No Bullsh!t Leadership Podcast

Host: Martin G Moore
Episode: Moment 153. What REALLY Makes You More Resilient?
Date: December 28, 2025

Episode Overview

In this high-impact "Moments with Marty" mini-episode, Martin G Moore tackles the concept of resilience in leadership, challenging popular misconceptions and emphasizing what genuinely builds enduring toughness under pressure. Marty explains that true resilience goes beyond stoicism or bravado—it's rooted in deep confidence and actionable self-regulation, especially when facing difficult situations. Drawing from real-world leadership experience, he provides practical frameworks for developing authentic, sustainable resilience.

Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Common Leadership Pitfalls in High-Stress Situations

[00:25-02:00]

• Lack of Self-Awareness Among Leaders: Many leaders overestimate their resilience, unaware of their reactions under pressure.
• Three Unhelpful Resilience Archetypes:
  • Landmine Leaders: "They're really calm when the going is good, but they explode under the slightest pressure."
  • Catatonic Leaders: "They tend to freeze under pressure, hesitate on decisions, and avoid any situation that might force them to face up to their reality."
  • Teflon Leaders: "When they're under pressure—their instinct is to blame and deflect."

2. The Real Test of Resilience

[02:00-03:00]

• Self-Regulation is Essential: Avoiding these pitfalls starts with the ability to regulate your own behavior.
• Team Composure is the Acid Test:
  • "The real acid test is whether you have the mental, emotional and psychological strength to support your team so that they remain as calm as you do." (02:36)

3. The Difference Between Acting Strong and Being Strong

[03:05-04:00]

• Superficial vs. Genuine Strength:
  • "Acting strong is that suck it up, don't show any emotion, just get on with it mentality. Even though this might be enough to get you through a crisis, you're operating from a place of fear rather than a place of composure and control." (03:25)
• Grace Under Pressure:
  • "Real resilience is incredibly calm. It comes from within. It's about genuine, deep confidence... that's grace under pressure—confident and controlled all the way to your core. There's no disconnect between what you feel and what the people around you see." (03:47)

4. How to Build Genuine Resilience

[04:00-05:00]

• The Only Way to Build Resilience:
  • "The only way to build your resilience and to eventually acquire grace under pressure is to willingly do hard things."
• Comfort in Tough Situations: Habitual exposure to challenges builds confidence and competence.

5. Four Mental Frames to Help You Embrace Hard Things

[05:00-07:00]

• 1. Look Outside Yourself:

  • "If you focus on yourself, your own feelings and fears and doubts, you'll find it difficult to step into hard situations. Instead, focus on other people. What would it mean to them if you had the courage to do something that you didn't want to do?"

• 2. Think of the Bigger Picture:

  • "We're conditioned to short term thinking... If you can develop your long term focus, you're way more likely to face into today's challenges."

• 3. Align Actions with Goals:

  • "Think about where you ultimately want to be. If you have ambitions of having genuine impact and career success... focus on the goal, the actions tend to follow naturally."

• 4. Get Comfortable with the Price of Success:

  • "There's no success without hard work, sacrifice and risk. If there was, hey, everyone would be doing it."

6. The Daily Decision: Choose the Hard Path

[07:00-07:50]

• Make Hard Choices Intentionally:
  • "If you want to become more resilient, make a choice to do the hard things that you face each day. Don't shy away from the inner turmoil and struggle. Don't be afraid to put your feelings, your image or your likability at risk." (07:10)
• Outcome: Doing this "turbocharges your resilience, accelerating your journey to grace under pressure."

Notable Quotes

• "Every truly great leader is demonstrably resilient. And it's important to understand the difference between just acting strong and actually being strong." (02:24)
• "Genuine calm—that's grace under pressure. Confident and controlled all the way to your core. There's no disconnect between what you feel and what the people around you see." (03:59)
• "Anyone can be successful if they're prepared to do hard things." (06:47)
• "This is pretty simple: if you want to become more resilient, make a choice to do the hard things that you face each day." (07:13)

Timestamps for Important Segments

• 00:25: Introduction to leadership resilience and common archetypes
• 02:36: The true test: supporting your team under pressure
• 03:25: The difference between acting strong vs. being strong
• 03:59: Defining grace under pressure
• 05:00: The four mental frames for building resilience
• 07:10: The power of deliberately embracing difficult tasks

Memorable Moments

• The vivid categorization of problematic leader types ("Landmine," "Catatonic," "Teflon") provides humor and clarity.
• The emphasis on self-regulation as the starting point for resilience.
• The call to embrace discomfort and make hard decisions, underlining the real cost and value of resilience.

Further Listening

Martin recommends diving deeper with episode 228, "Resilience Myths," for expanded techniques and discussion on the subject.

This episode is a direct, practical guide for any leader wanting to move beyond fake toughness to real, sustainable resilience in their career and team.