.

[Mall]

Messi is the Messiah. A lot of people. So she's not. She's not that far off. Messi is Messiah too.

[Rory]

Who does he play for?

[Mall]

He has a Argentina. He has a huge part of the world that refer to him as the Messiah.

[Rory]

Yeah, except for the Jews in Miami. Yeah, he's not the Messiah.

[Mall]

Yeah, no.

[Rory]

And what about the fine one?

[Mall]

Now, now you lost me. I don't know who you're.

[Rory]

Yeah, I know who I'm talking about.

[Mall]

I have no idea who you talking about.

[Rory]

No, like who's like one of the biggest soccer players?

[Guest]

Messi.

[Rory]

No, not Ronaldo Mbapp. He's like light skinned, he looks like.

[Mall]

Oh, and Bappy.

[Rory]

Oh, he fine too. But I won't talk about him. The one that was sitting next, that was sitting next to Cardi B at the, at the show. And like it was when went viral that they were talking. Y' all know who I'm talking about. Anyway, hi everybody.

[Mall]

I don't know who you talking about. She sit next to Medulla.

[Rory]

Ok. I don't know how to pronounce that. Him.

[Mall]

Oh, Maduka, Maduka.

[Rory]

God damn.

I, I wasn't aware that he was that popular.

God damn.

[Mall]

I wasn't aware that he sat next to Cardi B. That's where she lost me at. I'm like sat next to Cardi B at his show.

[Rory]

Oh boy. Fine boy.

I mean I loved FIFA but like it's over now, so really cares.

[Mall]

I mean well, yes, the US is has been eliminated so the Bald eagles are out.

[Rory]

Who cares, man? Yeah, but did we say it's a pansy sport now?

[Mall]

Yeah, now it's like who even watches the World Cup?

[Rory]

Like y' all were really into this FIFA thing. Y' all are weird. Bunch of playing kick the can n let get a real sport.

[Mall]

But don't we like football?

[Rory]

Yeah, don't we usually suck? We did good this year, right?

No, we did and I'm joking. I'm, I, I actually as we're recording is France and Morocco is about to play. I, I, I've loved World Cup. Even though we lost and we should have had Cat as our goalkeeper, we

[Mall]

might have got smoked by even more.

[Rory]

We should have put bridges at midfield like we would have been okay.

[Mall]

Sorry. The Knicks won the championship, man.

[Rory]

Knicks and five.

[Guest]

That's right.

[Rory]

That was rough to watch the Belgium game though. Yeah, like that was bad. Oh we got, we, oh yeah, we got smoked.

[Mall]

I don't know what the goal he was on, but he could have stayed on the bus with that shit. He had to come out to the field with that.

[Rory]

Thank God he lives in a country where we don't care that we don't even call the sport by its right name. Yeah, because he would be murdered in another country for sure.

[Mall]

For sure.

[Rory]

But thank God he can go back to like you Know, he can go to Starbucks, Iowa, or wherever the he's from.

[Mall]

He can go get his lattes. Nobody will bother him. Nobody. We recognize him at a Starbucks.

[Rory]

And Damaris, you're not the fine one that talks to Cardi B.

So, yeah, no, I don't know who that is.

[Mall]

Nobody knows.

[Rory]

Let me look up. US Goalie origin. Where that from? What's his name?

Well, who are you guys going for now? Which. Which team should we be? Bandwagon fans.

Oh, he's from Pennsylvania.

Now that the red, white and blue is out, who are we going to attach to? The French never come through for us. They abandoned us in the Revolutionary War. We can't really fuck with the French.

[Mall]

Yeah.

[Rory]

Morocco. I'm cool with. Fuck Belgium. I guess I'm on the side of

[Mall]

either, like, Argentina and Spain.

[Rory]

Yeah, I mean, Argentina is technically ranked number one, right? I know they don't really do that, but if you go through the. The betting process, they're ranked 1. I think France is 2. Spain and Morocco. I guess I'm on the side of okay, just because, I mean, when they cut to the women in the stands, that's usually how I base things off once the United States is out.

[Kal Penn]

Yeah.

[Rory]

Who's bringing the hose up?

[Mall]

Who's there? Who's at the game? Who all going to be there?

[Colin Coward]

Who?

[Rory]

Who all going to be there?

[Mall]

Who all going to be there?

[Rory]

I wonder how much tickets are for the finals. It's only 15 minutes from us.

Oh, the finals.

The finals are in Jersey.

In Jersey.

Yeah. End of July at 3:00pm oh, okay.

[Guest]

Cool.

[Colin Coward]

Yeah.

[Rory]

It starts at 10,000.

[Mall]

Oh, 10,000. We can swing it.

[Rory]

We can swing it.

I'll stick to my blueprint show.

[Mall]

Day of, they'll drop.

[Rory]

No, they won't.

No, they won't.

[Mall]

The day of. No. Day of, the numbers are dropped. Don't worry about it, man.

[Rory]

Just wait it out for the biggest sporting event, period.

[Mall]

Depends on who makes the final. You know what I'm saying? You got to wait it out. Just wait it out.

[Rory]

Man, I saw they were killing you online because. Because Biebs is doing the halftime show. Oh, yeah, yeah, they were. They brought up your Drake clip. But, I mean, at that time, he was considering it, right?

[Mall]

Yeah. I mean, you know, things change.

[Rory]

Biebs, bts, Shakira and Madonna.

Damn.

That's a bigger halftime show than anything the super bowl has done. Probably.

Yeah, definitely.

[Daniel Cormier]

Probably.

[Rory]

BTS alone would be bigger than anything. Yeah, you add in Shakira, Madonna, and Beebs. That's just Shakira. Did the super bowl with JLO adding.

[Mall]

Add in Bieber and Madonna just for funsies.

[Guest]

Yeah.

[Mall]

Like, just because they're available, they ain't doing nothing else that day. It's just like.

[Guest]

Yeah.

[Rory]

Do you think the Illuminati makes Bieber and Madonna make out?

[Mall]

No.

[Rory]

Okay.

[Mall]

I don't think so.

[Rory]

They got to do something shocking.

[Mall]

Maybe Madonna makes out with bts.

[Rory]

The whole. The whole.

[Mall]

The whole. The whole group. The whole group.

[Rory]

That would be on brand for her, though.

[Mall]

Yeah. Make out with the whole group.

[Rory]

Younger guys. How do you fit all that into one half? How long is halftime? 2 hours.

[Mall]

They probably want to have, like, a full set. They probably have a couple songs each, a little medley.

[Rory]

It's like 4 monster X. Yeah. You guys are down. That's the craziest lineup I've ever seen in my life.

[Mall]

We're not. That's a. That's a world lineup right there.

[Rory]

That's insane.

[Mall]

Yeah, that's like a world lineup for sure.

[Rory]

Fifteen minutes. All right. What song does each of them do?

[Mall]

Madonna has to do Like a Virgin, right.

[Rory]

With bts.

[Mall]

With BTS doing background.

[Rory]

The K Pop version. Yeah.

[Mall]

Baby has to do a baby.

[Rory]

Right, baby. And one Less Lonely girl here. Go P. She gotta do Yukon.

G. Does Yukon at the World Cup.

[Kal Penn]

Please.

[Rory]

The acoustic version.

[Mall]

I know what he got to do at the World Cup. He got to do One Less lonely.

[Daniel Cormier]

Whoa.

[Mall]

Was that. Was that the name of the song he did? Baby D. Yeah.

[Rory]

Peach. Yeah. I mean, Mall.

That was the Green Room remix. Yes.

[Mall]

Okay. Well, I mean, bring it to the big stage. Why not?

[Rory]

Let's not. Let's not.

[Mall]

No, you ain't feeling that, Baby D. Why.

[Rory]

Why? The only people of color at this. At this thing is bts. Like, we're.

[Mall]

You think BTS is the people of color at this halftime show?

[Rory]

Madonna is probably the blackest one of them that.

[Mall]

That lineup or Shakita.

[Rory]

Yes. You think BTS is.

Is BTS and Shakira? Why they only like, we're the blacks. Half the league is black. We're the blacks.

Well, I mean, that's just based off world populate. Like, yeah, whites are big in America, but it's. It's doesn't stretch too much further than that. A little bit into Europe, and then it's kind of. It gets very. For the rest of the. Australia, we planted a. Yeah.

[Mall]

It kind of tapers off after that.

[Rory]

If you. If you look at the stats, the whites are not that high.

[Mall]

Yeah.

[Rory]

In. In population, so. I hear you. Well, I'm excited Go, Morocco. But the game. Morocco Gang's all here. For the first time in two weeks, Gang is back.

[Mall]

Sponsored by Boost Mobile. Unlimited talk, text and data.

[Rory]

Thank you, Boost, for getting the gang back together. If it wasn't for Boost, we all wasn't Boost.

[Colin Coward]

Yeah.

[Mall]

Wouldn't know the truth.

[Rory]

That's what the phone line we all use to call out.

That is true.

[Guest]

Yeah.

[Rory]

This was the longest we've been away from each other in quite some time.

I know.

Two weeks.

I didn't like it.

I can't. It's been five years probably since I've not seen you for two weeks.

Yeah. I fought really hard to, like, come to Rory's house, and he wouldn't let me.

[Guest]

No.

[Rory]

But now he understands how I felt when I didn't want him to come to mind when I was sick.

Yeah. Yeah, that did put things in perspective.

[Boost Mobile Announcer]

Yeah.

[Rory]

Because I've noticed a lot of people in my life are making this more about them taking care of me than me feeling comfortable, which is really annoying.

[Guest]

Yeah.

[Rory]

Stop making this about you and how you feel like you should be taking care of me, if taking care of me now would be leaving me the alone.

[Mall]

I thought Rory died.

[Rory]

Oh, my God.

[Mall]

I'll tell you why I thought he died. Okay, When I opened my DMs, I saw a DM from Kia. Kia has never spoken to me on Instagram. I didn't even know it was her.

[Rory]

I was like, he was about to drop money back.

[Mall]

Who was this in my DMs? Like, something wrong? I just saw Rory, and I was like, oh, wait, that's kid. I'm like, oh, like, Kia's trying to get in touch with me to give me the bad news. Like, she doesn't have my phone number. So, yeah, the next step would be dm. So I was scared to open it. You know how you try to read like, yeah. I was like, all right, what is she. And then she was like, rory's trying to go to work Thursday.

[Rory]

Please tell him.

[Mall]

Please tell him.

[Daniel Cormier]

He can't.

[Mall]

I was like, oh, no. I was like, kia, it's not happening. He won't. It's okay. Yeah, but thank you for that. I appreciate that.

[Guest]

But.

[Mall]

Yeah, I thought it was bad news, but it was just you trying to get back to work sooner than you should have.

[Rory]

I mean, I was discharged. You guys are not more important than the leading scientists in Jersey City. They said I was good.

That wasn't trying to get back to work. He was trying to get the away from his parents.

That, too But I'd also been in a hospital bed for a week, which, like, sucked. Like. And when you have an IV in your arm, it's illegal to go outside because I guess, like, people do, like, use drugs. Like, you can't have an IV and leave a hospital. So I couldn't. I had not had fresh air in a week. I just wanted to get the fuck out.

Yeah, yeah.

And record we out.

[Mall]

And we're back.

[Rory]

We are. And Damaris was in Dallas. She was in Vancouver. She was in Minnesota. Anytime I checked her location, she was in another state. Trying to get back home.

Trying to get back home, bro. Trying to get back home.

Like, what was the motel like in Dallas?

I refused. I just bought an. I spent the money and bought another ticket. Because, see, this is my fault for flying Frontier. This is my fault. But when you're going to Atlanta, it's a two hour flight. Them frontiers be like, cute little one 5200.

I've taken Frontier to Atlanta many times.

[Boost Mobile Announcer]

Yes.

[Rory]

Like, you know what I'm saying? So when I'm going to Atlanta, I'm like, quick. I could just buy, you know, a little Frontier. I will never do that shit again, bro. Because when something goes wrong, they. It was their fault that I missed my connecting flight. Them niggas said, I mean, we could put you up in a hotel. I was like, okay, do that. They was like, but it's gonna be like a Motel 6. A Motel 6.

[Mall]

Love a Motel 6.

[Rory]

I'm cool. I went and bought a shout out to American Airlines. Went and just took that loss. I paid fucking damn near $500 to get from Dallas to New York.

But, you know, well, the new Dallas airport is amazing. You'd probably be better off sleeping in the Dallas airport than sleeping in a Motel 6.

So remember the guy that used to do our merch?

Yes.

He was behind me in line because we. We were both coming from Atlanta.

What?

Yes, exactly. We were both coming from Atlanta. I didn't even see him on train. But he missed, like, we went from Atlanta to Fort Worth, and then we couldn't get on our flight to LaGuardia. So he was behind me. A line I turned around was like, oh, hi. So he slept in the airport. He was like, I'm not sleeping in a Motel 6. So he slept in the airport and got on the next flight.

Ethan.

[Mall]

Okay.

[Rory]

Yeah, he used to do merch. My album. And. And for us.

[Guest]

Yeah.

[Rory]

Shout out to you. That's mad random.

So random. That was so random. But, yeah, he was like, nah, I'm asleep in the airport. I'm not staying at a motel.

Dallas has one of the nicest airports in the entire country. I would definitely just find a spot in the corner and sleep over a Motel 6 where I got to go buy sheets.

Buy sheets. I'd have to buy everything. Rugs, like, everything. I was cool.

[Mall]

Yeah.

[Rory]

No, my red roof nights, I'm. I'm buying sheets.

[Mall]

No, it depends on which Motel 6 you catch, though.

[Rory]

Crazy as fuck.

[Mall]

Like, not every mo. I know the Motel 6 you talking about. Like, but every Motel 6 ain't like that, though. Like, it ain't that bad.

[Guest]

Yeah.

[Rory]

If you get, like, an Extended Stay Motel 6, you.

[Mall]

Yeah, you can find a decent Motel 6. Like, I know the Motel 6 you referring to, though. Like, where it's like, nah, I ain't staying in there. But, like, there's some Motel sixes we like. All right, this is for a night. This is doable.

[Rory]

I feel like the one next to the Dallas airport wouldn't be the best one.

[Guest]

Yeah.

[Rory]

As nice as that airport is, I don't know if the surrounding areas are. Yeah. Something tells me Dallas has a nasty Motel 6.

[Colin Coward]

Yeah.

[Mall]

Next to airport is a little tricky.

[Rory]

Yeah.

[Mall]

Because that's what niggas wait for, you know, they to fly in with them things, pick them up at the airport. So, you know, I mean, it's just like. It's like a little pit stop.

[Rory]

Yeah.

[Mall]

Now you need something a little further.

[Rory]

They now drugs, some a little further

[Mall]

out where people don't really stay at the motel.

[Rory]

And I'm just, you know, like, in the suburbs.

[Mall]

Find a Motel 6 near the suburbs.

[Rory]

When you in the south, you got to really make sure you around the right white people. I get scary.

Well, there's definitely a big difference between Georgia white people and Dallas white people. So what do we. What whites are we talking about?

Either one. I'm staying the fuck away from. I don't know. I think Dallas might be worse. Dallas white people might be worse than

Dallas white people will be more honest with you about their racism. I think the Georgia whites that live in the Atlanta area, not Outskirts, are just like the Dallas whites, but, like, they'll have a smile on their face,

but definitely a nigger in their throat.

For sure. Systematic racism is running through their DNA. But they'll put a smile on and be like, hey, I'll show you the Coca Cola factory. Like, that's. That's the Atlanta whites. Be careful with them. They're tricky. They're sneaky.

Well, I was rushing to get back to you. I needed to hug you and make sure you were okay.

Two weeks later.

Yeah, I know, right? As I'm listening to the episode and you're describing what happened at the Jay Z show that you didn't tell us about before, I'm in my head, like, cursing you the fuck off. I'm like, he's so happy I'm not at work right now because. Are you fudgeing kidding me? Like, mall is making jokes, obviously. Like, oh, my God, was it Jesus when you said Mary and her child? It was. That was funny as fudge. But like, in real life, real talk, like, what the fuck be wrong with you, bro?

Like, what you're asking someone that's mid stroke to have logical thoughts when something

is wrong with you. You go to the hospital.

My cerebellum was blocked. You know, the thing that controls your body is brain. Your brain. When your brain is not properly functioning now, you're expect I make irrational decisions when I'm healthy. You think when I have valves in my brain blocked, I'm going to make smart choices. Because I had a lot of people hit me, like, yo, I heard the story. Like, what the fuck is, like, out of love? Like, yo, what the fuck is wrong with you? Like, I know men don't go to the hospital, but this is another level. I'm like, why do you think I was thinking clearly, right?

But then my phone, I'm in fucking Georgia, My phone blowing up when the episode drops. Like, Rory had a stroke. Call me back. People calling me, texting me. And I'm like, this didn't tell his friends he had a stroke before he told the world. Like, I would. I can't imagine if I didn't work with you every day. And that was my first time hearing that information. And mind you, a lot of them didn't hear it from the episode. They're hearing it because people are calling them like, yo, Rory had a stroke. That's fucking horrifying.

I figured that was the easiest way to do that was like my mass text. Like, you know when people have like their birthday and they put on Instagram and say, this is the invite so they don't have to personally invite everyone. That was my version of doing that.

[Mall]

Yeah. Just kind of get it all.

[Rory]

Because I thought I could avoid having the same conversation with everybody where I'm just copy and pasting messages because they're asking the same question.

[Kal Penn]

Right?

[Rory]

And I thought I could get rid of it that way. But no, I still had to do that.

I was going to say that you literally made it worse. I'm like, you could have put in your close friends, like, anything.

[Colin Coward]

Just.

[Rory]

Well, it was less about that. It was more how, like, publications put it out. It seemed like I had just had a. Like, it just happened.

It just happened. Yeah.

Like, I was literally on my way there and someone caught footage of me dying.

[Kal Penn]

And.

[Rory]

Yeah, that's why most people thought I was. I was like, no, I should happen.

That's.

Oh, shit, man. It's two weeks ago.

People started declaring their love to you. Like, I love you so much.

Not really. A lot of people were like, you're dumb. You should went to the hospital.

[Mall]

That's usually how it goes.

[Rory]

Oh, you trash.

[Mall]

That's usually how it goes, though.

[Rory]

You what? Nobody was like, you know what? Yo, Rory, like, I love you so much. I'm happy you still here, my brother.

Yeah, I mean, I got those, but

[Mall]

we never care about those.

[Rory]

Yeah, it felt a little chat. GBT ish. Like, I get it.

None of the old.

You've never loved. You've never loved me.

None of the old hoes.

[Mall]

And then look what it took for you to love me. I had to almost die.

[Rory]

That's when you realize you love somebody.

[Mall]

That's fucked up.

[Rory]

And I'm very grateful for everyone that did reach out. I don't want to come across that way, but it is just funny how people deal with that because I'm bad at it, too. Everything that was said to me, I would say to me too, but it's just so obvious. Yo, you really need to watch your health. No shit. Why are you texting this to me? I was laying face first on a parking. You think your text of saying, hey, you should watch your health. Oh, damn. I never thought of it that way.

[Mall]

Yeah, thanks. Thanks for the reminder.

[Rory]

And I know I'm coming across. I am appreciative of it, but at some point, it's like, oh, last time we talked was 2018.

[Mall]

But I mean, I get that.

[Rory]

I do, too.

[Mall]

I'm serious as that. Yeah.

[Rory]

I'm grateful for everyone that did reach out.

Yeah, but did the hoes reach out? You heard me ask the first time.

[Guest]

Yeah, but,

[Mall]

you know, I know what.

[Rory]

Okay, what that meant.

I took a few offers up. Is there anything I can do? Actually, now that you mention it, some pussy.

Some pussy would be nice.

[Mall]

The best way to relieve some of this pressure.

[Kal Penn]

Yeah.

[Rory]

Because I'll let y' all know, just between us, not, you know, the world, just. Just us here, that cholesterol medicine might as well be a Viagra.

You ain't have to let us know. Like when I tell you you did not have to let us know.

The purpose of the cholesterol shit is to make your blood pump crazy. Yeah, it's trying to clear a valve in my brain that is moving through my body like you would not believe.

Hey, yo, now we can't wear perfume around Rory. This rock like, like shit weird around here.

Yeah, no way I could go to a World cup game. I'd have to wear some baggy ass pants.

[Mall]

Oh, my God.

[Rory]

Oh, my Lord. Well, I'm happy that you're doing better. Complex. When they released their article about you having a stroke, for some reason they used.

Why did they use this picture?

This picture of us? First of all, somebody commented and said, yeah, this was Baby D and Rory at heavier times. Rude.

That is true, though.

We were fat as fuck. Like, that button is about to pop off my. Why am I in it? I didn't have a stroke. Right? But whatever.

Well, you almost had a stroke at this.

The. The comments, somebody said, they were. So everybody was accusing you of doing coke. I was reading the comments, cracking up. They were like, yeah, that coke could do it to you. First of all, coke, I didn't know.

What am I, the coke guy?

Yeah, I was like, I didn't know coke causes strokes.

Well, it does.

Somebody was like, he had a heat stroke.

Like in an air conditioned room.

For sure, since you had a heat stroke. Everybody was saying drugs. Somebody said, yeah, that's that. Adrenochrome stroke.

What the fuck is that?

They say that that's what the elites use.

[Ray Porter]

They.

[Rory]

They take baby blood.

Okay.

To keep them young.

Oh, they think I look young,

all right, man. But that had me cry. I'm like, damn, adrenochrome. They like, oh, he's about to be wealthy now. They was like, yeah, he's about to be wealthy now. He did his sacrifice. Wait, is out here having to kill their cousins? You telling me that a little stroke could be the sacrifice to get rich from? Why we ain't been do that one?

Yeah, man, they thinking I sacrificed bath.

Yeah, they were doing. They were saying all types of Facebook is funny.

Yeah, I didn't read too many comments on it, but I. I did catch one. I think it was under. May have been under the complex thing on Twitter. The barbs were happy, to say the least. Barbs were very happy that you had a stroke. This is directly, directly a result of saying anything bad about Nicki Minaj. Yeah, I could see nothing to do with the Human body.

[Mall]

Yeah.

[Rory]

Somebody said, I thought that was Belly Gang Cushington for a second. Like, they were.

When I'm heavier. Yeah, yeah. But no, I mean, I. I even laughed at some of the. The darker jokes, but some people weren't kidding. Some people really were, like. Were happy and were hoping that the next one takes me out. I think I read on one of them.

[Mall]

Naturally. That's what some people.

[Rory]

I'm very complimentary of. Nicki Minaj.

[Ray Porter]

Why?

[Rory]

How come the comments of positivity never make it there?

I have no clue.

How many times do I call her the greatest female rapper of all time

[Mall]

and that she doesn't matter?

[Rory]

She's top five of the new generation. It's not even close.

[Mall]

Doesn't matter. Doesn't matter. Too much positivity.

[Rory]

Yeah, yeah, yeah, that'd be all right. Well, I'm happy you're okay. I want to come in and tell you that I'm sorry I couldn't be here for your comeback episode.

[Mall]

My comeback episode?

[Rory]

Your comeback. You came back strong. You made little jokes like, I was proud of you.

I mean, that's the only way. I didn't want to have a serious conversation about it.

That would have been, oh, no. Why do that?

Because I've watched a bunch of people say they wish I died. Let's not make a serious moment out of. They're like, why would I make a serious moment? That no one cares.

People.

People in my life care, and that's all that matters to me. I don't need the rest of the world to care, because I know they don't. Which is fine.

There are people who have supported you from the dawn of your podcast.

[Colin Coward]

Yeah.

[Rory]

No, I'm not saying.

Well, those are the people that are

important, and they would probably want to hear us joke about it rather than have some dark moment like, in the words of Gary Bertier, I'm not dead, Coach. Let's focus on the ship.

[Mall]

Right, Right.

[Rory]

I'm hurt. I'm not dead. Denzel Washington.

[Mall]

It's a real American. It's the American spirit, Rory.

[Rory]

Like when I. When I saw y' all and Zip holding it down with great episodes. I was Gary Bertier in the hospital bed when the Titans won. When he's like this, this was me. Zip was lying to those hoes about Nas.

[Mall]

Right.

[Rory]

I was like this.

Yeah, I know. You probably told that same lie before. Nobody believed you, though.

No. No one. I've never gotten the naslai off, though.

Nobody believes you when you said that. But, yeah.

No, I've never Lied about, like, because I've never known anyone famous enough that people wanted to. That that would have mattered. I've definitely been like, oh, yeah, I got you on VIP bands to Palooza. Like, I've. I've done my version of what Mall and Zip have done for sure.

I mean, back in the day, that was. Hey, man.

[Mall]

A Palooza band was equivalent to saying,

[Rory]

you know, Nas in that venue.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. The band where I could go and not have to wait in line for the Doucet. Ah.

And once we moved to drink tickets and it was free Doucet back there. That was a thing.

[Guest]

Okay.

[Rory]

T. Pain was back there.

[Mall]

Like, yeah, yeah. You want to hang out with Payne?

[Rory]

You want to meet Young in May?

[Mall]

I got you.

[Rory]

Yeah. Don't do that.

That wasn't a slight.

I was about to say back in the day. That was back in the mood days. Young in May was that she was that lesbian. I know. K1 is it now? But, like, that used to be Young in me.

It still is. She's still doing numbers, probably.

I believe it. But. Yeah, but I'm happy. Like I said, I'm happy you're back. To see you here. I've missed you guys, Mall. I've missed you.

[Mall]

No, you didn't. It's okay.

[Rory]

Why? You'll never believe me when I try to express my love to you.

[Mall]

Just trauma.

[Rory]

You gotta let that hurt go. I'm not her. I shouldn't. I shouldn't have to. You know what I'm saying? Get blood on me from a wound I didn't cause.

[Mall]

I'm sick of black women lying to me.

[Rory]

She's a trigger for you.

[Mall]

Yeah. She's a black woman. Another black woman lying to my face.

[Rory]

That's crazy. I hope one day you believe me. All I can do is try my best. If you won't accept my love, you know, it's trauma.

[Mall]

That's all. Nothing personal.

[Rory]

Mall's sister had hit me when the stroke happened. And, you know, just checking in. And then she said, maul will never admit it, but he's scared.

I was like, oh.

I replied with, I don't think so. But I appreciate you saying that,

Ma. You scared?

[Mall]

No. I wasn't scared at all. Once I spoke like, knew he was okay. Like, I spoke to Rory, like, from the hospital.

[Rory]

Because you're so. You're so sick of white men lying to you, too. I'm a trigger as well.

[Mall]

What was I. I spoke. Now, if he would have called me and been like. He sounded like he was like, Then it's like, oh, shit. But we spoke, and he was like, yeah, man, like, just run a test. And I was like, all right, cos. Just rest up. You know what I'm saying? Like, don't. Just get some rest, man. Just take it easy. I spoke to Rory, like, while he was in the hospital. Like, I knew he was obviously serious. He had a stroke, but it wasn't as serious as a stroke could get.

[Rory]

Yeah.

[Mall]

So, no, I wasn't scared. I was concerned and I was happy you were, you know, okay. But I wasn't scared scared.

[Rory]

You slept with the light on.

[Mall]

That's how scared I was. I had to have a night light on.

[Rory]

I mean, it's okay to be scared.

[Mall]

I slept with the. I slept with the gun under the bed, under the pillow.

[Rory]

Afraid the stroke monster demon was coming.

[Mall]

The stroke demon. In case he decided to come get me in the middle of the night. I had something waiting on him. Like, what? Scared or what? Wasn't scared. No.

[Rory]

I'm glad Maul put his politics to the side, because my. My thought was, when I called him to say I had a stroke, the first thing he was going to say was, did you take the vaccine?

Yo.

That was the first thing I thought Maul was going to say to me.

[Mall]

But I know you didn't.

[Rory]

But you know I did.

[Mall]

Yeah. So I wouldn't. I wouldn't ask that if I knew you did.

[Rory]

He would blame it on that for sure.

[Mall]

Oh, it would have been 100 conversation.

[Daniel Cormier]

Yeah.

[Mall]

It would have been like, come on, man. See, look, now you're statistics. Now you know how it feels to be a statistic. You're a stat now, man. It is what it is.

[Rory]

Anyways, though, what's. What's everyone's weekend plans while we're here before we get to all these trending topics?

[Mall]

Oh, God, do we have to talk about trending topics? We talked about trending topics yesterday. It was the worst conversation we ever had in our life.

[Rory]

Some people seem to like it. I got a lot of text messages.

[Mall]

Oh, God, it's like five people. I never want to come in here and talk about who Jay Z might be one of them.

[Rory]

Really not.

[Mall]

Because when am I going? What am I going?

[Rory]

I see the Drake and Kendrick thing just of where the world is at with that. There's no winning in that conversation. Not fun anymore. But HOV is still a fun combo. People are trying to make it when

[Mall]

it's a fun combo. Yeah, but, like, I don't care to talk about what a few people are trying to say about Jay Z, like, on the negative side, I don't even entertain. I don't even. I wouldn't even know that if you don't bring it up to me. Like, I wouldn't even see that type of shit. Like, it's just. Because that's what we know. That's part of it. When you're that successful and that popular and that famous, like, there's gonna be that. So it's like he's one of those people that I just. Again, because there's so much personal history and there's so much personal ties there and things that I hear, I just know. Absolutely. Just stupid. It's just like, I. I can't even have a conversation about it. Like. Yeah, because I'm just like, well, that's just dumb. But, you know, whatever.

[Rory]

Well, I know Damaris is now going to the show, so I won't be going. Well, I'm going with my homegirl Jess, but I won't be going. Just the two of us. Should I have a car service? Should we all go together?

Oh, you got a car service. It's gonna be me and Al's.

Yeah, there'll be space. Okay, we all go together.

I'll. I'll. I'll hit you.

Because we're going blueprint.

[Colin Coward]

Right?

[Rory]

There was another car service that we were talking about, too, but we'll talk. But, yeah, I'll hit you. We're going to the Saturday show.

[Guest]

Yes.

[Rory]

All right, then.

Yeah.

So I want to go early so I can get in the merch line to get the new stuff.

Okay.

Not the stroke stuff, the new, like. But there's got to be Yankee Stadium stuff out there.

[Mall]

Separate stroke merch.

[Rory]

Stroke merch. No, no, I'm trying to get the show merch.

I told Rory to, like, bring a doctor's note and try to get ADA seating.

I probably could.

For real.

[Mall]

What is ADA seating?

[Rory]

Like, where the wheelchair areas, like, you know, at the top of each section, they have, like, the flat.

[Mall]

Okay.

[Rory]

Yeah. I mean, well, I'm on the floor already. I'm just trying to get, like, through the crowd easier.

[Mall]

Kind of like when you go to the airport.

[Rory]

Exactly.

[Mall]

Come get to. Okay.

[Rory]

I probably could.

They.

[Mall]

William, from the entrance.

[Guest]

I could.

[Rory]

I could fake a little limp, too.

Don't.

I could get a little. I get a little strokey.

[Mall]

Can't joke about. Joke about having a stroke.

[Rory]

I can. You guys can't.

[Mall]

No, no.

[Rory]

You're like, we can't.

But, like, same thing. I can. I can put the Hardy R on stroke.

[Mall]

I just don't. I just don't think we should but

[Rory]

okay but no, leave it any yeah, I'm sure I could probably get some type of wheelchair service.

[Mall]

Yeah, they have wheelchair access at the

[Rory]

stadium so no worry About Mall is

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[Rory]

Hi, Ryan Reynolds here for Mint Mobile. Are you looking for a beach read this summer? May I suggest your big wireless bill? It's got suspense, mystery, a slightly flat emotional arc, and a shocking twist where you realize you've been overpaying the entire time. Fortunately though, Mint Story is better. Every plan $15 a month, even unlimited.

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[Mall]

when network is busy.

[Kal Penn]

See Terms. Hey everyone, it's Kal Penn. I'm the host of Irsay The Audible and iHeart Audiobook Club. This week on the podcast, I am sitting down with Ray Porter, the narrator of Andy Weir's audiobook project Hail Mary, Massive Sci fi adventure about survival and science and what happens when you wake up alone, very far from Earth.

[Ray Porter]

I really had to make a decision because I caught myself getting that frog in my throat and starting to get teary as I'm narrating some of these sections. And it's like, okay, yo, yo, yo. Is this indulgent? And I really thought about it. I was like, no. At this point it would kind of be betraying the trust the author and the listener have in telling this story if I don't go through it. But there's places in this book that that deeply, emotionally affected me and I left it on the mic. That's great because it served the story. People will say like, oh my God, I cried at the end. It's like, yeah, dude, me too.

[Kal Penn]

Listen to Hearsay, the Audible and iHeart audiobook club on the iHeartradio app or wherever you get your podcasts.

[Colin Coward]

Hi, it's Colin Coward from the Colin Coward Podcast. Every goal starts with an assist. As Official partners of U.S. soccer, this team is ready to deliver Sensodyne dentist recommended Defense of your sensitive teeth Centrum. Fueling your day with science backed nutrients. Advil, of course. Powerful inflammation fighting pain relief. Voltaren Arthritis gel helps penetrate deep, keeps the joints moving and tums ready to counterattack with fast heartburn relief. Learn how Halion can assist your game day [e-mail] Colin

[Rory]

shout out to D Dynamics on Twitter. I thought he had some of the best predictions for the guests for the next three days. Night one being reasonable Doubt. He has Nas, Foxy, Jazz, Sauce Money, Mary J, Lil Kim or Cease. Is Foxy and Kim like, did they ever resolve that from the last 30 years?

[Mall]

I'm not sure.

[Rory]

They could be in separate parts of green rooms.

[Mall]

Yeah. I think for Jay though, could be squashed.

[Rory]

Yeah. Because I mean even Cameron and Jim Jones came out at the B side. Yeah, they squashed it for, for that. I mean I love Sauce Money and I just think that would be cool and jazz. I don't know if like the whole world will be like holy, but.

[Mall]

No, but everybody that's at that show, they understand that.

[Kal Penn]

That.

[Rory]

Yeah.

[Mall]

That moment. You know what I mean?

[Rory]

Sauce would be great. Kim and C's just doing Junior Mafia would be fire. And I could see Nas obviously coming out during Dead Presidents. Have they ever done success live?

[Mall]

I don't think so.

[Rory]

That would be fire to see that. They, they don't need to do Black Republican.

[Mall]

No, that one.

[Rory]

That's, that's, that's okay.

[Mall]

They could delete that one.

[Rory]

Just do Dead Presidents, add the NAS vert and success and salute Hip Hop and Leave. Night two. Blueprint, Eminem, Camron, Joel, Scarface. All those make sense.

[Mall]

I don't know about that one.

[Daniel Cormier]

Why?

[Mall]

I don't know if Juels and Cam.

[Rory]

I think they're in a good, good space, the two of them.

[Mall]

I just don't know if. I don't know if that good space means come out on stage at Yankee Stadium.

[Rory]

Jim and Cam were not in a great place for the beside at Webster, and they both came out. But welcome to New York City. With Joel's doing the hook, Cam and Jay, I can. I can see them putting everything aside to do that in Yankee Stadium.

[Mall]

I would love to see it.

[Rory]

I. I'm. I'm high on the Eminem.

[Mall]

I'm still mad we never got a video for that record.

[Rory]

They could shoot it that day, put it on Vivo, Eminem. I can see that happening.

[Mall]

I could see Eminem happening.

[Rory]

Even though they. I mean, they did that already. That's the only reason why I think maybe it wouldn't.

[Mall]

But mit for that's the power of Jado. Like, he can, you know, when it comes to features and you know that he has on songs, he can make a call and get everybody for all of the songs he's performing. If it's a feature, they'll show up for Jay to do the record. Like, a lot of times we see some of our artists, favorite artists, do a song that we love, and it has a feature, and the other person that's on the song is not at the show. At the live show with Jay is totally different.

[Rory]

If he brings out Scarface and Beans and does Can't Be Life, I'll pass out. I'll need the wheelchair. If he could pull that off, that would be crazy.

[Mall]

Why wouldn't he be able to pull that off?

[Daniel Cormier]

No.

[Guest]

I don't know.

[Mall]

I think that's definitely happening. I don't think that's. I think that's probably the one. One that we can all agree is definitely Mary J. We know is happening for sure.

[Guest]

Yeah.

[Rory]

And I saw people saying she has a Vegas residency at that time. But of course, all the. The whole stamp pages routed the Vegas time difference that she'd be able to do it.

[Mall]

Yeah.

[Rory]

So, yeah, I think Mary. I think Mary. I think Pain in the ass and Mary start. Start the show. I think that would be it. But night three, I could see them doing the Campy Life shit. Dynamic says Locks, Maya, state property, Missy, Pusha T. Jeezy, and Ross for night three as predictions, which I can see as well.

[Mall]

Okay.

[Rory]

But I don't know. I'm excited. It should be. Should be a good time.

I tried to invoice. Invoice. I'm sorry. I tried to invite Rory to the after party, because I guess, like, Memphis Bleak is doing an after party. And then I remember that Rory can't, like, really party. Like, here's the thing.

I had no disrespect to Harbor. I've been to Harbor a bunch of times. For those that don't know, harbor is very, very much a club club. It's very clubby. I had problems with harbor when I was. When I could drink. Being sober in harbor sounds like waterboarding. Yeah, I'm kind of cool. Shout out to Bleak and Doucet. I just don't think that's gonna be.

[Mall]

The baby did be sober in Harbor.

[Rory]

You think she's gonna be sober at the show?

[Mall]

Baby, these. Never sober, 30 days, no drinking. Cut it out.

[Rory]

Well, I've been doing well. Cause I haven't drank. But JT can be in town.

[Mall]

Who thinks that Damaris didn't drink in Atlanta?

[Rory]

I didn't do anything. I was. I didn't do anything. I literally was. We're not gonna get in that. But I didn't do anything. I was chilling.

[Mall]

I didn't say you. I said, who thinks that Damaris didn't drink?

[Rory]

But I don't drink when I'm in the house, baby. So if I don't go anywhere, where would I be drinking at?

[Mall]

Okay.

[Rory]

It's Atlanta, though.

What is that? And I wasn't even.

Paul's not even sober in Atlanta anyway.

If Jay Z's in town, I feel like that's an excuse to have a drink.

[Mall]

Oh, my God. Jay Z's always in town.

[Ray Porter]

He's from here.

[Mall]

He's always.

[Rory]

He's always in New York on stage. Like, if he's like. As long as there's a mic in his hand, he's performing. I feel like I can have a drink in my hand. And I'm like, that's a good. Yeah, so I'll probably have a drink. And then if I end up going to harbor, which, you know, you got to let me know about that. If I end up going to harbor, then yeah, definitely. And then I'm hosting a Love island watch party.

[Mall]

More drinks.

[Rory]

I'm hosting a Love Island.

Just naming things. You can't be sober Reunion watch party. You're hosting a love. I didn't know you watched the show.

Yeah.

So you're hosting at the house?

No, I'm hosting it at Lavender room. But I am definitely.

That show has gotten to the point that people go to lounges to watch it.

Yeah, they had, like, watch parties, like how they did for the Knicks at, like, the Moxie.

And there's no commercials, right?

No.

Okay, that's.

[Daniel Cormier]

Wow.

[Rory]

So everyone just sits quietly in a lounge.

Yeah, they. I don't know about quality quietly. I'd be yelling at the screen, but yeah.

So are you going to be hosting, like, as far as, like, who should be doing polls of the crowd, who should be.

Yeah, do all of that. You know, and I'm going out with my homegirls. We going to say less and catch and all of that. I'm outside this weekend. I'm outside.

[Mall]

Heavy drink.

[Rory]

I told you, I didn't do nothing.

When I was. When I was in Georgia, I didn't do nothing. I sat in the house. I'm outside this weekend.

All right, well, I mean, you made it nine days. Listen, on the sober month.

[Colin Coward]

Nine days.

[Rory]

Nine out of 31.

[Mall]

Nine out of 31. I ain't mad at that.

[Rory]

Yeah, we'll try again in September.

I'm gonna try again. You said September, not even August.

Nah, we outside that. We young. We single. We young.

[Mall]

Oh, God. Like, young and single, huh?

[Rory]

Young single.

Wiz Khalifa song. Well, I'm. I'm on two weeks till eternity, I think. Yeah. The 25th. The last time we were all together was the last drink during Patreon.

[Mall]

Yeah. That was almost the last day on Earth, too.

[Rory]

Mall.

That is true.

Listen, man, how do you feel not drinking?

I feel fine.

[Mall]

That's what everybody that don't feel fine say.

[Rory]

No, honestly, it's weird. I thought that it would, like, annoy me a little bit, but. No, I really don't even have. Maybe it's because my body is still in shock from everything. I feel like if you put liquor in my face, it would make me nauseous. Like, I don't even have the urge to want to drink whatsoever.

[Mall]

Yeah, that's good.

[Rory]

My only problem is I wish I would have known. That was almost my last day on Earth. Like, I went right home, and I didn't even have Amara. Like, I could have. We could have done it two Thursdays ago.

[Mall]

Yeah.

[Rory]

Like, went out with a bang. I had. I had a glass of tequila with zip and went home. That shouldn't be the last day you ever drink.

Yeah, that can't be.

Like, that's why I'm kind of like. Because I have no plans on drink. I mean, eventually I probably will in moderation. Drink again when everything is fine. But that can't be the last day you drink for the rest of your life. You gotta do some stupid, like, total. Your car.

[Colin Coward]

Yeah.

[Mall]

I don't know if you. I don't know if you want to do that.

[Rory]

That was a joke.

[Mall]

I just don't know if that's a good idea. But, you know, I get it.

[Rory]

Like, did you at least beat off? Like, we know you ain't getting no, but did you at least, like, beat

off in the hospital? No.

Before you went. I'm talking about, like, the drunk. Like, did you at least enjoy the drunk?

No, that's what I'm saying.

[Kal Penn]

It was a.

[Rory]

It was the worst last day of drinking I had.

[Guest]

Yeah.

[Daniel Cormier]

Wait, y'.

[Rory]

All. Wait, wait, wait, wait.

When I'm drunk. Actually, I will say tmi. I don't. When I'm drunk, I have no interest in beating off. Like, none whatsoever. Like, it's not even cross.

[Mall]

I don't think any man does.

[Rory]

Like, yeah, beating off drunk is now. I think it's like, that might be serial killer behavior.

[Mall]

Imagine the rules for the. Like. Oh, God, I feel like I'm gonna throw up. And you just.

[Guest]

What do you.

[Rory]

You just shake crazy.

[Mall]

Oh, God, I'm so fogging drunk.

[Rory]

Not fucked up like that, but, like, tipsy. Like, y' all don't beat off.

No. And granted, when you get drunk, you do get a little more horny, obviously. But I've never thought about beating off. It's always like, let me try to get a girl here.

That's great. There's literally nothing better than having girls night, going out, getting drunk, coming home, and zapping yourself to sleep. Nothing like it.

That's definitely the difference. Yeah. I have no interest to beating off when I'm drunk.

Wow.

[Mall]

I was never drunk. It was like, I can't wait to get upstairs and shake one out. Yes. That thought has never.

[Rory]

Y' all should try it. Well, you can't no more.

[Mall]

That thought has never crossed.

[Rory]

Well, you don't neither one of y' all drink now. I'm the only staff member. I mean, co host that drinks. What type of is that?

Peach does.

But Peaches and I, Mike, we can't get his drunk thoughts. Peach. But the next time you go home, like, beat off, like, drunk.

[Mall]

Yeah, P. Just going straight to sleep like any other man with some self respect.

[Rory]

That's fire. I can't believe y' all really miss out on the best things in life, like, being like.

[Mall]

I don't think I'm missing nothing. Jerking off While I'm drunk.

[Rory]

No, I don't think so.

[Mall]

I don't think I've ever missed, like, the marriage. Saying it like, I'm thinking of the times I was drinking and I was drunk. I have never thought about.

[Rory]

It does. Not even.

[Mall]

It has never crossed my mind. It's tissues everywhere. And you didn't jerk off. Like, look what happened. The paper towel demon.

[Rory]

That's better than waking up next to somebody you wish you wasn't waking up next to. That's a young girls game. Young girls, they get. They get drunk and start calling, ah, ah, ah, take me home. I plugged this in when I was doing my makeup. It's fully charged. It's lit. That's crazy. Wow. Yeah.

Plugging in, like, when you leave the crib, like. Yeah, charged. By the time I get home, she's

[Mall]

plugging it right next to her phone. Same outlet.

[Rory]

Don't even know if someone's calling you or. Nah.

[Guest]

Or.

[Rory]

Or the rabbit is frisky.

[Mall]

Yeah, that's.

[Rory]

I can't believe that.

[Guest]

Why?

[Rory]

I never thought. I just assumed that y' all did that when y' all couldn't get women next to you.

[Mall]

No, just go to sleep.

[Rory]

Yeah, yeah. Or just keep texting until you fall asleep.

He said the morning.

A little. Little hangover be.

Yeah, See, I think that's sick.

[Daniel Cormier]

What?

[Guest]

That's.

[Rory]

I cannot wrap my brain around beating off drunk.

[Mall]

See, but for me, because when I was drinking nights, I was drunk. Like, for me waking up, the first thing I had to do was so jerking over. You wake up, your stomach be twisted, you like, oh, my God. So that's jerking off. Like, what? Your stomach is bubbling. Not. I don't even. That don't even cross my mind. It's never crossed my mind.

[Rory]

I mean, you could sit on the toilet and do both at the same

[Mall]

time, and then you can call the police on me because I probably killed, like, 17 people before my life. Like, any man that could take a shit and jerk off needs to be fucking euthanized like a fucking rabid dog. Put him down. Put him down. Trust me, you are doing the world a favor

[Rory]

beating off with a shitty butt.

[Mall]

Yeah, like, what are you doing? Never been that horny ever in my life.

[Rory]

Yeah, if you do that, like, I think it's fine to assume that you. You probably have some type of sexual assault brain in your head.

[Mall]

You're a serial killer.

[Rory]

Like, there's. You have a screw loose. If you're doing that 100 well listeners

let us know if you ever jerked off While drunk.

[Mall]

Because I don't. Let us know that.

[Rory]

Please let us know. Please leave a voicemail if you've ever

[Mall]

jerked off while drunk and call 1-800-betterhelp if you have. Use code Rory and Mold if you have jerked off while you were drunk.

[Rory]

And guess what? You woke up alone. You ain't wake up next to that harlot from the club. All your still there. Nobody stole none from you.

[Mall]

Yeah, I'll take it. It's a great night.

[Rory]

Stay out later than you wanted to stay out because you were spending money on lust trying to get somebody back to the crib. I'm just. I'm giving you the game.

But I feel like if I was drunk and I beat off, I would still be on demon time of trying to get someone over. I don't think I'd be like satisfied and done at that point.

[Guest]

Really?

[Mall]

No.

[Rory]

Now sober? Yes. That can stop you from making some terrible decisions of who you want to come over. But drunk?

[Guest]

No.

[Rory]

No way. God forbid if 50 Cent ends up winning one of three of the Emmy nominations he has for that Diddy doc and it is televised for his first

[Mall]

of all congrats round of applause.

[Rory]

50 Cent for sure.

[Mall]

Three Emmy nominations.

[Rory]

But can we think about the moment if 50 Cent is allowed on a televised stage where he can accept an Emmy for a Diddy duck.

So yeah, I know that might be

the greatest acceptance speaker.

[Mall]

He's got to win one.

[Rory]

Well, let's. Let's clarify.

[Mall]

He's not going 0 for 3.

[Rory]

Let's clarify. He is not nominated for 3.

The documentary, but he was the EP of it, so.

Well, 1. So he got nominated for best for outstanding documentary or non fiction series. The other, the director got nominated twice for it. He got nominated once. The director got nominated twice. But the documentary is nominated for three.

[Mall]

So what is he nominated for?

[Rory]

He's just nominated for the outstanding documentary or nonfiction series because he's the ep. Yeah, the other EP got one. And as well as the outstanding directing for non for a documentary, non fiction program. So he's up for one. The. The actual documentary is up for three.

Well, either way, even if the director wins, we're going to get a great IG moment.

Yes, for sure.

And he's going regardless, obviously, because he's nominated for one doc with three. He's going to be on the red carpet. We may get some of the greatest 57 moments of all time. That's all I'm saying.

[Mall]

Yeah. But I think 50 is not going to take that time to make this About Diddy. I don't think he's going to do that. Like, I understand what you're saying, Rory, but I don't think he's going to take that moment to make it about Diddy. I don't think so. I think obviously, 50 is and has been in music, I mean, TV and film for a very long time. So he's taking this space very seriously. So to be nominated for an Emmy, I don't think he's going to take that moment and, like, make it, like, a troll moment for Diddy. I don't think he's going to do that.

[Rory]

Didn't he have a Super bowl commercial where he trolled diddy? I think 1,000% he's going to take that time. There'll be at least one sub. I'm not saying the entire speech would be that, but he's.

[Mall]

Oh, no. There's going to be oh, no, for sure. As he should. But I'm thinking you make a shout

[Rory]

out to everybody in four dicks right now, like, he's going to say something. And with everything that happened with Daphne and I think it's unfortunate that someone would leak that tape. But the tape was leaked.

[Mall]

She leaked it. What are we talking about? Like, are we still on that? All right, you seen the press run she's been on since that shit came?

[Rory]

She leaked it. She could just be making lemon, I mean, lemonade out of.

[Mall]

She leaked it, man.

[Rory]

That was the rollout I've never seen, and rightfully so. At first, with the. The letter she put out of, like, that was a moment that I'm trying to get Ryan. She was a joy letter.

[Mall]

And run that through that. What's that new app where you could see if something was Chat G. Yeah, run that through that. Let me see something real quick.

[Rory]

It was definitely an interesting move after that letter to go on a gleeful, like, press run about it.

[Mall]

Yeah, like, come on, man. Like, we know what this is. We know what time it is, man. We've seen this. This is an old. This is an old rollout.

[Rory]

I. I don't think that she did leak it, because at one point, Vlad had to take. Like, a lot of people had the tape, so I think someone else did, but I think she took advantage of that moment for sure.

[Mall]

Who had the tape originally?

[Rory]

The guy she was in the. In the video.

[Mall]

You think she didn't have a copy of.

[Rory]

Was on his phone, So.

[Guest]

I don't know.

[Rory]

I really don't know. I. I believe. And I'm not saying that anything he Says is the truth or not. But in that Vlad interview, I believe

[Mall]

he said, okay based on her.

[Rory]

I believe he said he the only one puff didn't have it and she

[Mall]

didn't based on her actions after the video came out. Does she seem hurt? Does she seem like she's a victim? Does she seem like.

[Rory]

But that doesn't. But that doesn't mean. Because at the end of the day, you can be hurt and be a victim, right? Or you can go and make money and capitalize off it. She wouldn't be the first person to start to take advantage of something. Like, once some was leaked. Like, because what are you gonna do? You're gonna sit in your room and cry? You gonna sit in your room and cry? Or you gonna be like, yo, this happened, all right? I'm about to make some money off this. Like, yeah.

You don't remember when Mimi from Love and Hip Hop lost her sex tape?

[Mall]

I do remember that, Rory. I do.

[Rory]

How could TSA steal that tape?

[Mall]

We just got to get past this whole, like, acting like people are like, let's just stop. Like, we know what it is. Like, she. That tape was not leaked. Nobody cares about that enough to leak that. Like, she put it out.

[Rory]

I could see a world where that

[Mall]

nobody cares about who's. Like, you can open X right now and see everybody. Like, nobody cares about.

[Rory]

People do care, because we're sitting up here talking about it on a podcast.

[Mall]

I was saying that we don't care. Care about you saying that it was leaked. Like, cut the. It wasn't leaked if you put it out. And then you on a whole press run. Like, nothing about. She doesn't seem like she's so mad that the world seemed like, what are we talking about? And it's okay. Like, you having sex with your boyfriend and whoever else. Like, you're having a threesome. Who gives a. Like, we gotta stop acting like this

[Rory]

is, like, two and a half.

[Mall]

Well, whatever. Like, it's just like, come on, cut the shit, man. Like, it is what it is. Like, nobody gives a. That people are like, who cares? I don't. Let me just speak for myself. I don't give a who's. I could care less.

[Rory]

It's consensual, of course. Well, where. Oh, yeah, we're talking about the. The Emmy. But, yes, either way, that's still being 50s baby mother and them not being on good terms and this entire thing happening. And on this press run, obviously, he's been brought up as well. And not to say people have looked at 50 in a certain way. But yes. The mother of your child is on camera having a threesome with two guys.

[Guest]

Yes.

[Rory]

That people have looked at. Fifth, like, what are you about to say? Being on an Emmy stage? There's no way Curtis Jackson is not taking that moment to say something about both of them.

Well, he can't not say anything anyway, because when you get nominated, even in a regular documentary, if you get nominated for the documentary, like, you address what's in the documentary that you shot. So you can't go and not like. Of course he is. He has to say something about the documentary that he's not in the documentary, though. Oh, well, her. No, I'm talking about as far as she was.

She was one of the. Jane. Not Jane Doe. I'm sorry, what are they. What do they call.

[Mall]

She's nowhere in the documentary.

[Rory]

Her testimony is brought up in the documentary. It's just not her name.

[Mall]

Okay, so she's nowhere in the documentary.

[Rory]

No, but with everything that's happening in relation to Diddy with the sex tape. Yeah, he. She's been part of this entire thing.

[Mall]

The sex tape has nothing to do with the documentary.

[Rory]

You think that's going to stop 50 Cent from troll?

[Mall]

I'm not saying that, but I'm saying the sex tape has nothing to do with. With the documentary.

[Rory]

I don't think I. Well, I wasn't commenting on that when

my testimony about it was. Is in the doc. That's all. Either way, I think it's gonna be a funny moment. I'll be tuned into that to the Emmys because of it.

Is there anybody else y' all are cheering for for the Emmys that you hope win?

I don't even know who's nominated for anything at all.

So some of the people that you might know, like, obviously Zen is nominated for Euphoria.

[Guest]

Okay.

[Rory]

For outstandingly actress. I didn't even know that. Sterling K. Brown is nominated for outstandingly actor in a drama series for paradise, obviously. Janelle James and Quinta, which was paradise again. Paradise is the. The one that we all watch, you know?

[Mall]

Yes.

[Rory]

The world. The world's ending.

[Guest]

That.

[Mall]

That's one of the greatest shows ever.

[Daniel Cormier]

He's.

[Rory]

Oh, I mean, he better.

[Mall]

He's winning. What is he. What is the best lead actor, Outstanding

[Rory]

lead actor in a drama series?

[Mall]

Earl and K. Brown is one of that. I don't even care who else is in that. Nominee is in that.

[Rory]

Well, do you want to hear who else is in it?

[Mall]

Really don't. Well, okay. Gary Oldman, Slow Horses, Mark Ruffalo, Task, Rufus Sewell, the Diplomat. Noah Wilde, the Pit.

[Rory]

Noah Wild might take it. I don't think he deserves it, but Noah Wild might take it.

[Mall]

Paradise is one of the greatest shows ever.

[Rory]

The Pitt is huge.

[Mall]

Not bigger than Paradise. No way. No way. No fucking way.

[Rory]

No.

Wow. Might win it, but I don't think he will. I think that, that, that. That Sterling has it for sure. I think. I don't know who Zendaya's up against, but I do hope that she wins. She went. She smoked her role in Euphoria this year.

Does Sterling Cameron have, like. Does he have that movie yet that's kind of put him over.

[Mall]

He doesn't need it. Not when you're doing that.

[Rory]

Such a good actor. And of course, paradise was one of the best things. And I've loved everything he's been in, even the OJ Shit. Like, he's an incredible actor, but Hollywood needs to give him that one. Like, he needs to do a Scorsese joint. He needs to do something that puts him in that conversation. Because I think he's that talented.

As far as a movie. Yeah, I can't even when I, like.

He needs that one.

I don't even think of movies. I think of tv.

Well, we're in a different time, but if. If Robert De Niro was young in this time, he'd be doing Netflix series. Like, he wouldn't. He wouldn't just be doing features. Yeah, we're in that time where they're just as credible when you're doing a series. But.

[Mall]

And I think he's EP on that. On paradise, right?

[Rory]

Probably.

[Mall]

I think he's executive producer or producer,

[Rory]

one of the producers. Probably Ryan's looking it up right now. But, yeah, he did a. He did an amazing job. I'm cheering for him. I'm always cheering for Quinta and Janelle to win for Abbott Elementary. Every year. I want them to win every year. IO is nominated for the Bear.

Okay.

For Outstanding lead in a comedy series, if I'm not mistaken.

I watched the first episode of the new season of the Bear. I'm gonna try to lock in maybe Sunday.

[Mall]

Is that the one with the chef?

[Rory]

Yeah, yeah.

Because the episodes are what, 30, 40?

[Mall]

That's a good show.

[Rory]

I loved the first few seasons. Like, really love the first few seasons. I wasn't a fan of the last season, but because I love the show so much, I'm gonna obviously watch the final one. But have you watched.

I have not watched the Bear yet. I've been watching House of Dragons like I should.

[Mall]

When is paradise coming back?

[Rory]

It's probably not coming back for at least 2028, maybe. Yeah, because it was just on this year.

[Mall]

Yeah, but so was season. It was the season two or season three that just happened.

[Rory]

Yes, yes. Predicted to premiere early 2027.

[Mall]

Okay, so that's about right.

[Rory]

Oh, it's the final season, too. The third one that's coming. This is final season.

Damn.

But, yeah. I tried to convince Rory to watch House of Dragons when he was in the hospital. He said the WI fi was bad, his tablet was dead. All of these things.

Well, no, you told me to watch Game of Thrones first. I did, but that's eight seasons. And each episode is what, three hours, 1:45 minutes.

But now that I'm watching House of Dragons again. You actually don't need to watch Game of Thrones to watch House of Dragons. Same universe, but you don't. Different timelines. So you can start with House of Dragons. That's only in. This is the third season that's airing right now, so I might.

[Mall]

I might binge watch Game of Thrones.

[Rory]

You should have. You watched House of Dragons?

[Mall]

Never seen House of Dragons.

[Rory]

So House of Dragons is a prequel to Game of Thrones, I think.

[Mall]

No, I know that, but I never.

[Rory]

You should start. You should start.

[Mall]

But Game of Thrones, I was like. I was a Gotti for a second. Yeah, I was a Gotti.

[Rory]

So then start Houses, right? Because the new season on is on right now, so you should start it.

[Mall]

I don't want to be a hottie. I want to be a Gotti.

[Rory]

So the Gotti's are in the House of Dragons.

He just made that up. Just literally ignore them all.

[Mall]

They might be. Just never know. That's why I want to watch it again. I might have missed it.

[Rory]

Lucchese's in there. It's like. I'm confused. Like, is it like Harry Potter? The different Quidditch teams and.

[Mall]

Exactly.

[Rory]

The Bonannos are one. And I didn't know Game of Thrones was on that type of time.

[Mall]

Love Game of Thrones.

[Rory]

Have any of you guys watched Larry David's new show?

No.

Life, Larry and the Pursuit of Unhappiness?

[Mall]

No.

[Rory]

No, I've never even heard of it.

It's. If you love Larry David, it's. It's funny. What he does is he takes, like, huge moments in history, like inventing the telephone and makes it very much a Larry David esque annoyed type of thing. But signing a declaration of independence, like, he takes those moments and makes them very Larry David.

[Mall]

Okay.

[Rory]

It's not Curb. And I've seen some people complain about it, but it's light hearted.

[Colin Coward]

Fun.

[Rory]

It's fun, it's funny. It's Larry. Is it top tier Larry David? Of course not. But it's silly. And I've enjoyed the first two episodes.

[Mall]

Okay.

[Rory]

It's not bad. It's.

[Mall]

And this is on Prime.

[Rory]

It's on Max.

[Mall]

Okay. The Odyssey.

[Rory]

P. Jackson. We're gonna watch that?

Yeah. I had lunch with our guy Aristotle today and he said he bought 7am tickets for Odyssey. I said, you're gonna watch a movie at 7am that's sick. He said you can't get a 2pm time.

[Mall]

Wait, what is this about? And Travis Scott is in it. What the are we watching?

[Rory]

It's like the Greek mythology thing. It's the legendary Greek king of Ithaca. I didn't know they were doing this in upstate. On his long journey home following the Trojan war. Yeah, but it's got Matt Damon. Isn't a Zendaya in it too?

Zendaya is in it as well.

Yeah, it's.

[Guest]

I don't know, It's.

[Rory]

Everyone's talking about it. Christopher Nolan, like he directed it.

[Colin Coward]

Yeah.

[Mall]

So this is a big deal.

[Rory]

Very big deal.

Oh, we got a lot of my favorites on there. Anne Hathaway, Robert Pattinson.

[Mall]

John Bernthal's in it. That's one of my favorite actors. Love John.

[Rory]

Well, all right. What does Travis play?

Oh, they didn't put anything by his name.

[Mall]

A Trojan warrior.

[Rory]

Makes sense.

He plays Cactus Jack, the Trojan warrior.

[Mall]

Cactus Jack, the Trojan warrior On a voyage long, long away from home. Cactus Jack and his and his Jack Boys.

[Rory]

That's definitely what it is.

[Mall]

But he's a bar named Demodicus.

[Rory]

That's definitely the name of his next album.

[Kal Penn]

For sure.

[Mall]

For sure.

[Rory]

Maybe we should go see this together, guys.

[Mall]

No, I'll pass. Well, if not going to.

[Rory]

If it's a 7am is the only time you get tickets. Yeah, I'll wait for. For the dvd.

[Mall]

Yeah.

[Rory]

But yeah, I mean, Christopher Nolan. I know a lot of people are talking about that.

[Mall]

All right, so it's a big movie.

[Rory]

Yeah.

[Mall]

All right, I'll check it out.

[Rory]

I like anything that gets people to theaters at least. Yeah, because that's tough.

[Guest]

Mall.

[Rory]

Today's show is brought to you by our presenting sponsor, Hard Rock. BET Florida's sportsbook. And Mall FIFA is here. Everyone is watching the entire world. National pride.

[Mall]

That's right.

[Rory]

At a high. I might even storm the Capitol. Go usa. I am so excited for our Guys, if you're listening to this, we don't know the results yet. They are playing as we talk about this, but you better believe I already put my bets in with Hard Rock Bet.

[Mall]

We won.

[Rory]

We won.

[Mall]

We already won. Got this in the bag.

[Rory]

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[Mall]

Sign up with Hard Rock Bet today and place a $5 bet. If it wins, you also score $150 in bonus bets, a winning bet plus an extra $150 to bet with. Now that's how you get this summer's party started. Download the Hard Rock Bet app today. Roll with us.

[Rory]

Go with us.

[Mall]

Hard Rock Bet pairborn bonus bets not a cash offer offered by the Seminole Tribe of Florida in Florida. Offered by Seminole hard Rock Digital LLC in all other states. Must be 21 plus and physically present in Arizona, Colorado, Florida, Illinois, Indiana, Michigan, New Jersey, Ohio, Tennessee or Virginia to play. Terms and conditions apply. Concerned about gambling in Florida, you call 1-833-play- wise in Indiana, if you or someone you know has a gambling problem wants help, call 1-800-9 with it gambling problem, call 1-800-GAMBLER Arizona, Colorado, Illinois, Michigan, New Jersey, Ohio, Tennessee and Virginia.

[Rory]

He's dribbling the ball with everything on the line. He's driving down the pitch. He's facing price hikes and cuts past him Carrier contracts tries to block him.

[Mall]

Oh, he leaves him in the dust.

[Rory]

He's at the edge of the box. He cuts past the non stop group chat trash talk. He clears on goal. He shoots no unlimited data for $25 a month.

[Boost Mobile Announcer]

Forever. Visit your local Boost Mobile store today to get unlimited data with a price that never changes. Boost mobile after 30gb, customers may experience lower speeds. Customers will pay 25amonth as long as they remain active on the Boost 25 Unlimited plan.

[Kal Penn]

Hey everyone, it's Cal Penn. I'm the host of Irsay The Audible and iHeart Audiobook Club. This week on the podcast, I am sitting down with Ray Porter, the narrator of Andy Weir's audiobook project Hail Mary, Massive sci fi adventure about survival and science and what happens when you wake up alone, very far from Earth.

[Ray Porter]

I really had to make a decision because I caught myself getting that frog in my throat and starting to get teary as I'm narrating some of these sections and it's like, okay, yo yo, yo, is this indulgent? And I really thought about it. I was like, no. At this point it would kind of be betraying the trust the author and the listener have in telling this story if I don't go through it. But there's places in this book that that deeply, emotionally affected me and I left it on the mic. That's great because it served the story. People will say like, oh my God, I cried at the end. It's like, yeah dude, me too.

[Kal Penn]

Listen to Irsay the Audible and iHeart audiobook club on the iHeartradio app or wherever you get your podcasts.

[Boost Mobile Announcer]

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[Rory]

Yeah, no, I don't need to.

[Mall]

I don't understand.

[Boost Mobile Announcer]

You're trusting your signal out here.

[Rory]

I'm trusting T Mobile.

They have the best network and if

we end up in bumtots nowhere, well, we've got T Satellite for backup.

Whoa, I don't trust my carrier that much. We'll just use your phone as a flashlight.

[Boost Mobile Announcer]

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[Rory]

And if you switch today, you get free phones for zero down and only

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[Rory]

Find out more at t mobile mobile.com

[Boost Mobile Announcer]

or visit your local store.

[Rory]

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[Rory]

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[Colin Coward]

anytime visit t mobile.com hi, it's Colin Coward from the Colin Coward Podcast. Every goal starts with an assist. As Official partners of U.S. soccer, this team is ready to deliver Sensodyne dentist recommended defense of your sensitive teeth Centrum Fueling your day with science backed nutrients. Advil of course. Powerful inflammation fighting pain relief. Voltaren Arthritis gel helps penetrate deep, keeps the joints moving and Tums ready to counterattack with fast heartburn Relief. Learn how Halion can assist your game day [e-mail] Colin.

[Rory]

But off of film, into music. As you're listening to this, we have a Future album. We have a Larry. Well, no Larry June announced for the 17th, but we have a Future and Dream album right now.

[Mall]

Where do we wait? Future and Dream together.

[Rory]

No.

[Mall]

Oh, the way he said. I was about to say. Wait, where the. Was that like Future. Dream got an album together.

[Rory]

No, Dream is putting out Love Hate 2.

[Mall]

Yeah.

[Rory]

And Future is putting out his album as well.

[Mall]

What's the name of the Future album?

[Rory]

It's called the Real Me.

[Mall]

Oh, Ryan, close that.

[Guest]

Where. Where.

[Rory]

Where do we think Future is taking us with? The real me is this. I'm still toxic or this is. I understand my terrible ways and this is the real me.

[Mall]

I don't think we ever gonna get an album with Futures talking about his terrible ways.

[Rory]

And I don't want it.

[Mall]

I don't want it either.

[Rory]

I do.

I don't want futures 444. No, like, I not. I don't want him to change. I don't want him. I don't want to realize.

[Mall]

I don't want him to evolve.

[Rory]

Yeah.

[Mall]

I want him to grow.

[Rory]

I just want him to add another baby mother and just keep him. Just keep it moving.

Ah, y' all are tripping.

[Mall]

Add another trophy.

[Rory]

Futures 444.

Hendrix was the closest thing we got to it. I hope this is more Hendrix based off the title. Hendrick is. That's my favorite feature album. Just because it's more like R B Future. But I mean, I'm always here for a future project.

[Mall]

Oh, no, I definitely want to hear.

[Rory]

I'm just. I'm just curious what he's doing.

[Mall]

Did they release a track list yet? No, no track list.

[Rory]

Okay. No, but I mean, of all the places, he's like, projecting the Free Bands logo in certain places, like, you know, as promo. He did it at Magic City and.

[Mall]

Yes.

[Rory]

And everyone in Magic City. You don't need to tell is a Future album's coming out. Like, maybe you should promote it in places that people wouldn't know.

[Mall]

Yeah.

[Rory]

But that. It does make me feel better that he chose Magic City. I don't think we're getting a 444 if it's being projected at Magic City.

Oh, this is the track list.

Oh, just came out. Scroll down. Interview. All right. I like that. I like that title.

Snow and skyami. Oh, my God. I'm gonna do seven lines, Snow and sky, followed by Build a Build a. Oh, yeah.

Cast the spell already. Already sounds like one of my favorites.

Eye to eye. Styrofoam. Yeah. I'm here for it.

[Mall]

Who thinks on the album? Y' all think Drake on the album?

[Rory]

Yeah, maybe.

Only. Only because Feature was on Damaris said.

[Mall]

Maybe Damaris. We know. Maybe. Maybe, maybe.

[Rory]

You know what? I think it's a 5050 shot. I think it's either yes or no.

[Mall]

Yeah, it's either yes or no. Yes, he's on it or not.

[Rory]

Because he said, like, if you know, just tell us what song he on.

[Mall]

Like, how would I know he's on the Future album? I don't know.

[Rory]

Maybe he told you.

[Colin Coward]

Nah.

[Rory]

Or maybe he didn't.

[Mall]

There you go.

[Rory]

See he Future being on Iceman, I could see. You know, I know they don't do verse swaps at that level, but I can see if they were working that Drake would be on us.

[Mall]

Think Kendrick is on it?

[Rory]

No,

[Mall]

it's a lot of songs.

[Rory]

Future always does that, though.

[Mall]

So I'm saying who's the. We gotta. You gotta have some features on there.

[Rory]

I think it's probably heavy features on

there, but I think probably Drake 21, Glorilla glowing.

Future would be. Would be good.

[Mall]

Sexy.

[Rory]

Sexy is on everyone's album, so probably.

Yeah, she's on. She's on a Wayne Cole run of features at this point.

He's on everybody's album, so probably might

be on Tim McGraw in August for all I know.

[Mall]

So outside of Drake in 21, who are some of the guys we think is on it, though?

[Rory]

Probably the usual suspects. Travis maybe. I always like featuring Travis together. Little baby Gna

possibly.

[Mall]

I think he got a gun in joint for sure.

[Rory]

Possibly that gonna ring off gunna in future.

Do we think this would be a good time for TDE in the. In the midst to put Doshi on it?

[Mall]

That's interesting.

[Rory]

It wouldn't be because I think. I think she. She'd be fine in that realm. I think she can adapt to a future sound and I. I think it would just be a good look for her to be on something like that to show the range that she could have.

[Mall]

Nah, I don't think Dolce. I think Tim's though

[Rory]

listen. I mean Tim. Tim's and Future was on Cole's album together, right? Yeah, they sounded great together.

Undefeated. Every time they get together.

[Mall]

Tyler.

[Rory]

Tyler and Future would be. That would be great for her.

Belly Gang cushion.

[Mall]

Belly Gang is definitely on this album.

[Rory]

Oh yeah, that's right.

[Colin Coward]

Yeah.

[Rory]

They just put out the.

[Mall]

The single oh, so. Yeah.

[Rory]

Yeah. So never mind on that. But I should. I know a lot of people hated the Khalid future scissor Ms. Jackson remix. I wasn't terribly mad at Future and Scissor together.

[Mall]

Okay.

[Rory]

Sizzle on there would be great

[Mall]

Kodak, yo. I.

[Rory]

Future is so good that anyone. Anyone compliments Kodak, Kanye, and yo, when

[Mall]

I saw that clip with Kodak, said him, Kanye and Kid, you name me, their group is kkk.

[Guest]

That group?

[Mall]

Yeah, dog, I could not.

[Rory]

I did not see that.

[Mall]

That, bro.

[Rory]

Yeah, he said that's a group name. Yeah.

[Mall]

Is Kodak streaming? He streams.

[Rory]

We black Jews, We Israelites.

[Mall]

If Kodak streams, he might be the one dude that actually start watching streams.

[Rory]

I mean, I'm here for it.

[Mall]

Like, if. If Kodak. If y' all tell me Kodak is streaming on Twitch or something, I might, like, tune in to his streams.

[Rory]

Yeah, he's streaming, I guess.

Do we really think that Kodak, Kendrick and Kanye have a group chat? Hasn't Kanye been dissing Kendrick for, like, the last year?

[Mall]

Why just keep saying group chat?

[Rory]

Oh, that's what I thought you guys just said.

[Mall]

No, his. They. They were supposed to.

[Rory]

Their group name.

[Mall]

Yeah.

[Rory]

Oh, so the other two don't know that they're in this group? It's just like, Kodak just came up with this group on his own. We Black Jews. We Israelites is hilarious.

Well, the KKK is not too fond of Jews. Or black people. Or black people that are Jews.

[Mall]

So you see what Yak is trying to take.

[Rory]

I'm not woken up for that one. Yeah, you saw that. Kanye just announced New Orleans show.

[Mall]

Oh, word.

[Rory]

Oh, that's gonna be crazy at Superdome, right?

[Guest]

Is that what they call it?

[Mall]

It gotta be.

[Rory]

No, I'm saying it's. Whatever that is. It's Superdome. Yeah, that might be worth going to Love Tampa. Love San Antonio, like, cool.

[Mall]

But I'm just.

[Rory]

I don't know if I'm flying there. I would fly to New Orleans for. Yeah, we could take the Bishmi live van, park it right outside. That'd be where? August 28th. What day of the week is that?

[Mall]

I got it. I ain't gonna lie. I think I need to catch one of those Kanye shows live, though, though.

[Rory]

It's Tuesday,

[Mall]

August.

[Rory]

We could. We could record Monday and Wednesday in New Orleans. Yeah, New Orleans is a. Is a cheap gig, too. Like, I've never been. I'm banned from Airbnb because of New Orleans. So we have to put it under one of y' all names. But you getting Our ban? Well, no, I wasn't the reason it got banned. It was just under my name. Oh, we could do that. That New Orleans has cheap Airbnbs, big ass cribs. That would be fun. You don't look convinced.

Think about it. Ma don't want to hang with you.

We don't have to hang.

[Mall]

Not thinking that deep into it right now, but that is like an event to go to, though. Like, to see Kanye in New Orleans would be crazy. I want to see him anyway. I want to see that show live. That shit looks crazy. Like, I've seen the Miami show. Some. Some people on my. On my timelines at the Miami show, and I was like, yeah, nah, that's the show you might have to get to.

[Rory]

Yeah, no, absolutely.

So if we have the toxicity that is Future, is the Dream gonna balance it out for us? Like, I need. I need something to make me feel like I'm in love.

Yo, I don't know where Dream is at in his. His personal life, because when Dream was younger, he would, you know, do interviews, and we were aware of who he was dating. I don't. I don't know what type of mind state he's in. If he's in a toxic place as far as relationships, that's what it's gonna. That's what it's gonna be. So I can't say that he is going to balance out any toxicity between Future. If he's in 1977 mode, they're going to compete for who's more toxic at that time. But he's got Push, Ross, Usher, TI Swizz, and Kelly Rowland.

Oh, Kelly, Kelly.

That's probably the one I want to hear the most. It's a Kelly rolling record. You scroll over how Many songs total? 17. Not terribly mad at that number.

[Guest]

All right.

[Rory]

Be my lady featuring T.I. i don't know. I'm kind of with it. Powder Coat featuring Pusha T and Swiss Beats.

Okay, well, Dream is always great with rap features. That's why I'm not too scared of all the rap features on here. The Usher joint was okay. I'm. I'm more curious for the B sides on. On this than the singles, but it's

[Mall]

Dream, so State of Peaches sound crazy already. State of Peaches.

[Rory]

Yeah.

[Mall]

That might be the first track I go to. I know what he talking about on that.

[Rory]

I mean, neither of them are Spanish. Kelly or him. And calling the Papi Tiama. Yeah, that's. That's going to be a joint. Think they be speaking Spanish?

[Mall]

I hope not.

[Rory]

I Love calling Poppy.

[Mall]

Yo, get a hold of yourself. You all right?

[Rory]

No, I'm just saying, like, why do

[Mall]

you like holding Poppy?

[Rory]

Cause it make them. They fold. Rory said he fold when call him Poppy. He white.

[Mall]

He's white. He's supposed to fold. He feels like he's one of us when they call him Poppy. He feels like he's excited.

[Rory]

I do this when I hear that.

[Mall]

Yeah, like, yes.

[Guest]

Yeah.

[Rory]

No more and more of this.

[Mall]

Yeah, that's the white. That's the white. Black power.

[Rory]

You just turn the wrist.

[Mall]

Yeah, just turn it. You just turn it. It's a whole different. See this and this is different. You know, I mean, cl.

[Guest]

Poppy.

[Rory]

Yeah.

She wants to go to this. This afterparty at. At harbor, which we left out. Like, I don't think it's going to be the young harbor that she thinks it is. I think it's going to be a lot of 45 year old ex drug dealers from the projects in there.

[Mall]

Who's doing the part?

[Rory]

Sign me up.

Bleak.

[Mall]

Oh, this is Bleak's official after party. He's hosting it.

[Colin Coward]

Yeah.

[Rory]

Ma, you gonna come outside? Come on, Wall.

Damaris gonna be calling everybody Poppy in there, and that's really their names.

Come on.

[Mall]

Really have daughters?

[Rory]

Ma, you don't want to hang with me at Allison, Come on.

[Mall]

Nah, not at Harvard, though.

[Rory]

With Bleak in them. It's gonna be your peoples.

[Mall]

That's what I'm saying. Now I know what Bleak on like.

[Rory]

Nah, Bleak is a family man.

[Mall]

No, I'm just talking. Yeah, that's my shout out. Bleak Man Oblique is performing.

[Rory]

He. He has one in the Bronx on Friday, and then this is Saturday at Harbor, which is in midtown.

It's lit.

First of all, Bleak has records that go off in the club, so that performance will. Will be great. Him performing might get me there, but just for the performance. I don't know harbor sober, but yes. I don't think it's going to be the young that you think it's gonna be.

I don't think it's gonna be young. I'm not young. And I don't like young people. I don't know why you keep bringing that up. I like old. I want to be around all the old. Ex drug dealers.

[Mall]

That's Bleak, man.

[Rory]

They don't broke up with their wives. They looking for you, know what I'm saying? They want to feel young again. Jay Z.

[Mall]

Bleak at Salsa Confuego. Bleak going to my hood. All right, Bleak. Hold on, man. What you doing uptown?

[Rory]

Yo, Bleak gotta run like he has

an event in Brooklyn right now. No, Bleak is doing a lot of. Of cool do say around this weekend. So definitely salute to Bleak.

That's what's up. Yeah, we outside. Hey.

[Ray Porter]

Bye.

[Rory]

You doing the Friday one then?

[Mall]

What's Friday?

[Rory]

The one in the Bronx.

[Mall]

No, I'm not going to salsa confuego. I promise you that. I've had many nights over there on that block. Mosita Avenue. I'm cool. I don't ever want to go back over there. I'm totally cool.

[Rory]

All right, fine.

[Kal Penn]

Boring.

[Rory]

Well, before we get out of here, do we have voicemail?

We do. We have one.

[Mall]

You've got mail.

[Guest]

What's up? Let me know, let me know. I'm the. All right. So last year I met this girl, right? First date, he tells me he smells alcohol, like out of my por. So I'm like, can I be honest too? I say, you're restless. All right. She was like, oh, you know, I just say nachos. So that's why. That's why it's things. I'm like, it's cool. I'm not mad. You know, you rest things, whatever, right? But since then, choice made, she brushed her teeth or whatever whenever I came over, right? So then we fall out for a little bit and January, I spend the block, go to a crib, we chopping it up, whatever. And then, you know, I spent a night and it's like in the. In the bed. Like, her birthday was so bad, I literally couldn't sleep. Like, she would breathe and like, it would wake me up because it was. It was so. It was so foul. Like, that's not so sleep. Like, to go to sleep, I had to put my head in the pillow, right? So because of that, I kind of like took a step back and then I saw her again. She was like, oh, I don't want to kiss because I got bad breath. So I was like, damn, sometimes back to back, your breath stinks kind of weird. So I took a step back and. Yeah, so yesterday. Well, I see her, we talk a little bit, and then I tell her like, yo, like, you know, I'm saying the reason I take a step back is because your breath starts. And now she's mad at me, saying I'm trying to embarrass her statement, but she's like, nah. So your breath, like dead ass things like, am I wrong? You know what I'm saying? Like, I don't think I am, but, you know, yeah, let me know.

[Rory]

You can still tell the truth and be an.

I don't Think he's an.

I don't. But I don't think he's an. I just want to make that clear as well. But, yes, you. You can. A lot of people hide behind. Hey, I was just being honest. Yes, you're being honest, but you're also being a dick. Like, when it comes to breath, though, I. I think all bets are out. Like, you can just tell somebody your breast stink. I don't think you're an ass.

[Mall]

Is there a. Is there an easy way to tell somebody their breath stinks?

[Rory]

No.

[Mall]

Like, what is the easy way?

[Rory]

Pulling them to the side and make sure you have enough space to have that.

[Mall]

Like, Dimash. If that was you, how would you want the guy to tell you where you wouldn't be?

[Rory]

Like, so I had a partner tell me that. Well, okay, hold on. Is it, like. If it's continuous stank breath, then that's just, like, something they gotta deal with, but you gotta have a conversation. Like, I don't know if it's a bad tool, but you need to go to the dentist and get that figured out. If they don't get it figured out and leave. But I've had a guy, like, when we woke up, he was like, yo, you need to brush your teeth. And I'm like, you do too different. Yeah, but if you have, like, just constant bad breath, like, no, you need to go to the dentist and figure out what's back there decaying or what's

going on in your stomach or in

your stomach as well. Yeah, but if. If her breath is so bad that he can't sleep. Like, I done sat up there and ate some fucking fajitas with a whole bunch of onions and peppers and went to sleep and still didn't have breath so bad that it kept up at night. That's crazy. Something is wrong.

[Mall]

Yeah.

[Rory]

How the. You can't smell it. Your nose right on top of your lip.

[Mall]

I mean, that back tooth in the back. That black.

[Rory]

Listen, I. In the past, I've. I've. I've through some. Some smelly box before I. The bad breath thing, though, I don't think I could ever do that. That's a little. I like to make out. Nah.

[Mall]

Yeah. Bad breath.

[Rory]

The breath thing, like, is really a big no for me.

[Mall]

Yeah, Bad breath is something you can't look past.

[Rory]

Yo, you laying on a nigga chest and his breath stink and then, like, every exhale, like, you exhale in two and you inhale at the same time as him so that you don't smell his breath. So that your inhale don't match his exhale. Terrible.

[Mall]

So you're inhaled. Don't match yourself.

[Rory]

You try to find the rhythm of inhale. Like.

[Mall]

Yeah, you gotta breathe in between his. So you.

[Rory]

Yeah, I gotta be. Yeah, I gotta breathe in when he breathing in. Because if I breathe in when he

breathing out, then you.

[Mall]

Yeah, you getting all that. All that, all that air.

[Rory]

Yeah, yeah.

[Mall]

Nothing worse than cuddling with somebody and like, they scalp stink.

[Rory]

O like.

[Mall]

Or they bonnet stink.

[Rory]

Yeah, the bonnet.

[Mall]

I definitely said bonnet scalp combo. Cuz people don't know they scout be stinking.

[Rory]

Oh yeah, no, for sure people don't know that.

[Mall]

Yeah, you trying to cuddle and just like. Nah, she fucking your whole. Like.

[Rory]

I've definitely said to a girl, let me put that bonnet on delicate in the wash right now. Quick wash, 22 minutes on delicate.

[Mall]

Heavy duty. Spin that motherfucker around. Yeah, flip that shit around like a comforter. Put that shit on heavy. Put that shit on heavy duty. Fuck that delicate shit. Nah, heavy duty.

[Rory]

But I feel like we. I had a friend that had terrible breath. That was definitely a stomach issue. And I wasn't the only one that said something to him. But once he didn't want to fix it. We just had to deal with it.

[Mall]

I ain't gonna lie. If your breath stink like and we hang out like twice, you're not getting a third hangout.

[Kal Penn]

Yeah.

[Rory]

Cause it wasn't. You just had sour cream and onion chips. Like.

[Kal Penn]

Nah.

[Rory]

Yep, it is the sour cream and onion.

[Daniel Cormier]

Yeah.

[Mall]

You're too grown to be walking around with stink mouths. Like, you're too grown. Like.

[Rory]

And how you don't feel when your breath stink like. I know, like right now my breath probably stink cause of what I just ate and I feel the dryness ate in my mouth.

[Mall]

What you ate?

[Rory]

You said what?

[Mall]

What did you eat?

[Rory]

It don't matter what I ate.

But the point is, the fact that you're being so defensive makes you want to acquire more.

Because I'm on a diet, I feel guilty about what I ate. But that's not the point.

The point is only for your dry July. You only made it nine days.

[Mall]

Yeah, you think we're like, you think you're counting your carbs like the like anyway.

[Rory]

But yeah, like, you can feel the dryness. Like you feel that on your tongue.

Like, like you can feel your morning breath. Yeah. Do people that have bad breath all the time not realize it? Are they just so used to that?

[Mall]

Yeah, they used to the smell. They don't. And some people don't care.

[Guest]

People be.

[Mall]

People don't have great hygiene, man.

[Rory]

Some people don't care about no parts of them being stank. Like some people like will sit up there and twerk and know that they funky. Oh like they know. They'll know and they don't care.

Maybe this is being a, A shady friend. Well, not a shady friend, but I. It definitely did cross my mind with that friend. Like, like when he would date, I would wonder.

[Mall]

Girls are dirty too.

[Rory]

I. I would wonder how they would be. Okay.

[Mall]

Yeah, girls.

[Rory]

Cuz I would have problems sometimes. Like speaking to him.

[Mall]

Yeah.

[Rory]

Oh, and was kissing him.

That's what like. And I don't know if again I was not the only one. All of us individually said to him, yo, your breath smells. And it's not like a. A thing that happened today.

Oh, that's funny.

[Mall]

This is a, this is a body you caught two summers.

[Rory]

Like this is. I think it's something in your stomach. Like, like.

[Mall]

Yeah.

[Rory]

Just I. I feel like a bad friend not telling you you walking around. Appendix just burst and he never did anything to fix it. And he would seriously date and just talk. I would always wonder like, there's no way if I'm having trouble speaking to him that you tonguing him down. That, that can't, it can't be.

[Mall]

Cuz girls be funky too.

[Rory]

But even if you're funky, you can't taste the like. Does funk just cancel each other?

[Mall]

When you funky, you funky and when I'm funky and you know saying my girl is funky, then it's a funk defied party.

[Rory]

Yeah.

I guess when I've been in love, like kissing with morning breath hadn't because I guess we both have morning breath. So it cancels each other out. Yeah, I guess so.

That do not cancel out.

[Mall]

I can taste it though. But what level of morning breath though not terrible.

[Rory]

I'm.

[Mall]

Because you can have morning breath but it's not like stink. It's just morning breath.

[Rory]

Yeah. I'm happy. So I don't think my morning breath is even that bad. It's definitely morning breath. Yeah. It's not, it's not like chemicals.

[Mall]

Yeah, yeah. It's not.

[Rory]

Falling asleep with what? What? What? Oh, this is bad. I'm sorry. Fall asleep with squirt or like nut or like vagina on your tongue and then waking up in the morning, your morning breakfast. Falling asleep with what bodily fluids on your tongue?

[Mall]

Who's falling asleep with squirting on their

[Rory]

tongue if you was eating coochie the night before and then you Wake up.

[Guest]

Yeah.

[Rory]

Without brushing it in.

[Guest]

In.

[Rory]

In my younger days. Yeah. And beard and I just go to sleep now. Now these days I'm washing my face, brushing my. Everything is. Some people fall asleep, but in my. In my 20s, right on the pillow, still in my beard.

Fall asleep. Oh. If you fall asleep with your mouth open, tongue hanging out, and that tongue dry when you wake up, who falling asleep like a.

[Mall]

Like an old pit bull. Like tongue hanging out. Like, who's falling asleep.

[Rory]

Some people fall asleep with their mouth

[Mall]

open with their tongue hanging out.

[Rory]

I've never seen anyone. You never seen a sleep with their

[Mall]

tongue hanging out their mouth.

[Rory]

Know what I've seen?

[Mall]

Tongue hanging out his mouth.

[Rory]

It's not all the way out like a cartoon, something like that. But when they. When you fall asleep, like some people

fall asleep with your mouth open.

With your mouth open and your tongue

[Mall]

Is your mouth open. But you said tongue hanging out. That's crazy. A sleep with his tongue. He might be dead. Like he may no longer be with. Like he may no longer be with the living. Like his tongue hanging out. Yeah. No, that's crazy.

[Guest]

Yeah.

[Rory]

Well, let's answer his question. Is he an.

[Mall]

No, no, he's not an.

[Rory]

But you do need to. You tell her like, hey, I love you. Like I really with you, but I'm not gonna be able to be with you unless you go to the dentist and figure that out. Now if she hasn't figured out by now, she might be a filthy and you can't trust her.

Yeah, yeah.

I'm sorry. Because if a man ever told me my breath was stank, I'm running to the doctor.

Have you ever dated a cigarette smoker? No, I one but of like full

[Mall]

time cigarette mouth was.

[Rory]

I could never.

[Guest]

Ew.

[Rory]

Like a one time thing. Not now, but back. Yeah, but like every day. I don't think I could do that.

That's disgusting.

[Mall]

Yeah, cigarette mouth is like that.

[Rory]

That's a lot.

I don't even want to nobody that vape.

[Colin Coward]

For real.

[Rory]

Why your breath always smell like cinnamon toast crunch.

All right, I feel like. But with women dating a guy that vapes is way different. A girl that vapes, you don't care about your dick.

Well, that's. I feel like you feel like that now because of your age. But to our listeners that are 10 years younger than you.

Yeah, you're probably right. It's probably normal. Everybody vapes my age though. No, I'm not a girl that vapes like that. Imagine being on a date and she just keep taking a Vape out.

[Mall]

That is crazy. I'm sorry, bro. Like, seeing women vape is so crazy to me, like.

[Rory]

But we. I can't talk shit because I am a hookah smoker, so who the am I?

But that's.

You found a way to carry the

hookah around with you to me. That's crazy. Like, if you want to smoke hookah, cool.

[Mall]

Taking a portable hookah is crazy.

[Rory]

But our girls, like, we have those little square ones.

We used to have the pins. We used to have hookups back in the day, remember?

I think it's what caused my stroke.

[Mall]

That's definitely what caused you.

[Rory]

I used to fuck them.

That are the spice up.

The hookah pins, the weed pins. Like, I used to hit them. Shit. So I can't judge a vapor when I used to be on them hookah pins bad.

If a girl pull out that, like that rectangle thing.

Oh, the big vape. The big vape. Not the little cute little ones like this size crazy.

[Mall]

The like the shit that look industrial

[Rory]

size that only guys with gauges used to hit now like regular civilians do.

[Mall]

Yeah, like blowing O's and shit like that.

[Rory]

Yo, your day doing smoke tricks at the table.

Yeah.

[Mall]

She blow. Oh, around you. That should get bigger as it's coming. As it's coming towards you.

[Rory]

It's a heart.

[Mall]

It turn into a heart and it hit you. It's like, yo, like, I don't want to like you.

[Rory]

It's a cubit arrow.

[Mall]

Like, get that out of here with that. Nobody want. Now you got me smelling like Blueberry. M. Blueberry. Ms. Hard Hitting Me in the middle of my life.

[Rory]

Oh, my God, bro, that's nasty. All right, well, let's get out of here. Shout out to Future and dream. Definitely listening this weekend.

[Mall]

Yes, sir.

[Rory]

Shout out to everyone going to the whole shows. Everyone be safe.

If you see me and Rory, give us a hug,

you know, I mean, you don't have to just like, yo the wrong.

[Mall]

Gonna walk up on Baby D tomorrow. Nah, you said now. Now, you said Baby D. If I see you, I could hug you.

[Rory]

Yeah, come on, come on, give me a hug.

[Mall]

Then she gonna be mad, right?

[Rory]

Where my hug at?

[Mall]

Where my hug? Yeah, that's.

[Rory]

I was referring to women, but I mean, you know.

[Mall]

Hey, now, see, now, narrow it down now it's women, right? Yeah.

[Rory]

But men, if you see us, you can dap us up, say hi. I just don't like when I.

[Mall]

When all the men give Rory a hug.

[Rory]

Yeah, Autumn, give Rory a hug. I don't. And say you still here.

Can't.

I don't like when people see us and they like stare. Just say like say hi.

[Guest]

We.

[Rory]

We don't bite.

[Mall]

All right, well, be safe, be blessed. I'm that he's just Ginger. Peace.

[Rory]

No worry.

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[Colin Coward]

Hi, it's Colin Coward from the Colin Coward Podcast. Every goal starts with an assist. As Official partners of U.S. soccer, this team is ready to deliver Sensody dentist recommended defense of your sensitive teeth Centrum Fueling your day with science backed nutrients. Advil of course. Powerful inflammation fighting pain relief. Voltaren Arthritis gel helps penetrate deep, keeps the joints moving and tums ready to counterattack with fast heartburn relief. Learn how Halion can assist your game day [e-mail] Colin hey everyone, it's Kel Penn.

[Kal Penn]

I'm inviting you to join the best sounding book club you've ever heard with my podcast, Hearsay, The Audible and iHeart Audiobook Club. Every episode I nerd out with amazing guests and dive into the best new audiobooks available on Audible. It's the book club for your ears. Listen to Earsay, the Audible and iHeart audiobook club on the iHeartradio app or wherever you get your podcasts.

[Daniel Cormier]

This is Daniel Cormier from the Daniel Cormier Show. This podcast is sponsored by Total Wireless, the official wireless partner of ufc. Power doesn't wait in the octagon or outside of it. You either make the move or you miss the moment. That's why you need a network that's just as powerful as you are. With Total Wireless, you get unlimited 5G data keeping you in the action from the walkouts to the knockouts. Now that's a total power move. Make your total power move today. Visit totalwireless.com or stop by your neighborhood Total Wireless Store. Additional terms apply. See totalwireless.com for details.

[Rory]

This is an iHeart podcast. Guaranteed Human.