No Dunks: “Jurassic World: Fallen Kingdom” Rewatch | Jurassic Pals
Date: September 5, 2025
Hosts: Jay Skeets, Tas Melas, Trey Kirby, J.D.
Episode Theme:
A lively, irreverent, and surprisingly detailed breakdown of the fifth entry in the Jurassic franchise, mixing scene-by-scene recaps, genuine reactions, running gags, and sharp critiques. The crew evaluates the film’s set pieces, characters, logic gaps, and overall tone, segueing naturally between mockery, genuine awe, and big-picture questions about franchise storytelling.
Episode Overview
Main Theme:
The Jurassic Pals rewatch and dissect “Jurassic World: Fallen Kingdom,” the fifth Jurassic movie, blending affection for the franchise with their signature critical wit. They weigh the film’s over-the-top spectacle, its narrative shifts, new and recurring characters, the emotional beats (good and bad), and how the movie sets up a wide-open world for the series.
Key Discussion Points and Insights
1. Quick Facts and Setup
[01:10]
- Released June 22, 2018; $465 million budget: “This was the second most expensive film ever made.” (Jay Skeets)
- Grossed $1.3 billion worldwide; directed by J.A. Bayona.
- Brings back Chris Pratt, Bryce Dallas Howard, and Jeff Goldblum (“a sprinkle of Jeff”).
2. Opening Scene and Early Reactions
[03:14 – 06:45]
- The mercenary team’s island heist: snappy commentary on the water engineering, logic gaps (can the Mosasaur just leap over the gates?), and cinematic suspense.
- Beautiful and suspenseful direction, with lightning revealing the T. Rex (“That looks awesome.” – J.D. [06:14])
- Quote: "If you just turn your brain off … This is a classic Jurassic Park cold open. I’m in." – J.D. [06:43]
- Hosts question logic around dinosaur survival—why do characters assume all dinosaurs are dead?
3. Jeff Goldblum’s Cameo, Political Satire, and Character Dynamics
[09:15]
- Goldblum’s Ian Malcolm testifies at a Senate hearing, drawing parallels to Al Gore and climate change.
- Satirical touches: a BBC ticker about the US president questioning dinosaur existence.
- Claire’s new direction: Once a corporate exec, now an eco-activist founding the Dinosaur Protection Group—a character shift the group finds unconvincing.
- Quote: “Her big moment in Jurassic World is her blowing the brains out of a pteranodon. And then they have a kiss. I don’t believe she would ever be pro-dinosaur.” – Trey Kirby [19:01]
4. Side Characters: Franklin and Zia
[11:03]
- General agreement: they’re “functional” plot devices, not real characters (“They could have just been called Hacker and Doctor.” – Trey Kirby [11:34])
- Franklin’s comic-relief scream gets a few laughs; Zia’s occupation as a paleo-veterinarian is met with skepticism.
5. Lockwood Estate and “The Plan”
[14:18]
- Lockwood’s “partner we’ve never heard of” is retconned in—stances on his mansion/museum, his duplicate amber cane, and suddenly noble aims.
- The new island sanctuary plan is poked full of holes (“How are you getting them there then? … Don’t worry, there’s going to be a yacht with 20 people … and a really rich British couple.” – Jay Skeets [17:27])
6. Owen and Claire Reunite
[18:37]
- Claire recruits Owen with “tickets for this flight” (eye-rolls at how contrived their disagreement/reunion feels).
- Overanalysis of Owen’s motivations for returning—sentiment for “my boy Blue” or just plot necessity?
7. Isla Nublar Rescue Mission and Volcano Mayhem
[21:23 – 34:11]
- Film shifts gears into spectacle:
- The team’s arrival: shoes are more sensible than last film (“She’s changed.” – J.D. [21:34])
- Cinematic awe of the brachiosaurus moment, though hosts feel the wonder is underplayed.
- Blue, their raptor, is shot; Owen gets tranquilized.
- Lava escape sequence draws a direct (and hilarious) comparison to Leo in “Wolf of Wall Street” (“He’s trying to just drag his like body, which is numb, over the log.” – Jay Skeets [26:24])
- Notable Moment: The death of the brachiosaurus as the ship leaves, evoking real emotion (“It was crying.” – Jay Skeets [35:19])
8. The Ship and Surgery Sequence
[37:46]
- Owen and Claire must perform an impromptu blood transfusion from a T. rex to save Blue—a scene played for absurdity, with video game comparisons.
- “Feels like a video game now … we’re on the ‘getting the blood transfusion’ level.” – J.D. [37:46]
9. Lockwood Estate: Mansion Thriller
[41:45 on]
- Black market dinosaur auction is straight out of “Bond villain meets Trump donor’s house,” with prices mapped to NBA contracts (see below).
- The introduction of the Indoraptor—hybrid dinosaur designed as a weapon—leads to haunted-house hijinks.
- Comic relief: Auctioneer Eversole’s Trump impression, overpriced dino madness.
- Quote: “If you want to create an addict, you gotta give him a taste.” (on selling the prototype) – Mills [51:12]
- Wheatley's death delivered for laughs, as Indoraptor “fakes sleep” and chomps his hand.
10. Maisie’s Secret and Moral Dilemmas
[53:32 – 65:07]
- Plot twist: Maisie is revealed to be a human clone—the group finds this “jump the shark” territory. (“When it was revealed she’s a clone … this is when it’s completely, completely, completely jumped the shark.” – Trey Kirby [80:15])
- The moral dilemma: Claire almost opens the doors to free the dinos, but Maisie does instead, uttering “I had to. They’re alive—like me.”
- Big picture: The hosts agree the ending is more setup than payoff, launching the (inevitable) dinos-in-our-world sequel.
11. Final Scenes and Set-ups
[67:13]
- Dinosaurs unleashed: Blue walks free, mosasaur surfs waves, T. Rex faces down a lion, pteranodons over Las Vegas.
- Jeff Goldblum’s bookend Senate speech about the “new Jurassic period” is both epic and comic fodder.
- Hosts’ wish list: more Planet of the Apes style world-building, less going through the motions.
Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments
- “If you just turn your brain off … This is a classic Jurassic Park cold open. I’m in.” – J.D. [06:43]
- “Her big moment in Jurassic World is her blowing the brains out of a pteranodon. I don’t believe she would ever be pro-dinosaur.” – Trey Kirby [19:01]
- “It sounded exactly like the brontosaurus. So I just paused it and went and hugged my cat for a good eight minutes.” – Tas Melas [36:56]
- “This feels like a video game now. … we’re on the ‘getting the blood transfusion’ level.” – J.D. [37:46]
- “If you want to create an addict, you got to give him a taste.” – Mills [51:12]
- On the dinosaur auction: “They should be running this up, but … even the shitty dinosaurs are like $10 million.” – J.D. [44:13]
- On Maisie’s clone reveal: “I did a real ‘what the hell’s going on here?’ for sure.” – Jay Skeets [54:13]
- “Jump the shark—Maisie’s a clone.” – J.D. [81:38]
- "If you went to a Dino auction, what would you bid on?" – Trey Kirby [74:00]
Timestamps for Important Segments
- [01:10] Intro, box office & production facts
- [03:14 – 06:45] Opening underwater heist, team’s reactions
- [09:15] Goldblum in Senate, satire, Claire’s character shift
- [11:03] New sidekicks: Franklin & Zia
- [14:18] The Lockwood estate, plot to save the dinos
- [18:37] Owen & Claire’s reunion, Blue’s motivation
- [21:23] Isla Nublar rescue begins—boots vs. heels, volcanoes, awe moments
- [35:13] Brachiosaurus death scene and emotional reaction
- [37:46] Shipboard T. rex blood transfusion sequence
- [41:45] Mansion, auction, Indoraptor & Wheatley’s fate
- [53:32] Maisie’s clone revelation
- [62:47] Unlocking caged dinosaurs, moral dilemmas, unlocking sequel world
- [67:13] Finale montage: dinos at large, Goldblum’s coda
- [80:15] Hosts’ rankings and verdicts
Running Gags, Callbacks, and NBA References
- Hosts (especially Trey) compare auctioned dinosaur sale prices to NBA contracts.
- E.g., Ankylosaurus ($10M) = T.J. McConnell money / Indoraptor ($40M) = Zion Williamson money.
- Complaints about how “turn your brain off!” is necessary to enjoy the movie.
- Recurrent ribbing of overused plot points (clones, evil corporate types, “bigger badder” dinosaurs).
- Frequent allusions to Fast & Furious sequels (“Dinos on an airplane—just wait.”)
Hosts' Verdicts & Rankings
- The consensus: Great set pieces (opening, volcano, auction chaos), but movie loses focus in the mansion and with the "Maisie is a clone" twist.
- Ratings hover in the 4-5/10 range:
- Tas Melas: 5/10 – “Sells it right off the bat that we’re in this new world … 50% rate here.”
- Trey Kirby: 4/10 – “Kind of the first real dud of the series for me. It’s two movies spliced together.”
- J.D.: 4/10 – “Just dumb. Jump the shark: Maisie = clone.”
- Jay Skeets: 5/10 – “More enjoyable than The Lost World, but it’s not the best.”
- Lists so far (Skeets):
- Jurassic Park
- Jurassic World
- Jurassic Park 3
- Fallen Kingdom
- The Lost World
Fun and Insightful Observations
- The movie never actually says “Fallen Kingdom.”
- Debate on “which dinosaur would you buy” at an auction sparked NBA analogies and running jokes on dino utility.
- Calls for the franchise to go full Planet of the Apes or Mad Max for future installments.
Summary
The Jurassic Pals take a gleefully sharp look at all that’s thrilling, silly, and frustrating in Fallen Kingdom. The movie impresses with visual spectacle, set pieces, and some emotional moments, but earns criticisms for cartoonish villains, logic flaws (“turn off your brain!”), and losing sight of character motivations. Ultimately, it’s seen as a passable series entry—fun in pieces, but not living up to the franchise’s highs.
Up next: “Jurassic World: Dominion” and the dinosaur apocalypse!
Favorite final quote:
“These creatures don’t need our protection. They need our absence.” – Jeff Goldblum, quoted by Jay Skeets [86:29]