194 - The Sea Monster That Stole Children and the Man Who Fought Satan

Summary

Ninjas Are Butterflies – Episode 194 Summary

Episode Title: The Sea Monster That Stole Children and the Man Who Fought Satan
Release Date: May 15, 2026
Hosts: Josh Hooper, Andy DeNoon, Lily, Paige

Episode Overview

Episode 194 dives into weird history, legendary creatures, mysterious science, and inspirational stories—with the team’s trademark chaotic comedy and banter. Featured topics include an Inuit sea monster that preys on children, a man who declared himself king on an island near New York, strange tales from CERN, the story of Anthony the Great versus Satan, and the infamous "52 Hz whale." The hosts meander through conspiracy theories, folklore, history, and a deep discussion about life, faith, and the unexplained, mixing in their usual irreverent humor and random musical moments.

---

Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Comedy, Catchphrases, and Podcast Banter

• The episode starts with the group riffing on sponsorships, inside jokes, band names (“Burping Lavender,” “Pop Tart Goosebumps”), and accidental pop culture references (00:27–04:50).
• Memorable Quote:
  • Josh: “Great band name. Burping Lavender.” (01:46)

2. Copyright Woes & “Vlogging” Talk

• Discussion about how music copyright claims flag even short clips on YouTube, comparing their struggles to those of successful channels (02:45–03:13).

3. Childhood TV Show Confusion

• Debate on “Arthur” vs. “Franklin,” Wikipedia facts, and the famous Ziggy Marley-voiced theme bombshell (04:06–04:31).

4. Airline Big Ears and Presidential Roasting

• Story about NASA’s Jared Isaacman and a Trump moment about “beautiful ears,” leading to a comedic roast (07:08–08:18).
  • Josh: “Dude just getting presidentially roasted. Oh my God.” (08:18)

5. Food Intolerances & Fast Food Theories

• Andrew shares his (possibly psychological) aversion to soy and Chick-fil-A, leading to jokes about chronic “tummy troubles” being a “hot people” problem (11:32–12:16).
• Paige and Lily speculate about “artificial meat” at fast food chains and gruesome details of food prep (12:42–13:02).

6. Original Song: “Confessions Before the End”

• Josh and Andrew improvise a Broadway-style ballad about confessing secrets during an apocalypse (14:18–16:20).
  Highlights:
  • “I ate your leftovers last week”
  • “I kissed Bigfoot at a party... taught a dolphin how to gamble” (15:24–16:01)
  • Andrew (on the finale): “We did it again.” (17:11)

7. King Charles’ U.S. Visit & Monarchy Banter

• Satirical commentary on U.S. love/hate for royalty, Charles’ scandalous cufflinks, and awkward American history jokes (24:42–27:41).
  • Paige: “If there was ever a trip you were gonna take with a bunch of bros and there’s that one bro you don’t want to go...” (29:38)

8. Airline Pricing Conspiracy

• The hosts break down JetBlue admitting to “surveillance pricing” with “clear your cache” advice, sparking rants about hidden fees and ridiculous upcharges (28:27–31:45).

9. Private Islands & “North Dumpling”

• Josh tells of Dean Kamen (Segway inventor), who bought a tiny island near Long Island, declared himself king, made a flag and treaty with George H.W. Bush, and set up his own “nation” (41:13–45:10).
  • “He declared it the Kingdom of North Dumpling... made his own flag, constitution, established laws...” (43:00)
• The group imagines buying a Bahamian island, debating if they could live together (“two weeks before it goes crazy” according to Paige) (47:00–48:00).

10. The “52 Hz Whale” — The Loneliest Whale

• Andrew presents the story of a mysterious whale, detected only by its unique 52 hertz call, presumed to be alone for decades:
  • “Nothing can hear it—nothing can respond to it either.” (64:53)
  • Possibilities: a hybrid, mutant, or unknown species. Speculation ranges from "alien ship" to the “Leviathan.” (65:57)

11. Moon Landings, Memory, and Moon Cars

• Spirited debate about whether Apollo astronauts’ stories add up:
  • Paige: “Wouldn’t you remember every detail if you walked on the moon?” (67:39)
  • They ponder the logistics of moon cars, temperature, gravity, and the oddities of NASA’s early years (68:00–70:47).

12. Science, CERN & Portals

• Andrew investigates “CERN turning back on” rumors, the reality of their operations, and the viral “ritual” video at CERN (33:32–36:40).
  • “Physics talks about quantum fields, extra dimensions... virtual particles popping in and out of existence.” (35:27)
  • “Sounds like a portal!” – Josh (35:40)

13. The Inuit Sea Monster — Qalupalik

• Josh relates a chilling Inuit legend (74:00–85:41):
  • The Qalupalik, a scaly aquatic humanoid, snatches children from under Arctic ice.
  • It’s described as green/gray, with tangled hair, long claws, and large eyes ("the monster below who never blinks").
  • Its myth is possibly to keep children away from dangerous ice, but tales from different villages and even explorers’ records suggest a deeper mystery.
  • “It’s constantly watching and it only preys on little children.” (79:02)

14. Do Sea Monsters Really Exist?

• Discussion on whether old sea monster tales were based on real creatures (“Every sailor talked about mermaids…there has to be something to that.” – Andrew, 84:11).

15. Anthony the Great Fights Satan

• Andrew’s “Desert Fathers” segment (86:23–92:00):
  • Anthony, the father of monasticism, sells his possessions and lives as a hermit in a tomb.
  • Stories include epic demonic beat-downs: “...he literally battled the devil himself…” (88:41)
  • After withstanding torment, God tells him: “I was here, Anthony, by a way to see you struggle.” (90:00)
  • Notable quote:
    • Anthony: “Our trust in the Lord is like a seal to us and like a wall of safety.” (89:50)

16. Monastic Tales: Satyrs, Saints, and Lions

• Peculiar encounters: Anthony sees centaur and satyr-like beings in the desert, one asking, “Can you pray for me?” (92:13–93:52).
• Story of St. Mary of Egypt, former “addicted to fornication,” repents, lives 40 years in the desert, fed spiritually by Mary, and is buried by a lion (104:16–106:56).

17. Deep Faith, Isolation, and the Purpose of Monasticism

• Long discussion about why desert monks withdrew, their purpose, and impact on faith; hosts reflect on the strength and implications of Christian commitment then versus now (97:07–101:29).

---

Notable Quotes & Moments (with Timestamps)

• “Great band name. Burping Lavender.” — Josh (01:46)
• “Dude just getting presidentially roasted. Oh, my God.” — Josh (08:18)
• “If you have any power, one of you would have been enough. But, since the Lord has taken away your strength, you try to frighten me by appearing in numbers.” — Anthony the Great (89:50)
• “Our trust in the Lord is like a seal to us and like a wall of safety.” — Anthony the Great (89:50)
• “It’s called the loneliest whale in the world. ...at 52 Hz nothing can hear it, so nothing can respond.” — Andrew (64:34–64:53)
• “It is known as the monster below who never blinks because it’s constantly watching and it only preys on little children.” — Josh (79:02)
• “What animal is doing that to a polar bear?” — Josh, on strange animal attacks in the Arctic (83:44)
• “They didn't choose that life. Are their offspring doomed on earth as well?” — Josh, on satyr’s plea (93:59)
• “And God said, 'I was here, Anthony, by a way, to see you struggle.'” — Andrew recounting Anthony’s vision (90:00)
• “The whole world is just made up of mothers and their children.” — Josh (108:25)

---

Timestamps for Key Segments

• [00:27] – Creepy ice monster tease/openers
• [14:18] – Musical comedy: Confessions at the end of the world
• [29:09] – JetBlue admits “surveillance pricing”
• [41:13] – The Kingdom of North Dumpling
• [52:03] – Aggregate sports banter & Velcro confusion
• [62:00] – Random gross-out TikTok: “Is that a foot?”
• [64:34] – The 52Hz whale mystery
• [74:00] – Inuit sea monster story: The Qalupalik
• [83:27] – Sea monsters: myth or real?
• [86:23] – Anthony the Great & battling Satan
• [92:13] – Centaur/Satyr encounter in the desert
• [104:16] – St. Mary of Egypt, lion burial
• [108:25] – “Mothers and children” closing reflection

---

Tone & Delivery

• Wildly energetic, irreverent, and tangent-prone; the hosts frequently break into bits, inside jokes, and musical interludes.
• Despite the comedy, there are moments of surprising depth—especially in their sincere engagement with folklore, odd science, and faith.

---

For Listeners Who Missed the Episode…

This episode showcases why Ninjas Are Butterflies draws fans for weird stories, imaginative twists on history and legend, and unpredictable group chemistry. Listeners get obscure science rumors, genuine chills from folk monsters, the emotional weight of monastic struggle, and offbeat rants on everything from airline pricing to moon landings—plus a Broadway-worthy apocalypse ballad. If you like folklore, faith, and comedy mixed with “who even knows what’s next?” chaos, this one’s a classic.

---

End of Summary

Transcript

[Lily]

Ready to soundtrack your summer with Red Bull Summer All Day Play. You choose a playlist that fits your summer vibe the best. Are you a festival fanatic, a deep end dj, a road dog, or a trail mixer? Just add a song to your chosen playlist and put your summer on track. Red Bull Summer All Day Play. Red Bull gives you wings. Visit Red Bull.com BrightSummerAhead to learn more. See you this summer.

[Josh]

Welcome back, ladies and gentlemen, to another episode of Ninjas are Butterflies. Today I'm going to be talking about a creepy little creature that lives under the ice water in the Arctic Circle. It's going to grab your ankle and it's going to drown you, so watch out.

[Paige]

There's a man just off the coast of America who became the king of his own island. George Bush said, you're not invited.

[Andrew]

And speaking of desert fathers, we talk about Anthony the Great and him battling Satan himself.

[Lily]

I can't come up with anything original. I'm tired. Two shows in a week is tiring biz. So this podcast is brought to you Empowered by Sunday. Cool. Watch this or listen.

[Andrew]

Huzzah. That is so funny. Did you see what Andrew said?

[Josh]

That's great.

[Paige]

That's so funny.

[Lily]

I took that over the counter calm thing that you got.

[Andrew]

Yeah.

[Lily]

And I'm burping lavender.

[Andrew]

They say that's a side effect.

[Josh]

Burping lavender.

[Lily]

I can't tell if it's pleasant or not.

[Josh]

Honestly.

[Andrew]

Calming. Yeah.

[Josh]

Great band name. Burping Lavender.

[Andrew]

Burping Lavender.

[Josh]

Hold the stage. Burping Lavender.

[Lily]

This is so good. Give me Goosebumps.

[Josh]

Pop Tarts. Please sponsor us.

[Lily]

My gosh.

[Josh]

Get goosebumps from a pop Tart.

[Andrew]

Oh, my gosh.

[Josh]

Pop Tart. Goosebumps. Another great band name.

[Lily]

Whatever this new tradition is, I haven't had as many pop torts.

[Andrew]

Pop torts. Pop Torts.

[Josh]

Pop Torts.

[Andrew]

I love pop torts. It's good.

[Josh]

Me go the pumps.

[Andrew]

The Pop Tarts.

[Paige]

Please give me more.

[Lily]

Guys. Is that. The paparazzi is here.

[Josh]

Oh, snap.

[Andrew]

Oh, Mr. Papa Papa.

[Josh]

I'm your biggest fan.

[Andrew]

That was really good. So we probably will be flagged for that.

[Josh]

We shall see.

[Paige]

People have no idea how big of a. Like a. A problem that is. If that gets flagged, it's gonna be.

[Josh]

It has to be longer than like five or 10 seconds.

[Paige]

I don't know, because we. I've done the transitions with the. With the logo and I've used something from Artlist. And even though we pay for it, they've flagged us, literally. It's like Six seconds.

[Josh]

Yeah, it's strange. I just see, like, vloggers and, like, pranked videos that, like, legitimately use real hip hop songs, but they'll play it for four seconds and then cut it.

[Paige]

I think they're actually willing to go after, like, because that's a known track.

[Josh]

Oh, yeah. Just like, bigger channels again.

[Paige]

Yeah, Yeah.

[Andrew]

I don't know.

[Paige]

I mean, I really don't.

[Josh]

We are so big, guys.

[Andrew]

Yeah, dude, for sure.

[Josh]

We're so big. Shout out Andrew. Got me a diet mountain now, dad.

[Andrew]

Dude, I can't see.

[Paige]

Josh's

[Lily]

wants to look at you.

[Andrew]

I'm your biggest fan. I'll follow you until you love me. A papa, a papa tortse A papa torti.

[Lily]

This is too loud for the microphone. All this crackling.

[Andrew]

I think everybody knows by now because it seemed to become a little viral on social media. Did you know our favorite show? Yes, Arthur.

[Josh]

Yes.

[Andrew]

On pbs.

[Josh]

Yeah.

[Andrew]

No,

[Josh]

that's Arthur. What are you talking about? What do you. What do you mean? I don't know what you talk about then.

[Andrew]

Arthur.

[Josh]

Hey.

[Andrew]

What a wonderful kind of day.

[Josh]

What was I singing?

[Andrew]

I don't know.

[Josh]

Oh, it's Franklin. I was saying Franklin. You remember Franklin. Yeah. Okay, sorry. Yes, I knew what you're talking about, but I got the theme songs mixed up.

[Andrew]

Oh. Sung by Ziggy Marley.

[Lily]

What?

[Josh]

No way.

[Andrew]

Ziggy Marley sang Arthur song.

[Josh]

That makes total sense. Why it's so catchy.

[Andrew]

Hey, what a wonderful.

[Lily]

I loved Arthur.

[Andrew]

Get along with each other.

[Josh]

What was the sister's name?

[Andrew]

Three Little Birds.

[Lily]

Jw.

[Josh]

Jw. Gw That's a cool name.

[Lily]

D as in D. Yeah, dw.

[Josh]

JW sounds better.

[Andrew]

D. Doberman.

[Lily]

JW sounds too boyish. She's a girl.

[Josh]

Yeah. Okay. Francis. Talk about Francis.

[Andrew]

Anytime you talking to someone, you know, you say like a. As an apple.

[Josh]

Yeah.

[Andrew]

You should just do words that literally you can't figure out. Like there's D as in Django.

[Josh]

Yeah. That. They're like. There's a. There's a tick tock video that I saw like, that one time, and they were just using the most obscure words.

[Lily]

You know, there's like an actual, like, Alphabet where it's all. It's like. It's a pre. Chosen. You know what I'm saying?

[Paige]

Alpha. Tango. Said it's military.

[Lily]

Military.

[Josh]

Yeah.

[Lily]

I will be on a phone call and I'll make up my own words because I don't know what the.

[Josh]

What do you. What do you do when you're spelling out, like, what is the most common thing? Because I always have to spell out my last name, which is the easiest name. People think it's complicated when they hear it, but then they're like, oh, no, it's.

[Lily]

It's very phonetically.

[Josh]

Like, it's D noon. But they're like, can you spell that?

[Lily]

Mine is that they always call me Cooper. Lily Cooper.

[Josh]

Oh, yeah.

[Andrew]

It's been my whole life.

[Lily]

And even at the.

[Andrew]

Even at the doctor, they're like. They're like, trying to spell my name on. I'm like, it's just pooper, but with an H. Is it? Oh, that actually helps.

[Lily]

Yeah.

[Josh]

But I always go, D as in dog, E as in elephant, N as in New York, and then just O, O, N. What do you do? What are your. Like, go to.

[Lily]

Like, as in whenever comes to mind first.

[Josh]

You don't have, like, a set one?

[Lily]

No, I don't.

[Josh]

That'd be crazy if I never, like, I had to think of, like, a new D every single time. I'd run out of things.

[Lily]

I. I really should pre plan and memorize that. But it's. It's always in the moment.

[Josh]

You should do a theme. Like. Like. Like dogs. Like, so you're like, okay, I'm just doing dogs now. It's like, D as in Doberman, pinscher, E as in every kind of dog.

[Lily]

Oh, no, that's not it. What are the kind of dogs.

[Andrew]

Wow. Huh?

[Lily]

I was thinking Eskimo.

[Paige]

Wow.

[Lily]

You can't say the word.

[Josh]

Oh, my God.

[Lily]

It's a new bad word.

[Josh]

No, it is appropriate for cultures. It's completely fine. But it's just as a general term, it's inappropriate.

[Paige]

I don't know that. Trying to think of a husky referring to a dog as.

[Josh]

That's you on the phone, though. You're like, e as an Eskimo. I mean. Oh, you can't say that. I'm not. You can't call that. What do you. What is the dog?

[Paige]

The.

[Josh]

The Eskimo dogs.

[Lily]

That happens.

[Josh]

So E as an husky. Got it. Got it.

[Andrew]

Do you guys know Jared Isaacman?

[Josh]

Jared Isaacman? No.

[Andrew]

He's the NASA chief.

[Josh]

Okay.

[Andrew]

Have you seen what he looks like?

[Josh]

No, I don't know who he is.

[Andrew]

He's a million or a bazillionaire.

[Josh]

I saw this clip, dude.

[Paige]

I don't know what this is.

[Lily]

I've never seen him.

[Andrew]

Listen to this.

[Josh]

This is great.

[Andrew]

Trump had the astronauts of the Apollo mission. They're in the Oval Office, and old Jared was there, and this is what Trump had to say. Listen to this.

[Lily]

Are you considering relocating NASA's headquarters out

[Josh]

of D.C. once the lease is up,

[Lily]

states like Texas, Ohi Island.

[Andrew]

Well, the best man to tell you

[Josh]

that is the man standing right over here. You heard that question with those beautiful ears of yours.

[Andrew]

Wait, wait. Listen, listen, listen. Trick of the tra. Hold on. Listen. You gotta hear the follow up.

[Lily]

Are you considering relocating NASA's headquarters out

[Josh]

of D.C. once the lease is up

[Lily]

states like Texas, Ohio, and Florida?

[Andrew]

Well, the best man to tell you that is a man sitting right over here.

[Josh]

You heard of that question with those beautiful ears of yours? He's got great hearing, you know, Super. He's got super hearing.

[Andrew]

Trick of the trade, sir.

[Josh]

Dude just getting presidentially roasted. Oh, my God. Oh, my goodness.

[Andrew]

You know, he said it and he's just like, all right, I just gotta double down on this.

[Josh]

I don't think he care. I don't think he had any embarrassment.

[Paige]

I don't think he cares.

[Lily]

I'm sure the moment he met him was like, wow, look at your ears. Like Austin Powers beautiful ears.

[Andrew]

I could whisper in your hearing like a bat. You're a Batman.

[Josh]

Put your ear against the wall. I bet you heard. You can hear the conversation in North Dakota. Catch some frequency on those things.

[Andrew]

Oh, man.

[Josh]

Good times.

[Andrew]

Good times. So two podcasts in a week, huh?

[Lily]

I'm really enjoying my book, actually.

[Paige]

Three.

[Andrew]

Yeah, I guess. Three.

[Lily]

True. You guys have one tonight?

[Josh]

I mean. Yeah, we've already done it, though, last week. Yeah.

[Andrew]

You guys know on Patreon and YouTube members. You guys know already. You get it.

[Josh]

Who is it with Bart Sobral.

[Andrew]

Sobral.

[Josh]

Moon Denier.

[Andrew]

Hopefully we're not Jinx. Jinxing it.

[Josh]

But he's literally. He's the one that reached out to us.

[Paige]

Yeah.

[Josh]

He's been wanting to do this, so emergencies happen. Andy, no.

[Lily]

All right.

[Andrew]

This little baby, we will name him Bart.

[Josh]

Yeah, I don't. I have a big beef with people who just, like, wait to name their kid as soon as the baby comes out. They're like, you know what? We're just gonna look at the baby and whatever name pops in our mind. It's crazy because most of the time, if that was, like, the case, it would instantly just be like, every. There would be, like, a million kids named, you know, like, that's. They're not the prettiest things in the world when they pop right out.

[Paige]

Oh, wow.

[Andrew]

I think they are beautiful.

[Josh]

Do you want to bet? You want to pull up some baby pictures? I bet we could find some.

[Lily]

Do you remember that time you were, like, new here and you guys Were on, like, some kind of road trip, and I texted Josh a picture of a baby and it said, dis you. It looks like the craziest baby in the world.

[Josh]

I love that trend with you guys. You guys just send pictures of the most insane things. Just like, dis.

[Andrew]

You know, I just have TikTok folders of all of you guys, which that

[Josh]

is something we need to dive into. I don't know how to be a Patreon.

[Lily]

There's no.

[Josh]

Yeah, Patreon for sure.

[Lily]

Appropriate setting.

[Josh]

There's no. You just have to know us and know that we don't mean no ill will with it.

[Lily]

It's just no one is going to see these folders.

[Josh]

And I don't understand.

[Lily]

This is private.

[Josh]

But Josh will just scroll through TikTok. Scroll through TikTok and just see something, and then he'll see something in this person or the vibe of it and just say, this is Andy, this is Andrew, this is Lily. This is the other people you have folders of.

[Lily]

Yeah.

[Andrew]

Yeah.

[Josh]

It's the funniest thing.

[Andrew]

They're incredibly offensive, and I don't have

[Josh]

anything mean in my heart. To create my own folder for you.

[Andrew]

Yeah. So I'm working on it.

[Josh]

I wish I could.

[Lily]

Josh also has a Spotify playlist of all really inappropriate music that says Andy's playlist, so that if people look them up, they think that that's what you listen to.

[Josh]

It's like, very girly pop stuff too, but all explicit.

[Andrew]

So funny. Oh, man. Speaking of explicit. You want a song?

[Lily]

Yeah.

[Andrew]

All right. All right. That's the second time this happened today.

[Josh]

Don't die.

[Andrew]

I breathe in and, like, my throat scratches.

[Lily]

You're having an allergic reaction.

[Josh]

You're dying.

[Andrew]

Fun fact. I think I figured out I have an intolerance to soy.

[Josh]

Soy.

[Lily]

What? Where do you is.

[Andrew]

Why are you shaking your head?

[Paige]

It's not soy, dude. It's the chick fil A.

[Josh]

He's just offended because that's his people's sauce.

[Paige]

This is the same dude who goes to eat Asian food and it's like, this is the greatest thing in my life and it's fine.

[Andrew]

No, but he has poop my pants.

[Lily]

Yeah, he's always had chronic tummy troubles.

[Andrew]

Don't, don't, don't, don't.

[Josh]

Don't downplay this.

[Andrew]

Don't downplay my suffering.

[Lily]

It's just hot people in their tummies. They can't help it. Hot people, tummy troubles.

[Andrew]

They do say that. Yeah. Anyways, the soy and chick fil a makes Me, literally. Diarrhea instantly.

[Lily]

And you eat it every day.

[Paige]

Worth it, though.

[Lily]

Every day?

[Andrew]

Every day. Or whatever else they're putting in that grilled chicken.

[Josh]

Yeah. I mean, who knows?

[Andrew]

There's something in there.

[Josh]

May I?

[Andrew]

Real chicken Monday, Tuesday. I'm like, dude, I think I got the stomach bug. And I was just pooping and pooping and pooping and just going, oh, these past two days, great. Or yesterday, great. Today, grilled chicken nuggets. 20 minutes later, oh, yeah, pooping.

[Josh]

What if it's just artificial meat?

[Lily]

Is it artificial?

[Paige]

That's what I think it is.

[Josh]

I mean, at one point I saw

[Paige]

something about the Chick Fil a grilled. Grilled nuggets. Grilled sandwich that, like, has something in it.

[Lily]

It's 3D printed.

[Paige]

No, I don't think it's that, but it's just not like. Like when I worked at Chick Fil A, like, we got chick cases of frozen chicken in and, like, that stuff was prepped, but I don't think they do that anymore. For the grilled stuff. It's basically like frozen, you know, ultra processed. It's not what it used to be.

[Lily]

You used to work at Chick Fil A? Do they pay for your college?

[Paige]

No, I'd like, worked there for a summer. And that was it.

[Andrew]

No hate, but no hate.

[Paige]

Just a song.

[Josh]

Speaking of hate.

[Andrew]

Speaking of hate. You want a song?

[Lily]

Yeah.

[Andrew]

Oh, a piano.

[Josh]

Whoa.

[Andrew]

I don't know. I don't know. Please don't sing that song.

[Josh]

Song I came up with.

[Andrew]

Please don't ever sing a song.

[Josh]

Just trying to end racism. Sorry. Sorry, guys.

[Lily]

Sing your song.

[Josh]

Don't force us.

[Andrew]

We'll have to just come up with something real quick.

[Josh]

Yeah, I guess.

[Andrew]

Are you thinking what I'm thinking?

[Josh]

Yeah, actually, I am.

[Andrew]

All right. They said it's coming in at midnight Said there's nothing we can do

[Josh]

they said an asteroid's gonna hit and I'm just sitting here with you.

[Andrew]

Sorry Yeah, I thought I'd feel more panicked but it's quiet Kinda still guess the end don't feel that different when there's no more time to kill

[Josh]

we

[Andrew]

could drive but where we going?

[Josh]

Every road's the same tonight

[Andrew]

if this

[Josh]

is truly just the end we should bring some things to light

[Andrew]

yeah, I think that I agree no more secrets no more lies Just confess to me

[Josh]

right now

[Andrew]

say it all before we die

[Josh]

I ate your leftovers last week Said I didn't that was me. Killed a man in San Francisco and I've never had to pee. Never. Like the band you showed me. I look up to Genghis Khan, I work for the CIA, and my mom is Elton John.

[Andrew]

Okay, that's not so bad, I guess. Not surprised that much at all. So tell me just a little more

[Paige]

things that you never shared before.

[Josh]

I kissed Bigfoot at a party Standing under the moonlight Taught a dolphin how to gamble Taught a Nazi how to fight Joined a cult Became the leader Threw a punch and hit a bride and I've never saw Titanic Saw Sharknado and I cried.

[Andrew]

Oh, Andy.

[Josh]

What? What's up?

[Andrew]

I just got a text from NASA.

[Josh]

What? Really? What did it. What did it say? Is it coming sooner or what?

[Andrew]

No, they said it was false alarm. There's no asteroid coming now.

[Josh]

Are you joking? That's.

[Andrew]

No. What do you mean you've never. What do you mean you've never peed?

[Josh]

I don't. I mean, I was joking, kind of, but I just never learned. No one ever taught me. I didn't. I don't know.

[Andrew]

Wait, who did. Who did you teach how to fight?

[Josh]

I can't even remember at this point.

[Andrew]

Oh, yeah. Okay. Wow.

[Lily]

That was awesome. Very creative, you guys.

[Andrew]

Wow.

[Lily]

I love that. That was so funny,

[Andrew]

man.

[Josh]

We did it again.

[Andrew]

We did it again.

[Paige]

Saw Shock.

[Josh]

NATO and I cried.

[Andrew]

Oh, man. We have fun. We goof off.

[Josh]

Imagine that on a Broadway play.

[Andrew]

That'd be amazing.

[Josh]

Yeah.

[Andrew]

Amazing. So good new goal. Yeah.

[Josh]

Let's do it Broadway. Broadway?

[Lily]

On Broadway?

[Andrew]

Yeah.

[Josh]

You seen that John Mulaney and Nick Kroll Broadway play?

[Lily]

No.

[Josh]

Oh, hello. It's where they play two old men and it's the funniest thing.

[Lily]

Really.

[Josh]

It's so good.

[Lily]

Dang.

[Andrew]

Speaking of Broadway.

[Josh]

Yeah.

[Paige]

Excuse me.

[Lily]

Oh, my gosh.

[Josh]

Excuse me. Stop. Don't even. You fart all the time. You've never heard me fart on the couch. Yes.

[Andrew]

Oh, plenty of times.

[Josh]

Yes. Well documented. Cool pants, by the way.

[Lily]

Thanks, Thrifty.

[Andrew]

Speaking of Broadway, we have a way for you to answer this.

[Lily]

Oh, gosh.

[Andrew]

My bride.

[Josh]

Bro. Broad. Whoa.

[Andrew]

I said my bride.

[Josh]

I thought you were going there. You said Broadway and then you never. Okay, I just. My bad.

[Lily]

Oh, booger off your game.

[Josh]

You did it too soon. You got to get in the flow. I know.

[Lily]

I'm nervous.

[Andrew]

Okay.

[Lily]

About this question.

[Andrew]

No, you shouldn't be. It's pretty. I would actually say it's very simple to answer. Would you agree with this?

[Josh]

100%. I pre screened it just for you, just to be like. Okay, let's maybe try to take a little easier. You know? Give her a softball and I Think it's a very, very simple.

[Lily]

I no longer understand this segment because it was originally that we were all supposed to answer a question, but now it's not that anymore.

[Paige]

Ask a question.

[Andrew]

I don't remember it ever being that

[Lily]

way, but it's always been that. You guys answer.

[Josh]

Listen, the weight of this podcast rests on your shoulders. And I get it. It's a heavyweight. What do you mean? Everyone. Everyone wants to hear your answer. Yeah, they send it in to you now. Okay, we can't take this question and

[Lily]

answer for the whole gang.

[Andrew]

I don't remember that.

[Josh]

I don't remember it either.

[Andrew]

You have a poor memory, apparently.

[Josh]

Watch it.

[Andrew]

Apparently, I do. I'm sorry, but this question is for you, Lily. Today's question sent in by your viewer. Should our troops protect the White House?

[Lily]

Yeah, I feel like. Yeah.

[Andrew]

Oh, right. Oh, Lily, are you kidding me?

[Paige]

There are some people who would agree with you, but dang.

[Josh]

And see, this is why you get the question thrown at you every single week, so you can hopefully redeem yourself week after week, and you refuse to do it.

[Lily]

I'm not understanding.

[Josh]

Don't.

[Andrew]

Should the troops protect the White House? And of course, referring to the time of segregation.

[Lily]

Oh, that's very salacious, Joshua, that you

[Andrew]

just made that word up, and I'm just disappointed about the way you answered it. Of course we're referring to the time of segregation when they separated the whites, the blacks. Asians.

[Josh]

Yep.

[Lily]

Did you disappoint him?

[Paige]

Yeah, I'm Asian. You think I'm ashamed of that?

[Lily]

No, I'm not suggesting that. I'm suggesting that he's making you feel uncomfortable.

[Paige]

Am I supposed to take the identity of my white half?

[Lily]

I only. Oh, my gosh, no.

[Josh]

You're worried about him being uncomfortable. What about the thousands, if not millions and billions of listeners that are listening right now that you're making uncomfortable by saying yes to that question?

[Paige]

I was gonna have you babysit Noah.

[Andrew]

You want our military. You want our military to protect the racists?

[Lily]

No.

[Josh]

Yeah. Protect the White House. Don't protect the Black House.

[Lily]

No, I sound like I said I would never say that.

[Andrew]

You did.

[Josh]

That's what you said.

[Andrew]

That's what I'm pretty sure she said.

[Lily]

No.

[Andrew]

Well, I feel sick.

[Josh]

Don't feel sick, dude. It happens every week.

[Andrew]

I thought it was soy. Turns out it was my wife.

[Josh]

Yeah.

[Andrew]

And her racist attitude.

[Josh]

Yep. Yep.

[Andrew]

I'm so sad. End. I don't even know if we can continue.

[Lily]

You can.

[Josh]

The podcast or.

[Andrew]

I don't know.

[Lily]

What are you talking about?

[Andrew]

Welcome to the show. Did I say ninja?

[Lily]

I meant butterfly.

[Josh]

The butterfly is no doubt one of God's first beautiful garage. As an empty homage, you learned martial arts. Ninjas attack.

[Andrew]

This episode is sponsored by BetterHelp.

[Josh]

May is mental health awareness month, and honestly, it's a good reminder that we're all carrying something. Yeah.

[Andrew]

Even when people like us look like they have it all together, most of us are still figuring things out as we go.

[Josh]

Exactly. There are always things keeping you up at night. Stress. Relationship works. Uncertainty. And it's easy to feel like you have to solve everything on your own,

[Andrew]

but nobody actually has all the answers alone.

[Josh]

Right. And therapy can be a place to talk through what's weighing on you and get support from someone who can help you see things more clearly.

[Andrew]

BetterHelp makes that process easier.

[Josh]

They connect you with licensed therapists in the US who follow a strict code of conduct, and they match you based on a short questionnaire so you can focus on your goals.

[Andrew]

And if it's not the right fit,

[Josh]

you could switch any time. BetterHelp has over 30,000 therapists and has helped more than6.6 million people globally. People come on. With a 4.9 out of 5 average rating across more than 1.7 million reviews.

[Andrew]

The big thing is just remembering you don't have to carry everything by yourself.

[Josh]

Exactly. Whatever season you're in, having somebody with you makes a difference.

[Andrew]

You don't have to be on this journey alone. Find support and have someone with you in therapy.

[Josh]

Sign up and get 10% [e-mail] ninjas that's better.

[Andrew]

H lp.comninjas thanks.

[Josh]

Better help.

[Andrew]

Thanks.

[Josh]

I'm not so sad anymore. I don't know.

[Paige]

I don't know.

[Josh]

Who's to say?

[Andrew]

I'm just confused at this point.

[Josh]

I'm scared and I'm confused.

[Paige]

Oh.

[Andrew]

Oh, man.

[Josh]

Wonderful. Wonderful.

[Andrew]

Got you again.

[Josh]

I really do. We should look back on the. The. The evolution of the question. Like, I think it was pretty early on.

[Paige]

Yeah.

[Josh]

But it still is interesting. Our thought process of, like, we're all answering it and then we just like.

[Paige]

You think it was a thought process or we just got tired.

[Lily]

It used to be much more clever. You guys would have to listen. You guys have to do, like, a play on words or something like that. Now you just bait. You just basically give me an incomplete sentence.

[Andrew]

All right, well, be more creative in gaslighting you.

[Josh]

Oh, that's what you're asking for? More elaborate gaslighting?

[Lily]

You can. I don't think you got anything left in the tank.

[Josh]

Andrew, when you're editing, I want you to clip this for future reference so we can drop it in the pod. And you were like. When you're like, hey, it was too far. It was too elaborate. And it's like, ha. You just poked the bear, dude.

[Andrew]

Yeah, you did.

[Lily]

Another afternoon coffee?

[Andrew]

Yeah, man, I gotta do an interview at 8:00'.

[Josh]

Clock.

[Lily]

Oh, my gosh. Your health.

[Josh]

Is she your mom?

[Andrew]

Dude, I don't even know what are you talking about.

[Josh]

Can't have caffeine. Come on, dude. Live your own life, bro.

[Andrew]

Dude, that's what I'm saying. Back off. Just kidding.

[Josh]

Instantly back so fast that.

[Andrew]

What?

[Josh]

That was like at a horror movie. You're like, excuse me.

[Andrew]

Pardon me.

[Lily]

Oh, my.

[Andrew]

Yo, guys. King Charles came to the. The White House. He came to dc.

[Josh]

Dude, I thought I felt a little stink around here for a while.

[Lily]

Oh, my gosh.

[Josh]

Just get in. Just. Your highness visited us from across the pond.

[Paige]

Oh, hello.

[Josh]

Yeah.

[Paige]

Not my highness, dude.

[Lily]

Dude, everybody was tickled. Absolutely tickled.

[Josh]

I know. Did you see he was making a lot of good jokes. Jokes.

[Andrew]

The clip where he was speaking to Senate and. Or House of Representatives, whatever they're called. I don't even know. But he's like, there's Boy Scouts. It said, like, Democrats say no kings. And then it's like, also Democrats loves the king. And they're like all giddy. Like, just smiling at Charles is so funny. It's just different. They have a king.

[Lily]

I love his voice. I love the way that he talks. And the crown was perfect. A perfect impression.

[Andrew]

Yeah.

[Lily]

Of him.

[Andrew]

Yeah. He's not. He's not a very good guy, though. Like, everyone's always like, oh, like, it's like, let's just forget everything he did. Yeah, he did some. Not some good stuff, you know? Did you know on his wedding day.

[Lily]

Oh, gosh.

[Andrew]

Did you know this? On his wedding day, he wore cufflinks from Camilla. From Camilla. And it had CC on them. For Charles and Camilla.

[Lily]

Yeah.

[Josh]

Dirty dog.

[Andrew]

On his wedding day, dude.

[Josh]

But an accent and acting sophisticated can get you a long way.

[Lily]

In a sense.

[Josh]

Forgave a lot of sins, in a sense.

[Lily]

It's kind of sad, though, because they loved each other and they always wanted to be together, but it was forbidden.

[Paige]

Yeah.

[Josh]

But imagine if he did that because

[Andrew]

she was married, though. I mean, that's crazy.

[Paige]

Yeah.

[Andrew]

It wasn't like just some, like, single woman. It was like she was married, had kids.

[Josh]

Yeah. Be a man, move on.

[Lily]

Yeah.

[Andrew]

He also demanded from his mother the crane that he should have Four butlers at one time, constantly following him.

[Josh]

Three's not enough, Mother.

[Andrew]

I want more.

[Josh]

Three. Three butlers. That's. Last time I had four.

[Andrew]

Last time I had four. Yes, but the third is much bigger than the last.

[Josh]

I don't care.

[Lily]

One of the comments on his speech was like, dang, this speech has me empathizing with Diana's ex. That's what it said. They referred to him as Diana's ex.

[Josh]

It's just a. I don't know. It's weird. Explain to me because I don't know. History. I'm a dummy. When he made a joke about how Trump said, if it weren't for us, he'd be speaking German right now. But then King George said, yes, but if it wasn't for us, you'd be all speaking French.

[Paige]

Yeah.

[Andrew]

He's talking about, I think, the war of 1812.

[Josh]

Okay.

[Andrew]

When like. Or maybe it was just before that. The. The how. France. The. Maybe it was the French and Indian War he's referring to. Either way, France and England were fighting over the continental US before it became continental us but then it's like, well, if it weren't for us, we'd all be speaking like this.

[Josh]

Yeah.

[Andrew]

You know?

[Josh]

Yeah.

[Andrew]

So get out of here.

[Josh]

I know I'm not the only one that didn't get that joke. There couldn't. There had to been some people that

[Andrew]

are like, he also made a joke about how Trump was renovating the White House, and he's like, we've. We attempted to renovate the White house, too, in 1812, and that's when the British burnt down the White House. Yeah, that was pretty funny.

[Josh]

Yeah. Our architecture definitely falls short compared to what they got.

[Andrew]

Oh, yeah.

[Josh]

Which is like. It's got to be kind of crazy for him to come over here. Like. Like being, like, in a peasant's house.

[Andrew]

Wow. This is.

[Josh]

Love what you've done with the place.

[Lily]

A concrete jungle.

[Andrew]

Beautiful.

[Josh]

Their dreams are made of, I've heard.

[Andrew]

Wow. Good for you, Johnny.

[Josh]

Jolly good.

[Andrew]

Speaking of Charles, though.

[Josh]

Yeah.

[Andrew]

Did you hear about this tweet? It's not that big a news, but this tweet of JetBlue, this person out with JetBlue, this person tweeted, goes by the name Nugget since 94.

[Lily]

Oh, gosh.

[Andrew]

Said I love flying at JetBlue, but a $230 increase on a ticket after one day is crazy. I'm just trying to make it to a funeral. JetBlue responded, but then deleted the post. They said, no, try clearing your cash and Cookies or book or booking with an incognito window. We're sorry for your loss. Meaning it is proven that airlines do surveillance pricing.

[Lily]

Yeah, it is, actually.

[Paige]

Yeah.

[Andrew]

But it's like. But they're not, like, out there saying that we do surveillance pricing. It's like, yeah, for sure to find out. But they're like, yeah, we'll try clearing your cash and your cookies.

[Josh]

But someone who's not tech savvy, they're. That they're. No way. They're understanding or even thinking that's a possibility. So they're just like, wow, this stinks. Every time I get back on, it keeps going up and up and up.

[Lily]

Well, it's just so untrustworthy because it's like, that's not the actual value of this seat. It's you guys just being scammy and scummy.

[Josh]

Yeah, dude.

[Paige]

If there was ever, like, a trip that you were gonna take with a bunch of bros and there's one bro, you don't want to go, you just get on his computer and start searching tickets. It's like, how are you guys all affording this?

[Andrew]

I don't know, man.

[Josh]

We're going. I'm trying to buy those tickets to Montana. We're trying to buy them this week, but I keep. I keep going back because it's like, golly, it's so expensive, dude, just to fly there. It's crazy. So if anyone wants me to entertain them just for fun, just hang out, I'll. You could just pay me and I'll just come and hang out and do whatever you need. Chores, ranch work. Yeah, yeah. So, yeah, let me know. Happy to do it.

[Lily]

Yeah. I'm pretty miffed at Frontier because We're going to D.C. this month, and Frontier is like a rip off, like a major ripoff. Did you guys know that?

[Josh]

I mean, it's an airline. I don't know what specifically are you talking about?

[Lily]

It's just they say they always, like, advertise as the cheapest seat ever when you Google it. And then it's like, at the end of it, you've actually spent an extra $500 a seat on all the other.

[Andrew]

Like, oh, you want a seat belt? That's a $50 upcharge

[Paige]

next to the person you're traveling with.

[Josh]

Do you see that guy that was breaking down? He was, like, the CEO of, like, an airline, and he got in a lot of trouble because he was pitching out ideas, like having people stand during the flight.

[Paige]

Yep.

[Josh]

Did you see that?

[Andrew]

Oh, yeah.

[Josh]

And it was just like, it's going to be a cheaper ticket. Much, much cheaper. But you have to stand. He's like. He says, I'm throwing it out there as an option. You don't have to do it. But it's like, if someone wants to take a round trip across the country for 50 bucks, then it's like, I'll stand maybe for that.

[Andrew]

Crazy, though.

[Josh]

It is kind of crazy at the world that we're living in, but I'm like, I. If I'm taking a solo trip, I'm probably doing that. I would do it.

[Lily]

I just can't believe how planes are currently structured and how you're licking the front seat of the person ahead of you and, like, zero conveniences and it's stinky and the seats are garbage. And it's like, this used to be like a actually admirable thing to do is to go on a plane. It used to be like, yeah, like, getting drafted enough. Move on.

[Josh]

No, but you're right. But, like, people, like, would literally dress up. It was like a. Yes. I think it was just because it was a. More like not everyone was doing it. So. Yeah, it was only I was a big thing. So now everyone can do it. And that's at, you know, the cost of it.

[Lily]

So that's crazy.

[Josh]

But you think we'd have nicer planes, like, bigger, like, more like thought out.

[Paige]

The thing is, though, I think for the people who are affording flying in that experience back then, I think flying for them is still on that level. We're just not in those seats.

[Lily]

Oh, yeah, True.

[Paige]

Yeah.

[Josh]

Now that we have the private jet. Thank you. Thank you, YouTube and Spotify, for hooking us up with a private jet. It's so much nicer.

[Andrew]

So much nicer.

[Josh]

Yeah. We don't have to be full of a tube full of demons, as Kenneth Copeland would say.

[Andrew]

Yeah. Exact. Praise be.

[Josh]

I do love flying, though.

[Andrew]

I hate it.

[Josh]

I'm flying. I'm taking, like, four flights by myself this week, this month, and I can't wait. I love it. Love it, baby.

[Paige]

I love travel. I hate the flight. Like, if you could teleport and just delete that day, I'd be fine to lose that.

[Andrew]

Yeah. It's maybe it's not so much. I don't like the flight all that much. It's the airport experience that I despise.

[Josh]

Yeah. And also the possibility of, like, am I going to get out in time? Or something like that. Like, that's the anxiety.

[Andrew]

Yeah, that's.

[Josh]

That's a tough one.

[Paige]

When I flew back From Texas with meat thawing in a cooler. That was, like, the highest stress I've ever had on a flight.

[Josh]

Dude, I just saw somebody. It was peeking out their airplane window, and it was the guys loading up the luggage onto the airplane. And it was these, like, elk skulls, but they're covered in pool noodles. The skull was covered in pool noodles. And then the points were. But the guys were just, like, holding them up and, like, laughing at them like, that's obnoxious.

[Paige]

That's crazy.

[Josh]

Carry on.

[Paige]

It would cost over a thousand dollars to ship. Yeah, to ship. Amount back.

[Josh]

Worth it.

[Andrew]

So Lily showed me a TikTok last night, and she wanted me to talk about. Because she didn't want to talk about it. So I looked into it.

[Josh]

Okay.

[Andrew]

People are reporting that CERN turned back on.

[Josh]

Hey, throw back to episode one three days ago.

[Andrew]

If you know, you know that's not entirely true. Oh, looked it up. But this person's like, these scientists reporting seeing entities like these portals. I'm like, this sounds crazy. Why are we not hearing anything about this? Because we're really not. But I just found some really interesting things, especially when I looked it up on AI. I typed in, like, did CERN turn back on? And, like, yes and no. It's like, it runs basically all year, and they turn it off for, like, the winter months and then turn it back on. So, yeah, they turned it back on, but it's primarily running all year long.

[Josh]

So nothing abnormal about the schedule.

[Andrew]

Yeah, but it mentioned one thing in it which we talked about, like, I think the first episode maybe, or maybe in the first 20 episodes, it said there was this viral video years ago of a ritual outside of cern. Remember this?

[Lily]

Yeah.

[Andrew]

That turned out to be a staged prank by employees, not a real experiment or event. Yeah, it's like.

[Josh]

Right?

[Andrew]

That was the argument, though. It's like, when they got caught, they're like, it was just a joke. We knew you guys were filming. It's like, no, you didn't know.

[Josh]

That's like Bohemian Grove. All the presidents turning around. Like, guys, we got you.

[Andrew]

Got you.

[Josh]

Practical jokers. No, that's crazy.

[Andrew]

They're doing a ceremony in front of the God Shiva.

[Josh]

Yeah, big time.

[Paige]

Spooky.

[Josh]

Passing off as a joke. That's baloney.

[Andrew]

But I thought this was crazy. From the thing it says there's a kernel of truth that gets stretched. Particle collisions create conditions similar to the early universe.

[Lily]

Wow.

[Andrew]

Physics talks about things like quantum fields, extra dimensions in theory, virtual particles popping in and out of existence.

[Josh]

Come on.

[Andrew]

And I'm like, yeah, sounds like a portal.

[Josh]

That's 100% a portal. That's the definition of portal, dude.

[Andrew]

And this. There's this one scientist that did talk about at one point, this was maybe a year or so ago. There's, like, she saw, I think, with others, like, a ghostly apparition happening within the tube.

[Lily]

I have goosebumps all over my body

[Andrew]

while it was happening.

[Josh]

It's probably the Pop Tarts.

[Andrew]

Like, it looked like a figure.

[Josh]

Yeah.

[Paige]

Fun.

[Josh]

I mean, scary, but fun. Like, that's a crazy thing. Like, what are they really doing over there?

[Lily]

I wonder who it was.

[Andrew]

I don't know. I don't know.

[Lily]

Boy or girl?

[Andrew]

I don't know. Maybe Shiva.

[Josh]

Marilyn Monroe, maybe.

[Andrew]

Hello, Mr. President.

[Josh]

That's scary stuff.

[Andrew]

CERN is creepy to me.

[Lily]

Yeah.

[Josh]

I forgot their main purpose. Like, what is their actual.

[Andrew]

Like, find the God particle.

[Josh]

The God particle.

[Andrew]

I think it's more than that. I think last time I said that people are like, now they do so much more than that.

[Lily]

Yeah. Well, I think it is that they're just trying to study, like, what you said, like, the early universe, and see what.

[Andrew]

Yeah. Like, what is dark matter?

[Paige]

What is.

[Andrew]

Like, they're trying to find new particles to expand science and our understanding of things.

[Josh]

How is that someone's 9 to 5 job? That's crazy.

[Lily]

It's crazy.

[Josh]

Did you figure out the God particle today, honey? No. No. Maybe tomorrow.

[Andrew]

Tomorrow.

[Lily]

What if they end up being successful and then they create a universe inside of our Earth?

[Andrew]

That's a. That's a true legitimate worry or fear that they could, because they don't necessarily know what they're doing because they're colliding particles. Right. That they could, in theory, create a

[Josh]

black hole and we just get sucked into.

[Andrew]

And that we would.

[Lily]

That seems like pretty instant.

[Andrew]

I don't know.

[Lily]

We wouldn't feel it.

[Andrew]

Maybe.

[Josh]

Maybe it has to grow, though.

[Lily]

We're just stretching slowly. Did you ever watch a movie, High Life, with, oh, Robert Pattinson?

[Josh]

No. He's told me about it, though. You guys told me that spaghetti.

[Lily]

Gosh, the worst feeling movie of your life.

[Josh]

Right up my alley.

[Andrew]

Yeah. So just crazy things, man.

[Josh]

It's wild. It's a wild world we live in. And, like, when we're just, like. Our biggest problem was, like, surviving until past 30 and, like, the locomotive. And now it's like, let's figure out the God particle.

[Andrew]

Let's do it.

[Josh]

Let's just create another universe.

[Lily]

It's interesting to me what scientists are like, oh, we gotta figure this out. Right? Now before figuring other things out.

[Josh]

Yeah.

[Lily]

Why are we jumping to that when there's so many other. I feel like, more pressing things that we need to solve.

[Andrew]

Yeah. Isn't that weird, though, of, like, a lot of the things that we need to figure out has to do with, like, space.

[Lily]

Yeah. Or like, our ocean or, like, human health.

[Andrew]

No, I'm saying, like, what they're, like, consumed with doing what their priority is.

[Lily]

Yeah, I get what you're saying.

[Andrew]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Josh]

Well.

[Lily]

And then the Bible. Talk about that. Like, quit looking up at the skies and stuff.

[Andrew]

I don't know if it necessarily says that, but.

[Lily]

All right.

[Paige]

Could be just a. My theory is that it's an easy grant to get that no one can actually, like, question your research. Like, if you're doing stuff with tangible items, it's like, yeah, we'll show us the plant from the bottom of the sea that you're studying. Show us what you've done. But if you're like theoretical physics from some particle that you have to have clearance to see, it's kind of like this. Well, I guess they're doing important research that's going to keep us ahead of China.

[Andrew]

You know what I mean?

[Josh]

I think it'd just be having parties in space without us.

[Andrew]

Yeah.

[Josh]

And we would have no idea.

[Andrew]

There is something to understanding the stars, though, because there was that one watcher, that was his thing that he taught was to understand the signs in the. Or the signs in the heavens. The stars, the moon, you know, like the charting out.

[Josh]

Yeah.

[Andrew]

And it's like, there's something to that for sure.

[Josh]

It's not just like, all.

[Andrew]

And like every civilization, they aligned all their stuff with the stars and, like, everything was the stars.

[Josh]

Yeah. It's important.

[Andrew]

That's weird.

[Paige]

It's so weird.

[Lily]

What's super weird is that I watch that CERN video and then it said that they turned it back on on the 27th of April, which you're saying that didn't actually happen, but all the comments are like, I haven't slept in two days. Why have I been mad for two whole days? Like this whole thing. And I was like, I've been mad for two days. Group think kind of thing. You're like, it's gotta be that.

[Andrew]

Or just doom scrolling on TikTok and corroding your brain.

[Lily]

Yeah, I don't do that a lot. I do it at nighttime.

[Josh]

It's very hard to go to sleeping. Good. The worst part, to actually doom scroll. Worst time.

[Andrew]

Oh, man.

[Josh]

So hard to discern what is real.

[Lily]

Speaking of Oceans being unexplored. Yeah, go ahead.

[Josh]

Well, she teed you up. She teed you up.

[Andrew]

You're ruining my pacing. Oh, golly.

[Josh]

Can I talk?

[Paige]

Why don't you talk about it?

[Lily]

I didn't look into it enough. I just saved it to show you.

[Andrew]

Well, you brought it up, so you got to talk about it.

[Lily]

What am I going to talk about? Because I don't. I don't even remember it.

[Josh]

What am I going to do? Oh, so she was heating up to actually something real. Yeah, got it. We'll tease it. You don't have to get into. Right now.

[Andrew]

I got an island thing.

[Josh]

I got. I got a story.

[Lily]

Islands work.

[Josh]

Islands work. Team me up. Team me up.

[Lily]

Speaking of oceans being unexplored and, like, stuff in oceans, I gotta tell you about an island.

[Andrew]

Oh.

[Josh]

Now this is a story about a good man who owns an island. We haven't heard a lot of good stories of good men owning good islands. We're bringing islands back. Okay, so this is a story. That's a tiny island off the coast of New York where one guy declared himself king.

[Lily]

Awesome.

[Josh]

Pretty cool. Pretty cool stuff. So this is tiny private island outside Long island between New York and Connecticut. Okay. Owned by a man named Dean Kamen, who also was the inventor of the Segway. Wow. So this guy just creates a Segway.

[Andrew]

Wait, he died?

[Josh]

I don't know if he died. Did he die?

[Andrew]

I mean, this on a segue?

[Josh]

Did he really?

[Andrew]

I'm dead serious.

[Josh]

Google that right now. That's crazy. That's crazy. But this guy became uber, uber rich. Became super successful, but sick and tired of electric companies, government control, all of this stuff. So he found a little tiny island between New York and Connecticut right off of Long Island. And he says, I. I want this to be my home. He died.

[Paige]

Jim. Or Jimmy, however you say that. Hazelden, the British millionaire owner of Segway? Is that who you're talking about?

[Josh]

No, the guy that invented it. So maybe the CEO probably died. Okay, not the inventor. He's too smart for that.

[Paige]

But yeah, he fell off a 30 foot cliff while riding the rugged country model of a Segway.

[Lily]

Oh, my gosh.

[Josh]

That's crazy. I mean, what a way to go.

[Lily]

30ft kills you.

[Andrew]

It's not that tall.

[Lily]

Oh, but you said it was a rugged three stories.

[Josh]

That's three stories. That's still. You land wrong, you're gone, dude.

[Paige]

He's also old, so, like, yeah, that'll do.

[Andrew]

About a five foot cliff would take him out.

[Lily]

Enough of that staircase.

[Paige]

Tiny staircase.

[Josh]

All right, so this guy buys this island and just completely turns it into his own country. He declared it the kingdom of. Of North Dumpling. Is that not great? The perfect name. He declared himself the king. He created his own flag, his own constitution, established laws and everything, and even named himself the ruler. He had a treaty with the president at the time, George H.W. bush.

[Lily]

That's so awesome.

[Josh]

George H.W. bush visited this island of Kingdom of North Dumpling, came to the island, he gave him a tour. George absolutely loved it. They shook hands and he said that the US Would not invade and he would remain completely independent.

[Andrew]

Wow.

[Josh]

They had a handshake agreement treaty right then and there that he's on his own. The USA has nothing to do with it. He's off the main power grid, has his own independent energy system and even its own lighthouse. And the dude is just thriving.

[Andrew]

Current.

[Josh]

Current dude. Everyone knows about in that area, but I'm like, I've never heard of this.

[Andrew]

Can you. Can I see their flag?

[Josh]

Oh, yeah, I'll look it up.

[Lily]

Oh, my gosh. I would love to make my own flag.

[Josh]

We should make our own flag.

[Andrew]

So he's completely independent. So he can't.

[Paige]

That's crazy.

[Josh]

Is that wild?

[Andrew]

How do you just do that?

[Josh]

I don't know, man. That's. That would just be so fun.

[Andrew]

That's nuts.

[Lily]

You would have to find this. Was the island under American. Was it an American island or. Nobody owned it.

[Andrew]

That.

[Josh]

I don't know.

[Andrew]

Yeah, I guess.

[Paige]

How would that work?

[Andrew]

Because it's American land, right?

[Lily]

Yeah.

[Andrew]

Can we just conquer islands?

[Josh]

That's the flag right there. Not that great. I like it, but I mean, you know, it's.

[Andrew]

It's a little cultish.

[Josh]

Yeah, definitely does.

[Lily]

That's.

[Josh]

That's the. That's the.

[Paige]

All right.

[Josh]

Yeah.

[Andrew]

I think that's kind of fun.

[Josh]

I think it's awesome. Like, that's. That's literally north dumb.

[Andrew]

Oh, so it's tiny. Tiny.

[Josh]

Oh, it's very tiny. But it's his.

[Lily]

Yeah.

[Josh]

So fun.

[Andrew]

That's pretty cool. That's, like, where you can pay, like, the 50 bucks and you become a lord in Scotland.

[Lily]

Yeah, I love that.

[Andrew]

Except this guy is like, I'm gonna buy an island, become king.

[Josh]

Oh, man. I want. I should have looked up the Constitution. Didn't Johnny.

[Paige]

Didn't Johnny Depp buy an entire island with his pirates money?

[Lily]

That's awesome.

[Andrew]

Did you hear what Disney's doing, though?

[Paige]

No.

[Andrew]

They are. They issued a formal apology to Johnny Depp, and they are offering him like, $290 million to come back and play in Pirates. That's amazing because he said, I'll never do Pirates unless Disney apologizes and pays me $300 million.

[Lily]

290.

[Paige]

I know.

[Lily]

That's a little insulting.

[Andrew]

I know. It's like I would say, no, do 10 more.

[Lily]

That's like almost a statement.

[Andrew]

I know, isn't it?

[Lily]

What's $10 million to you, Disney?

[Josh]

I'm saying that's crazy, dude.

[Andrew]

They'd make it back with Johnny Depp and Pirates, dude.

[Josh]

Internationally would be insane.

[Lily]

The store that I used to work at in epcot would do 500 grand on a Saturday. 500 grand in one Saturday.

[Josh]

It's bonkers. It's bonkers, bro.

[Paige]

He bought Little Hall's Pond Cay, a 45 acre private island in the Bahamas in 2004. How much do you think? I mean, this, this. Look at this place. Like, this is crazy. This looks epic.

[Josh]

Yeah.

[Paige]

45 acre Bahamas. Throw a number.

[Josh]

I'll say 2 million.

[Andrew]

Oh, that.

[Paige]

That's like a steal.

[Josh]

I know, but I just think in 2004, I'm thinking, like, it's. If it's remote. I don't know, Like.

[Paige]

Yeah.

[Josh]

I don't know.

[Andrew]

$53.6 million.

[Paige]

3.6 for 45 private acres.

[Andrew]

You're on the Bahamas island.

[Josh]

Yeah. You can. You can't get 45 acres in Florida for that price.

[Paige]

There's like a mansion on it too.

[Josh]

That's crazy.

[Andrew]

Dang.

[Josh]

Just getting there, I guess.

[Lily]

Oh, my gosh.

[Andrew]

We could buy that.

[Josh]

Yeah, dude, let's do it. I'll write the check right now.

[Andrew]

They'll do a private plane.

[Josh]

Yeah.

[Andrew]

To our own island.

[Josh]

Yeah. The cabinet members of North Dumpling.

[Andrew]

Yeah.

[Josh]

Include a minister of brunch who wrote the national anthem. Ministers of ice cream, Ben and Jerry. And a sturgeon general and a minister of nepotism. This guy's just. It's literally just like a joke constitution that he made.

[Andrew]

That's pretty awesome.

[Josh]

That's great.

[Andrew]

Why did you send us this?

[Lily]

Tubai?

[Josh]

Why did you send us this?

[Andrew]

Why did you send us this?

[Lily]

To buy.

[Josh]

What is this?

[Andrew]

Oh, 21 million. Come on. That's crazy.

[Josh]

We're going to have a gofundme in the description. Please donate. So we can have a private island.

[Lily]

This one already has a house on it.

[Paige]

I would never do anything but fish.

[Josh]

Speaking of oceans, could we all live together?

[Andrew]

Yeah, we could.

[Josh]

How crazy.

[Lily]

I think that'd be great.

[Josh]

How long do you think it would take us for us to go crazy?

[Paige]

Two weeks.

[Josh]

Two weeks?

[Andrew]

Not me.

[Lily]

No way. Are you guys kidding me? If we had food delivered and all. Oh, my gosh. It'll be the best thing ever. And when we need space, it'd just be like, go to your house. Stop bugging me.

[Paige]

I thought it was one house.

[Lily]

We would not live in the same house.

[Josh]

That's what.

[Paige]

That's what I was.

[Josh]

Oh, no.

[Lily]

We would build separate houses.

[Josh]

Why?

[Andrew]

No, let's, like, build a house like the size of this room. All living there.

[Lily]

We're not doing that.

[Josh]

Let me and Josh have our own house.

[Lily]

Yeah, that's what sounds like. Me and Kelsey can have our own house.

[Paige]

I'll just live in the swamp.

[Andrew]

Speaking of ocean. Yeah. I have a story about the most mysterious whale in existence.

[Josh]

This is a joke at me. I'm gonna kill you.

[Andrew]

It's not a joke. And I'm gonna tell you. I've drew this.

[Lily]

And don't go anywhere.

[Josh]

Wow, that went by fast. That was a good first half. Yeah, a lot of good stories.

[Andrew]

Don't you ever set me up like that. Oh, my gosh. This episode is sponsored by BetterHelp.

[Josh]

May is mental health awareness month. And honestly, it's a good reminder that we' carrying something.

[Andrew]

Yeah. Even when people like us look like they have it all together, most of us are still figuring things out as we go.

[Josh]

Exactly. There are always things keeping you up at night. Stress. Relationship works. Uncertainty. And it's easy to feel like you have to solve everything on your own,

[Andrew]

but nobody actually has all the answers alone.

[Josh]

Right. And therapy can be a place to talk through what's weighing on you and get support from someone who can help you see things more clearly.

[Andrew]

Better help makes that process easier.

[Josh]

They connect you with licensed therapists in the US who follow a strict code of conduct, and they match you based on a short questionnaire so you can focus on your goals.

[Andrew]

And if it's not the right fit,

[Josh]

you could switch any time. BetterHelp has over 30,000 therapists and has helped more than 6 million people globally. People come on with a 4.9 out of 5 average rating across more than 1.7 million reviews.

[Andrew]

The big thing is just remembering you don't have to carry everything by yourself.

[Josh]

Exactly. Whatever season you're in, having somebody with you makes a difference.

[Andrew]

You don't have to be on this journey alone. Find support and have someone with you in therapy.

[Josh]

Sign up and get 10% off at betterhelp.com/ninjas.

[Andrew]

That's better. H E L p.com/ninja.

[Josh]

Thanks. Better help.

[Andrew]

Thanks.

[Josh]

I'm not so sad anymore. Summer's right around the corner. You got plenty of activities and events that are coming up. And you need shirts, shirts, shirts. I said go to sundaycool.com order custom tees for you or your group today. Whether it's a summer camp, whether it's vbs, whether it's the old family get together. You need shirts, stickers, hats. We do them all custom in house right here.

[Andrew]

And you know what's good for summer on T shirts? Our new awesome water reveal ink. That's right, baby summer camps. Water balloon fights, baptisms, Going surfing, baby Water reveal inks. It's like magic on your shirt. It's the coolest thing ever.

[Josh]

Where do they go, andrew?

[Andrew]

Sundaycool.com where do they go, lily?

[Lily]

Sundaycool.com where do they go?

[Andrew]

Sundaycool.com.

[Lily]

When is your most important game?

[Josh]

Next Saturday.

[Lily]

Not this Saturday.

[Josh]

No, this Saturday is playoffs. If we win, we go to the championship.

[Lily]

Okay. We have to go to this Saturday though too.

[Josh]

We make it the championship, it'll be,

[Lily]

oh my gosh,

[Andrew]

that's so lame how they do it though, because they have to win in the playoffs to go to the championship. Even though they've won almost every single game except one.

[Lily]

Oh, that would be so weird if they didn't let you go.

[Josh]

Which it makes sense. Like bracket wise, you have to play in a bracket. That's like every Sport. But we're 6 and 1. We've got a loss under our belt.

[Andrew]

It needs to be point system.

[Josh]

Yeah, I mean, we're crushing it.

[Paige]

So we're crushing it once the score on aggregate.

[Lily]

What's that? Aggregate.

[Paige]

Hold up.

[Andrew]

What the arrow get.

[Josh]

What'd you call me?

[Lily]

Remember when angel would you call me?

[Andrew]

Ain't no aggravate.

[Lily]

Remember when angel said what the heck a Velpro?

[Josh]

Yeah, what?

[Andrew]

I said, hey, can you grab the Velcro? We had like a roll of Velcro. He said, what the heck? A Vel pro. And I'm like, hold on, you don't know what Velcro is? He said, no, Pa. I said, you know what Velcro is?

[Josh]

You've been around Velcro.

[Andrew]

He said, pa, I don't know what Velcro is. I said, like you when you're a kid, you didn't have like Velcro shoes? Like, no, I don't know what that is.

[Josh]

That's crazy.

[Andrew]

I didn't know what Velcro was.

[Josh]

That's wild.

[Andrew]

They called it Velpro.

[Lily]

Like a Velpr.

[Josh]

I've never Been to Uber Java. That's literally his version.

[Paige]

Wasn't he a pro boxer? Yeah, that for sure Velcroed his glove shut.

[Josh]

I mean, they tie and, like, in pro.

[Paige]

Even in trainers, though.

[Josh]

I mean, I don't know. Depends on where. It depends on where you're from. I mean.

[Paige]

Yeah. I don't know.

[Josh]

Velcro seems very, like, American.

[Andrew]

Like, he did boxing for a long time, got hit in the head a lot. He didn't even remember his own. He didn't even remember his own birthday.

[Josh]

That's crazy.

[Andrew]

And we always ask him, like, how old are you? And he's like, I don't know, Paul. Like, I don't know.

[Josh]

He never. He never just told me his real age. He's like. It was a mystery. It's like, show me your id, bro.

[Andrew]

So funny. Speaking of so funny, did you know it's question corner, Question corner, Question corner

[Josh]

with Lily, when the questions are fresh

[Lily]

on her mind again, it's like, I forget what part of the day it is. Okay.

[Josh]

190 episodes.

[Lily]

This is. You guys are gonna be like. But I thought it was a fun question to think about. What is your dream street or, like, shopping center? You fill it with five of your favorite stores.

[Josh]

Yeah.

[Lily]

Just to have easy access to. I'll go first.

[Josh]

I've. I've. I've played a very similar game. This one is the same. It could be a mixture. If you could only live with three or five stores for the rest of your life. Like, everything you ever buy or get are from these five stores.

[Lily]

I don't like that as much, but

[Andrew]

I like that one better.

[Josh]

That's bigger stakes.

[Andrew]

Yeah.

[Josh]

Because you could just drive another street and go to another store.

[Andrew]

Yeah.

[Lily]

Yeah. But then you have this in walking distance. And then you never really have to leave your private island in the Bahamas.

[Josh]

So basically, it's exactly what I said.

[Lily]

But you could leave.

[Andrew]

Why?

[Lily]

But you don't have to.

[Andrew]

I like his better.

[Lily]

I'm gonna go first. I said Whole Foods because Trader Joe's is too limited. You shook your head. What is yours? Walmart.

[Josh]

Not a big fan of Whole Foods.

[Lily]

Whole Foods.

[Josh]

You still have to pay for it.

[Lily]

Yeah, but it's the best. Have you been to Whole Foods?

[Josh]

Yes, I've been to Whole Foods.

[Lily]

TJ Maxx, Hippo Pops.

[Josh]

That's a big gamble. You're. You're catching on. One of the five is just a popsicle place.

[Lily]

It brings me a lot of joy, Andy.

[Josh]

All right, all right.

[Lily]

The Goblin Market.

[Josh]

Okay.

[Lily]

Barnes and Noble.

[Josh]

Okay. So what do you like when you need stuff, like, around the house and stuff.

[Lily]

Whole foods.

[Josh]

Whole foods. Like, I mean, like, just like, decorations and stuff or, like, decor.

[Lily]

I can make it like. Okay, well, TJ Maxx has a ton of decor. Have you been to TJ Maxx?

[Josh]

Not recently, no.

[Andrew]

You've been on DJ Max. Have you ever been in there? Idiot.

[Lily]

And also, I'm not playing your game. This isn't like, my only. I'm not limited to this for the rest of my life, okay? It's just convenience.

[Josh]

All right. Okay. That changes the whole game then.

[Lily]

Go ahead.

[Josh]

I'm choosing a Bass pro.

[Andrew]

Yep.

[Josh]

A Bass pro. Yep.

[Paige]

Yes, sir.

[Lily]

You guys are such boys.

[Josh]

It's just outdoor living.

[Andrew]

It's just what it is, babe.

[Josh]

They've got food, they've got snacks. They got cookware, they've got clothing, they've got couches. Couch. They've got literally everything you need. Boats and live animals.

[Lily]

Oh, dang. I should have said Costco.

[Andrew]

Too bad.

[Josh]

Too bad, too late. Costco. Bass Pro. Costco, man. What else would I do? I'm thinking one food spot that I would have right there. It would probably be like, oh, H. Mart. Oh, H. Mart.

[Lily]

Oh, good choice.

[Josh]

Because you get food and then you get groceries. Oh, my gosh.

[Andrew]

You already got a Costco. You're double.

[Lily]

You got, like, a ton of groceries.

[Josh]

Yeah. And so now I can have fun. Then a Chuck E. Cheese. Because I could play arcade games and then.

[Lily]

Wait, you're serious?

[Josh]

Yeah, why not?

[Andrew]

Why not? Dave and Busters.

[Lily]

Yeah, like a grown up.

[Josh]

Grown up Dave and Busters. I don't know why I was feeling nostalgic. I would do Dave and Buster's. That would be so much fun. And then the last one, I don't know. That would be. I've got food covered. I need. Could you do a movie theater?

[Lily]

Yeah, I see.

[Josh]

Oh, yeah. At imax.

[Paige]

Yeah.

[Josh]

An Imax. Thanks, Lil.

[Lily]

You're welcome.

[Andrew]

Mine's pretty similar to yours.

[Josh]

Yeah.

[Andrew]

Home Depot.

[Josh]

Yeah.

[Andrew]

Costco movie theater, I think. Bass Pro.

[Josh]

Bass Pro.

[Paige]

It has to be on the list.

[Lily]

And then think of a good restaurant.

[Josh]

Yeah. Like, what would be fun? Hibachi Grill.

[Paige]

So are these, like, restaurants that you have to. You still have to, like, pay for everything?

[Lily]

Yeah.

[Paige]

This isn't so. This is just.

[Andrew]

Honestly, just the taco truck.

[Lily]

Tacos. Choppas.

[Andrew]

Yeah.

[Josh]

Very good.

[Lily]

Did you guys see I posted on Tavarius? Word of mouth, trying to find out about tacos.

[Andrew]

They're gone.

[Josh]

Yeah. What happened to them? What if they. What if they never existed?

[Lily]

Someone told Me, I. I brought it up later, and someone told me it's because Big Dog Saloon is trying to become hip and trendy dumb.

[Andrew]

You ruin it by removing the best taco stand in central Florida.

[Lily]

But also lean into the dive bar gimmick. No one's going there for $20 cocktails. Big Dog Saloon do better.

[Andrew]

Okay.

[Josh]

And also, also, also go to go, like, work with them. If you order from tacos, then guess what? You get a discounted Big Dog. Say vice versa. You know, why not?

[Lily]

And I don't even know if that's true.

[Josh]

Down with Big Dog. All right. What would you do?

[Paige]

Andrew Kahuku Soup rat on the North Shore of Hawaii for Poke? Yeah. No, that place.

[Josh]

Three out of five stars for me.

[Paige]

Because I'm thinking, where can I get, like, stuff that, like, food that I just think about all the time? I can't go to Hawaii and get that. If that could be close. They ran out of a particular flavor that I wanted, and I was like, oh, you guys are out. And said, hold on. And literally pulled a fish out the back and I watched a dude just cut it up. The eyes weren't even, like, glossed over. Like, that thing came straight off the water.

[Lily]

Yummy.

[Paige]

So shout out them. Funko Poke would be sick because I eat there a lot.

[Lily]

Two Funko, two Poke restaurants.

[Andrew]

Yeah.

[Paige]

Super. It's got, like, everything. They got, like, a ton of Asian food.

[Lily]

Okay.

[Paige]

A Bass Pro. I mean, a Walmart. Just because I'm sure I'm not thinking of something and Walmart probably has it.

[Lily]

Not Target.

[Paige]

No.

[Josh]

And then Walmart over Target, everything.

[Paige]

Yeah.

[Andrew]

I don't know.

[Paige]

I really.

[Josh]

I don't go anywhere.

[Paige]

That's it.

[Lily]

Are you serious?

[Josh]

Pick one more hardware store somewhere fun.

[Paige]

A hardware store, I guess.

[Lily]

What do you do for fun?

[Paige]

I mean, everything from. I guess I could pick like a.

[Josh]

Do a Cabela's Anabas, bro.

[Paige]

Yeah. I mean, like, literally all my stuff. A guitar store, I guess like a guitar center.

[Lily]

Think it's something for Paige?

[Paige]

No.

[Andrew]

No history. She got her own street.

[Paige]

I'm Asian, so I got that covered.

[Andrew]

Yeah.

[Josh]

Could you imagine having, like, ultimate, like, unlimited. You get a pick and you just like, that's. You get to spend as much money as you want at any place, and it's free.

[Andrew]

Mine would be Home Depot.

[Josh]

Like Costco and Home Depot and Bass Pro. Made for Life. Made for Life, dude.

[Andrew]

I like, would literally imagine that as a kid, like, walking in Home Depot. I'm like, if they just said, for one day, you can take as much as you want and be like this.

[Paige]

That would be so cool.

[Lily]

In Home Depot as a kid, you said that.

[Andrew]

Yeah, man.

[Lily]

What were you making when you were a kid?

[Paige]

Forts. I made ramps.

[Andrew]

Ramps? I made half pipes.

[Lily]

Wow.

[Paige]

Did you. Do you guys follow pawtech on Instagram? No, dude, he built a dirt jump track. Like, he runs dirt bikes. But now he's doing, like, BMX at the house. Like, that's freaking sick. That's cool.

[Josh]

When we walk through Home Depot, when we were kids, me and my brothers and sisters, we would always go because they would always walk every aisle. So we just follow our parents. And then we'd always pick one of one thing for, like, if we're building our house, you can only pick one washer and dryer, one light one everything. You just.

[Paige]

You, like.

[Josh]

You have to, like, look at all of them and just pick one. That was so fun. I don't know why that was so fun as a kid.

[Andrew]

I don't know. But just focus on that good memory. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Josh]

Start crying.

[Andrew]

Here's what that song beat.

[Josh]

Oh, and he's back.

[Andrew]

Andrew's got a real. And he's gonna show up right now.

[Josh]

Let's go.

[Paige]

What?

[Andrew]

Edgy's got a riff right now.

[Josh]

Right now.

[Lily]

I ate this.

[Andrew]

I think it's so funny.

[Josh]

That's little Josh.

[Andrew]

It's little Mega.

[Josh]

You have a little boy. It looks just like Josh.

[Lily]

It's confusing my brain so much.

[Paige]

Keep your phones down.

[Josh]

Phone down.

[Paige]

All right, are you ready? You have to watch at least 30

[Josh]

seconds of this watching your on your phone.

[Paige]

No, no, no. I'm gonna. But as soon as you see it, you'll know, so. Three, two, one.

[Josh]

Oh.

[Paige]

Okay. This was. I didn't trim it up. This was sent to me, and I just don't, like. I don't know how this exists, how it gets this bad.

[Josh]

Is that a human foot?

[Andrew]

Yeah.

[Josh]

Oh, my goodness. What kind of just disease or disorder is this?

[Paige]

This.

[Josh]

Dude, that's the lesy, bro.

[Andrew]

Why you have this?

[Lily]

Is that like diabetes or something?

[Paige]

I don't know.

[Lily]

What are you laughing about? I'm serious.

[Josh]

Oh, that's rough.

[Paige]

Okay.

[Josh]

Holy moly.

[Paige]

Yeah, I'm good.

[Josh]

Poor guy.

[Andrew]

I think it was a lady.

[Josh]

How do you know? You that good at feet? Yeah, that's a lady's foot.

[Paige]

That's a lady's foot.

[Andrew]

I've ever seen one.

[Paige]

I didn't have a reel.

[Andrew]

That was awful.

[Paige]

Yep.

[Andrew]

That gets a negative 5 out of 10. That is. That's somehow gonna make its way into my dreams tonight.

[Lily]

I know. Yeah.

[Paige]

Well, what made me think about it was you wearing slippery lotion socks. Oh my gosh, I hated that.

[Josh]

Tell people I don't know what you're talking about.

[Andrew]

It was on the pod. Yeah.

[Josh]

Was it?

[Andrew]

Okay, yeah. Speaking of slippery lotion socks, The most mysterious whale.

[Lily]

Yes, yes.

[Andrew]

Never discovered.

[Josh]

Yes.

[Andrew]

Also called the loneliest whale.

[Josh]

Oh,

[Andrew]

this whale, what they presume is a whale because they actually don't know. And that's the caveat.

[Josh]

All right.

[Andrew]

It's called the 52 Hz whale. It's one of the most fascinating and mysterious in marine biology. It's called the loneliest whale in the world. But so the deal is blue whales, typically their hertz that they produce when they're doing their singing and stuff is anywhere between 10 and 39 Hertz. Fin whales, which also do the whole singing and all that stuff, go up to 20 hertz. This whale is at 52 hertz. And they've never been able to get a visual of it, but they've been listening to it since when? Dude, I'm so mad I didn't write down the date. It was like in the 80s or 90s.

[Josh]

Okay.

[Andrew]

Maybe even the 70s. It was like they were doing military work in the ocean, doing like sonar scanning the ocean floor and stuff. Like, stuff like that. And they picked up on what sounded like a whale, but registering at 52 hertz. And at 52 hertz nothing can hear it.

[Josh]

Yeah.

[Andrew]

So nothing can respond to it either. And so they're like, what is this thing? And so they assume that maybe it's a hybrid whale. Maybe a mix between a blue whale and a fin whale, which they apparently can interbreed, which is fascinating.

[Josh]

Yeah, that'd be crazy.

[Andrew]

Make new whales deformity. Or a mutation of a whale that's like its vocal cords are messed up. Or a juvenile or unknown species of whale that they've just never been able to pinpoint.

[Josh]

Yeah.

[Andrew]

But what's crazy is that they've tracked it for decades in the Pacific and they've never been able to find it. But the migration patterns follow the whale's migration patterns.

[Paige]

Oh, that's cool.

[Andrew]

Yeah. But yeah, there's no proof of it except for the 52Hz audio that they've recorded from the ocean. And it's just like deep dark ocean where they're just getting this very high pitched whale noise.

[Josh]

Yeah.

[Andrew]

So what is it?

[Josh]

We'll never know.

[Andrew]

I don't know.

[Josh]

Oh, whale.

[Andrew]

What if it's like an alien ship though, or a Megalodon or A Megalodon.

[Lily]

Or the Leviathan.

[Andrew]

Or the Leviathan.

[Josh]

Could be anything, dude.

[Andrew]

We'll never know.

[Josh]

You know what with that information. Let's go to the moon. That's the thing.

[Paige]

Yeah.

[Andrew]

For real.

[Josh]

Like, we don't know what that is, but yet we're like, nah, let's go to the moon.

[Paige]

Sorry.

[Andrew]

Let's go to the moon for the 50th time.

[Josh]

Let's not even go into the moon. Let's go around it. Let's just go around it.

[Andrew]

Let's just go around and come back home.

[Paige]

If they're just trying to get pressed, though, for real, the moon is such a weird, like, buzzy topic. Imagine if they were like, I think we can actually get a photo of a Megalodon. Like, I think there's one that big out there. Be everywhere. Like, if you're trying to get press, just find a really big shark.

[Andrew]

There's just something. But it's also weird how NASA started. It was kind of like part of it was ocean exploration.

[Josh]

Yeah.

[Andrew]

And it's kind of. They've kind of stopped doing that because

[Josh]

they say there's nothing like. We figure we know there's really nothing. Like, it's the same stuff over and over. We don't know.

[Andrew]

We don't know that.

[Josh]

We don't know.

[Andrew]

This is what they're saying. Yeah. It's weird.

[Paige]

Or did they know that AI was popping out and they're like, the footage we get down there so bad, we don't know if it'll actually be passable. Is true, true, true. Because I saw a video, supposedly real, of a squid that they found, and that thing like, oh, yeah, shifted, And I was like. I was like, I genuinely can't tell. It would have been a real. But I was like, high chance this is AI, But I have no way of knowing.

[Andrew]

Yeah. It's weird stuff, man. I was watching the Danny Jones podcast with Bart and the Apollo astronaut. I forget his name, but I was just telling. I was talking to Lily, like, the Apollo astronaut. I've only. I'm only like an hour into it or something.

[Paige]

Right.

[Andrew]

But I'm like, if you went to the moon, wouldn't you be like, I remember every detail about it because you're walking on the moon.

[Lily]

I disagreed with Josh on his.

[Andrew]

And she disagreed.

[Josh]

I'm trying to go, biggest moment of your life.

[Paige]

But I'm also trying to go back 60 years ago.

[Josh]

You don't journal about it 60 years ago.

[Lily]

Andy, what did you have for breakfast yesterday?

[Andrew]

Don't question me about Food. He knows exactly what he eats every single day.

[Josh]

I didn't eat.

[Paige]

No, but, like, if. I can see both arguments. Like, if some. If the thing you encountered was like, oh, my gosh, this is crazy, you'd remember it. Like, specific details would be like. Like locked in there. Like, I remember Paige's face walking down the aisle to me. I remember her smile specifically. She had like a giddy, exciting moment. I'm like, that's locked. But I can't tell you what anyone down the. Down the sides of the aisles look like.

[Andrew]

Yeah.

[Paige]

So I hold a detail, but I don't remember the environment. I was.

[Josh]

But you went to the moon.

[Andrew]

You went to the moon.

[Josh]

You walked on the moon. You're comparing it to breakfast.

[Lily]

Who knows? This guy could be, like, senile or something.

[Andrew]

That's very rude. He's an Apollo astronaut. You should take that back.

[Josh]

But you're telling me you don't. You haven't had a million interviews about this one specific thing you're at least recalling, and you're. You're talking about it constantly.

[Lily]

It's rude for me to suggest that he might have forgotten about it, but it's not rude for you guys to suggest that he's a liar.

[Josh]

Yeah.

[Andrew]

Yes. He did say one thing, though, that I'm just like, that's wild. I've never heard this before. He's saying when we got on the capsule to take off from the moon. Also before that, he's like, yeah, when we landed, we had to unload the car and let's look. I'm like, what do you mean? Like, how? Because I know that they drove around on the moon, but again, that doesn't make sense to me. And I guess Bart is going to tell us all about this, but like a battery in the 60s in the most extreme coldness and heat environments. He said the first drive was a mile, and then the second drive was over eight miles there and back. I'm like, that just. This just seems crazy. But he's saying when he took off from this capsule, he's like, yeah, we had to dump our bags and then dump our trash out of the capsule. Dangerous. Like, so you left trash on the moon?

[Josh]

He's like, yeah, hey, give a hoot, don't pollute.

[Andrew]

I'm like, come on, man. Yeah, we just. We gotta go places and just litter.

[Paige]

I mean, this is the era where they were blowing up islands in the Pacific just to have fun. Making sure.

[Andrew]

Bombs and the atmosphere, too.

[Paige]

Oh, yeah.

[Andrew]

Like shooting nuclear in the sky.

[Josh]

And we had energy Cars back then. We know we did. So it's like, who knows what? Like, kind of technology that they had, you know, back.

[Paige]

The car thing doesn't trip me out because batteries have been batteries for a long time.

[Andrew]

Like, extreme environments, though. We're talking, like, 200 degrees Fahrenheit in the sun in, like, negative whatever, 100 degrees in the shade.

[Paige]

I'm just being like. I'm playing devil's advocate now. But if they were able to insulate it enough, you got to remember that, like, gravity is nothing. So it's not like actually moving a car. Like, it didn't take nearly the energy to move it along 1 6.

[Andrew]

Gravity.

[Paige]

But is that really what it is? I don't know.

[Josh]

But packing that into the ship, pulling it down, bringing it back up, it's. Why, that's crazy. I mean, that's a ballsy move if you're doing that. Like, that's. That's a really crazy thing to do.

[Andrew]

That's a crazy move.

[Josh]

Yeah.

[Andrew]

Also a crazy thing that I never even thought about. Dan Jones asked him. He's like, could you see the Earth from the moon? He's like, yeah. He's like, but it was over our. It was above our heads.

[Lily]

What? No, it's not.

[Andrew]

Wherever. He was on the moon.

[Josh]

Are you calling him a liar?

[Andrew]

So, like, if you're looking at the moon. Right. He was like, if this is Earth, he Apparently. He was like, right there.

[Lily]

No.

[Andrew]

So you're. He said you could. You'd have to, like, hold on to the craft and lean back to see them. The Earth.

[Josh]

That's crazy.

[Andrew]

I'm like, that trips. Somehow that, like, freaks me out more.

[Lily]

It's not true.

[Andrew]

What do you mean, it's not true?

[Josh]

That's like, us standing and looking up at the moon.

[Andrew]

If the moon was up above us, we would have to look up at the moon. It's the same concept. If they're on the moon looking at the Earth.

[Josh]

Yeah.

[Lily]

Why would they? But where the moon sits, you should not have to. You should look down, look at the Earth.

[Josh]

Depends on what part of the moon you're on. If the moon's above us, you're looking up at the moon, and it's vice. If you went straight up and went to the moon, you'd be looking down.

[Lily]

Correct. You said, he looked up.

[Josh]

Well, that's what I mean. You're flipping your body upside down. You have to flip, and you'd be. Yes.

[Lily]

No.

[Andrew]

Yes.

[Lily]

So wait, they landed on the moon.

[Andrew]

Well, it was just like. Imagine like, heaven where you're just, like, standing on the edge looking down at Earth.

[Lily]

Don't laugh at me. You didn't think of this either.

[Andrew]

I know, but. No, but it's just a crazy concept to be, like, looking up at the Earth.

[Lily]

I don't think that he remembers that problem.

[Josh]

So you're saying you're on our side now?

[Lily]

That you might be lying, looking up at the Earth?

[Andrew]

I don't think that's.

[Lily]

Have I ever.

[Josh]

You're looking up at the moon.

[Lily]

I'm looking at the moon because the moon is above me.

[Josh]

Okay, okay, listen, listen, listen, listen. So you're. You're standing up, the moon's above you. If I took you on Earth, flipped you upside down and shot you to the moon, your feet would land first on the moon, Right?

[Lily]

Yeah.

[Josh]

And so guess what I see.

[Paige]

Yeah.

[Andrew]

Whoa.

[Lily]

Not up like this. Like this.

[Andrew]

No, it would be up just like

[Josh]

you're sitting up there looking at the moon.

[Andrew]

Invert it.

[Josh]

What are you talking about? Nothing changes. This is the opposite.

[Lily]

Oh, my word. That's gonna trip me up for a while.

[Andrew]

Yeah,

[Josh]

it would literally. Look, this is the Earth you're standing. This is the moon. Circular you'd be standing, and your head would be down here looking that way. Mountain. This segment is brought to you by Dying Mountain.

[Andrew]

So, yeah, that's.

[Paige]

That's all I got about.

[Josh]

So funny.

[Lily]

That's crazy.

[Josh]

And the water. I got a story about the water. Oh, very creepy story about the water.

[Lily]

This is a very aquatic episode.

[Josh]

Yes. Okay, so imagine you're in the Arctic, okay? Freezing cold, icy.

[Andrew]

What type of people live in the Arctic?

[Josh]

Easy.

[Lily]

Inuit.

[Andrew]

Good.

[Josh]

This is an Inuit story, okay? So imagine scary Inuit. Arctic. Canada, Greenland. You're in the Arctic. It's freezing cold, right? You live in a village, an Inuit village. And there's this little boy who has a dog that. That dog goes in with him. Everywhere he goes, that dog goes with him. I don't know where that came from, that dog. Can I bet that dog. This dog goes everywhere with this little boy, right? They go on adventures. They walk around, but the parents are always very clear. The people in the village are always very clear. Do not go on the thin ice. Do not go to the edge of the water, right? It's very simple. You don't want to fall in. You don't want to drown. This little boy is out on an adventure with his dog, and they're walking around, and suddenly he hears a tap.

[Lily]

Oh, gosh.

[Josh]

And he's looking around, and there's no one around. It's just him and his dog. And the dog's, you know, all excited, and he keeps walking, and he hears another tap. And so he decides to start following this tapping noise, trying to figure out where it's from, because it's. He knows what the sound of ice breaking is. He knows the wind. The sound of the wind. It's very weird, the sound he's hearing. And he keeps following this sound of this tap, and it's coming up toward the edge of the water. The boy gets closer and closer, and the tapping gets louder and louder. It sounds like someone is tapping from underneath the ice. And so he gets to the edge of the water because he thinks there might be somebody under there. So he looks over, and then suddenly a long, scaly, slimy hand grabs his ankle, pulls him into the water. The dog starts panicking, barking like crazy, trying to grab at him. He tries to grab at the dog. The kid goes underwater. The dog runs back to the village, starts barking like crazy. They realize the kid's not with him. They're always together. This doesn't happen. So they follow this dog. The dog's barking up a whole storm, going absolutely nuts. And he takes them to the edge of the water, and he's literally looking at the water, barking, looking at them, looking at the water, barking louder and louder and louder. And they realize that this may have been a visit from what they call the Qalupalik, which is a humanoid aquatic creature that has been passed down through hundreds and hundreds of years in the Inuit and indigenous culture all over Greenland, Arctic Canada. I don't know how you pronounce it, but none of it. Yeah, none of it. All throughout this culture. And it's been passed down through generations and generations. And it is this. Kalupik. Kalu Palik.

[Andrew]

Kaluparak.

[Josh]

Yes. Kalupalak. I gotta. I can't even.

[Andrew]

Kalupalak.

[Josh]

Kalupalak. It lives under the ice.

[Lily]

You've never seen that word in your life, Josh? Guessing.

[Josh]

No. He's nailing it. Kalupalik. Yeah.

[Andrew]

Why don't you back off?

[Lily]

Say something nice.

[Andrew]

No, because you're being mean.

[Lily]

All right.

[Josh]

This creature lives under the ice, near shorelines, in dark, shallow coastal waters. It is known by everyone, and they always thought it was one of those things where parents make it up, you know, to scare children, to get them away from the shoreline. But over and over and over again, tribes that had nothing to do with each other, villages who had no connection whatsoever, never talked to one another, people would come and they'd find this. There's an explorer from the UK that apparently, like it, talked about a mermaid type of creature, one of the siren type of creatures. But the more he described it, it sounded more and more and more like this creature. This creature has green grayish skin, wet, slicky, long tangled hair, long fingers, slash claws. I'm going to send you pictures once again, like, Josh, this is pictures.

[Andrew]

Oh, you say something nice.

[Josh]

These are pictures that have been drawn by people who have either seen it or grew up in villages. This creature, the Kalumpulik, has even one of those parkas with the hoods where they would carry their babies in. And so the legend has it is that it was a cursed person who sacrificed one of her kids and got pulled underwater and now has to live eternally.

[Lily]

Oh, gosh.

[Josh]

Under the sea, Ariel. But. Oh, dang it. Let me see. I'm gonna try to.

[Andrew]

That is.

[Josh]

So there's another image that someone. It looks like a photo, but I don't know if it's been doctored or something.

[Paige]

But it looks grudgy.

[Josh]

Very grudgy. Right. Seer. Oh, dang. Did I not get it?

[Andrew]

Is it grudge or grunge?

[Josh]

Grudge.

[Paige]

Talking about the movie.

[Andrew]

Yeah, yeah.

[Josh]

Grudge.

[Andrew]

The grudge.

[Lily]

Yeah, like she has a grudge.

[Andrew]

I got it. I just didn't know if it was grudge or grunge. What's your deal?

[Lily]

That's, like, the point of the movie. She has a grudge.

[Josh]

Oh, dang it. I forgot. It's in my. It's on my computer. But it's a very rare, creepy picture. But this thing, literally, apparently it's known as the monster below who never blinks because it's constantly watching and it only preys on little children. This is a very scary story for little children. So I'm sorry, but. But it's one of those things. And apparently it feeds off their youth, so she can never age. And so while you're getting older, she's getting younger. Hollow, glowing eyes that never blink. Sometimes described as decaying or unnatural looking. Always stays under the water. Observing children near the edge, children alone, or kids wandering too close and apparently can even have, like, this, like, weird. Like if you hear a weird hum, like, ethereal hum. That's very mermaid, like, very sireny, right? Yeah, it's very, very strange. But apparently just calls out names, creates curiosity. It's like almost in the wind, you know? But that's the weird thing about this creature because it's not, like, around you, like the Leshy or the Bigfoot. In the woods. It's not above you like UFOs or aliens. It's something below just lurking, which is something that's like, when you're out there literally on thick, you know, feet and feet of ice, there's something below you.

[Andrew]

Yeah.

[Josh]

I mean, people who are afraid of water. It's like, this is the worst story. Like, this is the worst creature you could think of. So there's some traditions that say that it either raises them, eats them, or keeps them alive. And there's a story that goes back to the last part of keeping them, because this is a big, big time legend where a grandmother had her grandson. They lived by themselves in a village, and they could not hunt. It was very, very bad winter. And so they were starving. And so she prayed, and the answer that she got from doing whatever was basically sacrificing her grandson so that they could clarify. Not praying to God, no, Whatever she had. And so she goes and takes her grandson. The. The preacher takes her, takes him. And then when nothing ever happened, no food was ever given. But when the hunters could actually go and start hunting, a couple in that village heard about this and said, we have to do something. And so there were people that were able to look and see. And apparently the kid was tied up against some type of structure down there. And being. It was like, preserved. Right. It's so cold. You don't know like it, but they're like, we just at least have to get this body back. And so they waited and waited, and apparently they saw her swimming around, and it's very, very creepy. And then they waited till sunrise. Somebody dove in with a knife, cut him loose, brought him back up, and a day later, he's alive.

[Andrew]

What?

[Josh]

Yeah. Crazy. Absolutely wild. But there's been children's books written about this. There's been, like, old. Old, you know, poems and stuff and like, just history things. And one of the things that was written, very scary. Human child. Human child. Ours to have, ours to hold. Forget your mother, forget your brother. Ours to hold under the ice forever.

[Lily]

Oh, my gosh.

[Josh]

That was a children's book.

[Lily]

Well, can I tell you something?

[Josh]

Is that not crazy?

[Lily]

I read the book Hunt Gather Parent, and she visits all these different communities to see how they parent their children. And she visits an Inuit family and lives with them for like a week with her daughter. And one of the things they say to keep their children in order is that they tell them scary stories so that they won't go near the water. And I wonder if this is that, like, they fabricated a Scary story so that their kids would not. Because you think. And she was like, so what you should do. And that's when I started telling Jane that if she didn't. If I didn't wash her hair, that spiders would grow in her hair.

[Josh]

Yeah.

[Lily]

I don't know if child psychologists back up that idea that you should tell your kids scary stories to get them to obey, but it does work, and they've been doing it for centuries.

[Andrew]

Yeah, it's true.

[Josh]

This very much could be it. But there's been. There's been polar bears that have been found tore up near edges of water, like, not even eaten or anything, but literally just attacked their heads. Just almost ripped off laying down in the water.

[Lily]

Oh, my God.

[Josh]

It's like, what animal is doing that to a polar bear?

[Lily]

Oh, my gosh.

[Josh]

Right?

[Andrew]

They're polar bear. But possibly. I don't know.

[Josh]

But that's the thing. That's what makes this really scary, is that this thing isn't like a monster or creature that's out waiting for you. Or I mean, like. No, like. Like chasing you down. This thing is waiting for you.

[Lily]

Yeah.

[Josh]

And that's.

[Lily]

That's.

[Josh]

That's what really kind of stuck out to me on this one. It's like, that's scary.

[Andrew]

Don't you think there's some validity to. There has to be. To sea monsters?

[Lily]

Oh, yeah.

[Andrew]

Just like all these early explorers, like, for hundreds and hundreds of years, they always drew on their maps and talked about these sea creatures and like. Like certain parts of the world that you shouldn't go to because this creature existed. And how every sailor talked about mermaids and, like, them singing and dragging you in and it's like, there has to be something to that.

[Josh]

Yeah. I mean, there's gotta be. I mean, we're discovering new, newer and newer species each year.

[Andrew]

Yeah.

[Josh]

Like, we. There's no way we know about everything, especially being covered in 80, 75% water in this whole planet. Like, there's so much. And there's. There's different ecosystems and there's depths we've never even traveled to. There's a lot. Man.

[Andrew]

Creepy.

[Josh]

Very scary.

[Paige]

There's apparently a short horror film based on the character.

[Josh]

Oh, really?

[Paige]

Look at the photo I sent. Just. You can watch that and tell us how that is.

[Josh]

I'm really sad that I didn't. Yeah, that's. That's literally the type of picture.

[Andrew]

Ew.

[Paige]

Gosh. I thought a lot of that.

[Josh]

I'm bummed I didn't get that picture down.

[Lily]

What does he say?

[Josh]

It's the. Yeah, it's what I. What we were saying. It's the. I can't. Kalu Palik. Kalu Palik. But there's a lot of podcasts and youtubers and Reddit threads that just talk about this thing, and it's like, I don't know, man. It does seem just like a scary, spooky story you tell your kids to pay attention, you know?

[Andrew]

Yeah.

[Josh]

Be careful. Mind your own parents. But.

[Lily]

But I wonder too, if it was like their parents told them that story and their parents before them, and eventually it turned into like a. Oh, they were just saying this to scare me. But at one point, maybe it was real.

[Andrew]

Yeah.

[Josh]

Oh, yeah.

[Andrew]

Passed down.

[Lily]

Yeah.

[Paige]

I mean, that's kind of like, you think about kids who have left the faith after generations of, like, families going to church, and they're like, yeah, my parents believe that stuff, but, yeah, you know, I'm an atheist.

[Josh]

And then they get into car wreck or get into drugs, and then something really supernatural happens, and they're like, yeah, I believe in Jesus now. You know, like, that's crazy.

[Lily]

And then this kid has been told his whole life, don't go near the water. And they're like, my parents are being silly. And then they're forever trapped under the ice with this sea witch.

[Josh]

Yep. So, kids, if you're listening, mind your

[Andrew]

parents speaking of something spiritual.

[Josh]

Ooh.

[Andrew]

So I've been obviously, you know, doing the whole desert Fathers.

[Josh]

Yes.

[Andrew]

Studying lives of different saints. I mean, it's endless with how many cool stories there are and very inspiring stories, but this one is about Anthony the Great of Egypt.

[Josh]

Okay.

[Andrew]

And he is called the father of monasticism.

[Josh]

Okay.

[Andrew]

So he was like one of the first desert fathers. His, like, when he was in the desert was like 270ad ish.

[Josh]

What a wild world.

[Andrew]

Yeah.

[Lily]

Crazy.

[Andrew]

But, like, he grew up in, like, a Christian household in Egypt, and his parents died when he was like, 20, and he had a younger sister. His parents left him this vast amount of wealth, property, all this stuff. And it was like a couple Sundays after his parents died, he went into church and they were reading out of the Gospels and it said, if you want to follow me, sell all your possessions and give to the poor and follow me. And so he's like, I'm going to do that. And so what he did, he sold all his possessions, which in this whole story, I'm like, well, what about the sister? What happened to the sister? I'm not really sure. It was a different time. But he's like, I'm Just gonna go live as a monk, a hermit.

[Paige]

She was a possession.

[Andrew]

No. I don't know. But he went and what he did, this is so crazy. But he found an empty tomb, like a vacant tomb, like, where they would bury someone that died. And he said basically someone followed him out there. He's like, I'm just gonna live in here, and if you could just bring me bread every now and then, that's it. And he lived in this tomb in just complete silence, darkness. And the stories that he tells and that people tell around Anthony Great are insane. Where he, at one point, he literally battled the devil himself. And so this is what's so crazy about all these desert fathers. It was such a norm, living in the deserts and, like, especially Egypt, constantly battling demons. Like these demons, like, literally beating you up. And which even to that today, it's like we talked to. Was it no longer nomads.

[Josh]

Yeah.

[Andrew]

Where they talked about Egypt and just the weird spookiness that is around Egypt. And like, the genes. What are they called? The genes. The genies. Yeah.

[Lily]

Yeah. Oh, my gosh. I had goose things thinks about it.

[Andrew]

Yeah, goosebumps. But we talk about it in that podcast. So they do about, like, encounters with, like, the demonic and stuff in Egypt. So there's something with Egypt where it's like just prevalent there.

[Paige]

Moses fought him.

[Andrew]

Yeah. And so this one story, these demons just start tormenting him in this tomb, this cave, and they literally beat him up so bad to where he almost died. And the guy that brought him bread saw him bloodied, almost dead. Thought he was dead.

[Josh]

Yeah.

[Andrew]

Dragged him back to the church, and they're like, oh, gosh, he's. He's gone. He's dead. And then he was able to get enough strength and told the guys, like, take me back to the tomb. I don't want these people to know that the devil did this to me.

[Josh]

Oh, yeah.

[Andrew]

And so they brought him back, he recovered, and then again, they started attacking him more and more. And at this point, he had just been praying and praying. And this is such a cool quote that he said. He said, if you. Him talking to the demons, if you have any power, one of you would have been enough. But since the Lord has taken away your strength, you try to frighten me by appearing in numbers. It is a sign of your helplessness and you have taken the shape of brutes. If you can. If you have received power over me, do not wait, but lay on me. If you cannot. Why are you chafing yourselves for nothing? For our trust in the Lord. Is like a seal to us and like a wall of safety. And as soon as he said that, the ceiling just opened up. The whole cave was shaking, and just a piercing light came in. All the demons fled, and it was God. And God spoke to him. And Anthony said, where were you? Why didn't you appear at the beginning to stop this pain? And God said, I was here, Anthony, by a way, to see you struggle. And now, because you have endured and not have been defeated and have not been defeated, I will always be your helper, and I will make your name known everywhere. And so then that he was literally the father of monasticism. He inspired just thousands and thousands and thousands of monks.

[Josh]

That's amazing.

[Andrew]

Yeah.

[Josh]

And almost 2,000 years later, we're talking about him still in his story. How cool is that?

[Andrew]

But an interesting story that I like. A little thing I caught that's really not talked about a lot. It's talked about in his biography that's written by Athanasius, who was in, like, the 480s. He wrote a biography about Anthony the Great, but he talks about this super weird encounter that Anthony the Great had. So one of the first known monks that lived in the desert besides Anthony Great. It was actually before Anthony the Great, a little bit before, was Paul the Helper. And Anthony's like, I heard this man is this very holy man. I just want to go meet him. So he's traveling through the desert, and as he's traveling through the desert, he sees what he describes as something as part man, part horse.

[Lily]

Centaur.

[Andrew]

Like a centaur. It didn't attack him. It silently points him in the right direction and then disappears. And he's like, what? Made nothing of it. But as he's walking, there's this thing that runs up to him. And what he described it as is a satire or a satyr. Satyr. A satyr, which is basically like a beastman, like a half goat, half man. And this is just so wild to me, because it's. The encounter was super strange. But this beast, man, it said horned and goat like, rough, hairy body, not fully human in appearance. But this creature runs up to him and speaks. And what this creature said to Anthony the Great was, I am a mortal being, one of those who dwell in the desert. We ask that you pray for us, and then the thing just disappears. And that's all that is written about it.

[Josh]

Pardon, what?

[Lily]

Tell me again, what does that mean?

[Andrew]

But this thing says, I am a mortal being, one of those who dwell in the desert. We ask that you pray for us. And that's. That's all that's written about in this biography. It doesn't mention that he prayed for it. And it just kind of, like, brushed over, but very at this time, when people read this, it shocked nobody because they're like, yeah, of course there are creatures like this living in the desert.

[Josh]

Yeah.

[Andrew]

And, like, I just thought that was super, super wild of just like, yeah, man. It didn't attack them. It wasn't. It wasn't like, evil. It ran up to him, is like, can you pray for me?

[Josh]

Yeah.

[Andrew]

What does that mean?

[Lily]

What is that? What is what?

[Josh]

I mean, you think about, like, the possibility of the watchers, you know, like,

[Lily]

that's what I was thinking.

[Josh]

Yeah. Like, doing all types of nasty stuff with, you know, the earthly women and animals and making all types of different creations. It's like, they didn't choose that life. The offspring didn't. And so it makes you wonder, like, is their offspring doomed on earth as well as them to crawl and to be on this earth forever? And it's like, are you. Can you pray for me? Like, pray that God can see past people that came before me?

[Andrew]

We did talk about that one story of that saint who was like a dog man thing.

[Josh]

Yeah.

[Andrew]

Who? Do you remember his name?

[Lily]

No.

[Andrew]

But he would help people cross the river. Remember that? That's interesting.

[Josh]

It's very crazy, dude.

[Andrew]

It's super weird.

[Josh]

Golly. What would you do running up on, like, a freaking centaur in the desert.

[Lily]

Oh, my gosh. Crazy.

[Josh]

That'd be nuts.

[Lily]

I don't like the idea of Satan be able to beat me up, do I? I don't like the idea of Satan being able to beat me up, dude.

[Andrew]

It was so common. I mean, like, pretty much every saint story, especially, like, early church demons. Beat them up.

[Josh]

Yeah.

[Andrew]

Like, physically beat them up.

[Lily]

I mean, I guess it does say in Job where, like, God is like, just do not harm him.

[Andrew]

Do not kill.

[Lily]

I kill him.

[Andrew]

Yeah.

[Lily]

They have the ability to do that, which is scary.

[Paige]

Natural afflictions, though, in that narrative.

[Lily]

What do you mean?

[Paige]

Like, it's like he gets, like, leprosy type sores and it's like things that are known rather than, like, mysterious, unknown ailments.

[Andrew]

What did say that Satan also blew the wind and made his house crumble.

[Paige]

Yeah.

[Andrew]

So it's like, I don't know.

[Josh]

Yeah. Manifesting in a physical body.

[Andrew]

Yeah.

[Josh]

Crushing you, beating you up. Reminds me of Liar. Liar. When he beat himself up in the bathroom.

[Paige]

Yeah.

[Josh]

That's what everyone's like, did you do this to Yourself.

[Andrew]

Yeah, it's crazy, man. I like crazy. I've been loving, loving, studying these saints.

[Josh]

Yeah.

[Andrew]

It's just, it's super inspiring and like it's so cool how they would like they're, they're just their humility in it and like I think they would even be like disappointed at how much people talk about them. But it really is, it's so edifying of just like they just live this example of just full pursuit of Christ.

[Josh]

Yeah. And they'd probably be disappointed more in our reaction to it. It.

[Andrew]

Yeah.

[Josh]

Like if it's not questioning something, just move back there.

[Andrew]

The knife.

[Josh]

Very good. Devil's like, I'll attack you right now. But just like I think they'd be disappointed in our reaction to it and how it affects our faith or the lack of affecting our faith. Yeah, yeah. Like, I mean those guys had. I mean we have to ask ourselves like, how dangerous is our faith?

[Andrew]

Yeah.

[Josh]

To the enemy. Like is it really? It's like, oh, I don't have to worry about these guys.

[Andrew]

Probably like these guys are all right.

[Josh]

They're fine, they're fine. I'm not worried about it. They're not going to put in much work. But these dudes were like literally like every ounce of their being. Energy, time, blood, sweat and tears to the advancement of the gospel.

[Andrew]

Yeah.

[Josh]

The advancement of Jesus, especially at that time. And that's the thing. We get separated from Jesus time and it feels like we just water it down or it just feels less real, you know. I think we realized how real he was, how much it would affect our life. And I'm speaking to me personally, like that's like, like, yeah, it's tough, man. Like, I mean imagine like I'm just imagine like a Christian upbringing. 200 A.D. like that's crazy.

[Andrew]

It's still technically illegal because it was under like Diocletian and stuff. The Roman emperor who was like brutal towards Christianity.

[Josh]

Yeah. You think about the memorization of scripture they probably had within their households teaching their kids.

[Lily]

And it's like at that point it was all tradition. It was all orally passed down for the most part because the written manuscripts don't come till like 3:30 or something. Right.

[Andrew]

They could buy, you could buy some individual scriptures.

[Paige]

Letters are being written.

[Andrew]

Yeah.

[Paige]

A genuine question. I don't mean this. So to prove. I don't mean this in condescendent. John the Baptist went out to the desert to do his ministry. So this is. I'm going to ask a question that sounds offensive. I don't intend for it to be. But you know, he encounters the scriptures, sell everything you have, give to the poor and moves out to the middle of nowhere. The last thing Jesus said is go and tell, make disciples. What I'm missing something between like how is he going and telling and going into isolation where what do they say for like everyone removing themselves, like how did they push the gospel if going into complete isolation?

[Lily]

You mean like with monasticism?

[Paige]

Yeah, yeah. I've always wondered like, I've always genuinely wondered that.

[Andrew]

That's a good question. But I mean it's like we have all their stories now and like, and

[Josh]

we're telling them acts of faith and, and act like we think that God's only going to use our stories within our own timeline. Like we have to think like how God can. He's like, you may not understand what I'm doing right now, but it's like you will one day. And so one to a hundred monks compared to the billions of people that have lived on this earth. It's like I'm going to use your life in this way so they can affect this ripple, this ripple, this ripple later on and influence this person after another. And that's going to cause more ripple as well.

[Paige]

And so did people go to them though like John the Baptist was that they were known?

[Andrew]

Oh yeah.

[Paige]

Almost like going to a. Yeah.

[Andrew]

And like a lot of these monks too, these desert dwellers, some of them were just hermit. It's a very few that are just hermits to where it's like cut off and it's like I just want to spend my whole devotion of living a life of repentance just for the glory of God. Like I want to just break myself down to nothing. But a lot of these monks, they would go in, they would have church, they would do like into towns and do all kinds of stuff.

[Paige]

So like wasn't still servant hearted.

[Andrew]

Yeah.

[Josh]

And my thing is I always assume they doing this because they're very strong. A lot of these guys were probably pretty weak and that was the one of the only ways they could truly commit their life to Christ is saying I have to remove like there's, there's people who have theories of like, you know, like why certain people deal with lust or greed or whatever it may be. It's like you may never be out from underneath that and it may be

[Andrew]

there as you move to a cave in the desert.

[Josh]

Exactly. But it's like you may have that simply. So God's saying I need you to rely on me. I'm going to have you be reminded of this every single day because it is your flesh. And you're never going to. You have to die of your flesh, but you're going to be reminded every single day so that you can rely on me. And it's going to get less and less over time. But it's like.

[Andrew]

Well, there is a story just like that of this Saint. She was St. Mary of Alexandria, or Alex. Yeah, Alexandria, Right.

[Lily]

I can't remember.

[Andrew]

St. Mary of Egypt.

[Lily]

I think it's Egypt.

[Andrew]

Yeah. St. Mary of Egypt. And this one's a little PG 13. So if your kids are listening. But skip, skip. This lady Mary, she. I forget where she was. Oh, and Egypt.

[Josh]

No, I'll look it up. St. Mary.

[Andrew]

Yes, she was from Egypt.

[Lily]

There's a couple of St. Mary's St. Mary from Egypt.

[Andrew]

She was from Egypt. And she was a very promiscuous young lady. Like, in fact, some would say, like, addicted to fornication, but, like, from a very early age, like, some. I think the thing I saw was, like, 12 years old, and she, like, fled home.

[Lily]

It is Egypt.

[Josh]

Yeah.

[Andrew]

Okay. And she saw that they're doing, like, this procession of the cross in Egypt, that they're going to Jerusalem with this cross. Like, it was like a little pilgrimage. She's like, I want to do that. I just want to travel. Do that. And so she got onto the boat by telling the captain and the crew that, hey, I can do stuff. And they're like, okay, yeah, come on. Which is also kind of weird because they're doing a pilgrimage to Jerusalem. Whatever. She gets there, she's just fornication. All in the holy city of Jerusalem. She comes to the Church of the Holy Sepulcher, where the cross is going, doors open. She goes to walk in. Boom, boom. She cannot pass through the doorway. It's literally like a force field pushing her back. And she's like. She would run and hit it and just bounce right back. And she's like, what in the world? She falls down. She's super. Like, what is going on? She looks and she sees an icon of Mary and Jesus, and then instantly hears all of her sin, that it is true sin that is corrupting her body. And she says basically, like, I repent. I won't do this anymore. Please just let me go into this church. And then she's able to go in. And at that point, she devotes her whole life to just serving Christ. And then fast forward years. I'm going to totally butcher this story, because this is a couple weeks ago that I saw this but fast forward. This is like 40 years later. There was this priest that would do every year before Holy Week or during Holy Week, he would walk through the desert outside of Jerusalem just to, like, his own little sabbatical thing. I'm just. No noise, nothing. Just his little journey.

[Josh]

Yeah.

[Andrew]

And at first he sees this figure in the desert. This is 40 years after. And he's like, oh, my gosh, that's a demon. Because it just looked crazy. And he's like, I think he did the sign of the cross or something, and it was still just walking away. He's like, okay, that's not a demon. I don't know what that is. And he's like, oh, that seems to be a person. And so he started following this person. And he's like, yelling. I was like, hey, can I talk to you? He's like, surely this person, if they're wandering in the desert, they're probably a monk or something.

[Josh]

Yeah.

[Andrew]

And he's like, hey, can I talk to you? And he's falling for miles. And finally there's a river. He gets to the river. They're already on the other side of the river. He's like, hey, I beg you to turn around and give me your blessing. And it was a woman. And she says, father, I cannot turn around. You must throw me your cloak, for I am naked. And he's like, okay. Throws the cloak. She turns around, and it's a woman. It was Mary of Egypt.

[Josh]

Oh, wow.

[Andrew]

And he's like, how did. And it's just so many questions. And what was fascinating is this priest. He's like, she knew everything about him, his name, everything. And she just started like, he said that she was so wise in the Scriptures and the Gospels and stuff. It's like, this is fascinating. He's like, who taught you to read and write? She says, I don't know how to read or write. Said, I've lived in the desert for 40 years. Mary has taught me everything about Christ.

[Josh]

Holy moly.

[Andrew]

But she goes on, after the church experience, she went straight to the desert. And she said, For 17 years, I was battling with lust. And for 17 years I wanted to turn around and go back, but I just kept on getting pushed, like, continue, continue, continue. Until after 17 years, it finally broke. And so now my whole life is just dedicated to Christ and just in solitude because I never want to go back to that. And she's like, all I ask of you is that you don't come back out here for. Until next year. And please bring me Eucharist. The Holy Communion for I've never taken it.

[Josh]

Wow.

[Andrew]

And so she said, do not come back out and see me for that year. If you do, something bad is going to happen to you. He's like, okay. And so he goes, comes back after a year. She's there. She takes communion for the first time. It was so edifying her. It was just so. Oh, my gosh. Says, thank you. Please come back in one more year, same time next year. He said, okay. Goes a year later, comes back, finds her dead in the exact same spot, but in the ground written beside her, says basically the date of which she died and bury me here. And all it said was Mary. And she. He figured out that she died as soon as he left the year prior. But her body was completely uncorrupted. So she had been laying in that spot for a whole year after taking Communion. And he's like, okay, I'm going to bury her here. But the ground was just super hard and super rocky. And he's just like, I don't know. I can't dig a hole. And that while he's thinking that a lion walks up and he's like. And the lion walks up to Mary and licks her feet. And he says, surely the Lord has sent you. Can you help me dig this hole? And immediately, the lion digs the hole.

[Josh]

That's crazy.

[Andrew]

And he buries Mary.

[Josh]

What?

[Andrew]

Yeah.

[Josh]

That's wild.

[Andrew]

It's wild.

[Josh]

That's so fun. That's a fun story. Golly. Crazy, isn't it crazy? That's so nuts, man.

[Andrew]

So I think I'm going to just walk around the desert naked.

[Lily]

Yeah. I'm worried about you. Reading all these stories. You're going to, like. Like go into monasticism.

[Andrew]

No, I'm too scared.

[Josh]

One night in the cave. You're done.

[Andrew]

Yeah.

[Josh]

Anyways, that's crazy. That's. There's something about. I mean, I don't know that was. That's always been. You know, because there's such conflict with Christian, like, you know, like, just, you know, in Catholics and just, you know, I know Catholics are Christian, whatever. But it's just the whole, like, the whole image of Mary and stuff. But there is something significant about Mary, obviously, because one of the last things Jesus said was to take care of his mother.

[Andrew]

Yeah.

[Josh]

Like, there. He recognized something special about mothers. And so.

[Lily]

Yeah.

[Josh]

Happy, happy late Mother's Day.

[Andrew]

Yeah.

[Lily]

You should look into. There is a story, obviously, that we don't have in our canon, but the disciples recorded it, because the disciples were there for when Mary died. Jesus received her.

[Josh]

That's what. Yeah, we've talked about that. That's. Yeah, that's really. It's interesting.

[Lily]

The disciples that we trust with the gospel said that. So she is significant.

[Josh]

Oh, big time. There's definitely some significance about her. Like, there's. Yeah. I mean, there's.

[Andrew]

I mean, to be the mother of God.

[Josh]

Yeah.

[Andrew]

Of Christ.

[Josh]

Yeah.

[Andrew]

There has to be some significance to that.

[Josh]

I saw some quote recently, and it said, the whole world is just made up of mothers and their children.

[Lily]

Oh, gosh. I saw that, too. And I was like.

[Josh]

I was like, oh, that's awesome.

[Andrew]

Very true, very true. Speaking of mothers and their children, do you guys know we have an episode right after this? Patreon.com forward/ninjas. The butterflies. Or YouTube members. Yes, we're here for you, too.

[Josh]

But if you download the Patreon app, guess what you get? Behind the scenes content. We're leasing a John Mulaney interview that we did with him on his. Not really an interview, but we were on his show, like, very briefly, and it shows the behind the scenes of that night that's being released probably tomorrow, which is in the past. So it's already on there. Go check that out. You get discount codes on Swag Store. You get a personalized community on Discord. It's a blast. We have a ton of conversations on there, and you guys are gonna be helping us out with future content ideas in the future, so it's gonna be really good. We're talking about in the future. In the past, dude.

[Andrew]

Very cool stuff. Very cool stuff. And if you guys need any custom apparel, go to sundaycool.com start your order today.

[Josh]

Yes. Let us do your T shirts or your hats or your stickers or whatever it is.

[Andrew]

Let us do it. All right.

[Josh]

All right. We love you, Jason. Bye.

[Andrew]

Bye.

[Josh]

Butterflies.

[Andrew]

Did I say ninja?

[Josh]

I meant butterfly. The butterfly is no doubt one of God's most beautiful mind you.

[Lily]

Yeah.

[Josh]

Martial arts ninjas attack.