No Dunks Podcast – "Ranking All 30 Teams | 2025-26 NBA Season Preview"

Release Date: October 15, 2025
Hosts: Jay Skeets, Tas Melas, Trey Kirby, JD
Podcast: No Dunks (iHeartPodcasts)
Episode Theme:
The No Dunks crew continues their comprehensive NBA season preview by ranking all 30 teams for the 2025-26 season across five custom tiers, dissecting each franchise’s outlook, strengths, weaknesses, and the burning questions facing their rosters.

Episode Overview

With the NBA season less than a week away, the No Dunks team delivers their annual mega-preview. They've already hit over/unders, breakout stars, and award predictions; this episode is dedicated to ranking every NBA team, using their time-honored and often hilarious tier names. Each squad is discussed in-depth (with tangents galore), as the hosts debate projections, roster moves, and fan expectations—blending sharp basketball analysis and signature humor.
Tiers this year:

1. Title Contenders
2. Final Four Flirts
3. Playoff Locks
4. Play-In Hopefuls
5. Nut Dusters (bottom feeders)

Key Discussion Points & Insights

Tier Definitions & Philosophy

[02:32] Trey Kirby: "Our top tier is the title contenders. That's followed by the final four flirts. Our playoff locks is the middle tier. Play-In Hopefuls is the fourth, and down at the bottom...we're just calling them the Nut Dusters!"

The crew notes it's about team quality more than parsing “Final Four Flirt vs Title Contender”—many teams will hover near the cusp, especially in a parity-heavy league.

Notable Quotes, Debates & Moments

The “Nut Dusters” and Roadside Boiled Peanuts

• [03:16] Jay Skeets (on the infamous "Nut Dust Bowl"): "The Nut Dust bowl is when we select each one of the crappiest teams in the league, and we basically have a race to the bottom...if you have that team, you gotta do a shot glass of nut dust."
• [04:18] Tas Melas: “They can’t be salted...there’s not a lot of flavor, unlike a shotgun of nut dust. Yeah, that’s kind of full of flavor.”
• [05:27] Trey Kirby: "Bag of boiled peanuts instead of the nut dust bowl. Gotta eat the whole thing during a show. Something to think about."

Team-by-Team Snapshots (East/West Alphabetical)

Each squad covered, with hosts debating where to slot them, raising questions on roster fit, depth, star futures, and unexpected x-factors.

Team Rankings & Segment Highlights

Atlanta Hawks

• Tier: Playoff Lock (Tier 3)
• [06:24] Skeets: "They’re a playoff lock. I can’t go higher."
• Big additions: Kristaps Porzingis, Nikhil Alexander-Walker
• If they miss the playoffs, Skeets predicts it’s the end of the Trae Young era.

Boston Celtics

• Tier: Play-In Hopeful (Tier 4)
• Key question: Without Tatum (injured), is this a stealth tank? Can Simons and Boucher add enough?
• [12:03] Skeets: "This is what Missoula wants, man..." (on the team's new identity).

Brooklyn Nets

• Tier: Nut Dusters (Tier 5)
• Panel revels in “Michael Peanut Jr.” nickname.
• Young talent but low expectations.

Charlotte Hornets

• Tier: Nut Dusters (Tier 5)
• Optimism for LaMelo and Brandon Miller, but defense and depth remain big issues.

Chicago Bulls

• Tier: Play-In Hopeful (Tier 4, bottom)
• Skeets: "Will Kobe White be traded and for who?"

Cleveland Cavaliers

• Tier: Title Contender (Tier 1, behind Knicks/Thunder/Nuggets)
• [23:34] Trey: "At the very least, though, they're the second best team in the Eastern Conference. That makes them a title contender."
• Importance of Mobley's development; ceiling rests on Garland/Mitchell’s postseason impact.

Dallas Mavericks

• Tier: Playoff Lock (Tier 3)
• Annual debate on whether Dallas is truly elite or just deep/playoff-safe.
• Anthony Davis now in goggles, Cooper Flag intrigue.

Denver Nuggets

• Tier: Title Contender (Tier 1)
• Additions: Cam Johnson, Jonas Valanciunas, Tim Hardaway Jr.
• [35:47] Skeets (cautious optimism): "Are we overreacting a little bit to the Nuggets' offseason moves?"

Golden State Warriors

• Tier: Final Four Flirt (Tier 2)
• Noted as better suited for playoffs than regular season. Top six health is everything.
• New vet signings: Jimmy Butler, Al Horford.

Houston Rockets

• Tier: Final Four Flirt (Tier 2)
• Massive KD addition, but question marks at guard with VanVleet injury.
• [45:57] Tas: "A lot to go right if you don't have a lead guard."

Indiana Pacers

• Tier: Play-In Hopeful (Tier 4)
• Halliburton’s Achilles changes everything; Nemhard and Siakam must step up.

LA Clippers

• Tier: Playoff Lock (Tier 3)
• Oldest team in league history. Deep, but hosts debate if they can be better than a #5 seed in brutal West.
• Salary cap investigation a “cloud” but probably doesn’t impact on-court performance.

LA Lakers

• Tier: Playoff Lock (Tier 3)
• Losing Dorian Finney-Smith could hurt defense; offense rests on Luka/LeBron/Reaves.
• [60:46] Tas: "I'm buying into Jared Vanderbilt being healthy and being out there..."

Memphis Grizzlies

• Tier: Play-In Hopeful (Tier 4, near top)
• Already riddled with frontcourt injuries; Ja and JJJ must carry them.

Miami Heat

• Tier: Play-In Hopeful (Tier 4)
• "Top of the pops" in that tier. Playoff DNA, but aging core and Hero injury tempers expectations.

Milwaukee Bucks

• Tier: Playoff Lock (Tier 3, bottom)
• Giannis and new slotted-in vet Miles Turner keep the floor high, but guard play is shaky.
• [73:37] Tas: "Are they locked? I ain't betting against Giannis. I mean, maybe, maybe I'm guilty of doing that, but I'm fine, I'm fine locking them in."

Minnesota Timberwolves

• Tier: Title Contender (Tier 1, back end)
• Overlooked by Vegas. Ant leap expected.
• [81:15] Tas: "Yeah, I'm fine throwing them up there. I know people are reluctant to buy in..."

New Orleans Pelicans

• Tier: Play-In Hopeful (Tier 4)
• With Zion, Murphy, and Herb Jones healthy, upside for more.

New York Knicks

• Tier: Title Contender (Tier 1, just behind Thunder/Nuggets)
• Improved bench, coaching change seen as big positive.
• "[87:01] Skeets: At this point it's a disappointing season if they're not in the conference finals. Definitely, definitely disappointing season."

Oklahoma City Thunder

• Tier: Consensus #1 Title Contender (Tier 1, top)
• Defending champs, everyone returns. Only question is: repeat the elite D?
• [91:23] Skeets: "Number one with a bullet. Yeah, I mean, let's not waste any time..."

Orlando Magic

• Tier: Final Four Flirt (Tier 2)
• Desmond Bane, Tyus Jones shore up guard play.
• [94:34] Tas: “They can flirt with the final four flirt ranking...they have way more depth this year.”

Philadelphia 76ers

• Tier: Play-In Hopeful (Tier 4)
• Embiid and PG health will swing outcome; could move up or down.
• [98:27] Jay Skeets: "No idea who's playing for this team any single night."

Phoenix Suns

• Tier: Play-In Hopeful (Tier 4)
• Rebuilt around Devin Booker, defensive toughness/Dillon Brooks, but little upside beyond .500.

Portland Trail Blazers

• Tier: Play-In Hopeful (Tier 4)
• Drew Holiday anchors D; Scoot and Sharpe need to show consistency.

Sacramento Kings

• Tier: Play-In Hopeful (Tier 4)
• Defense remains the Achilles heel.
• [112:27] Jay Skeets: “They can’t stop anyone...I used to be the biggest Kings fan...now I know what actual Kings fans feel like…”

San Antonio Spurs

• Tier: Play-In Hopeful (Tier 4, near top)
• Wemby leap expected, health of Fox crucial.

Toronto Raptors

• Tier: Play-In Hopeful (Tier 4)
• Big money, big expectations, but still searching for chemistry. Skeets concerned about Scottie Barnes’ preseason shot selection.

Utah Jazz

• Tier: Nut Duster (Tier 5, bottom)
• Rebuild officially starts now; hosts focus more on jerseys and rookie Ace Bailey than wins.

Washington Wizards

• Tier: Nut Duster (Tier 5, above Jazz/Nets)
• Cam Whitmore, Trey Johnson, and others to evaluate, but little hope for .500.

Fun, Memorable Segments & Banter

• Nut Dust Rituals: Show leans into tradition of the "Nut Dust Bowl" and puns (e.g. "Michael Peanut Jr." for the Nets).
• Boiled Peanut Debate: Tas's horror at boiled peanuts [03:41].
• Goggle-Wearing NBA Player Rankings: Who’s the #2 goggle legend after Kareem? [27:17]
• Nature Karma: Running joke about “tree karma” for the Clippers breaking ground on new stadium [57:38].
• Strongest Fanbase: Who would win in a fanbase battle royale? (Miami’s “beach culture” vs Celtics “beans & attitude”) [133:46].
• Preseason Overreactions: "I usually put no stock into the preseason, haven’t loved what I’ve seen from Scottie Barnes..." – Skeets [119:34].

Timestamps for Key Segments

• [02:32] – Explains tier system for 2025-26
• [05:40] – First team ranked: Atlanta Hawks
• [13:18] – Brooklyn Nets: Origin of the “Michael Peanut Jr.” nickname
• [21:03] – Cleveland Cavaliers: Are they East favorites?
• [34:45] – Western Conference begins: Nuggets discussion
• [41:07] – Warriors: Are they a legit contender?
• [45:21] – Rockets without VanVleet; can KD bring title hope?
• [51:26] – Clippers’ age, depth, and the NBA salary cap probe
• [60:46] – Lakers: Defensive worries after roster shakeup
• [68:01] – Miami Heat: Is Norman Powell enough?
• [81:15] – Timberwolves: Is Vegas “disrespecting” Ant and co.?
• [91:15] – Thunder: Clear, unanimous top spot
• [94:04] – Magic: Are Paolo and Franz ready to break out?
• [98:27] – Sixers: Are Embiid and PG even tradable?
• [112:22] – Kings: hosts mourn team’s defensive state
• [116:45] – Spurs: Wemby’s year?
• [132:43] – Full tier results and recap
• [133:46] – “Strongest” and “weakest” NBA fanbases

Conclusions & Takeaways

This episode is both a preview and a time capsule, as the hosts shuffle, debate, and joke their way through all 30 NBA teams, setting the state of the league for opening night.

• The parity is real: 12 teams end up in the "Play-In Hopefuls" tier
• The largest questions revolve around injury comebacks (Celtics, Pacers, Pelicans, Sixers, etc.) and new-look superteams (Clippers, Rockets with KD)
• Thunder, Nuggets, Knicks are seen as top tier; Cavaliers and Timberwolves are right there
• Magic on the rise
• Nets, Jazz, Wizards, and Hornets round out the bottom as the most likely Nut Dust Bowl participants

The show provides a smart and often hilarious primer for NBA diehards and newcomers alike—complete with inside jokes, running bits, and bold predictions.
If you want to know what to expect—and what to watch for—this episode is a true NBA fan’s must-listen.

Notable Quotes by Timestamp

• On Hawks’ pressure: "If they’re not a playoff lock, this is the last year we see Trae Young with the Atlanta Hawks. Book it." – Skeets [06:36]
• On Giannis: "Are you betting against Giannis? I ain’t betting against Giannis." – Tas [73:37]
• On Ant and the Wolves: "You can’t bet against Ant. That’s part of it." – Tas [82:54]
• On the Thunder: "Let’s not waste any time on this. The Thunder—slot them ahead of the Nuggets." – Skeets [91:23]
• On the Suns’ owner: "He said, it’s not going to be measured in wins and losses this year. It’s going to be measured in success. What? That’s a real riddle." – Trey [102:43]

Final Tiered Rankings (by Grouped Tiers)

Tier 1 – Title Contenders:

• Thunder, Nuggets, Knicks, Cavs, Timberwolves

Tier 2 – Final Four Flirts:

• Rockets, Warriors, Magic

Tier 3 – Playoff Locks:

• Clippers, Lakers, Hawks, Pistons, Mavericks, Bucks

Tier 4 – Play-In Hopefuls:

• Spurs, Grizzlies, Heat, Celtics, Raptors, Pacers, Sixers, Blazers, Bulls, Suns, Kings, Pelicans

Tier 5 – Nut Dusters:

• Hornets, Nets, Wizards, Jazz

For those seeking a sharp, lighthearted, and fully up-to-date portrait of every NBA team before tipoff, this episode covers it all—with keen insights, laughs, and a few wild predictions to track all season.