Podcast Summary: Noche de Pendejadas with Alannized Episode Title: Alesia Tess Talks All: Grief, Jail, Divorce, MOMager, Drama, CHISME & MORE!!
Release Date: May 9, 2025
Host: Alannized (Alan Iced) & Studio71
Guest: Alicia Al (Alicia Alessia Tess)

1. Introduction

In this deeply personal and candid episode of Noche de Pendejadas, host Alan Iced welcomes Alicia Alessia Tess, a social media manager and devoted mother, to discuss her tumultuous journey through grief, incarceration, divorce, and her role as a "MOMager." The conversation delves into Alicia's struggles, resilience, and the complexities of balancing personal trauma with her responsibilities as a mother and manager.

2. Childhood and Family Background

Alicia begins by sharing her challenging upbringing. Raised in San Bernardino, California, she was separated from her brother and placed with different grandparents due to her teenage parents' struggles with substance abuse.

• Alicia Al (01:03): "We ended it within the marriage without him even leaving the home before it even ended. The kids didn't even know what was going on."

Her parents' battle with addiction led to frequent relocations, first to Kansas in an attempt to stabilize their lives, and later back to California. The instability profoundly affected Alicia, contributing to her own troubled teenage years.

• Alicia Al (04:55): "So that's why I lived a very troubled teenage life too. I think about it all the time. It's almost very traumatic..."

3. Tragic Loss and Its Impact

At 14 years old, Alicia experienced the devastating loss of her best friend, who was tragically killed in a fight involving her friend's boyfriend.

• Alicia Al (11:26): "I was telling them, you can't. That's why I'm so strict with them. I'm like, in an instant, anything can happen."

This loss left Alicia grappling with intense grief and contributed to her rebellious behavior, including running away from home.

4. Time in Juvenile Hall

Alicia recounts a significant incident that led to her six-month stay in juvenile hall. After getting into a serious fight, a police officer drew his gun on her, an experience that left a lasting impression.

• Alicia Al (28:40): "I was like, oh, they're going to take us to go call our parents and then I'm going to go home. Nuh. That didn't happen for six months."

During her time in juvenile hall, Alicia realized the need to change her path, ultimately deciding to leave Kansas and return to California to rebuild her life.

5. Teenage Pregnancy and Becoming a Mother

Alicia became a teenage mother, which marked another pivotal shift in her life. She discusses the immediate responsibilities and emotional adjustments that came with pregnancy.

• Alicia Al (37:11): "I wanted a boy, but I think to take care of the rest of my kids in the future because that's what I was always told."

Her pregnancy was met with support from her grandparents, who recognized her potential and encouraged her to embrace motherhood despite the challenges.

6. Marital Issues and Divorce

Alicia shares the complexities of her marriage, which endured over 20 years before culminating in a public divorce. The breakdown was gradual, with increasing disrespect and lack of communication.

• Alicia Al (45:32): "I knew that I always wanted. I wanted a family. ... I couldn't keep my family together for my kids."

The divorce was conducted quietly, without her husband leaving the home initially, leaving their children unaware of the underlying issues.

7. Managing Children's Social Media Presence (MOMager Role)

Transitioning into the role of a "MOMager," Alicia discusses managing her daughter Josie's burgeoning social media career. She balances this responsibility with her duties as a mother, aiming to protect her children from the pitfalls of online exposure.

• Alicia Al (64:17): "I am a licensed cosmetologist, so that was something that I specialized in. But I lost interest after the divorce."

She emphasizes the importance of maintaining control over her children's online presence to ensure their safety and well-being.

• Alicia Al (66:46): "I tell them whenever it comes to something and I'm like, this is mom telling you to do this. The manager's telling you to do this. You make the decision."

8. Coping with Grief and Trauma

Throughout the episode, Alicia reflects on her ongoing struggle with grief and trauma. She discusses the coping mechanisms she employs, such as isolating herself to protect her children from her emotional pain.

• Alicia Al (25:54): "Do you feel like your kids have been a huge support system and you starting to feel yourself again?"

Despite her efforts to maintain strength for her children, Alicia reveals vulnerabilities and the continuous effort required to heal from past traumas.

9. Advice and Insights

Alicia offers heartfelt advice to listeners dealing with similar struggles. She emphasizes the importance of taking life one day at a time and cherishing the moments spent with loved ones.

• Alicia Al (24:26): "Enjoy the time that you have with the people that you're around."

She also underscores the significance of self-reliance and not depending solely on others for happiness and stability.

10. Conclusion

The episode concludes with Alicia expressing gratitude for her family's support and her commitment to her children's futures. She reflects on the positive aspects of motherhood and her desire to provide a better life for her kids than what she experienced.

• Alicia Al (44:41): "The best thing that has ever come out of being a mother is just the love that you receive back."

Alan commends Alicia for her openness and resilience, highlighting the valuable insights she shared about overcoming adversity and fostering a supportive family environment.

Notable Quotes:

• Alicia Al (04:55): "So that's why I lived a very troubled teenage life too. I think about it all the time. It's almost very traumatic..."
• Alicia Al (11:26): "I was telling them, you can't. That's why I'm so strict with them. I'm like, in an instant, anything can happen."
• Alicia Al (24:26): "Enjoy the time that you have with the people that you're around."
• Alicia Al (44:41): "The best thing that has ever come out of being a mother is just the love that you receive back."

Key Takeaways:

• Resilience in Adversity: Alicia's journey underscores the strength required to overcome a troubled past and the importance of self-reliance.
• Impact of Trauma: Early childhood instability and traumatic loss profoundly shaped Alicia's behavior and life choices.
• Balancing Roles: Navigating the complexities of being both a mother and a social media manager presents unique challenges.
• Coping Mechanisms: Alicia highlights the necessity of finding personal coping strategies to handle grief and emotional pain.
• Advice for Others: Emphasizing the value of cherishing loved ones and taking life one day at a time offers solace to listeners facing similar struggles.

Follow Alicia Al:

• Instagram, Twitter, & TikTok: @alannized

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