Alan Ice (2:59)

What is up, everyone? I'm your host, Alan Ice. And this is Noche de Pendejadas, your favorite podcast turn talk show. And. So, without any further ado, please help me welcome my guest tonight.

Allison Lopez (Ali) (3:23)

Ali. Hi. Thank you so much for having me.

Alan Ice (3:32)

I'm so excited. I was telling Ali before we started, like, filming you guys. I see you all over Tick tock. I see you always getting clipped to streams. Too much, but I'm so excited. How busy has your week been? I know you've been in LA for like, what, like a week or two already?

Allison Lopez (Ali) (4:07)

Yeah. Okay. First I want to say it's about time you had me. Yeah, I mean, I'm like, dude, when the is my episode on Ellen gonna come on? But I was so happy when you reached out. Like, I was actually gagged, first off, Like, I'm a viewer of the show and, like, I've been following for.

Alan Ice (4:19)

Thank you.

Allison Lopez (Ali) (4:19)

Yeah, absolutely. Like, thank you so much for having me. But no, dude, honestly, like, this week, like, it's been back to back to back to back. Like, I've done, I think, here in LA alone, like, maybe four or five streams in the last, like, three or four days. I definitely keep my schedule busy when I'm traveling. And like, bitch, I don't have my money, so I'm not wasting no time.

Alan Ice (4:38)

No, you really aren't, because you guys. Yo, no, the nia pensado que pueci ba pasar esto este miss. I had reached out to you, what, like maybe two.

Allison Lopez (Ali) (4:47)

A month ago? Maybe like two weeks ago.

Alan Ice (4:49)

And, oh, yeah, she wasn't in town. And I was like, okay, give me your number. I kind of, like, put it, like, I'm, like, on a shelf. I was telling her. I was like, I really thought we were gonna make it happen. Like, maybe January, February, just because of the holidays. I know, like, you're super busy. But then when you texted me, like, this week, like, hey, I'm in town, I was like, no, we gotta make it happen. And we're making it happen, and I'm so excited. Classes, just in case. Anyone watching?

Allison Lopez (Ali) (5:21)

Absolutely. So my name is Allison Lopez. I am 26 years old, and I am from Tucson, Arizona. I guess I'm a streamer baddie. I don't stream personally yet. Hopefully maybe soon. Yeah, my job is Basically, like, I hop on streams and I don't know. The camera loves me.

Alan Ice (5:38)

No, they do.

Allison Lopez (Ali) (5:39)

The people love you.

Alan Ice (5:40)

And they keep coming back like that.

Allison Lopez (Ali) (5:42)

I'm like, dude, you know, it's so crazy because, like, I started off as, like, a meme, which we'll get into later. But, like, I feel like with memes, it's so hard to stay relevant. And, like, I don't know how the I've done it. I don't know if it's because I'm a place to work with or what it is. But, like, I mean, I've been relevant for almost two and a half years already. And, like, I'm. I'm very happy and successful.

Alan Ice (6:01)

I want to go straight to talking about you. How was Ali growing up? Where did you grow up? And how would you describe your childhood?

Allison Lopez (Ali) (6:14)

Oh, my God. So I was born in Tucson, Arizona. I love my city. I love where I'm from. I'm so proud of where I'm from. Baby Alley. Or should I say Baby Raimundo? Baby. Because I'm a trans woman. Yes. Baby Raimundo was just such a happy kid. I'm a tourist. So, like, I've always been so unapologetically myself. I'm super happy, super bubbly, and, like, I've always been this way since I was a baby. Super flamboyant. Like, I don't know. I can't. I guess I don't have any other word. And say, like, very theatrical and happy.

Alan Ice (6:48)

What were, like, the hobbies that you liked doing as a kid? Or what's like, a childhood memory that when you, like, think about now, you're like, oh, my God, that was so fun.

Allison Lopez (Ali) (6:55)

See, one of my earliest childhood memories is, like, I remember I would, like. Cause I loved hair. Anything that had to do with hair, I was obsessed with. So I remember one of my cousins, she would hate when I fucked with her hair. But my grandma, my great grandma, she would, like, yell at her, be like, let her do your hair. And I'd put lotion in all my cousin's hair to make it so, like, silky. Yes, yes, yes. But, like, they heard me be, like.

Alan Ice (7:21)

What the did she do?

Allison Lopez (Ali) (7:27)

You know? Like, it was so crazy. My parents were married for, like, 18. Yeah, about eight, 17, 18 years. I just. A very good childhood. And then there was, like, some small hiccups on the way or like, whatever. But for the most part, like, I'm very happy that my parents, like, provided the life that they did for us. You know, we weren't, like, rich we weren't poor, but, like, my parents also were very good at, like, making sure we had everything. And I was very blessed in that aspect.

Alan Ice (7:54)

You grew up in a very religious household. How religious were you guys growing up? What role did religion play in your everyday life?

Allison Lopez (Ali) (8:04)

Yeah, absolutely. So between, like, the ages of, like, or since I was. I opened till. I think I was, like, 10 or 11. I was raised Catholic, and, like, I was very much, like, I had to go to catechism. Like, I did my Holy First Communion, I did my Confirmation, and then, like, I don't know what it was exactly, like, the pinpoint, like, where the switch happened. But my dad started going to church, to Christian church, and we kind of converted into being Pentecostal Christians. And if you know anything about Pentecostal Christians, it's very much we speak. They speak in. We're. I guess we. Because I guess I still go by that. The religion. We speak in tongues. I don't speak in tongues, but, like, they speak in tongues. They're all about, like, prayer. Like, it's a very, like, I guess, strict religion to a certain extent. Church did help me a lot. I'm gonna be so honest. I still. I don't go to church as frequently as I should. I do have a relationship with God, and I'm very proud of that. I don't hide it at all. I feel like if it wasn't for God, I wouldn't be in a lot of the situations that I'm in right now or have the blessings that I do. Not necessarily my faith, but, like, my religion and church played a really interesting factor, I guess, in my upbringing. If we're going to, like, skip past, I guess, like, the Catholic part. I was very much super flamboyant growing up, and my parents really never told me anything, like, as a kid, because they're like, oh, like, she'll grow out of it. Or he'll grow out of it. Whatever. XYZ. Is. When I stopped playing as Bratz Dolls because I loved Bratz Dolls growing up. Like, those were my bitches. Like, those are my homegirls. Like, my. My dolls are my friends. My parents just assumed, like, oh, like, he's growing out of it. Like, whatever. When we started going more to church was when I discovered the beauty side of YouTube. Like, fashionista804. Like, I was obsessed with hair extensions. I discovered Carli Bible. Oh, I love her.

Alan Ice (9:49)

Desi, wait. If you're a big Carli Bible fan, how gagged were you when, like, announced her and her man got back Recently.

Allison Lopez (Ali) (9:56)

Oh, I'm so here for my Brett. Brett. I was like, oh, my God. Like, it kind of reminded me of, like, the Notebook when, like, they leave and then they find each other again. If, you know. You know. I mean. Yes. Like, if you were gagged as much as I was, I was like, oh, dude. I was.

Alan Ice (10:11)

No, that healed something. Because I used to love Carly by. Well, she's so gorgeous.

Allison Lopez (Ali) (10:16)

No, dude, she's iconic. She still is. Like, she looks the same.

Alan Ice (10:19)

Yeah.

Allison Lopez (Ali) (10:19)

She literally looks like she's 22 still. Like, I discovered all that shit. And I remember my mom had a makeup bag underneath her bed, and it was like, of makeup. Like, she either didn't use or, like, she didn't, like, whatever. I used to practice doing my makeup in the bed, in the restrooms before I would shower so I could, like, wash it off and shit. My dad actually, mind you, I'm, like, 13 right here. I remember I was, like, trying to. I think. I don't know if it was winged liner or eyeshadow, but it was like, when Lana was, like. Everybody was trying to do, like, that Lana Del Rey, like, classic fucking eye look. And I was trying to do it, and my dad opened the door. I forgot to lock the door. And. Yeah, no, I tried to slam it in his face, and he, like, opened it again. I was like, what the fuck is going on? Like, he was gagged. Like, mind you, at this point, like, we're Christian. Like, we're very much, like, in a religious household. Like, we go to church literally twice on Sundays, every Wednesday, and then we'll go to Friday prayer. So, like, we're very much, like, locked in. And my parents were Sunday school teachers at the time. They were, like, I guess, considered, like, leaders in the church. It was insane. And, like, I can, like, laugh about it now, but, like, I remember being, like, so, like, confused because I'm like, they're making it seem like if I'm fucking, like, smoking weed or, like, if I broke into a car.

Alan Ice (11:50)

Like, you're a criminal.

Allison Lopez (Ali) (11:52)

Yeah, Like, I'm a bad, like, kid. Like, it's just makeup. It's so crazy because I remember, like, visually, like, word for word, my dad telling me, like, you know, things would be differently, like, or we would think differently about this if we weren't, like, in church. And I'm like, okay, so, like, you're punishing me because of, like. Yeah, your beliefs. Like, I don't understand how that makes sense. I don't understand how I'm so bad. You know?

Alan Ice (12:16)

How did that make you feel, you know, you were so used to being yourself. You know, you got momento on that. You almost have to, like, hide who you are because, you know, you're getting told that it's not right. It's not okay. Como di. So do you feel like at one point, you almost even had. Not resentment, but, like, even we're like, you know what? Like, maybe I don't want to be as religious, because if that comes with, like, not being myself, then I don't want it.

Allison Lopez (Ali) (12:40)

Oh, absolutely. Absolutely. I remember, like, kind of. And mind you, I was going through so much other shit, which we'll get into after, like, this story. Like, I was dealing with, like, rejection problems. Like, I. Abandonment issues. Like, I was going through so much shit already, and then to have this laid on me, I was like, okay, like, I don't feel love anymore. Like, I almost, like. Like I don't feel wanted. You know what I mean? And, like, if I was feeling rejection from another person who's, you know, supposed to be in my life the way that they should, like, why am I not feeling it from the people who are supposed to love me the most, you know? And I'm saying all this all now, you know, But I just want to clarify that I have a really good relationship with both of my parents now. We're in such a healthy, good place, and I don't. I love them dearly, you know, and I will do anything for them, just as, like, I know that they would do anything for me back then. I just. I just remember, like, hating, like, my parents and religion and everything that has to do with them, because I'm like, I don't. Like, you should love your kids, you know, like, you should. Like, why am I not feeling loved? Like, why am I not feeling, you know, like, the. The support from the people who I need it most from. And mind you, I'm only a kid. Like, I'm. I'm. As much as we think we know it all, and we're 13 or 14 years older. We're so in a rush to grow up. We don't know shit.

Alan Ice (13:59)

Yeah.

Allison Lopez (Ali) (13:59)

You know this, though. Those are our development years of where we need guidance and people who are going to show us, like, morals and everything like that. So, yeah, that's definitely something that, like, played a really big character in my development, you know?

Alan Ice (14:14)

You know, I can really relate with you on that. Porquillo Tambien. I grew up Catholic, but I was very involved. Like, I've always said the story growing up very similar. I was Growing up, I was so involved to the point that, like, my punishment would be. I used to go reside Rosario with my grandma all the time at this time. And I used to, like, sneak out whenever my mom would ground me and would be like, nova cira resale Rosario con tabuelita yo mesa llama escapada Yva? Por que yva? And I feel like once I started growing up and, you know, siempres escucha de que pues obiamente, you know, male to male is not, you know, seen as okay, you know, in religion. I feel like as I started getting older, I was like, oh, my God, Like, I'm horrible. Like, these feelings that I'm feeling are not okay. Like, I'm gonna go to fucking hell. There was even times where I would even, like, pray to God, like, please, God, if you really love all your children, like, please, like, make these feelings go away. Like, I don't want to be gay. Did you ever have any moments where you almost were, like, trying to see if you can pray it away or pray away these feelings that you were having internally?

Allison Lopez (Ali) (15:18)

Oh, no, absolutely. And let me just add on to what you said. Like, the church is very vocal and not in the way that they should be about homosexuality. Scares is a way, yes. It, like, they don't realize that there's a way of, you know, whether if they want to stick to the Bible and whatever, which I completely respect, you know, but there's a way that you approach people and wanting them to, you know, like, find their salvation or help them find God. A sin is a sin.

Alan Ice (15:46)

Yeah.

Allison Lopez (Ali) (15:46)

You know, being gay, I guess, is a sin. Being trans is a sin. But guess what? So is cheating on your wife. So is stealing money.

Alan Ice (15:54)

So is talking shit on your neighbor.

Allison Lopez (Ali) (15:56)

So is talking shit on your neighbor. So is the being on Tinder, being on some bullshit, being a hoe, actually, you know, but, like, excuse my French, but, like, you're no better than me, and I'm no better than you, and I feel like that's where church now is, like, such, like, that's where I feel like they failed. Like, you know, people, you know, And I'm not saying every single church. I would hate to, you know, pin the blame on everyone, but I'm just talking about, like, people who are just so, like, by the Bible and X, Y and Z, and it's like, no, like, if you're gonna be by the Bible, like, you better condemn yourself as well.

Alan Ice (16:34)

You better be God yourself.

Allison Lopez (Ali) (16:35)

You better be Jesus Christ himself. Like, fucking coming back to this Earth. Excuse me. I shouldn't say that. You know, like, you better, like, be him, like, damn near, like, condemning me because you need to take a long look in the room. You're looking your reflection before you ever choose to condemn somebody, you know, for the. Not even, like, their decisions, but who they are.

Alan Ice (16:54)

Yeah.

Allison Lopez (Ali) (16:54)

You know, it's. That's horrible. I remember definitely, like, having conversations with God and, like, just telling him, like, why don't I. Not even necessarily, like, why am I like this? But, like, why don't I feel love?

Alan Ice (17:07)

Yeah.

Allison Lopez (Ali) (17:07)

You know, I don't feel love for myself. I don't feel love for the people around me. I don't feel love for my siblings. I don't feel it anymore. And I don't. It's. Oh, my God. I think I would, like. Ooh. I just remember, like, seeing, like, I don't know what it was, if it was like a thought or if it was like a sentence, but, like, I just remember him, like, comforting me and like, showing something to me, like. Like, you're loved. Like, you don't need to change for anybody. This is who you are. And, like, you don't need anybody because you have me.

Alan Ice (17:45)

Yeah.

Allison Lopez (Ali) (17:46)

And excuse me, now you're good. Ever since then, like, and mind you, I'm like, I'm just a kid looking for these answers.

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Allison Lopez (Ali) (18:54)

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Allison Lopez (Ali) (20:18)

I just don't think like as a kid you should have to worry about stuff like this.

Alan Ice (20:22)

No, it is scary growing up, you know, being different and being told by church that what you are is it okay. What piece of advice can you give anyone watching that feels that way right now or doesn't feel accepted by their religion because of their sexuality?

Allison Lopez (Ali) (20:36)

If I can give any advice, just remember like, you're loved. You know, you might not be feeling it right now, but like you're gonna find something and it's gonna bring you so much comfort. It doesn't matter what religion you are, you're gonna find a higher power or an answer to all your questions and it's gonna bring you so much peace. Just remember, like, especially if you're younger, like your life's only getting started, don't ever feel like it's crashing down on you right now. Like tomorrow's a brand new day and it's just up to you what you decide to do with it. And I just hope that you don't ever make the decision on bringing yourself down because of someone who you are as a person.

Alan Ice (21:14)

Growing up, were you more of like a daddy's girl, a mommy's girl? What was that relationship like Growing up.

Allison Lopez (Ali) (21:20)

I don't think I was either. Like, I was definitely, like. I think it was very neutral, if I'm be honest. Let me backtrack a little bit. Okay. So my three younger siblings have the same dad. I. The dad who raised me is their dad, so I refer to him as my dad. But I also have another father who is in Sinaloa. He is very much, like, super in and out of my life. It's always been like this for as long as I can remember. When I was, like, 16, he came back for, like, almost a year. That's when I was, like, struggling with my abandonment issues and all that bullshit. I'm so grateful to my stepdad, even though he was kind of a dick growing up. I'm not gonna lie. I'm so glad that he came into my life and, like, he raised me as his own and. And, you know, not every man is gonna do that. And I just. I applaud him so much. And he did a really good job with my siblings and I. And he came in when I was a baby. Mi apa de Sinaloa. He was, like, super in and out of, like, my life like, always. And I remember, like, always kind of going back and forth from Sinaloa, like, almost every year when I was younger. And then, like, I just remember one day, like, I just never heard from him again. I think I was, like, maybe, like, 12 or something. I was about 12 years old. And our relationship was kind of weird because, like, you're aware of this person, you see this person, but you don't know them, if that makes sense. And, like, you hear from them from time to time. You talk over the phone. But, like, I never really had, like, a relationship relationship.

Alan Ice (22:51)

Like, you know, it's your dad, but it doesn't feel like he's your dad.

Allison Lopez (Ali) (22:53)

Yeah, it was, like, weird. And, like, I knew that he would help my mom out with money, like, all the time with me. So, like, he was there financially for me growing up a little bit. And then I didn't hear from him from, like, the ages of, like, 12 to, like, 16. No, it's 15. I was a sophomore in high school. We were working on a relationship for, like, a year, and then out of nowhere, like, poof, he took the fuck off. And, like, I didn't hear from him. Like, I didn't talk to him. Like, I didn't. Like, I was going through so fucking much. I think that's where like, my fucking, like, daddy issues loki come from. Because, like. Like, I still have him. That's very much like where my abandonment issues, like, stem from.

Alan Ice (23:34)

Do you feel like it affected you emotionally? Like him being in and out of your life? If so, in que manera?

Allison Lopez (Ali) (23:40)

Yes. But it was weird because, like, kind of going back to like with my parents, like when I was going through like, my coming out as like gay or whatever. At first it affected me in a sense that I didn't even know that I had these issues, you know, because like, I was feeling abandoned, but like, not like comprehending it. And then like, when I wasn't feeling love by my mom and my dad, like, I'm like, what the. Like, like that's where it was standing in. I'm like, oh my God. Like, am I really alone? Or like, do I not have anybody? Like, do I not have like a support system? Like, it was so, like, I didn't realize how much, how bad my mental health was during my development years, you know?

Alan Ice (24:21)

Did it ever get dark for you?

Allison Lopez (Ali) (24:23)

Oh yeah, like it was bad. I never like self harmed or anything, but like, I definitely like had a lot of dark thoughts. I don't even know like how to explain that part because it's like a. It's such a long memory ago and I blacked out a lot of it. But I just remember like not being all the way there when all that was going on.

Alan Ice (24:46)

When you were in eighth grade, your dad got deported. Was that your biological dad?

Allison Lopez (Ali) (24:50)

No, that was my stepdad. So technically my dad got deported twice. So once when it's. And I have to tell you the story and how you got back over here, you're gonna gag. Like we weren't there for the first one. But I remember my mom picked us up from school or like our after school program. And I remember her saying like, no. And like she's screaming like on the freeway, on the phone, like. And we're just in the back like, like, what the fuck is going on? Like, something really bad is happening right now, but like, we don't know what it is. We end up going home. And like, my dad used to work at a bank because, like, my dad got here when he was 2, so he. I don't know how the hell this happened, but he had a birth certificate that said he was born in Arizona. Oh yeah. And he had like a Social Security number and everything because he. I guess he got here when he was a baby. I don't even know how the hell that happened, but I just remember we went back home and like he wasn't. He, like, he didn't come Home from work and like my Theos and my Tias, like from his side of the family were, were there. And I'm like, what the fuck is going on? Like, or is. And my. I think I'm like 10. We thought our dad was in jail because, like, we didn't know what he did. They're like, we didn't. We thought he did. We did something bad. He ended up getting deported when I was 10. He was in Mexico for two years or a year? No, I think like a year and a half. And my mom, we would go every weekend to go see him and everything like that. And we would kind of. It was a 45 minute drive from where we were. Right. I remember when he came back, my mom had a seizure in Mexico and like, right by the border. My mom had never had seizures. Like, my mom ended up developing like, epilepsy. My mom had never had seizures. Like, she had never. Like, that's never happened to her. And the Red Cross picked up my mom and they looked at my dad and said, who are you? My dad said, I'm her husband and Le subier. And he crossed him across the border.

Alan Ice (26:36)

And they brought him here. No questions. Yeah, that's.

Allison Lopez (Ali) (26:39)

No questions asked. Like, they brought his ass over here.

Alan Ice (26:41)

And they didn't even ask, like, for documentation.

Allison Lopez (Ali) (26:47)

Literally.

Alan Ice (26:48)

That's crazy though. How was it, like, you know, that for like a whole year and a half he was in Mexico Como? Do you feel like it affected, you know, the stability of the household, the finances? Like, maybe your mom had to get a second job. How did all that play after he got deported?

Allison Lopez (Ali) (27:06)

Oh, absolutely. Like, said, my parents were never like, well, well off or anything like that. We had two incomes in the house and there was enough for us to have everything we need and like some luxuries, you know. But when that happened, like, I remember like my mom, like breaking her back for a while. Like, my mom was a one thing I was. My mom was a hustler back in the day. Like, I don't want to go too into detail, but the she did to keep our lights and our rent paid. Like, my mom made it work because. And my dad have a job. Had a job in Mexico, but like, he was also maintaining his home over there. My mom, like, was a hustle. Like, she made shit happen for my siblings and I. And like, my mom is definitely like an example of like the woman. Like, I want to be, like, as far as like, being strong and like, you know, just having that kind of head on your shoulders, you know, and being Able to keep your shit together, like, while, you know, like, everything in front of you is, like, fucking falling apart. My dad ended up coming back, and he was here up until I was, like, 14. The second time, when he got deported, was when we were able to kind of comprehend what was going on. There's music blasting in the living room. Everybody's up, everybody's cleaning, everybody's doing something. I remember this so vividly. I think we were in the living room or, like, he made us, like, sweep or I don't know what the hell we were doing. We hear a knock at the door, and then we hear a second one, and it's like, bangs. And we're like, what the Is, like, going on? Like, who's banging on the door like that? My dad opens the door, and they say, are you this person? My dad's like, yeah. Like, what are you looking? Like, what do you need? And they pull up his mug shot from when he was first deported, and it was ice. They came in like, they had guns. They had, like, the bulletproof vest. Like, they made it seem like if my dad was, like, a fucking criminal. Mind you. All of my siblings are there. My tia, who was his younger sister, was living with us at the time, was there. My mom was there. Like, we all seen our dad. Like, they didn't even let him go get a pair of shoes or, like, sweats or a jacket so that he could go and, like, dress himself and, like, turn it, like, you know, go with them, like, decently, like, exactly. My dad was in a muscle shirt and, like, fucking shorts. I just remember them, like, putting him in cuffs and, like, the shackles on the legs. And, like, it was just, like, so heartbreaking because I remember thinking, like, this is happening again, you know? And, like, mind you, my. My parents aren't criminals. Yeah, no. My dad has probably one of the cleanest records I've ever seen. And by this time, yes, I understood what was going on. So I'm like, why are they taking him? Like, this doesn't make any sense. And, like, mind you, like, my. I don't. Like, I just can't comprehend this. And, like, like, not to go off topic, but, like, this is what I mean when I say, like, okay, if you're gonna deport criminals, like, whatever, I get it. But, like, you should do background checks on the people. Like, they're. They're doing this to, like, why not offer them citizenship if they're just trying to, like, be good, you know, Citizens. Yeah, exactly. You know, And I get it. Like, whatever. Like, rules are rules, but, like, offer them solutions, don't offer them, you know.

Alan Ice (30:09)

Especially when they're, like, paying taxes. They're here contributing to the country.

Allison Lopez (Ali) (30:14)

They're being good citizens, like, you know. Yeah. Like, I just remember that being, like, so hard on my mom when that happened. And I remember, like, they called a lawyer. Like, they did everything they could to keep him here, and no one ever. They just took him. And ever since then, like, my dad's been in Mexico.

Alan Ice (30:29)

Did you guys go visit him?

Allison Lopez (Ali) (30:31)

Oh, absolutely. Like, we went back to the schedule of, like, we would go to school Monday through Friday, and then Friday night would come, or Friday afternoon would come around, we go to Mexico, and then come back on Sunday, do it all over again. And it was. It's. It was like that up until, like, we were. I think I was, like, 15.

Alan Ice (30:47)

Was that exhausting? Because I know going to Mexico must be fun, but every single week, if.

Allison Lopez (Ali) (30:52)

It was exhausting for me, I can only imagine what it was like for my mom. Yeah, Like, I know it was so tiring for her. Like. Like, I. I do not blame my mom if she ever, like, one day just said, fuck this shit. Like, it was just a lot, like, for her. And I. I know. Like, I don't even know how to explain it.

Alan Ice (31:08)

Did you ever feel, like, any type of, like, anger towards the system or just kind of, like, anger maybe towards the people that took them? Was that something in your thoughts? Like, oh, my God, I hate this shit. Like, why is this happening?

Allison Lopez (Ali) (31:20)

Do you know what's so crazy is, like, I never really looked at it that way up until now that I'm older and I'm seeing it happen.

Alan Ice (31:26)

Yeah.

Allison Lopez (Ali) (31:27)

Like, I'm seeing it happen in today, like, in society and in our country. And I'm like, this is so fucking wrong. Like, there's no fucking way, like, this is happening. Like, there's absolutely, like, no way. Like, we're in a country where people should be able to enter and, like. Like, it's the, like, the land of the fucking free. Not to be, like, fucking political and shit, but it's just so fucking sad and heartbreaking because I can relate to every single person who's going through this right now, especially, like, kids and, like, families, because, like, I experienced it firsthand, didn't know what that's like.

Alan Ice (32:00)

And it almost makes you feel like you're living in fear. Was that something that you had growing up? Because I feel like growing up, it was always something that you're, like, you don't sure that you're not from here. You don't tell anyone or. La migra. La migra con cuidado and entruchas. And I feel like even that implemented some type of fear in us as children. Was that something that you guys had growing up?

Allison Lopez (Ali) (32:20)

Honestly, yeah. And, like, we're. We're all citizens except for my dad. So, like, when he got back the first time, like, we kind of caught on to a sense of, like, maybe he's not supposed to be here, you know? So, like, we all kind of, like, had a fear of, like, what that was. Like, he would get so scared, even, like, thinking that he was gonna get pulled over for a traffic ticket. Yeah. You know, and just like that. So, like, it was.

Alan Ice (32:44)

Was.

Allison Lopez (Ali) (32:45)

Yeah, it was insane.

Alan Ice (32:46)

And I think that's like. Like you said, even with everything going on today, I feel like it's even scarier. It almost feels like we're backtracking, like, instead of in time. And it is scary. Like, even right now, like, even the holidays, like, people are scared to even drive an hour to, like, a family member's house because it's like, no sando the holidays. You know, so much is going on, and I feel like so many people are affected. What piece of advice can you give any teen, anyone watching that is currently going through something like this?

Allison Lopez (Ali) (33:19)

I don't even know if this is. Like, this is gonna sound right, but I recently was just talking to someone about this because they were going through something similar. And, like, I just remember telling them, like, it's not the end of the world. Like, I know it's really shitty because you're so used to that person being, like, a constant in your life. It's just something that's gonna take a little bit of adjusting and, like, you'll find your new normal in that situation. And as sad of a situation it is is, you know, like, you always have to find a way to make light out of something like that, you know? And it's something that's gonna take a minute to get used to, but, like, you'll find it. It's something you won't be at peace with, but it's something you'll come to terms with and almost kind of accept it at 16.

Alan Ice (34:02)

Your mom and your stepdad. So how did it happen? How did they tell you the news? How did you react? Divorcio AFFECTO A to familia and your everyday life.

Allison Lopez (Ali) (34:15)

So this is a really interesting story, and I'm gonna say it very briefly, of how the divorce happened, because, like, I don't Want to put my parents business out there like that. My mom had to go away for a little bit. We were gonna live in Mexico for like almost a year. I ended up staying here with a family friend in this. In the states to go. Cause I was in high school. All I'm gonna say is like, after a year when my mom got back, she came out of wherever she was at with a man. And it's so funny because they have such a good relationship now still, like my mom and my dad. But like, they like. I knew like, my mom was up to some too.

Alan Ice (34:55)

Yeah.

Allison Lopez (Ali) (34:55)

So like. And honestly, I'm gonna say this. I'm so glad that they split up the way that they did because, like, not to like, keep dwelling on my childhood and. But like, you know Mexicans, Okay. You experience domestic violence in a household and that becomes so normalized to you. Yep. And I'm not saying my dad used to be my mom or my. Or anything like that. They used to beat the out of each other, dude. Like, what the. Like, and like, you. That becomes your normal as a kid, you know, and like, as I'm older, I'm like, dad, that's not normal. Like, so like, yeah, now that I'm older, I'm like, yeah, thank God they got a divorce, you know, and it wasn't always like that, but they definitely had their like, fair share of like swings on each other and like machines on someone's head and like, oh, like they were like some violent ass bitches.

Alan Ice (35:48)

Did you see it come you when like, they told you guys that they were getting a divorce and how did it tell you?

Allison Lopez (Ali) (35:53)

How did it tell us, like, to say something like, when mom got back, like, she was like, yeah, you. Like, I'm like, I'm not. We had a whole ass house over there.

Alan Ice (36:06)

Yeah.

Allison Lopez (Ali) (36:06)

And like, and if considering, like, not to like, on Mexico, because I love Mexico, but like, it was a fairly nice, like, house for. Modern house for Mexico. And like, we had all of our furniture over there. We. My mom had her bedroom set. We had like our dining room table. Like our life was in Mexico.

Alan Ice (36:23)

Yeah.

Allison Lopez (Ali) (36:23)

So my mom literally like came back and said, I'm not going over there. Like, like, you can keep everything. You can do whatever the fuck you want with everything, but I'm not going back over there.

Alan Ice (36:31)

How was it like with your siblings? Obia Mente, this is their biological father. Like, did you ever feel like you had to, you know, either pick sides or kind of like explain to like your siblings, like, look, you know, how was that?

Allison Lopez (Ali) (36:43)

Not really, because we were all. Me and my siblings are two years apart. So I was 16. My other brother was 14. My other brother was 12. So we kind of were old enough to kind of understand already, like, what was going on. And I don't think any. I think my sister might have taken it a little hard, but I think now that, like, we're older or she's. Now she got older, she kind of understood to, like, yeah, this isn't healthy. So, like, we. We kind of. I don't think we ever really struggled with our parents kind of separating. If. I mean, like, I. I think we were good.

Alan Ice (37:15)

Like, if anything, it was more of, like, a relief. Like, at least we don't have to, like. Like, hear them fight.

Allison Lopez (Ali) (37:20)

Yes and no. Because my parents weren't always fighting. Like, they had a decent marriage, but at the same time, it's like, we kind of knew, too. Like, they were both up on their own ends, you know, like, individually. Like, we just knew. Like, it doesn't make sense for them to be together anyway. So, like, whatever.

Alan Ice (37:37)

Did that change your view in the way you see relationships now? Like, maybe you're like, no, pues. My biological dad and my mom never made it, and then my mom got remarried. No. Did that ever change the way you saw relationships? Like, not everything is forever, honestly.

Allison Lopez (Ali) (37:52)

No. Not really. At least, like, not in my dating life. That. Which is, like, well, something we'll jump into right now. But it's, like, weird. It's like, I very much like. What's the word? When you romanticize things? I think that's the word. Yeah, I just romanticize everything. So I'm like. I. Like, even if that's their normal, like, I don't think I would let that be my normal. Me and my cousin, we very much have, like, it set in stone on our head that we're not gonna make the same. Or. Not that we're not. But we're gonna do everything in our power to not make the same mistakes that our parents did.

Alan Ice (38:26)

And I feel like that's the best way to look at it. Like, you can, you know, instead of, like, making it like a. Oh, like, I'm never gonna find love and it's your fault.

Allison Lopez (Ali) (38:34)

Yeah. You made me like this.

Alan Ice (38:36)

You guys didn't show me what real love was. You guys made it more of, like, you know what? I'm gonna take what I saw and what I know isn't okay, and I'm gonna shift that to, like, what I want in my life. Eso no lo quiero.

Allison Lopez (Ali) (38:47)

You know.

Monet X Change (38:49)

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Allison Lopez (Ali) (40:16)

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Alan Ice (41:08)

Phew.

Allison Lopez (Ali) (41:09)

Find a Marshall's near you.

Alan Ice (41:12)

Quiero flatincar un fokito mas about your coming out story. Cuenta nos poquito mas es. So when was the first moment growing up that you realized you were a little different than like maybe all the boys around you? What was like your Gay awakening moment. Like, como ties Cuenta queras differente.

Allison Lopez (Ali) (41:28)

Okay. I don't even think I had, like, a thought. Like, I never. Like, I, like, always thought I was a growing up. Let's put it that way. I've always thought I was a bitch. Like, I always had towels over my hair. Like, this is gonna sound so bad. So one of my family members that I was always seeing over her house. It's just one of my tias. Like, Like. Like older tias, not like my mom's siblings. She was. I don't. I want to say she was a stripper, but she also could have been a bartender.

Alan Ice (41:58)

You're like, I want to be just like her.

Allison Lopez (Ali) (42:01)

Idolized her. And it's because she. So she had these, like, mini skirts and she had her stripper shoes, like, you know, like the. The pleasers.

Alan Ice (42:09)

Yeah.

Allison Lopez (Ali) (42:09)

And I would walk around her house in a mini skirt and pleasers, and I would have Destiny's Child on full blast. You're all running the Runway.

Alan Ice (42:23)

Correcto.

Allison Lopez (Ali) (42:24)

And my. She was like this. She. My t. She's like a. A white lady. Cuz she. She's my. She's my Theo's wife. Okay, okay, okay. Yeah. Or ex wife. She would let me, and she was like this, like, tall, skinny, like, long blonde hair, big old fake boobs.

Alan Ice (42:41)

Makeup done.

Allison Lopez (Ali) (42:42)

Yes, makeup done. Like, skinny, petite, no ass. Like, you know, like the. Like the early 2000s. She was literally like my Paris Hilton to me. Me. So, like, when I was just dressing up in her clothes, she's like, yes. Like, I know that's right. Like, I, like, do whatever the.

Alan Ice (42:57)

Like, I want to be just like you.

Allison Lopez (Ali) (43:00)

Yes.

Alan Ice (43:00)

What was it like, you know, growing up with those feelings? You knew you were a little bit different. Was there moments where you would try to suppress those feelings? Like, oh, my God, you know, you said you were growing up in a religious household. You're like, oh, my God, I can't be out. You know? And at what moment did you realize what those feelings were?

Allison Lopez (Ali) (43:16)

It's so crazy because I didn't start feeling those feelings until we started going to church. And, like, all that happened. I don't know what the switch was. Okay, so I technically came out twice because he once says gay and one says trans. So I discovered what trans was when I was about, like, 16, 17, and I had followed, like, Gigi Gorgeous, like, Princess Jules. Like, I had, like, my. And Elena Genevievene and, like, oh, my.

Alan Ice (43:41)

God, I love Elaine.

Allison Lopez (Ali) (43:42)

You remember when I.

Alan Ice (43:43)

Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes. The John.

Allison Lopez (Ali) (43:46)

Yes, yes, yes. Oh, My God, I love that. I love her. I remember when I watched that video, like a spark.

Alan Ice (43:54)

She even had a friend, Diamond.

Allison Lopez (Ali) (43:56)

Remember?

Alan Ice (43:58)

Yes, yes, yes.

Allison Lopez (Ali) (43:59)

Dude. Like, they were like my like awakening.

Alan Ice (44:03)

Yeah.

Allison Lopez (Ali) (44:03)

And I remember thinking like, oh my God. Cuz I was already around with makeup. So like, imagine me finding out that there's people out there who are like me.

Alan Ice (44:11)

Yeah.

Allison Lopez (Ali) (44:11)

And I remember I was so fucking gagged and because I think me and her about the same age.

Alan Ice (44:17)

Yeah.

Allison Lopez (Ali) (44:17)

So I was like, oh my God. Like I found like this whole new world as I got a little older. I'm like, okay, so this is what trans means. And I'm like, I finally have a word for it. I finally like got the fucking. And like, I fucking went to school in like, I guess drag or like whatever it was. But I was, I was like fully like female presenting in high school.

Alan Ice (44:37)

But you had already came out as gay prior to that.

Allison Lopez (Ali) (44:39)

Yeah, I was already came out.

Alan Ice (44:40)

How did that go? How did you tell your parents and how did they react to that?

Allison Lopez (Ali) (44:42)

Okay, so when I was gay, it was when my dad found out I was doing makeup. Okay. And then that's when, that's when like I got grounded and all that other bullshit. So when the make, when the hair and the makeup and female presenting started happening, I. What I was doing was I would get to school like hella fucking early and there was a Starbucks by my high school. And I remember I would always ditch first period. I never went to first period and that, like, it was so bad. Don't. Don't ditch school, guys. I would literally ditch first period and I would go to the Starbucks and I would do my full hair and makeup and I remember I made one of my tias. I made like a lace front wig and I would wear it to school and I was so sickening.

Alan Ice (45:18)

Would you get stairs or like.

Allison Lopez (Ali) (45:20)

Oh, like when I say, like I did not care about like what anybody thought about me. And honestly I think it's because I was bullied like hell in middle school. Okay. But when I got to high school, I just stopped caring. Like, I really just stopped caring. And then I remember I like, I would go to school, female presenting. And then when I would go home or right before I was about to go home, I'd go back to Starbucks, wash all my makeup, kind of fix my hair a little bit. And then.

Alan Ice (45:46)

So you would be living like a double life.

Allison Lopez (Ali) (45:49)

No.

Alan Ice (45:49)

What was the first moment they ever saw you, like, as a female?

Allison Lopez (Ali) (45:53)

It's so weird because it's in the timeline of where my mom had to go away for a little bit. I ended up having a go to, like, I think it was like, a charter school because I had to do credit recovery my sophomore year of high school. I was planning on living in Mexico and crossing the border to go to high school like, every single day. And I remember my mom was go pick up my transcripts. The lady in the front desk told her, like, oh, my God. Like, she or he hasn't been wearing his hair and makeup every day. Like, or recently. Like, why? Like, why hasn't she done it? Like, she's so much more confident. Or you can just tell she's, like, a happier person. And, like, when she does that, like, why, like, does she run out of makeup? What the fuck's going on?

Alan Ice (46:28)

Like, are you not providing more makeup?

Allison Lopez (Ali) (46:30)

And I remember my mom being like, what the fuck did you just say?

Alan Ice (46:33)

Like, confused?

Allison Lopez (Ali) (46:34)

Yes, like, confused as fuck. I'm pretty sure she's probably just more confused. Like, where the fuck is, like, finding the time to do this shit, like, behind my back? At first my parents, like, acknowledged it, but they didn't give me, like, the shit that I was expecting. And they basically just told me, like, I need to focus on school and, like, I shouldn't be worrying about things like that. Like, I should probably basically just get my priorities straight when it comes to certain things before I do anything. So in my head, I'm like, are they okay with it?

Alan Ice (47:02)

Like, you're not mad?

Allison Lopez (Ali) (47:04)

Yeah, at first I was like, I was kind of weirded out because they knew that I had. At this point, they already know that I have makeup. Like, I'm building my collection, like, slowly because my Tiaz used to shoplift from Sephora and they used to give me everything. They didn't really tell me shit. And then my mom had to go away when I came over here to the States because I ended up moving back to Tucson to go to school here and everything like that. I was, like, thriving because I'm like, okay, my dad knows I brought my makeup with me. So I'm just thinking, I got away with it. They're cool with it. I'm going to school as Ali. I'm in the fucking clear. So then my mom kind of gets wind that I'm going to school fully female presenting, and she flips the fuck out on me. And I'm like, okay, well, I mean, how could she not trust me to do the right thing? Like, all that bullshit, you know? Like, I don't. I don't even want to get Too much into detail about it, just because it's like, you can only fucking imagine. You know, I see my mom when she finally comes back, and I think it's like the ending of my junior year of high school and we get into like this fucking blow up argument. And this is the first time I see her. Mind you, this should be like a really happy time because it's the first time me seeing her in almost a year. You would think I'd be happy, but, like, it was so ugly and nasty. And like, I remember I called. I think I called my mom a bitch. And, like, you just should never do that. Obviously. Like, I completely respect my parents and I would never do that now, but I called my mom a bitch. I just remember her saying, like, the most nastiest, like, meanest things you could ever say to your kid. And, like, I don't even know, like, how I recovered from that.

Alan Ice (48:45)

Which did that affect you?

Allison Lopez (Ali) (48:47)

Oh, absolutely. Like, I. I'm gonna keep it a bug. Like, I fucking hated my parents. Like, from the ages of like 16 to, like 21. Like, I hated, hated, hated my parents. Like, I literally, the second that I turned 18, Ellen, like, I remember I moved out and I was literally basically like, couch surfing. I finally found, like, a stable place and for like a year, yeah, I didn't speak to my parents, like, at all, including my dad.

Alan Ice (49:15)

What was the turning point that made the relationship with your parents get better?

Allison Lopez (Ali) (49:20)

I didn't start fully transitioning until I was, like, about to turn 19. Because I remember, like, I. Not that. I mean, I was already, like, out of the house, but, like, I was still scared, like, of how, like, I was gonna be treated or like, I don't know what it was that I was scared of. Honestly, like, I just remember being, like, in fear. There was like a switch because I remember my hair was already like, to like, right. It was like, to like, right below my shoulder. I think I like, bought like, some fucking bellamy clip ins. And I was like, you know what? Like, let's do it. Let's do it. My hair is long enough. I feel kind of passable. Like, I think I can do it.

Alan Ice (49:59)

What was it like coming up with an out?

Allison Lopez (Ali) (50:01)

It was amazing. You know what's so crazy? You know how I came up with my name? I have the biggest crush on the guy. Max in hocus pocus.

Alan Ice (50:06)

Okay?

Allison Lopez (Ali) (50:07)

So I was like, oh, my God, I want a boyfriend named Max. Like, I have to be Alison.

Alan Ice (50:10)

What was it like with the pronouns? Because I feel like that's one of the biggest struggles that I feel, like trans women go through. I feel like people are either purposely, like, saying the wrong pronoun. What was it like when you finally came out? You're like, you know what? I go by Ali, not Raymundo. How was that?

Allison Lopez (Ali) (50:25)

I don't want to say it was a struggle, because I remember, like, being, like, a little, like, what the fuck? Sometimes, but I don't remember it, like, really, like, bothering me, because I remember at the time, too, like, when I was. When I was with my family, because I was with family as well. They kind of already, like, were referring to me as, like, she, her. Because I was already, like, basically, like. I don't know how to explain it, but, like, I just looked like a really ugly girl before I transitioned, which no one's ugly. But, like, in my eyes, like, I felt like I was ugly because, like, my hair was long and, like, I was, like, kind of dressing feminine. Yeah, like, I was kind of dressing feminine already. So, like, when I fully decided to make the switch, I don't think. I don't. I don't remember it being such a struggle. Struggle. Yeah. But, like, I remember, like, just having that switch in my head where it was like, okay, yeah, I. I remember texting my friends and, like, certain values, like, hey, like, I don't go by Ray anymore. I go by Ali. Like, I want to go by Ali is full time.

Alan Ice (51:25)

What was it like with the hormones? You know, how did you go about, you know, to get the hormones? How do you feel?

Allison Lopez (Ali) (51:30)

Like Mexico.

Alan Ice (51:31)

You went to Mexico? Did you feel like, a shift in you?

Allison Lopez (Ali) (51:35)

Yeah, I don't. I remember being, like, super emotional, and, like, I remember. Oh, my God, did I know something funny? Yes. I remember, like, mind you, this is like, pre. Like, before I finally decided. I was thinking, like, six. I was in high school still. My friends used to give me their birth control because it had estrogen in it, and I would take birth control in high school.

Alan Ice (51:54)

You're like, I'm on hormones.

Allison Lopez (Ali) (51:56)

No, baby, you're on birth control. Proud, like, in my, like, thyroid with my hormones.

Alan Ice (52:05)

Killing yourself from the inside out.

Allison Lopez (Ali) (52:07)

Like, killing myself, basically. But I remember I felt so cut.

Alan Ice (52:11)

Like, did you at least feel like they did something to you?

Allison Lopez (Ali) (52:13)

I don't even know if they. I'd like to think that they did, but I. I genuinely have no clue. But it was when I, like, got on the Mexican hormones where I was like, okay, it's. It's. I'm seeing a really big difference.

Alan Ice (52:24)

What changes?

Allison Lopez (Ali) (52:25)

It just started seeing. I remember Seeing it in my skin and then, like, in my hair and then. And I started getting, like little knots in my chest and I was like, what the fuck is this, dude? I thought I had like a. Like a. You know how like, when people find, like, lumps in their chest and then like, it's scared. I'm like. Like cancer. Yeah. And my dumb. Must sound like WebMD. And they're like, oh, no, girl, that's like your breast tissue.

Alan Ice (52:44)

I'm like, okay, I'm getting titties.

Allison Lopez (Ali) (52:47)

Yes. I'm getting titties. And then fucking. I just, like, a lot of people say they get like, super emotional and I was. And then, like, it was like a up and down thing. Yeah. I just remember being like, really happy in the.

Alan Ice (53:00)

Was that very affirming for you? Absolutely. Having this childhood and always knowing you were different and then finally, like, living in your truth. Was that affirming?

Allison Lopez (Ali) (53:08)

Yes. I remember when I made my first Fashion Nova order of all girl clothes and I was gagged. I was like, oh, this is sickening. I love it. And I just remember being so happy, you know, Like, I was just like, oh, my God. Like, I'm like myself. I finally feel comfortable enough in my skin, like, to. I don't know. I don't even know how to explain it. I finally feel like, like comfortable in my skin.

Alan Ice (53:32)

I love it.

Allison Lopez (Ali) (53:33)

Yeah. Like, I don't know what the fuck it was. And then it's funny too, because when I finally. You would think that, like, when I decided to reconcile with my parents, that, like, I would be a little more reserved. Like, I wouldn't really care. Like, not that I really wouldn't care, but, like, that would be a little more like, I like, suppressed it. So I had to fucking. I ended up moving in with my grandma when I was like 20, 21, 22 ish. My mom was there. And I remember when I was moving in my stuff, I walked in, I had, like, hair down to my ass. I was in a sports bra and I was in little biker shorts. And like, I. And I remember her looking at me and like, it wasn't bad, but it. It was just awkward. Yeah. And I. But I didn't care.

Alan Ice (54:16)

Like, she was looking at you, like, observing.

Allison Lopez (Ali) (54:17)

Like. Yeah.

Alan Ice (54:18)

You looked and everything.

Allison Lopez (Ali) (54:19)

Like.

Alan Ice (54:20)

Yeah.

Allison Lopez (Ali) (54:24)

No, literally. It was literally that. That's like, that's what I think it was. Like, I just stopped caring what people thought, you know, especially when it came to my parents or my siblings or, like, friends or anything. Like, I genuinely just stopped giving a. I love that and, like, I still have that mentality towards this day. And I feel like that attitude is what contributes to my success in social media. Because a lot of people think, like, oh, do you think she's faking it? Or, oh, my God, no, she probably cries behind closed doors and blah, blah, blah. Like, no, if you guys really only knew. Like, I went through hell and back to have the fucking confidence that I do. And, like, that's genuinely why it's so unshakable. Like, that's genuinely where I get my confidence from. It's like, I don't give a fuck. Like, who are you? Like, to have. Go ahead and have your opinion, but I'm not gonna care.

Alan Ice (55:13)

That comes a lot with, you know, having all these feelings suppressed for so long. And when you're finally, like, living, living free and you're finally living for yourself and for your future and, like, what you love, it turns to a point that you're like, you know, I'm happy with myself, with the decisions I'm making and with who I'm choosing to live as. You know, what was it like dating as a trans woman? Do you, straight off the bat, you tell them, like, hey, you know I'm trans, or do you save it for later? How's all that?

Allison Lopez (Ali) (55:44)

I think before I got my platform, I definitely had to, like, explain myself to guys. Like, obviously, like, I would. I mean, in my head, like, I don't think I'm, like, a fucking passable ass bitch, where I'm, like, sickening. I mean, I know I'm sickening, but, like, I don't think, like, I am. I even hate to say this word, like, I don't think I'm a brick.

Alan Ice (56:01)

A what?

Allison Lopez (Ali) (56:01)

Like a brick.

Alan Ice (56:02)

What's that?

Allison Lopez (Ali) (56:03)

It's like when you can like, basically, like a man in a wig. Oh, you know what I mean? Like, that's the best way I could explain it to be, like, nice, which, I mean, shout out to the bricks because they'd be getting their bags and they'd be making the most money. I think I have, like, very feminine appearance where I think I did have to explain myself because some people weren't picking it up. But now that I have my platform, it's like, a lot of people kind of already know who I am. Yeah. So, like, they kind of know that I'm trans already.

Alan Ice (56:26)

So it's made it easier.

Allison Lopez (Ali) (56:27)

Yeah, it's kind of made it easier in that aspect. But there are still some people who have no idea that I'm trans.

Alan Ice (56:31)

What's like the craziest, like, dating story you have.

Allison Lopez (Ali) (56:34)

Dating.

Alan Ice (56:35)

As a trans woman, I don't think.

Allison Lopez (Ali) (56:36)

I have anything, like, crazy. But I remember being, like, so gagged when, like, like, guys I went to, like, high school with were like, oh, my God, like, blah, blah, blah. Yeah, I wear the pendeja cone. I would get myself in a shit that I shouldn't have been. But I remember being like. So I'm like, oh, my God. I finally have, like, their approval and blah, blah, blah. Like, now that I'm older, I'm like, oh, you're such a dumb bitch. Like, you shouldn't fuck y'.

Alan Ice (56:59)

All. Yeah, literally.

Allison Lopez (Ali) (57:00)

I'm like, al, you're so fucking stupid for even entertaining that.

Alan Ice (57:04)

But it's the adrenaline of it. Like, oh, bitch, you hated me and now you want me.

Allison Lopez (Ali) (57:08)

That's right. Exactly. That's exactly what I wanted. Like, I'm talking, like, they were in sports. They were, you know, in wrestling, or they were. Like, everybody knew that they were the biggest fucking boys in school. And, like, they got all the girls and all that, you know? And I'm like, oh, now you. Like, now all of a sudden, like, what happened when you're giving, like, death stares in the hallway?

Alan Ice (57:32)

What happened to the fat ass?

Allison Lopez (Ali) (57:33)

Yeah, exactly.

Alan Ice (57:35)

I'm like, The people that talk the most shit about, like, sexuality or about, like, gay people, those are the people that are, like, even closeted, dude.

Allison Lopez (Ali) (57:47)

And you know what's so crazy is I always tell my friends, I'm like, you know what? It's the guys who are so comfortable enough in their skin to, like, basically, like, come and fucking dry hump you and, like, that are so comfortable enough in their skin to, like, make, like, jokes like that or to be comfortable enough around you because they. They know who they are. Yeah. You know, and they don't care what you are, but it's the guys who have an opinion, who are, like, a little too quiet around you or, like, act, like, kind of weird towards you, like, who are clearly fucking hiding something and are honestly, like, the fucking freakiest. Like, yeah, it's bad. But I think right now, like, for me, dating, it's so weird. Like, I don't know how to explain it. Like, I'm definitely right now, like, in a situation where it's, like, when it comes to men, where I'm just like, I refuse to let anybody waste my time anymore.

Alan Ice (58:33)

Yeah.

Allison Lopez (Ali) (58:33)

You know, and if, like, I. I'm not a slut, but, like, I enjoy a hookup from, like, here to there. Like, who doesn't this isn't it sound like so, like, raunchy to say was he like, you're down to fuck or like. Or like we're going to talk or like we're going to get to know each other, like, whatever. Like, just be upfront. Like, I hate having my time wasted. I hate, like, you know, like, I hate just. I just hate having my fucking time.

Alan Ice (58:56)

Like, if you just want to fuck, let me know. We'll just fuck.

Allison Lopez (Ali) (58:58)

Yeah, exactly. And if you want to get to know me, don't fucking bullshit me. Yeah, that' I hate, like, don't bullshit me into like a fantasy and then me never hear from you again. Like, I hate that as it happened or does happened to me a lot when I was younger. Like, for sure, not a lot. Like, like a couple times. Yeah. And I think, like, the last time I have to was like, maybe like a year and a half, almost two years ago. And like, something just like clicked in my head where it's like, you know what? Like, I'm going to use the fuck out of these men. And that probably sounds so bad to say, but it's like, I really, really don't care. Exactly. Like, but like, why not get something out of it? So, like, now I'm very much like, it's so funny because, like, I would this literally I have to tell you a story, like, to add on to this. I'm gonna use this as an example. And like, how I. Because it just literally just happened. So I was in Miami last week and I posted on my story, like, oh, my God, I wish a daddy would, like, come pick me up in a convertible and put me in Chanel. Literally, dude, the next day I had a Chanel bag and it's very much saying, like, un hombre. Like, if he wants to, he will.

Alan Ice (60:08)

He will.

Allison Lopez (Ali) (60:09)

Exactly. No, exactly. If a motherfucker wants to, he will do it. And if they don't say, like, put me in channel, like, okay, I want money. I want 1500. Yeah, give me money. And it's not necessarily to say that I want the money. It's just I want to skip the. And actually see if you're like, like bullshitting me because. Oh, and bullshitting in a sense where I'm like, this is another thing that happens too. I feel like I get a lot of attention from guys now too. But it's not for the reasons that they're interested in dating. It's because they want the attention that I have. And it's not even necessarily, like, cloud chasing. It's because for the example that I work with all these male streamers, and I'm more than sure they look up to them, you know, which is good for them. You know, I'm not. Like, they want you to bring them along. Exactly. You know, so it's very different. Like, I. I hate, like, feeling like I'm getting played for that reason, because that's happened to me twice already, and I've never public. I'm not one to really, like, share, like, with my dating life in general, honestly, like, especially, like, who my partner is at the time or whatever. Like, I like to live a very private life when it comes to intimate stuff. And then, like, when I'm ready, I'll probably share it. But with that being said, I'm also like, like, why are you so, like. Like, why are you so, like, desperate to, like. Yeah. Like, I don't know how to explain it. Like, it's just. It's such an ugly feeling because you feel like you're being used for the wrong reasons. Yeah. Do you know what I mean?

Alan Ice (61:29)

Do you feel like it's gotten worse? You mention it? Because of the streaming and the attention you got now? Do you feel like it's gotten to a point where, like, you yourself, you're like, you know what? I don't even know if these guys genuinely want.

Allison Lopez (Ali) (61:41)

That's why I asked for a bag or my money. Yeah, that's literally why I asked for a bag of money, because I'm like, I don't know what it is you want. So you're gonna give me this before I even entertain it, period.

Alan Ice (61:49)

That's good, though, because it's very much like, see? Did you get the convertible too, or.

Allison Lopez (Ali) (62:00)

No, I didn't get. I got it right in a convertible. I didn't get a convertible.

Alan Ice (62:09)

Like, sugar daddies. Have you had a sugar?

Allison Lopez (Ali) (62:12)

I've had my fair share. I'm not going to lie. I'd be lying if I said I didn't. But, like, I. I get, like, not, like, grossed out, but, like, I get, like, really annoyed, and I'm like, if I don't want to do something, I'm not going to do it. Why?

Alan Ice (62:27)

Like, why do you get annoyed or grossed out?

Allison Lopez (Ali) (62:29)

Oh, I don't know how to explain. Not that, like, I feel grossed out doing it. It's just like, I get grossed out by the person.

Alan Ice (62:35)

Oh, okay, okay.

Allison Lopez (Ali) (62:37)

You're like.

Alan Ice (62:40)

Literally, I' more of, like, no sugar.

Allison Lopez (Ali) (62:42)

Yeah, exactly. Like, and maybe if they're, like, sexy, like, who cares? But, like, there's just sometime I'm like, okay, yeah, I can't do this.

Alan Ice (62:50)

You're like, I gotta leave this. Give it back, though.

Allison Lopez (Ali) (62:54)

Like, send me my dial transaction first, please.

Alan Ice (62:56)

I've heard that a lot of sugar daddies, they don't even look too much for, like, the actual, like, you know, sex. A lot of them just want you to give them, like, your time.

Allison Lopez (Ali) (63:05)

Right. It's literally companionship.

Alan Ice (63:06)

Yeah. How do you feel about that? Like, when you get a guy, you're like, yeah, like, I don't even gotta do shit.

Allison Lopez (Ali) (63:11)

I'm in there. Like, swimwear. Like, let me fucking tell you. Like, I. I mean, I do feel bad, but at the end of the day, it's like, they know what they're getting themselves into as well.

Alan Ice (63:19)

Like, exactly. I feel like sugar daddies know what. Like, they know what they're doing. I've heard a lot of stories where they put you. Like, oh, but if I'm gonna do this, you gotta do that.

Allison Lopez (Ali) (63:33)

Definitely, like, rules. Like, I've definitely had, like, a daddy or two where it's like, they, like. Like, what is it? Where they place, like, rules, like, on me?

Alan Ice (63:41)

What's, like, the craziest rule you've got in place?

Allison Lopez (Ali) (63:43)

When I had, like, my location, I remember for, like, a year or two. And then, like, I remember I wasn't allowed to post with men or, like, be around men unless it was, like, family. But he used to cash me out so good. I don't even think anything. Like, too. Too crazy. But it was like, shit. Like, it was, like, possessiveness almost.

Alan Ice (64:04)

Do you feel like right now you just have, like, your little flings or you're just more focused on the bag?

Allison Lopez (Ali) (64:09)

Mehong. Oh, I definitely have my flings right now, but. Okay, okay. So, like, I was telling you, like, earlier when I walked in, I was like, kind of like. Because, like, I met this guy, which he is, like, one of the most sexiest fucking men I've ever seen in la. And I really don't be, like, scouting for men out here like that, but if they come across, like, that's fine, too. Cause I'm in Arizona, you know? Like, it's not gonna work out, you know? And he was so fucking sweet, Alan. Like, he called me, like, okay, that doesn't happen. So I was at a party, and he comes up to us and he's like, can I get it? Like, he's a photographer. He's like, can I get a picture? He's like, yeah, like, of course. And we make conversation. He's such a gentleman. Like, so sweet. And then I'm with my friend, and my friend's like, give her a kiss on the cheek. And he does it. And I'm like, okay. And then he's like, like, dude, I would have been so gagged. And then he's like, oh, can I get you a drink? Can I get you something and. Or. No, no, you asked me. He's like, can he come get a drink with me? I was like, can you just bring me one instead? Like, I don't want to leave my friend alone because, like, me too. Like, I'm like, can you just get me one? Like, I definitely know how to, like, princess.

Alan Ice (65:14)

I'm a princess, bitch.

Allison Lopez (Ali) (65:15)

Yeah, exactly. Like, I know how to work my way with men, especially when it comes to getting princess treatment. So fudgeing. He goes and gets my drink. And then he comes back, he's already talking. We exchange Instagrams. And, like, he is so fucking sweet, Alan. Like, I don't. Like, there's no way to explain. Like, he was just such a gentleman. And then we go back inside. There are, like, the fucking cops get there, everybody leaves. And then there's like, an after party inside the house. And we go in there and he's there, and I'm like, okay. Like, and I kind of just letting him, like, do his thing. Like, I don't want to be like, encimosa. Yeah, I don't really. Like, he's with other girls. I'm like, okay, like, whatever. Like, I'm gonna let him do his thing. Like, I know I have this in the back. He ends up, like, fucking getting me ice cream. Like, we're talking, whatever. And then, like, one of his friends makes, like, a weird pass of my friend. And, like, he's, like, apologizing for him. Like, just all that goes, you know? So then the end of the party happens or whatever, and I'm leaving and I get a text saying, or a message, a DM on Instagram. Like, oh, hey, babe. Like, let me know when you get home. And I'm like, oh. Like, you're like, okay. Yeah. Like, okay. Like, where's this going? So I'm like, yeah. Like, I'm on my way already. Like, I just left, like, because he left before me and whatever. So, like, we're talking through DM and he's like, I really want to see you again. Like, when do you leave? I was like, oh. Like, I leave in the morning. Whatever, you know? And we're kind of DMing back and forth. And, like, he's very much, like, flirting And I'm like, okay, like, this man, Dude, Alan, when I say this man.

Alan Ice (66:38)

Is so sexy, like, what do you mean?

Allison Lopez (Ali) (66:41)

Like, he was like, no, like, you. Like, I don't explain it. Like, he's just so fine, Alan. Like, I fold.

Alan Ice (66:47)

So you're like, literally.

Allison Lopez (Ali) (66:48)

Yes, yes, dude, like, gave it to me. I was so chony way. Like, oh, my God. So long story short, like, we're texting on and off, and then I end up back in LA this week. And then he said he and I reaching out to him, like, hey, like, I'm in town. Like, whatever. He's like, okay, yeah, like, let's go grab coffee. Like, let's go do something. Like, okay, like, whatever. And then, like, I didn't hear from him, and I was like, hey, like, if it's too late, like, do you want to come over? Like, we'll watch a movie. Like. Like, I have, like, my place here or whatever. He ends up telling me, like, I guess that he was busy with work, which. Whatever. And then. Then today, actually, like, literally today, he must be like, hey, like, I have a meeting later in the Valley, but I don't mind driving you to your podcast and, like, waiting there for, you know, we can drive back as well, just so, like, we can spend a little time together. I'm like, oh, like, that's so.

Alan Ice (67:35)

Yeah, that is super cute.

Allison Lopez (Ali) (67:37)

Yeah, he's so cute. And, like, he has, like, all the pet names for me. And then, like, literally, like, I told him, like, hey, like, I have to leave here by 1:50. He's like, okay, there's a little bit of traffic too, but I'll get there, like, maybe around 10, too. I was like, okay. Hits me with, oh, hey. Like, I just want to be clear, like, this is simply just a friendship thing. And it's nothing romantic. Like, I just think you're an interesting person that I want to get to know. And, like, I'm so fascinated by you and blah, blah, blah. And, like, I just want to make sure that we're both on the same page. And I'm like, dude, I mind you. I'm in the best mood ever. I'm, like, fucking bumping Zara Larson. I'm, like, fucking doing hair flips. Like, I'm already doing my final touches. Like, I'm putting perfume on, like, throwing on my necklace. Like, I'm, like, fudgeing, like, gagged already that I'm going to see this guy. And then I'm going to come over here. Yeah. And then I see the message and I'm like, no fucking way.

Alan Ice (68:24)

Like, and it's like, what do you mean you're so fascinated?

Allison Lopez (Ali) (68:28)

Exactly. Like, am I a fucking circus or something? Which, like, I already know they're going to clip the fuck out of that just said that. But, like, I'm not a fucking circus. Like, I'm not like some fucking amusement park that you get to, like, experience and get to know and then, like, dispose of me. Like, yeah, what the. Like, what the fuck? So I literally just hit him back with like, oh, well, I definitely misinterpreted that because, like, I. Like, it was with all the pet names and like, I genuinely had interest in you and blah, blah, blah. And like, etc. I wrote him like a paragraph and then he was like, oh, like, I just hope that, like. Like, do you still want me to take you? Like, Like, I hope you're comfortable enough with us being friends or whatever. I'm like, honestly, like, I'll just get a car. Like, it's completely fine. It's not that deep, whatever. And then he's like, oh, well, I just hope that in the future, like, you're more comfortable enough being around me where, like, if we see each other at parties, like, our friends can merge and whatever the. Because I'm sorry. Like, respectfully, like, I'm friends with some bad. And, like, bad. And I'm like, now that I know exactly what the you're trying to get at. And I'm. You're.

Alan Ice (69:25)

No, he was trying to be, like, nice to you to, like, get him.

Allison Lopez (Ali) (69:27)

Into the friend group. Yeah.

Alan Ice (69:29)

Or like, to get like, the kick in the door.

Allison Lopez (Ali) (69:31)

Exactly.

Alan Ice (69:33)

That's crazy.

Allison Lopez (Ali) (69:34)

And I'm like, that's exactly what it felt like. And I was like, you know what? Like, like this. Like, I'll literally just get a car. And then he ends up sending me some other messages. And I just, like, I. I don't even think I like the message. I know I liked it and I unliked it and I was like, whatever.

Alan Ice (69:46)

So you feel like you're done with him?

Allison Lopez (Ali) (69:50)

He's so beautiful, Alan. Like, I don't even know how to explain it.

Alan Ice (69:54)

Like, what if he texts you right now? He's like, you know what? I actually do want something romantic.

Allison Lopez (Ali) (69:59)

Honestly. No, it's being so serious. Like, I need to show you his Instagram right now.

Alan Ice (70:04)

Like, I need to see.

Allison Lopez (Ali) (70:06)

And he's up. He's Israeli, so he has, like, such an accent. I was eating it up, you know, And I'm just like, oh, okay. Like, it is what it is. Like, I'm I just need to snap out of it.

Alan Ice (70:18)

I feel like eventually you'll find someone that really does love you for you, you know?

Allison Lopez (Ali) (70:23)

Oh, I have another guy. Oh, another.

Alan Ice (70:29)

I'm so sorry to have. I just think that's just one of me. What's the other guy? What's the story of him, the other guy?

Allison Lopez (Ali) (70:36)

Okay, so I was being a ring girl in. In Nashville, and I, like, I rarely ever go through my DMs, honestly, but I was like, you know what? I'm just curious. I'm gonna go through my story replies. So this other, you know, he kind of reminds me of, like, the guy from 365. Okay. Like, he definitely gives that. Like, we're talking. And, like, it's very much, like, flirty. Like, he's so sexy. Alan. I don't even know how to. I get, like, nervous talking because, like, we're still talking. Long story short, like, we're talking for all those weeks or whatever. I was a ring girl in Nashville, like, in October. I end up coming over here and like. Like. Like another example again. Like, he's such a fucking gentleman. Like, we didn't even kiss the first night. Honestly, like, it was. He was so fucking sweet. Even, like, through the DMs, like, I can tell. Like, he, like. Like, it was good. Like, you know, when something kind of, like, is about to lead into texting, I'm like, no, I can't do that. Like.

Alan Ice (71:27)

Like sending little messages with double meaning.

Allison Lopez (Ali) (71:30)

Like, type shit. Like, very. That, that.

Alan Ice (71:32)

So then he's like, are you going to come? And it's all spelled C. No, literally.

Allison Lopez (Ali) (71:36)

Like, you know what you're doing. No. Basically, he's like, ah. So it is like, no, like, I. Not that. You know, say, I see, like, blah, blah, blah. So then I end up coming to la. Like, I finally, like, meet him. Like. Like in real life. I invite him over and. Which it's kind of, like, scary. I shouldn't be doing, like, that. Yeah. But I ended up inviting him over. He's so. Like, the chemistry is definitely there. Like, I, like, actually, like, fucking adore him. And then we go on a. We go on a second day. Like, he took it to his work event. And then I can tell that. I feel like his friends definitely knew that I was coming because, like, they were making things like. Oh, like, I like shit like that, you know? And then, like, a little situation happens. Like, after. Mind you, this is like. Like the. Like, it's so good. Like, he's so sweet. This girl walks in and she Says he tells me that she's a family friend. And I'm like, okay. And then she meets me. And then, like, while she's talking to me, she's like, on her friend. Like, I don't know how to explain it, like, talking down on her friend. And I'm like, wait, like, isn't this, like, your friend? Like, like, what the. Yeah, like, why are you on him like that? And then she's like, oh, you're too good for him. Like, what the are you doing with him? Like, blah, blah, blah, blah. You know? And mind you, like, I'm not to. Like, I'm. I mean, I'm sure he's well off or whatever, but, like, I didn't jump into this, like, going, like, for his money or anything like that. That's. That's something that's not. I'm not doing. I'm like, okay. So that happens. And then to cut the story short, we go to. We get in his car, and he drives me back to my Airbnb. You know how with Apple carplay, like, messages come through? They come up. Yes. So I end up hearing, oh, you're. She's like, I know you're with that fucking bitch. How fucking dare you bring her around me, like, talking much? She's like, you're a fake ass. Like, going off. I'm like, okay. Like, you're her. I'm like, in my head, I'm like, okay, like, I know you're her. Like, either you're still her or you guys have recently was talking on. Yeah, yes, it was her. And I'm like, okay, like, something's going on. Because, like, you, like. And I. You would think that. Like, I don't think that's, like, they're together at all.

Alan Ice (73:53)

Like, maybe they're like, buddies.

Allison Lopez (Ali) (73:55)

Yes, that's exactly what I think it was. And I'm like. Because she would have said something to me right then and there, like, if. If she knew that. That I was his date. So I'm like, okay. Like, what the. So that already kind of put, like, a damper in it for me. And then, like, he kind of explained it to me, and I'm like, I wear the pendeja. Like, it's fine. Like, whatever. Like, I get it. Because at the same time, like, I know I'm on my. Yeah. So, like, I can't really, like, like.

Alan Ice (74:15)

Press some about it.

Allison Lopez (Ali) (74:18)

I'm like, I was just at the Israeli guy. I just got dumped today, but I love this.

Alan Ice (74:28)

Dude.

Allison Lopez (Ali) (74:28)

Everybody think I'm probably such a fucking Whore. Which, I mean, it is what it is. But I got just having fun. I'm in my 20s. He ended up making a comment to me or asking me like. Because he ended up posting me on his story the next morning. Oh, okay. Okay. Yeah. Because we ended up the night really good. He posted on his story. I automatically. It's just probably like a bad quality. I just jump into assumptions that like, guys when it comes to like, that they are using me for cloud chasing or like attention tension. And then I remember him telling me like, I'm a grown ass man. I have X, Y and Z. And like, what you. Because I kind of like, I think he was like kind of catching on to it. It bothered me. He's like, I'm a grown ass man. Like, I have X, Y and Z and those are my biggest priorities. And like, I just wanted you to know that, like, I wasn't embarrassed to be around you. Oh. Or to like have you on my side.

Alan Ice (75:14)

And I was like, it depends on the trescosas.

Allison Lopez (Ali) (75:17)

I shouldn't think like that.

Alan Ice (75:18)

You know, I feel like it's a very valid.

Allison Lopez (Ali) (75:19)

Yeah.

Alan Ice (75:20)

Reason to like, think like that. Because you've gotten done dirty so many times.

Allison Lopez (Ali) (75:23)

Exactly. One thing that I will say about him though is like, I feel like he. He didn't let me like explain like why it upset me. Like, I wasn't mad that he posted it. I was. It was just the meaning behind it. Yeah. Which I think, like, I need to talk to him tonight about it.

Alan Ice (75:37)

Be like maybe.

Allison Lopez (Ali) (75:39)

Like today I'll bring it up.

Alan Ice (75:41)

Since the other one canceled.

Allison Lopez (Ali) (75:43)

The other one, like fucking dumped me. Like I might as well, like, you know, just like, see, it is because he's such an amazing guy.

Alan Ice (75:48)

Hopefully it works out. It's like in the right. And I feel like he will, you know, turn out to be okay. He turns out to be. Your guy is social media.

Allison Lopez (Ali) (75:59)

And he's older. That's how like, he's 36.

Monet X Change (76:01)

Oh, okay.

Alan Ice (76:02)

So he's more mature.

Allison Lopez (Ali) (76:03)

Yeah, he's more mature. You know that's what I'm saying. Like, it's so different and like new for me that like, I'm just like, I'm kind of. I'm trying to push myself out of my comfort zone for this one because, like, I normally don't jump into like fucking headfirst. And I like to take my time. Especially if like I said, like, I really want to get to know someone. But like, this is something that like, I'm really like, just kind of taken. Yeah.

Alan Ice (76:24)

I Think you just have to put, like, your guard a little bit down and just.

Allison Lopez (Ali) (76:29)

Dude, I've only ever been in love, like, once, so, like, it's. And I was, like, fucking 17 through 20. And ever since then, like, I've really never given a shit for, like, men's emotions.

Alan Ice (76:39)

So maybe now, like, maybe.

Allison Lopez (Ali) (76:44)

Hoping for, like. Like, please. No, literally, like, I want someone to take me out of my ways. Like, as much as I love, like, you know, getting purses and, you know, finessing men for cash and, like, that, you know, like, I eventually, like, want to have, like, a partner. Like, I want to have a husband. Like, I already have, like, a. I have, like, a manifestation board in my closet of everything. I want my wedding to be. Like, literally, like, I want that.

Alan Ice (77:06)

So you're like, a lover girl at.

Allison Lopez (Ali) (77:07)

The end of the day, like, you want, like, love. I just really want the. The right person to, like, bring me out of it, you know, like, to, like. Because, like, I'll, like, I will definitely change my ways for the right person. And, like, I'll definitely, like, come, come and just like, you know, I love that.

Alan Ice (77:25)

And I feel like, just keep manifesting it, girl.

Allison Lopez (Ali) (77:28)

Keep.

Alan Ice (77:31)

You're like, I'm already. It's already manifested, you know, I'm putting.

Allison Lopez (Ali) (77:34)

It onto the world. And I know he's gonna watch. Watch this. So I'm just like, it's you. You're the one. God technically picked you for me because I got dumped earlier. So, like, you're like, I'm just kidding.

Alan Ice (77:45)

I left the other guy for you. I just slide for the story time.

Allison Lopez (Ali) (77:51)

I just wanted you to know that, like, you know, I'm choosing you, you know.

Alan Ice (77:59)

So what made you be like, you know what? Let me hop on social media and start creating content.

Allison Lopez (Ali) (78:04)

You know, it's so crazy. I didn't even want it. Like, I did. It was not, like, it's something I didn't even, like, seek. It just happened. I had a TikTok, or I still have my TikTok, but I was posting on TikTok maybe like, once every, like, four or five months. And then I don't know why, I posted, like, a lip sync to, like, a Nicki Minaj song. And I woke up the next morning and I had, like, 3 million views. And I was like, I don't know what to do. And one of my friends, he was modeling at the time. I remember asking him, like, what do I do with this? He's like, just keep posting, posting, keep posting. Like, people just want to see what you're Doing. Doing. So that's exactly what I did. I kept posting and posting and posting, and it snowballed from there, and I was like, oh, like, this is. I'm making money now.

Alan Ice (78:42)

Yeah.

Allison Lopez (Ali) (78:42)

And then I was going live, doing my makeup when I was getting ready to go out, or like. Like that, and I would get, like, thousands and thousands and thousands of views. Like, I remember at one point, I think the highest I had was, like, 31, 000 people watching me. There's no way this is happening. Like, that's actually crazy. Yeah. So I don't know what it was that, like, that I ended up getting, like, 100k within, like, a month. I got contacted by this podcast, and I don't. I didn't really know what the, like, the podcast was about because I don't even think I listened to podcasts at the time or. No, I did. I did, but I was just so excited because I was like, I had never been invited somewhere. Like, this is so cool. Like, what do you mean? They're gonna. They want to fly me out to la or, like, just go see that or. No, I drove out here because I was scared to fly. I didn't drive, but, like, my mom drove me, and they got me, like, my hotel. Like, they got me. They set me up really nice. I get there, and it ends up being like those red pill, like, conservative, like, like, man.

Alan Ice (79:43)

Inviting you, like, to, like, kind of like to.

Allison Lopez (Ali) (79:45)

On me. Yes. So I'm like, oh. And I remember I walked in, I walked out, and I was like, I'm really nervous. I should have did my research. Like, how did I not do my research getting here? Like, I'm actually really scared. And I remember my mom was like, just do an edible. Like, you'll be fine. Just do an edible. So I did an edible, and then we're waiting for, like, an hour to start doing the podcast, and then my fucking edible smacks the out of me, and I'm just like, okay. Like, what do I do? And then they look at me and they're like, okay, what's your name, age, and occupation? And I said, hi. Like, my name is Ali. I'm 20. I think I was like, 20, 23. I was like, I'm 23 years old, and I'm a certified bad. Mind you. I'm like, all chorro. Like, I'm high as. And I'm like, yeah, my name is Ali. I'm 23 years old. I'm a certified bad. And all these guys look at me and they're like what? And they're like, they're gagged. Like they did not know what the to do with me. And then they were like, can you repeat that again? And I said it again. And then within like 10 minutes of me being on the there, I popped off on Twitter. Like merely like a meme. Like just spread like wildfire of that, like, yeah, of that moment. Cuz the podcast was live streamed. Oh yes. It was a five hour long stream podcast. And when I got off that podcast, dude, I got dragged so much like it was. I've never in my like, like I've been bullied before, but never in a million years have I ever gotten like dragged like that. Yeah, you know, like, like ever.

Alan Ice (81:15)

Like it almost made you feel like it was like a personal attack.

Allison Lopez (Ali) (81:17)

Yes. You're like, oh yes. And that's how they, they gave me this fucking name like Gorlok the Destroyer or some shit like that. And I remember a couple days went by and like I was kind of sad. Like I kind of had to tap into like, I don't, I don't even know what the fuck it was, but like just like my head and I'm like, you know what? Like I have a decision to make where it's like I'm either gonna let myself be a victim of this situation or I'm gonna like rise above it and do I fucking like, it was like a switch in my head. You know what it was? I was watching the show, the Idol, okay, And you know how like she used like her fame to like her advantage and like to kind of get what she got what she wanted. Like, I just remember watching that show and like applying those morals and like things that she was doing into my situation and I was like, fuck it. Right after that podcast, I started getting booked and booked and book and booked and booked and booked and booked. And then I remember I landed my first ever stream with Aiden Ross. Okay, okay, those are Aiden Ross. And I remember he flew me to Miami and I was like so gagged even be Miami. Honestly, like, I was like, yes, bitch. Like I was made for. Yes. Yeah. Yes. And I remember I did this stream and then I went. I go completely fucking viral in two days of filming. And honestly, like, it was weird because like, and it's still is in this situation because like everybody, I get asked all the time where it's like you submit yourself to like basically like they think that it's like male humiliation. But I'm like, at the end of the day, you would do it too for a Check. Because people think, like, oh, like you're doing this. And, like, what would I see them? Like, obviously that, Like, I mean, like, I don't give a. And at the end of the day, they're paint. It's not. My rates are not cheap, especially when it comes to, like, that. And I'm not saying they can do whatever the fuck they want with me, but at the same time, it's like.

Alan Ice (83:08)

Like, if you're gonna beat the butt of the joke, bitch, at least pay me.

Allison Lopez (Ali) (83:11)

I'm gonna be paid bitch. And that's exactly. I'm a paid bitch. Yeah, I'm a fucking paid bitch. Anybody around you can tell can tell you, Ellen. Like, I'm a paid out bitch, and it's for that fucking reason. And I think it also comes down to my mentality too, where it's like, I'm also gonna use the fuck out of them. And what if it's for money, clout, whatever the fuck it is you want to call it, like, no.

Alan Ice (83:30)

Like, you're gonna make the best out of the situation.

Allison Lopez (Ali) (83:32)

Because I know at the end of the day, they're making fucking millions of dollars off of me. Me. Well, I'm gonna get just as much as I want out of you. Yeah. Period. I love. Exactly.

Alan Ice (83:39)

I just saw a clip, actually, where I thought it was really. You know, you mentioned that they gave you this name Gorlok, right? And for a long time, you kind of rode with it and you were like, it. Like, if this is what people, you know, think is funny or entertaining, like, I'm gonna ride the wave.

Allison Lopez (Ali) (83:56)

It. Yeah.

Alan Ice (83:56)

I mean, Raci. But I just saw a clip, and as soon as I went to the comments, there was a lot of people very proud of you. I think it was with Ryan Garcia where he called you that, and you stood your ground. You're like, that's my name.

Allison Lopez (Ali) (84:07)

Like, exactly.

Alan Ice (84:08)

I didn't give myself that name. And I love that because you're like. Like, I'm gonna put me as Taki. How do you feel like when it comes to that?

Allison Lopez (Ali) (84:15)

Exactly. And you know what? It's a very love hate situation. I dislike it, but I don't hate it. Okay. You know what I mean? Because it's like, at the end of the day, it brought me so much success. It ultimately came down to a decision where, if it really bothered me, I wouldn't be where I am right now. Yeah. And, like, I pat myself on the back because I get. I'm probably getting dragged right now in my comment section by fucking men And I really don't care because, like, it. Like I said, I'm successful. Like, I'm able to help support my family. I'm able to give myself the life that I deserve.

Alan Ice (84:47)

Yeah.

Allison Lopez (Ali) (84:48)

You know, and that's something that I think is commendable. And I. And at the end of the day, too, where I think a lot of people fail to realize is, like, I take it in a sense where it's like, they're just videos and they're just funny videos.

Alan Ice (85:00)

It's content.

Allison Lopez (Ali) (85:00)

It's content that's not really, really all who I am. Like, here I'm sharing a lot. And this is actually one of the first times I think I've ever, like, gone in depth as to, like, how I feel or whatever. Like, just. I think just opening up a lot more because on my TikTok and Instagram, like, I only share what I want people to share, you know, and the rest of the content they get is from streams. I don't share a lot of my personal or, like, family or almost anything at all, unless it's, like, my elf. I share very much surface level of who I am. Not that I'm scared of what people are going to say.

Alan Ice (85:30)

It's just like, that's es maze. Like, you're like, oh, if they're already going off of me for how I look or for how I present myself now, if I really open up.

Allison Lopez (Ali) (85:41)

No.

Alan Ice (85:43)

A field day with me.

Allison Lopez (Ali) (85:44)

It's so crazy because I learned this. I. I've always idolized Paris Hilton, but she said something along the lines of where it's like, you build this character, you know, and because people. People love to hate you, so why am I gonna allow myself to be who I really am if they already don't like me? I'm just gonna give them, if anything, what they want. I'm gonna give them something that's gonna piss them the fuck off. I'm gonna give them something to talk about. And that's exactly what I've been doing. And honestly, I can't wait for the day where it's like, I'm able to. For example, even right now, I'm so happy where I get to sit down and have the opportunity to have a real genuine conversation with you and people who are watching, and they actually get to see, like, beneath the character that is, you know.

Alan Ice (86:31)

Ally.

Allison Lopez (Ali) (86:32)

Yeah. They're gonna. They're meeting me.

Alan Ice (86:33)

Yeah.

Allison Lopez (Ali) (86:34)

You know, and I'm. I'm so happy and, like, I'm so blessed. Ellen, thank you so much for having me. Thank You.

Alan Ice (86:37)

I've been loving this whole conversation because I really, like I said, I feel like you're a streamer and then you get clipped a lot and just like those little videos that go viral. But I really do love sitting down with my guests because I feel like they open up in a whole different level and it's like, fudge the haters. Fudge everyone. You don't know what I've been through. And I love the fact that you're not letting them win because we've talked that you're in a male dominated world. You know, you came up in these streams where a lot of the viewers are male. You had a lot of fudgeing hate from these males. You know, it's not really like the girls talking shit. It's mainly like the males. How does it feel being in a male dominated world as a trans women?

Allison Lopez (Ali) (87:17)

Do you know what? It's so crazy because people who are watching, watching are, they assume that these male creators, like, hate my guts. They like, I feel like they think that, like, oh, that because she's trans or because she's fat or blah, blah, blah. Like they hear like these men that I work with, I. First of all, I'm gonna start by saying I would never work with somebody if I genuinely think that they're a terrible person. I'm so gagged. Like Ryan Garcia. Yeah. You know, like that's sexy ass Ryan Garcia. You know, honestly. Yeah.

Alan Ice (87:54)

No, when I saw it, I was like, oh, my God.

Allison Lopez (Ali) (87:59)

No, but like I was saying, like they noticed that they don't see me as a label. Like, they don't. They see, they see me for who I am as a genuine, like, person who's just fucking living Life. I can 110% say that, like, off camera. I do not feel judged. I don't feel like I'm in a place where somebody's looking at me crazy or if they're having me with them. Like, if anything, they go out of their way to make sure that I'm good and that they have my back. You know what's so crazy, Ellen? The first ever live stream I did, it was literally like for six hours. It was the first. That was the longest stream I've ever done till this day. I had a panic attack because I had never streamed before. I didn't realize that with streaming there's a chat. Yeah. So I fucked up because I had my phone in my hand and I'm reading the chat and I'm reading everything people are saying. I'm reading everything I I, like, fucking lose it. And I go have a panic attack in the restroom, and I'm, like, freaking the fuck out at this point. I'm about to say, you know What? Fuck those 25 bands. I'm walking the fuck out of here. No money is worth me putting myself through this. Whatever. And it just came down to the fact where I think it was my cousin Jen that I was always telling you about. She kind of just pulled together. Like, girl, you're already here. Like, I want that day. Like, at the end of the day, like, it's a job job. She's like, the comments, like, everybody's gonna have an opinion over you. Just, I want that thing.

Alan Ice (89:19)

And I feel like that's great advice because, you know, and this can be not just in the streaming world, but, like, in general. You can apply this to your life. Anyone watching El Momento, you know, there's always gonna be, like, things that, like, want to stop you from, like, doing things, but if you let those moments stop you, you're never gonna, like, make it to where you want to be. Like, if you would have stopped at the beginning of the streaming. Let's say. Let's say over here. Let's say there's like. If your timeline over here is, like, you becoming, you know, so successful and, you know, living and thriving, and you stop right here, you're not going to be able to. You got to. So it's like, keep it going. And I'm glad you did that.

Allison Lopez (Ali) (90:00)

Yeah. I. And I honestly just think, Alan, like, I don't know where the. Like, it's literally like a switch in my head that goes. Because, like, I can be a crybaby sometimes when it comes to things, but when it comes to streaming or, like, social media or anything, I don't know what the. Like, comes over me in a sense where it's like. It's almost like a.

Alan Ice (90:22)

Like a switch.

Allison Lopez (Ali) (90:23)

Yeah, it's a switch. But, like, I don't know how to explain it. It's like, I. I don't know if it's disassociation or if it's like, I. Because I. I still feel like myself. Yeah. But, like, I. I just. It's like this, like, it's Picture like a switch and it says cunt on the top and it's like, serve. I love that. Yeah. It's like, literally, it's like the switch comes on. It's like, okay, like.

Alan Ice (90:47)

I would always be like, oh, my God, like, they're eating me up in the comments. Or, oh, my God, like, They're talking about me. This rumor is getting built up. Like, let me address it. But I've gotten to a point where I'm like, yo una real dictate who I am or how I feel. Like, yeah, you think I'm this or that. Like, that's not who I am. Like, let that be your thought. But it's not gonna be affect me. I think it becomes hard when, like, because social media is our daily life and our job, it's hard to be like, Because at the end of the day, these people don't really know you. And if you get too stuck on the comments or like people making assumptions about you and you're not, you're going to stop living your life authentically. And I feel like you're doing such a great job. Not too recent, but maybe like two years ago that you were telling me that almost led to you almost wanting to quit social media. You were in a big accident. So how did it happen? What happened to the point that you wanted to quit social media?

Allison Lopez (Ali) (91:52)

Okay, so I was in an off roading accident with Julito. And basically this is basically how I went down, down. We had let other people drive us around. We're already about to stop filming because he was doing a YouTube video. And in Arizona, like, there's nothing but desert. Like, when you go off roading, it's all that fun. So we were already gonna stop. And I remember, I don't know if people figured out where we were at or what it was, but it was just like, too hectic where we were gonna, like, it was already our time to celebrate our collaboration. We were like, well, fuck it, if it's too crazy here, let's go somewhere else and let's set up over there. So when we were driving off another razor, started doing donuts around us. And you know how when like. Well, number one, a razor has the weight distribution has to be perfect.

Alan Ice (92:42)

Yeah.

Allison Lopez (Ali) (92:42)

If not, like, any little turn will make you flip. So in order to get out of the donut that someone is doing around us, you have to get in the donut and then, like, get your way out of it. So when they did the turn, I don't know what happened exactly, but I just remember the razor flipping over like three times. And I think I kind of blacked out a little bit or I. I, like, I don't know if I fainted or what it was. I woke up and I'm on top of Willito and I'm like, oh, my God. Like, I'm. I'm squishing. Him, you know, like, I'm pobrecito. Like, he's probably really hurt. Let me try getting, getting up and, like, getting myself out of this. And I remember I tried using my right arm, and I was like, what the. Like, I don't feel. That's so weird. And then I look down and my bone, you know, like those, those long, like, Arctic Fox shirts. My bone is snapped through the, through the shirt. Oh, like, you can see it. Yeah.

Alan Ice (93:40)

Oh, my God.

Allison Lopez (Ali) (93:41)

And there's. My arm is covered in blood.

Alan Ice (93:44)

Is it this arm?

Allison Lopez (Ali) (93:45)

Yeah, it's this arm. That's why I have the scar. Oh, my God.

Alan Ice (93:47)

Babe.

Allison Lopez (Ali) (93:48)

Yes. My arm is, like, covered in blood. I have, like, road, like the road rash or the dirt rash or this. I have, like, road rash. Like, I'm like, I'm basically, like, from, like, all up here to this side of my body is covered in blood. And I'm like, what the fuck just happened? Like, there's no way this just fucking happened. Like, I start freaking out, and then one of the guys who was driving in the front, like, like, lifts me up from my. I don't know how the fuck he got my me up. And Julito was able to get out and then. Or slide himself out of the razor. And I just remember, like, being in there and, like, not being able to kind of comprehend what the fuck just happened because I, I also had a concussion and, like, a gash on my head. And then when I was finally able to, like, realize, like, oh, I need to get myself the out of here, I think it was, it looked a lot worse than what it was, which, I mean, it was still pretty bad because there was an ice chest in the back. And my, when we crashed, it opened and there was a lot of water under us. So imagine my blood and the water water, and it looks like we're in a big ass pile of blood. And I remember my cousins, my siblings, like, they were all there with me, and they were like, I think they thought that, like, I died. Died. Yeah.

Alan Ice (94:56)

No, I would have thought that, too.

Allison Lopez (Ali) (94:58)

And I just remember hearing my brother be like, raven, get the up, get the up. Like, you need to get up. And I'm like, oh, yes. And I just remember, like, I, I, it was such a blur, but I, I remember being stuck in the razor for, like, 45 minutes because they couldn't the, the metal smashed in. And obviously, like, I'm a bigger girl. Like, I'm not gonna, I'm not gonna fit through a little crack to squeeze myself out of Something. And I remember the razor, like, just like fucking squishing me. And someone had to pull like the. I don't know if it was like the roof or what. It was just to give me, like, more wiggle room until the paramedics got there. There. But the paramedics took 45 minutes to get there. And I'm in like, agony at this point. Like, I'm like screaming. Like I didn't. Like, I just. Yes. Like, my. Higher. My. My adrenaline's down already. Like, I'm already at this point. Like, I'm in pain. And I remember seeing like, people. Because it was on a. We were on the bottom of a hill. And I remember seeing like the people on the top of the hill with flashes on. And I remember just thinking, like, oh, my God. Like, I, Like, I almost like died. And people are fucking recording, recording and like doing the fucking most. Because they obviously know I'm with. I don't think I was that big of a time. So I don't think I'm saying I'm a fucking hometown celebrity or anything like that, but, like, they know that he's there and they're just trying to fucking get something out of it. And I just remember thinking to myself, like, this isn't worth it. Like, I almost lost my life. Like, and accidents happened. I didn't blame anybody for that. But I just remember thinking, like, I. Like, this isn't worth it for me. Like, this isn't. What am I doing? Yeah. Like, I don't. I don't want to do this. Like, how did this happen to me? Like, I. I've been in. And mind you, I've been riding razors since I was like 16. Oh. I've never been in an accident. I've done the most reckless ass on a razor. They broke off the. They got the. You know, they. They break metal. Like, they remove the roof. I remember it was like a 45 minute drive or like a 40 minute drive to the UMC. And then I had to get. I was in there for like almost a week. Yeah. He stayed the entire time. Like, he made sure that I was okay. He made like he was worried.

Alan Ice (97:19)

Genuinely.

Allison Lopez (Ali) (97:20)

And mind you, this is like, this was like six days before Christmas that this happened. My arm itself, like, took almost a year to heal because it. I guess when the bone snapped, it tore my skin. So, like, literally everything.

Alan Ice (97:34)

No. Can you show them or.

Allison Lopez (Ali) (97:37)

Yeah.

Alan Ice (97:37)

Do you guys look that? Oh, my God, E. They had to shave the bone that came out. Or like, they put it back in.

Allison Lopez (Ali) (97:48)

They put it back in. So basically like my arm, like, I don't know how the fuck I still have it, honestly, but basically, like, they put like, I have crowd bars in my bones and then I have a plate and then like screws and then like even in my elbow you can feel the screw. Yeah.

Alan Ice (98:05)

What made you, like, after going through this traumatic experience, you know, you get in the mindset of like, I don't want to do this. This isn't worth my life. You know, like, siorita subristo. The next crazy thing I do. Puerto morim. What made you snap back into like, you know what? Like, I know I said I wanted to quit social media, but no, this is what I'm destined to do. This is what I love doing. We're not going to stop.

Allison Lopez (Ali) (98:28)

I think you know what it was, I. It didn't sound so stupid, but Aiden called me and he knew that I was like in the hospital and everything. He was checking on me and then I don't know where he was like, hey, I know you're like pilled the fuck out right now and like painkillers and like you're not all there, But I have 15 bands for you. Like, do you want to just hop on a quick new year stream with me? And I'm like, you know what? Fuck it. Money don't sound bad right now. And then ever since like after that stream of was like, you're like, the.

Alan Ice (98:57)

Medical bill is about to be expensive, so I got to make the money to pay.

Allison Lopez (Ali) (99:01)

I don't know how the I did, but I had health insurance at the time, period. So I was like, I didn't get stuck with that medical because I think it was when I had just started making money so I didn't have to report like that I was making money yet. So I was like, oh, thank you, God. Like, thank you. Oh, shout out to our government, literally.

Alan Ice (99:20)

I'm glad that you're like, good now and I'm glad they, you know, slowed you down, but it is scary that it could have been a life threatening. It was a life threatening accident.

Allison Lopez (Ali) (99:31)

You know.

Alan Ice (99:34)

I've been having such a great time. Where do you see yourself in the next five years, whether that's relationship career wise.

Allison Lopez (Ali) (100:00)

I just want to thank everybody who's watching me who tuned into that light, into that reality show. I gained like a whole new audience in Mexico and I want to get into reality TV over there, dude. Like, I loved it, mind you. I had a blast.

Alan Ice (100:14)

I think you would just do so good. No, I did do good.

Allison Lopez (Ali) (100:19)

Dude, I did so well, mind you. Like, I got slutted the out on that show, and I would. I was always to be one where it's like, I'm never gonna kiss on camera again. I'm never gonna do anything on camera. I made up with, like, four guys in one night. Like, dude, I was a. Like, I was having a ball there. And honestly, like, I just want to say too, like, thank you so much to Roberto, to Melissa, to Emily, to Adeli, to Pa. Wow. To everybody who was in production and that team, because they took such good care of me and they treated me like a fucking princess. So I want to either come back on that show or, like, get into more reality. Do something, because I don't know what it is. I just love the fan base. And they gave me the cutest nickname, Bellota from Powerpuff Girls. I just want to get into Mexican reality. That's something in the next year that I want to do or try to finesse my way back into it in five years. I eventually want to be. Be like, a homeowner. I want to have, like, the best version of what I think stability is. Yeah.

Alan Ice (101:21)

And I love.

Allison Lopez (Ali) (101:21)

I think that's overall the goal. Because, like, being famous, it's cute. Or not even famous, but, like, having. Being a social media star, it's. It's so cute. It's so much fun. But, like. And in five years, I'm gonna be 31, you know, and I don't know if, like, I want to still be Gorlok or if I want to be, like, the baddie or, like, Ali. Like, I just want to be, like, financially stable. I want to be at peace. I want my family to be okay. I want all my close ones to be okay, all my friends to be okay. Like, that's. Overall, you just want to be happy.

Alan Ice (101:49)

Overall, everyone and everything around you to be happy. The reality shows are going to come in the way you've been grinding, because, like I said, girl. This girl did not have to be here this week because she's been booked and busy. I've seen your stories, you've done live streams, and the fact that, like, you're working your ass off to, like, reach every single one of your goals. And I'm so excited and I'm so happy. If you guys have yet to follow her amigas and follow her, I will leave the links down below as well as on the screen. And don't forget to follow me so you guys will miss any future episodes. And with that being said, thank you so much for being here, of course.

Allison Lopez (Ali) (102:37)

Thank you so much for having me. I love it. This conversation went so easily as well. It was so easy. I thought I was going to need like a break or like a another shot or like, I was like, okay, yeah, I'm chilling. Like, it went so easily. Thank you so much for having me.

Alan Ice (102:53)

Thank you so much for being here and thank you guys so much for watching. And we'll see you guys in the next one.

Allison Lopez (Ali) (102:58)

Bye, guys.

Alan Ice (102:59)

Yay. You did so good.

Monet X Change (103:10)

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Allison Lopez (Ali) (104:36)

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Alan Ice (104:41)

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Allison Lopez (Ali) (104:47)

Fascinating. It's accompanied by his natural ally, Doug.

Alan Ice (104:52)

Limu is that guy with the binoculars watching us.

Allison Lopez (Ali) (104:54)

Cut the camera.

Alan Ice (104:55)

They see us.

Allison Lopez (Ali) (104:56)

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Alan Ice (104:58)

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Allison Lopez (Ali) (105:02)

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