No Bullsh!t Leadership Podcast – Episode Summary
Episode: Moment 145. When Leaders Should (and Shouldn’t) Say Sorry
Host: Martin G Moore
Release Date: November 2, 2025
Main Theme
This episode is a concise but powerful exploration of how and when leaders should apologize. Martin G Moore examines the delicate balance between accountability, authenticity, and authority, offering pragmatic guidance on owning mistakes without undermining credibility. The central question addressed: When is it right for a leader to say sorry—and when is it not?
Key Discussion Points & Insights
1. The Two Core Principles of Apologizing as a Leader
- Saying Sorry Is Not Weakness
- Apologizing, when warranted, strengthens trust and respect from your team. Leaders shouldn’t fear that a sincere apology means losing authority.
- "Saying sorry is not a sign of weakness. In general, you shouldn't feel the need to apologise for having the courage to do the right thing just because it may be unpopular." (Martin Moore, 01:08)
- You Inherit the Portfolio—Warts and All
- As a leader, you assume responsibility for all previous decisions and issues, even those made before your tenure.
- “When you're employed in any role, you own that portfolio, along with all its history, problems and issues. This includes all the bad decisions, poor judgment, and inexcusable behaviour of the leaders who've gone before you.” (01:41)
- Sometimes you may need to apologize for a predecessor’s missteps, particularly if reneging on promises that impact individuals.
2. When Not to Apologize
- For Courageous Commercial Decisions:
- Leaders shouldn’t apologize for making tough but necessary business decisions, even if they’re unpopular.
- Example: Terminating an unviable project championed by former management.
- "That's something you should do unapologetically, because you're making a commercial decision which is in the best interest of the company." (02:26)
- Avoiding Excuse-Making Phrasing:
- Never deflect ownership by saying “I had no choice.” This dilutes your accountability as a leader.
- "To say 'I had no choice' is a shit response, especially when you're apologising for something you've chosen to do." (04:13)
3. When an Apology is Necessary
- Breaking Commitments Affecting Individuals:
- If you can't honor verbal or formal promises made by a predecessor (e.g., promotions), acknowledge it and apologize sincerely.
- Owning the Hard Calls:
- If a decision causes harm or breaks trust, a genuine apology coupled with clear accountability is necessary.
4. Managing External Pressures in a Crisis
- Advisor Overload:
- In times of crisis, legal, PR, and investor relations advisors all bring different perspectives, potentially stalling decisive action.
- Leaders must cut through competing advice and make the decision, standing by it publicly.
5. Ultimate Message: Accountability Above All
- “Apologies are important, but don't let them become excuses. Accountability is everything.” (Martin Moore, 04:28)
Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments
- On the frequency of apologies:
- "If we apologised every time we made a mistake, we'd be forever grovelling to someone." (Martin Moore, 00:35)
- About balancing apology and authority:
- "If you never apologise, you'll seem arrogant, disconnected and out of touch. But if you apologise too much, you'll appear weak, indecisive and ineffective." (00:46)
- On inheriting legacy issues:
- "You own that portfolio, along with all its history, problems and issues." (01:42)
- On dismissing choices:
- "To say 'I had no choice' is a shit response." (04:12)
- Episode suggestion for deeper dives:
- Reference to episode 188, “It’s Hard to Say Sorry”: "In this episode I walk through seven really practical scenarios and tell you exactly how to handle each one." (04:45)
Timestamps for Key Segments
- 00:35 – The conundrum of apology frequency
- 01:08 – Principle 1: Apologies aren't weakness
- 01:41 – Principle 2: Inheriting previous leadership issues
- 02:26 – Apologizing for (and not apologizing for) predecessors' decisions
- 03:15 – Navigating external pressures during a crisis
- 04:12 – Why “I had no choice” is unacceptable leadership language
- 04:28 – The role of accountability and apology
- 04:45 – Reference to episode 188 for practical scenarios
Tone and Style
Martin G Moore’s delivery is direct and pragmatic, using plain language and the signature “no bullshit” approach. The advice is laced with relatable anecdotes and a CEO’s unvarnished wisdom, appealing to listeners looking for clear, actionable leadership guidance.
To Sum Up
Martin G Moore lays out a clear, practical framework: Apologize when it’s right, don’t confuse courage with arrogance, and never apologize for strong leadership or sound decisions. Most crucially—own every decision, and never let an apology become an excuse.
For more detailed, scenario-based guidance, listeners are pointed to episode 188, “It’s Hard to Say Sorry.”
