1828 - "No Agenda Christmas 2025"

Summary

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No Agenda Show — Episode 1828: "No Agenda Christmas 2025"

Hosts: Adam Curry & John C. Dvorak
Date: December 25, 2025

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Episode Overview

This special Christmas episode of No Agenda, co-hosted by Adam Curry and John C. Dvorak, serves as a festive, irreverent, and at times heartfelt look back at No Agenda Christmases past, current cultural issues, and the evolving "war on Christmas." Although it's technically a "Best Of" episode compiled by Sir Donald Winkler, Adam and John weave in fresh commentary, classic show moments, discussions about Christmas traditions, and the ever-present deconstruction of media narratives — all in their signature comedic, skeptical style.

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Key Themes & Discussions

1. Changing Christmas Greetings and "War on Christmas"

• Early banter covers the increasing use of "Happy Christmas," "Merry Holidays," and "Happy Holidays" instead of "Merry Christmas."
  • Adam: "What happened to Merry Christmas? ... Now they've combined the two." (00:27)
  • John: "All the liberals around here are saying Merry Holidays." (00:53)
• Cultural and political connotations behind greeting choices (“Merry Christmas” = “religious” = “Republican”).
• Comparison of presidential holiday messages and media coverage about “the war on Christmas.”
  • [51:08] — Clip discussion on the politicization of holiday greetings.

Memorable moment:
Adam: “Merry Christmas equals religion equals Republican.” (50:52)

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2. Podcasting During the Holidays

• Discussion of hosting a show on Christmas and balancing family obligations.

  • John: "Family friendly. Wiser not to have [the show]..." (01:38)
  • Adam jokes about being called a “douchebag” for working through Christmas as a parent. (01:42)

• Reflections on the production of a special "best of" show by Sir Donald Winkler and commentary on listener response timelines.

  • Adam: “You expect... it's like, hey, I said this on Thursday, you should be telling me on Thursday. It just doesn't work that way.” (01:52)

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3. Dynamic/Surveillance Pricing & Last-Minute Shopping

• Discussion about shifting Christmas celebrations to avoid crowds and take advantage of sales, and a critique on "surveillance pricing."
  • John: “...the algos are going to be looking at me ... they're going to overcharge me for everything that I buy now based on dynamic pricing.” (03:37)
  • Adam: “Wait a minute. It's not dynamic pricing. What was it called again?... surveillance pricing.” (03:52)
• Male bonding and camaraderie of last-minute Christmas Eve shoppers.
  • John: "It's mostly men...you're pals with these people without even knowing them..." (09:22)

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4. Media & Political Satire

• Vintage No Agenda Christmas show montages with sharp commentary on media coverage and political issues, such as royalty, TSA, and European holiday policies.
• Satirical takes on Queen’s Speech and a “Build A Bear” animated special’s environmental messaging:
  • Adam (on climate change Christmas special): "Oh, Mommy, Daddy, quick. You have to stop putting carbon in the air." (13:42)
• TSA Carolers and the performative humanization of authority:
  • John: "Reminds me of the Brown shirt chorus of 1938." (22:18)

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5. Personal & Family Anecdotes

• Traditions like Christmas Eve shopping, reading “The Night Before Christmas,” and unique stories from the hosts’ families.
  • Adam shares gifts he received (16:08) and traditions like Dutch Sinterklaas (36:09).

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6. Christmas in the Pandemic/COVID Era

• “Covid Christmas” and the politics/media of holiday restrictions and messaging:
  • Discussion of the abrupt "cancellation" of UK Christmas due to a COVID variant (63:06)
  • Satirical COVID-Christmas song (“It’s beginning to look like Covid Christmas…” 65:17)
  • Critiques of government announcements and leaders breaking their own rules.
  • Joking about Santa’s vaccination status (72:03)

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7. Holiday Cultural Shifts & Identity Politics

• Deconstruction of Christmas stories, “Santa’s Husband” children’s book (43:18), claims about the origins of "Jingle Bells," and “Festivus”/“Boxing Day” as emergent or alternative traditions.
• Satirical “Santa” ESG message (108:50):
  • Adam (as ESG Santa): "If you are naughty... we will just take your stocking und your other gifts. You will get nothing und be happy..."

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8. Classic No Agenda Clips & Show Humor

• Parody songs, coronavirus ditties, and alternative “12 Days of Christmas.”
• Jokes about Christmas gifts, cussing on air, and “men’s club” of late shoppers.

Notable Quote: John: "I'm going to stop cussing except once a show. And it's going to be so on point...everyone's gonna go, wow, that was a big moment." (57:25)

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Notable Segments & Timestamps

Opening Christmas Banter & Changing Greetings

• [00:27] – Discussion about “Happy Christmas,” “Merry Holidays.”
• [01:09] – Reflection on not recording live on Christmas for the first time.

Packaging & Listener Contributions

• [01:52] – Listener response times and invitations for “Best Of” clips.

Dynamic Pricing & Family Shopping

• [03:37] – Economic discussion of dynamic/surveillance pricing, last-minute deals.
• [09:22] – Christmas Eve shopping camaraderie.

Queen’s Speech & Royal Family Satire

• [10:05] – Commentary on the Queen’s Christmas speech tradition in the UK.

Climate Change in Kids’ Programming

• [12:31] – Satire of Build-A-Bear’s climate change Christmas special.

Media Satire - TSA Carolers & European Leaders

• [20:11] – TSA carolers and media “humanizing” efforts.
• [22:41] – EU president Van Rompuy's Haiku, mocking political platitudes.

COVID & Christmas

• [63:06] – “Cancelling” Christmas in the UK and COVID variant panic.
• [65:17] – “Covid Christmas” parody song and vaccine-related humor.
• [72:03] – Santa’s immunity and vaccination status.

Culture Warring & “Santa’s Husband”

• [43:18] – Satirical look at intersectional reimagining of Christmas stories.

Holiday Traditions: Dutch, Sinterklaas, & Jewish Customs

• [36:09] – Dutch Sinterklaas and family Christmas customs.
• [53:33] – “Hanukkah Harry” and alternative holiday characters.

Classic Jokes, Off-Color Humor, & Segment Parodies

• [94:13] – “Jab me, baby”: COVID vaccine parody song.
• [120:54] – “12 Days of No Agenda Christmas” parody.

Heartfelt & Absurd Christmas Stories

• [115:06] – “Christmas Miracle” segment: family recovers stolen car.

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Notable Quotes

• “Merry Christmas equals religion equals Republican.” (Adam Curry, 50:52)
• “Reminds me of the Brown shirt chorus of 1938.” (John C. Dvorak, 22:18)
• “Oh, Mommy, Daddy, quick. You have to stop putting carbon in the air.” (Adam Curry, 13:42)
• “I'm going to stop cussing except once a show. And it's going to be so on point... everyone’s going to go, wow, that was a big moment.” (John C. Dvorak, 57:25)
• “If you are naughty... we will not put a lump of coal in your stocking. ... You will get nothing und be happy.” (Adam as "ESG Santa", 108:50)

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Episode Highs & Lows

Highlights

• Christmas Tradition Parodies: From Dutch Sinterklaas to “Santa’s Husband” and “Hanukkah Harry.”
• COVID Satire: Skewering holiday restrictions, vaccine policies, and virtue signaling politicians.
• "Best Of" Moments: Sir Donald Winkler’s compilation showcases classic No Agenda irreverence and running gags.
• Riffs on Political Correctness: Conflicted holiday greetings and cultural appropriation debates.
• Camaraderie and Heartfelt Moments: Hosts share family stories, traditions, and reflect on personal growth.

Memorable Offbeat or Satirical Moments

• Santa’s ESG compliance warning (108:50).
• “Covid Christmas” and vaccine holiday jingles (65:17, 94:13).
• "12 Days of No Agenda Christmas" send-up (120:54).
• Bizarre holiday news stories — e.g., lost then recovered Acura (115:06).

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Tone & Style

The show keeps its classic No Agenda blend of skepticism, sarcasm, and affectionate ribbing between hosts — often veering into satire and lighthearted nostalgia. Political incorrectness and media criticism are plentiful, but personal warmth and a sense of community shine through, especially during holiday anecdotes and gratitude for listeners.

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For New Listeners

This episode is both an accessible entry point (thanks to the “Best Of” format and classic No Agenda inside jokes) and a useful snapshot of the show’s enduring themes:

• Media and politics deconstruction
• Cultural skepticism
• Blending of personal, political, and societal observation
• Emphasis on listener involvement and value-for-value model

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Conclusion

Episode 1828 is a joyful, biting, provocative, and laughter-filled No Agenda take on holiday cheer and chaos. Whether mocking media tropes, tradition-bending, or simply reminiscing about Christmases past, Adam and John keep it No Agenda: present, imperfect, and unfiltered.

“Merry Christmas... Happy Holidays... Merry Schwanza, Happy Hanukkah... Whatever it is you celebrate, be safe.” (106:19)

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### Quick Access — Key Segments

• Changing Christmas Greetings: 00:27, 50:13, 119:05
• Dynamic/Surveillance Pricing: 03:37
• Queen’s Christmas Speech Satire: 10:05
• COVID Christmas & Satire: 63:06, 65:17, 72:03, 94:13
• Dutch Sinterklaas Tradition: 36:09
• Santa’s ESG Message: 108:50
• Classic Parody Songs: 65:17, 120:54
• Christmas Miracle (Recovered Car): 115:06

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No Agenda wishes you a Merry No Agenda Christmas!

Transcript

[A]

Adam Curry, John C. Dvorak. It's Thursday, December 25, 2025. This is your award winning Gitmo Nation media assassination episode 1828. This is no Agenda, Jolly and Marianne, broadcasting live from the heart of the Texas hill country here in FEMA region number six in the morning, everybody. I'm Adam Curry.

[B]

And from northern Silicon Valley where everybody wishes you a happy Christmas, I'm John C. Dvorak.

[A]

It's crackpot and buzzkill in the morning. So that seems to be a thing people are saying Happy Christmas. Like you just said. What happened to Merry Christmas?

[B]

What's wrong with Happy Christmas?

[A]

Well, there's nothing wrong with it. It just, it seems, it seems like not the thing we used to say. Merry Christmas. Then it became Happy Holidays.

[B]

Yeah. So now they've combined the two.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

All the liberals around here are saying Merry Holidays.

[A]

No, no, really?

[B]

Merry holy, Merry hol.

[A]

That is so wrong on so many levels.

[B]

So Happy Christmas.

[A]

Merry Holidays. Well, here we are. It is Christmas. Merry Christmas. Merry holidays, Happy Christmas and all that, everybody. And we are not really here, which is a. Is this the first time we haven't done it on Christmas?

[B]

Well, we don't have. I think there's only been four Christmas shows, maybe five.

[A]

So.

[B]

Yes, it is. As a matter of fact, we normally always do it. You had. You have family in town.

[A]

Yes.

[B]

And it would seem more family friendly.

[A]

Family friendly.

[B]

Wiser not to have.

[A]

Hey, you were working during my whole childhood and now you're still doing it, you douchebag. That's what I would have gotten.

[B]

And rightly so.

[A]

Yes, exactly. So it's highly appreciated. We do, however, on the Brink have a Best of Christmas show which Sir Donald Winkler put together for us. You know, whenever you put out the call. This is interesting. Kind of in the dynamics of podcast listening. A couple days, like maybe three days later, people like, oh yeah, I just heard you, your call out, you know, because you expect. It's like, hey, I said this on Thursday, you should be telling me on Thursday. It just doesn't work that way.

[B]

That'll be the day.

[A]

It doesn't work that way. So also got Professor. The professor from China. He did. He actually did another Exit Strategies Part two, so we have that one in the can because I'm sure something else will come up eventually in our life. So we appreciate.

[B]

Oh yeah, he's good.

[A]

Yeah, he did. He did a good. Did he do the first exit strategy? I think he did.

[B]

I don't remember.

[A]

And so Merry Christmas, John. Are you celebrating today?

[B]

No, of Course not. We're going to put it off. There's a lot of good reasons for this.

[A]

What are the reasons this year?

[B]

Well, there's always the same reasons. One, traveling during the. You know, traveling on. Yeah, if you're going to travel, you want to. Why would, why does everyone want to travel on the same day? There's like the same thing with Thanksgiving. Oh, the world's worst travel day. Let's travel then. Let's do. Let's travel on that day. There's a good idea. When you can easily just offset it a day or two.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

What, you know, you know, what's the symbolism of having the turkey on Thanksgiving as as opposed to the next day or say Saturday? And then the other thing is you can get everything on sale.

[A]

Yes.

[B]

It's just the algos are going to be looking at me for everything I do and they're going to overcharge me for everything that I buy now based on dynamic pricing.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

I will be able to get everything cheaper because they're going to look up this guy. He's not paying that. He'll pay lower.

[A]

Wait a minute. It's not dynamic pricing. What was it called again? It was a preference.

[B]

Yeah, dynamics. To the old one. The old idea is dynamics. It was some surveillance.

[A]

Surveillance pricing. There you go. That's it. Nailed it.

[B]

You're going to surveil me and they're going to say, wow.

[A]

So Sir Donald Winkler put together, I would say a rather positive show. I know he must have searched for a long time, but he put together a very positive show. Positive Christmases from no agenda Christmases past. And he also put some, he added in some Christmas end of show mixes. Created his own with Suno, of course, so we can have some everybody can hate on AI during this happy season. The thing that I was listening to, because this includes stuff from way back and just multiple Christmases. Holy cow. The cussing I do is off the hook. It's really, it's cringy.

[B]

Well, not as well if you go back far enough.

[A]

Yeah, well, I don't have to go back that far. Four years, five years.

[B]

Well, good. I'm glad you noticed.

[A]

Everyone's so happy that you've taken over that role for me in the industry.

[B]

Yes. Because yes, I have. I do it less. But when I do it, they're always impactful, I believe.

[A]

Yes, super impactful.

[B]

So I'm not just, you know, the problem with people cussing is, as we know, because we listen to all these podcasts is that is the, is the Gratuitous. Just, you know, F this, F that, if this, F the F and this, the F, and that is those. There's no impact there. It's just a filler word. And filler word cussing is what gets cringy.

[A]

Well, that's what you're going to hear because when you put it all together, it gets really cringy. So here it is, part one. We'll be back in about an hour or so. Sir Donald Winkler's no Agenda Christmas special.

[C]

A merry no Agenda Christmas. John and Adam. To all the producers and douchebags of.

[A]

Gitmo Nation, Hallelujah.

[C]

And thank you for your courage.

[A]

Hallelujah. They said they had heard the show and could not resist trying to bring me up to the real gold standard of Yorkshire instead of PG Tips. I was tickled. And there's a whole box, apparently. So I can't wait to get to the office, which, by the way, Monday. So I'm flying back tomorrow afternoon. Monday evening we have our POD Show UK Christmas dinner. We're not doing a huge party, but when you put a staff together with spouses and some of our talent who work full time for productions we're doing, you're talking 25, 30 people. So of course, Patricia and I, we're gonna go to the party. What do you think shows up today in my email box, an invitation for Monday night starting at 6 o' clock for the Led Zeppelin one off reunion concert and party. I'm like, oh, my fucking God, I feel so bad for the POD show people that I won't be able to make it.

[B]

You're gonna have to make a showing.

[A]

No, I'm. I'm. Of course I'm going to the Christmas party. The.

[B]

Oh, man, I don't know. Yeah, that Zeppelin one. Of course, those guys are so gone by now, but.

[A]

Yeah, but it's like the Ahmed Erdogan Tribune.

[B]

Well, here's his Pod Safe Christmas song.

[A]

All right, I'm gonna give this. So. I've not. I don't think I've. I certainly don't recall seeing a YouTube video, but I have it lined up. You may not hear it through your headphones, but can you hear it? Okay, guys, Everyone ready to sing the song?

[B]

Yeah, I'm getting ready now.

[A]

Remember, it's almost Christmas and nobody has any Pod Safe Christmas music. So that's your motivation here. CeCe Chapman, you ready?

[B]

Ready as I'll ever be.

[A]

Lennon, Nora from Jawbone. Good to go. Let's do this. And Adam Curry skyping in from the helicopter. Flying somewhere above your golden palace. You all patched in there. Adam, Adam, Adam. Yeah, I do remember this. It's well done, though. All right. I'm not gonna play the whole thing. That's. That is pretty funny. You got to kind of see the video because you can't understand all the. All the lyrics. And they have it on screen. Yeah, it's been. It's been very, very cold here in the UK for the past. I think, the past two weeks. Just really cold. Like, constantly around the freezing point. Which made my Christmas shopping that much unhappier today.

[B]

Oh, yeah. I usually go Christmas shopping the night before Christmas.

[A]

Well, that's what I do, too. Last minute, man.

[B]

Yeah, well, the funny thing is you run into a lot of. If you go on Christmas Eve, besides the fact that they throw everything on sale, you run into. And I've done this for years, decades. You run into fellow travelers, people who are just the same. You know, they're just like you. They go on the last day and they been doing it for years, and they all. You kind of like you're. You're immediate friends with all of them, and you joke about it, and it's like a whole different crowd of people. It's mostly men, and they're out, you know, shopping around. And it's the funniest thing is because it's like one of those deals where you just like your pals with these people without even knowing them, and you're all. You all know what you're up to.

[A]

So a big cultural deal in the United Kingdom on Christmas Day at 3pm, the Queen's Speech to the. To. To the country, to her. What do you call them?

[B]

Minions. Subjects.

[A]

Subjects. That's it. And I think we've missed it every single year because, you know, it's not.

[B]

I think I saw it because I was up in Washington. I think I saw it. They think they broadcast it on Canadian news.

[A]

I'm sure they do, because, of course, Canada is controlled by the Queen still. Yeah. And it's more than just set dressing. Witness what just happened. Anyway, I don't want to get into that because we'll get all the Canadians pissed off again. So I'm like, ready for this. And so what she does is she starts off and she says. And not a smile. Right. And just horrible. It's just really cold and impersonal. And the Brits are like, oh, we love watching the Queen speech. Okay, we'll watch the Queen speech. So we're all ready, by the way. Top of the Pops came Back for a special hour and a half show before that, which was pretty cool. Anyway, so she comes on, she says, well, you know what I've learned is that when I work with people who help others in these trying times, that they truly are fulfilled, that they have fulfilled lives and they truly are happy. And then they switch to this eng footage of her boys visiting poor kids. And then there's Charles somewhere with the African kids. And, and. And then she's like, well, see, this is my family. See how much they do for other people. That's what you should do. Merry Christmas. And that was it. And I'm like, it was, it was absolutely.

[B]

I was shocked she saw it. That's what I see. They had, they showed the kids. They're always, you know, these.

[A]

Yeah, but they have no jobs. No kidding. It's easy for them to go around doing good when you have endless tax money to spend and no job.

[B]

And these are just obvious photo ops. Yeah, the guys probably blew in there, sat down. Okay. Took a couple shots. Okay, let me get out of here. And they had to wash up.

[A]

Yeah. So this is an uplifting Christmas adventure from the Build A Bear Corporation.

[B]

Quiet day before Christmas Eve.

[A]

And so they have this. I mean, it's a beautifully done, beautifully animated three. Is it three part series. Is that what it is?

[B]

I think it was supposed to be more, but the fourth one I realized was taken off and I don't know what was on that one.

[A]

Okay, so just listen to a little bit of what our kids are being taught here. Actually, I'll fast forward. So there's. So It's Santa and Mrs. Claus. They're up at the North Pole and then we see the nice little polar bears and they're having fun, they're romping around and then they come up and they talk to Santa and here's what they have to say.

[B]

Uh oh.

[A]

Hello there. What fine looking polar bears.

[C]

Pleased to meet you, Santa. I'm Ella. Oh, and this is my sister Emma. Santa, it's gone.

[B]

Gone, gone.

[A]

It's gone. What's gone?

[C]

Tell him, dad.

[A]

The north peak. A mountain. A mountain is gone? How is that possible, Santa?

[C]

Sir, that's why I'm here. That's why we're here. The ice is melting. The North Pole is melting.

[A]

Yes, my dear, we know the climate is changing. There's bound to be a little melting.

[C]

It's worse than that, Santa. A lot worse. At the rate it's melting, the North Pole will be gone by Christmas.

[A]

My, my. All of this gone by next Christmas.

[B]

I Don't think so.

[A]

No.

[C]

No, sir. Not next Christmas. This Christmas.

[A]

Oh, there'll be no more Christmas. Oh, Mommy, Daddy, quick. You have to stop putting carbon in the air. It's gonna sad this. We're all gonna be done with Christmas. This is. This is fucking. This outrages me. It just outrages me. And it's pretty. It's pret.

[B]

I don't know if it's the same one, but this guy I don't think I've ever seen. Well, maybe, but anyway, he made this interesting commentary and he's a contrarian entrepreneurial type that predicted the crash in the rust like everybody else. I just want to read this. If we. He's talking about how can we get our, you know, get the economy going again. He says we spend the money at Walmart for Christmas. If we spend the money at Walmart, the money goes to China. If we spend it on gasoline, it goes to the Arabs. If we buy a computer, it will go to India. If we purchase fruit and vegetables, it will go to Mexico, Honduras and Guatemala. If we purchase a good car, it will go to Germany. If we purchase useless crap, it will go to Taiwan. And none of it will help the American economy. The only way to help the money at home. The only way. The money here at home. To keep the money here at home. Geez. The only way to keep the money here at home is to spend it on prostitutes and beer since they're the only products still made in the US I've been doing my part.

[A]

He says, well, can we just add noagendashow.com to that? Or dvorak.org Na, yeah, we should send.

[B]

Him a note that he left this out. My battery died. Have a merry Christmas, my friend. Merry Christmas, everyone. John. My battery died. Have a merry Christmas, my friend. Merry Christmas, everyone.

[A]

So anyway, John, Merry Christmas to you, man.

[B]

Merry Christmas to you.

[A]

Thank you so much for. For your beautiful gift.

[B]

Oh, you like that?

[A]

Liked it very much. You know, it's going to determine the entire interior of our house. Everything now has to be red.

[B]

I figured it'd be a couple of spot pieces of spot art you could put up somewhere next to each other.

[A]

John gave us two beautiful pictures that he took himself. These are all tulips, I believe, John.

[B]

Yeah, apparently, yes.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

So I'm not a photographer of flowers normally, but these are from the reason I gave them to you because it reminds you of Holland, because these were taken in Holland at the tulip festival, which I went to last year during my stint at Queen's Day. And you know, it's one of those things that everybody in Holland I guess talks about. Oh yeah, the Tulip Festival. The Tulip. You go to this thing, it's for people out there who want to know about it. It's actually worth going to. And of course everybody in Holland feels this way too. It's actually worth going to once.

[A]

Yeah, I think I went to it in 1973.

[B]

One of our producers, Clark, sent this note. I thought it would be a nice Christmas ditty. Last Christmas I bought Obama T shirts for my in laws who are democr but are also racists. Nice. We sent them back to Texas from D.C. and when they came to visit a few months later, they brought this one back. They probably turned the other one into a hood. The next time it came back, just the logo came back cut out. Of course, something being the, of course, being the fine son in law that I am, I knew we would have to come up with something and send it back. My brilliant wife then had the idea to turn it into a pillow. Here's the kicker. Have my 6 year old daughter do the sewing. This way the pillow is a gift from their granddaughter and her very first sewing project. And they will have to keep it. Yeah, work on something else. I'm going to depress the listeners thinking, what is this?

[A]

These guys are crazy, I got to tell you. So we had a great Christmas yesterday. Merry Christmas to you, John, by the way.

[B]

Merry Christmas to you and to all.

[A]

The ships at sea and the boots on the ground. But we watched as one does, you watch some Christmas movies. And Scrooged was on with Bill Murray, which I think is one of my favorite Christmas movies.

[B]

I love that film. Yes.

[A]

From 1988. And if you haven't seen it, I encourage you to at least watch the beginning because there's something I noticed something very funny. And Again, this is 1988. Bill Murray is the president. He's a top executive of a television network, the IBC television network. And he's a total dick. He's the, he's the most horrible. I mean he's very true to former television executive actually. And it starts off with they're doing this big live extravaganza on Christmas Eve which is the Christmas Carol, the Charles Dickens story. And so they're in the executive suite and they're looking at the promo for this extravaganza. And so, you know, they've got a nice little promo and it looks kind of good. And apparently the promo is performing quite well. But then Bill Murray as The president of this network freaks out and says, you know, this is not you. You need to scare people that if they miss watching this show, they will, you know, their lives will be over. And then he rolls out a promo. And it's the funniest thing. I mean, it could have been any promo for any news cable news network today. And of course, in 1988, it was outrageous that the promo literally, you know, you see an airplane taking off and, and the voiceover says this special is so terrifying. And you see the airplane explode in midair and you know, the voiceover literally says terrorism. And then it's like, you know, drugs. And you see the needle going in the arm. It's exactly like what CNN, Fox, and MSNBC are today, only in 88, that was seen as an outrageous, crazy thing. It could never happen.

[B]

That's crazy.

[A]

That's crazy. That's just, that's just fiction. It's just a movie. And now we're living it. Just.

[B]

Wow. Well, you know, gives us something to talk about.

[A]

Yeah, but, you know, it's just like, wow. I was.

[B]

Should have made a clip.

[A]

Yeah, I should have. My impression kind of sucked.

[B]

A lot more pleasant now that Christmas is coming. Oh, check out the TSA carolers at lax.

[A]

This is great. But listen to the report from the compromised ABC News. This is like, so clearly, it's like, all right, here's the Ministry of truth speaking. Please make these guys look human and just listen to this report. It's outstanding. It's a bunch of TSA jabronis standing in the departure hall with like a keyboard.

[B]

There's a lot of stress. So when our singers start singing, maybe.

[A]

You'Ll get a smile.

[B]

Maybe someone will just relieve a little.

[A]

Bit of the stress.

[B]

That we do. I think to, to show a different face for the, you know, of the tsa, more human side.

[A]

And, and, and they're all in their uniforms and they got a couple of guys who like think they can sing, you know, you know those people who then go into syncopic.

[B]

I work with one had a very shiny nose.

[A]

The TSA people who have been so bad mouthed being.

[C]

Everybody together, everybody in the Christmas spirit.

[A]

Here is, here's the guy who's doing syncopic, like, you know, trying to kind of like swing through it all.

[B]

Christmas Eve sat again to say, way.

[C]

To get us on our trip for Christmas.

[A]

American Airlines flights leaving at 12:05 to.

[B]

Miami, Denver, Chicago, San. Is the bluebird here to stay?

[A]

And let's wind it up. What do you think, sir? Go, tsa yeah, yeah, yeah, we love it. Go tsa. You're awesome. Unbelievable.

[B]

Reminds me of the Brown shirt chorus of 1938.

[A]

You know, I don't know if you're making a joke, but it wouldn't surprise me if it actually existed. Do you know who the president is of the United States of Europe? John.

[B]

Well, isn't it the same guy? The dishrag guy. The what? The dish rag guy.

[A]

The dish rag guy. Yeah, yeah. You got to know his name.

[B]

Rumpoi.

[A]

Yeah, exactly. Herman Van Rompoy. He decided to leave us all with, well, you know what he does for a hobby.

[B]

Yeah, he's a poet. He's a haiku idiot.

[A]

Haiku. That's right. He wrote us a little haiku.

[B]

Oh, I want to hear it.

[A]

Well, unfortunately, it's in. He did it in Dutch slash flaw.

[B]

That sucks.

[A]

But it's only three lines, so I can translate it. Let's listen to it. Silence and happiness from Christmas to the new year. Hope in the oak of hope. We're hoping for hope.

[B]

We're hoping for hope.

[A]

Yes.

[B]

Silence. What's the silence? You tell everyone to shut up.

[A]

Let's do it again. Silence and. Actually, silence and happiness. Silence and joy. Silence and happiness.

[B]

Yeah, if you shut up, you'll be happy.

[A]

Shut up. You'll be happy. Oh, it's code from Christmas to the New Year, so you got to be shut. You got to shut up and be happy between Christmas and the New Year.

[B]

That's only a week. I don't know.

[A]

I'm just saying that's what he's telling us to do. And then the payoff.

[B]

Hope.

[A]

Hope. Also hoping for hope. What does that even mean?

[B]

I have no idea what hoping for.

[A]

Hope means, but that's what he's saying.

[B]

He's a Bob Hope fan.

[A]

That's literally what he's saying. Bob Hope fan hoping for hope. I received in the mail a piggy bank emboldened with the CIA logo from the CIA gift shop. Oh. From one of our nights in the Virginia area. This thing is outrageous. And there was a 20 inside, along with the microphone in the show.

[B]

Good CIA stuff. I have to beg, and then somebody finally. Well, you know. Throw you. Okay, well, here's one for you.

[A]

It was. It's so. It's like, you look at this thing. It's like, wow, that's just weird.

[B]

It's a piggy bank with a CIA logo. Yeah.

[A]

If you go, what else do they.

[B]

Sell in this shop? We've got to go visit the shop with a camera.

[A]

And it's all made in China. Yeah, that's the best part of it. So I tweeted it.

[B]

Yeah, heaven forbid we make a piece. A piece of pottery in the United States.

[A]

And, you know. Do you guys read the Night Before Christmas at your house by any chance? No. Well, this is not like an uncommon thing in America is. We have the Night Before Christmas.

[B]

I've never heard of it.

[A]

You've never heard of the Night Before Christmas?

[B]

No, I've heard of the Night Before Christmas. I've never heard of any bunch of cornballs sitting around the candlelight reading it.

[A]

Yeah, this is very normal. This is very abnormal. Yeah. But the Night Before Christmas is, of course, a book about, you know, the children were all tucked in their beds and snuggled with care. Whatever, with dreams that St. Nicholas would be there to give us all kinds of goodies and crap. So the whole story is about getting stuff. You know, it's a sweet story, but it's about getting stuff. And I had never. So there's a story that this family does, but apparently a lot of families read this particular story, and it comes from Sweden. I had never heard of it before. It's a very long story. It's not like in America. We're good. We get commercial, to the point, short a couple of pictures. You're done. Open up your gift before you go to bed. Now. This is the little troll. Have you ever heard of this story? This is about the little troll that wanted to become a human being.

[B]

It's about Obama.

[A]

No, it's the little troll who wanted to become a human being and discovered that the way to become a human was to help other people. And he helps this little girl and then his life changes and he eventually becomes. It's kind of a mixture between the Grinch who Stole Christmas and Pinocchio in a way, in a weird way, only with trolls, and it was just trolls.

[B]

Does he finally get on Twitter?

[A]

It was really nice, John. I have to say. It was kind of a non.

[B]

Bring a tear to your eyes. That's the most important.

[A]

It did. It did bring a tear to my eyes. Yeah, I have to say, it did bring a tear to my eye.

[B]

What?

[A]

Is that wrong? Is that so wrong? Yeah, I guess so. It is just like the crunch of boots on. Of Jack, Jack boots on jack boots on fresh snow. That's. That's actually uncanny. That's pretty. That's uncanny sounding. Actually, let's do a little skit. Okay. Twas the night before Christmas. Wait a minute. Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. Wait until I Get to the mouse part.

[B]

Cue the marching soldiers.

[A]

Hold on. Twas the night before Christmas. Let me do echo. Twas the night before Christmas. Went all through the house. Not a creature was stirring, not even a mouse. However, the Brown Shirts were out. God. Yes. That is the ghost of Christmas future, ladies and gentlemen, played by John C. Dvorak. All right, Johnny boy, what are you doing for. For the 25th? That's Wednesday.

[B]

And now this is heading up north and I'll be up there. That's nice.

[A]

So you'll be up there for Thursday's show?

[B]

Yes, I will on Sundays too.

[A]

Oh, okay. Nice. Well, that's good.

[B]

You'd be hanging out with the family and we'll see. Hopefully the connection will be as good as this. And I'll be doing my work from up there.

[A]

Okay. I'm here with the girls, all three girls. Ms. Mickey. We have Ms. Christina, and we have Ms. Rihanna. So I've got the girls here. We're doing an old school family Christmas and a big meet the kids drink thing tonight. Everyone's dropping by, so we're really festive.

[B]

Sounds like it's festive time for all.

[A]

Yeah, it's. Yeah, it is really nice. I miss the kids so much. You know what it's like when you have young kids around. Like you got J.C. and his wife. Wife, Hello. It's nice when the young kids are hanging around. You learn a lot.

[B]

Something to grumble about.

[A]

I learned a lot.

[B]

Really?

[A]

A lot.

[B]

Yeah, you tend to learn quite a bit. Adam Curry.

[A]

John C. Dvorak. It's Thursday, December 24, 2015. Time once again for your Gitmo Nation media assassination. Episode 784.

[B]

This is no Agenda.

[A]

Celebrating a man with a white beard selling camels and broadcasting live from the capital of the drone star state here in Phoebe Region 6. 6 Austin Tejas in the morning, everybody.

[B]

I'm Adam Curry and from northern Silicon Valley, where it's actually been raining for a couple of days, and I guess we need it. I'm John C. Dvorak.

[A]

Merry Christmas, John.

[B]

Merry Christmas to you. And merry Christmas to all the listeners.

[A]

And producers, too.

[B]

And producers.

[A]

And the.

[B]

And the family of no Agenda. The no agenda family. The knights and the dames.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

And everybody.

[A]

Everybody behind the scenes. Oh, yeah, everybody. Oh. Oh, my goodness. We're getting good spam in the chat room. But I apparently. I apparently suck roosters.

[B]

Why? I don't know.

[A]

Because we promote Trump and Putin. We promote Trump and Putin. I think today.

[B]

Trump and Putin show. I'm Adam Trump.

[A]

I'm John Putin, I think we need a beer. It is in most part still Christmas Eve. You still have some time for some shopping.

[C]

Pot appears to be a popular stocking stuffer this year in Seattle. An employee at the Pot Shop in Fremont tells My Northwest that sales in the past two days are the best that they've been since the store has opened. He also said one of the most popular guests is a comically large joint that sells for $80.

[A]

This is what I want. I finally know what I want for Christmas. I want the comically large joint that sells for $80. Yes. Yes. Oh, Santa. Oh, yes. Yeah. I'll tell you about my Christmas presents.

[B]

Okay.

[A]

I received a lot of alcoholic related presents. Alcohol related.

[B]

That's a hint.

[A]

Now that I think about it.

[B]

Hi, I'm David Hasselhoff.

[A]

Yeah, I got a whole bunch of cool stuff. I got, you know, Tina brought her girls over here so we on the on Christmas Eve after the show. So we had a little almost like a family celebration.

[B]

Did you have a tree?

[A]

Mm, yeah.

[B]

Is it a real tree?

[A]

It's a real tree. Yeah.

[B]

Well, get it out of there. Those things are flammable.

[A]

I do not park the hoverboard under the tree.

[B]

Oh, that would be something. I wonder how many. This hasn't been recorded yet, but there's gotta be a few hoverboards that were parked under trees, caught on fire. Caught the house on fire, burned the place to the ground.

[A]

Yeah, I'm sure. I'm so sure.

[B]

Merry Christmas. The PBS News Hour has this musical thing. They bring some musical guy on and he tells us a story about how this song came to be or something like that. And this is kind of the backstory of the song White Christmas, which I had no idea was actually a parody. It was a joke tune. Why?

[C]

We think he's going to live a lot longer than 18 and lose his hat. Next, for this holiday season, a new way to look at a classic song, Bing Crosby's White Christmas. It's the best selling single of all time with more than 50 million copies sold. Jeffrey Brown recently sat down with composer and pianist Rob Capolo, who deconstructs Music for the NewsHour from time to time.

[A]

Rob Capolo, welcome back. So nice to be here.

[B]

All right, so white Christmas, a touching, beautiful, nostalgic song, but started life very differently as a kind of parody. Yeah.

[A]

You know, we now think of it.

[B]

As perfect sentimental depiction of Christmas is.

[A]

Past, but in fact, it originally started with a verse that no one sings anymore and that Berlin actually eliminated from.

[B]

The song that sets the song in Beverly Hills, la, it actually.

[A]

The sun is shining, the grass is green, the orange and palm trees sway. And it's actually sung by somebody in Beverly Hills around a pool, dreaming of Christmas up north. So originally it was a send up of the very song that it's become.

[B]

Set in Beverly Hills, but of course came to be known and came to touch so many people because of the historical moment. 1942, American military personnel far away for the first.

[A]

Oh, John, you've ruined the movie for me now. Completely ruined. I don't think. I never watch it again.

[B]

Feeling good, you know, now you know.

[A]

The more you know, the more you get spoiled. Crazy, believe me. And of course, now we basically have Christmas in the lowlands. They probably got. Santa Claus is walking around too.

[B]

And then, you know, the funniest thing with you when you were discussing that sort of thing is if you go down to Rio in December and you're floating around Brazil, which is the middle, this is like the hottest time of the year. It is boiling, it's like 100 degrees. And there's all these Santa Claus's with the reindeer and the.

[A]

Well, that is kind of like Los Angeles is weird that way too. And it turns out we're in one of those streets where we have two neighbors at war. Oh, house wars with the light stuff.

[B]

Oh, yeah, yeah. Oh yeah, that's great.

[A]

We saw it happen. We saw. Because of course this is our first Christmas here. And we saw one side like, wow, this guy's got some lights going. And then on the other side. And now I said to Mickey, yes, He said, I think our house is perfect for. I think we can do a sleigh and reindeer on the roof. And Nikki says, I'm totally fucking up the synth story. Well, what am I doing wrong? She just texted me.

[B]

She's listening.

[A]

Yeah, of course she's listening. She's in the car. She's on the way to a meeting.

[B]

A meeting? Yeah, Sunday, for God's sake.

[A]

She works hard, man. But all right, so I guess I took all the romance out of the story.

[B]

Well, you could add. We can tell the story next week when we get closer to Chris. Or I guess it'd be Farther away from December 2nd, which is, I guess when. Or the 3rd or the 5th.

[A]

I don't know, the 5th. And then, I don't know, man. I'm from America. We always thought it was. And by the way, this Sinterklaas. So he also wears like a red robe. He's got a robe. Oh, yeah. Peter.

[B]

Hey, kids.

[A]

He's got a pointy hat and he's got a big stick, a big staff.

[B]

I got a stick for you.

[A]

Big staff for you kids. But he's very thin. He's not fat like Santa Claus.

[B]

He's a skinny guy. That's more like it. And he has weight. He has pant legs taped to, you know, just the bottom of some short pants taped to his legs.

[A]

But it's. It's cute. And so actually. And so what the family tradition is. And this kind of nice, is you. You all draw. So the big family comes together, usually not just household family. And then you'll draw lots before. Like a couple weeks before. You'll draw a name out of the hat. And then you get the name on a piece of paper, and then you have to go buy something for that person and turn it into a surprise with a. With a poem which is about that poem. But it. But. But you don't ever really say, oh, this is from me. So you basically.

[B]

Yeah, this is what you do. This is an office. This has been transposed into an American tradition of doing that in the office, where they don't want everybody buying everybody else gifts. Grab bag. Very, very. And somebody invariably gets a box of candies that they don't want.

[A]

Well, well, the. The funny thing is, is there's always some joker who puts together a huge box, right? And then you get this huge box as a present, and then you have to go through like, wood chips and box after box, molasses and all kinds of weird crap in there. It's hilarious. And then at the bottom, there's like a. Like a gift certificate. Yeah, but I. I'm sure all the listeners and get monation lowlands are very disappointed with my explanation. Now, did you do Disneyland the first day or the second day?

[B]

We did Disneyland on Christmas.

[A]

Oh, you should do it in order. Talk about Christmas first.

[B]

Let's see, what do we do first? First went to dinner, I think, in a cafeteria.

[A]

Well, not that.

[B]

Okay. Yeah, we go to Disneyland. We leave early. I have to say this. I've never seen anything quite like this. And we were stunned, I say, by the freeway traffic on Christmas. It was like. It's like the world had ended and nobody was out. They were all gone. They all left the area. I have never seen traffic like this. There was nobody on the roads. And apparently what was going on was they were already at or going to Disneyland. I talked to one of the police guys as we went into Disneyland, which was all dolled up for Christmas. And in fact, they rewrote a number of the rides and the storylines in the rides themselves for Christmas. I'm under the impression that from Halloween until New Year's, for example, the haunted house ride. Yeah, totally different ride. If you haven't been on the haunted house ride.

[A]

I've been on the haunted house ride at Halloween. Yes, it is different.

[B]

Yeah, Totally different ride. And the one that's a real head scratcher, even though some people didn't want to go on it, but we did. At least half of the family did.

[A]

Is the Fairy Dirt Land ride.

[B]

Which is also known as It's a Small World.

[A]

Oh, yeah. It's a Small World after all. Yeah, yeah.

[B]

That song is just now part of a medley of tunes for the Christmas period, which is mostly Jingle Bells. Jingle Bells and all the rest of these. Christmas. Yeah, all this low end. And they've changed everything inside, like the. What happened? And so that was interesting. And they've also lengthened the ride. I took a movie of it of the entire ride.

[A]

Wow. There's some copyright violations somewhere.

[B]

Oh, there's tons. It's all copyright violations. I'll post it and they'll let it take. Get me taken down. And it's 16 minutes.

[A]

Wow, that's.

[B]

That was pretty long.

[A]

That's pretty long.

[B]

They've lengthened the ride, it seems. And of course it was also bumping into. It was loaded with. With just traffic was in. The little boats were bashing into each other constantly. Same thing with Pirates of the Caribbean. Although they didn't change the storyline. They put Christmas gifts everywhere. And also the. The African ride where you go through Africa in a boat. That totally changed. They got. They got every. The elephants and everything are in Santa suits and they got crap hanging off of them. It's ridiculous.

[A]

Were any of the Dvoraks high when you went there? Because.

[B]

No, I was thinking it would have been a good idea. Yeah.

[A]

If you had me out there, I would have arranged it.

[B]

Now the thing is, is that I was told by one of the police security guys because we chatted with him or waiting for people and he says, oh, Christmas is the. Is the most crowded period ever. Every year it's the same. He says, do not leave the park. Says if you leave the park, you'll never get back in because every year the fire marshal shuts it down.

[A]

Oh, okay.

[B]

No more people are allowed in.

[A]

Oh, good tip.

[B]

And so. So they. So we stayed in there and watched all the way to the fireworks and then we left. What's the name of Jingle Bells Yeah.

[A]

Jingle Bells.

[B]

What's got to do with anything that has anything to do with slavery or blacks?

[A]

A Boston University theater professor claims the Christmas Carol has a problematic history because it was originally performed to make fun of African Americans.

[B]

In what way?

[A]

Let me see. The legacy of Jingle Bells is one where its blackface and racist origins have been subtly and systematically removed from its history, says Kiana Hamill, Boston University theater historian, as she wrote a whole research paper about it. Although one Horse Open Sleigh. Let me see. I don't know, man. It's a stretch. I think just a tad bit of a stretch.

[B]

It was first performed down Washington street in Boston in 1857. Some area choirs adopted it as part of their repertoire in this 1860s and 70s. Was featured in a variety of parlor song and college anthologies in the 1880s. It was first recorded in 1889 on an Edison cylinder.

[A]

All right.

[B]

Yeah. It says, it's an unsettled question whether and when Pierpoint originally composed the song that would become known as Jingle Bells. A plaque in 19 is a high. Like some guy in high school or something. It's got no. There's no way. It's bull crap.

[A]

Well, she got her name in the paper. There's a new book out just in time for Christmas coming in. This is new. Daniel, first to you. What inspired Santa's Husband?

[B]

Well, it was sort of inspired by the annual tradition we have in this.

[A]

Country of Princess Santa's husband. Stay tuned. You'll like it.

[B]

Okay, you're beating me up on these clips.

[A]

Well, I got lots of time in my hands.

[B]

Sort of inspired by the annual tradition.

[A]

We have in this country of pretending.

[B]

That there's a giant war on Christmas.

[A]

And that traditional Christmas is under attack.

[B]

So, among other things, we were reading all of the news about the Mall of America hiring a black Santa Claus last year, and me and my now wife made a joke on Twitter that if we ever had a child, they would only know about black Santa Claus. And if they saw white Santa Claus at the mall, we would just explain, well, that's his husband. And then Ashley and I knew each other from. From the Internet and from her illustration already. And she jumped into my Twitter mentions and said, boom, new book.

[A]

Boom. Cut one. Yeah. And it's out now. Available everywhere, actually. So let me read a couple of pages here. It says, like any married couple, they have their disagreements, but they always manage to kiss and make up, usually over a plate of milk and cookies. So we have the gay Santa Claus. Santa is black. He's gay. And His. And he has a husband. A white husband.

[B]

A white guy.

[A]

Yeah, yeah.

[B]

It's kind of misogyny dresses much the same.

[A]

Mrs. Claus has been wiped from history all of a sudden. It's an outrage.

[B]

That is an outrage. I'm surprised people put up with this. Everyone thinks it's great.

[A]

So what are you doing for Christmas? Are you going to. To Washington?

[B]

No, everybody's all spread out on Christmas. So we're having our Christmas here at the house on like the 29th or the 30th.

[A]

Oh, and what do you.

[B]

What do you, by the way, have been advocating this for years, which is pushing off Christmas because of one. Two reasons. One, I'm cheap. And you. And right after Christmas, you can go to the. All this Boxing Day and all these places that are selling the stuff at a deep discount and you could buy a bunch of last minute gifts at a good deal and then you have your Christmas where there's not a big rush. I can get a turkey cheaper. I'll cook a turkey or a goose.

[A]

And you are Scrooge man.

[B]

No, I'm not. I'm not saying it's just for that, but it's like you can do it little. You don't have to be. Everything has to be on the day. Oh, we got to do this on the day. Oh, it's my birthday. It's got to be on the day. I'm not a big believer. I don't. I'm not buying that. That's not a scrooge thing. But. But as a benefit. I see it as a scrooge thing. Yes.

[A]

Well, we're going to Chicago.

[B]

Yeah, I heard that.

[A]

I'm telling you, I'm telling the whole audience. Just saying.

[B]

I know. I'm just saying. I heard you're going to Chicago.

[A]

Yeah, going to Chicago. And so it's Tina's family. It's like 18 sisters, her mom, her girls.

[B]

It's gonna be girl night out.

[A]

Oh, yeah. It's gonna be a whole bunch of women. And then I think three dudes, like, okay.

[B]

Oh, yeah, you guys are screwed over.

[A]

We are totally screwed. We get better at these as we go along, don't we?

[B]

I don't think so.

[A]

Okay, well, Merry Christmas, John. Tomorrow's the big day.

[B]

Merry Christmas to you and Merry Christmas to everybody listening. Yeah, tomorrow is the big day and it's a nice Monday. Christmas is perfect for everybody gets a little extra time off. Although I think next week everybody takes the whole week off, so. Oh, really?

[A]

Who gets to do that? We don't get to do that. We have a. Do we have full show. A Kids, kids, kids, kids.

[B]

Yeah. We're going to be back on Thursday. Live. Yeah. Because this is a special show. So you could go to Chicago.

[A]

Yes.

[B]

And I could go shopping at the last minute.

[A]

Important stuff. Yes. Because you like to get everything on the cheap and celebrate.

[B]

I like to get to the last minute because it's like a men's club.

[A]

I've been a member of this club for many, many years. Yeah.

[B]

You go in there, it's not pretty. Oh, no, it's not pretty. But everybody's. Everybody knows what's going on. And there's all men. Yeah.

[A]

Y' all give that look like.

[B]

Yeah. Here we are.

[A]

The head nod here again. Hey, how you doing this year? Now, you have not actually celebrated Christmas yet.

[B]

No, it's coming.

[A]

You guys are very interesting. You Dvorak clan. I'll tell you.

[B]

Yes, we do. We're on. What do you call it?

[A]

On the cutting edge. Is that what you were going to say?

[B]

Untraditional. No.

[A]

Non.

[B]

Traditional. Unorthodox.

[A]

Yes, yes, yes.

[B]

And we're not even Jewish. Hey.

[A]

Well, we were in Chiraq for the festivities.

[B]

Yeah. I want to hear more.

[A]

We had a white Christmas. That was fantastic.

[B]

Yeah, I bet you did.

[A]

My goodness. I had forgotten what cold was like.

[B]

It's not good. White Christmases are no fun.

[A]

It was zero degrees, and then you get, what is this?

[B]

And half these places, they won't let you even start a fire. So you can't have, like a cozy fire and a white Christmas.

[A]

The Airbnb that we had had a fireplace on gas, but the gas wasn't hooked up to it, which was somewhat disappointing. And I've written a review about it.

[B]

Good.

[A]

That pisses me off.

[B]

Yeah. What's the point?

[A]

What's up with Windchill?

[B]

Windchill? What about. What do you mean, what's up with it?

[A]

People use that as, like a death knell.

[B]

Yeah, they do. Well, the wind chill does make a difference.

[A]

No kidding. Just walking outside and then there was actually no wind when I was outside and my legs just froze. Was so unbelievable. I had forgotten all about it. I lived in Jersey and New York.

[B]

Yeah, but you weren't. You know, people have to realize we noticed this going back and forth from Washington is that your pores literally changed from hot weather pores to cold weather pores, but it takes weeks. It just doesn't do it automatically. So when you're coming from hot weather pores, which is what you are, you have generally Speaking in Austin.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

And you go up to Chicago, you're just gonna, it's gonna be freezing cold.

[A]

So your pores have to adjust. The pores in your skin have to adjust.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Oh, I didn't know this.

[B]

Yeah. And so when you, this is why people, when they come down from the northern climes, like Mimi's up there most of the time she should come down here and it'll be like 50 and she's moaning, oh, it's so hot, I'm gonna die.

[A]

I've also noticed though that men and women do have different temperature settings for themselves.

[B]

Well, there's that, there's a little bit of that, but it's really mostly the pores. That's why you were so cold.

[A]

This is the one that. It may be too late, but just saying Merry Christmas instead of Happy Holidays was a bonanza.

[B]

Really? Yes.

[A]

Especially in a store like just say to the person who's helped, Merry Christmas. And it's to me like say Happy Holidays. You got to say Happy Holidays.

[B]

Well, that. Okay, let me mention something here that is very retrograde. That argument is over years ago. But okay, if they're still stuck with that in Chicago, that's.

[A]

Well, no, it's not. Let me tell you. And this goes very, very deep. And it's obvious why, why this is happening. Because Merry Christmas equals religion equals Republican.

[B]

That's your holiday stems from. It stems from Holy Day.

[A]

Oh, John, I'm, I'm.

[B]

You should throw this at them. Oh, you're more religious than me. You saying Happy Holy Days. But anyway, let's play this clip. Merry Christmas versus Happy Holiday.

[A]

Okey dokey.

[C]

For he and the first lady were married and posted this late night tweet. People are proud to be saying Merry Christmas again. I am proud to have led the charge against the assault on our cherished and beautiful phrase Merry Christmas. Some people believe the so called war on Christmas began when retail stores started swapping out the term Merry Christmas for Happy holidays. And by 2005, the change upset several cable news hosts like Bill O'Reilly. But frustration with the term may be less about religion than politics. A poll conducted by the Public Religion research institute found 66% of Democrats prefer storage used the term Happy Holidays, while 67% of Republicans say stores should only say Merry Christmas. On the campaign trail, candidate Trump promised to bring back the phrase. Politics aside, Mr. Trump's not the first president to say Merry Christmas. His predecessor used the phrase every year.

[A]

Merry Christmas. Merry Christmas. Merry Christmas, everyone. Merry Christmas, everybody.

[B]

Merry Christmas.

[A]

Merry Christmas.

[C]

Every everybody past presidents also use the term Happy Holidays, which comes from Old English for the term holy days. And Christmas is the only federal holiday based on religion. Serena Marshall, ABC News, Washington.

[B]

Right, and there's no reason. Unless there are. Apparently Democrats are the ones behind.

[A]

Yes.

[B]

Literally.

[A]

Well, come on, Aren't all millennials Democrats?

[B]

Yes.

[A]

Ok, so I'm telling you, the sequence is Merry Christmas. Crazy religious people. Crazy religious. Right. There's a war on God. There's a war on religion. Not Islam, of course, but Christianity and even Judaism. I think there's a war on Jews. So when you say Merry Christmas, it's religious. You're crazy religious. Right. You're Republican, you're Donald Trump. And then the Jews on Facebook, who I'm friends with, with Face Bag friends, they had their. And these would be liberal friends of mine, and they would say, go ahead, wish me merry Christmas. For me, it's just Monday.

[B]

And go to work.

[A]

Yeah. What are you doing on Face Bag? Do some work.

[B]

Tell them to talk about it with Hanukkah.

[A]

Who's Hanukkah Harry?

[B]

Oh, we talked about this on the no Agenda. I'm sorry, on the dhlug.

[A]

I didn't hear.

[B]

Oh, yes. Horowitz says that the Jews have a. Has a. Have a Santa Claus like character called Hanukkah Harry. Because the kids, Jewish kids, they're seeing all this stuff going on. They got the tree, you see trees and the Santa Claus and all this stuff, but they can't. And so they've dreamed up Hanukkah and apparently it's been on forever. A lot of non Jews don't know about it. And they have some sort of tree called something they've got, in other words, a parallel universe Christmas starring Hanukkah Harry. So it's bull crap. They gotta take the day off. They're not working on Monday.

[A]

That's funny.

[B]

Yeah, I thought so because I never heard of Hanukkah Harry. No.

[C]

Daddy?

[B]

Yes, Felix?

[C]

Do they celebrate Christmas on their agenda?

[A]

No, they're podcasters.

[B]

They're too. To celebrate Christmas.

[C]

Can we make a jingle for Adam and John?

[A]

What? Would you like to make the jingle about Donald Trump?

[B]

That's a good idea.

[C]

Get ready to shout, get ready to cry, get ready to pout.

[A]

I'm telling you why Donald Trump is coming to town.

[B]

You better resist.

[C]

Get into a fight.

[A]

You're gonna take on the fascist old right. Donald Trump is coming to town. He's literally Hitler. We know he's full of hate, but.

[C]

Daddy is the President. He'll make us America great.

[A]

You better mask up. You need to organize. It's time for a laugh. I'm telling you why Donald Trump is.

[C]

Coming to town Daddy, what's the difference between Santa and Donald Trump?

[B]

I don't know.

[C]

Santa's good for bells and Donald Trump's.

[A]

Good for jingles Donald Trump is good coming to town get the antifa flags.

[C]

Start flying it high Set fire to shit Punch them around the bike Guys.

[A]

Donald Trump is coming to town we know he's pure evil we know he's.

[C]

Putin's mate We all know mountain waters would punch him in the face yet.

[A]

The antiva flag start flying high Said fire the shit punch rain white guys Donald Trump is coming to town Donald.

[C]

Trump is coming to town Please don't eat me Donald Trump. Are we done?

[A]

I'm going to show my support by donating to no Agenda.

[B]

Imagine all the people who could do that.

[A]

Oh, yeah, that'd be fab.

[B]

Yeah. On no Agenda in the morning.

[A]

See, I told you. A lot of cussing. You heard it.

[B]

Well, this is my first time listening to this. It's quite entertaining. Yeah, you. Yeah, you. Yeah, yeah. You could probably knock it off.

[A]

I did knock it off. It's now I'm clean. I'm the clean version. I'm Mr. Clean, baby. Mr. Clean.

[B]

I think I'm gonna probably. I'm gonna stop cussing it all except once a show.

[A]

Okay. And it's gonna. It's gonna be so on point. It's just gonna. Everyone's gonna go, wow, that was a big moment.

[B]

Exactly.

[A]

Okay, well, even though we are taking this one short break for the first in all the Christmases that we've actually continued to do the show, we do appreciate your thoughts and prayers and love and gifts during this giving season.

[B]

Yeah. The show must go on. So people still have to help us.

[A]

Yes, and you can.

[B]

It costs the same amount to ship this show as it does the rest of them.

[A]

It actually did.

[B]

And we're actually working.

[A]

Hello.

[B]

I'm talking now. You're talking. We're not doing anything.

[A]

Yeah, it got recorded at some point. It was so funny. I'm trying to. John and Adam trying to coordinate something is, you know, you don't want us running the government or certainly not the military. Like, imagine us coordinating D Day. It's like. Because normally we record all things.

[B]

To think of D Day just because.

[A]

That was a big coordinated effort, and that's what it feels like for us to.

[B]

That reminds me of the joke. So what is. What's. What's worse than finding an apple or.

[A]

I'm.

[B]

I'm sorry. Let me get a.

[A]

You blew up.

[B]

I. I blew it. I'm starting over. So what's worse than finding a worm in an apple?

[A]

I know the answer.

[B]

What?

[A]

Half a worm?

[B]

No. The Holocaust.

[A]

Appropriate. Appropriate. Appropriate. All the Candy O fans are laughing.

[B]

I.

[A]

And I do wish all of our friends, all of our friends a very. I hope they can be calm during the Christmas season. Tucker, Candy, Nick, Megan.

[B]

Yeah, that's the group.

[A]

Dave Rubin. Everyone's jumping on.

[B]

Bannon spoke at the thing, too, and nobody talks about Bannon at all.

[A]

It's like, oh, yeah, he was there.

[B]

He's kind of been cut out.

[A]

Well, of the clips. It's just the clips. And, you know, no. No one watches these. No one watches full anything anymore. That's. That's why we're still audio, because you're kind of like, yeah, well, I got some time to kill anyway. If it's video, you know, you. You. The video's going, you know, you look down, oh, there's another cool video. Let me play that instead. Boom, you're gone. The only way to win with video podcasts is to have clips and then just the clip show, man, we're going to do another year, no video. We're going to make it until we fall down. So, Anyway, go to noagendadonations.com support us with time, talent and treasure, you can support us in so many ways. And of course, we'll be talking about art on the next show. We'll be talking about the meetups, and we'll be thanking hopefully double as many people as normal because of all the support you gave us during this Christmas show. So we really appreciate.

[B]

Yeah, all the credits will be forwarded. You're going to get your credits.

[A]

We will continue now with Sir Donald Winkler's Best of no Agenda Christmas. Just remember [e-mail]. Donate to no Agenda. Donate to no Agenda. Donate to no Agenda for a happy new Year we'll read your note and play of jingles Reach a note and play of jingles Reach a note and play your jingles for 200 or more.

[B]

Go Karma we bring to you and your kin.

[A]

Donate to no Agenda for a happy New Year. That's right, your no Agenda show is 100% supported by listener donations. So if you want to prevent anal leakage and keep your amygdala small, firm and round, don't to no Agenda.

[B]

Your service code will thank you. Boxes.

[A]

Yeah, you give each other boxes. Why go and Alienate our UK producers.

[B]

Well, they've picked up on Boxing Day in Canada. They use their Boxing Day up there. And now we're thinking about it.

[A]

People talk about it. I bet it's going to be a millennial thing, Boxing Day. You watch. You can just put money on it.

[B]

I always thought, you know, when I. I think originally I thought it was some Australian thing because that's what was in the UK and had to do with kangaroos. Boxing. I always visualize the couple kangaroos with boxing gloves on.

[A]

Okay.

[B]

On Boxing Day.

[A]

Well, I'm glad that you've been put straight. But again, I think it's a fine millennial trait. That's how it'll be brought in. Boxing Day. Oh, yes. We have Friendsgiving and Boxing Day. We don't celebrate Christmas, we celebrate Boxing Day. Don't you see that's it's headed that way.

[B]

Celebrate Boxing Day.

[A]

We celebrate Boxing Day.

[B]

Christmas is pre Boxing Day.

[A]

So people are. People will put up with a lot. And that's apparent in the United Kingdom.

[C]

Christmas is canceled in the uk.

[A]

We cannot continue with Christmas as planned. We cannot continue. It was all over the news. The US media love talking about this story. In the United Kingdom, a new variant of the coronavirus is spreading rapidly. And today, Prime Minister Boris Johnson announced.

[B]

New restrictions for areas in Britain's southeast, including London.

[A]

He urged all residents to stay home for the upcoming Christmas holiday. It is with a very heavy heart, I must tell you. We cannot continue with Christmas as planned. The variant has turned up in several other countries and mutations are not unusual. British officials say this variant does not.

[B]

Appear to be deadlier, but it does spread more rapidly.

[A]

Man, I'm gonna call some major bullshit on this. This makes no sense. This new variant, we touched on it briefly on Thursday, but come on. There's been talk of different strains for months. It's never an issue. Nothing's happening. Nothing to see here. Don't look at it. Now we got to cancel Christmas. Oh, yeah. Because of this strain, man. And they, they brought this out at 5 o' clock in the afternoon with the deadline by midnight. People went crazy trying to get up north, anywhere, anywhere out of the, out of the central, central east part of the country to just avoid being locked in your home.

[B]

Get out of London, people.

[A]

And here's the crazy thing. The Netherlands just announced. I'm sure other EU member states will follow. They're stopping all flights from and to the United Kingdom. A smaller Christmas is going to be a safer Christmas and a shorter Christmas is a safer Christmas. This this is our Covid Christmas in Paris. Christmas lights and a nightly curfew. It's a horrible thing to think that we would be here. As the World Health Organization saying to people, don't hug each other.

[B]

It's terrible.

[A]

But this year, if you love your family, if you really care about your family, we won't have these get togethers. What we're going to do is I will guarantee you that grandper or grandpa won't be here for Christmas. This is our Covid Christmas. It's beginning to look like Covid Christmas everywhere you go Take a look at.

[B]

The big box store it's opening once.

[A]

More While restaurants and bars are told no it's beginning beginning to look like.

[B]

Covid Christmas.

[A]

Ploys to stay indoors but.

[B]

The giddiest sight to see is the.

[A]

Media will be broadcasting fear porn slaves.

[B]

That are mutinous or institute are the.

[A]

Wishes of Tony and Bill. They, they will use science to ensure compliance till all of our veins have been filled. And they'll take it live on TV.

[B]

Just to prove that it won't kill.

[A]

It's beginning to look like Covid Christmas everywhere you go. Empty chairs at empty tables.

[B]

People who just weren't able to wear a mask Wherever they did go.

[A]

It's beginning to look like Covid Christmas. Soon Freedom pass will start.

[B]

But the.

[A]

Thing that I'll make you free is the MRNA vaccine plunged into your arms.

[B]

Well, none of the vaccines at this point appear like they'll work with a single dose. You know, the side effects were not super severe. That is, it didn't cause permanent health problems.

[C]

Are these vaccines safe?

[B]

Yeah, but some of that is not dramatic where, you know, it's just, you know, super painful.

[A]

But it's beginning to look like Covid.

[B]

Christmas.

[A]

Soon Freedom pass will serve.

[B]

But.

[A]

The thing that'll make you free is that MRNA vaccine.

[B]

Plunged into.

[A]

Your arm. It's Covid Christmas.

[B]

For sure.

[A]

You know, you can't sugarcoat it anymore. It's all about human life. Yeah.

[B]

We notice this.

[A]

No kidding.

[B]

Have you noticed that the news reports on COVID deaths initially often stated the age of the victim, but now it is seldom mentioned?

[A]

No, of course we can't have that. We can't have you figuring out statistics for yourself.

[B]

My question to Covid fear mongers. How many of these supposedly died of COVID would have been alive today if they were? No, if there was no virus, probably less than half. The empty chair guilt trip narrative is mostly false. I love the empty. Oh, is it going to be an empty chair? An empty Chair. There's always an empty chair. Unless you don't have enough chairs, don't you think?

[A]

And why. And if. If grandma dies, do you actually leave an empty chair open at the table.

[B]

With a meal in front of it?

[A]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[B]

For grandma.

[A]

With a place setting possible come next.

[B]

Thanksgiving at Christmas there will be empty chairs. But most of these empty chairs would be due to diseases other than Covid. Also most empty chairs caused by Covid all will be because of the virus being contracted. Somewhere besides the family get together, family members will hear being cheated out of.

[A]

Out of a final gathering with their.

[B]

Final gathering with their non now departed relatives because of the government induced fear. Funded by taxpayers of course, and promoted by the media. Hello. Yeah. Yay. Sir Donald of the fire bottles Count of Eastern Washington Spokane Valley.

[A]

Okay, thank you very much. Thank you very much. We gotta wrap this up. But I did want to make mention there is a song in the Netherlands which was done by Jup von Attack, who is a cabrache, which is old school name for stand up comic in the old world. And he wrote this song, this must be 40 years ago, called Floppy. And Floppy is a song about a rabbit, hence the flappy, flappy ears. And what happens to Flappy, this poor boy's pet rabbit, it on Christmas day. And would you believe that this song, this floppy song has been covered by Todd Rundgren of all people. And I just want to play a little bit. You can guess how it ends. But it's just so weird to have this old traditional Dutch song, creepy one covered by Todd Rundgren.

[B]

It was Christmas morning, 1961. I recall the empty pen where my rabbit bed belonged. And my mother told me, don't go in the shed. And if I just behave then I'd get something yummy later on. She also didn't know where Floppy was and said she'd ask my dad who was busy in the sheds.

[A]

So you know what happens at the end of the song, right?

[B]

The rabbit's dead. Yeah.

[A]

They eat the rabbit for Christmas dinner.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

I can't believe Todd Rundgren covered this.

[B]

Well, maybe he likes rabbit.

[A]

No, it's a horrible sad song. The kids running all over the place trying, trying to find Flappy, Flappy. And he's not in the shed. Where's Flappy? And then he's on the table. They ate Flappy. Yeah.

[B]

Well, it's kind of a sick. It's not hor. It's sick.

[A]

It's very sick. I just found it very odd that Todd Rundgrid Would do that, but maybe that.

[C]

Will Fanta still be able to visit me in coronavirus this season. What if he can't go to anyone's house or near his reindeer?

[B]

His level of immunity?

[A]

You can come down the chimichin.

[B]

His level of immunity?

[A]

He can come down the chimichi. I vaccinated Santa Claus. I vaccinated Santa Claus. I vaccinated Santa Claus. I vaccinated Santa Claus.

[B]

Santa Claus is good to go.

[A]

I vaccinated Santa Claus.

[B]

I vaccinated Santa Claus vaccinated Santa Claus.

[A]

I vaccinated Santa Claus.

[B]

Santa Claus is good to go. Hold on a second. Yes.

[A]

Yes.

[B]

Did he not vaccinate Mrs. Claus?

[A]

She doesn't count. He's a misogynist. Old Corona. This is true from the elves. Nothing about the elves in the world.

[B]

Shot.

[A]

Yeah, they have two. Everyone gets two shots. The audio.

[B]

Yeah, it was a tinny sound.

[A]

The voice was also professional. This was a professional voice. This is not like, hey, everybody, I'm gonna set this bomb off. I'm a crazy nut job. 5G, man.

[B]

No, 5G's got hey ho. 5G's got go.

[A]

Because that's the message I'd have. 5G is killing you. I'm gonna save you. Let's do it now. You got 15 minutes. That's how. That's the message I would be putting out there.

[B]

That would be the and if. Yes, and if. And there'd be pamphlets blown into the air or something. I mean, you do something. You just don't blow something up and then have somebody else theorizes about 5G.

[A]

No, no, no.

[B]

You're making a protest about 5G. You're protesting.

[A]

Yeah, but. Well, let's listen to this 25 seconds before the explosion because someone did something interesting which I want to try on you. I don't think it'll work, but let's listen.

[B]

This area must be evacuated now.

[A]

Also, I listened really closely. Some isolation and what you're hearing before this area must be evacuated now. They say all buildings. This is a professional type of announcement. If anything, it came from a script that has. This is something that you might Fight club. In fact, I kind of suspect the the Smart Light lamp post to be doing this. That's the kind of sound I'd expect from the government when they hear something telling you to evacuate.

[B]

It doesn't sound very governmental sounding. You're right.

[A]

That's a good point.

[B]

Evacuate now.

[C]

If you can hear this message.

[A]

If you can hear this message, Evacuate now. Implying that there was some thinking done about the loudness the blast. If you can hear that message, then you're within the blast zone. It just.

[B]

That.

[A]

That is really. I don't take that one lightly and see if you get anything out of this. But someone reversed this audio, which is my favorite devil trick to do. And they claim now it's much easier when you read the words on the screen than I think your brain goes, oh, yeah, I hear that. But they claim in reverse, you will hear, are you ready? Are you ready? This will be quick. Are you ready? And ends with, merry Christmas. See if you can pick any of that out of this.

[B]

Meeting.

[A]

I literally hear, merry Christmas to all. I hear.

[B]

I can hear Merry Christmas to all. And the other one I hear mostly. Are you steady? Yeah, but it's like. You can hear it. It's like looking at clouds, you know?

[A]

Well, yes, yes, yes.

[B]

And you can hear what you want if you pre. You.

[A]

I set you up.

[B]

You should not have given me. Yeah, I know.

[A]

I set you up. I was dumb.

[B]

That. So I'm. I'm already primed to hear that. Just like the old trick you do in it to an audience. I've seen it done. It's very interesting. There's that picture of the rabbit that looks like a flower or something. It looks like two different things. It was. Anyway, you tell half the audience it looks like something. You tell the other half the audience. They're gonna suggest it. And then when they show that you have raised hands and.

[A]

Right.

[B]

Whatever was suggested is what they. They report. So. Yeah. I wish you hadn't done that.

[A]

I'm sorry. I was pretty sure you wouldn't have gotten anything if I hadn't told you that.

[B]

Yeah, well, that's the idea.

[A]

Yeah. But I like it. I don't know why someone would do that and post it it, but I like it. So will we really know? Doubtful.

[B]

Now we can play Kovis Relief.

[A]

Kovis. All right.

[B]

But Slam Covid relief for millions of.

[A]

Americans remains in limbo tonight after Congress and the White House spent months negotiating the deal. President Trump called it a disgrace and then left Washington for Mar a Lago sowing chaos before Christmas. Shut up, slay. Shut up, slay. Now, John, before we get too far away from Christmas, I do have a question for you. When did Kwanzaa really become a thing in the United States or Canada, for that matter? Do you recall?

[B]

I don't know that it ever became a thing. It was an invention. It makes no sense because it's supposed to be a harvest festival or something, and it's right in the middle of winter here. Anyway, I could look it up, but I know you have something to tell.

[A]

Me, so I said, but was it during Obama's years that.

[B]

No, he was waiting for Obama.

[A]

Okay, how far do you think, according to the Book of Knowledge? I'll just tell you that Kwanzaa was created in 1966 during the aftermath of the Watts riots, and it was specifically an African American holiday. And this Maulana Karenga, who created it, said his goal was to, quote, give blacks an alternative to the existing holiday of Christmas and give blacks an opportunity to celebrate themselves and their history rather than simply imitate the practice of dominant society. So this would be. If you are truly. He made it up.

[B]

Well, yeah, he made it up, but he's refusing to acknowledge the fact that a good portion, if not the majority of black Americans are Christians.

[A]

Well, yes, correct. Correct.

[B]

So he's insulting them in some way. I don't know anyone who celebrates Kwanzaa.

[A]

Yes, you do. Yeah. Very famous person who celebrates Kwanzaa.

[B]

You.

[A]

No, no, no, no, no. And let me just specify. Kwanzaa is celebrated on the winter solstice, December 21st. So this came out on the 25th on Christmas. This is the most famous person who celebrates Kwanzaa.

[C]

Happy holidays, everyone. I wanted to take a moment to send my warmest wishes to everyone celebrating Kwanzaa. Like so many other holidays, we will be celebrating Kwanzaa a little differently this season in our home. We'll be doing it over zoom. You know, my sister and I, we grew up celebrating Kwanzaa. Every year, our family would. And our extended family, we would gather around multiple generations and we tell stories.

[A]

So in Canada, when she was growing up, because that's where she. That's where she grew up.

[B]

Up.

[A]

But maybe after she was 12, when she got back to the United States, they started celebrating Kwanzaa. But she makes it sound like this was really a thing in her non African American household, which is an African. It's actually. It is the worst form of cultural appropriation you can do as a person. I think regarding Kwanzaa is pretend that you celebrated it. You're not African American. It's not a black thing, lady. It's an African American thing. If that. Because I agree. If I say to Mo, happy Kwanzaa, he spit, takes at me. You're like, bro, we're Christian. We celebrate Christmas in our house, our home.

[C]

We'll be doing it over Zoom. You know, my sister and I, we grew up celebrating Kwanzaa. Every year, our family would. And our Extended family. We would gather around across multiple generations and we tell stories. The kids would sit on the carpet and the elders would sit in chairs, and we would.

[B]

Elders.

[C]

And of course, afterwards.

[B]

What elders? Elders.

[A]

The cult.

[B]

The hell is she talking about?

[A]

Tribal elders, John. Don't you get it? She's African now. She's African, Canadian, American, Tupac Lovin, Kwanzaa, celebrating Indian, Jamaican would sit on the.

[C]

Carpet and the elders would sit in.

[A]

Chairs and smoke at the peace pipe.

[C]

And we would light the candles and of course, afterwards, have a beautiful meal.

[B]

Oh, yeah.

[C]

And of course, there was always.

[A]

Yeah, go ahead. This is a great piece. There's much more.

[B]

Has got her. Somebody convinced her to do this.

[A]

She.

[B]

I don't believe she came up with this idea on her own. Yeah, yeah, you got to do that. I think they're making a fool out of her.

[A]

But wait until you hear how deep she goes. I mean, it's one. I think I could pull this off the way she's doing because she's.

[B]

She.

[A]

She's lying. This is. There's no way. There's no way that she celebrated Kwanzaa with the elders and can with her Indian mother, her Jamaican dad. There's just no way.

[C]

Like the candle.

[B]

No, there's no way.

[A]

No, there's no way.

[B]

Hold on.

[A]

Let's. Let's listen to this. What? She light the candles on the carpet.

[C]

And the elders would sit in chairs and. And we would light the candles and of course, afterwards, have a beautiful meal. And of course, there was always the discussion of the seven principles. And my favorite, I have to tell you, was always the one about self determination. Kujichagalia. And, you know, essentially it's about. You know, it's about be, be and do. Be the person you want to be and do the things you want to do and do the things that need to be done. It's about not letting anyone write our future for us, but instead going out and writing it for ourselves. And that principle motivates me today as. As we seek to confront the challenges facing our country and to build a brighter future for all Americans. So to everyone who is celebrating, happy Kwanzaa, from our family to yours.

[B]

Well, you know, one of the things we're overlooking here is the way is the way our fabulous rulers, their leaders, our leaders are dealing with this. I do have a Christmas message that came out from Ontario. We got a little Canadian section here. The CDN is the name of this clip. The Ontario finance minister, Rod Phillips, he gave a message to the public.

[A]

Nice and uplifting I'm sure. Now I know.

[B]

Here's a clip.

[A]

Now I know that this Christmas is a bit different than Christmases in the past. We're meeting virtually and online and not.

[B]

Able to be in person with as.

[A]

Many family and friends as we'd like to. And I want to thank each and every one of you for what we.

[B]

Are doing to protect our most vulnerable while we celebrate this very, very special but challenging holiday season.

[C]

It's all there. The folksy hay there, the fireplace, the sip of eggnog at the end, the lovely words. A beautiful Christmas message from a politician to his constituents. That, of course, is Ontario's Finance Minister, Rod Phillips. But unbeknownst to us, that whole scene might have been a bit of a ruse. While that image and that video was tweeted to Ontarians, we have now found out that Rod Phillips was sunning himself on a beach in St. Barts. And it's been a big mystery as to where is Ontario's finance minister. Just a few short weeks ago, the Toronto sun started inquiring to his office as we had heard rumors that Rod Phillips had left the country. Well, how could that possibly be? Rod Phillips is a leader in this province. He is one of the most senior cabinet ministers. He is also part of the team that crafted the lockdown rules where we saw the big box store stay open, where the small businesses were shut down. He couldn't possibly have said to all Ontarians, stay home, shut down, and then jetted off to a sunny vacation. Well, it turns out that's exactly what he did. So as news broke that Rod Phillips had indeed gone on a very lovely vacation. While the rest of us canceled our trips, canceled our vacation, patients, canceled seeing family, basically canceled Christmas did everything by Skype and Zoom and FaceTime. Just like the government told us to only move for essential services, the finance Minister of Ontario decided that he's going to get on a plane and go to Saint Barts.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Well, this is good. This is. And that's this. And when she says, we did this, we did that. No, he didn't. Lady, you're lying. No one's doing it all. You're lying. We're all lying.

[B]

If you.

[A]

If you say, oh, hi. Oh, I follow the rules. You're full of crap.

[B]

I disagree with you. I think a lot people follow the rules by next door neighbors for sure. The. The Lib Joe's for sure, because they won't even get together with each other. Oh, okay, this is not true. There's most people. I mean, yeah, there's a number of scoff laws and other people. Oh, let's do the circumvent. Let's do what we can. I. My son and his wife, they're all locked down, right?

[A]

Yes, yes. But do they not cheat at all? There's not a single time say, well, I really shouldn't have done that. This is.

[B]

I don't know that they did. I don't know this. I mean, maybe they cheat, you know, in some way. They take the mask off to, you know, to do something. Yeah, yeah. But no, cheat, cheat. It's not like flying off the same.

[A]

Barts, do they have the mask over their nose or under their nose?

[B]

It's always over the nose.

[A]

Oh, my gosh. A little harsh, but you gotta live with it.

[B]

There are rules in the world, so you kind of have to follow them.

[C]

I'm a rule follower. So if the rule is that we have to do it, then I'll do it.

[A]

All right.

[B]

We know the police are searching for a motive for the Christmas Day bombing. It turns out that suspect Anthony Warner was very interested in several conspiracy theories. A source familiar with the Nashville bomb investigation tells ABC News that Warner may have been tracking a conspiracy about lizard people.

[A]

Now authorities tell ABC News that Warner.

[B]

May have spent time hunting for alien life forms in a near state by park. Although it is not the park that we've been. That park has not yet been named. The source tells ABC News that thoughts about those conspiracies were found in writings associated with the suspect Warner. This is an ongoing investigation. At this time, it's unclear if these beliefs are connected to the Christmas Day bombing.

[A]

Sources familiar with the bomber's thinking believe that lizard people are running the show. Oh, wow. They just. Whatever you do, don't let anyone think anything about this, okay? I know there's no bomb crater. I know there's no. I know we're. I know there's all kinds of carbon blackened soot which looks like it might have been a directed energy weapon. They're coming for me. But please, just keep focused on 5G and lizard people. Do you. I have more clips. Do you have. Do you have any idea of clips? Because I have. I got a couple more.

[B]

I got nothing.

[A]

Oh. Oh.

[B]

Well, I've been following it. You know, guys, you know, this all bogus. Where's the guy's note? That's what I want to know.

[A]

Exactly. Exactly what kind of. What kind of good QAnon lizard People hunting 5G denier suicide bombs himself and leaves no note. Or as we Would call it a manifesto because this is bullshit.

[B]

All right, part three.

[C]

We'll take a look at these long COVID testing lines across the country right now, with the threat of omicron and Christmas just through three days away, many people are wanting to make sure they are healthy and can gather safely with loved ones.

[B]

Stop the clip.

[A]

Okay. Are you all right?

[B]

So there are people that. They're not sick.

[A]

They want to make sure they're healthy.

[B]

But so I'm standing there, I'm doing 40 push ups, I'm doing some jumping jacks, I'm doing some pull ups. I wonder if I'm healthy. I think I'm going to go get tested. Idiots. Are these either healthy or you're not? You know, if you're healthy, these people should be on television if you're catching something. Yeah, maybe. I think you got the sniffles. I think I'll go get tested. Why not? But no, these are people, they're just all healthy. They just want to get tested. Just in case is a way many.

[C]

People are wanting to make sure they are healthy and can gather safely with loved ones.

[A]

It's actually quite easy. Evil doing this kind of reporting. We don't even know if that's true. But they're reporting it this way. And it's telling people, even if you're not. If you're not sick, you better test yourself. It's very, very. It's a psychological operation.

[C]

And this evening, a possible game changer in the fight against Covid. The FDA has granted emergency use authorization for Pfizer's antiviral pill. Studies show the oral treatment is nearly 90% effective against severe illness and death.

[A]

What does nearly 90% mean? Is it 89? Why not just say 89? 87, 88?

[B]

They don't have any numbers.

[C]

As we get closer to Christmas, demand for testing is surging. Lines like surging here.

[A]

Demand is surging. What kind of.

[C]

But really, lines like this one here at this Washington, D.C. testing site are long. And lines like this can be seen all over the country. We are expanding our testing capacity. Washington D.C. is one of the latest cities to require vaccines for people 12 and older. @ indoor venues. The demand for vaccinations and booster shots has also caused long wait times heading into the holiday weekend. I'm getting my Covid shot. Second.

[A]

One. You had to put the abused child on it, didn't.

[B]

You? You. That's the reason for the.

[A]

Clip. Oh, it's.

[B]

Horrible. A little kid comes out. I just got my shot and I'm gonna get my Second shot. Any minute I'm gonna.

[A]

Be. But wait. Why was that in the testing.

[B]

Clip? They just threw it in.

[A]

Gratuitously. I don't. I don't even believe those people are in line for tests. I don't believe there's this big demand. I don't believe.

[B]

It. Remember last year? March, April.

[A]

Berkeley.

[B]

Yeah. Had a drive through testing.

[A]

Thing.

[B]

Yeah. I would drive past that thing once a week.

[A]

Week. No.

[B]

One. Nobody was in line.

[A]

Nobody. Here's the.

[B]

President. One of the other things that we know that has to be done is more.

[A]

Testing.

[B]

Test. Because Omicron spreads easily, especially among the unvaccinated. It's critically important that we know who's infected. That means we need more testing. On that score, we're now where we should be. Yes, we have over 20,000 free testing sites. Yes, we've used the Defense Production act and spent $3 billion billion to greatly expand the number of at home tests available for purchase. Hi kids. Just popping in with an update to let you know everything is shaping up nicely for Christmas Eve. Santa, Mrs. Claus and all the eligible elves have had their booster shots. Santa is well kitted out in the best layers of protection. His mask is well fitted and the sleigh is naturally ventilated. So I am happy to report that Santa has the all clear to take off. I'm also happy to report that all of the reindeer are healthy and symptom free. But just to be extra sure, Rudolph has had his COVID 19 test to confirm his red nose is not a COVID 19 concern. Hey. Hello, Dr. Nhu. Are you checking on Rudolph's COVID 19 test results? Hello, Dr. Tan. I was just looking at Rudolph's results. I can confirm the results are negative and is free and clear to guide the sleigh on Christmas Eve. Wonderful. I guess that red nose really is just to light the way. What is the point? Hold on a.

[A]

Second. What is the.

[B]

Point? This is a big.

[A]

Lie. No kidding.

[B]

No. I want you to play CBS.

[A]

Report. Oh no, wait a minute, minute. Are you telling me that Canada is lying about the state of.

[C]

Santa? Nancy, the World Health Organization also said today Santa is immune from COVID So we do have some good news there ahead of Christmas. Nancy Chen. Thank.

[B]

You.

[A]

What? He's.

[B]

Immune? According to the World Health.

[C]

Organization. Oh, Fauci, once you get a little.

[B]

Closer. Closer, my dear Jab me baby.

[C]

Slip a needle into my arm no.

[A]

Harm I'm an awful good slave without.

[C]

You, baby Hurry up and jab me tonight. Jab me, baby. A fourth and Fifth booster shot too for you. You'll take care of me, dear Fauci baby, hurry up and jab me tonight. Think of all the fun I'll miss ball all the New York restaurants I can't visit next year I'll be just as good A sixth, an eighth, anything you say. Jab me, baby I want a shot and four is not a.

[B]

Lot.

[C]

But I'll keep keep wearing my mask Fauci baby, hurry up and jab me tonight. Jab me baby Slip a needle into my arm no.

[A]

Harm I'm an.

[C]

Awful good slave A Fauci baby hurry up and jump me.

[A]

Tonight. All right, there it is. This. My teeth just fell.

[B]

Out. All I want for Christmas is my 2.

[A]

Front. Seriously, my front teeth just fell.

[B]

Out. If you don't mind sound fine then. This is.

[A]

Distress. You're telling me I sound.

[B]

Fine? Well, now you don't. When you make a point of trying to. You're trying to sell sound like Dylan.

[A]

Dawn. So it literally just fell out.

[B]

Now. Okay, we'll be taking a break. We'll be back.

[A]

In. No, let's just go. Let's just do it. Let's just go all the way through. Through. It'll take me 15. We're so close to the end. Let's just keep it.

[B]

Going. All I want for Christmas is my two.

[C]

Front. You've got.

[A]

Karma. I'm telling you, the world has gone nuts. And we're, and we're, and we're just here. We're just.

[B]

It. Just observing it and either shaking our fist or.

[A]

Laughing. Exactly. Well, I, I, I do have something. A nice upbeat little thing. I thought in the spirit of Christmas we would go back to the 19. I think this is 1980s with a computer Chronicles Christmas Gift Ideas with John C. Dvorak. If you're still looking for Christmas gift ideas, we have yet a few.

[B]

More tips for you from other sources. Syndicated computer columnist John Dvorak likes.

[A]

A new game for the Macintosh called Smash It.

[B]

Racquetball. And for the PC crowd, he picks traveling sidekick as a great gift item. On the hardware side, Dvorak suggests the Bectech Fanny Mac, a cooling fan.

[A]

For the Macintosh, or the Curtis Computer.

[B]

Toolkit, including pin straighteners, chip pullers and other.

[A]

Goodies. John, how come I miss this? I miss your. Your lame ass Christmas gift.

[B]

Ideas. Can you give us they were good in.

[A]

1980. They were fantastic. I love these little.

[B]

Tools. 42 years ago you're playing clips about me that are 42 years old and ridiculing him by Today's.

[A]

Standards. No, I'm not ridiculing. I want more. I want.

[B]

A. You said lame ass is.

[A]

Ridicule. I'm sorry. At the time, it was great. We all bought that fan for the.

[B]

Mac. I think the fan. The Mac needed a fan probably to cool it.

[A]

Down. I would just love to have some Christmas gift ideas from you for an updated version. I think you should put that on your substack or. Or.

[B]

Something. I.

[A]

Knew. You're a legend, man. You're a legend with this.

[B]

Stuff. I'm a legend in my own.

[A]

Mind. No, you're a legend in a lot of.

[B]

Minds. So I think, yeah, well, I'll start doing that next.

[A]

Year. All stuff like.

[C]

This. We turn now to your health this holiday season. And we're not talking about the flu or Covid, but about your heart. The risk is serious and doctors are trying to spread the.

[A]

Word. See? And literally throwing. Not Covid or flu. Don't worry about that. It's your.

[C]

Heart. This morning, doctors are urging Americans to put heart health at the top of their holiday to do list. That's because more people die from heart attacks between December 25 and January 1 compared to any other week of the year, with Christmas Day being the deadliest day of all. Doctors say the leading factors include family stress and falling out of good habits like healthy.

[A]

Eating. It's not just an issue that.

[B]

Holiday heart is a benign.

[A]

Condition. Holiday heart is a very potentially serious condition that causes people to develop heart failure.

[C]

Symptoms. Increased alcohol intake can also result in what doctors call holiday heart.

[A]

Syndrome. Have they said it enough? Have they said holiday heart enough times? So we don't.

[B]

Have. I love.

[A]

It. Died suddenly. Holiday heart. Holiday heart. Have some Holiday heart. Have some.

[C]

Eggnog. That's when binge drinking causes irregular heartbeats, which are associated with a higher risk for.

[A]

Stroke. Is this true? Does heavier drinking accelerate your.

[B]

Heartbeat? I don't know any of this to be true. And what I find peculiar is that I think a lot of people actually eat quite well on the holidays. You get some nice bird meat, which is. It's not like eating a big prime rib. You've got some. Usually potatoes of some sort or sometimes yams and.

[A]

Vegetables. Are you saying a prime rib is bad for.

[B]

You? No, I'm just saying if you're going to look at healthy food, generally speaking, people would say that a bird meat would probably be healthier than beef.

[A]

Meat. I disagree. I think the.

[B]

Beef. Okay, well, no, I know you. I. You can take either side. But let's say you have prime meat. It's beside the point. You're eating, you're not eating a hamburger from McDonald's, let's put it that way. You're not eating a wood chip meal that's from one of the fast food places. You're eating prime rib or turkey meat meat or a ham or something that's well.

[A]

Prepared. Not true. The Jews, they go, they go to, they go eat Chinese.

[B]

Crap. Yes, they do. On the. Typically on Christmas they brag about it. I've talked to Horowitz about this. I'm not, I'm, I'm on the inside of this. And yeah, they love to go eat Chinese food, but Chinese food is very.

[A]

Healthy. Are you Jewish adjacent, is that what you're.

[B]

Saying? One day, one at once a week. Jew. That's.

[A]

Me. Wait, there's more. Certain people might be more predisposed.

[B]

To it, but you could have no history of any heart related conditions and drink excessively or consume too much alcohol during the holidays. And you could create a situation.

[A]

Where you develop atrial fibrillation. I have never heard of this.

[B]

Ever. Congestive heart.

[A]

Failure. Even in the absence of any.

[B]

Pre existing risk factors, a lack of.

[C]

Sleep is another major concern. A new survey found adults on average lose 39 minutes of sleep per night over the holidays. And if you're hosting a holiday party, prepare to get even less shut eye. Party hosts reported sleeping up to 83 minutes less than usual on their party night. All contributing factors that doctors warn could spoil the holiday fun. If you don't make time to take care of.

[A]

Yourself. It could spoil your holiday fun if you fall down dead from a heart attack. Thank you. ABC Australia has an even more egregious way of communicating that you just might die, you just might be unlucky, but it's not from anything that you put into yourself. No.

[C]

No. A Santa visit is part of the Christmas tradition for many.

[A]

Families. What would you like for.

[C]

Christmas? One health expert says he's promoting unhealthy eating habits unless he loses a few belt.

[A]

Sizes. And I'm calling for a healthier representation of such an iconic figure, which is Father.

[C]

Christmas. Doctor says obesity shouldn't be celebrated at a time when so many people.

[A]

Overindulge. Statistics show that there is a significant increase of heart attack and visits.

[B]

To the ER during this period of the.

[A]

Year. We should not associate this wonderful, joyful time of the year with the need of.

[C]

Overeating. An idea professional Santas are losing their hats.

[A]

Over. So don't be fat because you can die from A heart attack, but they're conflating it with Santa. Santa's a bad example because he's fat. So tired of.

[B]

This. What firewood might tell us about the economy Right now in Europe, people are stockpiling firewood as energy bills soar. In Germany, the price of Firewood has risen 86% in a year. In Bulgaria, it's nearly doubled. Even in Switzerland, where inflation is relatively tame, the cost of firewood rose 26% in one month. Across Europe, people are bracing for energy shortages this winter as tensions over the war in Ukraine disrupt Russian gas supplies. Trump tried to warn Germany, but they just laughed him off. Germany will become totally dependent on Russian energy if it does not immediately change course. Other wood products are being impacted too. The cost of toilet paper has spiraled as the energy required to cook wood pulp becomes more expensive. High demand for wood isn't just an economic issue. Relaxation of logging laws has led to environmental protests in Hungary. Higher wood prices could lead to illegal logging and over harvesting and a shortage of timber for building. Burning wood also emits more particle pollution than road traffic and more CO2 than fossil fuels. Even so, it seems firewood will help tackle Europe's energy shortages this winter and nudge it closer to energy independence from Russia. Bloomberg suggests lap cats, quilts and brisk walks to stay warm and make the best of a bad situation. As we journey into the Great Reset, just know that your unelected overlords at the World Economic Forum are working tirelessly to create energy equity where everyone is equally cold. How is your country handling the energy crisis? Reporting for the Great Reset. I'm the tyrannical.

[A]

Lith. This is how out of touch and stupid these people are. Nancy Pelosi was and I just really negative on on our representatives here in the United.

[B]

States. Yeah. Merry.

[A]

Christmas. Yeah. Merry Christmas indeed. In fact, Nancy Pelosi wished everybody of all denominations all face a merry festival. A merry holiday season. A happy holiday season. As she left the the chair of speaker of the House.

[B]

Did. Did our. Did our fabulous Catholic speaker of the House House even say the word.

[A]

Christmas? Let's.

[C]

Listen. Strong bipartisan I vote yield back the balance of my time and wish everyone a happy, healthy and safe new year. Happy Holidays. Merry Christmas. Happy.

[A]

Schwanza. Happy Hanukkah whatever it is. You talked over.

[C]

It. Merry Christmas. Happy.

[A]

Schwanza. Happy Hanukkah. Whatever it is. Happy Schwanza. Are you kidding.

[B]

Me? Schwanz is a Kwanzaa for people with big.

[C]

Dicks. New Year. Happy Holidays. Merry Christmas. Happy Schwan. Happy Hanukkah. Whatever it is you celebrate, be.

[A]

Safe. She did say happy Christmas. Merry Christmas. She did throw in a schwanza. You gotta gotta love.

[B]

Schwanza. You got the schwanzas here coming.

[A]

In. This woman is horrible. What an idiot. Oh, goodness. What are you having for Christmas meal? What are you guys.

[B]

Having? Well, Christmas scattered.

[A]

Around. We're.

[B]

Having. Our true Christmas will be around January 12th. No, it's right. It's going to turn out to be around the January.

[A]

1St. Oh.

[B]

Okay. All right. But we have to have something in a Christmas. So tomorrow JC And Jesse and. And Theodore will be over with a three rib.

[A]

Roast. Oh.

[B]

Nice. For me. Oh, that's today. I'm sorry. That's today. They'll be over.

[A]

Today. Are you ready for them? Make sure you're ready. Make sure you got the three rib.

[B]

Rocks. I got a cellar full of wine. I'm always ready. So they'll be over today with that. And so I have that Mimi will be having. She's up stuck up north because of the scuffs. Of course she did. And so she'll be up there with Eric and the three kids and Dee, and they'll be eating something up there. And then Jay and Brennan will be a Christmas meal that she's going to prepare for his.

[A]

Relatives. Ah. And are you invited to that with his relatives.

[B]

Or. I actually.

[A]

Am. And you're not going to go.

[B]

Obviously. Well, it's because JC is doing something and the show is kind of eating into it because it's going to be really early, so it's not possible.

[A]

Yeah, yeah. Well, Tina the keeper is cooking up a ham, which we got from Nolacek Meat Meats this year. I'm very excited about.

[B]

That. That'll be delicious. Those guys do good.

[A]

Work. They know what they're doing. Yeah, we all. We got. I got some bacon, I got sausage. All kinds of stuff from them. Yeah. Okay, so that. That covers the food.

[B]

Aspect. Yes, we're done. Ho, ho.

[A]

Ho. Global citizens, this is Santa Claus. I am checking my list to see who is being naughty or nice. According to esg, the worst punishment will be for the climate change deniers. If you are naughty. Do not worry. We will not put a lump of coal in your stocking. Coal is made of carbon und carbon is verboten by esg. So we will just take your stocking und your other gifts. You will get nothing und be happy. Another tradition is the leaving of cookies and milk for Santa. These cookies must be 100% vegan and the milk must be soy milk. Under ESG there will be no more cow milk and of course no more meat. You may also leave for Santa cookies made with the cricket flour and a glass of cockroach milk. But even I will not eat this. You will eat this. Maybe not this year, maybe not next year, but we still have plenty of time to implement Agenda 2030. So now is the opportunity for giving the hugs, exchanging the gifts and eating the ham. Make the most of your unsustainable freedom while you still got it. We at the World Economic Forum this you a Merry Christmas and a happy new world order. So long farewell auf saying good.

[B]

Luck. You know, Clinton and Cosby are Kelly and Kobe Weinstein and Spacey and Jared from Subway. But do you recall the most.

[A]

Famous rapist.

[B]

Of Jeffrey Edward Epstein had an island full of kids, filmed them with politicians for Israeli influence. All of the deep state assets were afraid of his arrest. They didn't want their sex crimes posted to the Internets. So one muggy New York night, the Clinton cartel cameras glitched and the guards naps while Jeffrey Epstein's neck was snapped. Then all the media coverage said it was a mystery. You're not allowed allowed to protest and we're blaming the Chinese. Merry Christmas to filthy animal. Well, that's an enlightening report. It's uplifting for Christmas spirit. Your Christmas spirit must be flying.

[A]

High. So along with this of course we have to. My Christmas spirit is very.

[B]

High. Well, I find it to be ridiculous. I thought the whole idea was you take the assembly so you can chow.

[A]

Down. No, no. I think the reason why people are stopping is because otherwise you're throwing up all day. You know, it's like you go to have Christmas dinner. I gotta go take a dump. I gotta go puke. I don't feel.

[C]

Good. Tis the season for holiday feasting and and now some. Using medications like Ozempic, Mounjaro and Wegovy for weight loss. Say they're taking a vacation from the drugs. Unpopular opinion in the semaglutide world. Julie Stoll Kelly, who lost 38 pounds, says she's foregoing the appetite suppressing semaglutide in favor of feeling less uncomfortably full and fielding fewer questions during festive meals. She skipped her dose during Thanksgiving. What I noticed was I was still able to eat the things that I really wanted to indulge a little bit. I just had to be really conscious about how I was feeling, what I was eating, how fast I was eating it. For Kaylee Svensson who lost £90 on Mounjaro cutting back this time of year is a financial decision, a trade off to put presents under the tree. It's something that is financially extraordinarily expensive for our family to afford because our insurance isn't covering it. If I can make a box last six weeks instead of four, that will save me a couple hundred.

[A]

Extra. I think this. I'll continue in a minute. I think this may be part of the ploy to get this thing on Medicare. Look at these poor people. In order to put presents under the tree, they have to sacrifice hope. Everybody had a merry Christmas. I know that. I had a great Christmas. We had one of the human resources and her boyfriend here. That was great. And I made double dip depression slave stew for the day after Christmas, which everybody loved. If you've never heard of that, it's a no agenda staple. I've published the link to the. To the recipe in the show notes. Of course, the Dvorak family celebrates traditionally on the 29th of.

[B]

December. No, actually, traditionally we actually celebrate.

[A]

On the 1st, on the 1st of.

[B]

January, which was done in the 14th and 15th or the 15th and 16th century by the Tudors. They would always do it on the first. And we feel this is more traditional. We believe in a traditional Christmas. So we do our gifts on. On the 1st of.

[A]

January. And are they doing it all at your place or where's it taking.

[B]

Place? Yeah, everyone's gonna be.

[A]

Here. Oh, that's nice. Eric as well. Is he coming up from.

[B]

Sd? No, Eric's gonna. He says no. He snowed in. Oh, so he won't be able to come in down. Of.

[A]

Course. Of.

[B]

Course. It's in South.

[A]

Dakota. Oh, my.

[B]

God. He's starting to talk like South.

[A]

Dakota. That's. Oh, really? He's doing that.

[B]

Now? No, not yet, but it's coming. I gotta put my.

[A]

Glasses. Yeah, you can put your glasses on and look at.

[B]

Them. It's the Christmas miracle. And now what? Wait a minute. Before you play it. We've had animal.

[A]

Stories.

[B]

Yes. We've had people stories, babies in tornadoes stories. We have everything so far, but we haven't had this kind of Christmas.

[C]

Miracle. The holidays had a rocky start for the Hansens, but getting their car back just in time for Christmas, they say is the best gift they could ask.

[B]

For. We got the news that it was stolen right after.

[C]

Thanksgiving. The only thing worse than having your car stolen is having it happen around the holiday of days. So it was gut wrenching. Matt and Christy HANSEN Love their 1995 Acura Integra. So much. They invested $18,000 and restoring it for their son. But their plans vanished when it was stolen from a body shop on November 29th. It would be the best Christmas.

[A]

Miracle. And that was one of the things that she had said, that it.

[B]

Would really be a Christmas miracle and make their Christmas.

[A]

If. If they were able to find their.

[C]

Car. Travis Christensen saw the story on ksl, but no one could imagine what happened.

[B]

Next. It.

[C]

Was. It was like a needle in a haystack on a work drive. Travis spotted the car tucked behind a building in.

[B]

Taylorsville. I got a closer look at.

[A]

The car and thought, man, this really looks like the.

[B]

Car. And so I was able to go and dig up the KSL.

[C]

Article. He messaged me, I think I found your car. He sent some pictures. I couldn't believe it. He didn't want any of our reward money. He was just happy to get our car.

[A]

Back. It felt really good to be.

[B]

A part of that and helping them.

[A]

Help get that car back to them so they could. They could drive it and enjoy it and continue to make memories with.

[C]

It. Travis knows firsthand what it's like to have a car stolen, making this experience that much.

[B]

Better. It's a really fun story to be a part.

[C]

Of. This is another chapter in this car's story. As for the Hansons, they plan to pay it forward. I think it's a reminder that we can help other people more than we know. Now, as you heard, Travis isn't interested in that monetary reward, but he says he really wants to take a picture with the family. And of course, the red Acura. I'm Garna Mejia, KSL 5.

[A]

News. Oh, isn't that nice? You could have cut it down by 30.

[B]

Seconds. As long as it's under two minutes, I'm good with.

[A]

It. Well, it was a nice miracle. A Christmas.

[B]

Miracle. The red Christmas.

[A]

Miracle. The red Acura is back. Oh, I'm so happy. A good news story from jcd. Happy vibes for you and me. And we all feel better now. He's done his bit. So back to reality. That's turning to shit. Yay. Good news, everybody. Barreling down the mountain and broadcasting live from the heart of Da Vinci's hometown here in Florence, Italy. It in the morning, everybody. I'm Adam.

[B]

Curry. I'm from northern Silicon Valley where it's wet. I'm John C.

[A]

Dvorak. Really? That's all you got? It's just wet. It's just wet.

[B]

Everybody. I thought you're going to be in.

[A]

Amsterdam. No, I was in Amsterdam the first day. And then we're. Now we're in Florence because we're here for Christmas and I understood that.

[B]

You were going to go to. Right to Italy and to do whatever it was you're doing and then go to Amsterdam and do the show there.

[A]

There. Well, you have it exactly backwards now, don't.

[B]

You?

[A]

Obviously. Now we went to Amsterdam first to do some stuff there and then we went to Italy for my brother in law's 60th birthday and we're staying. We're going to be here for Christmas. That's. That's what's going on. I.

[C]

Can'T. How.

[A]

Did. How could you get that so.

[B]

Wrong? I have no idea. It's.

[A]

Unbelievable. So we almost didn't make it tonight for the show, which was rather.

[B]

Exciting. Yeah. Well, this is going to be interesting.

[A]

Story. Maybe.

[B]

Not. This is the Happy Holidays.

[A]

Clip. I have some comments. You're starting with talk clips right off the.

[B]

Bat. Oh, all my clips are talk.

[A]

Clips. This is hurting the show. Wishing people a Merry Christmas when.

[B]

You don't know what holiday they celebrate.

[A]

Is sort of like wishing someone a happy birthday when you don't know when their birthday is like. Yeah, I get the sentiment, but you're a little.

[B]

Off. That's neither here or.

[A]

There. But I get a kick out of the people who insist on saying Merry Christmas instead of just saying Happy Holidays. Happy Holidays, everybody. We're back to this again. We still haven't figured this one out. We can't say Merry.

[B]

Christmas. Well, here's the question on my mind. When is 4th of July? That's a.

[A]

Holiday.

[B]

Yes. Do we say Happy.

[A]

Holidays? No, we say happy 4th of July or Happy Independence.

[B]

Day and it's Veterans Day. Yeah, but it's day.

[A]

Off. But hold on a second. This year, I saw your newsletter. You know, we still celebrate important things like Kwanzaa and Festivus and Kwanzaa's not a holiday. And Hanukkah started on the.

[B]

Same. Hanukkah's not a holiday you don't take. There's no federal time off for Hanukkah. There's no federal time off for.

[A]

Kwanzaa. I see what you're getting at. You're getting at the holiday party.

[B]

Part. So what? So if you say happy holiday, like say yesterday or today, what are you referring.

[A]

To? Why don't you enlighten.

[B]

Me? You're referring to.

[A]

Christmas.

[B]

Yes. So why don't you say Merry Christmas or Happy Christmas? Because it's Christmas we're talking about here. Because when New year comes along, that's another holiday. You don't say happy, happy. You don't say hey. You say happy New Year and say happy holidays during new Year. Why is it only Christmas? You know that this issue comes up because there's a hatred of Christians is the only possible explanation. On the 12th day of Christmas, no agenda gave to.

[A]

Me. 12 years before.

[C]

Extinction. The world is going to end in 12 years if we don't address climate.

[A]

Change. 11 jingles.

[C]

Jingled. Someone's getting cornholed.

[B]

Today. And her head. This is a bunch of.

[C]

Scumbags. See that.

[A]

Juice? That's.

[B]

True.

[A]

False.

[B]

33. That's a magic number. 9. Trump rotations, narcissist mean long ties, insane tweets, too much small hands, small penis, big red button.

[A]

Criminal. Eight glitches.

[B]

Reported. Glitch, glitch, glitch, glitch, glitch, glitch, glitch, glitch.

[A]

7. Obamas.

[B]

Knowing. No, no, no, no, no, NO.

[A]

NO.

[B]

6. Foamers.

[A]

Foaming. Oh, my.

[B]

God.

[A]

5. Emotional support.

[B]

Goats.

[A]

4. Job.

[C]

Commas. Jobs, jobs, jobs and.

[B]

Jobs. 3, John's chair.

[A]

Squeakings. Two little.

[B]

Girlies. Yay. Yay. And an hour shopping dealer's.

[A]

Choice. Is this crownhog Day.

[B]

Too? Ho, ho.

[A]

Ho. Merry Crown Christmas. Well, well, well. Sir Donald Winkler. You have deserved your executive producer.

[B]

Credit. Actually.

[A]

Producer. Producer.

[B]

Credit. Yeah, producer. That's the big. Which is curiously in in the biz that's more valuable than executive executive is just a, you know, exec is a.

[A]

Suit. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You want to be a producer and you are one, Sir Donald Winkler. We appreciate that. A night. A night jumping into. You know, I actually sent a really nice. He said nice note. He said ever since COVID haven't been able to support you with much treasure. So I'm really happy I can contribute this way. And.

[B]

That'S. Oh, that's.

[A]

Nice. Yeah. That's how value for value works and we live by it and we die by it. So remember to support us at no Agenda donations dot com. We will return on Sunday show with a fresh new brand perspective on.

[B]

Everything. There's a lot of good.

[A]

Stuff. There's a lot of good stuff. Until then, coming to you from the heart of the Texas hill country. Christmas central in Fredericksburg, Texas in the morning.

[B]

Everybody. I'm Adam Curry land from northern Silicon Valley where we're having, you know, we getting a little rain finally. I'm John C.

[A]

Dvorak. We'll be back on Saturday. Sunday, see you then. And remember [e-mail]. adios, mofos. A hooey, hooey and.

[C]

Such. Merry no agenda Christmas. John and Adam. Come to all the producers and dous of Good morning, Hallelujah, and thank you for your.

[B]

Courage. The best podcast in the.

[A]

Universe.

[C]

Devorak. Org Na Merry Christmas, you filthy.