If you’ve been the competent one for decades, you can get so good at holding everything together that you stop noticing you’re not actually inside your own life. Mary Rothwell opens with a personal turning point, leaving a career-defining job after it became unsafe, and the disorienting question that followed: who am I when my identity is no longer my role?

Midlife coach Sandra Wood joins us with her own flashbulb moments, including a breast cancer diagnosis that sparked a life review and a clear internal message to show up for herself. We talk about what happens when you start setting boundaries after years of people-pleasing and overfunctioning: the system pushes back, conflict feels threatening, and labels like selfish or crazy can get thrown your way. Sandra shares how learning to tolerate discomfort and let other people have their feelings can become the most freeing boundary of all.

We also dig into the messy middle: divorce, depression, rebuilding financial stability, and parenting daughters while reinventing yourself in real time. Along the way, we explore the difference between “managing” your life and inhabiting it, why kindness is a stronger compass than being “good,” and how the caregiving role can quietly erase your wants if you don’t stay present to them.

Finally, we clear up a common point of confusion for women seeking support: coaching vs therapy, when you may need both, and how to vet a therapist or coach with confidence. If you’re at a crossroads with burnout, boundaries, identity, perimenopause stress, or caregiving pressure, this conversation offers language and next steps. Subscribe, share with a friend who’s carrying too much, and leave a review with the boundary you’re ready to practice next.

Learn more about my book, Nature Knows: Grow and Thrive through the Wisdom of Plants HERE.

Comments about this episode? Suggestions for a future episode? Email me directly at NSVpodcast@gmail.com.

Want to be a guest on No Shrinking Violets Podcast for Women? Send Mary Rothwell a message on PodMatch, here: https://www.podmatch.com/hostdetailpreview/noshrinkingviolets

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