← Noche de Pendejadas with Alannized
Noche de Pendejadas with Alannized
Candy & Jay: Divorce, Cancer, Grief, Relationship, Break Up, CHISME & MORE!!
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- [00:00]
A
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B
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- [00:55]
C
really hit me and I was like, she might pass away. You know, like we're gonna fight.
- [01:17]
A
What is up everyone? I'm your host Alan Ice and this is Noche de Pendejadas, your favorite podcast turned talk show. Saturday, July 11th I will be hosting at the Lola in Glendale, Arizona. So make sure you guys go ahead get your tickets. I will leave them linked down below. They will also be available at the door. And with that being said, please help me welcome my guest tonight. Candy and J. You guys, let me just say that I know I always say that it's been a long time in the making. Whenever we film these episodes, the amount of times we've like picked a date, then it's gone. Like I will take accountability. It's been because of me, y'.
- [02:26]
C
All.
- [02:27]
A
I'm like, I will say so. I'm really glad that this is finally happening. And I'm so excited. Tell us a little bit more about your guys trip out here. I know you guys landed here yesterday. What are the vibes?
- [02:53]
B
We're just going to be staying like around this area yesterday. Where did we go?
- [02:57]
C
We went to Hollywood Boulevard where the stars are. I don't know where it's at, but Walk of fame. Walk of fame, yes.
- [03:02]
B
Today after this I think we're gonna spend the afternoon in Santa Monica and then tomorrow. What are we doing?
- [03:10]
C
We're shooting our intro because we stopped shooting on YouTube for a while. We wanted to sit back, kind of think about what we really wanted to do and we're gonna shoot like our kind of like a Trailer tomorrow.
- [03:20]
A
So you guys are doing, like a little bit of everything. It's like fun for work. Collabs. Do you guys have, like, other collabs in mind out here?
- [03:25]
B
We did try to get some, but everybody was really busy. We did kind of last minute, which is also. I'm really excited and happy in the fact that we made this work out because, like you said, we were going back and forth and we just couldn't find a set date. But
- [03:41]
A
I'm so excited because I feel like whenever I really interview someone. But before we do, For those at
- [03:58]
B
home, I'm Candy, or also known as Dulce. Whichever one you'd like. I'm 21 years old. I was born in Pontiac, Michigan.
- [04:08]
C
And then I'm Jonathan, or other known as Jay because Jonathan's a little too long and I don't like John. It sounds like an old man name. But also born in Pontiac, Michigan.
- [04:16]
B
In Michigan though, it's very, very chill. Very different from here. The traffic alone, it was insane here in LA compared to the one in Michigan. It's very chill. There's not many stuff to do, like attractions and stuff, but you get the four seasons. You know, there's a lot of jobs over there. The economy is always nice. We have the lakes. I feel like many people don't really talk about it, but I really like it.
- [04:38]
A
But they're there. Yeah, but it's almost. Well, we're gonna go back and forth, amigas. From Candy to J. From candy to J. Principio, which is your childhood. How was Candy growing up? What were you, like, doing? Tell us all about your childhood.
- [05:02]
B
I was an only child for a very long time, so me la paze kind of solita. And then my cousin started coming along, but even then the age gaps were really big. So I spent most of my childhood just to myself. I was an iPad kid, for sure. I spent it on YouTube. I knew all of the social media trends I was on musically. I was on vine, all of those apps. I was very calmala. I would say I think it's for that same reason that because I was alone most of the time, I was really into toys. I would say I still am a little childish. I've always been a little.
- [05:37]
A
He's like, y. I can assess to that.
- [05:40]
B
Ah, yeah. I would spend a lot of time just with dolls. I would make them little dresses by myself. That was literally what I would spend most of the time doing.
- [05:48]
C
Your little minifigures?
- [05:49]
B
Yes. I was obsessed with mini collecting.
- [05:51]
A
Like collecting them.
- [05:52]
B
I like to Do a lot of side hobbies, too. I played the piano. I was in dance. I was just doing anything for, like, side quest.
- [06:04]
A
That you were an only child. What was your relationship like with your parents growing up? Do you feel like you were more of, like, a mommy's girl, a daddy's girl?
- [06:13]
B
I would definitely say I was a mommy's girl. And my dad's always been in my life. He was very present. But my parents did separate when I was 4 years old. So for most of my childhood that I can remember, it was always just me and my mom. By the time they separated, I kind of had an idea. I got used to it pretty fast. It wasn't like, a drastic change because they were already having, like, a lot of issues between themselves. I never really felt excluded, though. In a te. I kind of was always okay with it. It was a norm for me. Like I said, my dad has always been present. I still saw him during the weekends, but during the week, I would just be with my mom the whole time. At first, for the longest time, I didn't think that it affected me in a negative way. But then when I started getting older, you know, when relationships started coming around, when I met Jonathan and everything, I realized that I had, like, little tendencies and just ways of thinking that definitely had to do with the fact that my parents weren't together. It wasn't just with my parents, but with my family. There's always been, like, a lot of Che always been around that. So it was something that was always in the back of my mind. I had this image of what a relationship was supposed to be like until I was with him for a longer time. And then it definitely changed. And I realized that not every relationship is toxic. You know, not every relationship is full of fights. It can actually be really good and happy as long as you both cultivate it in a way. I knew I was gonna end up with someone. I'm like, Yeah, I just didn't have the idea of, like, you know, that, like, princess and shining armor relationship. I was kind of ready for the downsides that I saw growing up in everybody else. When I would think of relationships, I was definitely ready for the downsides, like I said, the negative sides and all of that. But when I met him, it was just like a whole different world introduced me. Like, I had no idea that it could have be this good.
- [07:56]
A
You know, you grew up with a single mom, Quintana. No Pogito Maze. So, you know, was there ever moments you saw your mom struggle? What were things? Maybe you Saw your mom do to make ends meet.
- [08:06]
B
I don't even know where to start. My mom is my whole entire world. Like, honestly, I owe everything that I do and have for her. She was such a hard worker. In my childhood, I lived in 11 homes. We were always constantly on the move. I didn't really have one stationary home at. And that was pretty much just my mom trying to make it work for the both of us. There was times where she was working two to three jobs. I would only see her in the mornings when she would drop me off to school, and then the rest of the day I'd be at my grandma's house. I think it definitely made me independent. It never made me feel sad, to be honest. Even before I understood what my mom was really doing and why she was kind of absent. I just think she did an amazing job. I felt accompanied the whole time. I just really owe it all to me.
- [08:50]
A
Are you and your mom close?
- [08:51]
B
Yes, very close. We're like best friends.
- [08:54]
A
Like, you tell her everything. Like when you guys first started talking like mom, like Todoto.
- [08:59]
B
I will say she was really strict when it came to boyfriends at first because we met when I was 15 and you were 16. Right? We met at that time. And at first I think my mom was scared, kind of of getting with the guy or me just having a boyfriend.
- [09:15]
C
Not just that, but maybe she was also scared of, like, history repeating itself in a way. Like, you know.
- [09:19]
B
Yeah, she was very cautious. She was strict. At first I told her that I like Jonathan, and she was like, no, mind you, it's just a year. She was like,
- [09:36]
A
Mom, we're in the same class.
- [09:39]
B
She was like, you can have a boyfriend. I. This was the Tuskinces. I was like, okay. Literally a week after my quince, I was like, so I like one of my chamberlain. I happen to like Jonathan. You know, she wasn't happy about it. But then when she realized that I really wanted it. And he was persistent too, because he tried to ask for permission and everything, she hit us with the, you guys can start dating, but in six months.
- [10:00]
A
You're like, you said 15, girl.
- [10:03]
B
So 15 and a half. I was like, why six months? You know? And then she was like, you. You'll just see. I was like, if he really wants you, he'll wait the six months, this and that. You'll see his true intention. And, you know, at first I was like, girl, whatever. Like, you just want me to beat him?
- [10:17]
A
I like, nothing's gonna stop. But I feel like that comes to show that she really was like, you know what? It wasn't that she was stopping you from, you know, dating, but it was more like, girl, like, take it slow, like if you really want to. And if he really sees the future with you, like, he's gonna wait and he's gonna do things the right way. Was like, oh, you don't want me to have fun? You don't want me to date? But like Jonathan said, he's like, it's really like your mom has lived a life. And she's like, I don my daughter to make the same mistakes or for things that happen to me to happen to her. How was your relationship with your dad? You know, yam, you guys didn't live together the whole time. Do you feel like that kind of created some sense of emotional distance with him?
- [10:58]
B
It definitely did. Because I will say, as a dad, he did everything right. He always has. He's always been there for me, supported me in everything I've done, you know, funded for everything I needed. But it's just as a husband, that's where he really failed at. And I feel like a part of me como que latina little rincorto da via. I always had that little gut feeling. I always had that feeling towards him. But I feel like in the last couple years, I kind of grew out of it. And I understand, you know, everyone's the way that they are for a reason. Some people.
- [11:26]
A
Do you feel like that resentment comes from. You mentioned that he cheated on your mom, right?
- [11:30]
B
I don't think he cheated, from what I remember, at least. But he was very machista. He was very controlling with my mom. He didn't let her use makeup, wear certain clothes, certain dresses and things. She was just very controlling, confined. And he definitely abused of the fact because my mom came here when she was pregnant with me, it was just her and my dad for a long time. My grandparents and all my aunts and uncles are in Mexico for a long time. Until later on they moved over here. I think he just took advantage of the fact that my mom had him. Exactly. But like I said, as a father, he always did his job. He's always been a really good dad. But it was just that in the aspect like a husband and partner that he, you know, he really failed that.
- [12:09]
A
Did the machismo affect you growing up? You know, when you grow up with the machista dad, it's like, not only can he be machista towards his wife, but also towards his children. Did he also like mija no tuna pues and ar con falditas or mija, tu esto no est? Otro. Did that affect you, too, like, his machismo?
- [12:26]
B
Yeah, he definitely tried to, but my mom stepped in every single time. When I was like, mom, my dad, he told me that I can't do this and that she was always there, she always had my back. I think, you know, in her mind, she was like, you know what? You're not gonna be that way with her. You could have been that way with me, but you're not gonna be that way with me.
- [12:41]
A
Con misijos.
- [12:42]
B
No other TikTok sound literally by, like, 18. I would say around 17. That's when he kind of really understood that I wasn't gonna, like, back down or anything. I kind of just.
- [12:53]
A
Do you feel like now as an adult, you have more of an emotional relationship with your dad than you did maybe growing up?
- [12:59]
B
Yeah, I definitely did. Like I said, I just kind of accepted the person that he was. I've always loved him. You know, that's never gonna change because he's my dad, But I definitely came to terms with the kind of person he is. You know, the situation that he put me and my mom through with that kind of left it in the past. And I would say we're pretty good now. We're not as close because not only did I not with him in the house, but like, three, four years ago, he moved to Mexico. So the distance right now is even bigger. And I only see him when I visit, like, once or twice a year.
- [13:26]
A
How was that? Like, when he told you the news of, like, mija Mexico. How did he tell you the news? How did you react? Tell us a little bit about that.
- [13:35]
B
At first, I didn't take it too personally. I didn't think about it too much. I was like, it was not going to be any different. You know, the porc. I only see him every weekend. It's not going to be that much. But then after he moved, the, like, first or second month in is when I really started to feel it, and I was like, wait, he's not down the street anymore? Like, I'm not gonna see him as often anymore. I did get a little sad. I did get a little down, and I still do miss him, I will say. But again, I feel like this distance that we have created between me and him is kind of better for the both of us as well.
- [14:06]
A
For anyone that grew with divorced parents, what piece of advice can you give them if they're struggling with trying to really accept the fact that their parents are no longer together?
- [14:14]
B
Honestly, I feel like the younger you are going through that, it may seem very hard just because you don't understand those full situation of it, but growing up, one day it'll just click to you and you'll realize that that was the best situation for everybody involved. For you, your parents, your family. It's nothing to be ashamed of. It's completely normal and it shouldn't affect you, who you are as a person, or it shouldn't affect your future either. You'll be perfectly fine.
- [14:40]
A
Jonathan, You know, what did your childhood look like? What were things you like doing? Did you grow up Quintanas?
- [14:53]
C
My childhood's way different from Dulce. She grew up in maybe like tons of different houses. I grew up in one house, in one house only. My whole life, since I was born to now I'm still in that house. And I was outside. I knew the kids that I lived around. I went to one school and one school only. From pre K to 8th grade. I played sports. Everything was a lot different for me. I feel like in meeting DA made me more thankful and more grateful for everything in a way, because I didn't realize it at the time, but my parents never. I never. I don't think I see them, seen them argue, not one time. And to this day, like, I'm really grateful for that because it, you know, it did help me. Nowadays, I'm very patient with her. I try to be the best person to her. And that's all in a result of who my dad was to my mom. He was the best person to her. So I grew up playing sports. You know, being an outside kid, I was tremendous. ADHD out the roof and I couldn't sit down. I was outside injuring myself, hurting myself. Never broke any bones, but I was outside all the time. I remember I would wake up during summertime, I'd leave outside, my mom would be like, you're not leaving until you do the dishes. You got to do a chore around. I'd wake up at 6am, 7am, get the dishes washed, and then I'd be outside all day, probably till like 8pm or whenever my mom would call me back, my dad would have like a whistle for me. And like I already knew the whistle. If I heard it down the street, I'd come back and then. That's kind of how I grew up though. I just, just, you know, stick to playing. I was always outside getting dirty being a kid.
- [16:20]
A
What sports did you play growing up?
- [16:22]
C
Pretty much every sport. I did soccer, I did boxing, I would play basketball. Not for any teams, though, I live right next to a park, so all the kids, all the neighborhood kids would be there. We'd play volleyball one day, soccer the next, dodgeball the next day. And it was always sports, sports, sports, whatever sport. So I have two stepbrothers, one step brother and one stepsister. And then I have one half brother and a. And then another brother, full brother. And one is, like, 24, I think he's the one that lives with me. And then I have a half brother. He'll come to the US to visit for, like, six months. And he's like a backpacker, like a traveler. So he'll travel for the next six months. He'll be. We don't even know. He'll just post, and he'll be like, in Africa, Egypt. I have a sister who lives in. She's been all over. She was in Michigan growing up. She was around more than my other two siblings. She ended up going to South Carolina, came back, surprised us. She was. She was pregnant, I guess, and she came back with a baby, and we were like, what the heck? Then she ended up leaving again to Mexico because I think her husband's family was, like, sick. So they ended up leaving. She came back, and now she's in Cali. She's in Santa Cruz.
- [17:32]
A
What was your relationship with them growing up like? Do you feel like you had a good relationship with your siblings, or was it kind of like everyone just kind of doing their own thing?
- [17:40]
C
Well, it's because my mom and dad had me really, like, much older. I think my dad was, like, 42 or something. Once he had me with Luis, my brother. That's at my house. I was. We were pretty close, but we were also very, very different. He was more of a inside kid, playing video games, a nerd. Like, he liked school a lot. I hated school. So me and him were, like, very close. Obviously, we live together, and our house isn't huge. Like, we. You know, we're there all the time. But I was outside, he was inside. And then he was in the books. I wasn't and stuff like that. And my sister, she was much older, so she ended up being, like, kind of like another mother figure in a way, you know? And my other brother, he was like the. The bad one in the family, the other one, not the backpacker. I had another brother, and he's in Mexico now, but he was, like, more outside, too, but he was older, so he would, you know, he was already living on his own, working on his own, and so I didn't really like talk much with him, but you know, he came around and we were all pretty close. We all had a good relationship. We didn't really argue, obviously. I think I argued more with, with Luis, my other brother, cuz he's only two years older and you know, you know how that goes. But we were all pretty close because I look at her family and they're all very close. Every Sunday they get together to this day, you know, and it's like all the little cousins, the aunts, the uncles, everyone's together. Yeah. And it's hectic and it's, it's chaos. But it's like very family like, loving chaos.
- [18:56]
A
It's like, oh,
- [19:00]
C
since I met her, her family's always been like that. And I fell in love. I was like, our family wasn't always like, oh, let's get together. And you know, we had our cousins that, that we would get together with for like all the holidays and stuff like that. My uncle ended up getting deported. So they all left and then we all kind of got separated. So I had no one else like my age. So then our family wasn't really like all close. It was more so like just the siblings and stuff. And they were much older, so.
- [19:29]
A
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- [21:10]
B
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- [21:34]
C
We're apart. So when I met Duta, I was like, yo, like, her family's so nice. I have people my age here. And growing up, I was very spoiled. I wouldn't say, oh, I walk in a store and if I want it, I got it. But if I wanted some shoes, mama would be like, okay, we'll get those for you. It was like a two shoes a year type of thing. Once for the beginning of school and then once for once you get out. I was more spoiled spoiled though, because. And I didn't know that. I didn't realize that until I obviously, until I met dude said that I was like, yo, I was very spoiled. I got everything I wanted and I was spoiled with tons of love by my parents. I was much, much closer to my mom because my mom was an outgoing person. She liked being outside as well. She liked being at the parties and stuff like that. And my dad was more of like the homebody more. He works from home. He's a mechanic. He liked being at home just working all the time. And then, you know, he didn't really like going out. He would just kind of work and he liked chilling and drinking his two, three beers a day and, you know, a normal Mexican dad, my mom, I was super close. I was. She would call me her chicle. I was always stuck on her. You know, she would go to the garage sales or stores and I just remember that all the time. And it was like, yeah, I'm going, I'm going. I'd be running out this like, she'd be out, I'm leaving, and I'd be running out of my. Putting on my shoes and there I Go chasing her. I was stuck on her. I was, I was, was. I was a mommy's boy for sure.
- [22:51]
A
You know, if you're comfortable talking about it, you know that when you were 12 years old, you lost your mom. Before we get into that, you know what your mom meant to you, you know, and when you started seeing things getting hard for queue complication as you saw her live prior to, you know, passing away.
- [23:12]
C
So yeah, like I said, I was very close to my mom. And then she was working at a, like a factory job. She was the janitor at like it's like a four wheeler production company and she was cleaning the bathrooms. And I just remember she would always say like, because she had cervical cancer, she would tell my parents and my dad and I would remember her talking about it like, hey, I'm bleeding out of the normal. Like, you know, it's supposed to be a period, but it's like, I don't think this is normal. So we kind of like, like kept in mind and we would take her to the doctor, but the doctors would always be like, no, this is normal. You just have like a, like a heavy flow or whatever.
- [23:47]
A
Heavy flow.
- [23:48]
C
One day I remember she goes to work and she comes back and she's like, yeah. So I had to leave because I'm like bleeding and I have clots. Like it's, there's clots in the, in my blood. And I. And we were all like, well that's, I don't think that's very normal. You know, obviously you bleed tissue and stuff, but it's not normal to be bleeding clots the size of golf balls or whatever, you know. So we take it to the hospital and she's like, no, I'm not leaving until like I figure it out. Because they would always send her home, like, oh, you know, like you're fine. They sent her home. She'd be like, I'm not leaving until I figure out what's really wrong. Like if you guys have to send me somewhere else, do that. But I'm not, I want, you know, an answer. I don't remember. They ended up telling her that she had cancer, but she told us, like she came with the news. I don't know if it was immediately or a little after, but she ended up telling us, me and my brother, that you know, that she did have cancer. And we obviously, like we're kids in my head, it automatically resorts to death. Like when we think of cancer, it's like, she's gonna die.
- [24:39]
A
What was your reaction when she told
- [24:41]
C
you well, obviously, we were just sad crying, and we were like. But she. She made sure that she was strong, and she was like, no, this is nothing. It's just a sickness. It's like having a flu, and I'm gonna get over it, and we're gonna be good. Like, there's no. No problem. And, I mean, that helped a lot. My mom, like, really influenced me to, like, if she was happy, I was happy. If she was sad, I was sad. So she felt really good about it. So it kind of calmed me down a little bit, but it definitely was on my mind. And, like, I remember, like, I was at school crying the next day, and I was just thinking about overthinking. I'm overthinker. Then she started her treatments, and then she was. You know, little by little, she would be like, hey, I feel better. Like, sometimes she would feel way worse. And then I would see that, and she wouldn't tell me she felt. We just saw it, you know? Like, she would just be like, oh, she doesn't feel good. And then eventually, like, the cancer got, like, a lot more rough. It became stronger, aggressive. Yeah. And so we. She had to start, like, her chemotherapy and radiations and stuff like that. And then, like, she was like, oh, I have to shave my head. But she would always make it, like, like, fun or, like, make it, like, a.
- [25:40]
A
Like, nonchalant, almost, like, if it's not like, a big deal, even though it is positive.
- [25:45]
C
Yeah. Yeah. So she would be like, oh, like, you want to shave my head? Like, it'd be cool. You could shave my head. And I would shave her head. She was, like, cool about it. She was like, I'm gonna do my makeup, and I'm gonna put my. My Ray Ban. She was, like, a big fan of Ray Bans. And she said, I'm gonna put my Ray Bans on, and I'm gonna look good. I just bought these hats. Like, I'm gonna wear them. I remember all my aunts were like, oh, you can get wigs, like, and make them look nice. Nice. And she was like, no, no, I don't want to wigs. I want to embrace this. Like, it's. It's nice. I have a good head shape and this and that. And she. She rocked it. She would put her makeup on. She would put her glasses, her big old Ray Bans on. She has some huge Ray Bans, and. And she would. That's just who she became. She was the person that. That rocked her, you know, whoever she was, she was gonna do. She didn't like to fake it. She didn't want to portray someone she wasn't, you know.
- [26:30]
A
You know, before she passed away. Obia mentis. She's going through chemo. You're seeing these drastic changes. It you at that moment understand, like, oh, this is what's really going on. Or were you, like, very stuck in, like, a kid mentality where you're like, oh, I think my mom's sick. She sometimes feels good, sometimes she feels bad, but I think she'll be okay. Or did you kind of, like, ever have moments where maybe you, like, investigated, and we're like, oh, like, this is serious. What was going on, you know, during that period in your head?
- [27:03]
C
She actually beat cancer the first time. She beat it once. And we were happy. We celebrated. By this time, I was already in middle school. I think I was in sixth grade. And she surprised us with a sign and she said, like, your mom has no more cancer. I remember she even, like, recorded a video and she's like, yeah, your mom doesn't have any cancer anymore. Cancer free. I don't know what it said, but we were all happy. We were cheering. We even went to dinner and, like, it was just a good time. I don't recall the exact time frame, but it might have been from like six to a year, six months to a year year, where she ended up coming back and saying, like, you know what? They. They said the cancer came back. And usually when it comes back, it comes back to kill. And that's when it. It really hit me. And by then I was older. I think I was like, 11 maybe at the time. And I was like, that's when it hit me. I was like, this is not going to be easy. Reality really hit me. And I was like, she might, like, pass away, you know, like, we're gonna fight, but she might pass away. But in my head, like, yeah, I still had that kid mentality at the end of the day, and she still seemed, like, strong, but by then she had so many sur. And you could just tell, like, she had aged from how many surgeries and radiations and chemotherapy, because that does kill you. Like, it's very hard on your body. So she did age a lot. She got more wrinkly. She became more fragile, more weaker in a way. And we noticed it, and we knew that in reality, we kind of had that. I had that in the back of my mind. And eventually she ended up passing away. We were actually going to go to Mexico because the doctors here told her, like, there's nothing else we can do. Like, we tried everything. You don't withstand another surgery. She was like, I'm go to Mexico and I'm going to try to find, like, a natural remedy. Something natural. We'll figure it out. And I was like, yeah, I'm going. I'm going with you. We're going to go. I'll leave everything. I don't care. Let's go, me and you. My parents didn't have papers, so my dad was like, well, I'll stay here, work, and I'll send you money, and we'll figure it out. And she was like, let's go. So our plan is to leave the next day. We're packing. We went somewhere. I think to a store to pick up, like, the last couple things we needed. And I just remember her saying, like, oh, I'm really bleeding. There was, like, a towel in the back of the van, and I remember her grabbing it and kind of wrapping it around herself like a diaper. And I think my aunt was driving us or something, and. And she's like, no, like, it's like bleeding a lot. It's going through the. Not only my pants, my underwear, but it's going through the towel.
- [29:16]
B
Yeah.
- [29:17]
C
You know, and that's when we're like, this is not good. Like, this is really bad. So we went to the hospital, and that's when they, like, rushed her through to the er and. And.
- [29:25]
A
And you were seeing all this?
- [29:27]
C
Oh, yeah, I was seeing all of it. And I was like, this is not good. They put her in her room and then they tell, like, you know, they're working on her and. And I. In my head, it's like, oh, it's another, you know. Yeah, it's just. It's going to be another procedure or something. But they ended up telling us, like, there's nothing we can do if we do another procedure. She. She's not making it. It was to a point because they would always take her IV and stuff, and it was to a point where even her veins would, like, reject the iv. Like, they would bounce. At that point. Yeah, at that point, it was too weak because they would hook her up to blood bath bags because she was bleeding. And so they would hook her up. And it got to the point where they were. One day.
- [30:00]
B
They were.
- [30:01]
C
Or not one day with. At that. At the hospital, they were like, we're kind of. In the nicest way, and I understand it. They were like, we're wasting blood in a way. You know, this blood could be used
- [30:10]
A
for patients, like a chance of living type thing.
- [30:14]
C
And she's. She's not. So, like. And she was like, you know what? It's. I accepted it, like, just disconnect it. And she just said her, like, goodbyes and all that. My sister was there and my aunts and uncles, and we all said our goodbyes. I was like, 12 at the time. Yeah, I was 12. And yeah, they disconnected her and we just knew.
- [30:33]
A
Do you remember that moment that you had to say your goodbyes to your mom? Was it something that in the moment you couldn't believe yourself? Because I'm sure, like, you know, obviously you had been dealing with this situation with your mom for a while now, but I'm sure, like, when you're there and you're like, oh, I'm saying goodbye to my mom, did it sink in immediately or was it something that you were like. Like, what the is going on? Like, did it take a little while to process?
- [30:57]
C
I think we got to the hospital, like, around 8pm and by the time all this happened, it was like 3am So I was sleeping and my dad woke me up and he's like, hey, like, you have to say goodbye to her now. And I just remember, yeah, just walking in the room and she just told me, like, to take care and said her goodbyes and stuff. And I just hugged her. My sister was there and, yeah, I just hugged her. And I couldn't see it. I didn't want to see anything, so I just kind of walked out the room and, yeah, it was pretty much it. I don't remember, like, really, like, what I felt in the moment or anything, but it was. I was crying. I was sad.
- [31:33]
A
First of all, I'm so sorry, you know, that you had to go through that. Did she pass away, like, immediately after they disconnected her? Or was it something that, like, was gradually.
- [31:43]
C
Yeah, like, she slowly, like, faded away
- [31:46]
B
in a way at that moment?
- [31:48]
C
Yeah, like after. Yeah, it was. It was there, though. It was in. It was within the hour. Like, it wasn't was pretty, like. Yeah, so once I said goodbye, yeah, she, you know, maybe like an hour or two.
- [31:59]
A
How did the days after look for you? Like, how was your grieving process?
- [32:03]
C
Like, so that is where I feel like I messed up. Because, you know, there's not ever a good or perfect age to lose your parents, I feel like. But I was in an age where I was young enough to understand and young to where my heart is still, like, you know, very small in a way, but also old enough to understand and. And know what's going on. And so in my Head automatically. It's like, if my dad sees me crying, it's gonna kill him. Because my dad was crying. You know, he was with her for so long, and it. If he sees me crying, I was like, it's gonna kill him. So I am not gonna cry. I'm gonna try to hold back. So to in the funeral, I'm like, holding back. I try to make it seem like I didn't know what was going on. Like, I was too young. So I kind of would just, like, I would wander around the funeral home. I went downstairs, and I would just, like, eat snacks or whatever and to stay, like, strong, Very strong.
- [32:53]
A
Did you have a moment where it was too much to bottle and you're like, you know what? I need to let it out?
- [32:57]
C
I think so. But it was always, like, just thinking about my dad. Okay, I can't see. I can't let him see me like this. It's going to kill him. I want to make it seem like, you know, I'm too young to understand. I think that's when it affected me a lot. Because nowadays I don't feel much emotion. It's kind of like a steady line. I don't feel, like, happy or sad. It's kind of always just like, a steady line.
- [33:17]
B
He tells me that after his mom's passing, his emotions kind of just went numb.
- [33:22]
A
You know, I can't relate losing a parent, but I've lost a grandparent. I feel like I used to feel so much before because I can relate to that emotion feeling where it's like, nothing is ever. Like, how do I explain it? Like, it becomes a thing where it's like you kind of don't feel, like, the good and even the good stuff. Like, you kind of like, oh, I'm happy. But it's like, oh, okay, cool. Like, you kind of just get stuck on, like, airplane mode is what I like to kind of, like, describe it. Like, even when I was grieving, I remember my grandma passed away very much like you. I cried because I kind of grew up and was raised by my grandparents. And, you know, when he passed away, like, two years ago, when I found out about the news, I cried maybe for, like, an hour that day. I had a scheduled filming day, like, for the podcast, and I couldn't cancel it. I mean, I feel like I could have, and I feel like my guest would have, like, understood. But I think mentally and as a professional, I was like, oh, my God. Like, this person flew in from Arizona. Like, how am I gonna, like, canc on them? Like, if that's what they came to do here. I even say, like, even that day was so healing for me because my guest that I had that day was just a very happy episode, and it was, like, a funny episode. So I feel like in that moment, I kind of also forgot that, like, oh, shit, my grandpa passed away this morning. But even afterwards, I feel like I cry very little now. I feel like if I cry maybe like once a year, and I'll cry for like a minute, and then I'm like, move it on. Like, you don't have time to feel emotions. And I feel like for you, obviously it happened very young, that it was probably even harder for, you know, and as a kid, we try to, you know, be strong for ourselves, for our parents or so people. And I feel like for you, too, as a guy, it has a bigger factor too, you know, you also don't want to feel like, oh, you're a baby or a punk or whatever it is for crying, even though you were. So it would have been valid if you would have cried out, you know, how was healing from losing your mom, you know, for you? Do you feel like. Like it's something that you're still trying to heal from? Did you have a moment where you also accepted, you know, the fact that maybe she's no longer here with us on Earth, but is still with you?
- [35:32]
C
I. I thought I would because my mom was very, like, spiritual, you know, very religious. So I thought, like, oh, I'm going to get signs from her. This and that dream. Yeah. Or something. But I never really did. But I will say it was like, in a way, one of the. How do I say it without. You know, I don't want to sound, like, come off as rude, but in a way, like, my healing process was way different. All I wanted to do after that was chase my dreams. Like, it was just like, I need to get done what I told her I was going to get done. And since a kid, I would always tell her, like, I'm going to be famous. I'm going to be a singer. I'm going to be a soccer player. I'm going to do something, but I'm going to do it. Like, I'm going to be famous. I'm going to be in the spotlight. I'm going to be rich. I always told her I was going to be successful, and she always told me, like, you are, you know, and after that, it was like, all I wanted to do was just that there was nothing you could have told me or done that would make Me change my mind. Like, I was gonna make things happen and I was gonna. By all means, you know, I was gonna make it happen. And I started working and I started really trying to brainstorm what I wanted to do. I tried a lot of things. I started like a band. I started.
- [36:36]
A
You're like, how the am I gonna do what I told my mom?
- [36:40]
C
I'm gonna do something. Something. I was very inspired by Justin Bieber growing up. I don't know what it was, but I even had his hair. It was bad, but I still get roasted to this day about it. But yeah, I was like, I'm gonna do something. I'm gonna be a singer. I'm gonna be a soccer player, a boxer, something. I'm gonna do it though. And then I started cutting hair. I became very, very good at it. I was. It's kind of like natural. And I became like one of the best in like where I'm at. And that's what I started doing. I started making content out of it. And then I Met dudes at 15 and it was like, it clicked. Like, that was like, okay. Her mom told me, like, oh, Dulce always wanted to be an influencer. She would always pick up my phone and my storage would be full of like just videos of her vlogging Segune.
- [37:27]
B
There still are.
- [37:28]
C
Really? Yeah.
- [37:29]
A
Do you feel like Dulce also helped with like your healing process, like, because you met her kind of like two, three years after you lost your mom?
- [37:36]
C
Yeah, my mom, like I said, was my, like my comfort in a way, you know, and. And she was what she was everything. And I kind of lost that. Cuz my dad, Me and my dad were very close, but he was more of a father figure. You know, it's different. A mother and a father is much different.
- [37:50]
A
Nurturing.
- [37:51]
C
Yeah. So when I met D, it was like having that comfort again. It was like, oh, okay. Like I have someone that can like cry on and stuff like that without
- [38:00]
A
feeling judged from like a masculine figure.
- [38:02]
C
Yeah. And so. So she became that person for me instantly. And it was like, it just clicked. And then she wanted to do what I wanted to do. And it was like.
- [38:11]
B
This Summer prime video takes you back before Legally Blonde, before law school, and into the world of Elle woods in high school. Set in 1995, this Gemini vegetarian knows exactly who she is until her family moves from Bel Air to Seattle. Packed with iconic fashion, 90s nostalgia, and a throwback sound of Elle proves one. Law school was hard. High school was harder. From the world of Legally Blonde, watch Elle A new original series only on Prime Video. Watch now.
- [38:41]
A
This episode is brought to you by Google Chrome. You think you know a browser, but Gemini and Chrome, that's new. It can help you with practically anything on the web, like restoring a vintage motorcycle from a 50 page restoration block. Or finally break down that long article you've had open for weeks. Gemini and Chrome is here for it. Ready to make anything online make sense. There's no place like Chrome. Check responses set up required compatibility and availability varies. 18/.
- [39:10]
B
This summer, serve up the cookout classics. Oscar Mayer hot dogs and Heinz mustard. Grill up a dog, add classic yellow mustard or loaded Chicago style. We all know it's not a cookout without Oscar Mayer.
- [39:23]
A
And hey, kinds.
- [39:25]
C
Yeah, this is my person. Like, there's no, there's no way that it's not. I'm gonna make it like this is gonna be my person no matter what.
- [39:32]
A
You know, it's so funny you mentioned something. You said you didn't want to come off rude with the way you healed. And I think the way you healed though, is a super valid, you know, reason. I've said this so many times. A lot of times actually. You know, I feel like I also did the same thing as you. Like my grandpa, you know, because at one point they lived with me, my grandparents. You know, when grandparents don'. Understand like, like what you really do. Like, let's say if you work at the front desk at a doctor, they'd be telling everybody like that you're the doctor.
- [40:06]
B
She just checks in, patience, you know,
- [40:08]
A
like, you know, that type thing. My grandpa obviously knew that it is social media and like, he obviously knew that like I was, I guess, popular, but he thought I was like Dalia famous. Like, he thought like, no mijo. He would always tell me like, mijo to no pue salina la looking like a bum. Because like, you have an image to have, right? And I would always be like, bruh, it's not that serious. Like, I just make little videos. And he always really believed in my vision. He always used to be like, minieto mi, mi gua ponieto, like, whatever, right? Now that I think about it, when we first moved in to this studio two years ago, the month that we finally started filming, that's the month he passed away. And my grandpa always believed in me. He always was like, no, you're going to be huge. Like, you're huge or whatever. And I feel like I grieved the same way as you because after my grandpa died, I was like, okay, I need to work My fucking ass off. Like, I need to make my grandpa proud because he saw me as this big shit. So I want to make sure that, like, become that. I become that. And I feel like it's very valid. And I feel like a lot of people sometimes, you know, like, maybe my see, like, oh, you didn't love them, or, like, you didn't really care, but it's like, no, that's the way I want to, you know, keep their legacy going. You know, like, they may not be here, but I know that them seeing, like, maybe your mom even just us having this conversation right now, maybe she's looking up there and like, wow, like, me is doing what he told me he was gonna do and is proud. And I really do feel like it's a valid way of grieving. You know what I mean? What piece of advice can you give anyone, you know, maybe a teen or just anyone that has lost a parent that feels things won't get better or just feels lost because of everything that's going on right now?
- [41:48]
C
If I could give advice, it'd definitely be to. To cry, to not be scared of your emotion and to let it out and to take your time. Time and not feel like you have to hold anything in. Because I feel like that's what kind of messed me up in a way, became. It makes me. Like we said, it makes you kind of numb. If I could tell you, it's. It's that it gets better. And no one wants to hear that, but realistically, it does, you know, use it to your advantage. Make what you can out of it. Because it's different when you tell someone, hey, I'm gonna. I'm gonna do this. If you tell your dad. Like, if I told my dad, hey, hey, dad, I'm gonna do this. And he's like, yeah, like, you're. I can see you doing it. I believe in you. You know, that's one thing, and it feels amazing, but it's another when you take that and you get inspired off of a death or. Or something like that. It's like, you can't let it down. There's no way that you can fail now. You know, no matter what, you're gonna make it happen.
- [42:39]
A
And I know you're making your mom proud, you know, thank you so much for opening up. You were very young when it happened. And I'm sure a lot of people, if they can't relate because they haven't lost a parent, I'm sure they've lost someone where they feel like, you know what, Like, I totally understand. You know, We're going to go jump back and forth, you know, quiero platicar contigo, you know, mestavas contando that growing up, you know, you had sleep paralysis. So what was your first experience? Like, what happened? What did you feel in that moment? Did you understand and know when it happened that that's what it was? Or did you have to go do some digging? Did you have to go get diagnosed? What was that whole experience like?
- [43:24]
B
My first experience with sleep paralysis, I was definitely in midd school. I would say maybe 13, 14, around there. 12, 14 is in high school. I remember I was laying down and the way that my bed was. My window was right here, right next to my bed. So my bed is kind of stuck to the wall. I remember I woke up, I was laying on my back. I couldn't move. So I was already like, okay, this is weird. And then I look on my window and I see a shadow, like a silhouette if somebody was standing right outside of the window. So I started freaking out. But I can't move, I can't stand, I can't make noise or anything. Finally, what felt for an eternity later, I'm able to snap out of it. But when I snapped out of it, I realized that there was nobody out the window. So I didn't want to panic too much. I remember I got up, I walked to her room, and I just turned right back around. I was like, no, she's going to think I'm crazy. And then after that, I kind of stopped for a minute. And then we moved to an apartment, like I said, one of the many homes that I was living in. And I was starting to get it again. I would just see stuff. I would see a lot of shadows behind my doors. I would see them by my windows. The same thing as always. And it's just became such a frequent thing to the point where it just. Just doesn't even scare me anymore. It's like a normal in a way. I wake up, I can't move, and I'm like, okay, does that sounds like a. Yeah, it does. To this day, it still does.
- [44:39]
A
Like, before you started to know what it was, did you ever feel like something was wrong with you? Like, did you feel like, oh, like, what did I do? Because that's scary. Especially being so young. I would have freaked out. I don't care if my mom would have thought I was crazy.
- [44:53]
B
I did. But like I said, since I grew up on YouTube, I always like those little scary movies. I'm very much into horror, spirituality, all of that. So I had an idea already what it was. I'm like, wait, was that sleep paralysis? Obviously I looked more into it, you know, I looked online and everything and I confirmed that it was. I was telling my mom about it. She didn't know what it was, but she just kind of. I think it's the fact that she didn't see me as scared.
- [45:17]
A
Yeah.
- [45:17]
B
Why she didn't worry.
- [45:18]
A
She was like, why are you enjoying this?
- [45:21]
B
You know, she'd like pray over me and everything. But that was like most of it.
- [45:25]
A
Did anyone like oh, she's possessed cuz like why is she seeing like that? Like what was that experience? Like when you would tell people what would happen, they tell you.
- [45:31]
B
Like I said, I think it's the fact that I have never really taken it that serious and been scared because I've gone through over many other things. You don't have some mental disorders are like genetic and stuff. I've opened to some concerns about that here and there. But when it came to sleep paralysis, not really. I feel like I come off with it as casual. To them it's just like, oh, she's fine though.
- [45:51]
A
So when you would look it up, does it affect anything like your body, like the way you function like afterwards or it just kind of just affects you in that moment?
- [46:00]
B
I would say scientifically, from what I know, it shouldn't affect you. But I'm very big on my sleep. I'm the type of person I need my eight hours minimum. When I do have those frequently I do get worried that I don't get enough. Because when I tell you I cannot function off enough sleep, I can't. There was one period where I was getting it very frequently and I did feel myself more tired. This and that. I don't know what I did though. I don't remember if maybe I did a certain prayer or what. And it kind of stopped for a moment and now it just happens, but casually I would say like twice a month maybe.
- [46:28]
A
So you feel like nothing triggers it, it just kind happen.
- [46:31]
B
Yeah.
- [46:32]
A
That's scary. I feel like I would. Is there like any like medication for that? Because I feel like I would be panicking. But I feel like that first time I would have been like panicking because then I would have started thinking like there's something wrong with me.
- [46:45]
B
Like I said, it just happens so much to a point where it kind of became a norm thing. Sometimes I'll see scary things. What happens a lot is whatever I see or hear, it'll mimic Somebody I know. It's times where I hear my mom talking to me or I literally see her walk in my room. I snap out of it and she's not there. Like she. For work. Since the morning, there's only been one time, which I don't know if you guys follow me on TikTok, but I did a story time. This is kind of embarrassing, Jonathan. So I was again laying frozen. I'm like, okay, I'm going to sleep paralysis. Here we go. Like, let's get it over with.
- [47:20]
A
Do what you got to do.
- [47:21]
B
So like I said, I woke up. Sleep paralysis. And then I see Jonathan walk in. But at this point I'm confused because it has never mimicked Jonathan in any type of way. So I was. I was like, wait, am I even dreaming or is this actually real life? He walks, walks in, but from the ingua. I can't see his face and lays next to me because I have a queen bed, so there's space for him. I feel him here. I feel his way. I feel him breathing. He talks to me. He starts whispering in my ear. He's like.
- [47:49]
A
He's like a baby spoon and everything.
- [47:54]
B
Oh, my God. So I'm very, very confused, but I can't move. So I'm like, okay, maybe I'm going through it, but Jonathan is actually, actually here.
- [48:01]
A
Like, he's probably, like trying to calm me down or something. Yeah, like you were thinking that.
- [48:05]
B
Yeah, yeah, yeah. But I feel his hand go in my pants. Yeah. And I like, feel him in there.
- [48:15]
A
You're having sex with the phantasma.
- [48:19]
B
So this is the first. This is one of my main experiences where I'm actually freaking out. That's when I start getting really scared and I have these little triggers that I do to snap out of it first. Faster I'll start trying to move my fingers or my toes, and usually it helps me snap out of it. I cannot. It felt like we were there for. In eternity. I finally snap out of it. I look over and there's no one there.
- [48:38]
C
She's off.
- [48:39]
A
Open sesame. With her legs all up. Do you feel like it's like a. Like a conscious thing? It's kind of like when they say when you go to sleep, you kind of. If you dream a lot, you kind of can dream about, like the last thing like you talked about or like the last thing you, like, pictured in your head. You feel like it's like a. Like a conscious thing or like maybe
- [48:57]
B
in a way it's very random.
- [48:58]
A
Maybe you're horny. That Is. But like, you know what I'm trying to say? Like, let's say like you want to sleep scared of something maybe like that come into your sleep paralysis and maybe scare you more or like, whatever it
- [49:10]
B
is, it's very random. I don't, I really, I truly don't think it is because I'll. Like I said, sometimes it's my mom, sometimes it's one of my siblings or something. It's super random. There's not a certain pattern that I've been able to. To catch up on. Yeah, that experience was crazy. That's the first time he's ever been in it. And you know, maybe I was in heaven. The second I started feeling him go in my pants, like I started panicking. I knew something wasn't right.
- [49:33]
A
What happened afterwards? Like, did your anxiety go like through the roof when you got up and you're like, dude, I felt that shit. It felt so real. And having to separate, you know, what you felt and what you experienced with like the reality of what happened, does that get confusing or.
- [49:48]
B
It did. I finally snapped out of it. Like I said, that's the first time that I was really scared. I was, you know, like breathing, reading how I got up. I immediately started texting him and I got really worried. I was like, okay, if in the next couple days, if I get it again and it's something similar, something serious and maybe I should start looking into it. I get. I'm very anti medication. I'm one of those people where I don't really like that stuff. So I'll try to stay as natural as I can. But so far, thankfully, ever since that, the other times have been pretty normal.
- [50:16]
A
Have you ever had a situation where like, maybe someone like, like a family member, him actually sees you experiencing it and is like trying to wake you up, can they wake you up? Or like, what would happen if like, let's say like you're sleeping Itepasa and he's there with you.
- [50:30]
B
That's happened where he's been there, but he can't tell either. He's. There was one time where he was awake. He was on his phone. And I remember I was like, John, like I tried to move, I tried to call him, but he couldn't. Then I finally snapped out of it. I was like, I was just asleep. You were there, Scarlet on your phone, like, nothing.
- [50:45]
A
So you'll have like your eyes closed.
- [50:50]
C
I think it's when your brain is asleep but your body's awake.
- [50:53]
B
Yeah. Yeah, that's pretty much what happens.
- [50:55]
C
I'm Pretty sure.
- [50:56]
B
Not only that, I think. No, no, it is. Your brain is awake, but your body's asleep. When I was little, I used. I don't know if I still do. Maybe you can. Fact. Was it fact check me. I used to sleep with my eyes open.
- [51:08]
C
Yeah. Still to this day. Oh, my God.
- [51:10]
A
You know what's so crazy? My. We. My mom used to take care of some girls and they used to sleep with their eyes open. I remember one time we went to, like, the store and we're like, oh, we'll be back. They. We got back, they were all scared. Like, girl, you were awake. And they're like, oh, we forgot to tell you. We sleep with their eyes open.
- [51:25]
B
Yeah.
- [51:27]
C
How do you miss that? Right? Like, right? Yeah. She's like, sleeps and, like, all I see is the white because her eyes roll back and I'm like, oh, hell no.
- [51:34]
B
Yeah. During sleepovers, every time when I would sit with my cousins or friends or something, I would always get made fun of it. They'd be like, girl, I have so many videos of be delayed. Like, aside from that, there's only been one time where I have had an entity. Like, you know, the basic, I guess, the scary paranormal experiences where something gets on top of you and starts choking you. And I've had that once. It was when I was younger. I don't remember it that well, but it was scary. I. Those are like my top experiences. That one with him and the other.
- [52:02]
A
I feel like I'd be hella scared. I might take it serious, baby. No, I'd be. Especially if it's still happening. I feel like that would exhaust me. Just like, the thought of, like, it can happen tonight, it can happen tonight. Is that like. Like a thought? Like, let's say you go to sleep tonight, you're like, well, let's see if it happens. Like, does it create anxiety around sleeping for you?
- [52:20]
B
When I was around 15, with that time where I was having frequently, I definitely had a lot of anxiety. I was kind of scared of falling asleep. Now it's back to the normal where it's like once or twice a month now I don't have much anxiety. Like, if it happens, it happens. But again, I'm a very logical person. So I feel like if it starts happening to an extent where it affects my personal life, my health, you know, my sleep quality and everything, I'm probably. I'm gonna get it checked.
- [52:43]
A
What piece of adv can you give anyone who has ever struggled with sleep paralysis or is currently struggling with it that feels you Know that sense of anxiety or that sense of like, oh, my God, what's going on with me? What advice can you give them?
- [52:57]
B
A lot of people tend to automatically go to the spiritual side. You know, maybe you think there's an entity or something in your house. I'm religious and I'm very spiritual. I'm very much into the ghost stuff, like I said. But like I said, I'm also very logical. So it's completely normal scientifically, you know, if you want help for you, you can always return out for it. If you want little tactics, like I said, trying to move your fingers and your toes will help you snap out of it faster. Yeah. If it doesn't affect your life personally, if it doesn't affect your health, there's. It's scary, you know, at the end of the day, it's easier said than done. Whoever isn't used to an experience is going to get really scared. But overall, you're fine.
- [53:35]
A
You'll be good.
- [53:36]
C
You'll be good.
- [53:36]
A
You wake up, you're like, just take it as a VR experience.
- [53:40]
B
Literally.
- [53:41]
A
I'm like, just go to sleep with the VR headset. So you don't know if it was the VR? No, because that is scary. I feel like obviously we're not taking it, or we're.
- [53:48]
C
We'll.
- [53:49]
A
We'll say little jokes, but it can be something that people can, you know, really get affected by. You know what I mean? So if you really are struggling with something like that, you guys, like she said, if it's something that you feel like is stopping you from living your normal life, then go get, you know, maybe some professional help or, like, figure out ways or triggers that, like, help you get out of those situations. You know, we're gonna jump. Otra ves paraca No G back to Jonathan. You know. You know that growing up, you experience a school shooting. Where were you at when it happened? In that moment, did you realize what it was? Or did it take you a moment to be like, oh, shit, like, I'm experiencing a school shooting?
- [54:35]
C
I went to Oxford High School, and this was my senior year. I was already four years into that school. We were already getting weird signs at that school. So we had a little courtyard because the school was. It was like a circle. We had two courtyards because it was like a hallway that through the middle, and in one of the courtyards, there's, like, they found, like, a deer head. And. And you can't get into that courtyard if you can only get in through the doors. So that means someone Climbed the roof and, like, dropped the deer head or something. Oh, yeah. And. And they ended up finding the deer, I think, like, a mile down or, like, farther.
- [55:04]
B
So it was like, it's next to the woods, right?
- [55:06]
C
Yeah. So it's like, you know how heavy a deer head is? Like, how do you get on the roof? And, like. So I'm like, okay, so whoever's doing this is crazy. They're not just doing this just to, like, you know, do it. And then, like, couple weeks or months later, the cafeteria bathroom, there was a jar with pee and a bird in it. Like, a dead bird. And so I'm like, okay, this school is weird. Like, something's going on, you know? And then, you know, obviously, like, I feel like all schools got threats, which is not good, but all schools would get threats. So, like, I'm already aware. And I'm like, you know, how? I don't know. At least for me, when I was in school, like, every classroom, I'd be like, okay, if something were to happen, what would I do? I feel like everyone has a plan. Yeah. So I'm, like, making a game plan. I'm hiding out top of those cabinets. I'm doing this if anything were to happen. So I'm already aware. The day of the shooting, I remember we got dismissed from lunch. And we usually get dismissed, like, 10 minutes before the classes leave, so we have to, like, line up outside of the classes. Mine doesn't have people in it before. There's not a class before, so it's always open. And I remember walking by, and there was this one chair that was, like, a comfortable chair. It was like a spinning chair. Everyone would race to get that chair. You know, it's a comfortable chair. So I remember walking by and looking and seeing if the chair was. Was there or not. And if it wasn't, I usually go to the bathroom and stay there till, you know, class is over or whatever. If the chair was there, I just go and get the chair. So I remember I'm walking by this day, and I see that chair, and I'm like, oh, yeah, I'm gonna get the chair. So I sit down in the chair. As soon as I sit down, maybe like, three minutes later, I hear, like, three loud bangs. It's like, bang, bang, bang. And in my head, I stand up, and I'm panicking. I'm like, oh, hell, no. This is going down right now. And I look, I peek outside my classroom. It sounded like someone banged on the locker. Like, really loud, though. So I peek outside. I stand Up. I remember I peeked. Peeked outside my classroom, and all the kids are just staring at me, and no one's, like, reacting or anything. And the bank stopped. So I was like. I felt kind of dumb. I was like, oh, like, I look dumb now. So I go back to my seat, and everyone's just looking at me, and I just like, oh. As soon as I sit down, you just hear, like, bang, bang, bang. Like, you just hear a whole bunch of bangs. And I'm like, oh, hell no. Like, this is. Yeah, this is a shooting. So I get up and I go peek out the door again. And that's when I see, like, kids running. And the teacher across the hall, she's telling me, like, go inside. And I close the door. And I remember I look behind me and everyone's still sitting. And I'm like, what is going on right now? Why are you guys not panicking?
- [57:22]
A
Not panicking? Yeah.
- [57:23]
C
So I, like. I was like, they're shooting. They're shooting. And then I grabbed a little. There's, like, a night lock that you would put. And it would go on, like, on the wall in the door, so, like, no one could open it. And I remember I opened up the thing and I put it on the. On the lock, and. And then I tell everybody, like, they're shooting, they're shooting. We got to hide over here. And then we hit, like, in the corner, you know, where the teacher's desk is. And I was just sitting there, scared. I remember me and Dulce, I think, were, like, arguing that day. And I was like, they're shooting up the school. And she's like. She doesn't believe me.
- [57:51]
B
She's like, we went to different high schools. Mine is like, how long is it for?
- [57:55]
C
It's probably, like, 10 minutes.
- [57:56]
A
So you probably thought, like, oh, he just wants me to, like, not be mad anymore. Like, he's trying to, like, take out any plant.
- [58:03]
B
What are you even saying? And I wasn't in the text because I was also in class. I wasn't, like, fully in the combo. And then I just opened the phone and I see more text. What did you think?
- [58:13]
A
You're like.
- [58:14]
B
My heart dropped. I'm, like, so confused on what's happening. And then a little bit after that, our school goes into lockdown, and they tell everybody there's a shooting in Oxford right now. I start panicking so much. He tells me, because the classroom that he's in, like, he said, it's right next to the bathroom. It's just the hallway in between.
- [58:31]
C
They get the news Automatically. And they go on lockdown. All the schools around go on. On lockdown. And so she goes on like that. And I'm texting. I'm like, they're shooting up the school. Like, at this point in my head, I'm like, I don't know what's gonna happen because I live in Pontiac. And I'm not gonna say it's like, the trenches or whatever, but it's definitely not the suburbs, you know, and it's. It's you. You get, like, crime rate. Like, the crime that goes, like, that happens there. And you get shootings, you get theft, stuff like that. So I hear gunshots. There's nothing new to me, but at the same time, I know that this is complete, completely different. I know that where I'm from, if you hear gunshots, if it has nothing. Yeah. If it has nothing to do with you, no one's gonna shoot at you. Yeah, like, whatever. This is a whole different situation. I'm like, if I get seen, I'm dead. Like, I'm gonna get shot at. So I'm panicking in a way. I'm like, holy. Holy. Like, this is. There's no way this is happening in my head. I'm like, there's. There's no way. And then they tell us over the com, like, we're going into Atlas lockdown, like they said. It's so calm, though. And I'm like, what is going on? So I'm texting Lucy. I'm like, I. I love you. Like this and that. And then I think I'm there. I start seeing everyone's stories. It happens so quick. I start seeing all, like, my friends stories, and they're already outside the school. And I'm like, why am I still in here? But I guess I was, like, near it. So I. You know, there was, like, bodies and stuff around me, unfortunately. And so they had to wait until they cleared all that until they, you know, helped everyone. And then eventually they, like, knocked on the door and said, like, open up. And I'm scared. I'm still like, no, we're not open. I don't care. They're gonna have to break this door down. No one's coming in here. Like, we start hearing the radio. It's the cops and stuff. And then we had, like, a little curtain on our window. We had a substitute teacher. He, like, peeks through the window, and then he sees that it's a. It's a sheriff. And then he lets him in. In my head, I still don't believe it, though. So I'm like hiding and then we're in a dark room for so long and then they open the door and all I see is the light of the hallway and it shines through. So I'm like blinded in a way and I'm like, oh shoot. And all I see is the same silhouette of the. The cop with the gun, with the rifle. And I'm like, bro, I thought I was dead. I was like, yeah, I'm dead. But then it like it cleared up and it was the sheriff and he was like, I need everybody to stand up. Put your head down and you guys aren't going to look up. And then I remember walking out the classroom, they had it like boarded off by the like bodies. It was like military, like people, they're like all waiting there and like they're not letting us see nothing. We have to look down. We're walking all the way down the, the hall to go through the main door. I'm on the opposite end of the school. So we're, we're walking all the way to the main door. I just walking out the classroom, like there's no way this just happened. And then walking out the school, you see like helicopters, like SWAT trucks, like every vehicle you could ever think of. And I was like, what the hell just happened? And then we had to walk like down the street to like a meer that was nearby. And I remember seeing like my friends and stuff and they're all like crying, hugging each other and I'm like, holy, there's no way that just happened. And I just remember calling my dad, like, dad, you gotta come pick me up. He's like, all right, I'm coming. He was like at autozone or something. He's like, all right, I'm on my way. And yeah, I remember my brother called me from Mexico cuz I guess my grandma saw it on the news and then she told my brother and then he called me and he was like, hey, is everything okay?
- [61:37]
A
And did they ever get the shooter or like.
- [61:39]
C
Yeah, they, he surrendered on the spot. I think our. Our off. The officer that worked in the office, he like ran over there, which is crazy. Like the shooter surrendered and he ended up getting took in and yeah, unfortunately ended up killing four people in the school, so. Oh yeah.
- [61:54]
A
But did they ever find like his motives? Was he the one that was doing all like that crazy weird?
- [61:59]
C
No, that's the thing. Then they didn't link it to him. I don't think. Like they said he, that he had no motive. Like he just didn't wanted to shoot up, I guess.
- [62:07]
A
That is so sad. And it's crazy that, like, you know, you hear a lot about it, which we should hear about it less so it could happen less, right?
- [62:14]
B
Unfortunately, normalized.
- [62:16]
A
Unfortunately, yeah, literally. Unfortunately, fortunately, normalized. And you hear, you know, it happened often, but it is very scary, especially because these people that are doing that literally target a place where it's kids, right? Like, it's like not saying, go do it somewhere else, but it's like kids go to school, you know, to learn and to feel safe, and that's where they're choosing to, like, do it. Was it someone like that went to school?
- [62:42]
C
Yeah.
- [62:42]
A
Oh, he went to school.
- [62:44]
C
Yeah.
- [62:44]
A
So.
- [62:44]
C
So I guess he, like, got sent to the office that day for something. Like, I think he had a notebook and. Or something like that. I. I don't remember exactly, but I think he had a notebook. And they, like, it was something bad written in it. And they, like, called the parents, and the parents were like, okay, we'll pick them up, like, another day. They had a choice to pick them up that day or something. And then they ended up getting sent to jail as well. Because they didn't, like, negligence.
- [63:08]
A
Yeah, no, for sure. Because it's like how if you're a student. I didn't know it was a student. Like, how are you even obtaining a gun? You know what I mean? Because how are the laws over there? Like, gun laws?
- [63:17]
C
It's bad. Like, everyone can get a gun. You can get a gun gifted to you. You can't buy legally a gun. A hand, like a pistol. You can't buy a pistol till you're 21, but you can buy AR at like, 18.
- [63:28]
A
That's scary. I feel like guns to me, even, like, obviously California, I feel like. I don't even know crazy too much the laws in California, But I know you can get them. But there's like a whole process for it. But I know in Texas, like, I was just in Texas for my club hosting, and my friends were telling me, oh, yeah, just be careful. Like, don't leave the club too late. Because, you know, in Texas, I mean, I'm sure it's like, you guys, like, people just be like, in their car and, like, they'll be having, like, yeah, it's very. Like, even just if they're going to dinner, though, you'll see, like, their gun, right?
- [63:57]
B
Everyone carries.
- [63:58]
A
This is the way I think about it. Like, yeah, I get it. Like, the whole. Everyone should have the right to carry arms. Like, all that stuff. But it's like, not everyone has the emotional or also just like the ability to really carry it responsible. Because you see a lot of the time, especially. Especially at the clubs, people are drunk people, and they really do feel so ballsy with these guns, you know what I mean? And it's scary. How do you feel like that affected you afterwards? Do you feel like you were always on edge? Did it create anxiety? Did it create, like, some type of fear for you because you experienced something so close to you?
- [64:37]
C
I mean, going through what I went through with my mom, it numbed me a lot. And I feel like I should have been way more scared than what I was that day. I really wasn't. Like, I was scared, but it was like, okay, if it, you know, if this. What it comes to, if this is my story, if this is how it's written, then I'm gonna die. Like, okay. But it's crazy after that. Wasn't really traumatized. I did have a little bit of ptsd, I think, because I remember one time a couple months after, when we were able to go back to school, there was a construction going on at the school. And I remember, like, hearing they were, like, on the roof. And I remember they were, like, banging or something, and we were all, like, ducking down and we were all scared. And I remember, I think a teacher ran out and told him, like, stop or something. But, yeah, I didn't really get nothing from it. It just, you know, it just definitely, like, it didn't hit me till after. I remember coming home after the shooting. Obviously, we went home early. And I remember just posting on my story, like, who needs a haircut? Like, I'd rather work.
- [65:28]
A
Like, you were. So what is it? Like, detached from the situation?
- [65:31]
C
And I remember dudes to tell me, like, are you okay? Like, she's trying to nourish me and comfort me. And I'm just like, yeah, I'm good. Like, you know, at that point, I didn't know who passed away or if anyone passed away. I didn't know anything. So I was just like, you know, hopefully no one got hurt, but I'm gonna just work and distract myself. Like, you know, he's definitely.
- [65:49]
B
Yeah, he's definitely always on edge. Every time we go out, I think it's a man thing. But after that, it just spiked even more. He always has to be facing the exit. He's always looking.
- [65:57]
A
Maybe he doesn't realize how much it really affected him. Maybe it didn't affect him in most
- [66:02]
B
because it'll be bangs. And I'LL see his reaction with any loud noise. I'm like this. But he wants. He wasn't like that. He's very. He was very nonchalant. But now after that, I definitely see him more.
- [66:18]
A
A lot of people know you guys as a couple together. Who made the first move? What was each other's first impression? And how. Did he ask you how to be his girlfriend?
- [66:33]
C
I was around, I think, 14 at the time. Right. And her grandpa does construction. He does tape, like, mudding on drywall. I remember my dad saying, like, oh, I can. I'm gonna ask one of my friends if you can go to work with him. I'm like, why? I don't want to work. Like, I'm chilling right now.
- [66:48]
B
My grandpa and his dad are really good friends. They known each other for a while.
- [66:51]
C
Like, I said, my dad had me, like, very late. So her grandpa and my dad are the same.
- [66:55]
A
He's my dad. Okay.
- [66:57]
C
So I go to work with him, and I. I don't know who this guy is or anything. And. And I remember going. He picks me up. He's like, oh, yeah, I'm gonna up. Pick. Pick you up tomorrow. I'm like, okay, it was like, Wednesday or something. Probably gonna come, like, Monday. Whatever. I'll get ready. And he's like, okay, just tell him to be ready tomorrow. And I'm like, I'm. I guess I'm going to work tomorrow. So I start going to work, and I've always been me. Like, I don't care where I'm at or who I'm with, I'm gonna be me. Luckily, her family was very fun at work. They're. They're playing loud music. They're all yelling.
- [67:23]
B
Because my uncles and other family members work with my grandpa. So he met my grandpa. Grandpa and my uncle's before he even met me. Oh, yeah.
- [67:32]
C
I don't know who she was. And we lived. We live still, like, two minutes walking.
- [67:37]
B
Yeah.
- [67:37]
C
So I'm like, okay. I don't know who she was, though. But I'm at work and I'm dancing and I'm yelling with these guys. I feel comfortable with them already. And I remember them like, oh, you can dance, like. And I remember I've always been in quinces and stuff because I. I'm pretty good at dancing. That's pretty good, though.
- [67:55]
A
She's like, I'm a dancer.
- [67:57]
B
She's like a community.
- [68:00]
A
You should start charging at this point,
- [68:02]
C
even thinking about that. But, like, our whole friend group, we were like, we could charge. And like, yeah, Whatever.
- [68:07]
B
My quince was coming up, and I needed one more Chamberlain. I had everyone down, but I just cannot find that last one. So I'm telling this to my family. Like he said, we meet every Sunday. We know each other's worries. Pretty much most of the time, I open up about that, and then my grandpa's like, oh, well, I have a guy works for me, a little boy works for me. He's around your age. I'm gonna ask him. I was like, okay, what's his name? He's like, jonathan. And I've heard of him before. We. It's crazy. We grew up around same people. We grew up in the same town at the same parties and everything, but I. We just never really knew each other.
- [68:37]
A
Like you knew of him.
- [68:38]
B
Like, I knew of him, but I didn't know that was it. Just his name and his face. That's it. So I remember, I go on Instagram and I find his account, and I text him, like, hey, I don't know if my grandpa mentioned, but I need one more Chamberlain. I was wondering if you wanted to be in it.
- [68:53]
A
What's the rental fee?
- [68:54]
C
Literally, I had told myself I wasn't gonna do them anymore, one, because they make me broke. Like, I have to buy the whole suit and everything. Everything. And I'm like, it's not even worth it. Like, whatever. So I told myself, I'm not doing them no more. But then she DM me, and I was like, I'm not getting fired either, so I'm gonna do it. And I remember, I said, yeah. But then months went by and nothing. They never mentioned it again. So I was like, okay, maybe they're not, you know, maybe they found something. Yeah, they found someone else or something. Whatever. And then my dad, like, I said, he's a mechanic. So her mom took her car to my dad. Her. Her whole family knows my family. So she picks up her car one day, and I. My dad wasn't there, so he's like, oh, you have to give her the keys and this. And I already knew know what to do. So I gave her the keys, and she's like, oh, you're the one that's going to be in my daughter's g. But she said, it's so intimidating. I'm like, yeah. Like, I'm the guy.
- [69:37]
A
I don't know what you've heard.
- [69:39]
C
So I'm like, okay. And then, like, yeah, like a month later, she's like, okay, they're gonna pick you up. Her grandpa's like, they're gonna pick you up. They give me their phone number and stuff and she starts texting me and I start texting her. I don't think nothing of it. I'm like, okay, it's another quince. And then they're like, okay, we're on our way. And I'm like, okay. And then like a minute later they're there and I'm like, damn.
- [69:55]
B
Like that's when we realized we were really close to each other. The first practice started again. Annoyed her. That's where we literally point.
- [70:02]
A
Were you guys like crushing on each other? No, she's cute.
- [70:06]
B
I actually had like my own little middle school boyfriend. He had his own girlfriend at the time too. So the first practice goes on, everything's smooth, we meet, whatever. But then as the practices go on, he like low key starts flirting with me and I'm like, wait, like am
- [70:21]
C
I flirting with each other? Don't.
- [70:31]
B
Okay, yeah, maybe I was.
- [70:32]
C
You looked at me a little.
- [70:33]
A
Like little here and there, like where it's nothing crazy serious.
- [70:35]
B
Yeah, maybe I let it happen. But I still think that he initiated. He was.
- [70:40]
C
I think I just had a flirty personality.
- [70:43]
B
He always has.
- [70:44]
A
Oh, he's like too nice. Okay, okay, okay.
- [70:46]
B
At this point I know exactly what I'm doing. I wasn't with this other little middle school boyfriend. It was like a kid relationship pretty much. We were like on and off. We weren't officially together though. But I remember I told actually our cameraman's older brother, he was another chamber he there and I. Oh, I thought
- [71:03]
A
that was the ex boyfriend. I was like, I was like.
- [71:08]
B
He was. Well he was too. But his older brother was in there too. And I know he's cheesmoso. So I go to him, I'm like, yeah, I kind of like Jonathan like this and that. The vibes are there, whatever. Because he happens to coincidentally break up with his girlfriend like mid before my actual quince. That's what I'm saying. It was like neutral. It was both of us.
- [71:33]
C
It was.
- [71:34]
B
And then I told it to my friend. He's like, really? This and that, whatever. I just let it marinate cuz I know he's going to tell him. He told him. And then did you text me or did I?
- [71:44]
C
I was like, I was like, oh, just tell her like I lowkey feel her too. But I was like, but? But I told him. I was like, but I'm just playing though. I don't really feel her though. I was like, just tell her that. But I knew what I was doing. And then he went and told her. And then we. At that point, we both knew, and we would. You know, we had, like, a couple more practices, like, and we were just like.
- [72:00]
B
But by the day of the ginse, nothing was officially done or said yet,
- [72:04]
A
but he was already texting on some babe or.
- [72:06]
B
No, no, it was just attention was there. And he says that he was sad. The day of my kinsey. Oh, I was so depressed he wasn't gonna see me.
- [72:16]
C
Yeah. Because I was like, okay, after this, Quince, realistically, I'm not gonna see her no more. I was like, it's done. Like, I was so depressed, that whole ginseng. And I remember I was. I'm gonna enjoy this day. But then a couple minutes before I was about to leave, and I was just, like, saying bye to her, and I was so sad. I, like, was like, dang, like, I guess I'll see you another day or whatever.
- [72:31]
A
Like, are you having another keen?
- [72:33]
C
Yeah. I was like, oh. And then that's when I got your number or something.
- [72:38]
B
I think it was through Snapchat.
- [72:39]
C
Oh, yeah, through Snapchat. I got her Snapchat. And then that's when we started texting.
- [72:44]
B
We started flirting here and there. And then that's. My mom already knew about him. You know, obviously, he was over at my house all the time. And that's when I told her that I was getting a crush on. Because, you know, you know, we. We both agreed that we liked it to other at that time, we're, like, fully flirting. So I tell my mom. She's like, I don't know this and that. He comes over. She has to talk to her, and that's when she's like, not until six months. I'm like, okay, girl, whatever. Like, you're being a hater.
- [73:05]
A
Did you guys really wait or. No?
- [73:06]
B
No.
- [73:09]
C
Yeah, because I was still working with her, her grandpa at the time. And I remember her mom makes menudo every Sunday. So I remember her grandpa would be like, do you want to work on Sunday? And usually everyone says no, but me, I'm like, if I say yes, he goes over for menudo during lunchtime, because we only work half the day. And then we'll go. Go get menudo. I was like, I'll get to see her, you know? So I'm like, yeah, Hell, yeah, I'm working. I was like, any day you need me on a Sunday, I'm there. And so I. I go on Sundays with him, and then I always see her, and I. We get to sit on the couch for a Little bit.
- [73:36]
B
We also went to the same gym, so that was our. My mom wouldn't let me go anywhere with him. Not even her little ice cream, not even outside. Nothing. Yeah, the only time was at the gym. And that's because she went. I didn't drive at that time, so me and her were. And he'd just go there at the same time. It was obvious. But, you know, she was able to keep an eye on us the whole time.
- [73:55]
A
How did he ask you out?
- [73:56]
B
Like, he said we always do family trips and everything. We ended up going up north to one of the lakes there in Michigan. It was a yearly thing that we did back then. So we went and it was already the six month mark. I'm pretty sure you talked to my mom right before you had asked me out.
- [74:11]
C
She invited me to the trip and I was like, I'm part of the family. Yeah, I'm getting married. No, I'm just saying. But she, she told me that, oh, you can come if you want. Want, you know, And I'm like, hey, I know you told me to wait six months. Like it's been six. I think it's been like seven at this point. I was like, I was so nervous and I was like, can I like, ask her out? And she's like, yeah, that's fine. And this. And then I was like, okay.
- [74:34]
A
Did she give you a talk or no?
- [74:36]
C
Yeah.
- [74:38]
A
What was that like?
- [74:39]
C
Like slow. Like, don't, don't try to, you know, take it too far too fast. Try to just respect my time. If I tell you this and that, I was like, yeah, perfect. Like, whatever I gotta do, I'll do it, you know.
- [74:52]
B
So then we went to the lake trip and I still have the little video. We went on like this little dock pier thing. And that's where he had asked me out. It was so awkward. You can tell we're like 15 and 16 and we just. My aunt was recording, so we just like hugged each other.
- [75:08]
C
It's like I try to do everything I could. I've always tried to be like the Tai.
- [75:12]
B
He's very. And then, yeah, when we got back home, he already had like a whole, whole bunch of gifts ready for me and everything.
- [75:18]
A
He had been saving up all the money to make it worth it. How was the beginning of the relationship like ob. That you, you know, growing up, you kind of, you know, picked up maybe some of like the toxic traits. And I feel like it's very normal. Especially when a couple starts in their teen years and, you know, in high school where it can get toxic. Or it's like, especially you guys not going to the same school. How were the early, like, days when you guys started. Started actually dating?
- [75:45]
B
We've been through every possible stage you can think of. When we were younger, it was. Yeah. More childish, you know, because we were younger, but it was definitely toxic. He was. He was a little toxic. He didn't like me going out with my friends. He did, like, to the mall or something like that.
- [76:00]
C
He.
- [76:01]
B
We had each other's passwords on everything.
- [76:04]
A
So he was more toxic.
- [76:05]
B
Yeah. Yeah, in the beginning, he definitely was. And. And then he came. Came to a point where I was like, okay, this is too much. I was like, either you stop or I leave you. And then he kind of, like, logged in. After that, everything changed, and he kind of dropped everything. I think it was a security thing, too. We were both, like, insecure because we were, you know, younger. Whatever. I was, too. I was a little toxic on my end, too. I was really emotional or, like, lash out on. Okay. Still.
- [76:29]
A
But, like, I'm working on it. At least I'm trying. What do you feel like we're past patterns or things that you guys saw growing up, that maybe you guys. Now that you guys have been in a long relationship, you're like, you know what? I need to unlearn that for the better of this relationship. Do you guys have traits or just things maybe you guys saw accepted growing up that was so normal to y', all, that you were like, okay, if I really want to make it work with this person, like, I need to stop thinking that way, or I need to stop this. That I do. Or vice versa.
- [77:00]
B
Yes. One big thing for me is I was very aggressive in the beginning. Not, like, physically like. But I was. You know, I'm. I have a vocabulary. So I would call it the name calling, you know, cussing. I wouldn't care.
- [77:15]
A
I little bitch.
- [77:18]
B
No respect at all. And he did the whole time, to this day, I promise you. And I tell everybody, people don't believe me. To this day, he has never called me on my name ever since we were 15. Me, on the other hand, I was calling him every name in the book, you know, and eventually, you know, we started getting older, and he had to sit down talking. He's like, look, I'm very respectful with you. Like, there's no reason for you to be like that. But it was just normal to me. You know, in my house, everybody cusses. You know, everybody talks crazy to each other. So it was something I'm definitely way Better at it now. Yeah, I will say, like I still
- [77:46]
A
cuss at him, but not as much.
- [77:49]
C
Yeah, definitely. I was toxic like she said. And I had to like learn like, okay, if not I'm gonna lose her. At first it's because like I was just so, like I want her to myself and only to myself. Like I don't want no one to even look at her. But we were young, but we were like it's too much to be doing this. Like she's end up leaving me. I'd rather have her here, you know, be with me. So I had to fix it. I fixed it and everything. And there was, there was things that I think we like held in and bottled them up. And that's why like we ended up having difficulties later on in the relationship. But for the most part in the beginning it was just like flirting and you know, we didn't really look at stuff like that.
- [78:22]
B
Yeah, he wouldn't communicate that much. He was really bad whether it was with me or any other things. If he was really stressed, he'd look fine. And then out of nowhere if I did one little things of his mouth, he'd like explode.
- [78:32]
A
Yeah.
- [78:33]
B
And it was just a pattern that I kept realizing I'm. Why, like you can't talk to me. Like you don't have to follow me. Exactly. And that was a problem for such a long time, like years.
- [78:41]
C
It also goes into play like with my past. After everything like that I went through, I was kind of just like, don't mention it, just get over it. Like you'll do it by yourself, you know. So that's kind of what how it
- [78:50]
B
went and it just, yeah, it just brought so many problems because he just exploded. I don't know where like I said before until he started slowly started working on it. Now he has it all figured out. Thankfully I'm 21 and he's 22 now. We've grown up together. We are not the same people we were when we met. As you go, you just have to constantly adapt to your partner
- [79:10]
A
growing up one way or another. Content creation about that. How did creating content come into your guys mind? What were the early content creating days like? And at what moment did you guys realize like, oh shit, like people actually are seen her shit. People actually love our videos. They love us. We could actually do this full time if we really wanted to.
- [79:36]
B
I remember when TikTok first started going on, I don't know if you remember, people were like kind of hating on it. It was 50, 50. Some people were like oh, no. That's like the whack version of musically or whatever. Nobody's getting that anymore. I was still on it. Like I said, I've always been an iPad kid. I'm always on the Internet. And we just started posting us being stupid. Like, what we were pretty much not behind the camera, but what we were like.
- [79:57]
C
Yeah.
- [79:57]
B
And it started getting more and more traction. You know, you reach 100k, 200k by the time we reached 300k is when it kind of started settling. I will say it took a while. We were not taking it seriously at all. But the numbers kept going up and people started pointing out. I remember. Do you remember the first girl that came up to us?
- [80:14]
C
Yeah. At the mall.
- [80:16]
B
We were getting food and this girl came up to. She's like, are you Dulce and Jonathan? I watch you guys on Tik Tok and that. I think that's.
- [80:23]
A
Yeah, that's when I. Oh, you had your Selena moment.
- [80:26]
C
Literally.
- [80:27]
B
Yeah, yeah. That's when it clicked for the both of us. And we're like, wait, maybe we're bigger than what we think we are. So then we just started. Kept posting, kept posting, reach our milestones. And we recently started taking it full time because he was kind of scared of leaving barbering, you know, since that was his income since he was literally, what, 12?
- [80:46]
C
Yeah.
- [80:47]
A
And it was like a stable job.
- [80:48]
C
Yeah. Yeah. That's the bad thing that, like, growing up, where I was at, what I was making barbering, it was like, don't leave that. Like, you're making good money. So it was hard to, like, risk leaving that.
- [80:57]
A
Was it, like, a hard risk to, like, take? Because even though, you know, social media, you hear about it being like, oh, it's never consistent. Like, especially I feel like tick tock, too. Which I'm glad that you guys are starting to do YouTube more and take it more serious. I feel like with Tik Tok, the way their creator Fun works, very consistent. Like, a couple years ago, you used to make bank of it, and now even if you. You get like a million views, like, you'll get 30 bucks. Like, girl, really? Because, like, their rules are so much different. Like, was that, like, a thought you guys had to, like, okay, like, we're gonna go full force, but, like, two months from now, we're not making money or, like, what did you guys think it through, like, before you guys made the leap of faith?
- [81:37]
C
I don't think so, just because I was still cutting hair at the time. So I was like, we're gonna do social Media. But I'm still. My income is still going to be the same. We're still. I'm still cutting hair. I'm still still making money. And then eventually I started cutting less and less, and now I barely, like, cut. Yeah, but I kind of just cut, like, my friends and stuff. But now it's like, I get it. It is something you got to worry about. But I feel like if you really want something really bad, I guess it doesn't really matter. I think you'll make it happen. And like you said, we're on YouTube now, and.
- [82:05]
B
And the thing is, we were kind of doing like, 50, 50 when we first started our YouTube. I was in school and I was. I worked at this perfume store, so I wasn't giving it full time. And then I stopped. I graduated, whatever. I quit my job, everything. And that's when, like, you said, the creator form was feeling really good. And I was like, okay, wait, I can't go on.
- [82:24]
A
Kids get rich. And then they all changed their rules, like, three months later.
- [82:29]
B
Yes. I'm like, wait. So that's when we started pushing more YouTube. You know, our YouTube was doing really well, but the only reason why we decided to take a break, this is actually. You're actually like, part of our very first comeback video.
- [82:40]
C
We're doing, like, a little rebrand moment.
- [82:43]
B
Yeah, our YouTube was nice. You know, obviously our subscribers and everything, they liked our videos are always showing support and everything, but we just felt like we could do so much more, and we just have way more to offer.
- [82:52]
A
Hablandoes y desura, you know, ovia mente nosiero muncho de Cablar. In 2024, you guys had a little break that kind of had your social media followers asking, like, what's going on? Are you guys together? Are you guys not. You guys broke up kind of, right? Like, you guys ended things for, like, seven months. What happened? What was like. And also, how was it like navigating a breakup in person and also being like, oh, like, we're breaking up. But there's people asking for answers. There's people wanting to know, what's up? Like, what was that like?
- [83:29]
C
So, like I said, we did have those things that we didn't end up fixing in the beginning, and they ended up affecting us later on. It was until, like, I. She would tell me, you have to fix this, or I would tell her, you have to fix this. And we just would not fix it. I don't know what it was, but we would not. And it took a whole break or A whole breakup?
- [83:46]
B
Yeah.
- [83:46]
C
For us to finally, like, open our eyes and say, okay, we're gonna lose each other if we don't, you know, fix this.
- [83:53]
B
Yes. Clearing out the air. A lot of people. I don't know where a cheating rumor came from. People think that he cheated on me because it. I was the one that initiated the breakup, and I did make that public in the video that I posted. A lot of people think he cheated, and he didn't. It was really that. It was the buildup of so many issues I just to wanted weren't getting fixed. And it was to a point where the only option was like, okay, we either stay in this place or we break up. And I was like, I'm gonna have to break up. I initiated the breakup, but it wasn't a breakup breakup. It was more of a break. We did that with the intentions of coming back together, working on ourselves, because I felt like that was literally our last resort in our last choice.
- [84:29]
A
So you feel like it was very much like, you know what? Like, maybe we need this break to kind of appreciate each other. Like, let's not be with each other too much. Were you guys still, like, hanging out, like, BTS vibes or texting?
- [84:39]
B
We were no contact for, like, the first two weeks.
- [84:42]
C
Yeah. For the first part of it, yeah.
- [84:43]
A
We were like, game extra.
- [84:47]
B
It's because here's the thing. I used to not scare him, but when I would mention breaking up, he wouldn't really take it serious. Yeah. And I was like, okay, I have to really take a step back for him to understand.
- [84:57]
C
Yeah.
- [84:57]
B
And what happened is the first couple months when he realized, like, oh, she's actually being serious. The first month, he wasn't even focusing on himself. He was just worried about. About me, you know, Even though I was like, I'm not talking to anyone. I'm not. Like, that's not what I wanted to break up for. And then I would say, like, two to three months after then when he actually started focusing on himself and I started. He was doing a lot of good changes for himself.
- [85:19]
A
How was it like, you know, getting back together? Like, did you guys have a moment? Like, maybe he reached out, you reached out where the conversation got serious about, like, okay, now we can try it. Like, yeah, the Castille. I gave you a little break. Like, what was. Was that like. Like finding your way back to each other?
- [85:37]
B
Pretty much. What happened is we slowly started becoming more into contact. It was already really hard to stay in no contact because we were sharing a car at the time. I was Using his car. I had just sold the car that I had. And, like, we're neighbors, you know, our family. Swanson. Oh, my God. I remember when I broke the news to my family, my grandma was like, like, you guys have to fix it. My whole family was devastated. Dated my mom. She was like, just think. Really, like, think twice before your decisions. This and that.
- [86:07]
C
Even her grandpa.
- [86:08]
B
Even my grandpa. He's like your favorite. Yeah, yeah, yeah. They love him.
- [86:12]
A
They all love him more than you. So we're gonna stop seeing him.
- [86:18]
B
I'm like, so you're not gonna ask
- [86:19]
A
me, like, how do I feel? They're all like, how does he feel?
- [86:25]
C
Literally. Yeah, I remember, because they're gonna. Grandpa would be like, sassia. The one that didn't like, he's like, why are you dating my granddaughter? You know, try to be the strict guy. And I get it. But right then and there is when his true color showed. And he was just like, nah. Like, why? Like, you know, he was questioning her. Like, I think he just didn't want to see her with anyone else, like, you know, and risk that. And that's when he came out and
- [86:47]
B
was like, yeah, like, why? And then after time, like, they stopped seeing him at the family parties and everything, they would always ask for him, just hoping to see
- [86:57]
A
back with them.
- [87:00]
B
And. Yeah. So then slowly start coming more into contact. We started hanging out again. I would let him take me out, you know, on dates here and there. He'd come to the parties again, and then pretty much it came to a point where he was just waiting for the green light for me to say when I was ready. And then when I felt like we were truly, truly ready, when I felt like I was the best version of myself and he was of him. We got back together, and honestly, I think that break was the best thing we could have done because I was. Since then, it's been, what was it
- [87:25]
A
like, you know, navigating that breakup in public and, you know, no squint and that you guys really started social media together so people would see you guys as one? You know, what was it like seeing the comments after that breakup video or, like, the accusations of people claiming, thinking they know what really went down in your guys's relationship but still being like, I can't say too much because, like, we're still trying to work out our. Like, I can't go to them before I even fix what. What's going on here? What was that like, navigating it?
- [87:54]
B
That was definitely an eye opener. Because before that, from the Time we started, it was only positive. Like, only love from social media. We barely get any hate comments. But when that whole thing started, that's when I really realized, like, oh, shit. Like, our life is really in public. Like, everybody's in our business. And then the accusation started, and that's when more negativity started coming in. Not only that, after. When we got back together, some people said, they're like, oh, but you guys are always breaking up. And I'm like, bro, we literally only broke up, okay?
- [88:21]
A
They swear they fucking.
- [88:23]
B
They know everything. I'm like, since when are you guys also in the relationship? And it was hard because some people would. They, like, started taking sides, kind of. Some people start hating on him, and they started leaning more towards me when. Since the beginning, the video that I dropped, I, like, made sure I was very clear about everything that I could be clear that I know at the time, you know, I was like, nobody cheated. Like, it was just mutual. We're gonna get back, hopefully this and that. We did get a lot of love, though. You know, some people were really sad when it happened, which I think is. Is really sweet. And then we got back together.
- [88:53]
A
So he was kind of like the bad guy in the break. Not the bad guy, but, like, in the. Hey, how did that feel for you in that moment? Like, oh, like, everyone's coming at me thinking they know what I did, but now, what was it like experiencing that for me?
- [89:05]
C
I was like, man, I don't care. I just need this girl back. I don't care what they have to say. I could clear that up later. Right now, I just got to focus on getting myself together for her and figuring what I got to do figure out. But, yeah, I didn't really care about it.
- [89:19]
A
It was, how do you guys balance? Like, what are we going to share with our online community versus what we're going to keep private? Because I feel like not everything is meant to be, like, publicized.
- [89:30]
B
We definitely agree on what to share and what not to share. But sometimes, let's say we'll have an argument or something, or something goes down, whatever. If I do post about it, it will be like, in a joking type of way. You know, if I'm already crying, I'll just set up the camera, say, like, a stupid reason why I'm crying, blaming it on him, whatever. But in a sarcastically, we're still positive, you know, the mood is still light and everything. But ever since that, we definitely did realize that we have to be more careful on what we say. You know, what we make Public what we keep to ourselves. Like I said, very big eye opener. Another reason why we did post about the breakup and make it public is because we kind of started it together. You know, like, our followers have been there since day ones. They've seen our whole journey up to this day, so it kind of feels like we do owe it up to them. There's also that pressure of they kind of do deserve an explanation because they're, you know, so in tune. But we also like to post some of our bad moments to show the same thing that you said. Not every relationship is perfect. And I don't think it's good to romanticize a relationship online. A lot of people do that, and it's really easy to do that. I get it. But every relationship has their negative sides, and that's just something that we've always been really open about, which is why I don't really mind showing the negative size either.
- [90:39]
A
Do you guys ever get the pressure pictures of, like, marriage, like, kids or not just online, but in person? How do you guys, like, deal with stuff like that?
- [90:46]
B
Oh, my gosh. Marriage is such a big one. We just went to Italy, and everybody in my concert like, oh, he's gonna propose. My family, they're like, you're gonna come back with the ring. My mom swore. She's like, what are you gonna tell me? And I'm like, no. Like, we're just not ready. Like, we already have everything figured out. So there's definitely that slight pressure.
- [91:08]
C
There is that pressure of, like, everyone thinks that I'm gonna propose her. And another thing is, like, like I said, I've always been the Taista, so they assume that I'm gonna make, like, the biggest per. Like a parade or something when I propose. But we already talked about everything. Like, we know how we want it, and we have our plans and everything. So we're trying to stick to that.
- [91:25]
A
What piece of advice would you guys give to any couple watching us right now that feels pressure not just from online, but maybe from family, friends of marriage, kids, when people are putting other people's timelines onto them.
- [91:38]
B
Yeah, I would say, first of all, something that people ask us a lot is, like, relationship advice in general. And the number one thing that we have concluded and came up with is that there has to be effort from both parties. 24, 7. It cannot be, you know, 80. Wait, what's the ratio? 80, 20. It has to be 50. 50. If not, it simply won't work. And that for has to be there non stop. The times that we haven't put where. Either I'm putting more effort or he's putting more effort for. It just doesn't work. It never works out. That's something we've realized.
- [92:07]
C
My dad, he doesn't really care. He's like, whenever you get. He already has his grandkids, so he's
- [92:11]
A
like, tim, you guys are married already? Yes. Yeah. Yeah.
- [92:14]
C
But her family, definitely, they're like, oh, when are you guys going to have kids? And, you know, some of her. Her family had them really young, and then the other half had them really late. And they're like, no, have them late. Some are like, have them early. And we're just like, you know what? We'll go when we want.
- [92:28]
A
We want.
- [92:30]
C
You know, and. But yeah, that's how we kind of do it. We feel like we'll do it when. When we're ready. If I could give you advice, it'd be to go. Go at your own rate. And you and your partner exclude everything else and think about when you guys want to do stuff and you guys figure it out. And don't let people's opinions, you know.
- [92:45]
B
Yeah. It's only you two in the relationship. It's not you two and your family or your followers or your friends or whatever.
- [92:52]
A
What really is going down and the plans that you guys have for your future. I wanna, you know, know couple pop quiz questions. Who does this better or who does this or that? First question. Who said I love you first?
- [93:10]
C
Me.
- [93:11]
B
Yeah.
- [93:11]
A
Who's most likely to say sorry in an argument, whether they're right or wrong?
- [93:17]
B
I would say him, I think.
- [93:18]
C
Me. Yeah.
- [93:19]
B
I apologize, but only when I truly think I should. But besides that, if I think he's in the wrong, I'm not gonna say sorry.
- [93:25]
C
Sometimes, even if I'm. I feel like I'm in the right, I'll be like, you know, what if
- [93:28]
B
I just say sorry? Everything will be good.
- [93:29]
C
So I just.
- [93:30]
B
But that's the thing. Sometimes with him, it takes a lot for him to say it too. E. He's sorry or not. So I would say it's like almost the same.
- [93:36]
A
Okay, who's more sensitive?
- [93:38]
B
Oh, me. I cry. I'm the crier. I'm like. I cry for the both of us. I feel for the both of us.
- [93:43]
A
Yeah, you're. You're his emotions.
- [93:45]
C
All of mine.
- [93:46]
A
In mine. Who's the better communicator?
- [93:49]
B
Definitely me.
- [93:49]
C
Yeah. I think her.
- [93:50]
A
Who's more stubborn?
- [93:52]
C
Her.
- [93:54]
A
Why?
- [93:54]
C
No, I would say so. I don't. Or. Who do you think is more stubborn? Me.
- [94:01]
B
You, you kind of are.
- [94:04]
C
You think so what is stubborn? Maybe I don't know what stubborn is enough.
- [94:09]
B
No, I mean, honestly. Honestly, I think I am a little bit more. But I think we're close. But Yoshino Paso,
- [94:17]
A
who has the worst memory?
- [94:20]
C
Me.
- [94:20]
B
Oh yeah, yeah.
- [94:21]
A
He's a better cook. Him last one who gets jealous. Jealous easier.
- [94:27]
B
Definitely me. Oh my goodness. It was like vice versa because you remember how I told you toxic in the beginning, he would trip out if he saw a guy looking too hard and he saw somebody like in my phone, like even if it was like a comment notification, like something so stupid. And he obviously stopped. Now he just came to terms with everything. He's very nonchalant now.
- [94:47]
C
He.
- [94:47]
B
If somebody looks, he's like, whatever. You know, at the end of the day, you're still with me.
- [94:50]
C
Yeah. She's like, oh, that guy's like bright breaking his neck. And I'm like, don't break it harder right now.
- [94:54]
A
I've been really loving this episode. That I feel like I love ending with just because I feel like sometimes like I'll have episodes that really have passed Cinco anos and we'll go back to them and I'm like, oh my God, you really did do what you said.
- [95:11]
C
Ah.
- [95:12]
A
Where do you guys see yourself in the next five years? Whether that's as a relationship, individually, career wise and
- [95:20]
B
definitely married. We don't know if kids or not though, so maybe we'll have one or two or we'll just decide real, real hard on that.
- [95:29]
C
Maybe though. Maybe. Yeah.
- [95:30]
A
Cuz your family's going to see.
- [95:32]
B
They're like, they said five years.
- [95:34]
C
Yeah, maybe. I don't know. Yeah, we, at first we really wanted kids. Now it's like I don't know.
- [95:39]
B
But definitely married though. And like I said, still on media.
- [95:43]
C
Social.
- [95:43]
B
Social media. Hopefully. We have a lot of history already on the Internet and everything. And like you said, we can look back to this recall.
- [95:51]
A
You know, what about individually?
- [95:53]
C
Individually, I want to be fully done with barbering and hopefully fully on to social media. I want to have a house, my own house. We've been searching for a house for three years now and we cannot find one.
- [96:06]
B
So hopefully we found an apartment though. So we're actually going to move in together next month.
- [96:10]
A
Steps. Those are baby steps. Oh wait, so you guys are finally going to live together?
- [96:14]
B
Yes, next month.
- [96:15]
A
Are you guys excited about that?
- [96:17]
B
Oh my God.
- [96:18]
A
I feel like once you live with your partner, I feel like that's really like when you really see the relationship more serious. So I really am happy for that next chapter of your guys's life.
- [96:34]
C
Though.
- [96:35]
A
Make sure you guys go ahead and follow them. I will leave their links down below as well as on the screen right here right now so you guys will miss any future episodes. And with that being said, thank you guys so much for being here.
- [96:47]
B
Thank you so much for having us. This was so much fun and thank
- [96:50]
A
you guys so much for watching and we'll see you guys in the next one. Bye guys.
- [96:54]
B
Yay.
- [97:06]
C
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A
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A
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C
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A
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- [98:05]
B
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A
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